#its weird to talk about because it was just normal day to day stuff for me so like
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still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)
#alek insanity#not gonna main tag this but prepare for a tiny rant#home is actually really good zane characterization and its super cool to me how it holds up to this day#s1 characterization is very specific to me because the behaviors displayed by the ninja there (mostly) isnt bc thats how they really are but#its due to societal pressure. cole originally being more 'stone faced tough guy' -> 'down to earth' -> 'really sensible easy to talk to guy'#is because hes always been a sensitive guy... but he felt he couldnt express that true version of himself. thats the whole thing behind his#true potential. jay going from s1 -> s6 -> now is less of societal pressure and more teenager figuring himself out but it still applies. ish#seeing how much the ninja have changed or grown from then to now is amazing because back then they all wore masks. they didnt know each#other all that well. but theyve gained that comfortability with each other and also have grown and matured as people#some seasons / eps characterization for certain people im not a fan of (lloyds random misogyny arc in s13) but i mean the overall trend here#and then there is zane. zane in home was pretty dead on to how he behaves now (at least... when it comes to his faults?) and i dont want to#say people skim over that but i am the sf proclaimed n1 s1e2 fan and overthink every scene. zane's early characterization is some of my fav#for him period. he also goes through a ton of traumatic stuff and a ton of bad writing bouts but why he acts so 'weird' or 'distant' has#always been a thread sewn in. he changed so much he stayed the same in a way... if that makes sense. -> ohhh the ninja get mail and he#doesnt? oh he has no family? he quite literally walks away from that situation. oh the ninja are yelling in his face and asking whats wrong#with him? he literally walks away from that situation. he says its to follow the falcon but seeing how he apologized to them by not only#baking a ton of pies (cough... the food fight is what led to him leaving at first) but he also found them a whole entire new house.#zane is unable to truly value what he does for others. insert him in s11 saying he 'tried' to fufill his goal of protecting others.#everything he has ever done still isnt good enough. then the ninja tried to apologize and he didnt really... let them.#that one post about characters putting on facades and that facade being how people really see them. even in fandom. thats zane to me#the guy who lies about being upset and avoids his problems ran away after being yelled at? and he said he wasnt really mad? that is a lie!!#him being a ~360 when it comes to his character development is neat to me because he never hid behind a mask in the same way the others did#cole wanting to seem tough vs being really soft? kai wanting approval so bad he starts being selfish? kai isnt selfish usually!#he is self centered but that is a whole different thing. just wanting to fit in and breaking free of that. zane's true potential came in the#form of 'i finally know why i am not normal' instead of 'i will be my true self'. zane never pretended to not be weird#(instert book) states he literally didnt know why people got mad at him. he just existed and it was 'wrong'. the mask he hid behind was#avoidance. he was pretty open about how he actually was (most of the time). when he was upset he would audibly sigh and walk away lol#but for him saying he wasnt upset / saddened by the ninja... it felt like a moment of selflessness. if that makes sense. he blamed himself#for the monestary burning down. so he didnt deserve the apologies (ish) in the virtues of spinjitzu zane is shown as the generous one iirc#he puts the needs of others over his own. he will bear whatever burden he needs if others are happy. at that same time he doesnt allow
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girl help a soda did not fix me i have so much i need to do
#normally soda gives me a little kick that gets me going and maybe this isnt going right cause its sparkling water#but normally that works too#we chinese slide puzzled my remaining stuff that i need to put up in my room and for a bit i was normal#we as me and my dad did cause i was talking to him about the mental block i had on my room and how distressed i was#now im so tired cause i worked on this damn banner thing for like several hours and only it and i cant really show it cause its weird out#of context so its going to not be seen by my art moots because despite it being pixel art i worked hard on its. yeah#for a college thing for a friend cause its an unofficial college discord server so i think its weird dropping it in my art channel#im just so tired and i dont want to be so im yelling about it here cause RGHRHKER FUCK GIVE ME ENERGY#i had a day where i did nothing i cant have another so soon i will explode#i will change up my music and if that doesnt help me i will just. well i cant say that my therapist told me to stop saying that
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having did and being online in any capacity is so fucking exhausting because you literally can't go anywhere without seeing the most heinous takes about your existence or validity it's like. can we be normal. can we please be normal and Chill for like two seconds.
#HEADS UP: this accidentally turned into a huge rant/vent feel free to get the hell out el oh el#i try reallly hard not to talk about it too much here because you can. offhandedly mention the mere concept of did or osdd or any#dissociative disorder and its like. people will not shut up about how its not real or how its people being delusional or kids being cringe#like. can we go. two seconds without treating people with mental disorders like a spectacle. please. you dont have to have a ''take'' on it#idk and i also avoid online did communities bc theyre the most exhausting spaces you can ever be in and theres constant fighting about#literally anything and everything. like. maybe i would like to find a space to meet other people with similar experiences to my own.#and we dont get that!! we literally cannot get that. and this goes for a lot of mental health related stuff but like my god#and im very lucky to have other people i know in real life who also have did so i can in some amount have that support system (hah.)#but it is EXHAUSTINGG that people cannot go literally a day without saying something stupid about systems#or i can be following someone for years and unprompted they will saysomething heinous thing about did and hide it behind something like#get a load of how weird and cringey kids are getting online these days.#and CHRISTT thats a whole OTHER issue i REALLY dont wanna talk about because it has its own whole set of nuances but like jeeeesus#is it really so hard for people to grasp that brains when exposed to traumas at a young age will be affected by it in weird ways.#idk man ive been seeing a lot of offhanded disregard for systems recently and it's so normalized and it's starting to get to me i guess#i wish people could just go well this is something i dont understand and dont need to have an opinion on and move on with their lives.#what the hell ever this is all to say having did has impacted my life in a lot of complicated and intricate and hard to explain ways and it#sometimes painful and awful but other times is an incredible experience and ALSO. most IMPORTANTLY !#i should be able to make jokes about BEING FRIENDS with SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG!! in REAL LIFE!!!#and not have to deal with SUICIDE BAIT IN MY INBOXX BECAUSE OF IT!!!#WHATEVERRR !!! RANT OVARRR I HAVE NOODLES TO MAKE AND EAT#.... WITH my friend SHADOW!!!#.txt#and btw this isnt about anyone ik here so dont worry im not upset with any mutuals etc etc and all that.#in fact i love getting the chance to chat about it n it can be fun to teach stuff to people who know how to like...be normal about it LOL#<3
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lots of homeschooling lore in your tags these days LMAO would you mind sharing a bit about how that works? genuinely curious
lmao sure tho it isnt the most exciting story
my mum always wanted to homeschool bc she wasnt a fan of how restrictive school curriculums are (shes v much an advocate for montessori style child-directed learning) but i wanted to go to school Like The Kids On TV so she let me. i spent about 3 years at primary school where i was the classroom punching bag THE ENTIRE TIME. highlights include being pushed down a flight of stairs IN FRONT OF A TEACHER WHO DID NOTHING, another teacher punishing me for being better at maths than my classmates bc i kept tearing through her worksheets too fast (i cant do maths for shit anymore she scared it out of me) and a "friend" of mine's brother getting his hands on the axe they had for firewood and chasing me around while i was over on a "playdate" (these quotes are bc this girl was in fact horrendous to me)
i was actively suicidal by the time i was 8 and my mum just stopped even trying to take me to school at that point (around the time i started throwing up with fear every morning) and after a lot of VERY angry meetings the best the school would do was an anti bullying assembly, which meant everyone knew i had tattled. my mum was fucking furious about all of this & went ahead with the homeschooling application she had halted when i decided i wanted to go to school. the guidelines at the time (im not sure what they are these days) were just that a child had to be educated "as regularly and as well" as they would be in school, with check-ins from the MoE every few years.
i dont remember how long it took the application to go through but yea after that i was homeschooled. my mum bought up a shitload of textbooks and workbooks and drew up lesson plans but her focus was still on student-directed learning so as my interests developed in various areas that was where the focus went. we did have designated sit-down time every day, but for the most part she would give me resources and assignments/goals and let me go hog wild at whatever my current fascinations were with some guidance and oversight along the way. it did mean losing access to anything that required specific facilities - i dont know shit about chemistry bc we didnt have like. a lab lmao. but yea by the time i was 11 i was on to university textbooks for some subjects (this is not a big flex these were early 00s computer science textbooks the first lesson in cs101 was literally "this is called an on button. this is called a mouse.") and by the time i was 16 we were doing uni-level work in pretty much every subject i was interested in, at the expense of subjects i didnt give a shit about. (i do not know fuck shit about like. geography or maths to this day)
the assessments were pretty chill, govt people would basically just take a few random samples of my work to look over and do a lil interview with me to make sure i was learning shit. for socialisation my parents made sure i did plenty of after school activities (dance, swimming, scouting, drama, conservation club, etc) and my dad took us on trips to like. the museum or nature reserves or whatever every weekend for Enrichment.
once i was 15/16 we started looking into uni entry, but the rules had changed since i started homeschooling. when i started there was a single uni entry exam you had to sit at sixth form and that was that. they replaced it when i was. 12-ish i think with the current system, which involves a complicated nightmare of three years of both internal (classwork) and external (exam) credits and the requirements are nebulous and seem to change year to year and basically it sucks shit and every single assignment from fifth form onwards counts towards your uni entry so its massively high stress. this also means you CANT get uni entry as a homeschooler, because theres no way to get those internal credits. we tried a few different routes to get UE but the best option we were given was one high school offered to let me sit fifth, sixth, and seventh form all at the same time in one year to get my credits. this was Unideal because the whole point was to Not go to high school, it was work i had already done and didnt wanna do again, and it was three years worht of work crammed into one. so i never got uni entry and have basically been bumming around since.
UE problems aside, homeschooling worked really well for my family. my mum is disabled so she was home all the time anyway. both of my parents are highly educated so they had the backgrounds to provide a cohesive and varied curriculum, and my sister and i are both neurodivergent so the one on one attention and flexibility in format was ENORMOUSLY helpful for us. my sister has never been to any kind of mainstream schooling and it would have been absolute hell if she had tried. (shes very severely dyslexic and schools in the early 00s were. not set up to help with that)
so yea thats the homeschooling lore - i missed out on a lot of stuff for sure (met one of my exes entirely beecuase i wanted to go to formal SO FUCKING BAD and my only option was to go to someone else's so a mutual friend set us up so i could go with her lmao) but it took me out of an extremely bad situation and gave me an education that was much better suited to my own learning needs. i know homeschooling has a Certain Reputation, especially in the us, but my experience was wholly unrelated to that side of the homeschooling community, and it was unbelievably beneficial to me. looking back i dont regret the time i spent in mainstream school (i met my best friend there and i literally dont know where i would be without them weve been through the fucking fire and back) but homeschooling was the healthiest thing possible for me and my family and im so so so grateful my parents were able to do that for me
#Anonymous#sorry this is so long and rambly lmao#its weird to talk about because it was just normal day to day stuff for me so like#idk whats even relevant to discuss haha#''what should our learning goals this week be?''#''uhhhhh i wanna study lizards''#''fuck yeah lizard week lets gooooooooooo''#''ok by friday i want an essay on lizard facts and finish five pages of your japanese workbook''#''tomorrow we'll work through the english textbook together and get some lizard books from the library for your essay''#like it was more in depth than that obviously but that was the vibe
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Being a fictive is so stupid because why am I having devastating emotions over someone who doesn't exist. Insane to be feeling real genuine grief over someone that I am aware isn't real, like how does that even .. work..
I've been teary eyed all day and genuinely distressed and upset even at work. Work usually helps distract me cause I'm doing stuff, but no matter how hard I tried to focus on my tasks I still just kept thinking about how much I miss him. Like it feels just SO real to me, the feelings are real, the memories are there, but I am well aware I never truly experienced any of that and it's just so crazy how that even happens. Why do I have memories of things that never happened, even things that aren't canon to my source??
Another thing that's so wild is that I get phantom pains in the spots that I have scars and stuff in my source. My arm often aches and sometimes even legitimately HURTS, but this body has all of its limbs attached, it has almost no scars, and yet.. I still feel it all. The brain is such a strange and powerful thing. Fucked up that it can make me feel these things and I don't get it. Also fucked up that I'm the only fictive in our system that goes through this level of pain. Like the others do have their issues of course and do have memories of things too, but it doesn't affect them even close to how it is for me. Aauaghh augh
#sorry for the sorta vent#ive just been going through it and its so weird bc it shouldnt even be an issue#but i guess thats how being a fictive can be sometimes#as our partner said it's like i got isekai'd from my world and shoved into a body thats not my own#I'm still the same Vash just missing my real body and some of my abilities and skills#its just really weird cause at the end of the day i know im not. im just some traumatized guy with a shattered identity#but at the same time I am not#its whatever. its just hard because not many people understand#If I tried explaining any of this to a normal well adjusted person theyd probably write me off as crazy so i just keep most of this inside#figured i could talk about it here though cause no one cares#if any of my friends see this . hi. dont worry about any of this#system stuff#plurality#fictive struggles#vent
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At long last: either an alternate explanation for or continuation of my prior comic regarding how Bill was ABSOLUTELY naked in Ford's karaoke night drawing. (Because errors in art do not exist. Artists do not make mistakes. So if you see any in this comic, No You Do Not.)
I am so normal about these old dorks.
I'm not really clear on exactly when Bill started throwing his desperation book at Ford just like a needy ex do, but I find it extremely funny to imagine it happening literally the day of or after the makeshift funeral. Bill just gets this weird sense of 'Ford is taking steps to move on' and CANNOT FUCKING ABIDE.
I hope you enjoy all the goofy things I added to each page of Bill's sad spieling. (Everything SHOULD be readable so long as you view the full size, but I have added basically this whole little fanfic in the image descriptions, LMAO, which lays out all the little written notes and such.) Also don't ask how Bill managed to sneak that vampire pen in there. I have no idea, and honestly? I don't wanna know.
Oh, and a little bonus comic:
Of course Bill would take it as flirting. Because between the two of them, Bill is the bigger masochist By Far. :)
Also I have continued applying The Good Place logic to any of Bill's attempts to swear. Case in point, one last bonus image, this time with a motivational line from my slapdash Theraprism OC, EV-01:
Yes, its name is just 'love' backwards. No, I will not be taking any feedback on this. Yes, EV-01 was only ever assigned to Bill's case due to the Theraprism being desperate to make some progress in rehabilitating him. No, it did not work anywhere close to staff's expectations - Bill didn't even appreciate EV-01's matching fondness for bowties! (He claimed the fondness to be "cultural appropriation" and insisted he'd been traumatized by it.)
Anyway, if you like my stuff, reblogs are very much appreciated, and if you really really like it, perhaps consider my commissions or yeeting a teeny tiny tip my way? I am trying to recoup over 500 dollars in vet bills, ahaha... 🙃
In other news, I loved all the fun tags people added to the prior naked-karaoke comic (such as 'the hat and bow-tie stay ON during sex' and the classic '[insert keysmash here]', as well as the many amused/bewildered remarks about how I either made the bricks a piece of clothing or just straight up peeled Bill's skin off). However, I think my favorite thing by far was the several people losing their shit over the fact that I gave Bill toes. Like, excuse me? The magical talking triangle can have fingers but not toes??? Since when was that a rule????? 🤣 (Also the one person who reblogged with the cropped panel where Bill's fishnets pants are falling off to ask why Bill peed himself. Dude, I want to examine your brain...?)
Okie-dokie, I'm sick of looking at all of this stuff now and I'm off to go to work, after which I will either scribble some more goofy "Billford" comics or perhaps draw my lame human!Bill in Situations, idk yet. Maybe I'll even finally draw more than just a single other person's human!Bill...? Who knows, but I sure hope I can mix it up a little and not turn whatever I draw into a month-long fukken project. >:\
#fanart#gravity falls#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#the book of bill#comics#i can't believe gravity falls and billford keep on trending almost three full months after the book of bill's release#this is incredible#maybe i will add more tags later idk#i have to go to WORK now blehhhhhh#oh right: Do Not Repost (good luck anyway lol. this is So Many images and all of them are Big XD)
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random percy headcanons:
wants to be the photographer friend SO bad and he technically is but like 70% of the pics come out blurry or weird bc there was a monster attack in the middle of them. his instagram is truly so chaotic looking.
literally always has seashells on him someone will ask him for a pencil or spare change and he has to empty all his pockets of shells to find it. drops his backpack and a bunch of shells fall out. kicks his shoes off and sand and shells fly out and his mortal friends are like percy What the Fuck
his eyes glow underwater!! bioluminescent king. no one told him though and he didn't find out until he joined his school's swim team and terrified everyone (he managed to convince them his contacts were having a weird reaction to chlorine lmao)
he really likes art!! he doesn't just pretend to for rachel's sake he genuinely enjoys painting with her. he likes splatter paint, collages and pop art styles the best. one day after splitting some edibles they realized percy could manipulate water colors and went CRAZY with it
will ask to be excused during class and comes back like an hour later with scorch marks all over his face bleeding from one of his ears covered in dust missing three fingernails rips in his jeans and a fat lip and the teacher is like percy what the actual hell were you doing in the bathroom all this time and he's just like uhhhhhh I have ibs
the brand from camp jupiter did unfortunately (for sally) Unlock something in him lmfao he keeps getting shitty little tattoos. usually stick-n-poke but someone's friends cousin's girlfriend's brother has a gun that gets brought to parties every now and then. most of them are sloppy but you can tell what they are HOWEVER he has one that was supposed to be a seal that came out looking like one of those shitty ms paint crying memes. annabeth laughed at him for ten minutes straight when she saw it.
he wanted to dye his hair blue but he was too chicken to bleach his entire head so he just did the tips. his hair is curly though so it looks absolutely ridiculous but he loves it
percy and annabeth get a crusty little yappy white dog in college and he carries it around like a baby lmao
back to his chaotic instagram, he's got so many pics of him like, relaxing at the bottom of the mariana trench or hugging a giant squid or riding on a whale shark and his mortal friends all think he's just really good at photoshop and this is a very specific bit he decided to commit to. they're always like lol percy where do you even FIND these pictures are you subscribed to like scientific journals for the laughs? but no he just took them all on his shell phone
has an ongoing prank war with annabeth's little brothers bobby and matthew but like it's Unhinged. they're playing 5D chess and she has no idea whats going on
weird tshirts!!! he loves them! like
shit like this or those 'women want me fish fear me' shirts, anything with a funny or incomprehensible slogan is going in his closet right along with his band tees lmfao
bought estelle a panda pillow pet when she was born 🥺
can NOT bring himself to eat seafood no matter how many times poseidon has told him its fine. he's like NO these are my FRIENDS JONATHAN WAS TELLING ME ABOUT HIS GRANDDAUGHTERS WEDDING LITERALLY YESTERDAY WHY IS HE ON A PLATTER DAD. they had to give up and just start eating normal land food at the palace every time he comes to visit lmfao
gets into horsegirl antics with hazel she NEEDS to know everything the horses have to say. they spend hours gossiping in the stables.
movie nights in the poseidon cabin were 10000% a thing and when he was missing annabeth and thalia and grover (and a few others) would still sleep in there every now and then and talk about how much they miss him :(
percy and beckendorf had the worlds most elaborate handshake
he DOES impulse buy stuff just because they're ocean-themed. stuffed animals, home decor, school supplies, clothes, you name it he bought it if theres like a fish on it
has more scars from crashing off his skateboard than he does from monster attacks
grover is somehow the only person who's ever noticed percy is severely claustrophobic
has a deep passion for adele. I can't explain this one I just feel and know it to be true.
he and annabeth both proposed to each other at the same time and they were SO mad about it they kept yelling over each other's speeches lmao
he can SING but he doesn't know it. sally keeps trying to record him singing to himself but something always happens to the camera and she loses the evidence
called chiron a brony one time and mr d thought it was so funny he was nice to percy for an entire week
the camp keeps trying to convince him to teach sword fighting lessons to the younger kids but he can NOT bring himself to swing a sword at a 9 year old so he keeps getting injured
has the most complicated iced coffee order in the world his go-to local coffee shop finally just put the damn drink on the menu and named it after him
he IS the quiet kid in the back of your math class that always has his hood up to try and hide his headphones and eats increasingly elaborate meals out of his backpack when the teacher isn't looking. one time someone caught him with a rotisserie chicken in the middle of a geometry final.
he argued that he DID have enough to share with the class
currently obsessed with the image of him knocking back a container of sea salt as if it was a shot and his mortal friends being like hey! what the actual fuck! and he's just like uhhhhh anemia kills!
its his birthday<3
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The recruits bully octo baby 😭
I feel like since the baby looks like könig, it’s there way of making fun of könig without being throttled
Like on the off days that reader is out and about with octo baby in her sling and here are all these buff men suddenly circling her and making fun of the baby.
“Damn that’s an ugly baby.”
“Imagine having to go through the pain of pregnancies only to have THAT thing come out of you.”
“You think that’s how the colonel looked like as a baby? No wonder he had to kidnap his wife”
They’re all cackling to themselves as reader just scowls at them, hugging her baby close to her and power walking out of there. I can imagine octo baby looking over her shoulder, staring at them with his feelings hurt: 🥺
Yes! The monster society is literally built on valuing only strength and power, so the weird octobaby won't get any privileges even if it's the colonel's child. If anything, poor thing gets ridiculed even more - with how powerful his father is and how pathetic the octobaby are, it's impossible to escape crude jokes. You hate being around his recruits because of this - they are treating your child like its some crusty dusty ugly dog and not a precious baby that might have a bit of grotesquely mixed features of octopus and a human...you still love it!! You actually stopped going out because of it - whenever you're walking around the base without Konig, it would only lead to soldiers discussing you and your life as a pet and how weird it must be to give birth to such ugly creature. Konig is surprised that you're more homebound now, since you were the one to whine and cry whenever he didn't want to let you go out...and now you ask him to just be in your nest?? With you?? Something is wrong, you look unhappy and angry all the time - and it would be normal if he was the reason for this, but no, he was actually on his best behavior lately. You don't want to share what recruits are talking about because you think he would just take their side - he doesn't like the weird octobaby and you know this, so it's better to not even suggest he'd talk to them...but then you break down anyway because you're scared the octobaby is going to get hurt(( and Konig doesn't understand the issues at first, but then he hears all the stuff that the recruits have been telling you - and it's almost a direct attack at him, for insulting his mate and his baby. His soldiers are making you cry!! He couldn't care less about the baby, but he doesn't want his precious mate so sad. Needless to say that some of the most loud recruits are not returning from patrols...and when you're strolling through the hallways now, no one dares to even look at you or the baby.
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hii,
Can i request che‘nya, neige and rollo finding out you‘re a girl please?
(Just if u weite for em)
Freaking love ur serie 😍
Side Characters Find Out You’re A Girl?!?!?! (NOT CLICKBAIT!!!)
TW: Rollo
Info: Che’nya, Niege, and Rollo x Reader
🍓Thank you! I'm glad people enjoyed this series so much, it was very fun to write. This is the last part I'm afraid, but I hope it is a fitting goodbye to what has been a very long-running series now lol. Excited to move on to other things!
Tags: @kitsun369 @bloomstruck @squidsailing
Che’nya
-Oooooo, Che’nya knows something is up the moment he (creepily) stalks you and the others from the garden.
-His sniffer isn’t as good as Leona’s — he’s just a tomcat, after all — but he can smell that something about you isn’t right.
-Plus, he’s a master of bending the truth, he can see through your lie a mile away.
-Still, he has no reason to bother you about it — he doesn’t even know you.
-He just thinks you’re a little funny that you’d hide something as pointless as this.
-Doesn’t really have confirmation on it until he asks Cater at the tea party.
-Then he later asks Trey who is like ‘Yeahhhhh…’
-Again, he doesn’t really know you, but he does think you’re cute and stuff.
-He sees your around when he sneaks on campus, and he was happy to bump into you at the VDC.
-(He scored your number there, lets go Che’nya).
-Nah, you two don’t really get to interact until Noble Bell College.
-He’s excited to see you again, and really chats you up this time (everyone there thinks its weird, he literally has no reason to talk to you).
-You’re alone with him and Niege and Grim when he drops the bombshell of “A pretty girl like you should be wearing a dress, right?”
-You don’t know if Trey or Cater or even Riddle told him, but you were gonna deck them across the face the second you found out.
-Still, despite him outing you to Niege, he’s really only mildly annoying about it.
-He teases you and picks on you about it, but he’s more like an annoying older brother than a creep.
-He will hang it over your head though, because they way you get all huffy is funny and cute to him.
Neige
-Other than Che’nya— Neige really doesn’t suspect much.
-I mean, look at him and Vil. Feminine men is not his biggest concern.
-He respects you and your pronouns and he’s a real big sweetheart.
-He is… drawn to you, just a little.
-You’re different from the other students, and you managed to make friend with Vil, so excuse him for being a little curious.
-Despie Vil being vehemently against it, you and him exchange numbers and start talking casually.
-It’s pretty normal stuff, and it’s not like you’re talking every day, but you consider each other friends at the very least.
-You’re both very excited to see each other again at Nobel Bell College.
-Neige feels bad that you’re sort of forced to go and babysit, but he gets to see you again!
-You bump into him and Che’nya at the fesitval, and Neige is… notably weirded out by Che’nya’s overt friendliness with you.
-“He’s never this nice with people he doesn’t know — never. It’s so weird.” He tells you.
-You brush off his concerns, and you live to pay for it too.
-You and Neige were just chilling, talking, and hanging out for the first time in person and Che’nya walked over and joined the conversation.
-All is good until he drops the one-liner of a century, leaving both you and Neige in shock.
-You because how did he find out, Neige because oh my god you’re a woman.
-He feels even WORSE for you now.
-I mean, being the only woman at NRC has gotta be awful.
-He doesn’t make a big deal out of it, bless his soul.
-He just shrugs it off and also offers his room as sanctuary on the weekends if you need it.
-He does agree with Che’nya, though, you would look very pretty in a nice flowing ballgown!
Rollo
-Bless this little freaks soul. He is about as sheltered as Malleus and about ten times more evil.
-He, somehow, knows something about you is different from the get-go. Not just your inability for magic, no something more.
-Naturally, he is drawn to you, and evermore curious about you and your life at NRC.
-He, being observant, takes note that you are treated slightly differently by your fellow classmates.
-They are generally more respectful and courteous toward you — gentlemanly in some cases.
-It only makes his interest in you grow. What is it that is so special about you?
-Then he overhears a conversation with Niege and Che’nya, and it all makes so much sense!
-You are a woman, of course you are. No wonder you were so captivating.
-Rollo holds this card close to his chest — he needs not reveal his secrets.
-Malleus is fond of you — as are the other magicians here. That could be useful.
-This information could aid him in his ultimate plan — and he could be your savior from the beasts you live amongst.
-He reveals that he knows your gender in front of everyone at the festival, and takes you captive as his own.
-He is so diluted in thinking that he is your saving grace, and that what he is doing is so right and justified that he can’t hear you curing him out over his own thoughts.
-Obviously, you get saved by your friends and all is well, but now a whole lot of people who shouldn’t know you are a woman do, and Crowley has to do a LOT of PR work lol.
#twst#twisted wonderland#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#x reader#bunni's treats 🧁#che'nya x reader#che'nya twst#rollo flamm#rollo flamme x reader#neige leblanche#neige x reader
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realistic reactions- r. cameron
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a/n: this takes place in a au where the stuff that happens in the show doesn't happen :)
tropes: childhood bestfriends to lovers, enemies to lovers
pairing: rafe cameron x fem! reader, jj maybank x reader (dw, not for long)
(use of Y/n, and the nickname Bunny/ bun (but i promise not in a weird way there's a story to it i swear it's not just one of those weird smut things))
summary: something pushes feelings up to the surface for rafe, yet yours remain unchanged.
warnings: mentions of drugs and drug use and drinking, fighting, cursing, rafe is a dick, rafe's mental health, reader is going through it, mentions of a blowjob, etc.
not entirely proofread
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The next time Rafe saw you, it was in his kitchen. So casually. His kitchen. Talking with Wheezie and Sarah.
“Morning sleepyhead,” Wheezie chuckled. “It’s 5pm, by the way.”
Rafe just scoffed and flipped her his middle finger and she sighed, rejoining your conversation. Rafe listened in, of course. What else did you expect him to do? You were sitting in his kitchen.
“What about Jj?” Sarah smirked. “He’s totally into you.”
Fuck no. Fuck no.
Jj Maybank had been trying to get your attention since Pre-k, and Rafe didn’t like that. He didn’t like it then, and he didn’t like it now. You were not going out with Jj.
“I guess… but he’s like two years younger than me, and he smokes,” you sighed.
“So what? I swear to god if you asked him to stop he would. He’s fucking obsessed with you,” she laughed.
“No way,” you laughed. “Anyways, I wouldn’t want to make him stop something he enjoys just because I don’t like it. That’s not fair.”
That sinking feeling he’d felt all day, the one that made him stay in his room far past his waking up at 11am, made its way to his throat. He was exactly what you didn’t want. He was a prime example of what you didn’t want. You wanted a sweet, normal, good guy. Rafe was an uncontrollable, angry, bad person. He had no chance.
The words fell from his mouth before he even knew what he was saying. “Jj is an asshole,” he scoffed.
“Rafe, did we invite you into this conversation?” Sarah sassed. “And, Jj is our friend, just because you like to uphold the shitty Kook-Pogue rivalry bullshit, doesn’t mean we have to.”
“Fuck off Sarah, I’m trying to warn Bun. He sleeps with anyone,” he turned to you and watched as your face turned from neutral to offended.
“Who says I didn’t just want to sleep with him?” You questioned and Rafe blood started to boil.
“Exactly!” Sarah exclaimed. “You can’t tell her what she can and can’t do.”
“Bun, I know you, you don’t want to date a guy like that-“
“No, Rafe, you don’t know me. You’d know me if you ever responded to me. You’d also know that I hate being called Bunny now, so please stop,” despite your cutting tone, Rafe couldn’t help but smile at your politeness.
But what you’d said. He knew it would come up, he knew you’d ask him why, and to be honest, he didn’t have an answer for you. Some part of him just thought it was hopeless. Even as a 14 year old boy, he knew he wasn’t for you, he knew he wouldn’t be enough for you. He couldn’t be what you deserved.
“Fine,” he smiled sarcastically, shaking the protein shake he’d been making. “See you later, Bunny.”
He heard you scoff as he walked off.
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“Asshole,” Sarah scoffed.
“He’s not that bad,” Wheezie defended.
“He’s not, that’s true,” you agreed, trying to save Rafe and Wheezie’s relationship. Sarah and Rafe were done. You and Rafe were done. Wheezie could still have a good relationship with Rafe. Be cared about by Rafe, like you once were, and if your childhood memories weren’t just romanticised versions of the truth, being cared about by Rafe Cameron was something you wouldn’t trade for the world.
“How can you say that?” Sarah gasped. “After what he did to you?”
“What did he do to you?” Wheezie asked, concern filing her young eyes.
“Sarah, that’s an exaggeration and you know it,” you sighed.
“Really? He stopped talking to you entirely, and then told everyone on this island that you stopped texting him back and convinced everyone else to do the same,” she listed.
You shrugged. “Yeah, he was a dick when he was 15, so what?”
“You cannot just be okay with it all, I’d be pissed!” Sarah argued.
“I’m over it, and I’m over him!” You say finally. You’re over it all, over Rafe.
Sarah finally lets up her arguing, and your girl's day goes back to normal. Then you got two very distracting texts.
RC: I’m sorry Bunny.
JM: You coming over 2night?
And if you’d seen the way those texts were sent, you’d be laughing, very hard.
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RC: I’m sorry Bunny.
“What the fuck do I say?”
“Just text her!” Kelce shouted from across the gym as Rafe stared down at his phone. “Say sorry!”
“Like that’ll cut it?” He hurled back. “I’m the world’s biggest asshole to her-”
“And everyone else,” Topper added and Rafe scowled.
“Thanks, fuckhead,” he groaned. “OK Kelce,” Rafe sighed. Kelce was the only one of them with a long-term girlfriend. “What do I say, verbatim?”
“How about, ‘sorry Bun’, it’s simple. It’s sweet. And it’ll mean you can come spot me now,” Kelce smirked and Rafe sighed typing it out, and handing it to Topper to send.
“You’re really getting me to send it? What are you, twelve?” Topper chuckled. Kelce laughed along while Rafe contemplated letting the bar fall on his friend’s chest, but eventually decided against it.
That was the problem, Rafe felt uncontrolled with you. Venturing into uncharted territories as his feelings, the ones he’d sworn he’d buried years ago, raised to the surface, and punched him in the face. All at once.
You were beautiful, Rafe knew that, anyone who saw you knew that. But what they didn't see was the little girl who Rafe ran to every time. the girl who was there for him, the girl who defended him, the girl who he loved.
Rafe's stomach lurched
Woah. Love? Shit, he was in deep.
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JM: You coming over 2night?
“What the fuck do I say?” Jj screeched as Pope and John B laughed at him. “That isn’t helping things!”
“Just text her you pussy!” John B laughed so hard he fell off his seat.
“Pope,” Jj looked to his smartest friend.
“Ok, ok, give me your phone,” Pope nodded and Jj handed it over, no question. Jj paced the kitchen as Pope typed out a message onto his phone, a thousand thoughts running through his head, almost all of them about you. God, you’d come back and you were even better than he’d remembered. More fun, more carefree, more beautiful. Jj knew he wasn’t the only one who noticed either, Rafe had his eyes on you and he knew it. Jj would have to act fast before Rafe pulled you back into his orbit of asshole-ness. At least, that’s what Jj called it. He knew if he wanted you, he'd have to act fast, and this was part one of his plan. You could never call Jj Maybank unplanned, because he always had something up his sleeve.
“Ok, how about,” Pope started and Jj’s heart dropped when his fake British accent came out. “My fair maiden, would you like to accompany me to-”
Jj snatched the phone out of his hands before he could finish, and both the boys were back in their uncontrollable fits of laughter. “Fuck you guys,” he mumbled, leaving the house, favouring to sit by the water instead. He took a deep breath and typed it out, spending about 10 minutes deliberating on whether to send it now, or just run for the hills and never speak to you again. Eventually, he sent it.
He anxiously awaited your reply.
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You: Sorry J, I have dinner with the Cameron’s 2night. Tomorrow? xxx
3 x’s had to mean something good, right? Like not ‘I’m in love with you, please marry me’ but not ‘you’re disgusting, I’m actively giving Rafe a blowjob fuck off, I love him’.
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RC: I’m sorry Bunny.
Read at 4:12pm
Fuck. He wasn’t just in the doghouse, he was on another fucking continent, and he had no choice but to fucking crawl his way back, and he had to act fast, especially if Jj Maybank was after you.
Dinner was going to be interesting.
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obx masterlist :)
navigation for my blog :) (criminal minds, obx, the bear, marvel, top gun, the hunger games, challengers :)
taglist: (comment to be added :))
@hockeybabe87 @maybankslover @anightlikethisss @linaaaaa654 @ijustwanttoreadlols @ihe4rttwd @sunny1616 @wearemadeofstardust0 @rafeecameronsbitch @drewswifeeee @lovegeorgia
#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron one shot#rafe obx#rafe cameron x reader fluff#rafe imagine#rafe cameron x reader angst#rafe outer banks#rafe x reader
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Hi yes I'm alive sorry for not being around. I kinda lost my job and haven't really figured out what I am doing to do or how I'm going to pay for bills or what the fuck is going to happen But yeah I am here and alive unfortunately. I probably won't answer ask or dms for a while don't really feel the greatest right now and sure as hell don't feel like talking to anyone right now.
Rant time i guess? Getting a job in our current market is hell everything I've applied to just never gets back to me. Its funny because growing up I always told you need college to get a job or be able to do anything in life, man I have friends literally went to some of best colleges and still can't even get job. It just feels like I'm constantly being lied to about everything. Weird how I'll forever be told people like me just don't wanna work yeah man I don't wanna be able to live comfortable pay my bills and be homeless. Let's also not forget the fact jobs will require you have a set amount of experience in a certain area but no job will hire you for that field without experience HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO GET EXPERIENCE THEN DUDE? Then a week before all of the job thing family member sits us all day and tells us they have cancer. This fucking disease has taken so many family members from me. I lost my grandma what will be a year ago in January I was starting to just come to terms with everything and feel somewhat okay. I will never truly get over her death but I feel like that is normal. I've had so many family members taken from me just from cancer alone this stuff runs in my family I believe and coming to that realization fucking sucks because I just want to help them, but there isn't anything I can do. I truly don't know what to do or what to think anymore.
Writing this really late into the morning and i'm going to schedule the post sometime not sure when
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Undertaker wants to Court you! ~(Headcanons)~
Can’t wait for the public school arc who’s with me?!
this dude is so silly 🗿 enjoy some hcs of this ridiculous little man
Undertaker is funny. He uses that to his advantage when courting. Well, it actually depends on what type of humor you have- most of his are usually those jokes that are kinda funny but at the same time your like ‘That’s outta pocket! 🤦♀️😑😂’ yk?
he always wants to hear jokes. He asks you randomly and no matter what type he laughs at them. Rude humor? Hilarious! Dad jokes? That one really tickled his fancy! 😂 why did the chicken cross the road?? To get to the other side? 🤣🤣💥
now usually I feel he has a specific sense of humor but with you everything’s just kinda funny. It’s that moment when your with someone who you can laugh at the most unfunniest stuff ever and still be cackling at it anyway 😭💕
he’s always telling them as well. Might I say, at the worst times 😏 you just watched someone run over a stray animal? Oh he’s got a joke for that hear him out- LIKE BRO 😭⁉️
HES THE TYPE OF GUY WHO MAKE YOU LAUGH BEFORE EVEN TELLING YOU THE JOKE BECAUSE YOU KNOW ITS GONNA BE STUPID 👍
Let’s also talk about hiiiis…! weird side! (I’m saying ‘side’ like he’s isn’t always weird..) This is pretty much him just being a creep? Ish? Like that scene where he was in the barrel licking salt…🤨 or how he’s always in coffins (which tbh seems more normal for a grim reaper but still..) either way this dudes’ real weird and he doesn’t tone it down, even around you despite the fact that it may or may not (you decide) push you away
He’s a very mysterious dude, so how ever you met him I guarantee it was eerie and somewhat strange. Therefore you were likely intrigued by him, so when you went on your first date it was, well, very interesting! There’s so many layers to unravel with this guy! Ngl even now you’ve only semi unraveled this incomprehensible man but at the least you do learn more as you get to know him :P
his past is….complicated is an understatement- gimme a new word.
literally no one but him knows his full past all the way up to this very day. Looks like no one has stuck around long enough! Since you will I guess you’ll be the first to figure it out! ;)
now I’ll say this, he won’t sit down and just tell you everything, no. That won’t be any fun! 😄 you’ll have to have the intelligent to sit down and decode it piece by piece with the tidbits of information he gives you randomly. Yes! It’s going to be comical seeing you try and put this whole thing-a-ba-jig together! (^_−)−☆ 🤣
his nonjudgmental yet opinionated personality is scary if you don’t like folk who come off too strong. Or if your sensitive- 😄 he’s a ‘tell-it-like-it-is-and-I-don’t-give-a-ship’ type of guy. Buuuut! If your similar to him in that sense you’ll probably understand him a lot more. Him being nonjudgemental is perfect for peeps of all types so that’s a plus!! 💗
ranting about his fascination with humans during your dates comes with the package! ☝️He just does, it’s always one of his topics, and ngl it’s nothing boring either, he’s got quite a few stories to tell with even more jokes in between, which is sure to make for a lovely date <3 plus at some point all species in black butler experienced being a human, and idk about y’all but the study of human nature, psychology and how the brain works is a very interesting thing for me! I’d definitely be able to keep a conversation like that up for some time, me personally.
He puts up a front of a funny weird guy when there’s more to him if you read between the lines. Which, don’t get me wrong that certainly is a part of the real him, he just makes sure to highlight it so you don’t look at the rest 😃👌
he’s a real creepy fellow..even towards you 😭 (on purpose) and whether he’s trying to court you or not there’s no escaping it- if it starts to push you away he’ll find a way to incorporate laughter into it to make it more appealing, but no, he won’t change his ways 😭
WHY DOESN’T HE WASH HIS HAIRRRR
(yes it’s canon 😞)
you force him to wash his hair 😘💋 pls he needs it. or at least do it with him so it’s more fun. It’ll probably be easier to convince him that way
Time to talk about his work as a grim reaper!!! :3 (retired anyway) if you are reaper you get to follow each other around doing tasks! human? You both go your separate ways to work, whatever that may be. A demon? The same as a human really! Just this time you might have a contract with somebody. Buttttt!! A perk of all three is getting to work in the funeral parlor with him ;3 it’s a good disguise if your a demon/reaper and also some good quality time for you and your reaper 😘 (i mean, I hope you don’t mind morbid stuff cuz he’s a mortician after all 😅)
his little Russian roulette with the phantomhives 🕺 (LOL) no seriously I have no clue what type of relationship he has with them besides the fact that he serves them for the price of top notch laughter 🧑🍳💋 but you might! I’d say he’s more willing to let you in then anyone if he’s trying to court you! That obviously means he wants to trust you with his heart! So yeah! You likely know a thing or two—more about Ciel than Vincent but any info will do at this point 😭 it’s a start right? 🤷♀️
whenever Ciel comes over you get to witness him or Sebastian try to make undertaker laugh, it’s not like they can kick you out, you work there! Perks 😏 You can pretty much tell the one time Ciel made him laugh himself it was just a whole bunch of tomfoolery 😂 (why did it take so long⁉️😭) Sebastian is also able to make undertaker laugh really hard immediately so I wonder what he does 🤪 guess you’ll get to see! 😋
undertaker opening up to you is a process that requires patience. And don’t be pushy!! I mean this for your sake, by the way. You’ll drive yourself crazy since you’ll never get an answer that’s not riddles or straight up jokes. 🤦♀️🤷♀️
yeah overall his way of courting is really strange but when it comes to making things official he’s poetically blunt. The type of blunt where you have to process for a second like ‘wait what does that mean- oh. OH-’
Anyway I’m gonna talk about the actual dates now cuz I’ve pretty much just been mentioning the madness that comes with it this entire time :3 and yes as I said that’s a way of courting to him. He’s weird and blunt but doesn’t wanna do things the traditional way. So getting you involved in his antics is his way of saying ‘hey i like ya and I want ya to stick around’. And jokes. HAHAHAH 😂
dates with undertaker normally consists of tea, jokes, human psychology and gossip 🗿 ever since I saw ciel in wonderland I couldn’t get over the fact that undertaker was at a tea party and now I headcanons him to like tea LOLOLOL! I mean I know that’s how the plot goes in the actual slice movie and he was just playing the role of the character but, think about it—don’t it kinda fit???? Like?? Okok Hear me out hear me out- imagine sipping on some tea with Undertaker and gossiping on the latest drama from the underworld, ‘I heard a rare case is happening where blah blah blah *giggle* *giggle* chatter chatter..’ ETC! like idk how to explain it but do you see the vision???
I can also see him doing that dramatic anime thing where they sip they’re drink majestically then say something intelligent sounding (☝️🤓) (about psychology, for him) as the wind blows 😂😂 YK? LOLL even worse if your in a outside background and his eyes shows (cuz the character who never shows they’re eyes always show them when they get serious 🤣)
i love how shameless this guy is
why don’t we know this guys’ real name⁉️ Can’t even give him a nickname because ‘undertaker’ isn’t nickname material!! What am I supposed to call him???? Taker’ ⁉️😭🗿
ENJOY @doudouma HERE’S YOUR SURPRISE~ 🤗
#anime#anime and manga#luffyvace#anime headcanons#fluff headcanons#fluff#black butler x reader#black butler#black butler x y/n#black butler x you#kuroshitsuji#yana toboso#black butler season 4#black butler undertaker#undertaker kuroshitsuji#undertaker black butler#undertaker x reader#black butler public school arc#undertaker#undertaker x you#cute headcanons#cute prompts#fluffy prompts#fluffy
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Niko!! what'd you think of I saw the tv glow. I finally saw it last night and noticed you posting about it so I wanted to know your thoughts :)
Levi!!! I was JUST wondering what you were thinking about the movie after I saw you posting about it as well... we are so media discussion pilled in this way, it's awesome. ANYWAYS I've had so many thoughts since I first saw it and I've been trying to turn them into something coherent for a little bit now.
Ummm okay I have written 1k+ words about this movie, the suburbs, and escapism via teen TV.... clearly I was dying for somebody to ask this I guess so thank you for indulging me <3
First and foremost, I absolutely loved it! I've seen it twice now and the first time I watched it I got to see Jane Schoenbrun talk about the film right after. I already really liked it from that first watch alone. I found it so deeply relatable to my experiences - both in terms of growing up gay and trans, but where I am now in my 20s trying to navigate adulthood. Hearing what Schoenbrun had to say really cemented my feelings and thoughts about the film.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer was a big influence on the movie (it's why Amber Benson makes a cameo as Johnny Link's mom). Even though I don't have the same emotional link to Buffy since I never watched it, I recognize it as the same type of warmth I experienced growing up with Riverdale. When Owen says he feels like his insides have been scooped out but that he's too afraid to look and have that wrongness everybody knows is there be confirmed, Maddy simply responds "Maybe you're like Isabel. Afraid of what's inside you." Tears forming but not falling, breathing shallowly, I grabbed the paper and pen the theater keeps at the seats for people to order food with and wrote that line down - the slip of paper is still somewhere in my car. Writing it now almost feels lame in its simplicity, but it felt like my insides were being flayed open.
During the director discussion, Schoenbrun talked a little bit about this idea of how truly fucking bizarre it is to grow up in the suburbs. Like, when we think about the pinnacle of normality in American culture, it's the image of middle-class cis-hetero-white suburbia. At the same time, despite this cultural dream of normality, everybody is hyper-aware that the suburbs are one of the least normal things ever. So, the ACTUAL cultural understanding of it is that it's where we go to, like, passively kill ourselves (*George Costanza voice* WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY YOU KNOW!). This idea isn't new, I mean there are so many films and shows about navigating that specific bizarre dissonance from Rebel Without a Cause to Heathers to Twin Peaks. Probably half the pre-teen to teen TV I watched obsessively growing up, stuff like Strange Days at Blake Holsey High, Making Fiends, Truth or Scare, and eventually Riverdale, were never shy about being weird and morbid and saying "yes, the suburbs are exactly as bizarre and lethal in the ways you can already feel in your bones at 13." I Saw the TV Glow does a really good job of keying not only into that mental dissonance but more specifically into how those of us who have felt so intrinsically weird and different and wrong fell back on these shows like they were capable of doing the emotional version of a rescue breath maneuver after being drowned.
In high school, if there were two things about me that any person who even vaguely knew me could list off it was that I watched Riverdale, and I was a lesbian - and I was mocked more for the Riverdale. At that age, I was, without a doubt, the most miserable I have ever felt in my life. I rarely left the house because my family lived in a development that made me want to scratch my skin off when I walked out our front door. Owen didn't leave the house for days, afraid Maddy could somehow force him out. I sobbed constantly and frequently to depressing indie rock on the floor of my closet while hoping my family would just once read the (honest to god) KEEP OUT poster plastered on my door since I didn't have a lock on it. Owen didn't leave his room for days, afraid of what Maddy recognized in him. I didn't go on dates and kept my chest binder shoved to the bottom of my bookbag while wearing dresses that could've come from a how-to-be the perfect 50s housewife manual. Owen didn't leave his bed for days, afraid of Maddy touching his neck and Isabel's dress. I also watched Riverdale with the kind of zeal you see in a Pentecostal who has found God and started speaking in tongues to let you know it. I own a button that says, "Don't Make Me Go Dark Betty On You," I cherish it in a way that is only achieved by knowing exactly how corny and trite it is and then moving straight past that because well actually, and most people wouldn't get this, she's holding back something deeply dark and wild and- and disgusting. something painful yet intrinsically her. but i get it, obviously. or maybe not obviously! hopefully not obviously, but- basically, I'm just saying I get it: the experience of reflection and recognition through the other and all that.
Whatever, the point is that this movie is one big glaring trans allegory about how it sucks dog shit to live in the suburbs, and even at our most repressed we find these little snow globes of actualization in the glow of a tv screen that isn't afraid to show you the world you see. I've seen some people say that, like, in this context accepting or coming into your transness is this monumental death of self, which I get, but I feel there lacks a nuance in that because either way Owen is dying. Unlike Maddy who buries herself alive only to come out renewed, Owen doesn't kill himself upon facing the reality that the world is constructed to keep him miserable and the only way out is to take back what it is that the world wants to keep scooped out of him. Instead he just passively lets it drag him to a much more permanent death. This lack of suicide sucks in the kind of way that forces you to sit in your car on the midnight drive home and think to yourself am I letting myself suffocate because at some point knowing the misery became less scary than admitting I've been capable of doing something about it the whole time?
Clearly, I’ve been enchanted by the film’s narrative and meta-textual language. If you're familiar with it, you can see how Schoenbrun built this movie like a long-form dream episode of a canceled teen show filmed in Vancouver. Lynchian? Yeah, sure. Riverdalesque? THIS we cannot possibly deny. Schoenbrun said they included Amber Benson as an act of healing the inner rage experienced at Tara’s death in Buffy. This is a Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa ending Riverdale with a bisexual polycule after his gay Archie play got ceased-and-desisted type move. There’s probably more I could say about the soundtrack and the visuals, but I’ve hit over 1k words on this, so I’ll leave it at I enjoyed this movie a lot. :)
Maddy is an out lesbian who left town to escape the misery and found it strapped to her ankles. She slinks out, an animal pressed against the gymnasium floor, and says "I'm not telling you anything you don't already know." Owen looks into the camera and narrates. He cuts himself open with a box cutter, fully acknowledges what's there, and the movie ends with his suffocating apology parade for the unremarkable inconvenience of his excruciating suffering. You can be gay and trans, you can know it and you can stop repressing it, but you're not going to stop suffocating until you can find a way to destroy the part of you that truly deeply does want to die, reaching for the comforting euthanasia of normalcy. Stop visiting the dream of the life you want and make it into your reality with the same kind of unrepentant conviction seen in some underfunded but wildly ambitious teen television series. In other words: you must try to survive the ego death of being weird. A weirdo, who doesn't fit in and doesn't want to fit in!
#i saw the tv glow#riverdale#< the sister tag to me talking about this movie at this rate...#i saw the tv glow spoilers#asks
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Top 10 Best BLs on Gagaoolala
My Beautiful Man AKA Utsukushii Kare
Japan 2021
One of the most Japanese BLs to release in the last decade, as weird and as messed up as any 2000s yaoi: emo af and hella warped, entirely true to itself with no attempt made to modify its POV for modern sensibilities or current BL fandom. It used seriously old school problematic and kinky tropes, like whipping boy, for a truly uncompromising piece that also manages to hit up themes of communication, consent, and self acceptance. It’s a wonderful BL but uniquely dirty and harsh, in the best possible way - Japanese cinema, uncompromising.
I lost my ever loving mind over the ending. This show won the Grand Prix “My Best TV Award” at the 16th Galaxy Awards.
Minato's Laundromat AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry
Japan 2022
A classic age gap romance where a high school student pursues the man of his dreams (who runs a laundromat). This BL is so steeped in yaoi nostalgia, not to mention a classic romance arc, that it will overload some, but those of us who love this genre for its DNA will adore it. It made me very happy because it did everything I want a BL to do - there’s not much more I could ask of a show than this. It’s the closest Japan has come to perfect live action yaoi since Seven Days (and I never make that comparison lightly).
Squee watch-along here.
My Ride
Thai 2022
Thai BL grew up with this pulp (the first ever to make my end of year top 10). It’s a truly lovely and special little show featuring the extremely rare pairing of sunshine/sunshine (AKA a cinnamon roll couple) plus mature explorations of relationships using one of the softest, sweetest, and most innocent friends to lovers vehicles. Kindly, overworked doctor meets broken-hearted motorcycle taxi driver in an “other side of the tracks” slow burn romance. The support cast is excellent, making for great friendship groups and family dynamics. With honest queer rep that adds to, but doesn’t impede, the story, and genuine conversation about the nature of class, wealth, and classism, not to mention communication, honesty, and respect for boundaries, you can’t go wrong with this show. In other news, I am a sucker for a single dimple.
Takara & Amagi AKA Takara-kun to Amagi-kun
Japan 2022 I gnawed on my knuckles and squealed a lot with this BL. Reserved cool kid who must learn to communicate to keep the tiny disaster nugget he’s madly in love with. It is beyond charming: soft and gentle, packed with cuteness and high school angst, thirst, & yearning. Was there plot? Not really. Was it emotionally tense and paced well enough for me not to notice? Absolutely. Did I enjoy the hell out of it? Oh yes.
Kiseki: Dear to Me
Taiwan 2023
The plot is totally ridiculous and slightly unhinged, but that’s normal for Taiwan. It involves all the tropes under a very casual framework of gay mafia gangs + food = love. Absolutely every character is queer. There’s a gum-ball machine of cameos, elder gay rep, great chemistry from all pairs, and a KILLER side couple. As a result Kiseki is a poster child for Taiwanese BL, and I happen to love Taiwanese BL. Bonus? They also managed to END IT WELL, which we cannot expect from Taiwan.
My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho
Japan 2023
This style of live action yaoi really only works from Japan. Basically: boys who fell in love in college end up living together but both are so repressed they actually don't realize they're in love. It's higher heat than we usually get from Japan's HEA stuff, and that part is also very well done, but it leaned into the "why don't they just talk for fuck's sake?" trope which is only exacerbated into undiluted frustration by the fact that they're already fucking. It's great, but watching requires more patience than usual, even for Japan.
Our Dining Table AKA Bokura no Shokutaku
Japan 2023
A lonely salaryman and talented cook gets accidentally adopted by a college kid and his little brother. I was always gonna love this show if they stuck to the manga (which is very dear to my heart). And they did, paralleling it almost exactly. It’s a quiet & cozy little parable of found family alleviating loneliness. Possibly too slow for some but definitely high up there for me as the best of what Japan can do with softness (like Restart After Come Back Home). It’s only flaw (if I dare say such a thing) is that it is not really “romantic.” Lovely & sweet but the romance beats are being used to build a family relationship, not just couple intimacy, but that's OK with me. This is a very safe show for anyone to watch.
Step By Step
Thai 2023
This was Thailand’s answer to The New Employee, and everything I loved about that show I loved about this one. This office romance between a stern boss and sweet subordinate felt more authentic to cubical work than previous Thai BLs of this ilk. That authenticity added tension to the narrative and its characters development (how novel). I also really enjoyed the charming side characters and the brothers' relationship to each other (although I could have done without that brother's side BL).
Long Time No See
Korea (Strongberry) 2017
Catfishing assassins on either side of a turf war who fall in love not knowing they are on opposite sides. Or do they? Suspenseful plot, good fight sequences, mature characters, hot sexitimes and even hotter beating the shit out of each other and kissing while covered in blog (this came from KOREA?), plus an HEA. One of the hidden gems of the BL genre.
About Youth
Taiwan 2022
A truly lovely little coming of age high school BL with a classic YA low drama but high angst and an earnest depth. I didn’t even mind the singing, and that’s saying a lot. A weak seme/uke dynamic but tons of BL tropes (both rare in a high school setting but common for Taiwan) makes this one feel both sweet and colored by real world authenticity and grit.
Some of these shows ALSO appeared on Viki or iQIYI, but these BLs will appear only once on these round up posts (here for Gaga), not on the other platforms top 10.
(source)
This list updated Spring 2024, not responsible for cool stuff that aired on Gaga (or was taken off the platform) after that date.
This is part of a series more here:
#best bls on gagaoolala#top 10 bls list#gagaoolala#bl recomendation list#recomendations by platform#japanese bl#live action yaoi#taiwanese bl#thai bl#My Beautiful Man#Utsukushii Kare#Minato's Laundromat#Minato Shouji Coin Laundry#my ride the series#Takara & Amagi#Takara-kun to Amagi-kun#kiseki: dear to me#My Personal Weatherman#Taikan Yoho#Our Dining Table#Bokura no Shokutaku#Step By Step the series#Long Time No See#strongberry#korean bl#About Youth the series
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smut writing tips (TW: sexual stuff cause like. Cmon. It’s smut)
I did one for character so now I’m doing one for smut what’s wrong with smut huh so what if I’m writing tips on how to make smut so what SO WHAT HUH
Smut scenes aren’t that different from normal scenes. Probably because they’re normal scenes. Remember that.
Therefore, they should have dialogueeee because boy oh boy the amount of smut I have read where they are just dead silent is insane I could rebuild the wall of china with allat
so… dirty talk
BUT DONT MAKE IT TOO LONG! OR TOO WEIRD…
“Do you think they’d watch?” he asks. “Do you think they’d enjoy the sight of your naked flesh on display? Maybe they would get off on seeing your dripping pussy reflected back at them everywhere they look. Or the pretty flush on your chest when you come. I think they’d even enjoy watching your eyes roll to the back of your head when my cock fills you so fully, you can’t fit any more of me inside you.”
That’s from haunting Adeline… and… just.. no. NONONONO ITS DISGUSTING ITS GROSS…. WHO TF SAYS THAT BRO. Why is tHIS BOOK SO POPuLAR
more gross examples: “You want to know what I’d do?” he questions. “I would let them watch. I would let them watch me claim you as mine and own every inch of your body. They would watch my cock fill every one of your holes and then watch you cry because of how hard you came. And then I’d fucking kill them. My cock would still be wet from your cum as I’d slice their throats for even daring to look at what’s mine.”
dont write like that guys… like ew. Just ew
also.. epithets.. ok idk what they’re called because English = not my first language but
like
”his member” “sword” “love button” “seed” “her peaks/ nubs”
look my dude if you can read a smut scene like “he inserted his sword inside her cavern and spewed his seed inside her while fondling her mounds” then sure pop off I guess but tbh
no.
JUST USE COCK DICK AND PUSSY OR SOMETHING IDK WHY U GOTTA DO THIS TO ME I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO SEE CERTAIN THINGS THE SAME WAY EVER AGAIN
“his member” I’m sorry is his dick joining a club?
anywaysysystst
research human body stuff. Like, dicks need to recharge before they get hard again yk
“Recharge” idk bro yk what I mean
cumming more than once for women do be kinda painful unless there’s an amount of time in between the orgasms
like depends on the woman, can range from a couple of hours to at least a whole day
although this doesn’t apply to everyone and some people do just go for it a bunch of times in one session so it’s a very variable thing
so yeah! Make sure to educate urself on biology
spemd more time talking about how they feel physically and emotionally than what they are doing so that the scene actually does have some depth
consistency! I have read shit that goes along the lines of “he grabbed her waist then with his other hand stroked her cheek and then she wrapped her legs around his feet and he pressed his elbow againts her knee flipping her upside down while she nibbled on his ear” how am I supposed to imagine any of that
they keep sprouting a third arm
or do things that completely contradict the position that they are in.. he can’t slap ur ass if ur in the cowgirl position..well, not very comfortably
so. Consistency! :)
that’s all for now ermmmm so yah tell me if this was helpful guys
edit: this post is super old pls ignore its existence
#writing advice#writing#creative writing#smut writing#smut writing tips#Writing smut#smut advice#writing tips#how to write#writing scenarios#writing smut#Writing sex#HEAVENLYRAIN’S WRITING TIPS
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omg for the prompts hs au and "— “can i hold your hand? is that weird to ask?”" would be TOO cute
Thank you so much for the prompt! 💖 Just a short drabble this time, but I hope it will bring us all a little positivity. Giggly 15-year-olds galore! I might post this on AO3 later.
Edit: posted on AO3
An upbeat pop song echoes through the cavernous hall of the supermarket as Gale follows Bucky from aisle to aisle. For a Saturday morning, it’s rather busy, but Gale doesn’t mind. It gives him an excuse to walk closer to Bucky and let their arms brush sometimes, their thick coats catching on each other. If only it wasn’t the middle of winter! Then, maybe, he would've been able to touch Bucky's skin too. He probably runs hot, Gale imagines. Would his skin be really soft? What would it taste like if Gale kissed it? What would it smell like?
Technically, this is their third date. Although Gale isn’t quite sure if shopping for snacks together is a date, it's just the two of them and he’s having fun, so he’s going to count it. And who knows, maybe Bucky means to ask him to come over after this? Or they could just go hang out at the mall again, where they first kissed. It’s still hard to believe that it happened. Only a week ago, and yet it feels as though Gale's entire world shifted on its axis. He has a boyfriend now!
A boyfriend who's sweet and kind and funny like he always hoped for. Someone who likes spending time with him and talking to him, and who cares what he thinks about stuff, unlike his parents. The fact that Bucky is so cute to boot blows Gale's mind every day. In the past seven days, he found himself daydreaming several times a day, thinking about all the kisses they've shared - eight now! - and wanting to pinch himself. It’s almost too good to be true.
"Check this out." Bucky snickers suddenly and stops by a random shelf piled with cheap, weird hats. He pulls one out of the pile and puts it on, covering his lovely brown curls with a green beanie - a beanie that, apparently, has a knit beard attachment. Bright orange.
"Handsome." Gale giggles. Bucky's blue eyes twinkle with joy when they meet his. He can feel his face heat up, but he can’t stop smiling, even as Bucky steals Gale's very normal and boring beanie, ruffles his messy blond hair and tries to put a beard beanie on him too.
"Come on, Buck, try it on."
"No, thank you!" Gale protests through a laugh, pushing Bucky's hands away and scuffling with him playfully until a man passing by gives them a dirty look. It hits Gale like a blast of icy wind. Makes something inside him clench tight. Whenever an older man disapproves of him, he feels like he wants to disappear.
Bucky seems to sense the shift in Gale's mood because he tosses the ridiculous hats back on the shelf and rubs the back of his neck.
"Sorry." He says awkwardly. His ears and the pale skin of his cheeks turn bright red.
"No, it’s -" Gale bites his lip, unsure how to say he kinda looked like my dad. He ends up tilting his head and giving Bucky a tentative, lopsided smile. "You said you wanted Skittles?"
"Right! Can’t forget the Skittles." Bucky grins at him in a burst of blinding joy. He skips forward, turning to walk backwards for a moment, with Gale's beanie still captive in his hand. "Favourite flavor?"
Gale rolls his eyes as he follows him. "They all taste the same."
Bucky stops and lets Gale walk close enough to him that their coats almost brush, this time face to face. He and Gale are almost the same height, so all it would take Gale to kiss him is to tilt his chin forward. But he’s not brave enough to do that just yet, so he just watches Bucky's eyes until he can’t keep a straight face anymore and bursts into a quiet laugh.
Grinning, Bucky holds up Gale's beanie and presses it to Gale's chest. "You can get it back if you tell me the answer."
Gale looks away to the side, then up at the ceiling before he finally finds the self-control to return his gaze to Bucky's. He has been smiling so much that his cheeks are starting to hurt. "Green." He says eventually.
Bucky's smile widens, his eyes crinkling. Instead of giving Gale the hat like Gale expects, he puts it on Gale’s head himself, then slips his hands down to Gale's burning cheeks. Before either of them can really think it through, he swoops in and presses a quick peck to Gale's lips.
Nine, Gale's mind sings giddily as Bucky pulls away and starts walking again.
Something about the way Bucky has just kissed him in public without hesitation makes Gale want to be brave too. He falls into step next to Bucky and moves his shaky fingers until they touch Bucky's own.
"Can I hold your hand?" He asks through the rush of excitement, then cringes immediately. What is he, five? Fuck, he should have just gone for it, shouldn't he? Now it's all awkward. Did he mess it all up? He glances up at Bucky’s surprised face. "Is that weird to ask?"
Bucky blinks, then laughs. It's not like his usual mischievous chuckle or the horse laughs he and Curt share sometimes - this is a quick exhale of joy, pure and child-like. He grabs Gale's hand with his own, holds it in his warm grip and swings their linked hands between them as they keep walking.
"No, it’s not weird." He squeezes Gale's fingers. Gale can already feel the dampness of sweat gathering between their palms, but he doesn’t care. The supermarket might as well be heaven for how he feels. "You don’t have to ask though."
He gives Gale a glance from the corner of his eye. "I'm your boyfriend after all."
"True." Gale smiles at his boots. There are so many butterflies in his stomach that if he wasn’t holding Bucky's hand, he might float away. "What’s your favourite Skittle flavor?"
"Red." Bucky replies immediately. His thumb starts play-fighting with Gale's. "I think it’s strawberry... The sweeter, the better, you know?"
Gale nods. When Bucky winks at him, it’s like flying.
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