#ive been crying for 20 minutes
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my mom just broke my melog (from she-ra) mug and im so upset i got nauseous
#i get very very attached to physical objects (autism)#and this is a mug i bought from a brazilian online store in 2020 or 2021 that only existed for a year max#so like theres absolutely no way i can find another one and replace this#theres gotta only be like a few hundred people who have one of these in the entire world#and ive used it basically every single day for the past 3 years unless i wasnt home#this is the worst day of my life#ive been crying for 20 minutes
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this is not my fault. this is not my fault. this is not my fault.
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🍷<3
#when i got hashtag sick i was in hospital and i was doing my regularly scheduled call with my dad#and i really had no plans of telling him bc ive done that before and its not like he can scare the MS away or anything#i dont know what happened. maybe because it was such a fucking bad episode. maybe because i was so tired. maybe it was a secret 3rd thing#but one minute was like fine then i just burst into tears and i was crying so hard which is MEGA EW BC IM NOT A CRIER LIKE THAT#and my dad freaked out and he was like whats wrong and i didnt wanna tell him but I also sounded insane bc i spontaneously started sobbing#and he was getting more alarmed and i was upset that id upset him and so i just spat it out i was like 'listen king'#'its no biggie but my body is trying to kill me again and im just a little sad atm' and he replied 'baba why wouldnt you tell me?'#and this man who has a very big serious job literally dropped everything and took a 20 hr flight over#and he genuinely just grabbed one of his work suitcase because he showed up with nothing but dress shirts and his laptop#and i think maybe it healed me a little. i mean it def also made me sad too but mostly healed me#and he'd been here for a couple of weeks and he left today and i feel shit about being sad about it#again because he has a very big and very serious job and i genuinely dont understand how he even just showed up like that#so I felt guilty throughout#anyway i dont think he drinks anymore but i was like king have a sip of wine with me and he did and it was lovely#and I hope I become my fathers daughter and not my mother's child. praying to both our gods#heres to healing ❤️🩹
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my sweet little baby man is no longer with us
#he had his bloodwork done yesterday and the vet said it was fine but he doesnt have much time left#and my bestie is a vet tech who wanted to see the lab results bc she always does and she looked at them#and asked me if she can shiw them to her boss today and i was like sure and immediately knew something was up#today keekki was being himself#then i went to run some errands and when i came back he was laying in front of the front door with his tiny baby head against it#and i was like ''oh ok one of his seizures?''#and theyre like. keekki will drool and not move and they usually last for like 20 minutes (several vets have no idea whats up with those#but it was probably either a kidney or a blood pressure thing)#anyways. it did not pass in 20 minutes so i Knew#i laid on the floor next to him#then my bff sent me a message asking me if i have the time to talk about keekki and its not good news#at this point i was about to call the vet anyways#and she was like ''ok i showed these to my boss (a vet) and she got super angry that ur vet even let you leave the clinic''#bc apparently keekkis bloodwork was so bad he should have been put down then and there but my vet was like a fresh half graduate#so i dont hold it against her. anyways i got an euthanasia appointment for this evening and spent the time before it laying on the couch#crying with keekki in my arms#i had to carry him bc he couldnt really walk without stumbling and falling down#when i had to get up to get his carrier and stuff ready he was taking a nap on the couch where i left him and i took this pic#anyways worst vet visit of my life i could hardly even do anything but nod half the time bc speaking results in me sobbing#anyways. this fucking sucks#i dont know how ill be able to sleep tonight#its been years since i last slept at home without having a little guy plop into my arms#i spent a long time with him in the vet room when he was gone#it feels surreal ive given him his last ever forehead kisses#as i left the room i told him bye the exact same way ive been saying bye to him for the last very many years ive had him#its always moikka keekki before i go to work or the store or literally anything#and that was my last moikka keekki#i hope he felt how loved he was#my dad is sending me older pics of me and keekki and he looks so happy in them. hes always right next to me#idk man im going to stop rambling now
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This came to me in a vision
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i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am normal i am fine i am nor
#this isnt a cry for help this is in fact about my blorbos#and you. you know who you are. when i GET YOU bro when i fucking GET YOU ITS OVER I AM IN PIECES#I HAVE WORK BUT I CANT DO IT BECAUSE IVE BEEN PACING ABOUT THIS FOR THE PAST 20+ MINUTES#I REWATCHED THE FUCKING STAIRCASE SCENE LIKE FOUR TIMES NOW I HATE YOU I HAT EYOU I AHTE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU /LH /J WHY THE FUCK WOU#AUGHOUTGHAHHGAGUGHAHGOUHGAOURRHGHAHHGHAGOUCAUSHGAHG#mars says stuff
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Guys I am dying over this update
The way I shrieked at the leshy sequence omg
#ive been crying for like 20 minutes#i literally had to step away and am makih ramen to regulate#by the fucking prophets#shut it sock#cult of the lamb#cotl
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bro its crazy how they be doing starscream dirty like this 😔😔😔😔
#IM SORRY 😭#but i had the share this masterpiece#the voice acting and the story are so beautiful#ive been crying for like 20 minutes#starscream#megatron#optimus prime#suggestive 😔😔😔#AHAHAHAHA
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im gonna fucking kill myself i just had to pay $60 for syringes for my testosterone and the ones they gave me aren't even correct. i have a huge box of syringes that are the wrong size and cant take the needles i have to use. and the needles that come with them are completely wrong. like the wrong gauge and wrong length and everything. i literally cant use these at all. what am i supposed to do with $60 worth of useless syringes.
#andre.txt#ive been scream crying about this for like 20 minutes. what am i supposed to do with these.#the pharmacy didnt even let me look at the fucking syringes before i bought them they just gave me a giant box and told me the price#they also didnt even give me my testosterone (THAT WAS READY FOR PICK UP BTW) until after i ranted to them for like 5 minutes saying ->#“my prescription is ready to be picked up. the doctor literally sent me a message saying its ready. give me my fucking testosterone”#and then they FINALLY FUCKING WENT BACK AND GAVE IT TO ME. I HATE THIS FUCKING PHARMACY SO MUCH.#what the fuck am i supposed to do with these syringes. i literally cant use them at all. like there is 0 use for them.#god. god fuck this that was a third of all of my money and it was spent on useless garbage and i STILL HAVE TO GO AND BUY SYRINGES.#vent
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That is half correct. Destiny shipping does includes you, but it's with someone else who is not Lloyd.
And that someone is Kai.
Fucking WHAT
FUCKING WHAT. YOURE LYING. YOURE LYING. OH MY FUCKING GOD. I SWEAR TO THE FSM THAT WHENEVER I FIND THE GUY WHO HAD THE BRIGHT IDEA TO SHIP ME AND THAT SPICY TAMALE MOTHERFUCKER I WILL THROW THEM SO VIOLENTLY INTO ORBIT THAT THEYLL SCATTER INTO A HUNDRED PIECES UPON IMPACT WITH THE SKY. I WILL RAIN HELLFIRE ON ALL OF YOU. WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT THIS IS A GOOD IDEA.
IM GOING TO CRY. THE MERE THOUGHT OF THAT GIVES ME SUCH A REAL AND TANGIBLE URGE TO GO INTO KAIS ROOM RIGHT NOW AND SMOTHER HIM TO DEATH WITH A PILLOW
WHY. WHY. WHY. WHAT IS YOUR REASONING. WHAT WILL YOU SAY WHEN YOU ARE THROWN BEFORE THE EYES OF AN ALL KNOWING CREATOR. HOW WILL YOU JUSTIFY YOUR CRIMES.
#(he may have overreacted)#AAAZVXKDODO#ive been PUNCHING A WALL AND CRYING LOUDLY FOR 20 MINUTES#I HATE THE INTERNET#(but alas thats just kinda the destinyshipping dynamic?#*)#morro irl account#irl morro#lego ninjago#morro ninjago#answering asks#anon asks
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Current mood: crying over how much I adore Childe
#genuinely i’ve been just. tearing up. from sheer glee#both during his boss fight just—what last NIGHT? was that really last night?#no two nights ago#and then i got him with ten minutes of his event starting#so now ive been crying over him while i watch him run around on my screen#yall i took down a ruin guard in like 60 seconds it was incredible#normally i use amber and it takes a while#but childe wiped the damn floor with him#god i love him#also has anyone noticed his outfit tinkles when he moves 🤭#it’s cute#marijn talks#genshin impact#childe#tartaglia#sorry for putting rambles in the tags yall it’s kind of unavoidable#now that searchable tags include your first 20 tags#if i want to use my organizational tags i just have to accept the fact that the world can also see my gushy rambles lol
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oh my wooden krtek clock i got from vinted, we're really in it now
#just moved out of the place ive lived for the past 26 years#and yeah now i live like 20 minutes away#but nonetheless im feeling a bit sad and lonely#then again ive been feeling sad for the past few years so like what else is new#this place doesn't really feel like home yet but i figure if i managed to cry while leaving my ugly dorm room in prague after 4 months#and also cry while leaving the guesthouse on jeju we spent 4 nights in#ill manage to feel at home here too maybe#i feel my mental health is at the rock bottom so the only way left to go is up i guess
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i have literally never made a comic before so. if this is odd looking you know what happened. rip to the three JPGs of Obama i put in here originally
#i am TOO autistic about these guys like. ive never actually had consistent enough motivation to finish A Whole Comic for anything#if this were timelapsed youd be able to see me adding the jpgs of obama and removing them an hour later#they kept making me laugh and i couldnt focus properly#anyway theyve been slightly redesigned. johns collar has been fixed and they both have new crests on their uniforms#i struggled for like 20 minutes trying to give john the right amount of red. his face flushes when hes crying/trying not to. like me fr#i dont like this that much BUT the joke is pretty funny so. up it goes. also first comic so. up it goes again#rtgame miitopia#oh no ive left the sarky comments about the table on there. oh well theyre staying now
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the internet is always hostile to people with ocd but I don't think yall understand the way you've been posting lately has me about to kill myself
#insanely bad times for people with fixations on good/evil i will tell you that#have (hopefully temporarily) unfollowed some people bc their posting is triggering the absolute worst fucking thoughts lately#and blocking tags isnt helping bc people are not tagging and they do not care#'you should be miserable while you sit safe in your home--' i am actually ive been picturing stabbing myself so hard im going to throw up#for the past 20 minutes#i think once i finish this book im uninstalling all my apps except goodreads for a while#says kenna#like. it's not personal. but im already a danger to myself and i do a decent job of controlling that but#i was late to work because i was crying and organizing every dish in the cabinet by color#i will die#��🖕🖕#tw ocd#tw suicidal ideation#idfk
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i have a clear image of the drawing in my head but i cant put it onto the canvas so im resorting to my greatest enemy... 3d models...
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yeah im trying to be positive but i am not passing statistics
#bit of a vent#but my god im just so tired of everything that i don't even care if i fail anymore#like i literally feel like i wanna crawl out of my skin and just hide away#but i can't cause if i dont finish what the hell am i supposed to do bro#i dont wanna have to retake this class and i don't think i'd survive if i did it again#cause i was so overwhelmed the entire semester that i just don't think i can take much more of this#much more of anything really cause ive been crying for the past 20 minutes#im just fucking exhausted. i feel like that all the time but rn its really hitting me
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