#ive been getting into hot drinks :) cozy

[werewolf-artfriend]

hot chocodile !!

[ozzgin]

Yandere! Yakuza x Reader (IV)

Happy Holidays! Remember your plans to visit friends and family back in your home country? Scratch that. The Yakuza men have other ideas for you in this cozy Christmas special. And you finally get to meet their fearsome Boss, who has a request for you.

Content: female reader, fluff

[Part 3] | [Part 5] | [Yakuza Masterlist]

You stare at your phone in disbelief, rereading each line and hoping you've misunderstood the kanji. Daitou and Kazuya are quietly frowning behind you, unsure how to help in such a situation. Their lack of response only confirms it.

The brief paragraph is written in bold, red font: Due to weather conditions, all flights are cancelled until further notice. Passengers have been refunded and will need to repurchase their tickets at first convenience.

One glimpse at the last-minute prices and you're certain of it: you won't be going home for Christmas. You slouch and sigh, somewhat at peace with the idea. What else can you do? You might as well get yourself a KFC bucket and stare at the holiday lights in the city center. You and the couples taking cheesy Christmas selfies, who will later wonder about the gloomy loner behind them philosophically crunching on spicy wings.

"Don't look so defeated, (Y/N). You can just spend that time with us instead. We're not such terrible company, are we?" Kazuya jokes, trying to cheer you up.

"We could even go on a trip around New Year."

Your eyes light up in anticipation, the sadness vanishing almost instantly. 

"Can we go to one of those hot spring inns? I've always wanted to visit an onsen." You put your hands together pleadingly. 

"Whoa! Take me out to dinner first if you're that eager to see me naked." The blonde man winks at you smugly. 

"How would I see you naked? The baths are separated, aren't they?" You inquire. 

"We can't go to the regular ones." Daitou pulls his collar slightly downwards, revealing a fragment of his traditional tattoos. True. A yakuza would never be allowed among the civilians. "We'd have to book a private bath, so there wouldn't be anyone else."

You blush at the prospect of being alone with the two men. Kazuya notices your nervousness and is about to continue his teasing, but Daitou speaks before him, unbothered and oblivious:

"Besides, you've already seen me naked. I can tell you Kazuya doesn't look much different. There's nothing to be shy about."

The blonde man can only gawk, taken aback, and you shove Daitou in a flustered panic, fumbling to find an excuse or a change of subject.

He didn't have to make your business public like that, or he could've at least announced it without you being present. Judging by the blonde's speechless reaction, you're guessing he hasn't been told about your sneaky office smooching that led to the occasional sleepover. If you think about it, there's nothing shameful about being intimate with your boyfriend, but...It's not something you're fully accustomed to yet.

As promised, after the coworker incident you were soon greeted with a job offer in the neighborhood. When you went to your old office to discuss the mandatory year contract, the managers nervously handed you an approval for resignation and refused to discuss any details. You were free to go, no penalty or obligation. They had a fearful demeanor and you hoped Daitou didn't dismember anyone involved. Regardless of his means, you were now at the liberty to pursue other careers.

On the other hand, you were rather anxious about your new workplace. You had flashing visions of drug cartels and gambling parlors, with thugs rattling their drinks at you and demanding proper service. Windows breaking and masked men rolling onto the floor, armed to the brim. Ginza hostesses scurrying behind you and asking for help against an angered client. The night before your first day, you restlessly shuffled in your bed, plagued by second thoughts. What could you possibly do for the yakuza? What ghoulish demands would they prepare for you?

Daitou was the one to accompany you in the morning. He showed you to your desk, and you could discern the blurred frames of people angrily discussing matters in the opposing meeting room, separated by a large window. You gulped.

"They're building a new apartment complex two streets down." Your boyfriend mentioned casually, helping you settle with your belongings. 

"Huh?"

"Oh, sorry, I thought you were curious about their talk."

"I mean, I am, but...Is that it?" You gazed at him incredulously. 

"What else? This is a real estate office. Upstairs is the stock investments."

"Oh...Oh...I thought..." You were a little embarrassed. The imaginary scenarios of bloody battles and crimes that kept you awake felt quite ridiculous now.

Daitou seemed to have picked up on your assumptions, because he chuckled and ruffled your hair, following with an explanation. 

"Boss is very strict with our Ninkyo-Do. If you're caught with drugs or petty theft, you're excommunicated. We used to have a bunch of gambling casinos as main income, but nowadays there's too much pressure from the police, ya know? Half of our members aren't even officially registered with the Yakuza, so they can't be tracked. We mostly do stocks and real estate. That's where the cash is. 

Heh. Kinda boring, ain't it? I'm afraid you showed up way after the golden times. Even I'm too young for it. If ya want, I can ask one of the retired seniors to tell you about it. He has a lot of great stories."

You held your tongue from bringing up his frequent killing sprees and just nodded, amused by the fact that his code of conduct didn't register human casualties as wrong. The Yakuza have strict rules of ethics that set them apart from regular mafia. Depending on the Oyabun, or Head of the Family, this chivalrous way of living is reinforced to all members or conveniently swept under the rug. Daitou's Boss seemed to fit in the former category. 

Therefore your "office job" turned out to be an actual office job without the quotes. Although you were often reminded the people passing by weren't your regular salarymen. Many of them were entirely transparent with you, striking up conversations about their latest arrest, or complaining about the poor quality of their pinky finger prosthetic they'd ordered from the Philippines. 

But this isn't the time to reminisce. The prolonged silence is unbearable and one could fry eggs on your hot, burning cheeks. Kazuya is the one to break the awkwardness. 

"Oh, yeah...You coming to the Christmas thing this evening?"

"We'll be there." Daitou smiles innocently, unaware of the discomfort he just caused.

Kazuya raises his eyebrows in surprise and looks at you.

"Did you...?"

"Yup. It's all fine." The dark haired man nods reassuringly. 

"Then I'll see you at dinner, little (Y/N). Don't catch a fever with all that steam blowing out of you." He laughs at your still baffled expression and places his large hand on your head, departing.

Daitou holds the door open for you and you hurry inside. As you both walk down the hallway of the luxurious restaurant, you can't help the nagging feeling that he's once again omitted some vital information. 

"Can you tell me again who else is coming? Just Kazuya?"

"Oh no, it's a Family meeting. So Boss and the rest of the Seniors, too."

You gasp in horror, but before you can scold him, you find yourself behind the canvas screen divider, facing a table of older men in suits, holding their drinks and eyeing you suspiciously. 

"Oi, who the fuck is this, Daitou?" one of them growls. 

"I already told you before, (Y/N). My girlfriend."

"Huh? Did you seriously just bring a civvy to our meeting? I knew you got a loose screw, boy, but this tops it all."

Daitou frowns and steps in front of you, visibly annoyed. 

"If ya got a problem with my woman being here, I can settle it for you, old man. When was the last time you fought someone?"

"'s that supposed to mean?"

"It means you've gotten too comfortable sitting up there and barking orders. Let me remind you why they leave the killings to me."

The thick tension in the air is quickly dispersed by a loud, relaxed laugh. At the end of the table, a heavily scarred man with grey hair is clapping his hands in delight, seemingly amused by the events unfolding. He glances at you and pats a cushioned seat to his right. 

"There you are! Come join us, miss (Y/N). Ignore those rusty grumps, they ain't seen a woman outside a host club." He throws the instigator a brief glare. "Is that any way to talk to my guest, Oota?"

The man swallows dryly and mutters an apology. He goes back to his drink, preoccupied, and the rest follow suit. 

You hesitantly kneel down to your designated place, sheepishly peeking at the mysterious figure. Could it be? As if reading your mind, Daitou places an encouraging hand on your waist and lowers his head to your ear, swiftly whispering "that's Boss" before going to greet the others at the table. 

"I-it's a pleasure meeting you, Sir." You mumble nervously.

"No no, pleasure is all mine. I'm Eiji Ijichi, 8th Head of our Family." 

His introduction is unexpectedly warm and his easygoing way of speaking reminds you a lot of Daitou. The faintest grin threatens to appear, but you cover your mouth. With enough imagination, this could be the equivalent of meeting your in-laws. This is Daitou's family, after all. A criminally scary one, but nonetheless you've been welcomed with open arms.

"Do you drink?" The older man asks you, raising his porcelain cup.

"Naturally." You exclaim and lift your own cup enthusiastically. 

"Attagirl!"

As the night progresses, the men at the table are loosening up under the influence of expensive alcohol. Kazuya seems to be caught in a terribly involved conversation with Daitou and one of their Captains, gesturing dramatically and occasionally raising his tone. You notice your glass has once again been filled by the waitress and take another sip, satisfied with observing their fun from the sidelines. Boss has a similar approach, gazing nostalgically over the rowdy group of thugs.

He reaches for his pack of smokes and you scramble to pick up the lighter, politely bowing as you light up his cigarette. He smiles at your gesture. 

"I see Daitou's trained you already."

He ponders for a moment, gently blowing a cloud of smoke upwards. 

"You'll make a good wife."

"Excuse me?" You question, startled by his sudden remark. 

"It's hard to tell, but I'm getting pretty old myself." He snickers at his self made compliment. "Soon it'll be time to pick my successor. I have no children, unless you count that rascal I picked from the streets." He says as he tilts his chin towards Daitou. 

"I love him like my own kid, but I'm sure you noticed he's a little off. Everyone is terrified of him. You can't have a leader if everyone runs away from him, ya know? I was starting to get worried I'd work myself through retirement. Kazuya can only do so much!

Then he comes up to me grinning like an idiot. I thought, 'There it is. He finally lost it', but instead he asks me if I want to see a photo of his girlfriend. Girlfriend?! I was ready to witness some crusty body pillow, my hand was on the phone to call our Family doctor. He shows me a cute foreigner standing next to him. Now I'm pretty sure he's not smart enough to fake photos like that, so it must be the real deal. 'How the Devil did ya pull this one?' I asked him. Cause listen, I was rather handsome back in my day and I still wouldn't have been this lucky.

And would ya look at that, it's the miss that moved into our apartments! How's the living conditions, by the way? Everything going fine?"

You nod energetically.

"Good, good."

He crosses his arms and nods himself, satisfied. He turns to gaze at you intently, with a face you can't quite read.

"You gotta excuse a drunk old man for rambling so much. What I'm trying to say...well...

Take care of him when he becomes the 9th, will ya? If he has you, I'm sure he'll manage. But don't tell him I said that! You gotta keep them humble. See, that's a lesson for you too. If there's one person the Head of the Family bows to, that's his wife! But I doubt he'd let the power get to his head."

You both turn to Daitou. He just finished pouring more sake to his superior and notices your stare. He blushes slightly and waves, unsure why he's suddenly being observed. 

"I think so, too." You respond, waving back. 

How would that look on a CV? Ane-san of a Yakuza family. 

[ppnuggie]

　　　　　　MTMTE x gn reader

　　　　『　rodimus ,, ultra magnus ,, chromedome ,, rewind ,, megatron ,, whirl ,, tailgate ,, swerve ,, cyclonus ,, first aid ,, ratchet ,, drift ,, gender neutral reader 』

　　-> christmas on the lost light

　　— fluff ,, sfw ,, crack

　　— sorry i havent been uploading as much 😭💔 ive been busy with work and school ,, but im on christmas break so hopefully ill be able to get through the few requests i have sitting in my inbox rn and reopen requests :(( ima try to start uploading more now as much as i can ❤️ heres a little something for christmas though ! hope you all enjoy christmas this year <3

• it was natural for the bots aboard to be interested in human customs ,, having lived in a war most their life . death and violence were something they were quite used to experiencing ,, never really having the time to experience anything outside of the horrors of war itself .

• swerve was one of the few main bots that pestered you often about human holidays . cybertronians didn't celebrate much ,, unless they were a group of autobots who just gave some decepticons a what-for .

• then again ,, swerve usually asked many questions regarding things on earth and what humans do . sometimes you humored him ,, sometimes you told little lies ,, like if you clapped three times in a mall it would be a sign that a tiger was loose . it was quite fun to put silly nonsense in that processor of his at times .

• though when it came to christmas he would not leave you alone . whether you celebrated it or not ,, you still explained the custom in general to him . how old saint nicholas would mosey on down the chimney ,, eat the cookies and drink the milk left out for him ,, and leave presents under the tree lit well and adorned with ornaments .

• you even pulled up the santa tracker for swerve ,, showing him where santa would go and be ,, how on christmas eve he would be flying around with his reindeer and leave presents

• hearing all of this intrigued chromedome and rewind ,, as well as tailgate and whirl . cyclonus didn't understand the hype and belief of having an old random man leave gifts in your house and eat your food even if left out specifically him . tailgate was thrilled though ,, a funny little old man leaving him gifts seemed so heavenly to him . chromedome and rewind ,, however ,, had different opinions . rewind was interested in this human holiday ,, whilst chromedome shared the same opinion as cyclonus . how were you sure this 'santa' guy wasnt gonna rob you ? and when you were sleeping nonetheless .

• rodimus already knew of this tradition ,, as did ratchet and ultra magnus . rodimus was quite ecstatic at the idea of having a christmas party ,, watching christmas movies and sipping on energon . maybe he could even have you sit on his lap ,, all cozy in those soft blankets and sippin on your own mug of hot chocolate .

• ratchet couldnt care less ,, grumbling something about how 'you humans and your holidays and customs' . though he definitely didnt deny the offer of going to this christmas party ,, it was nice to spend some time that didn't involve life threatening situations for once .

• ultra magnus ,, on the other hand ,, was quite picky about how the christmas party should be set up . he even tried to ban home alone ,, saying he didnt want rodimus to get any ideas from the traps in the movie . the last thing he needed was to end up in one the next day . though ,, the many outweigh the few ,, and so home alone was allowed in the movie marathon .

• now when you told him about the grinch ,, he wasnt sure if you were mocking him by saying it was an actual movie or if he should be concerned for what this dr.seuss guy was drawing . i mean ,, have you seen how hairy the grinch is ? or how the whos in whoville are shaped ? pointy noses and all ,, it was quite new to magnus .

• megatron ,, who overheard everything ,, already knew he wasnt going to be wanted at the party . it made sense ,, his past and everything he's done to earth and its people . though when you asked him to come ,, that you personally wanted him there ,, he swore he felt his spark stop for a second . he only gave a nod ,, whilst ravage bickered to him that night in his habsuite .

• whirl ,, to say the least ,, was prepared to fight santa . he was watching the santa tracker ,, waiting for the jolly fellow to pop up so whirl could fly down and bring out the big guns ( that brainstorm recently made ,, not yet tested out or put through a test trial so lord knows what may go wrong) . magnus almost had to throw him in the brig if he couldnt contain his sudden rage and fury for the old man .

• first aid was somewhat interested ,, never having celebrated a holiday before . it would be nice ,, getting together and doing nothing but watching movies all day . he hadnt seen movies from earth that much either ,, besides a few fast n furious ones here and there . needless to say ,, he was somewhat concerned for humans need to trash cars . he cringed a little on the inside ,, watching those perfectly good cars blow up . it was like a horror movie but for cybertronians .

• during the movie marathon ,, whirl tried to sneak violent night and black christmas in ,, saying they were also christmas movies and that they should watch them . magnus ended up throwing them out ,, saying no one really felt like seeing dying people during this one time of peace .

• drift enjoyed the nightmare before christmas ,, the claymation alone was enough to captivate him . then the designs of the characters ,, the music and songs ,, even jack's childlike wonder for christmas matched his own (in a few ways) . during that movie you sat with him ,, sharing a few facts about the movie itself . how long it took to make and how hard it is to do claymation movies .

• during the polar express you stayed with rewind and chromedome ,, snuggling in between the two and sippin on your hot chocolate . rewind enjoyed watching the train on the ice whilst chromedome puffed about how he coulda easily done that himself and saved everyone . you only rolled your eyes ,, muttering out a sure as you fought back a smile .

• during a break in between the movies you noticed megatron ,, standing awkwardly in the corner with his own cube of fools energon in servo . you smiled at the bot ,, walking up to him and having a small conversation with him . you didnt honestly think he’d show up ,, but youre glad he did . he let you sit with him during one of the movies ,, bonding well with the giant bot .

• he was quite warm ,, heat coming from off his body as you huddled close to him . he tucked his servo around you ,, worried you may fall off . for a few moments during the movie you swore you saw him smile at some of the corniest parts ,, or chuckle softly at some of the dumbest jokes .

• you took turns ,, switching between bots during different movies . you would sit in their laps ,, explain little things you liked about the movie playing and share a few things of your own childhood during this time of the year .

• it was nice ,, to say the least . having time to the bots ,, doing things that reminded you of home . it wasnt the same ,, but it was the thought that counted . spending time with them peacefully was more than enough for you ,, and definitely more than you could ask for this christmas .

[wilsons-three-legged-siamese]

another fic of mine woah 😩

fandom; house md

can be interpreted as non slah or slah between house/wilson

summery; wilson is dying, being taken care of a person. but wilson cant remember who they are.

word count; 1.3k

tw; major character death.

a/n: i dont have ao3 so it shall not be put up on there. if it is notify me, ill say if i have given permission as if someone asks i probably will say yes.

this was based on the song "rises the moon - liana flores"

rises the moon.

days seem sometimes as if they'll never end.

its august. the 20th if we're being exact. coming to the close of summer and the opening of autumn, usually being my favourite time of the year. cozy sweaters, warm socks and scarfs, the perfect weather. usually sunny with a nice breeze. well, i wish i could enjoy it. instead, im stuck in bed, my breathing laboured and my body shaking. though, this year, summer was my favourite.. june. i really enjoyed that, when i could walk without aid and just, enjoy life. ever since mid july, ive been deteriorating quicker than an abandoned building, which has been agonising. i want the pain to go away, please. it hurts..

but i dont want to die.

from the bedroom, i hear the singing voice again, a soothing melody. their voice smooth and deep. i sigh softly, it being a sort of comfort for me, knowing at least someone was there and i wasn't alone. their humming and muffled singing drowns out the continuous beeping of the heart monitor besides me. they had stolen the machine after faking being ill in a walk-in clinic, once the doctor had done to complain to the dean about them being an ass, they smuggled the monitor and brought it back. the good ol' days hm? that day was probably the most ive complained and laughed for a long, long time.

a mass than sat on the bed, the weight shifting slightly on the mattress. i ket out an involuntary groan, my back being slightly unsupported.

"hey, i made some broth for you.. its 1, and i think you should at least try and drink it for me," they murmured.

the bowl, of what i assume was broth, was set down on the small table besides me. soon enough, long, lanky arms were wrapped around my middle, gently pulling me up to sit up. wait.. what time did they say again.. 1 was it? only.. 1?

the sun digs its heels to taunt you.

the rim of the bowl was scarcely pressed to my lips, the bowl being slightly hot. i signal them to tip it a little so i can take a sip. and so i do. and holy shit..

thats fucking amazing.

the warm, soupy liquid runs down my throat, a sort of feeling i dont get that often, especially being warm. the way he flavours mix together is phenomenal, the spices and the subtle beef. its flavourful, but not enough to freak my taste buds out, which happens all too often now.

"is it okay?" they ask, their voice soft and gentle.

i hum with a slight nod.

but after sunlit days, one thing stays the same:

rises the moon.

days fade into a watercolour blur.

its been.. maybe a week? my sense of time is so off, it could be a week for a few days.. lets say its been a few days - to make me feel better. im now slipping in and out of consciousness, which is concerning in itself. i dont know how long im out for at a time. theyve been becoming more and more worried about me. i mean, there was always an elephant in the room, hell even when i was first diagnosed. but, the elephant has been growing larger and larger than before, making it hard to ignore. we have to adress it sometime.

but its hard to breathe.

then im awoken by a coughing fit.

it shakes my whole body, racking everything as i shut my eyes tight, desperately trying not to wake them up behind me. but, of course they woke up, they always do. i tried to savour the two, lanky but muscular arms around my abdomen, as they were warm and comforting, but soon, all i could feel was pain.

"are you okay?" they ask, their voice still a bit groggy from sleep.

i hum, my voice still hoarse even though i barely made a sound.

this just reminds me of them, i swear something to do with an infarction to the leg. but i cant quite remember.. or remember them.. their face is slightly recognisable, but not by a lot at all. my memorys been wracked up.. pisses me off, i wanna know whos caring for me. i wanna thank them, using their name, recogising their face.

memories swim up and haunt me.

"hmm.. mm!" i hum, trying to catch their attention.

they run over, quickly turning me on my side and holding the bucket to my mouth. i start to cry as i retch, vomiting harshly into the bucket, they rub my back gently, mumbling words of encouragement and reassurance softly to me. finally, i stop. glancing down at the small puddle of bile and saliva, i frown slightly.

look into the lake, shimmering like smoke.

i look into their eyes. my, coffee like brown into their, ocean like blue. scared and helpless meet concerned and determined. they run their skinny, pianist fingers through my frail hair. they always wanted to care for me, secretly.

rises the moon.

"close your weary eyes, i promise you that soon the autumn comes to darken faded summer skys." they pause for a moment. "breathe, breathe, breathe."

almost immediately after hearing that, i start to cry, just a full on breakdown. they quickly embrace me, wrapping their arms around my middle. i dig my face into theit shoulder, tears still rolling down my pastey cheeks. its nice.

oh to be hugged like this again.

days pull you down just like a sinking ship.

its been a day? maybe.. i dunno anymore. it might've been 2, 3, 4 a week, who knows - not me thats fot sure. it might be september now, i last remember it was august, that seems like yesterday. them, my carer, whatever, i dont know their name anymore. i dont know who they are, i cant see.. its all blurry and fuzzy, so is my memory. i cant remember the last time i ate..

floating is getting harder.

"im sorry.." they mumble, their voice snapping me out of my thoughts - though it was barely above a whisper.

their thin fingers run through my hair again, gently letting it fall between the gaps and repeating.

oh, i forgot to mention, i also cant speak.. or breathe for that matter. i think the tumor - or tumors more like - have begun to press against my trachea and esophagus, making his hard to both eat and breathe. wheezing has become a normal, daily routine.

considering my condition,

i have tonight,

and thats it.

because of my fate, i keep repeating a phrase i once said to a child as they went through chemo. they had no parents, i was the best thing they had..

but thread the water, child, and know that meanwhile: rises the moon.

days pull you up just like a daffodil.

its the next day, i think. its really hard to just think. the weezings gotten worse, i feel awful, like horrendous. its awful... maybe i am ready to die. i can just subtly feek them holding my fraile hand, stroking their thumb over my knuckles. only barely. im scared, terrified more like. i dont even know who they are, but im scared for them.. they'll miss me definitely. what will they do when im gone? i dont know..

uprooted from its garden.

once again, i feel consciousness slip from underneath me. which is normal, very. but this wasn't normal.. i could still hear.

"they'll tell you what you owe," they mumble. "but know even so, rises the moon."

i try to smile, a small twinge of my lips. but nothing happens. i try to tell them i love them, but again, nothing happens.

"you'll be visited by sleep. i promise that the autumn comes to steal away each dream you keep." they choke back a sob.

"breathe, breathe, breathe." houses voice sobs.

they're house.

but its too late to tell him i love him.

[politemagic]

heyyyy babeeeee it's been a while ^3^

anyways I'm thinking about the first time dad!iv and iii go back to iv's place after a night out. Like Flora is at her mom's for the weekend, so they've got the place to themselves and thus intend to use every inch of it before the night is over. So they're stumbling through the door, still half drunk / making out / clinging to each other / someone lost a shoe in the hallway. And it's all hot and heavy and IV feels like a teenager about to nut in his pants again.

But then, as they're moving in from the doorway to the living room (stop 1 of many for the night), iii trips on something—oh my! He topples into IV like the gangly tree man he is (bonus points if he lands between IV's tits anime-style) and they both eat shit on the floor

Flora forgot her big ass unicorn cat squishmallow on the floor when her mom picked her up. Plushie 1, horny drunk idiots 0. As they reorient themselves, IV is super embarrassed (he's still nervous about dating as a single dad, so he's worried about III's reaction since he likes this guy but won't tolerate his baby being seen as an "issue"). But III is super sweet and only teases him affectionately about it.

It's an oddly nice break in the tension between them (oh IV my poor little pent up quickshot 😚) and they take a moment to settle down a bit. IV puts away Kittycorn (named courtesy of Flora) while blushing hard and ready to keep apologizing, hoping iii will at least want to try again some other night. He's pleasantly surprised to see that III started fixing them both a cup of tea, since the mood was kinda killed a bit but he wants to keep spending time with him. No, he's not leaving and you don't have to worry, kids leave shit laying around all the time. No big deal, love (blushing intensifies)

Which was nice, because a) he makes a damn good cuppa (green flag) and b) it gives them a chance to get cozy on the couch for a little while. After all, the mood was only KINDA killed. And spending some time wrapped up in each other in low, warm light and hot drinks got the tension built up again niiiiiice and slow ;3

Turns out, it's a lot easier to go all night after you've rehydrated and aren't desperately fucking at mach 3 with hair-trigger stamina !! :)

(+ later down the line, III finds a smaller unicorn cat squishmallow at the grocery store and gets it for Flora as a little friend for the big one. She is utterly delighted and now The Big Man is her new bestie)

elkkie my love my light my darling 🫶🏼

me reading this like 🙂‍↕️🥰😏🤗

because iv is so nervous that iii won't want him bc he's a dad but in reality iii's number two priority (number one being keeping iv himself happy) is winning over flora & showing her that she's safe and loved with him, and that he's going to take good care of her dad.

but also imagining the scene of iii giving her the mini kittycorn and she is so delighted but iv is blushing ridiculously hard. iii is just grinning at him because while it is primarily intended as a lovely and thoughtful gift for flora, he couldn't resist getting him a little flustered as he recalled their drunken shenanigans <3

[sgtmickeyslaughter]

once again, its been one hell of a wednesday

time to unwind with a weekly tag game!

thanks for tagging me @lingy910y @juliakayyy @energievie and @jrooc

name: gigi

age: 24

star sign: full time virgo

first language: english

second language: lol i wish, my girlfriend has been trying to teach me korean the whole time we've been together and cant comprehend that my brain is just simply not wired to learn language

favorite lip product: aquaphor 🥰 and the nars laguna lipstick it was literally made for pale autumns

the best food dish you can make without a recipe? honestly most things, even when its new i like to skim and freestyle, most often i make eggs in hell and various soups, stews and stocks

if you drink tea, what kind? the only tea i drink is bottled cold green tea, and ginger in hot water when im sick

if you drink coffee, what roast do you usually get? light roast <3

favorite thing to watch on youtube right now: music videos! also watching a lot of book binding tutorials and general quiet crafting videos

favorite thing to watch on youtube in 2012: the dame herself ms. jenna marbles and honestly up until she left it would be the same answer

favorite item of clothing right now: i have a few very very cozy sweaters that have been in rotation over the last few weeks, but i am very excited to get back to soft loose blouses and pants

favorite item of clothing in 2012: a very cool 70's jean jacket that i still own and wear!

fandom

three movies you recommend: Chungking Express, jennifers body, in bruges

your favorite concert: tyler childers at radio city music hall, the queen of dancehall herself sister nancy and tune yards

have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion? not a single opinion, we can agree to disagree on things but i have unfollowed people for consistantly being really negative about everyone other than their favorite characters and just overall being a bummer

have you ever left a fandom because of the fans? Nope! every fandom I've been apart of has had really lovely people, but by far shameless is the nicest which feels a little ironic

the best tv show you watched last year: Beef by far, I don't think Ive ever resonated with a piece of media with such raw emotion (also the bear and succession but yall already knew that)

do you have a fancasting you just can’t let go of? Im not really apart of the harry potter fandom at all but sometimes marauder fancasts come on my fyp and theyre all really fun

a ship you’ve abandoned: destiel a little, i still love them that brain rot (damage) cant be undone but i rewatched supernatural last year and like, Dean is so genuinely unkind to him most of the time (/nuanced)

on a scale of 1-10 how willing are you to share your ao3 history? i mean, with who?

do you have a fandom tattoo? no tattoos

what fandom do you wish was bigger? none come to mind

has a finale ever ruined a show for you? no honestly im pretty okay with all of them, but i never watched any of the big ones that people hate

have you…

swam in an ocean? yes! I was a jr lifeguard, swimmer and water polo player in highschool, i am the safest person to visit the beach with

been vegan/vegetarian? I was vegan for three years but when i moved back home during covid i couldnt really keep it up while eating dinner with my family every night and now im very plant based but not vegan or veg

gone skinny dipping? many times lol

gone skiing? yes but i prefer snowboarding

been to a convention? only work related design conventions

tagging from my notes: @mickeysgaymom @rainbowbri @anonymous-galager @gallawitchxx @iansw0rld @mybrainismelted

[oohbuggypie]

Since your ask box is open do you got any great tiger or hondo headcannons?

(First ask anywhere so I don’t know what to ask lol)

I GET U WALLET OMG using the ask box makes me nervous like idfk what 2 say,,, but THE GREAT GT !!! one of my fav characters ever srsly. Tiger to me is like soo annoying and perfect i wanna punch him in his face but like endearingly. anyway as far as headcanons go i am at a TOTAL loss :( i talk abt loving that man 24/7 but like i don't have many fun things i think he'd do or be or whatever?? however if it counts, i always have had this idea of an AU(?) in my head where he would be a dancer. idk i think it's his attitude and his grace that makes it make sense, but something about him performing shows in dim lit places and incorporating his magic into routines has always been smthn on my mind .. id love to elaborate on it further in a different post or once ive deepened my ideas on it ... but if YOU have any PLEASE drop them !! Tiger is at the top of the list i love him soo much and id love to think more abt it and hear ur ideas abt him 🩷

as for Hondo, i think he would have a little library / reading corner in his home where he gets himself all cozy and just chills for hours at a time. it's got a little decorative rug and throw pillows all around it and he has a couple little wooden shelves to store all his books in. if he has something hot to drink i think he easily knocks out there after a hard match. also Piston would be a knick knack fan no doubt (meee); he probably has many, many tiny porcelain figures of small animals like deers and any kind of feline that he displays on their own special shelf, as well as many collectable trinkets he's gathered from traveling to the respective home countries of his friends 🥹 he tidies them as stress relief if he's having a bad day 4 sure 🩷

[girlsbeingtheirbestself]

get out of a rot 🧖‍♀️🎀🎧📖🌺

hey guys!

so recently i have just been not doing great. I spend hours scrolling, I havent been washing my hair enough or my face i have a messy room and ive not been eating great or doing enough exercise i just feel…. ugh. the people that get it, get it. idk how many people can see this but if you’re feeling the same… we are gonna get out of this together! lmk in the comments pls! 

ok so i don’t want to loose a load of readers by saying this but just hear me out and ill explain why in a second! i have deleted insta tiktok and snap. I KNOW. its just the main cause of my rot and im gonna reinstall snap i think because i need it to text my friends but i deleted so i can GET RID OF THIS FLIPPING ACCICTION! its bad. i go on my phone and ipad (i know) wayyyy to much. that has been my first step. ive had it deleted a couple days and im gonna try keep it as long as poss. i feel much less stressful too because im not waiting for replies 24/7! its quite good actually. 

now tomorrow if you can here is what you are gonna do:

tonight, go to bed at 9.00 or 10.00 earliest you can. (if its later than 7.00 do this tomorrow so you aren’t going to bed late!) put screens away before bed and have a hot shower (or cold however you like) and RINSE AWAY THE ROT! then get in comfy pjs. read until you are tired. listen to a sleep story and fall asleep

ok…here is the plan for the day.

wake up at 6 or 6.30 or 7 am whichever works best for you. don’t groan and pull the covers over your head. get up and put on sports shorts and a baggy tshirt. go for a short fast run and come back tired and sweaty. stretch for a few mins and do an ab workout (lmk if you want the best one i know!) pour yourself a glass of ice water and gulp it down. get in the shower and wash, shave if you like to. wash your hair use your fav products and then get out and put lotion all over. get into comfy but presentable cute clothes and tidy your room - start with your bed and tidy the best you can. you shouldn’t have touched your phone yet. just pretend you are still asleep. go to the kitchen and cook your fav breakfast. avo on toast? pancakes with maple syrup? whatever you want babes. ok now clear up and if you have any get some simple homework done. i know big tasks seem scary but it will feel easier. write 3 achievable goals for the day in a notebook along with your thoughts. just write whatever. this will be your lifeline for your unrotten life. DRINK WATER! im shit at this but it cleans you inside and out! then, after what you need to do with your day (if you have nothing to do, connect with freinds family or pets or if you can’t then clean anthing or draw or style your hair or comment on this or start your own blog) take a short walk and cook a nutritious lunch with veg and fruit for dessert. then workout again just a bit to get you sweaty and tired! eat a yum dinner and have a quick shower again. then brush your teeth and tongue and use mouthwash and floss then wash your face. get in your cutest pjs and watch a little tv before bed but do this mindfully, know how long and how much you will watch. then get into your cozy bed and snuggle with your teddies. have a hot tea/milk and a hot water bottle. write how you feel in your journal (just a little scribble, no need for neatness) and read until your tired. fall asleep AND DONT TOUCH YOUR PHONE its you enemy! 

right its 11.30pm now. i should go to bed. night! ill be back with more tips and another routine tomorrow 

see you then xoxo

[rouge-the-bat]

i was tagged by @princesstokyomoon owo! ty for the tag i love talking about myself LOL

nickname: [not including nicknames based on my irl name for obvious reasons] rouge is what i go by online, sometimes called rougey too :3 kurama is another nickname, so is weirdo (started based on my old url, weirdobsessivenerd). i used to go by yoshi a while back in school too with some people

sign: taurus ♉️ !

height: uhh im 5'2" or 5'3" iirc

last thing i googled: koltins locations in totk, bc im hunting down bubbul frogs rn ! i have 32 left to get atm owo

amount of sleep: eh varies tbh? usually i get around 8-10 hours but sometimes it can be a little less or a little more depending on the night

dream job: character designer for video games!!! + general graphic design n world design n stuff like that. i love LOVE designing things, especially characters, its been one of my biggest and longest passions in my life !!! characters are my absolute fave thing to enjoy and work on, and i hope to one day create characters others can fall in love with like i have for many characters!!!

wearing: a hot pink nightgown with black lace, and black lacey shorts! its so cozy n me core :3

media that summarizes me: like... summarizes my personality? my interests?? hmm... im not really. sure what would really summarize me for my personality? maybe some of my fave things since they tend to have quite an effect on me?

the sonic series i think is a good representation of how im unashamed to be genuine to myself, positive and loving what i love and not caring about being cringy. and it absolutely influenced my love for rockin music, colorful series with darker stories, and edgy antiheroes lol.

maybe system of a down would be a good thing to mention here too, i love all of their music and they definitely have rockin high energy music that can get really wacky sometimes, and ive always had a love for weird shit and identified with being weird!

favourite songs: ough hmm.. ill limit myself to like. 6 songs i really love rather than trying to figure out my Favoritest Faves bc im indecisive lol. n gonna do some different styles for a variety of my tastes!

bring me the horizon ft babymetal - kingslayer

in this moment - sick like me

omega tribe - summer suspicion

megumi ogata - fukanzen nenshou

riff kitten ft kumiho - fallen world

i dont know how but they found me - mx. sinister

instruments: this is so vague lol like. is this meaning ones ik how to play? my fave instruments?

well for ones i know how to play- well i used to know how to play anyways- i played the clarinet in band! n at some point i got an ocarina n tried learning that but never worked on it much. i used to be able to play a couple little tunes on it tho (like the jigglypuff song from the pokemon anime. or part of it at least). someday ill get back to it...

for my fave instruments... id probably say the violin and piano. i really love the sound of them, and i like how much emotion they can evoke!

aesthetic: oh god where do i even begin gkdkfbdkf i have a MILLION aesthetics i love lol. lovecore is probably my biggest one though, but i also love tech/glitchy stuff, gems, mermaid/ocean, general nature/flowers, clown/carnival, christmas, halloween, witchy, punk/goth/scene/emo (together since there can be some overlap between the aesthetics, ik theyre not the same), night/dreamy, space, yandere for a darker twist on lovecore stuff, and much much more. i love anything from pastel n cute, to neon and dynamic, to dark n creepy. i just!! absolutely adore aesthetics!!! its what im all about!

favourite author: ...i dont have one fkxbjf i havent read a book in years and even when i used to read more i didnt have one. could i just say yoshihiro togashi since he created the manga of my fave anime (yu yu hakusho) lmao?

random fun fact: i love pickles and will drink pickle juice straight out of the jar. have yall ever had pickle pops??? its like popsicles but with frozen pickle juice. i LOVE it. actually i should find our popsicle molds so i can make some soon

some mutuals to tag: if yall wanna, ill tag @megalo-station @mageofcolors @transgaykurama @foxdenji @skrunksthatwunk @l-lawliets-pussy @yoko-kurama-the-sex-god @shining-bewear @pipwife and weve only been mutuals for a short time but ill tag @shrineguardianhyena too owo

[bunnywabbit2]

25 and 28 for that ask game/ask list 👀?

25) fave season and why?

even tho i know the answer (autumn) its still a hard question :’D each season has a different ‘why i like it’ ‘why i dont like it’ 

lets start with spring right. its so pretty! life!! flowers start to bloom and sure the snow melts and it gets a little ugly but. its also rlly kinda happy yk :))

and i hate allergies—pollen is the worst thing in the world.

but also just the concept of spring itself is really lovely <3

and summer!!!

there is no school and you are free (mostly) and you can hang out and maybe travel and the sun sets late and you can go outside and play and you can get cold drinks and not worry and do things like have barbeques and eat watermelon and mangoes and its so fun and u can spend ur time doing things u like and u have opportunity yk.

but there are also mosquitoes.

with autumn

i mean school starts and thats kinda a :’D bc stress and whatnot but its also very <3 bc u get to see your friends again

its such a beautiful season (well all of them are but)

autumn :D the leaves are changing colors and its so pretty i feel so lucky that i live in a place where the leaves change colors and u can leave crunch jump yk!!!!! when i was in elementary school friends & i would make giant leaf piles at recess and we would jump and it was so nice

and you can wear really nice outfits too i love fall outfits

and again w/school you can see your friends again :) and theres something really exciting and comforting about it tbh

and obviously the weather is wonderful

winter used to be my favorite season and now its not but

winter is beautiful :)) its cold as hell and every winter i wish it were summer and every summer i wish it were winter but

when it snows its so wonderful. snowflakes are so pretty and magical kinda (named my first bunny snowflake lol) idk the snow is very nice and fun to play in and hot chocolate is nice and having a long cozy scarf is nice you know

so so happy that i can experience all four seasons every year and i can see flowers bloom and the sun set at night and leaves change color and snow <3

28) do you collect anything?

kind of!! i love pins and i have a bunch but somehow i just never wear them :’D ive been trying to use them more tho!! i also love feathers and dried flowers and pretty rocks...all those kind of things! 

OH YEA also vintage makeup compacts. theyre SOO pretty i love them i love vintage trinkets and doohickeys :) 

thanks anon <3

[bluegalaxygirl]

Hello again 😁!!

I don’t know if this is okay to ask, but would you be comfortable to share something about yourself? I could be anything as long as your comfortable with sharing it and it’s also okay if you don’t feel like answering this. I’d just like to get to know you a bit better since you seems to be such a beautiful person. 😊

Thank you for all your great One Piece stories!! They always make my day and help me get through them. ❤️

Thank you so much for all the love and support you and everyone else have been giving me, i'm happy to talk a bit about myself and I'll put a Trigger warning down bellow when i talk about some stuff. I don't mind talking about it since it was a long time ago and i hope it shows that others aren't alone. Also this is way longer than i thought it would be.

So first off i'm a very creative person i used to write a lot when i was in high school mainly because i have dyslexia (BTW why do they have to make it hard to spell) and it helped me a lot to understand words and spell. I remember when i was 13 i had the reading age of a 5-year old but thanks to one lady, i got up to my own age in reading in two years (Something my primary school refused to do). I do a lot of other creative stuff too like art, cross stitching, card making (I'm currently making Christmas cards for my family this year, its snow globe themed), jewelry making, sticker making and i'm trying to paint figures again. I

I also like to write how i want to be treated or how people should be treated while in a relationship, with love, respect, kindness and understanding. I wasn't treated like that in my past relationships, nothing bad happened and i wasn't abused but there were times when i would have to "Remind" them of my boundaries. That's also a big thing for me plus communication, if there's a problem or something is bothering you then it should be talked about so you can both understand and maybe figure out a solution. I find it funny how i love writing romance and stuff but i can't stand romance movies, i 1000% hate them, i just find them so annoying.

I love making people happy and i believe that if you are kind to others then they will be kind back but i'm also no longer a push over. If i don't like you then i won't talk to you. Family is very important to me but unfortunately there are members of my family that i can't stand for one reason or another and i won't talk to them as much but if i'm in a room with them i'm happy to be kind unless their not.

My favorite flowers are Sunflowers, there just so big and happy and come in different color's and shades. I love anime and playing video games, my favorite is watch dogs 2 but i also love the south park games. I love anything to do with autumn/fall, pumpkins (I love to help my mum make pumpkin soup and pumpkin pie), horror, maple leaves, cozy jumpers and socks, it's also the perfect time to start drinking hot chocolate. :)

TRIGGER WARNING AREA

You don't have to read through this part, its just explaining what iv been through and why i'm ok about writing stuff.

I was bullied all through primary school and all through high school, calling it hell would be an understatement, it didn't matter how nice i was or if i told a teacher it would still continue. I was spat at, called every name under the book, had my hair pulled, got kicked and pushed around and yet the teachers wouldn't do anything. When i was in primary school one of my bullies pushed me off a climbing set and i broke my wrist, she said it was an accident and the teachers believed her. My parents were constantly fighting the school, but they had an excuse for everything and i couldn't be moved form that school since it was way better than any of the others around (I would have gotten treated worse in any other school). In high school i was heavily sexualized by the boys, after years of bullying and getting no where with anyone you end up just shutting down and not saying anything, i went years without telling my parents anything or complaining to a teacher because it would go no where. My parents new something was going on but without me saying anything or any kind of evidence they couldn't confront the school.

When i was 14 i was sexually assaulted by a boy on school grounds (I found out when i was in collage my bullies told him to do it and one of them would sleep with him, and they did), I started talking to my parents again after that, and we got the police involved unfortunately it was my word against his because the bullies who where the only ones around said they didn't say anything (Even though they said to my face that they did and laughed about it) and the cameras in the area didn't work, i still don't know if that was the truth or not. I ended up getting yelled at by the headmistress for getting the police involved and then told me and the boy should sit down and talk about it. My parents went off on her after that and i feel so stupid because when they said they were moving me to another school i told them no. I wish i moved schools but the school i went too was the only one going Photography GCSE's and i wanted to be a photographer and my parents didn't fight me on it. Luckily things got better after that i think my bullies were to focused on getting a good grade than me but it didn't completely stop.

I worked hard though and passed all except one and got into collage where i did Photography for 2 years, i loved it so much and am so proud of myself for getting a very high grade despite falling very ill in the second year and hardly being able to attend classes but the teachers and staff there were amazing and gave me everything i needed. The first year i had some problems, me and the boy who assaulted me went to the same collage and lived in the same town, so we would get the same train i did, i tried to avoid him but i noticed he started sitting or standing close to me on and off the train. The first time i realized he was basically stalking me is when i got to the station and deliberately missed the train i was supposed to get, and he didn't get on when usually he would. The next time i got on the train and then got back off once he was on, and he left the train too. We got the railway police involved, but they said because he hasn't touched me there's nothing they could do, but they did give him a warning. That warning made everything worse though, he started following me to class even when i was with friends, he would stand right in front of me or right behind me if i was standing on the train, he even started to follow me home. Finally, the railway police gave him a restraining order and it all stopped thank gods.

I was too shy back then but after a lot of therapy and learning self defense i became more confident and able to stand up for myself, i still have my moments of going into my shell but i try to fight back with words if i can.

[perpetual-dread-machine]

Big vent post, i dont have the brainpower to CW it

The sorrows of having pain on your shoulders that you cannot hold any longer. The type of pains you take to the grave. To have a single place you can untangle the long chain of pain is something most dont get the oppertunity to have.

I lost all hope in humanity sometime late last year, and have been trying to find a reason- any reason, to stay alive. i didnt eat if i wasnt at work, and i didnt sleep if it wasnt on my commute. I plunged myself into work when i lost a reason to live and all i have left of it is burnout, an empty bank account and a nic problem- my natural thought being if i couldnt die now id be fine taking years off my life for temporary solace.

I don't know why i cannot find peace in this life. Im beyond poor, have so few social skills i dont know how to meet other girls who'd be willing to put up with my shit long enough for me to befriend them let alone date, and often feel like a sore thumb when people who want to have me around bring me around people who live such wildly different lives.

Ive been off pain pills for close to 2 years now and my pain only gets worse with time, but i know how badly they ruin your life. Can't say much about smoking either beyond that.

Ive been overmedicated by quack doctors who throw more and more antidepressants at me when they only make it worse- and when i tell them what i needed i got a hand wave and an upping of dosage of mood stabilizers, cant afford medical treatment, cant find a job with consistent hours to feed myself, cant get financial assistance with housing or electricity because im already so broke the place wasnt up to code when i moved in- under the table shit, and got fucked up by a carbon monoxide leak.

It feels like an endless cycle, that if emotional pain wasnt enough in this world that my chronic pain makes it so i cant get a better job than the 8 hours every other week. So what do you do when facing that? The future is bleak enough im actually starting to worry if im going to make it.

I've lost my original will to live ages ago. Im praying i can find something to keep me here. Because even if its the tar of a cigarette, ill take that over the whirling dark of oblivion.

Maybe thats the addiction talking, maybe thats the truth. Im scared to face this world alone, but anybody who wants to get close i just push away. Its easier to push them away.

Its easier to push myself, away.

I dont want to be alive, and im scared.

This is the deepest darkness ive felt consume me in years.

Where do i find passion in my life again? It feels like everything will be a repeat of my past failures. And im doomed to end up in an abusive relationship like my dad.

Maybe if i just stayed with him and put uo with all his asanine shit id be in new york right now. A cozy apartment, obscene rent, rain on the window, lights illuminating the sky. Maybe we'd be happy now.

Probobly not. Id probobly have moved to new york then he'd have found a prettier tranny to top him before dropping me to the curb thousands of miles from home

Instead im here, in a world which i am in no way part of. Dragged along to experience the joys of friends, left feeling pointless and like extra baggage at every moment.

Maybe one day ill learn to accept that people care about me.

But why would they, i dont care about me.

Id be lying if i said starving myself felt bad. I like looking thin. I feel like im going to throw up all the time, food makes me actively repulsed, im weak and have no energy. Its totally worth it... Right?

This is why i fucking hated brat summer. Like every other good corperate faggot i got swept up in it, but something snapped in me.

Party every day when im bumpin that.

Like a bizzare and fucked up wet dream for anybody focused on nothing but vapid appearance based worth. But thats the nature of clubs right?

Maybe i am hot, i had old gay men buy me drinks and another weird queer fuck in my room at my house.

Maybe i am a piece of shit- free booze and guilt free sex with a loser who may have started stalking me, but its better than being alone. Right?

Is it better than being alone?

[navire190413]

im saving money, so ive been bringing my lunch to work everyday. the restaurants in shibuya all have cheap 定食 options for around ¥1000, but eating out everyday adds up to ¥20,000 a month. why would i do that when i can just make a sandwich for like ¥200 yen a day. not to mention it has lower calories.

its been storming like crazy in tokyo lately, to the point ive been getting cancelled on by friends consistently because they just dont want to go outside in it. i really wanted to eat something nice and hot and cozy because of the rain, so i came to one of my favourite restaurants today. its korean food, but its ran by indian guys. i dont really know authentic korean food. even with japan being so close to korea, when i eat with my korean friends they always tells me the food is good but not 100% accurate. so this korean food made by indians is probably not authentic at all, but damn its so good 😂 indian culture understands spice and japanese culture DOES NOT, so japanese korean food really lowers the spice level. this place is actually kind of spicy which i appreciate. i am so spice deprived in japan.

it was girls’ night at my favourite bar last night. aka the night the two women bartenders work, so i popped over before going home. told myself i’d only spend ¥3000 and i stuck to it! i was keeping track of my tab on my calculator app, and decided to pay when i hit ¥3000, but when i looked at the receipt, it was only ¥2000 😂 i guess my friend knocked a drink and a shot off of my tab. so i decided to keep drinking until i hit ¥3000, but after saying that, people started buying my drinks so itd take longer for me to hit ¥3000😂

they also played a bunch of hypnosis mic songs for me when one of the bartenders realized i love it. it was fun. i love that place. i wish i could afford to still go everyday.

but i definitely felt it this morning.

i keep falling asleep around 2am. im still not used to working fulltime again, so it feels like theres not enough time in the day and i just stay up later and later.

[returntosaturn271995]

Tuesday, May 14th: Recoil

Today I felt my spark come back, like when you push hard on an old gas stove and hear the click click click of the flame trying to light. I had to apply effort, but I am back in the kitchen making something. My keyboard is even playing ball, with only one or two keys not working.

Trying to ignore that as a metaphor but fuck it- who isn't mostly functional with some sticky functions that lead to the occasional workarounds or errors? Much like my laptop, I have not always been treated with care, have some issues, and part of me is silicone.

But also a great source of entertainment I think we can all agree.

Lately Ive been considering mistakes, how attached I am to them, what they say about me. If I could undo any night which one who I undo? And would it have actually changed much in the grand scheme of things? Aside from a freak accident or death- obviously that kind of error changes lives. But how many of my fuck ups would have happened another way even if I was able to cntrl-Z them out of existence?

It helps to see your life as intentional- so you feel less like a victim to circumstance or the preferences and actions of others. If I were to choose to go through this- what am I learning? The shitty men? To love myself. The consequences from drinking? To stop numbing myself and get cozy with the discomfort and mundanity of ever day life as a miracle.

Meals cooked: jalapeno goat cheese burgers and my prosciutto risotto.

Tasks of valor: Cleaning the kitchen, laundry, running just 10 minutes to get back in the habit.

Books Read: The inner work (for becoming a better person) and Saint X (for fiction).

Goals: Stay sober (hydrated) and reach the Green Zone of the Nike Running app before the end of May (14 more miles in 15 days- we got this)

Remember yourself. Come back to yourself. Your time is now, and you've got all you need. Nothing missing, nothing fucked. But a life that resets every time you want it to.

Also a hot New Zealander thought I was 22 today- not important but also - cough cough- a vibe.

[bbboar]

weird asks: ALL hehehe

chaotic good, i love it!!

who is/are your comfort character(s)? Dont rly have comfort characters but during the 2020 lockdowns Breq Imperial Radch was my comfort character bcs i was going through some shit and she was a force of nature and justice Basically i get why Seivarden was down bad.

lighter or matches? Dont smoke

do you leave the window open at night? Absolutely not. It does not close properly and theres spiderwebs outside!

which cryptid being do you believe in? None of them but love to hear stories

what color are your eyes? Brown

why did you do that? What?

hair-ties or scrunchies? Ive never used a scrunchy so i cannot judge effectively

how many water bottles are in your room right now? Only one (i have 2 metal water bottles, one for home and another for work)

which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee? Depends on the season! Hot for winter but cold for summer.

would you slaughter the rich? i understand the craving for violence but personally i think it would be more torturous to have them watch as their wealth is redistributed and they have to live like normal people and work and have a budget and shit lol Like i know i doesnt sound bad but the way some of these people live....theyd be crying screaming shitting throwing up etc

favorite extracurricular activity? Girl im 27, i dont go to school anymore. All my activities are extracurricular

what kind of day is it? Thursday. Actually its after midnight so its Friday now

when was the last time you ate? Like 5 hours ago, i had some chocolate

do you love the smell of earth after it rains? Yeah!!!

are you a parent? (all answers qualify) no

can you drive? No but god do i need to learn to make my life easier

are you farsighted or nearsighted? Neither to my knowledge

what hair products do you use? Lmao none?? Unless im curling my hair and using hair spray. Oh i also use a hair mask each time i shower.

imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails? omg of course, bestie!

do you say soda or pop? Im Australian, i say fizzy drink

something you’ve kept since childhood? I have a sonic tshirt that ive had since i was 12 years old and i will not throw it away until it comes apart

what type of person are you? Vampire coded werewolf

how do you feel about chilly weather? I get sad when the weather starts getting colder bcs summertime is my favourite, but after that transition period, i think its fun to go into cozy mode! I love my big comforting jackets and my oodie and having tea every day.

if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing? Looking at the starts, laughing, having deep conversations.

perfume/body spray or lotion? Personally i dont use perfume or body spray. The only lotion i use is moisturizer bcs my skin is dry

a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times? So many of them, lets not get into it

about how many hours of sleep did you get? Yesterday? Probably ~7

do you wear a mask? Yeah although not as much as i used to ngl

how do you like your shower water? Warm.

is there dishes in your room? Nope. The most there is at any given time is 1 tea mug and maaaybe a plate if ive had a snack or smtn

what type of music keeps you grounded? This doesnt apply to me

do you have a favorite towel? Not really?

the last adventure you’ve been on? Took public transport to an area id never been before last week. To me thats an adventure lol

is there a song you know every word to by heart? Yeah, theres a bunch where as soon as they start, ill know all the lyrics and be able to sing along but if the song isnt playing? Head empty.

what’s your timezone? Australian Eastern Standard Time

how many times have you changed your url? Over 5 for sure

someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years? Damn i think ive known Kieran Teeniepaws for 10+ years (Kieran if youre reading this sorry for not tagging you, this post is sooo long)

a soap bar that smells good? I dont use bars of soap??? I dont find them that practical. But ive sniffed a lot of them in shops and like 80% of them smell rly good

do you use lip balm? I have to bcs my acne medication gives me super dry lips

did you have any snacks today? Yeah i had some chocolate after dinner

how do you take your coffee? I just have a regular latte no sugar unless its more bitter than im used to. Then 1 sugar

an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site? Twitter lol, podbean, spotify, youtube and as of recently pokemon go

what’s your take on spicy foods? i love spicy food! i actually bought some sriracha the other day bc i missed having it

you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it? who are you? The fbi? Im not going to tell you

can you remember what happened yesterday? woke up, took the bus, went to work, kept thinking about touchstarved (game) while at work, tried to play some sneaky pokemon go during work bcs i ran out of pokeballs and needed to spin the local pokestop to get more, went home, made dinner, made a touchstarved thread on twitter, went to sleep

favorite holiday film? Not to be a grinch but i dont like holiday films and im sooo sick of the xmas films that come out every year.

what was the last message you sent?

when did you first try an alcohol beverage? Pretty sure i was 14,i had a glass of wine and fell asleep almost right after lol

can you skip rocks? I think its fun to do but i am bad at it

can i tag you in random stuff? If youre a stranger? No. If youre a mutual, sure! Go ahead.

[coeurwny]

♨︎

i love autumn so much! it’s the best season i feel my best in this weather. Like seriously it’s so warm and cozy even when it’s windy and chilly out. The whole season feels like a big hug. I’ve never been someone to celebrate halloween but this year i want to. i want to try my best to get outside, go on walks, hang out with my friends for once.

I want to feel the complete warmth of autumn it’s so sad how i always enjoy it alone at home; which isn’t always too bad i love watching shows/movies in the basement cuddled up in my blanket with hot chocolate or playing sims on a rainy day wearing my fuzzy hello kitty pajamas and drinking tea while i watch droplets on my window. it’s the BEST feeling. i love being alone and relaxed but i also love to go out and experience things, an adventure maybe; who cares.

i love being out with my friends—comfortable. Watching us in the moment as we laugh at the silliest things and walk around in our cute little coats pretending we’re the it girls of the town (which we are..as we should). i love seeing us excite over teenage girl things like a prom dress displayed at a window of a store at the mall or cute inanimate objects.

I just love to live in the moment i don’t always want to think of my future and worry about how i’m going to fend myself when i don’t have my parents to depend on ive decided i will deal with future things in the future (but it never hurts to have a plan). This is autumn i want to live it like it’s my last.