#its the care that gets me
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Just saw another Cas: "I love you." Dean gives info about the world meme and god damn. I know the "I love you" was romantic, and I understood what that meant. it's great that he was finally able to say it, even if it wasn't under the best circumstances, but it just hit me right now, and it hurts. He really did love him, and nothing really happened after that. Just thinking about what could have been is so saddening. Castiel sacrificed everything for Dean. He sacrificed his love and what could have been. Then Dean died a meaningless death.
The life they could have had if a TV network wasn't so scared of men kissing. The possibilities, right there, but still so out of reach.
Neither of them got the ending they deserved, needed. They were wronged.
Dean, living his whole life thinking he's driven by hate, madness, and anger and in the midst of all that, finding Cas. Finding Love. That then to be taken away from him as soon as he realizes that is nothing but sad. Dean had an opportunity to feel loved in a way that transcends friendship and romance altogether, and that was taken away from him in mere seconds.
#to be fair i wrote all of this after seeing a bunch of we could have had balls deep destiel memes#so sorry you had to read my in the feels poorly strung along rant#spn#destiel#supernatural#dean winchester#castiel#everytime i think about them i just go feral#what could have been#they just couldn't be happy huh#if there were letters to describe in which way i was screaming i would write them down#unfortunately they don't#its the care that gets me#they care so much#only word that can describe what i feel about them is#miserable
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Hey if people are thinking of 'stockpiling HRT' and you are doing it with Testosterone, be aware that is a controlled substance and doing this WILL GET YOU A FELONY CHARGE IF YOU ARE CAUGHT (and it would be very easy for this to happen through the way those posts reccomend).
Its your decision if you want to risk imprisonment (and then definitely losing hrt access), but be aware of the serious consequences- especially if you are recommending this to people!
If you do this with E, you get a slap on the wrist. If you do this with T its a felony. A felony charge deeply effects everything you do. Its not just hard to DYI T, its MANY TIMES LEGALLY RISKIER AND HARDER.
#'dyi hrt its fine anyone can'. Tell me you dont know or care doing that with T will get you time in prison and a permanent criminal record#stop passing posts saying to do this without this warning on it. This kind of charge ruins lives and monkey business CANNOT be relied on#'just trust that they are overworked enough to not check they filled it out right and that they will buy your lie'#the second they catch on you are FUCKED. The consequence is not 'uwu you just wont get more extra' its a court date and a cop up your ass#it is NOT fearmongering to say this. do not fuck around with controlled substances when there is a PAPER TRAIL??? HELLO?#do you want access to meds permanently revoked? A mark like that is how you get doctors to not want to give them to you Forever#wayward rambling#rebloggable but clowning will get the post locked
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renaissance dogys
characters belong to @canisalbus
#i love i loveeee ludovica sm shes so cute. ive only known her for 5 min but i fell in love with her design and i love her friendship#with vasco ^_^ i think them having each other makes hiding their sexualities a little less lonely so thats sweet#ik in modern au shes considered an old friend of vascos but i originally assumed she and vasco fake dated in college or smth#to get their parents off their backs until they came out properly and continued to stay in touch as friends after LMAO#im not very familiar with period fashion so i had to look at renaissance costumes as reference. but i have to admit i love the#high waistlines used in some of their dresses.. i have a minidress with a similar high waistline pressed against the chest and sleeves#also if u squint machete is holding a little paper bag in the 2nd photo which is supposed to be his lunch courtesy of vasco <3#idk what ludovica would wear in modern au but i thought poet shirts might suit her because theyre like somewhere evenly between#masc and femme. to me anyway.. based on observation lesbians seem to love poet shirts and i think she looks good in one#these are all shitposts.. ill draw serious art of them one of these days i promise#i listened to fools rush in and it reminds me of them.. especially when it goes 'though i see the danger there / if theres a chance#for me then i dont care' like its so poignant and bittersweet.. a little indulgent when u think of those small moments they have togethr#save me gay catholic furries... gay catholic furries... gay catholic furries save me#my art#myart#doodles#fanart#others ocs#canisalbus#fur#furry art#machete#vasco#vaschete#ludovica#sfw fur#furry#anthro
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I love dunmeshi for the like.. built in horror of consumption. Like they eat to survive, they eat to honor their prey, they eat to possibly mourn someone. Laios eats monsters because he wants to learn more about the things he loves, Senshi eats monsters to feel included in the ecosystem because he didn't fit in with the outside and with most creatures in general, Chilchuck DOESN'T eat as much as he could because eating too much could kill all the party members, Marcille eats monsters and hates it but she still does it because she'll die before she could save Falin.
#i like it when food is depicted as more than food#like its insane to want to eat things you love but also the act of knowing more about what you love is also valid#i think senshis backstory really got to me just because he eats monsters cause hes lonely#but also he eats them because he hopes one of them will taste like that one soup#because then he'll know whether he ate someone he cared about or not#i feel like you could get smn if you compared senshi and laios's opinion on food but i don't want to get into it#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#delicious in dungeon
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im certain someone else has asked this but i am Curious
#dont even care if you rb i just love Polls#for me its ideas! when im not doing a commission#have really been struggling to be 'good enough' these days#trying to use my sketchbook more so that i dont get hung up on perfection
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If you're stressing out about a part of the writing process for fanfic to the point where it's not fun anymore, just don't do that part
Post that fanfic with 1000 grammar and spelling errors. Make your characters OOC and give it a Mary Sue. It is a hobby you're sharing not a literature assignment you have to turn in by midnight
#sara shush#sorry to all the people who ask me if ill ever uber correct all the errors in my fics but i dont care enough for it#i like the fun parts of writing#like getting the story across and exploring the characters and ideas and relationships#idc if its not perfect its a fanfic#like dont get me wrong i wanna bookbind again one day so ill get around to it eventually#but if you stop having fun doing the writing then what are you writing for
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when I find a brilliant, jaw dropping, amazing x reader fic but suddenly I’ve been given a first name, last name, hair colour and eye colour
#bethsvrse#STOP TAGGING YOUR X OC FICS AS X READER#ITS EVEN WORSE WHEN YOU ISE SECOND PERSON AS WELL#LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN???#THAT WOMEN IS NOT ME#PLEASE STOP#I CANT ANYMORE#I DONT CARE IF YOU ADD X READER AT YHE END TO GET MORE READS BUT DONT ADD IT AS THE FIRST TAG???? LIKE WHAT#steve harrington x reader#eddie munson x reader#neville longbottom x reader#peter quill x reader#peter parker x reader#stiles stilinski x reader#robin buckley x reader#wanda maximoff x reader#isaac lahey x reader#remus lupin x reader#sirius black x reader#james potter x reader#george weasley x reader#fred weasley x reader#sam winchester x reader#pedro pascal x reader#han solo x reader#luke skywalker x reader#spencer reid x reader#aaron hotchner x reader#sarah cameron x reader#x reader
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Three Cowboys
#get it! because he's a little cow boy :)#would anyone care to guess what my favorite holiday isss?#continuation of castiel thursdaythen signature moon halo because its cool#ive been dreaming of making this exact image for like four years she has lived within me#time to start cramming for the superhell exam on tuesday ✌️#dean winchester#castiel#jack kline#spn fanart#supernatural#destiel#halloween
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been thinking about no-sburb/alternia escapees au
#homestuck#dirk strider#dave strider#karkat vantas#kankri vantas#by “ive been thinking” i mean “the idea wont let me sleep at night”#its just kankri trying to figure out hos to take care of a kid while the rest of his friends try to abolish the government#well. a bit more complicated than that but. u get the gist
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thinking about the way ghost doesn't hesitate to start killing shadows when graves betrays them but soap only takes one hostage
you can almost hear the voice in his head telling him it doesn't have to be this way; they can still talk it out
"i'm calling shepherd"
his first instinct when confronted with betrayal is to play it by the books: to go up the chain. that goes against everything we've seen him do. he bucks authority at every chance except for the one time he's confronted with the barrels of his allies' guns
he wants a peaceful resolution; for the first time we've ever seen, he doesn't want violence to be the answer. there has to be another fix, a solution that doesn't end with him killing the same men he's been working with; his friends
nothing's happened yet
it doesn't have to go this way
but ghost has been betrayed before. he knows the way this ends; either with him six feet under or his enemy
he doesn't hesitate
it's only when they knock alejandro out that soap shoots; when they spill the first blood and cross a line they can never come back from
only when ghost orders him to run and he has to cover his retreat
and somewhere along the line, between civilians’ screams and taunting voices, between his shaking breath and ghost steady in his ear, that naivety is stripped away; his trust turned to teeth that he uses to sink into throats of men he'd have given his life for
"be careful who you trust, sergeant; people you know can hurt you the most"
he's learned the price of trust
just like ghost did
but unlike ghost, he has someone to guide him through the aftermath
"good advice, It"
#im gonna add these to my notfics on ao3 i think i have a Lot of these floating around#a bit shorter than my other metas but i think its something that gets missed when people talk about alone#soap is a violent man#his career literally trains him to shoot first ask questions later#and yet he still tries his best to avoid blood when faced with betrayal#and you realise it actually does fit him#soap cares about the men he serves with#he wants to save the men at the crash site he checks on a downed soldier he asks about civilians about alejandros family#hes very tuned into the people around him#and he cant turn that off until hes forced to#until graves gives him a reason to hate him#and all of that previous care and consideration goes out the window#‘makes me want to commit a few war crimes of my own’#dont cross soap#you want like what happens if you do#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#talk meta to me#soap cod#john soap mactavish#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#ghoap#ghostsoap#soapghost#meta#phillip graves#graves cod#save post
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Arospec acceptance leaving peoples' bodies the moment an aro person describes themselves as loveless and/or aplatonic and doesn't actually "make up" for their lack of attraction by platonically loving other people a lot
#''aros aren't loveless they just love Differently and saying that is aphobic'' ok well I'm loveless. What about me huh#i don't love my family nor my cat! doesn't mean I don't like or care about them in some other way.#What other way you might ask? Well uh um uhh well uhh. well its uhh yeah. well uhhhhh um uhhh some other attachment uhhh you get me right#mine#sewerynpost#aromantic#loveless aro#aplatonic#<- for the tag followers. pspspspspspsps
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despite Laios low self esteem making him think that if he’d been eaten, Chilchuck and Marcille wouldn’t have helped Falin,
theres a small part of me that thinks the reason Chilchuck stayed with the party and went back in the dungeon in the first place was because he didn’t want to leave Laios alone. That Laios was moreso the reason he stayed.
#dungeon meshi#chilaios#OK SORRY. THE DEMONS. I REALLY DID NOT WANT TO LIKE THIS PAIRING. I DIDNT. BUT. HHH. FHFHJFJV. I FEEL CRAZY. LET ME EXPLAIN.#Pre canon it seems Laios is the person Chilchuck is really the closest to#He gets along with Namari and they are probably way better as buddies than he and Laios but#He and Laios seem *closer*#If that makes sense#Laios calls him his first name enough and without any issue or hesitation from Chilchuck#That I sort of inagine its not like. A misunderstanding. Laios is on a first name basis with him for a reason.#He also worries probably more than anyone about Laios#And his biggest criticism of him is that hes “reckless”#he’s comfortable around Laios in a very specific way and so is Laios around him#and in the series he shows many times that he’ll risk his life to protect Laios#Like staying with him to confront the elves because he was worried Laios would say something stupid#Hes the first one to run up to him when Falin punches him#I mean I think he was also going back for Falin like its not like I think he doesn’t care about her or anything#He clearly does#But I don’t know if he’d have gone back if Laios hadn’t#And if Laios had been eaten I think he wouldn’t have even had to be convinced by Falin#I also think Marcille would’ve gone back for him but probably more bc Falin was going back#Like sort of a reversed thing#AGAIN not that I don’t think she cared about Laios at the beginning either#But she before the story she was mostly Falin’s friend who knew Laios through Falin#She only really got to know him when Falin got eaten and they had to do a team building exercise#Though now I sort of want to see an actually reversed scenario#Bc we also know that Chilchuck is sort of uncomfortable around Falin (said in relationship chart)#So I would love to see them be forced into a team building exercise to find a person they both love the way Laios and Marcille were
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something silly from yesterdays evening class
...
#liu qingge#luo binghe#mu qingfang#cameo from shen qingqiu also lol#anyway i only had my too hard pencil with me and a bigass eraser so its nothing much but who cares i thought its funny hjksf#LBH outside like wow this is..so stupid#LBH inside 'is that an important quality shizun looks for in a man?? am I delight at the doctors?? (thinks back to the kidnapping incident)#meanwile lqg being delusional king godspeed#not single one out of them is a good patient btw all of them are on thin ice#also i think mqf gets exasperated with everyone becasue everyone on that mountain is a disaster but doesnt show it usually#mostly just passive agression cuz hes professional and serene and all taht#BUT#i think it would be funny if LQG just grinds his gears so much with his reckless behaviour#so that most of the time hes the one who pushes him to actually outwardly snap#fhdjkshfk
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congrats on your recovery n all yuuji but unfortunately for you I thought the scars were cool >:/
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#these took so long i kept getting distracted cries#but they r done and this is yuuji's post canon scar map to me. argue with a wall we should have had this#looks at canon this sign won't stop me bc i cant read >:(#smh robbed!!!!!! the potential!!!!! the aesthetic!!!!! th angst the symbolism!!!!!!#gege i respect u i do not want beef after u let my boys live#but u rly couldnt have scuffed him up a LITTLE more.....there were so many to choose from didnt u have a favourite.....#all he has to show fr all that r two little scratches. rly.#((not counting the ear n fingers thank god i get That much))#anyway i made a whole post abt why i think yuuji should have kept the scars n what it would have stood for symbolically#its along th same lines as the yuuji Big Face Scar agenda hh i just care a lot abt character design n visual storytelling ok#anyway fine he can keep the eye but in this house it grew back wrong it's lighter and foggy and now his prescription is stronger#as fr the rest#megumi has dibs on the upper right eye apparently so yuuji can have the bottom half#i would have doubled down on the scars on his left but a. the right side is the symbolic one#b. he healed an entire eye so it makes sense tht he'd heal other more minor injuries as well#c. tbh it's mostly based on what looked good i think this arrangement guides the eye across his face nicely#gave him a lil nose nick bc smth smth sukuna idk it's just there to balance things out#also as i said. the jaw and neck scar are there for kissing purposes i make the rules im salty and i do what i want smile#in other news thank u past hina fr doing those hair render studies im very happy with my yuuji hair as of late
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Is this anything ?
#elden ring#sote#shadow of the erdtree#shadow of the erdtree spoilers#sote spoilers#moby dick#moby dick spoilers#its almost 200 years old but you never know#captain ahab#drake knight igon#shitpost#igon is a required summon for the bayle fight for me#i dont care if you're doing a challenge run or no summons or whatever#that man's performance is like 50% of the enjoyment for me#its just not the same if i dont get to hear ��CURSE YOU BAAAYYYLE” as im getting pummeled against the fog door
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Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.
Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?
Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.
The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.
Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.
It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.
I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.
He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.
#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#STANLEYYYYYY#STANLEY THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU STANLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sharky rants#Just. Imagine the fucking shame you have to live with#the shame that you can never be yourself. That anything you were is unwanted and forgotten#The shame of just BEING- Of taking space of- of /breathing-/#Imagine the world; your friend; your family; your colleagues being so ashamed of having known you#that you feel more comfortable with a persona to present.#You feel more comfortable stealing the identity of someone you care for deeply if only to help#If only to feel capable for once. To feel like you belong- Like youre doing something good for once#Imagine the shame that brings you to be comfortable not being yourself for 40 years.#ALL CASE YOU BROKE ONE FUCKING PROJECT??????? COME ON#I mean- the deeprooted shame was started from earlier. He was 'the stupid twin“; 'the troublemaker”; “the cheat and thief”#This was a long time coming#But those werent MISTAKES- The one time he genuinely made a Mistake he lost everything#Like he really mattered so little to the people around him#and he cant really blame them.#My cousin is a genius. Hes smart and academically achieved since I was a baby.#The only thing I had that he didnt was my ability to draw. to be creative. The guy for the longest time had a better social life then me too#I used to get brought to tears seeing his accomplishments- seeing people praise him. The shame lived in me any time I had to see him#The shame that I was the black sheep of the family next to the golden standard for a son- for a student- for a friend.#when I was none of those things#And Im lucky he was my cousin- cause if he was my brother that would have haunted me EVERY DAY rather then once or twice a year#Im better with it now; Im more content with who I am- But trauma dump aside-#I very very very much understand Stans shame in being the stupid one. The unachieved one in a family full of achieved people#the shame thats angry at him for being better. at the family for treating him special. and most of all at yourself that you cant be better#its a visceral feeling that I sadly understand
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