#ive been feeling more and more out of place recently and i think im ending up to be nothing.

[puhpandas]

as someone who isnt super excited for sotm for certain reasons I am really glad that like. it's clear that since ruin theyve been setting up for carnival and sotm IS carnival. so now that carnival is finally coming out, afterwards theyll be moving on to other plotlines since the main villain stuff is sorted out

I'm just rlly happy to finally see a clear direction for how the story is gonna be playing out with like "okay these games were leading up to this so after this will be open possibilites" instead of like. absolutely no info about each upcoming game and being left guessing before it releases and just having to wait and see what's in it and if anything you're looking forward to will be in it

it feels like they have a plan and a solid direction for what they're trying to do and after carnival releases thatll be all that buildup coming to fruition. & we already know from the Scott interview that theres another release 'beyond sotm' that's 'super exciting' so maybe thatll be focusing on another big currently untouched (which is basically all of them) plotline, or even the big campaign game that dawko has been calling security breach 2

[arolesbianism]

Thinks abt comic Siffrin. This could be a playground I think. If I felt like it. If I so chose.

[eyes-and-pies]

.

[clarkeybabey]

❝ i wouldn't give these nobodies no sympathy ❞

# summary; somethings do really get under his skin

# playlist; luther - kendrick lamar (ft. sza)

# word count; 748

# note; ive seen some distasteful comments on our bf lately. leave my man alone, he's the chillest guy. #parasocial. lazy ending im so sorry

Arthur absolutely adores his job, who wouldn't just want to hang out with their mates all day or film themselves reacting to Reddit posts to pay their bills? None of this was on his life bingo card, but he didn't think he'd change a single thing about his current situation. That was until he started collaborating with larger YouTubers.

Their fans always found a way to make him out to be the butt of the joke 24/7. He's been on social media for a while now, and of course, he understood that being unreasonably disliked came with his job, he just wished that he could express his feelings without being seen as 'soft'. It's almost as if the more he tries to ignore it all, the more comments emerge.

Some of his friends who recently began to gain traction were nearly completely dodging the brutal comments and he couldn't figure out why. Not that he wants them to experience it, because it's awful, he wouldn't wish it upon his worst enemy, but what do they have that he doesn't?

When you return from grocery shopping, he's sat in his desk chair tapping a socked foot. You take immediate notice of the furrow in his brow he seems to be scrolling through something, "You okay, baby?" Arthur startles a bit, seemingly having not realized your presence, he hums wordlessly, not bothering to look up at you.

His lack of acknowledgment makes you frown slightly. You let your purse slide off your shoulder, landing with a thunk in a pile at the end of his desk. You place a hand on his knee, bringing his anxiety-riddled movements to a halt. Finally, he looks up at you just in time for you to speak again, "Tell me."

His reply comes out sounding almost offended, "Tell you what?" He's playing stupid, but it's not going to work, not even he's been convinced by his words. You've been to him before he even knew you were home.

Your head tilts to the side and you fold your arms over your chest and without another sound from you, he knows he lost, "Just people on the internet, that's all." He's bitter and hurt, which is very evident as he continues, "Don't think they realize I'm human too."

A glance at the glowing screen in his hands tells you what he's been doing since you left a half hour ago. You take the phone from him, setting it on top of his mousepad, taking a second to situate yourself in his lap, "Listen, I know you really wanna know how people feel about you." You pause momentarily to place a chaste kiss on either cheek, "We've talked about how bad it is for you."

"It's so difficult to pretend I don't care," He begins, stopping when he feels like his throat's going to close, uncontrollable tears dot his waterline, breaking your heart. "I wish I could understand more, but I just don't know what its like, 'm not sure if I ever will be."

Your index finger finds his stubbled jaw, stroking it as you do your best to console him, if only you could take everything he's feeling and place it onto yourself even if only for a day, he deserves a break. "Those people are nobodies, they're just jealous." He leans into your touch, "You'd think I'd be used to it all by now," he mumbles against your palm, pressing a kiss to it.

Shaking your head involuntarily as he pours out all of his thoughts, but when he says that it pisses you off, "Shouldn't have to be used to it, the internet's a joke. You're a wonderful, intelligent person with opinions and feelings that are allowed to be expressed," words tumble from your lips so fast you can't control them he just sits there, a hand on your side drawing shapes on the skin where your top had ridden up, taking in all you say.

"I'm a chronic people pleaser, but I think you have me beat," you say wagging your brows, playing with his hair, finally he cracks a smile. A sigh of relief escapes you at that, "Think we should lower your screen time."

"Yes, mum," he salutes you, and a loud laugh bubbles up through him making you giggle, he pokes your tummy, "or maybe we can just run away together," he suggests kissing the upturned corner of your mouth.

"Don't threaten me with a good time."

[piratefern]

Regarding your most recent post, Has Dyo ever been broken or shattered?

OOOOOOOO the answer is a definite yes :3 And its one of the main reasons Hasel leaves

Near around WW1 Hasel started breaking down again because of the vine resurfacing (due to all the bloodshed), making him more absorbed in his head and distant, and in this way he feels he could never be a good enough partner for Dyo

Then due to this distance he ended up in the grey dimension again, his physical form attacked Dyo when he tried to help Hasel and accidentally ended up chipping his mask. This put the nail in the coffin for Hasel, despite not being his fault, and he decided Dyo would be better off without him (instead of tackling his issues head on and learning to be a better partner) so he left, leaving his briefcase as memorabilia. He’d convinced himself it was for the better, now he can focus on finding the cure for the vine and Dyo will be “safe”

Dyo had creeping suspicion that he might up and leave one day as he got more distant, making him anxious up until Hasel’s departure. Of course he didn’t think it would actually happen, but this explains why he didn’t think he’d just walked off for firewood or something, he had a dreaded feeling he’d left, and he did.

This leading to Hasel (up until present day when he’s captured by the facility a century later) to resume his search for a cure. He starts remembering something from a dream in his past, of a far away land he’d visited as a child, where he’d met a masked child of similar age. He brushed this off until it kept coming back, and you know Hasel he’s really irrational so he decided this place must be real (and he was right, somehow!)

So he starts researching about places that sounded similar in odd libraries and archives, eventually finding a place called “Alagadda”. An old explorer who fell into a pocket on earth winded up there. Hasel realised the same must have happened to him in his youth. The explorer ended up documenting the place, finding a way to build a portal between the realms, however he never fully completed this research and it is unknown what happened to him.

Hasel ends up finishing the portal, believing the answer to the cure lies on the other side

He goes through and eventually meets the Black Lord, (not knowing it was Dyo). He can’t quite place why he looks familiar. As time doesn’t work linearly in Alagadda and doesn’t parallel with earth time, he is meeting Dyo before he became Dyo when he was still Anguish/The Black Lord. Anguish believes he is sick and begs the Doctor for a cure, turning out that The Black Lord being under the control of The Hanged King was the “sickness”, sparking the event for Anguish to eventually escape through the portal just after Hasel. Hasel (by some mirical) ends up exactly at the time where he left, as if hed never been gone at all, after which he is immediately found by Facility researchers from S.C.P who had been tracking strange fluctuations in unknown energy (Dyo has been caught at the same time and they end up in the same van, im debating changing how this happens so we’ll see :3)

Dyo on the other hand emerged 2000 years in the past before the portal was ever created, this creates a paradox and as a result he loses his memory, causing him to forge a new identity to cope (of which he eventually believes is completely true)

However, since the portal is built in the future, Dyo eventually starts picking up memories he’d lost, and remembers who he was

Thats the gist of the story :3 some things ive altered slightly from my last explanation and ill probably keep doing this if I find plotholes, this is basically my first ever attempt at a fully fleshed out story so its definitely not going to be perfect 😭 but im glad you guys are liking it so far :3

I might change what the purpose of the vine is, perhaps what the vine actually does is warn Hasel when death is imminent, but he thinks that when someone has the vine they are infected, so he ends up killing them to stop the spread, however they were only ever going to die because he was going to kill them because he thought they were infected. This sorta makes sense since he was guilty that he couldn’t prevent his family from dying, so now he has the means to prevent others from dying. It also clears up why the vine is still around after he learns to accept his family’s deaths and that they weren’t his fault. So he’s convinced that the vine is his punishment and he thinks that it means he needs to find a “cure” for some disease, when really he was the “cure” all along, and was supposed to be helping people and healing people or comforting them if death is imminent, like how he did in his former life. This ties into his healing and death-touch powers and it makes more sense why he has these. He can kill at a touch of his hand, but thats to help people who have no chance at survival reach peace and not to be a midas’ touch sort of situation. He also never hears directly what his daughter wished for, just what his wife told him before she died, so his daughter easily could have wished for him to be alive again so he can help people :( And since the brothers death would have answered this wish, it makes sense why he was brought back in the way he was, being a crow (the omen of death) with healing and death-touch abilities.

so the whole time he was misinterpreting what the vine was, perhaps the manifestation of the vine and his wife wasn’t ever anything to do with the vine at all, he just assumed it was, when the vine manifestation was actually just mad intrusive thoughts due to guilt, this also makes sense why the vine manifestation turned into Dyo after he left him since its directly linked to his guilt and not the vine itself

Some silly side notes are that Dyo’s original body is like SUPER tall and he gets it back when he returns there, also when Dyo and Hasel are apart after WW1 they start taking on traits of the other, Dyo obviously has his poncho making him hooded, but be also gets more grumpy and bitter (not enough to change his whole personality though), Hasel on the other hand stops tiding his feather so they get really unkempt, eventually making his fur resemble Dyo’s hair (at the end of the series they both have it tied back :3). When Hasel winded up in Alagadda as a child he adorned a bird mask, but upon returning he doesn’t have one. We never see what Hasel looks like as a human either, this is because I have an unbridled hatred for when monster characters or characters with masks/full face helmets take them off or transform back into a human, its like its not the same character anymore even though it is, like what was the point of the character being a monster to show character development or learn a lesson if theyre just gonna be human at the end of the story, it annoys me every time LMAO (obviously exceptions being human au’s of characters, i specifically mean like when its part of a narrative in cannon material) Even if I do a post where I make concepts if they were human, Hasel specifically is keeping the Black square (not dyo though since he never was human in the first place :3)

which makes me think, what would a personality swap AU look like for these two? Theres so much to be explored, like Hasel taking up partying and drinking to deal with the death of his family of which he blames himself, and Dyo becoming closed off and reserved because he never made up a past as a coping mechanism, he just has no idea who he is which makes it hard to form any sort of romantic bond, like would any of you like a full concept of that? Im curious

[m0chis-cafe]

Hello! This is my first time making a request, if it's okay, can I get a reader with Lillia, Rook, Vil and Leona who has recently been suffering from insomnia and anxiety about returning home (comfort in the end) Please? 😔🎀

i absolutely love this, i get horrible insomia. i gotchu♡

(edit: i ended up focusing on one more than the other in some, but both are mentioned. hope u still like it *mwah*)

reader suffering from insomnia and anxiety about returning home.. ⋆⑅˚₊

word count: 1.5k

warnings: mentioning of anxiety, and panic attacks (there will be major comfort though), sitting in laps, kissing, joking to help, mentioning of what happens in each of the characters books (i hope yall have read em before but js in case)

characters: leona, rook, vil, and lilia

leona kingscholar🦁

you paced the botanical gardens on campus, hands tangling in your hair s you thoughts went a million miles a second..

how am i going to get home?

how is my family.. god i miss them..

if im forced to stay here.. how do i even pass these crazy magic classes?

do the people here ive come to know even want me here or are they forced to cause i cant leave..

every new thought was another anxiety that just caused your breath to quicken. your thoughts were flooded with negatives.. if you had magic this is what youd assume a magic blot would feel like.. so much negative emotions piling into you all at once.

you eventually sat below a tree, knees curled to your chest as you tried to calm yourself down. it didnt help that you hadent slept in days, insomnia only getting worse since coming to nightraven.

yet no matter what you did your breaths wouldnt calm, your hands kept shaking, and you couldnt hear or see straight. you almost jumped right out of your skin as you felt hands grab your own that covered your face. looking up you saw brown hair and ears.. leona?

his voice made its way to you eventually, "herbavore? herbavore.. seriously c'mon your worrying me. ruggie said you ran off but i didnt think itd be this bad." he mumbled to himself before his hands slipped dwon to your biceps, "hey, listen to me." he spoke firmly.

your eyes eventually meet him, your breaths calmling slightly at his presence. taking large breaths through your lips as you looked up at him, arms shaking in his hold. "dont fall out on me now, we need you." he spoke lowly as he scopped you up with ease, placing you betwen his legs, "your alright now herbivore, whatevers going on in that head of yours, its gonna be alright, yea?" he placed a kiss on your forhead allowng you time to breath normally.

when your breaths calmed and body began to calm, you sighed and leaned more into his body, "thank you.. leona". he chuckled deeply, sloching more down the tree, letting you fall into his chest. "its fine kid, just glad your fine. did something happen?". your eyes widened before spilling, explaining your thoughts to him slowly, anxious to be a burden. when you ended he rolled his eyes and strted laughing.. at you?..

huh?

"you seriously think anyone here doesnt want you here? i think at this point those first years would fall apart without you, and as for finding your way home, crawley better. or ill personally kick his ass, alright herbavore?" you simply nodded your head and leaned into him smiling, "your really not as bad as they say you are.."

vil schoenheit🧺

vi had become obsessed with training for the dance competittion, day after day everyone was practicing for hours every day. you tried to be nothin bt supportive but your insomnia had only gotten worse with the recent stress of the compettition..

what will happen if we dont win?

everyone else looks so tired..

god im so tired.. when was the last time i slept multiple hours?

i wish i could just go home already..

you guys had gotten the first brea of the day, you sat against the wall between kalim and ace as they yapped about how excited they were to preform next week. listening to them had you distracted, your eyes fluttering closed.

a hand was placed on your shoulder, looking up you saw jamil crouched in front of you, "are you alright? you look terrible prefect" you heard ace and kalim repremand him for being so blunt, but you just shook your head trying to wake up, "im fine jamil.. just tired, thank you though"

he looked skeptical but quickly turned to make sure kalim was drinking water and taking a proper break. ace mumbled something under his breath that you barley couldnt catch before he stood up and walked towards vil who was with rook and epel, who were talking across the room.

you saw vil look down at ace with his arms crossed, he glanced at you as ace pointed a finger to you. vil abandoned his conversation with epel and rook, shooing away the others around you, "why wouldnt you say that you havent been sleeping, thats not proper conditions for you to be proforming in prefect."

"im fine vil-", he rolled his eyes and cut you off, "you look anything but, stand" he reached a hand down to you, pulling you up from the ground. your head swam with spots when you rose too quickly, stumbling into vil.

he wrapped his arms around your waist, holding you up, "poision.. is somethng truley wrong?" you looked up at him, eyes wide as he read you like a book. he quickly took your hand and dragged you out of the practice room and into the lounge at pomefiore.

he sat you down in one of the chairs and crouched in fron tof you, holding your face in his hands, "speak to me.." you sighed before explaining what had been happening, the stresses and not sleeping, the thoughts of never being able to go home.

he sighed and stood, sitting beside you and tugging you into his side, "i wish you would speak up when this happens, you know that id never wish to add to your burdens." he placed a kiss to your forhead before continuing, "we will find a way for you to go home, no matter how bitter sweet itll be, i do hope we find a way for you to go back and forth.. we would all miss you terribly here.. especially me." at his words you sighed and relaxed into his side, "ill find a way back, i could never just leave you guys.. especially you.

rook hunt🪶

you thought itd be easy to hide your emotions recently, but knowing rook he proably could already see through your mind..

i hope i can go home soon..

i wonder if time has passed back home and if my family is worried about me..

i need to stop stresing, i havent slept at all recently

these magic classes are getting harder with the lack of magic

you thought you kept a pretty good mask on arround others, yet as soon as you were walking from potions alone with rook he spoke up, "mon cheri.. have you been sleeping enough? your beauty is as blinding as always, alas you seem more tired than usual."

you shouldve known better than to try to keep something from him, he finds out everything sooner rathar than latter, "im alright, just worried about getting home, i guess its been affecting my sleep.."

"well theres no use in worrying cheri! i garuntee they will find a way to send you home! with that said i think a long rest for you is in place." he spoke cherfully as he laced your hands together and dragged you to pomefiore, you smiled at his actions and followed along.. he always here to look after me

lilia vanrough🦇

after dealing with blots from every other house, you thought hanging around diasmonia would be calming. yet as you sat in the lounge with silver, sebek, lilia, and malleus your thought still didnt stop running..

whos going to over-blot next?

will the next one be more powerful.. maybe too powerful..

i didnt have these struggles at home

even my sleep scheduals gotten worse.. late nights staying up with lilia and idia playing games have become much more often an occurance

im supposed to be relaxing, just breath..

your mind spaced out as you looked at the floor in front of you while stuck in thought. your hands tangled into your blazer sleeves as your breath quickened, your vision began to see spots before you felt a hand rest on top of your own in your lap.

"prefect, is something the matter?" your head snapped up and saw lilia who was sat beside you, a concerned look for once took over his boyish grin, "your not looking too good.. are you ill?" he placed a hand on you forhead attempting to asses if you were running a fever.

"im alright.. just missing home" you mumbled, offering him a small smile as you placed your head on his shoulder. he sighed, raisng your hand to press a kiss on the back of your hand, "well find a way for you to go back, i promise it my dear."

he wrapped an arm around your waist pulling you to lean more into him, "in the mean time, you havent been sleeping and its clear, get some rest prefect" his boyish grin returned as he pecked your cheek. he was right.. everything was gonna be ok.

you finally felt comfortble enough to fall into a deep sleep against him, with grim curled up into your lap mumbling about his dreams of tuna. surronded by people you became found of over you stay at nightraven, it wouldnt be bad to stay here, but you knew that there would be a way home.

[urlocalmultigroupfan]

ꜱᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇʀꜱ 𐙚˙⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 (양정인)

pairing: yang jeongin x fem!reader

summary: loosely based off of strangers by kenya grace

tags/warnings: suggestive (kissing in car) kinda angsty, no good ending

a/n: hihi guys!! i think yall have noticed that i haven't been as active on here anymore sigh. atp its basically js bc i used to write based off of what i wanted to happen, but now its more like im actually experiencing it with my gf, so its kinda different for me!! its also bc ive js been talking to my friends mostly recently 😭😭 so yep!! (on discord tho add so_dxnbi if u want to talk 😋! also i might not be active during the summer so this will be one of the many oneshots and stories i have prepped to come out over the summer <3 tysm for patience!! love you guys <3

also sorry for the kinda bad ending sigh 😓

credits to @hyuneskkami for the dividers

masterlist!

You never thought you’d end up here. In the backseat of his car, the world outside reduced to a blur of neon lights and rain streaking across the windows. His hands are everywhere, touching your skin, pulling you closer, leaving a trail of heat that’s impossible to ignore. Your breaths are shallow, uneven, caught somewhere between urgency and uncertainty. It’s messy, fast, and you know it’s never going to last. But in that moment, it doesn’t matter.

You had been strangers once. You never imagined it would go this far. But here you are, both lost in the feeling of each other, and yet… it feels like you’re miles apart.

ᡣ𐭩

It all started when you didn’t expect it.

You remember the night you first met him. It was one of those nights where you had no plans, no real intentions. The party was loud, a blur of faces and music that pulsed through the walls. You didn’t even know why you were there. Maybe it was because your friends had dragged you along, or maybe it was because you were just looking for something—something to fill the quiet spaces inside of you.

The first time you saw him, he wasn’t anything special—just another guy among many. Tall, dark hair, a smile that you couldn’t quite place. But when you bumped into him, spilling your drink all over his shirt, you immediately froze, mortified.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry!” you blurted out, fumbling for your words, trying to wipe the spill from his chest.

He laughed. Softly. “It’s fine, really. No harm done.”

His eyes were warm, and for a brief moment, you felt like he was the only person in the room. You barely noticed the music anymore. There was something about the way he looked at you that made everything else fade into the background.

“I’m Jeongin,” he said, offering you a hand.

You introduced yourself, and that was it. A simple exchange of names. But there was something about him, a kind of energy that lingered after the conversation ended. You didn’t think much of it at the time, just another stranger in a sea of faces.

ᡣ𐭩

But things have a way of changing, don’t they?

The first few weeks after the party, you didn’t think much about Jeongin. He was just another person in your life. You’d pass by him in the hallways, maybe exchange a quick smile, but that was it. But then, one evening, you ran into him in the library. He was sitting alone, flipping through a book, looking more relaxed than you had ever seen him before.

“Hey,” you said, trying to sound casual. “What’s up?”

He glanced up, his eyes lighting up when he saw you. “Hey! Just studying. Want to join?”

You hesitated for a moment, unsure of what to do, but you nodded. “Sure. Why not?”

You sat beside him, the quiet of the library settling around you as the minutes stretched into hours. At first, it was just small talk—talking about assignments, the classes you shared. But before long, the conversation shifted. You found yourself laughing at his jokes, talking about things you’d never shared with anyone elseyour hopes, your fears, your childhood memories.

It was easy. Too easy.

And that’s when you started noticing him more. Not just his smile or the way he made you laugh, but the way he made you feel—like you mattered. Like you weren’t just a passing thought in his life. You started texting him more, meeting up for coffee after class, spending your weekends together in a way that felt so natural, so right.

You didn’t think much about it at first. He was just a friend, right? But even then, you could feel something shifting between you both, something you couldn’t name, something that made your heart beat a little faster every time he looked at you.

ᡣ𐭩

The moment it happened, you didn’t even see it coming.

One evening, it was just the two of you—sitting on the balcony at his apartment, the city lights flickering in the distance. You’d just finished dinner, and the conversation had slowly shifted to more personal things, things you had never dared to say aloud before.

“I think you’re one of the few people who actually listens when I talk,” Jeongin had said, his voice quieter than usual, his eyes soft.

You couldn’t help but smile. “I’m always listening.”

He was looking at you differently now, his gaze more intense, more focused. The space between you seemed to shrink, and your chest tightened. You wanted to say something, anything, but your words caught in your throat.

You felt his hand brush yours, and it was like the world stopped. Your breath hitched as he leaned in slowly, hesitating just a moment before his lips met yours.

The kiss was everything you didn’t know you needed. There was no hesitation, no second-guessing, just the overwhelming rush of wanting and being wanted. His hand cupped your cheek, pulling you closer, and you responded eagerly, the taste of him lingering on your lips.

But even in that kiss, you could sense something shifting inside of you—this wasn’t just a fleeting moment. You were both crossing a line, one you weren’t sure you could come back from.

The next few days passed in a haze, the thrill of being with him clouding your thoughts. You were officially more than friends, but neither of you spoke about it. It felt like an unspoken agreement between the two of you—no labels, no expectations, just the feelings that both of you kept buried deep down.

But it wasn’t long before the cracks began to show.

ᡣ𐭩

It was one of those nights when everything felt a little too much. The air was thick with tension, and the heavy weight of unspoken words hung between you both. You were both drunk, but there was a certain clarity in the way you looked at him.

You’d been out with friends at a club, and now you were in his car, parked in an empty lot, the sound of the rain tapping against the windows. His hand was on your leg, drawing lazy circles on your skin. He was leaning close, his breath warm against your neck, and you couldn’t deny that you wanted him. You needed him.

You let him kiss you again, this time deeper, more desperate. His hands were everywhere—on your waist, your back, your thigh. You could feel the heat building between you both, the need, the desperation, as if this moment was the only thing that mattered.

In the backseat, it was all about chasing that feeling—the feeling of being wanted, of being seen. His lips were on your neck, his body pressed against yours, and you could feel every inch of him.

It was reckless. It was messy. But it was you both searching for something—something you couldn't name, something you couldn’t hold onto.

But even in that moment, you knew it wouldn’t last.

ᡣ𐭩

Things between you both became complicated after that night. The chemistry, the passion—it was always intense, but it wasn’t enough to keep the distance from growing. Jeongin pulled away more and more, his texts shorter, his responses slower. You tried to ignore it, but the cracks were undeniable.

You wanted to talk about it, to ask him where you stood, but every time you tried, he’d shut you down with a simple excuse—“I’m busy,” or “I’ve got a lot going on right now.”

But you knew. You knew what was happening.

One evening, you sat in his apartment, the silence between you unbearable. You couldn’t ignore the distance anymore.

“I can’t do this anymore, Jeongin,” you said, your voice trembling despite yourself. “I’m tired of pretending everything’s fine.”

He looked at you, his expression unreadable. “What do you mean?”

“I mean this,” you gestured between you both, your hands shaking. “This… whatever this is. I can’t keep doing this if you’re not here with me. You’re not really here, Jeongin. Not anymore.”

There was a long pause. You didn’t look at him. You couldn’t.

Finally, he spoke, his voice quiet. “Maybe I’m not, then.”

That was it. No apology, no fight. Just a simple acknowledgment that you both knew things weren’t working. You both had been drifting for so long, it was only a matter of time before it ended.

ᡣ𐭩

After the breakup, you tried to move on. You went to class, you hung out with friends, you kept yourself busy. But every time you saw him—whether on campus or in passing—there was a part of you that ached.

He didn’t reach out, and neither did you. The silence between you was louder than anything you could say.

Months passed. You both moved in different circles, but every once in a while, you’d catch a glimpse of him. He never looked at you the same way again. He never even looked at you at all.

You were strangers again.

And somehow, that hurt more than anything else.

You never saw him again after that day at the coffee shop. He was just another face in the crowd, another memory.

A stranger.

hope yall enjoyed <33

todays playlist....

bills by enhypen, dadada by mad tsai, like by bts, feelings by lauv, love scenario by ikon, voices by stray kids, banana shake by hus, busy woman by sabrina carpenter, bed chem by sabrina carpenter, feels like summer by childish gambino, butterflies by stray kids, run bts by bts, mama said by kickflip, ssick by stray kids, drama by aespa, deer hunter by &team, like that by doja cat and gucci mane, start a war by jennie, fall in love again by p1harmony

*bold is explicit*

taglist: @rockstarkkami @sirloncelot-of-bananas @jisunggy @me-on-a-archive @hyunjiiza @hyuneskkami @hvseunq143 (im pretty sure i missed somebody 😭😭)

taglist is open! please comment if you would like to be added <3

[apollodarling-writes]

HUNTING GAMES

cws : dubcon, somnophilia, creampie, levi leaves the game, murder, code-breaking, i went over the word limit a little bit, implied manipulation and threats, dating sim! levi, levi gets a bit ummm sadistic?? at the end, college! reader, im still not happy with it but its been so long since ive updated, if i missed anything please let me know.

commissioned by anonymous.

MDNI.

there was a new otome game that had been all the rage recently. characterized by its cutesy, college-life approach, lurking beneath each syrupy-sweet word and blossoming friendship was a sinister undertone. the objective of the game was to achieve the best possible ending for the route you choose, however each love interest was desperate for your love, making said objective increasingly unattainable the further the plot progressed. you’d downloaded the game when your friend had shown you one of their favorite love interests, finding yourself hooked on the stoic culinary arts major, levi ackerman.

levi ackerman was the first route you’d ever chosen. although, in the beginning, he wasn’t too keen on raising your intimacy level. while looking at forums online, you realized that was just how he was. levi was harder to please, and by far one of the most dangerous and volatile love interests in the game. he wasn’t afraid to annihilate any other character to get what he wanted, and knew how to cover his tracks. it was hard to tell when he was on the cusp of snapping, what he liked and disliked, and where he was when he wasn’t pestering you about something trivial.

once you finally manage to get your intimacy level up to the point where his obsessive tendencies begin to show, his personality does a 180… with you at least. he’s more affectionate, gives you gifts for your daily check in — most of it being food he’s cooked just for you, and you find that he’s easier to fluster, stumbling over his words and a faint blush spreading across the apples of his cheeks. levi is still the same when he interacts with npcs, maybe a bit more on the protective and stand-off ish side when youre around. with love interests, however, levi is more hostile than ever.

you’d failed levi’s route many, many times, and had finally just achieved the good ending when you’d stumbled across something regarding a secret route of his. naturally, you wanted to see it to completion, but for some reason it just kept going. growing tired of this secret route, you chose to switch to another love interest.

this love interest in particular was very sweet, docile almost. armin seemed harmless enough, and you found that you enjoyed this route more than you had levi’s. although, after a little while, you noticed some easter eggs hidden in the back that made you feel a bit uneasy. there was a silhouette in the background of each interaction, watching everything play out, as well as a few npcs that seemed to disappear or avoid you altogether. the more you played, the more uneasy and afraid armin looked.

you noticed that armin’s eyes were often glancing around, his sentences shorter when the silhouette was more prevalent, and on a few occasions, he’d outright ignored you. once, you’d found him beaten and bloody in an alleyway outside of the boy’s dormitories, appearing half-conscious and you’d chosen the option to patch him up. after that, your intimacy levels skyrocketed and he was back to normal.

just before the two of you exchanged a kiss during one of the date events, the screen glitched and suddenly armin laid in a pool of his own blood. armin’s face became pixelated, which was unusual for this game since it was known for its graphics. was this part of the game? your heart skipped a beat, gooseflesh rising on your arms as levi entered the place armin was just moments before.

levi’s appearance glitched in places, the blood spatter on his face seeming to drip and become more realistic. that… wasnt supposed to happen. did the game have a bug? you think you see levi’s brow twitch, his lips tugging into a frown, but you cant be sure.

“[name]… why did you leave me?” levi is uncharacteristically upset with you, his face scrunched with what seems to be a mixture of frustration and hurt. “i thought you loved me.”

you knit your brows, trying to exit the route; to your horror, youre unable to leave. levi grows increasingly upset the more you click the button, “why are you on his route? can’t you see that youre mine? we’re made for each other!” he shouts, his voicelines glitching in places.

“why can’t i leave the damn route?” you grit out, one hand gripping the hem of your shirt. “what the fuck is going on?”

levi’s face falls, a far away look in his eyes as you are finally able to exit armin’s route. you groan, leaning back in your chair as you thread a hand through your hair. “is this part of levi’s secret route?” you wonder aloud.

after that, you didn’t touch the game for days. you searched forum after forum, site after site, searching for answers. why did levi suddenly appear on armin’s route? surely, it was part of levi’s secret route… right? your gut told you otherwise, but a game character being sentient? that was something that only happened in fanfiction, and certainly not to you.

a week had come and gone before you even thought about touching the game. you were busy with work, college, and still hadn’t found the answers you were looking for. maybe you’d be able to find them in-game… but what if levi kills another love interest? what if they don’t come back when the game resets? what if —

shakily exhaling through your mouth, you release the tension in your shoulders, cracking your fingers as you hover over the next love interest’s route. she was a very bubbly love interest, her smile bright and contagious enough to have one of your own tugging at the corners of your lips as you right-click on hange’s route.

the two of you interacted quite well, your natural dialogue choices furthering your intimacy level. hange was known to be a relatively easy route — not much reading between the lines, or even guesswork. she was very upfront for the most part. you found yourself forgetting about your secret investigation, genuinely losing yourself to the interactions between yourself and hange.

you only started getting suspicious again once you noticed the silhouette in the background once more. hange seemed to notice too, but she was more composed than armin had been. you squint as the silhouette flickers, your pulse thrumming in your throat as you quickly stutter out, “levi, leave hange alone or i’ll never play your route again.”

the silhouette rushes to the screen, stumbling over its words and blubbering about how it just loves you so much and can’t live without you! the anonymity fades, leaving levi in its place, and you realize that levi was more dangerous than you’d initially thought. hange is quick to take her leave once she notices the look in levi’s eyes, and you attempt to as well. levi’s anger flares up once more at the sight of your cursor clicking the exit game button.

“[first name] [last name], stop trying to leave me. why don’t you want me anymore? you can’t make me love you and then leave. you’re so cruel.” levi’s digits grip his collar, tugging it away from his throat as if he couldn’t breathe. “i-i learned things about you, for you — i tried my best to be the man you wanted, so why are you choosing other people?! am i not enough?!”

a chill shoots down your spine, cold washing over your body as your stomach tightens. you tuck your fingers into your palm, beginning to feel as if you were glued to your seat. how did he know your last name? you don’t remember putting that information in at all… maybe it was from your email? maybe the developers had a third-party thing going on?

levi becomes more frantic the more he speaks, pleading and begging for you to love him again. “i was your first route! you put the most effort into me! you can’t just leave!!” you have a creeping feeling that he’s looking at you — unlike most games, levi seems to lack a blank stare, and instead seems entirely focused on you.

“there’s no way he’s sentient.” you mumble to yourself, pressing a quivering hand to the damp skin of your forehead. “i’m just…. im just tired and stressed. yeah… i should just go to bed.”

you stumble out of your chair, body on autopilot and mind reeling as you put your monitor in sleep mode and push your chair under your desk, trudging over to your bed in disbelief. you tuck yourself in, and just before you’re able to fall asleep, you hear levi speak.

“you look so cute when you’re sleeping…” you hear his shaky breaths — the utter glee in his tone, as if he were more than content just to watch you. dread and unease fill your stomach as you realize you can’t ignore this anymore.

you shoot up in your bed, chest heaving and eyes blown wide as your gaze snaps to your monitor. could he see you? could he hear you? were you going crazy?

you slowly make your way over to your monitor and pull up your game, levi dreamily staring back at you as if you’d hung the stars in the sky. “are… you sentient?” your voice wavers as you ask this, fingertips digging into the hard plastic of your desk.

levi stills, his idle animation unusually stiff. for a moment you wonder if you should check yourself into the nearest hospital, but then, “you finally noticed… oh, baby, that makes me so happy— i’ve been trying to get your attention for so long!”

it’s your turn to still, your body going rigid and exhaling shakily. oh, you were royally fucked. if he was sentient, could he leave the game? god, you hope not.

“i’ve been watching you for so long! i even learned about your parents and your siblings for you! i know your address, the names of your friends; i know your all favorites, i know that you have a dog named rufus, i know that you like to listen to music while you clean —“

levi drones on and on, going over everything he’s learned about you during the time he’s been watching you. your breathing grows heavy and erratic; sinking into a primal state of fight or flight, you hurriedly try to uninstall the game from your computer, but it seems levi had already anticipated this. the screen glitches, flashing white as levi appears in different places — duplicates, different routes, pictures of you, npcs that went missing, hastily written notes all dedicated to you.

deciding that deleting the game wouldn’t work, you opt to unplug your computer. the screen stills for a moment, going completely black before a variety of coding begins to type out on the screen.

“leave me alone!” you shout, your voice cracking as you rip your monitors and pc off of your desk, throwing them across your room. they bounce off your dresser, knocking a few trinkets and such off, sending them clattering to the ground. you notice the coding slows for a moment, eyeing the shattered hardware scattered across your bedroom floor. “you’re just a game!! i don’t actually love you!”

“you’re wrong!!” levi’s voice is distorted and distant — glitching out in some places, or manifesting as a multitude of voices, some higher, some lower in pitch. “you love me — you do! i know you do!”

you panic, the cortisol and adrenaline running through your veins clouding your sense of judgment as you rush to your kitchen and grab a trash bag, picking up a baseball bat from a closet on your way back to your room. you hastily throw your setup in the bag and grip the bat, swinging the metal bat back and smashing the contents of the bag until you feel safe and can’t hear the whirring of the code any longer. you stumble back onto the edge of your bed, staring at the bag as you strain your ears for any signs of levi. heaving a sigh, you wipe the sweat from your brow and gather all the miscellaneous pieces of your setup that were strewn across your floor, placing them in the bag.

you feel disconnected from your body as you bring the bag outside, opening your garbage can and tossing them in. a drop on your face shocks you out of your stupor, but you realize that it was only a drop of rain. your fingers tremble still, your breathing still erratic as you try to calm your racing heart. how was any of this even possible?

you slowly trudge back inside your home, entering your room and collapsing on your bed. this must be a bad dream. it has to be; there’s no way that this could happen. you lie awake for awhile, your mind spinning round and round again. thoughts come and go, never staying for too long, and you forget them immediately after they depart. the events of the night had worn you out, your eyes growing impossibly heavy, drifting off into a deep slumber.

outside, the monitor screen flickers to life. code rapidly pans down the screen, sparks flying as a hand slowly peels out. carefully, levi drags himself out of the game and into…. wait, why is he in a trash can? surely, his beloved wouldn’t…? with haste, levi tracks his way inside your home, brows furrowed with quiet rage. how could you just throw him away like that?

levi takes his sweet time cleaning up, lathering himself in your products and sniffing your towel before drying himself with it. he runs his fingers along the countertops, walls, and doorframes, trudging along to your room as he admires your home. it isn’t long before he finds you sleeping soundly atop your bed sheets. levi’s breath instantly catches in his throat, his heart racing in his chest as he approaches your slumbering form. you were even prettier in person.

carefully crawling onto your bed, the pads of his fingers tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, trailing down to your shoulders. his eyes wander to your exposed flesh before flickering back up to your lips. one kiss couldn’t hurt, right? carefully leaning down, levi molds his lips to yours; his heart nearly stops the moment he tastes you. one kiss isn’t enough. he needs more! levi unbuckles his belt and ties your hands to the headboard, then drags his hand along your chest, swallowing thickly as he feels his pants tighten.

levi quietly positions himself between your thighs, burying his head in your neck as he leisurely grinds his cock into you. biting his lip to muffle his whimpers, he lifts your shirt, baring your breasts to his greedy eyes. levi immediately latches onto one, his tongue swirling around the erect flesh as he works your pajama pants to the side.

“need to taste you, baby.” he murmurs. levi kneels between your thighs, his tongue slowly lapping at the arousal that had begun to leak from you. he takes but a moment to shimmy his pants down far enough to fist his cock, slowly pumping it with his free hand. the man softly groans into your folds, a sleepy whine parting your lips in response.

as he continues lapping at you, levi feels his stomach tighten and stops all movement. he waits for the feeling to subside, then aligns himself with your entrance. he shallowly thrusts into your cunt, slowly working his way inside and bottoming out with a broken whimper. levi’s mind spins at the way your walls grip him — the feeling almost as if he were made to fuck you, as if you were made to take him. his fingers grip your hips as he attempts to control himself, pressing both of your legs further out for easier access.

it isn’t long before levi loses himself in the feeling; it is his first time after all. his hips snap into yours, whimpering and whining through gritted teeth all the while, and you slowly begin to wake. levi’s eyes roll back as the feeling in his tummy snaps, not once stopping as he pumps you full of his cum.

you let out a confused moan, your eyes slowly adjusting to see levi’s fucked out face gazing down at you. “f—feels so good…” he whispers, slotting his lips to yours. you attempt to shimmy away, but it was to no avail; the asshole had tied you up. you attempt to fight him off, but it’s to no avail as he’s stronger than you and has shackled you to your bed.

waves of unwanted pleasure course through your body, forcing soft whimpers and whines from your lips as levi unknowingly rocks his hips into the places that have your eyes rolling back. gazing down at you with something akin to reverence, levi presses the pad of his thumb to your clit, slowly circling his name and bringing you closer to your climax.

“cmon, baby.” levi groans, feeling your walls tighten around his cock. “cum f’me.”

you simply shake your head in response, screwing your eyes shut and murmuring through a whimper, “go fuck yourself.”

levi only chuckles at your words, seemingly amused, and lifts your hips; the man slings an arm around your lower back, one hand gripping the meat on your hip, and forces you to meet his thrusts.

nothing seemed real at the moment. you were unable to stop levi from leaving the game, and now the man was taking advantage of you. you suppose the only good thing in this situation is that despite it all, levi was going to make you cum.

your back arches as your fingers dig into your palms, your cunt pulsing and fluttering as your eyes roll into the back of your head. a high-pitched whine erupts from your throat, levi smirking victoriously at the sight beneath him, and you relinquish control; melting into his hold, you wordlessly beg for more.

you didn’t know what would come after this, nor did you know how you were going to fight your way out of it. the only thing you knew is that this felt good. somewhere deep in your mind, you knew you didn’t want this, but had decided to relish in the feeling of being desired for the time being.

[junglejim4322]

there is a guy who i met through my job, we were the first to come out to each other at work, myself as bigender intersex fag and him as a gay guy. but i have like man pussy and huge tits im literally gandalf big naturals. im very feminine even though im a man. trying to present more androgynous this year. anyways over the years like he was really accepting towards me being a gay man, he would flirt with me, and we had kind of a situationship going on, and he's like, called me just to say my name into the phone a lot and chat, he's cuddled with me, he's been very intimate w/me except when it comes to sex or like, kissing. so we've been like cuddling and going out places together but not kissing or sex. and he would flirt with me about wanting to be my sub, i used to make him laugh and blush a lot, he's said he's attracted to me multiple times before. and recently when we were all out drinking i was complaining bc i never like fag out, i mostly fuck women because im just like. scared of men (except him). i was saying like damn i need like a subby bisexual nonbinary man and like hes been back and forth on whether or not he's bi - my friends all said i was delusional for thinking so - but then he like outright said "damn that's like exactly me it's too bad im unavailable" like WHY would he say that 😭 but what shocked me was moreso that he actually IDs as bi now, but he says he never goes for women because he's scared of interacting with the phenotypical female form, but then he was like "ive always known im attracted to ftms even before i knew i was gay" ... and im like his only transmasc friend, we have an inside sort of joke where I tell him "sorry my transition is taking so long" ... ...during that same convo at drinks he started saying to me like "by all means [myname] you're very attractive to me, like i find you to be a beautiful woman, you're attractive to me" (im bigender and have complained abt not having my womanhood affirmed also just fyi) but like.... like what am I supposed to do here. another friend who knows us both says he only says he's attracted to me to make me feel better. but i know him well enough to know i can't make any moves on him because he'll be like. idk. like i can flirt with him and such but i can't like ask him out or do anything with him. so like am i crazy. is he crazy. are we both crazy. is there something here or is he using me for emotional support since i gas him up all the time and reaffirm how beautiful he is while he continues to fuck other guys. like should i just give up on this guy or is this like a slow burn long ass thing where i should wait and see if he suddenly figures out if he wants to deal with man pussy like he literally repeatedly says hes attracted to. am i just not man enough since im femme. Thoughts

This may be a harsh stance (and it probably applies in a very different way for nonbinary people) but I do not ever get involved with people who are unsure of their sexuality/exploring it at least in a way where I’d be an outlier and I do not recommend any other openly queer people do either. They have their own issues to work through etc etc but you can end up dragged all over the mud in the process. It also sounds like he sees you as a woman but im not sure how you’d feel about that or if im wrong. Good luck but I’d let this one go imho bc so much is going on also I never would’ve read this if you didn’t put something as intriguing as “im literally Gandalf big naturals” in the opening statement so good job on that Gandalf big naturals..

[momaphobic]

Random thoughts about Aphmaus Fanbase circa 2015-2018ish, MCD & Mystreet,internet culture around that time

Like most people on the internet I want to share my thoughts on something I am very passionate about

My thoughts on MCD

When it comes to MCD I truly love the story and was upset when she ended it in 2017 but know that i look back on it i understand why people were upset with the aph x garroth or aph x laurance because it did seemed very rushed thru/incomplete and due to aphmau recieveing mass amounts of hate im sure that didnt help either ,which i understand why someone would be upset about a ship they very much enjoy and it not being canon but what i dont understand is why people were saying horrible things to aphmau for their ship not being canon ( i mean srsly was it ever that big of a deal?) , but i feel like people got so focused on the ships in MCD it completely overshadowed the main story

Aphmau Fanbase 2015-2018ish

i always see tons of people online saying they were huge fans of mcd and mystreet and dont understand why she cancelled it/huge change of content and I have a theory about this kind of. I feel like the fandom at this point was split really into two main age groups 8-12 and 15-18, I know that doesnt seem like a huge age differnce in groups but I was around 7-10 When i first started watching aphmau and was not really aware of the situation going on (probably due to the fact that most of it was address on platforms like insta,twitter and a maybe few live streams on yt and i didnt rly know how to have a social media like back then) so when all the rumors that aphmau had dealt with in the past had resurfaced recently this was my first time hearing about them despite being in the fandom since 2014-15. Hearing about how Aphmau had to deal with all that unnecessary hate absolutely broke me knowing how a few people probably ruined a fandom and how we might never actually get a finished story is very sad but also Aphmau’s content now is very targeted towards children and understanding why she changed her content is her way of still being able to do what she loved and while avoiding hate

Internet culture around this time

I know internet culture sounds weird but i would say 2010-2019/20 i feel like the internet was still kind of like a town in the middle of the midwest like slightly deserted but enough human life to have small communities around ( most the time communities involving alt fashion,video games, just “nerdy” hobbies, also,unfortunately,a bunch of very triggering stuff being highlighted and glamorized(this was probably more around 2007-10 tho)) the most recent example i can think of is tiktok when tiktok first got put in place i very much remeber furry,gamers and cosplayers getting along and their being a social consequences when someone was outed for being a not so good person or just being a bully. Nowadays I cant imagine someone saying those things to aphmau and getting away with it considering how people will dig thru a influencers past internet history and find things from 10yrs ago im sure people would be able to find some random leaving hateful messages towards her and telling them to stop or sending a bunch of comments n messages to them

This is totally a rant post lol Ive just been thinking alot abt the whole situation since they have announced mystreet season 7 and im very excited for the future of mystreet and aphmaus roleplays and im hoping for a little bit more accountability in the fandom so we dont repeat the past. if u made it this far sorry if nothing makes sense its 4am 😭 and i needed to write out my thoughts or i was gunna go crazy. Goodnight yall 🤩🤩😛😛

[arolesbianism]

Every now and then I remember that oni in fact will eventually have more lore added and I get so excited and scared for a moment and then I remember that it could take months until we see any of that and I proceed to forget abt it again and the cycle repeats

[sockboioioing]

Some doods

i was messing around with human forms of the sins, i thought it’d be cool to think about them being like. Ancient kings of long lost countries or something, idk

Trying to figure out Vaggies old armor for back when she was an exorcist. i wanted to make it more angular than lute’s cuz she ended up getting too curious about heaven and turned ‘evil’ for an angel in my rewrite, so shape language yada yada. I also added those horn thingalings as a bit of foreshadowing. I just wanted to give her an actual reason for being cast out instead of “feeling sympathy for a conveniently placed sinner child” i wanted to tie in the thing sera said to emi about how she “didnt want her to look too closely into heaven or else she’ll end up fallen” and allat

Im actually obsessed with my redesigns for pentious, like hes probably my fav alongside Rosie and Mimzy, he looks so silly! I wanna make his crush on Cherri waaay slower developed than in the show, cuz it was out of nowhere tbh. His love language is throwing bombs at each other ❤️

Mammon’s human form is probably my favorite of the sin’s human forms just cuz of how stupid he looks, like he was just ripped out of a fairytale or something

I plan on making Husker and Angel’s relationship develop slower as well, and i recently watched a video about the original pitch of the story, and i liked that way better than how it played out in the show, like just little things that grow their bond together more and stuff like that. I also think it would be a good juxtaposition with my redesign of Al pushing this whole smiling thing, even thought he’s physically unable to smile himself cuz of how his mouth is in his sinner form

I also recently watched a video where Al’s pilot singing VA sang “you’re never fully dressed without a smile” from Annie and ive been going insane over it, like that song is so him coded its insane

I also rlly miss Al’s pilot voice cuz it felt more 30’s to me and i miss the stronger radio effect a lot 😔

Luci, Al, and Charlie true form concept doodles, along with a lil Chaggie doodle below cut

I was fooling around with the true, more demonic forms of some of the hazbin characters, and i wanted to draw a bit of chaggie so i did that too loll, i wanna say trueform!lucifer is like. Founding titan sized

I gave vaggie a tweaked version of her pilot getup if u couldnt tell

[shazzbaa]

hi!! I really like your art and your oc :D (well, i only know one of your ocs fhdgfhs) anyways, just wanted to ask something about Samuel because im just. very curious. why is he even making those (most often) horrible choices in terms of like, in-character explanation?? hope that this doesnt sound rude or anything, im actually asking because my own FL character (who is based on me. which ALSO makes them a bit too similar to Poor Edward both in personality AND ALSO IN THE WAY THEIR FACE LOOK?? but i digress) also tends to make those Horrible Choices but their reason is "too much curiosity, too much impulsivity and too much sensory-seeking". anyways ive just noticed that your and my characters keep making the same choices most of the time (which is really funny to me fhdgsfd) so i wanted to know what are. Sam's reasons for this

alsdjfaeslfj omg thank you, THIS IS VERY BROAD it honestly depends on the choice!! Some of it is impulsivity, some of it is that he's more comfortable confronting things physically than he is thinking things through -- so, like, he will often not cautiously analyse something before touching it/sticking it in his mouth/etc because he's not good at cautious analysis and he feels he's more likely to get information by interacting with it. And the consequences are, like, bad, and he'll think to himself "ugh what an idiot why did i do that," but deep down I think he really feels it's better to be in pain and understand than to do nothing.

Some of his poor choices are similarly intentional in that he would rather be the one doing the unwise thing -- he made the pact with the Boil of Calamaties so that Peter didn't have to. Some of his poor choices are out of fear -- he's been frightened of dream shenanigans ever since he got threatened by October, and he recently got a choice in a dream that made him AWARE he was in a dream someone else was controlling and he just freaked out and did whatever seemed like it would get him out the fastest, without much careful consideration because he was panicking. He also wants to be Part Of Something and that desire can be manipulated -- agreeing to go to war for the Bishop of Southwark and participating in the Black Ribbon were both due to someone he had feelings respect for presenting it to him as a grand and greater cause, even if he later had second thoughts. Things that speak to his own beliefs (or challenge those beliefs) are things he's more likely to NEED to poke his nose into, to figure out what he's supposed to believe down here.

And, of course, despite his (at this point somewhat debatable) status as a deacon, Samuel is very, very bad at chastity. He is extremely easy to seduce, though I usually headcanon the Scandalous Encounters he has as someone coming on to him first. Sam also has a bit of Struggling To Correctly Read Subtle Cues which leads to him accidentally tripping into affairs and then being too awkward and into it to back out (this is what happened with the Provost).

And then, this is Fallen London. Sometimes there aren't GOOD options. Sometimes you just don't have knowledge. Sam's first disastrous zee voyage went awry when he fed his crew a zee monster that made them all ravenously hungry and ended with him getting eaten by his crew. But without knowing that's how it's going to go, the idea of "oh man, this is where rubbery lumps come from, right? We could make some ourselves!" is not any more unreasonable than the decision to go to zee in the first place. He just didn't know.

[x--sinner--x]

i have sent you a bunch of asks anonymously ever since i started following you, and you recently hit me up in dms…

its so hard playing nice and being mysterious when i just want to confess so badly!!!

for now, can you just tell me what you would do if you found me crying in public, panicked because i got lost?

(i hope this doesnt give me away 🙈 if u figure me out in dms, ill let you know every anon ask ive ever sent🫶)

Awww im so glad for all your asks and for following me. It really means a lot to me, but it's going to be really tough to identify you. I have had many people dm me and I have dmed people too but I'm bad with usernames so it might be hard for me. But if you wanna talk or confess you know where to find me.

------------------------------------------------------

So if I find you crying in public and you tell me that you are lost, I'll first do what anyone would do. First I'll check if you have any wounds or cuts anywhere on your visible body. I have to make sure you are pristine for me. Then I'll offer you a ride back home, but it's such a very big area, you might be stuck with me for you don't know how long. But I offer it to you nonetheless.

You will have no choice but to accept my offer and we walk towards my van. I make small talk to you asking where you came from, and how you ended up getting lost - just getting to know you a bit better.

On the drive, I'll make you feel comfortable and I'll make you laugh and lower your guard, enough to let me touch you. I causally start touching and rubbing your thighs but you don't say anything because you trust me now. My incessant touches only get progressively worse as I constantly have my hand on your thighs as I keep driving.

Since I'm in control of the van and know the area very well I take you to a much more secluded place and you don't even notice anything because you trust me enough to think we are going in the right direction. Once we are far and deep inside, that's when you will see a completely different side of me.

My hands will grab at you, you will push yourself against the van door, but I'll have you by the hair and I'll pull you closer to me, yanking your tits out of that shirt you are wearing. I'll bring both your hands together and tie you up because i just so happen to have some rope just beneath my seat for quick access. I also have some duct tape which i use on your mouth to shut you up, and I use my handy dandy knife to cut your clothes, getting you all naked in the deep, dense and lonely forest.

I'll push you into the empty back seat - conveniently set up with a mattress for long travels. But only that mattress knows what has transpired on it. You were definitely not the first and would be the last either. I push your naked body on the mattress and take you how I want to, in whatever position I want - and you would have no choice but to comply.

I'll push your face into the mattress while I pound into your pussy, and then I'll quickly start spanking your ass cheeks and feel them turning red like the palm of my hand, and I'll come to the side and push my cock in from the side in a spoon position until you squirt all over the mattress and you even start crying from it all. I'll grope your tits like I fucking own them, digging my nails into them and drawing blood from them, pinching your nipples and seeing them getting harder from me violating you. Your eyes will roll to the back of your head and your muffled moans echo across the backseat of the van, even through the duct tape. You see, your body never lies and it's evident from the way your pussy just instinctively just latched itself around my cock, pushing it in even deeper, making me cum that much faster, messing up my own mattress. You had been waiting for this to happen to you. You weren't lost, oh no no no, you were just waiting for an old man like me to find his damsel in distress and take advantage of you in every way possible, just so you can prove to yourself that you mean something to someone in this world.

You know what you mean to me? A hole for me to put my cock in and you should be grateful for that your entire life. If you think I'm gonna just push you out of the van and drive away, you would be sorely mistaken. I would have done that if you were someone else, but your tight pussy wrapping itself around my cock convinced me otherwise, so I have a new plan for you.

I'm gonna take you back to my home and keep you as my pet to use and abuse.

[vind3miat0r]

Project Meridian Theories

brought to you my yours truly

(putting it under the cut once again)

ALRIGHT. SO.

using information from the new audio, i think we might be able to rule out time loop?? its still a possibility, but ive looked it over and i feel like other things are more likely

so far we have:

— a simulation loop/stuck in a simulation

— taking it at face value and Asset actually having gotten sucked into an alternate universe

— yknow how the brain relives moments before it dies n stuff? same thing applies. could be Asset literally about to die and theyre remembering the events leading up to their death

— past/future time travel fuckery

a lot of the evidence can still support the simulation theory, but some of the new evidence points to other directions. i think the "alternate universe" thing holds some weight, but considering that we were quite literally thrown into that ending, i think we should take it with a grain of salt. we have NO idea who this new James is, so even if the alternate universe theory is true, he still could be lying to us about his motives (you do NOT start a conversation with "im gonna save your life"). still, we can reuse the evidence from the time/simulation loop theory and slap "alternate universe" on it, and it can still make sense

the "Asset is dead and reliving their last moments" theory is quite literally a crack theory i came up with. it could be that the entirety of both SW and SR are Asset remembering the events leading up to their death, or it could only be SR. not a lot of evidence to support it, but something to keep in mind

if im being honest, im kinda iffy with the time travel theory. we know that holding people in time is a thing (Avior being trapped in the Meridian for two years from his perspective, but it actually only having been less than thirty minutes in real life), but thats about as far as our knowledge with it comes to timey wimey stuff and the Meridian. not to mention, we STILL dont know when Project Meridian takes place. im assuming its at least after Sovereign State, since "two emissaries from the Meridian" were mentioned in an audio before this whole ordeal 

i saw some people pointing out that alternate!James (as ill be calling him) sounded a lot like the James in the recent patreon teaser audio. i had read that audio as being set in the past, before James and his Spouse were married and were much younger. but, it is an interesting connection nonetheless

reusing the evidence from the time/simulation loop theory, the time travel theory can be made plausible. all the weird instances (the phone calls, the PA system, etc) could be interference from either the past or the future. again, since we a) dont know how exactly time travel would work using redactedverse logic and b) dont know when PM takes place, its not exactly a solid theory, but it does hold some weight to it

some of James' behavior could also support the time travel theory. as said by my wonderful friend Galaxy: "What if it's past James but he's from the future. Like he did the experiment, it failed, by some miracle James managed to time travel back, essentially surviving. And the past James and Spouse audio, with him freaking out, it's because he knows something bad is going to happen, but he obviously can't say that because that's crazy. Maybe that's why he's stressed out in the audio"

not to mention James seemingly brushing off Asset essentially getting bitchslapped out of the Meridian and the massive amount of new data they acquired. hes already seen it all before, so he has nothing to worry about

in the end, it think the most plausible and likely theory on this list is the alternate universe one, as that seems to be where the story is going with this. then again, we dont have all of the details, and Erik does love a good plot twist

uhh thank you for coming to my ted talk :3

[bloodsadx]

even the years that i retroactively have viewed as the most useless of my life have paid off. ive met and befriended many of my heroes from when i was down bad and doing nothing. however in spite of this any time im down im still like. well. i guess im going to jump into the fargo life size human mulcher and deboner (in order to become less full of blood). anyway every time im in an uber with my buddy anne she says the word transexual minimum like 6 times no matter what the vibe of the driver is and last night the uber driver told us to try the following pick up lines (which he called “jaw droppers”): when a girl asks your favorite food, say that “[you] don’t care about stuff like that, [you] want to get to know the flavor of [her] taste buds.” he insisted she’s never heard some shit like this before, so she’ll either like it and you’ll start making out, or if she’s “a more polite woman” she will be like ok ok, and at that point you say “i’m not trying to nourish your body, i’m trying to enrich your soul.” he said that you say that, this being the “jaw dropper,” and then you “can shove your tongue down her throat.” well me and my buddy anne were losing our minds in this uber. and then she started saying the word transsexual to refer to her previous partners and the guy became strictly quiet. well anyway. the moral of the post is, if you walk around a lot, you notice more stuff. i’ve been walking about 10-15 miles a day for the past few weeks and something i’ve been noticing a lot is one specific sticker around portland which ive seen i think sincerely about 300 different places in the past week. and i’ve been walking some really not well trodden, very annoying routes, and this guy has been putting stickers up in some really strange and not even particularly visible spots. and the thing is, i kind of don’t even like this guy’s sticker, but i do really like seeing it, so i really respect that guy. and last night i made direct eye contact with a guy as he put down a slice of pizza and took out a paint marker to write on a trash can. me personally if i made direct eye contact with someone as i was about to write on a trash can i would probably not do that.

i’ve been making draft posts like this when i get home from a long walk and then not posting them nearly explicitly because i don’t want a bunch of people to read them. sometimes i let one fly and it does get like a hundred notes and i just get pissed off. a few months ago i got so mad about something i kept hitting the ground with sticks as hard as possible and trying to suplex trees and victorian house porch support beams at my friends houses. not to test my strength but rather to feel completely indignantly impotent and to feel myself fail against the weight of the world. i got into a bad car crash and have been disallowed by the weight of the world from driving endlessly and aimlessly through the country and instead have endlessly and aimlessly wandered by foot through a place i have lived in for 3 years but only recently have come to feel like i have any knowledge of. so its hard to say which years are more useless. the years where i was doing stuff people gave a fuck about or the years where i was doing stuff that hurt my legs and feet and i saw more stuff? well at the end of the day i suppose nobody can say for sure…after all, on the internet, nobody knows i’m a seaman.