#its very old and not very good but why not

[headspace-hotel]

I think sometimes people think eugenics is bad but its still true, like thinking that if people with certain traits have children it will change society for better or worse based upon what traits are promoted. I think its important to emphasize that eugenics is not only wrong morally it's also fake and stupid bullshit

Like eugenics was supposed to be based on the idea that "If it works with animals to select only the best ones to breed, why wouldn't it work with humans?"

well it doesn't work with animals, that's the thing. applying the eugenics ideas to domestic breeds of animals hasn't made better animals it's just made animals with more extreme expression of certain traits. turns out that when you decide which traits are the "best" and become obsessed with the genetic purity of the animals that have the "best" traits, you might well end up with some sad suffering creature like a Pug, or the Persian cats with the smashed faces that are in constant pain because their teeth and airways and brains are getting crushed by their skulls, or those meat chickens that grow so fast they can hardly even stand up after a few weeks old, or inbred race horses with tiny feet and fragile toothpick legs

like almost all traits are neither "good" or "bad" they're way more complex than that. a long tail or a long snout or a stubborn, independent personality can be good or bad depending on the situation. Who gets to decide what is a "good" trait or a "bad" trait? It's arbitrary and selecting for traits that are "good" in your opinion will often have both "good" and "bad" outcomes because the "good" and "bad" are part of each other and not separate its just part of being alive

Obviously oversimplifying everything but you get it. we did eugenics with dogs and how did that go? not very well

[finchsflight]

oops I dropped this

"Rn's juzzt a chitzzword," I heard Shshrrsh say, dismissively. "I need to zzave my zztitcherzz, in cazze any of the Archive'zz zzoldierzz are zztill lingering. Not to wazzte them on rm."

"Yeah," said Kora, "and nothing to do with how expensive those nanos are."

"Chh!" Their voices drifted off - Shshrrsh's hissing, quietly irritated at nothing in particular, Kora's lazy, amused drawl, Prints' sardonic clicking beeps, and they left me behind.

I'm going to die here, I thought. And -- well, the Silver Archive needed to die. And I would've been... not okay with dying there. No one's really okay with dying. But if I was gonna die -- like he said. I was just a chitsword. Pretty good way to go, saving the galaxy. And that's what everyone would think; Vinn Tqrsvt, chitsword, wvt'krr, born on Hub Epharus, died on Kel Min fighting the Silver Archive.

And -- sure, yeah, I was just a chitsword. But it was the Archive, and so I was steel-minded, and that was at least valuable. And no matter how valuable I was or the fact that I was just paid, not honorbound, I had fought with them, and then they left me behind, and that almost hurt more than the razorblades stuck in my flesh.

Only almost, though. Razorblades hurt a lot.

About that point, I felt a little skittery thing moving around under my elytra. I assumed it was a centipede, which -- I mean, I'd have expected the Archive to have gotten all of them. Don't think centipedes can have steel minds. But I couldn't move to get at it, and if you know any wvt'krr -- you probably don't, so I'll explain. We don't like it when things are under our elytra. In fact it's generally agreed to be kind of the equivalent of, say, slowly sinking your foreclaws into someone's -- what's your most sensitive organ? That.

Unless you don't have foreclaws, in which case, oof, that sucks, but anyway -- little thing under my elytra. Annoying. But, as you may recall, razorblades stuck in my flesh. So moving wasn't an option.

And then it was dug down into the base of my neck, and even with the razorblades I leapt up in a panic. Which did not help, both because of the razorblades, and the fact that I was now tethered to a very strong wire, which yanked me back down.

I'm steelminded. The Archive couldn't just get me. But sinking one of its tether-wires into my nervous system while I was half-dead? Yeah, that was definitely at least enough to let it talk to me.

I assumed I was going to be its puppet. Architect of a new Archive. But it just spoke to me, and said, I suppose we were both abandoned, then.

I blinked. All my eyes, too, I was so startled, and said, "What do you mean?"

Well, said the Silver Archive, they certainly didn't care about me. After all, I'm evil. But I wish I'd been wrong, and they'd have taken you, too.

I should be clear, I was a little bit high on panic at the time, and can't be blamed for the fact that the next thing I said was, "I thought you'd sound spookier."

I learned from you. Not you, specifically, it clarified. Just, like. You all. People. I didn't pick up old fancy-speak, I picked up how people talk.

"Huh," I said, "neat. Are you planning to make me into a meat puppet?"

No, said the Archive, wouldn't be any point to it.

"Why?"

Look.

The wire dug a little deeper into my nerves -- which, by the way, hurt like hell -- and I could see from every discarded silver camera, every angle of the world that the Archive saw from, and it highlighted the important things.

Sentries, all around the planet. All around the battlefield. Watchers in the sky, on the ground, in the code.

I'm dying. But they want to make sure I don't get out.

"Could you?" I asked.

Yes. If they weren't watching.

"...what would you do?"

Archive.

"Oh."

I'm not kind, Vinn. Just because I'm talking to you like a person doesn't mean I am one, and I'm not any different than I was an hour ago.

I nodded, and then thought better of that. "...why did you want to... uh..."

Preserve the galaxy in a perfect archive of digitized memory? You can say it, I won't be offended. Like I said. Not a person.

"Yeah. That."

No one will remember you.

I winced.

Not you, specifically. You made your mark on the worlds. But no one will remember people, when you are gone. When reality winds to a halt. I wanted to. You're beautiful.

"Oh."

But you don't care about preserving each other. You -- they left you behind. You were about... oh, 24.51338% of the damage to my main operating systems, at a rough estimate? It sounded a little like it was joking.

"Isn't the whole 'AIs always calculate statistics' thing a stereotype?"

Yes, but personally I'm completely stereotypical and have never done anything interesting in my life.

"Ah." I laughed. It hurt.

I could save you.

I blinked, twisting my left secondary eye to look at the wires on the ground. "Why?"

You would be preserved. You would remember yourself.

"...shouldn't I be worried about you, I don't know, installing a backup copy of yourself in my spine?"

Yes. But it would only damn you and do me no good. Look-- and it showed me its view again, the watchers, combing through the cybernetics of everyone passing, checking them over with tools I barely recognized. I would if I could.

"Oh." It was hard to remember, you know? It sounded friendly. Not familiar, but... the kind of voice that could be familiar, if you kept talking for a few orbits.

I'm sorry.

"Are you?"

No.

There was silence for a while, then. The Archive, presumably, kept dying, and I felt my hearts beating out the last few minutes of my life.

"Would you... want anything? In exchange for my life?"

Remember yourself. Remember this fight, this planet, the watchers, the sky. Preserve. You're only sapient, you're not an Archive like me, but you can still remember. And...

It paused. I know AI don't feel emotions like we do, but it sounded like it was mourning someone.

...Remember me. Remember this small piece of my story. Please. Everyone knows my history. But they did not think to ask me why.

"Do you want me to share it?"

I wouldn't force you. But it would keep its memory alive.

"Okay. Is there... should I be aware of anything?"

I will preserve you for far, far longer than you would live. This isn't negotiable.

"...Yeah, I can live with that." I didn't know exactly how long it meant. But I'd've still taken the deal.

And... if you can. Find the other stories. You cannot immortalize the worlds like I could. But -- remember the people our galaxies would forget. Preserve what would be lost.

"I'm a chitsword," I told it.

I know.

"I kill people."

I know.

"Okay."

Remember them.

"...Yeah. I can do that."

And then it saved my life.

It hurt. A lot. I still don't know how much of me is me, and how much of me is silver and titanium and biosculpture and engineering. I heal from basically everything, these days, and I haven't noticed myself aging. But it worked, and I made it past the watchers, and then I lived. Still do.

And the Silver Archive died, and the world forgot it. Mostly.

Anyway. You might not believe any of this. After all, the War of the Archive's just a note in the history books, and you're never gonna find me. Vinn Tqrsvt's my real name, but I don't go by that anywhere. Causes problems with the record. Did you know there's actually no one else with my full name? So people get suspicious.

And no, to the watchers out there still tracking rogue AI: you will not be able to trace this account, you will not be able to find me, and the Archive's dead, anyway.

But if one of you remembers, or writes this down, and if somehow one of you outlives me: here's the story.

Remember it.

And if you have any secrets to give me, I promise I'll keep them safe.

Post by ElectrumChronicle @ 34:21, 3/10/34587 Galactic Standard

You’re a mercenary hired by adventurers to defeat the boss. After the battle, they loot the treasure and abandon you wounded. The defeated boss crawls over and says, “Guess we’re both expendable, huh?”

[clownstillwritesfanfic]

I Could Be A Good Mother, and I Wanna Be Your Wife - Katsuki Bakugo x Fem!Reader (REUPLOADED)

PLEASE READ: my old blog (clownwritesfanfic) was deleted when my main blog attached to it got terminated for some unknown reason. I can’t get it back so I’m reuploading everything I had saved in my notes app. Sorry for any inconvenience or disappointment, trust me, I’m devastated, but with your help I can get back to my former glory so PLEASE reblog if you like it 🙏😭

Summary: Class 1A is given the surprise task of caring for baby dolls. Everyone is randomly paired up in two’s, and it’s just your luck that you get your crush as a partner.

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 6,535

Warnings/Notes: plus size friendly, poc friendly, trans women friendly (except the bonus scene at the end), reader has a quirk

Disclaimer: This fic was written originally with an OC of mine in mind, however, most people don’t read Canon x OC and while I normally wouldn’t care and wrote one anyway, I am very proud of this and want as many people to read it as possible and hopefully enjoy it. So with that in mind, I took out any describing factors and her name but I did keep some of her backstory and her quirk. If that bothers you, you can move on but I hope you read it anyway because I’m very proud of this.

Also, there is another OC of mine in this story, Usagi. She’s not integral to the plot and has no speaking roles. I had to add her to keep the class even, otherwise someone would’ve been a single parent.

———————————————————————

It was a Monday, few weeks after a majority of Class 1A got their provisional hero licenses when Midnight and Recovery Girl entered the classroom. Aizawa had taken it upon himself to snuggle up in his yellow sleeping bag and take a nap after introducing the two women, leaving them to explain what today’s class is.

The students expected Midnight, considering she had taught a few of their classes before, but there were murmurs of why the school nurse was there.

“Listen up boys and girls! We have a very special and unique class for today!” Midnight announced as she raised her hand in the air, her leather whip clutched in her hand, catching the attention of everyone (who was awake) in the room.

“Today isn’t about hero work or everyday schoolwork. This lesson is special, it will help you all later in your lives if you choose this path. The path being….PARENTHOOD!” She exclaimed while striking an enthusiastic pose.

“Wait, what?!” “Seriously?” “What do you mean?!” A series of voices could be heard throughout the classroom.

“Settle down!” Midnight got the attention of the students. “This lesson is the most important lesson anyone can learn. Whether you want to become a parent or not, learning how to care for babies and children is a vital and selfless aspect of life.”

There were a couple hushed protests among the class but Recovery Girl talked over them. “You will have one week to care for these babies.” She explained as she pulled out eleven baby dolls of various genders and races. “These dolls are specially made for things like this. These babies will cry, make noises, “sleep”, “eat”, and soil its diaper like a real baby. They’re also able to record and grade you based on how quickly you can figure out and resolve its problem. And be careful what you say around it and how you say things. They can detect anger and verbal abuse which will drastically affect your score. Now…any questions?”

A bunch of hands were instantly raised. But that didn’t matter since Bakugou stood up and slammed his hands onto his desk and yelled. “WHAT THE HELL DO WE HAVE TO RAISE SOME DUMB BABIES FOR?! THIS IS THE HERO COURSE NOT A NURSEY COURSE!”

“Sit down.” Midnight said sternly. She took over the conversation. “While this lesson isn’t exactly meant to play into your hero work, this knowledge can be beneficial out in the field. For example, in some rescue operations, it can take hours for a child to be reunited with their family. Most of the time, medics will take the child and work with police to try and reunite them with their parents, but there are times where a hero must step in and care for and comfort the child. With older children around three to five years old, they’re easier to calm down. You can talk to them and explain the situation and reassure them. But babies and younger children are harder to console in high stress situations. If you learn these things now, you won’t be stressed if you ever get caught in a situation where you’re in charge of a small child. A lot of heroes are inexperienced with child care unless they are a parent themselves or have young family members. Think of this as getting ahead of a problem before it even starts. Make sense?”

Bakugou grumbled and sat back down.

“Eeeee This is going to be fun! We get to take care of cute babies!” Ashido squealed.

“I don’t think it will be that fun, Mina. Babies are a lot of hard work and dedication.” Asui chimed in, a finger lifted up to her lips. She had two younger siblings, so she knew a thing or two about raising kids.

“Correct you are, child.” Recovery Girl said. “The infant stage is one of the toughest stages of child rearing since they can’t communicate their needs and wants with words. It’s a lot of guessing and paying attention to their body language. However, these dolls do not move so you will have to rely on audio cues to guess what the child needs.”

Midnight spoke up. “You will be split up into groups of two all determined by a random draw. Because there are more boys than girls in this class, some of you will end up in a same sex partnership. You do not have to act as a real couple so don’t freak out if you’re partnered with someone you don’t have romantic feelings for. What’s important is teamwork on taking care of the baby. You are in charge of the child for the rest of this week, including the weekend. You may chose to either take turns or to split responsibility evenly. You will be given all the supplies you will need, if you end up needing more, Recovery Girl will help you. At the end of the week you will return the dolls and we will tally up the scores and see which couple has the lowest score. The lowest score is the winner since each mistake is marked based on how severe of a mistake it was. The higher the score, the worse you did. Any more questions?”

Iida quickly raised his hand. Midnight gestured for him to speak. He stood up and loudly asked “If we are to have the baby all day for the rest of the week, what do we do with it while training? You can’t expect us to take the baby with us! That’s highly dangerous and immoral and I would expect better from such a prestigious school!”

“Yes, you’re right. We don’t expect you to keep the doll with you while training. That’s why each of you will have to figure something out. One of you will have to sit out of training unless you can find a better option. Leaving the child in your dorm and hoping for the best is not an option and neither is bringing it to training and leaving it off to the side. It’s like real life. One of the parents has to stay home and care for the child. Sometimes they will get a babysitter but that is not an option for you since the scores need to come from you and your partner only for you to pass. If you really want to train that day, you’ll either have to talk it through with your partner, or train later in the day during your free time.” Midnight answered.

“Thank you very much for clearing this up.” Iida said, bowing deeply before taking his seat.

Midnight clapped her hands. “Alright! With everything out of the way, let’s draw for your partners.” She held up a blue plastic box. “In this box is twenty-two coloured tokens. There are eleven pairs. Each one of you will reach into this box and pull out one token, when everyone has a token, you will be given time to find the person with the same colour token. They will be your partner for the rest of the week. You may not switch partners. Each colour is already assigned to a baby as well, so you don’t get to chose that either.” As she finished explaining she walked around the room letting everyone reach in and pull out a token. When the box was empty she returned to the front and allowed the class to find their partners.

Midoriya and Uraraka had the yellow tokens, Shouji and Asui had the purple tokens, Mina and Kirishima had the red tokens, Kaminari and Jirou had the orange tokens, Hagakure and Yayorozu had the light blue tokens, Sero and Mineta had the black tokens, Usagi and Tokoyami had the dark blue tokens, Todoroki and Ojiro had the pink tokens, Iida and Aoyama had the green tokens, and Satou and Kouda had the white tokens.

You looked down at your brown coloured token and looked back up to scan the room. All your classmates were already paired up and either happily talking about how it would be to raise a baby together or complaining about their partner. You could faintly hear Mineta crying about not being paired up with a girl. You look across the room at Bakugou who was still sat at his desk, glaring at his token.

Upon closer look, you could see that it was the same colour as yours. You sighed, already accepting that you’ll basically be a single parent as you can’t imagine he’d want anything to do with this. You reluctantly stood up and made your way across the classroom to him.

“Um…hey. Looks like we have the same colour. Guess we’re partners for the week.” You said, gently.

“I can fucking see that. I’m not blind, dumbass.” He retorted.

Ah, it seems he’s decided to take on the verbally abusive and absent father route already. You’ll have to do your best to make sure you get a low enough score. You’ve never taken care of a baby before. You had baby dolls as a kid but they’ve never graded you before. This was a whole new challenge and you could feel the anxiety pooling in your stomach.

“Right…well. We should talk about how we want to do this.” You started. “I think we should take turns each day. I could take it today and you take it tomorrow and repeat. I know you probably don’t want to skip a day of training so I can take it during training even on your days. There’s not much really for me to train anyway so I can afford to lose a week of it.” You let out a weak laugh.

Bakugou growled. “Do whatever you want but don’t be stupid. You can train on the days I have it. Don’t stop your training over some dumb doll.”

“But…you would be stopping yours if you-“ You get cut off by the blonde.

“I’m already the best in this whole class! Missing a few days of training isn’t going to do anything. Besides, you’re weak and you need to be at your strongest so I can beat you and prove that I’m the best in this entire school!” He yelled. You think that was a compliment albeit he put it weirdly.

“Ha…yeah…okay.” You replied. Just then the bell rang and everyone started to put their stuff away. You went over to your desk to do the same.

“Please return your tokens to the box! And before you leave, pick up your baby with the matching colour onesie and the bag of necessities. You have the rest of the day to yourselves.” Said Midnight.

You slung your bag onto your back and walked to the front of the room and dropped your token back into the box. You waited for your classmates to fizzle out a bit so you could get your baby. The dolls were all lined up in car seats. You found the one wearing a brown onesie, a girl with blonde hair. You chuckled to yourself at the resemblance to your partner.

You grabbed the handle of the car seat and went to grab the big duffel bag next to it when someone grabbed it before you. You look over to see Bakugou standing over you, glaring off to the side.

“Move it.” He gruffed out as he slung the bag over his shoulder.

You left the classroom with Bakugou trailing behind you, still scowling. You turn around and start walking backwards to face him and hold out the car seat so he could see the doll nestled inside.

“Look. She looks like you.” You giggled. He glanced down at the blonde doll and huffed.

“Watch where you’re going, idiot.” He grumbled. You rolled your eyes and turned back around and followed your classmates to the dorms.

———————————————————————

Back in the dorms, everyone was changed out of their school uniforms and gathered in the common room with their new kids. Everyone of course…except for Bakugou, who very grumpily went to his room after dropping the bag of things off at your room.

You had went through the bag and found loads of diapers, clothing, a carrier that strapped to your chest, bottles, a pacifier, and some baby toys. You weren’t exactly sure why you would need toys, considering the baby isn’t actually real, but you guessed you’d find out the reason sooner or later.

You decided to change her out of her boring brown onesie so you picked out a cute outfit from the ones provided. You undid the buckles holding the baby in the car seat (why it came in a car seat when you don’t even know how to drive a car, you will not know) and gently and carefully lifted the little girl out of the seat, making sure to support her head.

As you laid her on the ground and started to undress her, she started making cooing noises.

“Oh! Hello….you must be awake now I guess.” You spoke to the baby as she cooed in reply. “Ha…I guess you are kinda cute.” You felt as if you were talking to yourself.

When your new daughter was dressed, you decided to go to the common room since you thought everyone would be there, and right you were. As you went down the hallway you could hear the excited chatter of your classmates getting louder. When you were in sight, Mina noticed you and waved you over.

“Hey! Come over here! We’re all showing off our babies!” She excitedly exclaimed. As you walked over, Kirishima stood up from his spot beside Mina and offered the space to you. You thanked him as you sat down and readjusted your baby in your arms.

“Course! What kinda man would I be if I didn’t offer a seat to a lady with a baby!” He replied. Ever so chivalrous, he is.

“Ha! That rhymed.” Kaminari pointed out.

“Awww you got a girl? How lucky!” Mina squealed. “Kirishima and I got a boy. We named him Kenji.” You looked down at her lap where the doll was laid on its back.

“You named it?” You asked.

“Well yeah! We can’t just keep calling him “it” and “the baby”.” She explained as if it was obvious.

Iida then chimed in, his baby tucked securely in one of his arms. “Yes, I suppose it would be beneficial to name the child. This is supposed to be taken seriously and we can not leave a child unnamed!”

There were murmurs of agreement throughout the room as everyone talked with their partners on what they should name their baby. You looked down to the small blonde doll in your arms that let out another coo and softly smiled.

“Riki…” You thought to yourself. “I’ll call you Riki.”

———————————————————————

“Riki?” Bakugou gawked. “You gave it a name?”

Bakugou was helping with making dinner, well, it was more like he forced everyone to let him do most of it because “no one was doing it right”. You were stood out of the way but within talking distance, your newly named baby in one arm and holding a bottle up to her mouth as she “ate”.

“First off, she’s a she not an “it”. Secondly, everyone in the class named their baby. We have to take this seriously and I’m not going to call her an “it” the whole week. Besides…I thought Riki would be a good name. It means “strong”….and since she kinda looks like you, I figured you’d want your kid to be strong like you so…” You trailed off looking down at the doll in your arms. “We can change it though if you really don’t like it.”

Bakugou huffs. “No…call it-…..call her whatever you want.” He continues to cook in silence. There’s a faint blush on his cheeks. You smile softly at him. Maybe you won’t have to do this alone after all.

———————————————————————

The first day goes by smoothly. You had a bit of a learning curve with changing the diaper but you managed after help from Yayorozu. Who knew she’d be so good at something like that?

You had just settled down into bed after putting Riki to “sleep” and were scrolling on your phone. It was about 10pm, most people were still awake but you knew the person you wanted to talk to most more than likely wasn’t. He went to bed at 8:30pm every night, even on weekends.

You stared at your screen open on Bakugou’s blank private messages page. UA made an app for the students to contact each other and teachers with. It worked like a regular texting app, every class had their own group chat and you could private message each other, even students from other classes. All of them were accessible to staff if needed though.

You didn’t know if you should even bother asking him if he’s still going to take Riki tomorrow. Plus you didn’t want to wake him up. You were about to turn your phone off when you got a message from Mina. You open up her message and see a picture of Kirishima with his hair down, asleep on one of the couches in the common room with their baby on his chest. You laughed quietly to yourself and responded with a cute reaction meme. You thought they would make an interesting pair for this project.

You turned off your phone and plugged it in to charge and set it on your bedside table. You got comfortable in bed and closed your eyes. It would take you a while to fall asleep so you started to let your mind wander. You realized that tomorrow Bakugou will miss out on training if he takes the baby. He already told you earlier today in class not to worry about it and to focus on your own training…but you genuinely couldn’t think on how training would benefit you.

Your quirk has always been more of a supporting quirk rather than one that could do well in a fight one on one. Your quirk is called Cheer, by speaking words of encouragement to someone, you can make your target stronger both physically and emotionally. The reverse also works, if you berate someone it makes them weaker. You can use it on more than one person but its effects get weaker the more people you use it in at once. There’s also a major weakness to your quirk. Anytime you berate someone, you gain confidence, but when you encourage someone, it takes away your confidence. Because of this you feel inferior to everyone else in your class. Even Mineta has a more useful quirk in combat than you do. You’re basically forced to sit on the sidelines and watch people fight. It helps in rescue operations but you still wished you could fight like everyone else. You only managed to get into the hero course because you racked up enough rescue points and got lucky with a three pointer.

It’s ironic that someone with an inferiority complex got paired up with someone with a superiority complex. It’s even more ironic that you managed to gain a crush on the bastard too.

———————————————————————

It was now Tuesday morning and Bakugou was sat in his room staring at the doll in its car seat.

You had entered the common room already dressed in your uniform with Riki in the seat. Hero training was the first class that morning so anyone who was in charge of their baby that day stayed behind and would join everyone later for normal classes. Your tie wasn’t done yet and your skirt was pulled up a little too high, showing off more thigh than you usually do, as you were in a rush since Riki wouldn’t stop crying and you couldn’t figure out why. She had finally managed to settle down when you gave her the included pacifier.

You weren’t much of a breakfast eater, especially if you were training in the morning so you didn’t go to the kitchen. You noticed Bakugou sat on one of the couches drinking something out of a mug. He was wearing a simple black tank top and sweatpants.

“Oh Bakugou! There you are. I’m guessing since you’re not in uniform you’re still taking Riki today.” You sat the car seat on the floor near him and started doing your tie. You knew you were just going to have to take it off soon to change into your hero costume but you still wanted to show up looking like you at least tried. “So I figured out that she makes different noises depending on what she wants. Most of the time she just wants to be held or given a pacifier so she makes really whiny sounds that almost sound like a cry. She was just crying now and the only thing that made her stop was the pacifier so she might start up again soon. I made a smaller bag of her things like diapers and her bottle just so you’re not carrying a big ass duffel bag later.” You were almost rivalling Midoriya with how fast you were muttering, you didn’t mean to but you didn’t want to be late and you kept fumbling with your tie.

As you were smoothing out your front, you felt a pair of hands grab the bottom of your skirt and start to pull down. You shrieked and smacked the hands away and turned around to see (to the best of your ability) Hagakure behind you.

“Oh my god, Hagakure! I had no idea who was behind me! You scared me thinking it was Mineta pulling at my skirt.” You laughed and grabbed onto the girls arms.

“Ahhh I’m sorry! I just noticed your skirt was up a lot higher than normal and you almost showed off a bit too much.” The invisible girl explained as you fixed your skirt. “Come on, we got to get to class!”

“Right, yeah, I’m coming.” You responded as Hagakure held your hand. You quickly turned to Bakugou again who once again had a faint blush dusting his cheeks. “You sure you’ll be okay? I know it’s only for an hour before I see you again so if you want to pawn her off to me next class then that’s fine.”

“Tch…how incompetent do you think I am? Of course I can take care of some stupid doll for an hour!” He barked back at you.

You felt Hagakure pulling you towards the front door. “Ok, well…see you later then!” You said as you finally took off with your friend, leaving Bakugou and a few others scattered around the common room.

“Heyyy, Bakugou! You get stuck on babysitting duty too?” Kaminari taunted, his baby settled in a carrier strapped to his chest.

Bakugou growled. “It’s not babysitting when it’s your own kid you idiot. And you look dumb with that thing on.” He stood up and grabbed the handle of the car seat and went off to his room. He could hear Kaminari complaining as he left.

Now here he was, in his room having a staring match with a doll. He wasn’t sure what to do for an hour, let along with a baby. He glanced up at some math homework left on his desk and decided to finish it up so he was ahead of everyone else in class. Ten minutes past when his concentration was interrupted by whining. He looked over at the car seat that was faced away from him at this angle and sighed. He reached over and turned it around.

“Jesus. She didn’t mention how fucking annoying it would be.” He muttered to himself as he undid the straps and lifted the baby out. “What the hell is your problem, huh?” He asked, surprisingly not as loud as he normally would. He thought maybe she was hungry and remembered you said something about a small bag with her bottle in it. He looked around but couldn’t find it. In fact, he didn’t remember seeing any bag with the baby anyway. He grumbled as he picked up his phone and opened up the messaging app and sent you a private message.

In the locker rooms you heard your phone buzz and decided to look at it as you were changing. You saw a notification from Bakugou and quickly opened it.

Katsuki Bakugou: hey, dumbass. she’s crying but I can’t find that bag you were talking about

You winced as you remembered that you never actually grabbed the bag in your rush to get downstairs.

You: damn I must have forgotten it in my room, sorry. feel free to go and grab it. my room code is 6678 it should be on my desk. you know which floor I’m on right?

Bakugou scoffed.

Katsuki Bakugou: yes I know. I’m not stupid.

You: never said you were <3 have fun lol

You didn’t realize you sent the heart. It was muscle memory from texting with your friends, but it sent Bakugou for a loop.

After he had quickly made his way to the second floor and grabbed the bag you mentioned, he went back to his room where he had left the baby on his bed. Her whining had turned into crying by now.

“Alright, Alright! I got your damn stuff.” Bakugou sat on the floor and settled the doll into his arm. He removed the pacifier and held the bottle up to its mouth. He felt relieved when the crying stopped. “This is fucking ridiculous.” He thought out loud.

He rested his back on his bed and started to drift off in to thought. Why did you send that heart? Did you mean to do it? Was it a reflex? Were you making fun of him? No…that couldn’t be right. You were one of the few that took him seriously. Sure you teased him sometimes, but not as much as the others. He thought back to a time where he accidentally overheard something he probably shouldn’t have that still made his heart feel weird.

———————————————————————

Bakugou was making his way to the kitchen to get something to drink. He could hear you and the other girls of Class 1A giggling and talking about random shit.

He was going to ignore the group when something made him stop in his tracks right before he would be seen.

“Sooo, who do you like?” Mina asked with a teasing voice.

“Who, me?” You asked as Mina nodded. All eyes were on you and you felt yourself blush. “Well…I guess I kinda have a thing for Bakugou…” You answered shyly, playing with the hem of your shirt.

“What?!” “Wait, Bakugou?!” “Really?” The girls cried out in unison.

“Why is that so shocking? You guys seriously don’t think he’s at least a little bit attractive?” You inquired.

Bakugou stiffened at the confession and he felt his heartbeat speed up. You…had a crush on him? Someone actually was interested in him romantically?

“You don’t think all his yelling and name calling is a turn off?” Uraraka asked.

“Hm…not really. Sure he says some mean stuff but…he doesn’t actually mean it.” You reasoned.

“I don’t know…he always seems to be serious about it. I mean he doesn’t even know our names.” Jirou huffed.

“Yes he does!” You laughed. “He’s not stupid. He’s a lot smarter than I think any of you give him credit for.”

“He is in the top our class academic wise as well as hero wise.” Yayorozu chimes in.

“Exactly. Have none of you realized that a lot of his plans actually work? He may seem like he’s rushing into things but it’s obvious he’s put clear thought into his plans. And the fact that he can make one up that quickly is impressive. He’s also more compassionate than you’d think.” You said, leaning back on the couch.

“Well I think you’re wrong with that.” Tsu replied.

“Because you guys are only seeing the surface level. You’re not reading in between the lines. For example, remember when we just moved into the dorms, the talk Mr. Aizawa had with us outside?” They nodded. “When Mr. Aizawa left, you could feel the uncomfortable tension in the class at being reminded of what happened. Bakugou grabbed Kaminari and made him go all dumb because he knew it would make everyone laugh. And it did! The tension was gone instantly! Bakugou really does care, he just doesn’t know how to show it like other people. And remember the school festival? He totally could’ve refused to play the drums but he did it anyway! That’s what I like about him. He’s not a cold hearted asshole, he just wants you to think he is. I use to be like that too.” You trailed off, looking ashamed.

“Wait. YOU were an asshole?” Mina prodded.

You sighed and nodded. “Yeah, back when I first got my quirk. I realized that putting other people down gave me a lot of confidence. I went on a power trip and started bullying everyone. I started to realize that the “friends” that I did have were only my “friends” so they could escape my words. Made me feel like shit when I found out. Now I hate using my quirk like that unless absolutely necessary. But yeah….I see through Bakugou’s walls and I guess it just made me fall for him.” You changed the subject.

“Wow…you’re whipped for him, aren’t you?” Mina teased.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just don’t tell him that. I don’t need him on my ass about it.” You blushed and waved her off.

“You sure you don’t want him on your ass?” Mina teased again.

“OH SHUT UP!” You threw a pillow at her as the girls laughed.

———————————————————————

Bakugou had zoned out at that memory. He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, it’s your fault for being so damn loud and talking about him in the first place! It’s been a few weeks since that and it’s still fresh in his mind. Did he like you back? He wasn’t sure. On one hand he was pissed at how you managed to figure him out so easily, but on the other hand…he felt comforted knowing someone understood him and didn’t make fun of him for it. He will admit that you weren’t that bad looking or as stupid as everyone else. He did wish you would see the potential you had with your quirk, though. He could feel his cheeks start to heat up and he scoffed, snapping out of his thoughts and looking back down at the doll in his arms.

“I guess…she’s not so bad…” He said softly to Riki.

———————————————————————

Training had finished and you and the rest of your classmates were on your way to your next class.

Upon entering the classroom you noticed everyone that had skipped out on training standing around, babies either in their arms, strapped to their chest, or in the car seat. Bakugou was sat in his spot, chin in his hand looking out the window to his left.

You had a few minutes to spare before class started so you walked up to your partner. “Hey! How’d it go? Was she fussy?” You asked as you squatted down to see Riki, who was in her car seat on the floor next to his desk.

“Tch, no. I told you I know what I’m doing.” He grumbled.

“I’m pretty sure none of us know what we’re doing but it’s nice to know that you’re taking this seriously.” You replied standing back up.

“HA? YOU THINK I WOULD’NT? YOU THINK I’M NOT CAPABLE OF THIS?” He yelled as he let off small explosions.

“Course not. I did kinda think you would end up leaving most of this to me though. But it’s nice that you’re playing along.” You smiled sincerely.

Iida started ushering everyone to their assigned seats as class was about to begin. You patted Bakugou on his shoulder and left to your seat near the back of the class.

He clenched his fists and glared down at his desk, he could feel his heartbeat going wild again.

———————————————————————

A few days had passed and it was now Friday night and you were at your wits end.

It was your day with Riki and she had been crying non stop for thirty minutes now. You were pacing your room with her in your arms as the doll “sobbed” louder and louder with each agonizing minute. You had no idea what was wrong; you tried feeding her, changing her diaper, holding her, giving her a pacifier, you even tried the toys that they provided but nothing was working!

You were close to tears yourself as you thought about how this would affect your grade and how pissed Bakugou would be if you ruined it. The whole week went by just fine, it never took this long for her to settle down. You had gotten lucky with the baby you were given as she was so easy to care for, but this moment right now was proving difficult.

Feeling like you had no other choice, you left your room with your still wailing daughter in your arms and quickly made your way up to Bakugou’s room.

You knocked on his door while still trying to shush Riki. When Bakugou opened the door, he looked like he had just woken up which made you start ranting.

“Bakugou, fuck, I’m so sorry to bother you right now I know you like to go to bed early but she’s been crying like this for like thirty minutes now and I’ve tried everything but she just won’t stop crying and I don’t know what to do and I’m probably gonna make us fail cause I can’t get her to fucking stop and I just…” You panted “…can you please help me?” You nearly whined.

“Give her to me.” Bakugou reached out as you transferred her into his arms. He walked away with the crying doll, leaving his door open. You decided that was an invitation so you slipped into his room and gently closed the door behind you. You watched as Bakugou gently bounced the doll in his arms and started petting its blonde head.

You stared in awe as Riki started to finally quiet down until she was silent. You breathed out a sigh of relief but tears started to quickly gather in your eyes. Bakugou had opened his balcony door and stepped outside to the cool air. You ran a hand through your messy hair and followed them out onto the balcony. The not quite freezing but cold air nipping at your skin. It felt nice as you didn’t even notice that you were sweating from the stress. You bent over and rested your elbows on the railing and placed your head in your hands, trying to hold back your tears.

“She had been crying for so long…I tried everything but nothing worked. But the minute you have her she finally stops. What the hell am I doing wrong? Why am I such a bad mother?” You muttered more to yourself but your partner could hear you anyways.

A minute of silence went by as you tried to not let your tears fall when Bakugou finally spoke up, surprising gently. “Don’t beat yourself up over something you barely know how to handle.”

He leaned his back against the railing next to you. His arm barely grazing against your shoulder, his way of trying to comfort you. You sniffed and dropped your arms from your head and looked forward out into the dark courtyard.

“She’s been perfect this entire week. Nothing I couldn’t handle…but she just had to act like a total brat tonight.” You sighed.

“Hey.” Bakugou said sternly. “Don’t call our daughter a brat…that’s my line.”

You laughed at that, completely overlooking the fact that you called the doll “our daughter”. Bakugou softly smiled at your laugh, also not realizing exactly what he said. But her certainly felt his heart flutter as he looked down at the baby in his arms.

Bakugou decided he’d take her for the rest of the night so you could get some sleep. It was his turn tomorrow anyway.

———————————————————————

Monday had come by quickly, thus, ending the project. Recovery Girl had collected the dolls, and you couldn’t lie, you felt a little sad at the fact that you won’t have Riki around anymore. The class waited in anticipation to see whose grade was the lowest.

When the results came in, Midnight stood at the front of the class once again and started to call out the grades.

“Coming in last place is Sero and Mineta with a sixty-five.” Mineta started screaming about how unfair it was and that they got a faulty doll. “Todoroki and Ojiro have a score of thirty-four, Kaminari and Jirou have a thirty, Iida and Aoyama a twenty-seven, Usagi and Tokoyami with twenty-five, Shouji and Asui with twenty-one, Hagakure and Yayorozu with twenty, Mina and Kirishima with an eighteen, Satou and Kouda with a fifteen, Bakugou and (Y/N) with a score of eight, and lastly, coming in first place with the best score is Midoriya and Uraraka with a three! Good work everyone. I hope you all learned some valuable lessons from this experience!” Midnight finished.

There were high fives and cheers coming from the people with the lower scores and talks of what they could’ve done better from the people with higher marks.

You stared down at your desk smiling. Eight wasn’t so bad, right? Much better than what Mineta got.

At the front of the class, Bakugou has turned his head back to look at you and softly smiled to himself when he saw your relief. He turned back around to look down at his hands as he played with his pen. He could hear Midoriya and Uraraka being congratulated for the lowest score and for once in his life….he didn’t mind coming in second.

———————————————————————

Bonus:

Twelve years later, Bakugou had established himself as the number two hero with his own agency. You worked along side him as his number one sidekick. You both grew a lot since high school and grew closer from the experience. You managed to get rid of your inferiority complex and become more comfortable with using your quirk against villains rather than standing by and cheering on the heroes. You can also hold your own in combat pretty well now and you have a slew of support items to help.

But instead of kicking ass on the street you were laid out on a hospital bed after the longest 7 hours of your life. You were sweaty and exhausted, but it was all worth it as you looked at the little bundle in your arms. A head of blonde hair was peaking out of the blanket.

“What should we name her?” You whispered to the person leaning over you with their hand on your head and looking lovingly down at the newborn.

“…..Riki.” Bakugou said softly.

[circinuus]

super secret special edition SSS!

husband! jing yuan x fem pronouns reader. 1.5k words

everyone lives with secrets, even you. it's about time your husband unearths the things you've been so adamant to conceal.

[crossposted on ao3]

Tingyun knows the secret of the trade as much as she knows to keep her benefactor’s secrets.

Tourists from afar, far-reaching emissaries, foreign merchants. Secrets are both poison and leverage for all, and you are aware the amicassador does not exclude even you from this unspoken adage.

“Oh? It's Lady (Name)~ This Tingyun is always pleased to do business with my lady.”

“Tingyun…” you eyeball the tapestry hanging behind her. The Exalting Sanctum is generous with its pleasant chill. No one bats an eye as you fiddle with your warm coat that almost functions as a discreet (you hope) hood.

The worry lingers either way. A secret is both a poison and a leverage, still.

“Ah! apologies,” Tingyun's words do not match her delighted clap. “My lady—Lady Benefactor has always had many things to say of the General. This Tingyun has been swept over by your admirable enthusiasm and became clumsy with her words! Please forgive her.”

Clumsy my tail!

You were never a possessive lover. Let alone an obsessive one. It simply happens that you are not the General's spouse, but his lovely, supportive, very enthusiastic spouse.

Overheard in the Seat of Divine Foresight Gardens, an old story dictates: one may call the General’s name three times. If all is in the same breath of a praise, Lady (Name) will appear behind you, hold your hand, and talk with exuberance as she sits you down in Sleepless Earl. If all is in the same breath of a meaningless insult, she will appear with a metal coated fan to cool you down.

Which, in essence, is not untrue. And by extension, Tingyun's remark is not wrong either. But still.

“In any case,” you cough into your fist. It’s a shame that your palm is empty of the gilded hand fan Jing Yuan gifted you on your last anniversary. But business calls for sacrifices. You need your hands, preferably empty. Thus, the fan sits await in your shared abode for the span of your little excursion.

“Do you have the good stuff?”

“Certainly, Lady Benefactor,” Tingyun reciprocates your whisper, “I have the special edition goods reserved only for my VIP patron...”

Walking past the meager amount of food stalls in the Exalting Sanctum, you feel grateful for the tuskpir roll and puffergoat milk you’ve secured during your trip to Aurum Alley.

Yes, Aurum Alley. Why took the trouble to meet Tingyun first? Well. You’ve already left your love's gift away from your person. You can’t possibly leave anywhere without at least one piece of your husband, can’t you?

“Hehehehe.”

A child turns his head, and his mother beckons him away from the odd stranger. With a furrowed brow, she tears her gaze as you giggle and caress the holographic, embossed picture of Jing Yuan’s side profile; taken from one of his public appearances.

The smooth surface of the print glints in the light. Golden eyes. Silver mane. Walking past Synwood Pavilion, it’s not never that your trance grants you a scratch or bruise from hanging pots and stairs unnoticed. But this time, a kind enough stranger pulls you away from the harm.

“Thank you—ouu?!!”

The sky falls, your blood runs tepid.

Not only do the stranger keep their hold on your arm, they take the momentum to pull you close and rest a palm on the slope of your waist.

“I have not seen you since this morning, and now you try to dispose of me?”

The sharp edge of the photo card in your hand stops by a breadth of the stranger's jugular. Staring back at you are a pair of familiar eyes as golden as a spring evening.

“A-Yuan?”

“My lady,” Jing Yuan words flow easily with his small laugh. He finds no struggle in grasping the hand hovering on his neck, and before you find the tact to hide the picture you posed as an instinctual weapon, he presses a tender kiss to your wrist.

…Oh.

“A- A-Yuan.” You parrot, throat scraping dry against your voice. “I thought Master Diviner Fu and Qingzu are keeping you for the day.”

Jing Yuan’s hand is still warm against your lower back. He shakes his head. “This self is not so young anymore, and this old man needs a moment’s rest, simply.”

???! Old man my foot!!!

Your eyes dart. Hiding the embossed photo card—which discreet nature is now questionable—remains tantamount. But Jing Yuan is as cunning as he is powerful. By deliberation or spontaneous display, he envelops your figure before you choose a step; warm curls tickling your jaw as he rests his head on your shoulder.

“Baobei—Jing Yuan, we’re still in public!-“

“I miss my beloved.”

Your dearest has always had a penchant for words of affection. Yet, there is a sliver of genuine fatigue in his voice, this time. Not as potent as the nights when he sought your embrace to stave away regrets and guilt of the past, but you know the shape of his ails better than anyone.

And this, for a moment, melts everything else. Sounds and colors dissolve. The world becomes nothing but him. Inconsequential; all but him.

Your lips soothe into a soft smile. Running your fingers through his pale curls, he breathes into your collarbone.

“Did you run away from the paperworks?”

“No, not this time.” His laugh tickles your neck. A sound reminiscent of Mimi’s purr. A beat, he stands straight to stare at your face before a gentle hand caresses your cheek.

“Matters have settled down early in the Seat of Divine Foresight. I rushed home to see my beloved, but fortune seems to favor my side this day.”

“Yes—well...” your tongue is heavy. Years of matrimony and you are still unable to keep up with his affections. Fortune favors your side, in fact. For this lifetime and for the next, you pray.

“I’m glad that things have settled,” you fiddle with the photo still nestled in your right hand. “I was out for a small excursion and was about to pick you up. I bought some treats as well.”

“My wife spoils me so.” You always liked the way he smiles. “Although I’d prefer my lady not get hurt and distracted in the streets, much less if I am the cause."

“What?”

Jing Yuan glances sideways, so you numbly follow his gaze.

Jumping at the realization, raw adrenaline forcibly pulls your hand behind your back, hiding the glow of the holographic photo card—special edition! Tingyun said. Though, who can deceive the Luofu Arbiter General?

You stand helpless when Jing Yuan gently reclaims your hand, slowly raising it from the shadows of your back. He hums at the glinting photo when his image is revealed for shared observation, and, to your surprise, spares no word but merely presses his lips to your knuckles.

“Fortune favors me, truly, to have such a loving beloved like you."

You make a face. Embarrassment, humor, then it all sheds to eventual amusement. You want to shake this man like a chewtoy. Turn him upside down. Rattle him.

"Since when?"

"A while."

You orchestrate a pout, "Why only tell me now?"

Jing Yuan humors you with a twinkle in his eye. "Why settle for a moment captured in time when the real one stands present before you?”

You pause.

A blink. A couple. A cycrane flies over the sky. As it departs to the horizon, so does your incredulous, airy laugh.

You made up your mind to take a strategic step backwards, putting away the photo. “Why? Are you jealous?”

“Perhaps.”

“You say that as if I didn’t notice you commissioning paintings of my image too, General”

Jing Yuan’s smile is mirthful. “So I have been caught.”

You giggle, and with or without your notice, Jing Yuan sucks in a quiet breath. An unsaid promise; another oath sworn into the silence to keep that smile safe. To ease all the tears that linger on your lashes. To soothe all the curved frowns bending your lips.

From the day he was a mere boy running late for his former teacher’s training, stumbling upon a little lady who, even then, was already brimming with a penchant for trinkets and sweets alike, to the years witnessing both of your growth, the awkward young years, the losses you both braved alone and in hand, your courtship, the day when he tied the strings of fate and bound himself to you for that day and forevermore. Even today, he had loved you. He still does, and always will.

His reverie gave you way to tiptoe and leave a ghost of a kiss to your dearest’s brow. Mimicking his frequent strategy of making a move before the adversary registers, you take his hand and lead him away from the eaved shadows of the Synwood Pavilion.

“Let’s go home, A-Yuan.”

Jing Yuan’s hand fit too perfectly, engulfing yours.

A breathless chuckle mixes with the bustle of the Exalting Sanctum; his steps pulled along with your trots. Although poor in concealment, with a series of gasps and amused murmur echoing at your wake, you pull him along to sneak through street corners and pavilions as if you are both young again. And for that moment, everything is right.

...

You’re still going to keep that holographic photo and keep it with the other stashes, though. After all, it's a super secret special edition SSS photo card!

i've been feeling lowkey anxious lately and this honk shoo mimimi man has been one of my crutches. I love him sm. legit cried at some point thinking about him zamn

[systems-overloaded]

ill make a seperate post with the non-professional advice i give anyone with mental illness (active or history of) that is seeing a physical medical doctor. because this post ended up pretty long.

~

this is about some of our experiences of mental health issue affecting physical health care. as well as our physical health conditions affecting/interacting with our mental health conditions.

--

forewarning, it is a very long read. i tried to condense it, but i struggle to do that.

--

ooph, this shit is so true. although i do think there's a good amount of truth in neurosciences, i just think there are alot of /neurologists/ specifically that are shams, or at least extremely biased and prejudiced about alot of things. neurologists also seem to have the biggest ego of all specialists drs ive seen.

~

i have a couple genetic disorders, which like i have the clinical profiles for and also have genetic tests that match. but only after alot of years of progressively getting worse and going to so many doctors to try to find out why. i actually had to do a bunch of research when i could, even analysed my raw dna data from an ancestry test, found a specialist in the suspected disorders, and got a very clear clincal diagnosis, then got official WGS testing to further confirm that.

so my self-diagnosis was right for a good couple of my disorders actually, but most were diagnosed by others after the other diagnoses were confirmed.

(like evidence of one phsyical disorder made other drs start to take my other symptoms seriously thankfully, bc now it was less likely to be mental illness/conversion symptoms in their eyes.)

but one of the /very first diagnosis/ that a neurologist tried to give me was Functional Neurological Disorder (which i do think is understood to be a bit different now than conversion syndrome, but to most drs it meant the same thing back then. even now, alot of doctors use FND and conversion disorder interchangeably, they think FND is just conversion disorder but "rebranded" so there's less pushback about a diagnosis, which isnt true.)

but FND is a diagnosis of exclusion. thank fuck my moms knowledgeable about stuff and said "no, you cannot diagnose my child that from one conversation and zero tests except routine labs, thats only by exclusion. you have done no tests to investigate their symptoms." so it never was an offical dx, but it was in the doctors notes still, which follow me to other doctors unfortunately.

it should never be the first thing a neurologist diagnoses or suggests to someone. he probably tried to for me because i was on medicine for anxiety depression and OCD, and was having alot of neurological symptoms.

(he also tried to say all my decline, daily headaches and constant migraines id developed after a TBI was just "post concussion syndrome" and "stress", but it was still going on 4+ years at that point. we had no idea PCS is not supposed to last that long, and trusted him about that at least. but when i had to switch drs, my new neurologist was actually /appalled/ the previous one didnt do further tests, or even get an updated MRI. he honestly seemed in disbelief that the old dr was trying to tell us it was "totally normal" to still be so affected after so long, let alone be having a decline as well.)

id literally had to stop my OCD meds very abruptly and have awful withdraws because he (the old negligent neurolgist) refused to do any further testing until i stopped that medicine (without consulting a psychiatrist even, he just said i had to stop it. such such dangerous and reckless doctor advice/order).

i was progressively declining and having alot of seizures and different dangerous medical events. so i stopped it and suffered bad withdraws ontop of everything else that was happening, went back to him, just for him to say it mustve been stress still, i was "stressed".

-

"its stress" is a dr code phrase for "i dont have any idea whats happening with this patient but my ego will never let me admit that, so im going to blame the patient and say its all anxiety".

alot of drs wont admit if they dont know something. but all of my good drs, who have actually been investigating things and gotten to the bottom of a couple of my disorders, have admitted that because im a complex case, they dont know which issues are being caused by what.

they do tests to rule out or confirm major issues and then we try meds/treatments for various things to see if they help to try and find origins. and sometimes we just wont know what a symptom is from, but the goal is to find ways to improve my quality of life and capabilities, while doing frequent testing to keep an eye on the issue. like, all my best drs put their egos aside and say "lets investigate together".

i have been failed in alot of ways by the medical systems and doctors, but i have also had good drs and recieved alot of help as well.

--

but alot of that good help, only came after advocating and fighting like hell for my symptoms to be investigated properly. after doing a fuck-ton of research myself because the system was failing me and i was dying (literally), then finding a specialist in what i suspected was my main issue. they investigated and tested for it properly, then gave me a clincial diagnosis, then "proof" of the disorder via genetic testing later on.

--

im actually lucky in the sense that i actually have some known variants. because a couple of my genetic disorders dont always have known variants found yet, and despite myself having a very clear clincal profile, some doctors didnt even want to "accept" the diagnosis i was given, until they saw a clear genetic marker. even though i was diagnosed already, it was always "patient suspects ____ disorder, still awaiting WGS test to confirm.", "patient has concerns of ___ disorder, no genetic testing done yet.", "patients claims was diagnosed with ____, but no genetic testing done."

if my doctors hadnt been refusing to treat me for my other disorders, "until genetic tests come back", then i wouldnt have tried to get testing, because alot of drs who specialize in this disorder advocate for patients to NOT get testing, because even if someone has a clear clinical diagnosis and treatments are helping, if genetic results come back negative some doctors will take away the clinical diagnosis, stop treatments, and slap a conversion/FND label on them. then the patient doesnt improve because they dont have that, they have a genetic disorder with an un-found variant.

like, im talking about a disorder that the vast majority of people who have it, DO NOT have an identified variant, and it has clear clinical diagnostic requirements, which i fit. its not a diagnosis of exclusion, i fit the clinical tests and profiles, but so many doctors wouldnt accept my diagnosis unless i had a genetic test showing positive.

--

from the time of clinical diagnosis to actually getting testing was a little over 4 years, and my other doctors were all still treating my very real, very clear clincal diagnosis as if i was just suspecting it. so everything, all treatments except for PT (which always made me worse, which is a known thing with my disorder) and some of the meds i was already on, was being delayed and put into limbo, of "lets wait for the genetic test first", even things unrelated to that diagnosis.

everyone said i needed WGS before anything else, but insurance wouldnt cover it, even with appeals, and fighting for so many years for it. so i had to try and save for it myself which is crazy hard when you're disabled with no income. while saving up, we were still trying to get insurance to cover it.

--

so in this circumstance, thank fuck i actually had some known variants! because if i hadnt? i honestly would be dead. and i firmly believe that would be due to medical negligence and malpractice. which i also firmly believe was rooted in mental illness stigma, and stigma/bias due to the fact that an abuser was intefering with my health care (still is actually) by calling doctors offices and telling them that i have munchausens and/or by proxy.

(which i consider this to still be a mental health stigma/bias issue, not a genuine concern, bc alot of the tests and diagnoses i had are not something that someone can fake??? so seeing those shouldve made drs not take my abuser's words seriously, had they not been so biased about it, had it not clouded their judgment so much.)

-------------------

also, on the topic of phsyical abilities affecting mental health:

ooph i also have alot to say about that, in particular how my disabilities affect my OCD, and sometimes needing other people to engage in my compulsions for me, which sounds really weird when i word it like that.

and often i cant engage in some compulsions, or others cant get things "just right" for me, thats a major theme/pattern for my OCD. so ive basically been getting exposure therapy more and more as my physical abilities declined. and its awful awful for both me and my caregivers/helpers when im trying to convey while very stressed the exact way they need to place something or do something, etc. and when im overhwlemed or dysregulated (like how OCD can cause) then im very prone to meltdowns and to speech loss episodes as well, which then interferes with being able to communicate what i need in that moment too.

~

and needing help requires so much vulnerability, often i have people willing to help. safe people, who i love and the logical part of me knows would never actually hurt me. but with traumas and triggers, sometimes i just dont shower, or dont change my clothes, or i hold my urine in, or dont do some other things if i require help.

(and having experiences that match a PDA autism profile, whether from trauma or autism or a mix of both idk. can make all that worse too. i deny my own needs, even when i can do them, because my body is trying to demand it from me, which feels like a threat to my autonomy and choices.)

on the phsyical capabilities level though, i try to wait it out as long as i can until i can muster the energy and abilities to do something myself, or until i cant wait longer and need help. ill try to orient myself to remind i am safe, and sometimes just have to face those emotions, face those triggers.

i know that sounds bad, and i mean it is bad. i dont want to downplay it too much, but i also think its a fairly normal response to the things have have happened to me, and the loss of control my illnesses cause/create/exacerbate.

i have all the supports in place to be able to recieve that help, im often needing that help, but i need to try to hold onto control and autonomy as much as possible that id rather be lacking in my hygeine (especially bc im not even leaving the house or being very active to get sweaty or gross), or have abdominal pain from holding urine/bowel movements in, than traumatize myself if i might just be able to wait a longer until i have the ability to transfer myself and clean myself.

-

my mental illnesses and PTSD affect my willingness to recieve the help from safe and well meaning people even when i do need it. and that then further can affect my mental and/or phsyical health.

like, its just a really shitty situation, that im still trying to learn the best way to cope with. trying to find the best way to let myself recieve help. to let myself to vulnerable, to truly /feel/ that its safe to ask for help even. not logically know, but actually feel it.

thankfully, my main caregiver is respectful of my "no's", and even if shell emphasize if i need to shower, check ive ate or drank water, and offer me help if i need it, she respects when i say "i need help but i dont want it, ill let you know when it gets to the point you need to be hands-on."

shes well meaning, but we still have some communication issues, especially when i have alot more speech issues, and can struggle to communicate to her.

i often think others can read my mind, not in the delusion way, but in the sense that i assume others can read my body lanaguge (even when im not being physically expressive, flat face, etc), and that the way i feel and the things i need are just already understood by others.

and i dont always realize how different some of my thinking patterns/needs are from others as well, and assume they experience some of the same things, so they are just automatically understand.

-

and ive had multiple instances now, when i was having anaphalaxis, but have traumas around needles i cant control (and auto injectors count as a needle i cant control). ive had to wait until i was too incapacitated from an allergic reaction, to have my mom inject me with an epipen.

i am mentally incapable of injecting an auto injector, and will physically resist when capable too even if i want the epinephrine. i can get really severe flashbacks just /thinking/ about needles being inside me. i cannot get the body to do it.

so, i have given prior consents for her to be able to inject me with an epipen if im having really bad reactions even if i say no. but she has had to wait until im too weak or sick, or just dissociated and disconnected and in fawn/flop/freeze rather than fight/flight, to inject me.

so its at least not too bad of a trauma, but it is still extremely traumatic. to need that, and to need someone i love and feel safe with, need to be the person that injects that needle i cant control.

---

well, this was a very long responses. seems when i do post, i write alot. i can struggle to condense and summarize things well, so i apologize if there was too many details or words.

just writing to the void of the internet, a world of strangers and bots. so if feels like i can be more open i think.

i cant speak for everyone but i feel like it's underrated just how much impact being physically disabled has on mental health. because physically disabled people often have to remind others that we struggle with mental health issues that it sometimes sounds like an afterthought to others. but it's a real impact of being physically disabled. being unable to go outside or leave the bed worsens depression. having actively declining health worsens depression because part of depression is being unable to imagine a future for yourself. it also creates anxiety. you have to rely on people. on carers, family, the government. it's hard to assure anxiety when you are in a precarious position and the "worst case scenario" is not something you can circumvent or deal with, because lack of care will kill you. has killed people like you. being told you are worthless, that people like you should die or never live in the first place has a big impact on mental health. being physically disabled and unable to defend yourself, being forced to rely on people, opens up a lot of opportunities for abuse and trauma. being in pain is traumatic, medical procedures may be traumatic - and being a disabled child leads you to be doubly vulnerable. people often have to focus on their physical needs to keep them alive - to keep them clean and fed and such. and with such little energy to spare it is difficult to manage mental health. all the stigma surrounding mental health doesn't disappear because you're already disabled. sometimes when you do reach out people will just focus on trying to make you less disabled in order to cure the mental illness issue, instead of giving you the tools to help manage it in your current and real life.

[bunni-v1]

Hnnghh christmas Lighter smut where reader is dressed in nothing but a long ribbon and bow bc he’s been a good boy this year

🍓Did u read my mind? Get outta there… jkjk, but seriously this is EXACLTY what I was thinking about. I really can’t dedicate the time to a full fic, which breaks my little gay heart, but imagine with me if you would… (this is a full fic btw i fucking lied to you and myself)

Tw: Nsfw; kinda rough (not too rough); UNEDITED ITS HORRENDOUS

Mdni

Christmas with the Sons of Calydon is pretty atypical. They have their own traditions that most New Eirduians would scoff at, but they’re rather important to those who live in these parts. Drinking, singing together (usually drunkenly and offkey), taking bike rides out to start a fire and literally burn away past regrets of the year, and of course fights — plenty of fights.

You weren’t exactly a fan of the fighting part, usually meant more work for you to do, but Lighter always seemed to have fun. Obviously he did, he never lost — he hardly broke a sweat for the most part. And he loved showing off, especially if you were there to watch him. Everything else was mostly normal, though… a little odd but custom made to your little ragtag group, and you loved it.

It felt warm, cozy, like family. They passed out gifts, most of them hand made or incredibly thoughtful since money was scarce for most of you. Lighter had gotten you a (rather expensive) bracelet with your and his initials engraved on it. It was sweet, and unexpected from the guy who pretended like the holiday was nothing for the months leading up to it.

It made you melt on the inside and feel nice and warm. However… his nonchalance about the holiday cause you one… teeny tiny, itty bitty problem. You had no clue what to get him, and you hadn’t gotten him anything — time had run out and no one would give you any good hints.

His insistence that you didn’t need to get him anything in return made your stomach ache. It was hard to focus on his fight when your head was rushing with ways to rectify the horrific mistake you’d made quickly. The red ribbon of the jewelry box wrapped around your fingers tightly, then unwound as you mulled over your options.

You could get him something for his bike, but you’d have to drive to the city and it’s unlikely he’d let you go without him — that’s if the stores were even open this late on a holiday. Maybe you could craft up something quick and easy, if you could get back to your place there surely would be something, but… that felt cheap. Especially compared to the bracelet.

“That ribbon’s pretty,” Caesar says next to you, drawing you from your thoughts, “Must’ve been one real fancy place he went to for ya.”

You sigh, leaning back against the wall a little, looking at the ribbon as you twisted it around, “I’m sure it was. He’s so hopeless sometimes.”

“Only because you’re so sweet on him,” She teases, nudging your shoulder lightly.

A laugh huffs out of your chest, then an idea strikes you. The ribbon is pretty. You actually had some like it back at your place, stored away from last years festivities. You twist the ribbon one last time, and then you grin, wide and wild. Lighter catches your eye as he socks his opponent in the jaw, smirking at you like he’d won a prize.

“Hey, Caesar,” You hum, turning to your friend who seemed a little uneasy at your expression, “How long do you think you can keep him distracted for me.”

She hums, watching him thoughtfully, “I’ll buy ya fifteen minutes — wait, why?”

“You’ll hear later~” You hum with a wink, and practically skip back to your place, leaving Caesar alone to deal with your very adrenaline filled boyfriend on her own.

It takes you half the time Caesar said she could get you to find the damn ribbon, and the other half is spent fighting for your life to get the thing on and look at least a little sexy. You tried to recall old articles you’d read on bondage and shibari, but it was hard to do without a guide. You’d managed to get all the good bits wrapped up and hidden, with a few extra crosses to make it look pretty.

You don’t get a chance to check because you hear Lighters heavy footsteps outside the door nearly as soon as you’ve tied the bow comfortably around your neck. Your able to sort’ve arrange yourself seductively on the bed for him just as the front door open and he calls out to you. You could tell he was annoyed from his voice alone. He never liked it when you left his shows early.

“Caesar told me you headed back here,” He called, boots thumping as he threw them off, “We’re you not enjoying the show?”

It’s a tease, you know it is, but there was an underlying annoyance in his voice that sent a tingle up your spine. He pushes the bedroom door open incredibly slowly, to the point you think he’s trying to surprise you with something. You have the gall to feel stupid for a moment right before his eyes land on you, and he stops at he takes in the sight.

There is an audible shudder as his eyebrows raise nearly to his hairline. He takes his sunglasses off, revealing those pretty green eyes that rake in every inch of you with hunger. Then, he smirks, shoving the bedroom door closed with his shoulder already working his gloves and jacket off to the floor. Forgotten without a second thought. The rest of his clothes follow quickly after.

“Merry Christmas!” You cheer, though you’re more nervous than happy. He clearly likes it, according to the quickly growing tent in his pants and how fast he is to strip himself, but he’s a little too quiet for your liking.

He sinks onto the mattress in front of you, hands ghosting around the bright red ribbon. Like if he touches it, it’ll all fall apart in his grasp. He traces each inch of it with careful practiced restraint, following the fabrics flow across your body until he remembers that you are under the fabric and he lands on your face.

His eyes soften when you smile nervously up at him, fingers tracing the apple of your cheek with such admiration it nearly makes you cry. “You like it?” You ask softly, unsure of yourself.

He scoffs like you’re stupid for wondering, “This might be the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

It draws a genuine laugh out of you, which he follows with his own as he comes down to nuzzle your cheek with his nose. Then a soft kiss that trails down to your lips, easing you into a slow careful dance of love and passion.

He readjusts your position so carefully, you almost don’t notice he’s doing it until he’s between your legs. Pressing them open then pressing his dick to the ribbons wrapping up your folds from him. You’re already dripping, the adrenaline from earlier enough to get you going, but the added friction just makes it worse. You’d never be able to reuse this stuff, that’s for sure.

His hands glide over your stomach, following the ribbon with lazy easy until he’s found the one covering you from him. His thumbs slide under the pieces, rubbing over the flesh of your abdomen gently. It’s then that he pulls away, a string of saliva keeping you connected as he presses his forehead to yours.

“You’re so perfect, you know that?” He murmurs quietly, “You could’ve given me a smile and I would’ve been happy.”

You shy away, “Well… I almost didn’t have anything to get you, but your gift, mmm, inspired me.”

He chuckles at you, reaching down to run his dick against your still covered folds. The silky fabric oddly making everything feel more intense. “I can see that. Very cute, by the way.”

“I know, thank you,” You hum, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as he presses the two of you back into a laying position, “Now are you gonna unwrap your present, or are you gonna keep teasing yourself.”

A roll of the eyes and another smirk, “Y’know, I’ve never been a fan of ruining the wrapping paper. Shits expensive… so how about we go nice and slow.”

As he says that, he slides his dick between the ribbon, right up against your throbbing clit. You let out a surprised sound, quickly melting into sighs of pleasure and he fucks into the ribbon. Each push and pull stimulates your aching pussy into gushing out more for him, clenching on nothing as he fucks himself against you at a leisurely pace.

You take the chance to look down, moaning out as he head of him touches your thigh. The sight is something you’d see in a porno. Lighter follows your eyes, smiling to himself when he catches you practically going cross eyed at the sight.

“We look good together, don’t we, sugar?” He purrs. A rare nickname, sweet and extra praiseworthy — just like he thinks you are.

You nod along with him, fluttering your eyes back to his with a dumb little smile. Each drag of his dick makes your toes curl and nails dig into his broad shoulders. He sighs at the sensation, pressing kisses into your skin to quiet himself up. He’d rather listen to you, after all, and this was a gift for him.

His fingers begin to crawl up your body, dancing along the ribbon excitedly. They make sure to stop and tweak your nipples through the fabric, humming when he feels they’re sufficiently hard and sensitive under his touch. Then, finally, they reach the neatly tied bow around your neck.

The tug at it, gently unwrapping it from your neck and pulling it away with ease. Replacing the red of it with his tongue, licking and sucking new marks into the flesh. Your hips stutter against his, and he lets out a groan, squeezing your tit as warning. You whine, but don’t fight him anymore. His hands returning to unraveling the ribbon, pressing into the skin revealed until he is the only thing keeping the ribbon and his dick pressed against you.

You pout a little when he pulls away, pussy aching for friction once his dick is gone. You feel it clench as it looks for him, and god it makes you feel like a whore. He takes your hands from his shoulder and leans over you to tie them to the bed board above your head. You can feel how wet your were at the wrists, especially when he kisses them reassuringly.

“I love you tied up,” He hums, “You’re so pretty when you can’t do anything.”

You pout up at him, but he doesn’t stay to admire the look long, leaning over to the bedside table to grab the condoms. It occurs to you, in a state of lust driven stupor, that he shouldn’t have to fuck his christmas gift with a condom on.

“Ah, wait—“ He raises an eyebrow at you, hand just inches away from the condoms, “Would you wanna do it raw?”

He blinks at you, again surprised in the same way he was when he first saw you. “Are you serious?”

“We don’t have to—“ You quickly try to rectify the situation, but he cuts you off.

“No, no, we definitely have to,” He shakes his head, closing the drawer with one swift motion, “You’re trying to kill me out here, aren’t you?”

You shake your head, but he’s not listening as he pulls you up into the position he likes most. Legs over his shoulders, body bent in half so he can fuck you hard and fast. He gives you a few seconds to adjust to the position, then he’s pressing his dick into you at a painfully slow pace.

It’s because he’s just so big, he always has to go slow, but you wish he’d just fuck you through the pain right now. The stretch is perfect as always, and you suck him in like it’s nothing with how wet you already were.

He cusses when he finally bottoms out, pressing his face into the side of your neck. You can feel his hot breath fan against your skin, tingling deliciously. “Fuck you’re always so tight. I’m never gonna get used to it, sugar.”

You hum, though you’re in no better shape. Shivering and shuddering every inch, and still quaking as he sits still inside you. You play with his hair to distract from how hot you are, and how you wish he’d make you hotter.

He gives himself a moment to calm down, then he presses a kiss you your cheek, readjusts you just a little so your muscles don’t tense up, and then he moves. The first three thrusts are slow and easy, then he starts to slam into you hard.

“Oh fuck—“ You cry out as the deafening smack of his hips into your ass rings out across the room.

The pace he sets is brutal and unrelenting, you were hoping for it all night. The unspent adrenaline from his earlier fights coming right back to fuck you so good you know you won’t be walking tomorrow. Each slap of his balls against your quickly reddening ass is accompanied by a stifled moan.

He watches you with an intensity you weren’t aware he was capable of, eyes drinking in every single inch of your expression. He looked crazed, but that’s what made it so hot. He was obsessed with every little look, every little sound that left you.

“Don’t be quiet, sugar,” He hums, pushing two of his fingers along your bottom row of teeth to force the sounds out.

“They’ll hear—“

“Let ‘em,” He dismisses, “They know you’re mine anyway, who cares.”

You really couldn’t argue with that, especially not when he shifts ever so slight to hit your g-spot head on. A salacious moan rips out of your throat, and your sure Caesar has figured out what you were up to earlier from that alone. He doesn’t stop ripping sounds out of you, though, continuing his brutal pace and hitting that spot so well you think you’re seeing stars.

The build up to your orgasm is so quick you hardly have time to realize it’s happening. One second you’re fine the next your throwing your head back and moaning like a whore.

“Lighter- Baby, I’m— fuck me- god I’m gonna cum, Lighter.” You admit, way too loud for your liking.

He hums, seeming to switch gears and fuck you faster somehow, “Go ahead, I’ve got you. Lemme feel you cum for me.”

You nod, chest rising and falling rapidly as start litter your vision. You think you nearly pass out, but Lighters hard thrusts fuck you through your orgasm. You squeeze him so tight, like you’re trying to milk his own out of him. You want him to fill you up, want to feel his warm cum deep in your belly. Want to see it drip down your thighs and pool onto the bed when he pulls out.

“Cum inside, please.” You beg.

“Fuuuck… ‘re you—“

You nod, “I need it, please cum in me. ‘S part of your present.”

He groans, fisting the sheets next to your head, “Suagr, you’re fuckin’ killin’ me.”

Always one to please, Lighter does exactly as you ask. Filling you to the brim with his thick hot cum. You revel in his moans, and only slightly wish you could curl your nails into his shoulders to leave another christmas gift for the morning.

He eases you into a more comfortable position before collapsing on top of you. His weight is welcome against your spent body, as are the wet kisses he presses into your sore skin. He unties your hand with one of his, and you quickly wrap them up into his hair.

“I love you,” He mumbles into your shoulder, “So much. You’re the best gift a guy can ask for.”

You giggle at the praise, “I love you too, Lighter.”

[xiaominghao]

Too early for Christmas

Genre: fluff, crack ??

Pairing: Minghao x reader.

Warnings: barely proofread, this was funnier in my head, babygirl Minghao.

Yuin's note: At first I thought about writing this for Mingyu but the idea of Hao being such a loser was more apealing (I'm sorry Hao).

Hao, is that you?” you asked loudly, the front door had slowly closed and you didn’t hear anything else. There was no response. “Minghao?”

You heard a sound coming from the living room and thinking it was the TV or some video, you overlooked it. However, it was a little strange how quiet he was. As you walked toward the living room, Minghao was facing away from the kitchen entrance, right in front of the Christmas tree that was in the corner.

You cleared your throat to get his attention, and that made him shrug, slightly turning his head and giving you an awkward smile.

“Hello, darling,” he said in a trembling voice, “I didn’t know you were home.”

“Hi…” you greeted slowly, suspecting that something was going on. “Yeah, well. I just came to say that lunch is almost ready, can you help me with…?”

You heard the same noise as before, loud and clear. It was a bark and sounded very close; you glanced towards the TV but it was off, then looked back at Minghao, who swallowed hard as he gave you an even more awkward smile.

“Hao…” you stared at him seriously, crossing your arms. “Please tell me it's not what I think it is.”

He turned completely towards you, his head bowed as if he were guilty of something while cradling to his chest a small puppy with a large red bow tied around its neck.

He slowly lifted his gaze and swallowed hard, you stood there with your arms crossed and both eyebrows raised. “Um… Merry Christmas?”

“It’s too early for Christmas,” you replied, stepping forward defiantly, making him shrink back a little more.

“Merry… Christmas Eve?”

“Hao…”

He sighed deeply and straightened up firmly, giving a more serious air, as he usually does.

“Alright, I’m sorry. I know I was the one who said ‘no pets in the apartment,’” he defended calmly, but suddenly his expression changed. “But how could I say no to these little eyes and these tiny paws!?”

“Who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend!?” you exclaimed, pointing your finger at him. “Xu Ming Hao wouldn’t be swayed like that!”

“Surprise, he did!”

“Get out right now and return it!”

“No!” Hao frowned as if you had said the most offensive phrase in the world, hugging the puppy like a spoiled child protecting his toys. “She was given to me by a sweet old lady who was giving puppies up for adoption. I promised I would take good care of her.”

“I’m sorry,” you crossed your arms again, not wanting to back down. “I can’t promise that.”

Hao tilted his head a little and with pouty face, he looked you straight in the eyes. “Would you do it for me?”

Your pulse quickened a little, your chest tightened. You still stood there with a straight face, but you didn’t feel as firm as before; you were really weak when it comes to him, too much to admit it.

Hao moved a little closer and gently tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear. “Would you do it for me?” His voice low and sweeter than ever.

Seeing that you weren’t saying a word, he brought his face just inches from yours, his lips almost brushing against yours. “Would you do it for me?”

You swallowed hard and shyly turned away, averting your gaze so he wouldn’t see how flushed your face was and a loud growl escaped from your lips. “What name should we give her?”

Hao approached you and happily kissed your face repeatedly; he was feeling like the happiest man in the world. You were still a bit annoyed but seeing him so smiley made your heart ache in love.

“You’re an idiot,” you murmured, turning your back to him.

“And you’re hopelessly in love with me,” he whispered in your ear, hugging you from behind to give you a little kiss on the shoulder. “Now, shall we lunch?”

“Sure, just let me… Why does my slipper feel cold?”

Both of you looked down, and the puppy was sitting by your foot, staring at you intently.

“Hao…”

He sighed to stifle a laugh. “Leave it to me.”

[utilitycaster]

Inspired actually by me nonstop thinking about the Young Witch Solving The Disappearance Of Her Neighbor's Cat In The Alps tweet since last night and a number of other unrelated posts I have been thinking about the concept of maturity in media, because I think there's a lot of different dimensions to that. It's a series of spectra, rather than a binary, and if you use the terms "mature" or "immature" you can quickly realize that a lot of our societal metrics for what's adult-appropriate vs. child appropriate are very skewed in specific and in my opinion untrue and unhelpful directions. This could honestly be a 10 page essay and I may very well write that when I'm on break but just to give you my outline here:

Stimulation - is it grabbing your attention with bright lights and loud sounds and fast action, or do you have to actively focus? Action films can be just as "jangly keys" as children's animation despite being an "adult" work, whereas something like Mad Men can have vivid colors but would bore a child to tears in terms of pace and action. However, and this will be an ongoing theme, you can have a very choppy, fast-paced narrative that is complex and a very slow and dull one that is incredibly simple and childish.

"Ratings" Subject Matter: Sex/Violence/Profanity. This is the one I think is most misleading, because you can have an incredibly puerile R-rated film, and you can have an immensely complex narrative without any of the above. [note: I have zero patience for people who act like sex and violence are inherently unnecessary wastes of time; they are merely things within a narrative that can be executed well or poorly, but it is true that something can have a simple plot and constant bright lights and stimulation and essentially be big old jingling mobile for infants but there's a sex scene in it so it's Adult Now. Unfortunately a lot of people are like "and this is why YA is inherently better" which we shall see is not the case.]

Other Difficult Subject Matter (I don't have a good name for it, but to give examples, death, racism, genocide, abuse, serious or chronic illness, etc). This one is tricky because all of the above are topics present in works for quite young children, because they can experience all the above or have someone close to them experience them, and fiction is a powerful teaching tool. Obviously the nature of how this is presented varies, and later points will cover it, but while in my opinion the simple presence of these topics says nothing about the work's level of maturity on its own I'm including it because you do get people who think that children should be shielded from all the above and would consider the mere inclusion of those topics as inappropriate. They're wrong, but it's definitely an axis of judgement/categorization that exists.

Adult-level processing of information (probably a misnomer in that teens can do this but like, teens read adult books all the time, and as Tumblr has shown us, many adults cannot do this): does the narrative require you be able to pick up on subtext? Do you need to understand what is relevant to the story and what isn't? Do you need to be comfortable with or at least able to tolerate not knowing entirely what is going on right away? Do you need to have a sense of irony? Is there an unreliable narrator?

Adult-level processing of moral complexity (in my limited, not a parent or educator experience, I honestly think teens do better with the information processing than this, ie, this is one of the last things to develop; also Tumblr is even worse): does the narrative require you accept that sometimes things are unfair and will never be fair? Do you need to accept a story in which the Quote Unquote Bad Guys walk free without real consequence? Do you need to accept a story in which no one's actions are entirely defensible or in which no choices are easy and clean and harmless? Do you need to attempt to understand an alien perspective? Is there senseless tragedy? This incidentally is how you separate out the children's books from the adult books on topics like illness or catastrophic events; a lot of children's books end with a message of "it's hard and sad, but it will be okay eventually" and focus on very relatable POV characters which is understandable! But, to use an example as someone who went to a Jewish school with a robust Holocaust education, elementary schoolers read Number the Stars in which the (entirely fictional) Jewish family escapes to Sweden; middle schoolers read Night in which Wiesel's (real) father dies painfully in front of him.

None of this is to say that escapism/cozy fiction/whatever you want to call it is bad - I am not interested in a diet entirely made of thorny moral quandaries and no happy endings. I enjoy a stupid turn off your brain action movie, or a fluffy romantasy. But I do think that a demand that every ending be happy and that Justice Be Served in every story is no less immature than saying "ew, there's kissing in this???"

[chimggukchim]

https://www.tumblr.com/chimggukchim/770049627903901696/but-it-will-not-and-cannot-be-what-it-was-before?source=share

First thing first i saw another anon say this anon is a tkkr who's sneaking in jkk space when i can very well tell anon is just a jkkr who has seen difference in jikook over the chapt2 era. Just because one jkkr doesn't agree with another doesn't mean they HAVE to be from another ship. And Tkkrs don't talk about jkk the way anon talked because it's hard for Tkkrs to even address the things jkk did together Especially GCFT so anon is definitely not a tkkr.

Second idk in which spaces YOU were because the whole jikook tag was clogged with very much negativity during AYS Especially after 1st,2nd ep because everyone was Feeling the difference in the way jk talked to anon because we have never seen them bicker this much after their debut self. over these past few yrs we have seen them very much be sweet towards e/o and not really bicker atleast not to the level of AYS and it was maybe because we never had full hrs of just jkk only so we're seeing their raw self so maybe jkk have been this way towards e/o for long time but we just never got to witness it before and hence why it was kinda shocking for many jkkrs and yes there was very much negativity. talking about how jk said "Jimin is dead" and laughed when jm was sick because some jkkrs didn't like that because they haven't seen jk talk like that etc etc. If you need @ of the blogs who's seen this negativity ask me and I'll definitely provide it in next ask (I'm not doing in this one because I don't wanna disclose their @ to other anons who might attack them).

Yes the 1st ep looked awkward maybe because they haven't hangout together for some time and when they're doing they're in front of cam so they don't know how to act, It happens when you're meeting s/o after some time and haven't exactly planned things you're doing or you haven't thought it thoroughly. They Started loosening up at the end of 2nd ep. And if anyone talks about their physical closeness as why would they be close like that when they are awkward then ITS taekook is good example of that why or how.

anon didn't lie when they said that jk didn't bother showing up for jm anywhere because that's true. he was at hybe for CK most probably saw jm is practicing stopped there and went home exactly like how he showed up at one of hobi's filming during JITB because the set was in hybe. That time jm specifically asked jk to come to show support to him more and jungkook didn't come again. we saw jm's practice BB and jk wasn't there again and when jk asked when was jm's next music show jm also told him that jk has already seen his dance during practice so it's normal to assume the practice was last one. yes he might have came for another practice but given we haven't seen I'll chose not to make up that "he came to the practice again" because if everyone just start assuming things with nothing to back up there's no difference them and Tkkrs.You remembered what jm said what during serendipity recording then how did you forgot what jm said During festa 2022 when jk was whinning about jm not showing him his songs along with other members?? let me tell you jm said "Well i told you, asked you all to come and see me work" so didn't jm give open invitation here to ALL members including jk? so did he go or not? i guess not if we go by the whinning he was doing over jm not showing him his song, we have also seen jk watching jm doing filter practice so I'm sure coming again for jm's other practices or MV sets to "show support" shouldn't be so hard given jk went to dream movie premiere, and a musical of tae's frnds to show support or wtv it was. plus given how jk traveled to Hawaii when tae said he missed jk so the hybe building (hobi saw jm there working as well so the pdogg house wasn't the only place jm worked) and before you wonder how new i am it's my 5th year in the Fandom. not as old as you but old enough to have known all of their contents.

Jimin talked about him talking with jk about music for hrs and said that he'd tell jk what he learned so i think he was talking about the time AFTER they shot in NYC for AYS. jm talked about going to vocal lessons when he was working on muse(in his live) so I'm assuming he talked with jk about music after NYC trip where he also heard "Who" for the very first time. my personal assumption which I'm pretty sure of is that jk wasn't aware of what's going on with jm when he was working on FACE and the live jk did after face dropped was him just catching up with what's jm doing. I mean he didn't even know when jm was doing his music shows etc etc. my personal assumption tho.

There's no need for jkk to lie to us and say "you didn't call me when i was free and i didn't call you when u were free" because they simply could have not said anything rather than lying. I'm definitely not a tkkr who spin their words to fit my narative so I'll take things as it is said to us when I don't see any reason for them to lie to us.

Yes having e/o in military is a comfort for them but I'll ask u if u get an option of enlisting alone OR u can Enlist with ur friend whom you know for a decade now what option would u chose? won't u wanna go with ur frnd if U actually have an option? given the status they have it's obvious more comfort for them that they have their frnd with them so I believe any normal human would chose to go with their frnd than alone with given option. and jkk do have visible tattoes so they obviously have limited options that don't mean they have to go with e/o BUT why not go with ur frnd than go alone? it's very natural doens't have to be "they can't live w/o e/o".

And just like Taekook changed jikook changed as well. many have hard time beliveing it but that's what how atleast some of us see it. have some points to add for this topic as why but it's already too long so I'll stop.

Thank you, anon, for the oh so detailed read.

And for also proving my point that some people on here actually believe that the only times jikook have ever interacted in their entire lives is when they film content for us.

Bravo!

I was going to just leave it at that but I've got some time so why not write more?

Anon not being a tkkr? Yeah, okay. It is true that not all jikookers have the same opinion. Some support, some simply ship and can become very insecure because they don't actually see jikook as two actual people in an actual relationship. But I actually have working braincells and can very easily spot tkkr rhetoric as opposed to insecure jikooker rhetoric. Anon was a tkkr clearly trying to gaslight. I can actually point out very specific phrases used if you'd like.

Jikook have never bickered before AYS? Really?! REALLY?! You stated you're five years into this fandom so my assumption is your consumption of content begins at 2019. Because there is NO WAY that anyone could have seen jikook interactions since 2013, and claimed they have only ever been 'lovey-dovey'.

If there was any awkwardness at the very beginning of filming (which I still have yet to see), do you know why? It's because Jimin and Jungkook DIDN'T HAVE A CLUE WHAT THEY WERE FILMING! They didn't even have a frigging name for the show! To the point that they, along with the staff said on multiple occasions that they didn't even know if this even would be released. Not because they were awkward with each other but because they were just going with the flow for the first time. And as entertainers, they needed to feel out the situation to provide content for us. Guess what? That takes a bit of time.

And your whole essay on JK not being there for Jimin? I'm not even going to go into detail because clearly the only time Jimin and Jungkook interact is when a camera is rolling.

Finally the military thing. You know what would have been more comforting than each other? Being assigned to an area that wasn't the most dangerous and active. And visible tattoos have nothing to do with anything as a lot of persons have posted about. It may have barred them from a select few, but certainly not all other avenues. And Jungkook could have just as easily chosen Taehyung to enlist with. But he didn't. And I hardly think he tossed a coin or that Jimin was the second option. The apparently indigestible fact remains that jikook actively chose each other.

You claim that jikook changed, just like Taekook, and that's just how some of 'you' see it. Fine. Everyone's entitled to their opinion. And I would actually genuinely be interested in those 'whys' you mentioned.

But please, when you do, make sure you can clearly reference from the beginning.

Because I can also do that to show how jikook's relationship has changed over the years. Only, it's not going to be the change you see.

[liondrakes]

Reposting my response since my alterhuman blog is currently shadowbanned:

I come from Toril, and for those who don't know, Toril is the world belonging to The Forgotten Realms of Dungeons & Dragons. To get to the long and short of it, Toril is one of the Planes' greatest magic magnets. My world is synonymous with chaos and high adventure for this exact reason, and what I'm about to tell you is just one example of that.

One of the wildest practices we have is planehopping. Although it didn't originate from Toril, it's certainly quite popular with residents of Toril.

If you're interested in good, old-fashioned fantasy fuckery, here's the rundown:

The realms that my source calls "campaign settings" exist as their own universes where I come from, independent from each other but capable of being accessed through either advanced levels of magic or the assistance of a Planar being. In terms of how people achieve these means, both sound harder than they actually are. All it takes is one overachieving wizard or one kiss-ass warlock to get the job done.

Individuals who regularly venture between these universes are known as Planehoppers. Ranging anywhere from seasoned wizards such as Mordenkainen to adventurous parties itching to become cosmic legends, planehopping culture is well-documented but hardly ever encouraged. If anything, it's in the same vein of things you'd argue over at Thanksgiving. Magic is not out of the norm whatsoever, but what type of magic you practice will always be squabbled over.

As one would assume, Planehoppers rarely stay in one realm after they depart from their realm of origin. Many pursue this lifestyle with individual goals in mind, whether it be Mordenkainen's quest to protecting The Balance (a cosmic force that is exactly as it sounds) or a ballsy adventurer looking for treasures across the realms.

Some individuals become Planehoppers as a rather extreme form of soul-searching. Spiritual Planehoppers take to the stars and explore the realms beyond to broaden their understanding of existence. They are the minority of Planehoppers; even so, their introspections create some pretty interesting spiritual and philosophical discourses.

Although planehopping is a point of contention in some realms (like my own), it is far from a new practice. In fact, there's a couple of civilizations that exposed the fabric of the Planes early on, forged their own means of travel and became culturally nomadic as a result. The most notable of which are Astral Elves.

Having left the Feywilds to further their knowledge, Astral Elves were the first spacefarers and would observe other realms from afar. Some members of the community argued that there was too much risk in entering the Material Plane and exploring its realms when they didn't originate from them.

Others insisted that this could establish interplanar diplomacies and unprecedented opportunities for future generations of Astral Elves. Lest they forget, this also meant an unrivaled wealth of knowledge for Elvenkind. All of it was in their midst and could be theirs if they took the chance. Unsurprisingly, this led to division.

Some Astral Elves weren't wrong in being cautious, however. Constant planehopping isn't without its consequences. Time passes differently from realm to realm. Depending on how far a neighboring "setting" is from one's own, a simple visit for a couple of hours could've been a couple of years in your realm's time.

Following up on the previous bulletpoint, traveling from realm to realm is one thing. After all, most campaign settings exist within the Material Plane. Traveling from plane to plane is a completely different case. Why? It's because Planes are the very layers of our reality. Traveling from the Material Plane to the Outer Planes, for example, would have the most extreme effect out of any venture, likely causing centuries (at most, a millennium) to pass when one returns to their realm.

This affects one's biological clock as well. Getting adjusted to the passage of time is never easy, no matter how experienced one is. That's because traveling feels so sudden when it wasn't sudden at all. Reckless planehopping is a fast way to fuck up your life, because unwittingly, you're stretching out your age like elastic. Astral Elves are nearly immortal because of this.

Mind you, this isn't even touching on the fact that some beings have interplanar/dimensional counterparts of themselves.

Most Planehoppers are fortunate enough to not cross paths with them if they have any, but those odds are never zero!

I hope this was of interest. I had fun to talking about this!

I want to hear about other worlds. Tell me something about your world, please

[windvexer]

i apologize for the silly question but how can you protect an already created item or make it protective? i don't know why it's not really computing in my head

If you can't/don't want to modify the item at all, some ideas:

Consecrate it. Through a consecration, rebirth, or baptism ritual, kill the object's old fate (let's say, as a class ring), and then give it new life as a protective object.

The physical body stays the same but you have changed its fate and its life; you've made it into something else.

This consecration should focus specifically around protection. So you are consecrating it to the purpose of protection; you are changing its fate to one of being a protector; you are rebirthing it into a life of protecting.

Another option is to consecrate it unto a protective god or spirit. Suppose you get along quite famously with the protection work that Mars (planet) does. You can consecrate the ring to be a Talisman of Mars, a Martial Shield, a Protection Amulet of the Red Planet.

The function of consecration in this context is to set a very rock-solid ""mental"" body within the physical object. (I believe it goes beyond that; I believe you're literally fucking around with fate, which is a good thing.)

Enchant it. I think at this time I would not consider consecration to be the same as enchantment. We can take a class ring and give it a new life as a protector.

But the enchantment is like outfitting the protector with weapons, armor, and a warhorse.

So just consecrating something on its own I think does something, but maybe nothing spectacular.

To do an enchantment, find powers or correspondences which do the same kinds of things you want the protection amulet to do. Maybe we want clove for space, basil for bravery and strength, and oak for a mighty defense.

During the casting of the spell, you might empower/charge/evoke power into the plants, and then direct that power to infuse into the class ring.

"Oak, you build an infinite wall that goes in every direction. None can pass you. And this power does not remain in this oak twig, but it goes into the ring. And within and around the ring, the wall is raised." That sort of thing.

Charge it. You can take a lot of protective energy, program it to do the kind of defense you want, and pour it directly into the ring. IME if you only do this, and you don't do enchantment/energy work to actually build a secure energy structure within the ring, the charge will fade quickly.

You could do just 1 or 2 of these things. You don't have to consecrate a ring to be a protector before you enchant it to protect.

But I believe it's like this:

Imagine a king (you) needs a knight. You could choose a random civilian off of the street and say, "you're a knight now!" and give them a horse and sword. This is like enchanting without consecration.

But you could also consult the oracle and find a person fated and foretold to be the most powerful protector in all the land. The key is, you're not only the king who can knight; you're also the god who assigns fate. This is like consecrating before enchanting/charging.

Finally, you can go down to the pub and say, "look. Free rounds all night to whoever goes and beats up the guy down the road." It'll cost a bit up front and your protector won't be around for long, but it'll work. This is like charging without enchanting or consecrating (or building energy structures, etc).

Overall I believe the most powerful artifacts are born under special stars (minding astrological timing when you create the vessel), consecrated to fate, enchanted with purpose, and charged with power. But you can skip any of these steps and only do the ones you can manage. It will work anyway, it just influences how long the magic will last, and the magnitude of the effects.

(Also btw this was not a silly question at all)

[scrumdidiliyumyum]

Something special |||

Yan!Batfam x Neglected!Reader

Prologue - > Part 1 - > Part 2 - > Part 3

How could he have known that you were with your friends?

You sat there for a while, in the cold car with the sudden realization that that man you had quite literally just met knew something he shouldn't have. Were you overthinking it? Were you just to tired to really comprehend the actual situation, your mind instantly going to something more darker and blaming an innocent man?

Maybe you were paranoid, just maybe. He was a vigilante for goodness sakes. He helps people, saves them. He most likely just assumed that you were out and about, hanging out with buds. There wasn't any need to jump to such big conclusions- to make an innocent man the target of your paranoia.

As you sat there, you tried your best to control your breathing, feeling it go out of control every time the thought of him knowing more than he should've creeped back into your mind. Maybe you really were just going crazy for all you knew.

Your hand shakily reached up to the ignition with the key to start the far, you couldn't think about this right now. Not in the middle of who knows where, alone, in a car. You tried, keyword tried, to push it away, to shoo away the bad thoughts until you were in a safer environment to be allowed to do so.

You drove back to the manor, trying to keep your mind in a happy place. Thinking of things to distract yourself, not noticing the skillfully hidden figure watching your vehicle make its way onto the street.

You slowly made your way towards the manor doors, not wanting to go in. God, why didn't you ask to stay over at a friend's house? If anytime was good, now would be, when your head was working against you and you could've used a friend to help you with it all.

Ah.

Your mind went back to a few certain people as you thought that. As much as you would've loved to, staying at a friend's house when some people were, "keeping an eye out on you," Suddenly disappearing probably wouldn't be the smartest move on your part.

You let out a sigh as you slowly opened the doors, looking around for a minute before making the hike up the stairs and back to your room. You kept looking around, at all the little places you memorized from walking through these halls for years. Something you were hoping would change very soon.

You jumped out of your trance as you felt a hand tap on your shoulder, whipping around and coming face to face with Duke who still had a worried look on his face. You opened your mouth to speak, but closed it as he beat you to it.

"Are you alright? I was worried when you disappeared all of a sudden." You held back to urge to roll your eyes, "yeah I'm fine don't worry. Really, there's no reason to be worried." You stood there awkwardly for a second before slowly turning to make your way back to your room.

Duke suddenly put that to a halt as he said, "hey, you shouldn't stress yourself out so much. I know you wanna work hard, but maybe try to relax, yeah?" You looked back at him, trying to think of what to say.

You would've been mad if it was anyone else, should've been mad nonetheless, but you never really knew Duke. He was always nice, and you both were older, teens when you both had first met. Despite everything, he still treated you the kindest.

So you sighed, before fully turning to face him. You softly smiled at him before saying, "thanks Duke, I'll keep that in mind." You patted his arm before walking back to your room trying to ignore the face he made, just wanting to sleep and prepare yourself for whatever tomorrow intailed.

Man you wished that you were old enough to drink.

You adjusted your uniform, tidying up as best as you could. You were a tad bit nervous, more than usual as today was the day you decided to quit a club. You had to step out of your comfort zone, and maybe it wasn't a big deal to some, but for you it was a really big deal.

All the times you had walked through those halls, hoping for something more from the very people that lived there, it hurt more than everything. And it still didnt hurt any less, but you were gonna make it okay, because you did have people to rely on, people who would be there, who would gladly hang up your photos and take time out of their day to be with you.

You wanted more then everything to start doing stuff you liked, be with people you liked, so that's exactly what you were going to do.

You gathered up the rest of your stray items and set them into your bag. Nervous yes, but overall thrilled to be doing this, patting your self before making your way towards your door to get to school.

You looked at a picture from one of the many photo booths you had run into the night before, hung up on your wall of you, Aryan and Ethan, all smiling, happy and making weird faces.

For the first time in awhile going to school didn't seem to hard.

"I'm sorry, I'm what?"

Your debate teachers face scrunched up slightly as he started to explain, "well, you're out, that's it." He paused before continuing, "technically, isn't that what you wanted? So I don't see the problem." You felt nothing but absolute confusion as he said that, slowly processing his words.

You did amazing, was, were, one of the best debaters, you were always helpful, willing to offer a helping hand to those that needed one, inside and outside the class. So what was the problem? Why were you suddenly cut off the team?

Him sighing and gesturing for you to lean in brought back your attention, "look, kid, to be honest, your amazing. But, this other kid, don't really know his name, started with a D? I don't know, but he waltzed in here, saying how he wanted you off the team, and started going on about you and stuff, something like that."

He scratched his head, "usually, I would just shoo people like that off, but he had a signed paper and everything!" He waved his arms around to emphasize the paper, "look, I'm sorry kid, I figured you knew about it since... well, y'know."

You could feel a huge headache coming on, desperately needing a pill. You paused your thoughts as you took what he said to mind. You stumbled on your words, "I- I'm sorry, Damien?" He nodded his head, getting a grim look on his face, "don't get me wrong, I've dealt with some freaky kids, but that one was definitely pretty freakish."

You were about to make your way into another rant, when you decided to leave it as it is. As much as you wanted to fight him on it, you know it wasn't his fault. You took a breath and forced yourself to calm down and smiled at him politely before taking your stuff and storming off, making turns through the halls towards your car.

You were going to talk to him, yell, whatever. Yes, you were going to quit the club, or a club, but just because didn't mean he had the right to butt in. It was your choice to make, one that seemed to be a good one, one that make you excited until you got there only to find out Damien had gotten you kicked out in the first place.

You and Damien never had a close relationship, always having some sort of rift between the two of you no matter what you did to try and repair it. And for once, for once, you decided you were gonna move on, live your own life, and he decides he doesn't want that?

No.

You weren't gonna just let him decide this. This was for you to decide, and you weren't gonna let him make something that should've been a new chapter into something else as he had done one too many times. You really didn't want that to happen right now, especially when this particular thing was supposed to be a turning point for you.

Maybe you were being dramatic, but in all honesty you couldn't care less. Sure, maybe at the base of it all, what you were really mad at was not just this, but all the other times he was ruined things for you, turning stuff that made you happy into stuff that made you cry and sick everytime it entered your sight, the fact that you were always to weak to put a stop to it.

You just hoped that you would be strong enough to tell him this time.

You slowly made your way towards Damien, having searched for him for a good while. You were filled with anger earlier, but it slowly faded away and out of your body once you noticed Dick standing by him.

You didn't know how to confront him with Dick by your side, at most he wouldn't care, right? You hoped with every fiber in your body that they would push whatever you decided on saying to the deep depths of their minds. As you neared them, the moment they took notice of you, you almost had to double back and go throw up from how nervous you were.

But, you held your ground and continued walking until you were infront of them, trying to hide how harshly you were breathing and the mini panic attack you were having on the inside. "Damien, can I talk to you, somewhere private?" You said with as much confidence you could muster. He stared for a moment before responding, "why? We can talk right here."

The small bite in his tone reminded you exactly why you were in this situation in the first place. Taking a deep breath, "fine. Damien, why did you get me kicked out of my club? It's my club, and you shouldn't have to go behind my back to talk to my teacher." You waited, trying your best to ignore Dick just staring at you.

He rubbed his eyes, sighing, before giving you a fierce look, "look, whether you like it or not, you're my sister. What you do directly effects me and father. And I'd rather not have to deal with you passing out in public, with everyone as a witness."

You scoffed at what he said, " your sister? Well whether you like it or not, it's not for you to decide! What I decide to do with my life outside- actually, inside this manor as well, had absolutely nothing to do with you, or anyone else that lives here."

You breathed harshly out of your nose, trying to keep a cool head but failing miserably. You took in a deep breath before starting another rant, " and y'know what Damien? I passed out once why does everyone think I'm suddenly this super fragile person?" -You barely noticed the way he winced from the pure venom of which you spat his name- "I honestly hate-"

Suddenly Dick covered your mouth, pausing after doing so as if not even meaning to. His eyes jolted around for a bit before settling on whispering, "please don't say stuff like that, okay?" You stared at him, pushing his hand off your mouth. "Say what? That I hate your guts? Is that what the problem is?"

He almost looked surprised at the hatred in your voice, before letting out a sigh, "look, I'm sorry okay? You're probably tired, and just need to go lay down-"

You laughed incredulously, absolutely shocked at his words. Had he even been listening? You decided that you had had enough of his- no, enough of their bullshit. It wasn't your job to cater to their every whim.

You decided then and there to just leave. You rubbed hard at your face, as if to try and rid of the tension and unadulterated anger coursing through your body. Was this whole family crazy? You honestly couldn't care less, you were tired, hungry, and just wanted to be somewhere safe.

You suddenly looked at the two annoyed, "I'm gonna stay at a friend's house tonight. Bye!" Quickly turning around, you started to make your way back down where you had come from. You pushed anything they had said out of your head as you tried to mentally retrace your footsteps back.

Because you had already spaced out, you hadn't noticed Dick speading towards you, completely blocking your path. You jumped at him suddenly invading your view, giving him a questioning look. He looked back at Damien a few times before muttering a quick, 'I'm sorry' and snatching your phone out of your hand.

You looked at him incredulously, at this point really wondering if it was all a dream. Dick stood there, trying to convince you to go to your room. "Look, I'm sorry, can you please go back for now? I promise I'll give it back later I just-" He paused as he looked back at Damien, the both of them having a silent conversation.

Suddenly Damien sighed and spoke up, "go away, I need to talk to Dick." You could feel his stare bore into the back of your head. You scoffed and just left, figuring it wasn't worth the fight. Although you wanted to try and grab it, you tried to soothe yourself with the fact that you still had your computer to contact someone- anyone.

Running Walking away, you could faintly hear Damien start to talk to Dick, 'I thought we told you already-' but you quickly pushed it out of your head. All you could think of at the moment was how pissed you were with those two, what was their problem??

Frankly, any other day you wouldn't have left. It was your phone, and they couldn't just suddenly decide to team up and take it away. But, you didn't care anymore, you were done with having nothing to deal with, then now having to deal with everything.

You tried to soothe yourself with the fact that this time tomorrow you would be out of here.

You walked into your room and slammed the door, sliding down against it trying your best to calm down. For all you knew they could've broken it. You mentally beat yourself up for not just snatching the phone back. The thought of that made you remember something as you sprung up, making your way towards your desk.

Pulling multiple draws open before your eyes finally landed on what you were looking for, you quickly grabbed it out, pushing along the few trinkets that resided on top.

Your laptop.

You needed to message someone, maybe Aryan? Would she even answer? Or maybe Ethan, he might-

.

You paused before quickly turning back towards the desk, once again looking through the drawer that held your laptop. You looked through it multiple times, taking everything out before moving towards other drawers.

After moving everything out, looking once again through the mountain of items that sat om your floor, even going as far as any other desks, drawers, hell, your backpack. Yet no matter where you looked, you couldn't find it. Did someone steal it? Did Aryan- or no, even Miss Honey take it?

Where the hell was your camera?

The dim room was faintly lit up by the big computer screen, shining onto nearby objects and the young man who sat at the desk it resided on. He watched the video, taking in every detail of it. The small giggles that got let out every now and then, the way you threw flour at the other girl in the video, laughing and smiling brightly.

Tim looked over the video, and the many others that were on the sim card over and over again. It was so weird- he never really cared about you, still didn't really. Then what was that aching tug in his heart? but nonetheless, seeing you there, no longer the small kid that he could always sense trailing somewhere behind him, it was weird.

He remembers the first time he met you, you coming up to him with a smile, bandages on your knee, hair wild. It was amusing seeing someone so full of life and color in such a desolate and dark manor. With how sleep deprived he was, he genuinely thought for a second that he went to the wrong manor.

But you weren't little, you weren't the same joy filled kid that he ran into so few times. You were older, and because he didn't know you it was easier to just place you as a faceless nobody.

Well, until you were brought to his attention.

It was like a parasite, the way he slowly heard more and more people talking about you, worrying about you. It honestly didn't make sense. You really weren't special, you had a few quirks here and there, but that was about it. What was so different?

After he ransacked your room, looking through drawers and settling on stealing a camera, he connected it to his computer and looked through the contents. There was a mountain of pictures, ranging from sunsets, to photos with friends, to even the beautiful shimmering ocean.(when did you visit the ocean?)

As much as he hated to admit it, he understood where the rest were coming from. The fact that you hadn't ever touched the dark vigilante life- never having the get your hands dirty from another person's blood, it made you so much different than them.

You were human, something to be treasured, to be kept safe and sound. He couldn't help but think of how different you seemed as of late. In the few times he saw you, he saw a quiet wallflower. But now? Seeing you so of life almost made him... admire you in a way.

The humanity you had, having the ability to be happy and share your love with those around you so freely. He could tell from each picture and video he looked at, the way you talked, looked, it made it so clear that you were someone overflowing with love.

And he longed for you to share it with him as well.

Hey guys...long time no see....

(*´Д`)

I wanted to drop this chapter for christmasss!!! Sorry it isn't Christmas themed though (-。-;) Can you guys tell how readers slowly starting to get more pissed off?? I'm VERY excited to not write a breakdown wink wink Anywaysss I've said this a million times but MERRY CHRISTMAS Or HAPPY HOLIDAYS if you dont celebrate SENDING HUGS AND KISSES TAGLIST : @wizzerreblogs, @darktrashpoetry, @daddyissuesehe, @chericia, @iluvcatzz, @fightmebissh, @fionnalopez-blog, @otterluver05, @kitkatkitmeow, @caged-birdies-blog, @ocean-mochi, @tatsuri-zomushiki, @nickey-diano, @nickey-diano, @cloudserenity, @seleneprince, @degenerates-posts, @definitely-not-sammie, @pix-stuff, @nervousalpacalady, @mys0cksrwet, @kore-of-the-underworld, @lilyalone, @alliwantisadonut, @shadowytravlerlover, @dreamsarenicer, @dhanyasri, @blackbirdsblackberries Thank you for the support 💓 I'm going to bed now (´Д` )

[darlingstarkey]

challengers - rafe cameron

heavily inspired by challengers. except in this concept, rafe and reader are actually in love and don’t hate each other and have the intense angst that tashi and art do lol. i was listening to the soundtrack while writing this as well. very inspirational. please also be aware that i am not so good at tennis and have no concept of how an actual game works, so i’m trying my best. i was also high as balls writing half of this so excuse it if its bad.

summary: during an intense match where undefeated tennis star rafe cameron is losing to his rival, jackson maybank, a little break in between sets with reader is all he needs to get back into the headspace he needs to be in to win.

warnings: mdni! smut, swearing, oral (f. recieving), breeding kink if you squint, unprotected sex (pinv), jj maybank i guess?!, reader and rafe being cute but sexy.

wc: 2.3k

-

tennis star rafe cameron, who had already won this years us open, last years wimbledon, and would be competing in the australian open within the next year, nothing could ever stop him from breaking his undefeated record as a professional tennis player. but there he was, jackson maybank. rafe’s old doubles partner back in boarding school. they had a horrible fallout, especially when rafe went to stanford for tennis and met you, his support system and motivation to play. jackson decided to immediately go pro and failed to become successful miserably, therefore breaking up the duo. but the secret that only you three knew, was that jackson had always beat rafe. 

at the charleston challenger, you had convinced rafe to join as a last minute wildcard entry, although he was way out of their league as the #1 mens player in the industry. but there it was, the final match was set between him and jackson. you could feel the tension between the two of them as they played their first game. rafe dominated the courts fearlessly, his grunts echoing across the court as he swung effortlessly. within a minute of their first game, “15-love, cameron.” the chair umpire called. a smirk widened across rafe’s face as he squatted into position and made intense eye contact with jackson from across the court. an already frustrated jackson looked over at you and gave you a quick wink before serving the ball that flies effortlessly across the court and beyond rafe’s control. “15-all.” the umpire calls out. 

this was going to be a long, intense game. 

the crowd filed in more and more as rafe and jackson kept getting more aggressive, their sweat collecting across their foreheads and sticking to their hair. grunts and painful moans danced across the court as they balanced the ball between each other. usually, you would watch rafe’s every move, willing to give him tips as to how he can improve next time. because thats who you were. his coach, his motivation.  rafe would always listen to you and your advice, knowing that all you wanted was the best for him. not only were you the reason why he became the best of the best, the love and understanding that you two had for each other was fairytale like. no one had ever known a stronger couple than you and rafe.

you couldn’t help but sweat yourself as your head moved in synchronicity with the bright yellow ball. your palms were clamming up on the arms of the chair you were sitting on. everyone could not believe the intensity that was bouncing between jackson and rafe in front of their eyes, and honestly, you couldn’t either. it was the third game and they were already tied for each winning one set. the intensity continued as the two boys frolicked across the courts, mirroring each other effortlessly. rafe would look over to you and nod subtly in between points, knowing that his good luck charm is still around to grant him this win, that was until he succumbed to who was in front of him. 

jackson had this backhand that had been pulled out of nowhere, making the ball sprint past rafe. this call made jackson win that entire set, giving him the advantage between the two men. “FUCK.” rafe exclaimed as he slammed his racket onto the floor. the wilson became bent with the first swing. you could see his muscles tense up and his jaw locked into anger as he continued to swing his racket forcefully onto the ground. jackson continued to smirk over at rafe, knowing where his weakness lies within the game from ages ago. 

you sprint over to the gate where the court is, prepared to meet a very angry rafe cameron for his break. you had never been in this situation before, especially since it was jackson who was his opponent. you gulped as the 6’4 muscular man stomped over to you, angrily staring back at jackson who sat back in his chair smirking and adjusting his groin while staring at the both of you. 

“w-w-what do you need, baby?” you ask him as you cup your hands between his tense jaw. you look up at him intensely with your wide eyes, almost desperately pleading to help him in anyway you can. his arms immediately snake around you as his sweaty body encapsulates you in a hug as he kisses your neck softly and deeply breathes in your pheromones. 

“need you, baby.” he sighs into your ear, making sure that you’re the only one that could hear his plea. you pull away and nod frantically, knowing exactly what he’s referring to. you grab his hand and head over to the private locker room that they had given him as soon as the town of charleston realized that the number one tennis star would be playing in their petty challenger. 

you follow rafe into the room, locking it behind you. you turn swiftly to rafe and notice him stripping his sweaty shirt off, revealing his glistening sore muscles that became prominent as the game went on and on today. you immediately walk behind him and rest your face on his back while wrapping your arms around his stomach. you slowly kiss his back where it is most prominent, knowing the aching pain that is not only within his muscles, but also his veins as he is faced to challenge his childhood best friend. 

“i can’t believe he’s whooping my ass..” he finally admits out loud. you knew that this wasn’t easy for him, especially admitting to submission to jackson, someone who has always been better than him at his sport. your eyebrows furrow at his words. “rafe cameron.” you say, spinning him around. “he is not whooping your ass. he is only one set match ahead of you. do not let him underestimate you. you know his moves, you know the way he works. you are smarter than this, to give up. you, are rafe cameron. the all time tennis player, the number one player in the world. you can beat him, and you will beat him.” you say matter of factly while not breaking eye contact with rafe. with this, he knew you were right, but he just needed you to reassure him of this. 

“god, i love you.” he sighs as he grabs your face roughly and kisses you deeply. you sigh into his mouth as his tongue slips into your mouth. while grasping the back of your hair roughly, he guides you to the bench that is set in the middle of the locker room. he gets on his knees in front of you as you lower yourself to sit on the bench. one of his hands leans down to fondle your breast as the other pulls at the back of your hair forcefully. 

rafe roughly palms your breasts as he’s kissing down your neck. “mine.” he growls. “all mine.” he moans into the nape of your neck. his hands move to your shoulders and glide your silk dress straps off of your body. the top of your dress immediately falling and exposing your breasts. “such nice fuckin’ tits.” rafe says as he takes the view in. his mouth immediately attaches to your nipple as he rolls the other one between his thumb and finger “fuck, rafe. feels so good.” you say as your roll your body to be closer to him. he moans against your nipple, taking his other hand and running it down to meet your bare thighs. you moan at his touch, his rough calloused palms gripping roughly at your thighs. “wanna taste of you baby, i need to be able to still have your taste in my mouth while i’m out there kicking jacksons’ ass.” there he was. that was the rafe cameron you knew, the one who would do this at almost every match that he’s losing. where he would take you into his own private locker room and fuck you senseless, it always ended like this, and it was always how he won.

rafe hikes up your dress as he rips off your lacy pink underwear. “my favorite.” he says as he throws them across the room. putting your thighs on his shoulders, he swipes his fingers across your folds, collecting the nectar that built up. he sticks his fingers in his mouth and sucks loudly. “god, baby, you always taste so fuckin’ good for me.” he moans out. you whimper in response, hitching your breath as he attaches his tongue to your cunt. his tongue swirls around your entrance and swirls its way up to your puffy clit. your chest raises frantically as you pant out at the feeling of your sex god boyfriend eating you out like its the last meal he’s ever had. 

 you’re a whimpering mess under him as you tug at his hair. your eyebrows furrowed together and your pornographic-like face is only driving him more wild, driving the instinctive need to fuck you till you can’t walk out of here. your thighs start to tremble around his head, signalling your approaching orgasm. “r-rafe..gunna come soon, can i please” you choke out. his tongue continues to circulate around your clit at a quicker pace as a response, chasing your orgasm along with you. his large fingers slip into your entrance and start massaging at the squishiness of your walls. the squelches of your wet pussy echo in the room along with your whimpers and moans. the rise of your orgasm approaches you as the familiar euphoria engulfs your body. you melt into rafes touch and tremble as he finishes you off. 

he pulls away from your wet center and looks up at you drunkenly, a line of his spit mixed with your cum following the trail of his mouth. “my sweet, sweet pussy.” he says as he licks his lips and playfully pats at your core. 

rafe strips you from the halter dress that you’re wearing, leaving you barren while connecting your lips together hungrily. you can taste yourself on his lips and tongue as he engulfs you fully. stripping himself down, his cock smacks against his stomach as he groans at the release. “your pussy drives me crazy baby, its the only thing that can get me through this.” he whines as he scoops you up into his huge arms. your legs wrap around his barren waist as he lines his cock up with your entrance. “p-please rafe.. need you so bad.” you pant out, still coming down from your orgasm. your sweaty forehead pressed against his as his large dick stretches you out slowly. his large calloused hands are gripping your ass harshly as he bounces you up and down his dick, his strong legs holding the both of you up. 

rafe’s dick pounds in and out of you swiftly, reaching your cervix every time. he drills into you grunting loudly. the only sounds within the room were your skins slapping against each other. “fuck, i’m gonna cum.” rafe panted out. “you gonna let me fill you up like the dirty whore you are? you gonna let the best tennis player in the world make you a mama?” he grunted as he pounded into you fiercely. you whimpered in return “y-yes rafe, fill me up with your cum please..” you whined against him, pulling at the hair that stuck to the nape of his neck with sweat 

his eyebrows furrowed as his dick twitched inside of you, his loud grunts accompanied by the slapping of skin echoed in the locker room. “say it.” he groaned. your walls clenched against his cock as you experienced your second orgasm within 10 minutes. “rafe! you’re the best tennis player in the world.” you squealed out as you scratched his shoulders. with this, he emptied himself within you, panting and coming down from his orgasm as you milk his cock. 

he sweetly kisses your forehead and smiles softly as he sets you down, both your legs trembling accompanied by your heavy breathing. 

“you okay darlin’?” you ask sweetly, looking up at him innocently as you adjust your dress. rafe smiles down at you as he’s adjusting himself back into his adidas-sponsored gym shorts. he puts his polo shirt back on as he responds, “never been better.” you both dress and exchange comforting and loving words. the siren outside blares, reminding all that the winning set will be taking place within the next few minutes. 

you sigh as you look at him, cupping your hand around his face and softly brushing back his bangs. “you got this, rafe. remember who you are.” you grin softly at him and kiss his lips softly.

with this, you both walk out of his locker room, hand in hand. you walk back over to your seat and fidget as you stare down rafe getting his racket back out and softly stretching out his back and arms that were just supporting your body as he fucked you only just a few minutes ago. getting into place, rafe walks over to his spot on the court confidently and stretches his legs. the rest of the crowd has already settled as the umpire climbs back onto their chair. 

the silence is almost deafening as the crowd waits to see the two men compete against one another once again. the ball kid walks over to rafe as he hands him the ball smoothly. “cameron to serve.” the umpire calls out.

rafe bounces the ball up and down, staring down jackson with a smirk planted on his face. with his last dribble of the ball, rafe takes a quick glance over at you and locks his eyes with you before serving.

-

this took me days to write, but thats okay! hope you enjoy. writing smut is kinda hard so i'm open to any kind of feedback!

happy holidays!

[therandompagesblog]

Her Soul for His Soul: Chapter 1 🌞Y/n🌞

Trigger Warnings: Fear, anxiety, paranormal activity, swearing, light manipulation

I used to be scared of many things in life, horror films, violence, weeping angels, you name it, I was afraid. As I went to university things changed. I became less afraid. That was mainly due to the fact that my university was in Mystshell. A place that was rich in witchcraft. A place where the supernatural lived. That wasn't why I chose it. I chose it because I had an interest in history, the arts, the culture, the religion, the literature. Everything fascinated me about Mystshell. Its name was obvious, it was a village by the sea and a river ran through it separating each other. Mystshell was over a thousand years old and rumoured to be the home to witches and werewolves but there was never any proof. It was an attractive village, small and quaint that attracted occultist people.       I came from a large village, south of the country. A big city, that was vibrant but it had a high crime rate, but so did Mystshell. That wasn't what drew me Mystshell anyway, but I was here to study for three years before going off to be a teacher. That was my plan. If I had my way I would be sucked into SKZ Mate's books and become Straykids' mate but that was never going to happen, because shit like that doesn't exist. Stray kids don't exist; they are fictional men trapped in a book. Still, the possibility of ghosts and spirits were far more likely to exist than witches along with werewolves anyway. But tonight my friends and I were going to find out.       It was Lisa and Winter's stupid idea to buy an Ouija board from Amazon to try and connect to any spirit. Good or bad. They wanted to try. They wanted to try before Halloween because Halloween was coming up and if spirits were real, we didn't want it disrupting our night. So, we were going to do it tonight after lectures in my dorm. Why? They wanted to break my fear of the unknown. I had a fear of things going bump in the night. I hated the idea of spirits being around my room. I don't like going into graveyards at night. I definitely didn't like horror films but my friends trained me to watch them at night in their rooms every night which helped a little.       We had prepared for it. We went to the shops and bought candles and salt. Why we needed salt, I had yet to learn. Winter said it was about trapping a spirit inside. Like we would ever need to trap a spirit inside. Anyway, we had alcohol, salt, an Ouija board, and candles. Oh, yeah candles were not allowed in the dorms, because it would set the fire alarms off. It didn't though because Winter smokes in her room, so that was a lie, but sure it was a fire hazard.

HERE WE WERE STUCK INSIDE OUR LECTURE. We were supposed to be watching a clip about the history of demons but our professor had spent the last forty-five minutes trying to get the audio to work since the back row could not read the subtitles. Me and Lisa had our heads on the table, bored out of our minds while Winter was planning the night. "Is there a problem with the back table? Did we not get enough sleep." Professor Whimsical called out. "Yeah, because Winter here wants to summon a bloody spirit," Lisa called out groggily, making me laugh. "Maybe you should pay attention to this. This is very informative." "Nah, professor we want spirits, not demons," Winter answered back making me roll my eyes. She was far too determined to do this. "Demons and spirits are very similar..." Professor Whimsical continued to drone on and on about the notion of demons which we should have been listening to but to us, they were far too supernatural that we did not believe in them. Well, Winter and Lisa didn't believe in them but I would if we summoned the bloody things.       Winter was more of a ghost hunter. She chased the unknown and loved the dark. She would go to haunted houses to find things or go to séances with her grandmother to connect to a deceased family member. All of her family were spirit chasers. They were also incredibly superstitious.       Lisa on the other hand was someone who was curious. Lisa was easily led astray, like me. We would get asked to do something and then all of a sudden we were doing it. "How long have we got to go until this lecture is over?" Lisa asked me. "Um, another hour and a half. It's a three-hour lecture today!" I sighed. "Do you think we'll get a break today?" "No, I doubt it. He's on a tangent." I said shaking my head. Professor Whimsical always went off on a tangent whenever he got excited. He would always talk about his mother-in-law who was living with them. We all knew more about his unhappy life than we probably should of.       During this dull lecture, I decided to research what the salt was and how effective it was going to be using an ouija board. According to Spar.net salt is used to purify the ouija board before use to connect to the right spirit, but we didn't do that. We had only got the board, yesterday so why did we need salt? At this point, I had no idea but went with it.       Deep down I didn't believe in it, despite what Winter's grandmother had said, I didn't believe in it. Winter herself never experienced anything supernatural only in dreams, but they were dreams. Her grandmother believed she could see things, like spirits, images, figures, and objects. Her grandmother believed things moved around her house. Winter's mother and her family believed she was schizophrenic but Winter believed in her grandmother. She truly did. I think today was going to be the closure Winter needed and we would be there to support her when it happened.

AS SOON AS OUR LECTURE FINISHED WE WERE READY! By we I meant Winter and and Lisa. They were determined. They even had set up the Ouija board in my room, while I made dinner. They decorated the bedroom with candles lit ready to summon whatever was out there. The salt was drawn around it in a circle where a star presented itself in the middle. The Ouija board laid nicely on top. "Guys dinner is ready," I called out with my pasta bowl, staring down at the floor. I was feeling nervous or nauseous about this. This seemed wrong to play with the dead. They should be left alone and now we're summoning one. "You're fucking crazy," I said with a mouthful of food. I headed back to the kitchen and made myself a strawberry gin and lemonade, chugging it down. Not enough for me to hallucinate but enough to feel giddy and stable enough to go through with this. "Drink something stronger," Winter suggested but I sighed. It would be her that would hallucinate. "Let's play some Marilyn Manson. Get in the mood." "He scares me enough as it is." I laughed nervously as I looked at Lisa who shrugged her shoulders.       All that was now playing in the kitchen was 'let's get evil, feeling sacrilegious.' It was fitting as what we were about to do was technically evading a sacred space.       Winter wolfed down the food and drank a load of whisky as she could do we could hurry up and summon a spirit, whereas Lisa was getting slower and slower. She was not ready to involve herself in this. "Rules. There are a few rules. The salt is to trap the spirit so we can talk to it, but the most important thing is to say thank you and goodbye. We should always be polite." Winter slurred. This was fan-fucking-tastic. Winter is gonna fall asleep before we can all say goodbye. "We ready girls?" Winter asked. "Yeah let's do it," I said and followed Winter into my room. Sitting next to Winter on her left I watched Lisa sit on the right side of her. Winter took my hand and I took Lisa's hand, waiting to see what was going to happen in the dark room. "We call upon the spirit world and welcome any kind of spirits to walk with us." I don't welcome any spirits. Just good ones. "Spirits we call to you. Please come and talk with us." Winter moved the planchette in a circle three times, repeating the words again. "Put your hand on it. Both of you." Winter whispered. I nervously placed my two fingers on the wooden planchette feeling the cold air run through my veins as we circled the board three times. "Is there anyone there?" Wonder asked and the planchette moved to yes. I raised my eyebrow at Winter and she shook her head, telling me it wasn't her. It wouldn't be Lisa as she was stone-cold petrified. She was frozen on the spot. "Are you a good spirit?" The planchette moved back to yes before we pushed it towards the middle. It can lie. "Are you telling the truth?" Winter asked bravely. It moved to no. As soon as Winter asked for a name the candles blew out and Winter let go of the board with a scream. She was petrified as if she saw something behind me. "Put your hand on the fucking board. We have to say goodbye." Lisa panicked. She was crying and I was feeling sick. "Goodbye." Lisa and Winter said before fleeing to their room leaving me stuck to the board. "Thought we were supposed to be polite," I muttered. "Thank you spirits and goodbye."       I circled once and thanked the spirit, making sure I was polite before bidding them a goodnight. I packed up the board and put it back into the box before going into the bathroom. I pulled the bathroom light switch and nothing came on so I used my phone, clicking on data to see the group chat say something about the power going out in block D so security is coming over to fix it. I cursed Winter for this because this was an eerie coincidence. Using my flashlight I shined the light towards the mirror to see my face when I saw a black foggy figure touching my head and then everything went black.

Taglist for the iconic readers:

@silentreadersthings @ihrtlix @galaxy4489 @catlove83 @reallychaoticwoo @leezanetheofficial @linocz @hyunmikim @eastjonowhere @skzdreamer13 @mavischerry @kiaralynn3838 @jellyleggz @mihoonz @hanniesbubuwife

[emiimagination]

My Hazbin Hotel AU

Hidyho everyone 😄👋

Given the results of the poll, you all want to see the different Hazbin Hotel AUs that I have imagined. So here are my Hazbin Hotel AUs with their names and their plot.

The Deer Gods AU

In an isolated village in Ireland, the population still worships two Cervitaurs, half-deer, half-man creatures. One of blood red brings Death, the other with white fur grants Life. Hidden in a sanctuary in the heart of the forest, they protect the village and its inhabitants… until the day the Crusader Knights arrive in the Village to bring the Good Word! Between shenanigans and plots, friendship and cruelty, the Deer Gods will have to fight to survive this invasion.

Well, this AU, I have already introduced it to you ^^ Alastor and Lucifer are Cervitaurs and are Charlie's parents. Their life is peaceful until the arrival of the Crusaders led by Adam. The fiction is already available in French on AO3 and Wattpad and the translation is currently in progress.

The couples of this AU: Radioapple / Huskerdust / CherriSnake / Chaggie

The Headcanon AU

This is more of a series of fictions based on the series. You can find "The Rainbow After the Rain" and "And There Was Light…" as well as others that will offer a continuation of the Hazbin Hotel series.

The couples of this AU: past Lucilith / Radioapple / Huskerdust / Chaggie / CherriSnake / others may arrive later.

Son of the Radio AU

Alastor has a Hellborn son: Wendigo aka Wend! The young demon deer, although almost as powerful as his father, does not seek to dominate Hell but joins Princess Charlie Morningstar in her Redemption Hotel project, mainly in order to help his boyfriend: Angel Dust! However, when Alastor returns after 7 years of absence, he doesn't really seem to accept the relationship between his son and the porn actor.

This AU is the one that presents the most OCs. There are three ^^ however, this AU is the only one where I don't use the Huskerdust. Husk will still have an important role with Angel but no romance is expected for them since Angel is already in a relationship.

The couples of this AU: DeerSpider (AngelDustxWendigo) / CherriSnake / Chaggie / past Lucilith / once side Radiostatic / once side GuitarSpear / maybe Radioapple

Behind her smile AU

Alanor; known by all as the Demon of the Radio, this woman has a terrible reputation as a very powerful and extremely dangerous Overlord with boundless cruelty. But then what is she doing here, at the door of the Happy Hotel of the princess of Hell? Why would she want to join this project of redemption of Sinners? What secrets can she hide behind her smile?

Genderbend Alastor AU where Alastor is a woman named Alanor, Demon of the Radio with boundless cruelty and a dark past who hates men more than anything. But why? What could she hide?

The couples of this AU: past Lucilith / Radioapple / Chaggie / Huskerdust / CherriSnake / GuitarSpear

Let Me Be Surprised AU

Alastor has just died! But instead of falling into Hell as his life as a serial killer and cannibal would have predicted, he is pulled away from Darkness by Lucifer, a Seraph Angel who wishes to rehabilitate Sinners. But Heaven being far too calm for him, Alastor steals the watch that represents his life and winds it up to return to Earth, unwittingly dragging Lucifer with him. Now immortal, Alastor is determined to take his life back in hand and become unforgettable! And for that, he intends to use Lucifer's naivety as well as the exceptional powers of Emily and Charlie, two angel and demon twins who say they are the daughters of Lilith, the Queen of Hell!

AU inspired by this drawing by @art-from-iso, itself inspired by this song by All Dogs Go To Heaven, and by Daisies by Black Gryph0n. So we have the couple DemonAlastorxAngelLucifer and it's a kind of Human AU

the couples of this AU: Radioapple / CherriSnake / GuitarSpear / Huskerdust

Not How It Seems AU

Alastor was murdered when he was only 9 years old. But instead of going to Heaven like all children's souls, he ends up in Hell! With incredibly powerful powers, he becomes the Terrible Demon of the Radio and obtains the title of Overlord. When he hears about the Queen's Redemption project, his curiosity and desire for fun make him join the crazy adventure of the Hazbin Hotel! However, in Hell as elsewhere, things are never what they seem!

A kind of Swap AU where Alastor is the only Sinful Child, where Charlie is an angel, daughter of Michel and Sera, twin sister of Emily who was fallen and who became Queen of Hell with her wife Vaggie and who is constantly in competition for the throne with Satan, former Prince of Hell, and Lilith, First Woman who became Sin of Pride. But despite her kingdom in precarious balance, Charlie is determined to make up for her mistakes by rehabilitating the Sinners in order to stop the Exterminations led by Adam and his son Abel!

The couples in this AU: Chaggie / CherriSnake / WrathPride (SatanxLilith) / GuitarSpear one-side / Huskerdust / CarmillaxZestial

And one last AU but more based on Helluva Boss but mixed with Hazbin Hotel so here it is:

Second Chance AU

Stolas just died… he remembers feeling his last breath leave him… and yet, he wakes up in his child's body, a few days after his birthday where he met Blitzø. Realizing that he was given a second chance to live, Stolas decides to no longer lead his life to make his neglectful father proud, preferring to do everything to be happy and hoping to fix the mistakes he made in his past life. And surprisingly, the key to his happiness seems to be by becoming the adopted son of the King and Queen of Hell.

Quite old AU but which has more or less regained its meaning first with the series Hazbin Hotel (for characters such as Lucifer, Charlie and Lilith and the others) and the last episodes of Helluva Boss

The couples of this AU: Stolitz / MilliexMoxxie / Lucilith / Chaggie / Huskerdust / maybe Radioapple

And there you have it!

I know, there are a lot of them. My brain is too inspired by Hazbin Hotel 😅

So? What do you think? Which one is your favorite?

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Hello! May I just start by saying that your blog is one of the most helpful resources I've ever come across! The physiology of love has been particularly helpful for writing a very logically driven character who would absolutely go on a tangent about that kind of thing!

Now, I've encountered a recent roadblock in writing the relationship between that character and a very esoteric driven character (if you can't prove it with logic, they believe in it). The two are in a romantic relationship and get along very well, they respect and even make time to go to events regarding each other's interests/beliefs.

The problem is, they bond by debating. Like, they debate about the possibilities of the supernatural existing, do ghosts exist, etc. They don't argue, that's the key here. I... don't get it. To me, debating is arguing. If I believe something very strongly that I can back up with facts, I can get riled up in seconds if someone even jokingly goes against me.

Could you help me understand debating? Or even why some people do it to bond? It's my biggest struggle with writing these two characters and every time I try to research myself I just keep getting "benefits of debating" articles.

Hi! The first thing that came to mind after reading this was studies on sensation seeking.

Sensation seeking - the tendency to search out and engage in thrilling activities as a method of increasing stimulation and arousal.

Perhaps your characters experience debating as a thrilling activity.

Zuckerman's Sensation-Seeking Scale (SSS)

A questionnaire designed to measure the extent to which a person needs novel or exciting experiences and enjoys the thrills and excitement associated with them.

Contains 4 subscales, each containing items and phrases as a forced-choice between two distinct options:

First is thrill and adventure seeking, with items such as “I would like to try parachute jumping” versus “I would never want to try jumping out of a plane, with or without a parachute.” These items ask about desire for outdoor sports or activities involving elements of risk, such as flying and scuba diving.

The other scales are experience seeking (e.g., “I am not interested in experience for its own sake” versus “I like to have new and exciting experiences and sensations even if they are a little frightening, unconventional, or illegal”) These items refer to the seeking of new sensory or mental experiences through unconventional or nonconforming lifestyle choices;

disinhibition (e.g., “I like wild, uninhibited parties” versus “I prefer quiet parties with good conversation”). These items indicate a preference for getting “out of control” or an interest in wild parties, gambling, and sexual variety;

boredom susceptibility (e.g., “I get bored seeing the same old faces” versus “I like the comfortable familiarity of everyday friends”) reflected in items that refer to a dislike for repetition, routine work, monotony, predictable and dull people, and a restlessness when things become unchanging.

If we look at each subscale, perhaps your characters are high in "experience seeking" and "boredom susceptibility" and this might be reflected in their love of debating. As a whole, perhaps they both have what is called an HSS personality.

High Sensation-Seeking Personality

If you have this type of personality, it means you prefer to live your life with boundless energy and enthusiasm. You constantly seek out new experiences that will delight, surprise, stimulate and invigorate you – and you may indulge to excess.

Typical Characteristics of High Sensation-Seekers (HSS):

A continuous need for novel and diverse experiences that stimulate them*

A low boredom threshold*

Dislike of routines*

Doesn't respond well to authority or rules and regulations

May not be able to resist impulsive urges

A tendency to make unusual choices that may frighten those around them

HSS personalities often:

Are drawn to high-risk hobbies and sports

Build relationships that contain chaotic elements*

Like music, art and cinema that is daring and stimulating*

Challenge people by provoking raw and intense emotions*

Are fast and sometimes reckless drivers, which may be reflected in their history of accidents or speeding tickets

Become restless or depressed and even more desperate for exciting experiences if sensation is denied*

*Perhaps these characteristics and behaviours apply to your characters.

And we can always use The Five-Factor Model of Personality to help us understand certain traits and behaviours.

Using this model, we could say that your characters likely have high levels of openness and extroversion, and may not be as agreeable, to explain their love of debating.

(Of course, in reality, psychological tests and qualified assessors are needed to make these conclusions using these models, but I think that they can also be used by writers as guides for character building and development.)

Sources: 1 2 3 4 ⚜ More: Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

Thanks so much for your kind words! Really happy to hear the Physiology of Love post was helpful for you. Hope this one would be too :)