#its why i had to leave that label behind and its so so much better now but i cant go back

[trckstergods]

.

[prime-adeptus]

Uncover

You find yourselves in an unknown territory.

✧ PAIRING: Ramattra x GN!Reader

✦ CONTENT: Ambiguous relationships, not canon compliant, emotional hurt/comfort, no dialogue, non-sexual intimacy. Possibly OOC?? I did my best though q_q ~0,5k words

✧ NOTES: I've been yearning a lot lately 👹

AO3 | Masterlist | @houseofsolisoccasum @interstellar-inn

Could a machine know how to love?

The question rings in your mind once again as you stare into where Ramattra’s eyes would be. Cold fingertips cup the side of your face, caressing your skin with a fondness you haven’t felt since you’d left home. Blood rushes beneath the surface of your cheeks, warming the steel pressed against you just the slightest. He towers over your frame with ease, which would intimidate you any other time, but with him, you don’t feel that way. You feel safe, protected.

It’s hard to think of what he is to you. It’s harder to think of what you mean to him. You’ve lived a life of uncertainty, and moments like these are no different. Somehow, you don’t feel as rigid. There’s no need to put a label on what you have with Ramattra. You know you hold at least some meaning to him, otherwise he wouldn’t have let you stay for this long. He wouldn’t tell you to wait for him to return if you meant nothing. He’s straightforward, though he speaks to you without vitriol.

You suppose you have your teetering the line between machine and human to thank. Even your peers don’t know how to classify you. All you know is that you’re some sort of freak, a misfit, someone so incapable of becoming part of a community no matter how hard they try. You’re too withdrawn yet you talk too much, wearing out whoever you speak to. You’re kind yet you’re too unapproachable, your face stone cold in every happening. Things out of your control led you to become an outcast.

Solitude was all you’d known in your entire life, but the ache for companionship never quite goes away. The desire to be loved as you are feeds into the ache instead of suppressing it. It’s an innate desire for all humans, you think, and it’s one you can’t seem to get rid of. You always question him—asking him why he keeps you around, why he treats you differently, and not once has he ever had an answer for you.

Something burns behind your nose, creeping up to your eyes as tears brim their corners and slide down your cheeks. With trembling hands, you clasp them over his and allow a choked whimper to leave your lips, overwhelmed by every sentiment possible. You try to speak, but your throat closes up and your mind goes blank, forcing you into silence.

That’s fine. He never forces you to talk. He knows how difficult it is to be vulnerable and put into words all your thoughts and feelings, even if speech comes so naturally to him. The quietude that blankets over the both of you is comfortable. The wind whistles in the forests outside and snow falls to the ground, but you can hardly feel the chill in your bones. The cloak he draped over your shoulders is more than enough to shield you from the cold despite its roughness against your skin.

You nuzzle your face into the palm of his hand and sigh. The tempest in your mind won’t quell. It never has. You’ll always question everything again and again just to wind up dissatisfied with the outcome. You know that better than anyone. And you know you’ll eventually have to address whatever your situation with him is, but as you melt into his touch, you wonder if you really have to.

Maybe you don’t need that answer. Maybe it’s fine to let things be as they are.

[progamer27]

EPIC: The Musical - Character Growth

I like it when characters aren't one-dimensional, especially main characters.

Sure, it's fine and fun to have characters who are solely evil or solely good from time to time.

But I vastly prefer characters that go thru some sort of development - that takes its time -, and then come out changed by the experience.

Enter: Odysseus and Athena (and also Eurylychous)

I think it's pretty safe to say that, at least at the start of the musical, a lot of people didn't like Athena and Eurylychous too much - and were quick to label them as, at the very least, "villain-adjecent".

But now that we have had 6 out of 8 Sagas released, we can understand them better. And same for Odysseus.

Eurylychous: In the Odyssey, he is a minor character whose only role is to be a plot device (killing and eating Helios's cattle). In EPIC, Eurylychous is shown as someone more focused on the crew than anything else. Brash and Hot-headed, he is the opposite of Odysseus.

So, why is he interesting? Because we SEE (or HEAR) how he grows from just; a soldier whose first instinct is to murder (Lotus Eaters) or flee (After blinding Polypheamus), to a desperate man who wants to get back home as fast as possible - even if it means leaving his comrades behind (Circe), to a man who needs to confess his guilt (Scylla, as a follow up to Keep Your Friends Close and Puppeteer), to someone who's desperate and has given up entirely (Mutiny and Thunder Bringer).

In conclusion: Eury isn't a villain, but Just a Man. He made mistakes and was abrasive, but so would many people in his place.

ATHENA: In Greek Mythology, Athena is one of the most Hubris-Filled (Prideful) Goddesses out there. In EPIC, she is much of the same... at the Start.

Because Remember, prior to the Wisdom Saga, we only really saw/heard Athena 3 times. And in those 3 times, we get presented with who she is at the moment; A Goddess who views Odysseus as a "project/creation" (Warrior of the Mind and Remember Them), and as the less rose-tinted Goddess who lost her friend because of the circumstances (My Goodbye).

Now, at this point in time, most people would simply label Athena as a "typical greek goddess" - that is to say, a deity who doesn't really view humans as equal to her, and who lacks Humanity.

....until she meets Telemachus.

Then, the characterization... matures; she becomes less closed-off (We'll Be Fine), admits that she was pushing too hard (Little Wolf), realizes that what she did to Ody was HORRIBLE - and, if I may interject, she will probably be a bit shocked/traumatized at seeing Ody trying to kill himself (Love in Paradise), and finally as someone who realized they STILL CARE for their friend, and that tried to do everything to save them (God Games)

In Short: Athena went from being an unlikable cold goddess - one who refused to comprehend human emotions -, to being much more "human".

(And please, if you are a fanfic writer, try to write a story where Athena just... realizes how shitty her life was, and how badly she treated others, and let her have an home with the Itachan Family. She needs her friends, and she probably needs to express her emotions in an healtier way)

ODYSSEUS:....

....

....

What is there to say? The musical is ABOUT HIM, and about how the line between man and monster (good and evil) is incredibly thin... but also about how you CAN come back from the brink, how you can "Become Yourself" again.

In the Odyssey - even if the story is a banger -, I didn't get the impression that Odysseus changed too much. Sure, he may have some trauma and suicidial thoughts, but he didn't do a 180°, then another one, and finally got a better understanding of life. He was still just... Odysseus, the King of Itacha and Father of Telemachus. Odysseus, the Silver-Tounged Liar. Odysseus the sacker of cities.

In Epic....

...Well, I think you know where I'm going with this..

In Conclusion: The EPIC versions of the characters feel like Actual Characters - almost actual humans - who make mistakes and aren't wholly "pure villainy" or "goodie two-shoes".

Sure, we have example of both of these things (Goodie = Polites, Penelope, Astynax; Villains = Poseidon, Polyphemus, Scylla, Zeus, The Suitors), as well as some morally-grey ones (Dark Grey/Leaning toward Evil = Calypso; Light Gray/Leaning towards Good= Circee, Aeolus, Tiresias)

But i think that I've said enough.

[augiewrites]

"unknown / nth" - richie jerimovich

summary: y/n reflects on their relationship with richie (inspired by hozier's unknown / nth)

pairing: richie jerimovich x reader

word count: 1.4k

warnings: angst, a lot of hurt with no comfort, reader and richie are toxic :(

a/n: i've been staring at this draft for so long idk how to feel

previous

The question kept ringing in Y/N’s head for days to come.

What are we? I mean, we’re friends, right?

Y/N didn’t know if they could be friends with Richie. He had been breaking their heart for as long as they could remember.

1995

The flashing lights and thumping bass was giving Y/N a headache. They never thought they would hate senior prom so much. 

It wouldn’t be so bad—Y/N thought, bringing a cup of spiked punch to their lips—if Richie hadn’t run off to god knows where with Mikey.

Richie wasn’t a bad boyfriend, per se, but their relationship wasn’t always conventional. Hell, they didn’t have a label until nearly a year into their relationship, when some jock hit on Y/N right in front of Richie. He started a fight with the boy—one he wouldn’t have won if Mikey wasn’t there—but he made one thing clear: Y/N belonged to Richie, and Richie belonged to Y/N.

A small smile made its way to Y/N’s face at the memory, but fell quickly when they remembered their current situation. It had been thirty minutes, and there was no sign of their date.

With a huff, Y/N shoved their unfinished cup into Fak’s hand—Y/N didn’t care to know how he snuck in to the function—and headed for the gymnasium doors.

If Richie was going to run off into school with Mikey, then Y/N would run off altogether.

They made it halfway across the parking lot before rapid footsteps approached and they heard a yell of, “hey! Where are you going?”

Y/N halted against their better judgment, letting Richie catch up to them.

“What’s up? Where are you going?” Richie’s hand found Y/N’s waist as he tried to catch his breath.

Y/N was disappointed, but not surprised. Richie had a track record of fucking up without realization—it was just something they had to accept when they got involved with the boy. 

Y/N continued walking, letting Richie’s hand drop. “I’m going home, Rich.” Richie scoffed and started following once he realized his partner was serious.

“What do you mean you’re going home? I thought we were having a good time?”

“If we means you and Mike, then yeah. I’m sure you were having a good time.” It was uncharacteristically cold for May, and Y/N shuddered as they rubbed their bare arms.

Richie draped his tux jacket over their shoulders without skipping a beat. “C’mon, we just had some business that needed taken care of.”

“Well what about me? Don’t I deserve to be taken care of?” Y/N couldn’t even look at him as they continued, “I swear, you should just leave me and marry Mikey. You’d probably be a lot happier.”

“Hey,” desperation seeped into Richie’s tone as he lightly gripped Y/N’s arm, bringing the two of them to a halt. “I’m here now, why don’t we just take two on this shit and try having a good time? Together.”

Y/N finally met Richie’s eyes, “We’ll have a good time, but for how long? Huh? How long before you ditch me again? You always do this, and I always just go along with it.”

“I don’t always ditch you.”

“Oh really? What about homecoming? The holiday party? Last weekend at Little Greg’s? I can go on.”

Richie guffawed, flailing his arms out.

Y/N continued forward, “I’m going home. I don’t know why I expected anything else from tonight.”

“Y/N—wait,” he caught up to them again, “at least let me take you home. You’re not walking alone this late.”

They ignored him and kept going.

“You either get in the car or I’m walking right behind you the whole way there.”

Y/N walked the whole way home, only acknowledging his presence to hand him his jacket before closing the door firmly in his face.

They were back together by Monday.

1998

Three years. It was the longest Y/N and Richie had ever gone without breaking up.

Y/N had taken a gap year after graduation before making the decision to attend a university in Nowhere, Pennsylvania. The couple had gotten pretty good at the long distance thing—call schedules, risque polaroids crammed into letters, Y/N spending all breaks and long weekends in Chicago, and Richie coming to them when he could pawn his weekend shifts onto someone else.

It worked at first, but the relationship was strained once Y/N finally began to settle into their new life. Their classes got more demanding, trips home were more infrequent, and they were down to one biweekly call if they were lucky.

Y/N should have seen it coming, but Richie should have had better timing.

Y/N was on a plane to Chicago two hours after their last final was handed in, and the pair was nearly inseparable for the two weeks leading up to Christmas. Everything seemed fine—perfect, even—and Y/N was so happy to finally have their man right there, in the flesh.

Against their better judgment, Y/N found themself at the Berzatto Christmas dinner. It was loud and multiple fights had broken out throughout the evening, but Y/N had gotten through dinner relatively unscathed.

That was, until Richie pulled them into an empty room.

“I think we should break up.”

The melody of loud conversations and playful scuffles throughout the house fell deaf on Y/N’s ears as they felt the walls close in on them.

“Wh-what?”

“I just think we need some time apart, is all.”

“Time apart? Practically all of our time is apart.”

“Yeah, I mean…” Richie trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck and looking everywhere but at Y/N. “I guess that’s part of the problem.”

Y/N didn’t want to cry. Not here, not now, not when they’d have to push through a crowd of the most overbearing people on the planet to make an exit. They cursed the hot tears flowing freely down their cheeks. 

“It’s not just on me to come here to you, you know. You never come visit me at school.”

“C’mon, Y/N, you know I work.”

“And I don’t? I’m constantly putting my life—my livelihood—on hold just so you’re not lonely for a weekend.”

“Look, I’m not trying to fight about this,” Y/N scoffed at Richie’s words, but he continued, “having you here has just been a reminder of how much I hate this long distance shit. It ain’t fair to me.”

“It’s not fair to you? You think it doesn’t kill me to not be able to be here with you?” Y/N hated how pathetic their cracking voice made them sound.

Richie’s eyes finally locked onto Y/N’s.

“Well, you were the one that chose to leave.”

Richie’s words sunk their teeth into Y/N’s heart, and they could feel a chunk being ripped out as they turned to leave the room without another word.

They were barely aware of their surroundings as they made their way through the house to the front door. Blood was pumping so loudly in their ears that they didn’t hear Sugar asking if they were okay or the harmony of Carmy and Mike assaulting Richie with varying versions of “what the hell did you do?”

Y/N grabbed their coat, but didn’t take the time to put it on before moving swiftly out the door and into the cold, letting its finite slam ricochet through the empty street.

Present

Y/N spent a lot of time thinking about all the things they wanted to say to Richie at that moment. They wanted to tell him about how the distance never made a difference to them—that they were just happy to know he was out there and they would be back home full time in just a few years. That they loved Richie—even being all too familiar with his bad side. That they couldn’t imagine a future without him.

Richie was a chapter of their life Y/N was never able to fully close. Over the years following the breakup, Y/N would visit home and end up in Richie’s bed more times than they were proud of. 

Y/N stopped coming home after Sugar broke the news that Richie and Tiff were engaged.

Even after all the years, Y/N could never find the courage to tell Richie how they truly felt about him. Even now, they could break beneath the weight of the goodness they still held for him.

It was like a cruel joke that their lives were aligning again. Y/N had to fight the hope blossoming in their chest—it never did them much good with Richie, anyway.

~~~

feedback is appreciated!

[eds6ngel]

another idea: reader going over to robin and vickie’s with steve for dinner one night, robin talks to reader about how good reader is for steve, little bonding moment with robin, and reader starts to feel deeper love, then fluff with steve and maybe a reciprocation of feelings? I think that’s it for now, but you don’t have to do any of them! thank you so much for writing the series, its soooo good and I can’t wait for any spin-offs!

hi my love!! i started off with this one as it goes in the order i'd like to tackle my asks in! i changed it up slightly (not too much), so i hope you enjoy!! ♡

warnings: dad!steve. singledad!steve. 90s!au. fem!reader. use of y/n. swearing. kissing. a lil bit of making out. allusions to sex. pet names. food mentions. r is mentioned as unlabeled (so you can assign the label according to your identity!!) r being an ally. fluff. comfort. love confessions!! [2.3k].

full 'when i kissed the teacher' masterlist.

“Babe?” Steve asks you, currently attending to the dishes piled in the sink from your beautiful handmade soup the two of you had for lunch. Alena was currently staying with Jonathan and Nancy, having a sleepover with her friend Ashley, which meant you had the place to yourselves.

“Uh huh?” you reply, not tearing your eyes away from the very intriguing book about the psychology of the human mind.

“You’re accepting, right?”

The question draws you away from the paperback, looking behind you to where Steve was scrubbing away at a green bowl, placing it neatly on the drying rack. “Yeah, I would say I am. Why?” The question seemed out of the blue, almost unordinary for him. It’s not like you had an issue with said question, it was just the timing that was confusing.

“Just… I really hope she doesn’t kill me for this,” Steve mumbles to himself, just loud enough for you to catch the tail end of, “You know Robin, she’s uh… She’s a lesbian, had a girlfriend for nine years. That’s okay with you… right?”

You smile, “Of course it’s okay. It’s more than okay. People can love whoever they want to love.” You were very passionate about this topic. You hadn’t particularly labeled your own sexuality, but you were striving for the ones that didn’t fit into the heteronormative society to have as many rights as you did. You frankly thought it was stupid that they didn’t already, and that as long as relationships are consensual and healthy, anybody of age should be allowed to love and potentially have sex with whoever they wanted.

Steve sighs out, chuckling lightly, “Oh thank God. I was so scared for a second.”

“Babe, if I didn’t support gay people, I shouldn’t even be deserving of your time. Besides… I’ve been to a few protests in my life,” you smirk, quickly looking back down at your book to leave Steve standing there in shock.

“You’ve been to protests?”

“Mhmm,” you hum, “College is a wild ride babe. You end up doing things you never thought you would ever do.”

“Huh… Anyway,” he shakes his running thoughts off, “I was asking because I was wondering if you’d like to go on a double date with them. You know, me and you, Robin and her girlfriend Vickie, that sort of thing?”

“Of course!” you happily agree, “When were you thinking?”

“Well, I’ll have to check with the girls, but since Alena isn’t back until tomorrow evening, I was thinking we could grab lunch somewhere tomorrow afternoon?”

“That sounds great babe! I’m totally down.”

He puts the final dish on the rack, walking up behind you and placing a tender kiss on the crown of your head, “Great, let me just give them a call, see if they’re down too.”

“There’s nothing good on this menu,” Robin whines, “You couldn’t have chosen a better restaurant, Steve?”

The four of you were squeezed into a booth of a small sandwich shop on the outskirts of Hawkins. Steve had his hand on your thigh as he scanned through the menu to the right of you, Robin and Vickie sat opposite.

Steve scoffs, “Just because you’re an extremely fussy eater, Robin. Everyone else here seems to be fine with the menu. The menu’s good, isn’t it, babe?” His question holds a slight waver of uncertainty, his best friend making his insecurities come out.

You take a quick look up at Robin over the top of your menu, smirking away as you pretend to cringe, “Well…”

Steve’s eyes open wide as he thinks he made the biggest mistake of his life, you having to quickly put a reassuring hand on your shoulder to calm him down, “I’m only kidding babe, it’s wonderful.”

“Well, according to someone it isn’t,” he narrows his eyes at Robin, her sticking her tongue out at him. You and Vickie give each other a look, as if you were both mothers parenting your immature children.

The waiter soon comes, Robin ordering a plain chicken sandwich, as suspected, Steve a ham and cheese toastie, Vickie a cheese and salad sandwich, and you deciding on a pulled pork sandwich.

“So,” you begin to start the conversation back up, “I’ve heard the two of you have been together for nine years. That’s incredible!”

Vickie holds Robin’s hand in hers on top of the table, the other leaning against her cheek, “Yeah. Almost at the nine year anniversary. You know, it took Robin two years to ask me out. She had a crush on me since the start of ‘86, took her until the Spring of ‘88 to make a move. We were both just blubbering messes up until that point. She finally asked me out, we had our first date, and then the rest is history I suppose.”

“So, just like me and Steve,” you giggle, Steve squeezing your thigh as he smiles down at you, Robin noticing how in love her best friend looks. “Always the whole mutual pining game, huh?”

“Apparently so. After the earthquake happened here a decade ago, we had to help out at the school for anyone affected,” Vickie explains, “Well, Robin and I got put on making PB&J’s, and I got so rambly and nervous in her presence that I buttered both pieces of bread with peanut butter.”

“Yeah, I was sorting clothes, watching the two of you be all cutesy and shit from across the room.”

Robin lets her mouth hang open, “You were watching that day?”

Steve nods with a grin on his face, “Uh, yeah? My best friend talking to her crush who she wouldn’t shut up about for months? And the two of you laughing and getting along? Of course I was watching.”

Vickie sighs happily, “I’m trying to think of some questions to ask the two of you, but I think we know every detail of your relationship.”

Robin raises her eyebrows with a smirk next to her girlfriend, “Oh yeah. Every goddamn time we saw him. ‘She called me handsome.’ ‘She’s just so pretty.’ ‘What am I supposed to do?’ Over and over again. It was constant reassurance, trying to encourage him to ask you out.”

“Just to let you know though,” Vickie points at you, “We did not encourage him to kiss you and therefore lose your job. We take absolutely no responsibility in that.”

You brush her off with a wave of your hand, “I mean, it didn’t end up so bad in the end. I mean, no insult to Hawkins or anything—”

“Babe,” Steve interrupts you, “We’ve all grown up here. You can insult this place however you like.”

“I don’t like to be rude though honey, you know that!” you laugh as Steve presses a kiss to your cheek, Robin and Vickie giving each other a knowing look, “Okay, fine. Just to preface, I loved the kids I taught, okay? Nothing wrong on their part. Just… some of the teachers were extremely mean in the staff room, some parents were just absolutely awful and the place itself was just… I dunno, something felt off.”

“Yeah, because it’s a piece of shit,” Robin truthfully states, Vickie jabbing her lightly in the ribs, Robin letting out an “Ow!”

You giggle, “Yeah, it kind of is, I guess. At least in comparison to Ernie Pyle. I suppose parents take their kids education a lot more seriously there. The student population is mostly made up of ethnic minorities from disadvantaged backgrounds, so the parents want to give their kids what they never had growing up. Plus, I think it’s around 90% of the teachers already have at least three years of prior teaching experience. It’s one of the reasons they took me on actually.”

“Well, I’m glad you got your happy ending. Perfect relationship and a perfect job,” Vickie points out, “Seems like a total win.”

“Yeah,” you look up at Steve lovingly, “It was.”

You had all enjoyed your meals, no matter how adventurous your selections were. Before you all got ready to leave, Steve excused himself to the bathroom, Robin sipping the final bits of her strawberry milkshake. “I’ve never seen dingus so in love before. I imagine you must get fed up with how much he says it.”

But, that’s the thing: he’d never said it. You weren’t gonna critique him on that, you were happy to take things as slow as possible, but there was that lingering thought in the back of your mind that maybe he wasn’t as in love as you were. And you didn’t want to scare him off by saying those three words if he didn’t feel that confident in the relationship yet.

“Actually, he hasn’t said it yet…” you let out.

“What?”

“Are you kidding?”

The two girls sit there in shock as you shrug it off. “No, you have to be lying,” Robin says, “Dingus has been in love with you since… well, forever!“

“Yeah, my love’s not kidding,” Vickie adds on, “I’m pretty sure he told us after you two did the Christmas Fayre together.”

“Probably even alluded to it before that.” Robin looks you in the eye, “You do love him, don’t you?”

You nod, “Of course I love him, Robin! I just don’t want to say it, and then he doesn’t feel the same—“

“Y/N, I’m telling you,” Vickie interrupts you, “He is 100% definitely in love with you. I know that for a fact. We both do.”

Robin nods, making you lean back in your chair and pinch the bridge of your nose, “Why won’t he say it then?”

“Y/N,” Robin starts, “The first girl Steve ever said ‘I love you’ to was Nancy Wheeler two weeks into their relationship, and they broke up a year later. The second was Alena’s mother who walked out when her daughter was a few months old, leaving Steve alone with a child to raise by himself. I think he’s just scared to say it in case you leave, since that’s all he knows.”

Vickie nods along, “But, if you say it first… I think that he might calm down a little. Realise that you are the one taking initiative.”

“Just say it…” Robin says softly, “What else have you got left to lose?”

But, you could have a lot to lose. What if he was just saying it to Robin and Vickie and doesn’t properly mean it? What if you tell him and he doesn’t reciprocate? You’d lose your whole relationship.

You have no time to think as Steve re-appears, reaching for his denim jacket the other side of you, “Right, we ready to go?”

Robin and Vickie smile at you, giving you a look as they begin to stand, collecting their belongings as the four of you head out the main entrance of the shop.

After bidding farewell to Robin and Vickie, Steve drove you back home, him having to clean the house for when Alena got home, and you having to prepare resources for your class tomorrow.

He pulls up to your apartment complex, leading you to the entrance as always, like the gentlemen he is.

You grab his hand, Steve noticing that it was slightly shaking wrapped around his, “Um… Steve? I just want to say something before you go.”

He simply stares back, you taking it as a sign to continue talking. You let out a breath. It was now or never.

“I understand that you’ve been wanting to take this entire thing slowly, and I get that. But, I just want to reassure you that I am in this for the long run. I love how you treat me, and care for me. I love the dates you take me on, they are so varied. I love how kind, and caring, and slightly stupid you can be sometimes. And I guess what I’m trying to say is that… I love you.”

You can audibly hear how his breath hitches in his throat, your brain instantly taking that as a mistake, “But, don’t feel as if you need to reciprocate or anything, because I don’t want to pressure you into doing that. I just needed to let it out—”

Your rambling is stopped by Steve’s lips crashing into yours. You can’t help but let the slight moan slip from your mouth as he deepens the kiss, your hands wrapped around his shoulders as he cups your cheeks. Before the kiss can escalate, Steve pulls apart from you, leaning his forehead against yours as he whispers back, “I love you too,” a goofy smile gracing his features. “Shit, I was just so scared to say anything in case it made you leave, as that’s what usually happens whenever I say those words—”

It’s now your time to interrupt him with a giggle, “I know baby, Robin kind of told me everything.”

He shakes his head, “God, I hate her. Always revealing secrets about me.”

“Damn,” you huff, “Maybe I should hang out with her more, get more juicy details about you.”

He leans back, raising his eyebrows at you, “Absolutely not. I’ve revealed way too much of my life to her.”

You both laugh, “You’re an idiot, Steve Harrington.”

“I love you too, Y/N L/N,” he replies, leaning in to kiss you once again. You melt into the kiss, Steve swiping his tongue across your lips, asking for permission to which you accept, opening your mouth and letting his tongue slip in, the lingering taste of his sandwich invading your senses. The two of you moan, you pulling back to catch your breath, realising the two of you were technically stood directly next to a busy road. “Amy’s out with her boyfriend today… So, I have the apartment to myself…”

Steve looks down at his watch, before turning his gaze back to you, smirking and seductively replying, “I think we have time.”

i hope you enjoyed!! i will get to the rest of your asks (and everybody else's) tomorrow and during the course of next week!! ♡

taglist: @livsters @bakugouswh0r3 @nix-rose @ihatepeanutss @cats00089 @suitelif3 @clincallyonline17 @crowssixof @starkeylover @eris-rose-86 @frostandflamesfanfic

[lost-inthemeadow]

Recharging - Daisy Johnson/f!reader (AOS one shot)

Summary: In which Daisy takes care of Y/N when she's tired after a mission.

Features Daisy Johnson and reader.

Word count: 1085.

Having finished preparing the two sandwiches, Daisy poured the boiling water from the kettle, which belonged to Simmons, into a cup. Inside, a green tea teabag waited for the liquid to release its flavor. She added two teaspoons of honey, just as Y/N liked, and grabbed everything, leaving the mess she had made in the kitchen for when she came back in a few minutes.

Y/N was an admirably lazy person. You could always find her napping in the most impossible places, which, if she was being honest, Daisy envied a little. She needed more sleep than most, so big missions, like the one they had just come back from, took a big toll on her.

Y/N's sleepiness had made Daisy's nights so much better. She now slept through the night most times, but even when she couldn't, having her girlfriend sleeping safe and soundly in her arms meant she had a good night anyway.

Back in their bunk, which was where Daisy was headed, Y/N slept despite it being five in the afternoon. She was having what Daisy had labeled a "recharge day", in which her girlfriend, sometimes planned, sometimes spontaneous, like this one, slept for a whole day—sometimes more—straight. During these, Daisy made sure Y/N stayed hydrated and fed.

Despite Y/N trying to deny she was tired, Daisy knew this was coming, so she had planned ahead. As she entered the hallway that led to the bunk, she left the noise of the base behind, having cleared the area of all non-essential personnel so her girlfriend could sleep in silence.

Making sure to be gentle with the door, Daisy went inside the room. Her steps were soft, and her pace was slow. Y/N was curled up, hugging Daisy's pillow, with her messy hair all over her face and her lips slightly apart. The image caused Daisy to smile as she walked up to the nightstand and placed the food on it. She then sat down on the bed, and without daring to blink to not miss it, she whispered:

"Hi, gorgeous".

She knew it wouldn't be enough to wake Y/N up, but that's not why she had done it. The reason was simple, really. Every time Daisy spoke while Y/N was asleep, her lips curved ever so slightly at the sound of her girlfriend's voice, and there was nothing that the brunette loved seeing more.

After giving herself a few seconds to enjoy the view, Daisy approached her girlfriend and removed a flock of hair from her face, putting it behind her ear, which interrupted her sleep. Y/N hated being woken up, but when her eyes opened and she saw Daisy, the only thing she could feel was love swarming her chest. Though she didn't acknowledge it, the smell of the sandwiches hit her as soon as her eyes opened, making her stomach growl with hunger.

"Daisy!" she said in a raspy voice, moving to ease the stiffness in her limbs.

Daisy's heart beat a little bit faster. She liked her name, but it never sounded as beautiful as when it came out of Y/N's lips.

"Hey! I brought you some food," she said softly.

"Food?" Y/N asked, confused, looking around until she found her phone under the pillow she was hugging. As she saw the time, her eyes opened widely. "Shit. I slept the whole day?"

Daisy couldn't help but giggle, as Y/N didn't remember the two times she had already awakened her to drink some water.

"Yes. I told you, you needed a recharge," she said with a grin, loving being right.

"I had a meeting with Coulson today. He's gonna have my head!" She covered her face with her hands for a second, then moved to get up.

Daisy stopped her, grabbing her by the arm. "Don't worry, I rescheduled the meeting for tomorrow".

Y/N's eyes lit up "You did?".

"Yes. He's not mad, though I'd definitely consider buying him a box of donuts if I were you". She pointed to the desk in front of the bed with her head, where a box of fresh donuts rested.

"Thank you," said Y/N as she smiled, but her eyes opened once more a second later, this time filled with fear. "I also had training with May."

"I sorted that out too."

"Mario Kart with Fitz?"

"I had to play with him to stop his rant, but yes." Her thumb started caressing the back of Y/N's hand. "Don't worry, I took care of everything."

See? I told you she had planned ahead.

Y/N looked at Daisy with a dumb smile on her face before pulling her by the arm to kiss her.

While they kissed, her brain finally assimilated the smell of the food. "Mmm," she muttered into Daisy's lips, "what smells so good?"

The brunette reached to grab the meal. She gave Y/N the plate but held onto the cup. "Nothing fancy. Just sandwiches and some tea."

Y/N examined the first sandwich before giving it a bite. The cheesy taste made her stomach growl even harder than before. "Oh god, I didn't know I was so hungry!" she said as she took a bigger bite, causing Daisy to giggle once again.

Daisy gave Y/N the cup, and she hugged it close to her chest, which she always did when she was drinking something hot.

Once Y/N finished eating, and having made sure her girlfriend was full and didn't need anything else, Daisy helped her inside the blankets again, tucked her in, and kissed her forehead. "Go back to sleep now," she whispered, but as she took the first step towards the door, Y/N's hand on hers stopped her from moving any further.

"Are you needed anywhere?" asked Y/N.

Daisy shook her head, knowing what Y/N would ask. She had taken care of that too. "My schedule's clear."

"Stay with me?" Y/N begged, but she didn't have to. As soon as she said the words, Daisy left the dirty dishes on the desk and got under the blankets with her.

"You don't have to ask twice," she replied as Y/N made herself comfortable on her chest.

As Y/N's arms wrapped around Daisy's waist and both of them sighed with pleasure, the brunette thought of the mess in the kitchen and how it'd have to stay like that for the next few hours.

[dreamlessimp]

— chores

summary: neither you, nor nagi enjoy the chores required for functioning. still, it’s better when you do them together.

warnings: nagi seishiro x gn reader, sfw, college au (undetailed), roommates au(?), reader doesn’t like doing chores, 0.7k wc

“if i make this, you have to take down the laundry.” nagi said sleepily. in his hands was a crumpled piece of paper, an overview of the coming semester given to him by his professor.

you saw the small trash can across the room to which he was aiming for. no way he made it while lying down.

“deal.” you said, crossing your fingers. “i’m praying for your downfall.”

unfortunately, you managed to forget that nagi was a well toned athlete.

he raised his arm and after a brief judgment of the distance, he threw the balled up information directly into its target.

he looked at you. “made it.”

you groaned. “i’ll take it later.” you scooted your chair back into your desk in an effort to round off your essay.

“if you’re not doing it now then play a game with me.” he said, meeting your gaze convincingly.

“and stop being productive altogether?” you laughed. “can’t do that.”

still, after a distasteful moment of looking at your nearly done essay, you decided you did have to be productive in at least one way.

you stood up to search the room, looking for any evidence of a stray item of clothing that had escaped the clearly labeled dirty laundry baskets.

your eyes landed on a wrinkled shirt stuffed into a corner. once identifying that it was nagi’s, you quietly walked to his room and lightly threw it onto him.

“huh?” he choked out from under the light shirt, which had landed on his face. he gestured to his phone once he moved the shirt. “hey. i almost died.”

“in real life or the game?” you asked jokingly from another room.

“the game.” he huffed loud enough for you to hear.

sitting up, he saw you wandering around the main room of the dorm past the open door. after a shrug he shut off and pocketed his phone, then made his way to where you were preparing for two trips down to the washing machines.

“i’ll help.” he said, picking up his own laundry basket.

“the bare minimum.” you laughed, aiming a thankful nod to him ensuring he knew you were happily accepting. “even if you did win.”

“which i did.” he said before opening the dorm’s door and allowing you into the main area.

the two of you trudged down the multiple flights of stairs, until you made it to the darkened laundry room. you flicked on the lights with the back of your hand and quickly made the transfer from the laundry baskets to the washing machines. 

nagi turned them on and after you checked to make sure they were actually on, the two of you began walking back.

then, you had a thought.

“if i beat you, you have to do the dishes.” you said with a smile as you approached the stairs.

“in what?” nagi asked. a second later though, he realized with a start that he’d made a mistake. 

“race you.” you announced with a smirk. with that, you began running up the stairs, leaving nagi at the bottom to grapple both of the laundry baskets you’d left behind.

nagi was fast, but with the 2 baskets and your head start, he lost. 

once he met you at the top, his face remained blank as the dropped the laundry baskets to the floor where they landed still standing.

you picked both up, and carried them into your unlocked dorm.

“the dishes need washing.” you teased, sitting on the couch.

“sounds like a pain. i don’t get why we can’t just have a normal dishwasher. doing dishes with your hands is such a bother.” nagi complained, not at all planing to complete the task at hand.

“dorm.” you responded, flatly. you yourself, hated doing the dishes.

nagi remained standing still. it’d be too much of a hassle for him to simply do the dishes, so when he saw you simply sitting on the couch, he took an alternative route.

he walked up to the couch and sat down next to you. it tinted his face red, but he continued steadily scooting himself closer to you.

by the time you noticed him, the upper half of his body was already fully leaning against you. 

“do i have to do the dishes?” he said, voice muffled by his face buried into your head.

the warmth of his body pressed against yours brought even more warmth into your face. “later.” you said with a smile, as you allowed yourself to relax into him.

[ultzwoozi]

“One Step Closer”

currently playing: you broke me first by tate mcrae

pairings: doyoung x reader (but this chapter is mainly/only haechan x reader!) genre: angst/fluff (this chapter is angsty) warning(s): haechan being an ass, using someone as a rebound, haechan gaslighting and gatekeeping but not girlbossing. word count: 2.7k authors note: hii this is my first series! its gonna be small but i hope you guys like it! its gonna be doyoung x reader BUT we gotta look at the past to understand the present! i hope you like the rest :)

summary: the last one hurt you bad, so you swore off dating. what happens when you meet someone who had the same story?

“Tomorrows your big day. How do you feel?” Sitting on your couch with your best friend, drinking and eating whatever snacks were in your cabinet, You sat and took it all in. “It feels unreal woo, like i'm graduating. That's wild. Kinda sad my parents couldn’t make it but at least you and Hyuk will be there.” Wooyoung sighed and turned to face you completely. “I still don’t get why you’re dating him. He barely passed college. He uses everyone hes around, y/n. He didn’t have the best reputation in college or highschool. I also heard that he and his ex didn’t end too well..”

You playfully punch wooyoung and shake your head. “Hey, he's nice. And so far nothing has been wrong. He cares, he’s gonna get a better job after i graduate so the two of us can live comfortably. He promised. He’s been nothing but sweet to me. Maybe he changed. I think I actually love him.. He's so much better than the others, woo. Can you trust me?” Wooyoung shrugged and nodded, he went along with what you said, Hoping it's for the best. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom, I'll be back.”

Once Wooyoung was up and out of the way, you pulled out your phone and called the contact labeled “Hyuk 💕” it took a couple rings but he eventually picked up.

“Hey sorry to bother, I hope you're not busy but you’re still coming to my graduation tomorrow, right?” there was silence on the other end for a little while before he spoke up “Yeah of course, i wouldn’t miss it for the world. What time is it?” Wooyoung peeked his head out of the bathroom and figured he’d stay in there for a bit longer so you could talk to your boyfriend.

“Y/n! Oh my god you did it– I'm so proud of you!” That's all you heard all day from everyone. Graduating from medical school is a big achievement. Hearing people be so proud of you at your graduation was something you always wanted to hear. Wooyoung wrapped you in a big hug. “Y/n, I've never been prouder.”

“Thanks woo. Have you seen Hyuck?” Wooyoung gave the biggest face of disgust at you when you asked where your current boyfriend was. He released you from his embrace and pointed to the relatively tall man. He was staring off at the other graduates. He graduated last year, you started dating about 9 months ago. You wondered what he was staring at, but you didn't put much thought into it.

“I’m going to go to him, coming with?” You turn to wooyoung, he shakes his head and points to his best friend, San, who's also graduating this year. “No it's okay, I’m gonna go hang out with San. Let me know if you’re leaving with Donghyuck or me to the restaurant, okay?” You gave Wooyoung a nod and proceeded towards your boyfriend.

He didn’t seem to notice your presence at all until you hugged him from behind, holding the flowers Wooyoung gave you earlier. “Hi! What are you staring at?” Startled, your boyfriend turns to look at you poking out under his arm. “Hm, hi babe. Congratulations!” He hands you a bouquet of flowers similar to Wooyoungs, but instead it's filled with different flowers that aren’t your favorite. Arranged in a certain order, as if it was meant for someone else. Nonetheless, it was a gift from your boyfriend and you gladly accepted it.

“Thanks hyuk. Who were you staring at earlier?” You asked, his face seemed to get sadder before he answered. “No one important, just someone I used to be close to.” You open your mouth to say something when you get cut off by someone calling your name. “Y/n!” you look over and see a man with hair cut nicely, dressed in a button up and black slacks. Next to him was a man around the same height with a pointer nose, dressed similarly. “Jen! I didn’t think you’d make it.” You back away from Donghyuk and hug your cousin, Jeno.

“I wouldn’t miss something like this. Never. I hope you don’t mind, I brought a friend. This is Seokmin, Seokmin, this is my cousin, Y/n.” Seokmin smiled, his smile was bright and warm. He shook your hand and congratulated you. You smiled back and accepted his congrats.

You turn back to your boyfriend, and yet again you see him staring. But this time, you make out who he's staring at. Your friend, Yoonah. Did they know each other? “Yoonah!” You call out to her, she's quick to notice you. It doesn’t take too long for her to notice Donghyuk behind Jeno and Seokmin. The moment she begins to walk closer, Donghyuk excuses himself. He gave you a kiss on your forehead and told you he was going to go collect the others so they could all head out to eat. He left without looking back at Yoonah and went to find the people who came to support you. Jeno and Seokmin followed him.

“Donghyuk? He’s a nice guy.” Yoonah speaks up once he’s out of the way. She’s holding a small card in her hand. “Oh yeah, we’ve been dating for a couple months. He’s nice, do you know him?” Yoonah goes to answer but instead decides to shake her head. “My friends were friends with him, but they had a falling out.” “Ah– I see.” you come to the conclusion that the two were a part of the same friend group.

Yoonah looks down at your hands and notices Donghyuk’s bouquet of flowers. “I didn't know you liked hydrangeas too! They’re my favorite flowers, they're very peaceful. Theyre in the perfect arrangement, you know? the pinks match perfectly with the oranges and yellows.” You nod in agreement, but those aren’t your favorite flower, nor your favorite colors. Wooyoung walks up to you and tells you everyone's waiting. You say your farewells to Yoonah and leave with Donghyuk to the restaurant, Wooyoung and the others following behind.

Dinner went well, everyone had fun. You held hands with Donghyuk under the table. You notice him using his phone more than normal. You’d ask him about it later and just enjoy the presence of everyone for the rest of the day. In the end, You went home with Donghyuk. Wooyoung went back to your shared apartment. When you got home, the two of you immediately crashed in each other's arms. You both were very tired from the day.

It didn’t take long for you to be woken up by the many messages Donghyuk kept getting on his phone. Eventually you decided to grab the phone and look to see what was happening and for what reasons. You didn’t think you’d see him talking about Yoonah to his friends. Nor did you think you’d see that she was his ex. Nor that he had given her that card at graduation. Nor that he had been using you as a rebound this entire time to get over her. Which he hadn’t, he’s still in love with her.

You felt your world crumble. Like nothing more was left. The man sleeping next to you, had been leading you on and using you for a sense of closure. The man who promised to get a better job and live with you, and promised you a life you always wanted, lied. He lied to make things better for himself. At the same time, you can’t help but feel stupid. You believed it, your past relationships were the same way. You were too naive.

You knew there wasn't much you could do now. You can’t control his feelings. The best option was to take evidence of the conversation and leave. So that's exactly what you did. You screenshotted the messages and sent them to yourself. You checked around for more evidence of anything else. You found that he was texting Yoonah some days, saying he missed her. How you were not her.

You didn’t bother to wake him up. You grabbed your stuff and snuck out. It was around 1 am. You just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. You called Jeno to come get you, knowing he’d be awake. “Come on please pick up..” Your cheeks were stained with tears. The moment your heard Jeno’s quiet hello on the other line, the tears came back. “Can you come get me? I’m at Donghyuks apartment, I need to get out of here, please..'' There was silence but the sound of movement being heard on the other line. “Stay on the phone with me, I’ll be right there.”

You went back home to your apartment, Jeno stayed with you. Wooyoung heard the door open and went to the front, not expecting to see you. Once you saw your best friend, You completely broke in his arms. Babbling about what happened and what you saw. “It's not fair, why am I always the second choice? The rebound.” You cried in his arms. Wooyoung just kept telling you to let it out. Jeno stepped out to go get some snacks at the local convenience store, knowing it was going to be a long night.

“I loved him, woo. I thought he loved me too..” all the tears you were holding back with Jeno just all came out. You broke down completely. You never loved anyone as much as you loved Donghyuk. But he played you, and it hurt harder than ever. Wooyoung became silent as he held you.

When Jeno stepped back into the apartment, you were sitting with Wooyoung on the couch. Telling what you saw. “Are you sure?” Jeno came to you with your favorite snack, you took it out of his hands and pulled out your phone. A conversation between Donghyuk and his best friend, Seungkwan, displayed on the screen. “Yes, I’m sure. Even the flowers he bought me were connected to her.” “Did you confront him?” Wooyoung was silent the entire time, he just kept reading the messages. “No, I called you right away. I needed to just get out of there. I just don’t know what I'm gonna do, jen.” Wooyoung stopped reading and looked up at you and Jeno. “Break up with him, I told you from the start he was bad news.”

You hated to admit it, but Wooyoung was right. When you first met, he did give you off vibes but you thought that was just his demeanor. You sat in silence as Wooyoung got up and walked to your rooms to grab blankets. It was silent for a while until someone's phone started ringing. It was Jenos. He picked it up, it was Seokmin. “Doyoung caught what?” Jeno sighed. He turned to you with a sorrowful face. You could tell something happened. “Y/n I'm so sorry but my friend just got cheated–” “No no, that's far worse than mine. Please go comfort him, I have woo. I’ll be okay.” You stood up and hugged Jeno. The strong embrace of your cousin soothed your mind a bit. He grabbed his keys and took his leave.

“I think you should rest for the night. We’ll deal with Donghyuk tomorrow. Together. Okay? Power off your phone, I’ll put on a show or something and we’ll keep your mind off this.” Wooyoung kissed your head and walked over to the kitchen to grab something to drink. You sat on the couch. You stared at your phone, the background being you and Donghyuk smiling and giggling under the cherry blossom trees when they bloomed last spring. You shut your phone off.

When you woke up, Wooyoung was already gone for work. He works at a daycare nearby. Wooyoung was always so good with kids. He was destined to work with kids. It was 9:56 am. You took a deep breath and powered your phone back on. Immediately, You were hit with multiple messages.

Hyuk 💕: Hey babe you left without telling me

Hyuk 💕: where did you go?

Hyuk 💕: are you coming back?

Hyuk 💕: why did you leave?

Woo 🦊💛 : HEYY i left for work but when i come back we’re getting drinks. SO GET DRESSED.

Jen 🐶💙 : I’m so sorry i had to leave last night, i’ll come by later tonight to check on you

Jen 🐶💙 : Don’t worry, i didnt tell your mom :)

Jen 🐶💙 : things will get better, trust

The best option was to answer the most important one first. Donghyuk. You took a deep breath and swallowed back any tears that wanted to leave. It took you a while but you finally thought of something to say.

You : Please don’t contact me again. I know you were only using me as a rebound. You don’t have to keep pretending. You were only using me to get closure from Yoonah. I wish you would've just told me you didn't want anything serious with me beforehand.

Hyuk 💕: I’m coming over, I think it's better we talk about this in person.

You : No, I made up my mind. I think it's better for us to split.

With that you blocked his number. You had the rest of the day by yourself until wooyoung came back home around 6. You figured you could do something productive and go grocery shopping to take your mind off everything. You hopped in the shower and dressed in something comfortable, grabbing your keys and stepping out the house. Trying to calm your mind.

You left the house around 11, you spent the day out. Trying to be productive, there's no need to be hung over on a guy who obviously didn't have the same feelings. You bought things for the house, things for yourself, anything you could afford and felt like buying. When you finally got up and decided its time to go home, it was around 4:30. When you got back home, you saw a shadow standing outside your door. Banging on the door, You heard them call your name. “Y/n, come on, open the door.”

You approached the door and the man. It was Donghyuk. You had no words to say to him. You open the door and let him in. “What do you want, Donghyuk? We’re over, I told you that.” “I want to explain myself, it's not what it seems i promise.” You took a deep breath and decided to hear him out. “You have 10 minutes, I have to get ready for the night.”

“Get ready? For what? Are you seriously going out immediately after breaking up with me?” Donghyuk gave you this look of disgust, similar to the one Wooyoung gave you when you asked where he was at your graduation. “Does it matter? We aren’t together anymor–” “We’re not together anymore because you wanted this to be over. That's why you can’t keep a man because you don’t listen and hear them out.”

You stared at the man who just yesterday felt like the most lovable person. Now today he feels like a stranger. “Are you serious?” you stared at him dumbfounded. Things started to get more heated. “No shit im serious, without even hearing my end you're leaving me and going to– god knows where– tonight to find someone new.”

“Let's get one thing straight, I LOVED you. I told you that. I’ve never told anyone that. And repeatedly you told your friends that I am not Yoonah. That Yoonah was better.” The tears you were once choking back yesterday started to run down your cheeks. “And now you're trying to say it's my fault? Are you serious?”

“That's because it is. You weren’t her, and I was reminded every day about it. Maybe if you tried harder. That's why people cheat on you y/n, that's why people leave you.”

you bit your tongue and kept listening to him go off about how it was your fault. It was all your fault. it got to the point you started to question it yourself, was it your fault?

“You know what, I'm so glad we’re over. Maybe now you’ll realize why you can’t keep a man. I only kept you for so long because I needed someone to replace h–" "I think it's time you go.” Jeno stood in the doorway, staring daggers into Donghyuk.

“Yeah, okay.” Donghyuk stared at you one last time, almost proud of himself for making you cry. He shrugged past Jeno and took his leave. As soon as the door closed, you broke down. Jeno wrapped his arms around you and held you close to him.

You swore off dating since then, that was 2 years ago.

[ghcstao3]

this came to me in a dream but i saw a artist!soap/civilian!ghost post-breakup au sometime last month and it hasn’t left my head because think of the Angst!! like. imagine ghost still having paint stains on his otherwise spotless hardwood floors from where soap used to station his easel. or soap locking away his sketchbook dedicated to just ghost’s face because of his strict no photos rule. actually foaming at the mouth thinking of soap’s journal allll the time

this was good practice because Man i do not write angst often. but in any case! i adored this prompt

-

Simon had been naive to think that there wouldn’t be remnants of Johnny left behind in his home after they’d broken up.

He thinks, looking back, that maybe it had only been some sort of pathetic hope to make it less painful, that he could return home and not have to remember in any part everything Johnny that had invaded over the years. That had infected and melded with Simon until each of their lives had become unrecognizable from the other.

Of course, Simon isn't so lucky. Because in no world is Johnny so easily forgettable, especially not after years of intimacy, or vulnerability. Not after years of real, horribly profound love.

The breakup had been deemed mutual, but it hardly feels that way most days. For the best feels like a complete lie, in retrospect.

Simon forces himself to move on, though. He can’t dwell on emptied spaces and a silence far too loud. He can’t cling to memories of domesticity and the belief that it’d last forever. Simon doesn’t get to have those things. He's not sure why he ever thought that Johnny would be the exception to everything before.

It still hurts seeing the permanent marks left behind in his home, however.

He tries his best to stop thinking about Johnny, and he succeeds for the most part—until he does stupid things like wanting to rearrange the furniture in what had been Johnny’s spaces, and discovers with a bitter fondness splotches of long-since dried paint neither of them had ever thought to clean because there would be more in the future. Because there was meant to be more in the future.

And as he sits on the floor for the first time in months truly missing Johnny, contemplating whether it’d be worth mustering the courage to scrub the floor of these remains, Simon wonders if Johnny has been managing any better than he has.

Probably, Simon thinks miserably. He’s always been the better man.

- - - - -

Immediately after their breakup, Johnny keeps himself together better than anyone thought he’d be able to.

Because they all thought he and Simon were madly in love. And they were, for a while. But things always change, though, don’t they?

As time passes, however, and Johnny settles into a life without Simon for the first time in a very long time, moving on grows increasingly difficult. He’s a mess, quite honestly, as put together as he appears to everyone else.

It’s with anger that he believes Simon is doing better, after everything. Because he’d never been as weak as Johnny. Because he wouldn’t have to think twice about throwing out what isn’t his, unlike Johnny—who cannot stand the thought of looking at old sketches of Simon, but is just as reluctant to burn those final bridges and toss out every journal reminiscent of a life he’ll never live again. Who wants to rip those pieces to shreds but continue to treasure them all the same.

He finds a box. An unmarked, nondescript cardboard box. He packs away every journal he'd dedicated to Simon, tapes the box shut, and hides it in his attic among boxes almost exactly alike. He never labels it, not wanting to offer any more power to those journals—but Johnny can never fully bring himself to forget.

Its presence still gets shoved to the very back corners of his mind. Then finally, finally he can breathe. Finally he can leave those final pieces of what he had with Simon behind.

Johnny is foolish to think that, though. Because he had forgotten just how much of his life, his art had been occupied by Simon. Johnny still sees Simon in so much of what he's created, what he continues to create.

And when he stumbles across one of the first sketches he'd drawn of Simon, in a notebook not separate for the man like all the others, Johnny has to sit and wonder just where they had went wrong.

[allycat75]

Some dos and (mostly) don'ts for the upcoming Comic Con, Boston Dumb Fuck.

So I don't know if your handlers have had a chance to program you for the event yet or if they are waiting for a software update, but here are some tips for your trip to Seattle.

When you smile, try to have it reach a little up your face. You could scare the children with your hollow, soulless eyes. You may have become an automaton, but these people paid good money so try to look and act like a human male. And stay off the weed- makes any chance of a sparkle disappear.

When speaking, try to avoid the "ok" sign, or even the Italian thing you do sometimes with the fingers together (🤌)*. It's too close to the sign the smug wifey likes to flash with her close Nazi buddies. You are already tied to her and carry around a certain amount of shame for that, don't need to make it worse by appearing like you are a true believer now.

Don't mention your inconsequential political site. These folks just want a picture with the dude who once played Captain America. They don't care about you and your vain extra curriculars.

At the same time, don't play too much into the Captain America role. You signed on for this fake marriage with the antisemetic, racist wifey to reset your image (I guess?) and you cannot claim any similarity or want for similarity or admiration for the character, when you embody everything he would be ashamed of.

Don't try to get your feminist street cred back by wishing people a good Women's History Month. That ship has sailed for you.

As much as I hate seeing that liars ring, keep your left hand out of your pocket. You look like you are diddling yourself and people don't need more reasons to try to label you as a p**vert. We all know you are an "alone guy" and maybe that is what you do back at the hotel, although with its dubious metal composition, I don't recommend getting that piece of jewelry too close to your junk. It could cause sterility...On second thought, whack away, rub, rub, rub with good old lefty. Do society a favor. You are enough of a child for you to raise.

Of course you could forgo the ring altogether (in unison "You could forgo the ring". Sorry, I had to do that. My dad trained me too well watching "Airplane"). Have the OFFICIAL break up announcement come out before the con. Garner some sympathy. Begin to remove all reference of her. But don't forget that this does little to clear your karmic debt or repair the pathetic shreds of your life. You have a long road to travel, if you chose to do better. Leaving this debacle is only the first step. No matter the narrative being told, the only thing for certain is that you are a major liar who has selfishly hid behind his privlege to get what he wants, no matter the collateral damage.

If you are in real trouble and are in need of serious help, send us the message by wearing your California cap and we'll come running. Maybe. You've been a real shit and may not derserve it. We'll have to assemble a coterie of mods to discuss your fate, like in a Wes Anderson movie. Any mods interested?

If, on the other hand, you are ok but would like to acknowledge you have been a manipulative, selfish sack of White Privleged shit who needs to actively work to become a trustworthy, authentic person and make amends, wear the NASA cap.

Well, that's all I can think of for now. Enjoy the coffee up there in the Emerald City, if you are into coffee that week, you Mercurial mother fucker! 👋

*PS- I would like to clarify that I am in no way equating one gesture with another. My intent was that, in this case, there is a likely possibility the Italian gesture could be taken out of context and skewed to look like the beginning of a WP sign because of BDF's association with the little Nazi twit. Photshop has been used before, why would it not be used for this nefarious purpose? Even these simple and inert gestures can become weapons in the wrong hands.

But I should have been more careful and I sincerely apologize to anyone I offended. I tell BDF to do better, but unlike him, I am not a hypocrite so I will follow my own advice. Thank you to those who politely called me out and I hope this helps.

[odysseywritings]

What Would a Point and Click Adventurer Do?

@flashfictionfridayofficial

(tw cult, dark comedy)

The mysterious island, with its beautiful sparkling ocean and pink sky, held the next important item for Sierra Lucas. Shiny jewelry, strange tools, a taxidermied head, and so much more filled her endless inventory. But a missing slot was reserved for the elusive pink rat, held captive in a luxurious building with an eight pronged sigil and a capital S in-between two overlapping squares.

Sierra rapidly walked to the front, aimed her lips at the golden complex, and said "Golly, these guys aren't short on donations."

Her eyes bugged out and saw the building's security. Sierra needed to be stealthy and clever to distract the armed guards. She sifted through her inventory, saved her progress in a diary titled 'Bomb,' and hoped for the best. She was ready to chuck the bomb until the sizzle alerted the guards and she turned into Swiss cheese.

Thankfully she loaded back to before that horrible event, and went for another item, this time throwing a gem in front of the guards. The two bickered about who saw it first, became impetuously angry, and riddled the other with bullets. She quickly sauntered by and entered the building.

The interior was immaculate and large, yet the the doorways stretched out to cartoonish degrees and she felt she could see the other rooms and a staircase from how compact everything looked. The members were deathly nervous and smiled with gruesomely gummy grins while their eyes shifted like a compass. Any information from them about the pink rat was irrelevant.

"A pink rat? Why, that's the silliest thing I ever heard! Next you'll say it's behind that door there! Oh, and if you see our leader, would you tell him how good I was at lying?"

Sierra continued to browse the gawdy, Escher-esque pastel nightmare house until she saw a door labeled "Get out!" It seemed to be enough for an obedient population.

Sierra opened it and found the cult leader trying to seduce a younger follower. She didn't want to create a scene, so she pulled out her inventory again, and tried finding the subtlest way to dispatch him.

She jabbed 8 poisoned needles into him and he convulsed on the floor. Sierra smiled like a gleeful child.

"You know what they say, it's the dose that kills you, so I brought every dose just in case. Just like Dad taught me!"

Grateful for the rescue, the follower helped Sierra find the pink rat, sad and bored in its little cage as it played a tiny harmonica. Sierra briskly acquired the rat and headed off and wore the leader's clothes.

"My people, you are under new management! Leave now or I will smite and sic my lawyers on thee!"

Most fled but the higher ups chased her and wanted to silence her for seeing too much. The fake religion wouldn't stop until she was dead, and she knew they'd target her to the ends of the earth. She managed to get outside and block the door with the dead guards, but the cult heads kept banging to get out. With little to lose, she poked and prodded the rat for help.

The pink rat squeaked and raised its skinny forelegs out as if to pray. The door was sealed shut with divine rodent energy with a large rat stamp of approval. Sierra sighed in relief and kissed the rat for its help. She could continue her adventure without those duplicitous charlatans hounding her.

Yet her curiosity got the better of her and went through different saves and loads to see what would happen. She decided to throw ordinary table salt on the building and it exploded into a smoking pile of rubble.

"I had a feeling that would work! And no one important died!"

[weaselle]

gods, i feel a glimmer of understanding, like i can almost see a universal truth beyond the ken of mortal mind

its about good and evil, and how hatred works

Like pain, error, anger, and adversity, hatred is a normal healthy thing to experience.

But also like many of those those things, an obsession with being Good and Pure and Happy all the time in this culture makes feeling those things Wrong

So we have unexpressed, unprocessed hatred in us, that our social group tells us is Wrong and Shameful. But then! our social group tells us it IS okay to hate this, specifically.

Now sometimes there are good reasons to hate something. Just like it serves a purpose in an individual, it has it's place in societal dynamics. We started hating on Karens to correct the social behavior of, like, calling the cops on children for selling lemonade or yelling at a person for doing their job or whatever. Pretty unfortunate for the many nice people named Karen, but there was a reason for the public jumping on that bandwagon, there was a social correction at play, and it needed a catchy label.

Now. In a large group that doesn't encourage healthy processing of hatred, there will always be a bunch of people feeling hate

But there isn't always an appropriate or understood target for group hate. But there IS always an easy target. So sometimes the target is a random celebrity who had one (1) bad take, or a once-popular fashion trend, or a food combination, or like, black people.

Because while it is true that hate itself is a natural and normal thing to feel, it is just like how you need salt to live but having a high salt diet will kill you slowly and eating a few spoonfuls at once will kill you quick. Injudicious hatred is poison.

So, sometimes our group (whatever we consider that group to be) tells us to hate this, or that, and it gives us permission to do the thing that was previously Wrong, and it's a relief. It feels good.

And if we have a lot of hate in us (there are many understandable reasons this could be) or if there just isn't a lot of feeling good in our life, then we start to seek out that feeling good, that relief. We start looking for things to hate. Building up that hatred on purpose in some unconscious way. For the relief of expressing it at a socially acceptable target. Because in your experience of this scary difficult life, you feel so much like screaming and throwing things and using your strongest language, but your group says it's only okay to do that at sports and this short list of targets.

And the list changes. It changes slowly over hundreds of years, and it changes quickly, in the age of the internet it can sometimes be daily.

And when that mob of hatred moves to its next target, it leaves some people behind, who get hooked on hating that thing specifically, and who even subconsciously teach their children to process their own hatred by hating that thing.

and that's how hatred spreads and grows

and the only way to only process group hatred in a healthy, issue correcting way is to have a group of people who process their personal hatred in a healthy way, so they don't have all this unprocessed hatred sloshing around in the basements of their souls.

Who say, okay, i feel hate toward that, and that is okay. I am allowed to feel and express hatred (not always to the target tho, maybe you paint about it or something). but also, why am i feeling hatred? Is this a real thing to hate, or is this a me issue? does hating this serve a purpose, and if so, can that purpose be served better some other way? How can i resolve this so that i acknowledge my feeling and address it enough to let it go, so i do not feel this negative stressful thing anymore? Can i do it through a reasonable respectful communication? Through an attempt to change the dynamic or via an action addressing the root cause? or is this something i can resolve inside myself, write a letter i never send, climb a hill and wordlessly scream it out, something i handle in just me

anyway, thoughts on hatred, and how trying too hard to never have negativity is itself pretty harmful on both an individual and a societal level

[dearweirdme]

BigHit and BTS are not ypur typical K-Pop label/group and they never were. From the first day they debuted and their (or rather Bang PD’s) strategy was to showcase the members as their real selves (minus the assigned stage personas), as in they filmed a lot of logs on YouTube just talking to the fans about their real thoughts and such. Bang PD encouraged them to write their own feelings into their music, and their music has been defiant to the norm since day 1.

BTS have been shunned by the industry to the point they had to make their own reality shows to better express themselves without prejudice, while continuing to film every step of their journey and keep track of almost their every waking moment to show the fans what kind of people and artists they are.

BTS risked getting blacklisted by their government twice because of songs like Am I Wrong? and Spring Day, mind you these were released when BTS were still a 3-4 year old group that was barely starting to get recognized by the industry.

In Jikook's case, they have been close since day 1. They slept in Jimin's bed, they stayed behind to practice more then sleep in the lobby together as to not wake the members, they were 'all-nighter buddies', they kept getting closer each year to the point they grew inseparable and you'd see them always together in b-t-s content like in memories. They got paired together during shoots because of their insane chemistry. And it reached a point where in 2019 after the Rose Bowl ear incident, Tkkrs mass emailed the company and spammed Twitter with hashtags asking them to "stop the gay fan service" but BigHit didn't give a damn and continued showcasing them as a close duo because that's what the reality is.

Only in 2020, BTS worldwide popularity doubled because of Dynamite and a new wave of fans started getting to know BTS and with that Taekook grew even more popular individually and as a ship (as did every member and duo but Taekook grew bigger because they're the youngest, and have arguably more Euro-centric fitting visuals) and BigHit started caring more about the international audience as opposed to the Korean audience how it used to be (notice how K-armys have been complacent in streaming for the past 3-4 years because most of them are mad BTS are giving western ARMYs more content and performances and English songs). So BigHit started banking on Taekook and started pairing them in ads, shoots, highlighting them in choreographies, songs, and in memories. But Jikook remain undefeated quantity and quality wise, why? Because they simply spend more time together that can be kept in content. That is probably why you saw that Taekook ITS talk and why Taekook content stopped getting edited out as much after that. They're still a meh duo in terms of chemistry to be honest with you, and that's probably why they'll never be used as much as Jikook for fun content. Like imagine being one of the editors and you have to edit every DVD down to like 40 minutes or something and you have to choose between clips of Taekook just sitting there or Jikook being fun and playful? I think it's an obvious choice. But I can still see that they're making more effort into keeping as much as Taekook content in possible to appease to their audience. I don't envy yall honestly. And before you tell me that I ship Jikook based on company content that the company chooses to leave in, I don't. I'm not a Jikook shipper I just enjoy their bond and I can see their chemistry and from a business perspective I understand why BigHit chooses to leave in their moments (even the most controversial ones) because it's fun and entertaining and it causes discussions. And it doesn't really matter who thinks that their chemistry is legit and who thinks that they just play it up for cameras, Jikook have great, great chemistry and it far surpasses anything I've seen of Taekook. And I've seen a lot of them two in the past 3-4 years.

Hi anon!

Well I agree that BTS is different. They are honest and open as much as they can be, but that does not extend to their relationships.. at all. I think there’s a huge amount of space between being different and totally ignoring cultural and societal standards.

But you do see that what we see is a choice. And I agree, that Tae and Jk’s interactions are probably less entertaining to watch than that of Jkk. Jkk are loud and boisterous and full of energy. While Tae and Jk are often more relaxing and a bit more on the background. That is an actual choice the company made.. and one I think would have been made even without shipping and possible relationships. You are quite wrong about when they started to include Taekook footage again, since the amount of Taekook footage in their earlier years was evident, followed by a real decrease when things looked to be getting more serious, and starting up again when things settles down. Jk prefaced the the uptick in Tkk footage in ITS. That’s because it was indeed a decision made, and not because the suddenly talked things through. (don’t even get me started on your mention of their more Eurocentric features, because they are very clearly asian, and your reasoning here would actually fit my ideas more than yours. Because apparently the company does mingle in what they show.. it’s just not a case when it comes to their relationships?)

As I said.. the difference is whether you think Bh would show or hide an actual queer in band relationship. Look at another ask I received just now (hi other anon!)

I know what I find more likely.

[cometrose]

let me try to get all of my hunger game feelings down as quickly as possible

first of all, what a series it was so much better than i remember and i don't like 10 year olds should've been allowed to read this but i think for the most part all of the traumatic shit went over their heads

peeta my son, he has been reduced to a soft spoken bread boy over the years and i did not remember or realize how charming he was in the book gosh he is my babygirl and so sweet

in the first book he was an absolute treasure like the way he flirts with katniss the way he moves a crowd im in awe like i fucking love the interview scene in the first book and the movies do it such a disservice because his crush confession is so shocking that everybody kind of gasps like he has stolen this crowd at the show (im kind of sad cause caesar and peeta duo was so iconic naturally stars)

god katniss my dear i don't know where to start with her

i had no idea she was such a shitty narrator like if i didn't already know the entire plot i might have believed her crazy ass. Especially in the first book the girl is insane. peeta is living his terrible life with a crush while katniss is having a one sided enemies to lovers moment all in her fucking head. It is not until the train home that its like oh he was serious ofc you fucking walnut.

katniss is the star but everyone with eyes knows that if you take peeta away from her she'll breakdown and thats the cruelest part. I think if I was Snow i would've left katpee alone idk why put the spark back in the spotlight ya know?

the second book peeta was another beam of light god the baby line is so iconic and he deserved it malewife manslaughter manipulate he has done it all and did it flawlessly

and he’s still so sweet like trying to get katniss to leave him or backing off when he thinks she's with gale he always so respectful of her space

the fucking locket and pearl are very special to me like he knows and SHE KNOWS there is nothing left for him in 12 but she doesn't listen

there is so much warmth in him from painting rue's portrait for the gamemakers or offering gifts to district 11 like he didnt know thresh and rue but he knew how much it meant to katniss and how awful it was for them to die. Even him talking the morphling as they died just gently describing his paintings and rainbows was so precious

And I think about katniss and peeta were labeled as rebels for simply showing acts of kindness I like how he gets mad and that gentleness disappears but there is always a reason behind it, and him taking care of haymitch is just the sweetest he has attitude but so much warmth

then in MJ goodness its a lot first the torture and then risking it all to warn the rebels and then later like yes he tried to kill katniss but she overlooked it and so will i and hes so mean and cruel when he's out of his mind but can you blame him its not like he's lying??

the moments where that gentleness comes out again are so precious to me when he bakes annie and finnick's wedding cake when he talks sweet to delly its the little moments and how like every single book before he still wants katniss to live and he's crying and begging for death and digging his arms into his wrists to hold himself together

in the end he still wont let katniss die and the first thing he fucking does after getting out of wherever the fuck they stored him was to plant primroses in front of her house and i love him so much

he's really smart its just that no one tells him the fucking plan ever even though they all agree he's a great fucking actor

He knows he hold katniss back and he wants her to let him go but she wont and he wont let her go either and he gives her space to sort out her feelings like yes he loves her he always has and he has never tried to push her and he's just a kind person and i really really really that

At the end of the day i will always treasure a character who is simply a good person

Katniss has her moments of frustration but I don't think I can ever get mad at her because like peeta she is a genuinely good person.

Don't listen to her shitty inner monologue she doesn't have a fucking clue she is so empathetic and compassionate and caring she might not be outwardly sweet but she shows it with her actions, with rue, prim, peeta, everyone and everybody her kindness knows no bounds and she does it because she desperately wants to protect the people she loves

I think so much is lost from katniss' character into shitty ya dystopias of the 10s is that compassionate. She did not become a symbol of rebellion because she really wanted to she did it to protect the people she loves every act of rebellion was a show of love and compassion whether it is burying a little girl and singing her to her death or risking it all to help as many people as she can

peeta says it the best that she has no idea the affect she has on people and her crappy elder sister inner monologue shows that she thinks so little of herself and her ability that she undermines her skills and talents and natural charisma.

So much of her is survival “I want to the people i love to survive” and when innocent people die because of her when her friends fall to save her it hurts and hurts and she is buried under the weight of it all, burying the burden of a rebellion is not something that should be thrust upon a young girl trying to live

she's moody she's feisty but damn does she love deeply and passionately it just looks different.

THG is a very gross book there is no other way to describe everything is far uglier then you remember. The wolf mutts that look like tributes the tears the blood and pain its all so awful. Reading through the pain and the suffering and it does this really odd thing of making you smile in between the moments of terror. I love katniss' flashbacks through the book and how they reveal more and more of the story.

Katniss could have abandoned peeta and left him like he told her too multiple times but she wanted him to live she wanted that boy who gave her bread to survive and she knew if he died she would never recover it may not be the love we are thinking about but it was everything.

I don't think i will forget how awful cato's death is and how my eyes watered reading rue die again. THG is so good and making us despair you come out of that silly book hating nobody there is no tribute that i can afford to hate. The first book has a very unique vibe to it and i like it's style.

CF, catching fire is probably my favorite cause its the least traumatizing. I blame katniss and peeta for that because they are the cutest fucking thing in that stupid book. I argue that it might be a mix of love and codependency thrown in there but the cutest shit.

I totally forgot about the gale katniss love stint at the beginning so that was a total surprise.

I love the cast of catching fire i love them all i love finnick and mags and johanna and beetee and wiress and morphling 6 ( i dont like calling her that) i love the stylists and cinna and effie and i like themmmm. i like them all i love how the city and nation cries for their tributes and you see all of their friends and allies come together before the end begins.

That fucking force field has me smiling every time because its the moment where everybody but katniss realizes how much peeta means to her. The stupid pearl and the stupid locket make my heart hurt because peeta loves her so much and wants her to live and she doesn't care because she'll do anything and everything to keep him alive.

Watching them hold each other in the train, cry over force fields, drag each other through fog and water, hold each other in their arms after terrible jabberjays, even before when she was watching him bring her bread and paint in her home and katniss would stare at his eyelashes. Like she says it would be easy to let peeta go but she will never do that and she can't. Calling out for each other before she blows up the damn force field like fuck you all even if they didn't fall in love i know damn well they should've stayed together.

MJ is such a hollow book you just come out of it with emptiness like im not sad i wont cry but i feel a bit empty because you look at all the things you had and then its all gone, what was katniss fighting for? her sister, her mother, gale? and its all gone in and instant nothing remains, her friends her home the companions she made along the way and it hurts and hurts. You close the book and take a deep sign and just feel whatever is left to feel. Madge's death kind of hurt me she was the symbol behind the symbol and she is just gone. everybody is gone

Like there is nowhere to begin its falling in love even more with finnick and watching him disappear its falling in love with katniss' little camera crew and watching them disappear

its prim the light that started this just disappear and whats left NOTHING

there are so many moments where katniss wants to rip her head off but she can't because she doesn't have time there is no space there is no room its not until she if shipped back to her home all alone that she truly breaks down because she can. there is no more rebellion she has to be strong for there is no prim or mother she has to lead and she is stuck with all the weight all alone.

MJ just left me hollow like maybe if i read this years ago after CF came out i would’ve hand the sticky stuffy feeling i get in chest when i read bittersweet stories but i don’t know if this is sweet enough and it’s not bitter? it’s nothing just nothing is left

i love the parallels the book has with modern society like this is a death game where children have to fight to the death and everyone only paid attention to the love triangle and romance like they did in the games of the fact nobody cared a 16 year old girl would die in senseless violence until they realized she was pregnant like the baby suddenly makes her life valuable

simple acts of kindness labeled as rebellious and innocent children are forced to shoulder the weight of the world when they have no one left. there are so many moments where death would be the kindest thing to any of these characters because they had no hope but hope enters so when they die their death hurts like nothing else.

it tells a story of war and survival that seems so far away but so close. Katniss just wanted to live and the people she loved to live she never asked to become the face of a war but she does it and she stands strong until she can’t anymore i love her and i think her love and empathy has been lost over the years

if i were to talk about the romance okay it’s been years i knew peeta was going to win but seeing him again was so refreshing cause he is so charming and sweet and it makes my heart flutter. if katniss didn’t want him i’ll take him

i don’t hate gale, like his anger and rage caused prim’s death and you can argue having Coin in his ear and having to raise his family all by himself traumatized him so he believes it’s okay to sacrifice innocent lives (children and doctors mind you) for the greater good.

Both boys are rebels and they are good people deep down but peeta is motivated by kindness he does these things because it is the kind thing to do gale does these things because he’s angry for all he has to suffer. Both sides are justified in their feelings but it’s about katniss at the end of the day

there are many moments where katniss is taken back my gale’s cruelness and flame. She doesn’t need him to appeal to her anger to the rebellious aspect of her being. Peeta however appeals to the softer side of her soul the one that nurtures little girls who sings people to sleep he opens up the sweet side of katniss that she is positive doesn’t exist. She can be painfully romantic and she can tell everyone she doesn’t see the beauty in the world but she does she sees it every time.

There is more to katniss that fighting and hunting and i don’t think gale knew that. At the end of the day the only option was Peeta because he complimented the side of her that was buried by the weight of the world and i think that adds more meaning to her life than anything else

there are so many characters to talk about j loved ever second with haymitch and how he acts like he doesn’t care but every single tribute that has come after him has left a hole in his heart. My district 12 tributes are disasters but they truly care about each other probably every only people left in the world who would risk it all

[kianbe]

MEOW, MEOW 🐱 김기안 → 사토코우

when kian began viewing training as fun instead of mandatory work, he started having a better experience. now that he's fully adjusted to the schedule, and can tell enthusiastically tell people that he spends all his time steeped in music, he finds it more worthwhile. that's why he's at lime entertainment anyway, for his love of music.

his mom always says he came out of the womb singing, and though the thought of that has always made kian life, she asserts it to be true. she says that even his cries were melodic somehow, and it was through these stories that kian felt that maybe singing was his purpose in life. he was born to share his voice with the world, and to hopefully make people happy with it. that's why being an idol appeals to him, especially knowing, too, that one of his siblings is working as one right now.

his older brother, doan, tells him that, when you're an idol, the job isn't so much about music as it is about fan service. that, over time, creating new melodies and being creative in that sense lessens, and its replaced with the expectation of appeasing thousands, sometimes even millions, of people. it's a lot of pressure to place on a person's shoulders, much less a young adult's, and while kian knows his brother is only trying to look out for him, reminders of his future sometimes scare him. he hopes he doesn't become jaded.

for now though, he's sitting on the steps of an alternate entrance to axis labels with kou. this spot isn't one that he frequents, so he had no idea that there's a stray cat or two that visit here now and again. kou supposedly keeps them well-fed and entertained, so they return to visit him during breaks. kian's just glad to be included. things like this help recenter him whenever he's feeling overwhelmed. they remind him of simpler times; the ones he's slowly leaving behind.

"this is the life, isn't it?" he asks, guitar in his lap, lazily playing a few chords he's developing into new projects. "yeah, we're often tired, but we dance, and we sing, and we chill with cats... what more can we really ask for?" there is a certain privilege that comes with this position, after all. that's how he sees it anyway. many of his peers are struggling through college exams right now, their futures dependent on what degree program they choose and whether they can land a job post-graduation.

his chosen path has levels of uncertainty to it, too, but at least he's mostly stress-free and comfortable. he'll take what he can get at this point. a simple life is better than a complicated one in his opinion.

glancing over at kou, kian offers a smile. "you got any requests for me? name something—i'll see if i can play it. i've got lots of songs that take up all the space in my head. it's probably why some people think i don't have a brain." with that, he laughs, completely content and curious to see what kou will throw at him.

[modernmisadventures]

Chapter 12: Do You Wanna Build a PC?

The apartment building stretched intimidatingly into the sky before Jess, as she stared at its glass-paneled walls in awe. Even idling in the upper parts of town felt… well, wrong, given her status as a lowly bartender, dressed in a simple tank top and jeans as she was. 

Figuring she’d hesitated long enough, she pushed through the revolving doors, eyes widening at what greeted her inside. A massive, open lobby, a fountain decorating the center with what felt like entirely too many guards standing around - primarily Au Ra men, dressed in suits with dark sunglasses blocking their eyes. Had she entered an apartment building, or a bank? 

“Excuse me?” A call echoed through the otherwise-empty room; a Midlander man stared expectantly at the out-of-place woman from his seat behind a desk. “Do you have business at Takechi Towers?”

“I, um- Yes!” Jess fought the urge to turn tail and run, quickly fishing her tomephone out of her pocket against her better judgment and pulling up her messages. “I’m here to see a Varrus Varlineau, Apartment 12A?” 

The receptionist seemed satisfied with that answer, giving a nod to one of the guards beside the elevator, before motioning the Highlander over. 

“Have a good day, miss.”

With that, she was ushered onto the elevator, where yet another Au Ra awaited, wordlessly pressing the button for floor 12. 

The ride was… well, unbelievably awkward, to say the least, Jess doing her best not to stare at the man as he looked unflinchingly straight ahead. Part of her wondered if she was about to step off the elevator into a kidnapping plot… And, for as little as she knew of Cirdan… It didn’t seem implausible. 

Which did little to explain why a goofy, seemingly-kind-hearted man like Varrus would associate with him. 

They arrived after what felt like an eternity, the elevator operator uttering not a single word, leaving the woman to step off on her own. There were only two doors on the floor: one labeled 12A and another ‘roof access.’ Her steps echoed unsettlingly as she strode down the short, tiled hallway to the solid metal door, noting the several deadbolts visible from her side. 

Deadbolts? Were they so necessary, with all the security even preventing her from getting up to the top floor in the first place? Just what kind of apartment complex was this?

Glancing back over her shoulder, she found the elevator gone, and her chances of escape along with. And so, fighting her nervousness, she reached up and tapped the knocker against the steel, a ting ting ting breaking the silence of the building. She didn’t even hear the footsteps from inside; had she not heard the deadbolts sliding, she’d have thought that perhaps she got the wrong day, or time, that no one was home… 

Instead, the door swung open, revealing the smiling face of a familiar Elezen, instantly calming her nerves - until she remembered he was still a complete stranger to her. One whose super-secured apartment she was about to enter.

“Glad you made it,” he greeted, opening the door wide, his invitation clear. And what she saw as she stepped inside sent her jaw dropping to the floor. A wall of windows lined one side of the open living area, affording a view over all of Carteneau and the flats beyond illuminating the kitchen - a kitchen she could only ever dream of, with professional, state-of-the-art cooking equipment, a full gas stove, two built-in ovens and a fridge larger than her bed. And the living room in between boasted the largest TV she’d ever seen, mounted into the wall, with two plush leather couches and… not much else.

Decorating was, as far as Jess could tell, not the men’s strong suit. 

A spiral staircase sat off to one side, leading to a balcony above, and a host of doors she assumed must have been some manner of bedroom, with a second set of doors on the base floor below. The floor itself was a grey hardwood throughout, the walls pristine white. Clean… Almost too clean. 

Not that she cared, in that moment; she unabashedly hurried past Varrus, leaning on the windowsill and practically pressing her face up against the glass. 

“Varrus!” she gasped, her wondrous expression reflecting in the crystal-clear windows. “This is amazing!” 

“Not bad, huh?” he chuckled; she heard him setting the handful of locks before striding towards her. 

“Not bad?!” She shot him a glance over her shoulder. “Varrus, I live in a basement. This is heaven!” 

She turned to see him smiling at her, nervously fidgeting with his hands. “Yeah, I, um… It’s Cir’s place, not mine. I just moved in a month or two ago…” 

“Ah, that explains the lack of… furnishings.” 

“You got me there.” He nervously chuckled. “Well, I’ve got the PC stuff ready in my bedroom, if you’d like to give that a go.”

“Your bedroom?” Her brows furrowed, her worry creeping back in - she’d trusted him thus far, trusted him enough to wander into what felt like a government vault, let him lock her inside on the top floor of the building with no other escapes… Her eyes quickly looked him up and down - he was a good fulm taller than her, and she could see a hint of muscle beneath his buttoned-up shirt and rolled-up sleeves, but, given her training, she felt fairly confident she could take him, if she had need. Now, getting out in a hurry, on the other hand…

“Oh, I- I just-” He must have caught her concern, his own brows furrowing as he bit his lip. “I didn’t mean it like that; my computer desk is in my bedroom, is all, but I could grab everything and move it out here if that’s better for you. To make you more comfortable. I didn’t mean to imply-”

She couldn’t help but cock her head, his words slowly trailing off as a smile grew upon her face - no, his nervous fidgeting and stuttering told her all she’d needed to know. 

“You’re fine,” she assured. “I’m sorry for thinking poorly of you.”

“No, I should have-”

“Varrus.” She gently placed a hand upon his arm, silencing him once more. “You’re fine. Now, are you going to take me to your bedroom or not?”

She felt an evil glee rising inside of her as she watched him blush, the very tips of his ears turning a light pink as he cleared his throat. 

“Right, it’s… this way.”

She let her hand fall from his arm as he turned, leading her back to one of the doors on the main floor - only for her eyebrows to shoot straight into her hairline. The bedroom was nearly as impressive as the rest of the apartment, a solid wall of floor-to-ceiling window framing the massive bed, a PC with multiple monitors nestled into a corner, a messy, walk-in closet in another, but most importantly was-

“Is that a balcony?!”

Jess didn’t wait for an answer, hurrying past the Elezen and yanking open the sliding glass door. Sure enough, a wide balcony greeted her, a table with two seats situated beside the fanciful railing; she stopped ilms before reaching the edge, hesitantly peeking over before yelping and jumping back, practically colliding with the man behind her. 

“Careful,” Varrus snorted. “Would hate to see you fall.”

“You and I both.” Cautiously, she gripped the railing, peering over just as far as she dared before stepping back once more. “I can’t believe you live in a place like this!”

“Most days, neither can I.”

Yet there was one place she hadn’t inspected… perhaps the most important of them all. Manners be damned, she gently brushed past the Elezen, heading towards the door she’d spotted along the wall - and opening it revealed exactly what she thought it would. The bathroom was larger than most bedrooms she’d seen, hosting the same floor-to-ceiling window along the outer wall with a large, open stone shower, a double vanity across from it, beside-

“Is that a jacuzzi?!” Jess couldn’t help but gasp, eyeing the large tub situated into the floor. “Do you mind if I just… live in here? You won’t even notice me, I promise.”

At that, Varrus gave a laugh that echoed off the tiled floor. “It’s… a bit much, yeah. Cir gets a lot more use out of his jacuzzi than I do - and I don’t think I need to explain why.”

“Oh.” The word fell from her lips probably harsher than she’d intended; it seemed Cip was right about his… activities, without her. Though, judging by the photo she’d regrettably seen the previous night… perhaps Cip herself would be getting quite cozy with the Au Ra’s tub in the near future. “Well, I mean, you must get some fun out of it, right?”

“Not… in that way,” Varrus muttered; Jess glanced over her shoulder to find him rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Well, that’s a waste,” she snorted. “A place like this and you could convince just about anyone you wanted to spend some quality time with you.” Not that she imagined he needed to work hard to convince anyone, not with his tall, lean build, his thick, wavy hair and warm, golden eyes. No, she was certain he could get damn near anyone he wanted, and probably did, if he lived with the likes of Cirdan. 

“Maybe… But I’ve never found anyone I wanted to invite here - aside from you, that is.” And as she met his eye with a small smirk, he quickly held his palms up, stammering, “I- I mean, not like that, I just- I was trying to make a joke. I- I’m not very good at this, sorry.”

“What, flirting with women in your private bathroom?”

“What? No! Joking! I- I mean, I’m not good at that either- Not that I’d know, mind you, but-”

Shaking her head, she took mercy on the poor, adorable man, striding back towards him and giving him a pat on the shoulder. 

“The, uh… You’re welcome to hang out in my bathroom if you really want, but the PC stuff is in here.”

“Oh. Right.” So enthralled had she been in her surroundings and her company that she’d already forgotten why she was there - and it wasn’t for the jacuzzi, much to her dismay. With a blush of her own, she followed the man back into his bedchambers, where he stopped before his desk, all manner of strange devices strewn about. 

“Ok,” she placed her hands on her hips, “this all looks downright Allagan to me. Where do I start.”

“Grab the motherboard first.”

At her blank stare, he granted her mercy, reaching forward and handing her easily the most confusing item on the desk. “This one. Here, lay it on top of this box. Everything we have will plug into this.”

She nodded, staring at the foreign item in confusion.

“Now, the easiest thing to do next is to install the CPU - the little square one…”

And so Jess did her best to follow along with his instructions; though, all things told, Varrus really did the most of the work; she was simply content to listen to his smooth, deep voice gently walking her through the steps, his hand occasionally closing over hers, guiding her movements, until, somehow, she tightened the final screw, securing the myriad of parts into its case. 

“And there you go.” Varrus grinned. “See, I told you you could do it.”

“It can’t be that easy,” Jess huffed, staring at the newly-built PC before her in awe. “Where’s the catch?” 

“Well, we have to turn it on - and pray it works. Then I have to test and install some things - nothing fun, I assure you.” 

“Well, then we’ll make it fun.”

He laughed. “I like the way you think.” And so he pulled over his chair, motioning to the bed behind him, where Jess sat herself down - only to gasp in surprise at the plushness that rose up to encompass her. She couldn’t help but laugh, flopping backwards into the mess of blankets. 

“Having fun?”

She glanced over the plume of down comforter to catch the Elezen bemusedly grinning at her. 

“I don’t know how you ever leave this bed.” 

“Some days, neither do I.”

“So,” she propped herself up on her elbows, “you said you moved in only a few months ago? How did you meet Cirdan?”

“At work, believe it or not. I took a job for his father’s company; he was sent to oversee my work, and through that we got to talking and he explained he was looking for a roommate. This whole place is owned by his father, too. Only way we can afford to live here.”

She let out a hum. “Explains a lot. So what is it Cirdan, or his father, do?”

“I… don’t know.”

She raised an eyebrow at the Elezen in surprise. “Do you not have the same job?”

“Oh, no,” Varrus snorted. “I’m just a lowly tech maintenance guy. Cir does… Well, he handles a lot of his father’s… business. What exactly that business is, I haven’t asked - and I’m willing to bet you can guess why.”

Hesitantly, she nodded - there was something decidedly unsettling about the whole place, though, there in that bedroom, she felt surprisingly at ease - especially for being around a stranger. A completely adorable stranger, but a stranger nonetheless.

“Well, where did you live before this?”

“With my mother, actually,” came his answer, a hint of nervousness in his voice. “And my sister. I know, I know, pretty old to live with my parents at 24 and already out of college, but-”

“Hey, I’m not judging - like I said, I live in a basement.”

Varrus gave a relieved grin. “Well, shall we see if this baby posts?”

“Posts?”

“Turns on.”

“How do you turn it on?”

“Well,” he smirked, “usually I like to stroke it gently and whisper sweet nothings into its ports-”

“Varrus!” 

He laughed. “There’s a power button - you plugged it into the motherboard, but I don’t blame you for not remembering. Here.” With a click, the machine whirred to life, a myriad of rainbow lights emitting from inside as its fans spun up and a logo flashed across one of the Elezen’s screens. 

“There. Easy peasy.”

“Hm, I guess you are good at turning things on.”

“Computers, anyway.” 

She watched him glance away with another blush, and decided that shade of pink definitely suited his bronzed skin.

“So, uh, you mentioned a mother and sister? Anyone else in your life?” A question that had a hidden meaning, one she wasn’t brave enough to ask outright. 

“My cousin,” came his answer. “And that’s it. My father died in a fire when I was young - we moved here from Ishgard shortly after.”

“Wait-” she interjected, “you’re Ishgardian?”

Varrus gave a nod. “Sorry I don’t have the sexy accent - I was young when we left.”

“That’s amazing!” she gasped, sitting up fully and leaning forward against her knees. “I’ve always wanted to visit, the land of knights and dragons, the beautiful winters, the castles, the grand balls…”

“Well, maybe several ages ago. Now it’s just religion and politics - the scenery’s nice, though.”

“Oh, I can only imagine.” She could just picture it in her head, the rolling, green forests of pine, the snow-capped mountains all around, where man and dragon worked hand-in…claw? 

“Well, maybe I ought to show you around sometime.” 

She raised an eyebrow to match his, and the thought of visiting somewhere exotic with a tall, handsome native…? It sounded like the perfect vacation to her. 

“Maybe you should.”

Once again, the two caught each others’ gazes - she felt she could simply lose herself in his honey-colored eyes, the carrying the warmth of his smile, contrasting against his deep, purple hair whose long strands fell messily into his face. With a start, she thought back to her conversation with Cip the other day, about her ideal man - someone tall, with long hair and warm eyes… Well, only time would tell, but maybe, just maybe…

“I, um… Still have a few things to test here.”

Oh. Right. The computer. 

“You can help yourself to whatever’s in the kitchen, if you’d like.”

“Sounds great.” Jess stood with a stretch, catching him staring at her as she opened her eyes once more - only for him to quickly glance away as soon as he realized he was being watched. She was used to be stared at, in her line of work, of course, but, somehow… it felt different, coming from him. More… sincere, in a way. Almost heartwarming. 

Not that she was so cheesy to believe anything like that. 

All the same, she hadn’t eaten in a while… and an excuse to snoop through their gorgeous kitchen was one she simply couldn’t pass. She strode out of the room, making straight for the kitchen - yet every cabinet she opened came up empty, save for a lone salt-shaker and a pitiful lemon pepper seasoning, alongside a handful of dishes. Puzzled, she opened the fridge - and the reason soon became clear. Piled nearly to the top was takeout container upon takeout container; she couldn’t help but shudder, quickly closing the fridge and marching back into the Elezen’s room.

“Why, exactly, do you have nothing but takeout in your fridge?!”

“There’s not just takeout,” Varrus insisted, his tone almost pained as he swiveled in his chair to face her. “I’m almost certain there’s a tube of salami in one of the drawers.”

“Do you seriously invite people over and expect them to be satisfied with just your salami?”

The man shrugged. “I… don’t really have people over. Cir does, often - people he intends to sleep with. They just show up, do the deed and leave. Guests are a new thing to both of us; I suppose I never thought about it. If you’d like, I can order-”

She cut him off with a shake of her head. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll make something when I get back to the bar. But surely you know how to cook?”

The Elezen’s furrowed brows answered that. 

“Are you telling me… You have that entire gorgeous kitchen… And neither of you cook?!”

Now that was nearly enough to make her faint - or scream. 

“Look, you said you’re 24, yeah? I think it’s about time you learn.”

“I’ve just… never had a reason to.”

“Well, what if I taught you? At least the basics, as repayment for teaching me how to build a computer.”

“What? No, I couldn’t ask you to do that, don’t feel like you have to do something in return-”

“I don’t have to.” She grinned. “I want to.”

“In that case,” he matched her smile, “I don’t think I can rightly say no.”

“I’d do it tonight, here and now, if I didn’t have to leave for work.”

Varrus’ smile slowly faded, a sigh escaping his lips as he glanced up to the clock on his wall. “Right. You probably need to go. Well, here.” He stood, quickly flicking the computer off and unplugging it before holding it out to her, much to her confusion. “For you.”

“For me?” She gently accepted the PC, finding it surprisingly light in her arms. She’d agreed to learn how to build a computer; never in his invitation had he mentioned giving her one. “Varrus, I can’t accept this! I don’t even have-”

“Oh, right!” He turned, bending over and rummaging beneath his desk, before returning with a mouse and keyboard. “You’ll need these, too.” 

“But, I can’t…” She trailed off at the sadness that flickered through his eyes, concern plain upon his face… a look she simply couldn’t refuse. So, instead, she buried her pride and her shame, planting a wide grin upon her face. “Thank you, Varrus. You’re too sweet.”

“So you’ve said,” he laughed. “I look forward to hearing your Mast Effect adventures while you’re beating my ass with a whisk. Um, in the kitchen. Learning to cook. That is.” 

“Of course,” she nodded, though she knew she wouldn’t exactly be playing anytime soon - the last thing she wanted to admit was that she didn’t exactly have a screen… or a chair… or a place to put it… But it would make a nice memento to her first day with a new friend. 

A new friend she felt she was very much beginning to like.

Platonically, of course. 

“When do you want to come by again? For cooking, I mean.”

“Um…” She peeked over the PC in her arms, barely able to see. “How about… Saturday?”

“Saturday it is.” His grin was wide, filling her own chest with a joy unlike any she’d felt before. 

“Saturday.” She nodded once more. It was only the chiming of the clock that gave her cause to stir, breaking her from his spell as he glanced at the clock once more, then the door behind her. 

“Here, let me help you with the doors.” 

She nodded gratefully, following as he guided her back towards the front and unlocked the myriad of bolts and chains. 

“Saturday, unless I see you sooner.”

“Don’t be a stranger,” came her farewell, as she stepped into the hallway, meeting his gaze one last time before he slowly closed the door. And, gods, she hoped he wouldn’t be.