#its still a really weird beautiful work that i will think about forever but it does not inspire joy in me in its last chapters

[termagax]

re: "good girl" i think they say it once randomly as a joke and its just one of those things that gets him wayyy more than they expected it would. so now its their secret weapon and they use it very sparingly and every single time he gets super embarrassed about it but it works ill tell you what.

[neolxzr]

oh also what are your thoughts on the recent hnk chapters I read them and they shattered my heart

I DONT EVEN KNOW ANYMORE you know at one point i was so upset by chapter 98 and 99 that i completely blocked it out of my memory and forgot about it for a while. that was funny. i was so upset when my friend reminded me what happened

but anyways hnk is such a beautiful piece of writing and it also makes me want to explode and crawl in a hole and die maybe. like i cant say that this sort of ending is completely unprecedented hnk is an odd series but like 99 and onward feel so strange and disconnected from everything else. i think thats mostly due to phos not even being phos anymore really and all of the other characters being out of the picture so it barely feels like the same series anymore. which im sure is like, the point, but still

i dont really know how it makes me feel. bad, mostly. i think its the kind of. lack of closure?? for phos? like when i think about hnk i think about phos and their relationships with like. shinsha and antarc and cairngorm and others but like none of phos' relationships really got any kind of proper closure. and it makes me feel miserable and awful. we all moved on but i stayed at ill find you a new job thats better and more fun. you know

[jasmineoolongtea]

Okay I have a weird request but since you're so good at writing I'm gonna shoot my shot lol. No pressure though! How about a huge misunderstanding between reader and jjk men (and boys), where one is somehow convinced the other is cheating (tho they're not and are totally loyal!) and it causes a big argument with one of them walking out and saying "I'm done." But then when they realise there was no cheating going on it's soft and sweet and full of apology? You can add whoever you'd like, though would love to see Gojo, Geto and Nanami!

a/n: hii anon thank you for your compliments <333 honestly when i saw the words 'weird request' i was thinking in a completely different direction from this but this request is totally normal so do not worry about it at all !!! also so sorry this took a while to get out back to you anon i had to study for and take my driver's licence test ;-; hope i can do your request justice and hope you enjoy it !!!

if anyone had asked gojo satoru what he thought of his relationship, his answer would undoubtedly be that it was rock solid, that nothing could ever phase the two of you, not even the end of the world, and he would probably take off with a skip in his step as he makes his way to go shower you in affection.

so then, if that was true, why was there a pang of an ugly and uncomfortable feeling making its way up his throat at the sight of someone else's jacket wrapped around your figure.

"i'm home, toru!" you cheerily announce, as usual, exhaustion from the day melting off your body as you shed your belongings at the entryway to your apartment. it's been a long day and there's nothing more that you would like to do than to slink back into bed and into your lover's forever warm embrace.

however, unlike usual, satoru does not greet you with a bright grin to sweep you up in his arms and pepper your face with kisses. instead, he stands motionless in the hallway, his face a mixture of emotions. he doesn't meet your eyes, choosing to glare at the new unfamiliar article of clothing with a sense of contempt.

eerily, satoru is silent. you can't help but attempt to shake off the feeling that something's wrong.

"what's that?" he asks, monotone, his voice is devoid of its typical energy and affection like you're nothing more than a stranger, or perhaps something even worse.

"oh, this?" you look down at yourself and suddenly remember that you were still wearing your co-worker's jacket. "ah right, i forgot a co-worker gave this to me earlier when i was complaining that the ac was too cold." you remark, brushing past him as you move to hang up the jacket on the apartment's coat rack.

you hum absent-mindedly to yourself as you do, thinking to yourself that satoru just probably had a rough day, no thanks to the higher-ups of course, and that was the reason for his strange demeanour today. your back is facing towards him as you pipe up, "remind me tomorrow to return this to him when i head for work."

'him', a bitter taste fills his mouth. there's a heaviness at the bottom of his gut, one that threatens to pull him down with it the more he thinks about it. he soon realises what this feeling is; it's jealousy, an emotion that he thought he was better than, that is gnawing its way into his mind and his vision becomes clouded. he grits his teeth, his jaw tense up.

"right, of course, you're in such a hurry to see him again." he scoffs off-handily to himself. there's a bitter edge to his words and this doesn't go by unnoticed by you.

you turn to face him fully, your lips drawn into a tight line. there's a hidden insinuation lying behind his words, one that you don't necessarily appreciate. "what are you trying to imply here, satoru?"

he decides it would be better to spit it out than to let it fester there on the tip of his tongue. "are you seeing someone else?"

your jaw drops at his accusation. "are you serious? is this really how you see me satoru?" you question, your beautiful face twisting into an expression of deep pain.

a wave of regret instantly washes over him.

satoru doesn't respond and you take his silence as his answer. your throat suddenly feels tight as you choke out, "look, if you're really going to be like this. i-i don't think i can do this anymore." you turn away from him, making your way towards the entrance as you hurriedly scoop up your belongs in a half hazard manner.

you're unsure on whether or not it's sadness or anger that's tugging at your heart right now but what you do know is that there's a sense of betrayal that lingers in the air.

"wait." he pleads, the previous stupid jealousy he might have felt before is long gone by now and all he's left with is the burning pain of regret. if there was an option to undo everything he just said he would take it in a heartbeat.

he reaches out to you and makes a desperate last attempt to stop you from leaving by holding onto your wrist. "please, wait can we talk this out?"

his much larger hand engulfs your wrist and you can't deny how pained his voice sounds and how it tugs at your heart, begging you to stay, but then you remember how fresh the pain was of being accused by someone you thought would be able to trust you wholeheartedly and so, you shrug him off.

"i'm done. goodbye, satoru." you walk out as the door slams closed behind you, leaving him alone to stew in regret.

it's been 10 hours since you left, rightfully so with how he was behaving like an insecure ass to you, and it's been 4 hours of failed attempts to sleep off the ache he feels growing in his chest. he doesn't know why he had acted like that, accusing you of such things completely unwarranted and maybe if he was going to be more purposefully obtuse, he might blame it on the green-eyed monster but even he knows that it would just be a poor deflection of blame.

exhausted from hours of self-inflicted insomnia, he rolls out of bed and stares at the mess of white sheets left in your wake. satoru always slept better when he was with you and now he's just gone and ruined one of the best things he's ever had.

would it be so terrible if he put aside his pride to go begging for your forgiveness for his stupidness? he sure as hell doesn't deserve it right now but he knows that he'll hate himself forever if he never tries. and so, that's how satoru finds himself at your doorstep, soaking wet from the rain and knocking on your door.

against all odds, you answer, though obviously just barely having escaped the clutches of sleep as you rub your eyes tiredly. you're greeted with the sight of him standing at your door and all the conflicting feelings that you tried to bury away previously come crawling back up.

"...what are you doing here, satoru? it's like 2am." you're completely drained and not in the mood for a screaming match if that is what he's here for.

he looks haggard in all senses of the word. his hair is tousled in a sweaty mess from tossing and turning around a bed that feels way too empty with wisps of white hair clinging to his forehead. his clothes are dishevelled in a way which tells you he just threw on the first thing he found in his haste to make it to your apartment and the skin under his eyes is hollowed out as he stares at you with red-rimmed eyes.

gojo satoru looks defeated, to say the least.

"i'm sorry, for everything," he starts off, his chest heaves up and down with shaky breaths. you're not sure if it's him shivering from the rain or just his nerves. "truly deeply sorry." his voice is totally devoid of malice and instead it's more like the satoru you know and love but with a new found rawness and vulnerability to it.

you're not sure what to say, avoiding his gaze as best as you can as you fidget with the sleeves of your hoodie, the one that you stole from him ages ago. he notices that and there's a flutter of hope in his heart, but he pushes on with his apology, choosing to not let himself get carried away with that.

"i'm stupid, okay? i'm a monumental idiot." you laugh slightly at that. he takes that as a good sign and that ball of hope within him grows a little stronger. satoru takes a deep sigh, as if to steady himself before continuing.

"i don't know why i said that and you don't deserve any of those thoughts or accusations okay? hell, i'm pretty sure i don't deserve you with how i've been acting today. you don't need to forgive me or anything but i just want you to know i'm sorry."

"satoru-"

"-and i know that and if you want to punch me or kick me to the curb that's also completely fine. i won't blame you i pro-" he's suddenly cut off by the tug of his t-shirt and the feeling of soft, warm lips, your lips, against his as he falls into an awe-struck silence. your lips part from his and he already feels that he's gone on for too long without them.

you smile at him, the corners of your eyes crinkling slightly and he can feel all of the regret that was eating him alive before melting away, like fallen snow when the spring sun makes its glorious return back to earth. "yes, i forgive you, you massive fool. you're definitely an idiot but you're my idiot."

he takes your hands in his and brings them up to his lips, whispering into them,

"that's right, i'm yours."

you know the phrase 'seeing is believing'? yeah, geto suguru thinks that's probably one of the dumbest phrases he's ever had the pleasure, or displeasure in this case, of hearing. there's a lot of things that you can't see but you can still believe in; an example would be gravity. you don't need to see it to know that it exists and believe in it so why is visual confirmation the default that people go to?

that is until he saw you in the arms of someone else and maybe, in that moment, he realised that the phrase might have more merit to it than he had originally placed on it.

honestly, you were already having an awful day. you had just barely the train to your work by the millisecond so you were left waiting around for 5 minutes before the next train came and much to your chagrin, you were left standing for the entirety of the 20-minute journey and had officially arrived at your workplace late.

to pile on to that, you remembered that you had very conveniently forgotten all of the things you needed to bring in for that very specific day and had to do the whole journey again to avoid incurring the wrath of your boss.

and the cherry on top? it was running into that co-worker that you hated with all your guts and getting their coffee spilt on your very nice white shirt, whether intentionally or unintentionally you'll deal with that issue later.

however, this left you with an embarrassing large stain right front and centre for the rest of the day until the universe decided to grant you a small mercy by having your other co-worker offer you a spare change of clothes which you gratefully accepted. as you did, you could feel the pointed stares of the other members of your workplace burning angry holes through your back which only left you with an unsettling feeling in your gut. albeit, you brushed it off quickly as you couldn't really linger on the issue.

it was always like this when you two interacted in both a friendly and professional capacity. the occasion or even context of the interaction didn't matter to the rest of them when all they saw was the office crush acting nice with you and you reciprocating this niceness to an extent that made them seethe with jealousy over the fact that it wasn't them.

maybe they should learn that they could get his respect by treating him as a person rather than an object to fawn over but again, that was a conversation for another day and they should have known that you only had eyes for one man, in the form of your boyfriend suguru, anyways.

suguru wasn't someone who was super public about his affection for you with grand displays of PDA, but what mattered to you and him was that he showed in ways that were important to both of you and that was enough.

that was why he found himself standing at the door of your workplace, a small bouquet of your favourite flowers in hand, waiting to surprise you and pick you up the moment you were done with your shift. he leans against the cool surface of the cement wall behind him and imagines the delighted look on your face when you see him there. his lips curve into a slight smile at that mental image.

he glances at the watch on his wrist, a present from you from a previous anniversary and one he treasured deeply as evidenced by the fact that there was barely a scratch on its glass shell, and silently counts down the minutes in his head. while lost in his own thoughts, he fails to notice a group of employees passing by him though he does manage to pick up bits and pieces of their fleeting conversation.

"can you believe them? throwing themself all over him like that?" one voice chides.

"i know right? it's like they have no shame at all." another adds bitterly.

"you know, it makes me think that there's something going on between them." and that earns them a chorus of agreement from their little group.

suguru pays them little mind though, believing it to be just simple office gossip that he could care less about unless it was coming from you, then he would be hooked on every single detail you fed him like his life depended on it. he hears footsteps from around the corner and notes an all-too-familiar giggle as the people emerge. it's you and he walks forward a bit more to see if he can spot you.

however, he's greeted with an awful sight. the source of your melodic laughter appears to be the man standing next to you and before you two part, he leans down to give you a hug, one that you seemingly receive with open arms. there's a sinking sensation at the bottom of his stomach when he watches the both of you linger for a second.

when you part, not before thanking your co-worker again for his kindness, you turn around and notice suguru standing a few metres in front of you. "sugu? what are you doing here?" you ask, pleasantly surprised by his sudden appearance and you light up with happiness at the sight of him. you stop in your tracks when you realise he hasn't made a single move to greet you.

the smile on your face drops slightly as your eyebrows furrow in concern for his strange stillness. you take a step closer towards him but he remains still as a statue. there's the sound of crumpled paper as his grip tightens around the bouquet that he's still holding.

you're both silent for a second before he speaks up.

"are you cheating on me?" though his question is straightforward, his tone is unsure.

he doesn't want to believe that you could be doing that but he can't help but draw his own conclusions about what he just saw, especially in light of the comments he overheard which now suddenly make sense if he looks at them from this newfound angle.

a look of betrayal flickers through your eyes at his words. there's an undeniable bitter aftertaste in his mouth that he can't swallow down.

"is that you really think this is?" there's a pained edge to your voice and you can feel an uncomfortable tightness around your throat as you try to fight back the tears pricking at the corners of your eyes.

"suguru, i would never do that! we're just co-workers, don't you believe me?" he doesn't look at you, choosing to actively avoid your gaze instead and you can feel yourself faltering as the grim reality of the situation dawns on you with solemn resignation.

"you know, suguru, i've had a really awful day today and this is not helping at all. i'm done with this. goodbye, suguru." and before he can say anything, you brush past him as you make your way to god knows where. as you walk off, he finally realises that the sinking feeling in his stomach is regret.

after you dissapear into the twisting streets, suguru is overwhelmed with this awful feeling of regret as he realises how rash he was in jumping to a conclusion that had no basis aside from some stupid off-handed comments he overheard and a hug that could very well just be only friendly and nothing more. all he can think about is apologising to you and hopefully finding a way back into your good graces again.

unfortunately for him, you've turned off your phone so he can't even call you to find out where you are but even if it was on, he doubts that you would even pick up and that is definitely deserved on his behalf. he stops and thinks to himself for a moment and decides to take a chance on the first place he can come up with.

thankfully, his gut is right and he finds you sitting on a grassy hill, your grassy hill with him, absent-mindedly plucking up strands of grass before discarding them. there's the sound of grass crunching underneath shoe soles as suguru takes his place next to you.

"what are you doing here, suguru?" you're not looking at him and he can feel a pang of pain in his chest.

"had a feeling you would be here."

you scoff half-heartedly. a shaky breath escapes your lips as you turn to him, your eyes are slightly red-rimmed and there's an unmistakable shimmery glean to your cheeks from your tears. another tug of his heart. "what do you want? because it seemed like you were pretty much done with me at that point."

"i want to apologise." there's a look of surprise on your face as you turn to him and he continues, his voice raw and vulnerable as he continues, "i want to say sorry for taking and not even listening to the most important side of the story, you. so please, and spare no details, tell me what happened today."

you pause for a second as if to consider his words and examine his sincerity, and then you nod and he can feel a sigh of relief leave him. as you relay to him the true details of your day, you notice how his expression becomes more and more apologetic as the facts of the story finally come to light.

he leans against your shoulders and envelops you in his arms. you reciprocate his touch, snaking your own arms around his waist and he sinks his head into the crook of your neck.

"i can't stress how sorry i am." his voice is muffled against your collarbone as you rest your chin upon his head. his hand finds yours and squeezes your hand reassuringly.

"you know you have a lot to make up for right?" he looks up at you, violet eyes gazing into your own, and hums in agreement as he places a soft kiss against your hand.

"anything for you, angel."

nanami kento was a man who believed that it was his duty to silently bear all of the things that came his way, no matter the cost, and this made him someone that many people could always rely on which has earned him a similar reputation in many facets of his life. unfortunately, this benefit did not extend to his relationship.

you knew all this when you got into a relationship with him including his workaholic tendencies and so you were never too disappointed when a dinner for two would turn into a dinner for one.

even if they became more frequent, you would always be able to go to sleep with the knowledge that you would wake up next to a head of blonde hair and a pair of strong arms wrapped around your waist as the steady beat of your two hearts in sync filled the relative silence of your shared bedroom.

until, one day, you began to wake up cold and alone, lost within the expanses of the sheets without his arms there to tether you to a world with him by your side. the only shreds of evidence that he was actually there and not just a figment of your touch-starved imagination was the slight indent of the mattress left in his wake and a messily scribbled note which read 'woke up early for work, breakfast is in the fridge.' which felt just as cold and devoid of affection as the room you currently were in.

phone calls became less frequent as well and seeing kento in the flesh was more like trying to find a four-leafed clover in a field full of clovers. explanations were short and choppy and to you, they felt like simply a courtesy on his part rather than genuine truths.

with his presence fading even more and more from the apartment and your life, you couldn't help but start to wonder if there was more behind these excuses and perhaps, he had decided to move on from you and onto someone else. these worries even followed you from your waking hours into your dreams and so you made your mind up to stay up and wait for his return to finally confront him about his behaviour.

now sitting there at your kitchen table, fingers absent-mindedly drumming against the wood surface as you anxiously watch the seconds tick down on the clock and await his arrival. tick tock, tick tock. the sound of the clock echoes off the walls of the apartment.

there's an uncomfortable ball of anxiety gnawing at the insides of your stomach. if the truth didn't kill you, the waiting was definitely going to be the one to put the final nail in your coffin at this point.

much to your relief, or worst fears, there's a jangle of keys coming from outside the door and it soon cracks open to reveal a very tired and worn down kento as he makes his way into the apartment and begins to unload his belongings in the entryway. he's halfway through with removing his suit jacket when he finally notices you sitting there, stone-faced aside from your lips which you nervously bite at, and a worried sigh escapes him.

he makes his way towards you and takes a seat opposite from you. under the fluorescent lights of the kitchen, you're able to get a much better look at him and while his hair is perfectly styled back as usual, there's an air of exhaustion radiating from him as you take note of the darkness of his eyebags and the seemingly permanent grimace that he sports, a far cry from the looks of domestic bliss that you would always be greeted with previously.

"what are you doing up so late, my love? you should be asleep by now or else you'll be tired tomorrow for work." his voice is full of concern for your well-being when it should be the least of his worries at this point with how burnt out he was. you're pretty sure that his cheekbones are more pronounced from the lack of full meals rather than simply his genetics.

a pang of guilt hits you in your gut, of course, he's still so fixated on you taking care of yourself when he clearly is the one who needs the advice even more, but you know that this needs to come out sooner or later. you steel yourself with a shaky breath.

"where have you been?" you ask, uncharacteristically cold. he can tell that there's something off with you but he chooses not to comment or push on it.

"i've been at work, trying to finish something for the higher-ups before tomorrow." his tone is straightforward and blunt and you can't tell if he's giving you a rehearsed answer or a truthful one.

you look down at your hands. "is that really all it is?"

"what do you mean?" his eyebrows furrow in confusion. you're not sure if this is genuine confusion or if he's just playing you for a fool.

you sigh, exhausted. you can feel the corners of your eyes start to burn with tears but you attempt to blink them away to the best of your ability. "i can't take these late nights and weak excuses anymore, kento. if there's someone else, i would rather you just say it."

he doesn't say anything and you grit your teeth as you solemnly accept that as his answer. you quickly stand up from your seat but before you can go anywhere, you're stopped in your tracks by the feeling of his calloused hands on your forearm.

"wait, please, dear-" he pleads softly.

"i'm done, kento." you cut him off before he can say anything else but he strides over to you and places a hand on your shoulder.

"love, please." he implores, his brown eyes full of sincerity as he tries his best to convince you to hear him out. "please, stay and let me explain, just for a minute and that's all." you don't pull away from his touch and he offers you a grateful smile.

"the late nights and overtime are to save some time off for a vacation. a vacation with you." before you could even open your mouth to speak, he silently stops you with a gentle caress to the cheek and manages to render you both speechless and breathless in a single move. "i know you're worried about me overworking myself so i wanted to surprise you and finally make my promises to you come true."

you're instantly hit with a sense of regret as you realise that your overthinking and fear might have cost you something so precious and at the thought of potentially having lost him, you can't help but throw yourself into his open embrace and bury your face into the rumpled fabric of his button up.

a soothing hand finds its way to your back as he attempts to comfort you. he's so good to you and sometimes you wonder if you really deserve it. "i'm sorry, ken. i shouldn't be jumping to conclusions and accusing you of such things." you confess, your voice slightly muffled against his chest. "you've been nothing but kind and loving to me and all i can say is that i'm sorry."

"it's alright, my dear. i should be sorry as well. i shouldn't have been so guarded when you're asking even if it's for a surprise." he adds himself and then there's the fleeting warmth of his lips against your forehead before his arms tighten their grip around you as if to reassure you that he wasn't going anywhere.

"so you're not mad at me, kento?" you ask gingerly, glancing at his face to find a fond expression looking back down at you, not a single bit of anger or annoyance to be detected on any of his features.

"you, dear? i could never be angry at you."

[kaijuparfait]

long ramble of me going through the venom trailer because i am insane totally normal about it

this isn't anything professional, just me spouting out random words as i run around in circles like an excited dog-

OK LET'S GO:

firstly... king please change your clothes its been years, why are you still wearing that exact same outfit???

BUT i am a sucker for the light going over and past Eddie as he walks, i just think it's so cool hehe,,

E: "You should probably know that I have a really dark and unpredictable side to me."

hmmm... i'll believe you. at first, it sounds like he's telling this to Venom, but I wouldn't be surprised if Eddie is telling this to someone else and this "dark and unpredictable side" is Venom.... Or he is telling this to Venom and Eddie just really wants to kill now which. I am ok with that, love that for them, they should be allowed to do what they want

cleanly punching off the lock via the ~ Power of Friendship ~ (or something like that)

not the dogs :( i'm assuming this is a place to hold dogs for like. dog fighting?? i think? which is terrible and those guys deserved to get their heads eaten!

E: "I'm giving you a chance, sweetie."

LET. EDDIE. KILL. everyone say thank you Tom Hardy for being Eddie cause WOAH i am. normal.

V: "Just say "when"." E: "...when."

WE'RE SO BACK its just like the "Mask!" "Copy." bit from the first movie omg we're so back, these two make me ill i love them sm

also Eddie not even flinching at the knife, most likely Venom turning off the pain (or something) but I like to think Eddie's just cool like that (these close ups of Eddie's face makes me wanna do a study on him, just draw him a million times for the fun of it, and i will! Tom Hardy is a beautiful man!)

either venom is fully acting as shoes or Eddie is wear the most busted up pair of crocs i have ever seen and both options are so great. either way- KICK! that guy is GONE you even see him slouched against the wall, surrounded by bricks in a later scene, Venom and Eddie are not messing around this movie!

I- hhhhh. ok. I'm ok. Yeah these two are NOT messing around, Eddie could not care less about these dudes, there is no hesitating, no guilt, no fear in this man's expression AND I LOVE IT <333 GET ANGRY! GET SCARY!!!

AND WE HAVE THE BOI. THERE HE IS!!! the roar sounds different too i think, it's very cool tho, feels like a shrill, higher pitch than i expected but i don't dislike it

let the dogs be free! they immediately start attacking those guys and i love it <3 doggy :3

AND EDDIE IS FIGHTING TOO WOOOOO i need to redraw all of these frame cause WHEW! making me blush with these shot compositions, so good. so much trust, Eddie knows Venom will keep him safe and jumps in! literally! i adore how Venom's head is following him too, it's so creepy, the way it just slithers through the air, I wish to send all my love to the teams who work on Venom, there are so many points from the trailer and the first 2 movies that I wanna dissect, just to point out all his little movements, very fun

speaking of his little movements- squinty eyes :3 and the half venom, half eddie face again! always a win, forever iconic <3

tearing apart this venom scene OK! the little tendrils by Eddie's face, the way they move around is so UGH its so weird and i adore it! This "pose" is also fun because we really get to see the inside of Venom's mouth, most importantly his teeeeeth, in a long, pretty still shot that isn't when his mouth is wide open, the artist in me is loving it

also the team always does an amazing job on just making Venom look alien- the thick veins, the shiny black skin, and the tendrils that are holding up the bad guy split apart, instead of being just one tentacle, very gross, but in a good way

E: "We.. are..-" V: "WE ARE VENOM!" E: "We.. are..-" V: "VENOM!!" E: "No.."

They share one braincell, holy fudge, I love symbrock fjdkslfjsdk

and Eddie just keeps trying! same tone, same level, and Venom is so excited

V: "Oh!"

(I also love these shots because we get a nice close up of how Venom's mouth moves when pronouncing words)

E: "Yeah.. We.." V: "We.." E + V: "are... Venom." E: "...We really need to work on that."

and they get there eventually lmao, the way they say it is so in sync, even the eye movements are the same, how they open wider, and THE VOICES hhhh the voices.,,.. Tom Hardy is such a good. voice actor? in this sense ig.. i am on the ground, pure joy with how Eddie and Venom's voices overlap here

and Venom goes to town! lovely meal <3 getting a meal with the bf <3

I am LOOKING oh my goodness his mouth can open WIDE... normal feelings rn, yup, mhm!

doggy :D dog friends :D also Eddie no shot you stole that guy's shoes lmao??? nice boots tho (as someone who wears cowboy boots often, i would love to see Eddie in a full outfit.. putting that in the drawing idea list...)

V: "DELICIOUS! You take me to all the finest places!"

see! dinner date! :3 I can just hear the smile on Venom, i love when he's happy

and the world's most pathetic wet cat of a man (I say with the upmost affection) is back!

more proof that Eddie is never NOT sweating and that Tom Hardy's Eddie voice has the most confusing accent- i think he's saying

E: "Honey, I don't know."

but he could very well just be stuttering, or maybe he stopped midway and instead said "I need- I don't know." but i'm hoping they're at the point of pet names, go full comic, let Eddie call Venom "love" and "dear" and "my darling"

[Edit- thank you @.bridoesotherjunk for pointing out that he says "I need a Tylenol." i need better listening comprehension i guess??? lol?]

i don't know 100% of the Venom lore, still have tons of comics to read, so i won't talk much about the potential storyline here but- 4 SYMBIOTES!! maybe maybe maybe the Life Foundation Symbiotes... these babies got some funky colors.. they already used the name Riot but these 4 could be Lasher, Phage, Scream and Agony if i pray hard enough, the colors don't match but i can dream!

totally not emotional over this little bit of Venom that was left behind from that one after credits scene trying to bond with a host gently. yup yeah my heart isn't hurting at all!

LET MY BOY GO, HE DID NO WRONG!!!

my favorite local cryptid, what a creature

and he changed! finally! nice shirt tho, buttoned up only part way? the HAIR??? good stuff

fire seems to be a known weakness now, looking at the background, and i can't guess what they're looking up at, Eddie does speed up for it tho. I'm gonna say either a helicopter or something else they're gonna try and jump up to? Venom does go-

V: "OH SHIT"

during this scene so maybe it's one of those Symbiotes from before? Who knows, I could guess a hundred things but idk

THE WATER SCENE!! FROM THAT ONE BEHIND THE SCENES PHOTO TOM HARDY POSTED!!!

Venom in the last bit and Eddie being just himself if the first portion of these clips show that these guys 100% know what they're doing and have some sort of device (shown in the right image) that is capable of doing some crazy damage to Venom! Which! Oh no!!! I enjoy fight scenes underwater tho (Looks at Godzilla), very hyped for this one, I really wanna see how Venom swims. Yeah that sounds a bit weird but like. no way he's swimming like a human, c'mon now

E: "We are living the dream, my friend V: "You mean it?!" E: "NO."

Can't get over Venom's delivery here, he sounds so genuinely, it made me laugh, especially to how exhausted Eddie sounds lmao

LAS VEGAS??? y'all guessed right, they really are gonna get married in vegas,,

Eddie in a suit, HELLO??? my guy is looking snazzy! really tho, he looks so nice a suit, the BLACK AND WHITE suit? perfect. I saw people saying that they hope that Venom is the suit and just. me too..

MRS. CHEN RETURNS omg this cast are all so <333 she is GORGEOUS that dress is beautiful on her AND HER HAIR Mrs. Chen my beloved

Mrs. Chen sounds so happy to see Eddie, and Venom also very excitedly say hi, my heart is going to burst, it is overflowing, this part of the trailer makes me smile so much AND THEN THEY DANCE WITH EACH OTHER!!! I know it's called The Last Dance but I was not expecting a dance with Mrs. Chen??? I am more than ok with this tho, Venom and Mrs. Chen, dancing on the stairs, they look so happy, they're having such a good time i can't, my heart can't take this <3

AND LOOK HOW THEY HOLD HER HANDS.. they... they care about each other so much i'm going to cry in the theaters- no i'm gonna cry NOW.

is that a xenophage i see??? that thing is HUGE HUH??? i fully understand Venom in this (side note, i ADORE how Venom goes "JESUS CHRIST" upon seeing this thing, the line delivery get's better every film, that was so genuine) this design is insane tho, i might spend some time doing a study on it

Toxin is here! YIPPEE!!! love the voice, thought it was Venom for a second the first time i watch this but its pretty good

I have no clue who the people are that are in this tower thing, I've seen a few theories but i ain't embarrassing myself by guessing wrong here lmao

(running out of image spaces sorry!)

in the clip of Venom walking into this lab (?) and then getting violently shot at, is it just me or does Venom seem small? I'm guessing the door is just really big but like. idk maybe i'm just mixing up my Venoms and thinking that he's not as big as I remember

really quick cut of what may be 2 more Symbiotes like the 4 from earlier? maybe they're the same and are just changing colors, maybe they're new, who knows! I love their colors tho, the one on the right (in the clip) looks like it's blue and pink and i think that's cute

Xenophage breaks into this lab, love that for her, she is still terrifying!

E: "We may not make it out of this alive, buddy."

haha what do you mean by that king?

V: "Eddie... the time has come..."

HAHA PAUSE. uhm. he said the same thing last time at the end of Let There Be Carnage and Eddie didn't let him go but, istg, IF THEY DIE AT THE END OF THIS MOVIE. i know its the last of the trilogy BUT THEY DON'T NEED TO DIE, SONY, MARVEL, DON'T DO THIS TO ME. i am going cry violently at the writers... i don't think i will ever stop crying if they die at the end

they're in this busted up helicopter, already intriguing, but when it zooms in on Eddie's face, he's tearing up??? this movie is checking off every emotion, i need to remember to stay hydrated before i go see it, i will cry so much

I don't even think i'll be able to handle just one of them dying, the end of the first movie made me tear up the first time i saw it, and that was before i was as insane about them as i am now, i will be UNWELL in the theater

And last but certainly not least. HORSE VENOM WOOOOOO

the design for this things is insane, i didn't think i'd ever wanna draw a horse in my life but like.. kinda changing my mind ngl (weird detail, Venom horse has hands and feet and not hooves!)

E: "Be honest with me, how fast do you think you can make that thing go, without killing it?" V: "..ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT!"

Venom sounds a bit muffled in this clip which makes it a bit more funny to me, i won't lie. Eddie is hanging on FOR HIS LIFE THOUGH, geez i know he said "how fast" but Eddie gets LAUNCHED OFF VENOM when they go over that cliff. fun reference to the first movie, how Venom grabs onto Eddie as he flies up, like on the motorcycle <3

this horse scene has to be earlier on because Eddie is in The Outfit and is also not wearing shoes??? i refuse to believe he'd put it back on, and in the helicopter-"it is time" clip, Eddie is wearing that white shirt, which looks like the undershirt to the suit (maybe) so the Las Vegas scene happens before them running from the explosion/fire.

oh right, the song that's playing? Space Oddity by David Bowie? yeah it's about an astronaut dying along in space.... which... is not very comforting...

god this trailer makes me so hyped, October cannot come faster i need this movie NOW. please.

man the trailer is kinda confusing, i'm already making guesses on where things happen and what the context could be, but literally anything could happen in this film. there are so many things that just don't make sense yet and it's hurting my brain I JUST WANNA KNOW! are those new Symbiotes or not? What even is the plot? Will Eddie and Venom profess their love to each other? Will Sleeper be real? How many times will this movie make me cry? Only time will tell

...and it's only the first trailer! head so full of thoughts, heart so full of emotions!

[plutonianeris]

a message from 13 year old you ‧₊˚✩彡 [letter] 💓🍬

this is a general reading. take what resonates and leave what doesn't. scroll through the images & choose based on your inner guidance and gut feeling. ⛓️ *･῾ ᵎ⌇ ⁺◦ if you feel guided to: tip jar💘 ✧.*

Pile one ‧₊˚✩彡

"what did I tell you? I always knew it would work out in the end. I was always knew the pain wasn't going to last forever. It hurt to be treated that way by the people closest to me, especially the women in my life. there was always so much confusion growing up. people would say pretty things but there body language would show something else. I felt caged in my connections. But I always had some faith. I always had a feeling that the universe was watching out for me... for us. that it was sending us signs. that eventually I would be able to enjoy life to the fullest without feeling guilty for it. without feeling like I had to compare myself to the versions of me that they wanted me to be. I hope you know now that those versions don't exist. that we weren't born to be dolls for other people to dress up and control and shove words and opinions in their mouth and to gargle and spit back up. I doubted my intellgience so much.. underestimated my creativity. but looking at you now.. looking at us... I feel so proud. dont forget about me please! I always believed in you. even on those days where you couldnt stand to look in the mirror. I was on your side this whole time, its just that sometimes you werent listening. But now looking at you, you are everything I ever wanted to be. Im so glad I didnt give up. You deserve it all. the world. your dreams. im rooting for you. heres to more blessings and abundance."

Pile two ‧₊˚✩彡

"remember the way everyone would make fun of us for the weird things we did? Our odd expressions and the questions we asked and how we laughed out loud and our desire to see the world. how it always labeled as silly. I know it had made us dull our self expression for a little while. How we forced ourselves to shrink down, to fake laugh to the mean comments, or "oh this? not a big deal" or "its not that good.." so many of those... just to blend in better with our friends and family at the time. to make them like us. to see if that would make them stop criticizing so damn much. I hope we no longer are letting comments like that slide. I hope we dress like the way we always wanted to in our head but were to afraid to wear out. I hope we didn't let the world extinguish our playful nature. life felt like heartbreak after another. what do you know about love? youre just a kid. they deformed the way we saw it for a long time. but not anymore. It makes me emotional.. the way you never let go my hand. and how you always carried me along with you in your heart. Of course, now you call me your inner child. Or I guess inner teen. Ha, inner tween. Thank you for always being my friend. I see now that you are always what I was meant to be. Out of all the stars in the sky, we shine the brightest, you and me."

Pile three ‧₊˚✩彡

"you are so beautiful... wow we really are so different now. But I still see hints of me in you. in your smirk and your mischievous laugh and in your questioning glances and sharp stare when someone gets a little bit too close to our personal space. I admire the way your presence can make someone nervously glance away. I use to feel so powerless.. so many things I did to try to gain some control, even if it meant hurting myself and pushing away the people I love. I love how vulnerable you are. I really did see it as a weakness but looking at you now, it makes me realize how brave you are. of putting yourself out there despite the uncertainty. of taking that chance even if could end up badly. even if you could end up with a broken heart it seems like you no longer find sastification in staying in the darkness. I understand, its.. well, lonely... being alone. Do you think you could take me with you? That part of you... that is still afraid. do you think you could tell me? tell me that I am not broken or incomplete that there is nothing wrong with me. that I am not the worst thing that has ever happened to me or will happen to me. Reassure me? Tell me that some things we have to do even when we are afraid. that its terrifying and nerve wracking and makes our palms sweat. but then once we do it, it's glorious, it's liberating, it's everything we have ever dreamed of and more. I see it now. Take me with you. Do you see me? I see you. The way you look at the world and want to devour it. I see you now, with a crown atop your head. how you wear it so gracefully..."

Pile four ‧₊˚✩彡

"So many times.... I was so close to giving up. to listening to that little voice in my head that kept telling me over and over again that there was no point. that the feeling and the ache in my chest would last forever. that it was always going to be me versus the world. me versus me. that everything around me would always be dull and gray and that I would always be blue. I doubted my self-worth so much. It was practically non-existent. I still do in some ways now when I pop up and invalidate the way you feel, shrugging my shoulders wondering if maybe we are actually deserving of this happiness... of this success. it feels foreign. like its not really mine.. well, ours. We're not in a really good situation right now and my parents are trying to hide things from me that im just too big now to pretend not to notice. they don't make me feel that protected anymore. and that hurts me a lot. whose gonna take care of me now? Im so glad youre here now. Im so glad we got to grow up and that we survived. and im so glad that now that we survive we can actually live. Thank you for reminding that we can let go now. that theres no room for a pity party anymore. thank you for letting me know that your'e not going to leave me behind. thank you for keeping my memory alive. thank you for looking back at me with kind and loving eyes. but most of all, thank you for fighting for me. I know I can easily lie and say "everything is fine" but thank you for showing me that it eventually it is. thank you proving to me that eventually I will say its fine. its okay. its great even. and that I, that we, actually mean it."

© plutonianeris

[cvnt4him]

Hello!! I'm the same girl who requested for IT reader a while back, and I really liked it!<3 I wanted to try out requesting again so I'm here once more😭😭 Anyway, are you fine with family-centered stuff? Could you do heavy angst with Father!Number One!Izuku with his little girl? You can decide whatever for the child, really!(but personally I prefer daughter) So, since Izuku is the number one, Y/N is probably the one mostly taking care of their kid. What if there was this huge accident that killed Y/N because the heroes were too late to detain the villain? Plus points if Izuku was the hero assigned. So ever since the death, Izuku is suddenly the caretaker and tries his absolute best to make his kid happy but fails since the kid absolutely loathes him for being absent and for being too late to save their mother. What do you think Izuku will do?? So, yeah!! It's up to you if this isn't weird</3

Its not weird at all my love, thanm you for the req and I'm so glad to have you requesting from me again, feel free to stop by once more and leave some more, youre always welcome<33 I would also like to apologize to you and everyone else who has made a req and I haven't gotten to it. I won't get into detail but I've been busy, I've closed my reqs so I can get all my old ones out, most of my reqs are like months old anyways so here i am clesning out the closet.

...

“mr midoriya, where would you say your life went wrong?”

“ ....when I left my wife.. ”

Izuku was always infatuated with you, your beauty, your strength, how compassionate and caring you were. He thought you were just neat. You didn't have a quirk yet like him you still made it into UA. You were pretty smart and tried hard at everything you did. He admired you for that, he watched you closely and studied you. Not in a creepy way, but in a "I'm in love with you, notice me" way.

In your second year you'd finally taken a liking towards him, he was quite cute despite his odd haircut. You understood it was due to the trouble he went through in the war, he was strong reliable and terrifyingly selfless. Izuku midoriya was a great guy and you had really liked him, the two of you started going on sweet little dates together, walking in the park sharing an ice cream, going to the movies to see whats new, going to a carnival with some friends and sneaking off alone.

Those were the days izuku wished could've lasted forever, where nothing was wrong, peace was restored and everyone was happy. But as life does. It moves on. The world changes right before tour eyes and before you know it, it's been 8 years. The two of you are still happily together in fact married now, and expecting. Izuku and you had gotten out of college a couple years ago, he became a pro and you were in charge of the Deku Foundation. A silly name for a silly little guy.

Izuku was a family guy, he didn't see his father much growing up so he knew this was what he wanted. He wanted to assure to you, the mother of his unborn child, and to his unborn child that he would be there, always and forever. He held you at night and made you breakfast in the morning, he wasn't always there to eat it with you but he made sure to leave adorable little notes for you to feel special, you kept busy doing work for his company, exercising to try and reduce stretch marks and baby weight in the future, and cooking for fun. It was hard being pregnant but it was worth it. Is what you'd say.

Izuku could never forget the moment you had his baby. Those were the absolute happiest moments in his life, no doubt about it. Watching his baby leave from your birth canal, he seen the way you screamed in agony with the final push. He was so mesmerized by it all, his wife just gave birth to his... beautiful babygirl.

“congratulations, mr and mrs midoriya, it's a girl.”

When the doctors gave you your baby, he watched closely as she stopped crying immediately at the contact of your skin, your soft voice shushing her sounds away, he pleas and cries powering down as she calmer herself. Its like you were a magical being, izuku was so enamoured with it, with you. With his new baby.

Holding her for the first time was his dream, it was even better than he could've possibly imagined. He sighed and tried to hold back tears, yet they fell asleep if a water faucet was left on, he sniffled and hiccupped as he tried to hold her closely, he took off his shirt so she could feel that skin to skin contact that babies are supposed to love. He read a book about parenting, of course the book would've been better for you to read because it was how to prepare for child birth but either way; it worked.

This moment, truly was the happiest one yet; but as life does. It moves on. And before he knew it 6 years had passed, you're beautiful babygirl was in first grade! She was making friends learning a lot and laughing and playing like kids her age should. She loved the outdoors and loved animals, she enjoyed small things like butterflies and rabbits. She was such a vibrant little girl, a splitting image from izuku too, mind the couple of genetics of yours that had shined through. Izuku loved his girls so much, watching the way you two played together, when you did her hair, read to her, his favorite thing of all was to watch you to crochet.

It was so calming, you would hold her close and show her carefully how to apply the yarn, teaching her how to swap colors smoothly and humming gently to her. Izuku watched you both closely, he's a very observant man, with that being said watching his girls was hos favorite thing to do. It's like you two were a show he could never get tired of, a program that was played just for him.

Izuku was a pro now and as much as he loved you both, he had a job to do. One that he couldn't fail, it ate him away that hr couldn't just sit with his girls all day long. Listen to little stories his baby has to share about her day at school. As much as he disliked it, he would even love to listen to his wife rant on and on about a little dream she had the other night, how the washer was in the kitchen instead of the laundry room and looked like an oven instead. Such odd dreams you had.

Izuku hadn't even realized it, but he had been spending more and more time at his agency, accidentally sleeping there and coming home 4 hours before he had to go back up there. It was tiring, he was tired, yet he had a job to do. And he wouldn't fail. You two started seeing less of him, it saddened your daughter deeply yet you tried to remind her constantly that he is a hero, and heroes have jobs to do. She would nod and give you a smile still laced with disappointment, sadness.

What really pissed you off was when he promised your little girl he'd be there for her science fair, yet didn't show. She won and everything, he promised her he'd help with making it. Whoops he couldn't do that because he was working. No matter! He apologized so you both just slid it off. However this was the last straw for you. Driving home you were furious, seeing your little girl in the mirror with a frown as she fiddled with her ribbon.

You stayed up late that night. Assuring that you'd catch him, and once you did you two argued. Which is something you'd never done, of course you two would bicker and disagree on things, but this was unlike those times. You were both yelling and had possibly woken up your daughter, but neither of you could care. Too blinded by your own fury, you had banished him and he left without a word. Without a second thought, without looking back.

“ I wish I looked back.... I wish I would've apologized, I wish I could've been there when she needed me; when they needed me... ”

That was the last time he'd seen you alive.

It was a normal day for the most part, besides the fact that you two had argued two nights before and hasn't spoken since. Izuku hadn't seen his daughter nor spoken to her either, it was eating away at him but he didn't have time to focus on that right now.. he was getting a signal from one of his sidekicks out on patrol.

“ deku! We need you! There's been an accident! There's a huge fire breathing villain who's trapped a woman and her daughter!”

A woman and her daughter.... That had to be a coincidence. It was, it had to be. Tons of people have daughters and just so happen to be women as well. Hell, he bets it's not even her daughter!!

“its- it's your wife...”

A loud scream was heard on the sidekicks line, izuku was terrified, he moved without even thinning jumping out of the nearest window zooming through the air trying to reach you. So many things going through his mind, why were you out? What were you doing? You never go out, why now! Why was his daughter there?

He was trying his damnedest to reach you, he couldn't help but feel like time was slowing down. Like he wasn't fast enough, meanwhile in actuality he was moving faster than the speed of sound. So why wasn't he there yet? He groaned in annoyance at this, he couldn't shake the terrible shrieking sound that came from the other line.. it terrified him.

“ come in! Is everything alright?! What's the situation?! ”

“i...”

“ what?! what is it, spit it out?! ”

“ I'm sorry... ”

Sorry? Sorry for what? Why the hell was he saying sorry? The only question izuku could find himself wondering. Upon arriving he sees people running, fire burning everywhere and debris filling the air, he coughed through the smoke putting on his mask and zooming through the thick fog. He found his sidekick, no wonder his voice was so hoarse and dry, he had collapsed and passed out. Izuku took him to the nearby ambulance that was present before going back through the smoke to find you.

Other heroes were arriving on scene and searching for other civilians, trying to get them out while others tried taking down the villain, he was huge and was not going down without a fight. Izuku couldn't even try to worry about the villain, you and his daughter were his main focus.

“ daddy! Please help us! ”

The sound of his daughter wailing with a cracky voice, it shattered his heart he followed the sound of crying until he found the two of you, your daughter by your side holding your arm tears falling down her reddened cheeks, she was dirty and covered and muck. She also just so happened to be covered in...blood.

“ princess... what.. what happened.. ”

His daughter ran into his arms bursting into even more tears hiccuping and sobbing. Her cries were loud and full of sadness anyone within a mile radius could tell and even hear, izuku picked you up in his arms not even taking the time to assure you were okay, not checking a pulse or to see if you were breathing. He just swooped you up in his arms bridal style and had his daughter on his back, telling her to cover her mouth. He zoomed through the smoke and handed you both over to the ambulance, they were quick to ail you both.

Izuku was soon to go help the other heroes in scene but first he looked back to you, to see them giving you air and performing CPR, his eyes widened and just as he was about to go back over to you, he tried to rush to your side before being caught by none other than..

“ deku, c'mon we need you. ”

“ kach- erm- dynamite. I can't, I have to— ”

“ come. on. ”

The fiery blonde yanked the large green haired male by his suit and dragged him back into action, he thought this was for the best. Leaving your side this last time to finish slaying this beast.

The fight was over and everyone who had been injured was taken to the nearest hospitals, the villain who had caused all of this trouble was taken into custody and was going to be behind bars for a long time. During the fight people could tell izuku was letting out pent up steam on the villain, he could've killed him. He was sure of it, everyone was. He had be pulled off in order for him to stop. You were hurt and his daughter could've gotten hurt. Izuku felt the villain deserved far much worse than to be behind bars. But at least he was rotting.

Izuku went to see you in the hospital, waiting for hours on end, pacing back and forth a million things on his mind. His daughter had been released a while ago, she was fine apart from the smoke inhalation. He couldn't believe she didn't have a single scratch on her, but he was glad and very much thankful. She sat in the nearest seat taking it easy, watching izuku pace around before finally, some news..

“ mr midoriya— ”

“ what- what's going on is my wife okay?! what's the problem, can I go and see her?? ”

“ I uhm... ahem. I'm afraid I have some bad news.. Mr midoriya. ”

Izukus expression fell, his eyes widened yet his face was completely blank. His heart dropped and completely shattered at the words the doctor said to him. His daughter immediately broke down. Tears were brimming in his eyes, he was borderline shaking in his red boots. He felt bile rising in his throat, the burning sensation making tears fall. They fell and never stopped. He held his daughter close that night. Never letting her go. He was afraid if he did... She might leave him.

....

“ I see. and how does that make you feel?”

“ ... are you seriously asking me how my dead wife makes me fucking feel. ”

“ yes. It's been 9 years, you've retired from hero work and have been seeing me for quite some time yet we never seem to talk about her. ”

Fuck... 9 years had completely flown by him. He hadn't even realized.. you'd been gone for 9 years....

“ I... I.. ”

“ your daughter will be a freshman at UA this year, correct? How does that make you feel? Have you checked in with your daughter? Have you asked how she's been? How has she coped with her mother's death? ”

Izuku was speechless. 9 years had passed, he can't seem to remember much and his daughter.. the last piece of you he has, is starting school at the very high school you two met at. Where did the time go...

AN: I'm not good at angst if you can't tell, this is a shite ending and uhm I've been feeling like shit so I hope this makes you feel shitty, but in like a good way yk? I want you to feel so hurt and sad that it makes you think 'wow.. this is some good shit right here.'

[cator99]

please finish your wedding story, i so badly want to hear the rest of it. i await eagerly.

>everyone lived happily ever after

>a few weeks pass

>I write the brides a lengthy and detailed letter of recommendation to their immigration lawyer

>they're overjoyed and think its a beautiful letter, and I'm glad to help because I hope they last forever and get everything they want in life, if I may drop the act and be sincere for a moment

>a few days pass. the bride I've known for over 15 years messages me

>however... she doesn't care. she's on her honeymoon. and I'm just some chick she was friends with as a kid. what does upset her is how she found out.

>at first I assume that the woman who reached out to her (who I knew back in jr high, and is a few years older than me) was just trying to upset her

>bride tells me about how this woman was her best friend and then suddenly blocked her out of nowhere, which was (and is) still very painful for her

>the woman, who we will refer to as "A" whips up a story about being concerned for the bride's safety and privacy or something

>bride is confused. there's no identifying information. the post is a nothingburger to her. what's important here is that she's upset that this woman messaged her after 4 years, not to make things right..... but to talk about "zander"

>right, this is about me, because this is "A" we're talking about here...... hell hath no fury like a closet case scorned

how did she find my blog?

I assume it went like this:

>"A" goes to peek at her ex-bestie's wedding photos

>"Zander" Spotted

>runs to LC

>"hey does anyone remember Zander who I used to post about on here all the time 7 years ago? I may have found an update!"

>"that's terf cator99 who was posted about on the Women Youre Ashamed To Want To Fuck thread you fucking idiot that looks nothing like her"

>no here's proof!

>autism ensues

>several replies get deleted, other responses indicate they're "A" sperging and linking my blog

>people argue if I deserve to be there anymore

>"she's a tif"

>"no"

> yes"

>"no"

>"I used to know her" ["A" posting]

>"tell us more!"

>"she used to have this one pair of glasses and then she had this other pair of glasses that looked really good on her..."

meanwhile:

>assume she's probably back on her LC shit

>find and link bride to the LC thread and explain to her that "A" has just been trolling for fun and to pay it no mind, you're better off without her in your life

>"hey bride-chan, not to be weird but I'm just trying to understand this shit, do you think A ever had a thing for me... I always kind of assumed she was bi or gay when we were younger and thought it was cool that she was androgynous and went to school dressed as Kaito from vocaloid all the time so I wanted to be her friend but she was pretty rude to people and I backed off"

>"well i dont know but she's married to a man now..."

>yet here she is trying to get under the skin of two women who are with other women

to be fair I earned the lolcow title fair and square years ago all on my own, and really do feel I owe "A" a favor for introducing me to the site. it was very formative for me to find out places like that existed right at the moment I was starting to have conflicting thoughts about the trans shit so I could gain some self-awareness (and general awareness overall) (shout out to "A"s friend who cowtipped to me.....)

meanwhile, on LC:

>"well done ladies, we've figured it all out. Butch Lesbian cator99 is currently partying with gay men, and It is common knowledge that "gay men" are all secretly bisexuals who are looking to hook up with women who say things like "I'm a lesbian" and "I am not attracted to males". That is their mating call, in fact. These words activate the Hetero gland in the Amygdala like a sleeper agent who has been biologically programmed– as we all are– to stop the kiki-ing and split off into heterosexual pairings at the end of a poppers-fuelled night assless-twerking to Britney."

>"good work. But I'll one-up you: look at this screenshot."

[photo from an instagram account, featuring a photo of 17 year old Zander's legs in the bath. "I Am Totally Into Epic Awesome Penis Now!!!!!!" (She had never seen a penis)]

>"yes, this is definitely a normal thing for a straight woman to say. I always knew she was a faker."

>"yes. as im sure you're all aware, there are many social and career benefits from pretending to be a lesbian."

>"doesn't that idiot know that she can't just lie and change her orientation? I can't believe she's been straight this whole time."

>"what does she have to gain from lying?"

>"She's so adamant about being a lesbian, which is a dead giveaway for a cover-up operation. The more they resist, the more evident it is that they are lying in order to gain access to that highly lauded Online Lesbian Following, which is something every straight woman wants deep down."

meanwhile:

>call gf

>"bad news. I just found out I'm actually straight."

[smokszyvverstar]

Tried to learn how to draw curly Mario hair. Gave up and drew bean headcannons

Explaimations below -

I made a past design for Queen Bean and Cackletta. I removed Cackles' cape to give her a less bat-like silhouette, and this is before she got her magic forhead gem. Queen Bean, I imagine, was always on the heavier side, as with most royal beans, but when she ascended to the throne is when her genes took over. Peasley is scared this will happen to him too (he doesn't know Luigi will still love him). I gave her long hair because its fun. Like imagine her running around, curls dancing in the wind.

Cackletta was always skilled in magic, so when she saw this beautiful big lady, she magiced herself to be taller, which is why she is so lanky and the only super tall non-royal bean. Queenie thinks this weird magic girl is super cute and they start dating and its super cool until she shows Cackles the Beanstar. She regrets this decision to this day.

Not even Cackles knows when her focus shifted from her girlfriend to the beanstar. Queenie thinks it was because of her appearance changing as she settled into the role of Queen. The breakup was horrible.

The newly sprouted Peasley was raised by Queen Bean and Lady Lima. They never told him who his other parent was.

Cackletta has really weird hair for a bean, with it growing on the sides of her head, rather than the top like most beanish. This has been a source of insecurity for her since forever, so that's why she wears the fabric on them.

Royal Beanish are taller and heavier than the commonfolk. Peasley is an exception. Although he is a little taller than the normal Beanish, he is much shorter than his bloodline would suggest. He was named Peasley because peas are smaller than beans.

Someone, I forgot who, said that young beans have leaves. Ye, i take that. Then in most beans thats just that. But in some (maybe a third? Maybe less?) they develop hair, but only on the top of their head. Peasley developed hair quite early. Lady Lima blames it taking his energy, so he grew hair instead of height.

Ok now for the biologist anatomist nasty maybe stuff. I don't see Beanish having the repeoductive system like humans and other animals. They have plant ones instead. And all beanish just have a flower. So they only have one sex. Most beanish are non binary, with about a quarter or so feeling they fit the definitions that the other species have for themselves. Beanish are super androgynous because they don't have the animalian sexes. Therefore, I think most Beanish would be pan...? Idk how it would work

[kianasflowers]

𔓘 — SHORT MORNING DRABBLES expect its only sunday

The morning sun is so bright and warm against your skin—a lovely feel, so fuzzy and free. But the turmoil of your past, the haunting screams of the Avgins still fading and waltzing in your mind. That fear spreads into your heart as you wake up in a sweat... only to find your husband, arms embraced around your waist as he whispered sweet nothing's.

SWF, love dovey ><, talk of nightmares and trauma, kisses, cuddly sunday is my husband, ooc, reader hinted to have ocd, (curing my nightmares with this shit)

A flickering haze, a flood of dark swirling lights as your mind goes blank—frozen—you swear. No movements and your breath coming to a freeze, or so you thought. Up and down... up and down... your chest would raise. Heated breaths, heaving out of your mouth. Up and down, up and down. The gut-wrenching screams, flooding each forgetting memory in the back of your brain. It would resurface, make you feel ugly, and weird—disgusting, rotten.

The mere thought of the burning, the ache, the bruises... it hurt. You wanted to rip your hair apart, strand by strand, piece by piece. To pull the lashes from your eyes and the nails off your fingers. To watch your mother cry to you, pleading to run somewhere safe for you to survive—that smelt of rotten mould. The skies filling to a fog, a haze. A memory you wished to forget, but could not.

Pushing forward, each night... one, two, and three. The door is locked. Why must you check again? Nothing will happen. No one will hurt you. But the voice in your head, it swirled, it danced. So much vomit, so much tears and sobs of agony.

Check again. Check again.

Blank.

Empty.

Gone.

Where did the time go? Why is it fading? Do you feel happy on your birthday? Yes, because you're one year closer to death, to pure freedom. A lift to heaven, a twirl to the skies. Maybe then, you can hug them so warm and tight... sniffle into their chest as you chant 'I love you', like a prayer to the Aeons above. But no, you're stuck in here. Forever and ever, maybe you will go to the depths of the abyss.

The inner child cries and screams, but why? Are you not happy with him?

"Y/N." You felt your body shake to the side. Your eyes spread wide open before closing to a squint at the morning sun. Your face, it felt sticky and wet on your plush redden cheeks, "Are you alright, love? You've been crying for a while now. I couldn't seem to wake you up." A soft voice managed to say between the eerie screams.

It stopped. Silence. "I'm..." You started, words forming into a stuttering mess. It made your chest ache—burn—with extreme pain. A pound at your heart like you would drop dead any second. "Okay."

"Your not."

You felt a tickle of feathers run across your neck before arms snaked around your warm and sweaty waist. Bare palms, soft and pretty, caressed up and down the side of your body. You looked to your side, a beautiful man laid within' your grasp. "Why are you not a work?" You managed to muster against his heated breaths along your neck.

"Can I not spend time with you? Does my wife not want me around?" His voice was slurred, drowned in the ache of tiredness. He gently kissed the underside of your face, nose nuzzling in to pamper you, "It's just you and me, my dove." He pulled you in closer, giving you a gentle squeeze to show he cared, "Do you want to talk about it?"

You sighed, burrying your face into the fluff of his hair, "No, not really..." You mumbled, "Sorry. I just—" He shushed you.

"Take your time. I'll always be here for you, Y/N. Do you understand that?"

You nodded, feeling his finger interwine between your hair. He could tell you were tired, he knew when you were tired... like he did with everything else. He ran the pad of his finger down your nose bridge, gently humming a lullaby to soothe you away into a deep slumber. You swore this stupid, loveable man was magic.

"You deserve more than you think, Y/N... sleep well, my little gem. I'll be beside you when you wake up."

[rowiewritesstuff]

Yandere Tarn from MTMTE pls?

MTMTE Yandere Tarn X Reader

Tarn detested humans- so for you to get his attention you’d have to have something helpful or interesting about you.

The DJD was visiting a bar after a day of refilling their supplies. They weren’t going to go, but Nickel said that they should cut loose once in a while. There, a human tackled Nickels’ bottom half with a hug. 

Tarn was instantly protective, but a surprising hello from Nickel to you had him backing off. You looked up with wide eyes to see Tarn.

“HOLY- Wow! Tarn, it’s an honor to meet you!” You grinned up at him. “I’m a huuuuge fan of your work!” All of the DJD was stumped by your excited behavior. 

Nickel face palmed and pushed you off. “DJD, (Y/N). (Y/N), DJD.” She looked up to Tarn. “We met on the colony forever ago. They were one of the only humans there- who for some reason was attached to me.” 

They looked confused and Vos spoke up in his language. You answered, surprising everyone yet again. “Yeah, there was a weird explosion thingy and now I’m kinda old. I think I’m like… a few hundred years now? I don’t know. I heal quickly now so it’s hard for things to kill me.” 

Vos asked you how you knew the language. “Uh, I dunno. I just learned it over time. I can’t speak it though, our voice boxes are different from each other's”

The DJD spent a longer amount of time there than they had expected so that you and Nickel could catch up. While Nickel pretended to be annoyed by you, she was actually really happy to see you. You were the only organic she ever tolerated. 

The rest of the DJD got along with you pretty well too, despite them being off put by your fleshiness. Tarn had a hard time however, as he hated organics a lot more than most of the others. 

When Nickel asked if you could travel with them, Tarn said no. After a glare from Nickel and a few convincing words from the others, you packed up what little belongings you had and made yourself at home on the Peaceful Tyranny. 

Tarn had avoided you for a hot minute, but everyone else learned that you were an amazing person. You helped Nickel patch them up after fights, and even upgraded some of their weapons. Vos loved your input on his experiments, even if he’d never admit it. You often put together what he failed to. 

Eventually, you and Tarn were in a room alone. He noticed you were reading ‘Towards Peace’. 

“Is this your first time reading that?” He asked you. 

You didn’t even look up from your book as you mumbled at him. “No, I’ve lost count how many times I’ve read it.”

Tarn grew a little respect for you then. “What do you think of it?” He sat up in his chair.

You finally looked up at him with a small frown on your face. He didn’t expect anything good from your expression. “I love it. Its words are weaved so intricately, and these are words everyone should live by. Megatron, though? He should die for betraying the Decepticon cause. He’s a traitor and should be treated as such.” 

Tarn’s eyes widened from behind his mask. While the DJD read the book, you seemed much more dedicated to it. From that moment on, you and Tarn would often have political discussions. You both would argue about small, odd wordings in the text. You were actually the only one who was ever allowed to disagree with him on wordings, because no matter what you still had the same general ideals. 

Tarn had realized that despite being organic, you were honorable. He looked up files on you in the Decepticons’ database only to find that you were a simple clerk for the Decepticon cause. You were an honorary Decepticon- though not technically one at all. Tarn began getting closer to you, often being seen carrying you on his shoulder.

One day, the Peaceful Tyranny docked on a Decepticon-Friendly planet. You were in awe the entire time at the pure beauty of it. The sun was similar to Earth’s, though the sky was a pale purple. The moss that coated the ground was a pale blue, and the animals were adorable. 

You bumped Nickel a little bit. “I think this is where I get off, Nicks.” 

She smiled sadly at you. “I figured. You always were one for simple beauty. I’ll help you pack up to go.”

You packed your bags quickly, only having three to begin with. When you entered the main room you saw the rest of the DJD. You grinned up at them. “Well, thank you guys so much for your hospitality. I’ll hopefully see you guys again.” 

Everyone seemed a little sad to see you go. Right as you began your departure from the ship you were scooped up into a servo. 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Tarn’s crimson optics looked down at you. “You have become part of this ship, and it would be so unfortunate if you were to leave so soon. 

“I’m sorry, Tarn. I never like to stay in one place for too long.” You frowned.

“My apologies. I didn’t mean to make it seem like you had a choice.” This caused the room to feel cold. You looked up at tarn with a nervous grin. 

“Th-that’s not funny, Tarn. Put me down please.” 

Nickel glared at the tall bot. “Tarn, put them down.”

Tarn glared back at Nickel and to you. “No. You will remain aboard this ship- it’s dangerous for Decepticons off board these days.”

Kaon tried to speak up for you, but a simple glare was enough to silence him. 

You tried to jump down but he tightened his grip on you. Everyone felt tense and some even left the room. You looked down at Nickel who only looked away. She could only do so much to help you. 

Tarn tilted your chin up to look at him. “It’s alright. I’ll treat you the same as any loyal Decepticon.”

“Then why don’t you let me go?” You felt tears building up in your eyes as the large bot petted your head gently.

Tarn hummed at you while beginning the trek to his berthroom. “While you are a loyal Decepticon, you are still an organic who doesn’t know what’s best for them. Don’t worry- you’ll be taken care of. Unless, of course, you’re a traitor?” His eyes left you paralyzed. All you could do was stutter a quiet ‘no’ out. “Good. You do know what we do to traitors, after all.”

[cupidsworstcrime]

House x Veteran Fellow nonsense

My brain is tiny, and I've had this sitting in my drafts forever. I might add to it if there's demand, but I don't know lol!

summary/blurb: A new fellow gets hired, shit SWIFTLY hits the fan.

note: its dual POV cause I love house. Word count: 4759

~~~~

Liliya

Being a marine is usually just something that happens when you have a military family. Both parents, grandfathers, great grandfathers, all military. It’s just something that you grew up comfortable with, you expect it, you don’t have any other life plans because you were born to serve. But now I was here. Freshly discharged yet still needed to serve. Be of use.

Med school was a bitch, honestly, but I needed to help people. Needed to be ordered around. Hospitals are like the military, no? Just less guns. Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Meeting with Lisa Cuddy, a dangerously beautiful woman, to see if I was fit to work here. I was standing in her office, hadn’t sat yet, hadn’t been permitted to. Maybe I shouldn’t be putting my weird militant expectations on her, but she was in charge of this hospital, so by proxy in charge of me.  

“You can sit, it’s just an interview.” Her voice was soft, almost motherly. Did she think I was nervous? I mean, I was, but did I look nervous? She was in a white coat, lovely black dress, and heels. Way better looking than I, that’s for sure. I was in cargo pants, a tucked in white shirt, and some boots. I looked stereotypically military, but this was my whole wardrobe. I didn’t have beautiful dresses and heels. Not that I didn’t want to, just haven’t had the time.

I sat in the seat in front of her desk, “Thank you again, ma’am. I really appreciate that you found the time to interview me.” My hands folded politely in my lap. She flipped through my file, leaving us in silence for a minute or two. 

I hated silence, but luckily, she spoke up soon, “And… Your pain management… What are you doing for that?” Ah, the reason I was discharged in the first place. As if on cue, the pain in my ankle started. The left one, the one I didn’t have anymore. 

Pain management? Was she accusing me of being an addict? “Grit and bear it.” I answered honestly. I didn’t want to be doped up all the time, took Tylenol as needed, physical therapy, the works. “Is being… Is it an issue?” My amputation was something that made me leave the marines, I hoped it didn’t affect me now. On bad days, I had a mild limp, on horrible days I needed a wheelchair. The worst of it was the chaffing, the cloth sock of the prosthetic rubbing harshly against my …. Well nub, for lack of a better term. I could still be a doctor. I can still serve a purpose.

She smiled, so I smiled, “Look, I would love to hire you.” Oh… I see… “But the doctor you’ll work under… he likes to perform his own interviews.” She reached across her desk, her hand in front of me as if to comfort me. “I think you are a shoe in, I do. Dr. House is kind of an ass, but he’s the best damn doctor we have. Don’t let him push you around.” She withdrew her hand and scribbled something onto a post-it note. 

I stayed obediently silent, waiting for her to speak again. I never liked speaking without permission, I hated it more than I hated the silence. I looked down at the hands still neatly folded in my lap. I was so focused on my hands, on staying quiet, that I didn’t even hear her speaking until the post-it note was being handed to me. 

“This is his office, I let him know you’re on the way.” I looked up at her, then down at the sticky note, taking it.

“Thank you, ma’am.” I said as softly as I could, standing up and offering my hand to shake. She didn’t take my hand, so I let it awkwardly fall back to my side. “Thank you again, really, I mean it. This is a great opportunity.” As I saw myself out, she had this look of almost pity. It didn’t feel like the usual pity of my past, more like a pity for whatever was about to happen in this next interview.

“Oh and, Liliya?” I turned to face her, “Don’t act so… quiet with him.” She suggested, she knew him best, had to be good advice. 

I nodded, “Yes ma’am.” I said, then walked out, gently closing the door behind me. Don’t be so quiet. Talk to him. I mean, working in Diagnostic Medicine meant talking, I knew that, but speaking felt wrong. 

As I walked to this office, I had this sense of impending doom. Was I going into the right field? Was this for me? Born and raised to serve, never stopped for a moment to think that maybe I was in over my head. I was third in my class, I knew I was smart enough for it, but fuck was I even prepared. I felt out of place walking amongst doctors. Maybe I would get lucky, and Dr. House would turn me away. Wait. I don’t want that. Right? I want this job?

I thought I wanted it. I mean, I just was on this weird thought train about needing to serve. Needing to be of use. But as I walked the halls of the hospital, I felt nauseous. Like really nauseous. God, I want to turn around and go home, nauseous. Where even was home anymore? Jersey? Texas? Kansas? Any marine base?

Through the glass wall, I could see three people sitting at a table watching an older man write on a white board. I knocked on the door as I poked my head in. “Dr. House?” I said softly, everyone turning to me. I felt a light blush creep up my neck and the tips of my ears burned, gently letting the door close behind me. “Dr. Cuddy sent me down here for an interview.” 

My hands were held behind my back, at half attention. I looked at the older man, he had to be House, I doubted he would be a fellow. His eyes were so blue. Like painfully so. My eyes fell to his cane, I tried not to stare, I really did. I’m not gonna be weird, act like I had a weird cripple kinship with the man. But as I shifted my weight to my good leg, I felt relieved. Surely this meant my disability wouldn’t get me turned away. 

“Ah yes,” The older man spoke as he hobbled over to his desk where a stack of files sat, “Military brat, right?”

I shifted my weight again with a wince, “Yes sir.” I didn’t think I was a brat, but I wasn’t going to argue with the ‘best damn doctor in this hospital’.

He opened a file, didn’t look up at me, “Sir. I like that.” He pointed at the three people, two men and one woman, at the table, “Take notes.” I chewed the inside of my cheeks nervously. Why wasn’t he asking me questions? Why did these interviews not feel like interviews? Was this just the most unprofessional hospital? His eyes shifted from the files and seemed to focus on my legs. Oh, he’s at that part of the file then. 

He scoffed, “Wow, does Cuddy think I’ll just hire the first cripple to walk through that door?” His eyes lifted to mine. I figured the question was rhetorical, so I stayed silent, staring back at him. “Speak!” I almost flinched. Right, Dr. Cuddy told me not to be quiet with him. 

I took a breath, trying to stand a little taller, “Sir, I really don’t see why that would matter?” I shifted my weight to my good leg once again. “I promise, it doesn’t hinder me in any way.” That was a blatant lie. 

He rolled his eyes, “That is a blatant lie, I would know. And I still have my leg.” He looked back at the file and sighed, “What does your pain management look like? Any drugs?” 

I cleared my throat, crossing my arms under my chest, “I just take Tylenol if I really need it, otherwise, I just grit and bear it.” I repeated, it seemed to be my mantra. Something flashed in his eyes, almost looked like jealousy. Why was this question so important to them?

“No Vicodin? Ketamine?” I shook my head, and he nodded, “Alright, then I have a question.” He looked at me expectantly, I just looked back, “Oh my god, speak girl! What’s that? Timmy’s stuck in a well?” He said with a glare. Someone at the table snorted, and that burn at my ears returned.

I hated my quiet little habit. “Sorry sir, what’s your question?” He closed my file and walked back to the white board. It read: 

‘Hemolytic Anemia, Clotted Retina, Failing Liver’

“Diagnose it.” He said, gesturing to the board. Hep E was a possibility, lupus as well. 

I walked closer to the table, looking over a blond man’s shoulders. I reached over him, my chest against his back, gently dragging my ringer over the file he held. “He’s 16?”

The blond cleared his throat, “Uh, yeah.” “Been out of the country?” I took the file and leaned back against the table next to him. He nodded and I hummed, “Hep E?” 

House laughed and snatched the file from my hands. “Chase and Brat, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!” Okay, well that was childish. “It’s not Hep E.” 

“One, stop calling me that please,” He smirked, “And two, what about lupus?”

***

It was not Lupus. I barely even remember what happened. Something to do with termites, a cat autopsy, and House got punched by a father. Very eventful first week. I had someone's vomit on my shirt, my pants had a small tear from an accident with a shovel, I smelt rank, and hadn't left the hospital all week. Felt like home. I got some body spray from Chase and practically bathed in it. I sat alone in the office as I filled out paperwork. I hated the quiet. Hated it. You’d think after years and years and years of constant noise, I’d revel in the silence, but it just made me anxious. Yet, I’m not much of a talker. Is that ironic?

I had music softly playing from my phone, humming along. “Why are you still here, Lassie?” Fucking Lassie, he’s been calling me that all fucking week. 

I gestured at the table, covered in books and papers, “Paperwork,” I wasn’t trying to sound annoyed on purpose, guess it just happened when you don’t sleep. 

“It can wait till tomorrow.” I didn’t bother looking up at him, just kept scribbling away silently. A pair of scrubs was thrown onto the table. “At least go shower,” He said gruffly, “Paperwork will still be here when you get back Lassie, promise.” 

I sighed and reached for the body spray again, “can’t shower here.” I tapped my leg. “Takes so long to take it on and off, I’ll just get this done and go home.” I sprayed the body spray on me and set it down. I looked up at House, under his eyes were red and he was sweating a lot. Like, a lot, a lot. Withdraws, a lot.

I must have made a face because he rolled his eyes, “Pharmacy hadn’t had my pain meds,” I made a soft ‘ah’ sound, and went back to paperwork. “How do you not just… Drown yourself in Vicodin?”  I shrugged, staying silent. I think he liked my quietness more than Cuddy expected. More than he expected. He doesn’t seem like one to have these conversations. Related to his pain meds? “So, you just live like that?” I nodded. “Must be nice,” he said, finally opening the pill bottle in his hand and taking two. I think the silence was a good place for him to just bounce words off, knowing I wouldn't judge him out loud.

“I don’t know if having my purpose in life ripped away along with my leg, can really be called nice, sir.” I didn’t mean to spit it the way I did, but he didn’t seem insulted. 

He smiled a bit. “Angry about it?”

“Immensely.” I said honestly. It was never in my plans to lose my leg 2 years into my military career, and then pull myself through school. “If you’re not angry, you’re not human.” I scribbled my last little notes and closed the file. I stood, “Night, House.” 

“Night, James.” He scowled, “That felt weird.” I shrugged, I was just happy he was calling me by my name, last name or otherwise, over Lassie.

“Can just call me Liliya if calling me a man’s name bothers you that badly.” I tried to compromise. He called a few others by their last names; I understood why maybe he didn’t feel comfortable with mine. My C.O.s didn’t like it either. 

He scoffed, “It’s not that it's a man’s name. I’m not a sexist.” I gave him a look and he raised his hands defensively, “It’s just a friend’s name.” He took another Vicodin and I had to hold back my frown. “You sure we can’t just stick to Lassie and Brat?” I shrugged, going silent once again. 

“Wanna get a drink?” I was surprised by my own question. 

He smirked, “Man, I’m gonna have to stop hiring female fellows if they keep falling for me.” I rolled my eyes and shifted my weight, crossing my arms. 

“I meant as coworkers,” I took a breath, “Look, we had a shitty week, you more than any of us, yeah?” He nodded. “Let's go out tomorrow night. You can always just not come; I don’t mind drinking alone.” And I left. Surprisingly an amputee was faster than a man with an infarction. 

The next night, I may have gotten a little dressed up. Only a little. Used my day off to go dress shopping, picking out a lot of nice clothes for myself. Including a slightly sparkly black dress that went to my mid thigh, three different pairs of black heels, and a handful of makeup and hair products. 

So, I was sitting in a bar, prosthetic crossed over my leg, nursing a rum and coke. I didn’t actually expect him to show up. I heard the annoying beep of my on-call pager and groaned, ‘9-1-1’. “Shit,” I whispered and rushed out. I rang up House, and it went straight to voicemail. “Hey sir, got the page, on my way, but, uh,” I ducked into my car, “I had a little to drink and I don’t have time to change,” I started my car, “Be there in like 15, don’t kill anyone.” And I hung up.

As my heels clicked about as quick as they could across the floor. I tried to ignore the insecurity I had for my prosthetic that my niece stuck hello kitty band aids over to ‘make me feel better’. I pushed House’s office door open, “Sorry I’m late sir.”

“Chase,” House spoke, facing the white board, “Tell Brat what happens when you are late.”

Chase turned to me, and his eyes widened, “Well shit, Liliya…” I tried not to blush as his eyes trailed me. Foreman cleared his throat and Chase seemed to zone back in. “Just… Damn if you’re gonna be late, make sure you’re dress like that I mean fuck-”

“Chase!” Cameron chastised in tandem with Foreman, causing House to finally turn around.

His blue eyes looked me up and down and he smiled. He knew I dressed like this basically for him. “Lassie, why are you dressed like a hooker?” Oh, you cunt. 

My hands folded behind my back, “I was meeting someone for drinks, sir.” Why was I standing at attention? Felt like it. 

“Kinky.” He said, leaning against his cane, “Hot date?” I rolled my eyes, he was doing this deliberately now, the fucker. 

“Date? Probably not.” I walked further into the office, reading the white board, “Hot? I don't know sir, he’s probably older than my father.” I didn’t know if I found House attractive. Maybe? But I wasn’t about to feed his ego like that. He probably wasn’t older than my father, but the way he looked when I said that made me feel vindicated. He rolled his eyes, focusing on the board again. Did me not finding him hot… bother him?

Chase laughed, “You like older guys?” I looked back at him and shrugged. I stayed silent as I took my seat, having talked enough. He nudged my bare shoulder, I just smiled and listened to House as he ranted about the case. I felt kind of loopy. Drunk almost. That didn’t make sense, I had one drink, and I didn’t even finish it.

I must have zoned out because soon someone was snapping in my face, “Earth to Lassie,” the voice was gravelly and yet smooth. I hummed softly and looked up at House with a smile. The lights in the room were off but it was still light outside, “How much did you drink waiting for me to show up?” I figured no one else was in the room, no way he’d be so open if the other fellows were here. I silently held up a finger. “One what? One tequila shot? Jager bomb?” He mumbled, sitting down, lowering to my level.

“Rum and coke.” I said with a soft laugh. I stared into his gorgeous blue eyes, and I leaned in slightly, “you’re pretty.” God, he was pretty, wasn’t he? Those sweet baby blues, stubble I wanted to drag my lips against. Woah there, Liliya, calm the fuck down, holy shit. What's wrong with me? This doesn’t feel right. Something feels wrong.

He smiled and turned away from me, “Yeah right. You’re wasted.” I leaned against his shoulder and hummed softly. 

I had an ache where my left calf would be, “‘m leg hurts…” I whined softly. God, it hurt so bad. Like it was being stabbed repeatedly. I whimpered a little, rubbing my face against his shoulder.

“The left?” He asked, knowing the answer but I nodded anyway. His hand went to my thigh, gently tugging down the sock that helped hold the prosthetic to me.

I giggled through the pain, “Buy me dinner first.” He smiled; it seemed half genuine. 

I heard him start to talk but I was overwhelmed with nausea. “Oh fuck…” I leaned forward, vomiting. At first, I thought it was the alcohol, but then my eyes focused and I saw the crimson puddle below me.

“Oh shit…” I looked up at House, he almost looked scared. He started yelling but I couldn’t quite hear him. My head hurt so fucking bad, my leg was killing me. And there it was, that sense of impending doom. That's definitely a symptom of something. 

“House…” I groaned, feeling arms wrap around me, several arms. “I feel… Fuck, I’m dying…” 

“You’re not dying, Lili.” Chase muttered above me, flashing a light in my face.

I shook my head, closing my eyes tight, “Feel like it,” I frantically tugged at the cleavage of my dress, it felt suffocating. I had this same feeling when I lost my leg. “Don’t… Fuck… Chase…” I Pulled him down by his collar, “If you break into my house, I will castrate you.”

HOUSE

I was holding a leg. Not a real leg. A stupid, metal, steampunk leg covered in ridiculous cartoon band aids. It feels like I am losing his mind, more so than usual. Feeling slightly out of character. And frankly, half pissed. Why the fuck was one of my best doctors currently vomiting up blood and thinking she was dying? Could I even call her one of my best? She’s worked with me for exactly 9 days. Plus she was a marine, Mr. House was a fucking marine. It was infuriating, the way she acted. As if she was bred and raised to be bossed around. Okay, that part I didn’t mind all too much. Sometimes.

I could ignore the blood on the floor, the blood on my shoes, my cane, the hem of my pant legs. What I couldn’t ignore was the makeup smudged on the shoulder of my blazer. She fucking nuzzled me as pain relief. Like a fucking rabbit. An annoying, beautiful fucking rabbit. Obedient fucking rabbit. Wow, Wilson was right, I am an actual predator. This girl was in her 20’s, she’s fucking sick, I’m her boss, and all I can think of is how gorgeous she was in that dress. How attractive it was that she didn’t leave the hospital all week till she was 100% sure that kid would be okay.

I’ve done worse things morally, hell my interns break into a new place everyday. I have Cameron on a weird leash that keeps her by my side with romanic hope, Chase sees me as some fucked up father figure, Foreman is Foreman. But wanting to fuck my employee, an employee half my age, against my desk was forbidden in my fucked up little brain. Great, now I had a headache. 

I threw Liliya’s prosthetic onto the table, it clanked against the glass. I took the little orange bottle out of my pocket and took 2 pills. Dry, the only right way to take the pills that were probably ruining my life, but I liked being in denial. 

I wiped the whiteboard clean, completely dumping the last case. We had a new focus. ‘Hematemesis, sense of dread, amputee(?)’ I wrote out on the board. Foreman was the first to walk back into the room. I leaned against my cane. “Diagnose her.” We hadn’t even run any tests on her. It could have been really simple, but something told me it was more. She seemed like trouble.

Chase and Cameron followed into the room like little ducks. “Uh, I don’t think the amputation has anything to do with her condition.” Chase spoke up. 

I rolled my eyes, “Oh I’m sorry, I seemed to have forgotten to consult what you think.” I glared at the blond rich bitch, “What makes you say they aren’t related?” 

“Well for starters,” I was beginning to hate his accent. “She lost it in the military, mid-service. I doubt shrapnel from 5 years ago really led to  her throwing up blood this morning.” Doubt.

“Was the surgery performed out of the country?” I asked the man who seemed to know all about sour sweet doctor. Am I being possessive? Fuck thats weird isn’t it? I hobbled to the file, still thrown lazily onto my desk. I read through as quick as I could

James , Liliya

Age: 27

Sex: F

Boring, boring, boring, bingo.

Left leg amputation, 6/11/20XX, Tripler Army Medical Center, Honolulu HI

Wow, my birthday and a base my dad used to be stationed at. Awesome, I hate marines. 

“House, it’s been 5 years, plus the tests aren’t even back yet.” Cameron said softly, “She probably could have just had too much to drink.” Okay, well that pissed me off more.

“Yes, Moron, cause I too, get shit faced off one ‘coke and rum’ waiting for my date to show up, just to come into work and throw up blood on my boss’ boots.” I fucking hate this hospital. I took another vicodin. 

Foreman shrugged a bit, “Maybe she’s just a really big lightweight, I mean, she dozed off in the middle of diagnosing the other guy.” I needed a new team. I didn’t actually, I don’t know why they were pissing me off. Is it because I secretly wanted something to be wrong with her? Wanted her to have something terminal and fucked up? Die in 3 days, so I’m willing to fuck my pervy boss, terminal? I’ll ask Wilson later. 

***

“Is it really that bad?” 

“Yes!!” Wilson said ludicrously, “Wanting to… God, House, she’s a kid.” I scrunched up my nose.

“Don’t say it like that, she’s an adult.” She was, a fucking gorgeous one at that, “Have you seen her ass, Wilson? It’s fucking perfect.” I wish I had a chance to see under her dress, I should have gone drinking with her. Damn it. But then would she have vomited blood on me mid-sex? That would be hard to explain. Would we have even had sex? Fuck, we definitely do in my dreams.

Wilson buried his face in his hands, “You do remember this girl is in the ICU, don’t you?” He’s right. I’m being a freak, more than usual. There was something actually wrong with me if I was ever even humouring the thoughts. The fantasies. I’m her boss. And now her doctor. This was fucked on levels I didn’t even think I would have cared about. She was a sweet girl, she didn’t deserve to be trapped in a perverts mind like this. …Well she was already running around in there like a hyperactive rabbit, might as well let her stay up there. God, she was a sexy rabbit. 

Greg, Liliya is sick, stop thinking, you fucking predator. I hated fighting with myself. 

I felt so out of character. Why did this small, stupid woman make me feel like a character in a shitty erotica that all the Christian moms tried to get banned from the public library? Some freak ass’ self-indulgent fantasy. 

I sat in Liliya’s hospital room, sitting in the chair in the corner of the room. I spun my cane in my hands, irritated. Irritated that I was the only one that thought there was something wrong with her, the only one concerned that she had to be intubated, that she aspirated on her own bloody vomit twice in the past three days.  Irritated that my mind was blank, unwilling to risk her health for our guesses, doing treatments that could kill her if we were wrong. 

I didn’t want to hurt her in any way, it's agonizing. I wish I didn’t care that I could separate her from the diagnoses I had to get, but I couldn’t. Every time I looked at that fucking whiteboard, I felt nauseous.

25 years old. Texas native. Born and raised in the South, her military records are pristine. Two years into active service, she was caught in an explosion, resulting in the loss of her left leg below the knee. Multiple surgeries followed, all performed by military surgeons in various tropical field hospitals. 

I tossed the file back onto my desk and turned to face the team. "Field hospitals aren’t exactly known for their pristine conditions. Could be an infection that lay dormant."

Cameron frowned. "But wouldn't an infection have shown up sooner?"

"Not necessarily," Foreman interjected. "Some infections can remain asymptomatic for years, especially if they're slow growing. It’s a long shot, but we should consider it."

I pointed my cane at the board. "Good. What else?"

"Could be related to her prosthetic," Chase offered. "Improper fit, causing chronic irritation, leading to an ulcer or infection in the stump." Haha, stump. 

I nodded. "Get a sample from her stump and run cultures. Check for any signs of infection, bacterial or fungal. What else?"

"Stress-induced gastritis?" Cameron suggested. "She’s been through a lot of stress and trauma."

"Possible," I conceded. "Get an upper endoscopy to check for any lesions or ulcers."

Chase scribbled the orders on his notepad and hurried out. Foreman and Cameron followed suit, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I stared at the whiteboard, the words blurring together.

Why did this feel so personal? Why did I care so much about this particular case? It wasn't just the challenge, though that was a part of it. It was her. Liliya. She had a fire, a determination to keep going despite everything life threw at her. And damn it, she was beautiful. That much was undeniable.

I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. Focus, House. She’s a patient, not a prostitute.

The results came back faster than I expected. No signs of infection in the stump. Cultures were negative. Upper endoscopy showed mild gastritis, but nothing that would cause severe hematemesis. We even got her drug tested in case maybe her drink was spiked.    

Damn it. What was I missing?

I stormed into Liliya’s room, the team trailing behind me. She looked up, her eyes dull with pain and exhaustion. I really hated that she was my patient.

She started to sit up, wincing. God, why do I care so much about this woman. "What isn’t in your medical file?”

[nikoshinigami]

My Takes on KHR Pairings

No one asked for it, but I do so love me some character analysis and head-canons. So here are my personal justifications and thoughts on 8059, D18, 6927, and 10051

8059 This is canon, isn't it? I don't even need to explain how Gokudera is the pressure Yamamoto needs in his life to apply himself and Yamamoto is the grace Gokudera needs in his life to not be so hard on himself? Even their fighting styles support each other. They are dating in the manga as far as I'm concerned. If you didn't read the manga and think half the reason Gokudera was so loud about his hate for Yamamoto was basically Unresolved Sexual Tension and Gay Panic, then I can't help you. The canon speaks for itself, and it speaks loudly. Where most KHR pairings tend to be of the 'two sides of the same coin' verity, these two are opposites attract.

D18 Dino and Hibari have the same core values. They protect their territory, they inspire their subordinates, they are respected leaders, and they love a good fight. They both admire and respect individual potential and don't garner unrealistic expectations of others--they know there are exceptions and not everyone can rise to their level, but those who can had better get their act together.

Dino initially sees a wild and beautiful brat of a creature when he looks at Hibari but learns to see his kindness and fairness as he reflects on their similarities. Hibari sees a never-ending battle that in truth he hopes does go on forever, because he's never before had someone in his life who could break him down, bare and bloody, no tricks and no respect lost, day after day, and follow it up with the proper care after to ensure they can both continue in the morning. There's the rocky post-trauma start considering the last time Hibari thought he was walking into a fair fight, he was deceived, tortured, and kidnapped all thanks to mafia foolery (Fuck you, Mukuro~). But after a while in the woods, knowing this time he won't be left to rot with many of his bones broken, trust and respect are built and last a lifetime.

The man with the bronco on his arm hasn't broken in the wild creature, because he himself has been considered a force of nature and he knows it's best to let wild things run free. Hibari is allowed to be his weird, unintentionally funny, and aggressively possessive self, while Dino gets to bask in that feeling of being the only one at a house party that the cat will let pet it, seeing the softer side of Hibari that others might see but still never quite understand the meaning behind.

Respect and admiration turn to passion and reverence. Even if mafia politics only ever let it be sexual trysts, their mutual assertiveness makes it a high-adrenaline encounter that lets Dino really let loose and enjoy enforcing his dominance since his partner needs him to prove he's worthy every single time, even if only for pretense. Meanwhile, Hibari gets to be gentle and quietly seductive with Dino in ways no one would believe, relishing in the power he has over the allied Don even without lifting a finger. In the end, it's a power play for both of them that works because Hibari doesn't prioritize a win so much as he is enjoying each fight, and Dino, head of his territory's criminal organization by birthright, needs to feel like he earned it sometimes in a way only adversity can prove.

6927 Put each on either side of a window and they'd think they were looking in a mirror. Mukuro was a child abused by the mafia, his future stolen from him for its ambitions without any consideration for his own wants and desires, made close friends with others put in the same position as him, has a strong desire to protect those close to him even at the sacrifice of his own life and security, and tends to overcome adversity against the odds--prison even proving only an inconvenience as he continues to exist in the wider world mentally at least. Tsuna is a child currently facing abuse within the mafia, his future stolen from him because Vongola decided his fate without any consideration for his own wants and desires. He's made close friends with others now pulled into the mafia's schemes beside him, has a strong desire to protect those close to him even at the sacrifice of his own life and security, and tends to overcome adversity against the odds--even seasoned assassins failing to take him down. In the end, they both came to the same conclusion: the mafia is corrupt and should be burned to the ground. Mukuro has been planning the destruction of the mafia since childhood, and Tsuna told Primo he would not uphold those evils but tear it all down. Mukuro's abuse is exponentially more egregious than Tsuna's, but with that, his reactions and responses to that trauma are also more exaggerated. At the end of the day, though, you have Tsuna forced on a transformative journey, and Mukuro who, having been there and come through the other side, possesses the knowledge that there is no excuse good enough to excuse this and no punishment more fitting than annihilation.

Because of this, though, Mukuro has a kindness towards Tsuna. A curiosity. He recognizes the fact that the mafia as it exists will destroy Tsuna and try to reshape him into something else. He didn't know Tsuna before their fight--he expected someone like Xanxus, someone already made cruel and warped by ambition. He didn't know he was advancing Vongola's objectives by engaging with him, but in his defeat like saw like. Their mental bond is almost a subconscious reaction to guilt at being a pawn yet again in another mafia family's power play and wanting to warn against obeying the established authority presented to Tsuna. Mukuro refuses any show of vulnerability, but without thinking about it, has shown Tsuna that he cares about people and that he's suffering. Reborn does not want Tsuna to forget about Mukuro's crimes and to potentially stop seeing him as a threat just yet, but Tsuna has regret about the Vindice taking the Kokuyou crew back to prison--sees them rightfully as victims and wants better for them than more mafia 'justice' when it was the mafia that created them in the first place.

Tsuna, whether by their bond or his intuition, sees through Mukuro in a way no one else can. He can cut through his bullshit, recognize when he's lying or being obtuse to avoid vulnerability, and see the frown hidden behind the smile. Mukuro, on the other hand, keeps Tsuna from the evils of complacency. Cognitive dissonance makes it easier to stop fighting your morals and go along with what everyone else is telling you you have to do when you have no alternatives. His right hand is a mafia shill, his other friends trust him and the mentors who have gotten them this far which were supplied by the mafia. Mukuro alone can and will comment on the true moral failings of the mafia and has no reservations in doing so. If ever Tsuna needs to feel like he's doing the right thing, all he needs to do is look to Mukuro for confirmation.

Mukuro is also the only one Tsuna can let his guard down around fully as a mafia boss. Gokuders is a fixer--if Tsuna vents to him, Gokudera takes it upon himself to tackle the problem rather than simply listen. Yamamoto is an optimist--if Tsuna vents to him, Yamamoto tries to cheer him up and make him feel better. When Tsuna vents to Mukuro, it's shit talking time and every petty bone in the illusionist's body is happy to be in on the action. Gurl, go on~ He enjoys some catty behavior and acknowledging that a lot of people are the worst and everything sucks is a topic he is here for. Does it help anything? No. But Tsuna feels heard and seen and validated and that is important. They grow closer because it's only with Mukuro that Tsuna gets that validation and he trusts Mukuro's perspective because they understand where each other is coming from. And Mukuro is never so loyal as to hold back on telling him he's being a dumbass--something the others might refrain from doing out of respect for their Boss.

Neither of them has strong, familial bonds. Tsuna was neglected and Mukuro was.. given up to human experimentation. They both crave soft, cozy, warm love and affection. Cuddles on the couch, maintaining touch throughout sleep to feel assured the other is there and assure them of the same, gentle caresses and soft, sweet kisses. It's almost a platonic love where playing with each other's hands and fingers is a high level of intimacy. They could probably be fulfilled and happy and loved without sex in their relationship. Which is good, because Tsuna is trying so hard to conform to what he thinks a straight teenager should be, he hasn't even had time to figure out who he actually is, while Mukuro has spent his life so untrusting and full of hate, the question has never required an answer.

10051 If Amano had written Byakuran a backstory, this would be easier to defend. What is Byakuan's perfect world? What's wrong with the current world in his opinion? What is he? Where did he come from? These would be really helpful to know. But instead, we learn about him through Shouichi. We learn they went to the same university so Byakuran is likely similarly a mechanic/engineer--or my choice of physicist (theoretical) if going to a school for sciences. We know they collaborate well together since they devised Choice, and that Shouichi is a simp for his charisma. We know Shouichi trusted and believed in Byakuran enough to join his mafia family and take on ranks and titles under him. We know Byakuran believed in Shouichi enough to give him it all, and even after their time at college, they both wanted to be invested in each other's lives forever (the mafia is not something you walk away from). We know Byakuran legitimately thinks the world of Shouichi, his best friend, even if he would sacrifice him for his ambitions. We know Shouichi legitimately thinks the world of Byakuran, his best friend, even if he would betray him.

While Byakuran is effortlessly endearing and boisterous, Shouichi is quieter and enigmatic. They are the Extrovert who adopted the Introvert trope except Shouichi is no wallflower. Shouichi is courageous, cunning, and manipulative while Byakuran can be playful, caring, and genuine--as well as the reverse. Neither is, necessarily, a better person than the other at their core, and their actions are equally as grey when we don't know what it is that Byakuran wanted to give the world that everyone was trying so hard to stop. Would World Peace have been worth a handful of deaths? The ambiguity leaves a lot to question if you don't fall into the "any sacrifice is too high a cost" set of values.

Strong headcanon, but I believe Byakuran wanted a world that he could be a part of. He is obviously not human, even without the Mare ring he was able to see across alternative dimensions, and he seems to be completely detached from consequences. If you've seen an infinite number of Shouichi's, is there such a thing as the 'real' Shouichi? If you've seen kingdoms rise and fall based on a butterfly's wings, is there any permanence in institutions? If people love you in one world and are indifferent to you in another, which is the truth of their feelings? If all things are possible, then nothing is concretely true, real, or genuine. You are a player character surrounded by NPCs and worlds you can load up as you like where you can simply move on if you get tired of the scenario. Byakuran was already a god, but he was a god railroaded into living a life of limited possibility despite infinite options. I think he wanted one timeline, one truth, one world in which things were perfect and he knew he was with the Shouichi, and he was the Byakuran who got to live his life. This makes the most sense of why they had to stop Byakuran in that future specifically--because all other parallel worlds would cease to exist if the Byakuran of their future specifically won. And if the toll of his victory is an infinite number of casualties, then the stakes are so high that it makes sense why the burden of it crushes Shouichi and physically pains him at every step but also why he still cares deeply for his best friend despite it all. Because he can't offer an alternative solution; there is no cure for the level of insight Byakuran has gained and the level of detachment it has caused him over the decade. Even telling him that no matter how many Shouichi's exist, he is himself and unique and special to Byakuran is hollow because surely every version of himself would wish to think so too. He knows how happy Byakuran would be to live in a "real" world with "real" people and there is no way to give it to him--in fact, he knows he is what caused Byakuran to begin to lose his connection with reality in the first place.

Both of them will lie, cheat, steal, and murder to get what they want. And I think Byakuran is constantly amused when he is reminded of how calculating and cold Shouichi can be. Shouichi, on the other hand, is exasperated by Byakuran's childishness, but uncomfortably attracted to the sheer force of his personality. They are a switch couple. Shouichi hates it when Byakuran starts to treat him like his sweet, docile bottom and will turn the tables on him to prove he is and has always been a perfect match for Byakuran's cunning. And Byakuran doesn't care if he's baby girl or daddy so long as he has a good time. Friends, to lovers, to enemies, to… friends? Their relationship is tangled in the memories of people they will never become. And that makes them even more fascinating.

[caterpills]

(Six) (Seven) Several Sentence Sunday

Hello, friends!! Thanks again for the tags @myheartalivewrites @blueeyedgrlwrites and I'm going to borrow @sparklepocalypse's open tag too! It's a weird time this Sunday, and I have an 'everything I write is not great' vibe today, but I'm powering through!! And I know I'm my own worst critic, so... I wasn't exactly sure what to share from the next chapter of This Is More of a Comment Than a Question without spoiling some surprises (or just copy-pasting a whole scene), so here's a little bit:

Henry seems to have caught onto Alex's tangential subject changes and doesn't even ask for clarification this time. "Yes, I'd like to think so. But even still, saying it out loud wasn't always an option for me. It took much longer." "When? Like, when did you finally say it out loud?" "After I finished my first draft of Generations," Henry says quietly, simply. The statement catches Alex off guard. That doesn't seem right. The way Alex remembers Generations, there was such surety in James's narration, in the deft and decisive way he speaks to his father about his identity as a gay man, what it means to him, and what it will still mean after he is gone. The impossibility that Henry might not have had that same confidence before he wrote the book doesn't exactly compute. "Really?"

(This takes place in one of my favorite locations of this chapter, so I'm excited to eventually share!!)

Open tag as always, friends! Please tag me if you use it because I would love to read what you're working on ❤️

Because this has been a hard writing week, I'm going to share some "behind the scenes" stuff from the most recent chapter about the locations around D.C. that Henry and Alex visited. (I did this for the Boston chapter, too!)

The Hay-Adams Hotel

The historic Hay-Adams Hotel might be the most ridiculous place Alex has encountered in his life. It's bougie, like old-money white people bougie. His teeth hurt from clenching his jaw so that he doesn't say anything off-the-cuff to get him immediately kicked out. Valets are at every door, rushing to grab the handles before Alex can even think to reach for it. The interior is covered in plush burgundy rugs, thick brocade curtains, slick wood paneling, and ugly as sin chandeliers. Sure, its proximity to museums, parks, and the White House make it a prime location for tourists to blow money for a deluxe experience in the nation's capital. But there is something so viscerally unsettling about the distinct haunted house aesthetic the whole place is giving off. The Great Hall, Library of Congress

The cocktail hour takes place inside the Great Hall of the Library. Alex gawks at the lofty ceilings, rising a steep two stories, and ending in radically intricate stained glass windows above them. After their visit in Boston, Alex finds himself looking everywhere, trying to find the pieces that cursory glances would miss. It's not just a historical building, but there is a purpose in the choices and a beauty in everything, even in the absence of something. Henry taught him that.

The Coolidge Auditorium, Library of Congress

At the podium, Henry runs through the obligatory thanks: to the hosts, the Library of Congress, the National Book Festival organizers, the committee of literary judges who have given his novels so much consideration over the years, the rest of his fellow authors who have done such groundbreaking work this year, and to the readers—always the readers.

He clears his throat, looking up to the back of the auditorium. Whatever Henry is searching for, and ultimately doesn't find, changes the way he stands. There's a drop in his shoulders, a disappointment sliding across his face. Before Alex can look for himself, Henry starts reading.

Off the Record Bar, The Hays-Adams Hotel

His dinner is a bowl of mixed nuts and a glass of whiskey, neat. He takes another sip, and finds his tumbler empty. So, scratch that, make it two whiskeys for dinner.

Alex knows he can't stay here forever—the bartender kicking him out at closing time doesn't count—but he wants to wallow. It feels good to wallow, where the only things that can see him feel so spectacularly low are strangers and the framed caricatures of notorious political figures on the wall. He can drink away his disappointment, encased by the black-and-crimson color scheme of the speakeasy decor.

[nonotnolan]

Soul Stones: Long Distance

“It feels like it’s been forever since you’ve held me in your arms, and your trip is only halfway over.  Honestly, I have no idea how people in long distance relationships can stand it.”  The texts and calls helped alleviate some of the longing, but it was still rough knowing that Oliver was hours and hours away.  Oliver wasn’t out to his parents, so when they told him about their plan to send him on vacation to Singapore for an entire month, he couldn’t really protest without raising suspicion.  They were only going to pay for his ticket, and there was no way I’d be able to afford the trip on my own.

I placed my boyfriend on speakerphone so that I could scroll Instagram while we spoke.  “At least everything is going fine over on my end.  Same old boring life.  My work gets done, my boss doesn’t hate me... could be worse.  What about you, how’s your trip?  If it’s even as half as good as these photos, it must be sweet.”

“Heh, yeah... it’s so gorgeous out here, Brian.  Like, part of me says that I should be lying to you so that you don’t feel bad that you’re missing out, but... dude, we’ve gotta come back here later.   I even managed to make a few friends with some guys who are also on vacation.”

I couldn’t help but laugh.  “Oh, you managed, did you?  Yeah, I’m sure it was so hard for the extroverted socialite to make friends.”

“Yeah, yeah, shut up...” he said, in that voice he uses when he knows I’m right.  I could picture his blushing, and it was just entirely too cute.  “But like, there wasn’t a guarantee there would be people my age here.  I’m gonna count it as a win.  Besides, you would not BELIEVE some of the people I’ve met.  Like, this guy, Alfie?  He’s the one I’ve tagged in a few of my other photos, and... well, I don’t want to ruin the surprise I mailed you.”

It was my turn to start blushing.  “Ollie!  You didn’t have to do that, what the heck?  You’re on vacation, you’re supposed to be enjoying yourself!  You don’t need to send me anything.”

“Well too bad, I sent it to you anyway.”  Oliver had quickly shifted back to his normal smug self, which I had to admit was part of his charm.  “Speaking of which-- have you checked your mail today?  The tracking slip says it should have arrived by now.  I think it’s small enough that they were able to put it in your mailbox.”

Sure enough, there was a small bubble-wrapped envelop waiting for me in my mailbox.  Inside was a brown, marbled stone covered with intricate carved runes.  “Oliver, it’s beautiful.  What’s the story behind it?  I didn’t expect Singapore to be known for its--”

There was a sudden lurch, and I suddenly found myself staring into the face of Oliver’s friend.  That would have been weird enough, but it was clearly a mirror that I was staring at.

“It’s a body swapping stone,” Oliver said, coming up behind me and resting his hand on my shoulder.  “Well, a pair of swapping stones.  I didn’t believe it either, until Alfie showed me how they worked.  It was his idea, obviously.  He doesn’t need them anymore, and so he gifted them to me when I told him about our long distance situation.  I figure you and Alfie can swap bodies Friday night, swap back sometime Sunday afternoon, and we can just... do that for a few weeks until the trip is over.  And I’ll be taking mine home with me at the end of the trip, in case we ever need them again.”

I found myself running my hands along the ridges and curves of my new skin-- surprisingly soft new skin, I had to admit.  “And Alfie is... fine with this?  I mean, it sounds like swapping bodies every week was his idea, but like...  He knows what we’re going to be doing to his body, right?”

“Of course, Brian.  As long as I have permission to do the same in yours,” said the voice over the phone.  I recognized it as the sound of my voice-- or, my body’s voice, I suppose-- though hearing from the outside was incredibly weird.  It made sense that he’d be on the line, it wasn’t like I had hung up on him.  “Oliver volunteered your body for me to use, but it’s not cool of me do to anything unless you tell me it’s okay.”

I hadn’t even considered that, to be honest.  Granted, I was the only person who didn’t know that body swapping was possible a few minutes ago. “Yeah, of course, dude.  Just, you know... use a condom, don’t drive my car if you’re hammered, that sort of thing.  And I guess I’d rather you drive downtown if you’re looking for a random hookup, just so that you don’t run into anyone I know.  Outside of that... good grief, Alfie.  You’re doing us a huge favor!  I can’t believe you’re just giving us these things.”

“Hey, I’m just glad someone is able to get good use out of those things,” he said.  “I haven’t used them in several months, and... well, I don’t really need them anymore.  I bought them for cheap, so it’s whatever.  Just... do me a solid, and give them away if you see someone who could use ‘em.”

“Yeah, I think we can manage that,” Oliver said, looking over at my face.  Now that the shock had worn off, I was already starting to get horny-- clearly he was feeling the same way.  “Thanks again, Alfie, talk to you later!”  He hung up, tossed his phone onto a nearby bed, and swept me up into his arms.  If this is what our long distance relationship will look like?  I think we can manage.

[wndstrrrry]

hi pokoomf 1. so what's the current situation (therapy wise) for everyone?

2. what kind of dates do gilserge go on? or what do they tend to do together

3. does gilserge have a pet in this au?

4. what's the relationship between rosemarine and gilserge like/going to be? since rose helped them escape but they currently dont know

hello user motohagios, this is gonna be a LONG one but it's ok because i like to yap

1. so uh, currently the only people receiving therapy are renault and liliath as it is!

liliath goes to therapy for a bunch of issues he eventually opened up about (specially the beautiful boy club shit and its Consequences on him), he's been in therapy since he was fifteen. why fifteen? because leon had already graduated and the whole gilbert shit kinda got him spiraling for a bit, so he went home and broke down. it was a bad summer. but he's okay now :))

renault only really started therapy after leaving bonnard's house, a co-worker (not serge) was the one who told him he should because he had been struggling a lot at first. he's still struggling, he might struggle forever, but he's coping well. he stopped going for a bit because he got stressed but then serge offered him to move in with him and gilbert for two reasons:

- rent is easier to split between two people!

- gilbert would probably like the idea (he did, because he likes renault very much)

so once that was settled and the financial burden was less intense and he wasn't home alone all day (because THAT was killing him and making him go insane) he went back! yay!

gilbert DID attend therapy while he was hospitalized (over the accident) but it was more of a forced treatment (for his ED, the addiction issues, allat.) so i doubt it did much, because he just wanted to go home. he didn't go back because there's no money for that and he doesn't really want to.

2. before That (drugs+accident) happened, they didn't go out that much, sometimes they went on walks but that was about it. both of them were really fucking tired so nothing really came out of it.

after that ... well (? they still don't go out much (gilbert's petition, he doesn't like going out that much now.) but they do hang out at home. sometimes they watch movies, or documentaries, or anything (it's usually serge choosing the movies, gilbert doesn't care much about those)

when they DO go out it's just to restaurants or to look at stuff in stores (this one they only do it when serge gets paid because he knows gilbert likes to ask for things, lmao) (and when gilbert is in a good mood because he thinks stores are a pain in the ass) (his autism diagnosis still hasn't happened, i'm afraid)

3. yes! serge found it on his way home from work and brought it home because:

- gilbert would like that

- the poor thing was cold.

it wasn't supposed to be a permanent thing, the idea was to give it up for adoption at the end of the week, but gilbert liked the cat a lot so they kept it.

it's been very helpful for his emotional state, however ... serge doesn't get as many hugs at night now ...

4. well, they found out eventually ... rosemarine had to go to the hospital when the accident happened since they needed a relative (gilbert was still a minor at the time, so ...) and the closest (best) option they had was rosemarine, so pascal called him and explained the situation lol

rosemarine didn't really want to do it for gilbert (their relationship is still strained and weird, they don't really like each other but they might, eventually) but he still appreciates serge a lot, so he did it for him and his sake.

he wasn't much help for gilbert though, because he yelled at him when all that happened. scratches head.

[iridescentis]

AGATHA FINALE I HAVE THOUGHTS!!

BILLY MY BOY!!!! OUGH I LOVE HIM IF HE HAS NO FANS I AM DEAD AND BURIED

AGATHARIO KISS BUT AT WHAT COST AAAAAA MY HEART 😭 that was such a heartbreaking and beautiful way for her to go but damnnn I wanted to see more of them!!! I swear the only context for their relationship we got was Agatha calling her 'my love' or something LIKE THAT IS NOT ENOUGH COME BACK AND TELL US THE STORY

I am SO MAD that Jen got her powers back then disappeared I WANT TO HEAR HER STORY!! it pisses me off so much that they just randomly say oh it was agatha who bound her whoops lets undo that okay bye bye Jen!!! little happy flying away moment yippee!! like NO she deserves WAY MORE TIME for her character

as much as it pains me that Alice had to die it does make sense why like someone has to show how Death works but its still so sad :( honestly her death is so impactful because it feels undeserved, it feels too early and that's the whole point. We're supposed to feel like her death was unnecessary because that's exactly how she felt about it, she wasn't ready and neither were we!!!

I MISS LILIA 😭 I also understand Lilia's death like even though the road wasn't "real" she still saved everyone from the salem seven

on that note WAS THAT REALLY IT FROM THEM??? LIKE WHAT. the salem seven show up all weird a few times get skewered and THAT'S IT? THAT'S ALL IT TOOK?? baffling honestly

I love that Billy made the door into a gravestone for Lilia Sharon and Alice that was so sweet :') I think it's such a good way for his character to go, beginning to accept what he has done wrong and moving forward rather than embracing evil entirely or drowning in guilt I love that for him

Agatha and Nicky :((( oh my loves, my heart is broken, they really did ramp up the sweetness of their bond just to make it hurt more when he died and it completely worked I am crushed

AND AGATHA COMPARING BILLY TO NICKY OUGH MY HEART I AM SOBBING oh I really do love them so so much :(<3

I am SO excited for whatever comes next with Billy and I love how they ended it in such marvel fashion it's so silly them walking off to find Tommy y'all can do it I believe!!! It's gonna be fucking forever until we get anything new with them but I hope they get their own TV show or something (it will deeply piss me off if they skip all of Billy and ghost Agatha's journey to find Billy and move straight onto a group movie with Billy in it like NO I want to see more of these two!!!)

Jen better make a reappearance at some point istg she better be back!! Rio also better return there is always death in the MCU she has to have something

I THINK THAT'S EVERYTHING! There definitely are issues and things that could've been done better but I'm pretty happy with the ending we got! :D Even though I'll miss this show so much 😭