#its still coming out sometime tho
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Hi I really like ur Tadc OC but I only saw two posts ab them and was wondering if u could tell me more about him? If they have an elaborate background or something ofc. Or maybe even just some art? Really love his design btw
Oh yeah, apologies for that! I kinda kept him away stored for a while because I didn't exactly knew what to do with him, but now I'm brainstorming some stuff, I think he's ready to have more screentime
by all means, have some dawson by the moment
#glad you like his design!! i think he's one of my best oc designs in a long time#tadc#my art#art#tadc fanart#the amazing digital circus#tadc oc#oc tag#fanart#pomni#jax#tadc jax#tadc pomni#i had a comic idea featuring him and pomni but i'm still figuring out the execution#its still coming out sometime tho#doodle
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TRASH 🚮 Speedpaint | Alt under cut:
#artists on tumblr#illustration#original character#ibblescribbles#ibbleoc#ibbleoc_ai#guess i should change his character tag to that#thats his name!!!!!!#watch the speedpaint if only for the music pls i love the music selection#ummm i feel like i had more to say#i worked hard on this piece#lowkey afraid it will flop bc its oc art but also oh well im still happy with it#i got the internal validation and dopamine hit out of it already#i hope people come to love and have interest in my ocs tho#i just gotta draw them 1 billion times#this was very self indulgent#i like blood#i like tears#i like uhmmmm i like shoes#oh yeah ig i should put cw's#tw blood#tw bullying#tw cigarettes#all i can think of but lmk if you need another tw? i will try my best to remember when i srb but heads up i can forget sometimes#so if illustrated content like this bothers you; you may want to unfollow!
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#helllloooo alll. I thought it'd be perfect to come back today#today is my bdayyy yaaay. ✨#its one of those melancholic ones#when u ponder your existence#but its okay#watched ai no wakusei since it was made in 2004 like me 😔💔#btw#i hope ill be able to ne more active here again#ive just been really busy w school n life and my mental health went 20000 steps down so yes. i hope itll just get better#this bday is always bittersweet#well since its the 19th#itll always be#honestly ive been avoiding subrosa even until now cuz my mental health is so shit i cant even imagine how subrosa will make me feel. but im#on it. i honestly miss all of u guys so much. ye probably not many of u care but still#i like this place. it feels somewhat like home. even tho i still feel out of place sometimes its still comforting being here. whatever lol#havent yapped in a while so im vomiting words. love you all. im hoping the depressive episode will leave my ass finally.#u know its bad when u havent watched bt lives since around mid november#but its okay ai no wakusei somewhat healed me. so im hoping for the best now (says this every month and ends up worse)#yeah.#🥰#buck tick#atsushi sakurai#ameoto ha Chopin no Shirabe#even if i cant come back yet im thinking abt all of u n love u. take care of yourselves and yes. do stuff you love. smell roses. look at th#moon that's been soooo beautiful lately 🥺 love#Spotify
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the 锦衣之下 fic is actually fucking lit on lofter fr i am livingggggggggg
#but fuck is it hard to locate any . 🚗. like. the moment that stuff comes out#it's detective time to try to find the chapter sequence sometimes its on ao3 soemtimes its not!#holy shit im having the time of my life#锦衣之下#under the power#ponz.txt#late to the party but the fics are still up thankkk#the lofter ads are killing me tho
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my sibling is starting to write fic and it's so. like they've been drawing for forever and never seem insecure about art. but writing is still new to them! so the fic isn't working how they want it to. i got to point at their pile of like, 20 something filled full size sketchbooks and go, look, you've made all this art, practiced all this time to be good. and how many things have you written? 3? you keep going! you keep doing it and it will be countless one day!
#ramble tag#my siblings... i get mushy when it comes to them#truly nothing in life is more important than my babies. who are not babies but beside the point#(THEYLL BE ADULTS SOON. SOB.)#feels so inappropriate to post about them on this blog but as i have said before. they follow my main#i just need to talk about them sometimes or I'll just lie in bed and cry lmao#sibling i started this post talking about is so smart and creative and fucking /organized/ as all hell#honestly both my siblings are scary driven#it would make me cripplingly insecure if i didnt just love them so damn much. if i wasnt so fucking proud of them#i hate that i couldnt be someone more worth looking up to but i am beyond overjoyed to see them grow into their own regardless#these two are possibly up there as the smartest people ive ever met even if theyre still just teenagers#i can't wait to see who they turn into. who they'll grow up be#(always be my babies in addition tho)#i see the world in them#im immeasurably happy to have the siblings i do#really starting to realize that yknow what? im not missing anything by being aro#by not having much (if any) sexual/romantic shit in my life#those two are my pride and joy and make me happier than any of that ever could#anyways this is a secret dont tell them i said that#psa dont talk to me about my siblings i can keep going until i pass out#god took everything that is Good and put into these precious tiny humans and im just lucky enough to be here !!!#ok i need to stop. its 2am hi
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I'm at the painful "confession" scene during the kage summit arc. It really is so emotional, but also... hm.
When I was younger, like 13 or so, I was a big Sakura and Naruto shipper. They were the first pairing I read fanfic for even. And in a way, I do still enjoy the two of them together... but it's moments like these that really drive home the fact that it Doesn't really work in canon. Not the way that it's set up.
As Sakura puts it, "Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke! That's all you think about!"
She's told that Naruto has feelings for her and decides to use it to convince him to stop going after Sasuke. She does love him, but not in the way she's trying to confess. The love they share is one of comradery, not necessarily romantic. The love of two people who have gone through such pain together, and who have leaned on each other throughout it all. And the fact that she's turning around and saying she loves him "simply like everyone else", now... it's trivializing. And the fact that she's trying to convince him of this, the fact that she thinks she Can convince him of this, is pretty hurtful. They've come a long way from when they were kids, Naruto the goofball vying for her attention while she yelled at him for being stupid. Sakura respects Naruto so much more than before, and Naruto respects her too. So the fact that she's still doing this... She's desperate, really. She thinks the promise he made to her to bring Sasuke home is what's driving him to let himself be hurt over and over and over again in the pursuit and protection of Sasuke.
But she's wrong.
That may be part of it, but it's only part. Naruto wants Sasuke back for himself, too. He let himself be beat up to avoid selling him out. He chases after him with single minded determination. Sasuke is his entire drive to get stronger, to catch up, to bring him home. Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke indeed.
As it is, Naruto knows she's lying to herself. And no matter what she says, he will keep going after Sasuke. Because that's just the person that Naruto is.
#speculation nation#fanny watches naruto#i think. naruto and sakura could potentially work out... but probably in a poly kind of situation.#because naruto will never forget about sasuke. and tbh neither will sakura. at least in canon.#of course i think sakura would do well to end up with someone more level headed. like ino.#someone without all the Complications that those two have...#but at the same time. i still do really love the idea of two people supporting one another through thick and thin.#i like naruto and sakura as a pairing of mutual respect. which is why it doesnt truly work as it is in canon.#especially when it comes to things like the 'joke' punches. but that's Everywhere in this anime.#female characters' anger being turned into jokes. theyre 'scary' but its not Actually scary.#naruto taking punch after punch from her for being foolish. yet it's all just a joke.#tbh id want to do away with that trope entirely. sakura has a temper but she's a good person. a kind soul.#i dont like that kishimoto has her being casually abusive with one of her best friends.#yet another part of the misogynistic writing that i hate.#sure enough. as it is in canon it just doesnt work. but ykno what. 13 year old me is still here. and wants to think of a way that it Could.#all things to think about. i wonder if there is any poly fic with the 3 of them. theres Gotta be.#though that brings the question of whether it'd even fit my ideal concept of the 3 of them.#it's certainly not the popular kind of thing lol. most people pick one of the three pairings between them.#but ya kno what. ive always been a multishipper. and poly ships really enable that truth of mine.#maybe i'll look for some poly fic sometime. just to see if theres anyone doing it like id wanna see.#if it's just two guys fighting over one girl or something tho im Outta there.#and ALSO theres something to be said for sasuke and sakura's relationship when they were kids.#there was trust there. confiding. he respected her. & in the end. he thanked her for her care.#cant be Just the two of them tho. for me. bc that erases naruto's significance to them both.#it is perhaps another thing i'll want to write someday. just maybe.
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hhhh talking about my writing was fun but 30 tags is not enough.. yes i have 3 major influences but i have minor ones too.. it is a lovechild of my favorite things.. writing is so fun and i have no self control or a concept of pacing myself i will sit there for 16 hours and get hit with every status effect but by god does it all just flow out of me. I've always been a music person yes but i also used to write a lot into early adulthood until The Incident™
but i am ready 2 jump back into it. i think comics are a great middle ground between the two mediums so i don't get As into writing bc i kind of started going crazy last time 🫡 i can take a more structured approach to it that forces me to pace myself and think about it differently. i love art.... i love making things i love knowing how to do things i love knowing how to play things i love having so many creative outlets, even if i don't do a lot of them regularly lol. it is enriching 😳 and nice to know that it's always there to come back to when u want.
#if u want the tea my imagination at the time was like i could space out and straight up just be another person POV doing every little#thing as if i were them for hours and the experience would come together without having to even think about it.#different times/places/contexts/conversations etc. forced 2 to to my mom's lil cult meetings for 2 hours twice a week#i would opt to do these imagination exercises instead to rly put myself in a character's perspective. every step‚ stumble‚#riding in a carriage together for the entirety from point A to B etc. WELL i was working on a horror anthology somewhere 18/19#(that had a small local following 🫶🏾) and it its concept was like the Twilight zone but a lot darker. it was called interdimensional#and the main recurring character never actually shows up in the story. they r an omnipresent god of death who exists everywhere but#exists outside of our realm‚ and it picks random people to reveal itself to as a symbol. it can be apparent or just in passing that#the entry's MC sees it in‚ it will appear on something somewhere and once it's brought up it's a cue to the reader that this person#has just been sent to an alternate reality that leads towards their inevitable death. for the character nothing ever changes immediately#but the different starts to creep its way in‚ as does death's approach at its crescendo but the path's i took to get there were 😨#and after enough entries i started to see the symbol irl and hallucinate some other stuff from my stories and it really scared me#and made me stop 🫡 but i think in retrospect i just went too hard on the imagination exercises and wished i tried cultivating it instead#give myself time to settle and get in control.. but alas‚ she has not written seriously since. to this day it still flows out of me if#i just sit down to do it‚ but i don't think I'm at risk of something like that happening again anymore :3 so yeah ♡ i am learning how to#draw and trying not 2 force it bc i want it to b fun as a little journey for me and i look forward to the day i can come back to actively#writing again too 🫶🏾 i miss it but i also want to b able to draw ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა#learn the hard thing first then do the stuff that comes naturally.... i also want to get back into music sometime but clearly i got a lot of#other stuff to work on 💀 i burnt myself out on it learning too many things and not having enough fun with it anymore‚#but i have a better healthier with art these days and i know it'll be great to come back to when I'm ready 😌💕#i have been considering getting an acoustic or bass guitar tho 🧐 the beauty of physical instruments.. they're just there ready 2 go..#I've been doing mostly digital the past few years‚ when i was making music. it was also rly hard to when i was w my ex ૮ – ﻌ–ა#that's a whole other rant lol. but ugh digital is like u gotta set it up u gotta make space and then u gotta be in one spot the whole time#i just wanna lay in bed and vibe or something yfm.. walk around maybe idk. do something less structured.#maybe.. hm. hmmm 🧐#I'm going to guitar center lol c ya ✌🏾 getting a bass and amp and maybe a guitar too depending on the price
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The reason why English feels so distant and people find it easier to express their feelings and emotions in English is because English has become so common that it loses its meaning. The English language itself has evolved into just a means of translation.
#English itself has kinda lost its beauty like yk what I’m saying ?!#not saying English isn’t beautiful but um sorry compare to other languages English is shit lmao#English basically stole most words from other languages anyways#like idk English has become basic yk??#I still love English but idk other languages are too underrated#I think what I hate most is how most people (especially native English speakers) don’t bother to learn other languages and thus other cultur#and that frustrates me sm like how can u not love learning other languages?! and thinking one is sufficient???#how ignorant are u to think that only knowing English is enough when there’s like 7000 languages out there#like I love English with my entire heart but sometimes I wish other languages will be more common too#I wanna force everyone to be fluent in at least two languages like come on that’s bare minimum#ik it’s hard tho but like it’s worth it#English language#English literature#literature#history#English
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another dump cos i sorta kinda like these...friends and family
#dino.png#cyberpunk 2077#myV: léo-vincent valentine#that name so annoying to type out#random léo-vin infodump of the day: he (and...only he😭) doesnt see the way hes cuddling up w panam as romantic. if they ever were to#i mean...he sortakinda romanced her. didnt get to basilisk yet. but he didnt do any of the romance options until she made a move#and even then...léo-vin is...🗿. he just goes along w whatever ppl want sometimes.#this is sometimes. also in general...terrible at romance he has no healthy perception of it soo...!#he genuinely cares for panam a deeply but like. his borderline unhealthy attachment to johnny is not helping anything#he often lets ppl decide their relationship with him bc he doesnt make any efforts to like maintain relationships w ppl that much#mama welles knows this well but he always stumbles into el coyoté at least....once every few months#if she calls he will come tho lol#in canon timeline (so dying) he would completely distance himself in hopes that his death doesnt sadden her (this is stupid) (it still will#so johnny being physically incapable of leaving him...tho it was invoulantarily he weasled his way in like jackie did#nd V ultimately does not want to be alone. so....ya!#AND SCENE#anyways. i have so much lore written for him its so fun. highly recommended.
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*takes my last adderall so i can finish all my work in one day*
*finishes one (1) assignment*
*gets distracted and spends the rest of the day hyperfocusing on delicious in dungeon again*
#i rewatched half the anime last night cause i was too tired to do anything else#i even almost got sucked into reading the manga again the other day but forced myself to stop after 1 chapter#def gotta buy hard copies#this is one of if not the only thing i can enjoy multiple times IN SUCCESSION!#actually i was like this with turning red and spiderverse too but#dunmeshi is different.... dunmeshi is special..... my enjoyment of it is more than just the animation or the art.....#ive never felt this particular way about anything but i've always wanted to#in the past my fanart often felt a little forced even tho i liked those things it was hard to get excited about anything#i think dunmeshi is partially responsible for my depression being in remission#literally#the only depression i feel since spring is about financial problems or being lonely#tangible stuff#but it's not the deep internal depression ive felt for most of my life#idk how to explain but like there's layers to depression#the easier kind to heal from is based in identifiable current issues like loneliness or financial troubles or grief or burnout#then theres the kind that comes from complex trauma or i think sometimes its genetic too#i thought that part would only go away once i solved the surface level stuff and could heal thorugh positive experiences to contradict#the pathways my brains formed overtime via trauma#but although ive had a few moments that have helped#i think dunmeshi. moving out of my old apt where i lived with 3 cishet men into an apt with 1 chill roomie. having time over summer to#get used to a self made routine (despite having MANY financial issues and still not being able to spend it how i planned)#all that is mainly what helped!#like for the first time i was getting excited abt stuff!#i still kinda struggle tho with maintaining that excietment#except with dunmeshi!#it's like no matter what my excitement hasn't diminished#thats very comforting#i gotta force myself to engage in more media so i can find more things to love#i have a habit of putting off things i know ill love bc i wanna be ready for it#so that if i do love it ill have the time and energy to get inspired and make fanart
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yeah I'm not gonna talk abt it am I...
#well thats okay. eventually itll come up naturally. and if not well. it doesnt make me feel very okay. but its not a big deal#and i guess ill meet ppl in the future who will curate a different idea of me and maybe therell be fewer misunderstandings#<- coward who CAN communicate to save their life but not in any lower stakes situation for their happiness n quality of life#we <3 repression n insecurity. maybe if i keep digging at the corner of this bit of the labyrinth with my spoon ill get out someday 😌#anyway.. theres my daily vague vent post got it out of my system#wanted to do it earlier but ended up not having much time after work n then called friends which was nice :^)#also i never have signal at work these days.. my boss has said shell get me on the staff wifi tho cuz i do need it for work reasons#its rare to need it for work purposes bc we all use work pcs n stuff anyway and not rly supposed to use mobiles in the lab#but yeahh.. god i have so much admin shit to sort out also gotta text family back before i sleep i forgot to earlier#its all good.. also my memory foam pillows turned up so i no longer have to steal my roomies extra one for my neck pain <3#ik she was missing it... not to sound like a creep but it was nice that it smelled like her a little. just familiar innit#we're always around each other so its just what being home smells like to me.. listen i have a sensitive nose 😔✋️#if we were a lot closer i would ask if i could sleep in her bed while shes away but we're not so it would come across sooo weird..#and i would feel rly weird abt someone sleeping in my own room without me there. well maybe not actually. as long as they werent snooping#<- guy whose mother used to go thru their shit all the time n struggles to not feel paranoid and distrustful when it comes to privacy#was thinking recently my ideal living situation w a partner would be separate rooms but we still share the bed sometimes#but not every night bc im a sensitive sleeper... but we can switch bedding so i can still smell them if i wake up in the night alone#like how new mothers trying to get babies used to cot sleeping each have a cloth or blanket and swap every night#so the baby is comforted by the blankets smell and sleeps more peacefully.. and momma finds it easier being apart from the baby too#sorry this is getting gooey and weird my meds have been wearing off the last couple hours im so sleeppyyyy 😭#well.... maybe everything can wait until tomorrow..... bed is calling..#goodnight everyone muah#.diaries
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yknow, it is kinda weird that they made paul’s gliscor a recurring character with a sympathetic story about being driven out from its home and unintentionally creating this whole gligar pack (trapping them all in the city with it), getting ash’s gligar as an underling, implied it was going to be a rival to ash’s gligar, tying ash and paul’s teams together even tighter with the chimchar conflict, and then they just. didnt do anything with her after she beat gligar’s ass that one time
#her story never comes up again either#its weird bc like. pauls pokemon arent devoid of personality or substance even tho he does swap them around#i guess maybe they were concerned about the audience getting confused and not telling which is which once gligar evolved#but like idk thats an easily solvable issue to me. she’s already smaller than paul’s. why not give her an accessory to make her stand out?#this is the game where you dress up your pokemon. bunearys got a little vest sometimes#i mean. i guess maybe they didnt know where to put a potential resolution… i mean i think its important that ash only beats paul at the leag#league#and i think gliscor vs drapion in that battle is more cohesive and maybe a gliscor v gliscor confrontation would’ve distracted from the infe#infernape stuff#which is way more important than the gliscor stuff#but idk. maybe replace staraptor in that one ring catching competition with gliscor and paul uses his own gliscor#and ash keeps gliscor on the wind training episode and gliscor has learned to master the wing#wind#something paul’s couldnt do and was the whole reason they got trapped in the city#and seeing ash’s gliscor surpass it in that way makes it respect her#and when she defeats it its like closure for both of them#and that still gives them a resolution in their own episode without giving ash a battling win over paul before the league#but in the show itself… they dont even mention that ash’s gligar was paul’s gliscor’s underling#they just play it off as a power imbalance bc shes unevolved#(even tho i think she’s panicking bc thats her old boss but WHATEVER)#echoed voice#no one understands her like me
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ok not to get more deeplore and i know i just said i wasnt gonna take this seriously oopsies (I’M NOT I PROMISE) but
#baka bants#im a liar im a pussyi only feel safe in the tags still#so here i am in the tags#anyways Ive brainvommed this all to rae already but to be like. bcos this is basically my glorified (extrahorny) diary#i think i was just suffering from fomo and wanting to make sure i was posting when everyone else was because it was so active#and it was the height of all activity and like i didnt wanna miss out on the new wave of the new fandom or WHATEVER#or wanting to constantly be involved in everything/have a head start#and then i was dreading the inevitable deathof tumblr again once quarantine lifted and everyone went on with their lives#(which it did happen obvi) but i guess coming back and seeing that#people are still here? like the fandom still exists albeit the majorit tof people moving on or out of tumblr#and it feels?? like just(???? home??? in a calm chill way like#my friends are still here and even tho its not like a million things happening every day#its calm and chilled and i gues all im teying to say is#i was scared of being left still here when everyone moved on so i moved on first but people r still here so#it makes me feel?? secure#i ??? DOES ANY OF THAT MAKE SENDE#IM JUST EXTRA VULNERABLE ON A WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON I GUESS#BASICALLY WHAT IM SAYING IS SOMETIMES I THINK ABT HOW SAUSAGE PARTY HAS A VERY REAL AND ACTUALLY ACTIVE FANDOM#AND IM NO LONGER WORRIED ABT MY ANIME FANDOM DYING OUT#(but in all actuality like;; the hp fandom and evedy superwholock fandom is still VERY much alive and well)#(so im just being a pussy tbh and emotional for no reason)#(ifbuou have resd this im so sorry for this moaning and being emosh for no reason HAHAHA I LOVE U THANK U FOR PUTTING UP WITH THIS)#EX OH EX OH#!!!! <3333
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Being high energy while sick feels insane. Like my brain is telling me I should lay down and rest but is also telling me I should run around in circles and break things.
#i think im getting better tho. i mean i still can feel my warped sickyness but idk my hormones maybe have me all fucked up#but like i told my mum i get these insane little hypomanic-esque episodes and she was immediately like could b ur hormones#i know a number of ppl like that. and i was like YES. thats obviously what it is but nothing comes up when i try to google things abt it#so there must b others out there. and it also implies that theres sometimes fucked up about my serotonin receptors bc when im like kinda#positively disregard i feel happy and i never feel happy. my typical emotional state is indifferent and apathetic#and then dips into light misery and very miserable but not like clinically depressed. but i was even like that while on vacation so even#removed from the stresses in my life i still am not happy. which is y its so hard when ppl r like do what makes up happy. relax#and im like. ok but like nothing works??? its either fucked up hormones or my lantent anxiety just keeps me from being happy#but whatever. im gathering so much data. when i go see a doctor im gonna pull out a spreadsheet and graphs and notes like a lunatic#bwahhh i wanna run. i have too much energy. fuck being sick. fuck having to work on a day off. fuck this#also fuck my menstrual cycle for being so short. like so short its sometimes not listed with the healthy range but only sometimes#just to make me think. i should probably talk to a doctor but. like its probably fine. its consistent so its fine#annoying. annoying. got u can tell when out of wack bc i post too much and cant shut thr fuck up lol#unrelated
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I’m having fun don’t mind me (I’m going through the process of trying to absorb another art style somehow)(this isnt it but its. Uh. Better, totally)(I’m not proper studying ok leave me alone-)
#my art#art#sketch#traditional art#welcome home#welcome home au#wally darling#mazebound wally#au by @itskorry#wh au#my oc#my oc sketch#wally darling au#traditional artist#traditional drawing#traditional sketch#He’s definitely my husband; my wife; my partner in crime /j#Lowkey. thinking about how it sucks that my interests just turn off sometimes#Can’t have more than one fixation at a time </3 and I rarely go back to one from before despite having interest still#Its truly heartbreaking#Sometimes they briefly come back tho for me to love them silly goobers#I’m gonna be tryna evolve as a person; definitely definitely#(this character is def not a gateway in trying to figure out shit)#Definitely haven’t been tryna think up namey names
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i think ichi would still go into work while suffering from *gameritis and hes so brave for that he's so committed
#snap chats#*aka playing videogames too much to the point of his wrist hurting from pushing the buttons so much#aka. me LMAOO OWWW OWIE OUCH VIDEOGAMES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FUN NOT PAIN#the alternative is him calling arakawa at like 8AM in pain and shit all 'boss... im real sorry... i wont be able to make it today...'#and then instead of ichi like. Dying it's just cause dragon quest 6 came out and he binged all of it over the weekend#CRYING at the thought arakawa keeping up with videogame releases just to know when to esp look after ichi#like Hey Totally Unrelated Don't Think About It But I Got Someone To Cover You This Weekend.... that kinda b ☠️☠️#and then its like Oh Wow New Game Coming Out Friday What Luck :))) ☠️☠️☠️#sometimes he'll put his foot down dont worry.... theres SOME limits to how lenient arakawa can be....#n e way. i cant feel my thumb and my tendon feels funky.. so i am no longer playing games and i am Doing My Job....#luckily my drawing wrist isnt affected but still.. lmao..#im almost done with the sketches for them so then i can just send those off to my commissioners and then ima do a quick lil doodle#either that or ill sketch a comic... tho whenever i do that i end up never doing them..#might convert it to a fic but anyway back to work
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