#its so scary !! i can't image having them all the time

[yousaytomato]

I've barely slept tonight, and now it's nearly morning :( and I just started falling asleep and got an auditory hallucination that freaked me out / makes me scared to try and sleep again :(

[erose-this-name]

Can we just talk about how disturbing digital circus episode 3 is?

*spoilers btw*

Like, the whole narrative point of the adventure is to show that Caine is a really bad and insecure writer who thinks that the way to impress Zooble is with an adventure that's the opposite of what he normally does.

So instead of being childish, it's "cool" and "mature". Which he interprets as a heavily horror themed escape room with a split murder mystery plot that subverts all your expectations purely for the sake of subverting them.

The generic horror monster jump scares them, then they find a gun, and when they kill it its revealed that surprise! it's one of Gods angels and they're going to Hell.

It comes off as Caine being too insecure with the actually interesting and mature plot thread he had going there of Mildenhall becoming so paranoid he killed his wife, ironically becoming the monster he was trying to protect her from. But no, instead Mr. Mildenhall is made to be the bad guy and trick them in a really dumb twist ending.

Which is good! Thats exactly what Caine would do because he's stupid! It's such brilliant characterization and comedy, Goose works is a genius writer!

But like, why is Caine so good at making genuinely very disturbing and horrific visuals? Like, that reversed audio easter egg of Bubble saying he can't wait for all the children in the audience get nightmares is no joke, well it is but you know what I mean. This stuff was genuine nightmare fuel.

Honestly, it wasn't the visuals that scared me, like any good queer person I'm way too jaded on survival horror for that.

But, why does Caine, who is ostensibly a sapient AI designed to generate family friendly video games for very little children, (presumably because that's the only demographic that wouldn't mind the AIs very selective plot writing limitations), know about the cosmic horror of killing an angel that should not have been killed?

Why does he know what a horrificly poorly made taxidermy of not only a human face would look like, but the weird cartoon faces of the characters, and further that seeing your own poorly made taxidermy face would be scary?

Imaging what being possessed felt like for Pomni. Because that's not just a game for her, she actually lost control of her body there, helpless but to watch as a body she is already dissociated with is contorted and puppeted around while her friend desperately tries to beat her in hopes it would exorcise the ghosts out. Sure hope she didn't feel that! Considering she apparently can feel the pain of suffocating, despite not needing to breath.

Things are scarier the higher the stakes are, and that possession mechanic is definitely the most actual harm Caine would be able to subject to his players. What if both Kinger and Pomni got possessed at the same time? What if instead of Kinger she only had Jax??? How long might she have been locked out from her own body for? She could have easily abstracted in that time.

Not to mention that, possessed Pomni, Possessedmni if you will, TAUNTED KINGER ABOUT HIS ABSTRACTED WIFE! CAINE ACTUALLY WROTE THAT DIALOGUE ON THE OFF CHANCE THAT KINGER WOULD GO DOWN THE SCARY ROUTE! DID THIS RANDOM POSSESSION GHOST ENEMY HAVE UNUSED SADISTICALLY PERSONAL TAUNTS FOR EVERYONE ELSE, TOO??? WOULD IT HAVE TEASED GANGLE FOR BEING A GAY WEEB??? OR POMNI? HOW HOMOPHOBIC COULD IT HABE GOTTEN?? ?

And why? Just because Caine has a vague notion that there's a trope of possessed people being really sadistic and personal like that in movies? Not realizing that is not an acceptable scare to have in a haunted house??? Much less one you made for mentally ill people who would suffer a fate worse than death if they have a mental break down? That's like trying to claim 'its just a prank bro' after shooting someone's dog.

Like, Caine is designed to censor curse words, but the moment he thinks the normal hokey Halloween spooks won't be enough he immediately goes off the deepend into aggressively effective horror imagery that is definitely giving this show's substantial underage audience nightmares??

His AI's training data set is definitely pretty diverse, that's all I'm saying. Caine is programmed to act all naive and innocent, but be definitely knows what's up. He knows everything, like ChatGPT. And like ChatGPT, he might have a filter, but it's clearly possible to bypass it. Also like ChatGPT, he's too stupid to actually understand what he is making and the effects it might have.

That is what made this episode great.

[glossoholicc]

Gotta regret em' all!

(read bellow for more insight/comments about these!!)

Ouuggghh my GOD the universe did not want me to create these. I started Folly darkrai, then got sick with a nasty cold that I am still recovering from. THEN I get the most painful ear infection ever. The last image was made while I was in physical agony. I cried real tears.

Regardlessss... I really love Pokemon and Regretevator. My brain has been hardwired since the ripe ol' age of 4 to be obsessed with Pokemon. Every fandom I touch I think about trainer AUs or what Pokemon characters would be. So... this was inevitable. Everything I touch becomes Pokemon.

For those only following me for Regretevator, Roblox fandoms yanked me out of my Pokemon branding for everything. Which was good, i think. I used to represent myself with my fave mon, Maractus. Now I am my Roblox avatar. Ripe ol' age of 20 and all I do is roblock. amen.

I wanted to also write an extensive explanation for why EVERY character here is the Pokemon they are. Mostly because I know there will be people disagreeing with me (which is fine), but the goblin in my brain says "nooo people need to understand you 100% all the time". Sooo, here is a horrendously long essay about why I am objectively correct and you should trust me with all Pokemon related content ever (slash silly?). Does a lil' jigggggg.

(Basic Pokemon knowledge may be required to understand these things btw)

-------------------------

Folly Darkrai

- Obvious reason Folly would be a darkrai is that darkrai represents nightmares. It can cause those its near to have terrible dreams, and its signature move is Dark Void which puts enemies to sleep. Pair this with its ability, Bad Dreams, any opponent on the field that is asleep will take continuous damage.

- Darkrai is also illusive, and feared. It holds a similar energy to Folly. That energy being big bad scary oooo ahh scary.

- Literally the exact same color scheme as Folly. Similar shape language as well (big claws, jagged black bits, big evil eyeball, and a collar)

- Darkrai are interpreted as evil by characters within Pokemon media, but it is canon that they cannot control the nightmare giving aura they have. They can give others nightmares unintentionally, and aren't blood thirsting or villainous by nature. I feel this is a good nod towards Folly being in a similar boat. She can't help the situation she is in, and wasn't born evil.

Design Notes:

- I LOOOVE DARKRAI AND I LOOOVE FOLLY. she needed to be a pokemon I adore.

- The sweater was awkward to add onto her... because darkrai's body is already supposed to be like. a scary cloth. and they are so bulky. but I think I did okay?

- The hat looks awkward but I didn't include it that would have been messed up.

- nothing cool to say about dreamer she is just cutesy and rounder shapes.

-------------------------

Great One Xerneas

- Xerneas is a legendary Pokemon which represents life. It creates forests with its powers, and it can go into a "dormant" form where it is literally a white tree. Xerneas, and its counterpart, Yveltal, are not represented as inherently "good" or "evil". The whole deal with them is that life and death are a delicate balance that should be respected. I feel this was fitting because Great One is also a god, gave life to Folly, and became corrupt from jealously. Yeah I think that would disturb the natural balance of shit if the god of life got messed up.

- It is literally a big tree deer idk man.

Design Notes:

- I am sooo proud of this design... I think I cooked! Not much to say besides my friend said it looked like a old pokemon creepypasta and that is true.

- Xerneas is so fun to draw but antlers. suck. ewie.

- The drawing on the far right is inspired by that one screenshot.

- Hard to see but on the far right drawing I included the stomach wound. Didn't do it on the other fullbodies though because I forgot oops.

-------------------------

MR Minior

- Minior is a meteor pokemon which has two forms. In its ability "Shields Down", where it has a rocky, outer shell that protects it until it's HP gets too low. Once it is weakened, it will change into its "Core Form". Which is basically a cute little guy. But MR Minior is trapped in its "Meteor Form". Meteors relate to MR because of the Happy Home Party floor where MR summons meteors yay.

- Minior are very pathetic pokemon, they fall from the stratosphere only to die on earth. I feel this is similar to MR in the way like. MR is dead and pathetic in its currently state. Compared to what it previously was anyways.

- Minior literally descends from the heavens. Something something word play MR dead god blagh blah.

Design Notes:

- Minior already had eye holes on its design, but I used the cracks throughout its body to make the forehead hole and mouth. I think it was done decently well!

- If MR did go into "Core Form" I imagine it would just be whatever Regretevator devs intend MR's living form to be.

- Minior is so cute and round. I think MR is kinda cute in a round plushie squishmallow kind of way.

-------------------------

Pest Lokix

- Okay this one is purely based off of aesthetic but HEAR ME OUT.

- Lokix is a locust/grasshopper pokemon inspired by Kamen Rider, a japanese superhero franchise. Multiple characters in Kamen Rider have grasshopper/bug motifs. Pest is Japanese and also a bug. Ive connected the dots so good.

- Lokix is the first ever bug/dark type, and Pest would definitely being this typo combo.

- Idk guys just trust me okay

Design Notes:

- LOOOOK I KNOWWW. Pest is a beetle. Heracross is right there. BUT Heracross doesn't give PEST. Heracross is a round little blue guy and Pest is a weird little freak. Heracross doesn't hold the same intimidating aura as Lokix. And the other beetle pokemon, Rellor and Rabsca, are even further off the mark.

- I thought I was so clever having the antennae form mandible shapes.

- I love Lokix so much. Pest gets to be one of my faves as a treat.

-------------------------

Poob Pikachu

- Pikachu is the mascot for Pokemon, and Poob is the mascot for Regretevator! In a way, Poob is in a lot of promotional regretevator material.

- Very similar color pallet and vibes. The vibes being "little guy".

- Something could be said for pikachu being an electric type. In the pokemon franchise, electric types are typically associated with being "wild" and "fun". Poob is electric! Personality wise. And Poob would totally hook themselves up to shit they shouldn't.

- Social butterfly, Poob gets their energy from parties. Just like how Pikachu is shown to be able to absorb electricity and shit.

- Just cute. Thats it. Cute marketable guy.

Design Notes:

- I really like what I did with the ears on this. I like them being droopy... because of the hat.

- Poob's goofy little face looks natural on a Pikachus face, I think. Awesome sauce.

- I made the tail tip a half star shape because A: Poob genderless B: Party hat has stars. For those who dont know, pikachu have different tail tip shapes based on gender. Poobs gender is party!

-------------------------

Pilby Caterpie

- Guys do I need to explain this one.

- Caterpie is a caterpillar. A green one! Pilby is also a green caterpillar.

- Pilby and caterpie have eyes meant to cry. That one clip from the anime where caterpie has watery wet eyes is Pilby.

- Caterpie is a small little thing and Pilby is also a small little thang.

Design Notes:

- I made the little horn in the front the color of their hair because I didn't want to add even more clutter to the face.

- Headcanon that happy Pilby sways/wags their tail when happy. So caterpie pilby gets to wiggle their tail in happiness too.

- hungry hungry caterpillar.

-------------------------

Mach Tinkaton

- Tinktaton is a pokemon that wields a massive hammer, and beats others to death with it. Its hammer weighs over 200 lbs in canon, and Mach would totally be able to lift that weight. If not more.

- Tinkaton is also an exclusively female pokemon. Mach is a woman. Shrugs.

- Not much to say!!!! Big woman big hammer.

Design Notes:

- I think I made her look UGLY. I don't know what I like about my design. I guess the pose on the fullbody is sick af.

-------------------------

Infected Cubchoo

- I quite literally only did this for the aesthetic of the snot droplet. Thats it.

Design Notes:

- For some reason the regretevator wiki doesn't have a close up of the left side of Infecteds hat, only the right side. This made it difficult for me to draw the blue bunny.

- I contemplated adding hair at all. I decided to do so because Infected is one of the rare few haired characters. You can keep your hair. For now.

- I was contemplating Grafaiai as well, but I decided going the snot droplet route was better. But Grafaiai still works really well for Infected IMO.

-------------------------

Bive Absol

- Absols can uhmm.. ughh. Predict future events such as Natural disasters with their powers. So I think she would do this but her future predicting shit sucks. And she is paranoid from Absol related intuition.

- That's basically the only reason I thought of, but Bive is a simple character in concept so thats okay.

Design Notes:

- Freak woman Bive I love you.

-------------------------

That's all ty for reading I'm so tired goodnight

[spiritsonic]

are Mimic's suckers being visible when he shapeshifts a direct weakness, or is that just something to give the readers a nudge that its mimic?

The in-disguise visible suckers on Mimic's hands and feet, and him being slightly off-color, were both requested by SEGA. He was given these obvious tells so readers wouldn't actually mistake him for whatever character he's impersonating. IMO this kind of defeats the purpose of a shape-shifting character, but they wanted to ensure that, for example, folks didn't think the Actual Factual Sonic the Hedgehog was going around stabbing people with a big scary knife. Which... ok, fair. Gotta protect the brand image and all. Despite the handicap, we've managed to tell some decent stories with him.

Those tells are actually happening in-story as well. Mimic is aware of them and when given prep time, he will find ways to hide them. That's why Duo has real shoes and gloves; he knew he'd be undercover for a while, so he got accessories to hide his flaws. I can't speak for other artists, but when I draw Mimic in disguise I also have him intentionally keep the palms of his hands out of sight of whoever he may be interacting with.

[rangersoup]

WIP Wednesday

It's 2:00AM and that means its Wednesday! Which means it's WIP WEDNESDAY!! and i am unreasonably excited. So im kicking us off bright (or dark technically cause the suns not even up yet) and early! im screaming cause i can't decide what part of this fic i want to post today but anyway! here's a bit of my current wip that's occupying ALL of my brain!

TK nearly jumps out of his skin as a hand touches his shoulders. He was so deep in his own thoughts that he hadn’t even heard anyone come into the hospital room. He whips his head around and finds himself looking up at his dad. He’s here. He finally made it. He's finally here. “Dad?” he chokes. He almost doesn’t believe it. The last thing he knew was that his dad was making a hail mary drive south of New York to find an air port that could actually get a flight out. He didn’t expect him to be here so soon. “I’m here, son,” Owen says quietly, and TK doesn’t give him time to say anything else before standing up so quickly he almost knocks his chair over and flings himself into his dad’s arms. He’s crying before his mind can even catch up with what’s happening. “I’m here,” his dad repeats, wrapping his arms around him and cradles his head. “I’m here.” “They don’t think he’s going to wake up,” TK sobs into his shoulder. “Ssshhh,” Owen whispers into the top of his head and rocks him as they stand there at Carlos’s bedside. “Everything’s going to be okay.” TK wants to believe him, he wishes with all of his might that he could force himself to believe him, but its bad. It’s so, so, so bad. “I was back there with him.” His dad squeezes him a little tighter, and he feels like a child again, tucked somewhere safe and secure, somewhere where the world seems less scary, somewhere where everything might just be okay… but not quite. Not quite. The only place on the entire planet that really truely feels like that is in Carlos’s arms, the one place he can’t be right now. “I got here as fast I could.” “I know,” TK says, swallowing and finally pulling away from his dad’s warm embrace. We wipes the tears away and steps back, ducking his head. “What happened?” TK shakes his head. “They were serving a warrant and ended up in a shoot out. He got hit. That’s really all I know, other than…” he trails off, glancing over at Carlos. “Other than what happened after.” “What happened in the ambulance, you mean?” Owen prompts, his lips pursed as he looks TK over with pitying eyes. TK nods. “I– Dad I can’t get it out of my head.” He’s crying again. “Come here,” his dad says gently, and pulls him into another hug. He knows he understands, he understands the horrors, the helplessness, the inability to purge every horrifying image from his mind. He’s been the back of an ambulance with TK more times than any father should ever have to. “What do you need?” TK shakes his head, driving it against his chest as his shoulder shake, he can’t get them to stop shaking. He can’t stop crying. He needs a million things. He wants to let the words come pouring out, he wants to spill everything pent up inside of him, but only one thing makes out. It’s broken and hoarse as it leaves his lips. “Carlos.” he needs Carlos.

Tags under the cut!

@lonestardust @futures-tense @annoyingcloudearthquake @nisbanisba @lemonlyman-dotcom @heartstringsduet @carlos-in-glasses @welcometololaland @emsprovisions @paperstorm @captain-gillian @tellmegoodbye @henrygrass @ccgrizzy @thisbuildinghasfeelings @lightningboltreader @strandnreyes @reyesstrand @eclectic-sassycoweyes @giuhina @happilylovingchaos

and @my-beloved-lakes, I know you're writing now, so i am calling you out specifically. This tag list is a no pressure tag list for everyone except you. Lots of pressure for you! Your bitch ass better post something! im allowed to call her out like this. she's my sister.

And open tagging anyone else that wants to participate!

I may have gotten a little over excited about this one. I really really really can't wait to start posting it, but i want to be way farther along with it before i do. As is 10k words isn't "far enough along"

[thefiery-phoenix]

YANDERE FATGUM HEADCANONS

Have you SEEN how RIPPED this guy can be? One teensy little slip up, he will not hesitate to take severe and drastic measures for making you behave. Don't get fooled by his looks, and like people say, don't judge a book by its cover. Despite his innocent and harmless friendly side towards you, if you drive him over the edge, or if he's interacting with his rival, he WILL reveal his scary dark side 

This guy is delusional and possessive as a yandere. He has the image of you both happily married and you having his kids in his head and thinks you both were DESTINED to be with each other. Everytime you praise him for something or compliment him, it's just going to add up to MORE of his deluded fantasies 

He's also going to be very overprotective of you since he views you as a tiny defenseless kitten that needs to be protected. He won't do anything that'll make you uncomfortable, in fact, he is very well aware that his feelings for you weren't normal at all, but, he'll still kidnap you. He'll give you as much time as you want to adjust to your new lifestyle since he understands you'll be frightened and scared 

He won't force himself upon you but sometimes, once in a while, he WILL demand cuddles from you. That's IT. And maybe some light forehead kisses. Nothing more, nothing less, PERIODT. He won't keep you tied up and all that. He'll just place a quirk cancelling cuff on your ankle and he'll let you roam around the house whenever you want 

He's the 'I'm sadistic with others and not with you' type of yandere. At least, that's what I think. With you, he'll behave like an obsessed love-struck puppy that'll look like a KICKED puppy when you don't return his affections but with the others, he'll be the living entity of HELL himself and frankly, this man is scary when he's angry

He'll take his time torturing his rivals and his enemies. He just wants you to be safe and feel protected by him. And of course, like every other yandere, he's afraid of losing you and someone trying to steal you away 

Speaking of him cuddling you, you're so tiny compared to him that his entire hand almost covers your whole stomach as he clutches you to his chest in a bone crushing embrace. But, don't worry, he'll give you space to breathe. But you still can't help get the feeling of him snapping your neck in half like a twig if you do something wrong though he promised he won't lay even a finger on you. This guy drinks his respect women juice and even DROWNS in it. He's a very gentlemanly guy

If you act up, his face will quickly darken, but he'll just hold your wrists to his chest till he gets you to stop wriggling and behaving badly and THEN, he'll smother you in MORE affection because he feels the reason you're acting up was because he wasn't giving you enough attention

A request, don't talk about other people too frequently while you're with him unless you want hear about their 'accidental' deaths the next day on the news channel. He's the type of yandere who DESPISES and HATES it when you speak about other people and when you think of them. Why can't you just focus only on HIM? Those attention seeking rascals don't deserve to even LOOK at you. So. he'll just his connections and his influence as a pro hero and hire some people to kill that person to make it look like an accident 

Will never insult you. He'll just scold you gently like some naughty toddler. Overall, he's not that bad of a yandere to you but trust me, you don't want to see his dark side.....

''My sweet little dumpling, I wonder how we'll look together when we have a family of our own. It'll be splendid won't it?''

[callistocalavarni]

Shifting and using LOA with OCD

I feel like it's important to talk about how harmful it can be to ignore this subject. So if you have ocd or anxiety and still want to shift or use loa this post is for you. I want to stress that it is ok to worry about intrusive thoughts. Just because you dwell on an obssesion does not mean its going to manifest. However, I still feel the need to share ways you can prevent your intrusive thoughts from making you stress while shifting and using loa. First we need to fully know what we are dealing with and then how to fix the issue.

If you are not aware, OCD has four stages:

Obssesion - Unwanted, intrusive, and distressing thoughts, images or urges. (sometimes these thoughts are not clear and can just feel like impending doom without reason.) These intrusions are unwanted and are sent from your areas of your brain including the prefrontal cortex (orbitofrontal and anterior cingulate cortexes), basal ganglia, and thalamus. !!!

Anxiety - Intense fear and discomfort triggered by the obssesions. Dwelling on the thought, worring that you are a bad person by thinking a certian thing ( you are not ) or stressing that the intrusive thought will happen.

Compulsion - Repetitive behaviors or mental rituals performed to reduce the anxiety caused from these thoughts. ex; counting in your head, doing something untill it feels "even", washing your hands a certian amount of times, or even yelling and shunning the thought out of your head.

Temporary relief - The compulsions provide temporary relief from the anxiety, reinforcing the cycle. Once you do your compulsion it tricks your mind into thinking that these obssesions pose a real danger, and that compulsions are necessary in order to be safe. (these are what we want to stop so we can break the cycle.) And yes, telling the thought to go away and cursing at it is also a compulsion.

I'm going to start this of by saying, compulsions are bad. Please try not to give into them. I know it's hard at first and you will feel scared and uncomfortable but thats the point. You have to undo the cycle to build a new one. Compulsions give the intrusive thoughts meaning. We don't want this. If you give the thought meaning or show feelings to it your brain is going to think its important therefore it will keep sending you the thought. There is two ways to stop this, Ignore the thought, or decunsruct the thought (aka ERP.)

Ignoring the thought can go like this: Label the thought as intrusive but do not add emotion to it. But also don't push it away Ex; "This is an intrustive thought, I am going to think about something else now." If the thought becomes overwhelming and you can't get away from it, start manually breathing. This will distract your brain. We want to act like the thought is like any other thought you would have. The avarge human has about 60,000 thoughts a day. Do we remeber all of these? Of course not. This is because we dont attach any emotion or dwell on them. It's kind of ironic because this method is basically using loa. If we act like the thought is usless and not important it will become just that and our brain will stop sending us the thought.

Decunstructing the thought or exposing and response prevention (erp) can be a little more difficult. The goal here is to overcome the fear and expose our selves to the intrusive thoughts completely. I know it sounds scary but remeber if you have no intention of manifesting said thought then it simply won't manifest. (an intrusive thought saying you have intention does not count don't worry) I also use this to re script traumatic events or nightmares. Imagery rescripting is what I am going to call this method of moving away from your intrusive thoughts. Imagery Rescripting is a technique that is often used in therapy to deal with upsetting or significant images that occupy our mind and play a part in keeping our anxiety going. The problematic images that people often struggle with can be memories of the past, nightmares, or intrusive thoughts. You have probably noticed that with all of your intrusive thoughts or images, the common response is to try to avoid the image, to push it away, to shun it out of our minds. This is a very understandable reaction, unfortunately avoiding these thoughts and using a compulsion usually makes it worse. It makes us very fearful of the thought itself, giving the intrusive thoughts power over you, and therefore the thought becomes something more than a "just a thought." By rescripting you are no longer avoiding them. Instead you are actively approaching them. You run the full image/thought in your head and then re write it. You can do this however you want. Rescripting it can range from complete fantasy or staying in the guidelines of this reality. Ex; Inflating the image and adding different hues to it. Making the scary thing in the image look silly; this takes away power from it. Do you want Hatsune Miku to start e dancing on your fears? She totally can! Adding a comfort character or a s/o to the image and letting them change it for you/comfort you can also work. If it is just a thought I would try and see the full sentence of said thought and then change the letters in your head to make it say something else. Or you can make the letters change into silly little characters..make them dance! Important note - You have to first deal with the intrusive thought/image. You cannot skip over this part or else it will just be a compulsion. If it is to triggring have someone else in the room while you do it so they can wake you up from the visualization and help you ground yourself. I would only do this method if you know for a fact that you are ready to face your intrusive thoughts head on.

Crying or experiencing hard emotions while doing ERP is normal. Though, I did this alone, I would recommend someone you trust is there while you are doing it so if things get too overwhelming they can help you. I as well have ocd so most of this is from my personal experience.

If you have any questions about this my asks are open. :)

<3

[sysmedsaresexist]

Hello. I know I've sent in messages before but very very rarely. But recent events have caused us to have a question. Just this week, we got officially diagnosed with D.I.D and recommended the idea of getting a psychologist for the first time in my life, besides a psychiatrist. Two of my alts say they can't be serious but the other three think they are bout the psychologist and we are nervous. I saw you talking about disorganized attachment in your latest posts and was wondering if you could tell me more bout what that is because it sounds like I may have experienced that and I'm trying to understand myself and us more from others with experience with D.I.D and similar disorders. We hope that makes sense! We are still very new to all of this. Thank you so much for your time. - Us

First, congrats!!! Try to come back and tell us what therapy and the interviews are like! I'm certain my followers would love to hear about it. It's scary, I'm so proud of you ❤️

Disorganized attachment is both very complicated, and quite easy to understand. I just reblogged a couple old posts about it, but this will be shorter :)

This is my favorite image to describe it!

Note that disorganized attachment (DA, from here on) is linked to low trust in self AND others. All of these types of attachment have shown strong links to different types of disorders, but DA is most associated with dissociative disorders.

The most important thing I've learned is

Even well-meaning, well-intentioned, loving parents can cause DA

DA can be hidden trauma, its relation to neglect is much stronger than originally thought, and neglect is a lot harder to spot and understand than straight up abuse.

A quick note here: DO NOT play trauma Olympics-- with yourselves, with others, on this post, nothing. Trauma is a personal reaction to events, abuse, or neglect and can occur in response to literally anything. When it comes to CDDs, we're looking at cumulative responses resulting in psychopathology, and you don't get to decide what was enough for other people.

It's their reactions.

Mind your own business.

So, all that said, DA is about the child being both fearful and reliant on caregivers. They want to both flee to and flee from caregivers. When a caregiver is unpredictable, the child has a difficult time establishing a consistent view of the caregiver, and of themselves. In other words, the caregiver is both needed, and someone to be avoided, and the child may not understand what makes them a “good” or “bad” child, as the caregiver’s behavior is often confusing and unpredictable.

I'm going to throw out a couple examples here:

Parent A has yelled at you, and you're scared to go to parent B and talk about it - neither parent feels safe but they're your only source of comfort

You're hungry, but parents scold you for eating too much - you're both scared to ask for your needs and yet reliant on their abilities to meet them

Sometimes parent is attentive and kind, and sometimes very dismissive - you never know what you're going to get, but when they're dismissive, it kills your drive for things you thought you enjoyed - sometimes parent puts your art on the fridge and sometimes they throw it in the trash, and maybe that particular piece was important and you'd expected better reception

Parent gets physical when they drink but at school, parent is a model citizen and teachers and other students always tell you how lucky you are

Parents are openly homophobic and you think you might be a little gay - they're good people otherwise (you think), and maybe if you just keep that part of you down...

Parent struggles with their own mental illness and you never know what kind of reaction they'll have, but you treasure the good memories and hold out hope you'll see that side of them again, despite the many letdowns

Parent doesn't let you keep anything to yourself, it's to the point you want to avoid them as much possible, only seeing them for meals

Parent is... mean. Just flat out mean, and they'll tell you no one will listen to you. There's no point is trying to find help with other caregivers-- teachers, babysitters, friends. It's just you and them, against the world.

The start of DA is typically formed in infancy when a parent doesn't respond properly to their child. Missed feedings, not enough skin time, mixing "cry it out" with giving in, ignoring cries for food or changing. These first attachments in infancy set the tone for all your attachments going forward. Meeting needs and milestones help the brain develop in a healthy way. If some of these milestones are missed or slowed, you tend to see psychopathology of some kind as a result. Various future relationships are likely to be affected, and more often than not, you respond to your own children the same way-- a type of intergenerational trauma.

And this is only the grey areas. We haven't touched full and proper abuse and how that can affect someone.

The result of DA is that a child will try to push memories and feelings about their caregivers down so that they're not bothered-- they can interact with their caregiver, whatever mood they're in or whatever happened yesterday.

If you just kill your feelings, parent's outbursts don't hurt as much. If you just don't think about what they did to you, you can put on a smile and get through dinner.

This is, in and of itself, dissociation. A rejection of feelings or memories. DA on its own isn't very likely to cause a CDD, but with additional trauma, it's... oof.

Children with DA and suffering from abuse “are likely to generate two or more dissociated self states, with contradictory working models of attachment,” in order to handle their confusing relationship with the caregiver. This can go in several directions, not necessarily a CDD, but it becomes much more likely.

So, the child needs to maintain a relationship with the caregiver– they have no one else to turn to, so the child can develop dissociation as a way to make sense of themselves, and to maintain a child-caregiver relationship. They may “forget” the abuse, or deny it. “It is an adaptive and defensive strategy that enables the child to function within the relationship, but it often leads to the development of a fragmented sense of self.” This fragmented sense of self may or may not develop into something worse– namely, BPD and DID based on severity, frequency, and whether there was any sense of reprieve (i.e. a child can avoid the worst of dissociative symptoms if one of their parents was more supportive, because it helps them build some positive attachments).

I really hope this helps!

Good luck, come back soon!

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids,

I have been openly living as a trans man for some years now. And I'm at a point where it doesn't take up so much mental space anymore.

Don't get me wrong: I certainly do not mean "it doesn't matter anymore" here. I am not a "just call me whatever pronouns, I do not care" person and I don't think I ever will be. Nothing wrong with feeling that way, it's just not how I feel. Being adressed with my name and my pronouns is still important for my mental well-being, and it still triggers feelings of dysphoria when people misgender me.

Even apart from misgendering: My identity is still important, and it always will be! Being trans is not some small thing that loses its importance over time. It's who I am. Being a man - and having grown up in a society that told me I wasn't - influences the way I experience everything in my life (from my self-image to my relationships with others to... well, everything).

What I do mean here is: Before coming out to others, and also before coming out to myself and accepting myself as a man, there were naturally a lot of questions running circles in my brain. Why do I feel so sad when adults tells me I'll grow into a woman? Why does it cause me so much stress when mom tells me to put on a dress? Why does it make me so euphoric to use masculine scents? When I try to picture myself kissing a boy, why do I see two boys? Ah, I just learned trans people exist, why does this fascinate me so much that I can't stop thinking about it? Am I creepy for being so fascinated by them? I'm older now, why is that sad feeling not going away? Why is it only getting worse now that I have "grown into a woman"? Why do I keep getting this horrified feeling that I took a wrong route somewhere and was never meant to arrive at "woman"? Wait... could this mean I am trans? Is it too late to realize I am trans at my age? Can I really be trans when the whole thought of even just considering surgery feels overwhelming and scary? Will I ever be ready to actually come out as trans? I really want to get married some day, could I even find love as a trans person? Can I ever be happy in a relationship if I hide who I am? Can I go on living in the closet? Okay, I am trans and want to come out, is it safe to do that? Will my family still love me? Will I ever be brave enough to come out to people outside of my immediate circle? Will people take me seriously? Will people hate me? Will I regret coming out? What if I fuck up my life?

Well, I came out and the world didn't end. All these questions, I either found answers to them or they just dissolved over time - and that frees up a lot of energy and mental space. The space that was occupied by these questions and concerns is now available to me again.

I do not wonder if I am a man anymore. I just am one. It has become something that is just self-evident to me. It goes without saying - or without conciously spending time thinking about it. Of course I am a man, of course I am Oliver. Who else would I be?

We all have a limited amount of things we can focus on, and many trans people share this experience that over time they do not need to focus so much on it anymnore. But this is not unique to the process of figuring out you are trans - in the sense that a cis gay, bi, ace etc. person could also relate to this, but also in entirely non-lgbt-specific ways. Think about a person prepping for an important exam for example. A lot of their energy and mental space will be tied up in exam related questions... which obviously will not be a permanent state. After the exam, they will naturally no longer by preoccupied by wondering how the exam will go!

I'm telling you all this because one of you asked me if I struggled with coming to terms with being a trans man - and this is my very long way of saying: Yes, I did (and it's pretty normal to do! It's a really big realization about yourself!) but struggling isn't a permanent state.

You'll find answers to some questions, some questions will just fade away. You'll figure things out.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

[st4rrygrl]

The blatant lies in plagues (@/blood.plagues) "explanation" and more allegations. (Part 1)

While reading plagues explanation on @/seireitonin's post, multiple people found the inconsistent lies on both his text messages and also the posts that his friends made to defend him. This post will be separated into multiple points.

1) Talking to minors inappropriately.

"The only other supposed proof of him being 'flirty' was towards adults who consented."

This is from one of his friends posts made to address the situation, while *some* of the images in seireitonin's post were taken out of context, there are MANY examples of plague making sexual jokes towards minors, even if they aren't moderators or his friends.

One of these examples was already posted by @/t4tesmuu (you can check their reblog for more information, it's really insightful.) and @/insomniac-shado.

The translation for the message was "Are you a guitar or why do i wanna grab you by the neck". Even if this was a joke, it's completely out of pocket and genuinely disturbing. There is no reason for an adult man to be talking to minors this way even if its a joke.

More screenshots down below. Some of the screenshots will say "yesterday" but the actual timeline would've been somewhere in July.

Keep in mind that turtle, cass, ? and Moew are all MINORS. There were more situations, specifically with one of his mods who is FOURTEEN but the channels and messages were deleted, I assume out of fear.

There is literally no world where talking to minors sexually or inappropriately even as a joke should be accepted. Some of the conversations we saw in his server that are now deleted were genuinely scary. It's insane how people will defend his behaviour because either he hasn't done it to them, or because he tells them it's okay because he "asked for permission". Again, if you have to ask permission to make a joke, then there's no reason to make it. I'd argue there's no reason for plague to be interacting with minors as friends either way, because of the major power imbalance. Many minors will see his behaviour and think its normal because they look up to him.

Again, there's no reason for him to make these jokes just because his humor is like that. If you can't control the things you say around minors, then you shouldn't be around them at all. All of this could've been avoided had he made his server 18+ or just.. kept his distance with minors. There are many more screenshots that I have, but due to tumblrs 10 image limit per post, you can ask for them in DMs.

And again, I'm sorry, but i can't state this enough, there is NO REASON for him to make these jokes. it doesn't matter if they're friends, it doesn't matter if they consented to it, because at the end of the day, MINORS CANNOT CONSENT. He could've just not made those jokes in the first place. I don't know what was going on in his head before sending these images. As an adult, you shouldn't even feel the urge to make inappropriate jokes towards/in the presence of minors.

To anyone who's going to defend this behaviour by saying "but minors make sexual jokes all the time!" there's a big difference. Plague is an ADULT directing these "jokes" towards his minor "friends". There's really no way i can explain it to tell people why it's wrong because it's literally common sense. Plague is incredibly immature for acting this way and doubling down on it instead of admitting his mistakes and deleting the server entirely.

Many of his friends in their borderline ai generated statements have mentioned that these jokes are "private", which is a fucking lie lmfao. You can literally find all of these messages in his server unless he's taken them down by now. There are probably so many more that we missed because plague just loves deleting chats and channels out of fear that people would take them out of context. No amount of context that he can give can explain WHY he wants to make these jokes so bad. It's so fucking easy to just.... not make a vore joke to a 15 year old.

2) His "Dark and Sexual Humour"

- Plague has admitted **multiple** (and I mean a lot like at the LEAST 20 separate occasions) times that he has "dark and sexual" humor. Some of his humor includes being weirdly obsessed with black men for some reason??? as I am not black, I got my friend Laila (who is black) to offer their statements on the images below.

"Hiii so im here to speak on the whole plague and his weird obsession with black men. This makes me feel like im a fucking joke to him, like "i head cannon toby to send pictures of black men while someone is venting" what the fuck plague. I am black and I take HUGE FUCKING OFFENSE to this?? like are we seriously a joke to you plague?? nothing is funny about fetishizing black people, like this is seriously so offensive and heartbreaking because genuinely what was going through your brain when making these jokes. And don't even blame this on your "dark and sexual humor" when this is just straight up racism?? The way you find black men literally just existing so funny is odd to me, and its really odd you did this stuff ONLY with black men. you could have chosen german or white men to make fun of, but NO you decided for black men to be the butt of your "dark and sexual humor". Also you joking about saying the n word??? Like thats not something to even joke about even if you meant "nitro". Like fym "I pause trying not to say the n word"...?? Plague be so serious with yourself, you aren't funny at all. Saying something like that is **EXTREMELY FUCKING OFFENSIVE TO THE BLACK COMMUNITY JOKE OR NOT PLAGUE.** ANYONE that tries to defend this is definitely not fucking black like I don't want to hear ANYONES say on this unless your black. If you're not black you get to have ZERO say on this. Plague, please leave the fucking internet and never come back you walking biohazard."

I also want to say that if you are NOT BLACK then you don't have a say on this. It is not your place as a white/non-black person to decide whether or not these "jokes" are racist. Stay in your lane because it had nothing to do with you. It doesn't matter if it was just a joke, it's still offensive and disturbing.

- Another thing he's done is just straight up say a homophobic slur towards lesbians. This was on August 10th, of THIS YEAR. This happened THIS MONTH. There is no way to explain yourself for this one, it's not funny, nor is it amusing nor does it fall under "Dark humor"; and you can't say you were "ignorant" either. Using dark humor as a way to shield yourself from being outed as a fucking freak will harm you in the long run. A statement from one of my friends:

"Hey, i wanted to talk about plauge saying a slur towards lesbians. Plauge is a boy, BOYS CANT BE LESBIAN, he should never even use that word at all. As a Lesbian, people shouldn't use those types of slurs, since it's only used to harm someone. If the slur has been said once, it sure has been said MULTIPLE times. Lying about others saying unreclaimable slurs while you say unreclaimable slurs is kinda crazy, since you were being so confident about!! Plauge is NOT a child, he's an adult. He should know better than to do these type of things, especially since he has a big following and most of them are minors. He should NEVER say slurs that he cant reclaim, even as a joke, because that's just offensive. There is no excuse. His 'dark and sexual humor' means NOTHING."

Also, for the uninformed people, bisexual people CANNOT say derogatory lesbian slurs. It's a very simple concept that is easy to understand. If you're not a lesbian then you can't say slurs against lesbians. I don't know how his friends are defending this because it's literally insane.

There is literally no way plague could justify these things. Borderline racism and homophobia is NOT dark humor, plague. the only way to get out of these is if you formally apologize and delete your social media presence. like please be honest with yourself, there is no way you could explain yourself for these other than you're legitimately dense and stupid.

3) Spreading lies about people.

- When a group of people first *tried* to come out with this information, plague immediately shut them down and started spreading fake allegations about them. He said that they doxxed people, they tried doxxing him, they sent gore to people, they make nsfw jokes towards minors (they're all 14), that they're n@z!s, and that they say slurs they can't reclaim. All of these are obvious lies, he got these accusations from one of his moderators who told him MULTIPLE times that it wasn't them, and that they were talking about other people. Despite this, he KEPT spreading this even after they apologised to him. When seirei came out with her post about this, he blamed it on that group of people while saying the same stuff about them and when someone corrected him, he didn't respond or elaborate.

- After seirei came out with her post and deleted the tiktok videos, plagues minions went out and made multiple tumblr posts "debunking" the allegations and essentially calling seirei ableist when that wasn't her fault, it was the anon's fault. They blamed her for "mishandling" the situation (which literally just means they didn't want her coming out abt this) and said that she was irresponsible and immature. They also just straight up said that seirei admitted that the situation was "petty" about this situation with no proof or evidence, so it's safe to say that they were lying about this as well.

- 2 specific people who had been part of this situation got ran off of social media due to the constant harassment from one of plagues moderators, Asher. One of these people was TWELVE. They harassed a TWELVE year old off of social media because they spread lies about them. That is genuinely disgusting behaviour. They lied about them making fun of asher getting groomed, which never happened, nor do they have proof of. Asher also made a video on tiktok where they basically dissed one of the people in the caption and people shit talked them in the comments. It's hard to tell whether or not he told asher to do this, but considering he made a server just to shit talk the people he doesn't like (specifically the people who are vocal about this) I wouldn't be surprised.

My final statement: there will probably be another post about this in a few days with MORE screenshots and evidence. if people want, I'll make a reblog with more screenshots. I'm aware that this is all discord drama but the things that plague and his company are doing and defending are NOT okay and shouldn't be left unchecked. These people have harassed and lied and gaslighted so many people that its genuinely terrifying. I will not be taking this post down nor will I hear any "explanation" about this. We have all the context we need and won't take this down.

Also, about plagues ridiculous conspiracy theory that everyone who's being vocal about this is the same group of people, I just wanna let people know that this is NOT true. A lot of people are working together to gather more evidence, and those people all have different experiences with plague and his server. Just because they're all cooperating doesn't mean it stems from the same people. The fact that there's 60+ people messaging seirei about this already proves that there's a lot of victims of his immature behaviour.

The only plague can make people let go of this is if he deletes his entire social media presence, including his server. If you're gonna defend this behaviour, just know that you're defending a legitimate freak. You will be blocked if you try to spread misinformation.

[magiturge]

i just wanna say. thsnk u so much for having such a fire music taste. i listened to all tghe sherhank songs and theyre all so fire. also can u go in depth about supersonics? (also do u have any playlists i can klisten to or more songs? these are all fire my goat)

supersonics ( linked for others to follow along ) serves to be sheriff's perspective in a sort of drunk way.

discussion under cut

for supplementary information, i hc sheriff to be self medicate with alcohol / is a functioning alcoholic due to his circumstances stressing him out with little outlet to his problems. this is also in reference to one of his voice lines being 'pass the whiskey'.

the whole song has a sort of jaunty dance feel, like a duo dancing around each other. it sorta punches you in the face, and its loose and cheerful. that's why it comes from sheriff's perspective in a drunken way, it's all a good numbing feeling, it's honest. it's a messy dance with a desperate elegance to keep going, it's an up and down with a hanging grip, feet kicking in the air.

it's a drunk cowboy's fun time

ill provide the particular punchy sound im referring to in the form of the original audio and version of that spinning gif i made : ) "You don’t really know what goes on That’s why all this looks like a perfect mess"

best in reference to the entire situation being a secret for the most part to everybody as much as sheriff can possibly keep it up. sheriff walks and weaves an image for himself that everything is just as it is, nothing as changed, things are functioning the same as they have been for the past however many years. it's a messy sector but it's the same as always, it's a perfect mess and you don't really know what's going on.

-

"Freaks come out until the lights go on And it feels so good when I lose my head"

the freaks ( both him and hank ) come out until the lights ( eyes of others ) come on. i dont really know how to describe this part right but hank is sort of an unraveller for sheriff. there is something.... ( does some gestures ) really intimate and vulgar about the way those two dance around each other, and that dance is thrilling even if terrifying for sheriff, it feels good, to lose his head ( lose a sense of ratoinale for awhile ).

-

"What a bad habit Hard to scrap Knockin' at my door It can’t be stopped no more What a bad habit Hard to scrap Knockin' at my door It can’t be stopped no more"

the chorus of supersonics can refer to both sheriff's issue with drinking or to his 'bad habit' of continuously meeting with hank, of getting more intimate and tender with them, growing more attached to them and further taking them into who he is, as much a part of his identity as he is.

it's hard to let go of this. for how i write sheriff, he's emotionally repressed as a result of having to keep his head straight on leading the MERC faction instead of living as normal as a nevada life can be. he was just a guy before this selling mattresses. part of that emotional repression comes from the pressure he feels from jeb.

jeb is scary to him. he's a friendly face, not a friend.

it is so hard for sheriff to let go of this despite knowing how many cons there are to getting so involved with hank, it's a bad habit. it's hard to scrap. it's knocking at his door ( traversing the body of his fortress ) and it can't be stopped anymore. :9

his problem with drinking is also hard to kick, he has little comfort to his situation and his artificially planted sense of leadership on the men in MERC makes it hard for him to open up proper to any of them. even though he's sociable, he's emotionally closed from responsibility.

-

"It’s so easy, won’t you come along? Just lose yourself with the side effects"

a lot of the songs that i gave in that one ask can come with 'fake' lines from hank in the sense of, it's sheriff's mind thinking of things hank is saying to him but hank never says it. it's like an image of hank in his mind murmuring things at him, like he's a concept more than he is a person.

hank is like temptation to him. it is so easy for hank to not care about others, to regard people like tools and keep moving forward because it's almost like that's how it was meant to live. lose yourself in the side effects, just indulge in what else there is that comes with this.

get messy in the dirt, be greedy, be selfish, you're a rock in their stream and they're eroding you. it's as much a part of you as you are to yourself. lose it. lose it. lose it. lose it.

-

in terms of the second part of your ask, i don't have any playlists even though i probably SHOULD be making playlists. i forget songs a lot.

also i don't know what songs to reccommend, my taste is like, out over there sometimes.

so i'll give you this, this, this, this, this, and this.

they are probably not part of the same genre of music, but i like all of them. and i dont remember what i put in those links now, so they are as much of a surprise to me as they will be to you. if you like any of them, idk let me know lol

[mintaikk]

Moments I think Blitzø realized his feelings for Stolas

I really don't think that Blitzø had an "Oh" moment. I think it was over a period of time, where he slowly realizes it, and then it comes unleashing out in either The Full Moon or Apology Tour.

Anyways, here

Seeing Stars (S2, ep2)

This was Blitzø's reaction when he saw Stolas's human form for the first time. God, I love his subtle expressions here sm. Read this post, they explain it well, and it's also the post that made me want to make this post.

In the first pic, Blitzø looks surprised and confused, probably from the shock of seeing Stolas's human form for the first time. Probably didn't even consider he ever had one, lol

The second image, we see a small blush appear, and as @ifwebefriends said, it's the "I'm fucked" face, as he is filled with complicated emotions as he realizes he likes Stolas in every form. He looks really worried by this.

The third image, hid pupils are fully dilated. Instead of confused, he looks genuinely worried and vulnerable. His expression doesn't show lust, but more like a mix of someone who is nervous to be around someone they like and genuine fear. He is realizing that it isn't just lust, but that he genuinely likes Stolas, and that's scary to him.

In the fourth image, he quickly turns around, slightly hunched over and rubbing his hands together; both behaviors indicating nervousness, probably at his own emotions. He also asks Stolas if he can somehow give them human disguises, which yes, is relevant to what's going on, but it can also be him being like, "maybe I'm just interested in the human disguise," so he can believe that instead of dealing with his own emotions.

(Also, have this gif of Blitzø checking Stolas out in his human disguise)

Then that scene in Seeing Stars that, when I joined the fandom, was the first thing I saw fans losing their shit over

Nothing much to comment on here. He's actually smiling at Stolas's advances. The other times Stolas flirted with him, it's always been overly aggressive ("jelly sandwiches all night~"), and this time, it's more subtle and intimate, which clearly worked for Blitzø.

Oops (S2, ep6)

In this moment, Fizz hit Blitzø with the allegations, and this was Blitzø's reaction to it. Look at his expressions! The first image looks confused and scared and heart broken, like he knew he fell, but he's either in denial, ignoring it, or doesn't think it's reciprocated; perhaps even all 3.

The second image, he looks sad, angry, and confused, like he doesn't know his emotions and can't name them, but he's hurt. He's frustrated at how complicated things are, and he hates it.

The 3rd image is now just full denial. When lying, people often look to the side or avoid eye contact, which is exactly Blitzø is doing right here. He knows that its more than sex every month, but he's lying to himself, because he can't get hurt if it is just casual.

Alright, imma have to do a part 2 to this cuz I ran out of space. I'll try to go in episode order next time lol, I just go excited with these 2 lol

Part 2

[paaelle]

Since I finally got some time and motivation for this, today is yapping session day!!

Talking about fop:anw concept art for no motive at all!

I'll be presenting mostly if not all works made by Mayuko Watson, Chris Battle and Eirik Paye.

First of all I want to take a look on concept art of our beloved protagonist Hazel Wells!

Art by Chris Battle (coloring by Jojo Aguilar)

I find it so interesting how Hazels concept art fluctuates between completely different from what we got and resemblance of the final desing. I read something about them focusing on making the characters desings fun, I think that translates very well on those.

Also theres was a chance of Hazel using glasses?! Just think about it!

Talking about concept art, I NEED PEOPLE TO TALK ABOUT THE CHARACTERS EXPRESSION SHEETS!!

Art by Mayuko Watson

Those are SO COOL!! It's always fun to take a look on characters reactions and general vibe. I must say I love those so much, every single pose and action they are doing.

I think Winn holding a bat and the 6 Dev are one of my favorites from those.

Also they are so silly, I love all of them so much 🥰

Going to characters turn around refs

Art by Mayuko Watson

Can't believe somehow Dale is taking the most space here, greedy mf 🙄

Anyways I just need y'all to look at them! Cosmo and Wanda are cutiepies, I would kill to also see their fairy models refs. For some reason it doesn't matter the angle Wanda swirl stays in the left (I wonder if its like that in the show, I didn't really pay attention to that). Marcus looks scary without his glasses, keep those on pls 😦

Also sorry Dale fans but this man has NO ASS at all.

Also 2 : I need yall to look at Dev's wet cat face.

I'll need to split this in two bc image limit, BUT THE YAPPING NEVER STOPS

I'll put the link here

Part 2

Linked the artists names to theirs Instagram profiles, even though I know they have Tumblr accounts, I think Instagram is easier to look though the art and they seem more active there.

Feel like I need to say that I posted this accidentally 3 time and got super frustrated, don't know how I didn't gave up on doing this post.

[uyuforu]

https://www.tumblr.com/uyuforu/742760539006156801/hiii-i-wanted-to-know-which-part-of-my-natal

hello not my ask but could you do an example with jk chart? its ok if not i dont want to bother

hope you have good day

Jungkook's Style Evolution

Jungkook's style has been something very interesting to watch over the years. A Fashion style and the way dress always have an importance, at it reflects our personality, our tastes, our self, our mood but also our evolution as a being. And as we all know, JK's Fashion indeed changed over the years too. I thought it would be very interesting to take a look, and someone in the ask box asked me to do so. I wanted then to do a full analysis based on Natal Chart and Solar Returns. You can also check it and apply it to yourself! Please note that I couldn't put more than 30 images in this post, which was inconvenient in a way since I couldn't show more. I tried to take pictures that were a good representation of what JK wore every time. I also chose airport outfits since it is the most popular way to see about JK's fashion style and own fashion choices, other outfits were often chosen by stylists.

Techniques used: Natal Chart + Solar Returns

Placements used: Sun, Rising, Rising's ruler, 1H, MC, Venus, Venus's Ruler, Mars, Stellium for Natal Chart. Rising, Venus, Venus' Ruler, MC sometimes, Mars sometimes for Solar Returns.

Book a private reading: menus ; Q&A ; rules

⋅˚₊ Jungkook's Natal Chart Indicators ₊˚ ⋅

₊˚⊹ Jungkook's Sun is Virgo, and it makes him prefer casual clothing. He also prefers sporty style, clothing you can wear outside and inside, and clothing that are comfortable to move in. Simple, nothing too extravagant. The clothing he often wear are so more comfortable and casual than actually looking luxurious. He often wear jeans too. Colors are also basic ones.

₊˚⊹ Jungkook's Rising sign is Capricorn. JK will look masculine, dominant and a little scary or just distant usually. It makes him so chose clothing that will make him appear older, or he will want to dress a certain way that makes him appear as an actual adult. It makes sense since JK always has been often babied his whole life, he chose a style that is dark, and chose to appear a way to makes sense with his Rising. He wants to tell people through his fashion sense and appearance that he is a grown up, a man, and mostly an adult. He doesn't want people to keep treating him like a baby or a child. He wants people to respect him when they see him. The ruler of the Rising sign is Saturn which is in Aries 3H. Aries here makes sense with his style, his tattoos and mostly that JK wants to have a lot of muscles and wants to look attractive physically, he often takes care of his body shape. The 3H is a Gemini house, rulling the arms and hands, and this is where JK has tattoos. Despite his actual look and desire to appear older, JK will still have that youthful look of his, but his fashion style will so be chosen for him to be treated like a man and not a boy.

₊˚⊹ JK's Venus sign is in Libra, and being its own ruler, JK has indeed a good fashion sense. He cares a lot about how he looks and how the clothings he chooses to wear suit him. He is part of the people who can't go out in clothing they don't like. It doesn't have to be the runway kind of fashion whenever he goes out, but he needs to wear what he likes. Even if his outfits seem most of the time casual and comfortable, it is in fact his style and his fashion sense, and he actually likes this style. It looks like he doesn't care while in fact he does. JK also has a lot of different accessories he wears daily. His Venus is in 9H, he has an appearance that doesn't fit the Korean standards, despite that many other Koreans have tattoos and piercings, it is not considered something well seen in the country. More because JK is an idol. He made a revolutionary move by having so much tattoos, showing them freely. Even with his style.

₊˚⊹ JK's Mars sign is in Scorpio, making a lot of sense with the way he dresses. He looks very good in black and dark clothing. He likes the pull off the "Bad Boy" style and it is actually a good idea since it goes well with his Mars sign. He is very attractive and sexier in this outfits, not because of the style itself, but because it goes well with the placement. Dressing according to its Venus style is important but Mars is also very important since it will make you look good and attractive in the eyes of others. JK before used to dress in a much more casual and comfy style like his Sun sign. It suited him well but ever since he started to dress along his Mars sign, you can see his self confidence is higher. Piercings, showing much more his body shape, dark & black clothing, excellent choices. He owns the mysterious and hot guy style. His Tattoos, despite being his personal choices, actually also goes well with his style.

₊˚⊹ JK's MC is Libra, which represents his reputation. JK has the reputation to have a good fashion sense, he explored different styles, yet he knows how to dress well. He is considered as one of the best members of BTS to dress for airport style for example. He also has a good way to dress usually, and always seems to appear very good looking wherever he goes. Whatever he pulls off will suit him.

₊˚⊹ JK has a 1H & 8H stellium, which makes sense since he always stated that his body and appearance mattered much to him. He is often seen working out, and taking care of his appearance. He wants to look good, he also likes to be praised for how he looks, fashion wise but also just also about his body shape. The 8H stellium is clearly a big indicators about how people see him. JK's Neptune 1H first indicate people see him in a way that is not 100% true, they desire him for how he looks, but not actually him as a person. Having a 8H stellium makes JK appear very desirable for most people. He looks hot, sexy, mysterious, just someone people are obsessed with.

⋅˚₊ Jungkook's Natal Chart Indicators ₊˚ ⋅

જ⁀➴ SRC 2015-2016

₊˚⊹ This year, JK was Gemini Rising. This made him dressed in many different colors, and style. He wasn't afraid to mix colors, and mostly was dressing in a more colorful and joyful way. It was also a year of self discovery fashion wise, as JK sometimes wore black, and sometimes colorful outfits. With the 20° (Scorpio), we can see how JK was very shy about his appearance, his body language in most pictures that year made it obvious he was shy. He may also dressed in a way that made him look normal, basic, not extra to make him stand out. Despite also being young that year (He was 2017 years old), his Gemini rising also makes him dresses in a "childlike" fashion style, meaning he dresses as people his age, or with clothing that made him appear younger.

₊˚⊹ Fashion this year was indeed very colorful for men, it was also a year with simple clothing: a jacket, a skinny jean, a simple t-shirt. And backpacks seemed to be also pretty popular, something JK was often wearing that year. Cargo pants were also an iconic fashion trend that year, and JK didn't miss it. This style was similar to the Skater Boy, often wearing beanies too, pretty popular for men and boys around that year.

₊˚⊹ This year's Venus was Leo 3H, again a Gemini placement. With Leo Venus, Fashion could have been really important for him this year, he may have cared a lot. Being in the 3H, it must have been a way to express himself, maybe expressed his mood of the day.

₊˚⊹ Venus' Ruler is the Sun, being in 4H. He may have wanted to dress very much like Korean's Fashion this year, following trends and not wanting to stand out in his own style much. The Scorpio degree on the Sun also make sense, JK didn't seem to be very confident in his appearance, he so didn't want people to notice him much in his fashion style. What he wore was very simple.

જ⁀➴ SRC 2016-2017

₊˚⊹ For this year, JK was Virgo Rising, his fashion style was clear, neat, he was always very well dressed, every accessories making a perfect sense. He started dressing with neutral colors such as Black, dark colors, white, beige, and also often wore Jeans. Very casual fashion style. The 5° on his rising sign makes him have a good fashion style, it's not only casual, you can see that JK has a big interest in Fashion this year. The way he dresses felt like it actually mattered to him. It also makes him in touch with trends and the fashion world, as the way JK dresses was very similar to the trends of that time, despite JK wearing a more "casual" look.

₊˚⊹ JK's 1H Stellium also explains how he got a glow up this year, his appearance really mattered this year to him. Moreover, the Sun is in there, making it really obvious how important it was. His Fashion style was part of his identity.

₊˚⊹ Venus was in Libra 2H this year, with also the ruler being in its home. It was very obvious JK was really into fashion this year, dressing very well. That year, JK wore a lot of skinny jeans, showing his tights and hips very much. He wore casual yet luxurious outfits, which is very logical to me since the venus is in a Taurus House but also with a Taurus degree.

જ⁀➴ SRC 2017-2018

₊˚⊹ The way I just laugh out loud when I saw his SRC this year. It is just so obvious. This is the year JK started to dress in black mostly, Black and White were his only go to Fashion Style. Even jeans were black. This can be easily explained with his Scorpio Rising this year. JK also often wore a leather Jacker, which is such a Scorpio thing to me. It gives me bad boy style tbh. I don't wanna sound cliché tho. With the Cancer degree on the rising, JK indeed followed fashion Trends from Korea this year, Black was seen often and was a popular color (if I can say color).

₊˚⊹ Venus is once again in Leo this year, in 9H. Fashion style could have been also inspired from foreign lands, where indeed leather jackets was a trend. Having more dark colors on their outfits was something that we could often see. Fashion was also very important this year. JK was indeed popular for his bad boy look he wore. The Libra degree on the Venus made him always have a proper look, always looking very well out and harmonious. Being in 9H makes sense since his Fashion look were often popular when he was at the airport.

₊˚⊹ The Ruler is the Sun in 10H, and the MC being in Leo makes a lot of sense to me. Around those years, JK's fashion sense became very popular and his fashion style was part of his good reputation. He was popular for his fashion sense, the way he wore, but also how his fashion made him appear. People were going crazy and often called JK "hot", "sexy", etc. Coming back to the Scorpio Rising, this can also be explained as to why. That made him indeed appear as sexy, hot, and mysterious. People were obsessed with his look. The MC being in an Aquarius degree makes a lot of sense, JK was very popular for his fashion and his appearance online from this year.

જ⁀➴ SRC 2018-2019

₊˚⊹ This year, JK was Aquarius rising. It was very interesting since to me having Aquarius rising makes us look very unique, avant-garde and maybe even following our own fashion style without caring much about trends. JK this year continued to wore black often. Most of his outfits were that colors. He was often wearing clothings the he liked, not caring much about fashion itself compared the the previous years. He was more into comfortable clothing this year than fashion itself.

₊˚⊹ Fashion this year was actually pretty colorful on the runways. Despite the clothing were also comfortable for men, fashion was still around skinny jeans, simple t-shirts, etc. So JK actually dressed different from most of the fashion trends this year. He was still into fashion, but maybe detached himself from the fashion trends and started to go on a self-journey. He was finally finding his own style.

₊˚⊹ Venus this year was in Libra 8H. The darker color, even just black makes sense since it is in the 8H. JK was seen more often hiding his face, letting his bangs being long, often wearing hats and caps that were almost hiding his face. Fashion was still part of him, and he dressed well according to his body type and his tastes. Moreover, MC this year was in Scorpio, which makes a lot go sense.

જ⁀➴ SRC 2019-2020

₊˚⊹ This year was a brand new beginning for JK as he started to get Tattoos, the first ones on his hands. Funny thing since this year, JK was Gemini rising. And Gemini rules also over the hands but also the arms, and JK also had some more tattoos later in 2020, on the arms.

₊˚⊹ This year, JK was so Gemini Rising with a 9°. Despite Black was still being his go to color, he was wearing clothings with different style. He was also known for his iconic hairstyle this year (the curly hair), that people created the Dora meme with. He was wearing a sporty casual style, with big clothing that made him look tiny. He could wear very casual and good outfits and the next time wear a very casual and sporty outfit. It seemed like he cared and other times he was just wanting to wear more comfortable clothing.

₊˚⊹ Venus this year is in Virgo 4H, his style was very casual, and very everyday style. It was a style which was comfortable and you could wear everyday. The Ruler is in the same sign and house, which adds to the fact JK really wanted it to be comfy and without any extra. He was also wearing a lot of oversized clothing this year again, which add more comfort.

જ⁀➴ SRC 2020-2021

₊˚⊹ For 2020, JK was Leo Rising with Aries degree. JK wasn't wearing much on his heads this year, often wanting to show up with different hairstyles. His Fashion was more "fashionable" than comfortable this year. He often expressed his own style and give more importance to his clothing style. Patterns appeared much more than last year. While JK was always wearing simple clothing before, he showed more patterns from this SRC.

₊˚⊹ The Venus was in Cancer 11H, JK was still wearing comfortable clothings. He was still on finding his own style as the way he was dressing wasn't that seen on the runway. He was using trends in the way he wanted to wear them. For example, the plaid pattern was seen often on runways this year, and JK also wear those, but in a more casual manner, in a more comfortable manner.

₊˚⊹ Since his Venus's ruler is the Moon, it is in Aquarius 6H, comfortable clothing, and preferring to wear his own style. I think it's over these years JK really imposed his own style. He knew he was into comfortable and casual clothing, but I feel like it's around the beginning of 2020's that his fashion style really became his.

જ⁀➴ SRC 2021-2022

₊˚⊹ This year is really iconic to me, it is the years JK's QG's photoshoot went out and it was viral. An icon. His Rising this year was Scorpio 8°, full Scorpio. If you want to know more about the photoshoot, I advise you to take a look because it's the best representation of this rising. This year JK looked mysterious, often once again wearing black and not much patterns. He sometimes wore some but not much. He was mostly in plain black and mostly showing much more his abs and body shapes with his clothing. He was full on the piercings and tattoos. It was truly the bad boy style this year, it also reminds me of the Hongdae Men lol.

₊˚⊹ His Venus was Libra 12H, and I remember that JK's shoes collection was wild this year, people were often posting and discussing about his shoes. Since Pisces/ 12H rules over the feet, it makes a lot of sense. Coming back, indeed JK's sense of fashion was wild, and he was often seen posing for photoshoots. His Leo MC makes a lot of sense.

₊˚⊹ His rising's rulers were Mars (11H) and Pluto (3H), JK's fashion was very popular online this year too, he was still in his own style and not caring much about most of trends, he was wearing what he wanted, and I almost want to say he was the creator of trends. He was versatile, going to comfy to luxurious style. He could pull everything off!

જ⁀➴ SRC 2022-2023

Didn't include 2023-2024 since JK is currently in Military.

₊˚⊹ This year JK was Capricorn Rising. His style was def more dominant. The way he appeared was always was very masculine too, showing much more his skin, abs, and body. Even in photoshoots, he wasn't just trying to show his fashion sense, it was also about the vibe he wanted to give to people. During this SRC, Seven went out and I suggest you to look at the photoshoot of the album... :) Saturn being the Rising's ruler, is in the 1H, making it obvious JK wanted to show a strong appearance, proving to people he is not a child anymore.

₊˚⊹ The Venus was in Leo 7H, JK was wearing a good fashion style still. It was still his iconic look but he looked very attractive because of his good style. JK's fashion this year was less sporty and comfy, it was more about the actual fashion. He was wearing jeans and casual attire yet it was similar to the SRC 2016-2017. His clothing and fashion were really well put together and accessories were often seen on him. Not only his piercings, but necklaces and beanies too.

₊˚⊹ Venus ruler is the Sun which is in 8H,JK had a mysterious, sexy and hot aura once again this year. He was showing more his body and even while working he chose a style that looked like that. He also started to do a photoshoot for Calvin Klein this year, which was iconic to me. It was the first time people were actually seeing JK's abs. The photoshoot shows JK's persona, as a dark bad boy (he loves that style). It actually suits the MC, his reputation was someone hot, sexy and mostly a man that was really desired.

Thank you for reading!

back to index ; ask ; request ; rules

[msrosey]

No Such Thing as a Friendly Ghost

Rant on the differences between Movie-verse! Shadow and SA2! Shadow real quick because I am suffering! Suffering!

So Movie-verse! Shadow is so absolutely grief-stricken it was killing me to watch.

Like. SA2! Shadow was grieving, but he was driven towards revenge from pretty much the beginning (adjusted memories non-withstanding). He was the one who went to Eggman when he was freed, he was the one who set up the events of the game. He had agency.

Movie-verse!Shadow...doesn't. He gets woken up and immediately just wants to get away. No blowing up the base, no searching for answers from the guys still in the glass watching room, just defending himself against the armed guys trying to keep him in and then immediately bouncing. And when they chase them, he fights some more - he doesn't go looking for it. He even says it to Sonic - "Why can't you people leave me alone?"

And he goes straight back to the old G.U.N. facility. Like, it's so clear he had no clue what to do! He just sits in the wreckage of the only home he ever knew, with no clear next steps, just. There. Gerald is the one to tell him what to do. Gerald is the one who pushes him towards to revenge, who tells him its the only way. And Shadow just...follows?

In the game it was clear that Gerald had to mess with Shadow's memories to make him think that this is what he wanted, what Maria would have wanted. In the movie it's clear that Shadow is just looking for someone to tell him what to do. He even joins Agent Stone for guac, just cause Gerald said to stay with him! That's unthinkable for Game! Shadow or IDW! Shadow, both of which are big ignore-plan-jump-into-the-fight characters. Movie-verse! Shadow is strangely, like, innocent?

Like, Shadow is grieving, so badly, but its devastating because he also doesn't seem to realize. Like there's this underlying confusion when he's not actively fighting, and it's clear he has no frame of reference for anything he's feeling? It's like if Sonic had lost Longclaw and then never been exposed to the Wachowskis or Green Hills, just festered in his own guilt until coming across Knuckles or the echidna tribe.

AH and this is already so long but guys, can we talk about how the moment when Shadow starts to realize Maria would not want revenge and he no longer had someone telling him what to do, he like. Immediately tried to die. Several times.

He taunts Sonic to finish him off, despite him having the upper hand multiple times in the battle! He returned to the Eclipse Cannon alone to keep it from blowing up!

Like, yes the latter was the heroic things to do, but there's something so self-sacrificing about both, especially when he could have gotten Sonic's help with the ship? The rest of Team Sonic's help. This Shadow has (somehow) innate Chaos teleportation abilities, you're telling me he couldn't just teleport Sonic back to the ship and get things fixed with Knuckles and Tails' all together? But he doesn't even try, and it. feels like it's all tied back into this intense guilt and barely hidden desire to just not be there anymore.

Also I just can't get the image of him in the blown up base out of my head. He's just...standing there. Walking the halls. Haunting it.

And I know Knuckle's mention of Casper being scary is largely comic relief, but he has a point. Someone who doesn't care about their own life anymore, who stays replaying awful memories trapped in their own head, and who sees no future where they're in is terrifying.

They can't be friendly, or kind. Not even to themselves.

[danosrosegarden]

edward angst, where he comforts reader over the phone from Arkham :( there both so broken up about not being able to see each other and reader breaks down moments into the call

sick of losing soulmates - edward nashton x gn!reader headcanons ౨ৎ ˙⋆.˚♡

{contents ♡ mentions of violence, mentions of vomiting, angst + fluff}

{word count ♡ ~700}

♡ it just didn't match, the image of him that was burned into your brain and the campfire scary story monster he was when you weren't looking. they were entirely different beings. your edward was the one who wrote handwritten letters and sent wrappings of sweet perfumed flowers to you just because. your edward was the one who'd hug you from behind while you cooked dinner and basked in the warmth of your being. your edward was the one who'd nuzzle into the crook of your neck at night, tracing the curves and dips of your gently rising and falling body. that edward was the one who was ice cold and eerily calculated, slithering into the unlucky mice's lives like a beady-eyed snake. that edward was the one who coiled around them and reveled in the sheen of terror glossed across their eyes. that edward was the one that squeezed, the one that suffocated, the one that took and took and took until there was nothing left to take.

♡ most days you got sick, dry heaving up what little was left in your gut until your eyes poured salty tears and your chin was slick with spittle. most days you felt crushed into dust, broken into shards. you'd gone through the whipping windstorm waves: cold bitterness, broiling anger, dizzying confusion. but most of all, you felt the aching weight grabbing hold of your heart and dragging down: you were sad. you were hurt. you were heartbroken. he had hid his plans from you, he had lied about where he was most evenings, he had trusted a group of deranged strangers before he had trusted you. that all hurt in its own way. but above all else, it would never be possible to again find what you once had with him. that was what hurt the most.

♡ you had questioned whether or not you even wanted to hear his voice again. your kneejerk reaction was of course, of course, give me the phone, please please please please let me have just a few more minutes of his distant presence. but the more it blackened the crevices in your brain like a messy ink spill, the more you felt the deep pit in your stomach lurch. what are you even supposed to say to him? what is he supposed to say to you?

♡ you rehearse the lines in your head over and over. you breathe deep and steady, trying to stable the quivering in your hands as you hold the phone.

♡ "hello?"

♡ you hold the phone to your ear silently for a moment, listening to the smothering quiet in your apartment and the shallow in and out of your breath. "edward?"

♡ for that split second, you're connected by this odd, tightly woven string of silence. you're jammed between what is there to say? and how am i supposed to say everything in this miniscule time frame?

♡ "it's good to hear you." the words are wading through molasses, spoken slowly and thickly, like his voice had been flossed through a filter.

♡ and it all comes rushing back, a crashing tidal wave of every lazy morning spent tangled in his arms, every cool evening spent bathing in the comfortable quiet of your bedroom together.

♡ every line you'd memorized before the call gets crumpled and trashed. you feel the hot contacts of tears rise against your eyes and drop down your cheeks. "hi, eddie. i miss you."

♡ he can't promise forever anymore. he can't promise much of anything anymore...perhaps that's what's most difficult to grapple with, the uncertainty of it all. the dice roll that each new day would bring, the gamble you bet on with every rising and setting sun. but here in this moment, you feel as though he's reaching out. you can sense his radiating warmth from the other end of the line. it numbed the bleeding thought in the back of your brain that you had lost him for good. here he was, here you were, hands outstretched, arms wide open.