#its so much fun to watch even though you know who is the killer bc theres just so many layers!!

[weeswine]

I love that the movie itself is literally from the start, a metaphor of a Glass Onion. The audience expects something complex, just like Blanc, so its easy to brush over all of the obvious suspicious scenes of Miles. Even though from the beggining you could point out all of it, the centre of the onion, and the rest of the movie just adds extra layers to make it seem complex and layered.

[ryansjane]

gmmtv 2024 part 2 trailers first impression & ranking :)

from most excited for to least excited:

us: I SCREAMED!!! of course gl ranks number one, let's bffr, but legit this looks so indie & good I love it! sing is gonna be so good at being the abandoned lover hahaha, and the girls have so much chemistry & are so cute!!! I ship it already <3

breakup service: I did NOT expect to get an off as MAIN in a straight romcom again after 4 fucking years, I'm beyond elated!!! the fact that he's paired with a very popular singer also makes me happy! the plot looks really fun & reminds me of catch me baby and midnight motel so I'm all in!!! my man deserves this sm <3

hide & sis: gawin in a role like this??? ATE DOWN!!! but honestly the whole cast is perfect, I can't believe we're gonna get pepper & lookjun playing an on-screen couple! I hope this one is more like ps: I hate you & nothing like the jungle but I'm super excited I love everyone here :)

the ex morning: bruh if you'd have told a kristsingto show would be 4th on this list I would've laughed in your face but... tell me why this plot seems so fucking cute?? I feel like we haven't gotten this type of second chance bl before, and idk if it's nostalgia or what but I'm actually really into it lol

thame po: yooooo this morning I could not picture estwilliam together, but actually I like them a lot already! as a lykn fan I'm happy to see them in a series, and the plot is quite original which is becoming more & more rare so I'm excited!

sweet tooth, good dentist: I still don't know how to fully feel about mark & ohm t, I feel like they look way too similar, but oh well. this looks very sweet (like its title) & y'all know I love dumb romcoms like these so I'll be watching!

leap day: this looks insane & the cast feels random af but it seems interesting! I hope it doesn't end up being one of those shows who thought throwing gun & his insane talent in a show would be enough to cover its bad writing *cough* home school *cough* midnight museum *cough* excited to see pond in an interesting role for once though lmao

the dark dice: this looks like the thai high school squid game to me, it seems interesting & I love that aungpao is in here, but I'll have to see how I feel once the show starts airing to see if I'll watch it or not.

scarlet heart thailand: this teaser told me nothing so I googled the original, ngl it's a slay for tu she looks so pretty, and I do love historical shows so I'll probably be watching! also very happy to see tay, force & phuwin here :)

friendshit forever: I legit thought I was gonna get a mookpat gl bruh lmaoooooo, but nope instead I get girls fighting over a dude ;_; like I get it new is hot af but bruh in 2024 we still have girls having cat fights... I'm good :/ the title is hilarious though :')

ossan's love thailand: this trailer actually made me happy bc contrarily to my initial thought I think earth is ADORABLE as haruta! and the actor they chose to play the ossan??? DAMNNN DADDY 😏 probably still won't be watching since I hate remakes but this looks better than I anticipated!

the heart killers: call me a hater but I did not feel this at all, I feel like it's a more boring mix of not me, only friends & midnight motel and I don't particularly care for either ships so I will not be watching... I'm sure this show will be fine without me though lol

perfect 10 liners: we are but even more boring, they even pulled up aouboom & marcpoon LMAOOO. again all love but I don't care for this at all, it's so basic I can't do this to myself anymore, I'm sorry it's called self-care at this point :')

revamp the undead story: again I don't care for bounprem & THE gmmtv vampire show is my golden blood for me babe, like sorry but jossgawin forever 🫶 (more seriously this doesn't look bad but I simply do not give any fuck to watch this show)

[lastweeksshirttonight]

All righty, I managed to get back home despite the hurricane, let's talk about the show.

Tl;dr - I traveled cross-country to see John Oliver and Seth Meyers. It was amazing and I am still giddy about it!! Gonna put all the details under a cut to not clog up your timeline/the tags.

(All jokes will be paraphrased/guestimated bc my adrenaline and ADHD played havoc with my memory recall, lol.)

Firstly, the Beacon Theatre is absolutely stunning. It reminds me a bit of the Theatre at Ace Hotel in LA, in that it's clearly had its old elements lovingly preserved and harkens back to an older time. It was truly a gorgeous venue.

I missed getting a pic of the other side of the stage, which had a massive sculpture of shields and spears. John made a joke about the opulence of the room not matching the entertainment for the evening, and noted that "even Coco Chanel would say to keep it to one shield". Really wish I'd thought to get a picture of it, he was not wrong.

I was extremely close to the stage - 3 rows back and dead center. I definitely had the anxious excited adrenaline jitters because of it.

I mean COME ON.

The opener was Brooks Wheelan, who I remembered from his brief stint at SNL. He talked a fair deal about that, and told a great story bit about getting fired from there and opening for John shortly after, wherein he drank an entire bottle of "HBO blood diamond whiskey" from John's dressing room and had, in Seth's later words, "a nervous breakdown". I'd heard Brooks has opened for John before and was glad I got to see him, he's a lot of fun.

He also told a joke about not wanting to learn karate because of the huge glass windows in front of every karate studio and not wanting anyone to watch him learn karate. Lots of very understanding laughter there, including from me. (Why do all these places have massive plate glass windows?!)

After Brooks was John Oliver, and y'all. Let me get this out of the way.

He is fine as hell. Look. Just LOOK. HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO DEAL WITH THIS

I would also like to take the time to gush effusively about John's mastery of set structure. The set was, aside from the typical "before we get started, I need to let you know I'm British" pseudo-opener he's used since like 2005, entirely new material -

(As an aside... !!!!!! I KNOW!!!! A FULL FUCKING HOUR OF ENTIRELY NEW MATERIAL!! THAT I WAS NEAR THE FRONT FOR!!!! I'M SO VERKLEMPT STILL YOU HAVE NO IDEA)

- and it was just beautifully written from a structural standpoint. It was pretty much all political material all centered around history and the need to understand it for context on the world as it currently stands. There were some digressions from that point but they were seamlessly woven in. He is such a goodamn incredible stand-up comedian.

A few things he talked about in his set:

That time the US dropped nukes on itself twice (which was briefly mentioned on LWT but not in this detail and not including a reenactment of a man dropping a bomb while working on a plane and him reacting to watching it roll away).

That the current British royal line of succession exists because of a "cousin-fucker who cut someone into pieces like a Benihana chef". (John told us this is something he learned researching this bit, which caused me unending joy. I love that he's making new sets!! :D)

John delights in the misery of billionaires and wished that the rocket Jeff Bezos was on would blow up. He doesn't want him to die, though. Through this he also talked about Elon Musk and his favorite fake blue check company tweets, mainly a series made by a fake Chiquita account claiming to have overthrown Brazil, followed by Chiquita saying they hadn't actually overthrown any governments since 1954.

John got booed at a Sesame Street benefit and told a killer set of jokes about Bert judging him for it. ("The man lives with Ernie! He knows chaos!")

He claims we will all know things are okay with the US again when we are all irrationally mad at Anne Hathaway for no reason again. Told an incredible story about how he just blundered into the street in LA once, almost got hit by a car, looked up, realized it was Anne Hathaway in the car, saw her wave at him, and, despite the scenario being objectively his fault, being somehow mad at her.

Shaded Dave Chappelle in an analogy about how we are not at Civil War division times because "somehow our level of division is people debating whether Chapelle's SNL monologue was okay or not", in a way that suggested it was very much not okay. 10/10 no notes.

Okay so there was one recycled bit - him being informed the Queen wanted to give him an OBE. He added to it fantastically though, by personifying the man from the embassy as the most offensively British stereotype you could possibly imagine. He said the man sounded like "if a British person rubbed a teapot and a genie came out".

There was definitely more but I could gush forever so let's move on.

Brooks came back out to introduce Seth and forgot the name of his show, lol. For a brief moment we all contemplated what Last Week Tonight with Seth Meyers would look like. (I assume the show's Adam Driver would be Stefon.)

Anyways, here is the only good photo I took of Seth.

Seth was great as well - not as good as John, but I'm very biased in that regard. The material was also pretty diametrically opposed to John's, much more domestic comedy about his wife and kids and their idiosyncracies.

I really liked Seth's energy and approach. I don't quite know how to explain this, but he had a touch of Dennis Reynolds energy to him, a restrained manicness, that was really interesting to watch. That's not my normal association with Seth's energy, either, but it was very fun. Definitely puts some of the more deranged things from his tenure as Weekend Update host in context.

Some highlights from Seth's set:

He had an amazing brick joke about doing accents as a comedian, where he imitated a Swedish accent and talked about how everyone's Swedish accent is basically the Swedish Chef from the Muppets and how the only Swedish food anyone has nearby is the meatballs at IKEA. Funny on its own, but later in the show, Seth talked about how people assume he's fully Jewish, including people on the street. He noted that he's 25% Swedish but no one comes up to him on the street and goes -insert Swedish Chef impression-. (This straight up killed the guy sitting next to me, who ended up laughing with his head in his hands for a solid 30 seconds.)

His kids eat very healthily, so when they end up going to friends' houses and eat one Skittle, they turn into demons. Literal demons. Seth's impression of an actual demon trying to undo a double-buckled car seat was the hardest I laughed at his whole set.

Seth also had a section which he claimed would be the part where he'd tell anti-trans jokes "if he was a complete asshole". I enjoyed the trans affirmation the whole evening, ngl.

Seth's family and his wife's family have very different ways of conversing at the dinner table, which directly mirrors my and my partner's family - Seth's family (like Mr. Lee's) is big on listening to everyone and contributing to conversations only when someone else has talked; Alexi's family (like mine) is constantly screaming over each other.

After Seth's set, everyone (including Brooks) came out to do a Q&A. I could not think of a song in the moment, but realized at the hotel room an hour after that I should have made @chiijohn 's evening by asking John's opinion on Planet of the Bass. :facepalm: Sorry mate!

Still, some great questions were asked, and it was about 30 minutes of just audience interaction. I've never experienced anything like it at a stand-up gig and genuinely loved it. John, of course, told people they were free to leave before the Q&A because why would they want to stay; the man is incapable of thinking anything good about himself and much as I hate his bad self-esteem, I would have been concerned if he hadn't said something to that effect.

Brooks was asked almost immediately if he remembered the name of Seth's show, which was honestly hilarious. Brooks said "I conferred with John backstage and we're both pretty sure that it's Late Night with Seth Meyers".

Someone asked how fearful Seth and John were of their shows being cancelled after one year, and Brooks snarked that he knew that feeling. (Brooks seems to have a good sense of humour about not being a huge presence on SNL.) Seth said that he wasn't super worried but that they redid his entire set (background set, not stand-up set) because Alec Baldwin said it looked like "a sushi restaurant in Burbank". (theoniontheworstpersonyouknow.jpg) John said he was told most HBO shows don't get cancelled at one season and he said "we'll see about that".

There was definitely some extended riffing on Alec Baldwin being a piece of shit afterwards, while John giggled helplessly. I love John's giggling.

Seth and John's favorite Muppet is Cookie Monster. They talked about how interesting it is that you can have amazing chemistry with Muppets, and then meet the puppeteer and have literally nothing to talk about. Seth also talked about how low-tech Big Bird was, and how the late Carroll Spinney, when on SNL, held a script in one hand, the controls of Big Bird in the other, and a flashlight in his mouth to read the script.

Everyone is upset they didn't get to cover the indictments because of the Writer's Strike. John thought there were only 3, but I honestly don't know if one of them came down before the Writer's Strike and he was just referring to the ones since then. It's been a long few months for us all.

Brooks basically forces John and Seth to get out of their hotel rooms when touring. Otherwise, Seth said, "they both just sit there anxious". That tracks, especially for John, who literally said on Seth's podcast that he is physically incapable of relaxing.

When asked about their influences, John said (rather obviously) that he wouldn't have a career without Jon Stewart, and Brooks talked about how both Seth and John really uplifted him and cared for him after he got fired from SNL. Seth talked in a really lovely way about how Amy Poehler basically adopted him and got him out of his shell and was a real friend to him early on.

I really wish I'd written down every stand-up that the three of them recommended when prompted, because I've completely blanked on half of them. Seth said Joe Pera (who I also highly recommend); John recommended Maria Bamford (again, also highly recommend). He also said that most people in the room would have probably not heard of him but that the best in the UK was Daniel Kitson (paging @tellthemeerkatsitsfine to provide her recs bc she knows Kitson backwards and fronts). Brooks gave a shout to Kyle Kinane (who I am not as familiar with as I should be).

There was so much more, but honestly, I was just so in the moment that I feel like I remember things in waves. It was an amazing evening and I was honestly so blessed to be there at all.

I did not wait at the stage door or anything, because I am truly not that kind of person and have consistently been sure that if I ever met John, I'd barf on his shoes. I know on Instagram some people had gotten stage door photos, though, and I'm happy for them!

Thank you all for always being supportive of this dumb blog. I don't think I would have had the confidence to go on this cross-country journey without you all randomly egging me on all the time. It was one of the best nights of my life. 💖💖

[winterrhayle]

rank all of the 6 lunar chronicles books! i've asked a few of my friends irl this and ive seen very differing opinions so im curious (and ive seen how much you like ranking so..😂)

LOLLLL yeah ranking is my favourite thing ever ever ever ever ever ever its so fun okay (this is kinda long sorry hahaha) :

winter - this probably isnt a shocker, bc well ^^^ my url😭 literally what does this book NOT have. its 800+ pages, it contains so many perspectives, every single ship, every character dynamic is fully formed, the plot is insane and weaves together so well, the drama, the luna visuals, JACINTER, MISS WINTER HAYLE BLACKBURN.... like......... name a better book.... exactly. winter > everything. this is my go to book to reread and i think that its actually etched into the grooves of my brain. i have 2 copies of this book and they are my prized possessions

fairest - okay this ranking might be controversial, and i hate levana as much as everyone else does(just a disclaimer lol). but I LOVEEEE a character study, specially when said character is a villain. i read fairest after i'd completed all of the main 4 books and it just added so many more layers to the lunar characters (winter, levana, jacin etc), and also introduces us to evret, who is talked about in the main series but as we know he dies before the events of tlc :( but i loved his character and i found this book so interesting, also as a winter girl it was cool to see her parents, and her as a baby / toddler,, and also the og trio winter, jacin and selene / cinder own my WHOLE soul bc they are soooo <33333333333333 this book actually breaks my heart soo bad every time but i still crave rereading it bc its so good

cinder - ahhh when everything was somewhat simple, i like rereading this one to just go back to square one and like. reminisce on how everything begun and look at all of the seeds marissa planted (like that brief mention of winter and the descriptions of jacin aka the blond guard or whatever it was they described him as) . and i just love the kaider of it all of course and idk this one is just so nostalgic to me

scarlet - something about this book just keeps me on edge every time i read it. i literally cannot put it down once i start it and even though i know all of the plot twists and everything now im just constantly hooked. i love the visuals of this book, with the farm in rieux, and futuristic paris, and the fight in the abandoned opera house, soo cool. also i love how well this book in particular ties into little red riding hood because every single time i read the part about michelle actually being ran under glamour, aka the wolf disguised as the grandma like in the og fairytale, i am GAGGED its such a cool way to tie it into the lore of this series. annndddd i feel like i do talk about scarlet on here a lot because of winlet but i do NOT talk about wolf enough so let me just say something: wolf is such an interesting and complex character andi loveeee him and i love how much his personality varies from babygirl to actual killer hahhah

cress - i love this book to death BUTT i feel like some of the desert chapters kinda did drag on a little, especially as ive read this book so many times they're the scenes i tend to skim through (and this was true even BEFORE i became a cresswell hater tbh), but other than that this book is 10/10, i love the farafrah chapters especially, and i loved watching jacin be annoying and also i loved watching the rampion crew start to fill out and become bigger, ALSO this book has that iconic miscommunication scene where thorne and cress reunite with the others but thorne is blind so he didnt know that 'the wolf' cress was talking about was just our wolf (ze'ev) and the chaos of all that and cinder and dr erland and them almost getting arrested and escaping on the rampion / iko was pure chaos ALSOOOO this book had the technical introduction of winter bc you hear her adopting scarlet to save her which is fun so yeah !!! if they took out the cresswell of it all this book would be higher bc theres so much to love (and i mean this literally, this book is SO LONG)

stars above - this feels weird to rank because it isnt one full book, its a set of short stories, and the reason why its down here is because the only ones i consistently go back to are something old something new and the princess and the guard, if those two were full books they would probably be in the number 2 or 3 spot tbh (specially princess and the guard), but the thing is with stars above is that theres just a little too much filler for me,, like thornes chapter is pointless and is not interesting at all, and the little andriod actually is really sweet but i wouldve happily sacrificed that and thornes chapter to get more content with the other short stories, as i feel like they had a lot more to say (i do love cinders cameo in the little andriod tho)

[autisticempathydaemon]

Ohmygod I love matchups

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

Too sweet by Hozier ofc ofcm I looove Hozier and the way he sings about relationships 😭 Im like not fixated on a specific lyric, I'm fixated on the wedding bells in the background of the chorus

What is your Enneagram type?

Okay it has been a FUCKTON of time since I looked at that stuff but iirc it was 2? Me being an infp is literally the only thing I can consistently remember bc ADHD brain

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?

YESS I listen to them whenever I'm playing Sims or working on something. Any of Jenny Nicholson or Li Speaks’ videos are common for that Nostalgic Essay Stuff. SPECIFICALLY Jenny Nicholson’s jeff the killer fanfiction book video because I OWNED THAT BOOK. I WROTE CREEPYPASTA FANFICTION AND I OWNED THAT BOOK

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend.

I did not have one and I pretended to because everyone else did and I felt weird for not having one

What is your go-to way to fall asleep?

Imagining being loved and cared for 😭 or whumpy fanfiction scenarios no in-between. But they usually overlap

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?)

I named myself after a character cause I relate ofc but I also named myself echo because it was another birth name in consideration for me and it feels like… whimsical

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why?

ITS STILL “FLIRTY VAMPIRE LOSES CONTROL” BECAUSE IM OBSESSED WITH SCENES WHERE THE HUMAN PARTNER OF A “MONSTER” CHARACTER IS DIRECTLY CONFRONTED WITH THEIR MONSTROUS TRAITS AND LOVES THEM ANYWAY.

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.)

Gavin </3 I am simply not a sexual person and it puts me off a bit lol

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to.

This spectacular show called dramaworld about a girl whos obsessed with kdramas and gets sucked into the world of them, but not in a “the events are real” way, in a “the entire world is a setup for the same characters to go through various plots, forgetting and falling in love over and over again” and it's hilarious and it's such a comfort show even though I can't watch it anywhere anymore I don't think. The main romance is top tier. It's so funny. And the stakes and plot twists are actually pretty good

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

Probably Sam? I want him to be my dad. I have issues.

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.)

Apparently when I'm half asleep I start talking about horses? But when I'm still conscious, I mostly talk about like. Vampires mostly.

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

doritos dinamita and mountain dew yes I am basic

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment.

I don't have favorite playlists so much as I play 4-6 songs over and over on repeat until I'm sick of them. Currently, those songs are too sweet by Hozier, no more birthdays by sophie may, and Every Chappelle Roan Song.

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why?

I love bad romance novels the more ridiculous and bad, the better. kresley cole's immortals after dark are fun to make fun of (no. Hate if you like them)

And whatever else you think tells me about who you are!

Uhhh my favorite form of interaction is parallel play. irl or digital, in a digital sense it means “we're liveblogging two separate things we're doing at the same time” lmao

- Asher-Echo/vampire-bite

Ooh, there’s a lot of good info to consider here. Initially, it was hard because I find Type Two’s easily compatible with most of the Redacted bois, but what said about “not being a sexual person” made it easy to choose Ollie for you.

Because he has never and will never get a BA, I love to headcanon Ollie as either asexual, low-libido, or both, so that’s one reason I think he’d be a good match for you. I also love that y’all would like so many of the same things like open-world games, bad/silly romance novels, and spending time with one another without the pressure to actively interact or engage with each other. (Also creepypastas. I love to headcanon Ollie as a horror, creepypasta fiend, given he grew up on the internet around when Jeff the Killer came to be.)

Every day with Ollie would be so comfortable and domestic, so sweet. Like, on a long weekend like this one if you’re American, I can see y’all spending it at home, a little staycation. He’d be in the other room or one end of the couch reading, and you’d be on the other reading one of your romance novels. Cattywumpus would be on your lap, because you’re his favorite. Your music is playing in the background, and you both stop what you’re doing to dance to “Hot to Go!”, because Ollie would totes love Chappell Roan.

Song:

Spillin' wine and homemade drinks/ We throw a cheers, the worries sink/ Damnit, it's so good to be alive/ We know that we don't got much/ But, then again, it's just enough/ To always find a way for a good time

Ollie strikes me as the type of guy who loves simple, feel-good, folk-esque music, someone being honest and emotional with a guitar. That’s one reason I like this song for y’all and can imagine it shuffled with yours as y’all hang out. The other is that this love song is sweet, catchy, simple just like Ollie~

Runner-ups:

Your love of the Sims and cheesy paranormal romance novels compels me to give you Elliott as a runner-up, because he could bring the things you read and create to life in your dreams, and that’d be so fun! In contrast, your Enneagram type and identifying yourself as nonsexual makes me want to pair you with Cam who gives me an asexual, easily affectionate vibe.

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[spandexual]

Hello! I’m sorry that today I come without any fun toku questions. I must say I enjoy reading your Boomger stuff on forsaken bird app! Love me a pathetic Blue also.

I wanted to ask whether you have a perfume recommendation for a beginner. I can’t tell you much about my skin, my usual preference at least so far is opposite of what your skin likes. I like citrus and jasmine and I know it isn’t suitable for your skin 😅 Current perfume I have might smell like citrus dish soap (I don’t mind it much) or simply citrus with its bitterness and freshness depending on a day. Yet my head might hurt from salt in perfume for example. Overall I might enjoy to smell a lot of stuff, but can’t wear anything heavy. Anyway, I thought you still might suggest something/know something good, you’re great at perfume stuff 🥰 Sorry if it is something hard, I understand if you can’t suggest me anything. ☺️

From your perfume recs I liked JHAG’s Not A Perfume because it is light and I think it suits me! At least it doesn’t smell like shit, lol (had this experience with Kenzo’s L'eau Pour Femme ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

I kind of feel bad for asking now, sorry I am that curious when my taste is so opposite. In exchange now, I’ll say about toku anyway. I think my fav watch thread of yours is Zenkaiger. It’s just such fun show and seeing you watch it was extremely fun also, you sold me on watching it myself! Also the throuple. I know one day you might write a fic for them so I hope a great idea will fall into your head eventually! I don’t have any in me though 😅

don't apologise, I appreciate that I'm being thought of as someone with good advice lol! Not A Perfume is a fave of mine too, it's a shame so many people have the gene that means they completely can't smell it. I think it's a really sexy scent!

As for jasmine, I actually really love it! I don't wear it a huge amount bc most of the time it's not paired with the heavier woodsier notes I like and like... I have a giant jasmine plant out the front of my house, so I don't miss the scent too much when I'm not wearing it. That said, I like Lush's Vanillary which as you might guess is a pretty heavy vanilla scent but it has a great jasmine note in it as well as tonka (and lasts FOREVER even on my perfume-killer skin, really, I could still smell it after 5 drinks and 4 hours of sweaty dancing at Emo Nite lmao so be careful with your sprays...), and J'Adore Dior is a girly classic for a reason. There was also a relatively recent Gucci perfume that I liked a lot but I don't remember which one it was and there are multiple that have jasmine in their ugly floral bottle range so you'll just have to try them all I guess lol sorry. These should all be pretty easy to find and try tho!

And I'm glad you're enjoying my Boonboomger thread (it's no surprise to say I love pathetic blues too right lol) and enjoyed my Zenkaiger one! Zenkaiger is seriously insanely good, Donbros gets so much attention and praise for being The Best Sentai Ever I think because it was just so many people's first sentai (and/or first Inoue toku, whereas I know him VERY well lol) and it was fairly unusual in structure while still being entertaining but Zenkaiger I think really deserves that title if you were going to choose anything from Reiwa because it is so sentai. I liked Donbrothers and I LOVED Kingohger but both of them clearly were going "HEH we're not like OTHER sentais!!!!" and Inoue for his part seemed to actively hate a lot of what makes sentai sentai lol. Again I liked Donbrothers a lot but lbr it's basically just one of his Kamen Rider shows but brighter coloured.

As for zenkai ot3... I would like to write something for them some day, but it is difficult to think of something when the show is just so cute. I'm not someone who's good at writing fluff, really, and they demand it. My speciality is political underhandedness, moral ambiguity and veiled but burning hot eroticism. I think John Toei made Kaguragi for me specifically

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 1/31/23

month started on a sunday, ended on a tuesday, very satisfying

listening

Toxic Las Vegas (Jamieson Shaw Remix). this has been on my "silly little walk for my silly little mental health" playlist for three weeks so it's time for its place in the tuesdaypost. part of the appeal is that it's two songs i already like but this remix does something where i go "whoa is that the james bond chord" every time even though it is NOT.

-

reading

Bullet Train, a black humor thriller set on a train full of asssassins by Kōtarō Isaka. i have been having... mmmmmmmm. a time. let us say. and i have been clinging to things that i have lost my mind about (mostly cowboys) in order to get through the agonies. so it is weird, now that i am branching out a bit more bc things are on a slightly different tack, to be like "yeah i liked this a normal amount and i agree with the 3.8 goodreads average. i will not remember this in three months." npr said basically: fun little genre piece with no real depth! i don't completely agree with this, bc the book is not action-scene focused! the very few fights are short, blunt, quick affairs. there's a lot of focus on personal ethics and legacies, and a great deal of terror derived from random chance. but yeah it's not really a literary novel.

this was a fast, fun read. a rare example where i liked the adaptation (the recent movie which is a VERY loose adaptation) much more than the original work.

i try not to be picky about sentence structure or work choice in a translated work, bc translation is a tricky business at best, but there were some funky choices here and there that did throw me out of my groove. it's written in present tense, which is fine, but i cannot remember the last time i read a professionally published non-romance book written in present tense. i described the movies as "really wants you to know it took AP English", and the book is similar in an interesting way-- book!tangerine is constantly quoting English literary-canon novels.

the book (and movie) have a very dry sense of humor that clicked with me. "it's not clear why the man is naming fruits". at LEAST two sensible chuckles.

the biggest book/movie divergence is with the character of the Prince: a fourteen-year-old serial killer, who we spend a great deal of the book with, who asks nearly every grownup on this train "why is it bad to kill people?". a rare book in which i actively wanted a child to die. i think this character is much improved in the movie, since the character is both aged up (a young teen boy in the book, an older teen girl in the movie), and given clearer ties to the rest of the cast. however, this adaptational choice does lose almost all of the terror of the random chance the book makes you sit with. in the movie, the prince has a motive. in the book, that kid just ain't right.

had a fun time but not enough of a fun time that i will be seeking out the other novels in the series on purpose. perhaps if i come across physical copies cheap it will ping my memory and i'll grab them, which is how i acquire a lot of my physical books. this feels like im damning with faint phrase, but i did have a fun time reading this! it's just that my brain is a sieve and lately anything that doesn't completely possess me is immediately forgotten.

-

watching

fallow week bc i have been #gaming. i need to literally put on my to-do list "rewatch The Big Sleep for febslash feb research" maybe that'll get me to actually do it. im going to take this opportunity to complain about how much fucking work it is to write smut. not even the technical stuff bc i do like to write smut that's threesomes where everyone is the same gender and has the same color hair. the hard part is going "okay what's sexy" and then like storyboarding out the sequence of events to make sure everyone's having fun and it CONSISTENTLY stays sexy the whole time. i have never had irl sex with a narrative throughline. difficult difficult lemon difficult

-

playing

still running around in wolfenstein: the new order making this big beefy boy do jumps and slides. went to the moon. came back from the moon. hit a very fun bug as i try to fight my way out of the london nautica where i crash landed, bc i died, the level spat me out at the last checkpoint, and there were no health or ammo or armor pickups anywhere. just what i could scavenge off the fallen. very unpleasant to fight through a room with 20 health but i did do one whole room before realizing this was a bug. i would not like to play the entire game like this. very stressful. the big boss at the end of the level was also extremely stressful.

but let's talk about the moon, the moon in the fucking sky. how was the moon? was the moon fun? no it was full of nazis. it was also jammed full of sixties computer banks tho. many instruments and dials as well.

as i write this on sunday night i am going to attempt Again to finish the second to last chapter in this game. i am So Close to finishing this game in under 20 hours [ed note, monday night: lmao still have not finished this game]. look at some more computer banks there aren't enough pictures to break up this post.

not sure if this is a side effect of the next-location action movie disease, but wolfenstein is very interested in how areas link together. lots of temporary facilities that have grown ad-hoc roots, lots of trains planes and automobiles. we drive a lot of trucks. we’re in helicopters and subs and moon rockets. we blow up a bridge and scramble through several trains, blowing one of them up. we fuck on a train also can't forget that cutscene. we live in the sewers. we scuttle around in vents. we are in some very far-flung locations but they all look the fucking same bc they are encased in brutalist concrete. i'm sure this is bc it's fun to have a gun battle on a train and on the fucking moon and bc like u only have so many guys actually modelling things for your levels.

this is a very half-baked observation bc i think i am beginning to get a migraine (as i finish writng this on monday night) but let's get this out of the way first: all buildings are political. something something things invented and built for war never actually go away, something something transportation infrastructure to ease conquest continues to keep the colonies within easy reach of the imperial core, wartime infrastructure like highways and bridges as a tool of empire, fascism is a constant state of war which in this game is partly represented by constant shooting and also constant building. something something the unsustainability of not only constant building things but constant growth. something something long linked history of fascist architects who love brutalism. this video game has great visual design and visual shorthands is what im trying to get at. i think.

the london nautica museum/labs/spaceport is a big gun. this is not a subtle game.

-

making

here's a peek behind the curtain: i talk about cooking when i don't have anything else to report on. but i genuinely did not have anything else going on this weekend bc this took all my fucking literal and metaphorical spoons. this represents like three weeks worth of soup lunch (the red lentil previously discussed on this series) plus two quiches.

why so many quiches lately? i bought two dozen eggs before christmas and thought i would do more baking than i did, which was zero. tried this dal palak recipe, majorly fucked up the proportions of the spinach bc i cannot read the back of a package, and by the time i corrected my mistake i had a fuck of a lot of the spinach/onion/spices. unfortunately i fucking hate the texture of rice plus lentils plus this mixture all together, but felt bad about wasting so much food, so the lentils went into the soup (which i needed to make more of anyway) the spinach mixture went into some quiche (bc i needed to use up those eggs anyway) and uhhh idk what will happen with the rice yet. maybe fried rice to finish off the last three eggs in the carton. this entire debacle used all my spoons for the weekend.

there's also a pork shoulder defrosting (and after that marinating[from last summer's Father's Day Meat Sale i also wish i was making this up]) but that's not very photogenic. i desperately need freezer space and it's been a fucking minute since i had some meat.

[spinsterennui]

I was tagged by the lovely @archetypewriter ❤️❤️❤️ Thank you so much for thinking of me darling!!! Fair warning, though: you’ve asked *an English lit grad student* to answer questions in a written format. I hope you’ve learned your lesson lol. In my defense, I can’t help being verbose; it’s my nature!!! 😂😭

Tag 9 people you want to get to know better!!!

Last song: XTC “Respectable Street”

Last show: Burn Notice

Currently watching: I always have the tv on in the background bc it reduces anxiety for me, but I’m not necessarily watching; it’s like white noise. The shows I’m actually watching are: Burn Notice, trying to finally finish Lucifer (the second half of season 6), and I’m going to try to get to Lucky Hank either today or tomorrow, despite my having a severe issue with large beards due to traumatic childhood parent issues. I honestly can’t decide if it’s a good thing that Bob has such a terrible beard in this show or not 😭 Like the fact that he’s playing an English professor might have been too indulgent for me without the off-putting facial hair lol.

Currently reading: Unfortunately I don’t read much for pleasure at the moment. A lot of this has to do with being so behind in my dissertation, which causes me to feel like I shouldn’t/can’t read anything that isn’t research; consequently, I end up just not reading. That said, I have been reading bits of Bob’s book A Load of Hooey, which is hilarious and ridiculous but is also easy to pick up and put down because it has a lot of very short parts. Books closer to my research: Killer Apes, Naked Apes & Just Plain Nasty People: The Misuse and Abuse of Science in Political Discourse by professor emeritus of anthropology at St. Lawrence University Richard J. Perry (a history and critique of biological determinism that is written for a non-academic audience — I highly recommend it) and, a more theory-based text, The Age of Scientific Sexism: How Evolutionary Psychology Promotes Gender Profiling and Fans the Battle of the Sexes by feminist/queer theorist and Distinguished Professor of critical theory and gender/sexuality studies at University of Toronto Mari Ruti (also fantastic albeit a bit dated as it’s from 2015 — Ruti has a very interesting writing style, but this book can be challenging for someone unfamiliar with theory and/or reading heavily academic texts).

Current obsession: I mean all apologies for being interminably repetitious, but Burn Notice (as well as Jeffrey Donovan in Burn Notice because a) he’s an incredible actor and b) he is seriously fucking hot in this role). I’m actually rewatching (yes AGAIN), but mainly because I realized that I hadn’t really been paying attention to seasons 1-2 during the rewatch.

When Better Call Saul ended I wasn’t really ready to invest in a totally new show (except for a couple of shorter ones), because it left me a tad despondent I suppose. I’d watched it from day one, back in 2015, after we’d binged Breaking Bad. So I saw that Burn Notice was streaming and thought “low stakes rewatch” because even though I watched the whole series when it originally aired, it ended back in like 2013 I think, and I’d honestly forgotten how good it is. Despite its flaws, it is such an entertaining and satisfying show. It has an incredibly strong and unique female character, and the way Michael and Fiona’s relationship develops (or re-develops) is fun and frustrating and emotionally rewarding at once. They’re both deeply flawed, deeply traumatized characters who love each other more than they love themselves, and slowly they both grow to realize that they can bring out the good in each other while helping to mitigate the bad. They save other people, that’s the sort of formula of the show beyond the burned spy part, but they also save each other, in more ways than one.

I really love shows that, at their core, turn out to be about something more substantial than what appears on the surface, particularly if that something is love in some form. When a show surreptitiously sneaks in a message about love, that show tends to stick with me so much longer and affect me so much more deeply. Better Call Saul, The X-Files, The Americans (admittedly in a fucked up way), The Glory, Lucifer, Leverage (which reminds me that I still need to watch the new one), or even Bates Motel (or ​Buffy/Angel in some ways) all, to one extent or another, have an underlying narrative of love (not just romantic, although that’s a fave for me), as well as related themes of identity (and what it means — like both what you choose and what others assign to you and how that affects your ability to be a fulfilled human), trauma and the aftermath, and family (both blood and found). These themes are quite overt in some of the shows I mentioned and less so in others, but in my opinion the threads run through them all. However, in Burn Notice they each are incorporated into the story incredibly well, which is a big part of what makes the show so compelling for me.

Okay, essay over!!!!! All apologies 😫 Anyway here’s a photo of a special birdie friend on my mantle (the spots are blacked out for privacy bc they are photos of my nephews) ❤️

I’m not going to tag nine people but I am tagging @veyzus @yellowginghamdream @tahiri-veyla @darkskywishes (though I haven’t seen them in a while so I hope all is well) and @nissameta1782 (I always feel weird tagging unless I know someone pretty well, which is weird bc I love being tagged by people I’ve never talked to before lol . . . go figure). Please don’t feel pressured!!! Ignore if you want ❤️

[the-cat-chat]

March 30, 2024

Donnie Darko (2001)

During the presidential election of 1988, a teenager named Donnie Darko sleepwalks out of his house one night and sees a giant, demonic-looking rabbit named Frank, who tells him the world will end in 28 days.

Warning: Review may contain spoilers. Read at your own risk.

JayBell: This is my second watch of Donnie Darko, and I have to admit that I still didn’t quite “get it” in its entirety. Normally that would bother me, but honestly I don’t mind it here. Donnie Darko is more of a movie that you experience and feel. It’s bizarre but also interesting and engaging. Even if I’m asking “what the fuck?” I’m still having a good time.

The acting isn’t anything to complain about in my opinion (Seth Rogan what are you doing here? Also is that a stray Ashley Tisdale?). Baby Jake Gyllenhaall plays his part well as an extremely emotionally disturbed young man.

I love the exploration of cause and effect and figuring out how all the puzzle pieces fit together. It’s a bit of sci-fi, a bit of mystery, and a bit psychological horror maybe? Whatever it is, I like it. And maybe I’ll understand just a bit more every time I watch it.

P.S. Shoutout to the song Mad World by Gary Jules. What a perfect fit to the movie.

Rating: 7/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: I am shocked to say I really like this out there pick for Easter. I wanted to watch it as a joke, but I was pleasantly surprised. Now I am not saying it’s not weird at moments or that I’m totally crushed by the ending (sooorrry) bc there were some moments I was definitely like wow. And why? And WhATttt?

But can we just start with the basics. Uhhh baby Jake Gyllenhaal??? So glad he grew into the eyebrows. And his sister??? That being said I did like the family and think it really balanced how when a family is concerned but also trying to get through it the best they can while dealing with other things. And the dad was funny and I liked how the mom dealt with that annoying lady.

I will say- the airplane engine falling into his bed- didn’t question until the end- when I knew the truth- which is really odd I know. But time travel really whacks out my brain and I was sorely unprepared for it in this movie. I thought Donnie Darko was the bunny and a homicidal killer. But whatever. I think it was interesting that the first have you think it’s just Donnie losing his grip on reality and for the entire time you question what’s happening, like a fun little guessing game.

Needless to say Frank really creeps me out - his voice is totally uncalled for. I totally thought it was a coincidence the sister had a friend named Frank but then all was revealed. And the Easter egg of the bunny pumpkin!!! Anywhoooo although I was bummed out about the ending I really liked the entire plot of it and how there’s so much going on. Even though I hate that baby Donnie Darko died and there’s plenty of ideas around it- and I hate the gym teacher- I firmly believe what she and the freak Patrick Swayze preached that Donnie finally stopped acting in fear and started acting out of love - and that he chose to sacrifice himself for his family and fix the timeline. Bc all of his problems were rooted in the fear he held, which as a teenage is A LOT of fear. Ugggggh. - I really think how everyone else left behind had a sense of Deja vu was an interesting aspect. And now I’m sad againnnnnnn. Gaaa.

^ also why is it not common knowledge that Ashley Tisdale, Jerry Trainor, or Seth Rogan are in this???

Rating: 7/10 BunBuns 🐇

[dckweed]

Can you do one based on the song Love grows by Edison Lighthouse where the reader is Eddie’s younger sister but is a flower child/hippie instead of a metal head and Steve is falling in love with her even though they are way way different?

yes omg i absolutely love that song so so much...im not at the seasons where eddie had been introduced yet so he's def not gonna be featured heavily, and when he is mentioned it's from what ive gathered of him in passing from other tumblr fics ok?

p.s. you're lucky my fiance took me on a random ass date today bc im in such a lovey fluffy mood rn

p.p.s im so embarrassed at how long this took me sksk but anyway, in lieu of my birthday yesterday ( the 2nd ), here you go love! I hope it was worth the wait!

warnings: puppy love at its finest. readers beware, sex is mentioned but i don't go into detail so I'd say it's minor safe! reader has a name in this fic but this is the only thing that is specified about them !! steve being head over heels, steve being completely madly deeply irreversibly in love with you. minor Eddie!Sibling mentions but not heavy bc im not familiar with him.

"...wild and free..." steve harrington x female!munson sibling! reader

Steve Harrington was completely and utterly down on his knees, hopelessly wrapped around your finger, and he had been from the first time he'd laid his eyes on you. He wasn't ashamed to admit that you weren't normally his type, he'd never much gravitated towards the flower child type of girls, but you? Something about you was just so stunningly killer that it shook him to his core and he just couldn't stay away.

He remembers that first day, he had been in the middle his usual banter with Robin, and wasnt paying one damn bit of attention to any customers, nor was she, and he honestly wouldn't have even known you were there until your hauntingly beautiful giggle carried across the store as he said something you'd thought funny. He jumped in fright, turning to find the source of the noise, and when his eyes land on you he feels his entire body kind of deflate for a moment, his breath leaving his lungs as he locks on you and your wildly beautiful form.

Your hair was a sort of untameable wavy texture that gave off a 'wild and free' vibe, you wore a strange outfit combination of a long, flowy white dress and a fringed brown leather vest coat, it looked completely gut wrenchingly beautiful on you. You smiled at him, an eyebrow raised.

"You all there, pretty boy?" You ask, cocking your head at him. You carried a small bag on your shoulder, and you lifted the top, grabbing a couple dollars out of it.

"Yeah..yeah..I'm here.." He says, shaking his head and clearing his throat. "What can I get for you?" He asked, and you grin.

"Three scoops of strawberry." You shove the money at him, and watch as he goes to grab it from the case. "With chocolate sauce between each scoop." He stops what he's doing, and looks at you.

"Between each scoop?" He asks, looking at you as if you were crazy. You nod once, looking at him. "Seems like you're over doing it a bit but okay.." He mumbles, and does as you say.

When he hands you the cone, with a napkin, he can't help he adore the intensely happy look that crosses your face, and he tries not to notice the way that bounce up and down in excitement. "Thank you, Steve.." You say, taking a long lick of it as you start to turn, getting ready to leave the scoops ahoy store.

"Wait-, how do you know my name?" He asks, stopping you in your tracks. You just give him a funny little look. "What's yours?" You giggle at him, shaking your head.

"All this time we went to school together and you don't know my name?" You ask him, before shaking your head again, sighing. "Makes sense, i suppose me and my brother never were on your radar, we weren't much on anyone's unless it was to make fun of us."

"Your brother? Wait, we went to school together?" He asks, confused, he squints trying to think. How could he not remember you? You were so stunningly, uniquely beautiful, how did he not know who you were?

"Really? We literally walked across the graduation stage together a couple months ago.." You say, he looks like he's thinking for a moment before he shakes his head. "Rosemary Munson? My brother is Eddie?"

He recognized your brothers name, but not yours. "Him, I know..you?" He shakes his head, you pout playfully, you couldn't blame him, you didn't really make yourself very known.

"Well, what a shame, Stevie-boy.." You say, slowly backing out of the store, he calls after you, but you keep on walking, your brother was waiting for you somewhere in the mall.

Steve scoffs, a look of wonder on his face as he turned towards Robin. "She called me Stevie-boy.." It seemed like such a childish nickname to him, but something about the way you said it made his knees feel like jelly, and he felt his tummy flutter.

Robin just shakes her head, rolling her eyes at him. "God, you're so weird." She says, arms crossed over her chest.

You had come in a few more times that week, and Steve had made sure to greet you by your name, sweet talking you as best as he could before he finally asked you, it was a Friday and he had had your three scoops of strawberry, with chocolate sauce in between, already put together and waiting for you for when you walked through the doors.

You did a few minutes later, your face lighting up moreso when you see the boy than the ice cream in his hand. "Awe, how sweet, you already had it all ready for me." You say, going to reach for it, he pulls his hand back, and you pout.

"Ah, ah, ah.." He says, placing his other hand on the counter, his bicep flexing under his sailor shirt. "You can have your ice cream, but there's one condition."

You tilt your head, rocking on your feet. "And just what is your condition of my pleasure?" You ask, hands on your hips. "Hm, Stevie-boy?"

There it was again, that fucking nickname that made his knees go weak. "You, me, dinner and movie." He says, not giving you room to say no. He watches you chew your bottom lip, thinking. Fuck that made him nervous, what if you said no? Shit, maybe I shouldn't have done that, he thought, starting to panic.

You look him over, your brother wouldn't be happy about this, but, you didn't care what Eddie thought, you thought Steve was adorable, he didn't seem like the person he used to be anymore, and you liked that he had changed, that he seemed to be outwardly a better individual. "Okay." You say finally, reaching over to grab your cone from his hand, your fingers brushing his, you let them linger a little longer than you should have. "Pick me up at 7?"

He notices you reaching for your purse and he shakes his head, a grin sliding across his lips. "It's on the house, Rosemary." He says. "I'll pick you up at 7."

Steve was on the dot punctual that evening. He had taken the afternoon off from work, trying to figure out where he was going to take you, he had even resorted to asking Dustin. The boy had suggested that he take you somewhere fancy, but Steve had thought that might be too much, but he also didn't want to not do the right thing. He wanted to you like every part of your date, he wanted to be memorable to you, even if it never went past the first night.

After a couple of hours he had finally decided that he would just let you choose, and he started moving on to his clothes, which he fussed and mussed over for a while. He felt like he was trying too much and not enough all at the same time, god, he thought, what the fuck is wrong with you, King Steve?

He stared at his watch the rest of the afternoon, counting down the minuets. Eventually, he finally dragged himself to his car and started it, pulling out of his neighborhood and into the direction of where he knew you lived.

Your brother was not at all happy to know you were going on a date tonight, with Steve Harrington of all people. He followed you throughout the house, talking your ear off about how his popular dick head views were going to rub off on you, and pointing out that he must not be as great as everyone thought because 'look at him now, Ro, he's working in an ice cream store'. You had glared at him. "How dare you be so judgemental, Eddie." You had said, he pouted at you, not used to hearing you be so firm. "He's a completely different person, and maybe his choice of work has actually helped him to become that."

You had kicked him out of your room after that, slamming the door in his face as you focused on getting dressed. You weren't nervous in the least, you were actually excited. You thought he was adorsbly sweet and you couldn't wait to see how nervous and awkward he was, but how sweet he was also.

You dressed quickly, a pair of tight low cut bell bottomed jeans, a tight white cropped top that went half way down your belly, that had flowy white sleeves that hung off your wrists a little bit. And you put your favorite brown fringed vest on top, before running a brush through your messy hair, unable to tame the frizzed out mess. You added your favorite pair of chunky heeled brown boots too, not bothering to put any makeup on, it's not like you'd been wearing it any time you'd seen him anyway.

After a couple of minutes you heard a knock on the front door, and heard your brother scurry to get it as you finished putting on your jewelry.

Eddie threw open the door, putting his hand up on the doorframe as he stares the boy down. Steve bounces on the balls of his feet. "Eddie." He says, hands in his pockets. The curly haired boy wore a an unreadable expression, his eyebrows pinched.

"Steve." Eddie says, pursing his lips, he opened his mouth to speak, he was going to be his usual over protective self, maybe give him a little help. But then he remembered the way that you had defended him, how sweetly you had talked about him when you'd come back from the ice cream shop every day this week. He hadn't seen you talk about anyone that way in a long time, and he couldn't help but like to see you happy. He settles on something else instead. "You seem like the clueless type when it comes to women, and my sister isnt most women." Steve looks at him, confused. "All im saying is..dairy queen is her favorite, incase you didn't already have a restaurant picked out."

"Oh.." Steve says, relaxing a little. He had expected something different from Eddie. "That does actually help me out a lot..she doesn't seem the fancy type, huh?" He says, his shoulders sagging with relief. Eddie chuckles, shaking his curly head of hair.

"No, she's not." He says, looking towards your room as he hears the door open. You step out, your purse on your shoulder. You stop, looking up at your brother and doing a little twirl for him, asking how you looked. "You look pretty, Rosemary.." He says, a soft smile on his face.

You were indeed pretty this evening, even more so than Steve had seen you before. His tongue caught in his throat and he couldn't quite speak when you stepped into the doorway, your brother having stepped to the side to make way for you. "You ready, Stevie-boy?"

He makes a noise in the back of his throat, holding out his hand. "Yeah..yeah I'm ready." He says, smile gracing his face. You did look a very beautiful sight to him, though most would have said that you were dressed strangely.

Steve never would have thought that that night would lead him to where he was now, nearly a year later with you in his bed, leg thrown over his as you pressed you naked body against his. Your head was resting on his chest, wild hair still sticky with sweat from the evenings activities, your breathing slow and light. He ghosts his hand over your spine, up and down, up and down, his other hand is entwined gently with yours, a feeling that gave him more of a thrill than any other thing he'd done with you. It was like you had casted some sort of spell over him from the first moment he'd heard that beautiful laugh of yours, from the first time you'd smiled at him, the first time you'd called him Stevie-boy..fuck, he was so far gone for you it wasn't even funny.

He wondered if you knew that.

He wondered if you knew just how far in love with you he was, how absolutely head over fucking heels, heart beating out of his chest, ba-dum-ba-dum in fucking love with you he so absolutely was..

He knew he was so absolutely fucking lucky to even have caught your attention, and even moreso to have had the pleasure to take you out. He was probably the luckiest son of a bitch to ever walk the earth to have you in his bed right now, to have had the pleasure of making you so delerious with pleasure that you couldn't even hold yourself up after..he smiles at the thought, chuckling at how you had still been shaking when he had picked you and carried you to the bathroom, legs wrapped around his waist as he cleaned you up, taking a warm shower. He had wiped every inch of you down, except for your hair because he knew that you hated going to bed with wet hair, and he has dried every inch of you off before carrying you back to bed, letting you lay on top of him as you drifted off to sleep.

He smiles, staring up at the cieling, unable to keep the lovesick grin off of his face. His love for you grew wherever you were, anywhere you went, he followed, he couldn't bare to be away from you..he would have to tell you in the morning, just how deeply he cares for you, how he absolutely worshiped the ground you walked on.. how completely and utterly wrapped around your finger he was.

You would probably laugh at him, but he didn't mind because he knew you were his. He didn't mind one damn bit if you thought he was insane, because as long as he has his Rosemary by his side, he was content with anything.

[n0bamak1s]

laughing gas - mai zenin x reader

request: “Mai Zenin x Fem S/o, where the s/o gets their wisdom tooth removed and confesses their love to mai acting all sweet and cute, mai then takes care of her s/o and confesses too, we can see mai being her bratty and confident self but when she is with her s/o she just lets her walls down” - @shockfirefly

summary: in the request! (genre: fluff, friends to lovers, slice of life, humor)

warnings: reader is high on anesthesia if that counts as a warning, swearing, mostly just tooth rotting fluff (literally!!)

word count: 2k

a/n: i really enjoyed writing this request! at this point i’m basically just a mai zenin stan account tbh but the requests for her are just so fun to write. i’m almost on summer break so hopefully i’ll be more active bc i have a few ideas i’m excited to write for!!

it seriously took everything in mai’s willpower to not immediately whip out her phone to film your groggy state the moment she stepped into the room where you had just gotten your surgery done. she stifled a laugh at the bandage wrapped around your head, vaguely reminiscent of the one noritoshi had worn following the exchange event. when your eyes flicker over to meet her gaze, you give what she can only assume is your attempt at a smile, but looks more like a dog caught eating its owner’s dinner, with your face all swollen and slightly flushed.

forget that willpower shit.

she shamelessly calls out your name, to which you respond like an eager little kid. “say cheese!” she gives you an uncharacteristically wide grin to signal you to mirror her actions. you seemed to not learn from your previous mistake and attempted to smile back at her, before immediately cutting yourself off with a muffled groan. she hardly bothered with hiding her giggle this time, but at the very least she had the decency to cover her mouth as she cracked up.

with an annoyed pout on your face, you huffed and turned to the nurse standing beside you, who you were apparently to loopy to notice had joined in with mai on giggling at your grogginess. “she’s so mean to me!” you said, though your tone had no real irritation to it.

“it’s just to send to utahime. she wants to make sure your doing alright.” mai lied straight through her teeth, though you seem satisfied enough with that answer as you started to push yourself up from the seat you’d been in. mai quickly rushed to your side, knowing you weren’t sensible enough at the moment to ask for her help. before you could stand up and inevitably wobble over, she looped an arm around your waist and moved your arm so it was slung over her shoulders.

“alright champ, let’s get going.” she tried to remain as nonchalant as possible with the close proximity, but unfortunately for her, you seemed determined to embarrass her as much as possible.

“well at least buy me dinner first, ya casanova!” you said (much louder than necessary, mind you). honestly, it wouldn’t be surprising to mai if you could be heard from the waiting room.

with an over enthusiastic wave from you and an awkward thanks from mai to the nurse, you guys set off on your way.

to be fair to you, it was surprisingly a relatively tame trip to the door, with you focusing on keeping your steps in tune with mai’s. you were too lost in thought to embarrass yourself until you had made it to the waiting room. you had rather innocently pointed out a small curse, which would have been completely harmless had it not actually been an old woman, and had you not spoken with an inappropriately loud voice. the poor old lady who had fallen subject to your anesthesia induced self gave you an agitated glare as mai waved sheepishly in apology. the moment you guys were out the door, you turned back to glance through the glass.

“we’ll get her later, mai!” you patted her on the back with determination, your voice still muffled in a way that made you sound like you belonged on sesame street. “she can’t fool me, stupid curse!”

had it been anyone else, mai would have simply rolled her eyes and tugged you on, but since it was you, she found herself laughing along, a quiet laugh, like the sound of a wind chime in early spring weather. the sound seemed to catch you off guard, causing you to stop in your antics before turning to face her. she paused when she felt your gaze back on her, looking at her like a kid would look at fireworks for the first time.

she raised an eyebrow at your sudden change in demeanor. “what?”

“your laugh is pretty.” you stated simply, clearly having some pride at being the one to get her to laugh like that.

she turned away for a moment, hoping it would stop you from seeing the flush spreading across her face, knowing you’d never let her live it down. “thanks.” she muttered, praying she sounded at least a little bit cool and composed.

the short walk to the car was filled with you pointing out random cars asking if they were mai’s as you rested your head on her shoulder, before deciding the swelling was too painful for that.

a large grin which quickly turned into a grimace (you really never learned) appeared on your face when mai finally informed you that you’d made it to the right car. she held your hand to support you as you stepped into the seat, and once she’d sat down, reached over to buckle you in. she chose to ignore the over exaggerated wink you sent her way in favor of her own sanity.

as she drove, you babbled on about nonsense like how you were sure noritoshi had made mechamaru to hide the fact that he was secretly a robot, or how after that run you had gotten at the baseball game, you were sure you were destined to quit sorcery to go to the major leagues. to humor you, mai nodded along, before dryly responding that she’d probably be a better fit considering how good she looked in the baseball uniforms.

ignorant of her joking tone, you were quick to agree enthusiastically. “definitely! but i dunno if i’m the best person to ask, because i think you look good in just about anything.” your voice was sincere as you turned fully to look at her with slightly hazy eyes.

before either of you had time to process the admiration you had shown towards her, you glanced back out the window to the familiar sight of your school. you excitedly waved at the sight of todo and noritoshi sparring together. after catching his attention, todo didn’t even bother to stop the roaring laughter that came from your appearance, pointing out to noritoshi the similarities between your current look and his from just a few weeks ago. noritoshi gave todo an annoyed look, before glancing back over to see mai helping you out of the car, once again slinging your arm over her shoulders and supporting you with an arm on your waist.

she tried her best to ignore todo, she really did. though, it wasn’t exactly easy to ignore him when he loudly exclaimed what a ‘lady killer’ mai was. she snapped her gaze to meet his eyes, giving him a cold glare, before continuing to slink you along to your dorm.

when you opened the door to your dorm, the first thing mai noticed was a bulletin board on your wall, decorated with photos of all your friends, which most recently included your classmates. her eyes flicked to a photo of you next to another girl in elementary school with a smile that showed off your gap from missing teeth, and she chuckled softly at the irony of the photo compared to your current situation. her gaze then quickly shifted to a newly added strip of pictures from a photo booth. she smiled fondly at the memory of you, her, miwa, and momo sandwiching yourselves together in the tiny booth to take photos during your shopping trip. they weren’t ‘good’ photos, per say, in fact you guys all looked rather ridiculous trying to pack into frame, but for some reason, mai seemed to soften up at the memory of it, and how happy you looked just to be next to her.

her train of thought was interrupted by you tugging on the hand that didn’t rest on you, making her turn to see you mere inches from her face.

why the hell were you so close???

“yes?” she questioned, hoping to deflect from the fact that she was so obviously gushing over the photos on your wall just moments before.

“will you sleep with me?”

had you not had an arm around her, she probably would have dropped you in that instant. from the way she carried herself to the way she talked to others, most people would assume mai zenin does NOT blush, yet somehow you’d managed to disprove that theory way too many times today.

“WHAT?” it was her turn to be loud for a moment.

“i’m tireddddd” you whined “and you’re so warm.” you had stated it so casually, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

she groaned, as if it would cover up her sheer embarrassment at how bold you were. wordlessly, she walked you to your bed, keeping her grip on your waist secure. it was amazing how gentle she was as she laid you down on that rock solid bed all the dorms were stuck with. she pulled a blanket over you, sitting awkwardly on the edge of the bed in hopes you’d doze off peacefully from there. when she didn’t shift from her position, you looked at her with a confused expression.

“wouldn’t it be more comfortable to lay down?” your words were still slightly slurred together. you rested a hand on hers. “you know i don’t mind.” despite your dazed look, she could tell your words were sincere as your thumb rubbed circles atop her hand.

mai turned to face you full on, her eyes gentle rather than their usual harsh look.

curse you for being so hard to resist.

“fine” her voice was quiet “but only because it’s my job to watch over you.” she stretched out her legs so she was laying down on the bed, pulling the blanket towards her so she could get comfortable.

“you’re so good to me mai.” you smiled. not a pained grimace, or an awkward baring of your teeth, but a smile. “people always seem to be so intimidated by you, but i don’t really get it. you’ve always been so nice to me. it’s nice.”

she didn’t understand how even when you were all loopy, you still managed to have such an effect on her. hesitantly, she reached up to grab your hand, intertwining her fingers with yours.

it seemed the boldness from your anesthesia had rubbed off on her.

before she had time to talk, you continued. “i always feel so glad when we get paired up for missions, you make me feel so safe. like, i know when i’m around you that you’ll protect me. i admire you so much for doing all that for me.”

she went slightly stiff at your...confession? declaration? what exactly would you call that? you had said it so nonchalantly, whether it was out of trying to play off your fear of rejection or legitimate confidence, it was hard to tell.

“plus you’re really pretty.” your hand squeezed hers as you looked suddenly very interested in the pattern of your blanket. it was odd, seeing you get so shy all of a sudden, though she supposed it was somewhat of a win for her.

as you stared sheepishly away from her eyes that traced over every inch of your face, you felt her hand come up to your cheek, tilting you to face her. she continued scanning your face with an impossibly soft expression, before meeting your eyes once again.

“you know i wouldn’t do all that if it was anyone else.” her voice was barely above a whisper as her eyes bore into yours. her face was so close to yours that you could feel her breath fanning lightly across your face. “it’s all for you.” you’d never seen her so earnest before.

you smiled softly at her, even despite the ridiculous bandages around your head, and your chipmunk like cheeks, she still stared at you with so much love.

“you like meeee.” your tone was teasing, but it was obvious to anyone with a pair of eyes that you were just as whipped as her.

“dammit. you figured me out.” she said sarcastically, shuffling forward slightly so you were flush against her.

up close, the tiredness in your glassy eyes was obvious. she sighed to herself, and slowly leaned in to plant a soft kiss on your forehead.

“get some sleep.” she smiled at your eyes struggling to fight open your heavy eyelids. “we have a lot to talk about once the anesthesia wears off.”

maybe todo wasn’t so far off with that ‘lady killer’ comment.

[septembersghost]

You’re back! I missed you and I’m glad you’re back for the finale (fingers crossed it’s better than the last two we suffered through).

Your post about brba/bcs is beautiful. Idk who was being mean to you last week (I will bite them), but I for one am so so glad you started posting about brba and bcs, because I never in a million years would’ve watched them otherwise. I’d written off Breaking Bad as a violent, overhyped show that I wouldn’t enjoy, but when I saw you posting about it, I reconsidered.

After all, Dexter should’ve fallen into that same category - a violent show with a mostly male audience - and I love our darling serial killer. (You brought him back to me too, and I will never be able to thank you enough. Without you, I would’ve gone forever without seeing season five, and seeing Dexter and Lumen. It’s horrible to even think about). And the show that started it all kind of falls into that same demographic, though it’s hardly as violent or as praised. So I thought, maybe Breaking Bad would be like that. If it and Better Call Saul were so important to you, then I would probably at least like them. And if I didn’t, then I could at least like Aaron Paul’s face.

But I don’t think I’ve ever watched a show so quickly without trying. I started it in early May and finished El Camino before memorial day, and I took breaks! Days off to try to savor the experience, take it in more fully, but it demanded to be devoured. I plan to go back and watch it more slowly once some time has passed, to fully take it in, and I know it will be one of those shows I come back to over and over again. Not a comfort show exactly, but a familiar one, an important one.

Better Call Saul isn’t quite the same for me - I think it’s the kind of show that would’ve benefited from a slower watch, rather than my rushed marathon to catch up in time and watch the finale in almost real time. (I’ll watch it tomorrow morning, but I’m not watching it live. Last time I watched an episode of television live it was the episode that doesn’t exist, and I won’t do that again.) But I’ve had such a fun time with it, and I’m far more emotionally connected than I thought I would be. I’m not sure what kind of ending I’m expecting. I want a happy one, but I don’t know that we’ll get one.

Regardless of how this series ends (and the brba/bcs universe, but saying “regardless of how this universe ends” is a bit dramatic even for me), I’m very grateful to you for bringing it into my life.

thank you so much for this message, sweetheart, i was saving it for after the finale, and it made me really happy to read.

I’d written off Breaking Bad as a violent, overhyped show that I wouldn’t enjoy, but when I saw you posting about it, I reconsidered. this is not an uncommon opinion, and i don't blame you (i thought the same back in the day!), its reputation on the internet has gotten a bit away from what the core of the show actually is. i'm very glad you decided to take a chance on it anyway.

i mentioned this (though not by name) in my post, but breaking bad and dexter were ending at the same time in 2013. i'd started watching dexter a few years before that, and the last season was rough on me (lol little did we know), and breaking bad was exploding in popularity in its final run. i was mostly like, hmmm, maybe i'll consider watching this as distraction from this other story i loved going badly, and it ended up hooking me and being far more meaningful than i anticipated. but dexter was the same for me as you described, i would never have thought i'd get so attached or care about it with the expanse of emotion that i felt, that i still have when i go back to it. i've loved being able to discuss that with you too, and that you got to experience lumen's story especially. and as i've discussed many times, the show that started it all, on the surface, shouldn't have been for me necessarily either - male-focused and seemingly violent and machismo laden, and yet that isn't what it is at all. each of these stories are far more intricate and emotionally resonant than that, and i'm grateful they've had presences in my life, and led me to explore the themes and hold onto the characters.

If it and Better Call Saul were so important to you, then I would probably at least like them. And if I didn’t, then I could at least like Aaron Paul’s face. this is SO real (it is a very good face!), but it's wonderful that you ended up truly enjoying the shows too. 💕💕💕

breaking bad is inherently bingeable, you just NEED to know what's happening next. it's the fastest show i've ever gotten through a show the first time too, though i was racing to the finish line with it at that point, it was still easy to, as you said, devour it.

i have a collection of shows i love that aren't necessarily comforts, and yet there's something about the familiarity of them, the profound feeling of them, that makes them easy to fall into nonetheless. brba and bcs have both found homes in that category. they crafted such a profound and breathtaking universe, in the way the narratives intertwine (i can no longer recommend one without the other at all!), in the complexity and multifaceted pieces of all of the characters. they are truly treasures of the artform to me, and it has been a gift being able to share them and the conclusion of this journey with you.

[goji-pilled]

Okay @princekirijo you want an essay? Well here it is now, or as I like to call it Felix's "Asumari is great and this fandom has no fucking taste" rambling and infodump. Congrats fellas, thanks to Prince you ALL get an asumari essay. But before that I'll try to give you a rundown of Mari and Asuka. 

(I'm also so sorry for putting this long ass post on everyone's dashboard)

(Spoiler warning for Evangelion 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon a Time!!)

Alright on one hand we have Mari Illustrious Makinami. Her whole deal? She's a walking ray of sunshine, literally lol. Unlike any other character in the Evangelion franchise she doesn't suffer from her trauma, she's quite literally the only healthy and functioning human being, she's just slightly leaning towards "batshit crazy" with the stunts she pulls 🤷‍♂️. Other than that she just loves living, she loves being with people, she keeps moving forward, stays positive and decides to live life to it's fullest even after she experiences loss and multiple apocalyptic events (Second Impact, Third Impact, etc.) and she really just embodies the joy of living. That's all there is to her, or at least all we know.

On the other hand, we have Asuka Langley Shikinami who is... well it's hard to explain what she is to be honest. She's part-German and part-Japanese and part of a line of clones specifically made with the purpose to pilot an Evangelion and later on be used as a sacrifice to trigger another Impact (ITS COMPLICATED I KNOW-) Asuka is, unlike Mari, very much suffering from her trauma. She doesn't have her parents and has a very deep seated belief that she's completely alone, which she says doesn't matter as long as she can pilot the Eva. She also very much wants to fight and kill angels all by herself, and it's seriously messing with her when she can't achieve that.

Now we get to the more interesting parts (hopefully this so far wasn't too confusing, then again it's Eva and even I can't fully wrap my head around it all LMAO)

In the second Rebuild movie (Evangelion 2.0 You can (not) advance) we get introduced to both of them, Mari's introduction scene (in the original English dub) has her pilot an Eva and singing about how she'll take the world on by herself, while in the third movie's (Evangelion 3.0 You can (not) redo) opening scene she's piloting the Eva again but this time it's together with Asuka (in her own Unit 02 though) and during that Mari sings about how wonderful it is not to be alone. It's nothing big yet, but it's a really cute detail me thinks,,, you know what else I love about them? They bicker and they banter and it's genuinely so fun to listen to shskdhsuwj

(For a quick catch up: During the end of 2.0 Shinji (the protagonist) triggers another apocalyptic event, the Near Third Impact, and was only stopped due to Kaworu (the guy in my pfp) stepping in. Also between 1.0/2.0 and 3.0/3.0+1.0 are about 14 years (without Shinji bc he's like comatose) where A LOT happens AND we learn in 3.0 that Eva pilots don't age physically bc of "The curse of the Eva"... honestly Eva is wild lmao)

Okay okay I'll get back to it!

So one thing that happens is that Asuka during 2.0 develops a crush on Shinji (girl why-), unfortunately things take a turn for the worse. Asuka had volunteered to be the testpilot for a new Eva (Unit 03), she seemed happy at the time and it was a really sweet build up with the "I can smile, I didn't know I could still do that."-line. And then? Then it turns out the Ninth Angel had infected Unit 03 (Angels are basically the Kaijus they fight using Evas btw). The thing goes on a loose and Shinji is forced to fight it (With Asuka inside mind you), he refuses and his father uses an autopilot to destroy Unit 03. And boy did it destroy the angel, well it and it crushed Asuka between its jaws (you can actually hear her scream btw haha pain :)).

Asuka survived though, but the whole incident cost her her humanity and she ended up becoming an angel herself/she took the place of the Ninth. But despite that, there's one person who keeps believing in Asuka's humanity, who fiercely believes Asuka is still a human and tells her as much.

Yep, that one person is Mari and she keeps holding onto that belief until the very end when Asuka uses her last resort, which is using the power of an angel (Doing so was a guaranteed death sentence btw). Mari's own words (in the German dub) were, "Princess, you're giving up being human…" AND IT MAKES ME SO EMO GOD FUCK

While I'm at it, Mari and Asuka are a fucking killer combo as a team. They rely on each other for support in combat, listen to the other's orders and advice. Especially in Asuka's case it's kind of a big deal that she so openly relies and counts on Mari's support. Like these two trust each other with their damn lifes!!! Holy shit!!

Guess what though, they also have nicknames for eachother. Mari always calls Asuka "Princess" or "(Your) Highness" while Asuka calles Mari "Four-eyes" / "Four-eyed chrony (idk how you spell that tbh RIP" Even better though, in the German dub Asuka calls Mari "Brillerella" as in a combination of "Brille" (German for glasses) and "Cinderella",,,,Cinderella and her Prince,,,Brillerella and her Princess,,, man, that was a gay fucking move of the translation team. Spoiler: I owe them my life.

Funfact: There's exactly two times throughout the Rebuild movies where Mari uses Asuka's actual name. These two times being when she watches Asuka "die" and be used as a sacrifice for Gendo's selfish plan and when later on she begs Shinji, "So please the Princess… Asuka needs your help!" And the best part? That wasn't even the first time she did that. The mentioned line came from 3.0+1.0, but she did that too in 3.0 with the, "At least save the Princess!" line (although her tone was much more...pissed, like she was really angry lol)

Remember the crush Asuka had on Shinji? Well due to the Unit 03 incident a whole lot of other shit got mixed into that and her feelings for him in general became really bitter (understandably so). Now Mari being who she is sometimes teases Asuka about said old crush but she really does want Asuka to get closure and sort that mess out. 

As an example for the teasing, in 3.0 there's a scene that goes like this (please imagine Mari with a literal :3 face while saying that):

"Unit! Are you back in the game?"

"I'm on it, your Highness. But first things first, how was our little puppy (Shinji)? Did he sit like a good little boy?"

"He's exactly the same! Same stupid face talking mayhem!"

"That goofy face of his, that's what you wanted to see? Riiiiight?"

"Shut up! I went there to bat him one!... And I feel better!"

There's also a very short bonus manga that was released in Japan for Thrice Upon a Time's release that has Mari trying to convince Asuka to come with her on the mission to get Shinji, given everything that follows, it's just another thing to prove my point. And the final bit relating to that is this:

"Feeling better now?"

"Yeah, I do feel better."

That's the exchange Asuka and Mari have after they talked to Shinji, it's nothing special but I think it's really sweet and this time Asuka actually sounded like she was feeling better instead of when she was screaming after she nearly broke pretty thick glass with her fist (If she had hit someone with that much force she definitely would've broken something omggg #violentimpulsesgang)

To get back on track though: I already mentioned it but during the second half of 3.0+1.0 Asuka "dies" (and honestly that entire scene is worth its own in-depth post because its just one huge parallel to The End of Evangelion), the point is: You can tell that the loss of Asuka honestly hits Mari hard. Not only because of how Mari screams Asuka's name but also because of her expressions. They're pained, like really fucking pained and Mari even apologizes to her that she has to fall back due to the fact that she's injured AND because eveything is going wrong.

After the events of Evangelion 3.0 these two got seperated from eachother, Mari was with WILLE (the organization both of them are with) and on board of Wunder (the ship WILLE basically operates from) while Asuka was in a Village full of (Near) Third Impact Survivors. When they do meet again it went like this:

Asuka, barely back, comes to the door and calls, "I'm back." And within seconds of Asuka stepping into their room after the door opens Mari already runs towards her, arms wide open and she says, "Welcome back, your Highness! Good job. I missed you so much!" And she says that while she literally nuzzles into Asuka,,,like,,,what the fuck gay people real!!! 

Best part? Asuka clearly has enough strength to push Mari completely away if she were uncomfortable, but she doesn't. Asuka merely wanted enough space to look at the room (because Mari managed to horde even more books lol) and play her game. During their entire renunion Mari keeps hugging her, and part of me thinks that perhaps deep down Asuka actually enjoys the feeling of physical affection.

Before we get to the last point though, let me say that Asuka and Mari have scenes in 3.0+1.0 that parallel Shinji and Kaworu's from 3.0. (Fyi Kaworu loves Shinji (yeah, like that, and 3.0 was basically them being gay as fuck for an hour) so like...do I even need to explain? 

And then of course there's also this, the "Take care of yourself, Princess…" line. That is the last time Mari talks to Asuka and as much as that line alone already is so much, it's Mari's expression in particular that kills me. Because this? This soft, almost bittersweet expression she has, as she basically says goodbye? Because she knows Asuka will finally be happy and safe? It just makes me feel so much actually. Man.

In the end it's a fact that Mari loved Asuka, wether that is interpreted as platonic or romantic by someone is up to them. But it is a fact that Asuka was loved enough that someone wanted to hug her, was happy to see her, to praise her, was hurt by her loss, wanted her to be safe, that someone told her "Take care of yourself…" Asuka was really and honestly so loved that someone would tell her, "I missed you."

But Asuka? Asuka was too hurt, too wrapped up in her own head to actually see how loved she was by Mari (and other people) that she genuinely believed she's completely alone and always will be alone.

It makes the "Take care of yourself" line hit even harder to me, because it's not only Mari's goodbye, but it's a goodbye during the one time Asuka allowed herself to be vulnerable and admit what she really wanted.

And honestly? All of this? Its makes me feel so many things and I just love them  so much man.

[seancekitsch]

Out of the Rain: a Marko x Reader fic

Warnings: bloodplay goes without saying bc vamp, rough sex, dirty talk, semi public sex, telepathy?? me projecting my music taste on this fic again. drug use, fast and loose use of vampire lore bc when i write i am god and u cannot stop me. also can u tell i have like…. v clear descriptions of the setting like i used to work at the place im describing but its not in california

No one had come in for hours. What's the point of staying open? You dim some of the lights in the store, which is one of three head shops in Santa Carla, but the only one open late. You're not really sure why this is the only store that stays open, why everyone else if worried about the three am walk back to their car on a weekend night. You've never seen anything of suspicion, just sometimes that biker gang watches people shuffle out. That was almost comforting, though. People didn't like those guys, so no one would make you use your switchblade if they were around.

The bright while fluorescent lights of your typical daytime ambiance faded away, and now green light bathes you in the “mood” lighting your boss thought was a good idea. The green lighting reflects off of the glass counters, shining it back at the ceiling and making everything that much more green. It fits, you think with the overall vibe of the store. The stale scent of weed, gently and miserably covered up by some nag champa incense, always burning in at least four different spots within the store. You'd long since gotten used to the smoke in your eyes. The music does everything to add to the ambiance. You always have full control of the music in the shop, usually because no one else is willing to take the night shift in Santa Carla. In fact, most of the boardwalk shops had a revolving door of night shift workers. You never got why, something clearly spooks them that does not spook you. Whether that makes you brave or stupid, you dont know. Jefferson Airplane’s Surrealistic Pillow pumps through the speakers in the store. But I suppose no one knows, you're my plastic fantastic lover.

The rain batters the boardwalk outside, a roar much different than the typical hustle and bustle of drunk teens, of the cliques and crews that come in and out; the few that sit and snicker in the doorway, never entering. Some too afraid to be associated with the implication of being spotted in the shop. We sell jewelry and vinyl too, you always say, when they balk at the idea of being in the same room as a bong or incense.

But then there's the other group that stands and idles in the threshold, also not entering. It's that biker gang. Four guys, a girl, a kid. Maybe he’s the brat of the girl and the one who takes himself too seriously, but maybe not. She looks too young for that. They'd been hovering around quite a bit lately, always after dark. You’d spoken to them, at least the ones that are talkative. The hair metal wannabe and the cute short one. Paul and Marko. You knew the dark haired one was Dwayne, but all he ever offered you was a curt nod and a tight lipped smile, respectful but indifferent. They're nice, not worth the spooky reputation they have. Any time it's not just you at the shop, your boss tries to spook them away. Good thing your boss isn't here tonight, because one of them is prowling around the storefront in the rain. That is, if it's not your spliff induced haze playing tricks on you.

No, one of them is out there. Without his little pack. The cute one. Marko.

You walk over to the door, which you haven't had propped open since the rain trickled in as a drizzle at the beginning of your shift. At least he had enough sense to be huddling under the awning. Fuck, he’s handsome even when he looks like a drowned rat.

“What are you doing out here?” You scrunch up your nose as you ask.

“Y’know, waiting for you to show up.” Wanted a look at that cute ass.

You blink at him. Did he really just say that?

“Okay… well, you know it's raining out there, right?”

“I might,” he offers noncommittally, eyeing the spliff still in the hand that's not holding the door. If it were anyone but him, you'd probably get fired for it.

Why is he just hanging around out here? That's hella weird. His curls are getting matted to his forehead, slick with rain, his jacket starting to look a little sad.

“C’mon in, Marko. It’s too wet out here. You’ll fuck up your jacket.” You nod towards the interior of the shop holding the door open as he passes you.

Wrong move, sweet cheeks.

“What did you say?” What did he mean, wrong move?

“I didn't say anything,” he offers nonchalantly as he thumbs at one of the tapestries on the wall. A garish mess that’s supposed to be the worm from Alice in Wonderland, but it’s distorted by a botched tie dye job of dark muddy colors. Every time you look at it, you assume one of the day workers did it.

“No, you said something.”

“Do you want me to say something?” there's both a threat and an innuendo in his tone. Maybe you do, but you just laugh, a sharp exhale through your nose, and bring the spliff to your lips again as he follows you deeper into the store.

You jump up onto the counter next to the ash tray, easy reach for each time you need to ash.

“So why are you really here?” your eyes narrow at him, kicking your sandal off on the floor where it lands a few inches from his boots. He looks uneasy in the space, like for all the wild shit you assume he’s into, he might not actually belong in it. He sways a little to the music, perfectly in tune with the rhythm. You sway along too, and suddenly he fills the space like he belongs. He just needed someone along for the ride with him.

“Do you ever come around during the day, or just at night because I’m so fun?” You’re teasing him, but it’s a nice easy feeling between you.

“Not really a sun guy,” bullshit, he would look beautiful with a tan, “but I do drag everyone here just to see you.”

“Awww, all for me? Do you have a crush, Marko?”

It’s more than that. You hear the words clearly, but his smile doesn’t move. You kick the other sandal off.

“I can hear you, I don’t know how, but I can. I bet you can hear me too.”

I can. You’re wrong about the tan thing.

You straighten up, mind clearing as you blurt out your next question. Something absolutely stupid.

“So what are you, a vampire or something?” he laughs at you, but his big toothy smile doesn't reach his eyes. No, there's something predatory, extremely dark in his eyes. Otherworldly.

How could you guess?  

“Well, that for one big fucking clue.” You ash the spliff for the final time, leaving the roach in the tray. You would think you’d be more surprised, more upset that you just found out vampires were real, and that you were in the same room as one. You have to say, weirder things are probably afoot in Santa Carla. Murder capital of the world can’t all be from some rowdy teens and a ten year old.

“You do those surf nazis?” is all that leaves your mouth. You kind of hope it was. They were the fucking worst. Racist, misogynistic, destructive. You’d had to threaten them a few times to leave your store on your shift.

“The—? Oh! Surf nazis. Yeah that was us. Ate a few of them.”

“Good for you. I mean— murder. bad. But they were nazis, and now they’re dead. so…” you trail off. Not really sure what to say next, but then you keep going. Remember everything you know about Marko.

“No, no I mean, it makes sense. Right? You and the guys only hang around at night. Aren’t vampires solitary hunters though? I don’t remember Dracula being in a frat.”

“They’re my pack. We take care of each other.” He says it with such fondness and devotion.

You feel a pang of jealousy run through you. You work alone for the most part, live alone, you’ve got friends but they’re all over the place. He belongs to something.

“And you're down with this?” he’s legitimately asking. You nod. You don't really have a choice, you're down or you get eaten, but like genuinely you are down with it. If he was going to eat you, he probably would have by now. There's probably a reason they've been hanging around the store, and in your sightline while you close up. You're putting things together.

“Like really?”

“Well, you haven't made me a kebab yet.”

He shrugs, frowns.

“Could still skewer you on something.”

Laughter erupts from your lips while you roll your eyes, music to Marko’s ears. This is why he took a shine to you, it's easy to get along with you, and you're not one of his brothers.

Something heavy falls in the room, and it's not the haze of the incense. He steps towards you, big blue eyes raking over your body, but always coming back to meet your gaze. He closes the space between you, easily fitting between your thighs; the rough patches of his jacket brushing against your bare skin where your shorts ride up. He leans in, like he's about to kiss you, and against all better judgement, you're going to let him.

You're going to let him.

The record skips. He holds out his hand, more like a gentleman than a biker gang killer, and helps you off the counter.

“Hold on, let me pick out a new record,” you turn without waiting for his confirmation, not at all surprised when Marko follows hot on your heels to the back room. Your boss’ office, the record room. Whatever you wanted to call it. His hands ghost over your arms as you push past the wooden bead curtain to enter the room. You can feel his presence close enough to touch. That's it, right where I want you. There’s his voice again.

He lets you actually pick out a new record. You slide it out of the sleeve and walk it over to the player. The static buzzes and pops as the needle finds the groove.

“Ocean Rain, you heard it?” No. He shakes his head, and you can feel it as he leans into your back.

“Echo and the Bunnymen. They've got a new album coming out this year.”

You turn to face him and his fingerless leather glove clad hands cover your cheeks.

He kisses you gently, tenderly. Not at all the way you’d expect. He’s eager, kissing like there’s something to prove. He licks his way into your mouth, tongue pushing your lips apart and you let him. His arms tighten around you as you kiss, tongues now greeting each other playfully. Your tongue explores his mouth, running along each and every tooth in his mouth. Huh, no fangs, you realize, and maybe he isn't actually a vampire. As if he reads your mind (maybe he does), he pulls away.

“They're, uh, hiding,’ he nods, almost to himself more than you. You nod as well, slow and uneasy, not quite believing him, but he pulls you back into a harsh kiss, more of what you expected. His hands roam your body as yours bury themselves in his curls. Still damp, but long and beautiful just as well. He shrugs the jacket off his shoulders, and his hands only briefly leave you to throw it and his gloves somewhere else, leaving him just in a thin white tank top. His mouth leaves yours to trail lower, kissing your neck. Your pulse point. Fucking irresistable. No, that's definitely his voice. Is this the end? Could be.

“I can smell you, hot stuff,” he moans into your ear, sending shivers down your spine. You find yourself gripping onto his shoulders a little tighter, but he lets you sink. He guides you, again more gently than you thought he would; bare knees brushing the threadbare carpet floor before you plant yourself. You look up at him through your lashes and he all but bites back a groan.

“You gonna join me down here?” You lick your lips, waiting for something.

“Nah, I’m gonna let you have a head start,” there's a joke in his tone. You're learning that’s normal for him. He’s silent, or playing jester. It’ll be interesting when you let him fuck you. Shit, did he hear that?

“Quit thinkin’ so loud!” he runs an affectionate hand through your hair. “But yes, I heard you. Glad you're as eager as I am.”

That's encouraging. You take your time undoing his belt, connected to faded and soft leather chaps, not bothering to push them down his thighs before you move to the top of his jeans, teasing your fingers at the skin just above the waistline. He shudders under your touch, extremely reactive. Does he get touched like this often? Or is it just quick fucks? You don't want to think about who else he might be doing this with, focusing again on his body, and all of the offending clothing covering it. You unbutton them slowly, teasing. For a member of the undead, he seems to be out of breath under your movements. The zipper is pulled down just as slowly. You run your palms flat along the bottom of his stomach, to his hips before pushing his jeans down to around his ankles, hooking his boxers on your finger along with them. He’s beautiful, and you can help but stare. Hard, eager, and thick, greeting you with a small trimmed patch of golden blonde curls. You wrap your hand around the base.

You never expected a vampire to whimper, but that's exactly what happens when your tongue darts out of your mouth to lick the head of his cock. Quick, tentative little lick, testing the waters. Your tongue swipes across the slit at the tip of his thick member and his hands animate like you flipped a switch, rising up, going to your hair, rising up again, slamming down against the desk. Your boss’ desk. You lick a long stripe to the underside of his cock, paying close attention to the prominent vein there.

“So good, so good, oh you feel so-” he pants out, hands white knuckling the edge of the desk. Heat pools in your core, loving that he’s so vocal. Fuck, if he could just keep speaking. Your other hand moves to your shorts, sloppily and hastily undoing them and wiggling them down to your knees. You wrap your lips around the head of his cock and sink down on it, taking him as far as you can, until you couch when he hits the back of your throat.

“You look fucking beautiful like that. Please move, Please move, you’re so fucking good at this.”

You do, starting to bob your head up and down on the length of him, hollowing out your cheeks and flattening your tongue against him, cupping and massaging his balls in your hand. Your free finds itself between your legs, rubbing gently at your clit, stirred and encouraged by his praise.

“Does sucking me off get you hot and bothered?” Yesitdoes.

You keep bobbing your head, rubbing your clit, eyes trained on his until his eyes squeeze shut. His cock twitches in your mouth.

“Don't wanna- don't wanna finish in your mouth,” he’s urgent, grabbing you by the chin and pulling your mouth off of his cock. He pushes you back by your shoulders, letting you guide yourself back to lay on the rug. He pulls your loose shorts easily off your legs and settles himself between your legs, too eager to bother with removing his boots and everything.

“I’ve been wanting to do this for so long. Do you know how bad I wanted this?”

“Fuck me, Marko, dont say it. Just do it,” youre breathless under him, wanting nothing more than for him to be fucking you. He pauses.

“I dunno…” his thumb swipes up along your clit, drawing a whine from your throat, “For some reason I think you like it when I say things.”

You nod, knowing words will fail you. And he gives you what you want, lining himself up and sinking into you, groaning as he buries his head into the crook of your neck.

“Oh I knew your pussy would feel like fucking heaven,” he pants against your neck, pressing a harsh kiss to the underside of your jaw. He sets the pace quickly, unmerciful and fast, fucking hard and deep into you. His hands push up your thin tee shirt, and you can feel his sigh of relief when he gets a handful of bare breast. He doesn't have to deal with a bra tonight. You hike your knees up, opening yourself as much as you can to him, wanting him to fill you to the brim. He looks into your eyes while he fucks you, which comes as a surprise to you. Maybe it shouldn't. You wonder what it would be like to be a victim of his. Does he treat them well? Have fun with them like this? Or is he vicious? You don't know if you could picture him like that… vamped out.

“What does it feel like?”

“What?” he thrusts sharply, snapping his hips into you, making you yelp.

“To be fed on, but not to die.”

Are you serious? You hear him in your head.

YesIam. He thrusts like that again, earning an identical yelp, now coupled with your thighs squeezing him around the middle. You're close already, and he can tell.

He nods, a question; You nod, confirmation.

He pulls at the neckline of your shirt, already scooping so it doesn’t ruin, and exposes your shoulder. Somewhere non lethal. His other hand comes up to grip your jaw, covering your neck but being careful not to squeeze it. You hope he bruises your jaw, you realize. A physical way to feel him when dawn comes. He slows his pace to a rocking, grinding into you, staying deep.

Then he bites. Stars erupt behind your eyes, and it feels like your blood has turned to seltzer. Every nerve in your body is in overdrive as you moan and shake and come undone around his cock. You're the kind of girl that comes from the bite of a vampire, apparently. He doesn’t let up. You can faintly hear him moaning against the open wound in your shoulder, and you hope you taste good to him. He licks the wound a few times more, softly, carefully, like he’s trying to soothe you when he finally lets you come down from your high.

When he pulls back to let you see him, his features are gruesome, full vampire with sharp brows and cheekbones, pointed nose even that much more so almost birdlike. Fangs and bottom half of his face covered in blood.Your blood.  He’s panting like an animal after the kill. But he doesn't scare you. Maybe he should, but he doesn't.  It's just Marko, no matter what, and if he wanted to eat you he would have. Several times now. His hand finally releases your jaw, to wipe the blood from his face. He wipes his hand then on your face, covering you in your own blood, hot on his fingers and palm.

“Fuckin sexy,” he pants, voice deeper and distorted. His thrusts speed up, trying to find his own release as your nails dig into his back, maybe making him bleed as well. You feel the rug burn forming on your back, you feel tears in your eyes. It's never felt this good with other guys.

When he comes, he comes with a howl, buried deep inside you as he shouts and shivers then stills above you. Your chest is heaving, trying to regain yourself as his face slowly fades to normal, and he slumps down on top of you. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, near the wound he tore open, now no longer bleeding. He mouths at any bare skin he can find, lazy half kisses as he spreads more mess and blood on you. Your fingers find his curls again, winding them around your digits as you stare up at the sickly green mood lighting bathing the walls of the room.

An hour later, Marko is helping you lock up early.

He makes sure to dump out all of the ashes from spliffs and incense, makes sure the vinyl is all in its right place while you make sure the register and inventory is all in its rightful place and order.

“You’re dangerous, you know.”

“Me?” you scoff, “That rich, coming from you.”

I’d do a lot of things I’m not supposed to for you. You kinda don't want to ask him what he means by that. For some reason that feels like a conversation you shouldn't have tonight. 

He leaves the store before you, holding the door open for you and letting you lock the doors. He slings an easy arm over your shoulder, not bothering to shield either of you from the rain as he steers you towards your car. You can feel the rain cleaning your face, the blood flowing away and saving you the shower you were going to take before collapsing into bed tonight.

“Where’s your bike?”

“I flew here,” he says with that devilish smile, and you're really not sure if he's joking or not. Your arm sneaks its way into his jacket and wraps around his waist, holding him close as he makes sure you get home same. Marko makes you feel calm, in a way you didn't feel before you moved to Santa Carla. How long had he been waiting to make his move? And does this mean he and his brothers would be coming around more often? Maybe being more friendly towards you. Each step towards your car feels heavy; You don't want to go home alone without him, but somehow you know he won't come with you. 

“Will I see you again?”

He grabs your car keys from your hand, and sticks them in the door handle. Of course you will.

Right. You just have to be near the beach at night. You know, where you work.

He kisses you full on the mouth, holding you close and tight, like you could slip away at any second. When he finally lets you go you pull away to be met with his face, full on grinning, his eyes still closed from the kiss. He doesn't look like a killer.

Marko watches you as you pull open the door to your car and more or less throw your ass into the seat.  He holds the door as he gives you one last smile, and says:

“You know, you should never invite a vampire into your life. Renders you powerless.”

And he winks. 

[flamingo-writes]

Vast Ocean — Jotaro x Reader

With this, I declare the Jojo's Bizarre Adventures a fandom I write for 🤘 by posting a series of headcanons bcs I'm too lazy to write an actual fic about this.

Vast Ocean: Jotaro falling in love with one of the Crusaders (female!Reader)

Warnings: mentions of underage drinking

Jotaro met you along with Avdol when the three of you bailed him out of jail.

Despite the first impression he left when you met in jail, you were completely unbothered and didn't really mind his cold attitude.

"You're not a bad guy, I bet you're just a big tsundere" you joked as Jotaro simply glared at you with eyes like guns as you laughed.

"Why is a tiny girl traveling with us in the first place?" Jotaro asked Joseph. ("I am not tiny, its not my fault youre so fucking big, asshole!")

"She's your age. And her stand is pretty strong" Avdol explained.

(Your stand is a couple of orcas, one of them with the colors reverted. Your stand name is The Killers, bwahaha see what I did there?)

You were naturally flirty and easy going, but when you noticed how Jotaro got so frustrated with your flirting, you began flirting with him even more just to piss him off

Polnareff started a bet with everyone else to see how long it would take the both of you to develop feelings for each other.

When Jotaro understood your flirting was just to mess with him, he started being more easy going and not being bothered by it, knowing it was going to piss you off instead.

You liked to play with your stand, just have both your orcas swim around you midair.

One time, while staying at a hotel on your way to Egypt, you took a well deserved break and went to the swimming pool to chill and play with your stand.

At the same time, Kakyoin and Jotaro had the same idea and found you in the pool having fun.

Since Jotaro and you had this habit of messing with each other, he used Star Plat to splash water at you. And soon, you two started fighting/playing, splashing water at each other. ("You're going to soak my clothes, yare yare, why do you have to be so childish?" "You started it! Also, why are you here in your regular clothes instead of a swimming suit? If anything, its your iwn fault!")

Kakyoin felt like the third wheel and when you less expected it, he left the pool and it was just you and Jotaro bickering.

After a few minutes of silence, you started talking about how cool orcas are. And how you started researching about them after getting your stand.

"Did you know orcas are a kind of dolphin and not whales?" You told Jotaro, catching his attention and he proceeded to ask questions about orcas.

(That day you learned one of Jotaros favorite classes was biology)

Since then, instead of bickering with each other, The Killers and Star Plat would play whenever you two got bored.

Jotaro liked watching your orcas swim in the air as much as you did, but he would never admit it out loud.

Star Plat loved petting The Killers, and you knew Jotaro did too since Star Plat is a projection of his soul.

You noticed Star Plat get progressively protective of you,  despite The Killers being strong enough to keep you safe.

Not just you, everyone else noticed

Joseph is excited because he's gonna win the poll

While on the road, you fell asleep on Jotaro's shoulder. And even when Polnareff pointed it out, Jotaro blushed a bit and said it was a rather annoying situation. But what he found annoying was his heart rate going wild over something as small as you falling asleep on his shoulder.

One night, at another nice hotel (brought to you by Speed Wagons endless bank account) you break in in Jotaro's room with movies and snacks.

"Cant you see I'm trying to sleep?" "Awh, come on! All we did was sleep on the way here!"

You two watched cowboy movies while snacking and drinking beer you managed to sneak in.

You know how sometimes beer makes you sleepy? Yes, you two fell asleep. You woke up in the middle of thr night while Jotaro was still asleep, in opposite ends of the bed. But your repressed crush on him urged you to snuggle next to him.

When Jotaro woke up, he blushed at the sight of you deeply asleep next to him. He felt star plat hit him gently on the back with his elbow. And so, Jotaro "hesitantly" snuggled next to you, wrapping an arm around your waist, spooning you.

The both of you woke up to Joseph knocking on Jotaro's door.

"Jotaro! Open up! [Name] isn't in her room!"

When Jotaro opened the door, the entire gang saw you in Jotaro's bed, your entire face bright red.

"What is this?" Joseph asked alarmed.

"We were watching cowboy movies" Jotaro said.

"At 7 am?"

"Last night" you said. "And...I fell asleep..." you admitted ashamed.

"Ohohoho..." Polnareff giggled.

Jotaro was not amused.

The rest of the day, neither of you talked to each other, nor made eye contact.

Still The Killers and Star Plat interacted and played with each other.

After the fight with Dio, and after Joseph spending a night at the hospital under observation because of everything that had happened, Jotaro checked up on you.

You weren't injured, just had a few cuts here and there and a sprained ankle.

"Ah, the hero!" You greeted him.

"How are you?" "The doc says in a couple of weeks I'm gonna be as good as new"

"Thank you, Jotaro" "hm?" "You stopped Dio...You saved your mom, Joseph...all of us" "Not all of us" Jotaro hissed, pulling down his cap.

You kissed his cheek, upon seeing him beat himself up upon the memories of Avdol, Kakyoin and Iggy.

He was taken by surprise and you noticed a soft shade of pink on his cheeks.

"I...Listen, I'm pretty sure you know this by now, I mean, everyone does...but I still feel like I have to say it, okay? And please, don't laugh at me..." You said

"hm" Jotaro chuckled. "I like you too, dumbass"

"Why are you calling me a dumbass? What did I do now?"

"You're always a dumbass" Jotaro joked before bumping his forehead with yours and closing his eyes.

You knew Jotaro wasn't going to do it himself, so instead, you stood on your tip toes, ignoring the pain in your ankle, and pecked his lips gently.

He kept his hands in his pockets, but kissed you back immediately, locking lips in a brief and shy kiss.

Polnareff saw everything. And in the end, it was Kakyoin who had betted the two f you would've fallen in love by the end of the mission

It took Jotaro a while before calling you his girlfriend, even though you two had been practically dating for almost a month.

Jotaro was definitely not a guy who enjoyed PDA, but when the two of you were alone, he'd play with your fingers, run his hand through your hair, and even pull you into his lap while making out.

Most of the PDA actually came from Star Plat, since barely anyone could see Star Plat holding your pinky or holding you or playing with your hair.

Star Plat is baby, I dont make the rules

Bonus: You two make research together on marine biology because you're both nerds like that.

[thistle-01]

Just another CHCH idea // TW: passive death wish, aka suicidal ideation

Modern day AU where it wasn’t Harris village that was razed to the ground it was Choi Han’s entire family and because the fire was a freak accident, no one’s fault, CH falls deeper and deeper into himself, no outlet. He becomes severely depressed but can’t picture himself actively offing himself so he just trudges through each day, unable to die, unable to live.

He doesn’t care when the guy next door to his new place moves out.

Doesn't care when someone else moves in.

He does care when the muffled wails of a baby keep him from sleep for three nights in a row, and he bangs on the wall, sleep deprived and pissy.

After a moment the person on the other side of the wall bangs back, making Choi Han glare incredulously at the wall, but he decides to let it go.

New kid, new parent. He used to take care of his little cousins so he knows how difficult it can be. He remembers the colic, he remembers the spit ups and giggles and laughing as they sat around for dinne—

He realizes that the new guy moving in may affect him more than he initially realized.

Morning comes and goes and CH gets ready for work.

Before the fire he’d been planning to take up bodyguarding as an occupation, it seemed like it suited him, it felt right. Without the training which he couldn’t afford due to obvious reasons though no one would hire him, so he turned to gym training. He’s a personal trainer.

He fetches his bag and fetches his towels and he’s about to leave his apartment when there’s a ding on his intercom.

When he looks through the screen there’s a person who’s unfamiliar but he was gonna leave anyway so he just meets them at the door.

”What is it?”

The person looks surprised when he sees Choi Han standing there and CH knows it’s because he’s kind of tall and imposing.

He doesn’t do anything to make them more comfortable though, he’s on a timer, and the guy just stammers, makes him sign to receive a package which CH does bc again no time to argue that he hasn’t ordered anything.

It’s only at the gym that he finds a break to open the package, it’s addressed to him with his apartment number, no name. Inside he finds a fucking fruit basket and a note:

Should have written this earlier but I have a newborn. It may get loud. Apologies for the inconvenience.

TBC

- CH resigned to suffer through baby

- CH reliving his most painful memories again bc baby

- guy next door’s little gifts being about the only thing that keeps him from just upping and moving but some of the stuff he gets are damn nice and maybe sort of worth it? Maybe

- guy next door always attaching little notes to his gifts

- guy next door‘s notes sometimes being sarcastic and witty, and sometimes kind of rude but also funny

- CH replying to one and attaching it to guy next door’s door on a whim

- guy next door attaching a phone number to his next gift

- CH texting guy next door bc why not if he’s some kind of serial killer maybe he’ll—

- CH and guy next door exchanging texts

- texts starting off irregular, stilted, but eventually they increase without them even recognizing that they do because apparently they’re both lonely fucks who have no real friends but a lot on their chests

- guy next door still being guy next door, literally that’s the name attached to the contact in CH’s phone bc out of some silent agreement they still haven’t exchanged names

- CH telling guy next door about the fire

- guy next door telling CH about his family (they’re dead too, only his son left and even then he’s apparently adopted)

- CH having a bad day at work and seriously considering suicide. there had been multiple factors, but the worst was probably it being 5/5, children’s day and a bunch of families gathering in the park right in front of the gym. They looked happy. CH remembered being that happy.

- CH holding a knife in his hand and surrounded by alcohol but on a whim - he seems to have a lot of those - texting guy next door

- CH telling himself if guy next door doesn’t reply within the next twenty minutes it will be a sign but guy next door replying instantly

- CH calling guy

- “How’s your son?” “He’s fine?” “…remember to love him as much as possible.” “Is something wrong? You sound off,”

- CH gripping the knife in his hand

- CH letting go

- CH sobbing wetly into the phone with a call to the guy whose name he doesn’t even fucking know but somehow relying on him anyway. He doesn’t know how this happened. How did this happen?

- CH telling guy everything and after a loaded silence guy asking CH like he’s about to break, like he’s fragile, whether he wants to come over, in fact just do it I’ll be home soon

- CH numbly collecting himself and somehow dressing himself with minimal effort and opening the door to walk over to his place

- CH finding a man standing in front of the door next to his, who’s stunning through the tears in his eyes but he doesn’t care too much about that - does he? - because he feels so shitty

- guy, who’s apparently a slightly scarred but handsome enough to be a model type of guy, and despite CH expecting the same subtle pity and concern he’d heard over the phone, greeting him blandly and ordering CH to come in like he’s discussing a fucking history book

- guy being named KRS

- CH being named, well, CH

- CH marinating in his own depression after the shock of guy - no, KRS’s physical form has worn out

- KRS looking at him with an unidentifiable expression

- KRS appearing to think for a minute and then leaving the room and CH dimly hears him opening a door but he’s too spent to hear much more than that

- KRS returning and CH meaning to look up but before he can something warm and squirming and kind of squishy is plopped into his lap

- “this is the terror I told you about. Say hello Raon.”

- Raon being the cutest fucking baby CH has ever seen aside from his cousins and baby sibling

- Raon giggling and squealing with laughter and clutching CH like there isn’t a single good reason he shouldn’t trust CH when in about a second CH can list at least five

- CH being unable to do anything but curl his hands reflexively around warm baby because of said giggling and squealing and clutching

- CH mumbling his concern that baby is too open to strangers despite knowing that at this age it’s perfectly natural

- KRS replying that Raon is a better judge of character than him and wrapping something around CH’s shoulders before turning on a giant ass TV

- KRS and CH and a drooling happy Raon watching Disney movies

- CH unintentionally spending the night bc he fell asleep to Alice in wonderland songs and woke up smelling traditional Korean food and the tunes of soft jazz on a radio

- ”are you hungry?” and CH unable to pull away bc he’s still kind of fragile and tender feeling and the baby is thankfully gone now but nope he’s sitting in his high chair and there’s good food on a table and KRS is looking blandly at him with his good looks and invisible kindness and CH is only human

- CH leaving the next morning before KRS is awake but KRS pretending to sleep so he doesn‘t pressure him

- KRS thinking he’s really dodged a bullet, humans are so much work, he just wants to slack-

- CH going home and putting the knife still on the floor back into its shelf and cleaning his place top to bottom on a sudden urge to be productive

- KRS and CH going back to texts and an occasional phone call like before

- KRS and CH’s interactions being different from before though in that when Raon cries through the wall CH plays baby shark or soft jazz and baby’s cries turns to coos and KRS sends him another basket in the morning

- KRS and CH somehow seeing each other more often

- KRS and CH greeting each other on the elevator

- CH deciding to see a psychiatrist

- KRS driving him to his first appointment

- “have fun.” “this is supposed to be fun?” “For me it is, I finally get a break from you and your drama,” and CH seeing right through KRS and taking a chance and reaching over to squeeze KRS’s hand on the gear

- “thanks,” and KRS looking bland but with a twist of a smile as CH heads in and watching him go

- CH making progress

- CH taking antidepressants and settling down after a month and he doesn’t have relapses for a year and decides to finally put an end to the fragile push and pull he and KRS have been dancing around all this time

- CH inviting him over for dinner

- CH making all the preparations, smiling to himself at providing for KRS this time, excited kind of at the thought that he’s going to put That Smile on KRS’ face and the doorbell ringing

- CH saying hi and KRS looking at him with an unreadable expression for a second before there’s a warmth at his lips and then it’s gone

- “took you long enough,” and CH knows KRS doesn’t mean it bc he’s looking at him quietly and like he’s quietly proud and there’s a soft, reserved sort of affection lining his smile and CH just wants to hold him forever, never let go

- so he does

- over the years they have their ups and downs, with KRS’s own emotional baggage, and CH‘s depression, and Raon grows up and demands more siblings and they decide, yeah look it’s time to get hitched here’s the ring

- they live happily ever after

the end