#they kept making me laugh and i couldnt focus properly

[soupis4ever]

i have literally never made a comic before so. if this is odd looking you know what happened. rip to the three JPGs of Obama i put in here originally

[underneaththe-waterfall]

Do you have to go pt2

PART 1

Mature content ahead* SMUT, fluff , light angst at the very end

summary: Jaebum was finally home for a day and his muscles were clearly in pain. You give him an oil message which leads to many other things. Somehow you still end up disappointed in the end.

You woke up feeling steady breathing on your neck and muscular arms holding your waist. You nearly forgot that jaebum had a day off today; It felt good to wake up together after such a while. You yawned and turned around facing jaebum and you noticed how ethereal he looked. His messy black hair rested on his forehead and he had a slight stubble. You loved this look on him. It made him look more like your boyfriend and not the idol that thousands of girls die over.

You laid there for a moment just looking at him so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t even realise that jaebum was now wide awake looking back at you with a smirk on his face. ”I know im sexy but  are you really planning to just stare at me the whole day today or...” You both begin laughing as you playfully hit his chest. After a moment jaebum pulls you close again and snuggles close to you, his nose against your back ready to go back to sleep. ”Oh no dont think your going to sleep again its already 12″ you say while moving away from him and removing the covers from both your bodies.

He groans instantly hugging himself “Its so cold can we not just stay in bed today?” You wanted to go on a whole rant about how he was never home and this was probably gonna be the only day for a few weeks you were gonna get together, and that you didn’t wanna waste it all just sleeping. But you knew if you said this it would turn into something much more serious. There was no point arguing with jaebum over something like this especially when you missed spending time with him so much. 

“Im gonna go shower and then you can go when im done and then we can head out somewhere” You wait for a response and all you hear is a mumble from jaebum saying something along the lines of ‘so bossy’ whilst wrapping himself in a blanket again with his eyes closed. You sigh whilst  heading to the bathroom and have a quick shower followed by your skincare routine. You expected to have to come and have to wake up jaebum again but he was sitting and using his phone at the edge of the bed. He got up wordlessly and headed for the bathroom once you had entered the bedroom. You put on one on jaebums loose shirts with shorts and headed downstairs to make some breakfast. 

After a while when you headed back upstairs to call jaebum for breakfast you saw him sitting on the bed holding his shoulder with a frown on his face. It was clear that he was in pain but he never liked to admit it in front of you. You walk towards him and as soon as he realises that your coming he lets go of his shoulder and heads for the wardrobe only in his towel. ”Wait, dont get dressed yet” you say while reaching for something in the drawer. “Why? do you want me to seduce you?” he says with a sexy expression followed by a laugh from the both of you .Now holding a bottle of message oil, you ushered him towards the bed. ”I’m gonna give you a message” his expression falls when he realises you saw him earlier sulking on the bed. 

“No its fine its gonna go back to normal soon anyways” he says whilst adjusting his towel which was about to drop. “Shush lay down on your stomach on the bed right now” you say while pouting and crossing his arms. He coos while looking at you and steps closer to you pressing a gentle kiss on your pouting lips. ”Okay okay you can give me a message” he says while laying down on the bed the towel still covering his lower half. You take a seat at the bottom of his back where you could see the two dimples. You apply the oil to your hands before messaging jaebums shoulders with as such strength as you could get. You went to his back after his shoulder and you felt satisfied hearing his groans. You seat yourself on his thighs messaging his lower back and eventually you were done with his back. 

“Okay turn around now” you say while getting up from his legs. He turns around and his towel lightly slips and you could see his dick , and for some reason he was half hard. A light blush covered your cheeks as you fixed the towel so it was covering him properly. When you looked up at jaebum ,he was smiling and he had a weird look in his eyes you couldn’t really understand .”So are you not gonna give me a message anymore because you saw-”.You cut him off straight away by taking a seat on his lower stomach and putting more message oil on your hands and this clearly shut him up You made sure not to make any eye contact with him as you rubbed your hands together and then began messaging his shoulders. Jaebum tilted his head back and squeezed his eyes shut biting his lips to prevent any sound coming out.

He had been tired and his muscles had been aching for a while now so when you gave him a message it felt too good. You continued to focus on the task at hand and before you realised it you were sitting directly on top of jaebums dick which was merely covered by the towel. You continued messaging him until you heard a really loud moan followed by “you’ve messaged me enough”, He quickly gets you of him and switches your positions so he was now straddling you. By now his towel was nowhere to be seen and he was exposed in front on you. You gulp while looking up at jaebum and you can see hunger in his eyes. He leans down and kisses you and his tongue enters your mouth straight away. He continues to kiss you and you push him away as you run out of breath.  

He looks at you also completely out of breath and straight away reaches for the hem of his shirt that you were wearing. You put your arms up so he could remove the shirt and his eyes fall straight away to your breasts. You had not worn a bra since you were at home and now you were glad you didn’t. He pushes you back down so your back touches the bed and begins to kiss down your neck. He continues to kiss down until he reaches to your breast. He fondles one of your breast with one hand while he marks the other. You let out a moan and you could feel that you were becoming restless. ”I cant wait any longer” you say completely blissed out looking at jaebum with hooded eyes. 

“Then ride me” 

He lays down and waits till you remove your shorts and panties and straddle him. His hands immediately reach to your hips squeezes them as you lean down to kiss him. He could feel your wet heat on his dick and the fast heart beat of your clit. It was driving him crazy. He pulled away from the kiss and tapped your thighs motioning for you to lift them up a bit. You held onto his shoulders and closed your eyes as he aligned his dick with your entrance. After a second you slipped down on his cock letting out incoherent sounds and jaebum tilted his head back and squeezed his eyes shut in relief.

It had been such a while since you had been intimate with jaebum and at this point you were both very needy. You stayed seated on him as he waited for you to adjust. It was definitely not the first time you and jaebum were having sex but since it had been a while it took you some time to adjust to his size. You felt jaebum move underneath you so you opened your eyes. You could see his hooded eyes and the way he was biting his lips and it was making you feel even needier then you felt before. You began to move and each time you moved you could feel jaebums dick drag against your walls. It felt heavenly. You slowed down your pace now getting tired and as soon as jaebum noticed this he began to thrust up into your heat. You leaned your head on his shoulder as he kept moving himself in and out of you as fast as he could.

”Im gonna-” you couldnt finish your sentence because of the knot you were feeling at the bottom of your stomach .He didn’t respond to what you said but instead moved his hand down to your clit to help your release. You let out even louder moans at the feeling of his fingers circling around your clit fast and mercilessly. And before you knew it you were coming with a loud moan followed by jaebums name. You were so blissed out that you didnt even realise jaebum had pulled out and you were now laying with your back on the bed. He inserted his cock back inside you and you wrapped your legs around his waist as he pounded into you harder and faster. You felt so sensitive after just coming but you wanted jaebum to finish to. You opened your eyes to see the look on his face he always had before he was about to cum.

You watched as he sped up hitting even deeper spots inside you as he grunted. With a last powerful thrust that nearly made you scream he came inside you. You could feel his warm juices fill you up and you groaned at the feeling. He laid down and pulled you on top on him his now half softened dick still inside you. You both stayed there wordlessly for a few moments in bliss. Just as you were laying there you heard jaebums phone ring. You both just ignored it pretending you couldn’t hear it because you both were so sleepy. After it rang the second time jaebum pulled out and you let out a small groan at the feeling of all his cum seeping out of you. He picked up his phone and it was his manager. “You guys have an interview today in like 30 minutes and all the other boys are here. i dont know why your still not here i messaged you early in the morning.” Jaebum didnt make any eye contact with you as his manager spoke. He answered back calmly “Ill be there in 20 ill get dressed from home no need to get an outfit for me” 

After that you blanked out not really hearing the rest of the conversation. You watched jaebum as he cut the phone and looked at you. You were sat on the bed completely naked and your body was littered with love bites. You had tears in your eyes which you were not aware about and to jaebum you looked like a lost puppy. He came closer to you kissing you on the lips quickly and putting the covers up so your body was covered.”Im so sorry i have to go now i promise ill be home soon.” You hummed with a small smile and that clearly reassured him that you were not upset as he straight away headed to the shower. You sat there alone in bed lost in your own thoughts and in less then 5 minutes jaebum was out the shower and getting dressed. 

You watched him as you sat feeling like shit. You still had his cum dripping down your thighs and onto the bedsheets. Your body was covered in marks and your hair was a mess. With a final goodbye jaebum was out the door and you were completely alone. Again. You knew jaebum wasn’t gonna be home soon. You were right.

 Before you knew it you both were in the same routine where you would barely see each other. It was starting to take a toll on you and for the first time in your relationship you felt like a decision had to be made. You couldn’t live like this any longer. 

MASTERLIST

Okay but IM SO SORRY IF THE SMUT WAS BAD. It was a struggle to write.

SORRY FOR ERRORS BYEEE.

[bonny-kookoo]

Bittersweet (JJK x Reader) ☕️💜🔞

🍪 Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

🍪 Genre: Barista!AU, Mutual pining, smut because this is my content we’re talking about

🍪 Warnings: mentions of sickness, mentions of vomiting, best boi Koo, coffee puns, casual y’all during sex, protected sex because we have our lives under control in this household, overstimulation, rough! Koo, spanking (like..once), doggy-style because why not, reader rides Koo for a moment before he takes the upper hand again, they’re just being a mess ok

🍪 Summary: every day she’s his favorite costumer. So when she’s suddenly absent; what’s he supposed to do without any way to contact her?

Jungkooks eyes began to sparkle as she stepped inside, wrapped up in a fluffy brown jacket, a scarf around her neck.

His scarf to be exact.

Now, they both weren't a couple- but close enough. He'd given her his scarf the day before as she'd forgotten hers at home; and due to the cold weather outside, he'd immediately gotten concerned over her health. He knew that she hated the cold- so he'd gifted his own protection against the harsh wind outside to her, uncaring about himself in that moment.

It gave him a weird sense of pride knowing that she wore it still. And as she stepped closer, Jungkook had already prepared her usual order- never forgetting to include her favorite cookies, a thing he'd memorized by now. She never quite drank coffee, but more like, milk and sugar with a drop of coffee. His coworker, Jin, had made fun of it several times in the past; he'd always stepped in however, as soon as he could see how embarrassed she got.

"Oh?" He asked, as he noticed her red nose and glossy eyes. "Are you okay?" He asked, and she giggled before coughing. He furrowed his brows. Hopefully she didn't want to go to work like that- but by now he knew her well enough to have a very big suspicion that that was exactly her plan for the day.

She rolled her eyes playfully. "Oh hey what's brewing? Looking good yourself, thanks for the compliment-" She said, trying to laugh but coughing again. "Hey look, I kind of wanted to return your scarf, but I also don't want to share my bacteria with you so- is it okay if I keep it for a bit?" She said, voice a bit muffled due to her facemask. He nodded, a slight pout on his lips.

"I know you're gonna go to work but-" He said, placing her order on the counter for her to take, as she placed down the money he took. "Can you at least go home a bit earlier? You really do look not so good." He said, doe-eyes growing a bit pleading at her as she sighed.

"I'll try, okay?" She said, and he nodded. Technically he'd ask her to promise, but he also knew how headstrong she was. The fact that she aknowledged his request was good enough for now.

"Okay." He said, smiling a bit as he waved from behind the counter as she left. "Take care!" He called out as she still waved, almost tripping over the small step outside the door as he chuckled, turning to the next costumer.

She wasn't there the next day.

Typically he should not get too worried about it, but as the week passed, she still didn't show up. A coworker of hers couldn't tell him either what was going on; only that she wasn't at work either.

So she was probably at home resting. Hopefully.

"...kook. Jungkook!" Jin called out, saving his younger coworker from spilling hot milk all over his hand. "Okay, spill the beans loverboy." He sternly said as he took him to the side, the cafe calm and almost empty as they were close to closing time. Jungkook sighed as he ran a hand over his face, groaning for a moment.

"I'm worried!" He exclaimed, no need to say out loud who he was talking about. "I know that she's an independent adult person who can surely take care of herself but what if something happened? What if she's at home too sick to take care of herself? Jin during the entire time she came here, she never missed an entire week!" He explained in pout as he let himself flop down on one of the small chairs. Seokjin sighed, before he looked at the clock.

"Go. I'll wrap things up today." He said, as Jungkook furrowed his brows. Even if he went home now, that didn't help his situation at all! "I'll give you her number and you can call her-" He started, as Jungkook suddenly jumped up.

"You have her number?! Why didn't you tell me?" He yelled, absolutely scandalized by this.

Seokjin threw his hands up in defeat. "Okay slow down, first of all you never asked. Second of all she told me not to!" He said, and Jungkooks look shifted. He suddenly didn't look offended anymore- he looked hurt. Betrayed almost.

"Why.?" He asked, now way quieter.

Jin sighed. "She wanted you to ask for it instead." He answered, and Jungkook threw his head back again, groaning as Jin laughed. "Give me your phone.." He said, taking the device from him and putting in her contact info. "There you go. Use protection kid!" He called after Jungkook, who'd immediately grabbed his phone and ran out, putting on his coat on his way.

The older one simply shook his head, smiling.

"..yeah?" The very tired voice of hers answered as Jungkook sat up straighter on his couch.

"H-Hey its Jungkook! You know, Kookie, the barista who puts in vanilla sugar instead of the lame stuff?" He said, and suddenly a laugh reached his ear, making him involuntarily smile. "Hey, I.. you didn't show up the entire week and it made me kind of worry so, I wanted to ask if you're good?" He asked, shyness slowly dying down.

Her voice sounded strained. "Yeah yeah, just great-" She said, before coughing. "Okay yeah no. Have you ever needed to sneeze but you couldnt?" She asked, and he hummed a reply, agreeing that he indeed had been in that situation before. "I feel absolutely like I'm gonna, you know, throw up, but I can't." She groaned, and his brows furrowed at that.

"I promise I don't try to be creepy here but-" He started, as he looked at his dog, peacefully sleeping next to him on the couch. "Can you give me your address maybe so I can come over? I- Listen I'm super worried, and no one should be left alone when sick." He said, and wondered if he was overstepping a line. Until he heard some shuffling, and a jingling sound.

"I'll text it to you, k? I uh.. unlocked the door now because I sure as hell won't be getting up anymore today." She said, as he chuckled.

"Oh, so you're gonna make me your maid?" He asked, and she giggled.

"Thats the plan Kookie."

"Y/N?" He called, without getting an answer. He thought about it, before trying a second attempt. "Midget!"

The answer was almost instantly. "The fuck do you mean Mid-" She tried, before coughing.

Jungkook walked inside the bedroom after searching for a moment, looking at her with a pitiful smile as he leaned against the doorframe. If she wasn't feeling so absolutely disgusting in that moment, she would've whistled at his way different outfit. After all, she mainly only saw him in his regular work attire; the black button up and ripped jeans he sported now a complete one-eighty to that. He looked so much more mature like that- now actually giving away that he was a bit older than her. Did he always have such a defined jawline? He could definitely cut a bitch with that-

Wow, exit was three miles ago.

"Done staring sugar?" He asked, and she only groaned, burying herself deeper into her massive mountain of blankets as he chuckled. "Alright. I'm gonna carry you into the living room, because I wont be spending my time in your stuffy bedroom." He said, making her giggle as she peeked out of her makeshift burrito.

"You won't?" She asked, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively before sneezing into the blankets, making him chuckle again.

"You're sick, so no." He said, and she suddenly yelped as he leaned down to pick her up. "What?" He asked with wide eyes.

"I'm sick!"

"So?"

"I'm sick."

"Heard that before." He said, crossing his arms in front of his chest. She swallowed a bit at that because- was that a tattoo staring at her? Why did she never notice his hand was inked?! She shook her head, to focus again. "You'll get sick too!" She explained, before he scoffed.

"It's not like I'm licking your face sugar, now stop being difficult." He said, as he picked her up, blankets and everything included as he carried her back, placing her onto her couch before he squatted down in front of her face. "I'm gonna heat up some soup, and you'll eat something alright?" He said, and she shook her head.

"I'm gonna throw it up." She said, a pout evident. She didn't want his hard work to simply go down the drain- quite literally.

"That's okay." He answered, as she furrowed her brows. "You probably can't throw up because you haven't eaten. People typically feel better after vomiting so it's okay. Win win situation, really." He said as if it wasn't a huge deal.

"It's gross though." She mumbled.

"It happens." He said back, as he placed the white plastic bag on her kitchen counter, filling some of the soup from the plastic container into a small bowl he had a bit of issues finding, before he heated it up in her microwave. He was absolutely terrified of using them usually, making her laugh at him every time someone brought it up, but this time he didn't care much. "Here, let me help." He hummed, as he placed the bowl and a spoon on the small coffee table in front of her couch, helping her sit up properly. "Slowly, okay? You don't need to finish it, just a bit at a time alright sugar?" He requested, and she nodded, watching him as he sat down next to her, bowl on his thigh while he blew on the spoon, careful to cool the liquid food down before offering it. She kept her eyes on his focused face as she opened her lips, accepting it as he gently smiled. "There we go. Hope it doesn't suck, Jin says I can't cook for shit." He said with a chuckle.

"Doesn't matter, I can't taste much anyways." She shrugged, as he offered another small spoonful.

He snorted a bit as he kept himself concentrated. "Well I guess I'll just have to get you better, and cook for you when your tastebuds work again." He decided, as she smiled.

"Huh?" He noticed, as the small form of her whizzed past him, practically throwing open the bathroom door before he heard her. He dried his hands, sighing as he went inside the bathroom, spotting her leaning over the toilet bowl, gripping it with pale hands. "Oh sugar." He hummed, before he squatted next to her, a comforting hand running over her back as the other gathered her hair, holding it away from her face. He hushed her the best he could, a bit of helplessness seeping into his mind as he watched her struggle. She leaned her head on the side of the bowl for a moment, breathing heavily with closed eyes. Jungkook reached for a piece of toilet paper, wiping her mouth before he continued his gentle caressing of her back. "Better?" He asked, and she nodded, before opening her eyes, tearing up. "Whats wrong?" He asked, as he helped her sit, flushing the toilet.

"I hate this." She said, angrily wiping her eyes.

"Everyone gets sick." He said with a slight smile, searching for toothpaste as he prepared everything for her to get the taste off of her tongue.

"Thats not what I meant." She mumbled, as he looked at her. "I hate that you see me like this. I'm disgusting and a walking piece of dead meat at this point, radiating germs." She huffed, as he went down in front of her, pointing her toothbrush at her lips as she opened them almost automatically. He smiled at her reaction, placing the brush inside her mouth as she took over, lazily brushing her teeth.

"I think you're still pretty." He said, as she looked at him with an unamused look in her eyes. "I feel good that you let me take care of you like this. It feels nice that you let me see you like that." He explained, as he helped her up to walk towards the sink, turning on the water as she rinsed her mouth. "I don't like you any less, of you're worried about that." He said, and she almost choked on the water inside her mouth.

She knew he liked her, romantically, yet he'd never openly said it.

"I know its a bit sudden, but I've been pretty obvious." He said, as he wiped her mouth with a towel, before smiling at her.

"If I wasn't sick right now I'd be all cliche and kiss you right now, but I can't." She said, pouting a bit as he chuckled, kissing his two fingers before placing them onto her lips.

"Indirect kiss then."

"Okay but espresso is absolutely disgusting." She said, leaning over the counter to grab a mini cookie, before yelping as Jungkook playfully slapped her hands.

"Everyone can decide for themselves, first of all, and stop stealing shit." He said as he pointed at her, gasping scandalized as she teasingly tried to bite his finger. "Really now?" He asked, and she laughed.

"Okay kids, be disgusting somewhere else please!" Seokjin yelled, grabbing Jungkook by his apron as he pushed him into the backroom, telling him to change and go home. "Yoongi and I will close up today." He said to the young girl waiting, as she nodded.

"Alright sugar, lets go and be disgusting!" Jungkook exclaimed as he emerged from the backroom, now dressed in familiar all black attire, as he scooped her up, making her laugh as they both walked out of the cafe, towards his car.

"I want you to move in with me." He said between huffs of breaths as she mewled underneath him, body shaking with every encounter with his thrusting hips. She nodded as she smiled when he leaned down to kiss her collarbone, hand running over her breasts as he teasingly pinched a nipple between his fingers.

"You'll- urgh-" She groaned, as he bit the skin. "You'll have to carry my shit though." She pressed out, as he laughed at that, leaning back as he expertly angled his hips to hit her sweet spot deep inside, making her arch her back.

"Ah- that's fine with m..me!" He stuttered as he began to put more force into his movements, sacrificing speed for strength as she hummed in delight underneath him, grabbing the pillow above her head as she started to grow restless. "You gonna cum sugar? Nice and hard?" He asked playfully as he moved his hand over her exposed clit, fingers rubbing over the sensitive bundle of nerves as she gasped in pleasure, thighs suddenly shaking as she came, clenching around him. "Hm, good girl." He hummed, before she huffed, suddenly squirming before she squealed, wetness escaping her as he chuckled, sight enough to send him over the edge as well. "There we go, giving me a show aren't you sugar?" He said, voice hoarse as he let himself lean over her again, before she suddenly grinned up at him, pulling him down and shoving a bit to get him to lay down, suddenly above him as she sunk down on his still sensitive cock.

He laghed and choked up as she continued to ride him, her own second orgasm approaching as he squeezed his eyes shut. "God- good god ah!" He yelled out between laughter at the way he could feel his own legs tremble, unsure if what he was feeling was torture of absolute heaven. "Pl-Please God, Baby you're-" He pressed out, gasping as he suddenly felt himself close to a second orgasm as well. "You're gonna kill me you fucking demon!" He exclaimed, roughly turning her around as he pulled her legs against her stomach again, thrusting with newfound strength, as she giggled and squealed. "That's what you wanted?" He asked between gritted teeth as she pressed her eyes close. "Little demon can't get enough of this dick?" He teased as she nodded, now desperately racing towards her release as he suddenly slipped out of her, adjusting the condom with a trembling hand as he manhandles her laughing body onto her stomach, pulling on her lower half as he slipped inside her wet cunt from behind, bringing his inked hand down onto her butt with a loud slap for good measure as she whined. "Oh now you're complaining? Should've known what-" He groaned out in between his words as he grabbed her thighs, pulling her against his relentless hips as she moaned out into the pillow below her. "-Should've know what you got yourself into." He finished, before she arched her back again, reaching behind her to push him off as her eyes teared up from overstimulation. As he saw her painful expression he immediately pulled out of her, pulling the condom off of his erection as he desperately pumped his length, finishing in small spurts on the arch of her back before they both collapsed, breathing heavily.

"Okay, I loved every second of it sugar but-" He exclaimed breathless, as she cuddled up next to him, throwing a leg over his body as he laughed. "What the fuck was that?"

But she simply giggled, mind still too hazy to form any words.

[witchcraft-in-wonderland]

The Rose Prince (Pt.1)

-------------------------

There were two things Roman trusted in the twisted puppet show that was his life, two things he knew werent a fabricated stage of wired and strings. His brother Remus, and his own gut.

Remus was trustworthy because he was unpredictable, everything else in the castle was a code that could be cracked, a machine that could be exploited and forced into malfunction if dealt with properly.

Remus, however, was human. You could ask him for something and maybe he would give it to you, or spit in your face, the possibilities were endless. And that's what Roman liked about it all, about the uncertainty, the changes and shifts, it meant that things wouldnt stay dull and stale and boring.

Whereas if Remus hadnt been there, all Roman would be left with was the painfully obvious whirring of cogs and gears, the blinking red lights of cameras that broadcasted the prince's every move for all the world to see, stale conversations with machines who, despite Remus' best efforts, still seemed to slip up when referring to him correctly.

This was life for the Kingdom of Roses and Ice, princes and princesses were not to be raised around other people, for fear it might corrupt them. They were to be sent to a separate castle of strings and wires, and taught there how to be the perfect stone-faced statues, the picture of grace and nobility. The perfect bride and wife, or groom and husband, and the perfect king and ruler. The process lasted until they were eighteen, where upon its end they would be married off to the husband or wife of their parents choosing, or, should they fail in the task of perfection, risk being trapped under lock and gear forever.

Roman often wondered just how many of the castle's enchanted servants were once like him, regal, special, important. He wondered what they might have done to warrant such a curse, and if he'd already done the same thing.

But he worried no more for himself than he did for Remus, Remus was uncontrollable, a wild card if there ever had been and wild cards were not tolerated in the seat of the throne room.

He wondered if there had ever been royalty who tried to keep their children in the main castle, were they sent to die here to? Perhaps forced to bare another curse? This was Roman's least favorite topic to ponder, because then he started wondering if his parents had ever tried to rebel, whether they had tried to keep their children within the true castle, safe from the curse that would befall them should they fail in the task of perfection.

"Romaaaannnnnnn," Remus' voice drawled from nearby, but Roman couldn't quite focus on it.

"Hey snot-face I'm talking to you," and then he felt a sharp tap on the back of the head.

"Ow! Remus!" Roman whirled around in his seat, holding the spot which Remus had hit.

"You're thinking again, I was getting worried," Remus said with a laugh.

"Well what did you have to go and snap me out of it for!" Roman replied angrily.

"Because when you start thinking you usually reach the topic of mom and mom and then you start crying and I really dont think crying is a good way to spend our last day in this hellhole," Remus replied, Roman gave a start and rushed to the calendar.

And sure enough, there it was, June Fourth.

Remus could have gotten out two years earlier, but, in his words 'like hell I'm going to let Roman stay here by himself, you'll have to kill me first,'. Which did in fact not make Roman feel any better, but rather much worse, who knew what an open act of rebellion might mean.

"Well I guess I better get dressed then hm?" Roman said, almost whispering, as though he dared not believe it was truly time to leave, as though he thought they might stay in the false castle forever.

But soon enough they were standing on the steps of the true palace, a grandiose structure that looked as if it were made of snow and glass and ice. Roman smoothed down the hem of his skirt and straightened his back up as best he could, his binder felt tight around his chest, he wondered whether it was nerves or something else.

"You may enter the Palace of Frozen Rose," a voice said as the doors opened, Roman felt his stomach twisting like a worm on a hook. He looked up at Remus, who merely nodded as they walked inside.

If the outside was anything to marvel at, the inside was almost twice that. Statues of all sorts lined the walls, like larger than life music box dancers. The floors glistened with light reflected from the outside, creating a variety of colors across the floor.

But Roman couldnt focus on that now, he had to keep his head forward, poised on what was in front of him, gaze never lingering elsewhere, that was what made an obedient ruler.

"Good morning, Prince Roman, and Crown Prince Remus," Roman had to hold back a sigh of relief as his mother uttered the words. They'd passed, Remus was to be a a Crown Prince, the future king, and Roman was safe, all he had to do now was marry, and he'd be happy again.

"Good morning Queen Elizabeth and Queen Belladonna," Roman and Remus said in unison, Roman's voice carrying much louder than his brother's. Roman couldve sworn he saw the hint of a smile on his mothers' faces.

Almost as soon as the introductions began, the twins were shepherded to separate parts of the castle, no doubt to prepare themselves for the men selected by their mothers'.

Moments later Roman was dressed in a white sweater that hung off his shoulders, a red hoodie wrapped around his waist, skinny jeans, and white boots. Upon his face was glittering white eyeshadow and lipstick red as blood, and just like that he felt as though he'd never left the false castle, as though he was a puppet like those that had taken care of him for eighteen years. Of course,he didnt voice this, that wouldve been a foolish decision. So he did as told, walking down the hall, smiling and waving and watching as the ballroom inched closer and closer.

Roman felt the spotlight on himself as soon as he entered the room, like a bright sun meant just to reveal himself to the world.

"The Rose Prince has arrived to the court," Roman heard someone announce, the room went quiet, Roman tried desperately to find his brother, but could see nothing. He felt himself being pulled down the stairs, all eyes were on him, burning into his skin. He heard whispers, he knew they were about him.

Roman wasnt allowed on the dance floor for more than a minute or two, immediately being taken to the throne instead. Roman watched enviously as the other guests danced and partied as he was forced to sit and stare from a gilded silver throne.

"The Crown Prince of Thorns has arrived to the court," Roman looked up, and there was his brother, dressed in robes of jade and black, looking as though he'd very much like to bite the guards escorting him to his throne.

The party carried on as though no one seemed to realize the princes weren't joining in the festivities.

And one by one the guests began to leave, until there were exactly four men standing in front of the throne. Remus was beckoned to stand, and he did so, bowing slightly when he reached his full height.

The first man stepped forward, he was short, with light brown curls of hair that had shades of blue and pink flecked throughout. He had round-framed white glasses perched on his face, and his eyes were a contrast of white that faded to a shade of pink.

"Emile Picani, Prince of Orchards," said the voice that had announced Roman and Remus' arrival. Emile gave a slight bow and looked up at Remus as if expecting him to say something scornful. Remus merely smiled, Emile waited a few seconds before rushing to stand on one side of him.

The second boy was a slight bit taller than Emile, but nowhere near the height of Remus, with light brown skin and brown hair, his eyes were a deep shade of blue that made them seem almost black in color.

"Patton Boleyn, Prince of Gems and Jewels," the voice said, Patton rushed up to stand on the other side of Remus' throne. Roman was beginning to peice together what was going on.

He watched as the third man stepped forward, taller than almost everyone else in the room, with striking yellow eyes that stood out against his dark complexion and a black hat perched on his head, his face was covered in burns, yet it didnt not take away from his features, Roman could hardly keep his eyes off him.

"Janus Ryder, Crown Prince of Serpents," Janus approached Roman's throne, removed his hat, bowed, and placed a kiss on Roman's hand before going to stand next to his throne. Roman had to struggle not to blush furiously at the gesture.

The fourth and final man was dressed in vibrant midnight blue, with specks of white scattered throughout his dress like stars, and upon his face were round black glasses.

"Logan Sanders, Prince of Stars," the voice said, Logan gave a bow, crossing his legs as he did so, and took his place next to Roman's throne.

"After tomorrow, the Prince of Roses will be escorted to the kingdom of the Crown Prince of Serpents and Prince of Stars, the Prince of Orchards and Prince of Gems and Jewels will remain within the castle alongside the Crown Prince of Thorns," Roman felt faint, he'd only been there for a day and he was expected to leave soon after? And what of Remus? Were they never to see each other again?

But he kept a blank expression on his face as he and Remus repeating their instructions, the four other princes giving various reactions, the most common of which seemed to be worry.

Soon enough their suitors were taken from the room, and Roman and Remus were alone, until finally, they were allowed to their rooms.

And Roman screamed. Never before had he felt like this, confused, upset, trapped, in all the years he'd spent in that palace-shaped prison, he'd never felt as stuck as he was now. The only solace he could find was the walls of his room, where no creature except himself could hear. So he screamed, he screamed and cried and thrashed until he felt numb and limp and sick.

One day before he was to be married off to two men he'd never so much as looked at before.

One day before he would be separated from his brother, potentially forever.

One day before he became something worse than a puppet.

One day before he became a pawn in a game he was fully aware was being played.

Prince Roman did not dream that night, not even a nightmare. He simply slept, with fear and dread sinking into his stomach.

----------------------------------------------

Tag list:

@thefivecalls

@willowaudreykeyes

@pricklyfish777

@the-sad-strawberry

@itsnithbabey

@private-snippers

@extercs-experiences

@rich-flower-17

@theonetruebeepboop

@mycatshuman

@teamplutoforlife

@melodiread

@meowthefluffy

@frawkeye

@cemmy

@nerosdayinhell

@thecolorfulolive

@frog-candy-bee

[annamusewrites]

Family isnt all about blood.

She finally was happy and felt safe, she shouldve known you cant stop running from your past and not have it catch up on you, but she doesnt want to lose her brother or her loved even if it meant she suffered.....she really shouldve expected this after all, she was a Taylor and no one walks away from that family.

It didnt really bother her that her brother never settled down with a partner, he had his reasons and trust issues that Ana knew, as long as he was safe, that's all that would matter for now. Granted, she would love for him to find someone but she wasnt going to force that on him either. They were both there for one another and he had accepted Ransom as well. Truthfully, she couldnt be happier and maybe that was the problem. Her happiness had blinded her to what was to come.

"Dads in town" those words made her drop her fork and look wide eyed at her brother but then she picked up her fork "guess he found out about my new job" her tone was flat, their Dad could go to Hell for all she cared right now. He abandoned them so he didnt exist and she wasnt going to let him play the Daddy role just because he found out his so called daughter now had money.

She felt Marty's eyes on her but she carried on with her meal "if he calls you, dont answer" she looked at him "I'm not that stupid" "i wasnt saying you were, I'm just....protective" his words made her smile, she had two protective men in her life, her brother and the love of her life and she loved them both for it "I know" she reached out for his arm "but that man isnt going to walk into our lives again after everything. He had his chances"

No more was said about that man for a couple of days, she got several missed calls from an unknown number and after checking it wasn't anything to do with her work, Ransom or his family, she blocked and ignored any more. She shouldve known ignoring him wouldnt make him go away.

"I'll be over later, just need a shower....an actual shower " she smirked into the phone "give me half an hour and I'll be there. I love you" she hing up the phone to Ransom as she walked into her house. A shower and a change of clothes was a must, she wanted to get rid of work more than anything right now.

Closing the door, she gasped as a hand went across her mouth and dragged her back, her heels falling off her feet as she tried to stay upright. She felt the coldness of the gun resting on her temple, god she wished she hadnt known that feeling and she tried not to panic but then she saw her brother on his knees, all bloodied up from what looked like beatings.

Was this to do with sleeping with the wrong gal? It couldnt of been, Ransom had made sure he knew to only go after single women and Marty wasnt that stupid anymore. She swallowed against the hand as she tried to take in the dark setting, any detail to use against the people not allowed here. Her eyes begging for any sign that he was alright.

"You always were an ignorant brat" that voice made her blood run cold, how did he find her? As if to confirm who he was a tall man now came into view, taking her in and she knew it was the bastard father that abandoned them for money. The hand slid from her mouth and she spat at her father making him slap her hard and grab her throat. She heard Marty try and struggle to help her but then her father laughed "I see you've finally got your mothers fiesty side in you. Shame it didnt help her or you now"

Before she knew it she was tossed onto the floor, her head hitting the corner of the coffee table making her groan out. "Rich little Princess doesnt share with her family" Ana looked up at him "you're not my family, you walked out on us"

Her father grabbed her by the hair, pulling it with no remorse as he made her kneel infront of her brother "no I kicked your good for nothing brother out, you just followed like a weak little puppy" she chewed her inner cheek refusing to whimper at the pain he was causing her by pulling her hair. She looked at her brother, tears stinging her eye with the pain "you're not even half the man Marty is" again that earned her a toss to the ground and a kick to her back.

Biting back the groan, she exhaled harshly as she heard her brother beg for him to stop hurting her and turn back to him "no" she went to push up on her arms only for them to wobble but she didnt care "let him be the monster he always was"

This time when she was dragged by up to her feet she could feel the metallic taste of blood in her mouth, but as she was pinned back to the wall, she felt the suffocating pressure of a hand tightly over her mouth and nose as she grabbed his arm and dug her nails in his arm as he watched her try not to fight for breath.

"Be a good girl and I'll let you breath" there was only one perfect to ever call her that and it certainly wasnt him. It made her feel sick hearing it from those lips. She felt his other hand grip her throat as tears streamed down her cheeks, her lungs begging for breath but she wasnt gling to fight for it either. Half an hour, she just had to last half an hour and then Ransom would call her and wouldnt get any answer and knew something was wrong but then he would walk straight into this and she couldnt bare the thought of him getting hurt. What was she going to do?

Finally he was allowed to breathe as she fell to her knees gasping her breath. Maybe he saw her not struggling as compliance, right now she could care less. Blinking she tried to focus clearly then she heard her brother scream. Looking up she noticed the knife wound "no" "no" she was grabbed again and pinned to someones body as she growled out but she couldnt move.

"I'm going to fucking kill you" her brother growled out and Ana didnt have any complaints there. She hears her cell ring, fuck, it couldnt of been half an hour already. Her father got her phone and showed her the caller ID, Linda was calling her and as her father tossed her phone out into the hallway, she felt a dreaded feeling that having not been able to reach Ana, Linda would phone Ransom. She was in two minds if that was a good idea or not.

"Havent changed at all, still the low life whore than ever, Martin" her father sounded displeased but when was he happy "your sister achieves alot more than you but still needs teaching on how to act properly. What? You both thought I'd let you walk away, embarrass me and I'd never punish you both for it? Thanks to Ana taking on that job and a very helpful assistant I found exactly where you loved"

Her mind whizzed trying to think who wouldve given out her address, she was going to fire that person....if they ever got out "What do you want?" Her words seemed to echo around the room making all eyes appear on her "what inwant is respect and I'm going to get it from you both one way or another. You're both coming back home, whether it's in a body bag or three back of the car is up to you"

"Go to hell" both her brother and her seemed to say at the same time, she kicked back making the man holding her back off and groan "fucking bitch" he grabbed her by the hair "going to teach you a fucking lesson" he dragged her by her hair up the stairs, each step hitting her body like a punch as she tried to struggle and groaned out. Hearing her brother try and get free and call for her made her suddenly want to panic but she wasnt going to show the bastard dragging her she was now scared.

She heard commotion downstairs and her cell phone ringing, now she did want Ransom to come in and somehow not get hurt. Being rescued wasnt such a bad idea. She whimpered as she was thrown onto her bed, trying to get her mind focused on anything but the pain. As her legs were dragged she reached out ontop of the bedside table remembering she had opened a letter with her mothers old fashioned letter opener and managed to grab it. "Going to make you behave bitch" she rose her hand and plunged the letter opener into the side of her neck "go fuck yourself" blood splattered from his neck as she turned her head away and managed to crawl under and away from him as she panted sat on the floor out of his reach as she watched the man who worked for her father bleed to death. She didnt dare think what he was going to do to her as she desperately tried to control her breathing.

Her phone rang again and maybe she shouldve tried to make a run for it. Maybe by some miracle whoever was ringing, more likely ransom, would hear the struggle as she was captured again but she also knew that would cost her brothers life and she couldnt lose him. Swallowing, she blinked , she had killed a man, but it was in self defence but that thought tried to over take her.

Her hands was shaking, as far as she knew there was this dead guy and her father left. Crawling slowly to the body she yanked the letter opener off his neck, trying not to get too much blood on her. She gripped the letter opener tightly and looked under her bed. Didnt Ransom leave a cell under here and said he would collect it later? God she hoped he hadnt collected it already. She smiled as she felt the cell in her hand as she looked through the contact until she reached Ransoms main cell number, but as she dialed his number, she screamed as she was yanked back. She hadnt seen the other man in the room downstairs, another person with her father. She threw the vocal under the bed enough not to be seen as she kept screaming in hopes if Ransom picked up he could tell she was in danger.but not enough that the man grabbed her would know she had another cell.

Against the stairs left their marks and neither touch of the other man was gentle. She was covered in blood and likely to have bruises now too "the fucking bitch killed Roma" he threw her onto the other chair and tied her up.and gagged her. She struggled under the harsh slap of her father stung her face so much she felt like he had taken her skin off, even if it was impossible. She had to save her brother as he was bleeding, god knows to death but now tied down she was trying to think how. "Guess we're going to play this the hard way then. Bring it in" Ana swallowed, it could be anything knowing him and she couldnt quite see what it was as inwas dragged behind her.

"Marty all will.be forgiven, are you going to come.back.home?" Marty knew what that really meant for them both "fuck you" he moaned through his pain and before Ana could realise what was happening her chair was thrown back into.something ice cold. She realised it was a large tub of ice cold.water behind her as she struggled to not breathe in. There was noise.coming from above the surface but she couldnt make it out as her lungs fought for air then she was sat back up coughing for breath.

"Ana come home" Ana looked through her wet eyes "I'd rather die" again she was fallen back into the ice water. A father who tortured his children was no father at all but what was new for her? She gasped for air as she was pulled back up hearing her brother begging for her tonbe let go and he'll go back if she wasnt hurt anymore. They had broken her brother and she couldnt blame him really "no...no. I wont let you go back there" her throat was grabbed, she needed more air and then she heard someokenwalk up her steps "go check it out"

The other man left as her father looked back at her "if youd rather die then so be it" he whispered against her ear "you're not worth the rescue" with that he pushed her chair back into the water and let go, raising the gun he pressed it against her brother forehead.....

@flamingshieldwrites

[obxdrewseph]

Slytherin!Rafe Cameron AU

Slytherin!Rafe Cameron x Gryffindor!reader (non-canon Rafe LOL) 

you and rafe cameron NEVER got along 

you two were always yelling at each other, throwing spells at each other, and even physically punching and shoving sometimes. 

it all started when you got accepted as one of the youngest seekers on the gryffindor team in a long time. you were praised by many and had many admirers 

he was jealous of your success. he was the same age as you but never received the same hype. it was like his household-- he worked so hard without gaining any approval from his father who only loved sarah.

the rivalry officially started when rafe told one of his friends lackeys to spell your broomstick before a game your first year. you were an innocent freshman then and felt confused when you jerked around in the air

after losing that game, rafe walked by you and mumbled “mudblood” under his breath. you weren’t surprised that rafe was prejudice after hearing the rumors about him

but you werent the type to judge someone before knowing them ... 

but now you officially hated mr. hot guy at hogwarts

later that month, you produced a love potion and slipped it into another third year’s drink who you knew had a crush on rafe 

crush is an understatement-- she was obsessed with him. and the love potion only made her passion more intense

she followed him around everywhere,.. and i mean EVERYWHERE until the potion wore off

and rafe had too many classes with the girl to avoid her 

the girl even snuck into his room and chased off other girls who hit on rafe

to be frank, he was pissed . 

the both of you had gone back and forth with mean pranks to each other, but you were seventh years now .. you were almost ready to go into the real world and you didnt have any time for immature pranks

...

just joking !! 

you both still hated each other. 

anywho

it was the nearing final game of the season, meaning it was you and rafe’s last quidditch game at hogwarts 

the tension was much higher between you two than usual 

when he saw you in the hallways, he would literally just shove you to the side while you spell his pants to fall down 

sometimes that worked in his favor which pissed you off

right before the game, rafe drank some liquid luck he needed it 

“god im so ready to crush that mudblood , there’s no way gryffindor will win today” 

“rafe why are you still fighting with her, it’s been years!” 

“hey she fights with me too” 

sarah cameron rolled her eyes at the immature boy but said nothing. she was secretly rooting for the two of you to have an intense love story... but it didnt look like it was happening 

the stadium was going wild as both teams walked out. everyone knew and loved the slytherin vs gryffindor rivalry 

secretly you loved it too. it gave you some sense of competition 

“ok i want a good game students. no playing dirty and all that” 

the professor narrowed her eyes at both you and rafe

you guys definitely wouldnt follow those rules

once the whistle blew, the players shot into the sky

there wasnt much for you to do as a seeker until you saw the snitch and you waited for it to catch your eye. you looked at the other seeker who was a sixth year. she glared back at you. 

“what are you lookin at, mudblood” 

you rolled your eyes at her comment

suddenly, it appeared in your line of vision and you went soaring through the sky. you could faintly hear someone announcing your actions on the speaker, but all you could focus on was that tiny ball with wings 

it was so close to you, you could touch it 

you held out your arm to try and grab the golden snitch-- your hands practically wrapped around damn thing

“y/n watch out!!” 

were the last words you heard before you felt something hit your side, flinging you roughly to the stadium. your back hit wood and you fell to the ground, the sand “breaking” your fall 

you could almost hear the audible gasp through the stadium as you dropped from the sky, but all you could feel was pain. in all of your years as a seeker, you’d never been hit with a bludger. you had always kept your eyes peeled for them

you knew someone deliberately hit you with one this time

a whole bunch of professors ran to you

“y/n darling! oh dear, this looks bad” 

you felt someone prop you up, but everything seemed blurry and faint. you were going in and out of consciousness 

your mouth was dry and probably bleeding, but you could still mumble out a few words

“check my hand” 

then you blanked out

you woke up in the hospital wing alone. and you hated being alone. 

your body felt sore and everything was fuzzy. your lips were dry and chapped and you could barely move your body

“easy there, y/n. you dont want to strain yourself” 

at the sound of that deep voice, you whipped your head to the side and came face to face with ... 

rafe cameron?

your curious look turned evil.

“you bastard, you hit me with your fucking bludger!” you wanted to hit him on the head, but your body wouldn’t allow it

“are you seriously that mad?? you still won the fucking game!” he spat back 

that made you laugh. he tried his best to knock you off your game, but you still pulled through-- as always

you gave him your best smug look 

“youre right. i should be grateful right now that mr. cameron just lost his last game... ever” you emphasized the last words

you expected to same something back, but he stayed silent

you opened your eyes and just saw him staring at you 

“what?” you spat. you didnt know what game he was playing at 

and for the first time in your life, you saw a look of remorse and confusion on his face 

“well if you have something to say, then just say it!” you yelled. patience wasnt your strong suit 

he scratched the back of his neck, something you knew he did when he was nervous 

“look, i just wanted to say im sorry, ok? i- i didnt mean to hit you so hard” 

his confession shocked you. 

you never had been kind to one another. ever. 

“um... alright” 

you and rafe were both bad at emotions 

“alright? i apologize to you and you just give me a mere ‘alright’?” his tone made you angry 

“excuse me?? just because you apologize, it doesnt mean i have to forgive you!” you didnt even know why you were mad-- it’s not like you meant to brush off his apology, you just were confused

he scoffed and slid back in his chair. it was then you noticed he wasnt in his robes, just his pajamas that were sweats and a tank top (you knew this because you had snuck into his dorm one day while he was sleeping and spelled a bunch of snakes to his bed. they were harmless ofc) 

“whatever.” 

you saw something flicker in his face that you hadnt seen before.. was it embarrassment? something else? 

you were over all the anger that you had towards rafe. you were both 17 and still fighting like kids. all you wanted to know is why 

“rafe, why do you hate me so much?” 

you finally asked 

he paused in his steps, and didnt make eye contact. odd. he was always staring intensely at you. then he scratched the back of his neck

“be honest” 

“fine, i was jealous of you alright? you were the golden first year and i was just another first year on the team. everyone paid attention to you i guess and i dont know .. i just got angry” 

you tried not to show any surprise, but you were shocked. rafe always seemed so cocky and arrogant, to know he envied you at one point didnt make you feel too good

“well maybe people would like you more if you werent such an asshole” you bit out. you dont know why you said that, he was being vulnerable but he started the rivalry by making you lose your first game. it humiliated you. the rumor was you couldnt even fly properly and people doubted your skills as a seeker

he rolled his eyes and turned to walk away 

“wait!” you shouted. he stopped.

you didnt know what you wanted to ask him, but the words toppled out before you could stop them

“why are you here?” 

“to apologize”

you gave him a look. 

somehow, you felt like you knew rafe cameron better than anyone at this school. you knew what made him tick, you knew what made him nervous, embarrassed, etc. you even knew what made him happy so that you could deliberately not do that

and you knew when he was lying. like right now

his jaw tightened. “jj.” 

?? huh ?? 

“what? what about jj?” you knew rafe didnt like the gryffindor, but he wasnt as mean to jj as he was to you 

“jj carried you out of the stadium. he was the first one there.” 

you still didnt know why he was telling you this 

“um, ok? did he like tell you to come here?” 

suddenly, you saw a smile on rafe cameron’s face. 

you had only seen him smile like that when he was reading his potions textbook or practicing offensive spells. he never smiled like that at you. 

then... it hit you 

“wait... were you.. jealous of jj?” you sputtered out 

he gave you a now smug look

“i guess? it was a weird development i admit.” 

you rolled your eyes

“oh, liking me is a ‘weird development’” 

“woooah who said anything about liking?? i just said jealousy. im pretty sure im just jealous youre close to another guy besides you.” he fibbed.

you scoffed. “im close to plenty guys besides you.” 

you were lying. 

guys hated how much you interacted with rafe cameron and were scared of getting on his bad side. they were cowards-- all of them. there was nothing you hated more than a coward. 

“anything else you have to confess to me?” you asked finally, confused of the direction this conversation was going. 

“nope. see you around y/n.” 

he gave you one of his rare soft smiles and closed the door, leaving you more confusion than you had woken up with 

once rafe closed the door, he paused with his back leaning on it. 

“guess that liquid luck came in handy” 

[thewolfisapartofmysoul]

Hey lovelies,

I wrote a Dewey Finn/reader fanfic again.

Bare with me... its LONG. Also angst ahead, followed by our fluffy rock-god, who is too sweet for this world 😍.

The reader has a panic-attack and dewey is there to save the day.

Hope you enjoy. 💕 Lots of love.

High anxiety.

You sat on the floor of your living room. Shaking. Breathing heavily, said breath squeeking with each breath as you inhaled. Dread and panic settling in your chest as you wrapped your arms around yourself in an attempt to get your shit together. You felt your breaths getting shorter. Havier. And you felt the panic in your chest rising.

It had been a while since your last panic attack. A part of you was glad that your boyfriend wasnt home right now. It would be pathetic if Dewey saw you like this. Another part of you however, was getting even more fear since he wasnt home with you.

You knew Dewey for years, and since the years of friendship you two had shared, before tumbling into a relationship, he knew just what to do to help you calm down during said panic attacks.

You felt your heart clenching at the thought of him helping you each time you suffered like this, feeling even more helpless since he wasnt home with you.

Between shallow squeeking breaths and your racing heartbeat you sobbed. Tears streaming down your face in sheer panic. Feeling incredibly alone and scared you hyperventilated even more. Knowing it would be a while untill Dewey would come home, since it was only 12am. And he had to teach the kids untill 3.

"Wel... fuck fuck fuckerdy fuck..."

You felt so stupid, worthless, scared, sad and really REALLY anxious. You closed your eyes and pulled your knees towards your chest, as a pile of panic on the floor. Still crying and hyperventilating you managed to grab your phone as you texted Dewey, with shaking hands typing the message: 'panic' as you struggled to send the message through your blurred vision if tears and shaking nerves.

"Please read my text. Please read my text. I need you Dew-drop."

-----

Dewey drove so fast he just knew he was gonna get in trouble for it. However, he didn't have a single fuck to give right now. When he saw your text he practically ran out the classroom, shouting to the kids he had to go home and tell summer to get miss Mullens in the meantime.

Dewey's mind was clouded with worry as he raced home to you.

He was glad that you thought about texting him before your attack got worse... if you waited too long doing he knew you wouldnt be capable of doing so. He anxiously watched the time... still 3 more minutes. He hoped you were doing okay...

-----

It felt like you were sitting on the floor for hours. Sobbing violently, now full on hyperventilating. Your face wet from the tears. Your vision blurry from the tears and the hyperventilating was starting to make you see black spots everywhere you looked.

At this the heaviness of your chest only grew, and you felt your panic starting to rise even more.

You closed your eyes, pulling your head between your knees in a last attempt to make yourself calmer. The only thought repeating in your brain was: "deweydeweydeweydewey..."

As you sat at the floor, in full on panic mode you didnt realise Dewey rushing through the front door, his eyes growing wild in terror as he saw your helpless form sitting on the floor. He had to remind himself to breath calmly himself... deciding that he needed to be calm and assuring in this situation. Instead of stressing his ass off. He ran a hand trough his hair, collecting himself for your sake, as he walked calmly towards you.

Your had eyes still closed tightly, clinging your own knees so hard it turned your knuckels white, with your head still pressed firmly between them. Blocking the outside world. Your breathing was a mess, squeeking and uneven and all over the place.

Dewey was slowly coming closer to you, his worry grew each time you took in a high pitched fast breath. He was calculating every step he made towards you, the last thing he wanted was to scare you even more.

He figured sneaking up at you like this wouldnt do you any good, but you haven't seen or heard him approach you yet. So he decided that the first thing to do was to make you notice that he was there with you, that you didnt had to face this alone.

He started crouching down so he was leveling with you as he slowly started to hum a song.

Through your ragged short breaths you distantly heard someting, something other than your own sobs. Your ears perked up slightly, trying to focus on the sound instead of the feeling of panic that was heavy in your chest. You slowly started to recognise the song that you heard. It was the first song that Dewey ever played for you on his guitar.

You opened your eyes, your head hesitantly moving up. Anxiety and panic still as heavy as your breathing.

You looked upward and saw the concerned face of Dewey. Your Dewey. Your breath still squeaking, it took you a lot of efford to focus on him. But just seeing Dewey grounded you a bit.

He spoke with the softest calmest voice he could manage: "Hey sweetheart, you back with me? Keep your eyes on me, okay love? Can you do that for me? Just look at me and focus on my voice. Your doing great. Your gonna be fine sweetheart. Im here with you, your not alone."

You conintued to look at him. Relieved that Dewey was with you now.

"Thats it love. Keep those pretty eyes on me. I am gonna move closer to you, is that okay?" It took you all your willpower to nod once. He smiled at that, glad you showed him you heard him.

He scooted closer to you, as he kept lulling in his soft voice: "thats it sweetheart. Your doing great y/n, just focus on my voice. Keep looking at me sweetheart.

As he reached the point across you he carefully touched your knees, making sure you were okay with him doing so. Holding intense eye contact to notice the slightest bit of worry on your face as he touched you.The said worry on your face never came.

Still hyperventilating you noticed his hand laying sofly on your knee. He was still staring intently at you, his eyes were calm and assuring. He asked: "is this okay love? Is it okay if i touch you?" Again it took you all the willpower you had to nod at him. He smiled a bit at that. He knew from previous attacks that telling you what he was doing helped you with your anxiety.

Dewey very gently moved his other hand on your knee too. And started to move them up and down in a soothing way. All the while speaking: "Your doing great sweetheart. Im here with you. Just focus on the sound of my voice, keep your pretty eyes on me and feel my hands on your knees. Your gonna be okay. Breath with me love. Breath in. Breath out. Thats it, your rocking it. In with me. Out with me..."

You breathed in and out with dewey together. You felt the fog in your mind clearing at his voice and the pressure on your chest was becoming less heavy with each stroke on your knee. Your breathing gently slowing down bit by bit.

Dewey noticed this and beamed at you, moving closer untill he could properly hold you.

The sight alone made your heart flutter, and you managed to smile a tiny smile back at him, as you welcomed his embrace. Still unable to move you two sat on the floor for a while. Dewey proceeded to guide your breathing and his voice and presence literally banned your anxiety slowly. "Thats it love. In.... Out.... in.... out...."

As minutes had passed and your breathing was back to normal you managed to scoot even closer to him, cuddling in his safe embrace.

He hold you tight in his arms, humming as he did so. You sighed, as he rocked your body back and forward... his voice humming your thoughts away. You were surrounded by the comfort and love Dewey provided. You inhaled deeply trough your nose, the scent of dewey making you feel safe. He smelled like cinnamon, coffee, and a little bit of sweat combined with... tea tree oil...? He must have used your shampoo this morning. You couldnt supress a smile creeping up your face. Gosh, you loved that man.

Dewey noticed your slight smile appearing, followed by some tears rolling down your cheeck. Your emotions crashing in with full force, you just realized Dewey had come home early... just because you had a stupid panic attack. You mumbled in the crook of his neck: "im sorry Dew... im so sorry..."

Deweys mind worked fast at this. The chance of you panicking again closing in, and he knew he had to stop it. Fast.

You were in the middle of mumbling apologies as you felt a hand stroking your hair, and calloused fingers wiping your tears away as Dewey pecked every inch of your tear-stained face. He tried to speak while kissing you: "sweetheart *kiss* not *kiss* your *kiss* fault *kiss*...."

You chuckled at his attempt to kiss and talk at the same time. His scruff tickeling your face with each kiss.

He pulled away from pecking your face slighty to look you in the eyes and stroke your cheeck as he spoke:

"Y/n... love... dont say that. Its okay. Im here. I always will be here. Its not your fault, you did a good job texting me before it got worse. Your doing great. Your gonna be okay now. I love you SO much..." To prove his piont he kissed your nose.

You nodded. Smiling and knowing you had the BEST boyfriend ever.

He pulled you even closer to him, you were almost sitting on his lap now. His strong arms holding onto your waist, as he lulled in your ear:

"Should i draw you a bath, love? It might be good for your tense muscles... I'll even put your favorite oil in it for you..." he sing-songed the last scentence and you snorted at that.

He chuckled as well, glad he'd made you laugh.

You felt him moving to get up, but you tensed at this whispering: "Dew...."

His hand now slowly moving his way across your belly as he replied: "hmmm?"

You whispered with a shaky voice: "would you... do you mind... uhm..."

Deweys thumb moved tiny circles around your belly button as he kissed your neck softly: "I'm coming with you if you like that... you don't have to be alone now... no worries, okay?"

You nodded again. Dewey helped you on your feet and held your hand as you two walked the stairs.

You stripped down your clothes as Dewey prepared the perfect bath for you both. He slipped in first, and you rested against his torso in the tub. His chin resting on your head, and his armes wrapped around your waist. You felt the falling and rising of his chest behind you calming you even more. You closed your eyes, reveling in the moment before you broke the silence: "Thankyou Dewey.... i love you"

After pressing a kiss on the top of your hair he replied: "Anytime sweetheart, i love you too."

You shifted lightly is his grasp, turning so you were with your head on his chest now, his grip around you never leaving. He started to comb his hands trough your hair while humming softly into your ear.

And at that moment, you felt calm and safe in Dewey's embrace.

[curse-of-the-dark-emerald]

Curse of the Dark Emerald, chapter 1

Author's Notes: Hello everyone this is my first time writing for Sonic and tackling the idea of Sonic in the movie verse as a Werehog because since watching the film I think myself and a lot of others have been egging (no pun intended xD) to have a shot at this. So I hope as my first time it comes off good and not too terrible! Apologies for any story mistakes! Please enjoy and keeping it at around PG-13 rated.

...

Tom Wachowski unlocked the door to his house, his body slumped involuntarily as he entered, it was a long, and dull uneventful day. He was tired from doing the usual patrolling of Green Hill and not much happened, which was pretty typical. Ozzy, his beloved golden retriever didn’t waste time greeting his owner and stood on his back legs lurching his upper body on Tom in the form of a hug.

“Hey, Oz! Good boy!”

Ozzy manages to leave a lick of drool on his face and instantly after receiving the affection, he settles down and sits at Tom’s feet. A neon, blue line zipped behind Ozzy.

“Hey, Donut Lord! You’re back!”

A young, blue hedgehog jumps onto Tom’s chest and and embraces him into a hug, Tom could feel his quills against his head bristling. Sonic’s cheeks were blushing from the joy to see his best friend back home. Electric green eyes meet Tom’s.

“Hey, bud, good to see you.”  Tom returns the hug and gently drops Sonic to the floor.

Sonic rests his fists on his sides, “You bring anything cool back? Like some food?” Sonic makes the brightest smile at Tom.

“Sorry, bud. Not this time.” Tom chuckled at Sonic, knowing him he was thinking he’d brought home a take out meal for free.

Sonic groaned, “Aww come on! I haven’t had a chili dog in like, forever!” He folds his arms and huffs at Tom.

“Hi, Tom.”

Maddie appears and made her greeting with a peck on the cheek for Tom. “Don’t worry about him, he’s been good today.”

“Oh I’m not worried about that,” Tom took off his coat and put it on the coat hanger, ''But I’m more worried about Mr. Flash here getting too fat, for sure!” He teases.

Sonic laughs, but pauses; and he furrows his eyes, “Hey!”

“Did you take your nap, earlier, Sonic? Tom gives Sonic a pat on his head before walking past him and going into the kitchen.

“Of course I did!” Sonic rolled his eyes.

“I made some soup and breadsticks, so no hot dogs Sonic.” Maddie winked at Sonic, she knew his bribery at Tom had failed.

“Yeah, yeah ,okay.” Sonic sighed in disappointment, and took a seat at the table.

“Hey Sonic, how’re your muscles feeling?” Maddie finished bringing all the utensils for Tom and Sonic and sat down, grinning at the hedgehog.

“Really sore.” Sonic moans a little and rubs his back, “That workout was a killer yesterday, I don’t think I’ll do it again.”

Both of them laughed to each other, Maddie took her turn to tease him.

Tom smiles to himself warmly, his job may be dull at times but it was a different story here at home, which he didn’t mind. He always felt happier and lighter seeing Sonic as the new member of the household, officially welcomed after he and Maddie made him his own room in the attic. That was only a few weeks ago, and October was just around the corner. Tom and Maddie had already mentioned to Sonic about Halloween, which of course the little hedgehog was excited for, but that would be discussed later on.

Sonic was his usual chipper self, talked about his day but also made sure to let his guardians speak as well. Which he was getting better at. Tom let himself to the daily newspaper while Sonic and Maddie made small talk, turning the thin pages from time to time, reading the daily funny comics, then the weather, then he remembered he forgot to even look at the front page, the title in black, bold letters read

“Trick of the Eyes? Or the new Montana’s “Northern Lights?”

“Woah..”

Tom scans over the slightly blurred picture below the main headline, which was in color thankfully; showing that in the next town over, there were sights of odd, but dazzling green and blue rays reminiscent of the northern lights anyone was familiar with in the Northern continents, but different.

“Hey, wanna see something cool?”

Sonic’s lime-green orbs lit up at Tom, “Yeah, sure, what’s up?”

Tom folds the paper for him to see better, “Looks like you might not be the only alien thing around,” he jokes.

But the moment Sonic looked at the picture of the headline, his eyes went sharp and into a trance, he gingerly took the paper, read it over and didn’t say another word. Sonic’ss mouth hung agape a little, but made no sound.

Maddie and Tom glanced at each other, not knowing when or what to say at first, but Tom beats her to it, “Sonic? What’s the matter?”

Sonic blinked his eyes and finally made his gaze at them, “I’m okay! It really is cool, Tom.”

Sonic almost couldn't finish his sentence and was interrupted by a yawn. He shook his head to fight the sudden sleepiness.

“Are you all done with your food?” Maddie began taking dishes to the sink.

“Yep, I’m done.” Sonic gently pushed his plate away and got down, heading for his room.

Tom still kept watch on Sonic’s expression the whole time, he could tell the young hedgehog has something lingering in his mind, behind that smile. But, he thought, I’ll give him his space for now.

“Good night, Sonic!” Maddie gently shouts so she could overpower the sound of clinking dishes and running water.

“Goodnight!” Sonic makes a hasty wave at Tom and dashed to his room, opening the floor boarded door and closing it behind him.

“Ugh, I gotta..go..!”

Sonic fumbles with his words and thoughts, trying to think and properly conjure the crazy idea that he was about to do,

“That story in the paper...it felt so weird...and it's bugging me…”

Sonic tosses all his belongings that were on the floor which were just left scattered around messily, looking for the most important things to him, his brain couldn’t remember where he put them, until he checked the drawers and instantly, his pouch of Rings were there in his stash of socks.

“Cool beans, I gotcha! Now, I should...UGH I gotta go now! No no no, calm down and slow down, I can’t just go there yet…”

Sonic took a sharp breath in, and slowed his brain down to think more clearly, “I have to wait until they’re asleep. So they don’t worry.”

It was finally settled on what he had to do. While he waited for Tom and Maddie to get to bed and sleep, he made his quick preparations on what to take for this short journey to the town outside of Green Hill. Sonic looked out the upper window of his room, a near full moon glistened it’s face downwards with it’s light.

“Backpack, check. Flashlight, check.”

Sonic grabbed his Rings, took one out and held it firmly in his hand, and stashed the rest into his bigger bag. Happy with his things, he took a step towards the door,

A rustle of noises was heard outside, he whipped to see what it was from and thought he also saw a pair of red eyes peering from the same window. The years of old paranoia washed over and Sonic quickly checked outside on the roof, and he found nothing about that could be spying.

“Come on, let’s go already.” Sonic griped at himself to get going, shook his head, and went to his door, the house lights below were off and a dark staircase greeted him.

Sonic quietly tiptoed to Tom and Maddie’s room, and he was happy to find out his timing was good, they were preparing to go to sleep, but they spoke amongst themselves in their room which muffled both voices a little bit.

“He had a weird reaction to that story from  the paper, you think he’s okay?”- Maddie

“Not sure, but it might not be that big of a deal.”-Tom

A sigh was let out from one of them, though Sonic couldnt see who it was.

“You’re probably right, but I’m...a little worried.”

Tom took the covers and slipped on the bed, “I’ll admit I am a little too, but for now if Sonic wants to tell us what it is, let’s just wait.”

Sonic’s chest tightened, he felt a little guilty for what he was about to do and rethinks if telling both of them would be best, but he was happy to hear they were so concerned about him.

“Okay, Tom. I don’t want to press him either, but you’re totally right.”

They’ll be fine.

Sonic had heard just enough to put himself at ease, he heard the bedroom become silent not long after, that was the que to make his move.

He promised to himself, “I’ll be back before the sun comes up.”

Sonic went back upstairs to his room, took the golden ring in hand, tossed it and a whirl of energy and wind blows, the ring showcases a sea of green pine trees on the other side,

“Nothing wrong with a little adventure, right?” Sonic rubbed his gloves together, his nervousness had vanished with the thought of what could be on the other side, waiting for him.

He goes in and the ring closes. His room was now vacant. Until an arm pulls down the window pane on the ceiling...

A black clothed person carefully props himself to the floor, wearing red tinted goggles on his head and a black beanie to mask himself.

“Whew, close one.”

After getting his balance, the man moves his goggles up his face, Agent Stone had been following his target for the last few days. He scans the room for anything he could use to further his plans into action, the execution to start could now begin.

“What now..? Oh..?” Stone’s eyes catch onto something interesting,

A single gold ring glowed on the floor, he grinned playfully at the item, studying it.

“He used this to disappear? Hmm..”

He barely moved his fingers and the ring slips from his grasp, clumsily it falls back on the floor, opening a portal.

“Woah, what the-?” Stone stepped back, startled.

From what he could see it was the same place his target took off to, green forests of trees and he saw large footprints from where Sonic was headed.

“No time to waste, then.”

He had his mission to fulfill, and he took the jump inside the ring, and it closed from behind. Stone looked back expecting the bedroom to be there, but it wasn’t. Stone went into focus and followed Sonic’s footsteps.

[chatnoirismycinnamonroll]

Only Human: Akuma! Marinette AU (part 3)

Disclaimer: I dont own, and never will I even come close to owning, either Miraculous or Christina Perri's song Only Human.

Tikki raced through the now silent hallways towards her chosen's classroom. She had been trapped in Marinette's purse, held down by the mist, and was only just able to get out. Like everybody else in the school, she had been able to see everything Only Human had shown her classmates. She felt her pain, her sorrow, her anxiety and stress at having to pretend that everything was fine when it wasnt.

Tikki sighed. She knew she shouldn't have held Marinette back from telling someone her identity for so long. All of that accumulated stress had been bound to be released sometime. And boy, what a release it was. Plagg must be so happy at the destruction she knew Marinette had left in her wake.

But, honestly, Tikki couldnt blame her. The way Marinette's "friends" had cornered her chosen in the bathroom had left Tikki piping mad, and if she ever saw them again, identity or not, Tikki was going to give them a piece of her mind. Anyone who thought Plagg was hell to live with had nothing on an angry Tikki. He may be the god of destruction and bad luck, but she was the goddess of creation and luck. You piss her off, and you might just get a new hole in your along with having your good luck run out.

Whoever said cats were the protective ones were highly mistaken.

Marinette sighed. She kept her eyes on the butterfly until she could no longer see it. She didnt want to face her classmates right now, especially since she could remember everything she had done as an akuma. She could remember making Lila bite her own tongue hard enough to bleed. She could remember lifting her and Alya up and slamming them into the ground. She could remember every image she made them see, every memory that she knew would make them feel guilty for treating her the way they had. And she didnt feel any better for it. She had hurt Chat Noir. She had blasted him into the wall with enough force to leave him dazed, when all he was trying to do was help her.

She also knew that she had had no control of herself. She had unwillingly let Hawkmoth push himself past her grief and into her mind. He had used her memories as leverage over her classmates, her....

She couldnt exactly call them friends now, could she? Not really. She looked up at them, seeing Rose and Mylene help Alix out from under a bookshelf and pull her towards Lila, who was still bleeding from her mouth and staring at Marinette with a frightened but hateful stare. Alya was sobbing and Nino was co.forting her, and Marinette's heart gave a lurch as they didnt approach her to see if she was okay, like she did with them after they got akumatized.

She forced herself to look away, forced herself to stand up and ignore their frightened gasps. She couldnt focus on them at the moment. She had to find Tikki so she could reverse her damage, and then she could head home and hopefully nobody would question why Ladybug got there late-

And suddenly there was a red kwami snuggling up to her cheek. She was standing at the front of the classroom, covered in dust and bruises, her hands cut and burnt a little from the struggle of tearing her own akumatized item, her classmates staging her, and her kwami was nuzzling her cheek and crying tears of relief.

"Tikki? Um..."

"Oh, Marinette, you're alright! I was so worried! I tried to prevent the akuma from getting to you, but I failed. I'm so sorry, Marinette. I was supposed to protect you, and you got akumatized anyway." Tikki lamented, tears leaking out of her big blue eyes as she stared up at her sweet, strong, beautiful chosen.

Marinette smiled, accepting that Tikki was giving her identity away because she was obviously going to say something important. "It's alright, Tikki. It wasnt your fault I got akumatized, it was Hawkmoth's. I remember everything, unfortunately, but I do remember that I never said the words. I never accepted his offer of akumatization. He forced his akuma onto me, Tikki. You tried to save me, but he was the one who took advantage of my emotions. Dont ever blame yourself for this, Tikki." Marinette held Tikki in her hands and kissed her forehead, nuzzling the cute being with her nose, getting a giggle out of her.

"You're the best kwami I could ever ask for."

"So it is a kwami."

Marinette looked up, finally acknowledging the others. Chat stood in front of her, staring down at her with several emotions in his eyes. She couldnt tell which was stronger at the moment. She could see the wheels turning in his head, and she knew the instant it clicked for him.

"You.... you're...!"

"A KWAMI? How did you get a kwami, Marinette? You're a superhero? And you never told me?" Alya said, her tears dying down as her eyes narrowed in astonishment and disbelief.

Marinette gulped, not exactly ready to face her classmates just yet. "I... um.. I...."

"She had no reason to tell you, Alya Cesaire. You should know all too well why that is."

Everyone stared down at the little red kwami, who had a serious look on her face that looked oddly intimidating for such a small creature.

Chat gulped, but kept his eyes on Marinette's as he shakingly whispered, "My Lady?" His anger towards his classmates rose further when Marinette nodded tensely, her arms folded and head bowed in a clear, protective manner. Oh, it was on. That did it. The entire class was gonna get a new one ripped into them. Nobody hurt his Lady, especially if she was also his Princess.

He glared at the class and stepped forward, ready to yell at them when a tiny red hand stopped him.

"Dont. You take care of Marinette. I'll take care of her so called friends." Tikki said, her blue eyes glinting dangerously. Chat nodded, turning to head towards Marinette, but his transformation suddenly dropping stopped him in his tracks. Everyone gasped as Adrie. was revealed, and they snapped out of whatever stupor they were in and began to yell, demanding answers from both him and Marinette.

He felt cornered and overwhelmed as they began to doubt him. How could he, Adrien Agreste, possibly be Chat Noir? They were nothing alike! Why didnt he tell them? Was this the only secret he kept from them? Did Marinette know? Why were they keeping secrets? What else did they have to hide?

He backed up until he felt a hand slipping into his, and Marinette looked up at him with reassuring bluebell eyes. He relaxed immediately. How could he not see his lady in her? He should have realized it the moment he called her his everyday Ladybug. He knew there was a reason he was so attracted to Marinette. There was a reason why Ladybug's rare flailings and nervousness so often struck him as familiar and adorable. Now that he thought about it, there wasnt anybody else who could possibly be Ladybug.

He held her hand tightly as the noise got louder and their classmates slowly came out from under the rubble to yell more things at them, and just when he thought he couldnt take it anymore-

"SILENCE!"

Everybody froze. They stared at the glowing red kwami as her eyes flashed with anger. "How dare you all demand answers from her after what you've done to her?! Marinette is not some toy you can just drop once shes no longer of use to you. Shes not some servant you can call upon whenever you want something. She's not some emotionless robot who you can order around and expect her to follow orders without any single input or objection. Shes a human being, just like you! So sit down, shut up, and show her the respect she deserves for having put up with you all for so long or so help me I'll make sure none of you ever have a good day ever again."

The silence that followed was deafening. Everybody slowly sat down amongst the rubble and stared fearfully at the tiny goddess.

The silence was broken by a cackle, and the little black kwami that had come out of Adrien's ring slowly floated his way towards his other half.

"Oh, oh, sugar cube, you're gonna make me split in two. I cant wait to hear what sorts of things you need to say to these ungrateful morons." His laughing suddenly stopped, and he looked at the class with narrowed eyes, his black form a almost a shadow, the only things visible on him were the two glowing green slits of his eyes. "I too would like to see them properly punished for almost destroying Paris by literally akumatizing the only other person who keeps them safe on a daily basis. So if you need a little bad luck on your side, dont hesitate to call me up, sweet cheeks."

Tikki smiled at him, before her eyes turned serious again and she glared at the girls. "First of all, I'd like to say I am very disappointed in all of you. You had no right to just turn your backs on Marinette, especially after everything she has done for you without complaint. I cant believe one little girl's lies are enough to fool you, and they weren't even GOOD lies!!"

Tikki's little antenna began to sway in her anger. "Max!" He jumped, his glasses slightly skipping from his nose. "You're supposed to be the smartest boy in the school. Tell me, how was a rolled up, thin, paper napkin going to gouge your eye out when 1) it was rolled up into a tight ball, 2) headed towards Lila's hand, which was level with your stomach, and 3) your eyes were safely covered by your glasses? Tell me, how?"

Max looked down in shame, having figured that out at some time during the attack. Tikki shook her head and moved onto the next person. "Alya. You've called yourself Marinette's best friend, but you sure didnt act like it at all today. Best friends have each others backs. They trust each other and always listen to each other. This isn't the first time you've disregarded Marinette's words and facts as nothing but jealousy. Not only that, but you chose your boyfriend over your best friend. You didnt protest moving Marinette out of a chair she worked so hard to keep all year, and you didnt even give her the benefit of the doubt when she tried to warn you about Lila's lies."

Tikki began to slowly vibrate in her anger, a low buzz filling the room.

"And then, you have the audacity to te her to show you proof of Lila's lies when you yourself have no proof that what Lila is saying is true. You could have fact checked with Ladybug about being Lila's friend. You could have asked Marinette to ask Jagged Stone if he ever had a kitten. You could have looked up half the things Lila has said on Google and figured out that NONE OF THEM WERE TRUE. And then- and then-!"

Tikki stopped talking as her body glowed to a deep angry red, the black.of her spots looking more like the dark, empty void of space than the sweet, adorable, chocolate chip looking spots Marinette often told her they looked like.

"Sugar Cube?"

"And then, you dared tell her that she was wrong to be angry. That she was wrong to have treated Lila so "mean" when she hadn't been mean at all. You told her it was wrong of her to question Lila and then dared demand her to apologize before then telling her to keep away from you until she did. You ditched your best friend for a new girl, a stranger, with outlandish and interesting stories. I guess Marinette was wrong to have trusted you the way she did, didnt she, little fox?"

Alya reeled back, her eyes back to streaming tears. "I'm sor-"

"Dont. You haven't thought about your actions. Not really. You're not completely sorry, so dont apologize just yet."

Alya quieted down, her sobs silently shaking her frame as she leant against Nino, her thoughts finally calm enough for her to properly analyze them.

Tikki moved on, glaring at the other girls. "And you all. Mylene, Rose, Alix. Marinette has been nothing but kind to you. She has helped every single one of you with something personal. With something important. Both as herself and as Ladybug. And the one moment she makes a mistake, you make her out to be a monster. You, Mylene, know that Marinette wouldn't do anything out of jealousy, especially not after what she did with Kagami and Adrien." Mylene hung her head in shame.

"Rose, you called Marinette the everyday Ladybug, but you had no right to detract your words in such a way. Ladybug makes mistakes too, and you basically told Marinette that since Ladybug is perfect, Marinette couldn't be Ladybug because she wasn't perfect. You faulted her for feeling betrayed and insulted and for showing her emotions. And you had absolutely no right to do that." Rose let a few tears fall as she remembered her uncharacteristic behaviour.

Alix looked at the kwami in shame, knowing what Tikki was going to say. "Alix, dont you ever call Marinette selfish again. And dont ever fault her if she decides to act selfishly for once. I honestly think she can afford to be just a little more selfish sometimes, especially to get the boy of her dreams."

Tikki was back to her normal hue, and her anger turned to disappointment. "You all were pretty despicable today. I could not believe this behaviour from you. I expect much better from all of you."

The class hung their heads, all except Lila. Tikki stared at Lila blankly before moving back towards Marinette.

"Wait, what about Lila?" Adrien protested. He stood up and glared at the little liar. "Shes been spreading lies about both Marinette and herself all day. Shes the reason why everyone is mad at My Lady in the first place. Shouldn't she be lectured and punished as well?"

Tikki stopped her advance towards Marinette. She styled floating in the air for several seconds, before turning back and smiling at Adrien. Adrien instinctively stepped back from that smile.

"Don't worry, Adrien. Lila's been cursed since before I entered the room." Her smile switched from Adrien towards Lila, who stared back with frightened eyes. "I'm very protective of my Ladybugs."

@drarrylover007 @mindfulmagics

[svu-ncis-criminalminds]

Distracted Driving

Request : “It would be a lot easier if you weren’t so attractive.” Reader x Sonny! 

You were out to dinner with some old college friends, somewhere fancy that you would have never picked out yourself. But you weren’t complaining, the food was delicious, the wine too. And it gave you an excuse to doll yourself up (something you hadn’t done in months because of such a busy work schedule).

However, the moment your mind drifted from the conversation in front of you back to work, as if on cue your phone rang. Your partners name flashed up on the screen and you sighed standing up.

“I have to take this,” you said apologetically before clicking the answer button and making your way to the front of the restaurant. “Hold on Carisi I can’t hear you,” You called into the phone as you passed through the bar at the front of the restaurant and finally out into the slightly quieter New York night. “What’s up?”

“I- uh, sorry I’m interrupting-”   You waved a dismissive hand even if the other couldn’t see you through the phone.

“You’re not,”

“There was a kidnapping up on 8th, a snatch and go. Liv wants everyone who can come in to come.. If you’re not able-” You cut your partner off again.

“I can,” You assured. You hadn’t driven and even if you did you had a few glasses of wine during dinner so you wouldn’t. “Let me.. Call an uber, tell Liv I’ll be there ASAP.”

“Uber?” Sonny questioned, “I can get you.”

“I’m not home,” You warned, “I don’t want you to come out of your way,”

“Nonsense, send me your location I’ll be there pronto.” You smiled and nodded your head.

“Thank you, Sonny.” You hung up and shared your location with him before cutting back through the bar and restaurant to your friends. You stopped at the table and grabbed your purse. “Hey, work emergency.” You placed money on the table, “I’m sorry but I gotta go.”

“Do you want a ride?” One of your closest friends since high school asked and you shook your head.

“Carisi is gonna get me but thank you.” She smirked and you rolled your eyes before waving at the group, “Dinner was great I will see you all again soon.”

“Have fun with your ‘work emergency’ (y/n)”,  your friend called and you continue your walk outside with a slight blush on your cheeks.

I’ll be pulling up in five. You read Sonny’s text and pocketed your phone leaning against the wall of the building. You began to regret your outfit choice. Heels, no matter how comfortable (and these weren’t!) were not good for criminal chasing. You absentmindedly attempted to adjust the hem of your dress tugging it down to cover a bit more leg.

A familiar car pulled up in front of the restaurant and you pushed yourself off the wall and walked quickly towards the vehicle. You opened the passenger door and slipped in, flashing Sonny a smile. Your cheeks were flushed from a mix of alcohol and cold air.

“Hey,” You greeted, clicking your seatbelt on and settling down in the seat. Sonny didn’t say anything and the car remained stationary blocking traffic. “Sonny,” You tried again and his head snapped from you back to the road.

“Hey!” He squeaked slightly before quickly jerking the car into motion. You laughed and crossed one leg over the other, and watched your partner, tilting your head. Sonny kept glancing between you and the road and he seemed on edge.

“So, what happened?” You asked, and Sonny looked at you, raising an eyebrow.

“Whadya mean?”

“Sonny, the road.” you warned and he switched his attention back to the street in front of him hitting the break slightly and extending his left arm in front of you. You weren’t nearly as close to hitting the other car as you briefly thought you would be.

“(y/n) shit, I’m sorry-”

“Sonny,”

“Are you alright,”

“Hey Carisi.” You raised your voice slightly to grab his attention and to shut him up. “I need you to focus, weren’t not going to be helpful if we show up in a body bag, yeah?” Sonny laughed nervously and your voice was much softer when you spoke next, “Just keep your eyes on the road, okay?”

“Yeah well,” He paused and you waited for him to continue his thought. When you both lapsed into silence for a minute you decided to press.

“Yeah well what?” Sonny looked at you quickly once more before snapping his eyes back to the road. You watched as a shade of red slowly spread up the back of his neck and over his ears. He mumbled something and you shook your head, “What?” He sighed loudly shaking his head.

“It would be a lot easier if you weren’t so attractive.” It wasn’t much louder the second time but you heard him clearly that time and it was your turn to blush. When you didn’t say anything and Sonny got a chance at a red light, he turned to look at you properly. “I’m sorry, (y/n).” You shook your head quickly and smiled. You paused for a moment before reaching out to grab his hand. 

“Thank you, really.” Sonny looked at your hand over his before looking back at your face and smiling, he let out a shaky breath before beginning to lean his head towards yours. “Sonny?” You breathed and he paused, looking between your eyes and your lips.

“Yeah?” He asked and you couldn’t help but giggle, nodding your head towards the front of the car. “Green light.” Sonny’s eyes popped wide and his head whipped back to the road and he laughed loudly hitting the gas again. You grinned and laughed along with him, leaving your head resting on his free one.

[epaily]

dont read this im not 15 anymore i shouldnt be doing this

my fucking god the guy i like makes me want to tear my hair out. we hung out on saturday n the feelings are reciprocated so we cuddled and kissed alot. aloooooooot and i was over the moon with that but i swear every 10 fucking minutes he was asking to touch my boobs. im not exagerating. he kept saying he wouldnt do anything i dont want to do and im sure he wouldnt hurt me anyway but dude still. what part of im not interested in that dont you understand

not even just that but a few times he was on top of me and he pinned my wrists above my head which i didnt really want already and ALSO he put a hand on my throat not squeezing but still there and i REALLY didnt want that this is the least of my concerns here. i didnt think he had it in him honestly hes the dorkiest looking motherfucker. i could snap him in half. anyway.

hes so painfully my type i want to scream. he has it all. why did i give him my number why did i let us be friends im ace why does my type have to include having a dirty mind. i hate it here

we couldnt find the tv remote at one point n he reached between my legs and told me to take it out n ive told him to stop making gross jokes where im the focus ive told him im uncomfortable and hes not funny and he doesnt care I KNOW ITS A RED FLAG I KNOW I KNOWWWWWWWWWWW OKAY but every single other fucking thing about him is so fckng endearing. hes gorgeous. hes a genius. he likes anime and spiderman. his laugh lights up a room. when he talks in hindi i cant stop myself from smiling. he bought me pocky. he sleeps on an air mattress. ive never seen him in anything other then a turtle neck. he likes fruity smelling soaps and candles, its the only luxury he allows himself. he has the coolest fucking glasses.

yesterday he asked if we could put a name to this, i couldnt get the right words out and ask him to be my boyfriend properly, half because im easily flustered because I Dont Do This amd half because i dont want him to be. im a coward and i run from my problems so last night after chewing on it for 2 hours i texted him saying basically that i really wanted to date and be official because i like his dumb ass but i also know we arent compatible and its better we stay as friends. which sucks. im a coward and deleted snap immediately after so i havent seen if he said anything. i missed talking to him today. i got used to texting him all day so fast. i miss good morning and good night texts. last time we didnt talk for a day he tried other methods and asked if i was ok n if it was his fault and like it is but it isnt dude its complicated i hate myself i hate myself soooooooooo bad. did i mention this was the day after he saw me kinda cry out of frustration and sadness and he said it was one of the worst things hes ever seen/felt 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

he already said that if we dated it wouldnt be forever. he wants to fuck eventually and he wants it to mean something and not be with a hooker (i dont know if ive said this but if i dated someone i'd be fine w them getting a lady for the night LMFAO) which is fine! hes a cishet guy thats his right to want. im just so mad because now we've kissed and we've made out and i remember what cuddles are like and im SO MAD. this is the most ive felt towards anyone in the 3+ years and i cant have it because of my stupid sexuality. i wish i had said no to hanging out. i wish i had self restraint. i wish i hadnt hugged him. if he asks to hang out again im gonna say no. i want to show off my books and coins and wrap ourselves in blankets hes so fucking warm-

god damnit. God Fucking Damnit im not a teenager anymore.

im not ashamed of being ace or whatever im proud of it I Am Just Me im just a person but god it makes me mad sometimes because ive missed out on people ive wanted before and i will again and to be entirely fucking honest i dont know if i ever will. i dont think its even worth it. the older i get the harder it will be to say im not interested because people will assume im either waiting til marriage or im a prude and it will be more common place because everything is only ever sex sex sex and im tired of it man.

im like 99% sure he told me to stop texting him because he wasjacking it yesterday. ye gods.

tldr im so mad i like him so much and i cant have him.

im going to fucking bed

[ask-antihero-phoenix-blog]

The End Game

How long had it been since he could see, feel anything but his skin being torn apart and reformed as fire cackled deep in his ears, as his organs twisted into ash and dust within their replacements? Hours? Days? Years? He knew it was long enough that he could pretend his skin was numb, the fire a constant to his every waking moment, a buzzing, like a swarm of all his fears, all his woes, stingers pointed to target his very being. It was endless, it was timeless. He was powerless. Vague images swirled around him, faces he thought he knew, but hoped he didn't, screaming to warn them to run away, to kill him if they were going to stay, all drowned out by the burning flames.He sobbed at the broken burning image of his strongest friend, and a little girl he cherished. Memories flashed into his reality, a waking nightmare as the faces he adored melded into the faces of his past. Suddenly, he was not in New Rome, but in a field, golden , gentle breeze swaying his auburn locks as tears ran down his pudgy cheeks, tiny fists beating at the man's chest, screaming out for help that never came. And all at once, the man's face melted away, but his actions did not stop, the pain did not lesson. ‘You can be our perfect ‘altar boy’, can't you? Our sacrifice to Her, and a sacrifice to me. You deserve it you wretched little monster, skin blackened by the fire itself. You need to be cleansed.’ Allen screamed until he couldnt, body limp as the face of yet another loved one melded into his worst nightmare. Bile rose in his throat as he muttered the words over and over, becoming a bellowing scream, “All priests will be cleansed” And everything went dark. It was eons before he was allowed the gift of reality back, consumed in the memories he could never organize and never erase, his curse, his suffering on replay in front of him, sensations multiplied, as he was led into losing focus, losing hold of the little control he had. The voices inside his head roared in deafening anger for reasons unknown, at least until he felt the chill in the air. He could take no relief in that fact, however, as his finally clearing vision was clouded in smoke, lungs filling with black unbreathable air, like a thick blanket, and body filling with panic as his weak lungs tried desperately to work properly, hands reaching to his throat, hot tears running down his face. He thrashed in his column of smoke, praying no one else was affected, that he wasn't causing this too. Through the smoke came a red glow, blurred by the blinding tears in Allens eyes. All he could hear was familiar mumbling and he reached out ‘jason’. Thought the fires had receded in the city, focused around just the column of fire, a blast shot out of his hand much to his horror, heart stopping as it nailed Kick in the shoulder, making him falter, ‘no, please-’ It was too late, the act of aggression being seen as a direct line to plan B. Kick fired, and Allen felt his body rack with shock, choking stopping as his heart did, a small last measure of defense explosion bursting from his lifeless body and knocking kick to the ground, slamming him into a building wall. “Jason!” Lawrence wailed brokenly as he watched his lover fall, body limp as the crowd was torn between that spectacle and what now looked like a meteor cracking to the street, dead center of the city. Huttman has managed to just barely vault himself up, grappling hook secured against the lamppost as he caught Jason, crashing into the ground a few feet down, wind knocked out of him for a moment before he was frantically looking over Jason's bruised and swollen face. LAwrence sat up despite the screaming in his back and let out a choked scream of panic, “Jason, please, oh god- Bug!” He cried, looking over the melted shambles of Jason's metal arm and leg, casualties of the fire, Lawrence could've been been coerced to praying to whatever god drove Jason's hacking cough out of his body, accompanied with a groan that meant ot he still alive and kicking. LAwrence cradled his body to his chest, feeling Jason's good arm reach around to grip at Lawrence's suit, “Allen-” He wheezed softly, and Lawrence finally noticed the commotion behind him. Allen felt the impact rattle his skeleton, shaking his frame as his eyes snapped open, taking a deep breath of clean air, that was all he needed to throw his arms out, seeing a blurry figure running at him, a flash of blue. “venefica saepi!” Allen cried out, voice a rasp as a what looked like a purple orb formed around him with an audible whoosh of air. Alfred crashed into the force field, banging on it with his fists as Allen's body started to glow again, starting at the mark on his stomach as he stood up on shaky legs, stumbling forward to lean on the side of the orb Alfred was pounding on. He every breath ratted in his chest, he was a wreck, parts of his skin still working on reforming. Alfred was screaming, screaming for him to drop the field as Allen's eyes began to glow. “Stop...Alfred, stop it!” He screamed, shutting the blonde up, “For once shut up and listen to me!” He coughed raggedly, capturing the blonde's attention . “You have to go, You have to take everyone and go, I don't have time, and I don't know how far I can limit the blast-” “The blast!? What in fuck are you talking about-” “Listen to me, Alfred.” Allen silenced him as the heat grew in his shield, making him dizzy, “Do this for me?” He asked, and the look he cast up at his lover was heart wrenching, full of mixed emotions, adoration, fear, pain, longing, enough to catch Alfred off guard As Allen looked up at Alfred his body shook, not from pain but fear. He pressed his palms to the edges of the field, taking in Alfred face, committing it to memory he would never have again. He could see the crowd gathering closer, saw his darling Peter, still so young and bright, tears staining his young cheeks and he looked to allen with uncertainty, fear, and a childish need for comfort. But was it really so childish? After all, all Allen wanted was to fall into Alfreds arm and sleep, to hear him say it would all be alright, like he always did. The best he could have, the best he would ever have was Alfred hands moving, pressing their palms together, his eyes empty of much emotion as he confusedly felt tears running down his face. Allen own face was long from being dry as he saw kick being held tight, alive and surrounded by rubble, a ragged sob running through Allen as he saw only a small glimpse at the havoc he had caused, the suffering, the pain he had only kept to himself having finally lashed out on everyone he loved. He truly wasn't meant to love. Everyone he loved suffered and died, everything he touched wilted. Allen eyes scanned over the crowd of solomon supers, some of them understanding already what Allen had to do. “Alfred… repair the city and take care of Peter don't you ever let him get hurt. Him, Jason, Lawrence, all these damn kid are they best hope we got. It's time for me to retire anyway, i'm too old to be running around in the body of a teen, how many years has it been, how many lives have I had?” He was rambling, he knew it, but he couldn't stop. What could you possibly do when all your life you bit your tongue, only to have so much to say right at the end. “Take Peter and run, get as many people out of the center as possible, promise me.” Alfred's hands tightened to fists, but the resolve in Allens eyes was once he knew he couldn't fight. “I'll be okay.” Allen promised, the only lie he could ever tell to his partner. Alfred tried to found some hope in Allen integrity, after all, he couldn't tell a lie, and he had to know what he was doing. Alfred hissed in pain as the field became scalinding to the touch, jerking his hands back and feeling his heart wrench at Allens sad smile. “Alfred, thank you. For the best time of my life. I have lived through timelines again and again and never have I been able to find as much peace as you've given me. I love you. I'll always love you, Baby Blue. “ Allen felt his consciousness slipping, he would have to do this soon. “Tell Peter, jason, Lawrence, Viktor, Ollie tell them I loved them, that I would've ….i want to see them grow and…” Allen hung his head, “And that I'm so sorry, tell them all I'm sorry.” He Fell to his knees and looked up at Alfred, “Go...Go now Alfred.” Allen turned and caught Lawrence's eye, a subtle nod passing between the two as inexplicable tears clouded Lawrence’s eyes. He scooped up Jason’s weakened body, holding him carefully, pressed to his chest bridal style, ignoring the screaming in his own back. “Lawrence..Lawrence, wh-whats happening. “ Jason rasped, looking up at his partner and wishing he could reach up to wipe his tears away. “We’re leaving.” Lawrence said simply, starting off at a jog, all he could manage at the moment, stumbling at first. “ “What! No!” Jason coughed, but didn't stop his protests, “Law, we have to go back, he's still back there, everyone else is still back there-” “And they won't be if they don't leave too. “ Lawrence said, shoving all turmoil he may have had deep down so he could focus on what mattered; Jason's safety. “What...No, Lawrence-” Kick managed to tilt his head and see the commotion, certain supers running off, Alfred slowly turning away from Allen and scooping Peter up despite his screaming, Allen's last request of him bouncing around his head ‘don't..don't let him see, baby blue.’ ‘They Are ocean blue, princess...i'll say i love you when I see you next.’ He could still hear Allen's laugh now, a broke and tired thing, somehow still the most genuine laugh he’d ever heard from the smaller male. Jason was screaming at Lawrence as best he could, and Lawrence's ignored him the whole time, eventually letting his own tears fall as he felt the heat grow in the middle of the city, picking up the pace. Allen slumped against the orb wall, sniffling quietly. He wanted to held, to wanted to go home and crawl into bed with his lover, he wanted to see the old dogs at the shelter. He wanted to live. For the first time in forever..he wanted to live. Allen laughed weakly, bitterly as his vision went red, the pain consuming his body slowly now welcome as the fire burned, engulfing him in his own personal snow globe of Hell. “All these years, all those times I tried to kick the bucket, and the one time it matters..I don't want to die.” Allen laughed louder, turning into a hacking cough as he fell against the broken street. “You win, Father Sakroy, the monster is cleansed. I'll see you in hell.’ Allen fed the flames, feeling his skin tear and rip and he arched and screamed into a void no one would hear, his body degrading faster than he could regenerate, inside out. Memories flashed by his eyes, but they were not the torture he had endured for weeks, the blurred faces of his molesters, tormentors, abusers. He saw the face of his mother, smiling and calm, his brother, sly grin and all. Alfred, Victor, Peter, Jason, LAwrence, Oliver, smiling, laughing, Jul, Alice, Shiro, all the people he’d met , the roles they played, big and small, that made it that much more fulfilling to have lived through this second life...That made it so much harder to let go. He hoped somewhere deep in his heart that...they were as affected by him as he them, that he had made a difference. Intimacy, Love, joy, laughter, he felt so many emoitonas at once, so many he never thought he'd get to have. Despite the way he shrieked, he smiled in the end, the flames doing what they were meant to do. Destroy. Once Allen's body was useless, once his heart finally stopped, the magic seal was broken, the flames exploded, sending buildings to the ground around him, no civilians in its wake. Peter shrieked, a call of Allen's name as Alfred pressed the child's face into his chest, running as fast as he could without hurting the boy in his arms, only stopping with he knew it would be safe to return. He set Peter down, ignore whoever or whatever had been in the wake of the explosion, “Stay.” He ordered the bawling boy, running back and seeing the burning remains of the city's center, and the slowly healing source in the middle. Alfred's heart leapt as he saw that Allen’s physical form was intact, that meant he could heal, he was sure of it. He skidded to a stop in front of the boy, staring at the mangled mess, broken cracking in his body as the last of Allen's dissipating magic tried to mend his body before it gave out. Alfred took off his jacket and laid it over Allen's waist. His body was nothing new to alfred, but he knew Allen cared somewhat about public decency. His hands shook as he felt for a pulse, something, anything to tell him he was alive. Alfred jolted and his eyes watered as he felt Allen's skin, that alone was enough to tell him what he needed. It was ice cold, unlike all of Allen's other regeneration periods, similar to comas, where his skin ran hot, like an intense fever. Alfred dropped to his knees and shook his head, holding Allen close and shaking, not with sadness, fear, or grief, but with laughter. “Stop playing around, this isn't funny… fuck...stop playing..” Alfred's laughter became strained as he looked over the smaller male's face, “stop...You fucking liar...you dirty liar you said you be okay, you promised me! You liar! I held up my end of the deal!” Alfred held Allen close and cried into the crook of the dead man's neck, “You..you could've burned this whole city down...you're too nice, you could have ran away with me instead. I should have known someone like you would pull something like this. I'll..i'll take care of you…” He mumbled, rocking back and forth as gripped him tighter, staring at nothing at all, blue eyes watching as Allen's powers faded, only the mark on his stomach left as a reminder. The sparse bits of fire crackled, almost laughing at the two, all that remained of the Phoenix now. I dont have the will to edit this man. Thank you all for the journey, and for the fun times. ^^ this was my favroite au to be in.

[peaceific-a]

For $7,000 dollars, you have been dared to allow another player to lock you in a body storage container in a morgue for 45 minutes.

Heart racing, pulse hard and fast underneath his skin - he could hear nothing but the rush of his own blood as Noah started feeling dizzy. His hands were wet with sweat, breathing shallow. He remembered the feeling of being trapped, remembered it from another dare - one he would have chosen over this one, if he had a chance. Noah was standing in front of the body container he was supposed to stay in for 45 minutes - God, 45 minutes, that was such a long time. He knew how long they could seem while he was bored, but while he was scared and felt like dying? They would feel like an eternity. 

 "Okay. Okay. I got this. I  got this." Noah was speaking more to himself than Anna, who was supposed to keep the container closed, or Adrian, who had insisted on staying nearby. At least his two best friends were here - the woman who meant the world to him and the man he loved with all of his heart. 

 If he was gonig to die? At least he would have seen them one last time. Of course Noah knew that dying wasn't an actual possibility, but ... fuck, did it have to be a morgue, of all places? Noah felt like dying whenever he was in a small room to begin with, and now ... now he would be on his back, in the dark, in the one place countless other dead bodies had been before. 

 "I got this", once more, before Noah forced himself to climb into the container, feeling even dizzier than before. He couldnt breathe, he couldn't breathe, and ... fuck, he could feel tears of pure terror prickling behind his eyes.

"Close the door", a hoarse whisper, voice nearly breaking midsentence. What he hadn't expected, however? For Adrian to climb into the container, right on top of him, seconds before Anna closed the door to lock both of them in.

Adrian:

His heart was racing almost as rapidly as Noah's, watching him try to psych himself up. He hadn't told Noah his plan, hadn't let him know that he damn well planned on joining him. Noah would have simply ARGUED with him, would have made it difficult for them both, so it was only when Noah asked them to close the door that he exchanged a glance with Anna, nodding before he clambered onto the platform. 

 He laid his body down over Noah's, stretching out over him like a living blanket, ducking his head as Anna slid them into the container and closed the door. The locking mechanism shut with a very final click, leaving them in darkness. Being in there with Noah meant there was even less room, but hopefully, he could help him to relax by the time he made it out.

                 ❛ you didn't think i'd let you do this ALONE, did you ?  ❜

Noah:

It was ... It was strange. Noah had been prepared to be confronted with nothing but darkness and silence, but instead his mind focused on something else altogether when Anna locked him in. 

 Locked them in. 

 "What are you doing?!" Voice breathless, still, sounding so... strange in this room. Noah should have been even more scared considering the fact that Adrian was taking away even more space, but Noah had started associating the man with safety a long time ago. The weight of his body on top of his own wasn't threatening, it reassured and reminded him that he was still very much alive.

Adrian:

❛ i'm sticking with you, obviously. ❜ 

 his voice seemed to echo metallically in the tiny space, and he leaned down to press a kiss to where he ASSUMED noah's lips were, finding that he just missed them and kissed the corner of noah's mouth, instead. close enough. his hands framed noah's face, keeping himself propped up on his elbows, the back of his head brushing the top of the refrigerated space. god, it was cold in here, and it was a damn good thing they had each other for body warmth.

                 ❛ i'm madly in love with you, i couldn't handle being apart for a whole forty-five minutes. ❜ a chuckle, trying to distract noah as he ran a hand through his hair. ❛ so now we're here. alone together. ❜

Noah:

Noah's gaze darted through the darkness, trying to find something to look at, something to visually focus on. Or was that a bad idea? Would he just start picking up on the walls of the container, coming closer, closer, closer ... 

 His heartbeat had started picking up again, and Noah was surely Adrian would be able to feel it pounding in his chest. Noah had read up on this long ago - the body's reactions to fear, and whether an actual heartattack was likely or not. Panic attacks, 'luckily', only made it seem like dying, though, and more often than not, death wasn't likely after all. 

 For a moment he was distracted by his own screaming mind, before the touch of Adrian's hands pulled him back into reality, forcing him to focus on something better, something warmer, something alive. Noah opened his mouth to answer, but there was no word leaving his lips, just a choked chuckle, more desperate than amused.

Adrian:

❛ hey. hey, kid, stay with me. ❜ 

 he could feel noah's hammering heart, and he took a deep breath, leaning down to press his lips over noah's, more accurately this time, forcing him to focus on him, rather than their tiny surroundings. he was GRATEFUL, in a way, for the pitch black around them -- it made it impossible to see the walls, and as long as his arms around noah could keep him from touching them, it would be easier to keep him from realizing just HOW cramped the space was.

                 ❛ you remember when we were kids ? how we'd crawl underneath your bed to hide when your mom came in to tell me my mom wanted me home ? ❜

Noah:

It took a moment for Adrian's to register, but focusing on his kiss was easier. Warm. Alive. They were still alive. Noah closed his eyes as he tried to lean into the kiss without moving too much - he was scared of what his body would find outside of the safe 'cage' of Adrian's arms. He didn't want to feel those walls, didn't want to know where the room ended. He wanted to focus on Adrian, and Adrian only. 

 How much time had passed? Five minutes? Four? One? Ten seconds? Noah didn't know and it nearly drove him insane. 

 "... Yeah. Yeah, I remember", hoarsly as he tried to mentally go back to that time, that place. The space underneath his bed had been small, of course, but no walls had kept them from getting proper air - the safety of his big room had always been just inches away. That had been safe, and Noah tried to believe that it was that very place they were currently at, and not the cold insides of a body container.

Adrian:

❛ she'd pretend she couldn't find us, so she and my mom could talk for longer, ❜ he chuckled, kissing him again, before slowly leaning down to bury his face against noah's neck, keeping him close, and safe. how long had it been? he couldn't tell, didn't know, but he knew he had to keep noah close and focused on him until they were allowed out. ❛ and then we'd lay under there and play video games, like they couldn't see the wires from the controllers leading to under the bed. ‘

Noah:

He had to stay focused, had to stay in that safe mental space of their childhood. He had loved that time - everything had been easy and safe, and God, he had enjoyed spending every second of his time with Adrian so much. Not much had changed in that department, really. 

 "I knew, back then. You'd stay my best friend, no matter what. I knew our friendship was ..." Noah trailed off, inhaling a sharp breath as he closed his eyes again. It was so hard to focus, to stay focused. "... I knew it was ... it was a friendship for life."

Adrian:

❛ me too, ❜ he answered, kissing his jaw gently, trying to keep him focused and safe within the mental space he was trying to create. ❛ you know i had a crush on you even back then? before i even knew i could crush on guys?  ❜ he chuckled, pulling noah closer. it had to have been a while now, right ? it was almost impossible to tell in this complete darkness. thank god anna was on the outside waiting for them.

Noah:

"You did?", breathlessly, opening his eyes again and attempting to look at Adrian, but ... no, he couldn't make him out in the darkness of the container. "I had no idea." Silence for some moments, his breathing entirely too loud in his own ears. "I remember wanting to spend all of my time with you, and feeling weirdly ... incomplete whenever you couldn't be around for whatever reason."

Adrian:

❛ can you believe it took this long to get together ? ❜ he asked with a laugh, kissing noah's cheek, still keeping him close and warm, despite the chill in the area. a light shiver ran down his spine, and he pressed even closer to his boyfriend. ❛ it took this stupid game to get us to be honest with each other. ❜

Noah:

"That was the only dare I'm actually thankful for", voice still hoarse. "I was so scared to be honest with you, I didn't think you were in love with me, too." Fuck, but his body was growing numb, he had to move, he had to -- Shifting every so slightly, Noah felt his foot bump against the wall of the container - way closer than he had expected. His heartbeat picked up, suddenly, hands growing sweaty again, labored breathing bringing back the feeling of dizziness, and there ... there was the panic, suddenly, flooding him out of nowhere. Noah tried to sit up, irrationally so, his other foot bumping against the walls as well. Oh God. Oh God. "Are they coming closer?", words almost incoherent, more slurred than properly spoken, panic making it impossible to speak clearly so. "I need to get out. I need to get out!"

Adrian:

"Noah!" Adrian shifted, pressing his body down against his boyfriend's, trapping him within his grasp. his legs shifted down to press Noah's inward, holding him tightly, his lips pressed over noah's once more, attempting to confine him with something far safer than these cold walls -- his body. "focus on me. don't you dare think about it. focus on me. i'm here. look, i'm warm, and i'm safe, and we're going to be okay. they're not coming closer. they're not even here. we're just under your bed again, right? it's night time."

Noah:

There was a noise close to a mewl, terrified, overwhelmed for a moment. Moving was bad, he knew that - he would bump against the walls and panic even more so, so Noah at least tried to do what Adrian told him to. He trusted him, more than anyone else, so he let him force his body into a safer position again. "It's night time", he forced himself to repeat, eyes tightly squeezed shut again. "We're just under my bed."

Adrian:

"We're just under your bed," he repeated, gaze focused on Noah, his expression soft and worried, and he was glad that noah couldn't see it. "I'm going to move, okay? Hang on, don't move." He had to squirm around a bit to manage it, but he pulled his phone out of his pockets, wriggling around until he could find his earbuds and connect them. "I want you to close your eyes," he murmured, knowing the light from his phone would show noah their confined surroundings. "Close them and don't open them until I say so.

Noah:

He was so fucking terrified, but God, he was also so glad that Adrian was here with him. He would have simply lost his mind without his best friend so close, knowing him inside and out, more than capable to distract Noah when needed. "Okay", hoarsly - Noah wouldn't even question Adrian, wouldn't question what he was planning. So he stayed completely still, just as told, and closed his eyes, keeping them tightly shut.

Adrian:

Adrian squinted as he lit up his phone, grimacing until his eyes adjusted, scrolling through his music until he found an album he knew he and noah both enjoyed -- and one he knew for certain that Noah knew every single lyric to. It took some incredibly uncomfortable maneuvering, but he managed to press the earbuds into Noah's ears, turning the music up loud enough to hopefully block out his panicked thoughts, before pinning the light of his phone between their bodies, extinguishing it, and laying down on noah again. "Okay. We're all good. We're okay."

[sinceileftyoublog]

Jessica Moss Interview: Failed Truths

Photo by Joseph Yarmush

BY JORDAN MAINZER

Best known for her work Godspeed You! Black Emperor and Thee Silver Mt. Zion Memorial Orchestra, violinist and sound artist Jessica Moss has developed a prolific and provocative solo career. Late last year, she released Entanglement, her second solo album. Like its predecessor Pools of Light, it’s divided into two distinct parts--this time around, a 20-minute track called “Particles” inspired by quantum theory and four numbered tracks of “Fractals”. An excellent record, it shows Moss continuing what made past releases so successful, the combination of layered, building, heady studio composition with raw and wonderful spontaneity.

I spoke to Moss about Entanglement from her home in Montreal last month the morning after her record release show. Be sure to catch her on tour right now opening for Julia Holter, including Thursday at Thalia Hall, and read the interview, edited for length and clarity, below.

Since I Left You: Entanglement has two distinct parts, the first inspired by quantum theory. When did your interest in quantum theory begin?

Jessica Moss: My interest in that started and ended just by hearing about entanglement theory almost in passing. I was listening to a podcast about something else, and they casually mentioned entanglement theory and how it works, with two particles becoming entangled and affecting each other at a great distance and forever. It blew my mind and opened up my doors about magical thinking and human entanglement and the way we affect each other. I found it romantic, and beautiful, and sad, and terrifying. It was an explosion of ideas, and I started working from there. I don’t have much of a grasp on the science behind it. The fact of it was the inspiration. It made me think more about us in the world. It’s pretty incredible.

SILY: The second part of the album saw you experiment with live recording--you recorded, amplified, and sampled.

JM: I always record that way. I pull things completely apart and then carefully put them back together.

SILY: So what differentiates the four parts of “Fractals”?

JM: Basically, I had this melody that had jumped into my mind and fingers. I’d play around with it every time I picked up my violin at a soundcheck. I knew I wanted it to be a focus for the record I was going to make. I was trying to find the perfect iteration and the perfect arrangement to feature this melody, and I kept trying to make the perfect version of it, and I kept failing at that. I would create the arrangements around it but couldn’t fit the melody in properly. But looking at what I had created around [the melody], I fell in love with [the arrangements] instead. It became a search for truth in a way. I was trying to express this one true thing, but I couldn’t. It made me meditate on, “What is truth?” Maybe the work you do around searching for truth is the truth. These four tracks are both failed attempts and better versions of this melody. It became a metaphor for allowing imperfect things to be perfect in their own way.

SILY: How do you adapt the tracks to a live performance?

JM: So far, I’ve been able to adapt only two of four “Fractals”--the one that’s all vocals and the last one, I feel that I can’t properly express them live by myself. I’m inspired and excited about gathering some kind of ensemble in the next while to be able to play those two parts that I feel need others with me, and also parts of the previous record I haven’t been able to express live either, the whole second half called “Glaciers”.

SILY: The parts you do perform live--when you’re on stage, do you go through that same mental truth-seeking shift when you’re up there?

JM: Yes, very much so. The “Fractals” pieces have sort of transformed as I performed them live. I travel usually by myself when I tour--no transportation, no sound manager--it’s just me, my pedals, and my violin when I show up. It’s given me this beautiful opportunity to give me a window into community efforts to put on shows. Communities of people who put on shows are little microcosms of communities working together. If I’m lucky, it’s a collective working on it, and I can witness and appreciate the different ways that collectives work. I can see similarities and differences everywhere I go. To me, it’s the most beautiful idea and thing in the world--people working together for the sake of working together and doing something good. In a small way, to put on a show, but in a big way, to change the world. I’m a solo vessel right now--a satellite--but I’ve had [collective work] in my life, and I look forward to having it again in my life. But right now, I feel a bit like a researcher of collective work. Somehow, the two pieces I do perform called “Fractals” have meant more to me as a meditation of working together. I think about that when I perform those two. When I perform the “Particles” side, I’m thinking about everybody in the room--connection, romance, heartbreak. I’m a pretty emotional performer, I’d say. [laughs]

SILY: In the past, you’ve been part of collectives--like some of the bands you’ve been in--but now you say you’re more of a researcher. What have you observed about commonalities between collectives?

JM: There are similar dynamics at play. Similar personalities get drawn in, and similar difficulties occur between people aiming towards the same point. I almost feel like the closer in kind the people are aiming towards the point, the more difficulties there are. If you’re almost on the same page as someone, it can be more painful than being on a completely different page. So I’ve observed dynamics that interrupt good work but also heroic efforts to get over those dynamics and point towards the original goal. That’s the most beautiful moment--learning to allow for small differences and working towards what you’re trying to do. Sometimes, it fails when you’re trying to get there.

SILY: Do you feel like the material, when you play it, takes on its own life? Has it expanded beyond when it was recorded?

JM: Absolutely. Entanglement I toured a lot before I recorded it, as did I “Entire Populations” on [Pools of Light]. Just by coincidence, the records had a similar experience in that the first half is something I created by playing it live, building it slowly but surely into what it was, but the other half came out of my mind as a goal and was created more in the studio. I have played “Particles” now 60 times live. It is never once the same exactly. The day it starts feeling like I’m playing something the exact same way I did yesterday, I’ll move on. I don’t want to put on a show that’s easy and that I can count on. Every night, it’s affected by who is there, the room, the amps I’m borrowing, the promoters that are there, the conversations I’ve had. It all feeds into that evening’s performance.

SILY: What else are you working on at the moment?

JM: I’ve been incredibly busy, so everything I’m working on at the moment has been in my mind. In terms of my own stuff, I feel like I could go into the studio and make another record right now, but that’s impractical, so I’m going to take my time and work slowly. I hope to have another release as soon as I can. [laughs]

SILY: Is there anything you’ve been listening to, reading, or watching that’s caught your attention?

JM: There’s so much in my mind right now, but I’ve been listening to the sound of wolves howling. I just listen to different recordings of wolves howling. I actually played some last night at my launch [show]. I came across somebody posting something about wolves howling, and I thought about how it’s such a beautiful type of communication. I wish we could communicate like that instead of the Internet. I wish we could go outside and howl longingly and talk about this fucking fucked up world. So basically, yeah, that’s what I would say is what I’m most thinking about at the moment.