#its scary and it might actually not gain any reaction and maybe today its not a good day for it but

[raksh-writes]

<beware, self reflection post incoming>

So. This year has been a tough one.

Feels like it has been tougher than all of those before, ngl, but it's hard to tell how much of it is skeved memory and how much just how strong those feelings are today. But it has been an awful year -- the first half was kind of alright, but the second? Yeah, everything went downhill there.

I slid into one of the worst depression holes ever. I quit my job two months ago, because it has been contributing strongly to that, but remained unemployed and stressed out of my mind because of that and feeling completely listless since. Unmoored. With no purpose whatsoever. It's... not a good place to be. On top of that, I got real sick with covid this week and barely started feeling somewhat better today. Guess it's a suficiently shitty end to an awful year, huh? What hurts, too, is the heart breaking writer's block I got in that second half of the year too.

I wrote barely anything this year, posted even less. Got very disconnected from that part of myself that carried me through the rough times of the previous years -- and maybe that's why it feels worse than ever now, when I had at least that joy back then but it feels like it's been taken from me. It's... rough.

I've always been in the middle of something before too. Always going back to classes, to uni, got a job last year, but now? Well...

I did start taking steps to crawl back to life. Trying to at least. Baby steps.

So, I wanna make a list of those baby steps. The ones Ive already started taking, the ones Im gonna soon, the ones I wanna try to make. Make a path out of them, maybe. So:

Im back to therapy, that's good. Working through new and old stuff, it's definitely helping, but... there's a lot more to work through than I imagined. It's okay, though. I can already tell some of it helped, it's been a good helping hand in digging myself out of this hole - or at least starting to dig myself out.

Im also starting an internship at the job office on monday (hopefully most of my symptoms are gonna be gone by then 🤞). It's a 6 months one, not as well paid as a full job, of course, but it's experience, it's a start, and I can always search for smth different in the meantime. And it's stability a dearly need.

I want to go back to studying too. I found I miss it a lot, having that goal, broadening my mind, etc. I wanna sign for some post-diploma library studies classes in the city where I intern, near where I live. It might not open up, but if it doesn’t, I think I'll try going back for actual Masters. It's something Im actually sort of looking forward too, even if it makes me a lil' anxious.

Been idly thinking about maybe going back to the city. Trying to live on my own again. Study, find a job to pay for it. Might not be quite possible, though, with prices of pretty much everything going up to 3x what they were and still going up. It's an idea for the later part of the year, though, if Id actually try going for it.

Maybe the most obvious one -- I want to write again. And post, too. I miss interacting with readers. Seeing that someone Gets it. That it brings people joy. I miss it a lot. These last months, even if I managed to write a little, I didn't even had the drive to post. No drive for anything, really. Feels like death to a creative soul 😔 So I want to write. And I want to share it. Im still thinking of my Beauty and the Beast Voiles AU -- I have a couple chapters of it done, maybe I could start posting and see where it goes, even if I dont manage to finish it? Then I got obsessed with VegasPete, an amazing ship I recommend to all that like Voiles or just enemies to lovers! I even managed to write some lil bits of them, some I Could post even, but I can’t get myself to... maybe it's a goal for the near future. To break through that block and engage with new fandom beyond just reading and commenting, but trying to contribute some of my own. It's scary, but it might do me good? It'd be nice..

I want to try and do more typesetting this year too, and properly, since Ive been thinking I could maybe do it part time in the future, do a project here and there, but for that I'd have to polish up my skills. Maybe do some smaller projects, that wont take me months to finish like the fics I did lately.

Have my eyes peeled for opportunities and have the courage to reach for them. I want to do library studies and Id love to work in a library one day, but its hard to get into one, so I gotta have my eyes open for any possibility. Or working in a book store, Id love that too. Anything with books, tbh. So, be on the look out. And work on having the courage to reach for it and battling down my anxiety.

Go out and meet with friends I haven't seen in a long time. I think Ive isolated myself a bit too much this year and it definitely hasn’t helped. So I need to try more to get out of the easy, lazy way and go out to meet people.

And that's it, for now, I think. Goals for the new year? Maybe, but being in the place I am, baby steps feel better. Im sure Im not the only one that had an awful year and if you're reading this, feeling the same, I see you. Can’t promise it's gonna get better, but we gotta have hope and try taking those baby steps towards making it better. So, Im not gonna go into elaborate wishes, Im just gonna be simple.

I wish you all good health, because it's so important and yet we don’t appreciate it enough, and also wish all of us courage, especially those struggling. To reach for what we want. To reach for what we fear. To get out of our comfort zones, one baby step at a time. To put ourselves out there. To win over our anxieties. To live.

Im slowly, very slowly, trying to take those baby steps. To crawl back to life. It's hard. And slow. But I hope it's gonna be worth it. It's gotta be better than the misery of last months. So, that's what I hope for in the next year. Taking the baby steps to a better future.

Happy New Year, everyone, and I hope y'all have a lovely last day of 2022 💗

[jettingtothemoon]

Count to Twenty

➳ pairing: midoriya izuku x reader ➳ genre: fluff if you squint, smut ➳ warnings: kinks, spanking, oral (male receiving), mentions of sex, dom/sub, midoriya being the little sub he is ➳ word count: 2563 ➳ rating: 18+ ➳ summary: In which midoriya unexpectedly moans when you slap his ass.

You'd been dating Izuku since about halfway through your first year at UA. Now in your third year, the two of you had been together for a good couple of years.

Obviously, your relationship with him had a slow start. Izuku was cute and, before high school, had certainly not gained much attention from any girls. Which is why he was so surprised when you confessed your feelings to him. You'd been good friends with him but as you got to know him more your feelings only grew into something different. Something more.

You only worked up the courage to tell him how you felt because he was once again at the centre of the danger, as always with him, and just thinking that something could happen to him without him knowing how you felt was scary. So, you told him and of course, he was a babbling mess. Face flushing cherry red, mumbling nonsense as he tried to come to terms with what you had told him.

Despite that, he managed to confess that he liked you too and so, you began dating.

Your first kiss wasn't until a good few weeks into the relationship, well, besides the cheek kisses he couldn't escape from.

Your first proper makeout wasn't until your second year. That was when your relationship started progressing and getting a little more physical.

The first time you had sex was a little into your third year and, as expected, Izuku was a lure sub. He needed you to walk him through it so that he knew he was doing it right.

That was just how Izuku was. When it came to girls and relationships he was pretty much clueless. However, it was like teaching a baby to walk and once he got the hang of things, although he was still a little clumsy, he was a fast learner.

Each stage of you physical relationship had taken so long to develop. He was just too innocent, it was adorable. However, once you started having sex it was almost like you couldn't stop. You were the one who initiated it ninety-five percent of the time but Izuku was never not up for it if you were. Despite that, he was still so cute and innocent with it. Blushing like crazy, being a little sweetheart and asking you if you felt good because that was what mattered.

It was always about you, always about how you felt and what you wanted.

That was why you hadn't expected him to let a moan slip past his lips when you cheekily slapped his ass. He was used to this kind of thing from you because you had always been more direct than him. Kissing him, cheekily placing a hand on his thigh under the table like that time he came for dinner with you and for parents. It was always you teasing him but this, this reaction was new.

Usually, Izuku would just blush, mumble and stutter like an idiot. Which really was so cute and exactly what he began to do as soon as he realised what he had just done.

The thing was, you weren't alone. You were in the common area of the dorm, a shared space between all students in your class. Although, thankfully, there were only a couple of other people here besides the two of you. However, from the sly glance you received from Todoroki and the almost flustered expression Iida was sporting, you had assumed they'd heard him.

"I- I, um- I'm going to go take a shower." Izuku stumbled over his words before rushing off towards his room.

After the initial shock had passed, you sighed and giggled quietly. This was going to be fun.

And so, you began to follow after your flustered boyfriend.

When you reached his room, you didn't bother to knock and just slipped in past the door to find him lying face down on his bed.

"Izuku?" You called out from where you stood, watching as he simply pushed his face further into his pillow.

You stepped forwards, slowly making your way over to the bed, "Did you just... moan when I slapped your ass?"

He huffed and rolled onto his side as if his soul had just left his body. He pulled his pillow along with him, tugging it to his chest as he curled himself up into a ball.

"N-No."

You raised an eyebrow, "Do you want me to do it again?"

The top half of his face, which wasn't quite covered by his pillow, only flushed more as he shook his head and stuttered again, "N-no. D-don't be ri-ridiculous."

You sighed and sat down on the side of the bed, combing your fingers through his broccoli coloured hair, "Izuku."

Although you had simply expected him to deny it again, he surprised you once again by slowly nodded his head.

"I-It felt kind of... good." He finally admitted, embracing the idea that just maybe it was okay to have liked the feeling of your smaller hand slapping his ass.

You leaned down, kissing his cheek reassuringly, "It's okay to like something like that you know. I'm not judging you. A spanking kink is actually way more common than you think."

Izuku sprung up, back as straight as a pencil, still tightly holding his pillow to his chest, "K-kink? I- I don't have anything like that!"

The tone of his voice alone betrayed him, not to mention the way his face only grew a darker shade of red. 

"Maybe it's just a pain kink but I can't imagine that little slap actually hurt all that much." You pondered, only flustering him more.

"P-Pain?"

"Well yeah, you do get beat up a lot. Maybe you've come to like it?" You giggled, teasing him admittedly a little more than necessary.

He finally pulled the pillow away from his face and instead opted for pushing it into his lap, "I don't like it! At least, not when I'm fighting."

As he spoke it was clear that even he was questioning things and trying to figure things out for himself, although you knew he was already most likely aware of how he felt about it all. He was always good at piecing things together.

"So?" You asked, leaning a head on his shoulder as he came to his decision.

That was how you ended up with him lying down over the edge of the bed with his naked ass in the air.

Before you could begin, he turned his head to you and tried to look for any sign that you were uncomfortable, "Are you sure about this?"

You simply nodded in reassurance, "This is the first time we've actually gone into kinks properly. If you want to try it then I do too."

"O-Okay then." His face flushed again before he hid it into the mattress as he awaited your start.

After Izuku admitted that he wanted to give it a go, you locked the door and told him what to do. When it came to kinks and things, you had your knowledge but it was all very much as new to you as it was him. Especially this particular kink, although you were not particularly surprised to find out that your boyfriend might actually have a spanking kink. It just seemed to fit with his personality.

Izuku lied there almost still except for the way he continued to shuffle ever so slightly in anticipation. He had told you that it was okay for you to do it in your time and that you don't have to if you're not comfortable with it. You had told him that this wasn't about you, this was about him and that he could tell you to stop at any point for whatever reason.

You could tell he was growing agitated waiting and so, you raised your hand before swinging it back down and hitting him. His whole body jolted even though you were sure to be careful because you wanted to start off soft and then slowly raise the intensity of each hit. You would have stopped there and then to ask if he was alright had he not moaned once again, this time much louder than in the common area.

And so, with a newfound rush of adrenaline coursing through your body, you raised your hand again before it came flying back down against Izuku's ass once more.

He groaned, fingers curling into the bedsheets as he waited for the next one and before long it came. This went on for a good few slaps before you started to understand what his preferences were. He seemed to like harder spanks but it still seemed that there was something missing. And so, you decided to try something.

"Izuku."

He groaned again when you said his name, pushing his ass higher as if begging you to hit it again.

"I want you to start counting each one, okay? If you can count twenty spanks I'll give you a treat, deal?"

Although you were somewhat unsure what his reaction would be, your boyfriend nodded and let out a somewhat shaky okay.

And so, your hand came back once again before crashing into his bare ass at its hardest pressure yet. Thankfully, Izuku moaned which only showed that you had not gone too far.

"O-One." He stuttered, hands gripping tighter onto the bedsheets as your hand pulled back again.

You made sure that each hit was harder than the last and watched as his cute little bum began to turn a light shade of red.

"Six."

He was enjoying it, that much you could tell.

"N-Nine."

It made you happy, seeing him enjoying something like this was nice. He always focused his attention on you and, although your sexual endeavours always wound up with both of you feeling good, it was nice to focus on him for once.

By the time you hit your tenth spank, Izuku was talking through gritted teeth. His knuckles had grown white from his tightly his fingers were holding onto the bedsheets.

"We're halfway, do you think you can get through the rest?" Izuku had grown much more comfortable with this as he grew to enjoy it even more and whatever doubt you thought you had about doing this was gone.

Although you were not sure if it was a good thing, it felt really good to be dominating over him like this. To watch him squirm on the bed in front of you, his cock clearly rubbing against the bed every time your hand collided with his ass. It felt good to see him feeling soon good because of you. Despite your growing desire to push this further, you decided to leave that for another day and ew work him up to it. For today, you would leave him with a sore ass and maybe even a little treat if he behaves and gets to the end of all twenty.

He nodded, "I- I can do it."

"Are you sure? Your little ass is looking like it hurts, we can stop if you want."

"N-no. I can make it to the end, y/n. Please."

It pleasantly surprised you that you didn't need to bring up the reward you had offered him. Maybe he still remembers the promise of it or maybe he simply wanted you to hit him more, to hit him harder, to make him beg for you to stop.

"Okay then." You kept your voice harsh but silky as your hand came slamming back down again.

"E-eleven."

By fifteen, he was short of breath and began trying to rut against the bed for release. Until your hand hit him again that is.

"You were behaving so well. If you can survive the last five without doing that again, you'll still get your reward. If you can't, then you'll be sleeping on your own tonight." You tutted, threatening him with not only the loss of his reward but also you for the night.

More often than not, you slept in his room or he slept in yours. Of course, you were not supposed to and had you not been in your last year maybe Eraserhead would have done something about it. He certainly knew that the two of you often shared a bed but he had been your teacher for three years now and he trusted that the two of you were old enough to be responsible with what you did behind closed doors. Although, if he saw what you were doing right now he'd probably split the two of you up for the rest of the year and put you in detention until you graduate.

"T-Twenty."

When his final, shaky count left his lips, Izuku collapsed onto the bed. This was quite possibly too much for him, or maybe not quite enough.

"Good boy. As promised, you get your treat now. Go on, lie down."

He did as you instructed and turned himself over to lie on the bed, seemingly noticing the way his ass hurt just as he put pressure on it. He watched you eagerly as you walked over to him, eyes locked with his as you climbed onto the bed. When your eyes finally broke apart, you grabbed his rock hard cock and slowly began pumping him.

Izuku moaned and threw his head back, only for his eyes to snap back to you when you took him in your mouth.

"y/n..." He groaned, fingers instinctively going into your hair.

You relished in the feeling of his fingers lightly tugging at your hair, know that was a sign he was enjoying it. As you continued to bob your head, your tongue slipping over the tip every time before you sunk back down, you gently took a hold of his balls and began to massage them in your hand.

When your boyfriend groaned through gritted teeth, you knew you were doing a good job. You knew exactly what he liked and had become quite skilled in providing him with the pleasure he so desperately sought. This time around, however, you knew he was getting closer to his release much faster than usual.

Maybe it was because he had been hard for so long. Maybe it was the friction he received from the bed. But you knew what it really was. He was so close already because he enjoyed the little spanking you gave him. It probably wouldn't be too bold to say that he loved it, definitely by the way he was reacting down here.

"y/n, I- I'm going to- I'm going to cum."

He gave you a warning, as he always did, so that you could pull off if you wanted to but you didn't. You held his dick between your lips as he came and quickly swallowed his release before coming off with a pop.

As soon as you were done, although Izuku was clearly exhausted, he grabbed a hold of your arm to pull you onto him. Before you had a chance to blink you were lying on his chest encased in his arms and he pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead.

"Thank you."

He smiled into your hair and gave you a little, affectionate squeeze.

[ihaveafandom-problem554]

Hamiltots 2

"Honey! you've met Alexander, right?" Washington shouts from the reading center. "Yes, he's adorable.. and troublesome. He made a lot of friends on his first day.." Martha says while cleaning the tables over at the crafting table. "He helps Lafayette a lot- What!" George glared at his wife from across the room. "I said one thing about him."

"And that will be it."

"Oh please... Why'd you mention him?"

"He....He almost started a fight with Jefferson. He also called Lafayette 'Laffy' "

" Reason one, of why I called him troublesome... We really have to keep an eye on him. I don't want any fights between the thre- two" Martha says quickly trying to cover her mistake by coughing. "Three?"

"I said two George, did you sleep well?" Martha questions while walking over to her husband, placing a kiss on his forehead. "I should be asking you that question. But yes your right, I don't want him to get hurt.."

A couple hours later...

Hercules and Madison were the first to enter, greeting the two adults. Madison went over to his little spot in the reading center as Hercules goes over to the play center where all the toys were.

A couple minutes passed before Mrs. Martha heard a small knock on the door.

"Oh Alex!" Says the startled woman. "Where's Mom?.."

"Work." Alex blankly stares at Mrs. Martha. "Ok... Um come in.." Alex rushes in hoping to see Jefferson, but had a rush of disappointment when he only saw a book hiding someone's face. Another rush of disappointment when the hair wasn't large and poofy.

"ALEX!" Alexander turns his head around to see Hercules inviting him to the play with him.

JAMES MADISON'S POV yaay!!!

I slowly look up from my book to see the new kid run off to Mulligan. I sigh in relief, I don't want to meet anyone I don't recognize without Angelica first. She's better at meeting people than me.. I just get really shaky, and I forget how to speak.

"You ok honey?" I jump in fear. " Oh dear, sorry I didn't mean to startle you.." I look to see Mrs. Martha putting her hand on my head to calm me. "Yeah, I'm ok... Thank you for asking."

She smiles in awe. "Of course honey." She goes back to replace a some of the books.

I'm really surprised she doesn't have any kids... She's so nice and gentle. Always looking after  everyone, maybe that's why she owns the daycare.

I grabbed my blankie and put it over my head, letting the warmth hug around me. No matter how hot or cold it was, I will have my blankie with me. I don't know what I'll do without it.

40 minutes later

"Tu vas devoir lui dire les règles. S'il ne les suit pas, je le ferai-" I listen to the sound of a boy speaking french. "Ouais ouais peu importe. Je vais lui expliquer." Someone sassed back.

I'm taking the guess it was Lafayette, judging by Hercules and the new kid's reaction when he got closer to them.

Sugar.. If he's here, then...

I feel a shadow above me. I'm praying its Angelica, I'd do anything if it's her.

I take a peek. Poofy hair.. ok 50% chance..

It's not done.. 20% chance..

I look down.. It's not her favorite shoe's she said she'd wear today... -20% chance..

Fancy magenta shirt... -80%...

Hands are crossed and their foot is tapping... -99%- oh what's the point. Ladies and Gentleman, here we are, a pink loving, poofy hair southerner, troublemaker... please, you simply must meet Thomas, THOMAS-

He knocks on my book "Thomas Jefferson's home~ Now open up!" He takes the book out of my hands and places it on the floor, then looks back at me with a smug look, waiting for his 'good morning'.

"Good morning Jefferson...." I whisper, not wanting to be loud. "Louder" He demands. "Good morning Jefferson..." I say a little louder. " Come on louder than that.."

"Good morning Jefferson."

"If there was a scale on how loud people spoke, you would be at -10,000" he says removing my blankie out of my face as it falls. I look down, not knowing what to do, I smile.

"Why are you smiling?" He questions. "O-oh uhh, I-I... I don't know... I-I didn't know what to do.."

"Yeah, your pretty sad.." he says sitting next to me.

This is like a routine for us. If Angelica doesn't come first, I have to say Good morning to Jefferson, 'loudly' then read him a book 'loudly' until Angelica comes. When she does, we walk around the classroom and greet everyone, but if Angelica comes first, I have to recite the alphabet 2 times, loud enough for her to hear, then read on of the level two books out loud to her until Jefferson comes. When he comes we go around the classroom to help the adults, but I have to ask. Luckily he gets carried away and he does most of the talking.  

They claim it's to help me out of my shyness, I don't think I'm shy... I just... don't like to talk to people a lot..or be around people a lot... or look them in the eyes... sometimes they look really scary...Sometimes I feel like crying.... I just want to hide under a blanket and read with my blankie. I like that. Ooo! with Ice cream too! Sometimes with Apple pie with a bit of whip cream on it!-

"I don't know why your smiling, but I wanna know!" Jefferson jumps. "Oh I-I was just thinking about reading under a blanket- et w-w-ith Ic-Ice cream"

He looks at me, with this huge smile. His eyes are also lighting up. "Oh I love to do that with Laffy! When it's the summer we hide in under the loft bed I told you about, and-and we take all the ice cream or-or Macaroni and cheese Right? and-and we play all types of games in there. It's so fun" He says throwing his hands in the air then falling back in the bean bag giggling loudly. I giggle too. I love to see him in a giggly fit or excited for the littlest things, it's so cute.

"Ooo what do you do?" He says sitting himself up. "Oh! well um- I- When I'm alone I g-go to the Kitchen-en t-to find-" I try my best to look him in the eye, but when I do, he.. looks so interested... I never really looked him in the eyes while I'm talking to him. Has he always looked like that? "I try to f-find the best t-type of Ic-Ice cream, then I rush over to the bedroom and hide under my blanket and start reading the book I-I was reading for a while now..."

"The book where the girl saves the pig and the pig becomes really famous for some reason." He says cocking his head to the side. " Oh I also started reading it yesterday."

I don't know what I'm feeling but I think I'm doing the thing Hercules does when he's happy.. "Wait really!" I spoke a little louder than usual. "D-Do you like it!? Cause I do! I really hope you like it!-"

Third POV

Mrs. Martha is star struck at how "Loud" James was speaking, she didn't even notice Maria tugging on the ends of her dress. "Oh! Maria deary, what's- James apologize to her now!" Her voice switching quickly from a kitten to a lion in a split second scared both Maria and James.

"H-huh?"

"Not you Madison, I'm talking to Reynolds"

"O-oh ok" ending with a harsh cough, he turns back to Jefferson to who was bouncing in the bean bag for some reason.

"I didn't do anything to her. She's just a baby." he says playing with scissors. Mrs. Martha leans down to Maria. "What did he do now, sweetheart.."

Maria was on the verge of tears " Whe-When I was picking up m-my paper he dropped, I turned around and saw him go-going to cut my Hair!"

"No. I. Wasn't." He protested from across the room.

"Yes-Yes he did. Yesterday he-he said m-my h-air w-was t-too-"

"Calm down honey.." Mrs. Martha picks up Maria who was now crying out of fear. "Reynolds go over to the corner." He makes this inhumanly noise before getting up to the corner. " And put those scissors down now!"

Maria tugs on Mrs. Martha's necklace trying to grab her attention. "yes sweetheart?"

Maria leans in her and whispers.. " d-don't t-tell him I-I said t-th-this b-b-ut" Maria looks up to see if James was looking. "h-he sai-d h-he would cut m-y li-lips i-if I-I t-attled o-on him a-again" Maria trying her best not to cry out loud covers her mouth immediately.

Mrs. Martha almost freaked out but quickly gained posture to calm down Maria. She gave her husband the 'we need to talk' look. Washington noded strenly, then turned around sharply to rethink his actions this morning wondering if he did something wrong.

A little later more kids came in

" Mr. Washington... you need help with anything?" George looked down at his desk to see Jefferson trying to peek at his work. "You didn't need help yesterday, so what about today?" Washington smiles and pats Jefferson on the head. " We have new books, I think I might need help putting the 'Level 1' stickers on them."  

Jefferson immediately lights up. " Yeah! I can do that! Where are they?"

"The back room.." Jefferson ran over to the back room in insinat. "Don't start any fights!" he hears Washington shout at him. What does he mean by that?.. I mean if jammy is in there I won't start a fight with him... Or Laffy.. Angie.. she's a different story..

As opens the door slowly opens the door, thoughts still going to his head....That is... until he looks up.....

Alexander and Laurens stare at the poofy haired kid for a bit until Alex breaks the silence. "Ew, Get out."

"No! you get out! your not supposed to be here!!" Jefferson points at them, Laurens hides behind Alex as he does the talking. "Nuh-uh your not supposed to be here, annoying babies aren't allowed-"

"Alex! we don't say that to friends." Mr. Washington walked in with a large handful of books and labled stickers. How did he open the door- no idea.

"He's not my friend.."

"Alexander!" Jefferson goes up to hug Mr. Washington's leg. "He-He called me a stupid, poofy idiot."

"DID NOT-"

"YEAH HE DIDN'T SAY THAT-" Laurens finally pitches in. Jefferson glares at both of them. "Yes he did Mr. Washington-n-n...." He whines with a very dramatic pouty expression with large puppy eyes.  " I don't know if he actually said that, but you still need to apologize for calling him a-"

"But I don't want to..." Alex whines. "It not the matter if you want to or not, it's a must Alexander-"

"But why???" He complains once more.

"Alexander.." He says more sternly. Alex whimpers before turning Jefferson who had a fat smug smile on his face. "I'm sorry ...I guess"

"That's better, now I'm gonna leave you guys here for a bit, I will come back I just need to finish some paperwork." Washington says putting the books and stickers on the table. "All you have to do is to put the sticker on bottom right corner, right next to the opening." He shows them an example and tells them to do the same. "Good! Now Don't start any fights or you will stop helping me." He warns.

The three boys nod and smile until he leaves. "Why are you two here!" Jefferson spoke first. "I asked Mr. Washington if me, Laurens, Hercules, and Laffy can help him." ( A/N: I swear he's playing with fire...) "So Herc and-"

"Call him Laffy one more time, I will give you a paper cut" Jefferson threatens holding up a book.

Alexander mouth got closed by Laurens who shook his head and whispered. "He's done it before, it was big too. He once did it to Mr. Washington when he told him no." Alexander gave Laurens an annoyed look before staring back at Jefferson who sat down and grabbed a couple books and stickers.

...

"Where's Laffy?"

"What?" Laurens picks his head up from the book he was trying to read. "You said Laffy asked to help too, Where is he?" Jefferson says, sounding more like a demand than a question. Alexander rolls his eyes. " yeah he's with Herc and Mrs. Mar-"

"IT'S YOUR FAVORITE SCHUYLAR!-"

"Don't have one." Jefferson smirked. Angelica playfully tackled Jefferson on to the floor. " OW! GELICA!" Angelica flipped her puffy hair and looked down at Jefferson with sass. " First, You didn't greet me today. Now your helping without me!"

"I thought you were with Jemmy!"

"We finish greeting people in about two to three minutes and you know that Mr." Jefferson sticks his tongue out at Angelica before laughing it off.

"Oh that's Angelica, Peggy's older sister. We like to call her Angie but Jefferson's different so he calls her Gelica." Laurens whispers. Alex nods, he remembers her from the reading center incident. She's pretty... and scary

Angelica looks up. "Oh! I didn't know you two where here. You boys had a nice morning?" she smiles.

"Yep! Are you helping us?" Laurens jumps. "Yeah! I was trying to convince Jammy to come but he said he wanted to stay in the Reading center with his blankie..." Angelica sits down in between Alexander and Jefferson.

Alexander thought it would be nice to start a conversation with her but Laurens wanted to talk to him.

"Lexi, HamHam, Hammy, Ham, Alex, exy-"

"Laurens, what are you doing?" Laurens smiles when he finally got his attention. He also has one of the stickers on his forehead-

"I just wanted to name all the nicknames I have for you." Alex smiles wide. "You forgot dunce." Ok Alex's smiles fades into a scowl.

"Jeffy! That's mean!" Angelica protested. "That's the point.." He boops Angelica's nose, making it difficult to keep her scowl.

"Well I think, one of his nicknames should be cutie~" She says booping Alex's nose. Causing the short boy to have a small hint of blush creep across his face.

"Ew, Gelica I thought you had a good nickname for him. Not a lie."

"Jeffy, what is wrong with you." Angelica's hair whipped Alex's face as she scolds Jefferson who only smiled brightly.

"He did nothing wrong, you mother-" "Call that again you bit-" "Oh you wanna fuc-"

"Jefferson hunny! Come here now!" They hear Mrs. Martha call. Jefferson got out of his seat to see what was wrong. The other three got nosey and followed.

As they walked out of the back room Jefferson fell backward due to someone running into him. "OW WH- Oh Jam-"

When Jefferson picked up James' head, he saw tears coming down his cheeks. Jefferson starts to worry. "Hey Jemmy." Jefferson hugs him hoping it'll slow his hard crying. "He started crying when I came back inside. I tried asking him what happened but he just started to cry harder." Mrs. Martha kneels down trying to help both the boys up.

"Jemmy..." Jefferson cups Madison's face and squishes it a little as he does a pouty face. He does this with Lafayette when he's sad. A small smile appears on his face but it doesn't stop the tears from flowing.

"Wha happen?" He finally asks. Madison leans in for a hug as he cries harder.

"I-I can't find my Blankie!"

[grxceblqckthxrn]

TDA characters as types of tiktokers

y’all KNOW i’m bored when i’m doing this shit lmao 

i’ll get around to doing the other TSC characters eventually TDA was just the first to come to mind also if you’re not actively on tiktok some of what i say might not make sense ahaha

also i named some tiktokers who yall can use for reference for some of them and from what i’ve seen they’re all fairly unproblematic so you should check them out!!

EMMA CARSTAIRS

okay so she’s DEFINITELY super popular and she uses her platform for good

she’s really funny and a lot of her audios go viral posts videos of her dancing saying that she cant dance but she’s actually really good at it

6M followers and growing fast 

 hypes up her boyfriend’s account ALL the time

calls out misogynistic/racist tiktokers through duets and KEEPS THEIR TAG IN THE CAPTION  

 she is not afraid of starting drama lmao

occasionally hops on POV and transition trends but its usually satire 

emma can’t act for shit lmao 

super active on tiktok and has a spam account

people are always asking her to drop the skin care routine but she doesn’t have one?? 

*pushes Zara down* “and no one’s gonna help her?? WOW some world we live in”

JULIAN BLACKTHORN

there’s no way he doesnt  have an art account lmao

a lot of his paintings go viral but 90% of his comments are 14 year old girls thirsting over him

yall know that pottery guy on tiktok?? the cute one?? (i searched up his account just for this post he’s @/daxnewman769) that’s the best way to describe him

literally all the famous tiktokers commission him

probably has like 4M followers lmao

will occasionally make about how respecting women doesn’t make you a “simp”

doesn’t get into tiktok drama tho

posts candid videos of emma and all his jealous 14 year old fans get so pressed but he shuts down anyone who says anything bad about her

sometimes does painting or drawing tutorials and he’s really good at teaching stuff lmao

CRISTINA ROSALES

omg okay so like yall know those really pretty girls on tiktok who are literal models and are always dropping tips on how to frame your face for pictures and best clothes and poses and whatever  ( @/ameliezilber is the first person that came to mind as an example)

thats her

alot of her content is just for the aesthetic

BLING EFFECT

GRWM’s all the time

10 step skin care routine 

GOOD VIBES

has a pretty decent following?? like at least 2 million

has a spam but it’s exactly the same as her main lol

also calls out problematic tiktokers but not by name

her entire account is full of body positivity and does a bunch of stuff on loving yourself

sometimes does POVs and all the comments are like “@ netflix hire her rn”

sometimes posts crack videos with emma and cute vids with mark and kieran

MARK BLACKTHORN

does a lot of reaction videos and duets

a lot of his videos go viral but he doesn’t have a huge following like maybe 800k

 everyone still knows him

gets at least twenty “are you wearing only one contact” comment about his eyes every post

he’s really funny without even realizing it 

sometimes goes inactive for weeks at a time and just forgets that tiktok exists lmao

shows off kieran and cristina ALL THE MF TIME AND EVERYONE IS SO JEALOUS LIKE HOW ARE ALL OF THEM HOT

KIERAN 

doesnt have a tiktok lmao sorry

but shows up so much on mark’s and cristina’s that a lot of people know who he is

DIANA WRAYBURN

unironically does POVs but is actually good at them??

lots of videos talking about the struggles of minorities like LGBTQ+ and POC and women

posts a lot of those vidoes that are like “what to do if you ever get kidnapped” “red flags in relationships” “most powerful parts of the body” etc

probably has like 500k followers 

at the end of the day she doesn’t really use tiktok that much tho ahaha

LIVVY BLACKTHORN:

does a little bit of everything??

posts dance videos sometimes 

omg her transitions are SO good

everyone is in love with her and she has to remind them that she’s a minor (i’m just a kid plays aggressively in the background)

posts videos that are just vibes?? like her skating at night, dancing in traffic with dru/her friends, walking through the city at night etc

lots of lip syncing videos to whatever sounds are popular and all her comments are like “i wish i looked like this” “guess im not eating today” and she gets so upset :((

she wants everyone to know that they’re perfect the way they are!!

also posts POVs sometimes and she’s not that bad at them ahaha 

probably has like 1 million followers 

doesn’t even need a spam just posts everything on her main 

shouts out her sibilings accounts all the time

overall just great energy

TY BLACKTHORN

never posts his face on his main but he does on his spam

yall know those accounts that post fun facts or psychology facts?? his is like that except he talks to explain them and everyone finds his voice SO calming 

he posts a lot of content of animals and everyone is in AWE with how good he is with them

his username is probably theanimalwhisperer or something djkfskjd

every single time he posts Kit on his account all the comments are like “OOH ICU” and “SHIP” and “ASK HIM OUT ALREADY”

he gives 0 shits about popularity on tiktok he’s just posting for fun because he likes teaching people about his interests

so he has like maybe 500k followers

lots of philosophical questions that has everyone questioning their existence

ugh i love him

KIT HERONDALE

be honest this is what y’all were waiting for 

yall know those unproblematic ppl that everyone refers to as the “king(s) of tiktok”???

yeah thats him

SO FUNNY

LIKE HIS CONTENT IS GENUINELY HILARIOUS

lots of sarcasm and satire

think @/adamkindacool  ?? (one of my favourite tiktokers lmao)

does reaction videos for those “pov: im the annoying hot cheeto girl sitting next to you in math class” videos

dark humor (not like rude humor but actual dark humor)

like “i put the baby in the oven and the pizza in the bed” type of jokes back when those were a thing

has like 4M followers but almost every single one of his posts go viral so he’s gaining fast

lots of pranks

starts a bunch of trends

any video he posts of Mina goes viral

sometimes he posts some really weird stuff that has everyone laughing so hard irl (@/benoftheweek)

he NEVER thirst traps but still gets a lot of those weird sexual fairy comments on his posts (iykyk)

TO BE CLEAR I MEAN THE FAIRY EMOJI ONES NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM BEING FAE 

reacts to the comments with a video of him just staring at the screen with the “oh to see without my eyes” or “im just sixteen” audio going on in the background which only encourages them to make more weird comments

anyways everyone loves him

any of his povs are pure jokes meant to make fun of pov’ers

posts maybe one serious tiktok every 5 months that talks about being respectful and using your platform for good

“i miss old tiktok”

posts a lot of random videos of Ty where, again, all the comments are shipping them except even more so on his account because everyone can see his heart eyes for Ty

collabs with Dru a lot and does a bunch of duets of her videos

everyone loves him bye

DRU BLACKTHORN

SO many memes

she deletes any hate in her comments bc she honestly doesnt care to respond to them and doesn’t need that kind of negativity in her life

but one time she got a “the f in women stands for funny” comment and she WENT OFF

does really dark povs sometimes that are really interesting

CLOWN MAKEUP + SCARY CLOWN TIKTOKS ( think @/avani ‘s clown make up posts

REALLY good at makeup and sometimes gets julian to do scary makeup on her for tiktoks and povs (like those ones with stitches over the mouth or skin peeling off)

huge ally!! posts a lot about minorities struggles and white privilege, and acknowledges hers

does movie reviews and stuff sometimes

“types of” videos

pulls a lot of pranks on her sibilings with livvy and sometimes with Kit

lots of body positivity + self love

calls out back-handed compliments

also has a lot of content like Livvy’s of just vibing in LA

julian and emma and mark go off at anyone who sexualize her in the comments

probably has like 650k followers

posts a couple of times a week

BONUS: 

JAIME ROSALES

lots of skateboarding videos idk he just gives me that vibe

doesn’t post that often but is super popular

like maybe 1.5M followers

really passionate about systematic racism

HATES all those privileged white boys using the “this is america” audio to pretend they’re oppressed ( this is a may 2020 thing so it probably wont make sense to anyone who sees this after lmao)

POSTS A LOT OF THIRST TRAPS LMAO 

also posts lots of videos that’s just him yelling about stuff but they’re really entertaining to watch ( like that guy sebastian @/sauceyogranny)

everyone thinks he’s super hot he always shows up in those “hottest boys on tiktok” videos except sometimes he’s just the token POC boy and it makes him mad :( 

DIEGO ROSALES

HIS ACCOUNT IS SO PRACTICAL LMAO

lots of tips 

“what to do if you’re trapped in the desert” “what to do if you’re kidnapped and stuck in the trunk”

doesnt reply to comments EVER unless it’s to clarify a point he made in the video or answer a question

has like 200k

okay thats it lmao im done bye this took me like an hour to make

i’ll get to all the other characters from the other series’ eventually 

also if yall are wondering abt the lack of f*ckbois in this post they’re coming dw

TMI CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS

TID CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS 

TLH CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #114: Minamoto-no-Raikou

Today on Fate and Phantasms, we're making the leading mystic slayer of Japan, the leader of Lava Swimmers Anonymous, and Arjuna's half-sister, Minamoto-no-Raikou! Mama Raikou certainly has a unique personality, but thankfully we don't have to build that! We're here to make her fighting style more than anything, and that means we need to be able to mix around any weapon in the game, maybe slap some lightning into it, and then hand it off to one of our retainers and let them have fun.

Check out Mama Raikou's build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Next episode: Our heroes face their greatest challenge yet: making a motorcycle in D&D! Will they ride eternal, shiny and gold? Or will they spin out? Also, will Onigashima ever get added to the rerun shop?? Find out next time on Fate and Phantasms!

Race and Background

Remember how I said we were keeping things simple with Xuanzang and her being human? Yeah, that's not going to work here. Raikou's part got and part demon, so there's a lot of ways you can go about this one. If any sort of lightning smite existed I might have gone with Zariel Tiefling, but the Fallen Aasimar fits her best flavor-wise, if not in gameplay. Thanks to Tasha's, we can customize your bonuses to better fit your classes, giving you +1 Wisdom and +2 Strength, as well as some Darkvision, Celestial Resistance against necrotic and radiant damage, Healing Hands to pass out a delicious, nutricious snack once per long rest, and the Light cantrip from your Light Bearer feature. Your sword isn't electric yet, but at least you can make it look the part.

Mystic slaying is certainly the most interesting part of your resume, but you had to pad out the day-by-day stuff by being a Soldier (well, Samurai, but tomato tamamo), giving you Athletics and Intimidation proficiencies. You ever see Raikou mad? Exactly.

Ability Scores

Standard warning: we generally use the standard array for character creation; roll if you want, but keep multiclassing in mind. Make Strength your highest score-you're a berserker, this shouldn't be new to you by now. Your Dexterity should be next, you're as good with a bow as you are with a sword, and calling your outfit light armor is generous. Third is Constitution because making a berserker with mental abilities higher than physical ones just feels wrong. Unfortunately we have to make your Wisdom a little higher than I'd like for multiclassing, but you are good at stalking people, so I guess that works out. Your Charisma is pretty low, you have a forceful personality but not a lot of self-awareness, but we're dumping Intelligence. I'm not calling Mama Raikou dumb, but I doubt her kids are coming to her with their maths homework.

Class Levels

1. Ranger 1: I was tempted to go paladin to get electric weapons, but since none of the smites deal lightning damage we might as well focus on the nitty gritty of demon hunting. As a ranger, you get proficiency with Strength and Dexterity saves, as well as three ranger skills-grab Animal Handling for a riding skill, and Perception and Stealth to help stalk Gudao.

You also gain a Favored Enemy in Fiends, giving you advantage on Survival and Intelligence checks involving demonic hordes. I know missing out on that Favored Foe is rough, but we'll have more flavorful ways to use your concentration later.

As a Deft Explorer, you're Canny when it comes to Intimidation, letting you use someone's middle name to double up your proficiency bonus.

2. Ranger 2: Your Archery skills give you +2 to ranged weapon attack rolls. You can also start casting Spells this level using your Wisdom. While we're waiting on your lightning weapons you can use Hunter's Mark to deal more damage and stalk people more easily. You can also use Zephyr Strike for another way to deal damage and gain a bit more speed.

3. Fighter 1: You don't just have some skill with weapons though, you have a lot of skill. That's why you have a second fighting style. Great Weapon Fighting will make your attacks with your longsword a bit more consistent, especially useful when you're sticking a bunch of extra damage on your attacks.

You also get a Second Wind, so you can pack yourself a bento as well, and you can channel every mother ever to unleash your Necrotic Shroud once per long rest. After you transform, creatures have to make a Charisma save (DC 8 plus your proficiency plus your charisma modifier) or be frightened of you until the end of your next turn. Also, once per turn while your transformation is up you can deal extra necrotic damage to a creature you hit with an attack. Again, not lightning, but still scary.

4. Ranger 3: Third level rangers join a conclave, and the Monster Slayer conclave will.. help you slay monsters. It's right on the tin, come on. Your Hunter's Sense will let you know the immunities, resistances, and vulnerabilities of a creature you target as an action. You can use this a number of times per long rest equal to your wisdom modifier, so... once. You can also use your bonus action to activate your Slayer’s Prey, adding another bit of damage to a targeted creature the first time you hit it each turn. It doesn’t use your concentration, and lasts until your next rest or until you target someone else.

Your Primeval Awareness will help you sense demonic presences within a mile of you for each minute per spell level you burn. Also aberrations, celestials, dragons, elementals, fey, and undead presences, but you’re a demon hunter.

You can use your sword as a lightning rod to Absorb Elements, reducing your own damage to add even more damage to your next strike. This will also make swimming through lava slightly less of a bad idea, if you’re interested. As part of your conclave you can also cast Protection from Evil and Good to make your fight against Shuten even more one sided.

5. Ranger 4: Use your first Ability Score Increase to round up your Strength and Constitution to hit people even harder and take more hits.

6. Ranger 5: Fifth level rangers get an Extra Attack each action, and you can cast second level spells too. You’re not Kiyohime, but feel free to help her out with your Zone of Truth, courtesy of your conclave. You can also Locate Object this level. That hair clip you gave Gudako? Not just a thoughtful gift.

7. Ranger 6: Speaking of stalking the Gudas, your Favored Enemy improvement helps you stalk Humans and Tieflings. You also become a Roving ranger, giving you an extra bit of speed, including a climbing and swimming speed.

8. Ranger 7: Your Supernatural Defense gives you an extra boost to your saves and grapple escapes against creatures you’re targeting with slayer’s prey. You can also cast Protection from Poison this level. You don’t have this explicitly in canon, but you hang out with Serenity a lot and you’re not dead yet, so you’ve got something going for you.

9. Ranger 8: Grab the Warcaster feat with this ASI to empower your concentration spells and let you cast them even with both hands full. You’re also Fleet of Foot to help you move through difficult terrain unharmed.

10. Ranger 9: Ninth level rangers get third level spell slots. You get Magic Circle as a freebie from your conclave, but you also get Elemental Weapon to finally add some lightning to your weapon attacks. Now that we have a lore-correct thing to spend most of your concentration on, we’ll also drop hunter’s mark for a Lightning Arrow. This is also the only spell you have that cares about your wisdom score, though you can still do plenty of damage with the normal attack.

11. Fighter 2: Now that your signature weapons are ready, it’s time we worked on your Noble Phantasm. Before that, though, you get an Action Surge- a free extra action you can tack on your turn once per short rest.

12. Fighter 3: You’ve got to be able to summon your retainers to beat down demons, and that means we’re heading back to the Echo Knight subclass for Manifest Echo. As a bonus action you can make a copy of yourself that’s a bit more fragile than most berserkers (It’s a copy of you, but I’m not sure if it gets a copy of your shocking weaponry. Slayer’s Prey will definitely work). While active, you can attack and make attacks of opportunity from its position, and you can swap places with the echo by using 15 feet of movement.

You can also Unleash Incarnation while your echo’s out on the field, giving them an extra attack as part of your attack action. You can use this a number of times per long rest equal to your constitution modifier.

13. Fighter 4: Your swordplay is fine, but you could stand to brush up on your archery. Use this ASI to grab more Dexterity.

14. Fighter 5: You get extra attack again, but it doesn’t stack with your ranger skill, so... enjoy the extra HP, I guess.

15. Fighter 6: Speaking of HP, use this ASI to bump up your Constitution for 15 more HP and another use of Unleash Incarnation.

16. Fighter 7: You can now use your Echo as an Echo Avatar, letting you scout out the area through its eyes up to 1000′ feet away from your regular body for up to 10 minutes. Despite the distance between you two, it still costs only 15′ to teleport! Now that’s convenience!

17. Fighter 8: For your final ASI, bring your Dexterity up so it can match your strength.

18. Fighter 9: You become Indomitable, letting you re-roll a failed save once per long rest. You might not be that reasonable, but that doesn’t mean you’re easy to charm.

19. Fighter 10: Our final echo goody lets you turn your echos into Shadow Martyrs, spending your reaction to throw an echo in front of an ally that’s being attacked, switching the target of the attack. You can do this once per short rest. Protect your darling Kintoki by... throwing a spiritual copy of him to its death... that looked better in your head, you swear.

20. Fighter 11: Your capstone level gives you yet another Extra Attack that actually does stack this time. That means you get three attacks per action, or four with Unleash Incarnation.

Pros:

Thanks to your Great Weapon Fighting powering up all your damage dice, your critical hits with your longsword can be pretty scary. Add in all your attacks, and you’ve got a good chance of dealing a lot of damage at once.

As expected of the premiere mystic slayer of the Heian period, you have plenty of demonic defenses to make fighting and tracking fiends a cakewalk.

With you and your echo out at the same time, you can lock down a larger area to abuse your once-per-turn Slayer’s Prey a bit more.

Cons:

You don’t have many spell slots, so you’ll have to be careful about using them, especially your third level slots. Burning through that slot on a single attack would be bad enough, but Lightning Arrow also uses your concentration, which leads directly to con #2.

Like most rangers, you have problems when it comes to concentration. It’s not that your save is bad, but you still have to balance out your various spells and play smart.

Also like most rangers, your bonus action is crowded, which can make things complicated as well. Echo Knight does not help here either.

[secretpeachtea]

Onigiri Miya Tidbits Ch 1

Title: the predicament

Genre: gen fic, reader insert

Word Count: 2.2k

Summary: Onigiri Miya is now hiring and you just happen to be the right person for the job. The business has been gaining popularity since its grand opening, and many customers travel from different cities just to have a bite of Miya Osamu’s delicious recipes. You did expect some craziness from working in food services, but what you didn’t expect was to be bombarded with frequent tomfoolery from a bunch of attractive volleyball players during your shifts.

disclaimer: manga spoilers

Next

“...and that’s about it for training. I might even teach you how to make some of the recipes one day, but for now, you’ll be in charge of register. I’ll be right over there if you got any questions.”

Today was your first day working at Onigiri Miya. After spending countless hours looking for a way to earn some money, you finally scored a part time job in this quaint onigiri establishment. You originally wanted to avoid working at a food joint due to their notorious obnoxious customers, but you didn’t really have much of a choice if you wanted to be able to pay for next month’s rent. As a student, you’re pretty limited on time as well, so it was nice that the work hours matched up with your schedule. Despite your initial hesitance, you lucked out in having such a kind boss.

“Glad to have you here, (Surname)-san.” Miya Osamu gave you a soft smile that almost made you swoon right then and there. Luckily, he was too busy wiping down his work area to catch you staring. 

Yup, you definitely lucked out in having such a handsome boss as well.

Your thoughts were interrupted when you heard the bell above the entrance ring, signaling the arrival of a customer. Putting on your best smile, you straighten your posture and fix up your black work hat.

“Welcome to Onigiri Miya!”

“Hey, hey, hey! Akaashi! This place is pretty nice!”

Two men walked into the shop casually and looked around with interest. The one who had spoken adorned a black and grey hoodie that matched the color of his hair, while the bespectacled figure wore a white button down to match his professional aura. Quite the duo as your first customers.

“Bokuto-san, try to keep your voice down indoors. We wouldn’t want to disturb other customers.”

Although the two were unfamiliar to you, Osamu seemed to recognize them almost immediately. “Oh, hey guys. What brings you here today?”

Akaashi adjusted his glasses and responded first. “I heard Onigiri Miya was deemed as the best onigiri restaurant of the year in Japan, so I wanted to come see for myself.”

“Tsum-Tsum said that you make the best Onigiri in the world, so I really wanted to try it out too!” Bokuto sported a wide smile while gesturing his arms for emphasis like a young child.

You just watched the three make some small talk, slightly surprised by how your boss was so familiar with the new customers. You haven’t become fully acquainted yet, so it was interesting to see the type of people he befriended. 

It wasn’t until you briefly heard Osamu say your name, did you snap out of your little trance. “(Surname)-san can help you with your orders today.”

Placing a smile on your face, you set your eyes on Bokuto and Akaashi. “What can I get for you today?”

“I’ll have a Miso Onigiri,” Akaashi ordered after briefly eyeing the menu. His friend, however, seemed to have some trouble choosing.

“Um...hmm...mmm.” Bokuto stared at the menu for a few minutes with furrowed brows. One of his hands traced each menu option rapidly while the other hand rubbed his own head in contemplation. “There’s so many flavors! How do I choose?!”

You blinked a couple times at his exaggerated reaction, but quickly made the effort to help him by using what you remember from training. “Well, I can recommend you something. Are you in the mood for meat?”

The owlish male stared at you with sparkling eyes. “I’m always in the mood for meat!”

“If you order the Nikumaki Onigiri* special today you can receive two gyoza* on the side for no extra charge.” You pointed to the small chalkboard sign that stood next to the counter with the mentioned special that was written out by Osamu before the shop opened for the day. 

“Then, I’ll order Nikumaki Onigiri because meat is the best!” Bokuto declared wholeheartedly.

Relieved that he was finally able to make a decision, you didn’t really think about the consequence of your next question. “Pork or Beef?”

“Uh...hmmm…..umm…” 

You sweatdropped at Bokuto as he once again frowned at his predicament. Osamu just quietly snickered behind you, fully aware of Bokuto’s indecisive tendencies when it came to food. Thankfully, Akaashi was getting a bit impatient himself. “Beef. He’ll take beef. And, I’ll just pay for both.”

“Alrighty! Your total will be 300 yen.” You grab the money from Akaashi and pass him the receipt. “Miya-san will take care of your order soon.”

“Thanks, (Surname)-chan!” Bokuto yelled out.

The two didn’t go far and decided to just sit at the counter space right next to the register as they waited for their food. 

Only the four of you occupied the shop at the moment and so far there haven’t been any phone orders since the day was still young. You consider yourself pretty lucky since you aren’t overwhelmed with customers on your first day. You didn’t really have much to do aside from standing in front of the register and daydreaming, so your ears automatically pick up on the conversation next to you.

“How have you been, Bokuto-san? I heard your team has been doing well this season,” Akaashi began.

Bokuto gave off the brightest smile he could manage at the mention of his favorite sport. “Yeah! We’ve been practicing every day and playing some practice games with other teams. We’re actually starting tryouts next month to scout some new players on the team!”

“Oh? I thought your team had a pretty solid roster this year?”

“My teammates are definitely strong, but after we lost to the Adlers in the last tournament, Coach thought it would be interesting to add some new faces to catch everyone off guard.”

Akaashi nodded his head in understanding. “I do think the element of surprise is very effective in volleyball.”

“It’s gonna be like a fun, surprise birthday party! We’re gonna be up against a strong team but then...BOOM! SURPRISE! They’ll never know what hit them!”

“I suppose so.”

“But, I guess it wouldn’t be as exciting since it’s no one’s birthday…” Although Bokuto no longer transitioned into his depressed phase like he did in high school, he still had moments where he’d randomly fall into a melancholic mood. “And, there wouldn’t be a big party either…”

Akaashi, already sensing the first signs of Bokuto’s altered mood, quickly thought up a solution. He held a certain glint in his eyes as he focused on his former teammate. “Anything can be exciting for everyone if volleyball is involved, Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto’s head perked up at the mention of volleyball once again, and you could’ve sworn that his hair spiked up along with his brightened expression. “You’re right, Akaashi! Man, volleyball is really great!”

At this time, Osamu finally finished putting together the two onigiris and set the plates down on the counter, putting an end to the silly conversation. There were wisps of steam coming off of the freshly cooked meat with a heavenly scent that would make anyone’s mouth water. You can definitely make out a thin line of drool threatening to fall down on Bokuto’s chin at the sight in front of him.

“A Miso Onigiri for Akaashi-san, and a Nikumaki Onigiri with a side of gyoza for Bo-san!”

The two guys thanked Osamu for the meal and each took a bite of the savory food. Their satisfied expressions were all it took for Osamu to laugh with a triumphant smile. Even you were affected by the positive reaction.

Before taking another bite, Akaashi looked as if he remembered something and turned to Bokuto. “I almost forgot. You said you wanted to ask me about something you were having trouble with?”

“Oh, yeah! I don’t really know how taxes work!” Bokuto nonchalantly replied with a chunk of meat hanging from his lips. 

“Bokuto-san,” Akaashi paused, “have you not been paying your taxes?”

The volleyball player took another large bite out of his onigiri and stared at his friend while chewing. “Was I supposed to?”

“…”

There was a brief moment of silence, the only noise coming from the appliances in the shop. Not knowing what to do, you just stood still and tried your best not to make your shock obvious. You never thought you’d become a witness to a tax evasion confession, but there seems to be a first for everything. There was a small part of you that also wanted to laugh, but you didn’t think it would be appropriate with the fact that you didn’t know the two men sitting in front of you very well. Although, you think you might’ve heard a soft snicker come from your boss, but maybe it was your imagination.

“Has anyone contacted you recently about finances? Perhaps a bank or, um, the police?”

“Hmm...Not that I know of!” Bokuto scratches his head in thought. “But then again, I might’ve missed some calls during practices. I don’t answer unknown numbers either ever since Omi-kun told me about the scary people that try to take my money!”

With his half-eaten onigiri resting between his fingers, Akaashi’s distressed eyes make contact with yours. You two just stared at one another for a couple seconds, while Bokuto casually finished the last of his onigiri, moving onto the gyoza eagerly.

“Please don’t tell anyone about this, (Surname)-san.” You’d be lying if you said you felt nothing when Akaashi asked with such a pleading tone while trying to maintain his stoic face.

Lips are sealed. Ears are plugged. Mind is clear.

“I didn’t hear a thing, Akaashi-san.”

“Thank you.”

Not wanting to waste any food, Akaashi took the time to consume the last of his meal, albeit with a bit of a stressed aura, before getting up from his seat. Bokuto had finished all of his food as well and just followed suit.

“We should get going, Bokuto-san. It’s going to take a bit of time to help you with your um...predicament.”

Bokuto, still unaware of his situation at hand, turns to smile at you and Osamu. “Thanks for the great food! It was definitely as good as Tsum-Tsum said it would be! Next time I visit, I’ll bring the team!”

Akaashi bowed while Bokuto energetically waved before the two took a step outside and slid the door closed. You could still hear the boisterous volleyball player mentioning how excited he is to spend time with his close friend to do taxes for the day.

You and Osamu share a look before bursting out in laughter together. If this is how your shifts are gonna be all the time, maybe working at a restaurant isn’t so bad after all.

“So, what’d you think of your first day?”

It was now late into the evening and you and Osamu were getting ready to head home soon. Osamu was wiping down his work area, while you were sweeping the floors. Your first day went well, and you surprisingly only made a few mistakes when taking calls. Out of all your first days from previous part time jobs, this one went the smoothest.

“I think it went well! I’ve never worked in an onigiri restaurant, but all your customers seemed pretty respectful,” you responded as you set aside the broom. 

Just as you were about to head to the back room to put away your apron, your stomach let out a distinct grumble. Heat rose onto your cheeks because you’re sure that the handsome man near you most definitely heard it.

Osamu let out an amused laugh. “You hungry?”

“Maybe a little?” You put on a sheepish smile, silently cursing your body for betraying you like that.

“How about you get your things and I’ll whip you up something to take home?” Your boss smirked.

“I thought we used up all the ingredients for today? I wouldn’t want you to go out of your way for me.” You ask even though you secretly are dying to actually try one of his godly onigiris.

Osamu just shrugs his shoulders. “I set aside some things for my brother, but I’m sure he can go a day with takeout.”

You get the feeling that he won’t let you leave until you take his offer, so you just agree and head to the back room to gather your things and stop by the bathroom. You eventually make your way back to the counter area and see that Osamu already has a small bag filled with an onigiri and a sweet tea drink. He sports a lax grin as you walk towards him and hands you the bag gently.

“One Minced Tuna and Spring Onion Onigiri.”

Your face stretched into a wide smile, already looking forward to having a taste of Osamu’s recipe. “That sounds delicious!”

“It’s my brother’s favorite. Hope you’re not allergic to fish.”

You shake your head fervently. “No way. I’d be so upset if I couldn’t eat something that smelled as good as this! Your brother has good taste.”

“I guess. He’s still got some loose screws though. Definitely knows how to irritate me to no end.” The man in front of you slouches and lets out a tired sigh.

“Well, I suppose I’ll have to meet him someday to find out.” Now, you were getting a little curious about Osamu’s brother. “I’d like to meet the guy that knows how to make my composed boss look like he’s ready to murder.”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Nikumaki Onigiri = basically rice wrapped around meat

Gyoza = dumplings, potstickers, whatever you wanna call them

A/N: super excited to share this series with y’all! I’ve never shared my writing on tumblr so we’ll see how this goes oof. I was originally going to post this later in the week, but it’s the twins’ birthday today, so I had to do it!

[tentpoletrauma]

Transcript of our A Nightmare of Elm Street (2010) podcast

Unknown Speaker  0:10   Welcome to Tentpole Trauma, the podcast where we look at movies that came with hype and high hopes, but left with crushing disappointment, either critically at the box office are both. freed from the weight of expectations, we seek to examine these underperformers under a new light parsing through the good, the bad and everything in between with the hopes of gaining a better understanding as to why they failed to find their audience.

Unknown Speaker  0:41   Warning, there will be spoilers. So if you haven't seen the movie that we're discussing today, I suggest you stop the podcast and go watch it. Then when you come back and listen, you'll get more out of the discussion. This episode, we examine the 2010 remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street.

Unknown Speaker  1:39   When West Cravens A Nightmare on Elm Street was released in 1984. I was a teenager, and though I did not see it in the theater, so my horror obsessed friends did and their reaction to it was nothing short of ecstatic. I caught up in video and saw the next two sequels in the theater. And though Michael Myers was more my slasher soon I was a Freddy Krueger convert. I lost track of the dream demon over my 20s but enjoyed the monster mashup between him and Jason for he's in 2003 Freddy vs. Jason. By the time a remake was announced in the late aughts, I was back into horror in a big way and was ready for more Freddy. And when Jackie Earle Haley, an actor I loved was revealed to be taking over for the iconic Robert England, and that the film was getting a decent budget to realize its fantastical dream sequences, I was hyped. Some months before the release, a friend of mine scored tickets to a preview screening of the movie, which I was only too happy to accept. There had been rumors of a troubled production as video director Samuel bear had never done a feature. But I was still hopeful it would be good. But the film we saw that night was a mess. It's hard for me to remember now 10 years later, what was different in the preview as compared to the official release. But I do remember the original opening scene took place at a high school party, and that the climax featured out of place religious imagery, and that at one point Freddy showed up in monk's robes. It was weird to say the least. When the film was released to the public, I saw it again out of curiosity and thought that improvements had been made, and that the movie had some redeeming qualities overall, but that ultimately it felt inconsequential, and that Jackie Earle Haley fell far short of the great Robert England. critics and fans were far less kind to it than I was another film made a profit it pretty much shut down the Platinum dunes remake machine for good. No sequel was ever announced. And Fred has been absent from our dreams and from movie screens ever since. So what went wrong? That's what we're here to discuss on this episode of Tentpole Trauma, the 2010 remake of the Nightmare on Elm Street.

Unknown Speaker  4:02   All right, I'm Sebastian and I'm here with Jennifer. Hello. And Rodney from the pod forsaken podcast. Hey,

Unknown Speaker  4:10   everyone. Hello,

Unknown Speaker  4:12   Ronnie. Why haven't you called? Have you ever thought of rebranding the podcast to rod forsaken?

Unknown Speaker  4:18   You know, I bring that up to my co hosts every episode before we record. And because there's two of them, they always outvote me. But I I'm with you maybe you want to have a word with them.

Unknown Speaker  4:28   This is why you kill your other hosts.

Unknown Speaker  4:31   Oh, is is that why there were seven hosts here at 10

Unknown Speaker  4:34   years to be more hosts for Tentpole Trauma, but they are gone now. They died in their dreams. Tell us a little bit about your podcast.

Unknown Speaker  4:43   Piper Sagan horror podcast is a horror podcast where we kind of do the opposite. I think of what you guys do. We specifically pick horror movies that most people have never seen or maybe never even heard of. And then we watch them. We tell you about them. We usually do a format where First, the beginning of the episode, we watch the trailer for the movie we're going to do next week, so that you can, you know, you can watch the trailer and decide if this movie is for you. And then, you know, we talked about the movie with no spoilers give you kind of a review, and then we dive in and just spoil the shit out of it. But the whole point is that like, as we were all horror fans, obviously, and after a certain point, you have to start digging deep to find good stuff, right? Like theatrical, hollywood movies kind of start leaving a bad taste in your mouth. And so we started the podcast to help horror fans find the really good shit that's either foreign or like independently made that you might not know about. It's just a passion project that I do with some friends. And we've had a very good response so far. Although no one's probably gonna look me in the eyes and say, I hate your fucking podcast, but you're welcome to.

Unknown Speaker  5:55   Well, I've been meaning to tell you.

Unknown Speaker  5:57   Now is your moment.

Unknown Speaker  5:58   No, no, I love your podcasts. Awesome. Well, that's great. We're talking about the 2010 Nightmare on Elm Street remake directed by Samuel bear. And the reason why I chose it is not because it was a huge financial disaster because it actually wasn't it actually cost about $46 million or something and made three times that worldwide so it's not a financial disaster, but I do believe that it effectively the fan and Critical response for it was pretty much toxic. And it pretty much stopped the whole Platinum dunes remake trend dead in its tracks and there hasn't been any more they didn't do any more. Friday the 13th they didn't do another Texas Chainsaw at all. They shut down Platinum dunes Michael Bay's production horror remake company. So I consider it a you know, Tentpole Trauma because it wrecked the party, so to speak. Let's talk a little bit about your own personal history with the franchise. Jennifer, what what is your history with the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise?

Unknown Speaker  7:11   Well, I saw the first Nightmare on Elm Street, pretty young, I saw a lot of are probably way younger than I should have seen the pattern. But I was just really into it. And I most likely saw it on I know there's no way I didn't know but didn't have a cool enough parents to take me to the theater to see it. But I did probably catch it either on VHS or on, you know, HBO or something like that. Not you know, whenever it became available, but I first you know, heard about it through friends who had seen it older friends, you know, so I already had an idea of who Freddy was. And, you know, like how kids do you know, you're talking it up and then this happens. And he's got knives for fingers and then he says this and so you know, that was all amped up and then I saw it and I liked it. I thought it was scary. And did you see the first film first? Yes, the original Nightmare on Elm Street. You saw that first? Yes, I have the the films of the franchise that I've seen the most are the first and the third. I've seen the dream warriors. That was on TV a lot. And I really I appreciate the first one I love the first one but I probably like especially when I was younger was more into three right? But yeah, that was that was my you know an initial history with the franchise. I it's not my favorite of the horror franchise. I mean, I do like Freddy, but it's not my go to you know, there's, it's for me, it's not as consistent as some other franchises are, as far as like having a number of films that I like to go back to and enjoy. There's some that are kind of tough to get through in this one. In my opinion. Rodney, how about you? How what's your history with the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise?

Unknown Speaker  9:02   Never seen any of them?

Unknown Speaker  9:08   Was I supposed to watch?

Unknown Speaker  9:11   Actually, I wanted to say first of all, thank you guys for having me on. I didn't say that. And I think your show is really great. And it's like I'm really pumped to be here and jazzed to talk about this. I'm we're pumped to have

Unknown Speaker  9:22   you run. Yeah, I can tell from my voice. This is my pumped voice.

Unknown Speaker  9:26   I can tell that you are really jazzed. I'm sort of like we're Jenna's. I, I don't remember what my first one was. I feel like at a sleep over. Someone showed me part three. I had parents who were very lenient. I remember seeing part four by myself in a theater. I think my dad would like take me to the theater. He bought me the ticket. And then like once I went in, he'd like, go to a bar and have a drink and be like, I'll see when it's over. Right? I've never like I like them. But Jen's right. These movies are so all over the map. There are really great ones. And they're ones that are so low that like I, they're barely movies to me. But in general, they have really creative kills. And Freddy Krueger is like one of the most iconic villains of all time. It's just that there's no consistency between the movies. That's my biggest problem, right? Like, I was showing my wife them, and we just skipped over part two. I was like, you don't need part two. It's not canon watch.

Unknown Speaker  10:23   Part two is amazing.

Unknown Speaker  10:24   No, part two is you

Unknown Speaker  10:25   can't get over it. No,

Unknown Speaker  10:27   part two. I did. Part two is amazing. Ronnie, I'm sorry. Wait, I've got it. I can't let you think that I don't enjoy part two. Okay, well, let's not go down the rabbit hole.

Unknown Speaker  10:36   Fair enough. Fair enough. But look, I I enjoy all of the Friday 13th movies. I've seen them all now multiple times. So, uh, I you know, I? I've always been a Jason guy. I hope that's not a problem. But Freddie's probably my number two. No, that's not true. He's my number three. Chucky would be number two.

Unknown Speaker  10:57   I'm a Michael Meyers guy myself, and he has some of the worst movies. So it's not really about who's got the best movies, just Who's your guy? You know, I will say about the nightmare series. What I do appreciate about it is generally speaking, even the terrible ones have a certain amount of imagination. Just the premise in itself is inherently imaginative. And I kind of have to give it to Freddie for that. There's always something even in the most terrible of them. There's always some crazy interesting nightmare scenario that makes either makes me laugh, or I really enjoy. But let's move on to the subject of remakes in general, because this movie was sort of the final nail in the coffin in some ways of the whole remake trend of the 20 Arts, the early aughts. So Jen, what is your feeling on remakes in general? Like, I know, you're a big Texas Chainsaw fan, and you're not a fan of the Platinum dunes, Texas Chainsaw remake, which sort of kicked off this trend. What is your general feeling on remakes?

Unknown Speaker  12:01   Well, with remakes I kind of feel like you know, I love horror. So I'm always gonna give it a shot. And my expectations are pretty low. When I'm when I'm watching these like I have nowhere to go. But up. Texas Chainsaw I'm just so particularly protective of because it's just, there's nothing like the first Texas Chainsaw where you don't really like the franchise you just like the first movie in the second one. I mean, I pretty much do. Yeah, that's that's a fact. I mean, I appreciate I mean three is okay. And I appreciate for for being you know, the weird version that it is. But yeah, that that's not one of my favorite remakes. I did like the Friday the 13th remake. I've seen I've saw that in the theater. And I've seen that several times sense. There's Yeah, I don't know. I mean, there's there's none that are really standing out that I'm like, Oh, this is you know, I've never once been like this was better than the first one.

Unknown Speaker  12:58   Look, there are remakes that I think are really good. I'll point to the ring. And the ring is an excellent remake. Agreed. I actually, I think it comes down to how much do you care about the original film and if you saw it, for example, I've and I know this might get me kicked off. But I've never been a big Texas Chainsaw Massacre fan. Like, I just never I saw it growing up and it never, it never impacted me the way that it impacts a lot of people. So when I saw the Platinum dunes remake, I was like, Hey, this is pretty good, right? Because I have no emotional attachment to it. But when I saw the Friday the 13th one or like the recent Child's Play remake, the Friday 13th one is okay. It's got some cool shit. But like in general, remakes just anger me because they're so clearly a cash grab, right? It's just like, yo, let's just capitalize on this thing. For money sake, when the original thing was actually a thing of passion. And every once in a while the remake is done by someone who is passionate, and you end up with something good, but it's rare. I mean, you point to like, Ocean's 11 as another great example. And that movie is fucking awesome. And that's a remake. But in general, if I see it's a remake, it's probably bad and I don't care.

Unknown Speaker  14:05   I am sort of weirdly optimistic about these things. I feel I'm in a sort of strange position there as a horror fan because I feel most horror fans are not like that. But I get kind of excited with with Texas Chainsaw I was I found I was very skeptical about that one because I feel that the original is such a specific thing that you can't recapture that you can't recapture that in the 2000s you can't recreate the 70s and the grime and just the atmosphere of the time that is so inherent in that film. Were something like Freddy Krueger or Nightmare on Elm Street. As much as I love the West Craven original and I love the West Craven original I like Part Two for its craziness horse. I love dream warriors. I generally think that's probably the most fun of all of them. You know, when when they announced that they were doing the Nightmare on Elm Street remake or reboot or whatever, they were pitching it as I was actually kind of excited at the idea of it because I thought, well, there's an idea that you could do now, it would still be just as relevant now. And with modern special effects, you might be able to really take it somewhere really crazy. So I was game for it. And, you know, I felt that most horror fans were definitely not.

Unknown Speaker  15:31   Yeah, I was I was up for it. I saw it in the theater. It was again, though, the way that I like I said, I approach remakes in general, where I didn't have the the optimism that you did. I was just kind of like, well, let's, you know, let's see what they're gonna do with it. Because I'm just, like I said, happy to get another horror movie. And, you know, it's, I do like, Friday a lot. And I want and I do like, Jackie Earle, Haley. And let's, let's see what's going to happen.

Unknown Speaker  15:59   So Jackie Earle Haley is Freddie was a draw was sort of a draw for you.

Unknown Speaker  16:03   Sort of because because I'm definitely a fan. Like, I like him a lot. I mean, there's several of his films. And he was this is when he was, you know, starting to make a comeback and do more stuff. And yeah, I was I was I was game.

Unknown Speaker  16:18   You know, it's funny. I'm with you, Sebastian. On this one. I was excited. I remember thinking, hey, platinum dunes has pretty much delivered above average contents to me so far, and it was rated R, and hey, they got Jackie Earle Haley, and he's done some great shit. I was jazz. I thought this was going to be a pretty good time, you know? So yeah, I saw that. I think opening weekend Jackie Earle

Unknown Speaker  16:41   Haley was sort of coming off of watchmen at the time playing roar shack, which, you know, has some similarities to Freddy Krueger. So I think people were excited to see him take on the role. If they were excited about it. They were excited to see him take it on because of horshack. And because of the other stuff he had done, he had done little children or something like that before, which had a sort of similar type of icky character in it. So it seemed pretty promising. Now the film is directed by Samuel Bayer. Do you guys know what his claim to fame is?

Unknown Speaker  17:17   Yes, I do now, but only because I looked it up.

Unknown Speaker  17:20   He directed the the Smells Like Teen Spirit video from Nirvana. And he also directed the bee girl video for Blind Melon. So you know, no rain. He's a guy who looked clearly has some visual talent. The weird thing and I remember thinking this at the time is, why isn't he directed any feature film until now, this was his first feature film, as a director, you would have thought coming out of you know, the 90s when Fincher and other guys who were video directors were sort of becoming big directors, you would have thought that this guy would have gotten his shot way before 2010 and Nightmare on Elm Street remake. But this was his first movie, I don't think most people knew that his of his pedigree going in. So I don't think it really made much of a difference to most people. You know, we get our sort of opening scene. You know, the movie sort of starts off I think like most horror movies of the era with a kind of creepy credit sequence where we get some flashes of little kids playing hopscotch and stuff. And then we get our sort of opening sequence, which takes place in the diner. We have the Twilight's Kellan Lutz as this tormented teen, and he sort of wandering around in the kitchen looking, you know, he clearly has gone into sort of a dream sequence and there's like, you know, hog heads and stuff. And we sort of get a glimpse of Rooney Mara as Nancy. Freddy shows up, and he wakes up. And Katie Cassidy, who's playing, I believe her name is Chris, but she's clearly modeled after the Tina character in the original. She was also in the show arrow, she shows up and they have this sort of conversation. He's initially just like, asking for coffee and normal serve them. So he's like being ignored. And you don't know at first, but he's dreaming. But then when he goes back into the kitchen, and it seems like he's in a boiler room, yeah.

Unknown Speaker  19:23   And then the all the gross like, animal heads and stuff, but not good. And then we see the glove swipe Adam, and then he then then we see him wake up, and his hand is cut. And so yeah, you know, it's 100% clear. That's what's going on. He was dreaming. And then he's talking with Chris, and she was also in some other remakes as well. She was in when a stranger calls and the, I think the black Christmas remake to where you see Nancy and she's talking to the guy from Jennifer's body, and there's like that's going on in question. Quintin Kyle gallon I think his name is Yeah. And yeah, so then we were that's all going on and then Dean has passed out again and then we get the him with the steak knife. And yeah, it's I don't know, I thought like, okay, we're starting off good here like this is like, I didn't see that coming Fred shows up and basically makes him stab himself in the neck with a steak knife. Yeah. And I thought that was I thought we were starting off strong.

Unknown Speaker  20:29   Overall, there's something weird about the scene, the way the movie starts. And maybe it's intentional that like, they want you to, they want to throw you off your foot right from the start because you're in a dream. But there's something about that whole opening scene where they just like they're cramming every character in the movie into this one diner. And the, the, the guy who kills himself, Dean, he's doing that thing in horror movies, where like, he can't just put a sentence together to explain what's going on. Right? He's just like, he's a mess. And he's like, Ah, man, don't close. Don't go to sleep, man. Don't you can't sleep. I'm like, explain to her why. And she's like, oh, you're just imagining things and, and like the hogs heads boiling in the in the pots and shit. This is going to be a recurring thing I'm going to talk about which is that the dream sequences in this movie are so lame and unimaginative. And I will give credit that when he stabs himself in the neck. That was awesome. It looks really good. Yeah. I also want to point out, did you guys catch that? I don't think went back because I went back and watch the trailer. This is clearly not the original opening they shot. He does in the trailer.

Unknown Speaker  21:33   Not only am I aware of that, but I saw an advanced screening of this movie. Oh, shit, yes. And it had a completely different opening sequence that this whole diner sequence was a reshoot the original scene that I saw an advanced screening it took place at a party. They were just they were just at a house party.

Unknown Speaker  21:55   That's what you see in the trailer. And so this diner scene feels like a reshoot.

Unknown Speaker  22:00   It totally is. 100%. That explains it. Yeah. So and I agree with what you're saying. It's, it seems like they're like, well, we got to get all the characters set up in the scene. And I think one of the drawbacks of this film, in terms of just its narrative is that it really sort of accelerates everything so that you can tell they're just like, Okay, we got to get the kids set up, you got to know who the kids are. And, you know, they're all having these dreams. And we got to know about the dreams and you know, like by the second scene, we're at a funeral. And now Chris is having more is having another sort of dream was that she sees her little self in front of the, in front of the coffin and for the Fred's glove comes out and slashes are. So you know, we're getting, we're getting thrown right into it. And we're learning about the gang and their dreams. And we're meeting Connie Britton and Clancy Brown as the parents. So yeah, I feel like there's definitely a sort of sweat Enos to the setup of the film where they're like, okay, we just got to get this thing going, like, let's go, let's go, let's go. This

Unknown Speaker  23:05   movie has no chill. That's what it comes down to. It's constantly, it's constantly trying to insist how cool and scary it is in every moment. And therefore it never has any dread. Again, there's, you know, the shooting of the diner scene, like, I like the lighting of it. I thought that was cool. I think

Unknown Speaker  23:21   it looks good.

Unknown Speaker  23:23   Visually, it looks good. Which I would expect from a music video director.

Unknown Speaker  23:26   Absolutely. Right. It's got a slickness to it. That is sort of in line with the Platinum dunes remakes in general. But I do think I think my primary disappointment in a lot of the dream sequences is really that they're just kind of rehashing what happened in the original film. And in some cases, they're doing it way worse. Yeah, like the porn Fred comes out of the wall. It's really underwhelming because it just looks like this CGI blob, peeling off the wall, where in the original Freddie? New notice I'm differentiating between Fred and Freddie. And that's because Jennifer and I own a Fred Krueger, action figure, his name? Krueger, and it's Jackie Earle Haley in his like gardener uniform.

Unknown Speaker  24:17   So you're the one who bought that.

Unknown Speaker  24:19   Yes. We go to Nancy's house and she's chillin with her iPod. She's doing like creepy drawings because she's a, you know, disturbed artist. That's when we get Freddie coming through the wall, which looks terrible. I think it looks so bad. And as I was saying, in the original, the effect is so cheap. It's just some tarp or something covered with paint. And in there, there's somebody pushing through the tarp. But it looks so much better than this CGI nonsense, which I'm sure was a lot more expensive. And just to put it out there. I'm not the you know, practical effects are always He's better guy. I'm just not I I like both things. I love a great practical effect. And I love a well done CGI effect. So I, you know, I'm up for them using state of the art computer imagery to accentuate Freddy and his powers. But this is just terrible. And it really sort of sets a bad taste in your mouth early on,

Unknown Speaker  25:24   right? But it's also like in the original there's like a creepiness the way it's slowly the wall slowly pushes in, right? Yeah. And this one is really like a blob that goes, ah, like as though they're trying to make a jumpscare out of it is the combination of the goofiness of the gras mixed with it's literally like the worst CG I've ever seen. It's tear it's like langdell lirs level in this one moment.

Unknown Speaker  25:45   Yeah, it's it's really bad. Well,

Unknown Speaker  25:47   I think also, it's it's not only is it doesn't look good, it's like it's such a forgettable moment. Whereas in the original it's, it's a memorable moment. Like this is it happens. So like you said, it's like rod happens so fast that it's like, if I would not have made a note of this. I would have forgotten it. Yeah, like that. That's and I've seen this movie multiple times. Now. Why? I don't know. But I have. Yeah, I don't know. I just think it's some it's it's such a blip on the radar. It's like really quick with her. She's like sketching this like Fred blobs out and then cut to where it Chris next where Chris like talking about to her mom about the photos. Like why doesn't she remember being in these photos? Because they had photos at the funeral? And where are more photos? Like I don't know. How do I know? You know, she's she's having the whole issue that she didn't think she met Dean until high school. Yeah. So like, how is she in these high kid photos? And mom's been super cagey about it. Yeah. So yeah, but it feels like that's that's how quickly it happens. Is this like blob with Nancy? Hey, Chris. Chris has questions.

Unknown Speaker  26:57   Yeah, it sort of plays into rod nice. This has no, this movie has no chill.

Unknown Speaker  27:01   There's so many, like, very forced, and sudden jumpscares you know, and like to be like when I was watching it. I genuinely was trying to watch it as though I've never seen A Nightmare on Elm Street film before I was trying to judge it as though it's just a movie called The nightmare killer. Right? And even under those criteria, it's so forced, you know, it's just like, there's so many moments of these just like a sudden CUT TO Freddy Krueger jumping out of the shadows with the loudest Stinger in the world. And then the scene moves on. Again, if I if I had if I use let me talk for an hour, I would just talk about how you shouldn't be allowed to make a horror movie unless you love horror movies. And if I'm sure you've done your research, but apparently Michael Bay offered this movie to Samuel Bayer twice and he turned it down twice. He basically had to convince him What a financial windfall, it would be for him. Right? And I gotta tell you, if you're a director, and someone offers you a smash, imagine someone said you can direct the next Freddy Krueger movie, would you

Unknown Speaker  28:04   say no, I would pop a million boners

Unknown Speaker  28:08   there's no say this. This guy said no. Thank you twice. So this guy doesn't deserve to be directing a Freddy Krueger movie. And that's what you end up getting is a movie that comes from someone who doesn't get what makes Freddy Krueger cool. And what makes movies scary, huh?

Unknown Speaker  28:23   Yeah, I mean, I mostly agree with that. But I do sometimes think we put too much of a premium on filmmakers being fans of things like, oh, if they're not a fan, they shouldn't do it. I don't really care if somebody is a fan of the movie or the property or not. If they can make a good movie, they can make a good movie. I would be more concerned about the fact that Samuel Baird never made a movie in general. Sure, let's add

Unknown Speaker  28:51   that on the pie like

Unknown Speaker  28:52   that. I would be more as from a producing standpoint that would give me pause more. But one thing I think he did a pretty okay job with is a cast. I think the cast is mostly pretty good.

Unknown Speaker  29:05   I like the cast. I like all of the kids. I'm like I said I recognized you know, a couple from other horror movies. And then of course, the like the adults like they've got some heavy hitters. I mean, Connie Britton's, a great actor, and so was Clancy Brown. I mean, those are the the two most recognizable to me. And of course, Jackie Earle, Haley.

Unknown Speaker  29:27   I did miss the drunken mom from the original

Unknown Speaker  29:30   Nancy's drunken mom. Yeah, I know this mom Connie Britton had it way more together. She was way more on top of things. She should have been into pills or

Unknown Speaker  29:37   something. You know, they should have had gotten her into oxy. Just to modernize it.

Unknown Speaker  29:43   Yeah. Missed up missed opportunity. I think

Unknown Speaker  29:46   weirdly, Rooney Mara kind of comes off the worst, which is too bad because she's our Nancy. I feel like the other quote unquote teens do pretty well. I like Kyle gulnur I actually like the actress who plays Chris. I think she does a pretty good job. But Rooney seems a little lost. She seems like she doesn't know what she's supposed to be doing. You know, her characters kind of supposed to be the dark one, I guess, because she does dark drawings. But she works at the diner, and she's kind of got, you know, a little sass to her. So it's kind of hard to get a bead on her. I think, you know, I think she's done some pretty good work over the years. But this, I feel like she seems a little a little lost here.

Unknown Speaker  30:37   You know, I see where you're coming from. I quit the whole time. I couldn't decide how I thought about Rooney Mara, for me. I think overall, she works because like, I believe she's in high school, and she's got a kind of a young face. And I yeah, I don't really know her as a character. But I get that she's like, she's tired and sad. And then she draws sad pictures, right? Yeah. For me. The problem for me, it is Chris. And it's not because of her performance. It's because she looks like she's 45 years old. And I did not believe for one second. She's in high school. Like, literally when she's like talking to her mom, I thought they were like friends, like at wine book club or something. I expected a scene for her to go pick up kids. And I couldn't understand why you would cat like she's clearly like 29 to 32 years old, and she made this movie. And I was like, why can't they just get actual, like 18 year old people to play 18 year old people. Having said that, if you can look past that. Yeah, she's okay. I don't think anyone in this movie is doing what I would call a good job. Everyone's doing a, an okay, job. If I had to give an acting award out. I'd give it to Clinton. I liked his performance the best.

Unknown Speaker  31:43   Yeah. Well, I mean, I think that's fair. But I also think that when you look back at pretty much any horror franchise cast, there are very few where you say, these are all award worthy performances. A lot of times the actors acquit themselves well, but it's not like I felt that these, this was all on par. They were all doing what they were asked to do and doing it. Well, but the big question is, Jackie Earle, Haley. Okay. Oh, boy, we are all pretty excited about Jackie, as Freddy or Fred, as it were. I remember seeing, you know, production stills of his makeup and I was like, Well, okay, I see what they're doing. They're going for like a legit burn victim look here rather than the stylized look of of Robert Anglin. And let's just get it out of the way. You know, Robert, England is iconic is Freddy Krueger, there's, you know, there's no way that anybody's ever going to play this character and not be compared unfavorably to to Robert England. It's his role, but I appreciated Well, they're going sort of a different direction here. They're trying to make it look more realistic. And you know, I did like his little tic where he he rubs his knives together. I thought that was a the one kind of cool thing he did. But I have to say, overall, I was fun kind of let down. One of my big problems is and this is not his fault. But he's a short man. And you can tell he's a short man. And a lot of the scenes, you know, you're, you're like, are we watching leprechaun? Is he? What are we doing leprechaun here? I mean, you know, he's just not a big guy. And it's kind of hard to make this little dude. be super scary. I think he has the attitude. He hasn't. I mean, he I wouldn't say he has the Freddie attitude, but he has an attitude. He has a very scary voice and a scary presence. But overall, I just found his stature and his look to be a little off putting.

Unknown Speaker  34:03   I had high hopes. Because I am such a fan. It's just it's this really, it just doesn't really work for me. Yeah, I

Unknown Speaker  34:12   don't have to apologize.

Unknown Speaker  34:15   I mean, but but I really wanted it to you know, and it's like even the semoran I was like, I don't know, it's just and i think it's it's just because Robert England is so iconic. I just that's who Freddie is to me and I know this is Fred Krueger cuz that's what we're referring to him is in the remake. And you know, I appreciate them trying to do something different and it's not his acting or anything like that. It's just I don't know, it's this the the character looks it just looks he looks strange. It's not scary. It's just it's not even like it's it's hard to look at or off putting or anything like that. It just doesn't I don't know. It just doesn't work for me,

Unknown Speaker  34:59   either. I'm totally with you, Jen. It's just wrong. And, and I am, again, trying to let go of the fact that he can't be Robert England, right? Like, you can't live up to that. So I kind of expected him to do something really different with the roll. And I'm with you, Subash. And the cool thing he does is when he like, rubs his fingers together, and they make that blade sound as like, yeah, that's cool. But that's it. I think the look of him. He looks stupid. Like, it's like, he's got these weird like, kind of buck teeth that make them look kind of dorky, right? And I know they're going for like a burn look, but like, he doesn't look disgusting. And he looks kind of gross, but he's not scary looking. And on top of that, what they do with his voice is like, he never sounds like he's in the scene. All of his his his dialogue has been recorded in ADR? Yes. And it's just like, it's like floating digitally on top of the scene. Yes. So it, I know that that's a choice to like, make it cool and creepy. But the whole time I was sitting there, I was like, why does this not work? Like, why is this not cool? And I was like, I don't know. He's just, he's just not cool. He's like, slow moving. His lines aren't very good. His delivery isn't really good. bad job, bad job. I was gonna say maybe you shouldn't hire famous actors. I'd rather just have no buddies playing my monsters. I remember reading a little bit about the production. And I think that the reason why his lines are so heavily ADR is because they rewrote a lot of his dialogue. They weren't happy with whatever the initial stuff was. And so they just kind of kept redoing it in post. And I feel like you can kind of hear a little bit of annoyance in Jackie Earle Haley, his voice, like, I've got to know, what's this line?

Unknown Speaker  36:48   Yeah, his lines are weird. Like, they're trying to be funny. But they're not really funny, cuz they're in this really tough, tough position of trying to live up to Robert, England's sort of famous one lines and taunting. You know, I think the only one I really liked is when he says like, Why are you screaming? I haven't even cut you yet. That one I'm like, yeah, that's pretty good. You know, but you know, he, you know, most of them are kind of creepy in a bad way. They play up the sirt, the child molester angle of the character that was only really hinted at and wisely. So I believe in the original. And so, you know, his lines are sort of coming from this perverted place a lot of the time, and I really don't think that helps sell the lovability of

Unknown Speaker  37:43   Freddie. That's kind of like what's I think doesn't sit well, for myself and sounds like you and probably Rodney as well as it's like, because we just knew him, you know, originally as a child murderer, and which is implied, you know, we don't there wasn't just killing there was probably other things that were going on that were terrible as well. However, now, it's all about the yuck stuff. And it's like, that's just that can't be funny. You can't have like, one liners and like be like creepy like that. And it's like, you just don't know what to do with that more. yuck, yuck.

Unknown Speaker  38:19   And less yuck, I think is the problem.

Unknown Speaker  38:23   You know what I think it is? Original Freddy Krueger, he there's a certain gleeful pneus to the fact that he gets to kill people in dreams. Even in the first movie where he has very few lines. You can tell he enjoys what he's doing. But this version is more like a suffering burn victim who's like condemned to this hellish fate. And he's, you know, he wants revenge, but it doesn't seem like he really loves being the dream Master, if you will, or whatever I know. He's not the remaster is actually that other girl but whatever, you know, I mean, yeah, yeah. And that's not even touching all the child molesters stuff, which I assume we're gonna go into more depth. Because that's like a major change. We're we'll

Unknown Speaker  39:01   save that for the last act because that's when it really comes into play. But I feel that it's in there even in these you know, opening sequences. He sort of leaning into this being creepy in a weird sort of subtly sexual way.

Unknown Speaker  39:17   Yeah,

Unknown Speaker  39:18   I did kind of think just because it's so weird. We moved into the second act. We have Chris, she you know, she's kind of freaking out. She's sort of learning about this past the shared past that they all have in this preschool. And you know, she really knew all these her friends, but they didn't. They don't remember each other. And there's this sort of dream sequence where she goes out and she's like, cheers her dog barking which the dog it was a really cute dog, but she goes out and the dog is Rufus. Yes. And but Rufus is dead. Fred has killed Rufus only in the dream, I think. I don't think Rufus is dead in real life unless Rufus was dreaming and He killed Rufus and Rufus his dream, in which case they should have definitely have had a dog dream. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker  40:05   I wanted to see the dog dream go into a nightmare like the dog running around the boiler room chasing bones that keep running away from him.

Unknown Speaker  40:13   I have a bone to pick with the boiler room, but let me get there in a second. I did kind of like it in an ironic way when she goes out to find Rufus and Rufus is dead and Fred's like, I was just petting him with his claws, I was like, you know, for this movie, that was a pretty good line. But really, you know, a lot of these things that happen in this second act build up are just sort of replays of what happened in the original

Unknown Speaker  40:44   one thing I think that was different was I don't recall I don't think I've seen the first one a million times I don't think that Broadcom to Nancy's house in the first one. Like is the guy Jesse? I don't think so. I mean, I only remember Glenn coming to her bedroom window.

Unknown Speaker  41:03   No, I don't think he does.

Unknown Speaker  41:05   I don't think so either. So that was something that was a little different as we get Jesse like stopping off at Nancy's right, like it covered in blood and all of that

Unknown Speaker  41:13   the suit only comes in through bedroom windows, he doesn't

Unknown Speaker  41:16   know what front doors are for. Not at all, just all about the windows. And one

Unknown Speaker  41:20   thing I want to say about the Chris murder scene is in the original, it was done with the old revolving room trick. And you see her kind of climbing the walls, because they've shot it with a stationary camera. But with a room that goes around in this, it's very clearly, they probably have a set with no real ceiling and they've got her on wires. And they're like throwing around the room and wires and then digitally erasing the wires in the ceiling and stuff and it's not bad looking. It looks it looks fine. But when you compare it to the ingenuity of the original, it once again comes up short

Unknown Speaker  42:01   you're spot on like it again, the the original is so much like it's so cool the way that original scene is shot. And this one she's flying around, and it's just not as powerful because it's not shot from the perspective of the guy on the floor. Her death is cool when she gets like split down the middle and blood wells up like it. It's a violent scene and I was like okay, yeah, but can we just briefly talk about how much time we spend with Chris as like the main character like yeah, we're on Chris for I didn't time it but it felt like 30 minutes before we actually like I know you we meet Rooney Mara, but it basically it tries to do the psycho thing where it's like, this blonde girl is the main character, but gotcha. And I'm like, but Ivor I know Rooney's the main character's name is Nancy, why are we wasting all this time?

Unknown Speaker  42:48   Yeah. Well, you know, I guess they're trying to fake out the younger crowd who is not familiar with the original, totally fair. But as somebody who is a fan of the series, it does sort of feel like they're being weirdly too slavish to the original, at least in that first half of the second act. Now, as the second act goes on, we, you know, we get things that are sort of new additions to the story, in the whole preschool backstory is not in the original, they have a vague sort of implication of stuff like that, and the original, but they really lean into it here. I don't mind that. I think it's, you know, it's I'm just glad that they're doing something kind of different, at least at that point.

Unknown Speaker  43:36   I will say that, out of all the things they could have named the preschool, they call it the bad ham squad. And I was like, Yeah, I know. It says bad, but that's bad ham. Yeah. Which is a really weird name. The name did anything. But the one the one thing I will give this movie some credit for, I mean, there's a couple others, but the fact that they all knew each other when they were kids, and they all went to the same school and interacted with Fred Krueger when he was alive. It makes more sense why the parents would be dismissive of their their nightmares, right? because they'd say your, your they would think you're having traumatic nightmares of that guy that molested you. That makes sense to me. As opposed to in the other vert in the original where it's like, That's funny. My daughter's dreaming of that man I murdered that she never met. Right? Yeah. So I and I do like the the idea of like, Rooney or Chris, whoever you want to say discovers it that like finding out that they're all connected and finding the photograph, and I do give credit for that because it does create like a breadcrumb trail for her to follow. Yeah, I didn't mind it at all.

Unknown Speaker  44:43   I actually also wanted to bring up there was something that I had forgotten about, and that I saw on this watch, which takes us to the bad ham school. It was that you know, Nancy's in the tub, and you know, you see Freddie's glove. Come on. But I'm like, and I was like, here we go, you know, we're just going to do what we did with that before. And they did a little differently, which I appreciated that. And also, they brought some technology into it because she had a cell phone alarm to wake her up now, which that wasn't available

Unknown Speaker  45:18   cell phones, which felt really outdated. Now they like they're super outdated 2010.

Unknown Speaker  45:24   Man, when I see outdated cell phones and movies.

Unknown Speaker  45:29   Those phones are so old.

Unknown Speaker  45:33   Anyway. Yeah. But yeah, I appreciated the addition of the school and that that whole thing, because I really did like that from the original as well, like in which they didn't go in as deep. But you know, just that it's a creepy, the creepy concept. So then after that,

Unknown Speaker  45:51   after that whole scene, like Quentin, basically, she wakes up in the tub, and Clinton calls and tells her Jesse is dead. Then we get this pre reg requisite scene and every horror movie where Quentin is researching. He's running low on his pharmaceutical speed, but he's researching on gigablast. All about dreams and stuff at the like coffee shop library. He and Nancy gigablast. The batum preschool. You know, how is fat ham? Bad? I mean, I'm like, maybe it's a reference to john batum, the director of Saturday Night Fever and the 1979 Dracula, but that's probably a stretch. And you know that I believe this is when they set up the idea of micro naps where you can you can just be so sort of fall asleep just for a few seconds. I have a feeling we might have saw an argument about this. So I'm excited. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker  46:56   I feel it's growing.

Unknown Speaker  46:59   I feel the opposite of whatever you I

Unknown Speaker  47:02   kind of like the micro naps idea. What do you think about that? Rodney? Do you like my

Unknown Speaker  47:11   fuck micro naps, bro.

Unknown Speaker  47:13   I think this is the dumbest mugging thing in the entire movie. And from this point forward, it becomes such a laughingstock of a film because of the introduction of this concept. I I literally hate it. I it basically is an excuse to have non stop jumpscares from this point forward. Yeah, I do like them?

Unknown Speaker  47:36   Well, first of all, it ups the stakes a little bit. Because you know, we're not just waiting for them to get tired and fall asleep. Now things can kind of happen at the at like any moment. And at one point there, they're back at the high school, I think. And that's when we get Nancy seeing the Chris character in the body bag, which is another visual reference to something that happens and the original one, again, not done as well. I totally agree with you. And you definitely are right, that now they've got licensed to throw jumpscares at you at a dizzying pace. So I'll give you that, that that is a noxious byproduct of the micro naps. But I do think that there's some fun to be had with them. And it allows things to happen, like, you know, one character to walk down a hallway and see, you know, scary vision and, and whatever. And it also allows for Quentin to have a micro nap. As he's at his swim meet. I really appreciated how pasty or Kyle Kyle gulnar or whatever it was, he's like really pasty. And you can tell that he's probably doesn't swim. And he's looking really uncomfortable in his little Speedo suit. But you know, he has a micro nap. And he wakes up in like a pool in a warehouse district. Like he just wakes up in this pool. And it's like outside. I mean, I guess it's a dream, so whatever. But then we're sort of treated to the origin quote, unquote, of Fred, where the parents are chasing him into this warehouse room, and they throw Molotov cocktails in the room and burn him alive. And as he's burning alive, he rips off his jacket to expose the striped sweater. Which I felt was it was a real forced reveal of the sweater.

Unknown Speaker  49:44   I'm like, bro, I've been watching your movie for an hour. I already know what his sweater looks like. This is not a reveal. Obviously that's the bad guy. Wait, I need to park on this moment real quick because I know you want to talk about the origin but that swim meets is the worst scene I've seen in almost any horror movie and it The scene I referenced whenever I talk about this to anyone the guy falls asleep while swimming. He's in the middle of a swim meet and he falls asleep. Someone wrote that and they like put it in a movie. It makes no sense, guys, come on. It's

Unknown Speaker  50:16   it's a micro nap right

Unknown Speaker  50:18   now, he's he just nodded off for a second in the middle of swimming.

Unknown Speaker  50:24   That's how powerful they are.

Unknown Speaker  50:26   You know what I'm gonna stay awake for three days straight just to see I want to see if I can fall asleep while I'm making a sandwich and then just wake up with the sandwich in my mouth. That's actually way more believable than swimming. All right, I've said my piece about this.

Unknown Speaker  50:38   But you guys we didn't we we forgot to talk about this is right before we get into the how Fred was burned with the Molotov cocktails or whatever. We did have that flashback. And I think we would we have to take a moment for this. Where we get to see Fred Krueger as a gardener. Mm hmm. Yeah, he's not. He's not burned. No, Lacy's looks very, very nice. And I got it. He's got like a kind of a strange Southern accent. And he's he's, you know, living in the basement of the preschool. Yes.

Unknown Speaker  51:13   Nothing, nothing weird about that. I mean, you know,

Unknown Speaker  51:16   be there.

Unknown Speaker  51:18   And just the gardener. He lived in the basement of the preschool. And boy, he loved you kids.

Unknown Speaker  51:24   Kids were his life. And we see him just so happy with all the kids.

Unknown Speaker  51:29   You have a job get an apartment. Why are you living in the basement of the school? And how come everyone is okay with this?

Unknown Speaker  51:34   Right? Like, how why were any parents okay with sending their kids to a school where the weirdo gardener lives in the basement? And it's okay. And he he like, it's okay that they go down there and do like art projects with him or

Unknown Speaker  51:50   whatever. Honey, did you fill out that application for the bad ham school? You know, they have their own on premises gardener slash caretakers slash kid blodger. babysitter?

Unknown Speaker  52:04   Yeah. So yeah, it seems a little seems like, you know, Fred got caught doing some stuff. So so they burn him alive. There's a really sort of bad moment where he runs out of the burning building, and he's on fire. But here's, here's my real problem with all of this is, throughout this movie, both before and after this scene, we get boiler room imagery. There's no friggin boiler room in any of this origin. Like he's not in a boiler room. Is he supposed to be in a boiler room and they burn them all? I mean, in the original movie, they burn him alive in a boiler room. And that's why the boiler room is sort of his primary dream, hunting ground. Like that's why he's always drawing people into the boiler room is because that's where he died. This isn't a boiler room. It's like some sort of like relay room. There's like, it's not a boiler room. And this always really bugged me about the movie, like why does he bring children? Why does he bring these teenagers into his dream boiler room, he didn't die in one

Unknown Speaker  53:09   because when he was alive, he always wanted a boiler.

Unknown Speaker  53:15   Like one day, I'm gonna move out of this preschool basement, the boiler room and My dream is

Unknown Speaker  53:21   to a suite boiler room.

Unknown Speaker  53:24   And your parents denied me that I'm gonna kill you all.

Unknown Speaker  53:29   You're totally right, it I it makes no sense in this movie, because because the answer to your question anytime you have a question, it's because that's what happened in the original right, I'll just do it again. But I come back to the point that the director doesn't actually like the movie. So he doesn't care about answering these things with any detail.

Unknown Speaker  53:47   Yeah, it really even when I first saw the movie, and I think I was a lot more forgiving on the movie than probably either view and move upon my first view. Well, no, actually, no, my first viewing I was not forgiving of it because I saw a test screening and it was pretty much resoundingly terrible. And we all gave it terrible marks. But then I saw it again, when it came out, however many months later, and I was like, Well, okay, they kind of improved it like, this is better, you know, good. I'm glad you took my notes.

Unknown Speaker  54:15   If I've learned anything from your from your podcast, it's that instead of just watching good movies, if I just watch the bad ones over and over, I'll start to like them.

Unknown Speaker  54:23   Yeah, I call it force feeding Rodney.

Unknown Speaker  54:27   Yeah, I've seen the Wolf Man 42 times now it's pretty good.

Unknown Speaker  54:32   It's It is hard in this movie. I'll give you that. We then we move on to Nancy watching a video blog because those were pretty hip back then. 2010 we get the Asian actor from the Friday the 13th remake I don't remember his name so I'm sorry.

Unknown Speaker  54:49   it's um it's it's an it well, I don't know what is his name in the I wrote down his name was Martin neon. I think that was his character names character that is Yeah. I don't know what his real name is off the top of my

Unknown Speaker  55:02   head. Anyway, he's in the Friday the 13th remake his main characters, and he's pretty good in that. You know?

Unknown Speaker  55:08   Yeah. No, he's He's good. He's like, kind of this kind of a stoner in that, right? Yes.

Unknown Speaker  55:13   Yeah, I think he's the dude, he gets the screwdriver. And

Unknown Speaker  55:16   here, he just talks into the screen. And then he's, you know, talking about how he can't sleep. And now he's being tormented by Friday. And then he like, smashes his head against the screen. So it's basically a snuff blog, because we are going to assume he's dead after that. And then we sort of get this, you know, Clinton comes back from his dream and he confronts Clancy Brown, who's his father, who is he a guidance counselor, he, he's a teacher at the school, but they never make it clear. There's

Unknown Speaker  55:49   I thought there was a line about him being the guidance counselor.

Unknown Speaker  55:52   That's what I thought, too. That was the only thing I could grasp on to for all i know, he was the principal, I'd have no idea. He and in Nancy confront dad about killing Fred. He says they might have made it up. This is also a frustrating moment in the movie, because at that point, I'm like, Oh, that's a good twist. Like they did it just didn't even happen. Like he was a he was a falsely accused. I feel like if they had gone in that direction, and I'm sure there is a draft of the script, where they did go in that direction, and then they chickened out. But I feel like that was a potentially a good twist that Freddy could have Fred could have been innocent.

Unknown Speaker  56:36   Even though I've seen this before. I'd forgotten that until when it popped up this time. And I was like, Oh, yeah, they're doing a whole like the McMartin trial, you know, type thing that what was that the preschool where you know, that the owners were accused of something? Yeah. Like, they were doing that the satanic panic stuff or whatever. Yeah. Which was all bullshit. So I yeah, I was like, oh, they're gonna do this now because that was the, you know, Quintin and Nancy were, you know, saying to Clancy Brown, we were just kids, we could have said anything, why didn't you go to the police? And I thought, okay, yeah, let's let's get this makes it even better that, you know, he wasn't a creep. Like he was unjustly murdered by the mob.

Unknown Speaker  57:17   Well, and it gives gives Fred a real reason to come after them, which I'd never really felt that he had even in the original film. He's like, why is he it never really made total sense to me. Why Fred is after the kids. And I felt like this cuz

Unknown Speaker  57:34   he's like, you guys totally stop my murder spree. And I'm pissed. So I'm gonna kill your kids. Like,

Unknown Speaker  57:41   I guess that's as good of a reason as any to come back from the dead.

Unknown Speaker  57:46   That's enough. That's sometimes that's all you need.

Unknown Speaker  57:48   Well, I yeah, I just think it would have been a nice layer two, you might have actually sympathized with Fred at that point that you know, when he's coming back for vengeance, because they really screwed him over. But they back out of that the climax, which is kind of lame. Okay, so now, here's where we're going to resume our fight about the micro naps because quainton has run out of his pharmaceutical speed. So they go to the pharmacy. And so that we had get this whole sort of set piece that takes place in the pharmacy where Quentin's trying to get his drugs, the pharmacist isn't going to let him have his drugs, Nancy's having micro naps in the car, and she burned, you know, she's got to burn herself with the car lighter, to stay awake. And then she goes into the pharmacy. And I think this is the best scene in the movie, for one reason, because it's not doing anything that was done in the original and doing it poorly. Because I think it's really cool despite the presence of the boiler room. I think it's really cool when she's sort of toggling in between. As Fred's coming down the the aisle and he's swiping in the dream and stuffs falling off the aisles shelves as he swiping. I feel like they really use the micro nap idea really effectively there to make a cool scene. Something we haven't seen before and A Nightmare on Elm Street film Rodney Tell me why I'm wrong.

Unknown Speaker  59:17   Because the scenes not really that good, because like, I like that she's attacked at the drugstore. But first of all, she knows she's being hunted by this like, vicious dream killer, but she keeps refusing any kind of drugs that will keep her awake, which is really weird. And then on top of that, he's like, I'm gonna go into the well lit drugstore. Do you want to come with me? She's like, now I'll just sit in the quiet dark car where I totally won't fall asleep. So it's already not making sense. But it also is when she gets attacked. Oh my god, how you know, like, it's the it's the way the editing is right? It's again, it's that opposite of being subtle. It's it's like cutting back and forth between the reality and the dream. Yeah, it's quality swipes and like knock some shit off the shelf. It's just like i don't know i think that i think the movie is so mediocre up to this point that you're just happy that Freddy Krueger slash nadder Are you

Unknown Speaker  1:00:10   saying me personally? Are you saying yes you know I honestly I honestly think there's some like clever filmmaking there I think it's a clever conceit it just i think it's it's got a level of ingenuity to it that I appreciate and so desperately craving in this movie.

Unknown Speaker  1:00:31   Well actually, I think I said to you when we were watching this I was like, Oh, I this is this is like the one thing that I remember from watching this before is because I remember the the scene I remember with the with the cigarette lighter in the car and everything. And I do also I have to tell you Rodney I was frustrated as hell the entire time with her not partaking in some sort of drugs of some sort. Because Yeah, thank you. Come on. Like Yeah, no that that was frustrating for me as well cuz I'm just like, I you know, I don't know what your deal is as to why you won't do this. And I trust me I get it. I come from a place of that as well. But we're dealing with Fred and micro naps. Well at least Nancy in the original she's like popping like no sleep or whatever like yeah

Unknown Speaker  1:01:17   oh don't know dose or whatever. All it's not on Naka. Nagas. Yes. Funny. Yeah, but I forget what it's called, like, no sleep or can't

Unknown Speaker  1:01:27   sleep. Yeah. Or something. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker  1:01:28   So yeah, she should least be doing like five hour energy drinks like crazy or whatever. Isn't that what the kids like to do? Get all hopped up on those, like snort Red Bull. Yeah, they should have done that.

Unknown Speaker  1:01:41   You forgot to mention important thing, which is that they tell you if you if you if you don't sleep for like 70 hours, you'll go into a coma that lasts forever. And then that's important later,

Unknown Speaker  1:01:52   I totally forgot that I that's one of those things that is just glossed over me even though I've seen this movie more times than any human being should be legally allowed to see it. But it does come back later. But I did not read forever register that they set that up in there. It's

Unknown Speaker  1:02:09   like when they're doing all their research, right? Okay, when they're using when they're using gigablast.

Unknown Speaker  1:02:14   I was just so hyped up on gigablast and micro naps that I just went right over my head.

Unknown Speaker  1:02:19   I kind of want to do like a comprehensive listing of fake search engines for movies and like what's the best what's the what's the champion? It might be gigabit and

Unknown Speaker  1:02:28   then start it like may do it as a start up and beat Google become masters of the universe.

Unknown Speaker  1:02:34   To be fair, I don't want to shit all over this drugstore scene. I'm going to go back after this and just rewatch that part because like maybe it's maybe I'm being a little harsh on it. You both seem pretty, pretty excited. And there are parts in the movie that are cool. Maybe this is one of them. So I'll I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt here. Even though I watched it last night and can't remember it. I appreciate

Unknown Speaker  1:02:52   that you're giving this movie any props at all, because I expected this to be a bloodbath. Or now we're down to our final two Quinten and Nancy, she gets cut and they so they go to the hospital. And did you did you recognize the nurse from the hospital do Did either of you recognize who this is?

Unknown Speaker  1:03:10   I had that moment of like she looks familiar, but no idea. She

Unknown Speaker  1:03:13   is the actress who played the original April O'Neil in the first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie that Oh, yeah, she was the original April how exciting. I wasn't, I wasn't a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles guy. But I did put those together. They go back to give Nancy pain meds because the mom signs as Connie Britton signs off on it. Right and let me ask you this, What is she saying? She's like signing her over to like a mental institution or something? Or is it just to give her pain meds?

Unknown Speaker  1:03:47   It didn't seem like that, because like, they kind of do like a long shot on the document that she's signing. And I was looking at it and I'm like, it just I don't know. I mean, if that's what they were implying is like we're going to let you commit her something right? It said, I hereby swear that I did not burn a man alive for molesting my daughter

Unknown Speaker  1:04:07   20 years ago.

Unknown Speaker  1:04:10   No, it is the top something like permission to administer medical care. Yeah, I assume it's basically like I hereby give permission for you to like forcibly inject my daughter with sleeping meds

Unknown Speaker  1:04:20   right which Why do we need to have a shot of the document there? It's so they put emphasis on the document which was strange because if that's all it is, then who cares? We don't need to see this document. But then we get the moment where former April O'Neil goes to injector and she lifts up her hand and knows she's got the Freddie claw. Which

Unknown Speaker  1:04:40   micro nap

Unknown Speaker  1:04:42   Yeah, we'll see good use of micro nap there. You don't get that without a micro nap. No serie Bob.

Unknown Speaker  1:04:49   Yeah, Quinten like, grab some adrenaline out of a drawer. And like, dude, I watched this movie like 24 hours ago, and I don't remember what happens. They like yeah, they run in the car. And he's like, no, they

Unknown Speaker  1:04:58   just didn't even show them right Now that just shows them in the car when they come back to the room Nancy's gone CUT TO they're in the car and Winton's busting out the adrenaline to shoot it up, right. Like we don't even know how they get out.

Unknown Speaker  1:05:09   It's one of those like, I don't worry about it. There's we just need to get to the next scene. They get away. Okay, yeah. Yeah. So he quit and juices up in the leg up. And of course, I mean, you guys picked up right? His name is Quentin Quentin Tarantino. Epic shot. I don't understand the reference. There's a director named Quentin Tarantino who directed some pretty famous films over the last 25 years or so. And one of them featured very prominently in adrenaline adrenaline shot sequence, you should check it out. It's called Pulp Fiction. It's pretty good.

Unknown Speaker  1:05:45   Oh, interesting. Oh, yeah. I'll put on the list. Thank you.

Unknown Speaker  1:05:47   Yeah, yeah. So Clinton shoots up in his leg. They have their sort of tender moment where they're driving to the abandoned preschool in Quint Nasser out on a real date. And I liked this line, she sort of puts him off and he says, Well, why don't you sleep on it? And I was like, Alright, clever writing there. But then Fred shows up because they micro nap, I guess for a second and then they drive off the road. They've got to walk the rest of the way to the school.

Unknown Speaker  1:06:17   How did Quinten micro nap after he just shot himself up with adrenaline? Like, yeah, that was my one thing was I was like, I mean, maybe he's just that tired. I don't know. I mean, I'm not going to nitpick things. But I really, that was my honest thought was like, didn't he just take this adrenaline?

Unknown Speaker  1:06:34   Yeah, I'm gonna nitpick too, because the same thing happens when she burns herself with a lighter, like, your arm would hurt so bad that the whole point of doing it is so you can stay awake for like maybe 20 more minutes. So why go through all this? Like they get adrenaline in the injection his leg? If it doesn't have a purpose,

Unknown Speaker  1:06:49   fair enough. I think they're just trying to sort of set things up and then do reversals and then set things up. You know, I get it. It's definitely doesn't make total sense. But I also see they're trying to keep you engaged, like with things so but yeah, it doesn't really make sense. What also doesn't make sense is that this creepy fucking school is not been turned into like Kultury condos or something. It's still there. With the paint peeling off the wall and like creepy kid artwork all over the wall. You know, look, it's a horror movie. We need to have our climax take place in someplace creepy. You know, they set it up that this preschool was the place of you know, where all these terrible things happened, but it's sort of ridiculously art directed in that way that would never happen in real life. And then they find Fred's molesting cave, like they find his bedroom first, which still has his bed in it.

Unknown Speaker  1:07:48   Here's the thing that I don't understand, right? Because they make a big point about how they never went to the cops. And they just like, assumed he was molesting their kids. So the implication is that this place was closed down because you know of what Fred Krueger did. But from the perspective of reality, Fred Krueger just disappeared one day didn't come to work. So wouldn't have done the maintenance crew go downstairs and they like his like, his knife glove is still sitting on the table. Right? Right. It. It's literally like they're like, how can we run this place without good old Fred Krueger doing the lawn, close it down, just close it down? Shelly, they locked the front door and left,

Unknown Speaker  1:08:27   right, one of one of two things would have happened. One, people would have found out about these horrible things, and they would have torn the place down. or two, no one would have found out about these things. And they would have just kept the place running and turned his bedroom into another classroom or you know, it would still be a school. What wouldn't? It doesn't make sense that now it's the haunted town haunted house or whatever. It's not the Michael Meyers house, you know, I mean, it's like it shouldn't. That doesn't make sense. Because you're right, they don't go to the cops. So nobody should know that this was a horrible place.

Unknown Speaker  1:09:02   But I'll just assume that like they didn't pay their county taxes on time. And so the county just kicked them all out and chained it up.

Unknown Speaker  1:09:08   So they, they they find his bedroom, which still has his gross bed in it, which will actually come into play later. And then they find his creepy molesting cave, which is sort of another room in there. You know, and and just to put it out there, you know, we're making light a lot of this but we do are not making light of, you know, child abuse in any way. This is what makes the movie. I think, ultimately, no fun. I mean, I can deal with this in a horror movie context, if we're talking about something that's, you know, really hard and serious or whatever, but we're trying to have fun here with the thing about Freddy Krueger is that there's a fun element to him. And when you introduce this into it, like the fun is gone. Now he's just a disgusting creep, and I'm not on his side in any way, the way that you are with your favorite horror franchise characters where, you know, you secretly are on Jason's side and you're secretly with me at this point, you're just not on his side. And I think this is truly the tragic flaw of this film.

Unknown Speaker  1:10:16   I 100% had that same feeling and this is also your, your so you're possibly on his side, because only of what was mentioned earlier or alluded to that this was like, the kids had lied about it, right? Yeah. So then, like, at that point, you're like, fuck him up Friday. Like, you know, these kids lied like you were you were wrongly murdered by this mob. And then now, here's the like, the pitchers yuck, that are you know, he, he didn't do it. Like he's after them. Like the lion Clinton says, it's like, he's not after us. Because we lied. He's after us. Because we told the truth. And that just yeah, it's just that whatever you were hanging on to that this film was going somewhere, like, you just really feel like the wind just go right out of the sails. So it's like, and to make it even worse, Fred wants them to remember his abuse of them. Like that's specifically cited as his motivation that he wants him to remember. So it's sort of gross layer upon gross layer. So much gross. And just so like, just it's like there's nowhere to go. You can't go nowhere to go from here.

Unknown Speaker  1:11:32   A tiny detail earlier in that when you see the flashback of the Miss kids. There's like a shot of young Chris the blonde girl and you see that like her back has been like clawed and she's got scars on her back. So this this notion that like maybe they made it up is fucking nonsense cuz like she clearly came home with her back carved up, and you know, her dress torn up. So like, it's like the movies not even sure if it's trying to pull that joke on you or not. But Sebastian, you're totally right. I'm with Jason. I want to watch Jason murder a bunch of people, right? But like, it's hard to root for the dude that like raped a bunch of little kids. Like, that's messed up. And, and I'm a big fan of messed up content, like, give me the messed up stuff. But like, this movie just feels like it's going a little too far. And the fact that he keeps like bringing it up, it's just like, it makes it feel so icky. That you can no longer have fun. You're totally right.

Unknown Speaker  1:12:25   They have like a moment in one of the flashbacks where they show Jackie Earle Haley holding up gardener claw like that's where he got the idea to make the claw and I don't know or maybe he was climbing them with that not the knife hand but then they find the knife hand which is also not really set up in this movie. In the original movie. That's the weapon he used. And he right he put those in the furnace of the boiler room that he was burned in and they find you know, I think the mom still has them in the boiler room, their boiler at home or whatever so they really set up the knife hands whereas in this is Did he really have that knife hand glove in real life? Or is that just part of his dream persona and it was the gardening tool in real life? It's not made no

Unknown Speaker  1:13:21   because because when they go down into the basement Quinten and Rooney are sorry Nancy. On the on the table there's like one of the knife fingers as though he was like in the midst of assembling it like it was his life like he was like pretty soon my knife glove will be ready to go wherever those meddling at all.

Unknown Speaker  1:13:39   Right, so maybe he never got to finish his night knife glove project. And

Unknown Speaker  1:13:45   I think I think that's what it is.

Unknown Speaker  1:13:46   Okay, okay, well, that that tracks

Unknown Speaker  1:13:49   I think even in the original or I think it's the original though don't we actually see him making his

Unknown Speaker  1:13:54   glove? It's the opening looks like

Unknown Speaker  1:13:56   it's a whole thing. Yeah, that's what I remember with like the fire and he's like putting his glove together. Yes. So yeah, I see exactly. I mean, like there's so much care and detail going into like the glove history. Yeah. And the original that it's just to be so like brushed over now. And just yeah, it's it's it falls short to also mention more talking about the yuck going into once these Polaroids are found and that whole thing happens like the yuck gets dialed up so high, like all the up lines just start coming.

Unknown Speaker  1:14:30   Yeah, I emphasize that. It's hard to offend me. And this this scene really offended me like there's like multiple moments. I was like, that's gross like that. Take that out.

Unknown Speaker  1:14:40   Well, And to make matters worse, we go into the basic setup of the climax which is similar to the original, or Nancy, as you figured out earlier in the pharmacy. She pulled out a little piece of Fred's sweater, so she knows that she can bring some corporeal element of him out into reality. So she's going to go into sleep. Quentin is going to watch her. She's gonna grab Fred and pull him out. So she goes to his gross molester bed, goes to sleep. Quentin grabs a paper cutter blade off of an old paper cutter that's lying around to do some Fred killin. But of course, you know, it's stupid Clinton falls asleep. So we go into this big final dream sequence. We're both Nancy and Quentin are both sleeping. So they're sort of both dealing with the dream world. Quinn ends up in the boiler room that Fred never was burned alive in and he throws him around and he slashes them pretty bad in the chest. But then Nancy calls out and because Fred has kept telling her you have always been my favorite. You know, so he's really got a mad boner for so he goes chasing after and, you know, there's we get sort of a replay in some ways of the climax of the original film. At one point, she's in the original Nancy's running up the stairs and her feet sink into the stairs. And this time, she's running down a hallway and then she falls into like the rug and it's all bloody water, whatever.

Unknown Speaker  1:16:18   I like this part. Because Because Because he has one of the better lines here and he goes, how's that for a wet dream, right? And I was like, okay,

Unknown Speaker  1:16:26   that's one of the only lines that sound like an OTG Robert Anglin line, you know, that's something I could he would definitely have said. But so she falls into that falls into the water and falls through the floor and into her own bed at home. And now she's wearing the little girl out dress that she used to wear and this is where it really for me. This is where it gets really gross. No,

Unknown Speaker  1:16:54   I like the part where she falls through the ceiling too. It's a little CG. But this whole sequence with the bloody hallway while it's brief, I will give credit where credit's due I was like that part was well done.

Unknown Speaker  1:17:05   I also know I just was also I like the sequence with the hallway I like when she falls into her bed. I also appreciated that Quentin fashioned a weapon out of one of those giant paper cutters because those things have always anytime in an office or whatever. I'm like this thing is crazy. I'm just glad to see somebody using it as a weapon because it is and then totally like the Glenn before him. You know he did the Amash comes back again or you know that that'll happens. But I was here for all that it was fine. It was Nancy in the baby dress, where I just was like, I just can't, I can't and this is one more grow. Like, I actually took notes of the things because I was like, these are all so gross. Like, your mouth says no, but your body says yes. And I just wrote barf. Because it was just like, it's just so yuck. It's so yuck. And then he she, when she first runs into Friday, she says fuck you to him. And he says, that's a little fast for me. Why don't we just hang first and

Unknown Speaker  1:18:08   it's just like, and then he shows her bodies hanging on in the boiler room. That's just terrible. And I like it. And I like puns, you know, but this is just not it's not okay, none of this is okay. And he you know, he's running his one of his knife fingers like upwards skirt. And they it's it's really I won't say shocking, but it's it's surprising that this was a creative decision that they decided to go with because to rod knees point of director, whoever not really understanding the what people like about this series. You know, this is not what people like about the Nightmare on Elm Street series. This is not what they want to see Freddie doing.

Unknown Speaker  1:18:55   I think they really are just trying to be like, yo, let's like, we're gonna earn that our rating so hard, people are gonna love it. It just has aged really poorly. Also from like, I mean, this, why I brought up the coma thing is because the implication that he basically says here, right is like, I basically have kept you awake for all this time, specifically, so you would fall into a permanent coma. And I could just like, have you for eternity in your dream state? Yeah. Which is like, really creepy. But also, I have a I have a question I have to ask. That's a little icky. But like, if Fred Krueger is into kids, why is he into 18 year old Rooney Mara, right? Like, that doesn't really even make sense within the logic of the film.

Unknown Speaker  1:19:40   Yep. And that sort of occurred to me too, although I did, like I did. That was when he says that, about having her trapped there forever. That at least was a moment in the movie where I kind of got a little bit of like, Oh, you know, I mean, just because the idea I get sort of Things like that where I you know, concepts where people are going to be trapped like, find murder me stab me with a fucking machete cut off my head. It's all good. That's gonna be like two seconds and we're over but the idea of, you know keeping me in your dream world for forever and you know tormenting me is that that actually gives me kind of a bit of a chill. But yeah, it doesn't you're right it doesn't really track with the whole child molester idea that he be just as jazzed to do it to her now, I mean, they could have had her regress to a younger age in the dream like Why does she have to be that age and the dream but I I'm sure that was a bridge too far that they weren't even willing to go to go for

Unknown Speaker  1:20:47   even you hearing you describe it is making me uncomfortable. Yeah. Right. Like, well, there's maybe you should have directed there's no,

Unknown Speaker  1:20:54   there's just nowhere to go with that idea. Unfortunately, you know, I mean, I think they just they, it was a bad idea. They shouldn't have gone there at all.

Unknown Speaker  1:21:02   Like, I feel like if they thought that they were going to be edgy, or try to let you know, it's 2010 and we're just going to really, you know, earn their rating, like you said, or, you know, just try to have like a shock value. It just, it just came off dislike this. This this really poor taste like it just doesn't. It doesn't work. It doesn't work with what this film is.

Unknown Speaker  1:21:23   There's a little part of me that applauds them for trying to be gross. Yeah, they just fail at it.

Unknown Speaker  1:21:29   Yeah, it just doesn't work.

Unknown Speaker  1:21:30   I think that what they're what they misunderstand, and what a lot of people misunderstand about this slasher genre, especially when you're dealing with sort of supernatural characters, or supernatural adjacent characters like Freddy, Jason and Michael, is that it's more a fantasy thing in when you become a fan of these movies, you end up becoming a fan of the characters, even though they're reprehensible and horrible murderers. It's sort of similar to the way you feel about superheroes or you know, other fantasy characters. You don't want them to tethered due to the terrible horrible things that really happen in real life. It's fine for them to stab people and hack them apart. That's the craved part of us that is satisfied, but we don't want to see really horrible atrocities occur at the hands of these characters. They are in some weird way fantasy figures to us and we don't want to see that.

Unknown Speaker  1:22:34   Well said you some that are very well

Unknown Speaker  1:22:37   basically, you know, Nancy stabs Fred and then I with something but you know, he can't die in this world. If we do get the line. I'm, I'm your boyfriend now. Which you know, of course is a call back to the original question tries to wake her up, she won't wake up. So we get this scene where he shoots her in the heart with the adrenaline calling back to pulp fiction. This wakes her up and she drags Fred into reality. You know, they fight in reality, which is you know, pretty satisfying. At that point. She cuts off his hand with the paper cutter blade, and then slashes his throat and she says you're in my world now bitch. Which decent line I feel like that might have been said in one of the other movies but I'm not sure one of the other nightmare movies but I'm not sure yeah and that's basically it they burn the the creepy school and

Unknown Speaker  1:23:37   again Yeah,

Unknown Speaker  1:23:39   like learn from your fucking past. Also, why like they now have proof of like the burned dream killer that they fought in recount reality. Why don't they like take pictures call the cops be like, Look, we found Fred Krueger. Right? Like, it would help explain anything that they might need to explain right in case they're gonna be accused of murder. But they're like not let's just burn it all

Unknown Speaker  1:24:02   will not only So wait, so his body is still there right after they kill him.

Unknown Speaker  1:24:07   Yeah, she like cuts. She slashes his neck up and he like bleeds to death. And he's just dead body on the floor.

Unknown Speaker  1:24:13   Right. So like for the sequel? They should have not burned down the building. They should have called the police. They should have explained to them. Look, this is a guy that's been dead for. I don't know how many years? Like 15 years right? I guess there'd be no way to way to prove that because they never I guess found his body to begin with.

Unknown Speaker  1:24:33   They could do like carbon dating, I guess.

Unknown Speaker  1:24:35   But then you could do a whole sequel where like now we're dealing with a reality where you can like pull people out of dreams. Like what does that mean? Then you've got your dream warriors and all that. So yeah, missed opportunity there. But uh, so yeah, that's basically it until we get our Stinger seen where Nancy and mom returned home. And there's a mirror and Freddie's in the mirror. In the mirror, and he throws his claws out of the mirror and and they go right through mom's the back of mom's head out the front of her face. And her her eyeballs are on the tips of his fingers and it's really dumb. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker  1:25:16   it's literally just like the movie ends with a sign that says fuck you go home. Like, so. It's so like, to be fair, I think most nightmare I know she'd films and with like, this ridiculous Stinger that sort of like non canon,

Unknown Speaker  1:25:29   you know, a first movie has a terrible one. It's terrible. Yeah. So I mean, it's no worse than that. If we're being brutally honest.

Unknown Speaker  1:25:39   The first one is now the one where she gets like, sucked through the door. No, that's when she gets in a car.

Unknown Speaker  1:25:43   Yes, yeah. Oh, right. Mom does

Unknown Speaker  1:25:46   right. She gets in the car. The car like is a convertible that closes up

Unknown Speaker  1:25:50   with that has dried in there. It's got Freddie's sweater painted on it basically, on right comfortable roof.

Unknown Speaker  1:25:57   And then mom gets sucked through the What do you call it like the people

Unknown Speaker  1:26:01   know, it's like the, it's like glam. And

Unknown Speaker  1:26:05   it's a fancy name. I don't know, the glass above the door. That's like super small. So it's like, it's not for a person to be pulled through.

Unknown Speaker  1:26:13   Yeah, she suddenly becomes like an inflatable sex doll. And then,

Unknown Speaker  1:26:17   yeah, yanked through the tiny window in the door. So it's not like they had a lot to live up to here, because that's pretty terrible. But this is terrible, too. And then we get dream by the Everly Brothers or whatever, for the end credits. And that's basically the Nightmare on Elm Street remake. So let's move on to closing thoughts. Let's start with the positives. I'm going to say that I think this movie looks decent. It's decently you know, the production values are good. We forgot to mention the scene where Chris is in the classroom. And she has her dream. It's mirroring a scene from the original, which is done more gritty and better. But you know, there's suddenly she's in this dolt, you know, dilapidated, post apocalyptic classroom. And that's when we first get a good look at Fred at the chalkboard, there are some moments of nice computer generated imagery, that sort of hint at the potential of what a movie like this could be. Just in terms of production, design and production values, I think it's fine. Although I do agree that none of the dream sequences are as good as they could be. I think the actors overall were good. I think the film looks good. There's, you know, it doesn't look like it was, you know, poorly made. I don't mind the callbacks to the original. I mean, they're, they're, you know, beat for beat there at some spots. But you know, it's, it's fine. It's a remake. It's not, I'm not upset about it. But that's, that's what they're doing. You know, that those are, those are the positives, there's the scenes that stood out, like the pharmacy scene. I do like the scene that you just mentioned, as well with when she's learning about Sparta and and in the classroom, and we get to see Fred for the first time and his fingers on the chalkboard and all that stuff. Yeah, I mean, I'll go into what I didn't like, but there definitely are things that I like about it,

Unknown Speaker  1:28:23   you know, I think it's a case of liking by default. Right? It there's nothing in this movie that I will like want to show to somebody and say you've got to see this scene or this moment or this shot, because there's nothing in the movie that rises to excellence. Right However, there are there are things that are not bad or need to be shit upon like it is shot very professionally, this is clearly a they had a budget they had a good dp. The director has a pretty good eye, I would say half of the movie, there's some good stylish shit like some of the boiler room sequences the way the framing in the framing is done. I thought the the partner she's in the bloody body bag look great. Some of the kills wealth too fast, are very gory and violent. And I applaud that because that's sort of the reason you come to these movies. Right? And, and again, there were a couple one liners that I liked and, and having Clancy Brown in your movie is a plus for me every time I've he literally can't be in a bad Well, he can be in a bad movie, but he's never bad. So I think on my second viewing this time, it was a lot less offensive than I remembered it being I can I can say that, you know, but again, I don't think there's anything about this movie except maybe the part of the dude cuts his throat at the beginning that I thought was truly badass.

Unknown Speaker  1:29:41   What do you think went wrong here? creatively, I feel like I've sort of my main gripes with it creatively or the decision to back out of the idea that Fred is after them out of revenge because they lied. And then to go full child molester like, you know Go full child molester.

Unknown Speaker  1:30:01   I was thinking about was watching the movie. And I kept thinking I was trying to put my finger on. Why is this movie bad? And part of it falls under the category of like, just it's so bland. It's forgettable, right? But I, I now know what the problem is. And the problem is, in all the other Nightmare on Elm Street films, the dream sequences are these set pieces to themselves. They're like little short films, right? That you look forward to? Yeah, it's like, oh, you realize that person is dreaming. Some dread comes, Brady gets them turns into a fucking worm, or he like turns into a TV set. You know, like, the turns the one dude into a puppet with like, you know, the veins and shit. And that's why you come to the movie. But this version does away with that, because of the micro naps. It says we're not doing dream sequences. We're just here to have like, a scary guy with knives jump out of shadows. And so you are actually undoing the very thing that everybody wants. Right? Like, that's, that's all you actually want out of a Freddy Krueger movie. I don't care about his backstory, I don't even care about him killing people with the glove. I'd rather he doesn't kill anyone with the glove. And in this movie, it's the only way he kills anyone. And I think that's the biggest sin the movie makes is that it it takes the premise of a man who gets you in your dreams, and basically just turns him into a dude who stabs you with his hand in your dreams. Like, that's lame, guys. It's lame. What is our argue, I think in arguably the greatest horror movie killer premise of all time that a guy kills you in your dreams because that you can't not sleep. So there's, I mean, there I don't think there's ever been a better initial premise of a slasher movie. And I and I agree, I will maybe back down from the defense of the micro naps, just because you make a good point there. I think if they had done new dream sequences, and done the micro naps, I think there could have been something at least to make this stand out and be a little more memorable. Yeah. And, and again, I acknowledge, I acknowledge what you're saying that they put the micro naps in to try to up the ante and make it be like, Oh, he can come anytime I get that I just, I just think that they it's a missed opportunity. You know, like, you're gonna have a whole sequence in a swimming pool where the kid falls asleep. Let's make it a big sequence, you know, like really bad at it. But instead, it's over like that all the dream sequences start and then the person wakes up or they get killed. I understand that you want to recreate the first movie, but like, you're you're totally right, there is no better idea for a slasher film. Like, sooner or later, you're gonna fall asleep. And this guy is going to get you and going all the way back to the beginning this conversation when I said that all of the Freddy movies are like, up and down. And some of them are really bad, and some are really good. They all have really great death sequences. That's the thing. Even the worst of the movies have these nightmare scenes that you're like, Oh, that's twisted, you know? Yeah. And, and this movie is just like, I don't care about that part. I care more about telling you the backstory of how maybe this guy was a pedophile. But wink wink, he was so big shocker. Like, like, whether he's whether he was a pedophile or not. He's still murdering people from the beginning of this movie. So he's clearly the bad guy. So why are we making a mystery movie out of it? You

Unknown Speaker  1:33:30   know, if they announced, which I imagine one day they will, that they are going to try this again. I'm sure it won't be with Jackie Earle Haley or anything like that. Or Platinum dunes if they even exist anymore. Would you be interested in seeing it, Jennifer? Absolutely. Always. Neil got a hope for the best expect the worst and hope for the best. That's that's how I roll So yeah, I would totally go see reboot of this again in the theater. Absolutely. Give it a shot now. Just when they announced this movie, apparently he did. Screen tests with Kevin Bacon as Freddy Krueger before Jackie Earle Haley, which I actually think could work in a weird way at least Kevin Bacon has the sort of build and you know he's lanky and and you could do cool stuff with his makeup in his face. I also remember people banding around the name of Ben Foster, from you know, six feet under and he's actually in 30 days of night and stuff. I think he could have been he could be a good he's got a good creepy vibe. I think he could be a good Freddy Krueger. Rodney, would you be up for another attempt at this? Are you just gonna dig in your heels and say don't ever try to do this again?

Unknown Speaker  1:34:53   No as a like, Look, I I'm a horror fan. I I go see everything right like always Honestly, I have no idea why these large franchises don't just make make a new one every year. Like if I ran the studio, every fucking Halloween, maybe every 18 months, you would have a new fresh Nightmare on Elm Street film and a new fray a 13th. at like, like saw did it for like eight years in a row. Right? And like, Dude, it's not that hard. Like, I promise I'll come up, I'll come to your mediocre dream killer movie every fucking Halloween. Why is it take so long? Yeah, I'd like it to be a little better. But yeah, I will go to the next 10 remakes of this film franchise. I was

Unknown Speaker  1:35:34   just gonna say it is utterly baffling that they can't get these things. I mean, I think a lot in the case of the Friday the 13th series, it's because there's some sort of rights issues like going on. That's fair. I mean, that one's a no brainer. I put a guy in a hockey mask. I mean, what is the big deal?

Unknown Speaker  1:35:55   Three of us. If the three of us were arguing over the money, I'd be like, Look, guys, can we disagree every year that we argue we're not making any so how about we just split it three ways, right? We make we make one every year. Let's just churn them out. They act like everyone doesn't like Freddy Krueger, because they had a bad Critical response to this movie. Right? And it's like, No, we didn't like your movie. Try again. Do it again. Right? Yeah, you can start over be like Spider Man. Just keep starting over until you get it right again. Right. However I disagree with I read some articles about Kevin Bacon being interested in the role. And I gotta tell you, I think the misconception is that everyone thinks of Robert England is Freddy Krueger, but he became famous because of the role. Right? He wasn't a famous actor. And I think the minute you put a famous actor in the role of Freddy Krueger, the audience can't stop looking at him as the actor I kept seeing Jackie Earle Haley, just finally someone I don't know and make that the new Freddy Krueger and fill the rest of the cast with famous people.

Unknown Speaker  1:36:56   I think there's a sort of middle ground where you could get a character actor, somebody like Ben Foster, who most people don't really know who he is. I mean, Robert England was a character actor, he would been in other movies. It's not known. I mean, he's in, you know, a galaxy of terror and all sorts of stuff before he became Freddy Krueger. So I mean, I think Will anybody ever live up to Robert England? Probably not.

Unknown Speaker  1:37:21   That that's, that's the problem. It's it. They're, they're such big boots to fill, you know. And it's impossible to play that role without inviting everyone to compare you to Robert England.

Unknown Speaker  1:37:33   But but it I mean, I think it with the right person, it can be done where you can have, you know, both versions, both actors, you know, living in a world where you you can just enjoy both of them. Like I feel that way about having Bill skarsgard play Pennywise you know, it's like, first new Penny wises Tim Curry through the miniseries. And that's who just how I pictured him. And then here comes Bill skarsgard. And I'm like, I love him. And I think he also, you know, at least at that time, was probably toeing that line of not being, you know, super well known, but had done some notable things. And so he was able to slide into that and do his own take on it. And I am now you know, I like both versions. So I think it can be done. I think that that comparison is pretty good. But I also feel that, you know, there was only one attempted it before they made another one. Even though people were kind of hung up on Tim Curry's version. It wasn't like Nightmare on Elm Street where we got you know, six or seven whatever movies with one guy I think it's you know, the more more movies you make with one person, the harder it is for people to shake that I think people of our generation will never get over Robert England, I don't think there will there will ever be a version that will be able to compete with him. But I think it's such a strong idea that the temptation to not reenter introduce this character to a new generation is, you know, it's way too too much. You know, they're going to try it again. Because it's just such a good idea. And you know, I know those movies still exist and and young people can go and find them and watch them but like, Come on, let's let's be real. They don't want to do that.

Unknown Speaker  1:39:26   So there's money to be made in them Freddie and that Freddy sweater. That's basically what I'm saying.

Unknown Speaker  1:39:32   Yeah, I I'll back down on this, they easily could find a more well known actor who still just does a different version. I think you got to just get away from the Freddy Krueger. I'm so used to like I remember thinking, Heath Ledger was the worst idea ever to play.

Unknown Speaker  1:39:47   Oh, I did too. I was like, What?

Unknown Speaker  1:39:49   Really? Yep. And then we all saw the movie and we all went I apologize. I'm really sorry. You You're amazing. So I genuinely think someone out that maybe it is kevin bacon bacon. Maybe it is better. Foster well I guess we'll find out one day because they're gonna make another one that there's no way they just leave this where they left it.

Unknown Speaker  1:40:07   Well let's hope they do a better job but anyway thank you guys for being on this episode and I want to wish you both the sweetest of dreams.

Unknown Speaker  1:40:27   That about does it today for Tentpole Trauma. If you like what you heard, check out our social media presence on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. Just look for Tentpole Trauma. That was easy, wasn't it? If you like us, hit subscribe, and leave us a sterling review on iTunes. If you dare. If you really like us, head over to patreon.com and get involved in one of our fabulous tears. You'll be glad you did. Want to communicate with Tentpole Trauma, send an email to Tentpole trauma@gmail.com we'd love to hear from you. And who knows, one day you may even get your email read on one of our shows.

Unknown Speaker  1:41:15   Thanks for listening, and we'll see you real soon.

[myhahnestopinion]

The Night AN OBSESSIVE, REGRESSIVE, POSSESSIVE TEENAGE GHOST Came Home: HELLO MARY LOU! PROM NIGHT II (1987)

Continuing our trek through unrequested sequels to last year’s The Night X Came Home entries, today we look at the sequel to 1980’s Prom Night, which starred Jamie Lee Curtis. Last year, I analyzed the film under the name “The Night THE UNGAINLY SPAWN OF LESLIE NIELSEN Came Home,” and concluded that it did an respectable job of encapsulating one’s Prom Night experience… in that it promised great excitement, but ended up being a bunch of awkward bumbling around and negligible teen drama. I only ever went to one Prom though, believing that one was really enough, and definitely not because of a crippling fear of asking someone to go with me… *cough cough*  So, I had no idea what to expect from a second Prom Night. Well, if Prom Night II is any indication, I really missed out! 

While the first film’s grounded approach to its slasher villain, which saw its killer show noticeable physical difficulty in his attempt to stalk down a group of teens and murder them, was an admirable creative choice (or, more likely, an example of failing upwards…), the second film completely throws all of that out of the window. Instead, we have ghost possession, wacky dream sequences, and… incest…? 

The film proudly begins with a title card - Hello Mary Lou! Prom Night Part II. …Mary Lou? Mary Lou who? Is that really the title we’re going with, guys? I mean, I know it rhymes and everything, but it’s not particularly scary, especially since I have no idea who Mary Lou is. Are we supposed to rue Mary Lou? What did Mary Lou do? Could you give me a clue, Prom Night II?

Well, it turns out, Mary Lou is an unapologetically rebellious teenager and the lead contender to be crowned Prom Queen at Hamilton High’s 1957 prom. Mary Lou is attending prom with rich kid Billy Nordham, but when Billy leaves to get punch, Mary Lou sneaks off backstage with Buddy Cooper. Billy catches them in the act, and is obviously distraught. Yes, Mary Lou likes to screw. But Billy didn’t knew!

…know… Dang it.  

Billy heads to the bathroom to deal with this betrayal, and observes two students abandoning a stink bomb in the trash, picking it up after they leave. Back in the ballroom, Mary Lou is announced as this year’s Prom Queen, taking the stage to be crowned. But, up in the rafters, Billy lights the stink bomb’s fuse, and tosses it down. “That’ll teach you, Mary Lou!” is something he, unfortunately, does not say. 

The bomb lands by Mary Lou’s feet, but, rather than going off, the fuse catches her dress on fire. Watching their classmate becoming quickly engulfed in flames, the fellow prom-goers react in the way all sensible, responsible people would, and put out the fire. Movie’s over. Roll Credits.

Hahaha! Just kidding! They do nothing! Absolutely nothing! They just stand there and watch her burn. No stop, drop, and roll.  No patting down with a jacket. No rush to activate the sprinklers, or get a bucket of water, or a hose, or maybe the punch bowl (…actually, considering someone probably spiked the punch at this high school prom, maybe not.)

There’s even a shot of Buddy collapsed on the steps to the stage, pounding the ground in frustration. If only there was something that could be done! If only there was some way to put out a fire!! But, alas, fires are indestructible, as everyone knows, and so Buddy continues to pound the ground and cry. What a tragedy. And so, Mary Lou burns to death, staring menacingly at Billy on the rafters.

We cut, and it’s now 30 years later (not that the film provides an intertitle to inform us of this fact, because basic, age-old storytelling techniques are hard sometimes.) Vicki Carpenter is a well-behaved teenager, and one of five contenders for Queen at this year’s high school Prom. Vicki is very excited to go with her boyfriend, Craig, who bequeaths her with a cross necklace, the kind of gift that no romantic partners would ever get for one another were they not anticipating ghostly possessions later in the plot.

You know what would have been a better gift, Craig? A prom dress! Because now Vikki has no prom dress. Unable to acquire a dress, Vikki decides to venture into the basement of Hamilton High, open up a locked chest, and borrow Mary Lou’s prom dress from the 50s, releasing her spirit in the process. But, noooo, Craig! You had to go with the cross necklace! Although, to be fair, prom dresses are a scam. I’d probably risk ghostly possession over having to pay $300 for a dress you wear once…

With the ghost of Mary Lou now unleashed, Vikki begins to experience hallucinations around school, clearly designed to capitalize on the contemporary success of A Nightmare on Elm Street. Hallucinations include a gym volleyball net being transformed into a giant spider’s web, hallucinating that one of her fellow classmates transformed into Mary Lou, and the cafeteria being infested by maggots and other bugs. 

…Actually, not sure that last one was a hallucination. Might have just been a regular high school cafeteria.

 There is a lot of great 80s charm in these hallucination sequences, and I mean, hey, can’t really fault Hello Mary Lou! for wanting to steal from the best slasher ever, as opposed to… whatever its first film was. 

This rip-off approach also allows the film to present one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever seen in a horror film. Not even joking, guys. Hello Mary Lou! Prom Night II terrified me to my core. Deep in the corner of Vikki’s bedroom sits a white plastic rocking horse… a rocking horse that looks eerily like one that I used to have as a child. As Vikki sleeps, the eyes of the rocking horse roll over to gaze at her, and an organic looking tongue slithers around in its mouth. It rocks back and forth, not breaking its gaze! 

Oh god, go back to the dopey masked killer from Prom Night 1, please! I was wrong, I don’t want this Prom Night II! Go Back! AAHHH! F–k you, Mary Lou!!

The rocking horse was horrifying enough, but Prom Night Part II soon unleashes the truly most terrifying aspect of Mary Lou’s haunting. In her bedroom, Vikki looks into the mirror, enters a trance-like state, and…. puts… on… lipstick! The horror! Can you imagine?! Vikki suddenly snaps out of this trance, and wipes the lipstick off, but it is too late! She is slowly succumbing to the worst fate that can befall a woman, one that is almost too horrible for words. Being… in…. charge… of…. her sexuality! Quickly, she must be stopped before she gains any more autonomy!

Terrified with her recent uncontrollable rebellious behavior, Vikki goes to visit her local priest, none other than a grown up Buddy Cooper, Mary Lou’s beau from the opening scene. In the confession booth, Vikki relays the story of all her recent hallucinations to Buddy. Huh,  I didn’t realize that Prom Queen ghost hallucinations were a sin that needed confessing. Catholic guilt is way more intense than I thought. 

After Laura mentions Mary Lou Maloney, Buddy gets distressed. He later visits Mary Lou’s grave, only to have his Bible burst into flames. Fearing that Mary Lou has returned, he goes to visit adult Billy, now the principal of Hamilton High and played by one of those actors that you don’t understand why they’re in so much trash when they have actual talent, Michael Ironside. 

“If a person dies violently, they’ll wander purgatory, waiting to return!” Buddy expositions. “She’ll possess you if you don’t take Communion!” Aw man, not only are having hallucinations a sin, but there’s this too! Catholicism is just way too complicated for me! I mean, hey, I knew there were disagreements on Communion about transubstantiation and all that, but this whole “preventing Prom Queen ghost possession” seems to be a pretty pertinent issue as well.

Not that it matters anyway, since Mary Lou seemingly has no intention of possessing these characters that randomly popped back into the plot anyway. Vikki is now in detention after slapping that fellow student she hallucinated to be Mary Lou, because someone in this administration actually cares, despite the fact that the man who burned a Prom Queen to death 30 years ago gets to run the place. In detention, Vikki gets sucked into a blackboard, and winds up in the basement again. She has now been fully possessed by the spirit of Mary Lou, as signified by the fact that she is now naked, because, remember, female sexuality = evil. 

The sexual politics of this film truly are fascinating. The now possessed Vikki actually bucks typical movie stereotypes, dressing even more conservatively, as Mary Lou resorts back to her 50s clothing. Nevertheless, sex is still the primary weapon of Mary Lou. 

In the locker room, fellow Prom Queen contender Monica confronts Vikki over this new, bizarre change of personality, noticing an unmistakable sign that something is not right. “Who says ‘swell’ anymore?” she questions.  I don’t know, Monica, “swell” is still a fairly common word. Haven’t you ever heard of the saying “All swell that end swell?” Well, maybe not, because all does not end swell for Monica.

After Monica steps into the shower, the possessed Vikki steps in as well, and leans over to kiss her. Well, hey, high school is a good time to experiment, I suppose. You never know if you might be sexually attracted to people possessed by ghosts from the 50s! Monica pushes Vikki back, runs away terrified, and hides in a locker. Considering that Vikki has made no attempts to murder her yet, Monica’s extreme reaction seems entirely caused by the threat to her sexuality. In the most memorable kill of the movie, Vikki walks up to the locker, and telekinetically crushes them, causing Monica’s blood to ooze out of the vents. It’s a neat practical effect. That’ll do, Mary Lou!

After getting revenge on Buddy by killing him with a crucifix, Vikki reveals to Billy that she is secretly Mary Lou, back for revenge, after seductively sitting on his lap. Billy makes no real effort to stop this underage student from grinding on his lap, further proving that this man should not be running this administration. 

Then, it’s time once again for Prom Night! Wearing the stolen Prom dress that started this whole thing, possessed Vikki sits in her bedroom... on the rocking horse… stroking its face as its organic tongue once again flails around. Turns out this rocking horse isn’t the most disturbing thing that this film has to offer though! Vikki’s dad enters, and regales her with the tale of his first Prom Night, telling her that this is a night she will remember forever. “I hope so,” Vikki says, as she walks up, and starts kissing him. Kissing her father. I told you, Mary Lou just loves to screw, and doesn’t care who!

Now, you might be saying, well, it’s Mary Lou controlling her body, so it’s not like Vikki is willingly attempting incest. And, you’re right. She’s not… but he is. Yes, as his daughter walks up to him and begins to kiss him, her father kisses her back, and the two make-out for a minute, until the mom enters the room and Vikki walks away. This is never addressed again.

As the film continues to build towards Prom Night, there’s a subplot where Kelly, another one of the Prom Queen nominees, gives a nerdy kid a blowjob so that he’ll rig the competition in her favor, but both are electrocuted by Mary Lou through a computer. I would elaborate more on this subplot, but, well, it just wasn’t very good. In fact, it blew, Mary Lou!

And, so, at the Prom, Vikki is crowned queen. Pretty much none of the other contenders are even alive any more, but no one at this school seems to really care about that. As she takes the stage to receive her crown, Billy once again takes to the rafters, his perfect vantage point for murdering Prom Queens which the school apparently did not consider worth removing in the in-between years. This time, Billy is armed not with a stink bomb, but with a pistol, because, again, this guy really should not be running a school. 

There is a kind of morbid humor in the extremity of the whole thing, as Prom Night II follows up its incest with a principal shooting the Prom Queen in cold blood, right in the view of her boyfriend who is still unaware of the possession. You know, everyone is this movie is going to have a lot of explaining to do once this whole possession thing wraps up....

As Craig holds Vikki’s body in his arms, her flesh rips open, revealing the true Mary Lou underneath, who proceeds to wreck telekinetic havoc on the Prom. It’s like Carrie… but not like that at all. 

Mary Lou chases Craig to the basement, and is about to kill him, when Billy appears again, and crowns her Prom Queen, causing her to disappear. Huh, so if that’s all it took, maybe you should have just let that whole crowning ceremony go forward as planned then, instead of shooting one of your students, huh, Billy?  

Anyway, with Mary Lou gone, Craig hears Vikki call out from that old chest in the basement. Craig knows that it is the true Vikki, because she holds that now-plot-convenient-but-still-horribly unromantic cross necklace. Craig and Vikki walk outside, find Billy, and get into a car to drive away. 

In the car, Billy turns on the radio. It plays “Hello, Mary Lou” by Ricky Nelson. Billy turns around, his eyes shining as if possessed, indicating he never did get around to taking that Communion! Billy drives away laughing, his license plate reading “MARY LU-2,” a custom job that presumably was just serendipitous, considering I don’t know when Mary Lou found the time to go to the DMV during all this.

And so, another year, another Prom Night. What Hello Mary Lou! lacks in not having the presence of Jamie Lee Curtis or Leslie Nielsen from the first one, it makes up for in sheer absurdity, drastically shifting the tone and style of the series within just one sequel. But, hey, it wouldn’t be high school without an identity crisis, I suppose. Like most horror films, its final scare allows it to escape having to deal with the ramifications of many of its events, meaning we never find out what happens to the Carpenter family now that it’s been revealed the dad really wants to screw his daughter. We also never get to find out what happens to that rocking horse…. meaning it could still be out there! Maybe even right behind you as you read this!! OH MY GOD!!  

Yeah, the incest is probably more disturbing. And so, Hello Mary Lou!, I bid you adieu.

Hello Mary Lou! Prom Night II is available to stream on Amazon Prime, and is on DVD.

NEXT: The Night POORLY-CONCEALED, PROBLEM-PUSHING MISNOMERS Came Home…

[creativitytoexplore]

What would you do on impulse? https://ift.tt/2SYthjG

"No, fuck you dad!" I bellowed as I stormed out of the room. I was fervid, blood was coursing madly through my veins. My ears felt like burning charcoals, and I was shaking. Enough of this bullshit. One last thing before I get out of this hell-hole.

I put a mysterious sticker containing a smiley face on it on my tongue and patted my pocket to check if my Pixiu was there. My Jade Pixiu was a personal totem of mine. I made it right after I watched 'Inception', (That was a hell of a movie by the way.) It was a Chinese feng-shui thing - A flying lion whose unruly behavior caused the Jade Emperor to slap its butt so hard its butthole got sealed. Not kidding.

The Pixiu was chipped from when I dropped it on the floor, not accidentally. Only I know the exact position and texture of the chipped part. If I was in a dream, the Pixiu would not be chipped, and hence I will know that I was in a dream.

I grabbed my dad's car keys on impulse and go out of the house. I didn't tell my father that I had his keys. I snickered. I got down the stairs, unlocked the car, and got into it.

It was nighttime. We lived in a very busy colony, so the night air was filled with the sounds from the street. I drove my car all the way down to the beach, I don't know how I did it - I was on autopilot.

I stopped at the beach to gaze at nature and chill a bit. The air hung heavy and tasted of salt. It was a dark and desolate place, that beach. You see, it was located a good distance away from the hustle and bustle of the city. So I was all on my own.

By now, the LSD I had taken had started to kick in. It made everything all the more surreal to me. I laid back, taking in the beauty of my surroundings. I always had loved the sea, I sought refuge in it whenever I felt sad or angry or lonely. Something about the raging waves crashing against each other, spewing spouts of brine and mist and foam, calmed my soul.

It was quite eerie. Not a soul around me, and my surroundings were barely visible. Civilization was miles away, and I was surrounded by the dense canopy of a nearby forest. All of a sudden, my headlights dimmed. I was confused.

Were my eyes playing tricks on me?

Right then, my phone beeped an unusual beep. I received a message from 'ma'am'. I didn't know who it was, and I don't remember having any contact named 'ma'am'. Weird.

The message contained a video. I clicked on it.

Wrong Click.

It was a strange video in which a lady was in a dark forest. All around her were animals with glowing yellow eyes. They were growling and circling menacingly around her. They made weird hisses and radiated a kind of darkness. The night seemed to grow darker around them as if that is even possible. Chills tingled down my spine.

Who the fuck would send me this strange video at this ungodly hour?

It was very queer. After watching the video, I felt the effects of LSD multiply manifold. Was it my imagination? I had to clutch my seat hard and brace myself.

At that moment, I received the shock of my life. My car lurched forward and launched itself into a 360-degree spin. It was spinning wildly and I had no control. I realized in horror that my hands were glued to the wheel, and I was the one who was doing it. I tried to wrench my hands off the steering in vain. My hands seemed to clasp at dear life the way they didn't let go off the wheel.

I looked around and was stupefied. The glowing yellow eyes were around me again, this time I could see it was a dog. Or two. Weirdly, my body released tons of adrenaline upon the sight of these dogs. I have to admit, they looked very scary, but how come my body knew to release a fucking chemical on its own? (Don't blame me, I was on LSD. I forgot that this was what the body does in face of danger).

Suddenly I remember that all the windows were down and our car was open back. Imagine my reaction.

Luckily right then I regained back control of my arms. Creepy. But I didn't complain, I raced my car down the road... only to find out I forgot how to drive. This time I couldn't take my foot off the accelerator, and boy oh boy was I in for the ride of my life. My car raced down the beach with increasing speed, at a level of rashness and recklessness that would make F1 racers proud.

I had yet another reason to worry- the car was going a slightly crooked angle to the left. This meant it was going straight into the beach. To my doom.

This thought gave me renewed strength and I was able to turn my car around. I tugged at my wheel hard and managed to turn it around and slowed down.

I stopped for a second and got out instead of racing back home. Yeah, I did that. I howled into the deep, dark Nyx, "Fuck you dogs! FUCK YOU. Fuck you, world!" This was actually why I came to the beach in the first place, to vent out my anger by shouting out loud.

I took my Pixiu out and checked for the chipped part. It was there. This wasn't a dream. Oh, well.

I looked around. I saw those darned dogs - more of them. It seems they were at a distance, fighting their life out. Wrong move to stop the car, indeed.

Okay, enough time-pass, time to go home I thought. As I turned to go to my car, I saw that the huge dogs were sprinting towards me with vengeance in their glowing yellow eyes, and drooling mouths with intimidating fangs. I raced to my seat and tried to drive back.

The car wouldn't start.

What timing, I thought. I got out and pushed my car. It was an upward slope, woe me. I pushed with all my might and made it to the summit and the car started going down. Frighteningly fast so.

I somehow ran and clung to the car, and got in from the back. I sat in my seat. The car was out of control. I couldn't find the goddamned brake, and the car was gaining momentum.

I swerved left and right, here and there, in a blur of fierce dogs, unforgiving car metal, and my adrenaline. A while passed.

After what seemed like an eternity, I got rid of the canines at my tail. Now the last straw was I still couldn't find the goddamned brake.

The car went headfirst down a very steep slope, and I knew I had entered the city, for the unmistakable sounds of the town and people talking with each other hung in the gloomy air. I needed to take a left and swerved hard, a little too hard maybe. For I had just missed a lady with inches.

I regained control of my brakes again, Thank God. And I made my way home.

I reached home and waited at the doorstep, ready to apologize to my dad and promise him that I won't be a dick again. I took a deep breath and calmed myself down. I was filled with gratitude, for living, for being back home. sigh. I can decide whether what happened was a dream or not later.

I barged in. The walls were a different color, there were different couches, different things. Some people in the living room saw me in my disheveled state and started screaming. I cried out "sorry" and slammed the door shut. It was my home, no doubt. The same number, the same floor, the same building. But then again, it was not the same home. Everything, every fucking thing was changed inside.

No, something was very wrong with me, I thought. I looked down and realized that I have changed. I had a full beard, I was tall and fully grown. And my voice was deep and different when I said sorry.

You know what the strange thing is? I was fucking 16 when I started on my little adventure.

.

.

Months passed as I learned to embrace my new self. I have a girlfriend living with me in an apartment now. Her name is Christy. She is older than me, and we are deep in love. I am glad that I am still alive and somehow put my life back together.

I still remember the incident with vivid clarity, how it made time jump 7 years into the future for me. I started to believe it was all a dream. To be honest, my older childhood was slipping away from my memory. I have these weird moments where I could recollect specific moments and incidents of another guy's life and childhood, probably my new self's.

But I still remember my old parents, and how they looked, and how they treated me. God bless them.

But anyway, I was hungry and went into the kitchen. I and my girlfriend take turn cooking, and today she was cooking something emitting a very pleasing smell, indeed.

Suddenly, I felt like I was on LSD once again. I don't know what got over me. On impulse, I lifted Christy's skirt and stuck my hand deep into her warm, wet, hairy buttcrack.

.

.

~ CallMeDirus

submitted by /u/CallMeDirus [link] [comments]

[cyclinginaskirt-uk]

Acrophobia; the irrational fear of heights or Basophobia; the fear of falling; both both genuine phobias and both the current personal experience between which I’m shuffling frantically.

It’s a mental shuffle of course as I’m actually frozen to the spot, extreme terror rendering me immobile, plastered against the back of the cable car with my eyes shut, whimpering and clinging on for dear life.

I should probably point out that this is no life-threatening situation, the lift bubble, in fully functioning order, is just swaying languidly up its final ascent of the mountain summit. I on the other hand am a complete wreck and this is only day one. Not liking the idea of extreme heights, or falling from them, I have to fight long and hard with my natural reaction to run screaming from any of the very flimsy looking ski lifts that flow up and down the mountain area of Tignes.

The trade-off however for enduring the humiliation of having to be scraped out of the cable car like a lump of jelly is that my bike and I get a gloriously quick ride to the summit, after which, I can scare myself nearly as much by riding the trails back down the mountain.

Welcome to fear 101 and the joy of mountain biking in the Alps.

Following on from a baptism of fire last year in the bike parks of Les Gets and Morzine, I’ve chosen (yep, it was an actual choice) to return to the Alps this summer, this time to the French resort of Tignes (pronounced ‘Teen‘), a purpose built ski resort/Olympic venue in winter and mountain bike paradise in summer. This year it was also meant to be the finishing point for one of the final Tour De France stages until freak hail storms and mudslides dramatically stopped the race.

Comprising of 5 villages (I know this from the hotel quiz) Tignes sprawls up the mountainside between an elevation of 1,440 and 2100 metres. I’m staying near the upper end in Tignes Le Lac and the day after arriving I’m really feeling the altitude.

As I puff and gasp my way up the road to the bike hire shop I can only hope that this altitude training will have spectacular gains when I return to sea level as right now even carrying a cup of coffee is making me gasp for breath. I’d expected the trails to cause my heart rate rise of course I just hadn’t foreseen it to be quite so elevated before getting on the bike!

Day one and I’ve discovered that in Tignes, bikes and suspension forks are big….and hire prices are even bigger.

As there’s a definite difference in the ratio of male to female riders (a quick straw poll would say 75-80% male), frames are also geared to the larger biker, presumably why the hire shop offer me a child’s bike at first! Having declined my only remaining option is a Kona Stinky which, with 200mm of fork travel both front and back, is ridiculously over-sprung for what I need. Add to this the set of body armour and full face helmet I’ve been strapped in to and I feel I should be taking on Red Bull rampage, not the lowly green trails on which we’re starting.

M, whom I’m with, has of course lucked out and managed to hire a reasonably priced, perfectly sized Kona Process 153 for the week. Grrr.

Decked out like robocop, the first stop is the Palafour lift, dead centre of town. Unlike Les Gets this lift is free and has lovely assistants who lift your bike on and off, so all terrified first timers like me need to concentrate on is getting themselves in situ – easier said than done.

It’s a chilly 10 minute ride up to the frigid heights of the mountain to 2564 metres. The view of snow drifts and gambolling marmots offers some distraction at least from both the altitude and the distance from which one would crash to earth.

As in the UK, French MTB trails are generally graded green (easiest), blue, red and black although as I learned last year, a French green trail and a UK one bear little in common indeed French green is UK green on steroids.

Being early in the season (the lifts only opening the previous week) there’s still snow on some of the trails and as we start off down the green trail we are immediately skidding everywhere on icy drifts, it’s an exhilarating start. The trails are in good condition though, free mostly from the annoying washboard effect of braking bumps and immediately enjoyable!

They’re still surprisingly technical but after our initiation in Morzine last year maybe we’ve revised our expectations, or just got a little better. Whichever, the swoopy descents and hairpins make a technical but satisfying first run.

The runs may be better than expected but the bike certainly isn’t, the big front end making it heavy and hard to steer. The saddle is also set at its lowest point meaning you can’t sit and pedal unless you have your knees up by your elbows like a toddler. This kind of arrangement is fine if you’re shredding down the black runs but exhausting if you have to pedal the flatter sections and my leg muscles are already on fire.

That morning we give the Palafour lift a work out covering all the green and blue runs. The blues, surprisingly, differ little from the greens, a bit steeper, looser, rockier but great to ride albeit with shakier and shakier legs.

A quick coffee stop and we tackle Le Lac’s opposing mountain via the next scary ski lift.

The Toviere bubble (enclosed car) takes you up to 2704 meters to intersect with the chair lift from Val Claret. From here there’s the option of a multitude of green, blue and red runs either back down to Le Lac or to Val D’Isere on the other side of the mountain.

The day’s adrenaline is catching up both from biking and from surviving the lifts but for some reason we opt to return to Le Lac down Gunpowder, 4.5km of fast blue trail and a full on 600 metre rapid descent of steeply sloping berms (banked corners) which just keep on coming. Already fatigued, legs wobbling we hit the downward trail after which there’s little stopping. By the time we reach the bottom my fingers are like claws, frozen to the brakes and my legs are shaking so much I can hardly pedal, but we’re down, in one piece and you might say it was nearly fun. Nearly.

The next day the stinky and I have gone our separate ways and I’ve managed to find a brand new Mondraker Stealth, 170mm of travel both ends and mercifully, a dropper seat post, in Tignes this is classed as an enduro (cross country) bike but it’s more than sufficient for my needs and skills.

Happier already we have a quick warm up via the Palafour trails before heading up Toviere as today we’re intent on exploring the trails down to Val d’Isere.

At around 13km in length from the furthest lifts station these are some of the longest trails in the Alps and oh so worthwhile. The creatively named Borsattack, Val Bleue and Popeye are beautifully built and are a joy to ride. Twisty, flowy tracks that wind sinuously ever downwards they are packed with table top jumps which you can dispatch or avoid as required, rock gardens and boarded bridges as you descend down the stark upper slopes into lush green alpine meadows and pine forests on blue grade (or green if preferred) trail until you’re finally spat out, breathless, exhausted in the pretty (and ruinously expensive) resort of Val D’Isere for a much needed rest and recovery stop.

After lunch we headed back up via the Olympique/Bellevarde bubble lift, a staggeringly steep 1000 metre ascent that seems to go on forever before disgorging into a large, chilly station 2827 metres above sea level.

Again more descending on the fantastic bermy Val Bleue (blue) trail, winding past lakes and snow, through the middle of the mountain before reaching the final Borsat lift. Here there’s the option to return directly to Val d’Isere on the same Val Bleue trail or to ride it from its highest mountain source (Blue Lagoon) via the lift.

It had to be done! The chairlift takes nearly 15 minutes to ponderously dangle you over a range of frightening drops and ice fields before looking like it’s going to smash you directly into the bleak grey mountain, only cresting a ridge at the final moment before impact. When you reach the top station at 2800 metres, unlike the other lifts, this chair doesn’t really lose speed, meaning a hasty leap off at the top and a mad scramble to clear the cornering chair and grab your bike before the lift kneecaps you on the way round.

The top of the Blue Lagoon trail is stark but worth it just for the completeness of going as high as you can. Heading down quickly (as it’s freezing at this height) steep, loose shale tracks descend for a km or two before giving you a final choice, carry on down back to Val D’Isere or return to the Val Claret resort. As it’s begun to rain we opt to head back via Val Claret.

Gone are the pleasant trails which cut across the mountain, you’re now riding down the side again, steep, zig zaggy loose paths with a long, long drop on either side are amazing for focusing the mind.

Trusting the bike probably as much or more than my skills we plummet downwards, the ground getting slippery with the falling rain. After the initial plunge the trail does level out for the next km or so for some smoother, enjoyable cross country riding before finally linking up with the Val Claret descents from yesterday, Gun Powder and Kangooride. We took the latter of these not having experienced it and in the falling drizzle continued the final 3.5km of downhill on a roller-coaster of a trail carved into the steep face of the mountain.

It was certainly a relief to be spat out, intact, shaky, and happy at the foot of the Val Claret lift leaving only the last, calming pedal around the lake to complete the day’s riding before a well-earned cup of tea and cake back at the hotel.

A day off for some road biking and an ascent of the col De L’Iseran before the final day on the bikes. By now I’m adding in some bits of the red trails although I’m cautious. Most of them give a chicken run around larger obstacles and jumps but occasionally no such opt out is offered which leaves an embarrassing and difficult heaving of bikes down the trail to bypass these features.

The last thing that we want to tackle is some of the All-Mountain trails, these having a more cross-country focus i.e. you have to pedal up as well as down, but we’ve been warned, this being Tignes, they tend towards the extreme and the technical. Because of this we’ve chosen WonderBoisses, graded as ‘Improver’, the only other options being advanced and expert!

We should have been forewarned when even the start was gruelling. Heading directly up under the Palafour lift, the innocuous gravel trail doesn’t look much but it’s a lung buster given the altitude and not helped by the fact we’re still wearing all our robo-cop body armour and full face helmets. With sweat dripping copiously the trail veers across a field of disinterested cows, necessitating climbing under various electric fences, before heading up the side of the mountain.

We wind steadily upwards for the next km or so along ledges that are barely wider than the bike, a precipitous drop on or right hand side. In places the trail rounds a bend and seems to disappear in to nowhere. Not nowhere, just plunging downwards, keeping you on your toes. I’m walking bits of it too where landslips have covered the trail leaving you to haul the bike over slippery humps of rubble. It’s actually good to be pedalling again too, even if it is upwards. Eventually the climb tops out and the descent begins, still on the narrow-ledged trails before heading inland fractionally and beginning a highly technical downhill on dusty forest trails covered in boulders and drop offs down which the bike slithers and bounces, throw in the odd hairpin and it’s blood-pumping stuff.

The trail emerges briefly on the grassy roof of one of the road tunnels, carved into the mountain which you pass under on the drive up to Le Lac, before rising and falling in a delightful series of forest trails, not quite so demanding but still requiring focus before disgorging you in the lower village of Tignes Le Boisses. Here a handy and much appreciated free Navette bus service drags you and the bike back up the mountain where, if you like, you can do it all again!

Having learned to quit on a high we do just that and, after saying goodbye to the lovely Mondraker and not so lovely body armour, we head gratefully for the nearest bar and a well-earned beer.

Tignes is certainly a full on experience which I’d heartily recommend to those with a little mountain biking knowledge. I’m no Rachel Atherton but with a few years of riding, quite a few lessons and countless falls under my belt this was technical, demanding riding, for which I had just enough skill/luck to be able to enjoy it.

I chose not to fly my bike out as I was concerned it wouldn’t stand up to the trails and, despite the hire cost – 70-85 euro per day – I think that was a wise decision. In addition all hire bikes tend to come with full face helmets, body armour, pads and optional insurance, with the added benefit of wearing out someone else’s bike parts.

It was without doubt a spectacular place to ride and despite the week of full-on adrenaline I leave with a definite sense of that peace and contentment which comes from spending time in the mountains doing what you love and the happy knowledge that I won’t have to brave another ski lift for at least the foreseeable future.

If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try.... Acrophobia; the irrational fear of heights or Basophobia; the fear of falling; both both genuine phobias and both the current personal experience between which I’m shuffling frantically.

[idontneedtobeforgiven]

holy shit i literally have no words for your vm fic on ao3 it was so good! now i'm dying to know the story of how tessa gave scott his first bj 😏

Aw thank you! Originally, I got the idea of Scott teaching Tessa how to drive as something just purely fluffy but then I added it to this story and just made it smutty lmao. Here’s a very short, rough drabble as to how that went down 

This is not a short and rough drabble. This somehow became 3330 words of how Scott received his first blowjob. It’s probably garbage but HERE YA GO!

Teaching Tessa how to drive is kind of pointless. Her parents gave her Kevin’s old car for her to learn on and Tessa rolls her eyes when Scott tells her to just take it slow, to ease her foot on the pedal. She pulls on to the empty stretch of road like she’s been driving for years. “It’s not that difficult,” she says, checking the rear view mirror and over her shoulder before she changes lanes. “I’ve been watching you drive forever. It’s just a confidence game.”

The next time he takes her out, it’s in his truck which is a stick, and this doesn’t come easy to her in the least bit. She gets this look on her face that he’s only seen on the ice before, an angry calm that wrinkles her brow and turns down the corner of her lips. The truck dies five times and they haven’t even left the side of the road, only made it a few feet down from where Scott parked it to begin with.

Tessa isn’t a quitter but he knows she’s getting frustrated with herself so he opens up the glove compartment and pulls out the chocolate she had stashed there. “I don’t deserve any,” she says when he holds out a square and Scott rolls his eyes and throws the chocolate at her anyway.

“You’re not going to get it in one day, T. I didn’t.”

She picks up the piece of chocolate that landed on the seat between them, blows off some fuzz and pops it in her mouth. “I guess.”

Scott reaches over, turns the keys to the off position. They pass the chocolate back and forth, talking about nothing and everything. It’s nice in a weird way, because it hasn’t been this easy between them in a few years. It’s probably mostly his fault but he wouldn’t say that aloud, ever.

For the next week on their way home from training, he drives them to this same stretch of road and Tessa fails to get them very far from where they start. She’s still annoyed each time but it always ends in them spending at least an hour talking when she gives up for the night (or when he tells her she needs to stop because he doesn’t want his truck to completely fuck up). He tells her about breaking up with his girlfriend and how his teacher thinks he should go up a math course. She tells him about the dissection in her bio class and how her mom keeps pushing for her to go on birth control.

“I can’t afford the weight gain,” she sighs before picking up their shared gatorade and taking a sip. “Besides, it’s not like I’m doing anything down there.”

“Tess,” he groans and she rolls her eyes as she passes him the drink.

“Shut up, it’s not like I don’t know you’re having sex. Don’t be such a baby.”

“You’re fourteen,” he says, trying to defend how uncomfortable he is at the thought of Tessa like that.

“You had sex two days before your fifteenth birthday,” she deadpans. “Besides, you still look like you’re fourteen.”

“Rude,” he grumbles. She rolls her eyes again as he recaps the drink and she fishes a carrot out of the plastic baggy between them. “You’re not though, right?”

“Having sex?” He nods. “No, I told you, nothing is going on down here,” she says, motioning to her pelvis with her carrot before she takes a bite. “Well, nothing with a penis.”

“Tessa,” he moans, hand coming up to rub at his face. “I don’t want to hear this.”

“You asked!”

It’s silent for a moment and yeah, he has to do this. He knows Tessa can take care of herself but he’s a teenage boy and he knows that all teenage boys are douches. “You’re not doing anything you don’t want to do right?” He doesn’t look at her while he speaks, hopes that he’s not pink in the face with the fact that he’s talking to Tessa about sex. Period talk he can handle. This, he cannot.

“I promise that I’m only doing things I want to do,” she says. He feels her hand on his and he looks up to find her smiling at him. “Thanks for worrying though.”

The next week, Tessa manages to keep his truck alive long enough to pull out on the road but that’s about as far she she can get. He tries to get her comfortable just using the clutch, taking control of the stick shift while she focuses solely on getting her feet right. It helps at least get them back over to the side of the road and when he asks if she wants to try again, she shrugs and tells him to pull out the snacks she packed in her bag.

They talk about making the potential switch to online classes. She worries that it’ll isolate them too much, won’t give them enough time to keep up with friendships outside of the skating world, and he’s inclined to agree. He brings up the fact that online classes could at least help them move faster, bringing up how bored she is with her English and history courses and mentions again how bored he is in his math class.

He finishes off the kale chips she made and she looks deep in thought and he’s expecting her to go quite for a while when suddenly she looks at him, face blank. “When was the last time you got off?” He looks at her like she’s grown three heads and she lets out the heaviest sigh. “Scott, you were getting hard during practice today. That hasn’t happened since you were like, thirteen.”

“Sorry,” he says in lieu of anything else and his face feels like it’s on fire.

“I don’t care,” she says. “I just thought you might.” He hopes that’s the end of it but Tessa doesn’t let it go. “I know you’re single now but-”

“Please do not continue-”

“You should mast-”

“Tessa, stop-”

“It’s a natural part of life, Scott!”

“I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Okay, even if you don’t want to take care of yourself, surely there are other girls who will-”

“Tessa,” he shouts, putting his hand over her mouth. Her eyes go wide above his hand. “I’m not talking about my dick with you.” Her eyebrows drop down and then his hand is wet and he pulls it back, wiping where she licked on his jeans.

“We talk about my period, why can’t we talk about this?” He doesn’t look at her, just opens his door and tells her to slide across the bench.

Another week passes and Tessa manages to get her foot work down. They can make it down the road so long as Scott is the one controlling the stick shift and Tessa looks so proud of herself that Scott knows he’s smiling like an idiot. He thinks she could try working the stick after the U turn she takes but after shifting into the wrong gear three times and his truck makes a scary noise, he takes back over.

When they pull over to have their snacks (this time he brought cookies that his mom sent down and they picked up some chocolate milk from the corner store they pass on their way to the rink), Tessa turns so her back is resting on the door, legs pulled up on to the seat. “You know Lily, right?” He nods. “I bet she’d go out with you if you asked.”

He cocks his head to the side. “Okay…”

Tessa wiggles in her seat. “She puts out,” Tessa says nonchalantly, picking out the m&ms from the cookie in her hand.

“Are we really talking about this again?”

Tessa shrugs. “You got hard at practice again.” He groans, apology on the tip of his tongue but Tessa just sticks out a foot, pokes his thigh. “It’s fine. I just think you should take care of yourself.”

“I don’t want to fuck Lily.”

“Nobody said you had to have sex with her.”

“What else would I do?” He watches her stare at him blankly for a moment before she does the crudest thing he has ever seen a girl do (and he’s had sex so this is saying a lot). She moves her lips into the shape of an O, tongue pushing out the side of one of her cheeks, fist coming towards her mouth to move in time with her tongue. “Oh my god,” he groans. “I can’t believe you just- Oh my god.” He screws his eyes shut and shakes his head. “No. I’m not- Girls don’t even like doing that.”

Tessa blinks, once, twice, then, very timidly, says, “I do.” His head jerks up to look at her and she looks nervous now, like she hasn’t just been matter-of-factly been talking about sex with him a few times now. “Is that weird?”

He stutters a little, unsure of how to handle this. “I think you’re probably the minority in this case, T.” Tessa looks thoughtful, staring not really at him but definitely in his direction. “I wouldn’t ever ask a girl to do that if she didn’t want to…” He swallows hard. He’s never asked any girl he’s been with for a blowjob, never felt the need to. He knows that most girls just see it as a chore and he’s sure it’s great (his brothers tell him it is) but if sex, actual sex, is on the table, why wouldn’t he just go for that? It’s so, so weird to hear that Tessa’s given blowjobs and he tries to tell himself it’s because she’s younger, tries to tell himself it’s because it’s Tessa, who he’s known since she was seven, tries to tell himself that it’s because he didn’t expect Tessa to do something before him when it came to sex. He tries to ignore the way his boxers start to tighten and god, no, no, no.

Tessa’s definitely staring at him now, considering. Then, she licks her lips and says, “I’ll blow you.” His reaction is to scoff or maybe to laugh but his dick twitches like an absolute traitor and words get lodged in his throat until something akin to a whine and a groan snakes its way out. He lets out a heavy breath through his nose and his hands have clenched into fists at his side. He starts to shake his head but Tessa rolls her eyes at him (and god, she’s doing that so much now, it’s so irritating). “If it’s going to stop you from getting a semi every practice, I’m happy to do it.”

It sounds like some sort of pity blowjob and no, that’s not how his first blowjob is going to go down.

“What,” she asks, voice about an octave higher than normal. He looks at her confused and she continues. “You’ve never had a blowjob?”

“I said that out loud,” he practically yells and she breaks into a fit of laughter while he feels like leaving her here in his truck while he walks home. “Tess,” he groans and he can hear her working to slow her breathing in an effort to stop her giggling. “Can we please just pretend this entire day didn’t happen?”

“Nope,” she says, lips popping the word out. She moves the cookies out of the middle of the seat so she can slide closer to him. She leaves space to breathe, space for him to bolt if he needs to. “Scott?” She says his name slow and measured. “Can you look at me please?” He does even though he feels like dying and it really just is so unfair that she looks older than he does. “Can I blow you,” she asks sincerely and Scott really cannot believe this is happening.

“You don’t ha-”

“I want to,” she’s quick to add and that seems like something they should probably talk about. “I told you, I like doing it. And it’ll help you cool off for practices.” She gives a little shrug. “It’s a win-win.”

This seems like a bad idea. No, he’s almost certain this is a bad idea. But he can feel himself getting flustered more now that she’s closer and saying all this stuff and before he fully realizes it, he’s nodding and she’s smiling and her hands are on his sweats.

He wants to touch her too, thinks he should, but he doesn’t know if that’s allowed. He tucks his hands under his thighs so he doesn’t accidentally do something that’ll make her hate him (or him hate himself). Her fingers hook under the waistband of his clothes and he lets his head fall back, not sure he can handle watching her do this. It’s uncomfortably quiet in the cab of his truck and he almost wants to stop her so that they can put on some music but then he hears her spit and then a wet hand wraps around his half hard dick, grip just right. She strokes him a few times and his breathing has definitely gotten heavier and he thinks that hers has too but it’s hard to focus with his heart beating so hard in his ears.

“Condom,” she asks once he’s fully hard in her hand.

“Backpack.” It’s cold when she pulls away to reach into the backseat, his dick left bobbing in the air but she makes quick work of finding the condom that was thankfully still in there. She rolls it on him easily and it makes his stomach churn thinking about how often she’s done this. Not that there’s anything wrong with it if she has done this a lot. It’s just not something he expected from Tessa. Tessa who he’s known since she was seven.

How is he letting this happen?

“Oh,” she mutters and that doesn’t sound good. “How long has this been in your backpack?”

He opens his eyes, finds her looking at his dick most concerned. He looks down, sees the slight rip in the condom at the side about half way down. “Shit,” he sighs but then, maybe this is the sign he’s been looking for. They really shouldn’t be doing this and this is a sign.

She drags the condom off his dick and his hips jump into her hand. She pauses. “Are you clean?”

She still wants to do this.

Holy sweet hell.

“You’d know if I went to the doctor,” he says because it’s true. Sometimes it feels like he can’t even take a shit without Tessa knowing they spend so much of their time together.

Tessa considers this and then gives a little nod. “Okay,” she says and then she’s scooting back, broken condom dropped to the floorboard. He needs to remember to throw that out when he gets home.

She’s given herself enough space to bend forward comfortably and when her tongue first grazes his dick, he bites his lip so hard, he’s sure it’s going to bleed.

Her tongue licks the length of him twice, her hand coming to wrap tight around the base of his cock when her mouth moves to take him in. She starts slow, first only taking in the head of his cock while her hand shortly strokes him. Her mouth is so warm, so wet, and her tongue is rigid as it swirls around him. With each bob of her head, she takes him a little deeper, keeps working her hand in time with her mouth.

He still hasn’t looked down at her but then he feels the soft scrape of her teeth and his hips jerk, pushing himself deeper than she’s gone so far and his eyes open wide. He didn’t mean to do that, hopes she isn’t upset, but, even though he can hear her choke a little, she moans. She moans loud and he feels the vibrations around him and he digs his hands into the seat underneath him.

Tessa pulls him out of her mouth and oh, there’s so much saliva hanging from her mouth, connecting her to his dick which glistens with her. “You can do that again,” she pants, looking him in the eye. He can’t stop looking at her swollen lips or the way her eye make up has started to run. It’s like he’s seeing her for the very first time again and his heart stutters in his chest and his dick twitches in her grip. She bends back down, head bobbing twice before she pulls off him again slowly, cheeks hollowed and eyes looking up at him. With her free hand, she taps his arm. “You can touch me, if you want,” she says, running her tongue over her lips. “I don’t mind if you pull my hair… I like it.”

How he doesn’t immediately cum in her hand, Scott has no idea.

She’s on him again, wrist twisting as it glides over him, mouth and tongue taking more and more and more until he can feel her swallow around him. Hesitantly, he puts a hand to her hair, lets his fingers thread through the tangled locks. Like a reward, she moves faster, her teeth coming into play again. He grips the hair at the base of her skull and when he gives it an experimental tug, the whine she releases is muffled by his cock.

Motivated by her noises, he keeps a strong hold on her hair and he must be doing something right because Tessa seems to go into overdrive. She sucks him off hard and deep, her nose brushing his thigh, and the hand that had been aiding her has moved down to cup his balls through his pants. It makes him jerk into her mouth again. No one else has ever done that before.

She rolls them softly in her hand and Scott can feel himself sweating, his breath coming in harsh pants. “T,” he groans, trying to actually pull her off him because if she keeps going, he’s going to cum in her mouth. “T,” he repeats. “I’m gonna cum.”

To his complete and utter surprise, she gives him a thumbs up and stays on his dick. In fact, her efforts seem to double down and she only manages to bob her head three more times before he seizes in her mouth. She tries, he can tell, to swallow it all, but her head isn’t in the right spot or maybe her lips aren’t tight enough around him and so some spills out, running from her mouth and down the sides of his cock. She keeps sucking though, keeps going until his dick settles and softens in her mouth.

She leans back on her knees, lips and chin covered in a mixture of his cum and her saliva and he can feel the stirrings of arousal low in his belly even though he just came.

She looks like a glorious mess. She wipes at her face with her hands, takes her fingers in her mouth to clean them and she looks so proud of herself, lips puffy and red stretching into a shy smile. Shy, like she didn’t just have his dick in his mouth, like the taste of his cum isn’t on her tongue.

“Jesus fucking christ, Tessa,” he breathes out. She smiles a little wider and grabs his water bottle from where the cupholder, pushing it into his shaking hand. Oh, he’s shaking. Jesus.

“What’re friends for,” she says and takes the bottle back from him to take a swig of her own. He feels like he needs to do something in return and the thought of touching Tessa like she just touched him sends his head spinning. She seems to read his mind and shakes her head. “I’m on my period,” she reminds him. “But let’s just say you owe me one when I need it?”

All Scott can do is nod.

[lalast0ne]

On Repeat

Layla

*I’d seen the same dance routine countless times and as I sit at the back of the room, propped against the bar, watching the girls on stage, I can’t help giving a little flick of my hips at exactly the same time they do. Laughing to myself, as my head continues to bop and my pen taps in time to the music. I swivel round on my seat and turn my attention back to the diary in front of me. Dragging my index finger over the tip of my tongue, I use it to flick to the next page, then the next and the next, my smile only growing wider the further into the month I go. From the moment we’d opened the doors to the public, business had been booming. I think I’ve seen practically every resident of the town pass through here and not leave until they’re completely inebriated and convinced they can become a burlesque dancer too. The private booths have been booked solid for every weekend for the next 3 months. The VIP area is in high demand and I’ve even been in talks with Phoebe about putting together some kind of Bachelorette party package to draw more clients in. One week in and it was definitely fair to say that The Steele Cage was in demand and, if it continued like this, was on it’s way to becoming a success. The only downside to the club was the limited time I was getting to spend with Wilder. We’d known from the start it’d be gruelling on us. When you create a business you have to make sacrifices. Long hours, busy days and nights were to be expected, but it feels like I’ve hardly seen him at all this week; not through lack of trying on both our parts, and as silly as it might sound, I miss him. Stolen moments and quick kisses as he was pulled one way and I the other would only suffice so long. I look at my laptop screen as another email pings in and waste no time opening it when the subject title “Resume” catches me eye, once again immersed in work.*

Wilder

*Alone in the office, close to banging my head against the wall as the same song plays on repeat. I open the door and then slam it back again, grabbing my phone to call the sorry ass contractor. He needed to add more sound proofing to the office or I was going to kill someone. Not that I had an issue with that. My fingers were actually itching for it. I lean down and pull my blade from my boots, yelling out my orders to the contractor before cutting the call. He would be here shortly. I raise my hand in the air as the music FINALLY shuts off, growling out my frustration that all the dancers would live another day. I decide to make a break for it while the club was silent and make my escape from the office. My eye catches Layla in the back of the room and I motion my head, beckoning her to me. We needed away from here, if only for 15 minutes.*

Layla

*The bang of the door which leads to the staff area causes my head to snap up in concern. The sight that greets me is a pleasant one. Even the dark and brooding look on your face doesn’t stop the smile from tugging at the corners of my lips. I don’t need to hear the words to know that you’re pissed about something and when the music starts up again and I see you click your neck one way, then the other, I know what’s caused the mood. With one subtle move from you, I snap my laptop shut, jump down from my stool and move toward you as fast as my heel encased feet will carry me.* Well hi there stranger. I thought you’d already left. *My fingers grip at your shirt as I lean in to press as soft kiss to your lips.*

Wilder

*I growl against your lips, my hands on auto pilot, go straight to cup your ass.* Can they not practice in silence? Those songs on repeat are going to cause us to hire all new dancers and I like all of them. Except twitchy on the end. He may have hidden his drug problem for now but it’s only a matter of time until I catch him. *I walk backwards with you towards the exit.* Let’s go get some food before I kill.

Layla

*I raise my eyebrow in amusement.* I think silent practice defeats the object of what they’re trying to achieve today. *My eyes move over to the stage and, in perfect time again, I give a little snap of my hips and laugh when you squeeze my butt a little harder. The dancers, like true professionals, have been here every day practicing, nailing routines and learning new ones. Phoebe’s already brought in 4 more female dancers and asked that I broach the subject of a couple of more male dancers .. but I’m sensing now isn’t the right time. I lift my arm to look at my watch and right on cue my stomach grumbles at the mention of food. Linking my fingers with yours, I nod.* Food sounds like a great idea. I think we can escape from here for a little while without being missed.

Wilder

I don’t care if we are missed. *I growl out a laugh as you give me a look, continuing to push you towards the door.* You’ve got some moves Little Ball of Fire. Next thing I know, you will be on the dance floor. *I quirk my brow.* No, you don’t get extra pay so don’t even think about asking. *We finally make it outside into the cold, snowy afternoon and I pull you close to me.* And the answer is no about more male dancers.

Layla

*I drop your hand and do a little spin in my heels, swaying my hips to the sound of the music.* Maybe a private show instead *Winking, I grab your hand again and nuzzle into your side, trying to shield myself from the cold as the cool air hits my warm skin.* How did you…? *I look up at you in complete confusion. I know I definitely hadn’t asked you yet.* Sometimes I swear you can read minds, Wilder Steele. *Shaking my head before resting it against your shoulder, I try to reason with you.* You need to consider it seriously baby. I don’t want to run those guys into the ground. I refuse to be that kind of boss or business. We’ve got to take care of our workers .. so please just consider it.

Wilder

I have you bugged. *I throw my head back and laugh loud.* I happened upon the tail end of your conversation with Phoebe the other day. You two were both loud chatter boxers that it was hard to miss what you were saying. *I swat your ass hard when you step in the door to the diner, smirking at you when you turn and narrow your eyes.* Remember that next time you want to talk about your amazing partner.

Layla

It’s rude to eavesdrop, Temptation. Nice swerve, by the way. *My narrowed eyes relax slightly and my lips turn up into a genuine smile, returning pleasantries with nearly everyone in the place, as we walk the short distance to the empty table at the back which seems to have become our regular table. I shed my coat and slide in to my seat, grinning at you as you take your seat opposite. I don’t need to look at the menu to know what I’m having. Instead I relax back in my cushioned chair and kick my shoes off under the table, slipping my foot up the cuff of your jeans leg.* So, I’ve been thinking …. and I want to run an idea past you.

Wilder

Damn Layla! *I jump slightly and reach down to grab your foot, dragging my thumb up the arch.* Your toes are frozen. *I put pressure on your heel as the waitress comes over and you pause in ordering. I smirk more, continuing my assault on your foot as you bite back a moan. I give Shelly my order as you work to gain composure. Finally you give your order as I lift your foot onto my legs, pulling on your big toe.* What kind of idea do you need to run by me?

Layla

*I will you to order as quickly as possible, swallowing down a groan as your thumb continues its heavenly assault on the sole of my foot, my eyes close and only when you stop and there’s a moment of silence do I open them again, sit up a little straighter and feel my cheeks illuminate bright red. I smile up at Shelly, who’s starring down at me with an amused smile, clear my throat and quickly put my order in. Only when she’s out of earshot do I look back across the table at you and mouth a single word.* Evil. *My lips press together in a line but I’m not mad at all. I actually have to hold in my protest when you stop.* How would you feel about hiring a duty manager? Someone who can be there when one or neither of us can be. I want us to be able to have days off together, even if we just stay indoors on the sofa and watch films. *My teeth graze over my bottom lip.* I know we’ve only been open a week but I don’t want to get months down the line and us have barely spent any time together. And I definitely don’t want all the time we spend together to be in work. *My head drops to the side and I study your face for your reaction.* What do you think?

Wilder

Sold! *I bring my hand down on the table, a grin on my face.* I think that is a great idea. The club is already off to a roaring success and I can only see it getting busier and busier. One week in and I almost forgot what you looked like. *Winks* You can show me ALL later in private. A reminder of what I am missing while we are making our club even more of an success. *I grab your foot again and lock it in my grip, dragging my thumb nail up your arch and back down. You relax in your seat as Shelly brings our drinks.* Do you have any prospects for duty manager? I have a feeling you have already put feelers out.

Layla

*I blink at your immediate response, smiling when your hand smacks down on the table.* That was easier than I thought it would be … pervert. *Chuckling, I settle back with a contented sigh and enjoy the pleasure you’re inflicting on my foot once more. When our drinks are placed on the table, I smile my thanks at Shelly and wrap my cold fingers around the hot mug.* It’s a little scary how well you know my mind sometimes. *I nod in confirmation.* No prospects yet but I have put the feelers out already and I’ve had some resumes in. I actually received one just before we came out, that, at a quick glance, seemed promising but we’ll see. These ones I don’t mind you doing a background check on before they come in for the interview. If we’re going to be leaving the club in the hands of someone, we’ve got to know we can trust them completely.

Wilder

*I lean in, dropping my voice.* I can finally do my kind of background check on people? You are becoming the best girlfriend ever. *Grinning as I sit back and take a drink of my tea.* Next thing you will be doing is letting me kill the music man. You got to admit he has it coming. He is purposefully playing those sound tracks over and over to get to me. I promise I will make it as painful as possible on him.

Layla

Hey! What do you mean “becoming”? *My toes wiggle and I laugh as you release my foot back into your lap.* This is definitely one situation I’m happy for you to do your in depth background check. We’re leaving our business in someone else’s hands. *I watch you over the top of my mug, which, although it can hide my smile, can’t disguise the amusement in my voice.* You can’t kill the DJ. We need him. I’m sure he’s just as bored with the same songs as you are. Thankfully, there’ll be enough routines so that the music will alternate on a 3 day rotation ..Eventually. *I can’t help but laugh when you growl.* Another perk of hiring a manager. You won’t have to be there as much, so you won’t need to hear the same songs over and over. I’m such an AMAZING girlfriend.

Wilder

You can keep tooting your horn if you keep that up. *Leaning back as Shelly brings our food and I snag your bacon before she can set the plates down.* We need to talk about these bachelorette packages. I will need extra security for that. Something always goes wrong and the prospect of a scorned boyfriend or girlfriend could lead to *I crunch down on the piece of bacon* our club being tainted which I will not have happening.

Layla

*I smile up at Shelly and frown as I watch you enjoy my bacon then drown my pancakes in maple syrup.* At the moment it’s just an idea I was toying with and trying to determine prices. These kinds of things are so popular with ladies. A chance to get drunk, dress up and dance. A couple of hours with the team learning a simple routine in the day and then a private booth in the evening. Maybe even have them perform the routine on stage for everyone as a bit of fun. I think it could potentially be a huge money spinner.

Wilder

We can do it Little Ball of Fire but we need to add in a little extra for security. As fun as they are, trouble can happen. *Shelly comes back with another plate of bacon for you as I dig into my sandwich.* Now lets discuss not going back to work for the rest of the day and make a little trouble of our own.

[dawnajaynes32]

Women with Tools: Featuring Emily Anderson

by Rachel Evans Heath

As floral designers we have all sorts of tools, floral or otherwise, in our aprons, workshops, or toolboxes. We know how to handle a sharp knife, wire cutters, or even a staple gun. We use all these tools regularly.

But what about power tools?

With a large majority of designers being women, the pattern, it seems, is that we know how to quickly steam an aisle runner, but are less comfortable with the bigger electric tools: power drills, table saws, and hammer guns, to name a few.

Did you know that most power tools are often made larger, louder, and heavier than necessary? Some dangerous tools need to be loud to warn those around them to be on guard and not get too close. However, a lot of the unnecessary bulk is kept, to better cater to their male customers. Men liking power tools is the cliché we all hear, fed by such characters as Tim “the tool man” Taylor from Home Improvement, or the burly men illustrated into our children’s books or animated shows, holding a crazed and uncontrollable jack hammer.

But with a recent realization of just how far a designer’s work could expand when incorporating power tools, it has become our mission at Flirty Fleurs to help inspire our female readers to expand their designs via the world of power tools. And to help show us the way, we will be featuring one designer a month from whom we might take inspiration: inspiration from their work, their zeal and their incorporation of power tools.

So starting us off is the woman who inspired this series: Introducing Emily Anderson from Lola Creative in Edmonds, WA.

Emily’s business has expanded outside the realm of just floral design, as she and her team specialize in large, custom pieces of unique art, and flowers, often for large events. They’ve been tackling large installations since 2010.

But Emily’s journey has not always been an easy one. Emily was taught to weld and handle particular tools while studying sculpture at the University of Washington. She describes the condescension she endured while trying to learn and grow more familiar with tools:

“For years, on job sites as a project manager, someone would always ask if I was in high school. Every. Single. Time. …among other condescension. It was hard to gain respect as someone who knew what they were doing- and granted, I had (and still do have) TONS to learn. It was hard to be taken seriously and I remember wishing that I looked older and knew more.

My reaction was to try and be tough and I always felt I needed to prove myself. It’s pushed me to want to learn as much as possible, but looking back, I wish I just let it go and asked more questions. I tended to want to look like I had all the answers and then go home and figure it out rather than using those crews and people with lots of experiences for the resources they were.

I guess I overcame by learning to not fear looking like an amateur. Now I know that I mostly don’t know what I’m doing and am okay with that. Maybe 40% know what I’m doing, 60% figuring it out as I go. I know enough to know I can figure it out.”

But she’s come a long way since college. She encouragingly explains:

“Many women are perfectionists and often have a heightened fear of looking like an amateur. If it’s feeling stupid that keeps you from doing something you want to, know that feeling stupid is the precursor to learning and knowledge.

Just because you might feel apprehensive around tools, doesn’t mean it’s not what you should be doing. If you are curious about it, you should probably do it. Power tools are just dumb, loud machines. They’re predictable too.”

We don’t all have to have a college degree in sculpture to learn how better to handle tools. She says anyone can start anywhere.

“You can really learn how to build anything on Youtube”, she stated. “I would suggest looking for a basic project. If you don’t have your own tools, or someone’s garage to rifle through, your city may have a tool library. Tool rental is crazy cheap at a tool library.”

From there, Emily says it’s just a matter of practice.

“Things only get less scary by repeatedly doing it. I remember thinking when I first started driving, ‘how could anyone be okay doing this.’ But through practice you know what noises to expect, how much power each tool has, how much power you need to exert to control each tool, and what the most likely bad thing to happen would be. By practice you learn that the ‘most likely bad thing’ probably isn’t going to happen.”

But let’s be real for a minute here: there’s a reason we sometimes get nervous around a large table saw. I mean, it definitely can cut off an appendage right? Of course the answer there is yes. It can. But Emily has good news for apprehensive women:

“Luckily, I think most women have a heightened sense of self-protection. So we’re more likely to step away from something than just ‘making something work’ with a lack in preparation and safety.

I actually just learned that ladder incidents were the greatest number of on the job deaths in this industry. But in all those deaths, 100% of them were men. So, I think we women are safe. Just kidding.”

Okay, so maybe you’re willing to give something new a try. What tool does Emily recommend starting off with?

“My favorite tool is a little Milwaukee cordless circular saw. I love it because it’s really light and compact. Without the cord, it takes away the worry about where the cord is- and avoiding cutting it. But if you are looking to buy your first tool, I’d recommend a cordless drill. From there, start making holes and attaching things together to start learning how different materials react. I’d also recommend learning how to measure, scale, and draw out ideas before building. It’s the foundation in planning any build.”

(Emily is actually developing an online course right now that will teach this. Watch CuriousLola.com for more information.)

Feeling inspired yet? If not, let us send you off with a few last thoughts from Emily.

I feel like a powerful woman and a large part of that is because I know that anything I dream up, I can build. And I am no master of anything, I can just make stuff go together and have it not fall over.

But it’s important to know I don’t wait for permission anymore. I don’t wait for an opportunity for someone to show me how to do something, I seek it out. I’m not waiting for someone to ask me to participate. My opportunities are self-made.

Tools, construction and even architecture are dominated by men- Having worked in the world of architecture as a woman, I can only imagine what a world of women builders looks like and how that would transform the built environment. I’m curious not only what it would look and feel like, but what those materials and processes would be like. Construction and events can be terribly wasteful if we’re not careful. So many industries can use a shake up- and it’ll come.

I get that we are only doing events, but it starts with girls being told that tools are for them and that changing their environment by construction and building is something they should do.

I love that any kids wandering by our workshop see a roomful of women with tools.

Be sure to check out this video of the Lola Creative team building a 10×26′ foam-free flower wall using moss for infill, metal display grid, and some rigging and truss for its support- it was in a wind tunnel outside… in August.

Follow Emily’s work on Instagram here. Or visit Curiouslola.com or LolaCreative.com.

(All images in today’s post have been provided by Lola Creative.)

YOU COULD BE FEATURED ON THE FLIRTY FLEURS BLOG!

Know someone (you?) who should be featured on our Women With Tools series? Have them email us at info@flirtyfleurs.com, subject line: Women With Tools Applicant.

Tell us who you are, a little about your design work, and your favorite power tool to use. Include at least 2 pictures of recent projects you’ve done that required power tools and tell us a little about each.

Women with Tools: Featuring Emily Anderson syndicated post

[sarahdraimanflowerpouch]

Women with Tools: Featuring Emily Anderson

by Rachel Evans Heath

As floral designers we have all sorts of tools, floral or otherwise, in our aprons, workshops, or toolboxes. We know how to handle a sharp knife, wire cutters, or even a staple gun. We use all these tools regularly.

But what about power tools?

With a large majority of designers being women, the pattern, it seems, is that we know how to quickly steam an aisle runner, but are less comfortable with the bigger electric tools: power drills, table saws, and hammer guns, to name a few.

Did you know that most power tools are often made larger, louder, and heavier than necessary? Some dangerous tools need to be loud to warn those around them to be on guard and not get too close. However, a lot of the unnecessary bulk is kept, to better cater to their male customers. Men liking power tools is the cliché we all hear, fed by such characters as Tim “the tool man” Taylor from Home Improvement, or the burly men illustrated into our children’s books or animated shows, holding a crazed and uncontrollable jack hammer.

But with a recent realization of just how far a designer’s work could expand when incorporating power tools, it has become our mission at Flirty Fleurs to help inspire our female readers to expand their designs via the world of power tools. And to help show us the way, we will be featuring one designer a month from whom we might take inspiration: inspiration from their work, their zeal and their incorporation of power tools.

So starting us off is the woman who inspired this series: Introducing Emily Anderson from Lola Creative in Edmonds, WA.

Emily’s business has expanded outside the realm of just floral design, as she and her team specialize in large, custom pieces of unique art, and flowers, often for large events. They’ve been tackling large installations since 2010.

But Emily’s journey has not always been an easy one. Emily was taught to weld and handle particular tools while studying sculpture at the University of Washington. She describes the condescension she endured while trying to learn and grow more familiar with tools:

“For years, on job sites as a project manager, someone would always ask if I was in high school. Every. Single. Time. …among other condescension. It was hard to gain respect as someone who knew what they were doing- and granted, I had (and still do have) TONS to learn. It was hard to be taken seriously and I remember wishing that I looked older and knew more.

My reaction was to try and be tough and I always felt I needed to prove myself. It’s pushed me to want to learn as much as possible, but looking back, I wish I just let it go and asked more questions. I tended to want to look like I had all the answers and then go home and figure it out rather than using those crews and people with lots of experiences for the resources they were.

I guess I overcame by learning to not fear looking like an amateur. Now I know that I mostly don’t know what I’m doing and am okay with that. Maybe 40% know what I’m doing, 60% figuring it out as I go. I know enough to know I can figure it out.”

But she’s come a long way since college. She encouragingly explains:

“Many women are perfectionists and often have a heightened fear of looking like an amateur. If it’s feeling stupid that keeps you from doing something you want to, know that feeling stupid is the precursor to learning and knowledge.

Just because you might feel apprehensive around tools, doesn’t mean it’s not what you should be doing. If you are curious about it, you should probably do it. Power tools are just dumb, loud machines. They’re predictable too.”

We don’t all have to have a college degree in sculpture to learn how better to handle tools. She says anyone can start anywhere.

“You can really learn how to build anything on Youtube”, she stated. “I would suggest looking for a basic project. If you don’t have your own tools, or someone’s garage to rifle through, your city may have a tool library. Tool rental is crazy cheap at a tool library.”

From there, Emily says it’s just a matter of practice.

“Things only get less scary by repeatedly doing it. I remember thinking when I first started driving, ‘how could anyone be okay doing this.’ But through practice you know what noises to expect, how much power each tool has, how much power you need to exert to control each tool, and what the most likely bad thing to happen would be. By practice you learn that the ‘most likely bad thing’ probably isn’t going to happen.”

But let’s be real for a minute here: there’s a reason we sometimes get nervous around a large table saw. I mean, it definitely can cut off an appendage right? Of course the answer there is yes. It can. But Emily has good news for apprehensive women:

“Luckily, I think most women have a heightened sense of self-protection. So we’re more likely to step away from something than just ‘making something work’ with a lack in preparation and safety.

I actually just learned that ladder incidents were the greatest number of on the job deaths in this industry. But in all those deaths, 100% of them were men. So, I think we women are safe. Just kidding.”

Okay, so maybe you’re willing to give something new a try. What tool does Emily recommend starting off with?

“My favorite tool is a little Milwaukee cordless circular saw. I love it because it’s really light and compact. Without the cord, it takes away the worry about where the cord is- and avoiding cutting it. But if you are looking to buy your first tool, I’d recommend a cordless drill. From there, start making holes and attaching things together to start learning how different materials react. I’d also recommend learning how to measure, scale, and draw out ideas before building. It’s the foundation in planning any build.”

(Emily is actually developing an online course right now that will teach this. Watch CuriousLola.com for more information.)

Feeling inspired yet? If not, let us send you off with a few last thoughts from Emily.

I feel like a powerful woman and a large part of that is because I know that anything I dream up, I can build. And I am no master of anything, I can just make stuff go together and have it not fall over.

But it’s important to know I don’t wait for permission anymore. I don’t wait for an opportunity for someone to show me how to do something, I seek it out. I’m not waiting for someone to ask me to participate. My opportunities are self-made.

Tools, construction and even architecture are dominated by men- Having worked in the world of architecture as a woman, I can only imagine what a world of women builders looks like and how that would transform the built environment. I’m curious not only what it would look and feel like, but what those materials and processes would be like. Construction and events can be terribly wasteful if we’re not careful. So many industries can use a shake up- and it’ll come.

I get that we are only doing events, but it starts with girls being told that tools are for them and that changing their environment by construction and building is something they should do.

I love that any kids wandering by our workshop see a roomful of women with tools.

Be sure to check out this video of the Lola Creative team building a 10×26′ foam-free flower wall using moss for infill, metal display grid, and some rigging and truss for its support- it was in a wind tunnel outside… in August.

Follow Emily’s work on Instagram here. Or visit Curiouslola.com or LolaCreative.com.

(All images in today’s post have been provided by Lola Creative.)

YOU COULD BE FEATURED ON THE FLIRTY FLEURS BLOG!

Know someone (you?) who should be featured on our Women With Tools series? Have them email us at info@flirtyfleurs.com, subject line: Women With Tools Applicant.

Tell us who you are, a little about your design work, and your favorite power tool to use. Include at least 2 pictures of recent projects you’ve done that required power tools and tell us a little about each.

via RSSMix.com Mix ID 8134970 http://ift.tt/2Dcnkaj

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #106: Jeanne d’Arc (Alter)

Today on Fate and Phantasms, we’re making the burning dragon witch of France, Jeanne d’Arc (Alter)! Jalter’s pretty good- Fire, more fire, and bullying dragons into serving you- solid kit!

Check out Jalter’s build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Next up: We’re really testing that “All Dogs Go to Heaven” theory, huh?

Race and Background

Like I said with Mash, Homunculus isn’t really a race in D&D, so we’ll have to keep things simple. While you are a magically made copy, you’re a copy of a Human, so we’ll have to stick with that. This gives you +1 to all abilities. Make up the Magic Doppelganger background (or just use Haunted One) for Arcana and Religion proficiencies. You’re made of magic, and you have to know about God in order to spit in His face. 

Ability Scores

If that custom background wasn’t weird enough, we’re also using the Point Buy system for this build, because we need a lot of stuff right away. You were made by an evil wizard, so a little bit of minmaxing is probably fine. Unfortunately, we have to keep Intelligence at 8- I’d like to make it higher, but we need the points for other abilities. You don’t really go on a self-improvement kick until you’re a berserker anyway. After that, set Dexterity and Wisdom to 12- they’re needed for multiclassing. You can fight (and presumably dance) in a dress, and you can still pick people out in your Grondement du Haine, so they can’t be that bad. Set Constitution to 13 for some toughness-you’re a frontline fighter, and your Avenger class makes absorbing peoples’ hatred (read: their attacks) a bit easier. That leaves us just enough points to bring your Strength and Charisma up to 14. You have one of the highest attack stats in the game, and you’re damn scary when you want to be-and you always want to be scary.

Class Levels

1. Barbarian 1: Avengers are good at hitting things and taking hits, and so are barbarians! When you pick up the class, you get proficiency in Strength and Constitution saves, as well as two barbarian skills- Intimidation and Athletics. You’re strong and scary. (Pretty sure we said that already.)

Either way, barbarians can Rage as a bonus action, gaining extra attack damage, advantage on strength saves and checks, and resistance to the physical attack types. In exchange you can’t cast or concentrate on spells, and it ends early if you don’t attack or get attacked by something in a round.

You also get Unarmored Defense, giving you an AC based on your dexterity and constitution. I’d highly recommend not using that because yours is pretty bad, but it’s available if you really need to fight in a ballgown. Sometimes showing up the Ice Bitch Queen is worth the pain.

2. Sorcerer 1: A Jalter just wouldn’t be a Jalter without plenty of fire and draconic imagery, and that’s why you’re a Draconic Bloodline sorcerer. A black dragon would be more on brand, but we have to go with a Red Dragon Ancestor for the fire damage. This also lets you read and write draconic, and more importantly, your proficiency bonus is doubled for charisma checks against dragons. You may not have magical control over them yet, but you can probably keep the younger ones in line already.

Your Draconic Resilience gives you an extra hp per sorcerer level, as well as an AC of 13 + your dexterity modifier. That’s still not great, but it’s much better than what you had going before.

Finally, sorcerers can cast Spells using their Charisma as the casting ability. Control Flames, Green-Flame Blade, and Burning Hands should give you more than enough fire to start with. Friends will make it even easier to control dragons, while False Life will give you just a touch of healing. NP bars don’t exist in this game, so we had to represent your Self-Restoration somehow.

3. Barbarian 2: Hitting things with sticks powers up a lot faster though, so let’s stick with that for now. Second level barbarians can make Reckless Attacks, giving themselves advantage, but also giving enemies advantage against them. Your Danger Sense also gives you advantage on dexterity saves you can see coming. You don’t really care where your spells hit-this will help keep you out of your own fireballs.

4. Barbarian 3: You might have figured out where this was going with all that fire talk, but your subclass here’s the Storm Herald! When you rage (and as a bonus action each turn afterwards), you can use your Storm Aura to deal extra damage to enemies. The desert aura deals a bit of fire damage to all creatures within range save free! A perfect option for those fidgety monks and archers. You also gain Primal Knowledge, giving you proficiency in Animal Handling. I mean, for a given definition of “Animal”, I guess that works.

5. Ranger 1: You didn’t think we were done making this build weird, were you? I promise this will make more sense in a bit. For now though, you get Perception proficiency, as well as the ability to mark a Favored Foe with your bonus action. For a minute afterwards (or as long as you keep up concentration) you can add an extra 1d4 damage to any damage done to it once per turn. Also, while it does use your concentration, it technically isn’t a spell, so maybe it works with rage? (I’d rule it does, but I’m not your DM.)

A less complicated feature you get is Deft Explorer, specifically the Canny feature, which doubles your proficiency bonus in a single skill. Power up your Intimidation to become even scarier to everyone, but especially dragons. A +14 to intimidate means you can really turn heads, even at level 5.

6. Barbarian 4: We’re about to jump back into sorcerer now, but it might be a good idea to be skilled at casting spells before we do that. Use your Ability Score Improvement to nab the War Caster feat for advantage on concentration saves, the ability to cast cantrips as opportunity attacks, and most importantly, the ability to cast spells with full hands. Now you can upgrade to a proper flagpole pike!

7. Sorcerer 2: It’s been a while, but now that we’re back you’ve become a Font of Magic, giving you Sorcery Points that you can spend on metamagic (later) or more spell slots (right now). You also get another first level spell. Shield’s useful at least, but we’ll get something more “you” at a later level.

8. Sorcerer 3: Now that you’re level three, you get that Metamagic thing we just talked about. Casting an Empowered Spell will let you re-roll damage dice to make sure everything hurts as much as possible, while a Heightened Spell will make it harder for a target to resist. Trust me, you do not want a dragon breaking out of Charm Monster.

Speaking of spells, you get second level ones now, like Dragon’s Breath, which will let you turn anything you want into a smaller, less cool dragon. Other flavors are available, but why would you not pick fire breath?

9. Ranger 2: Bouncing around even more, you get a Fighting Style. Rangers don’t get any styles for big weapons, so we’re just grabbing Defense for an extra point of AC while wearing armor. You can go without, but you have a look to maintain, you know? 

You also get another set of Spells that use Wisdom to cast. Your wisdom isn’t that powerful, but luckily Searing Smite and Absorb Elements don’t use it, so you’re set! I guess good things really do happen to bad people!

10. Sorcerer 4: We’ve had way too many odd numbers for way too long, it’s time we did something about it. Use this ASI to round up your Strength and Charisma for stronger hits and stronger spells.

You also get even more spells- Blade Ward gives you some defense without having to rage, and Aganazzar’s Scorcher got you covered on the offensive side. There’s a bit of a theme here, if you haven’t noticed.

11. Barbarian 5: It took us a while, but you finally get an Extra Attack for each attack action. You also get Fast Movement, adding 10 feet to your walking movement. It’s about time you got a little violent.

12. Barbarian 6: Our last level of barbarian unleashes your Storm Soul. The desert soul gives you resistance to fire damage, and you can also ignore extreme heat, which is super useful given how much black you wear. You can also set objects on fire by touching them.

13. Ranger 3: Now that we’re finally getting to this subclass, it’s time we justified this multiclass. You get Primeval Awareness to help you track down and “convince” dragons to help you, but if your DM is really uncooperative, you can also summon a dragon thanks to your subclass. (We know, we went ranger to make a build less situational. We think we just saw hell freeze over. 

Surprisingly, there are still subclasses left in UA after Tasha’s blew through. The Drakewarden lets you cast Thaumaturgy thanks to your Draconic Gift. You can also summon a Drake Companion as an action once per long rest (or by spending a spell slot) You have to use your bonus action to command it, but it can always use its reaction to infuse weapon attacks with its element of choice. (Do I even have to say we’re picking fire?)

You also learn Entangle this level. Your Grondement du Haine leaves a lot of spears all over the place-it’d be pretty hard to pick your way through those.

14. Sorcerer 5: Fifth level sorcerers get third level spells, but they also get Magical Guidance, letting you spend 1 sorcery point to re-roll a failed ability check. I’d save those for something you’re really good at, like intimidation.

You also learn Erupting Earth at this level, in case you wanted to actually do damage with your noble phantasm. Sadly your spears are a bit dull, but bludgeoning damage is still better than no damage at all.

15. Sorcerer 6: Sixth level dragon sorcerers get an Elemental Affinity, adding their charisma to fire spells. You can also spend sorcery points to resist fire damage, but you’re already good on that front.

Speaking of things that aren’t really needed, you can cast Fear this level. You already have Expertise/Super Expertise in intimidation, but sometimes you just need magic.

16. Sorcerer 7: Seventh level sorcerers can cast 4th level spells, and you can finally cast Charm Monster to take control of a dragon of a dragon for up to an hour. We can also finally replace Shield with Wall of Fire to really set the scene for your dramatic confrontation with that goody-two-shoes you share a face with.

17. Ranger 4: Use your last ASI (they go by so fast, don’t they?) to become an Elemental Adept in fire. This means every die you roll for fire damage will always count as at least a 2. Also, your spells now ignore fire resistance! Just your spells though, your rage is out of luck.

18. Ranger 5: Your Extra Attack doesn’t do anything this level, but you do learn how to cast Spike Growth, for those times you want to sit back and let your enemies throw themselves on your spears.

19. Ranger 6: Your Favored Foe bumps up to a d6, and you become Roving! This adds 5 feet to your movement, and you can climb or swim at the same speed. Now nothing will be able to escape your wrath!

20. Ranger 7: Your capstone ability gives you a Bond of Fang and Scale, allowing your drake to fly and deal more damage with its bite. You also gain resistance to whatever damage type your drake deals, which can help your survivability against themed enemies (like you).

You can also cast Lesser Restoration this level. Memory correction is a little vague-status correction is a bit easier to implement.

Pros:

You’re good at burning things, and yes we count people in there. You can deal a lot of fire damage through rages, dragons, and spells. You also have multiple ways to make that fire even more dangerous, and can spread it at a touch. Great for property damage!

It can be pretty hard to escape you, thanks to your buffed movement speed and the ability to swim and climb faster than most people. Worst comes to worst, you also have a dragon you can sicc on people.

You’re pretty terrifying, especially towards dragons. Beyond having direct control over them, you can also intimidate them with advantage, a third die from sorcery, and a +27 to the roll. Barring an act of god, you can probably get most dragons to stand down, if not obey you outright.

Cons:

You have some power in your corner, but it’s all focused on fire, one of the most immune-to damage types in the game. When it’s good it’s great, but when it’s bad it’s awful. At least you can swap out your dragon damage each summon if you really need to.

Speaking of, your drake’s pretty weak, with only 40 HP at level 20. It’s probably best for you to think of it as a limited use feature than a companion, because it is absolutely not sticking around.

Really there’s a lot of multiclassing problems to go over here. Beyond the classic “spells and raging” thing, there’s also a severe lack of ASIs, several overlapping abilities, both your rage and drake using up all your bonus actions, and an overall lack of focus. You might not be great at doing any one thing, but nobody will have the nerve to criticize you.

[katiedodgshun81]

Women with Tools: Featuring Emily Anderson

by Rachel Evans Heath

As floral designers we have all sorts of tools, floral or otherwise, in our aprons, workshops, or toolboxes. We know how to handle a sharp knife, wire cutters, or even a staple gun. We use all these tools regularly.

But what about power tools?

With a large majority of designers being women, the pattern, it seems, is that we know how to quickly steam an aisle runner, but are less comfortable with the bigger electric tools: power drills, table saws, and hammer guns, to name a few.

Did you know that most power tools are often made larger, louder, and heavier than necessary? Some dangerous tools need to be loud to warn those around them to be on guard and not get too close. However, a lot of the unnecessary bulk is kept, to better cater to their male customers. Men liking power tools is the cliché we all hear, fed by such characters as Tim “the tool man” Taylor from Home Improvement, or the burly men illustrated into our children’s books or animated shows, holding a crazed and uncontrollable jack hammer.

But with a recent realization of just how far a designer’s work could expand when incorporating power tools, it has become our mission at Flirty Fleurs to help inspire our female readers to expand their designs via the world of power tools. And to help show us the way, we will be featuring one designer a month from whom we might take inspiration: inspiration from their work, their zeal and their incorporation of power tools.

So starting us off is the woman who inspired this series: Introducing Emily Anderson from Lola Creative in Edmonds, WA.

Emily’s business has expanded outside the realm of just floral design, as she and her team specialize in large, custom pieces of unique art, and flowers, often for large events. They’ve been tackling large installations since 2010.

But Emily’s journey has not always been an easy one. Emily was taught to weld and handle particular tools while studying sculpture at the University of Washington. She describes the condescension she endured while trying to learn and grow more familiar with tools:

“For years, on job sites as a project manager, someone would always ask if I was in high school. Every. Single. Time. …among other condescension. It was hard to gain respect as someone who knew what they were doing- and granted, I had (and still do have) TONS to learn. It was hard to be taken seriously and I remember wishing that I looked older and knew more.

My reaction was to try and be tough and I always felt I needed to prove myself. It’s pushed me to want to learn as much as possible, but looking back, I wish I just let it go and asked more questions. I tended to want to look like I had all the answers and then go home and figure it out rather than using those crews and people with lots of experiences for the resources they were.

I guess I overcame by learning to not fear looking like an amateur. Now I know that I mostly don’t know what I’m doing and am okay with that. Maybe 40% know what I’m doing, 60% figuring it out as I go. I know enough to know I can figure it out.”

But she’s come a long way since college. She encouragingly explains:

“Many women are perfectionists and often have a heightened fear of looking like an amateur. If it’s feeling stupid that keeps you from doing something you want to, know that feeling stupid is the precursor to learning and knowledge.

Just because you might feel apprehensive around tools, doesn’t mean it’s not what you should be doing. If you are curious about it, you should probably do it. Power tools are just dumb, loud machines. They’re predictable too.”

We don’t all have to have a college degree in sculpture to learn how better to handle tools. She says anyone can start anywhere.

“You can really learn how to build anything on Youtube”, she stated. “I would suggest looking for a basic project. If you don’t have your own tools, or someone’s garage to rifle through, your city may have a tool library. Tool rental is crazy cheap at a tool library.”

From there, Emily says it’s just a matter of practice.

“Things only get less scary by repeatedly doing it. I remember thinking when I first started driving, ‘how could anyone be okay doing this.’ But through practice you know what noises to expect, how much power each tool has, how much power you need to exert to control each tool, and what the most likely bad thing to happen would be. By practice you learn that the ‘most likely bad thing’ probably isn’t going to happen.”

But let’s be real for a minute here: there’s a reason we sometimes get nervous around a large table saw. I mean, it definitely can cut off an appendage right? Of course the answer there is yes. It can. But Emily has good news for apprehensive women:

“Luckily, I think most women have a heightened sense of self-protection. So we’re more likely to step away from something than just ‘making something work’ with a lack in preparation and safety.

I actually just learned that ladder incidents were the greatest number of on the job deaths in this industry. But in all those deaths, 100% of them were men. So, I think we women are safe. Just kidding.”

Okay, so maybe you’re willing to give something new a try. What tool does Emily recommend starting off with?

“My favorite tool is a little Milwaukee cordless circular saw. I love it because it’s really light and compact. Without the cord, it takes away the worry about where the cord is- and avoiding cutting it. But if you are looking to buy your first tool, I’d recommend a cordless drill. From there, start making holes and attaching things together to start learning how different materials react. I’d also recommend learning how to measure, scale, and draw out ideas before building. It’s the foundation in planning any build.”

(Emily is actually developing an online course right now that will teach this. Watch CuriousLola.com for more information.)

Feeling inspired yet? If not, let us send you off with a few last thoughts from Emily.

I feel like a powerful woman and a large part of that is because I know that anything I dream up, I can build. And I am no master of anything, I can just make stuff go together and have it not fall over.

But it’s important to know I don’t wait for permission anymore. I don’t wait for an opportunity for someone to show me how to do something, I seek it out. I’m not waiting for someone to ask me to participate. My opportunities are self-made.

Tools, construction and even architecture are dominated by men- Having worked in the world of architecture as a woman, I can only imagine what a world of women builders looks like and how that would transform the built environment. I’m curious not only what it would look and feel like, but what those materials and processes would be like. Construction and events can be terribly wasteful if we’re not careful. So many industries can use a shake up- and it’ll come.

I get that we are only doing events, but it starts with girls being told that tools are for them and that changing their environment by construction and building is something they should do.

I love that any kids wandering by our workshop see a roomful of women with tools.

Be sure to check out this video of the Lola Creative team building a 10×26′ foam-free flower wall using moss for infill, metal display grid, and some rigging and truss for its support- it was in a wind tunnel outside… in August.

Follow Emily’s work on Instagram here. Or visit Curiouslola.com or LolaCreative.com.

(All images in today’s post have been provided by Lola Creative.)

YOU COULD BE FEATURED ON THE FLIRTY FLEURS BLOG!

Know someone (you?) who should be featured on our Women With Tools series? Have them email us at info@flirtyfleurs.com, subject line: Women With Tools Applicant.

Tell us who you are, a little about your design work, and your favorite power tool to use. Include at least 2 pictures of recent projects you’ve done that required power tools and tell us a little about each.

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