#ive been slowly reading thru them

[robinniko]

now currently reading a fic where harry is a detective and louis trains k9 dogs, Its SOOOO good so far

[orcelito]

It's so funny actually that there are two reverse bangs that r coming to fruition around the same time. The general trigun one (that I'm in) and then the vashwood specific one.

August is gonna be a Time huh

[sev-wildfang]

2015 - 2024

it has been a while since ive felt the courage or need to post something like this. i worked very hard to scrub all pre-2016 photographs of me off the internet in fact, something i realize was not in the spirit of the person who inspired me at all.

for the sake of brevity im not going to post the entirety of my transition. some two or odd years into it i was fully immersed in the feminine persona i was trying to become but still filled with a yearning that seemed to be incurable.

it was a chance encounter on this website that changed my course forever. i saw a transition timeline by a user who has since deleted their blog, detailing year by year their journey to become a kind of trans woman i didnt even know could exist at that point: a trans-feminine butch.

the clarity of their vision intrigued me. it opened a door where previously i only saw an insurmountable wall. this was something one could want to become. this was not a failure state. this was a lighthouse.

"you measure yourself by stricter standards than you do cis women", my then therapist said, "you allow yourself to play with masculinity in your art. in your art you seem to be able to separate it from male-ness. do you think you might want that in real life?"

immediately after that conversation, i looked at the timeline post again. i decided to get a haircut - a variation of the same short undercut that has become my go-to since. i slowly phased out the dresses that had carried my thru the hardest times of my budding transition. most of them i gifted to other trans women who had more of a need for them.

i set to work on my self once more with new purpose and i found first joy, then peace in the never-ending process of becoming. like every terminally online dyke in 2020 i read Stone Butch Blues, read The Locked Tomb, read Hot Allostatic Load, buzzed my hair off twice, got way too many tattoos to count, found community and friendship in my local queer scene as well as among butches online, and learned that i have the capability to love more than one person. and i love all of the people i used to be and no longer am; the problem child, the teenage romantic, the spiteful young man, the girl wrestling with herself, the baby butch still worried about keeping her tokens of femininity about her, the idiot who tought working night shifts was a good idea, and the clown who said this would be short post just some paragraphs ago.

the user who made that post was a lighthouse that went out as soon as i made it to shore, if you forgive the sentimentality. i am not half the butch they were (and maybe still are?) but maybe that's enough to be worth something to someone. it is something to me.

[poraphia]

Halloooo ^^ ..

I read a lot of ur stories and now Im in love with fictions :3 (might need therapy cuz of it but nvm that)

U an amazing writer <3

(Im pretty new to Tumblr so extremely sorry if this ends up where it shouldnt be or smth like that lol)

But anywaaay , Can I pls request a Wilbur Soot angst fic :D ?

Im going thru THAT phase rn so anything would be awsome really ..

Maybe a fight (unintentionally) breaks out between Wilby and reader and Wilby accidentally raises his voice and reader gets scared ? I know its a cheesy story and people might'a written before but I barely find Wilbur angst fics anymore :(((

Anyway , Thank u so much .. U dont have to write any of this if ur uncomfortable .. Hope ur doing okay :> .. Take care n' bye :D

"You’re Being Too Loud."

➵ PAIRING! cc!stressed!wilbur x stressed!reader

➵ CREATING! 10.12.23 | 1444 words

➵ CONTAINING! angst to comfort, wilbur is ignoring reader, reader lowkey has attachment issues, reader sensitive to loud noises, wilbs is overworked

➵ SAYING! hiii @toastyliltoasts41 welcome to tumblr! sorry for the late late response but i hope you enjoy :) personally going thru this myself especially w so much work ive been doing recently and also im noise sensitive (literally walk around with noise canceling headphones all the time). thank u for all the nice words!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

I slipped off my shoes and placed them near the doorstep. My socks glided against the furnished planks as I slid to our shared office. I dragged my backpack behind me, feeling the weight of my laptop, notebooks, and textbooks. Once I made it to the room, I placed my bag on the chair and unpacked all my belongings onto my desk.

Today was too exhausting, and the one thing I dreaded doing right now was to open my laptop and be faced with more work. Instead of taking my laptop with me, I grabbed my phone and dragged myself out of the office and into the bedroom.

After changing into my loungewear, I snuggled myself into silk sheets, shivering a little from the cold fabric wrapping around my body. Ignoring the chill, I held up my phone with both of my hands and swiped open the messaging app to text my boyfriend. I glanced at the past messages, realizing that Wil hasn’t responded to any of my messages from this afternoon. The last time he texted was this morning when was telling me what time he would come home. Sighing, I typed in another message in hopes that this time he would respond.

“Hey, I’m home now. Too tired to cook food today. Let’s order something when you get home? <3”

I clicked send before clicking off my phone and placing it on the nightstand. My eyes fluttered close, and slowly, I drifted off to sleep.

I woke to the sound of footsteps clicking against the ground. With my hands I pushed my body up to examine the noise. From the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of a familiar tall figure headed toward the office. A small smile formed on my face as I carefully got out of bed.

My bare freet pressed against the cream colored carpet. I wandered around the hallway before finding the office door slightly ajar. Through the crack I saw Wil hunched over his computer. His sweater’s sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and his fingers hastily clicked against his keyboard. Quietly, I approached him from behind, throwing my arms around his shoulders and hugging him close.

Wil quietly hummed in response. I titled my head, pecking his cheek, but he didn’t react and instead his eyes stayed glue to his screen. My eyebrows slightly furrowed, but nonetheless, I continued hugging him.

“Hey, sweetheart.” I mumbled in a croaky voice.

“Hey,” he replied blankly.

“Did you see my texts earlier today?”

“Uh huh,” He said absently. “I saw the message after I ate though. Sorry.”

I felt my chest tighten a little, hurting at his absence. All I wanted in the moment was a hug and a conversation about each other’s day, but instead, he was absorbed in his work and couldn’t even make the effort to look at me.

“Wil, can we talk?” I asked.

He slightly shook his head. “No, not right now, honey. This video has to be out by tomorrow and one of our editors hasn’t been feeling well so I took up the work.” He explained briefly.

“But you’re already busy working at the studio…” I mumbled.

“I know, but I can finish this up by tonight. Just give me some time, please.” He requested. My heart skipped a little, feeling like a dog that had been put aside for a brand new puppy.

“Wil, you haven’t talked to me all day. Could we at least just have dinner together?” I nearly pleaded.

“I already said I just ate, (y/n).” Wil said rather sternly. “Please can I just finish my work?”

“But I want to spend time with you.” I said, speaking up a little bit. I unwrapped my hands away from him and stepped back a little. He turned his chair a little to face me with one of his hands still on the keyboard. He looked up at me, a stressed but furrowed expression on his face. I wrapped my arms around myself, hugging my own chest.

“I want to spend time with you but you’re basically prioritizing this work over me.” I said again. “I understand that sometimes you have too much work. I understand that. But we haven’t been spending time with each other for the past few days and it’s driving me crazy. I just want to relax with you, Wil.” I bit the insides of my cheek. Wil, in turn, sighed and rubbed his nosebridge.

“I’m not prioritizing work over you, (y/n), I’ve just been busy lately and this argument is just stressing me out even more.” His words were spat out like venom.

“Which is why I’m asking that we just spend time together! This isn’t just for me, but it’s for you too.” I threw my hands up, frustrated. “Wilbur, we can relax together! You’re acting like this isn’t stressing me out either!”

Wil got up from his seat now. His tall figure nearly towered over me, making me slightly cower. “I DON’T WANT TO FUCKING RELAX RIGHT NOW, (Y/N)! I HAVE SHIT TO DO!”

I stepped back, nearly stumbling. Without realizing, tears were running down my burning hot cheeks. The air went cold and I felt this hallowing emptiness surrounding me. A ringing was bouncing in my eardrums and goosebumps ran through my arms and legs. He looked down at me, eyes wide as if he just realized what words escaped his lips. Before he could say a word, I walked out of the office and back into bed, slamming the door behind me.

I jumped into the mattress and buried my face deep under the sheets. I quietly sobbed into the fabric, not caring for the tears darkening the silk. It didn’t take but a couple minutes later to hear the creaking of the door and soft footsteps approaching the bed. I lied still under the covers as I felt the mattress dip from a newfound weight.

Wil sat there for a while. His knee shook a little, making a tiny thumping noise against the floor. I was turned away from him with his lower back lightly pressing against the heel of my foot.

“(y/n)..?” He softly called out for me. “Are you awake..?”

I shifted a little, moving my foot away from him to let him know I was listening. He sighed with his leg coming to a stop.

“(y/n), I’m sorry. I—I’ve just been really stressed, but that gives me no right to start yelling at you. And me being really busy has been taking away the time with you.” He paused a little bit, presumably licking his lips. I still didn’t have the courage to move. Instead I laid still, not daring to move. “I’m really sorry, (y/n).” He apologized again.

A deep sigh huffed from my nostrils before I sat up, letting the sheets cascade off my body. He turned his head to look at me, his feet still planted on the ground. I looked into his eyes, seeing the pained looked deep in those irises.

“Y-You know I don’t like loud noises.” I croaked out, my voice cracking with my words. He slowly nodded, bringing his legs up on the bed to fully face me. “And I really don’t like it when you yell. Please, I really just wanted to spend time together.”

“And we will spend time together.” He grabbed my hands and cradled them in his. “I’ll message Elodie right now if she could finish the work. But right now, it’s going to be me and you together, okay? We can maybe catch up on our show and I’ll order some food for you, okay?” He reassured, rubbing his thumb against the back of my hand. “Maybe I’ll steal some fries from you every once in a while.”

I giggled a little. “Noooo! Get your own food!” I whined, lightly pushing his shoulder. He chuckled in response before wrapping his arms around me, pulling me close to his chest. I wrapped my arms around his torso in response, breathing in his scent.

“I just missed you, Wil, you know that…” I softly whispered. He nodded, running his fingers through my hair.

“I missed you too. I promise I do.” He whispered back. His voice was low and deep but he made sure to maintain his volume. It was soothing, something I could fall asleep to,

and most importantly,

it wasn’t loud.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

a / n ~ hope you enjoyeddd notes of all kind are super duper appreciated! if you wanna be in a taglist or an anon my inbox is always freee :D ALSO SURPRISE!! TWO ONESHOTS IN ONE DAY I AM ON A ROLLLL

[distraughtlesbian]

can i speak my truth ? can i keep it real ? there shouldve been more in-party conflict in blades 2. like obviously mc should’ve gotten to cuss mal out in particular when he was like You Dont Know What We’ve Been Thru as if getting kidnapped and forced into a magically induced coma and getting your blood stolen and having constant benadryl nightmares is a walk in the park lmfao, and also just gotten to talk more about what they went through and how it’s impacted them

but also there should’ve been way more beef between the other party members. like girl if i’m nia and i’m spiralling scorning sleep and food constantly hunting for a way to free MY GIRLFRIEND (!!) from the clutches of some goth elf cunt on top of making the fantasy catholic church christlike again and repressing my inner shadow demon and one of my friends is like “hesdeadjim.png give up also fuck you” and then fucked off to be an alcoholic pit fighter, i wouldve actually just thrown hands when we saw each other next. no magic no nothing just me and my nasty little fingers (covered in paper cuts from all the arcane shadow tomes ive been reading) coming straight for her eye sockets. staff of silverlake should’ve been nia’s weapon and she should’ve leapt into the pit in chapter 4 and clocked imtura in the skull with it.

like you bitches should be CRAZY!!!! you should all have DISORDERS!!!! you should be begging ravens perched on busts for RESPITE AND NEPENTHE from your memories of me !!!!!! the moon should never beam without bringing you dreams of ME and the stars never rise but you feel MY bright eyes. tyril should be half-mad with grief and stress he should be mumbling to himself and seeing mc’s silhouette in dark corners. nia should be clearly and obviously off her fucking rocker and constantly on the verge of self destructing and taking us all out with her. imtura should be constantly blind drunk so she doesn’t have to feel her grief or anything at all really. mal should have been in the wind the second it started looking like mc wasn’t coming back and nobody’s heard from him in months. kade should be in a bottomless pit of grief bc when he was stuck in the shadow realm we never gave up hope and we went to rescue him but now that the tables are turned he’s slowly losing hope and day by day and night by night we recede and he becomes more faithless. threep and loola should be inseparable sleeping in a pile together never beyond a wing-length from one another and keeping obsessive tabs on all the other party members no matter how far-flung across morella they are because they’ve already lost everyone and everything they knew to the shadow court once and they’ll be damned if they lose anything else. also kade and aerin should’ve built up a weird semihostile rapport bc once everything fell apart and everyone went their separate ways it was just the two of them in the whitetower palace and kade would go to his cell and sit out of arm’s reach to vent about his time in the shadow realm and his grief and hopes and fears. they both knew and loved mc, in their own ways, despite how aerin hurt them, and now they’ve both lost them, maybe for good. maybe one day aerin starts talking back

where is the SPICE where is the FLAVOUR? where’s the DRAMA where’s the OOMPH where’s the PANACHE? you cannot look at me and tell me these dysfunctional bitches wouldn’t fall back into their worst habits once the one person who held them all together up and vanished into the void. why am i not ending each chapter feeling like i’ve just gotten punched in the dick bc the love is so obviously still there and that’s why it hurts so bad. they should’ve put their whole budget and pussies into forcing the party to fit themselves back together even though they’ve all grown new sharp edges and keep cutting each other up. they should’ve gone full dark no stars about it. grief is an amputation but hope is incurable hemophilia you bleed and bleed and bleed, plants that are split down the middle dont heal they die, you are a language i am no longer fluent in but still remember how to read, what lived and died between us haunts me still, if someone asked me at the end i’d tell them “put me back in it”, i care what ghosts think of me, come back even as a shadow even as a dream, someone has to leave first this is a very old story there is no other ending to this story, etc, etc, you get it you understand. also the mc should’ve come back WRONG.

[kristlewrites]

“Slow it down, Make it bouncy”

CW: Lactation kink, Sub Zoro, Nicknames (mommy, papa, baby, sweetie),Smut, Family AU, Titty fucking, Oral (m!receiving), mommy kink (jus in case)

PAIRING: Zoro x Blk!FemReader

WC: 1.1K

🫧🗯️: I had so much fun wrting this one omg, im always weak for a flustered man. anyways, tyyy SO MUCH for the support ive been receving on all my fics! it means so much to me. so pls enjoy this and ngl i was falling for reader a lil bit like hold awn. Also going thru some of my previous work I do realize that i need to do a little proof read lmao..i apolgise if theres any errors on this.

MINORS DNI

(bounce)

You and your husband have been terrorized by your little infant, crying, screaming, and throwing tantrums. It was almost impossible to get her to calm down, but when she did it wasn’t for long. When she was asleep you would try your best to quickly tidy up all her toys and her highchair just so you can have some peace of mind. Zoro was also a great help too, when It came to take care of the baby. He would give her bubble baths, feed her, and keep her entertained while you're trying to catch up with some sleep. Even though with all the pain and frustrations you can’t bring yourself to be mad at the situation at all. 

But due to all of that you and Zoro had barely any time to even sleep in the same bed?!? As you were busy taking care of the baby, Zoro was also preoccupied with work. You guys had no time at all for each other! So you come up with a brilliant idea, you drop off your little baby girl at your parents house for the weekend, and clean up the house. You take a nice steamy shower and put on your most seductive lingerie you own and waited.

Alerted by the sounds of the keys clicking, you stay in the bedroom awaiting your husband.

Leisurely, Zoro twists the bedroom door knob flinching at the provocative sight. You laying in bed, in a too tight lingerie laying down. You get up immediately and greet your husband. “Hey baby, how was work?” you ask, giving him a fat kiss on his cheek.

“Uh It was fine” He says clearly startled by your appearance. “Where's Kamora?” He asks scanning the room. 

“I dropped her off at my parents, and trust me they are elated to see their granddaughter” You reply tapping him on his chest.

“Why?”

“Because I wanted to have some us time, we've barely had any time for the both of us, alone.” You pout “Plus I wanna treat you, since you've been working so hard lately” you say trailing you acrylic down his chest. “What do you say papa?” 

Zoro positioned on the edge of your bed with you on your knees. You drag both his pants and his boxers down, and you are met with his throbbing dick. Marveling at it in all its glory you reach for the base and spit on it using it as  a makeshift lubricant. Swiftly you start stroking in a vertical motion going up and down on his large cock. You can hear Zoro moan above, “You like it like this?, honey” you whisper but just loud enough that Zoro can hear. Nodding his head you hear him let out a small whimper “Yeaah let it all out for mama” You grin, with one hand still stroking, you bring your breast wrapping them around his dick.

      Bouncing up and down you envelop his dick within your large titties, going nice and slow. Using your hands you usher up your tits, swallowing up his poor penis. You feel it twitching, “Baby are you gonna cum?” You tease, pecking his tip. “It’s okay, cum all over mamas titties” and as if it was on command zoro came all over your chest. “It felt good didn’t it?” You ask, letting out a small giggle..

��Mhmm’ Zoro moaned.

Kissing his cock, you go down slowly leaving no area untouched and leaving salvia everywhere. Licking upwards you insert his tip between your lips. Gradually you admit his whole cock into your mouth. At a faster pace you start rocking back and forth, wrapping your warm tongue around his dick, taking it in so sloppily. Using your hands you enfold the rest of his fat cock and twist around in a fluid motion.You continue this for another thirty seconds until you feel zoro's dick tremor in your mouth. With no warning, you feel zoro's warm sticky cum lodges in your throat. Releasing his cock with a smooth ‘pop’ sound you smile, “Oh my god baby, you are so sensitive. Have you missed me?” You muse grinning upwards looking at your husband's flustered face.

“yes” Zoro shyly replies

“You are so cute papa” you marvel while rising up towards his face, leaning towards his lips and kissing him. He then opens his mouth and enters , bit by bit your tongue enters and works its way onto his. You push him down carefully so that now you are still on top of him. Still kissing, you bite down on his bottom lip and he lets out a small whimper.

You crawl down, now onto his pelvis region, you sensually remove your lingerie displaying your leaking cunt. You climb onto his dick, letting the slick from your pussy help ease it in. You gasp from sensation, continuing to position yourself upon his dick. You grab Zoro's still hands and situate them on your hips. “Cmon baby you can't expect me to take all this by myself” you pout a lil teasing zoro. Hearing your pleas he strengthens his grip on your hips and assists down his dick. 

“Ah” you cry out, feeling his dick all up in your vagina. Firmly you press your hands against his abdomen using it as support and start bouncing. You start going up and slowly, but once you get more comfortable you start going in a faster motion. Adjusting into smooth tempo, your ass smacking against his pelvis noises filling up the room, you whine from the movement. Feeling his dick sliding up and down your cunt. Wailing from how good it feels to be so full. Mesmerized, zoro studies your breasts as they follow the rhythm of your bounce. Guiding his fingers to your nipples, squeezing them. Milk spurts out.

“Mmm” You wail “You can't do that, it's for kamora sweetie” You say gasping, exhausted. Your legs are sore from the endless bouncing. Your hands still placed on his stomach, you pick up the pace, going faster. You feel Zoro squirming underneath you. “Cum in me, i want another one please.” You plead, leading one of your fingers towards your tummy where his dick bulge is displayed. This drives him crazy and he shoots it up your pussy, painting your walls white. Your orgasm comes flooding down just right after. “Agh” you squeal out, collapsing down on Zoro's chest.

“Not too much, what about kamora?” you whine, gently tapping the side of zoro's face. Latched onto your right nipple draining all you have. You guys are laying down under yalls sheets, zoro as the little spoon indulging himself into your boobs.

“But it's so sweet mommy” Zoro sulks, leaving a small saliva trail on your titty.

“Well when you say it like that, only a little bit more ok?”

Zoro nods, and resumes sucking. Whilst you comb your hot pink acrylics through his short stubby minty hair

[starrbright]

Yielding Against The Waves |Nanami K.

"I just miss you, in a quite simple desperate human way." Vita Sackville-West to Virginia Woolf

Continuation of The Inevitability of Nature. A work of mine which was inspired from @shaisuki 's works, X | X.

all my y/n are afab, fat and of color.

painting of hokusai, the great wave off kanagawa. banner by @cafekitsune.

1.5k words. fluff. smut.

ive been going thru it, so 😁. i teared up when i read the scene with the three of them after i wrote it—

Nanami would have never thought himself to be....needy. But there he is, each time his class ends, he makes you stay, always catching your arm before you could step away from his vicinity.

Burying himself in your embrace, at this point everyone in his class knew that you and him were a thing and how fucking glad you were none of them didn't give a fuck enough for a drama to happen. Shit, if anything, there's always that one student who's always the last before you to leave the room, whichver of them-locks the room for you both. Lucky enough that you were on good terms with them and that Nanami is a respectable and highly regard of a professor after all.

"You have a vacant time right now, come with me to my office," he says, his voice deep on your neck as he holds you tight.

A little and quiet laugh you make while you caress his hair, emitting a low groan from him. "I need to use my vacant time to continue writing my paper." That was almost a lie. You wanted nothing more than to indulge him and even more yourself, but you know you couldn't spoil yourself too much, at least it was a little backup for your pride that you try to keep.

Nanami was beginning to be known of it and he's found it rather endearing. He nuzzles his face on your neck, always liking the way your head lolled against his with your shaking breath leaving you.  "You have more than enough days to finish your paper. I'm just asking for an hour or two, angel."

It wasn't that hard for your resolve to crack early when it comes to him. Perhaps that's how it is anyways—love. Even when it's not there yet. It's there.

Still, you try for now. "You talk of an hour or two as if you don't hate wasting time nor you like working past your shift." You remarked playfully.

And how could he not find you even more endearing whenever you manage to make the man break a smirk or even a smile. A soft breath of little laugh escapes him and you feel it on your skin. "For you, angel, for you." He mutters softly before trailing his lips on your neck to your chin, your supple cheeks and to your forehead. "And you could never waste my time."

How could you keep your resolve?

"Alright." That word was the reason you found yourself sitting on your professor's lap in his office. While he rests back heavily on his chair, his eyes closed, as your skirt is bunched up to your waist, his pants just on his knees. Enjoying how good you were for him as you take his cock so well, buried deep in you to warm him up.

Eased you were on him, all the goodness of your weight rest heavy on him, but it was taking all of your restraint to not chase the itch you were aching to burn in your core. Trying to focus on the cold of the room instead of the heat beginning to get thick between you two, sweat rolling down on your skins, the pounding of your heart. Trying to mute it all away as you slowly slid up your grasping palms on his arms to his biceps, wrinkling his dress shirt as you fists on them.

"This is torture, you know." You breathe, having couldn't bear it.

A low rumble thrums from Nanami's chest, his eyes opening slowly to look at you. "One which I enjoy truly." A little tug of his lips showing as he says. While he begins to slid his hands beneath your shirt and gently fondle your fat tummy, the sheet of sweat wetting his skin.

You inhale a hiss softly from the feel of his big hands fondling you against the burning goodness in your cunt swallowing his cock deeply. "I can see that." You hardly spoke. You couldn't find the push to even glare at him.

Nanami laughs a little, keeping his eyes on you. "Angel." He spoke then, breathing it out softly as he grazes his knuckles on your cheek and you lolled against it, your eyes closing for a moment--before you gently hold that wrist of his, opening his closed hand and nestled your cheek onto his palm.

His eyes almost shines. His breath flowing in deep in his mouth.

A reminiscing moment flashes fleetingly in his memories.

"So," Gojo hisses with a low laugh, gently swirling his glass of alcohol. Geto rolls his eyes as he chugs his own, already knowing where the first conversation of their night will lead. "You wanna tell us about her?" He lightly grins.

It has been a month of you and him being together, though with the two of his trusted friends have known of it--nothing has been said from Nanami himself. With the exception of the said best friends or more so lovers gossiping to themselves about it, of course. And not that Nanami didn't know about it anyway.

"What's there to tell about?" Nanami responds simply. He wasn't about to tell them how he's been always wanting and needing of you. The gallery in his phone filled with the pictures you send him randomly, images of your smiles, many of trivial things you come across in your day, and many of him that ones which you take of. The many sections of his wallet tucked with coupons and receipts from the cafes and bakeries you two go to. Each and every pieces he finds and come across has him reminding of you whenever. That it's been difficult to keep himself from smiling to only the thought of you.

It's been difficult to keep it difficult.

Geto laughs as his stubborn lover scowled at Nanami, no doubt that his piercing blue eyes were glaring behind his glasses against Nanami's ever calm ones. Geto pours himself another shot of their bottle of alcohol before speaking up then. "Humor him, Kento. He's been nothing but a pester to me about the subject." He tells, ever amused. "Though of course I'm not saying I ain't curious as well nor it hasn't been entertaining me."

Nanami only tuts his head aside, almost rolling his eyes, not at all surprised about it. His eyes reflects through his glasses against the thick crystallized rock that was filled with scotch, still untouched. It would only make the burn in his heart more hurtful.

It's addicting.

Yet indeed—what is there to say? It seems that it wasn't only his friends he's been avoiding of speaking about his situation.

He was....brave enough to let himself say yes in the beginning, though the more he delve in farther—of course, the remnants of his....fear was still there and surfacing every now and then. But who wouldn't be having needles tearing their seams as they sail through uncharted waters?

As suave he is, Nanami downs his drink. The lovers wait for him to speak with a knowing and fond smile. The coldness of the drink did nothing against the scorch of its essence, and more so your being etched in him. It drags so heavy in his mind. Every fiber, down to the littlest of nerves. It's so good.

Nanami looks down at his now empty glass, tightening his fingers around it as he sees them tremble. The burn in his throat there as he speaks. "She's....the one." God, even his lips were shaky. "She's her. Everything."

He laid down his glass on the table, exhaling gently as deeply from his mouth—the weight in his chest not changing nonetheless. And when he sits back, looking to his friends again, the silence with the three of them so heard; Gojo and Geto had such loving smiles on their faces.

Nanami uncontrollably laughs a breathless smile as he looks down. He was blinding. Ever in awe they were; Gojo had remove his glasses, letting his bared eyes admire his friend, with Geto sliding his palm up on his mouth, tears threatening to seep from the revelation.

They were so happy.

And he still is if not even so much more. Never mind the heated situation you were both in the moment. Nanami, with his other hand from your stomach slowly went to him and up to his chest, all while he held your other and laid it upon his chest.

Your eyes opened when he does, the pound of his heart hitting against your palm, echoing against your own. When you looked at his eyes, you almost gasped—the fingers laying on his chest suddenly twitching. Every little thing, he catches.

Such things he never thought he'd be doing, much less feel—yet there he is; declaring what he was beginning to yearn for. Offering his heart. "For you" You could have cried right then and there. "If you'll have me." He murmured, tangling your fingers together while he keeps you feeling his heart beat.

And with your tears spilling out after all, there comes yourself surrending to the currents.

If you'd have daydreamt of this kind of moment before, you would have laughed in the absurdity of it all.

And you were, but not alone. There you were laughing in breathless tears with him, basking in the love you were both making of your bodies in his office.

Nanami stays in his paradise.

[thatdeadaquarius]

hi! quick tip: if you’re on mobile type ‘:readmore:’ then hit enter! i dunno if you’ve been told but. yeah :)

also, your recent piece on apd was incredible!! very nice to see representation!! keep up the excellent work <3 it did get me thinking though: reader with vocal stims, cementing it in the acolytes’ minds that you don’t speak the language of teyvat, and then you’re all just stuck in this loop of “oh man they don’t speak the same language of me” but they DO

if asks are closed or this is outside of your comfort zone then feel free to delete! have a lovely day <3

AHFJLAKLOSUDBABWB U FELT REPRESENTED YAY!!

A cookie for thee, and also extra for telling me how to do Expand thingy on mobile ilysm 🤲🍩🍪✨️ (pspspsps all askers,, u get cookies,,cometothedarksidepspspspspsss)

I was so worried bc it wasnt like super all the aspects of Apd issues, and it was very based on my personal experience w/ similar symptoms + other bits of ppl's experience so i was hoping it still felt somewhat recognizable for ppl w/APD!! Tysm for the feedback :D

NOTE ABOUT VOCAL STIM DEPICTED:

So i think ive experienced verbal stims, so this is a combination of others shared experiences + personal experience, and while everybody experiences things individually/their own way, please let me know if there is something obviously inaccurate/maybe even offensive.

You will definitely not make me mad or otherwise offended, I really want to hear that kind of feedback from others who vocal stim!

Thank you so much for reading! :)

___________________♡_____________________

So lets just say that ur vocal stims r pretty non-verbal or non-sensical ("her sister was a WITCH BRO-" like memes that dont make sense to them)

Or like, u have verbal stims that r actual language but they dont hang around long enough to hear it maybe ??

♤

So like, this ends up happening

Chongyun was exploring near Qingce village for supernatural stuff as usual

And U were just vibin, chillin near Qingce village livin ur best Creator god cottagecore life

And ur like planting a new seedbed, Jueyun Chilis :) (bc jfc however bad it was to collect them in game, its 10x worse in person, ur tired of running around town getting chilis, Qingce isnt exactly flat 💀)

♡

And every seed u put in the dirt ur like "boop!"

And Chongyun comes by, bc u at edge of town, and the villagers mentioned a strange new traveler settling here

He immediately feels a wave of that same feeling he used to feel when the Creator god had their eyes on him, or would assist him in battles

So poor boy almost overheats trying to climb up the hill to ur house

And is like "??...Creator??"

Then kinda stops bc ur just like-

"Boop!" "Boop!" "Boop!" ☺️ LMAO

And then u finish planting seeds, get the watering can,,

And everytime u pour it just-

... "EJACK! Come, water!"

(Ur saying it so fast too, and he's still somewhat farther away, so he cant rlly hear that well too)

...

..

And its just so incomprehensible to Chongyun he's deadass like "A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE??!"

So of course,

He waves, 👋

And ur like omg icy boy!! :D 🧊💙

But u dont say anything yet, and then he starts,, miming?? He points at u? Then like?? Points up? The sky?? Then like, mimes swinging his claymore???

(ARE U THE CREATOR??!!)

U look up, very confused 🧐

He seemes frustrated.

Then he just kinda, bows and leaves?

...

...oh no.

Do Teyvat people speak that crazy language that u saw in game?

Instead of English??

Well.

Shit.

...

.... U havent rlly talked to anyone in Qingce yet since u just got here in Teyvat like a week ago

And found this abandoned house

♧

It just gets worse 😭

Bc slowly, one by one,

Each playable character in Liyue comes to attempt to talk to you

(And since u have a farm, and they keep giving u food/goods? For some reason?? U still dont need to go into town)

☆

At one point, even Zhongli shows up

And thru complex miming and hand motions u think he means dont worry abt him? Like just go back to what u were doing?? Okay??

U guess he's just gonna chill here for now?

...

...Zhongli just kinda,, squints, and puts his hand on his chin in his classic "thinking very hard" face

So ur tending to the garden saying,

" FREDDY! You're supposed to be on lockdown!Vanessa...I'm... a Material Gworl✨️"💀

...Just, on an endless loop LMAO-

...

(Hes trying to see if he recognizes any part of ur language, poor old man 🤔🤔😭)

♤

And it just snowballs even more, and now,

None of you have even tried to say a word to each other. 🤡

(Other than ur vocal stims)

...

Keqing: "Perhaps, it's similar to Fontaine's native language?"

You, in the background: "🎵 dUdE,,, sHe'S jUsT nOt InTo YoU 🎵" (mimicking the autotune and everything)

Ganyu & Keqing: "..."

You: " 🎵 gOtTa MoVe On, mOvE oN-🎵 Hurricane Katrina?? More like Hurricane Tortilla!"

Ganyu & Keqing: "...Can't be,"

"what else do we got? Should we call Yunjin to better mime for us??"

♡

Xiao's the first one to even get close to knowing u can actually talk to each other, bc he's always checking in on u most often <3

And he only heard u bc u swore u heard a monster outside ur house one night and came out ur house with a pitchfork, very nervous,

"...Hey there demons.. it's me.. ya boy."

(And u just keep stimming that out of nervousness to make urself feel better as u check around ur house lol)

Xiao: "??? Demons???!! WAIT-"

♧

By then, it literally took like 6 months for yall to finally have a real conversation 💀💀

...

(Chongyun got so embarassed bc he was one of the first few to misunderstand he overheated rip🙏)

Im. So. Sorry. This. Is. ✨️Ass✨️

Twas the best scenario i could come up with, im telling yall, im not as funny as the ppl who send in these asks 😔

Keep in mind, I never claimed i was funny or a good writer, u cant hold it against me lol /lh

Lower ur expectations LMAO

Well i hope u got sm enjoyment outta this anon, sorry abt the quality!! :)

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

[bonesandthebees]

im alive (questionable) and im finally back (real) and gods does it feel great to finally read the new rose chapter

I did NOT realise just how MUCH I missed it but DAMN

the crimeboys bonding is going great and theyre doing good in their surviving, im so proud of them

poor phil has to deal with the one thing he cannot control and so he ofc focuses on what he can control, control freak

im enjoying reading about him A LOT, hes so intriguing to me, like yeah so far hes a good character id say, but we get a peak at what he could be capable of and are slowly learning where his priorities and loyalties and limits lie and oh gosh is it fun to watch

and ofc THE BIG MOMENT OF THE CHAPTER: friendly nicknames privileges

and like its a really important and sweet moment in itself and ive been excited for it ever since learning there will be different official names like nikanna and willum and oh did it NOT DISAPPOINT like yesssssss letsgo they are FRIENDS and they let the other call them by their NICKNAMES and it shows how much CLOSER to got and the TRUST and just AHSHSHJSDHBSBSHS YESSSSSSS

and it gets even BETTER bc thats not all, this is a recurring theme with you, whether its a fae name that carries power, a mermaid name that signals family like in last years mermay, knowing a name that reveals the secret identity in superhero aus coming with trust but also responsibility, official and personal names of royals like rose and stars showing friendship or in the other way loss of it, and in glass the reclaiming of self identity thru the reclaiming of name and letting go of a title (which btw the coolest and most genius work with narration ive ever read) you just keep on giving names value in your stories and especially the act of sharing them, the one close to you, with others as a sign of love, even just a little bit and it gets me EVERY SINGLE TIME and the fact its a recurring theme gives it even more meaning, makes it get to me even more

and like its something that happens even in real life in some ways but we often overlook just how much love is hidden in it and I love that it gets to shine like this in your stories

I know we talked about your love for giving names more meaning like this before but I just needed to scream about it again bc IT STILL GETS TO ME

it feels so good to have you back in my inbox (and my ao3 comments) with walls of text like this jiksvokrat

they're doing shockingly well!! shoutout to tommy's survival knowledge wilbur would've been dead by morning without him

I'm so glad you're enjoying the phil pov. I love showing his control issues and how his mind works. he's such a calculating character and I have so much fun writing him

I'm so glad you like my recurring thing with names. I really don't know where it came from, I never had this whole thing with names before I started writing mcyt fic. I think I just really liked it both when I wrote that first fae au fic so many years ago and then when I was writing clinic and there was obviously the whole secret identity thing going on that I just realized I liked the theme and decided to use it where I could.

I just think the act of sharing your name, your identity with someone else can be so vulnerable and full of trust!! I guess this translates to every day stuff as well. like when one of my childhood friends came out as trans to me I felt so happy when she trusted me with her new name and identity (I was one of the first people she came out to). or as a less intense example, part of why I like having an online nickname is that it feels strangely nice to have a name that you guys here can use that's me but also a bit separate from me, but then I have my real name which is reserved for the people I'm closest to (though of course most of my internet friends who know my real name still use bee for me which I don't mind at all). I guess it's kind of like having a public persona vs a private persona. idk, I guess I just really feel the importance of names so I like including it as a theme in my writing.

I'm just very glad you guys aren't getting sick of the whole name giving thing yet lol

[ofmermaidstories]

[im very invested in your oc hana, idkk if any of this makes sense, feel free to ignore]

on my first read thru of your story, her betrayal was nowhere near as impactful to me as it is now. i was blinded by the grandeur of pro heroes being so powerful yet oh so human, and by a selfish, insecure, and very human artist. thus i glanced over one of the most realistic charcters. hana is the epitome of a slippery slope that is being human, so many of us claim to know that we will never tumble, that we will never become the monster, after all its always us versus them. the thing is, we could all be them. we're all capable of selling our identity to society and ignoring that, or worse, denying that notion just emphasizes our susceptibility to being the next victim. it took me a while to figure that out, but once i did i realized how much i could understand why hana went the way she did, and i just began to see how she couldve started to fall (how any of us couldve fallen). it all started with little hisae (what a steep cliff that is). but in hanas eyes, in her mind, its so much easier to blame the heroes, to blame society than to blame the unyielding circumstances that she (and everyone else in japan) found themselves in. just imagining the thought process hana must of gone thru is so devastating. going from regular thoughts of grief and self-blame to slowly becoming more desperate in your search for both answers and justice:

"how did no one see her?", "why did no one save her?", "what if i had stayed in the shelter?", "what if someone had noticed sooner?" and so on, and so forth until hana would finally come to the conclusion "whats the point of heroes?"

then fin, your morals and beliefs are forever changed. the juxtaposition bw hana and hisaes death vs scribbles and hanas death i feel like also highlights how we can all become a monster, we just have to decide not to. at the end of the day, its just like uncle hideyo said. our loved ones have the same duty to us as we do to them. hana had a decision to make - she had multiple decisions to make - and she made hers, so now we must make ours.

anywayss, i just wanted to appreciate your ocs, theyre some of the best ive had the pleasure to get to know, and hana, hideyo, miki, hitomu and yua will always have a special place in my heart (and hikoboshi [rip :(] plus tobi cant forget them) <3

ps if you have any notes/tidbits youve been wanting to share about your oc i would love to hear them

people are a lot more selfish than they tend to give themselves credit for! grief is just a surefire way to illuminate that. and for hana, like you so thoughtfully point out, it’s a slippery slope. 🥺 radicalisation is so easy when there’s pain involved and none of us are the same, none of us will deal with it the same way. and with the world that Horikoshi’s created in My Hero, the power imbalance is so like, obvious and literal lmao. Look at Shigaraki’s pain, and how that was used against him. Spinner’s. Dabi’s and Toga’s! Twice!! it’s not a stretch to imagine ordinary civilians with like, nominal quirks or whatever, seeing that struggle between the villains and the pros and then similarly being affected by it—wanting to fight against that. and then that fight being perverted by assholes with crueller agendas. :/

and like, even then, though? you’re right. hana had choices to make, and she made the wrong ones. she knew what she was doing was wrong. the same woman that was smuggling in nail polish for a captive kid was helping another mail like, photocards. of course she knew; you see the drop even when you’re sliding down that cliff-face, i guess. and we never get this in the fic because the point-of-view never allows it, but i do think hana’s internal justification for staying with the group, for being apart of imprisoning those kids was that it was going to happen with or without her, that by being apart of it she could mitigate the horror somehow. of course, the tragedy is that she still perpetuates it by being there—because she’s selfish. selfish and scared (she knows she’s not walking away from it) but still selfish (at the heart of it she’s still that grieving, angry teenager. she still wants revenge against the pro heroes who weren’t there. and being apart of the gala attack gives her that, and she has to ignore the bruises on Yua’s arms or the resentment of some streetkid? Then whatever. Hisae’s body was unrecongisable, afterwards).

maybe more support as a teenager, afterwards, would have given an hana the ability to transmute her anger. maybe uncle could have done something more in regards to like, trying to press charges or otherwise seeking justice. maybe scribbles could have noticed, should have noticed, the cracks. but none of that happened. you can’t play could’ve, should’ve, would’ve when it comes to other people’s choices, because they still choose. scribbles—and uncle, even—are fundamentally different people to hana. they choose differently! we chose differently, in the end.

for hana and for scribbles both, their grief is about survival (all grief is, which is why all grief is selfish). scribbles—us, we—needs other people. so much of something is people like, reaching out to scribbles (to us). so when it all hits the fan that’s what our little self-insert needs more of: other people who choose to stay. and that in turn gets scribbles to a place where like, they can help other people in turn (uncle, hitomu, miki, tobi). hana by contrast rejects everyone, because she felt abandoned. you can’t change things now; you can only do better for the people in your life going forward. so much of healing is learning that.

thank-you for reading, anon. 🥺 i’m so grateful you liked the gang. 😭 being human—and being loved, even by a perfect superhero—means knowing and being surrounded by others who have their own lives, beyond your story. something needed it’s little cast. 🥹 deku and scribbles are empty puppets without the people they love (or are hurt by) beyond each other. and the fun of doing a series is that they’re not limited to their own stories. hitomu pops up, in shouto’s fic! and hana’s presense drifts in and out—rippling out with those choices she made. a ghost along the riverbank, following the current of a story she’s no longer apart of, i guess. 🥹

[awrkive]

hi dee! this is gonna be such a long message and i hope u read the entirety when you got time ♥️ english is not my first language so im sorry if this is not exactly cohesive.

ive been reading ffs since since 2017 and i really feel u came right out of the 2017-2020 era of bts x reader fanfic community bcs the way u write makes me reminisce about those times. idk if this is just me being picky, but i feel like fics nowadays are focusing too much on the smutty parts instead of actually building a world around their characters. and i dont usually mind smut or pwp fics, i enjoy them time to time. but the problem with it is that it's honestly all i ever see now, esp with jungkook fics.

it feels like no one really wants to write a proper fanfic anymore? some of my fave x reader authors before here are gukyi, vankoya, btsmeetsweevil, kpopfanfictrash, fortunexkookie, prolixitae and many more that i cant really name anymore – all of which have deactivated or inactive now – and one thing about them was that as much as they wrote smut, there was actually more to their stories.

and that is honestly what i feel about your writing. its so simple but so profound in a way? like its so easily digestible but the simplicity of it does not exactly equate to plainness? i feel like the trend of writing pwp is to gain more traction (which was also a trend back then, but not to the point of overpowering) but i love that you dont exactly succumb to that and instead take time to build the world of ur characters in such a way that makes me feel so connected to them.

i just LOVEE how u create these backstory for ur main leads. like with nb, we are witnessing two strangers getting along with each other slowly but surely, and with tlp, we are witnessing two best friends navigating a crucial point in their lives relating to romance between them. and the YEARNING, the LONGING, and just the TENSION that you make me feel with those? its just so incredibly insane. the giddiness of it all – you dont get that from fics who just go straight right into sex.

and i know its just fanfiction and its not supposed to be that deep, but tbh fanfic is just as much of a form of art as other "published books" – esp when theyre written so well like yours.

i apologize if this is coming off as a rant at this point. i think im just frustrated with the lack of creativity im seeing nowadays with bts fanfics all over tumblr thru ao3, and ig im just frustrated that i cant bring back the golden era of 2017-2019 (or 2020 if u will) anymore for fanfics. but thank you so much for reviving that feeling for me♥️ i also know youre busy with college and all that, and im really really greatful you lend time to share ur writing with us all for free ♥️ i really adore your talent!! i hope u write for a long time ♥️♥️

- 🌱

this has been sitting on my inbox for the past three days and ive honestly just been rereading and rereading this over and over again because im so incredibly touched?

i agree that 2017-2020 was the best era for x reader bts ff esp 2018. writers were really putting in the work, and i just love how you mentioned all those lovely people. miss guyi (gukyi), miss ivory (vankoya), and miss lu (prolixitae) were some of my favorite blogs here EVER and they wrote some of the best fanfics in my life that i still read over and over again up to this time. they were literally a few of my inspo to also write fanfic on my own – and im so glad u think that my writing can make u feel like the way u do when u read theirs, bcs that means a whole lot to me!!

the bts fanfic community has truly changed for the past few years. prob cos the fandom has grown bigger overtime and things will just never be the same as they were before. its a huge factor that the great ff writers before are busy with their adult lives now and even if i myself am not really that much into reading ffs anymore these days, i still believe we'll pick up being better on the oncoming years!!

and lastly ur english is great and thank you so Freaking MUCH for sending this in. i truly am so moved and touched by this message 🥹 i hope u are having a great day wherever u are 🌱 anon!!

[orcelito]

Current persona manga collection 👍

I decided to get the 3rd volume of mementos mission and the 9th volume of the p5 manga since I have a Bit of free spending money now. It makes me very happy to have a growing collection 😊

[simp4konig]

Hii! So I’m new in the Call of Duty fandom but I don’t play the games like on the ps5, etc… I only play Call of Duty on my phone and I got addicted and began digging deeper so here I am! Since I don’t/can’t play the different games of cod do you recommend any channels on youtube that does an amazing walkthrough of the games? I really really want to watch some walkthroughs but I don’t know whats the order of watching each game?? Does each game connect to each other? I’m still kind of confused since I’m still new😅😅. I’m sorry to disturb you though but I hope you can help me😭

To summarise before I go on a useless tangent and ramble needlessly, here are short answers for your questions:

Yes, the games are related. Modern Warfare 1+2+3 are chronological, and are the same story with the same characters. Similarly, it is widely believed that the Black Ops series + Cold War take place in the same timeline as Modern Warfare. I know for certain that Cold War is connected to MWI+II+III because Captain Price is a playable character in multiplayer, and the Black Ops series mention the same villains.

There is no particular chronological order in terms of a greater narrative, however, if you want to understand the story of Modern Warfare, watch walkthroughs of MWI, MWII, and finally MWIII. Black Ops has its own series so if you want to watch those too, you can, however you won't be missing major plot points in Modern Warfare if you choose not to. Cold War is in the same timeline as Modern Warfare, but you won't be missing major plot points in Modern Warfare either if you choose not to.

My advice: Watch game walkthroughs (I would recommend at least once, even in 2x speed, just so you know the general gist of the lore).

Watch COD compilations (trust me, there's LOADS) that are 10–20 mins long, and feature the most iconic scenes in the game back-to-back so you aren't missing anything

Dont resd this if you dont want to!!!vvv it's long and its just me sympathising with you becsude im in the same situation 💀💀... Vvvvvvv

... LMAO IM THE WORWT PERWON TO ASK BECUASE I CANT PLAY THE GAMES EITHER DJDJDJDJDJSJSJSJSJJSJS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Played MW and MWII, theold versions only💔And i DONT hsve a PS5 EITHER so i csnt play the remasyers/reimagines, neithet can my parents justify buying the games just to hage a 100gb game on our PS4😫😫 were in this together anon,... 😓

I mostly have been going on youtube and tyoing out "MW 2019 walkthrough" and "MW2 2022 walkthrough" to see wheyher the plot has chsnged so i can keep up to daye and understand whay the fandom is on about !! Since ive plaued the older remasters , i watch these in like 1.75 speed or even just skip parts bc i already kniw what's gonna haooen mostly 😙✌️ but any scenes that im like "WOAH wtf is this i dint rmeebrt this happening🤨" I watch them 10–20min compilations of certain charwcyer moments 😌 Because i honestlu do NOT hsve the time to watch a whole ass 9–12h video in multiple sittings, i have homework and studyijg to be doing‼️‼️

And fir my headcannond/fanfictions , "[insert character here] voicelines" so i can understand the characyer thru their voicelines (like König and Krueger), as well as seeing their skins and backstories on theit respevtive wikis, googling their respectivr countries, ajd builfing my vision of these by also reading OTHER people's headcannons/fanfictions !! If you were to resd my oldest works, youd see thay my König was the fanon König, but as ivr gotten more used to writing him and changing my perception of his character+personality, you can tell how how i write for him has slowly developed 🙌

i feel like a hypocritetelling u to watch MWIII tho because neitjer have i plaued it NOR watched a walkthru bc my fav characters DIE and i dont wanna put myself thru that just yet😇 obviously, with MWIII remaster here, i think ill hage to soon ....

Im honoufed u chode yo ask ME of sll people !!☺️❤️❤️❤️... So im sorfy i couldnt be more useful ☹️💔💔💔

[sillyflipping]

DXM 180mg hbr + weed trip report

8:10 PM: packed a bowl and smoked it. around this time, also hit the pen a few times, and a couple hits of nic vape

10:30 PM: Took 180mg DXM hbr in the form of 12 gelcaps, 15mg each. They were a generic store pharmacy brand of gelcaps, but I made sure to get the kind that contained only dxm and no other active ingredients. If you’re going to do dxm, don’t do it if there’s acetamenophin or guafinesin in whatever you’re taking because it can actually kill you, and it is not pleasant to OD on acetamenophin. Before taking the dxm I took one pill of otc dramamine to combat any nausea. The amount I took should get me to a high first plat, *maybe* a low second plat, or at least so says the dosage calculators. I’ve not done much Hbr in my past, I usually used to do freebase pills and occasionally poli (Delysm). I hadn’t done dxm in over a year now, I know it caused me a bunch of problems in my past, but for some reason lately this past week I’d just been craving it for some reason. Honestly in the past few days I’d just been fiending to get fucked up. And now, I’ve finally done it, i’ve taken my first-second plat dose and I’m waiting for it to kick in. I will try and update every hour. Also note I’ve never combined dxm and weed before, so will see if it’s any different. Also If I end up falling asleep will continue to update in the morning or whenever I wake up.

11:30 PM: Don’t notice any signifigant effects. Bit of a headache. Am lying in bed was watching some youtube videos.

12:00 AM head pounding a bit but it’s not intese pain. Just kind of a headache a bit dizzy/disoreinted bit spinny rooms spinny

12:40 AM head hurts, dizzy. This isn’t like the previous times i’ve done dxm, it’s not kickin in as hard, though to be fair I used to do freebase at higher doses and at that time I was also on abilify and lithium. Gonna try and lie down close my eyes cuz my head hurts

3am: wakw up tripping can barely type tbis. CEV’s and body heavy, dizzy visual snow room spinning. mild nausea. Feel like am on low second plat Obviously no ones awake cuz its 3am and idk

3:22 AM: I realize i mustve slept thru the peak of the trip as it’s 3am. I don’t mnow if i ever slept or if ive just been laying here in my own head my thoughts are blunted and despite the dozziness nausea and weird statitc snow visuals, it’s working to makw me not fee emotions. still tripping. hard to type

I cant belive i used to be such a dexhead that id go places like id go grocery shopping w frens back in college while off the dxm. Cant belsiwv it. This shit sucks theres way better drugs oit there this aint it

Dont really feel that cold but am shaking shivering

4am: texted a friend who was up at this hour, probably not about anytning super important. im still in the dextroverse but i think maybe im slowly comin down. There’s still visual snow and a jelly-like state about the air and atmosphere around me. I took like a 2nd plat dose and I’ll edit this trip report for more coherency and grammar once am sober

Dxm is bad trips not mentally. Mentally its pretty good but the body high is awful. Dizy and nausea spinning

4:23am: read some online calvin and hobbes comics. i never read those as a kid before but i feel like i can really understand them better somehow while trippin

4:43am: The comedown is the best part, honestly.

5AM: Still tripping, coming down. Compared to the overwhelming love and joy of a (good) mushroom trip, and compared to the depression and lonelieness i feel in my daily life, this is kinda true neutral. i feel nothing, numb. slighly optimistic tho. dont feel depressed atm. dont feel happy either.

5:40 AM: slowwwlllyyyyyy coming down. i try eating a couple spicy chips (carolina realer cheeto) to see if i can still taste, as sense of taste is often greatly diminished on dxm. The cheetos taste bland, and i feel the heat of the spice but no flavor. Sad.

6AM: less dizzy. head hurts less but still barely hurts a little bit just mildly annoying. The room stopped spinning. Am chillin on the couch, no one else awake yet

7AM: don’t think i’m still tripping, i feel a bit faded but it might be the afterglow or just general me being zooted. The sun is rising

1PM : pupils finally went back to normal size

Thoughts: Dxm fucking sucks. I felt a weird emotion that felt like how a chemical smells. Weird and numb and unable to feel anything. Awful body load. Why would you ever do dxm if you can do anything else. Nostalgia is a liar

[s-mosh]

Hi! If you feel like it, List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers

This is the first time i'm ever getting one of these so i'm doing it and i'm gonna love every second of it okay lets go

my dog. I have a 3 y/o Rottweiler named Frenkie and we train for at least 11 hours every week. This dog is definitely the best thing in my life rn

music. i love daydreaming to a soundtrack. Also i've been exclusively listening to one directions full discography during car rides and its honestly been so fun

books! i have a problem where i buy books and never read them because i have to write my thesis and i get procrastinators guilt. So everytime i read i get anxious because i feel like i have to spend my time better. BUT ive been ending my nights by reading in bed instead of mindlessly scrolling and im loving that a lot.

escaperooms. ive been slowly forcing all my friends and family to do escaperooms with me and its been so fun.

my nails! i'm actually not allowed acrylics at my job but other people have them and no ones said anything so i decided to get my nails done again and theyve been giving me such joy. im just clickity clacking my way thru life again

Thank you for sending this to me @feral-teeth you're very cute

[1eos]

hello ms kendra! first off just wanted to say i hope you're doing well and i love your blog theme. also that i hope only good things come to you and those you love 💗

i don't know if you feel comfortable sharing, so please don't worry if you don't want to answer, but how did you know you were a lesbian? sorry if this seems out of the blue ahfjfkal but i've been kind of questioning myself lately and i trust your thoughts and opinions and i was just... looking for some thoughts/feelings i guess? once again please don't feel pressured to answer. thank you for reading 💗 have a sexy day ms leos!

omg its not too much at all 😭😭😭 how i realized i was a lesbian was obvious in retrospect but i was surrounded by so much comphet i didnt realize it was an option until one day i was like ohhhhhhh i can just like women lol

anyways when i was a kid i felt a bit left out bc ive always been a girls girl and only rarely found boys worth hanging out with but when all my girl friends were starting to be boy crazy i just had. no interest. none at all. when i was in elementary school the one boy everyone liked he did nothing for me but i started to fantasize abt him liking me so all the GIRLS would like me 😭😭😭 like i said obvious

but it didnt click bc i had crushes on 2 guys. one was gay so 😶😂 LOL and for a while i was like so im not gay bc i liked 2 guys but then i realized those 'crushes' were just how i am with ppl i like and want to be friends with. this all encompassing desire to be with them 24/7. i didnt want to do anything w my friends i just wanted to but stuck on them and im the same way to this day just toned down (scorpio vedic moon)

and then i started having intense and tumultuous friendships with other girls who similarly didn't like boys at all. and i would be consumed in wanting to be with her all the time and got jealous. it was how i was w close friends but even more intense bc it tended to be mutual. YOU KNOW HOW IT GOES. like i was in a toxic lesbian not relationship in middle school looking back

and then in high school when my mom left me alone at home i would runnnnn to the dvd player and rewatch the sex scene in monster's ball bc halle berry was topless 😭😭😭 i was kinda obsessed w sex but again had NO interest in the men? and if boys approached me irl i would just be like 🧍🏾‍♀️ what the hell did u want. and i was learning that u can be other things than just straight so even tho i was fucking sneaking away at my grandma house (we didnt have internet at our house) to scroll thru playboy and look at pics of half-naked WOMEN bc i didn't want to be desired by men i was like 'ohhhh ok so im asexual'

I WAS SO CLOSE TO THE TRUTH but comphet was fucking beating my ass bruh. andddd in college i branched out started meeting more girls like me (black and gay) and i was like oh ok. so im NOT abnormal there are ppl like me. met more men still didnt want to do anything w them. met more girls i wanted to fucking build a house with after geeking out after dragon age once. anyways i got a girlfriend...sophomore year and magically turned from sexless nun to disgusting horny beast and also i met this very sexy butch girl who i wanted to [redacted] so bad and wouldve if not for girl code. and it finally clicked that girls just do it for me 😭😭😭😭severely. all the romance and sex things i was all ick abt fell into place bc i finally beat the comphet. ofc i found sex disgusting bc i didnt like men and it put alllllllllllllll previous relationships into perspective

so for me what helped was to just not try to force myself into any label or worry oh what if im actually this or that? i just lived my life liked who i liked and slowly the reality that i want girls to [redacted entry] me very nastily fell into place!

and thank you so muchhhhh wishing good things on you too. good things and clarity 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰