#its really fun! and works well for someone like me who loves their sketchy lines

[bmpmp3]

intaglio prints i did of my oc Dave for a class assignment like a year ago! a bit about Dave's feelings being a friendly but eternal, undying, and interdimensional sort of guy. being a little outside of the rest of the world's phase of reality, wanting to connect but knowing it can never last etc etc. was very fun!

[hualianff]

Mi Amor(tentia) II 《I》

Every Sunday, XL personally delivers the ingredients to HC to restock after each week. Sometimes it’s during the morning before classes, HC inviting XL to stay and chat over coffee.

Other times, it’s in the middle of HC’s classes because XL’s only has so many chunks of free time to drop the ingredients off. XL usually keeps himself scarce as he helps himself to deposit the ingredients off on HC’s desk in his office.

On days XL is especially busy with classes, meetings with outside personnel and tending to the school’s greenhouse, his sixth-year teaching assistant, BY, will deliver ingredients to HC.

HC is easily the person XL enjoys spending time with the most. They have such fun conversations and HC makes XL feel so comfortable and listened to. Plus, HC is undeniably charming and handsome. XL thanks whatever higher power there is that someone as refined as HC took XL under his wing.

XL has learned and observed that HC is a professor that students either love or hate. Some perceive the potions professor as sketchy-looking and unfair in his grading. They take HC’s pushing as ridiculing, then complain about their poor marks after refusing to do the bare minimum of the assignment.

(Unbeknownst to HC, XL has taken it upon himself to passive aggressively warn these students from bad-mouthing HC in the hallways.)

Understandably, The first year students absolutely cower in HC’s presence. But from fourth year and up, HC is one of the most loved professors. When HC begins to passionately lecture with really big hand gestures and funny word combinations, the students can’t help but admire him with starry eyes.

(Student: “Hua Lao Shi, I don’t think ‘impossibleness’ is a word.”

HC: “It is now. As I was saying, don’t let the impossibleness of a goal influence your confidence in working towards it. You should not pay attention to whether something is possible or not, but rather focus on what steps you’re taking to find your answer.)

He’s clearly smart; intellectually based from the readings he assigns students from his own books; socially as his humor is always on point and he never misses a beat to tease his students; and emotionally because HC does not tolerate bullying in his house or his classroom. (Nor in the school, if he can help it.)

HC himself was bullied back in the muggle orphanage and during his time at Hogwarts. He knows what it feels like to wake up dreading going to classes and interacting with people who had nothing better to do than put others down. 

So while HC can seem intimidating and blunt at first, he genuinely has his students’ best interests and wellbeing in mind. Witnessing how seriously HC takes his job as a teacher and trusted adult figure, XL’s feelings wrap around him like vines and squeeze him in their hold anytime he’s around HC.

XL’s never had a crush like this before.

Later in the semester, XL and HC are chosen as the professors to monitor the first years on their first trip to Hogsmeade. There is no doubt the transfiguration professor, SQX, took part in pulling some strings to make this happen for XL.

What no one knows is that the defense against the dark arts professor also played matchmaker. In an intense game of wizard's chest that unfortunately ended in his defeat, HX was forced to nominate HC to go with XL. 

HC and XL make the best guides. XL is very enthusiastic in answering first years’ questions while HC is good at describing things through muggle terminology.

During his years at Hogwarts, XL has always loved the Hogsmeade trips and bought new candies from Honeydukes each time. In fact, he has a huge sweet tooth that he can never satisfy. Cue XL showing the students around Honeydukes and HC buying all of XL’s favorite goodies in the background.

When it’s time to move on to the next store, HC presents the bagged sweets to XL with a smile.

(XL, staring at the bagged sweets: “San Lang! You shouldn’t have!”

HC, grabbing XL’s hand and physically transferring the bag: “Nonsense. Gege deserves a reward for working so hard lately. Giving him a few candies is the least I can do.”

XL, clutching the bag tightly, fingers tingling from brushing against HC’s own: “If you insist. Many thanks, San Lang.” 

XL snacks on some sweets for the rest of the trip. HC watches with a pleased eye.)

One day during finals week before winter break, XL falls ill with a terrible migraine. He’s been prone to migraines for a while now, which he’s used to enduring with medicine tablets that don’t do much to ease the pain. 

XL manages to get through his morning classes. But by lunch time, his stomach pain worsened tenfold to which HC, who planned on having lunch with XL, convinced the herbology professor to take the rest of the day off. 

“But my classes-” XL’s voice breaks off as he winces as another wave of nausea sweeps through his body. HC puts a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

“I will fill in for you,” HC assures. XL looks like he’s about to protest, however, the potions professor holds a finger up to his lips. “I can quickly brew something up for your pain. You like the smell of eucalyptus, right? I can add a faint scent to soothe your sinuses too.”

“San Lang…”

HC fixes XL with a pointed stare. XL’s face softens, eyes closing in defeat.

“Thank you,” he says gratefully. Without thinking, HC reaches over to cup XL’s cheek, sliding back to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear before massaging his temple. 

“It’s not a problem. Gege needs rest.”

Luckily, HC doesn’t have afternoon classes lined up for the afternoon. Once XL has retired to his room to relax, HC settles behind XL’s desk as students filter in for class to take the final exam.

(Students who had potions that morning entering the herbology room: “Oh shit-”)

Between classes, HC completes the tasks written in XL’s planner he left during lunch. Unfortunately, HC has a certain TA who sidles up next to him out of nowhere, whispering inconspicuously, “I know you have the hots for Xie Lao Shi.”

HC, who had been marking scrolls, jolts in shock. His left hand streaks across the parchment, leaving a red trail in its wake. 

(Student who receives his scroll with a huge red line: “The fuck???? Does this mean it’s wrong? Do I need to do it again?”)

HC ignores BY as he continues about his business. Except BY rolls a chair right beside the desk, her prying eyes making HC feel like he needs to cover more than just his right eye.

“Tell me everything.”

“There’s nothing to tell.”

“Liar.”

“Watch how you speak to your professor, young lady-”

“Watch how you speak to your professor, young lady,” BY repeats in a nasally voice. HC tightly clenches the pen in his hand. BY, unfazed about testing HC’s patience, sighs pitifully. “Sorry, Hua Lao Shi. I swear, I’m only trying to help.”

“Help with what?” HC asks, attempting to remain oblivious. BY gives HC a deadpan. “Ok, fine. How could you possibly help?”

“Well, I heard that Xie Lao Shi might be crushing on another professor-” HC chokes on his spit. “-and maybe you two…”

BY taps the tips of her pointer fingers together. 

“What!?” HC aggressively clears his throat. The scrolls are long forgotten now. “H-how do you know?”

“He told me,” BY reveals, smirking like the devil’s child.

“Who is it? Tell me more,” HC demands.

“Ah ah ah–you first.”

HC can’t believe this girl who has him cornered is the same timid third-year transfer student who couldn’t even look him in the eye. He bites his tongue, reluctant to discuss his person of interest with a seventeen-year-old. BY just sits there, looking unbothered as she examines her nails while waiting for HC to cave.

It doesn’t take more than ten minutes before HC admits it. 

“Fine. Yes, I like Xie Lao Shi.”

“What do you like about him?” BY asks immediately. HC itches to take points from Hufflepuff; what is this, an interrogation?

To no one’s surprise, HC spends the next half hour praising XL’s selling points (which are all of them) and subtly hinting how plans to ask the herbology professor out soon. BY unhelpfully inputs that HC needs to confess his feelings first. 

“And then he needs to accept your feelings too,” she adds, much to HC’s irritation. 

“I thought you were helping me?”

“I am,” BY smiles innocently. “By listening.”

“You’re not going to tell me who…?” HC falls silent, glaring at the last scroll he finished grading. A glance at his watch indicates there are fifteen minutes left before the final class of the day begins.

“Of course not. I don’t go around spilling professors’ secrets, especially Xie Lao Shi’s,” BY says. HC nods in resignation. 

BY doesn’t tell HC shit in the end, yet somehow made him unload a few things about his feelings regarding XL. HC supposes she was right about the listening part. 

Must be some sort of witchcraft. (HC tells himself that XL definitely would’ve laughed at this thought.)

Strangely, HC feels better after this little confessional session. Though he is incredibly curious as to who has caught XL’s eye in this school. HC’s heart painfully twists in on itself at the possibility that it’s anyone but him. 

HC desperately hopes BY’s rule about not sharing secrets applies to him as well. 

《III》

[whentheynameyoujoy]

So the ATLA Movie Is... Good, Actually?

Just kidding, of course it’s not, it’s so bad it sucked the paint off my walls. But after ten years of people pointing out its glaring flaws, why would anyone bother talking about this garbage heap if not to go the other direction? So here’s a very brief and very superficial list of things the movie does get kinda... not atrociously wrong.

And they won’t be fake hipster pokes, like “It’s fun to laugh at”, “The Rifftrax for this is OK”, or “Kudos to the actress for managing to say we believe in our beliefs as much as they believe in theirs with a straight face”.

(though now that I mentioned it, it is fun to laugh at, the Rifftrax for this is OK, and massive props indeed.)

Rasta Iroh

Yes, I know it’s not exactly the aesthetic of the real Iroh or that it makes no cultural sense for him to sport this do when no one else in the racebended Indian “OMFG what were you thinking Shyamalan” Nation does but goddamn, long-haired dudes are my one mortal weakness and I will ogle the hell out of him.

Jesus is that a man bun I see that’s it mum I’ve been deaded

Yue’s hair

No.

Now we’re talking. Yue’s hair turned white when the Moon spirit gave her life, so it makes sense for it to go black again when she sacrifices herself to revive the koi fish. It’s a neat detail I find myself expecting whenever I rewatch the scene in the show. Yes, I realize it’d be a pointless hassle to animate since she, unlike in the movie, immediately goes on to become the Moon herself but still. I like.

The Blue Spirit’s mop

Zuko, hun, what’s with the dance-off?

First of all, I want to imagine that Zuko the Theatre Nerd was about to leave his ship with just the mask like in the show but then stuck his head into the cleaning cupboard and went, “Yeah, more coverage might be good, even though it do seem mighty fried to shit”.

Which makes me giggle. I like to giggle.

And secondly, the hair’s movement is what makes the static mess of the Blue Spirit’s solo fight scene appear at least bit more dynamic because God knows the cinematography isn’t doing it.

Any particular reason why it’s at the edge of the action, shot all boring-like?

Now, I get why circular shots would be reserved for Aang while he’s in the practice area and then used once the two join forces. What I don’t get is why Aang’s part of the action scene has a defined visual style while Zuko’s delegated to a few stationary wide shots from afar as though he’s a tertiary goon, meaning that when the time comes to combine the respective pieces of cinema language and visually convey collaboration, there’s not really much to combine.

But as long as Zuko is stuck in this static mess, it’s that awesome disaster on his head flopping about that draws the eye, helping me understand that something even is going on over there.

It also prevents me from paying much attention to how the extras are mostly just staying put and a lot of the hits don’t land, so that’s good.

The music slaps

James Newton Howard is too good for this.

Pls ignore that the word “gods” is used in the ATLA universe

I can’t be the only one who constantly uses this piece to daydream about writing specific fanfic scenes instead of, you know, actually sitting down and writing them. It’s just so good at communicating a sense of sorrow while speaking of rebirth that I find myself getting misty-eyed whenever I listen to it. Unfailingly, the soundtrack as a whole manages to break through the mile-thick crust of horrible acting, confusing writing, and uninspired cinematography and make me feel things. And considering how everything on screen is working against it, that’s no small feat.

Imagine what a powerful experience it would be if the score was used in service of an actual movie.

Dev Patel

No wonder since he’s the only one in the film occupying that crucial intersection between “is a good actor” and “was given something to work with”. It also doesn’t hurt that he breaks with the trend of actors starring in martial arts flicks despite never having done any martial art.

And all EIP-jokes about “stiff and humorless” aside, he’s a pretty decent Zuko considering how abridged this version of the character is. A while ago, I remember hearing a reviewer say that with his comedic chops, Patel should have been cast as Sokka. And on one hand, yes, god, absolutely, I need to see that asap. But on the other? He captures all layers of Book 1!Zuko, the desperate obsession, rage, and self-loathing, and at the same time gives you a peek at the soft momma’s boy dork that’s buried underneath. For Christ sakes, he exudes intensity and ambivalence even when acting against an emotionless hunk of wood that’s giving him nothing in return.

Oh, and I guess there’s a tree in the frame.

Ba dum tss

What can I say, the guy’s good.

Showing vs telling

OK, so this movie is all tell and no show, except for one single moment. And it’s the exact moment where the original goes in the other direction in terms of how information is conveyed.

See, I never liked this. The revelation is preceded by Iroh giving advice to Zuko who scolds him for nagging. Iroh then apologizes, moves in to say the line above, and is interrupted by Zuko who seems rather uncomfortable with Iroh laying his feelings out like this. And once they’re out, Zuko verbally confirms that he knew already and Iroh didn’t need to bother.

All this extraneous information and pussyfooting ends up weakening what should be a profound scene that reveals to us, the viewers, how deep the relationship between these two in fact runs.

Compare to the movie where Dadroh acts like a parent by fussing and worrying, with Sonion needing a single look to tell him and us that he understands what it’s all really about.

It’s genuinely efficient and just good.

No Cataang

Fine, a bit mean-girl bitchy from me since I only start minding the ship in Book 3. And probably unintentional on the part of the creators since there are moments where I think they’re trying to set the romance up? There’s a, well, an attempt to recreate the famous introductory shot of fateful meaningful destiny of meaningness, there’s some slight note of saving each other’s bacon going on, I’m pretty sure they’re the only ones in the film who smile, and oh, right, Katara’s shoved into her post-canon useless role where she doesn’t ever do anything, and is all about Aang right from the get go.

Yes, I will blame the “executive producers” because a) I’m incredibly petty, and b) it’s perfectly in line with their vision of the character so why the hell not.

Hilariously, none of it reads on screen because the actors are just... yeah. These poor kids are struggling so much with delivering their own lines and portraying their own characters they don’t seem to have any strength left to create something between them. To be fair, the bare-bones shot-reverse shot style of their scenes doesn’t exactly lend itself to the idea they occupy the same universe, let alone are friends or each other’s crushes.

And I enjoy this immensely because it allows me to forget the depressing horror show Katara’s life turns into post ATLA.

Yes Zutara

I need to delve into this because it’s fucking hilarious. So in a movie which fails to establish the original’s central romance so spectacularly that if Aang got lost in a crowd I don’t believe Katara would notice, SomEOnE thought it’d be a good idea to add an utterly unnecessary non-canon moment where Zuko for some reason feels the need to pause his character-defining hunt for the Avatar which otherwise has him ignore everything and snap at everyone, and explain his central conflict to an unconscious peasant he doesn’t know, complete with gently pushing the hair from the pretty girl’s the soulmate’s the Water Tribe Ambassador’s the Fire Lady’s the love of his life’s her face away, AFTER his uncle nagged him twice to find a girl and settle down.

I just wanted to make sure we’re all on the same page and this is what we really saw.

Celibate Avatars

I have no idea why the decision was made, if TPTB thought expecting viewers to understand the story through the lens of Buddhism would be too much, or if the “executive producers” already worked their retconny magic. What I do know, however, is that there’s a big shift in worldbuilding and Aang’s struggle with his role as the Avatar stops being a personal conflict defined by a) his grief for Air Nomads, b) his notion of being robbed of the loved ones in his life, and c) the selfish attachment to Katara he confuses with true love. Instead, what he has a difficulty to accept is apparently a general notion of who Avatars are supposed to be, i.e. a fantasy version of Catholic monks, no family and worldly relations, period.

I guess either someone understood the original’s portrayal of de/attachment as “hermit no freaky”, or thought the audience would so why not go there outright.

Now, do I like this on its own? No, God no, it makes the world infinitely poorer and changes the story from an exploration of ideas which aren’t all that ingrained in the West, to a cliché tropester about a Catholic priest going Protestant so that he could be with a girl.

At least I assume that’s where they were going to take this eventually.

I mean, I think the direction was “look conflicted, this isn’t the final stage of your journey”?

But consider this—the show went there, it built on the concepts of Eastern philosophy and touched upon the ideas of spiritual awakening, only to swerve in the end and strongly imply they’re bullshit and Aang should have never wasted his time with them.

So honestly, I much prefer scanty worldbuilding to an insulting retcon by a damn rock.

Multiracial Air Nomads

Probably the most substantial “no hint of irony” point on this list and a genuinely good addition to the universe’s worldbuilding.

See, the notion of the elemental nations being perfectly separate and never mingling before Sozin has always been sketchy but it’s especially ridiculous in the case of airbenders. It never made sense to me for all airbenders to be Air Nomads and for all Air Nomads to be monks and for all monks to be chilling at the temples all the time to facilitate a quick everyone-dies genocide should an imperialistic warlord ever decide to commit one.

Because committing everyone to a single way of life at a handful of places kinda goes against the central philosophy behind airbending. Like the freedom and nomadism part.

Instead, there should be more variety to the airbending culture, with some staying at the temples as monks, hermits, and teachers while others live as nomads, travelling the world and creating more airbenders, with the resulting children in turn being influenced by the non-airbending cultures they grew up in.

And thus, not only should airbenders not be modeled after a single culture to create a one-size-fits-all lifestyle, but they should have the most diverse and dynamic culture out of the four nations.

And it’d be precisely this diversity which would pave way for an eventual reveal that some of them survived, that their complete extermination is impossible.

Because they’re everywhere.

You know.

Like air.

[saeran-imagines]

Did you see the birthday chats from 2019? Specifically the one where Saeran (as "Unknown") invites you to come eat ice cream and watch Netflix with him? Since Saeran's birthday is coming up again, could you write what if MC had taken him up on his offer and gone to meet him? (Jindere has a video of the chats on youtube if you haven't seen it/want a refresher!) I'm obsessed with the idea of this happening and I love your writing so I'd love to read this from you 🥰

Heya! I remember those birthday chats omg, I just had to buy the picture that went along with them when it became available! That and the 707 version are just so pretty, I had them as my desktop background for a good while 🥰

I made this longer than I meant omg! I wanted to get it done in time for his birthday, which, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAERAN !! (and seven too but this blog ain’t about you ❤) I have a bias for the soft Saerans so I didn’t think I’d like writing for Unknown as much as I did, but I had a lot of fun with this 😊 I hope you all like it!

You fiddle with your phone, the broken looking chat room open to “Unknown’s” messages. That hacker… what kind of person is he? There’s no doubt he’s up to no good, but he’s never done anything that would put you in danger. Quite the opposite, actually. You have a feeling he’d rush to your rescue if you found yourself in a bad situation. “It’s my birthday today. Meet me outside the building at 8 and I’ll show you a great time.” Coming from anyone else it’d sound creepy as hell, it should sound creepy as hell, he’s a complete stranger who hacked your phone, but… the feeling of dread you imagine would come before getting axe murdered just isn’t there. And more than that, there’s something in the way he typed, in the long pauses between messages that seemed… lonely. You look at the clock- 7:50. Taking a deep breath, you force yourself up, pull on a coat, and take the elevator down to the first floor. You wouldn’t be able to stand not knowing what might have happened if you didn’t go meet this mystery person. And hey, it could very well be a great time.

You take up a position right outside the building and look around- nobody seems to be here yet. The sun has started its trek downwards, the shadow on the building long enough to reach the other side of the road. It’s a little late to be out. What does he have planned? You take another deep breath and try to relax, worrying won’t do you any good. You check your phone- 7:53. Has it really only been 3 minutes? It feels like you’ve been waiting here for hours. Footsteps followed by a figure rounding the corner next to you cause you to perk up, but another person follows shortly after and you quickly look back down again, dejected. The couple shoots you a suspicious glance, keeping enough distance from you that they end up walking on the road as they pass you on the sidewalk. You must look strange, you realize, fiddling with your thumbs and glancing back and forth in the dark shadow of a building. You sigh, this is a little ridiculous. Just as you’re considering going back inside and forgetting about this whole evening, you feel a tap on your shoulder. 

“Hey, doll,” a smooth low voice sounds from where your shoulder was tapped, and you whip around to see the source. “You actually came.” You notice his eyes first, a striking minty blue that almost glows in the dim light. Then you notice his white suit that matches perfectly with his hair, pink accents and all. Aren’t hackers supposed to be subtle? The only things about him that match your mental stereotype are the dark circles under his eyes and the mask covering the lower half of his face. Neither detract from his allure, though. He looks like you could find him on the cover of a fashion magazine. He chuckles at your stunned silence. “What, liking what you see?” 

“Ah! Uh-” you stutter out. “You just… weren’t what I was expecting.” You can’t see his mouth under the mask, but you know he’s smirking anyways.

“Oh?” he teases. “And what did you expect?” You try your best to regain your composure. This isn’t the time to be making googly eyes at strangers. God, it’s been way too long since you’ve interacted with someone. You haven’t had the chance to after temporarily moving into that apartment. 

“I don’t know, some weirdo in a ski mask?” you joke, making him chuckle again. You feel yourself starting to relax. He seems like a kind enough person, despite the teasing, and talking to him is comfortable. This night might turn out better than you expected. “So, what are we doing tonight?” 

“Well, I hope you like ice cream. My favorite parlor stays open late, I figured I deserve a birthday treat. You know, since I’ve been such a good boy recently,” he laughs. It’s a giddier laugh than you expected from him, he must have been looking forward to this for a while. He holds out his hand for you to take. “Shall we?” You pause, looking down at his gloved hand. You can feel that this is the last chance you have to change your mind, to take the elevator back up to the apartment and forget about this interaction. Taking hold of his hand would form a contract that binds you to his side for the rest of the night. After a moment of deliberating you grasp his hand, perhaps a bit too tight. You’ve already gotten this far, your curiosity won’t let the night end until you learn more about this strange man. You flash him the most convincing smile you can muster.

“Let’s go.” He weaves you through the city, taking more than a few sketchy shortcuts through alleyways and unexpected detours. He must have to be careful to avoid detection in his line of work, he’s walking as if he’s trying to confuse anyone who might be tracking him. He makes some small talk along the way, prying you for your thoughts about various RFA members and asking you about your life outside the messenger. You learn that he has a bit of a soft spot for Jumin, seeming to appreciate his cold honesty and business oriented mindset. From the short walk you’ve had with this stranger he seems to be the type to prefer fun over work, but you suppose you’ve only seen one side of him. So far, that is. 

You arrive at your destination after around 20 minutes of walking. It’s a small sweets shop painted white and baby blue. A chalkboard sign shows the flavors of the day through the window, around half crossed out due to the business day nearing its end. You feel a light squeeze around the hand that you nearly forgot was being held by the hacker. When you look up at him you can see sparkles in his eyes. When he notices your stare he looks away, is he embarrassed? “Sorry if I startled you, darling.” He apologizes for his sudden excitement, letting go of your hand “My flavor is still in stock,” he says with a smile. “Shall we go inside?” He holds the door open for you and you thank him, walking inside and losing yourself in the sweet scent. 

“Welcome!” the chipper cashier calls out. “Do you two know what you’d like?” Your partner wastes no time in calling out a practiced order, something with mint and a waffle cone that you don’t quite catch as you scan the overwhelming array of colors and flavors. Not wanting to spend too much time gawking, you throw out a fast ‘I’ll have what he’s having’ and make your way towards the counter.

“Good choice,” your partner of the evening says with a grin. You stop him as he starts reaching towards his pocket. He tilts his head at you with a questioning stare.

“It’s your birthday, right?” you state more than ask. “My treat.” You pull out and swipe your card before he has a chance to protest. He doesn’t speak for a few seconds, not expecting this act of kindness, but he quickly recovers with a laugh and a thank you as he takes his cone. “Where to?” you ask once you both successfully make it out of the shop with delicious looking chocolate dipped mint chocolate chip ice cream cones. You want to see how it tastes, but a deep rooted birthday etiquette that lives inside of you forbids you from taking the first bite. That’s reserved for the birthday boy, after all!

“Just up there,” he points to a nearby hill. “You can see the stars really well.” You smile and nod before starting the trek. It’s a cool evening, luckily, so your ice cream only barely starts to drip on the way up. Talking to the mysterious hacker seems to get easier as time goes on. Any leftover anxiety you had fades as you make light conversation and tease each other. It feels like you’ve known him for years. You attribute at least some of it to the ice cream, his speech has become a lot more bubbly and a lot less guarded after he got his hands on his cone. You never thought you’d call the person who broke into your phone cute, but you can’t help but smile at how happy he seems.

You reach the top of the hill before you know it. A blanket is already laid out at the very top, and he guides you to sit beside him on it. It’s not a huge blanket, your shoulders are nearly touching. Which is NOT something to blush about, you tell yourself. He pulls his mask down for the first time tonight, leaving you to stare at him for a bit longer than you would have liked to. He was definitely handsome, but there’s a layer of familiarity that you can’t quite put your finger on. His pretty lips turn up in a smirk. 

“What are you staring at?” You almost miss it, but his hands fidget slightly as he asks the question. Maybe he’s a bit more insecure than he lets on? You try to get past some of your shyness for his sake, if he’s worried about his looks you’d like to reassure him.

“Nothing much, I just think you look nice,” you smile, feeling just a bit of heat creep to your face. “Now-” you quickly change the subject. “You have to take the first bite of your ice cream so I can have mine. Birthday rules, and all.”

“Okay, okay, whatever you say, doll,” he chuckles. He takes a bite, trying to catch all the ice cream that threatens to drip off. “There.” You grin and have a taste, too. There’s something about small shops that make everything taste a thousand times better. It’s the sweetest, creamiest ice cream you’ve ever had. 

“Good, right?” he asks, already knowing your answer from the big smile on your face.

“Yup!” you exclaim. You finish your treats in a comfortable silence. The stars really are beautiful from the top of this hill, they appear so much bigger and brighter without the light pollution from the city. You glance to your side to see him looking back at you. 

“Enjoying yourself?” he asks. He’s closer than you remember.

“Yeah,” you breathe. “The stars are beautiful.” His eyes are shining like stars, too. The darkness has made their unnatural color stand out even more, it would be so easy to get lost looking into them. You force your gaze back to the sky, trying to ignore how fast your heart is beating. “Are you? Enjoying yourself, I mean? It’s your birthday, after all.”

“Yeah, I am,” he says without missing a beat. “It’s not often that I get to go out like this.”

“Because of your hacking job?” you ask.

“Yeah, something like that.” He sighs and leans back, looking up at the stars once again. What kind of life does he have? It’s hard to get a read on him. You can talk to him like an old friend but you don’t even know his name. You get the feeling he wouldn’t tell you even if you asked. Better not to, then. You’re satisfied with the little snippets of him that you’ve gotten today, and if he wants to reveal more you’ll let him do that at his own pace.

“Well, I’m glad I came out to meet you then.” He looks over at you again, studying your face. Almost like he’s waiting for you to take it back, or turn it into a joke. You don’t.

“Yeah, me too.”

[librarianbusdriver]

[Text made illegible by stabbing.]

When I really wanted to go to the bar. The bar... Big surprise. You sure spent a lot of time in bars. Ted: Well, that's just we did back then. Me, marshall and lily, Barney, We all used to hang out at this one bar Called mcclaren's. But then, one night... Why don't we go to mcclaren's? Let's go to mcclaren's. You guys talking to each other? Nobody's listening? What's wrong with mcclaren's? Mcclaren's is bore-snore. Ted, tonight we're going to go out. We're going to meet some ladies. It's going to be legendary. Phone five. Ted: I had no idea why I hung out with barney. You didn't phone five, did you? I know when you don't phone five, ted. Come on. We always to go to mcclaren's. Yeah, 'cause mcclaren's is fun. Mcclaren's is this much fun. What I'm offering is the chance to have... This much fun. See, you say that. You say it's going to be this much fun, But most of the time it ends up being this much fun. This much fun is good. It's safe. It's guaranteed. This hand gesture thing Doesn't really work on the phone, does it? No, it doesn't. ( Tires squealing ) Get in the cab. Marshall, you, too. I think lily and I are just going to... I understand. Get in the cab. Why can marshall say no? Uh, because he's getting laid. Consistently. Ted, ted, ted... You keep going to the same bar. You're in a rut. And I am a rut-buster. I'm going to bust your rut. It's not a rut, okay? It's a routine, and I like it. Ted, what's the first syllable in "rut-tine"? Peace out, suckers. All right, so what's this legendary plan? First we've got to pick someone up at the airport. Okay, I'm out of here. Estaban, doors. ( Doors locking ) Okay, we just do this one little thing, And the rest of the night is ours. Why do you have those suitcases, And who are we picking up? I don't know. Maybe her. Or her. ( Chuckles ) Wait, so when you said you were going To pick someone up at the airport, You meant you were going to "pick someone up" At the airport? Scenario: A couple of girls fly into town Looking for a fun weekend in nyc, When the meet Two handsome international businessmen Just back from a lucrative trip to japan. Sample dialogue: "you have a wheelie bag? Well, I have a wheelie bag." You've got to be kidding me. False. Sidebar... Tuck in your shirt. You look sketchy. I'm sketchy? Trust me, it's going to be legendary. Don't say "legendary," okay? You're too liberal with the word "legendary." We're building an igloo in central park. It's going to be legendary. Snowsuit up! Ted, ted, ted... Right here. This is happening. Now you can either put the bags on the carousel now, Or you can listen to me give you A really long speech Convincing you to put the bags on the carousel. Your move. Ted, since the dawn of time... Mankind has struggled... That night, marshall had a ton of studying to do. So lily went out with robin... Who was new to new york and looking for a friend. I'm so glad we finally get to hang out, just the two of us. Yeah. You sure you're okay giving up your Friday night To hang with an old, almost married lady? Oh, please. I'm so sick of the meat market scene. Guys are like the subway. You miss one, another one comes along in five minutes. Unless it's the end of the night and then you get on anything. Hey-oh! Compliments of that guy. Really? Sweet. Oh, for you it's $6. Oh, yes, that's one drawback to being engaged. I'm sure that's why he didn't... [Text made illegible by stabbing.] To refine our back story first. How did we...? Ted, you klutzy great guy you. Hey, I'm barney. Hi. My god, are you okay? I am so sorry. It's fine. No, you were shaky on your landing. I give you a 9.2. Ooh. Hi. I'm ted. Look, I'm really sorry that we have to hit and run, But we've got a plane to catch. Where you headed? Philadelphia. Philly? That's where we're headed. You are? Well, then we'll see you on the plane. Yes, you will. Follow them. Ticket's on me. [Text made illegible by stabbing.]

( Phone ringing ) Whazzup, ted? Are you all right? Yeah. Hey, guess where I am. I'm on a... Ready? Plane to... Ready? Philadelphia. [Text made illegible by stabbing.]

Let's go talk to those girls. Whoa, whoa, the seat belt sign's on. Ted, you've been living your whole life in a seat belt. It's time to unclick. Sir, the seat belt light's on. Yeah. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Well, I grew up in park slope. Oh, I love park slope. When did you move to manhattan? You're from park slope? Uh, no, she is. So where are you from? Heaven? Yeah, I'm a ghost. I died 15 years ago, like that pickup line. Hey-oh! God, I'm so sorry. Oh, believe me, I've been there. I have this line that I use when guys come... Check it out. Hey... You take this one. I'll save it for the next one. ( Chuckles ) So what brings you guys to philly? We're visiting our boyfriends. I think hers is going to propose this weekend. Isn't that great? So great. So there we were: Stuck on an airplane to philadelphia With two very un-single girls, [Text made illegible by stabbing.] crowding your junk. I'm not gonna take off my ring. Wouldn't you be jealous Of guys swarming all over my beeswax? Oh, yeah, you know me... I'm the jealous type. Any goon so much as looks at you, I'll sock him in the kisser. [Text made illegible by stabbing.] Bye. Robin! Robin! Hey, I'm over here. ♪ G-g-goin' to philly! Marshall, don't come to philly. But we're on an adventure. We're on a tarmac in philadelphia. Crazy... Adventure. Fine. No! No! The night has just started. Look, airport bar. Flight attendants. They'll get your tray table in its full upright position. Say what?! Passengers mosby and stenson, please come with us, gentlemen. Keep your hands where I can see them. Barney, I am going to kill you. Don't say you're gonna kill someone In front of airport security. Not cool, not cool. This is an outrage! We are international businessmen On very important international business trip. I demand you release us immediately! You demand?! No, no, no, no, no. He does not demand. We-we-we-we have no demands. [Text made illegible by stabbing.] Okay. Yeah, I'm calm. I'm totally calm. We've got footage of you placing two bags On jfk carousel 3, [Text made illegible by stabbing.] We are international businessmen. [Text made illegible by stabbing.] Now, please let us go Before we miss our international business meeting. Can't remember the last time I saw an international businessman With an untucked shirt. In addition, we received This footage taken over the last few months. Believe it or not, that duffel bag thing worked. The truth is, my friend... He does this thing where he goes to airports With fake luggage to pick up girls, And we followed some here to philadelphia. That-that-that's it. That's all this is. [Text made illegible by stabbing.] We at least get to call our lawyer. Exactly! We have a lawyer? Listen to me... you're both american citizens. Don't let him pull any patriot act voodoo. You both retain the right To refuse to answer any questions So don't say anything until I get there, all right? Okay. Good-bye. ♪ Philly! ♪ The adventure continues ♪ destroy! It's ridiculous in here. Why don't we go somewhere else? No, this place is great. What are you doing? What? With your lips and everything? My lips are always like this. You had to play the race card. Oh, relax, ted. We didn't do anything wrong. And, b.T.W., we'd be out of here by now If you had tucked in your shirt. Go ahead, jfk. What is the baggage status? They're clean. It's just a whole bunch of condoms. And a powerbar. You're free to go. Ted: Don't come to philly. Man, I'm almost halfway there. Yeah, we just got released And we're heading back on the next flight. Uh, meet us at mcclaren's. Maybe we can still make last call. Can't we just, just... No, we can't just. We're going home. We're going to sasha's. Who the hell is sasha? Sasha. She's having friends over for drinks at her house. It's gonna be legen... Wait for it... And I hope you're not lactose-intolerant 'cause the second half of that word is... Dary! No. Legendary. Legendary. That sounds awesome. No,

marshall, we're going back. Fine. Hold on. I have another call. ( Beep) Hello? Marshall, we're going to sasha's. No, we're not. Ted, ted, ted. Right here. Yes, we are. ( Beep) Sorry, buddy... two against one. Ooh, look, a booth opened up. Really? Yeah, I thought we could Finally go talk... And you're not Listening to me, so I'm going to walk away. Yeah, yeah, booth. Hey. Hey. I'm engaged. Yeah, I'm sorry. I took my ring off. It's very, very sweet of you To come over and talk to me, but I just... Yeah, I'm gay. I just came over to let you know That you sat on a grape. Oh, damn it. Ted: So barney and I hit the town. Philadelphia, pa. Our first and only stop: Sasha's party. ( tv blaring ) So, uh... You're sasha's friends, huh? You know it. ( Whispering): You guys, keep the volume down. You're gonna wake my grandpa. Who wants hard lemonade? Philly! Shh! ( softly): Philly. Back at the bar, girls' night out Wasn't going as robin had hoped. ( cell phone ringing ) Lily's phone. Robin, uh, where's lily? She's, uh... Is she talking to some hot guy? Oh, you can tell me. It's totally cool. It was my idea. Hell, I told her she could take the ring off. Really? Well, I thought it was kind of weird, But if you're cool with it, yeah, uh, it's off, And she's talking to some guy. Do you want me to go over and... No, don't interrupt. It's awesome. So, the ring's really off, huh? It's awesome. Well, just tell her I called. And tell her that she is... Awesome. ♪ Really, really awesome ( weakly ): ♪ our relationship is built on mutual trust ♪ I can't breathe. ( Iaughing ) You hear that, ted? Dana works security at the liberty bell. I do okay. Wow, it must be really well cordoned off over there. Do you ever go behind the rope and touch it? Only all the time. You ever, like, stick your head inside it? Yeah. You ever lick it? Nope. I have never licked it. Hmm. I bet nobody in history has ever licked the liberty bell. If someone were to pull that off, I dare say it would be... What's the word? Well, this is my stop. Legendary. Ted, legendary. Barney, I'm going to the airport. Sasha, thank you, and, uh, Tell your grandpa I'm sorry I walked in on him in the bathroom. I'll get some club soda for that stain. Lily, I thought tonight was about us hanging out. Just fending off the advances of that totally hot guy. Dude, I think that guy is gay. Oh, I know that guy is gay. It's just, marshall and I have been together for nine years. I haven't been single since high school. You want to be single? You want to fight off loser guys all night? Does that seem like fun to you? I guess I just wanted to throw this net back into the ocean And see how many fish I could catch. So far, one. One gay dolphin. And marshall. Lily, all these girls here tonight Are all hoping to catch what you've already got. You're right. I know. Hey, do you want to go get coffee And have an actual conversation? If by "coffee" you mean "cheesecake," then yes. Hey, I got that club soda. Let's see that booty. Oh, thank you so much. You want to mess, pal? That's my fiancée's hot backside that you're dabbing. Marshall, no. Baby, please, don't ever take that ring off again, No matter how awesome I say that it is. It's okay, man... Back off, hombre! I'm not that afraid to fight you. You want to test This guy, be my guest, come on. Marshall, he's gay. Oh, thank god. I've never been in a fight before. You don't say. Ted: So, it turned out Uncle marshall really was the jealous type. Unfortunately, that guy's boyfriend... Also the jealous type. Hey! Could have licked the liberty bell. We're going to the airport. Bong... Bong... Bo... Why do I hang out with you? Why? All I wanted was to have a regular beer At my regular bar with my regular friends In my regular city. Ted, ted, ted. You're not even looking. No, I'm not. Look, our forefathers died for the pursuit of happiness, okay? Not for the sit around and wait of happiness. Now, if you want, You can go to

the same bar, drink the same beer, Talk to the same people every day, Or you can lick the liberty bell. You can grab life by the crack and lick the crap out of it. That was beautiful, man. Thanks, leonard. Ted, you're missing out on a valuable life lesson here. Look, I don't need you to teach me how to live, okay? I know how to live. If you want to go lick the liberty bell, Just go lick it yourself. No, it has to be the two of us. Why? Why do you need me? Because you're my best friend, all right? You don't have to tell me I'm yours, But the way I see it, we're a team. Without you, I'm... I'm just the dynamic uno. So, fine, if you want to go home, Then we'll go home. ( Sighs ) Fine. We'll go lick the liberty bell. Good 'cause we're here. I had no idea how barney Redirected the cab without me knowing, And by god, we licked the liberty bell. You know what it tastes like? What? Freedom. No, actually, it tastes like pennies. Oh, my god. Did you guys really do that? We really did. And that was when I realized why I hung out with barney. I never got where I thought I wanted to go, So, that girl you were talking to... That was mom? Kids, every story in a man's life Is like a dot in an impressionist painting... So that's a no? Yeah, that's a no. ( Kids sighing) [Text made illegible by stabbing.]

Hmm...? The manufactured world around me falls apart! A fanged smirk plays across my lips, as I know, here and now, that a kind Samaritan is granting me...

Freedom!

WHAT THE FUCK????

FREEDOM? WHAT??? HUH???????

[onelastbreath-writes]

On Bruce And Texting:

Author’s Note: Hello and welcome, this is my first properly written fic, originally posted to my AO3, and now that I have finally created a writing blog, it’s here as well. Please enjoy!!  AO3.  Masterlist

Warnings: Hopefully none, its all cute and fluff <3

Summary: Bruce Wayne texts like he's sending correspondences to the Queen, so of course the little monsters he calls children just have to make fun of him! Brats, the lot of them, but he wouldn't have them any other way.

Features: Bruce Wayne/Selina Kyle, all the bats and birds, mentions JL, no crime fighting, only family fluff, jokes and nods to Millennial and GenZ shenanigans.

Word Count: 2.7k

---

Billionaire, genius, tech expert, father of many children, and all around up-to-date-with-just-about-everything type of person he may be, it is also a well-known Fact that Bruce Wayne, the Batman(TM) himself, can’t text to save his life.

Whether it’s due to his Very Proper English Upbringing, his inability to be informal via written correspondences of any type, his indifference, or the fact that it bothers his children so much, Bruce Wayne has not and never will text with anything less than perfect grammar, spelling, and formality. If he has not sent you a proper letter (featuring a dedication, indentation for every paragraph, signature, and post-script when applicable), he did, in fact, not send you that text. Informality is not his Batman Way(TM) according to his children... he’s not too sure what that even means, but it makes his young ones laugh so it’s probably fine?  

His oldest children (Richard and Jason) were raised in the time of Change, where computers, internet access, social media, and all things similar were only just being introduced into households en-masse. They were young enough to remember a time without such devices and connectivity (both for very different reasons, of course, but they grew up without the newest technology none-the-less). They could understand his relationship to the digital environment more so than his younger children, but they still tended to poke fun at his ‘texting blunders’ regularly. All his kids somehow ended up as brats. He doesn’t know how this happened. It’s certainly not his fault. He blames the League members, and especially Clark Kent, for their defiant personalities. 

His younger children, whom he loves dearly, like to confuse him as much as they possibly can with their slang, egregious spelling errors, and all-around ‘internet humour’. He doesn’t know what ‘wig’ or ‘worm’ or ‘oof’ or anything means. He has no idea what those dances are, or how they relate to the music that seems to always accompany them, and for the love of all that is good, don’t ask him what he thinks of this or that ‘meme’. What even is a ‘meme’, and should he be more concerned about his kids being obsessed with them? He tries, oh my god, does he try to follow the children’s conversations, but they somehow all learned a language he has no idea how to decrypt. His best response to them once they start speaking in tongues is as follows: smile but not too much, listen to child even though he is deeply confused, and pat child on head or shoulder when they are finished and are looking for assurance.  

He refuses to be a parent who ignores or tunes out his children, so he always makes sure to put down his work, his crossword, his tools, or whatever else is in his hands when a child searches him out for a conversation. But somehow, despite all the time he spends around them and their strange words, when he gets text from them comprised of abbreviations, acronyms, and completely random words, he goes a little cross eyed. He would never tell anyone, but he keeps a running list on his phone about the things they say that he has had to translate in the past. Spilling tea? Speaking the truth, usually to do with gossip. Wow? Multiple possible meanings: either a video game, or someone saying it (different pronunciation depending on context and who sent the text). Stickbug? A nice little prank with no ulterior motives, just for fun. Something along the lines of “this basic bitch Karen at the grocery store who is a dirty rat-licker and is def an anti-vaxxer just took 45 (forty-five) minutes to decide she didn’t actually want that almond milk. I Stan the cashier who had to put up with her. Rad af dude.” roughly translates to “A rude, middle-aged white woman who wasn’t wearing a mask and doesn’t believe in disease control or vaccinating her children wasted a great deal of an essential worker’s time in the checkout line. The cashier was very professional in their dealings with said customer and should be commended on their actions.”  

Given enough time, the internet for searching up new slang words, and occasionally some help from a friend (Alfred, Selina, Lucius, another of his children, etc), Bruce could decode and respond appropriately to most texts. He was quite proud of these achievements, and although he didn’t always like how often his children were on their phones or computers or gaming systems, he was quite proud of how integrated and easily they adapted to the ever-evolving world of electronics. All his kids were gifted in many ways, but their ability to learn, their hunger for knowledge, and their perseverance when exploring new and challenging ideas were always the things that he was most impressed by.  

He could do without their comments though. Yes, surprisingly, he did manage to get girlfriends with his type of texting. No, he doesn’t miss the ‘good old days’ when telegraphs were the main form of long-distance correspondence (how old do these brats think he is?!). And yes, he does know what a “tweet” is, and how to “post” on his social media accounts, and what “sliding into your DMs” is (thanks to a frantic search after a WE employee mentioned it near him). The Wayne children, truly whom and what Bruce considers his pride and joy, are cruel little jerks to him sometimes. His hoard of parenting books fails to mention what one should do when their children gang up on them. Bullying is covered of course, but he can’t really talk to a teacher or his guardian about how his second son calls him an idiot sandwich, or that his third son regularly tries to get him to do something “For The Vine”. His oldest and youngest boys are only slightly better in the bullying him department; Richard and his puppy dog eyes when he wants to do something dangerous or not-Alfred-approved, and Damian and his growing collection of pets because “Mother never let me have them, and I am deprived, and don’t you love me Father?”.  

His only good child is his beautiful daughter Cassandra, the flower of the Wayne clan. She gives him hugs, and pats his hands, and can sit with him and just enjoy the quiet and stillness when his other children are not around. Her language skills are improving by leaps and bounds every day, and her heart and spirit are unparalleled, but her main method of communication is in her movements. Her hands, her posture, her dancing; Bruce couldn’t think of a more graceful, fluid, powerful person if the world depended on it. His amazing little girl doesn't bully him (and if she ever does, he probably deserves it, he trusts her), so he turns to her most of all when it comes to communicating with someone else. She doesn’t let him send anything that is “sketchy” or “wrong words, bad meaning, Dad”. He would give the world to his children, but for Cassandra, he would destroy it and build her an entirely new one.

Social media, especially with his terrible children all having accounts dedicated to making him look like a simpleton, was another rocky terrain he had to navigate on the regular. He had professionals in place at WE to run the company’s many accounts, paid top dollar to help appeal and relate to the masses, but he mostly had to manage his personal accounts himself. And so, @TheRealBruceWayne was one of the greatest struggles in his adult life. Why can’t he just retweet every post from @WE_Offical and leave it at that? People should only want to know about what’s new with the company. What do you mean they want to know more about our family and private lives? That’s unnecessary, and not important to the running of the company, right? Right? Why are you laughing?!

Luckily, most people in his life aren’t so intimately aware of his struggles. He can act and lie all he wants about being “hip” and “woke” and whatever else the kids are saying these days when he’s with the JL or in board meeting intermissions, networking with his associates. The Batman knows all and sees all, Green Lantern, of course he understands how “Tiktok” works. The Batman is a robot without a funny bone in his body, Green Arrow, but I did witness him sigh and say “same” when he knocked his cup of coffee over while on monitor duty once. No matter how badly his darling children call him out, the Justice League would be so much worse. So, it’s one of his most importantly guarded secrets... even more so than his secret identity at this point. Being unmasked in front of every Gotham rogue would be less detrimental to him than his “friends” learning of his utter ineptitude in staying on top of the younger generations’ lingo.  

When questioned why the League doesn’t have a group chat or a forum or anything that they can use to contact each other outside of world ending matters and communicator (”because we’re friends, Batman! Ma and Pa Kent would love to have everyone over for a barbecue!”), the person who dared even mention texting isn’t even given a verbal response. They are just glared at, silently, often for several uninterrupted minutes, frozen in place only able to breathe shallowly in fear of setting off the Bat. “You know why” his glare says, “I’ll eat you, your family, and everything you have ever held dear” the younger members hear. No one makes the mistake of asking about it twice.  

Outside of his children and Alfred, and his small circle of true friends involved in all aspects of his life, there is only one more person Bruce allows to know of his Darkest Secret. Selina. Someone most people would recommend he not be involved with. Catwoman: accomplished thief, distraction, chaos-incarnate most nights, and his significant other. Sharp as a whip (ha) and crafty like no one’s business; he is head-over-heels. On again/Off again and all over the place their long romance has been, but no one has ever challenged him, intrigued him, like this clever, beautiful, amazing woman has. He’s brought his partners around his children before, both for their judgement, and for their worst behaviours to vet out any “unworthy” suitors. He trusts them explicitly to tell him the truth about those he allows into the manor; were they rude about Bruce wanting to have group outings, did they say something about Bruce’s money, did they get angry or shout or make anyone uncomfortable while they were here? If his children even looked slightly unhappy with someone he brought them to meet, that person would not be invited back. Children, he finds, have the best sight when meeting people; no motives other than finding safety and love, no fear of consequences from speaking honestly...  

Selina, or Catwoman, as they had known her first, was someone all of his kids liked without issue right off the bat. She would make puns and play word games with Richard, his first Robin, tiny, still working on his English, able to connect with him over their acrobatic abilities. His second Robin, Jason, skittish and feisty as an alley cat, knew of Catwoman and her daring escapades long before Bruce found him. The young boy had a few heroes, and no one (not even Wonder Woman) could compare to the incredible burglar who bought food and jackets and medicine for the street kids in Crime Alley. She was saintly in his eyes, and to this day, Bruce was still working on convincing Jason he was good enough for Selina. Tim and Cass and Stephanie (basically another daughter to Bruce, she spends so much time with the family) all joined the Wayne clan around the same time and officially met Selina as a friend and partner of his, and in the good graces of his first two sons. Selina, in all her nightly business, and many travels and acquaintances, had met the three independently, helping Tim get home safely back to Drake Manor when he escaped to photograph Batman and Robin in the dank darkness of Gotham when he was just a young boy, spending some time with Cassandra when her despicable father left her alone long enough to recover from his rough treatment, showing her the first scraps of kindness in her short life, and watching over and protecting Stephanie as she followed and sabotaged her father Cluemaster and his criminal activities. There was no need to win them over once they met her civilian identity, she had already gained their favour and acceptance, and they were happy to have her near their new family. Damian, his youngest, his biological son, took the longest to warm up to Selina. He would never fault his little boy for fighting so hard against a woman that was not his birth mother, especially after all the manipulation and cruelty dealt to him by Talia for the first decade of his life. But as he began to learn about his father, these people in his father’s life, and this woman that was Not His Mother but “still okay, I guess”, he grew to see her as acceptable. Her cats definitely helped, he’d say, no one with cats that loyal and happy can be a bad person.  

Selina, the love of his life, he’d admit quietly to himself, was also a dirty traitor and in cahoots with his terrible children. She would say his texting skills were “sweet” and “very gentlemanly” when she was asked by anyone outside the family, and privately to him she would say she thought they were “adorable” and “please don’t ever change, Bruce, I like it.” However, nothing seemed to bring her more joy than his children sending her texts and “Snaps” and “memes” about him to her. Sometimes it was screenshots of the family group chat that they forced him to join, where he would post “To whom it may concern...” and “In regards to...” when he needed to reach all his delinquents in a timely manner. Sometimes it was video clips of him staring at his phone intently, then typing something on his laptop, then him reading and nodding along, and then finally going back and responding to the text he received with a small, pleased smile. And sometimes, when he got too injured or was too incapacitated to text coherently, he’d have his nearest able child transcribe his text to her. Depending on who was texting her for Bruce, she could expect many different things. From Dick, she’d get lots of shorthand and silly emojis, and many, many, winky and crying/laughing faces in brackets depending on what Bruce had made him type. Jason, bless him, used proper English most of the time, but would never write a single word of Bruce’s soliloquy to her, instead she enjoyed the TL;DR version: “hurt again, missing you, come home soon, blah blah blah, sappy gross words here, love you”. Tim would allow speech recognition to run on Bruce’s phone, and just let it go until the man passed out. Stephanie, the little chaos child, would film it and send it to her, including all her muffled laughter and shaky camera shots of Bruce emoting with his available undamaged limbs. Cass, still more versed in physicality and emotive movement, would interpret Bruce’s text into mostly emojis, hearts and happy faces and animals, but would include photos, and phrases that she found important enough to type out for Selina. Damian, forever his Father’s son in any way possible, texts very formally, referring to her or his siblings Bruce mentions by last name only, and lots of “Father requests me to tell you...” and “Kyle, know that Father...”. She adores these kids, and once Bruce recovers enough to text her himself, or she gets back to the Manor, they get to laugh about whatever she was sent this time.  

So, while it’s true that Bruce couldn’t text his way out of a wet paper bag, and his kids are sometimes brats about it, there’s probably a lot of different reasons he doesn’t spend too much time trying to improve his skills. Whether it’s the smiles of his children, the giggles of his significant other, or the warm feeling in his chest when he sees all his important people bonding over him, well, in the end, who’s to say?

[seancamerons]

First line game

Tagged by nobody !! Thank you for the tag, I genuinely love these things 🧡

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories! See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favourite authors! (I don't know if it's last 20 posted or last 20 WIPs so we're gonna compromise and do last 10 posted and last 7 WIPs I've been working on!) Favorite authors: @reinhartroleplays and i’m not sure but theodorathayer from ff.net and ao3 come to mind idk if she’s on here.  The starred ones are my favorites. 

---

WIP 

Summer Daze It's July 2004 and Emma and Chris aren't doing well together. Between Chris being somewhat distant, temperamental and preoccupied with music and overall lack of communication between the pair Emma assumes it'll only be a matter of time before their relationship is over. They talk everyday but the romance leaves a lot to be desired.

Maybe this Christmas Emma Nelson awoke bright and early 7:00 AM to her alarm buzzing and she was anything but chipper. It was a cold December morning and she shivered once she took the blankets off her in her king-sized bed. Together Forever * Emma Nelson spent her summer days by the pool catching rays and nights at the ravine with someone unexpected - Jay Hogart. Summer fling, nothing committed or serious. Its August 2005 and the living is rather easy. Backtrack The bells on the door jingle as a figure trudges in to the warmth of The Dot, the neighborhood eatery at closing time on a Saturday night. The streets were bare aside from a few cars; it's at this time that Emma typically closes down shop and goes home. She carefully picked up a cup left behind at a table to send to the back. Focused on her craft she didn't really budge making sure she didn't drop anything. She often believes it's not a normal workday if at least one mug breaks. I Have Nothing * '...I can never forget how we ended on such bad terms with that fight, and then he left my heart bleeding in his hands as I crumbled my photograph meant for him. It sucks how it haunts me to see him every day,' Emma writes in her bright red diary with a pen as she takes a sip of Jack Daniels straight from the bottle. She sighs and then finishes, 'he was so not who I thought he was.' She almost had half the mind to tear out the entry crumble it into the trashcan like she did that photograph. This was how Emma spent most weeknights in the basement bedroom getting plastered and writing her thoughts in a diary.  Orange Car of Secrets (Hiatus) Emma Nelson, Jay Hogart and Ellie Nash have just piled into the car and were en route back home. It was around six o'clock. The sun was orange in the sky and the air was stale. The three were hungry, sweating and dirty still from the sand lingering in their clothes. It had been a long day and a day of ages for the misfit ragtag group of acquaintances. Emma had longingly looked out the window to see their friend, Sean Cameron being ripped from their lives and their memories. She saw he had tears in his eyes. Judging by his demeanor it was difficult for him to say his goodbyes. One thing that struck her as strange was he hadn't even said goodbye to her. The wordless look was all she needed to get her by. It was worth a thousand goodbyes. Maybe his goodbye to her was just the hardest one because of their past that he more than made up for in the last twenty-four hours or so. The Starlet and the Dealer (Discontinued) Zoe Rivas, child-starlet was the epitome of popular with teenaged girls. She was just sixteen herself. Piles and piles of both open and unopened letters handwritten and typed come from girls all over, some in English some in other languages that only a translator could read litter her bedroom. If the girls knew her day to day life they likely wouldn't have had such nice things to say. Honestly, they would have probably of text messaged and tweeted their thoughts or anonymously hurl threats from a computer screen. 

One-Shots/Drabbles

Why don’t you believe me? *

Sean entered the main vestibule at the courthouse handcuffed with an officer present for court. Emma's mind was flooded with sadness as she saw him battered and bruised.

Mutual

The words turned her world from bright and innocent full of hope in the air to darken shades of monochrome. Fortunately for Emma, there was still a lingering light still flickering in the distance. Although Archie had only been her family for a short time, he was always around and she never would be able to fathom a world without him.

Homecooked Meal

The first day of school was pretty eventful for Sean but he was glad that it's over. After the final bell rings he makes the trek to caf to see Sheila the lunch lady. He hadn't seen her all summer and he had to stay behind in Simpson's class because he wanted to talk to him so he missed lunch.

Addicted

I didn't mean to see that you know, see him scoring drugs on the street corner from one of those sketchy thugs down the street. I was buying the newest installment of the Fortnight book series to sink my teeth into, no pun intended. Maybe fun intended, maybe I should put down Fortnight, I'm too old for vampire fantasies not when very real ones exist in my life.

Unfinished Business *

The only time we can be together is while she's asleep, how lame does that sound? I can stay in her house forever if I wanted to. I was invited there even if she doesn't want to acknowledge me. It's my fault she doesn't listen to my messages or chooses to ignore them. I get that now and if she resents me forever it'll hurt. She never mentions me. My name is Cam, but I know you were thinking I might as well be named Casper the friendly. . wait for it don't finish. 

Honesty Maya Matlin stood still for a moment, playing back the recent moment in her mind as it echoed and swam through her brain. "I should've just kissed you." He whispered just inches from her, his eyes wide. Her eyebrow raised and then he just walked away. She knew he meant every word. Girlfriend of the Month * Sean Cameron like most guys his age found himself in the bathroom more often than not in search of reading material. He had the house to himself for the day, his girlfriend was out with friends and he could pretty much do whatever he wanted on that day. Since his long-time girlfriend Ellie moved in he found it more or less refreshing to see that she subscribed to some magazines but most of the reading material is not anything that is remotely of interest to him. A smiling blonde beauty graced the cover of this month's Girltrash magazine and in his boredom he picked it up reluctantly. He didn't expect that kind of magazine of Ellie to own because of it's preppish style of writing but sometimes he struggles to expect the unexpected.

The Reunion Even though Sean never graduated and was expelled from Degrassi he still managed to get invited to the class reunion for the class of 2007. Sean technically never graduated from the school, but he always considered it his high school despite getting his high school equivalency a short time after his expulsion. He can't believe it's been a little over 10 years since he last has seen some of his long time friends. He spent those years growing as an individual. He achieved most of his personal goals for example he owned his own garage called Cameron's Custom Cars. He was also going stag by choice because he wanted his reemergence to be a surprise to his old friends and best of all he was single. He was briefly seeing a girl but it was mostly casual on his end and his mind was always elsewhere. When Liberty received the email that he was making the reservation she knew she was the only one who knew and while she knew Emma was on student council she made absolutely sure she had no clue he was coming.

[3starsquinn]

Study Mary || Connor & Orion

Timing: Weekend of 10/17, right before Rio’s birthday

Setting: The Scribrary

Parties: Rio and @connorspiracy

Summary: Rio gets the chance to show off the Scribrary to Connor so they can try to research Bloody Mary. Their search yields minimal results.

Orion has grown accustomed to this. Apparently, the friends that he had been making around town were all just involved in the supernatural as he was. Rio had lists of things he needed to look into at the Scribrary, why not had a ghost of legend come to life to his queue. He pulled into a parking lot on the campus where he was supposed to meet Connor and sat in his car until Connor got there. “Hey!” He waved, “So the building is in the woods behind the campus. Cars can’t get there anymore, so it’s a bit of a walk. The place isn’t exactly… modern. I’ve been trying to clean the place out but it’s really outdated. You ready?”

Connor had several Go Pros on him, along with his regular camera and phone. He didn’t know exactly how much Rio wanted him to film, if anything, but he was curious about this place, and was interested to get it on camera. People made documentaries about crappy things all the time. Why should this be any different? “What, no state of the art streaming set ups in every room?” Connor shook his head. “You should be ashamed,” he teased, giving Rio a wink. “Alright. Lead the way then. Blanche and Adam mentioned you’re kind of the book bloke, so I figured if anyone can find something on Bloody Mary, it’d be you.” He followed wherever Rio led, interested to see the place where Rio housed his books. “Isn’t it a pain in the arse coming here all the time? You ever thought about digitalising it?” 

Orion led the way through the woods. The terrain wasn’t perfect, but it had been worn down from the myriad of trips that Rio and some others had taken to the place. Although he had been more open and willing to show the place to people he still kept access pretty limited. As it was, he had only actually shown a few people how to get into the building. Everyone else needed an escort. “Ha ha. Very funny. I haven’t really gotten the chance to set up internet yet. It’d be a bit difficult to explain that to Spectrum.” Regardless, he appreciated the compliments from Blanche and Adam. He wasn’t sure he believed the kind words, but it was still flattering nonetheless. “I’m pretty used to the hike now, actually. Before I moved in with Winston I sort of lived here for a bit. Unofficially.” Rio’s favorite part about showing the building off to people was getting to the empty clearing where it sat shrouded by magic. “Actually Winston and I are working on digitizing it! They’re building a website and everything and I’m working on moving things over but… well you’ll see for yourself. It’s a lot of stuff to switch over.” Rio moved towards the rotting tree, using the same method his uncle had shown him so many years ago to make the building visible. Once he was done it was as if an invisible fog began to lift as the building slowly became visible. “So uh- The building looks old but I promise it’s safe. The library is a little cleaner than the rest of the space.”

Connor followed, grateful he hadn’t worn any of his nicer clothes for this trip. “This town and its bloody forests,” he joked, grunting as a branch snagged on his jeans. “How’d you even find this place?” It didn’t seem like the sort of place you’d stumble on by accident. Which was probably a good thing, because having all this information out in the woods stuck him as pretty risky. “Winston’s your room mate, yeah? I think Blanche or someone mentioned they’re into computers and gaming and stuff.” He watched as Rio found the way in, raising an impressed eyebrow. “Damn, should’ve filmed this part so I can come back later without you,” he teased. “I’m not scared of rotting old buildings, mate. Look who you’re talking to.” He turned on the GoPro to take some shots, and pulled out his phone too for good measure. He’d probably set up a steady-cam when they were settled in. “Are there ghosts here? It seems haunted as fuck,” he snickered, but followed Rio inside, wide-eyed and impressed. “Damn, I could spend hours exploring this place.” 

“Well this building used to belong to a group of people called the Scribes,” Orion began explaining, though he didn’t want to focus too much on them and bore Connor to sleep, “They used to keep records of the supernatural. My uncle wanted to be one of them. He showed me this place when I was a kid.” Rio was actually surprised that Connor hadn’t met Winston yet given the way the town usually worked, “Yeah! I moved in with them and our roommate Ricky a few months ago. Winston’s a genius with all the computer stuff, way better than me.” Probably not the best resume seller when Connor had just officially hired him to help film and edit, but Rio tended to be painfully honest. Especially when it came to complimenting Winston. “Ha! Okay, yeah fair point. You are alarmingly unafraid of sketchy architecture.” Rio opened the front doors and made his way down the hallways, winding back through the building and towards the library. “Your guess is as good as mine, honestly. I’ve never seen but, but I guess I wouldn’t. You might like to hear that this place has a ton of rooms that are locked and I still can’t get open.”

Rio wiggled his eyebrows and grinned, clearly something that might pique Connor’s curiosity. At the end of the hallway, Rio pushed the big door open into the massive library, book shelves going two more levels and sprawling from floor to ceiling. “Yeah it’s uh- pretty crazy right? This is why I’m still working on digitizing” Rio shrugged but found one of the old work desks and jumped up on it, pulling his laptop free from his bag and opening it up. “But I do have the place mostly organized. My guess is we should start in the section about ghosts and spirits?”

"Oh yeah. I think I've heard of 'em. Used to safeguard supernatural knowledge, have big old archives and stuff. I guess that makes sense." Connor knew about ghosts, demons and the varying types of supernatural to the extent that was expected for someone who made his living filming videos about it, but when they made their way to the massive library, he was struck with the realisation that no matter how much he tried to learn, there'd always be more to know. The fact both excited and intimidated him. "This is sick, mate," he said, rubbing his hands together with enthusiasm as he scoured the shelves. "Right, where’s that section then? We should start with Bloody Mary, yeah? And then maybe possessions and polters, see if we can find something that'll help Nadia and my mate." 

Orion liked seeing people’s reactions to the place. It reminded him of his own reaction when his uncle had brought him here so many years ago. Rio had always been fascinated with books and learning, so his excitement wasn’t surprising. But he liked seeing how his friends reacted to the space. “Yeah, it’s pretty crazy.” Rio laughed, pointing over one of the tables, “I keep a hoard of snacks under the table over there. I got soda and junk food if you want to grab anything.” Rio would swoop by and grab something once he figured out exactly where they would start looking. Though he was far from ever completing his goal of completely digitizing the place, Rio had gotten the place fairly organized and had mostly made sure that things had stayed organized. To the point that Rio asked when people borrowed things they just returned them on the tables so Rio could be in charge of putting them back.

“Maybe we’ll get lucky and there will be an entire journal labelled Bloody Mary. But until then I think we will just have to scour the section on spirits and hope for the best.” Orion wished he had something more concrete, but for now he could only hop up from the table and lead Connor towards the ghost section, taking a small detour to grab a drink before doing so. The ghost section stayed on the first floor, mostly because it was one of the more common ones he had pulled information for. Side effects of his friendship with Blanche no doubt. “Pull anything that looks like it might be useful and we can start going through them, okay? Some of the old Scribes kept journals and I’ll grab them just in case something like this has appended before.” 

"I love places like this," Connor enthused, hands running along the spines of the dusty books on the shelves. He could see why Rio and Winston were having a tough job digitalizing everything. "It's like a supernatural treasure trove. Do they have anything else cool? Old artefacts or anything?" His inner supernatural geek bubbled to the surface for a few moments before he remembered why they were here, and he gave a shrug. "Something cool to look into after we sent Bloody Mary Bloody Packing," he said with a goofy smile. "It can't all be doom and gloom." Connor had a knack for finding the silver lining in dark situations. He liked to think it was part of what made him fun to watch. 

"Ghosts and spirits and ghoulies... but first, snacks." He went to where Rio had pointed, a bag of gummy bears and Lays potato chips. He'd just have to wipe his hands before touching the books. He munched on Rio's offerings as he perused the shelves, doing his best to contain his curiosity and only dig out what they actually needed. "Here's one on Malevolent Spirits. Maybe she's in there." He placed it on the pile, along with whatever Rio had pulled. "Ghosts of Scottish Legend? Sure, why not." Within a few minutes, they had quite the pile to get started on. 

“Me too, obviously. I still have a whole makeshift bedroom set up just in case I stay here too late.” Orion laughed, happy to have another person to share the knowledge with. “This place has a ton of stuff that I still don’t know about, honestly. I’ve always just been too afraid to explore the place by myself. Plus some of the doors are magically sealed. I can’t get them open.” Rio hadn’t put much thought into trying to get them open, honestly. He was curious by nature, but that curiosity wasn’t nearly as strong as Rio’s fear of danger. Way too many things could be behind that door.

Rio didn’t waste any time once they had built their stack of books. Rio wasn’t much fun once he dove into research. He had an ability to completely block out the world while he was skimming the pages. Rio flipped through pages quickly, scanning for keywords that might give any inclination that Bloody Mary had shown up before. Bonus points if there’s a way to get rid of her. Or them. Did evil spirits identify with a certain gender? Rio wasn’t willing to interrupt his reading to entertain the question. He finally perked up from his spot once he had find something interesting, mindlessly waving his hand and smacking against the table top to grab Connor’s attention. “Hey. Look at this. This chapter talks about a female spirit that anyone can see. Not just mediums or undead. The description sounds eerily like how I would describe Bloody Mary.” He handed the book of to Connor to take a look at and see for himself.

"A bedroom?" Connor teased, giving him a playfully flirtatious snicker. "My book collection brings all the boys to the yard?" Luckily, Connor wasn't actually trying to get laid, so he didn't really care if his jokes were shit. "Damn. I'd make it a challenge to open those doors." A task for another time, definitely, but one Connor certainly wouldn't forget. "How'd you come to know about this place and be the designated book-lord, anyway?" he asked, still snacking as they worked through pages, and pages, and more pages. 

Interest piqued, hopes perhaps just a little bit higher than they'd been before coming in, Connor leaned in to get a closer look at the passage Rio was talking about. "Did they give her a name? I've looked up 'Bloody Mary' in a bunch of these indexes and most of them so far take me to passages that say she's just fictional." 

“Ha ha. Hilarious.” Orion rolled his eyes at Connor but laughed. He handled the shameless flirting surprisingly well, considering how he used to be whenever someone pretty so much as spoke to him, let alone flirt. But Rio supposed a lot of that anxiety was taken away once he had started dating Winston. “It’s more like a community room anyways. It let my Scribes have a place to crash if they were deep into research. The place has a bunch of bunk beds.” Something from Connor’s tone of voice told him that the room research would be coming up at another, less chaotic time. “My uncle knew about the Scribes. He was training to be one right before the Scribes bit the dust. He brought me here when I was a kid. I think I might have been the only one in town that even knew the place was here until I started to show it to people.”

“Um, give me a minute” Orion pulled the book back towards him to scan through further, flipping pages until he finally found the word, “A theory. Right here, he says that it has a lot of similarities to modern day myths about Bloody Mary. I don’t think this guy ever confirmed anything though.” Rio flipped a few more pages, “Looks like he did some sort of study. Tried to gather a bunch of people to see who could see bloody mary.” Rio passed the book off to Connor again.

Connor edged closer to Rio to get a good look at the book. “Lemme see that…” He replaced whatever book he’d been nose-deep in with the one Rio had been reading. “You know, I think this might be her.” He read through the rest of the page, his eyes zeroing in on something down near the bottom. “Oh, mate…” He pointed to the passage, reading it out loud. “The spirit targeted only those who had taken human life; those who were innocent were spared.” He flipped through to the next page, which was so heavily water damage that it was barely more than a blur. “Great. The part about how they got rid of her is gone.” 

Though it hardly helped many others in this town, Orion breathed a sigh of relief that Bloody Mary only targeted murderers. It was a bit of a relief to know that he didn’t have to worry about the ghost trying to kill him. Whatever confidence he had dropped when he realized that the same couldn’t be side for the majority of his friend group. He knew for sure that Winston, Blanche and Nell had been involved in the resurrection of Nell’s sister. He also knew exactly what they had done in order to bring her back. And Rio wasn’t naive enough to believe that Adam had never taken a life. The anxiety spiked again and Rio forced it down by focusing instead on Connor’s words. “Great. Water damage. Of course.” Rio sighed and slid off of the table to grab his laptop. “I’m going to see if there’s anything else in here by the same Scribe that wrote that. If we can’t find anything then maybe… try to find some sort of spellcaster? If this thing was summoned, maybe someone knows ways to reverse it.”

Connor’s throat was dry, his cheeks warm as the feeling of concern overcame him. “Does that mean those high school kids who’d summoned her killed someone?” he asked, mostly to himself. “Or maybe the rule doesn’t apply if you summon her. Like, you sort of take that risk upon yourself by bringing her into the world.” He pulled out his phone to take a photo of the pages, sending them along to Nell, Adam, Jasmine and Blanche. “That’s a good idea.” Unlike Rio, he knew nothing of any potential murderers among his friends, but his interaction with Adam down at the river stuck out like a sore thumb in his mind. Adam didn’t know if he’d killed that girl or not. He’d been too drunk to remember. It had been an accident, but maybe Mary wouldn’t see it that way. “We really need to find a way to get rid of her.”

“Good question. I’ve heard summoning stuff is dangerous anyways. Maybe they did something wrong and that’s how they ended up dead. Either way it’s sad.” Orion couldn’t imagine willingly being part of something like that back when he was in high school. But he didn’t know the context of their situation. Regardless, now Rio and Connor and whoever else was around were stuck with cleaning up the mess. “Well, I can tell it’s going to be a long night. Maybe I can talk Blanche into picking up a pizza and meeting us here. Turn this into a study party? I have lots of energy drinks. Plus beds if you want to crash part way through the night!” Maybe they’d get lucky and come across something useful.

[letsbenditlikebennett]

Short Girl Summer || Ariana & Nell

TIMING: During Midsommer Nightmare POTW PARTIES: @nelllraiser & @letsbenditlikebennett SUMMARY: Freaking out over her newly found shoplifting hobby, Ariana runs to Nell to see if she can help get Otto out of her head. 

With yet another backpack full of shoplifted items, Ariana was beginning to freak out a little bit. Between all the overwhelming things going on and now having someone in her head, she was about to have a full on meltdown. Whoever was in her head needed to get the fuck out. It dawned on her that Nell seemed to know a lot about different kinds of magic and would be her best bet for help. She shot her a quick text that she was coming by before running over. She was a bit winded as she greeted, “Nell, hey! Sorry to like come over out of the blue, but I’m freaking out a little bit here and I think if anyone would know what the fuck is going on with me, it’d be you.” 

It was one of the rare moments Nell was actually inside the Vural house, not spending all that much time inside its walls even though Bea was back. The perimeter spell pinged on her wrist as someone crossed the property line, and thanks to Ariana’s message, she was able to meet the interloper on the porch of the house, raising a hand to wave to the other girl. “Hey!” she called out with a smile. But it quickly turned to vague confusion as she took in the girl’s appearance and state. “Have you been...running? Are you alright? There’s not anyone chasing you, right?” Had the last of Celeste’s parents come? Or perhaps Layla’s? Already, she was reaching for one of her hidden knives, hypervigilance making her be safe rather than sorry. “What’s going on with you?”

It didn’t dawn on Ariana just how alarming her appearance was until she saw the confused look on Nell’s face. She looked bad. She’d been running with a backpack filled with stolen goods and she was growing more antsy with the other person inside her head. “No, no,” she explained as her voice still sounded winded, “No one’s chasing me. I just--- I may have a lot of stolen shit in my backpack due to the current thief living inside my head.” She gasped in a few deep breaths. Why she sprinted instead of running a comfortable pace, she didn’t know, but everything seemed to be piling on in a way that made her doubt her own sanity. “I should back up with that. I’ve had someone else’s thoughts in my head and I guess they’re like a klepto or something. I thought maybe you’d know what kind of magic could cause that… and maybe make them get the fuck out of my head.” 

The tension in Nell’s shoulders faded away as Ariana confirmed that she wasn’t being pursued, though it would take a moment longer for all the nerves that had gathered in her stomach to melt away entirely. It always took longer to rid herself of the alarm than it took for it to come on these days. Still...Nell’s confusion was palpable for a moment as Ariana explained. “Thief living in your head…” the witch echoed, trying to figure out why that sounded familiar. “Wait, have you been having dreams and stuff, too? Like weird ones? And sometimes you wake up from them with injuries?” Could this be what Morgan and Harsh had been talking about? Nell herself had experienced bits of it. Then as an afterthought- “...what did you steal?” she asked curiously, looking around at the backpack.

It became obvious that the stress was beginning to catch up to Ariana. She hadn’t meant to have such a freaked out reaction to stealing every shade of liquid lipstick she could get her paws on, but here she was, opening her backpack and showing Nell the assorted makeup and snacks currently residing in her backpack. She remembered from the one time she came over with Celeste and Ulfric that Nell loved Takis, so she handed her a bag. “Yep, definitely been having weird dreams. Apparently I’m not the only one. Are you having them, too,” she asked with a concerned look on her face. Her own panic quickly turned into worry for someone else. Though she did need to chill with the stealing. Werewolves and prison did not mix. Waking up bleeding was also not a good time either. “Yeah, thankfully startling awake before injuries can get too bad, but it’s freaky and I hate it.” She looked back up to Nell and asked, “Do you know what could cause something like this?” 

Nell’s eyebrows raised ever so slightly at Ariana’s haul, not exactly being a do-gooder herself, but this seemed like quite the steal. “Oh wow that’s...a lot.” Her gut reaction was to ask whether or not Ariana was alright, but the answer to that question was obviously ‘not quite.’ But she cooed a please “Ohhhh,” as Ariana offered the Takis, not hesitating for a moment to rip them open and dig in. There was no quicker way to Nell’s heart than Takis, and it seemed like the witch’s familiar refused to be left out as the Ovinikk, also named Taki, appeared, immediately beginning to meow insistently for the food. “Thanks! Do you want some, Ari?” Nell nodded in response to Ariana’s questions, trying to be the calm in the situation. At this point, there was little that surprised Nell when it came to White Crest and its fuckery. “But yeah, I’ve been having some. And I’ve heard of a few other people having them. The fact that it’s affecting so many people would mean that it’d have to be a lot of witches casting the spell if it was that sort of magic. And even then, it would be tricky. I’m not sure exactly what’s causing it but...I don’t expect it to be anything good.” She led the werewolf towards the couch, not liking the way she’d seemed distressed only a few moments ago. “Here, come on- sit down. You’re probably tired after coming all the way here. Are you thirsty?”

Ariana knew this looked bad. Given it was bad, but she didn’t want to totally freak Nell out. She still felt like she was buzzing, but she tried to visibly calm herself at least. It wasn’t as if Nell hadn’t had a lot going on lately, too. It seemed like everyone did these days, but she held out some hope that maybe Nell would know how to at least get Otto out of her head. It would hardly fix all of her problems, but at least he wouldn’t be able to find out any more about her or even worse, about the mess she’d gotten herself into with Lydia and Ace. She smiled weakly as Nell took the Takis and Taki came to join. “Yeah, I’ll take a few,” she said as she grabbed a handful from the bag. They were pretty solid as far as snack food went. She followed Nell in and took a seat on the couch. Her head was still spinning though she let herself relax a little bit. “Right, I hate that. I think I preferred the murder mimes,” she huffed as she leaned back into the couch, “I doubt it’s good and having someone in my head on top of everything else going on is driving me a little crazy.” Then there was the fact she had to keep her thoughts on Lydia guarded. “A drink would be good,” she answered. Once Nell returned with a drink for her, she asked, “So, do you at least know who is in your head?” 

Nell handed the drink to Ariana before settling on the couch next to her. Taki immediately jumped into her lap, rubbing his face against her hand in demand for some of the chips. He didn’t have to beg as Nell offered him one of the spicy tubes, and Taki chomped it down in a flash. Then she set the bag between her and Ariana, so that they might share. “You know...I never thought I’d say this, but I think I prefer murder mimes too. At least you can stab them and they die.” And they don’t know all your deepest, darkest secrets. “Is it ever good having someone else in your head?” But what else was driving Ariana crazy? Was it Celeste related things? “Are you...doing alright?” she tried her best to ask, realizing that maybe she should have checked in with Ariana more often. “But yeah, it’s some girl named Norma. She’s really weird, and tried to throw me under the bus in a dream witch trial. What about you? Do you know who you have? What do you know about them? Maybe if you need to, you can just leverage knowledge over them in return if it’s complicated.”

It was hard to not find the large cat enjoying Takis. Like witch, like cat? Was that a thing? While Ariana knew quite a few spellcasters, the whole world of magic was still a bit of a mystery to her. “It’s pretty cute that your kitty likes Takis, too,” she noted with a laugh. She sank further into the couch and longed for the days of murder mimes. At least Celeste had still been alive then, too. “Stab ‘em or eat ‘em-- both work. They taste like croissants and disappointment though. Mine turned into a freaking striped werewolf which-- rude.” Her head tilted a bit and she realized Nell made a good point. “True, it’s not ever good having someone else in there. Guess I just have things going on that require some degree of discretion.” She faltered a bit when Nell asked if she was alright. She’d never been a good liar and she supposed there was no need to lie to Nell. “Honestly, not really, but like I’m not in immediate danger or anything.” Ace was though. Her fight with Rio also still left her a bit reeling. “I think I have a way to make most things better, at least.” She vaguely remembered a Norma from Layla’s birthday party. “That is weird. A dream witch trial? That’s not fun. At this point, I don’t know, but they’re sketchy as fuck. Guess I can count on the fact we both probably have dirt on each other to not cause too much trouble.” She went over the thoughts that weren’t hers in her head. “Well-- definitely some sort of thief. They think about some chick named Nadia a lot. Apparently she looks hot on a motorbike. They’re a bit judgy-- apparently bell bottoms aren’t cool.” She looked to Nell still concerned. “Norma’s not giving you problems, right? I’d totally bite and fight someone a little for you.” 

Nell looked fondly towards Taki as Ariana mentioned him, feeding him another little chip. “I taught him well,” she joked lightly. The bond between her and the familiar was as strong as ever, and Nell found herself grateful for the millionth time in her life that the black Ovinikk had chosen to come through for her during the summoning ritual on her fifteenth birthday. “He’s also an Ovinikk so- he tends to like spicy things, too.” As if affirming the words, a small burp tickled the front to Taki’s mouth, a lick of flame spouting forth via the bodily function along with a small puff of soot. “You ate your’s?” Nell confirmed with a smidgen of amusement. Maybe some would say it was a strange form of auto-cannibalism, but there was something strangely funny about the concept to the witch. Then she sobered once more, looking over Ariana carefully. “You’d let me know if you needed help...right?” She didn’t want to be overbearing when it came to Ariana’s problems, but she also didn’t want to find the young wolf impaled on a silver sword one day. The mention of her nightmare only caused her stomach to turn over once again as she remembered the pile of bodies she’d killed, the ones wearing the faces of her friends. “Yeah, not really fun. But I’m glad you have something to hold over his head if he decides to fuck off with some of your dirt.” As for Nadia. “Oh, I know her. Luce hangs out with her a decent amount. And no she hasn’t really given me problems she’s just sort of...strange. Thank you for your fierce offerings in these trying times, though,” Nell finished on a lighter note.

The little huff of a flame that came out of Taki’s mouth when he burped was too adorable and Ariana cooed over him. “Oh my god, I’ve never heard of an Ovinikk before, but I’m convinced he’s the cutest one.” It was easier to focus on an adorable versus pondering her own problems which seemed to be an endlessly growing list at the point. All of it just made her miss Celeste that much more. Somehow, she always knew what to do. Or at least, she had always made it seem that way. Even when they were both still kids, she always had this composure about her that made everything feel like it was going to be okay. Without that guiding force, she felt all the more lost. At least she could laugh a bit at how she handled her mime. “Well, like not totally. It tasted like stale croissants, but it tried to kill me so fight or flight kicked in and I turned into a wolf. It also turned into a striped, silent wolf. Kinda had to go for the throat to not get killed and all. Dipped when my friend’s mime turned into a fucking bear though because no thank you.” Part of her felt guilty when Nell asked if she would tell her if she needed help. She knew handling the Lydia thing on her own wasn’t the smart idea, but she did have it handled. At least, she thought she did. “I would, yeah. I think I have most things to the point where I can work them out, but if it gets to be too much or I’ve bitten off more than I can chew, I’ll let you know. Winston kind of made me assure the same thing, too.” She hoped Nell would have an answer for the whole shared brain thing, but it seemed White Crest was just being… well, White Crest. “Well, glad yours isn’t too much trouble. I don’t think mine will be seeing as we’ve worked together a bit in the past. Didn’t realize he was in the business of relieving people of things they don’t need, but you know, whatever.” She shrugged even though it still stressed her out. He was asking about Lydia aka the last thing she needed anyone knowing about. 

Nell was pleased to see that Ariana seemed to have the same opinions as her when it came to Taki and his cuteness factor. Taki, meanwhile, had been uncertain about the werewolf before— but fickle and prideful beast that he was, he promptly rolled over and splayed his legs into the air in his cutest position, quite happy to be receiving the adoration he was certain he deserved. “You’re absolutely right,” Nell confirmed with her strong bias. “You should have downed some butter along with it,” she commented with a hint of humor. “Could have made it a whole snack. But fair enough to draw the line at wolf mimes.” But her light tone only went so far while she listened to Ariana’s insistence that she could handle it. Where had she heard something like that before? She thought hard for a long while before coming to the embarrassing conclusion that it had been from her own mouth, countless times throughout her life. “RIght- I’m not surprised Winston made you promise, too. They’re probably dealt with me enough to recognize another spicy salsa girl when they see one.” Then she carried on a little more seriously. “But seriously don’t hesitate to ask either of us if you need anything. And keep those glamours charged in case you need them.” As for the linked thoughts situation...Nell wished she could have provided something more helpful than a place to hide with stolen goods. “I’m sure it’ll all blow over. Everything always does in White Crest.” One way or another. “But obviously feel free to hang around until you think you can safely leave with a bag of stolen goods,” she teased lightly.

As Taki rolled over, Ariana found herself cooing and smiling over him. She loved when Luna would do the same pose, but she wasn’t sure how the not so little creature would feel about belly rubs. So she watched in adoration instead. She couldn’t help but laugh at the butter comment. “You know,” she said through giggles, “That actually would have made it better. Guess I’ll have to leave the mimes a Yelp review.” The mimes imitating her and wolves was still insulting. “Oh yeah, clear the hard line there. Werewolves aren’t supposed to be striped or silent.” It meant a lot that she found a community of her own. Maybe it wasn’t all wolves, but it was nice that Nell felt inclined to look out for her. The same went for Winston. She had plenty of support to get her through some of these crazy times, it was just hard to not feel entirely overwhelmed in this thick of things. “I appreciate the standing offer for help. With you, Winston, and the other wolves by my side, it’d take a really stupid person to mess with me.” She laughed slightly, “I guess just knows how us spicy short girls work. They’ve been very… I think great about covers it.” She glanced down at what used to be Celeste’s glamour on her right hand. It’d been a bit since she’d charged her own. “I’ll have to do that when I get home. I haven’t tried it in a while, but not looking like me could always come in handy.” The thought to use it to spy on Lydia again popped into her head, but she knew that was a terrible idea. She was sure this support system she built up wouldn’t want her being needlessly reckless. She relaxed a bit into the couch taking a handful of Takis. “Thanks, Nell,” she responded, “I feel a lot better, but if you’re down for a movie or something, we could do something actually fun.” As Nell went through the channels picking something to watch, she felt at ease for the first time since her thoughts had been hacked.

[skygirl5]

Just watched 4 Seasons of Lucifer in 2 weeks and I have thoughts!

If I’m being honest, I was hesitant to start another police procedural show because I thought it would remind me too much of Castle or just make me miss Castle, so I held out on Lucifer for awhile. I also was concerned about Lucifer specifically because in my mind why would I want to watch a show about the actual devil... well boy am I glad I gave it a shot.

Here’s the thing...the show itself did not really blow my mind. The police work, while clearly background, was sketchy at best sometimes. And some of the casework was kind of lame. And then of course there’s Chloe... BUT what did blow my mind was Lucifer himself. Honestly, the writing and character development for Lucifer is phenomenal. Its like the writers threw everything they had into that and sort of forgot about some other stuff...which is okay I suppose. But oh man I LOVE Lucifer as a character. He’s so layered and interesting.

I think what I like most about this show is that it in part treats biblical stories like the real soap operas they are, but it also makes you think about them completely differently - and I say this as a person who is not religious in the least. Case in point - I knew that Cain killed Abel, but I didn’t know they were Eve’s children until she said it in the show. oops haha. 

But i really love that you’re forced to see the Devil as not the master of evil, but someone who was unwillingly put into a position where he didn’t want to be (admittedly because of a poor/misguided choice he made) and he suffers for it. He also suffers with the image that has been painted of him, which as we learn is quite unfair. Lucifer is... a lot of things, but never really evil. At least not present day Lucifer...from the glimpses of how he was with Eve he may have started out a bit more in line with the stereotype.

I have to say seasons 1 & 2 were good but 3 lost me a bit because I really hated Pierce/Cain...Netflix did a great job with Season 4, though, and of course shows like that are always fun when everyone is “in” on the secret. Well not everyone but in this case Chloe was the most important person to be “in” and she was by that point. 

After watching everything I feel even more bummed that Chloe is so...blah. She has the ground works of being a good, interesting character, but somehow just comes across so cardboard-y. Maybe that is in part because Lucifer is just so dynamic he over shadows her, but the minor characters area all pretty strong - Maze, Amenadiel, Dr. Linda. I mean dont get me wrong - I need a ship and Deckerstar is definitely a pretty good one, but...it’s still slightly disappointing because Chloe could be better.

So in summary, I love Lucifer. I’m looking forward to starting Season 5 even though that means I’ll have to wait for more episodes. 

[hellshores]

switchblades and sinshots

chapter from my current wip, viva la vida - there are no spoilers:)

It had been late on a rainy night when Switch had gotten the assassination job, but then again, Switch only operated during the darkest hours.

Switch – always referred to as they, as their identity was so well-hidden that the people of the streets couldn’t even figure out whether the feared assassin was female, male, or neither – had been perched on the fire escape of a gambling den when it had happened. 

They’d been biding their time, waiting for nothing and no one, as they weren’t in the middle of a job and had nowhere else to go except for their shithole of a home. Depending on the job, a life as an assassin paid well, but it wasn’t nearly enough to live comfortably.

As Switch surveyed the dark street, slick from the rainfall, they wondered just how the hell they’d gotten to this point, how the hell they’d become someone like this – a question the assassin often found themselves contemplating. Falling sins, even their very street name came from their weapon of choice: a switchblade, small but fast, unassuming yet deadly.

The last thing you’ll see is the glint of their switchblade, the people of the streets liked to whisper. In a strange, twisted sort of way, they loved the notorious assassin: most things in this side of the city – nicknamed Hellshore, as it was right along the ocean that divided Tenebra and Lumen – were gambled for, so it was no surprise that many people had placed countless bets on Switch’s identity.

In fact, there was one occasion when a particularly talented and sneaky – or, more likely, desperate and stupid – individual became dangerously close to finding out. It was really rather unfortunate that the night had ended with the dreaded switchblade of the very person the idiot was trying to identify buried in his gut.

But what was done was done. Switch couldn’t shed their reputation as an assassin any more than Argent and Mech, the other two faceless, notorious figures of Concordia, could.

Argent, Switch, and Mech. The infamous three names that everyone both feared and respected, the Unholy Trinity, as the people of Hellshore liked to call them, the rulers of the streets – until, of course, another piece had entered the board: Deadfall, possibly the most dangerous, mysterious of them all. No one knew who he was or what his intentions were, not even Argent, the thief of secrets. He seemed to be utterly untouchable; as far as Switch knew, no one had ever made direct contact with him. The only thing Switch was aware of was that, while it seemed as though Deadfall had been on the streets since the beginning of time, he’d only materialized shortly after the fall of King Drystan Alastor.

Many assumed all four dangerous, unidentified figures worked together, or that the Unholy Trinity worked under Deadfall himself – but in truth, they all worked for no one but themselves, and they rarely interacted; on the contrary, they had an unspoken, mutual agreement: Don’t interfere with my dealings, I won’t interfere with yours.

Though it seemed as if Switch had been having a severe lack of jobs to be interfered with recently. Of course, one might consider that a good thing, as less people were being killed – but as their only source of income, Switch didn’t find this a positive, especially because the targets they were tasked to assassinate were usually the sewer-rat-type sinshots who more likely than not deserved to die.

Before Switch could sink further into their rather ironic self-pity, the faintest noise reached the assassin’s ears: a nearly imperceptible flick, like a card being flipped in the air. Holding their breath, Switch waited until they were completely sure the person was gone before slowly leaning over to see where the sound had come from.

Sure enough, a playing card lay on the ground, rainwater soaking it through.

Quickly and soundlessly, Switch leapt from the fire escape and landed lightly on the street, the puddles under the assassin’s feet barely rippling as they leaned down to swipe the card. There was writing on the back, part of it smudged unintelligibly thanks to the rain, and Switch melted back into the shadows of the gambling den’s dirty alleyway to try and decipher the smeared words.

 I have a job for y willing to pay a price you can’t turn

To meet me, follow the ca

 Stifling an irritated sigh, Switch tilted the card, trying to figure out what the missing letters were.

 I have a job for y . . . ou, and I’m willing to pay a price you can’t turn . . . down.

To meet me, follow the . . . cat. . . . cart. . . . call. . . .

 The first two lines were safe bets, but the last one was questionable – until a group of obnoxiously loud men barreled out the door from the gambling den, drunkenly shouting something about heading over to the club on the next block over, and it finally clicked in Switch’s mind:

 To meet me, follow the card.

 Switch flipped the playing card over. The fifth of clubs – the club on Fifth street. Absurdly obvious now that they understood. Oh, how so gods-damned clever of you.

The rain dripped off the water resistant material of Switch’s dark hood as they leapt back up onto the fire escape, quickly climbing up to the roof. Of course, they could have taken the route through the narrow alleyways, but the rooftop made a far better vantage point – and anyway, the assassin could use the adrenaline rush.

The buildings of Hellshore were tightly packed together, making it all too easy to jump from one to another. Switch enjoyed the rush of the wind as they flew from roof to roof, each landing light and silent, each leap smooth and graceful.

If the assassin had any sort of favorite pastime, this would be it.

Almost too soon, Switch had reached Fifth Street, a busy main road with people and carts hurriedly rushing in every direction. From Switch’s viewpoint, they all closely resembled a colony of panicking ants, scurrying around with no real place to go – open, vulnerable, all-too-easy prey.

But you’re not here to hunt them, Switch reminded themselves, quickly locating a drainpipe to slide down. There was only one club on Fifth – the notorious Nightshade institution, known for its sketchy dealings and, according to the rumors, the best drinks in all of Tenebra. And since everyone in Hellshore ultimately ran on alcohol alone, Nightshade was always packed, any and every time of the day.

Switch made it to the club, considered entering through the door, and then deigned to go through the club’s large vent system – not to be unnecessarily complicated, but because the assassin didn’t have the time nor motivation to battle the crowds and whispers.

And yes, fine, going through the vent system was also undeniably fun.

Switch located the opening to the vent and was just about to pry it open when a faint whisper reached their ears.

“Assassin.”

Switch was already standing, that infamous switchblade in their hand, glinting dully in the weakly flickering street lights.

“Come out slowly with your hands up,” Switch said, their voice disguised by a special microphone in their hood. “If you so much as flash a weapon, I will not hesitate to kill you.”

The phrase was usually enough to subdue anyone who dared hire the dangerous assassin, but whoever had led Switch here only gave a dark, quiet laugh. “You won’t kill me,” they said. “I have a price you can’t refuse – and from what I hear, Switch, you never turn away a good price.”

By the sound of their smooth baritone, Switch assumed the unknown figure was male – though they could have been using a voice-changing microphone as well, so there was no way to be sure.

“Show me your face, and then we’ll talk,” Switch replied, an unfamiliar sense of uneasiness beginning to press in. No one had ever been able to stay unseen from the assassin for this long; the fact that they were accomplishing so was enough to set Switch on edge.

“You say that while still keeping your own identity hidden,” the unknown person remarked, sounding faintly amused. “That hardly seems fair, now, does it?”

Falling sins. It took quite some nerve to provoke the Switchblade Assassin – if Switch could have even just seen this mysterious potential hirer, the bastard would’ve been dead long ago. But they couldn’t even sense the other person, couldn’t even hear a whisper of their breath, something that rarely – indeed, never – happened.

Switch’s teeth gritted together. After a long moment of silence, they finally said, “Just tell me what the bloody job is, sinshot.”

Though the assassin couldn’t see it, they could sense the other person’s humorless smile. “I knew you would come through for me.”

“I swear to all the gods, I will carve out your ass and leave it on the street to rot,” Switch snapped. “You have thirty seconds to tell me the job, or we’re done.”

“You truly do drive a hard bargain,” the other person deadpanned. After a pause, they said almost too simply, “Assassinate Prince Laurent Aldrich.”

For a moment, Switch was entirely caught off guard – and Switch was never caught off guard.

Finally, the assassin said, “That’s the job?”

“That’s the job.”

“Falling sins and saints, you’re a blasting idiot.” Switch turned to leave. “I’m out. Find some other lucky sinshot to pine after.”

“Ah, but there’s more to it than I’ve told you,” the other person said. “Unfortunately, I cannot detail the rest unless you accept – and remember, I’m offering you a price you can’t turn down.”

“No amount of coins will make this worth it. It’s impossible, risky to the point of idiocy.”

“Then I suppose it’s a good thing I’m not offering coins.”

Switch laughed in disbelief. “Then what is this un-turn-downable price you claim you can give me?”

There was another pause. “I can give you the identities of both Argent and Mech.”

Again, Switch was thrown.

For a moment, it sounded unbelievably tempting – but reason finally caught up with the assassin, and they shook their head. “Hardly worth it. It makes it easier for us to operate unknown and unnamed – and anyway, why the hell should I trust that you even know?”

“Because,” the sinshot answered, “I know your identity as well.”

Switch shook their head again. “You’re full of shit, sinshot. We’re done here.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t walk away quite yet,” the other person said, and though their voice remained pleasantly indifferent, Switch could hear the veiled threat behind the words. “The impossibility of your situation hasn’t yet clicked, has it?” There was a pause where Switch imagined the sinshot leaning forward, as if coming in to share a secret. “If you don’t do this job, Switchblade Assassin, I will tell both Argent and Mech who you are – and once the thief of secrets knows, no one can predict where that juicy little tidbit of information will spread.”

For a moment, Switch was frozen. Falling gods-damned sins and saints. Now that this unknown figure had pointed it out, the assassin finally understood too late the amount of saintshit they were in. Even if this bastard was making it up, there was that slightest chance they weren’t – which meant Switch’s entire life was hanging precariously in the balance.

Was it worth taking that risk?

“If you’re really telling the truth,” Switch finally said, “you can tell me either Argent’s or Mech’s identity now.”

“Oh, I could,” the sinshot replied. “But if you decide to back out of the job at the last second, I will have traded the name for nothing.”

“So you want to pay me after I kill the gods-damned golden prince of Lumen – and if I don’t, you’ll tell all of Concordia my identity.”

“Again, there’s more to it than that – but ultimately, yes.”

Switch very much wanted to stab something – preferably whoever the hell they were talking to. “You could be a lying bastard for all I know.”

“I could,” the sinshot said, “but do you want to wait and find out, knowing there’s a minute chance I’m not?”

The assassin silently cursed themselves – they were well and thoroughly trapped. “At least tell me how you know my identity.”

“I have connections.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“That’s the only answer you’re going to get.”

Switch shook their head in incredulity. “At least show me your blasting face.”

“That’s something I simply cannot afford.”

Oh, Switch very, very much wanted to stab them. “Give me your name, then, sinshot, because I don’t deal with people I don’t know.”

The mysterious hirer gave a dry laugh. “Well, since you asked so gods-damned politely,” they replied, and then paused for a long time – not for dramatic effect, but as if they were slowly, carefully thinking of how to respond.

Finally, they said, “Call me Deadfall.”

[scaryscarecrows]

Bat-recs

Y’know, for fun! Add your favorites; we were all new to this hell at some point, maybe this could be useful for someone.

Batman: Gothic

This was actually the second one I bought; it came across my table when I volunteered at a used library books organization. Two bucks. Immortal murderer? Haunted underwater monastery? Generally freaky? Sign me up! NOT RECOMMENDED FOR THE WEE BABES, we got child murder, mentions of sexual assaults, and a literal head in the trash can. Poor Bruce. This story put him through the absolute wringer and I want to hug him.

The Cult

Also freaky! Bane says he broke Batman. Bane broke Batman a few years LATER; Blackfire...jeeze, man. (So far, two for two on the whole ‘immortal evil religious figure’. Hm.) Psychological horror out to HERE, and there’s a couple of pages that just WORK so WELL, when Robin!Jason finally finds poor Bruce. Also not for children, here there be a lotta bodies. And rats. And Bruce being...uh...well, we don’t need to talk about that now.

Scarecrow Year One

MY FIRST AND FAVORITE. (Ahh, evil religious individual! But not immortal this time.) Jonathan Crane’s backstory-one of them-with bonus Batdad content. Sean Murphy's sketchy artwork works really, really well for, well, Scarecrow, and Baby Crane is a little cutie. Protect him at all costs. Eh, if you or your kid’s a frightened type, the swarms of attacking crows might be a bit much, but there’s no corpse-stacks or child murder this time.

Li’l Gotham

Tired of everything hurting? Say no more. Tooth-rotting fluff is HERE. Batfamily getting along. Damian loves his mom and she loves him back and I am HAPPY ABOUT IT. This is what you’d think DC is like all the time, based on fic. Worth having for when they inevitably ruin something else. The same team has since done Once Upon a Crime, which is also precious.

White Knight

Did I see ‘Sean Murphy’ and smash the preorder? Yeah. Do I decree that this Ivy design is the best Ivy? Yeah. Elseworlds/Black Label, so he’s free to deconstruct Batman...and Batman’s proclivity for destroying Gotham in the pursuit of one asshole. (I feel a little called out, given my driving in Arkham Knight.) Has a sequel, and I’m waiting for the TP, but I’m sure I’ll love it just the same. Harley’s looking good here, guys; she is taking no shit AND she’s not being treated as a bimbo. She has brains and she’s not afraid to use them! Eh, mild nudity and violence, but barring Jason Todd’s standard woes, I’d rate it about the same as SYO in terms of ‘will this traumatize my kid?’

Under the Red Hood

1) No kids. There’s a bag o’ severed heads lovingly detailed like, five pages in. Red Hood ain’t Batman, a fact that he would like to make very clear.

2) THE SASS. THE SAAAAAAASS. EVERYBODY IS A SNARKY BASTARD AND I LOVE IT ALL. Well, almost all. I will grant that the animated film fixed my one big grievance with the ending. :) Seriously, though, ‘oh, my goodness gracious! I’ve been bamboozled!’ is golden and I’m WAITING for that line to make it to screen. Don’t be cowards, DC.

Haunted Knight

Everyone’s gonna rec The Long Halloween, as well they ought, but Haunted Knight-same team-is also great. Scarecrow’s design is...I’m torn between loving it and wanting to yeet it into the sun, but it works for him. This is a short story collection featuring Mad Hatter, Scarecrow, and and a Bat-ified Christmas Carol.

Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth

OKAY. This is sort of like The Long Halloween in that it’s frequently considered ‘required reading’, but I do legitimately enjoy it; it’s very, very, creepy. THIS is where the Arkham Asylum game takes a lot of its inspiration; the Rogues do not go to Batman. He goes to them. This also establishes Arkham’s history. I will say that you should pick up a newer edition with the annotated script included (most of them have it now) because there’s a LOT of symbolism in the art that you might miss, and knowing it really adds to the experience. I’d totally teach this in a psych class, though. Or an English class. It’s great. Bonus for everybody having their own style of dialogue: Joker does not have speech bubbles, for instance, Bruce is  black and white. Really gives you an idea of how they talk. It’s also nice that most of the Gallery gets some page time, even if they don’t talk; Scarecrow, for instance, has no dialogue, but he doesn’t need it. His presence is enough. Hard R-rating for scary images and implied childhood sexual abuse.

The Animated Series

Yup. Start here. START. HERE. Every major rogue (and several obscure ones) gets an episode in the limelight, Bruce is at his absolute best-that perfect combo of ‘gettin’ real tired of your shit, Villain of the Week’ and the compassion that’s gone missing lately-Harley looks great (and, y’know, LIKE A HARLEQUIN), and although it is kid-friendly, it doesn’t treat the viewer like a kid, so you can enjoy it as an adult. (You’re a lying liar who lies if Baby Doll’s episodes didn’t make you teary-eyed. It’s okay. There’s no shame to be had.) Bonus: Dick Grayson is a little ray of sunshine compared to Batman, but that’s not all he is and the writers remembered that. :) And, well...

Iconic.

The Arkham Series

These are almost the animated series for a more mature audience (complete with a lot of the same voice casting!); murder is now allowed to be confirmed. If you’re intimidated by the comics, this is also a good place to start. Again, all the major rogues and a few lesser-knowns get some time to shine, the characterization is working (Bruce is not here for Joker’s shit, but he can still take a minute to calm down a panicking guard), and yeah, I love the designs.

Look at my baby. THAT is legitimately frightening. 10/10, would run from again. Bonus: not only do we get Alfred, we get three whole Robins AND Oracle. That said, while the games give you PLENTY of options to go ‘I’m Batman’, Bruce takes almost none of them, so you have to do it. You gotta. It’s the law.

EDITED TO INCLUDE

Gotham County Line

Batman deals with the psychological guilt of not being able to save everyone, and there are...zombies. Sort of. Amazingly, Scarecrow is nowhere to be seen, yet Bruce does admit, straight-up, ‘I’m afraid’. Me too, Bruce. Me, too. 

10/10 for creep factor here. I went into this unaware it was possible to be scared of Alfred. It is. It is possible. I am a changed woman now. Nothing really...comes of it...but I swear, I turned the page, and this was waiting for me:

Mommy...

Also unsettling; the hanged man in general. A+ unsettling artwork, I’m sure that guy will haunt me. Added bonus: Zombie Robin Jason popping in to save Bruce’s bacon, because he is a good boy, and Zombie Waynes being proud parents. I did not expect the Feels Crowbar...but it was a nice surprise.

[twiddlebirdlet]

Inbox Collective Part II

hagarsays said: I don’t believe that cause if Chris liked something we would have gotten a notification saying Chris Evans likes....... also people and photoshop shit

Anonymous said: well one thing's for sure this pr seems to be hitting, it has been posted everywhere and all comments are positive from what I reading , people like him obv and they love lily and no one is suspicious , the only criticism I'm finding is with fans because of the Corona thing (rightfully so), the general public doesn't seem to notice it, i think it's because the picture seem cozy and don't not flashy unlike sebastian

Anonymous said: I also don’t understand how ppl can’t hold their fave accountable like that doesn’t make you or your fav a bad person. Everyone makes mistakes, calling them out helps them realize they were in the wrong and hopefully allows them to grow to be a better person

Anonymous said: The like and unlike of the tweet coupled with these new pics of him looking at the camera is just so shady to me. Its not as if he’s had any bad press at the minute or really has anything to sell, so what does he actually have to gain from pulling a stunt like this at almost 40 years old? Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb.

Anonymous said: Is he still in London to be practicing lines with her

Anonymous said: I find it hard to believe he liked that tweet cause people can fake something like that all the time and you would have gotten a notification saying Chris Evans like something I didn’t get anything I just got a RT notification

Anonymous said: Don't know if I'm reaching here but Jenn Streicher sometimes used to do lily's make up but the last time I can find is 2016 so I don't know if she could of introduced them

Anonymous said: Chris’s Great Maskless Papwalk Stunt Adventure! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Oh, Twid, you kill me!

Anonymous said: Seb took the pressure off of Chris cause he been seen with his GF without a mask and they are out in the open😂

Anonymous said: I’ve been seeing some people say he did this for a personal trip and they are dating. The paps were there coming out. What do you think about this?

Anonymous said: I know you won't agree with me but I think they are serious and talked before. I am not saying she's is soulmate but it's gonna last.

Anonymous said: So pretty much every article is running with the hot new couple?? take. And no denial from either side. I guess they're playing this game through? Just curious what you think, if the goal was to get buzz around their names, but they're not actually doing the dating thing, when would you think a denial would come?

Anonymous said: So idk who situation is way worse Seb or Chris cause Seb is out and about with his GF and they aren’t wearing a mask while Chris was with lily and no mask but it was at night so what you think

Anonymous said: Okay out there theory. Maybe CDAN was right it could of just been dinner and explains the very little romantic information we're receiving. I know in previous interviews the avengers cast has gone to dinner together out and about with little pictures. I think he's even just gone with Scarlett we just never got any photos. Thank God. And as sketchy as it seems I've been at friends house way later than 1 am and literally played games/talked. This could possibly be a set up or exactly what it looks

hagarsays submitted: I’m other news SEBASTIAN WHERE IS YOUR MASK 😷 https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Ftwitter.com%2Fthesebnews%2Fstatus%2F1280541447570194432%3Fs%3D21&t=OWNjN2E2OTY3ZWNmODBhNDI3ZGJmODQ3MDRmY2YwYzM2Y2QxMWY1NSxjMmVmNzY5YmZjNWMzODIyNDY1ZDVmNDYyY2M2ZjcwMmE3YTNhYTAw Twitter

Anonymous said: Hello. I'm new to Chris Evan's blogs or fansite so this question might sound ridiculous. But why am I seeing so many people suggesting he or his team have staged things, especially with women, for the paps? I guess he never seemed like the type to me so it's all surprising. Also, in the photos with Lily he didn't seem aware of the cameras. However, she seemed very aware as she was looking dead at the photographer. She didn't seem to be trying to avoid it Thanks in advance for any answers

hagarsays said: Some people who where fans are leaving the fandom over what happen like that a really stupid reason they are acting like he did some bad that he can get arrested😂😂 like clam down people it’s not that crazy

Anonymous said: I personally think this was a hookup or a PR stunt. Even if they did get together in the hotel, I don’t think Chris would intentionally be this careless to let the paps see. Either way, good for them. If it’s an actual relationship, I’m happy for him. I just don’t see how it would work rn under these circumstances and them living in two different countries. Also, people are still going on about the condom. Like, who cares. At least he’s being safe if it was 🙄

Anonymous said: lily is so smart, first she calls the paparazzi to photograph her going to a hotel where she is staying and then the paparazzi catches her with chris, she is very committed to disconnecting from her ex

Anonymous said: Do you think he’s still in London or back in MA?

Anonymous said: Just Jared posted another article mentioning an old interview where Chris talks about dating actresses because of life shared experience. Considering that JJ is really celeb friendly, I wonder if this has to do with his team or if it's just a slow news day.

Anonymous said: Just Jared posted another article mentioning an old interview where Chris talks about dating actresses because of life shared experience. Considering that JJ is really celeb friendly, I wonder if this has to do with his team or if it's just a slow news day.

Anonymous said: ASP launch reschedules in 3..2..1

Anonymous said: It's funny how many people now are desperately trying to prove that Lily and Chris didn't sleep together because they believe he's with a certain engaged actress instead. Like Chris voluntarily left the event with Lily, got into a cab with her, and they went to the same hotel, but gosh, he had no idea this was going to happen and he is just shocked! They're trying to make it seem like Chris was utterly clueless and Lily was the bad guy in all this so they can still believe he's true to the tree.

Anonymous said: Chris just tweeted and deleted again. That is twice in 24 hours. I really need that gif where he says I am not angry just disappointed to be inserted here.

Anonymous said: Hopefully these "mask manips" will make their way back to "The Maskless Boy Blunder" like Scott & Yvette Nicole Brown was so eager to bring those acylics & bonnets manips to his attn…😒

Anonymous said: You are killing it, Mod. Case in point: “The Great Maskless Papwalk Stunt Adventure” moniker and the reminder of Chris’ penchant for overly melodramatic 90’s films. You are the best. Please insert appropriate self-congratulatory gif here.

Anonymous said: Someone left a comment under asp instagram post that Chris didn’t wear a mask and now that post gone.

Anonymous said: Did you read Lainey Gossip's article? She actually thinks Chris self quarantined for 2 weeks after arriving in the UK. Oh lord 🤦🏽‍♀️. He literally got there last week, and is probably out of there by now.

Anonymous said: What he tweeted and deleted?

Anonymous said: Ya what’s a little weird. I went on US weekly to look at that article and it was not on a top headline where news from yesterday was still on there. And it’s hard to find. Even US Weekly was like ya we aren’t getting paid for this nonsense. Haha.

Anonymous said: A starting point just deleted tweet and ig post. Yesterday Chris deleted his retweet. Very interesting 🤔

Anonymous said: ASP instagram just deleted post. WTF happening. Too much bad comments?

Anonymous said: Bets on Chris retweet new ASP tweet or not?

hagarsays submitted: ASP was 3 years in the making didn’t he just started interviewing politicians in 2019? https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Ftwitter.com%2Fasp%2Fstatus%2F1280502252319449089%3Fs%3D21&t=YmEyZmYxMzMzYTkxMDNkMzdlNTdkMjFlZWQwZWNkOWFlM2Q3NDZjYixmM2VmZGE1NzhhNGYzZThmNjI1ZWNhYmYzOWEzODRlMWU0ZGRkZTI2 Twitter

Anonymous said: Her hotel is closer to the club they were in and nicer too. Why did she go to his and walk through the back while he took the closer door like i love lily she can do better. I read he did the same thing to Jenny even after they went public like i wonder how he even brings it up

Anonymous said: Do you really think he was there for work? Idk why I find that so hard to believe. Apart of me thinks he literally flew to meet her and had it papped. What are your thoughts? The flight isn’t that long from Boston.

Anonymous said: Is this definitely a pr stunt? Could it not be the start of a new relationship between him and Lilly whilst acknowledging it’s crap timing without a mask etc

Anonymous said: people know say that him was holding a condom he must be embarrassed now

Anonymous said: Flying across the sea during a pandemic, not wearing a mask, was wrong. But Chris is in love, again. He's been following her IG for quite a while now and their mutual friends (Powley and Cooper) probably introduced them via Skype, Zoom, whatever. It's been 2 years now, so he's more than ready for another affair. This will get really interesting once they start flying back and forth to be together. Should be fun watching this one - Chris finally has himself a Disney princess!

hagarsays said: Also I just realize this if they wanted to milk this PR stunt even more they would have made another plan where they meet up somewhere and look like they are having fun. I honestly think and I could be wrong this was a one time PR stunt cause as of now I haven’t see any fan pictures of Chris and fans from London know where he staying so that’s why I think he back home or maybe yet hiding 😂

Anonymous said: I'm the anon who mentioned that some relatives got sick during a barbecue. I wanted to thank you for your answer and say that today, my cousin told us that my aunt will be released from the hospital. The staff was sweet and sent pics and a video for my cousin.She stayed there almost 2 months.I couldn't recognize her. She is really weak and could barely speak at the video. She has a long road to fully recovery.Take this virus seriously guys.My aunt is young and had no health problems before this.

Anonymous said: Lmao if the anon is talking about those actors not doing pap walks, a lot of them have, esp when there was some controversy. And Tom Hanks had a whole affair with Rita Wilson. Like, some of ya'll are projecting.

Anonymous said: Literally in a crowded park? The group looks like they socially distanced and kept to themselves so let's not overstate things. People have been spending time at parks and not wearing masks since it's outside. Making assumptions on any "candids" doesn't work since you just see a fraction of what happened. Especially if we're assuming PR.

Anonymous said: I wonder if we will get a Dodger pic or a pap walk wearing a mask. Does anyone know how twitter reacted? I don't have an acct there, so I don't know.

Anonymous said: Do you think that Chris and Lily’s PR stunt really increases his chances of getting the Emmy nod? Cause although it might get his name in the media, idk if it’s a good look for his image or ASP. Plus, if he wants to be taken seriously as an actor and not be seen as just Captain America, idk if engaging in a fake relationship and traveling abroad to club without a mask will get the Emmy voters on his side.

Anonymous said: Not going to lie this whole situation has made me lose a little bit of respect for Chris. Also just seen pictures Johnny Depp in London and he is wearing a mask and think he came from US.

Anonymous said: I am Dumbfounded! Why is everyone still Surprised at Chris Evans Behavior? It is expected that he will do more stupid things than good. One step forward, two steps back. Oh! Make it three!! LoL and what is the basis of Emmy's for a nomination? By Being more popular and who have more exposure in press and media? Isn't supposed to be who have a better acting and who is a more talended actor? Which Chris Evans is Lacking? Sorry not sorry but he is mediocre at best. He needs Acting Workshops badly.

Anonymous said: I’m assuming Chris is back in MA about his deleted retweet. But that would mean he was in the UK for 3-4 days. He was also styled for an event (he never dresses that nice). I don’t buy into lily breaking up with her BF and then quarantining with him for 3 months. I think they are still together but it’s a bad look for her to just get back with him if he cheated. So her team makes her look desirable and having fun and then her and Matt will “rekindle” their romance (1/2) With her not even being papped in the hotel that makes me think nothing happened and it was a setup. Usually Chris’ team puts out an article for relationships. Which didn’t happen with (this) lily. I bet their will be announcement about her being in a project with him soon (maybe LSOH). And she will be papped with Matt. Chris is so private that i doubt that he would start doing this now. There’s too many places he could have been papped in the UK but wasn’t. Just my take🤷‍♀️. (2/2)

Anonymous said: “Sometimes what Chris says doesn’t always line up with what he does. Today is another example.” What do you mean?

Anonymous said: The club checks your temperatures at the door and it was reopening night. They have rules for people who can come there because of this pandemic. Why and who he was with? I don’t care but I hate that people are making it seem like he was in some nasty club with glow-sticks dancing to old rap music & ringing in the New Years then took a girl back just to fuck her. How ridiculous and presumptuous of people. Chris has his faults but he’s not a complete idiot.

Anonymous said: Did you see the IG post from justheretoruinlives literally it zooms in on what they portray as a condom. Lololol

Anonymous said: girl i think like you !! I see many say they already had sex just for being at the hotel at 1am? but we only know that she supposedly entered the hotel through another door? but in the photos she is not inside !! Also, don't we really know if it was that hour or not? DM is never as reliable as the medium! I also think PR but I want to think that this was more of her! We can only hope what Chris's team says about this!!!

Anonymous said: Chris is just blegh the past couple of months. ASP for starters. He’s going to get torn to shreds for it and rightfully so. No doubt he’ll slowly stop acknowledging its existence and cut the partnership in a few months. His quarantine interviews.. dude get some new one liners. Saying the same thing always. Trying to use big words so he sounds smart. He sounds pretentious and annoying. Then ignoring Rudd to scroll on his phone and constantly cutting him off.. BOO!!! I’m over his hypocritical bs!

Anonymous said: I’m trying to figure out why Chris would partake in this kind of PR stunt right now, though. It’s SUCH a bad time for that... what would be the purpose for it?? Not trying to be combative, I’m just truly baffled by it. Like, why??

Anonymous said: I didn't even watch his last interview I'm disgusted he's acting even younger than me and I'm mid twenties. This took attention away from all the semi-good things he's doing. I don't think most people are paying attention anymore. Megan is going to have to sadly clean this up if she didn't have a hand in this.

Anonymous said: Nobody has memory of anything serious he's doing anymore lol. Defending Ryan right? Sorry never heard of her. He reduced himself to tabloid fodder and it's disgusting.

Anonymous said: He’s been working PR for the past 8 months. He mad his insta in December, made it public in April (around the time of DJ a similar strategy they did for Jen A.), had a single but dating article in Jan. Has been doing nonstop press since April/May. Mentions LSOH in the last couple interviews. Follows Lily (June) and is now papped with her. Well played Chris, well played

Anonymous said: So does the timing of his tweet indicate he is back stateside? I noticed he followed someone last night (DJ costume designer) when it would have been the middle of the night or very early in the UK. He's probably back home.

Anonymous said: Sounds like she playing cat and mouse with her ex. Buying decorations one month then getting papped the next with someone new. Not saying it isn't possible to move that fast. But....if ex came a knocking she would probably ditch this pr blunder.

Anonymous said: As much as we tried to deny it, we knew Chris could be messy. I’m REALLY disappointed that Gemma Chan was with Lily on her maskless park romp the other day. I’m a big fan of hers and thought she was smarter than that, especially since she’s said a lot supporting frontline healthcare workers through this whole time. Really over this selfish behavior from everyone, both celebs and normal people. It’s just making this longer and harder for all of us.

Anonymous said: The thing is: Chris says he wants sth, but I doubt that even Chris knows what he truly wants. That's okay! A lot of people don't know what they want. What really bothers me is that he keeps selling the same narrative over and over again (cuz he knows we will buy them) and then do sth that suggest the opposite of what he states. C'mon man, be yourself and don't give a damn to people's opinions. It's better than contradicting yourself. Sorry if that doesn't make sense

Anonymous said: Mark Ruffalo is a national treasure. Take notes, Chris. You could learn a thing or two.

Anonymous said: Must be nice for him that he’s in a position where he COULD get a Covid test on demand if he wanted one (and I’m SURE he could). Even in my state, which is doing worlds better than other states, we have a testing bottleneck and also concern about supplies. People who are sick are having to wait. Healthcare pros and teachers and essential workers are having trouble me getting tested. I know I shouldn’t get so upset about him but it’s just really disappointing.

Anonymous said: Also if he knew he was gonna be papped why didn't he wear a mask. I think a case might be made for that as well. When he moved Scott no mask. Assuming most people wouldn't even notice probably and only one did. LA protest his most likely chance of being photographed, he had a mask. Even posted on his story. I'm just grasping at straws🤔

Anonymous said: She have an article on DailyMail every single week. So angry about this dumb decision to play a pr couple. I had a better opinion about Chris.

Anonymous said: Well if the artwork thing is true I can definitely see this being pr and her having no actual interest in him. But no pr can explain away why he endangered himself and others. I hope scott tore into him.

Anonymous said: I thought it was PR 101 to like not be in a PR relationship with a girl who calls the paps, and was rumored to be doing drugs in a park a few days ago. I feel like he has a better pool to choose from to be taken seriously

Anonymous said: Change of subject/pace: I wonder why Halle Berry thought she was going to do what they VERY PUBLICLY shut down Johansson from attempting not to long ago: play a transgender in a movie. If Berry wasn't paying attn then, surely her team was?? And now with JKRowling v Everybody... Maybe Berry thought her "historic" Oscar-win would protect/excuse her…???

Anonymous said: cya Chris! > I’ve watched all his interviews and imo he doesn’t come off as cocky but that’s just how I see him. I still think he’s a good person that needs to get his shit together. I hope everyone is staying safe

Anonymous said: I don’t watch his interviews. Can the other anon elaborate on how he came across as self-absorbed, cocky, hypocritical and dumb? I believe you, I just don’t want to do the work myself

Anonymous said: I had a weird feeling when him and Scott starting following her as well. Maybe it was because she was weirdly being papped a lot at the time where I would be like why is this girl getting papped

Anonymous said: The girl that was with Sebastian posted a pic of then two togheter on jet sky one day before the pap pics

Anonymous said: The thing that those pictures from Saturday but posted on Monday morning US time speaking it self. But I think this was planned from both sides. Lily could approved way earlier. I can’t wait for their next walk of shame pictures.

hagarsays said: Also his fans even said they have no problem with lily James and him being seen together it that he didn’t wear a mask is the problem but also they all moved on cause it’s so unnecessary to go back and for with pictures that’s where taken on Saturday

Anonymous said: Not to be that person...but lily was seen in a park with Gemma Chan, Billie piper, Dominic cooper - All not wearing masks. Her and Chris were at mark club which is a private members only place with a dress code and social distancing rules - no mask reg (check the site). The doorman wasn’t wearing a mask either. The UK seems weird with rules and while I don’t like it - I am not surprised. They DRESSED up but didn’t need masks. What’s wrong with this picture?

hagarsays said: I agree can we all move on cause we are all going on circles at this point and it’s making us all go crazy for no reason. So if there another major information between them you would know also if there a statement we would know too but as of now there isn’t

Anonymous said: Entertainment tonight, people and us weekly have reached out to there team for a comment do you think they will get an answer

hagarsays said: If I’m right he started following once he got his insta cause I had to look at something and her name was part of the 70 total following but now he follow 3 more people

Anonymous said: Chris does not even follow the director or any producers of LSOH on Instagram so I would not assume his following Lily is automatically related to the movie.

Anonymous said: Have you seen the knives out page? They blocked the ana de armas update page. Hilarious break if you need one.

Anonymous said: I think like you. I think mainly chris is there for work !! Maybe it's already gone or is it still there? in my opinion I think it was more PR of her than chris !! when chris has done a type of PR that involves that he spent the night with a girl? why many think that already !! maybe the hotel part was part of it? why is chris seen entering the hotel quickly?

Anonymous said: Asian Tree gal pal is Scarlett. She didn't have on her unique engagement ring in one of the grocery store pap sets (she's had it on in subsequent sightings) that might've given her away, and when dressed down with her hair pulled back she's no "Black Widow," and still managed to get ID'ed, so NOPE, no excuse for Evans to not have on a mask or one in view.

Anonymous said: And if he "forgot" his mask, I'm prettttty sure the luxury hotel or exclusive restaurant would've arranged to get/lend him one. Buuuuuut then we wouldn't have 50+ "candids" at different locales, angles, and postions, now would we...? 📷📷📷

Anonymous said: Asian Tree gal pal is Scarlett. She didn't have on her unique engagement ring in one of the grocery store pap sets (she's had it on in subsequent sightings) that might've given her away, and when dressed down with her hair pulled back she's no "Black Widow," and still managed to get ID'ed, so now excuse for Evans to not have on a mask or one in view.

Anonymous said: My opinion is she called the Pap but the plan went to the left with the back door. This is not coming from Chris he wouldn’t leave anyone sees him with out a mask in this pandemic. Even if it was just for the Pap walk

Anonymous said: I live in the UK, we don't have to wear mask, we do have to social distance though, u are allowed to be in a bubble, i wouldn't say a 4th of July fuck is social distancing or being in a bubble. I work with some very sick people who have had life saving treatment cancelled. Then u get people like Chris who do as they please for a weekend fuck😡

Anonymous said: Getting back to the Michael and Alicia thing, did they start as PR and end in marriage? Or is the marriage also PR? I know that sounds ridiculous, but I’ve heard it happens

Anonymous said: I wonder if Megan is like “sooo that backfired” LMAO I haven’t really seen a lot of positives hahah

Anonymous said:

I would like to know what's on Cris's mind now what is he feeling, if him regrets this “drama”

Anonymous said: I hope he does get dragged for not wearing a mask and I don’t feel sorry for him that he can’t retweet something without crazy comments. For someone who pretends to be smart using big words he sure is stupid sometimes. Also-did you see the Tom Hanks PSA...lol “I have no respect for people who don’t wear masks) I could care less about A Starting Point. Covid has hit so close to home with friends and family I’m just floored about this.

Anonymous said: If they use the “having fun” “seeing where things are going” language in the next article about them it’s a publicity stunt. Because those phrases are not only what Chris’ team has used in the past but it’s also what many other celeb PR stunts use.

Anonymous said: Maybe Chris deleted the retweet because he knows most of his fans aren’t happy with him right now so he’s rather lay low

Anonymous said: Sorry but does that anon have more information on Minka and Trevor? How do they know they’re dating????

Anonymous said: Surley if they were dating they would be staying in the hotel together the past week or so or however long he's been there, it's clear from the pics she hadn't been there with him before and had to wait to be let in, they would know who she was surley……

Anonymous said: Some of his fans moved on cause they know this whole situation is BULLSHIT and it’s all PR shit for the movie while other are demanding Chris to say something

Anonymous said: I just want to comment and laugh at you explaining to the other Anon what the ‘Dark Ages’ where. That’s the most appropriate and best description I’ve ever heard over that wretched and gross time lol

Anonymous said: The ASP launch is literally one week away. He should be promoting that instead of doing this. He's sabotaging himself. I don't really think it will affect the success or failure of the website itself, but it's taking away from what should be his promotional narrative. That's why I have a hard time accepting he'd play this game this way right now.

hagarsays said: Also if Chris is back home we would never know not if he was seen somewhere in Boston

hagarsays said: I really just want to know why do this like what’s was the reason was it because lily might be taking Scarlett role so they want to make a name for her so they picked Chris cause they know how his fans will react like I need to know😂

Anonymous said: Meanwhile Scott is on IG advocating for trans safety and rights. I think he’s a great advocate and ally and I appreciate the awareness he brings way more than something like ASP.

Anonymous said: lmao people are making assumptions though. Did you physically see him walk through the front without a mask? Did you also see the doorman without a mask? All of these assumptions are ridiculous at this point. People say it's pr so they get the pics then what? You literally don't see it.

Anonymous said: Those screenshot are from a gossip site. Also in the UK we call it snogging🤷‍♀️

Anonymous said: Do you believe the DM that said they where making out in that person post you posted

Anonymous said: Just wanted to say thank you for being logical and realistic about all of this. I see a lot of people trying to make excuses for Chris and say this isn’t PR

Anonymous said: I'm pretty sure lilly still lives with her ex. And was probably partying so hard to get over said ex. Then gets papped again with a new guy. It feels like maybe revenge more than her actually being interested in casanova over here.

Anonymous said: I think like you. I think mainly chris is there for work!! Maybe it's already gone or is it still there? in my opinion I think it was more PR of her than chris !! when chris has done a type of PR that involves that he spent the night with a girl? why many think that already !! maybe the hotel part was part of it? why is chris seen entering the hotel quickly?

Anonymous said: Considering how vastly worse Black people have been impacted by covid, anyone who tweeted about BLM but isn’t taking the pandemic seriously is a fucking hypocrite in my opinion

Anonymous said: Why would this trip's purpose be LSOH? It's not like Chris is involved in the making of it, i.e., producer, etc. Why would he be going to London to meet with Lily? I believe they've been in touch in the past month or so (email, DM, text, etc.) and he wanted to personally meet with her. Wait and see what happens after the launch of ASP to see if he goes back there or if she comes over here.

Anonymous said: God I hope Megan wasn’t... he would need a new PR team immediately.

Anonymous said: I don't see him settle down. I never felt this vibe coming from him even with all what he says in interview. I think I like the idea to be a husband and a dad but if he did it he couldn't hook up with women he meets in nightclub, ask their number to girls, go to strip club with all the freedom he has right now. I read often it's because he doesn't meet again the one but he doesn't invests energy, make compromises for a serious relationship for me.

Anonymous said: If I were the PR person arranging this, I would have booked Chris at the same hotel lily was papped at a few days and sold it as “they hit it off at the party and were staying at the same place, what they did when they got inside is anyone’s guess” leaves fans speculating enough without the embarrassment or messiness of her going waiting around a back door for no real reason

Anonymous said: Also wasn’t it teased that lily and producers wanted to do mamma Mia 3🤔

Anonymous said: I think settling down with a wife and kids sounds nice to Chris in a “maybe one day...” kind of way but it’s not something he’s eagerly looking for or trying to make happen.

Anonymous said: Being papped during a hookup seems way off from settling down to me….

Anonymous said: I’ve always said his settle down wife and kids thing was PR😂😂 either way this is messy and I don’t think they knew it would backfire. Also the US weekly and People article mentioned it could be for work after hours of the dailymail article and fans roasting him for not wearing a mask and traveling

Anonymous said: maybe him is having a midlife crisis

Anonymous said: I think that’s the big takeaway here. If it’s real it will never work. Mr. Boston ain’t leavin Massachusetts for anyone anytime soon and she is firmly rooted in the UK. I don’t dislike her at all, the opposite, I actually like her better than most of his exes, but as a fan of both, this just isn’t rooted in reality long term. I’d be all for the man having some fun if the rest of the world wasn’t on fire right now.

Anonymous said: Umm shouldn’t we not idk jump to conclusions until we officially know what happen between them

Anonymous said: Thanks you guys for making this MORE about these dated, sloppy (PR?) moves and his reckless UNMASKED/NON-QUARENTINED behavior. I'm glad this didn't turn into outright bashing her or needlessly excusing him as *certain* parts of his fandom does with EVERY tenuously linked female in his orbit. Business or pleasure, HE has more to lose in just goodwill. Our climate is MUCH diff than in '15-'17. He & this better be "handled" in keeping with our changing world/times, cuz it's short-sighted and tacky.

Anonymous said: HAHAH! He is not settling down. He is literally hooking up or creating a narrative he is hooking up at 1am in a pandemic. Clearly Dad Chris Evans I want to get married and carve pumpkins reputation and brand has flown out the window.

Anonymous said: She was with a man for 5+ years and might have been cheated on. In the last 7 months she’s been papped a lot and with different guys and looking like she’s having fun. Now with an A list actor. This is her team making her look desirable and her making her ex jealous. For Chris it’s getting his name out there more and pushing the bachelor image. He followed her months ago and I would be surprised if this was planned but I think it backfired and makes them both look tacky😬

Anonymous said: Get a grip! Nobody here knows Chris at all, none of us do. You can't say things like 'I don't think Chris would like this' or 'Chris wouldn't do that' because we don't know. All we know is the very carefully cultivated image presented to us by him and his team. We have no idea who the real Chris Evans is.

Anonymous said: This is all so messy and quite frankly embarrassing because it’s so transparently PR. I think they both made bad choices here - Chris especially since his penchant for privacy made me expect more from him. How long do you thing this circus will last? I was around for the last PR stunt so I’m not sure how these things go.

Anonymous said: I don’t think she’s any messier than he has been in the past. I’d like to think he’s changed but the reality is we have no idea. His last major relationship had its own set of bright red flags. There’s plenty of judgement to be had about the pandemic situation but directing anything else towards just her isn’t really fair. I know a certain faction likes to always blame the woman but they’re in this together, whatever this is. I see people already turning on her and it’s kind of obnoxious.

Anonymous said: more to that anon's point about her being super messy. WHY would he want to be associated with that messiness when he has seemingly worked hard to get rid of or at least hide his partying image? I'm not sure I'm phrasing that right. But my point stands. He wants to be taken super seriously for the whole ASP thing and I don't think this helps him. The only real 'winner' here is her.

Anonymous said: I really and I mean REALLY hope this was just a work event and they went for one night stand. But if he will do pr dating with her or he’s really into this young drug addict with messy relationship history Im out of this fandom. He says how he wants a family and trying to look smart using all those fancy words but in reality he’s a huge disappointment.

Anonymous said: To everybody who is disappointed at Chris cuz he seems to be acting different from the image he's been projecting over the last years: Mr. Mercurial has always stated his appetite changes a lot. Maybe this is just an example of it (yes, I'm being sarcastic) 🤷‍♀️😂

Anonymous said: Why are people making a big deal about separate entrances to the hotel? Most hotels right now will only let you in the main lobby if you're currently staying with them. I think you even have to make a reservation before you get there. Lily isn't a guest at the hotel so they aren't going to let randos walk through the main lobby.

Anonymous said: None of this makes sense. I can only see 3 possible explanations: 1. They met for work, but where so smitten, they hooked up (but how would the paps have had advance notice?) 2. They met on SM and planned a date (but he’s never invited paps to his first dates before. 3. They really are hooking up and he’s so insecure about everyone knowing he was single in lockdown that he wanted to broadcast getting laid to the world (maybe he’s more of a bro than we thought?). But why so cheap and tacky?

Anonymous said: “Do you think he may have taken her back to the US given that she has been living in a hotel?”>>>>>I think some of you might be getting a little bit ahead yourselves over this one set of photos.

Anonymous said: “after one date/hookup” No one knows the real reason they were there or together. It’s just speculation at this point.

Anonymous said: I think it’s his old suit.

Anonymous said: I don't blame you for not noticing, Chris follows a few random women. People were just focused on the wrong one. Nothing even indicated they had contact until the pics. Even though I wouldn't be suprised if most of the contact was through their pr agencies. Once again who is buying this random relationship/hookup.

Anonymous said: I don’t know anything about lily. What’s her reputation?

Anonymous said: You think him & Lily are a thing now bc he followed her months ago on ig? He’s not dating every female he follows tho. Maybe it’s bc of LSOH.

Anonymous said: Yeah those were the words I was looking for to describe this whole thing. Cheap and tacky. The right way to reveal something to the public is them going out and getting papped at dinner, something more romantic that can at least give the illusion of a potential serious relationship, not a party and back entrance of a hotel. It just looks so messy and dare I say gross. Don’t reveal a potential hookup even if it’s just for the sake of publicity.

Anonymous said: Cheap, tacky and irresponsible considering the current situation at the world. He doesn't have Marvel anymore. I was curious if he would take the path of the actors and actresses in HW. IMO, this answer it all. I know he used PR before but it used to be subtle. This is ridiculous and entitled, principally, because of the current situation, as I said before.

hagarsays said: The only people who follow Lily is a scott and Chris but Chris been following her since he got insta. But idk about Lisa and his sisters cause there page is private

Anonymous said: The funny thing is this pr date is getting alot of positive feedback. So I could see then dragging this out for a couple of months. The only people that see through this are fans🤦🏾‍♀️. I bet that if they reported this on the gossip news tonight while dragging them for not wearing masks, he would stay his butt inside until filming and stop the shenanigans. Which I doubt they will, but it seems tone deaf to report on Nick Codero. Then report on two idiots w/o masks on gallivanting around London

Anonymous said: I'm staying away from Chris's tag on Twitter because it a mess. Some are excited about the prospect of Chris and Lily, some are pissed about the international travel and being maskless, some are confused by the randomness of the whole thing. I'm just not sure this is the kind of press he needs before the launch of his political website and the Emmy noms. I hope his team puts a pin in it soon. Also, it's difficult to take ASP seriously after seeing his irresponsible behaviour.

Anonymous said: Something I find interesting is that in the people article they mentioned Chris and her both quarantining separately. I have no idea why they would believe anybody would buy this relationship. Even as a hookup it's sketchy. Honestly they should let it die. They couldn't even get the dates right on some of the articles.

Anonymous said: No one knew Chris was even in London so that sounds like PR to me. Makes no sense for it to be unknown he’s there & then pap pics get posted from this site who is known to stage pap pics. What else would it be?

Anonymous said: I don't think they were at a party though. The article says they were at the private club, and that's it. No mention of a party anywhere.

Anonymous said: Wasn't she at the front door of the hotel at first then went round to the back/side, how would she know all the doors to the hotel, I doubt this was their first encounter at this hotel

Anonymous said: Lily and her group of friends are known to partake in shall I say powdered sugar. That’s nothing new that’s been the talk of the town for years here in London. That group of friends are known on the party scene which is their right but I don’t find druggies to be cool.

Anonymous said: I’ll never understand how these things translate into award nominations….

Anonymous said: A bunch of outlets said they were making out but like I don’t buy it. This might come back to bite me in the ass but like idk

Anonymous said: Trying to think logical and the timing of pandemic and them both being in different continents, information and pictures in May that she’s back with her ex, before Covid Chris traveling between DC and Canada... How these two could be dating?... even starting as online would be a nightmare because of time in both countries. This ether a PR stunt or she called paps when he asked her to his room.

Anonymous said: I've had a real fun day today thanks to Chris. Like many of you, I've been at home now for over 3 months. I'm really enjoying this. I'm hopeful this will continue to give me some laughs over the next few months. I'm looking forward to her arriving in Boston, that will really kill the fandom :):)

Anonymous said: Am I the only one who thinks they banged? I’m not denying they were there for work but how realistic is she left after the phots

Anonymous said: maybe we'll see the “new couple” at the Emmys

Anonymous said: What’s happening in the Seb fandom? Do people think that’s a PR stunt, as well? And, you’re awesome, Mod. You keep things in perspective.

Anonymous said: I feel like all this nonstop discussion about are they, aren't they plays right into their hands and gives them the attention they wanted. Granted it's a small section of his fandom here, but I hate playing these games. In an effort to change the subject, I for one would love to hear your thoughts about ASP (whenever you're up for it of course). As a fellow Texan, I almost canceled Chris on the spot after he met with ted cruz. Gross.

Anonymous said: If you go on her twitter (Minka) she didn’t take her geo tag off she has been back and forth in nyc since Jan. Also spotted in NYC in March. And follows Trevors Manager’s wife on IG. I know that is a random follow but she wouldn’t just randomly follow his managers wife if she didn’t know her. Either way she has been in NYC back and forth with the geo tag and obvi not working and you wouldn’t stay with a girlfriend back and forth.

Anonymous said: Do you think it’s a hookup gone wrong or PR?

Anonymous said: Speaking of LILY 1.0: Biel pulled the same stunt yrs ago w the then "King of F-Boys," I MEAN Sparta! Broken up w Timberlake (over Olivia Munn?), well after filmimg wraps, managed to get pap'd cozy on a motorcycle w recent costar Gerard Butler, despite both wearing shades & helmets, being in traffic on PCH. Everybody denied everything, but Biel was reunited & ENGAGED soon after. IF thats what this is, Evans should be weary of possible "rebound n release" relationships by now, but we're here!🍿

Anonymous said: I hope he doesn't post about masks and protecting yourself and others because that will be even more hipocritical.

Anonymous said: Ok, I have to voice my opinion since it seems everyone else has -- he has been following her on IG for quite a while now, perhaps they have been dm'ing and decided to give it a try. We'll have to see if she shows up in Concord MA. It's just really bad timing though - a pandemic and ASP starting up. Is he really this stupid?????

Anonymous said: I can’t take ASP seriously from a guy who went to London to hook up and not even wear a mask, or a guy who did all of that for PR. He is a joke.

Anonymous said: If it’s PR I give to 3 - 6 months

Anonymous said: If he's back in the USA then that's even crazier to me. Why would he go to the UK for just a few days, whether for work or not? That would be a bit weird even if there wasn't a pandemic going on.

Anonymous said: This is almost as entertaining as Ben and Ana.

Anonymous said: With JS and MK it was organic and there were things leading out to them being together. This is out of the blue and with no previous indication of it happening. Also London is a long way for causal sex or even a first date. The fact that Chris is most used news sources say he’s there for work. It just seems like a very sloppy and thrown together PR stunt.

Anonymous said: Looking at lily's Instagram following list Chris is second on the recent list, do you think its possible they were both at the bar separately and met then they hooked up then she followed him?

Anonymous said: Valerie is crying in LA right now hahahahah

Anonymous said: There was rumors about Lily and her sniffing habits. People can google them self. Chris could find someone with a better image if he really serious about asp website and his own image. Remember back in the days there was rumors about him and drugs too. People who hates him and his politics views will use this info.

Anonymous said: Do you think with this Deadline interview is his team trying to change the focus

Anonymous said: Even looking at JS and Minka there was some level of affection and SOME discretion. This was lily Collins, Lucy Pinder-esque. I think if he would have been papped at the airport and then later at a grocery store with him it would have been different. Ben and Ana are believable because it was months in the making this is out of nowhere

Anonymous said: The only other movie besides LSOH that Chris is rumored to be involved with is Bermuda, and that seems to have gotten a lot less traction than LSOH. Would it be likely that he's already starting work on a movie that no one's even heard of yet?

Anonymous said: Someone on LSA pointed out that he follows Bel Powley this weekend and she was in the park with that group. She was in lobby hero and in the party with Pete Davidson last year with Chris. So he is friends with her and is maybe the link.

Anonymous said: Feels like bad timing with ASP launching next week

Anonymous said: This screams PR but for what I’m not sure but I’ll bet money that she’ll be announced as Audrey in LSOH.

Anonymous said: Honestly I hope this is real because why have you risking your life and being photographed doing it. I'm sick of celebs and pr. Even though Ben and Ana are hilarious and entertaining. I thought he would be past this at this point. It's disappointing and he knows it's nothing but drama. Are more people really gonna see the movie/visit his website/hype him for Emmy's cause he's dating/boinking lilly? I'm truly done with him

Anonymous said: It's sad with the number of years Chris is in this industry, with his pass with Minka and Jenny he didn't learn his lessons or is doing it for have his name in the media for a nom. I didn't see Ruffalo do it. He lives his life with his wife and kids and shared pictures from the set. If it's a pr romance or just for speculation Chris uses the bad way if he wants to be take as a serious actor. Very disappointing if it's that bc I don't see a rs between us when he was in Usa and her UK.

Anonymous said: Do you remember that girl that was papped holding hands with Chris and we never seen then togheter again maybe this will happen again

Anonymous said: I would like to point out that the taxi could have stopped closer to the hotel. Not only Lily did her "walk" in front of the hotel but Chris did his too. And if he went there for work, he could and should have restricted his stay only for work, which obvioulsy wasn't what happened.

hagarsays said: Wait I though lily is still rumored to be In LSOH it’s been confirmed now?

Anonymous said: if they be together and both on LSZH is just gonna add more rumors about Chris and his co stars and I don’t think is good to his career to be rumored with costar in all his jobs

Anonymous said: This trip might be work related (with a hook up on the side), but this very well could be the start of a relationship between them. The long distance works for John Krasinski and Emily Blunt. Maybe Lily will like living in Concord MA. They could have been having a long distance get to know you via email or DM and now are ready to go public with it.

Anonymous said: Wasn't Matt seen out with Claire during the time he was supposedly back together with Lily? I don't think their "on again" was ever confirmed.

Anonymous said: Tbh she doesn’t seem like the type to be going to Boston to hang out with him and dodger she just doesn’t fit that vibe imo. And he doesn’t seem the type to be going to London every few weeks to see her?

hagarsays said: Just putting out there regardless relationship or not it won’t changed how I feel about him I will always be his fan😂 BUT Chris your on time out for leaving dodger

Anonymous said: I’m glad he’s getting called out about the mask thing. That and the travel are really the only things here that bother me. I’m in a hotspot. I know people who have gotten sick. A friend of mine was forced back to work with the public and now she and her family are awaiting their results. I was heartbroken to hear about Nick Cordero yesterday. This pandemic isn’t over. I’m disappointed to see him blatantly flout the rules. I feel for the driver and hotel staff.

Anonymous said: I wonder if the hotel Chris is staying at only lets guests staying at the hotel entry through the lobby. I had to stay at a hotel for work and received a pdf that only guests can go through the lobby. If I was meeting up with someone they would have to wait for me outside. I also had to get my temperature taken each time. They wouldn't be able to keep track of all non-guests not staying at the hotel.

Anonymous said: Also these pics were on Friday and bars/pubs and restaurants were closed in the UK until 4th July they were allowed to open from 6am on the 4th. But hey one rule for the rich and famous and one for everyone else

Anonymous said: If they were together, and he flew down to London just to be with her (like some people are saying), wouldn't he at least have checked into the same hotel as her? This smells like a PR game or one night stand or something.

Anonymous said: Actually Tom cruise is the only person who doesn’t have to do the 14 days quarantine idk why but there an article about it

Anonymous said: She was pictured in different hotel couple days ago not the same they pictured Chris with her. So no they did not live in same hotel and was pictured together by accident. Also if she was staying there she wouldn’t go from the back doors.

Anonymous said: I think Chris has been in London at least since late June. I follow his twitter and he’s randomly for weeks posted at oddly early (EST time) - 6-7 am. Too early for PST, kinda early for EST quarantine. I wondered if he was overseas and saw on IG last week he started following Gemma Chan and other brit actors. I think he’s been in London (lowkey) until those pics since late June. I think he flew private and he’s been incognito until those photos. Basically - I don’t think he JUST flew in

hagarsays said: I feel like the more his team stays quiet the more it get worse cause so mine think Chris is the reason Matt and lily broke up so if I was megan I would put out a statement so everyone can move on already cause drying quite make shit way worse

Anonymous said: The funny thing is I actually like Lily James. I’d actually like them together. I just don’t like these circumstances or this timing. The quarantine rules are rules for a reason, I don’t care who you are. This is some BS I’d expect from a Kardashian or Trump kid. It’s selfish.

Anonymous said: My guess is that it’s PR with a lie pleasure mixed in….

Anonymous said: as much as people or US did not confirm that they are dating? and they are the font that chris uses !! I think Chris is in London for work and people say something with that !! I think it was an exit maybe as friends or just for PR for both of them !! dailyM is so exaggerated already by little it says that chris had sex with her in its headlines !! In addition, if CN is correct, maybe it was she who originated all this to generate people to talk about dating with Chris?

Anonymous said: To be fair on the coke thing it’s no secret Chris has imbibed in partying in the past. I don’t care what he or she do to party. I care that whatever they’re doing now is during the Covid crisis. I’m sure the masked attendant in the background would love to not have unmasked people gallivanting around.

Anonymous said: Agree that this has all the hallmarks of PR. Even if it’s real, she’s not as objectionable as some of his exes and she is age appropriate. It’s just the timing of things. For someone who tried to appear “woke” and has spoken of the seriousness of the pandemic, this isn’t a good look. I’d love to be able to go on my now cancelled London trip this summer with my friends. But I’m not a celebrity so the rules actually apply to me. That’s really the only problem I have with this.

Anonymous said: Considering the article were put online with such a small difference, maybe his team sent the same e-mail to everyone? Lol

Anonymous said: confirmation about their relationship > Media articles don’t know shit tbh half the time they’re labeling a relationship even when there’s nothing to be labeled

hagarsays said: His team need to say something cause right now people are going crazy also one fan was being rude and making fun of lily tweet is not there but this whole thing is just a hot mess

Anonymous said: If this all just PR it was a dumb move on his part. I see most of his fans calling him out or their at least not happy with him. And this could get him some bad press right before ASP goes up (which might also get a lot of backlash)

Anonymous said: Shit... it’s really happening... It’s gonna be a long summer guys.

Anonymous said: The US weekly article seems to suggest he is just dating around still. Do you think? The People article says it can’t contact his agent

Anonymous said: If they are dating they look like a cute couple I have to say

Anonymous said: Relationship? I don't think any article confirmed it. This sounds more like pr for Lily in regards to Matt. They even bring up their "tense" lunch/dinner or whatever it is.

Anonymous said: There are rumors SJ could be pregnant (though that rumor seems to be around a lot since she's not super-skinny), maybe that's why she's been replaced if in fact Lily will be Audrey? I remember Billy Porter basically confirmed SJ and Chris would be in LSOH, maybe back in April or May?

Anonymous said: From what I’ve seen Chris makes an extra effort to get to know his cast and crew so I wouldn’t put it past him if he went to London to meet up with the cast or just see things that are happening for LSOH. He just doesn’t seem like the guy to fly out to a different country for a girl he’s a real homebody imo

Anonymous said: It's still so strange that mere days ago Chris was all "Yeah, LSOH is on the backburner right now" and then like practically the next day he's in London, seemingly for work. And if this turns out to have nothing to do with LSOH then it's doubly strange. And what's going to happen with ASP? He's either going to have to do it from the UK or he'll have taken these big risks just to be in London for like a week. If he wanted to do PR for an Emmy, I'm sure he could have found an actress in LA or NYC.

Anonymous said: What pisses me off the most about this Chris nonsense it that I’m a nurse and we have so many patients new coming in and we unfortunately see them die. I really wished he wore a mask even if the UK said it was fine to be without a mask. Chris miss rona ain’t a joke she don’t care if you’re hot rich and young. I love him but my god it breaks my heart seeing people die from this.

Anonymous said: There was another daily mail exclusive about Matt and her quarantining together and back together. Close Friends was the source talking about their connection. Than they were papped biking together

Anonymous said: I agree with the anon that said the narrative from us weekly or people will depend on the reaction to this. Time will tell I guess.

Anonymous said: This has nothing to do with Scarjo, she is clearly out of the games. Lily James will be in LSOH, that' s why he started following her weeks ago. But I agree this is all a big staged mess. Who knows if it will turn into a real fling though. Drugs and alcohol, she is definitely his type.

Anonymous said: I agree with everything you said this screams pr also i did a quick search of Lily and she has been in the press so much the last couple of weeks with so many exclusives by the daily mail! She also checked into a central london hotel on the 2nd july and guess what its only 7 minutes away from Chris's, so perfect for paps to get there shot of her outside his hotel and her to go in and hide in the lobby for 10 mins then get a cab back to her hotel 👀

Anonymous said: “Chris never travels outside of the US unless it’s work related. In all my years of following him, I’ve never once seen him travel abroad for recreational reasons. It’s always for work.” THIS THIS X1000! Chris never leaves the US (or Boston really) unless it’s for work. I really don’t think this was a coincidence, there’s so many think that various anons have pointed out but this is probably the most important one.

Anonymous said: When did he done his live interview? He’s definitely less than 14 days in London so he really didn’t followed the rules.

Anonymous said: I feel like this is PR only time will tell tho. They may end up being thing but rn I’m leaning towards PR

Anonymous said: Hi! Sorry if this is a stupid question, but how does a PR "relationship" would help with the Emmy noms? Is it the fact that he is out there more, so there are better chances of voters checking out his work? That's the only way I can make sense of this. Thank you!

Anonymous said: If it’s just PR that’s worse than if they were dating/hooking up. He thinks an Emmy is worth risking his health and the health of others?

Anonymous said: "And Chris wants that Emmy nod to finally feel like he’s taken seriously as an actor. They both would greatly benefit from this being a thing. " Sorry but how you find an actor serious after he flew in a middle of global pandemic to go to a private party with an actress who have not the best image lately. It's definitely good for her but for Chris it's a different picture.

Anonymous said: It may be less irresponsible than it appears. Rich people have access to tests, fast-acting (hours) & reasonably accurate. Films are a business. Insurance is a huge factor. An actor’s carelessness during pre-pro would alarm the $$$ guys, I would think. Haven’t read much on how insurance is now structured during CV19 but if LSOH is going forward, then someone weighed the PR opportunity against possible severe illness that would cost $$$. And decided they were safe enuff to pap stroll.

Anonymous said: I’m the anon who asked about PR romance. So basically his PR people have him seem shady to get attention since bad publicity is still publicity? I mean to say, is this his PR persons ideas for him to do these things or his and they cover for him?

Anonymous said: about emmys Mark is amazing in his role he deserve win the show is amazing

hagarsays said: Honestly at this point his team needs to put on some type of statement cause it’s not going away anytime soon until they set the record straight on why he there and was seen with lily

Anonymous said: It’s just disturbing to me since Amanda Kloots husband died of Covid 19 last night and then this morning Chris is maskless traveling, staging pap pics. Like we are in a pandemic. If this was from his team, they need to be morally better.

Anonymous said: But now it's a bad image for Chris... Going to UK, partying, hook up with his costar... oh boy it's feels like early 2000.

Anonymous said: I was hoping he learnt from his past relationships with MK and JS but no. I am disapointed but more by the fact he didn't wear a mask. We've got lots of people who are sick in Europe

Anonymous said: Not saying it’s not possible but I don’t think Chris into online dating, so this looks like pr for me. They didn’t see each other for months before last night. I hope Megan will think something smart and we didn’t see new couple alert.

Anonymous said: I feel like we only get paparazzi photos of Chris when it PR and have been called. You have never of known that he was in London other wise.

Anonymous said: This club (Marks) is not a nightclub. It’s basically like any media members club. People have meetings, sociales, eat and drink. It quite formal. You can hire it, or part of it out for meetings and events. So this is definitely work based. The hotel? I don’t know. Would CE hook up with an actress he may be working with straight away maybe? But it think not.

Anonymous said: i feel like this isn't the right time for them to do promo, it makes them both look like assholes

Anonymous said: The place they went to isn't a night club. It's a private club with very strict covid-19 rules. It's members and invite only. They have private rooms and limited staff during the pandemic. They have a thermal imaging thingy to check temperatures as well. So he wasn't around the general public or strangers. Read up on Mark's Club.

Anonymous said: It’s funny how some fans give him and Lily a pass because she’s pretty. Just wait while they found pictures of her wasted from last week. This is not a good look for a “politician” Chris.

Anonymous said: I hope he stays at quarentene when he comes back. The right thing to do was to not travel at all but since he was irresponsible enough for that, I can only hope he be responsible when he comes back, for his family.

Anonymous said: Take a step back and look how Chris is dress. He is usually casual for parties and hookups (Jenny, Minka) this instance he has been styled. He’s is currently on a Emmy campaign and has been in the us since forever. He followed lily months ago. Then these pics were specifically released to the dailymail (a UK based gossip site). And the paps just so happen to there at the right place and right time. Yeah they could be doing it but Chris is WAY more sneaky that this.

Anonymous said: LMAO. His staged pap walk got foiled by getting locked out of the hotel. How embarrassing. 😂😂 Chris Chris Chris don’t you know these stunts backfire?

Anonymous said: Seeing the pic of Stan at the yatch with the staff wearing masks and then seeing the pics of Chris with the employee of the hotel wearing a mask is practically a deja vú. I don't think this is good PR but of course people will run to defend him and ship them.

Anonymous said: Lily still share the house with her ex

Anonymous said: If this is PR it’s stupid and lazy. Another (British) Lily in an on again/off again relationship who will probably rekindle her romance with her ex in a few weeks. And, who runs his PR? Partying and implied hotel sex during a pandemic is not a good look. At least in Seb’s case, it looked like he was dating his girl. This looks like a hookup with a potential co-star. What, did they get tested just so they could sleep together (if that’s the narrative)?

Anonymous said: The photos where taken on Saturday night but are only been posted Monday afternoon.

Anonymous said: So can we wait for a pic of Dogder? If people calls out him on twitter, chances are there will be a new pic.

Anonymous said: I don't care if it's real or it's PR. It's stupid and reckless. He is travelling and walking maskless in the country in Europe with more deaths by covid and during a pandemic that killed more than 100.000 americans and thousands of people around the world. And yes, I am calling out Chris, as I am calling out people around me. Just because governments are putting less restrictions because of money and economy, doesn't mean we all should act as if nothig is happening.

Anonymous said: now I think that chris definelly follow women that he is interested and maybe slide in her dms

Anonymous said: Some people think they called the paps to put out an an official announcement about their relationship soon. Also, did Scott go with Chris to London? Or did he start following her after he saw the pap pics?

Anonymous said: **THANOS SNAP!** and the fandom's in a tailspin cuz he's done everything all at once! Travelled into a RECENTLY former pandemic "hotspot," "caught" with a "usual suspect (wht female, 30s, brunette, relationship status: complicated 😏)," pics framed like a pre-walk-of-shame (also that shitty site's M.O. - which had pics Fri but waited til Mon to release 😉), DAMN plebeian rules! = no mask or courtesy 2wk self-quarantine. So sensational...& stupid. Now: ASP who? But let's sit n sip together. 🕵🍿☕

Anonymous said: Guess ASP and serious smart guy image not his priority anymore. Rumors about dating his costars like in his twenties more interesting to his team. Sorry Megan but it’s not the right time for this bullshit.

Anonymous said: Also with it being a PR thing, surely this is not the Image he wants out there. Travelling to the UK, going to a party and hooking up all during a pandemic. I live in the UK and things are a mess here at the moment. I would not be heading out like that

Anonymous said: No masks, she was in DA with Michelle. He’s not normally one to get caught with a woman when he’s out with one (cause we know he’s no monk). Time will tell

Anonymous said: Gemma who?

Anonymous said: I mean considering in May she got back together with Matt Smith idk what to think. Also hook up fine but I don’t think this girl is moving to Boston having 4 kids and being his wife at home...I’m not taking this seriously.

Anonymous said: I just need to vent. So I apologize in advance but Chris is an idiot. I just saw the photos of him & Lily James that were allegedly taken friday on the Daily Mail site. And I am angry. Not because he is doing whatever with whoever but because he decides to go London & walk around without a mask, the day that all the pubs and clubs reopened. Like I said. He is an idiot. I truly thought he had more brains due to the fact that he was wearing one while he was in LA. Again, I'm sorry for the vent.

[nad-zeta]

Yo, can I ask for a matchup if its ok? First of all, i'm very slow person, I never get jokes and sarcasm at all unless its emphasize (think of me as Mitsunari minus the clumsy streak) i also have a very messy sense of direction and i often get lost. I acted like I don't care and I have a hard time expressing my true feelings to people, but I really wanted to help/take care of them (like Ieyasu but i don't insult lol). And lastly, i have a childhood trauma that I wanted to forget. Thank you! 🎊🎊

Its always okay love! I'm so happy u requested a match up! I hope you enjoy it and I hope you have a good day! Also sorry for making you wait sooooooo long! 😆

So I match you with.................. Shingen

You were adjusting to life at Azuchi really well. You had made a ton of friends among the Oda forces thanks to your friendly, warm nature. You had become really good friends with Nobunaga, Masamune, and Mitsuhide. The three would always strike up a conversation with you, trying their best to tease you. You also really like Mitsunari. The two of you were two beams of heavenly sunshine that brings so much warmth and positivity into the room. THB the Oda forces called you Mitsunari the second with the way that jokes, and sarcasm just flew over your head. Often the troublesome trio would make a joke or comment, and you and Mitsunari would just look at each other in confusion. Of course, Ieyasu would roll his eyes at the two cute, clueless angels, while Hideyoshi would scold the trio for taking advantage of yours and Mitsunari’s sweet, pure nature. You had a lot of fun interacting with everyone. You were long ago accepted by the warlords; even Hideyoshi didn’t suspect you for long due to your sweet nature. 

You worked hard for the castle and its people and was starting to wear yourself thin. Mother hen realized this and gave you a bag of coins telling you to go to the market and relax. He wouldn’t take no for an answer.

And that is how you found yourself walking around Azuchi’s market. You looked at all the fancy accessories, taking in all the smells and enjoying looking at all the different types of people. You found a particularly interesting shop selling the prettiest accessories. Manning, the shop was a tall, handsome man. He greeted you with the biggest smile and started turning on the charm. “I must be truly blessed that an angel from heaven has come to grace me with her presence.” To that, you looked around confused, then you simply smiled at him and said, “Excuse me, sir, but I don’t see any angel.” Shingen was shook that his cheesy pick-up lines did not affect you. He tried his hardest to compare you to a goddess, a flower, an angel, but to no avail. You were definitely an intriguing person. You bought a small dainty pair of earing and bid the friendly, handsome man goodbye. You then ventured deeper and deeper into the market, following your nose to one of the tea houses. You sat sipping on tea, thinking about the relaxing day you had had. Your mind couldn’t help but drift back to the handsome store owner. He had definitely made an impression on you. As the sun dipped past the horizon, it was time for you to head back home.

You walked and walked and walked; it was now getting increasingly darker by the minute as the sun was disappearing. You started to feel a sense of fear and dread growing with each step you took. You looked around at your surroundings as you walked, trying to find something familiar to lead you back home, but nothing. Everything felt unfamiliar, and you were now lost. You were so directionless that you didn’t even know how to get back to the teahouse you were just a few moments ago. You were now overcome with a sense of anxiety, when all of a sudden, a big warm hand came to rest on your shoulder. You turned around to see the friendly shop owners. You looked into his warm smoky eyes, and your anxiety dissipated. He looked at you curiously and asked what you were doing all alone in the street. You couldn’t help the tear slipping from your eyes as you explained that you were completely lost and didn’t know who to get back home. Shingen gave you a big warm grin and said, “I'll help you to find your way back, me dear goddess.” 

You breathed out a thank you and started following him, some shady looking men walked up to you and tried to coax you into coming with them. Thankfully for you, Shingen was right there to chase them away, he gently wrapped his big warm hand around your smaller one. “It is not safe for a woman to be out at night, my dear angel.” You realized the full gravity of those words as the two of you continued to walk, you peered into the darkness and saw just how sketchy the Azuchi nightlife was. Shingen brought you back to the light of the main road. You were so happy you could almost cry. You thanked him profusely as he said goodbye. You walked back to the palace gates while unbeknown to you Shingen watched from the shadows to make sure that you got home to the palace safely.

You definitely got an earful from mother dearest who was waiting at the gates for you ready to send out a search party. You had told him that you got lost and that a kind shop keeper had helped you find your way back. Mamayoshi breathed out a sigh of relief and made you promise that if you ever left the castle again, to make your way back long before the sun sets and to take someone with to escort you. The next day you made your way back to the market to thank the kind stranger for helping you. When you arrived at the shop, you realized a much younger man was operating the shop today. You were a little disappointed TBH. You turned around to leave when you bumped into a solid brick wall, except it wasn’t a brick wall; it was the very man that you had been looking for. He smiled down at you and started fliting with you as he does. Again, his attempts were proven useless as all his cheesy pick-up lines just flew straight over your head. Yukimura couldn’t help but laugh at the first woman who wasn’t completely charmed by his lord. You were definitely something else. 

You wanted to convey your thanks to the man, but honestly, you weren’t always very good at conveying your feelings. Luckily for you, Shingen spotted the parcel in your hand and asked you about It giving you the perfect opportunity to present it to him. He invited you to tea so he could sit down and fully enjoy the sweet buns you had made him. The two of you sat and chatted, enjoying the tea and each other’s company. When it came time to part Shingen once again walked you home, cause he couldn’t have his angel getting lost again now, could he? The two of you would “coincidentally” bump into each other in the market all the time, which usually resulted in the two of you spending the day together. Whenever you left the castle,  you were often excited, even anticipated bumping into the man in the markets, although you appeared indifferent to it on the outside.

A few months had gone by, and you were getting really close to Shingen. One day as the two of you was sitting at one of the teahouses sharing some tea and sweet buns; He brought up the sad news that he had to leave soon. You couldn't help but feel a bit sad at the news. Your face and words were indifferent to the matter, while your heart broke in two. That was until he took your hands in his, looked you in the eyes and asked you to come with him. You were at a loss for words, you really loved him, but you didn’t want just to leave the people who had cared for you for months. 

Shingen smiled a knowing smile; he could see the answer in your eyes. He told you he was going to leave the next day and that if you were to come back to the teahouse, he would whisk you away with him, and if not, he had his answer. Everything was a blur; you didn’t know what to do; the Oda warlords noticed something was bothering you. That night Hideyoshi visited you to find out what was going on, when you told him about the man who had managed to capture your heart. He looked at you with warm motherly eyes, left, and came back a few moments later carrying an empty bag. Hideyoshi knew you kept your true feeling secret like Ieyasu, so he could easily decipher your words. You had helped him so many times, so it was no his turn to pay you back for everything you had done for him, Nobunaga and the castle's people.

That morning the oda forces arrange a breakfast banquet in which all of them gave you gifts and expressed how much they were going to miss you. After breakfast, it was time to meet Shingen at the teahouse; you were escorted there by your whole entourage of brothers, each one curious to see who had captured their princesses’ heart. They were shook when they saw Shingen. You smiled sheepishly and introduced them, each one your new brothers threatened him in their own way. And after saying your goodbye, the two of you made your way back to Echigo. They welcomed you with open arms and gave you a room fit for a princess.

You and Shingen started your new life together in Echigo. You would often write to your Oda friends about how well you were doing. Shingen would shower you with love from the moment you woke up in the morning to the moment you went to sleep. The two of you had no secrets; you even told him about your childhood trauma. He healed all your invisible wounds while you worked with Sasuke to heal all his viable ones. Shingen truly believed you were a goddess or angel from heaven as you and Sasuke did, in fact, manage to find a cure for Shingen’s illness.  

Often the two of you could be found nestled in each other's arms, just showering each other in endless love. You love nothing more than to spend time with Shingen. Whether it's sitting in the garden playing with his bear cub while watching him do his carpentry or just spending a quiet evening together gazing at the moon. You know you have found your home.

Other potential matches..................Hideyoshi 

I hope you enjoyed this dear and I hope you are staying safe and well! ❤🔥

[leafsoared]

welp. i saw it. and..... it was certainly a movie. *le sigh*

OKAY. I got out of this movie about 45 minutes ago, so these are just brain farts. but here we go.

WHAT I LIKED:

ben solo / kylo ren’s arc. because he actually... had an arc. i liked that he died?? it made sense. it worked. i even cried! (i loved the moments at the end when he was just ben and adam played it so differently than he had up til then and yes. good. like that moment when he’s fighting the knights of ren?? and the awkward little shrug he does before kicking their asses??? it was the first moment in the trilogy i thought ‘oh yep that’s han solo’s kid.’ and he actually got to smile an honest to god smile?? he was a flawed, fucked up character who, imo, was one of the most original choices the whole trilogy made. to have an antagonist like that. 

speaking of han solo. the WAILING noise i made....

i thought what they did with leia was as good as it reasonably could have been. and yes i wept like a tiny child. and the fact that she and billie lourd got a moment was lovely (and billie basically wearing leia’s endor outfit in the final battle made my heart grow about 14 sizes)

MERIADOC BRANDYBUCK!!!!!! he had like 6 lines but my baby was there and he was good. at least rose got to hang with SOMEONE cool...

chewie and the medal. was it blatant pandering? yes. was i okay with that? yes i was.

dark rey looked badass.

i mean rey was generally just the baddest of asses and i appreciate that the other characters recognized this and were like ‘yep we’re just gonna follow her it’s all good.’

trio banter! i was never that committed to the idea that they needed to be together because i don’t think even the first film really set them up as a trio the way the OT set up theirs, but... the chemistry was good! they had jokes! poe doesn’t like bones! who knew?

BABU FRIK IS MY NEW BOYFRIEND. he and baby yoda need a roadtrip spin off show where they zoom around the galaxy being polite to people

SPACE HORSES AND BADASS LADIES RIDING THEM.

rey’s lightsaber’s cool. 

WEDGE. ANTILLES. that was one i genuinely was not expecting and i sat bolt upright in my seat. (i know that ‘resistance reborn’ has something to do with this but i haven’t finished reading that yet so.... oops?)

the luke/leia flashback was a bit uncanny valley (especially on leia) but it was nice to see

ummmmmm..... i’m starting to run out of things i liked because there was so much that was just.... meh. a lot of nice moments in a big old pile of bland, unseasoned oatmeal mush.

WHAT I DIDN’T LIKE:

welp. the rest of it? I MEAN. there were so many good ideas or good moments or good characters that then.... got brushed past so quickly we hardly got a chance to get to know them!

this movie had about 87 macguffins. honest to god it felt like watching someone play a videogame where in order to complete one quest, they have to do about 12 mini quests to collect random items. the locations were all gorgeous! but they felt! pointless!!!!

Fucking. Palpatine. I’m not necessarily against the idea of palpatine being back. but they didn’t??? establish it????? ever?????? not even in TFA???? i mean, tfa had about as little world building as was humanly possible to include so maybe that’s not a surprise....

i’m so angry about the rey reveal. regardless of one’s feelings about some of the choices in tlj, the idea that rey wasn’t from some special bloodline was so good. she was just her own person. she was strong with the force and what made her special was what she chose to do with it. not because she had some legacy in her dna that she had to fulfill or defy or whatever. she was an ordinary person who could do extraordinary things. but nope! she’s palpatine’s granddaughter apparently! because if you’re gonna pander to fan theories, why not just choose the stupidest one???? the audience in my showing audibly groaned. 

and of course there’s no explanation about WHY he was back. or how. he just was. zooming around on his big ass space cherry-picker. 

i liked zori (sp?)! but like jahnna (sp???) we barely got to know her. her existence in the movie was so fleeting it was like the studio went ‘well let’s have poe flirt with his ex who looks like a member of daft punk so the sjws will stop asking for finnpoe!’ again. she was fun. i liked her. i even think she and oscar isaac had chemistry (though OI could have chemistry with a brick wall). i just wish there had been a POINT to her. honestly she’s a character i might totally take up as a muse....

SPEAKING OF POE. so.... he has a sketchy criminal background now? ugh. he had sketchy background just so they had an excuse to go to sketchy planet, not because it was particularly enlightening to his character.

i know star wars dialogue has ALWAYS been clunky, but this felt especially clunky??

finn yet again had nothing to do. jj tried to retcon the wrong aspects of tlj. what he should have fixed was finn’s storyline. what he did was ruin rey’s. and rose tico’s. fuck you jj for sidelining her. and like???? the idea of finding a whole bunch of fellow first order defectors??? WAS SO GREAT AND THEY DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WITH IT. GGAAHHHHHH.

anyway, i could keep nitpicking, but honestly one of my biggest problems was that it just.... had no stakes. i mean, technically there was a lot at stake, but the movie rushed through it so quickly that even some of the genuinely nice character beats felt hurried and there wasn’t time given to just feel them. the big tension didn’t feel like the culmination of anything except this single movie. like yes this film was more like tfa than tlj, but it didn’t even do justice to that movie! the beats of this film all were so much like rotj, there was no suspense. there were no sacrifices beyond what you could see coming 1000 miles away. it just felt like an inevitable avalanche of meh thundering to its conclusion. i hate to say this bc he’s my fave of the ST, but poe maybe should have been shot down in that last battle???? so at least the big climax felt.... serious? bc the only sacrifice was a character from the comics that only a fraction of the audience will care about. 

speaking of that..... I WILL NEVER FORGIVE JJ FOR KILLING SNAP WEXLEY FUCK YOOUUUUUUUUUUU SIR.

anyway. my sour feelings were summed up by the last line of the movie. i so desperately wanted rey to answer the question ‘rey who?’ with something like “rey. it’s just rey.” like she’s done a thousand times before, but this time, saying it with contentment and acceptance. instead we got “rey skywalker.” i wanted to see a young woman who, having learned about her past and freed herself from it, chose to just be herself. no other legacies, no other baggage. she was just rey. being who she was, choosing her own path for herself. but instead she’s hitched to a different legacy that’s not even really hers. i get what they were going for with the jedi legacy and luke and all that and i’m sure some people will love it. but it was such a disappointment to me.

this trilogy - which has things i do genuinely love! - just felt like an ill-planned exercise in corporate greed that didn’t actually have a vision for what it wanted to be. it didn’t want to be anything but a rehash of movies we’ve all watched already. i feel like bobo the fool for expecting (hoping) for something more but. welp. 

[elliepassmore]

Empire of Storms Review

5/5 stars Recommended for people who like: series, ToG, fantasy, magic, high stakes, battles, multiple POVs, strong female leads, scheming Oh wow, I have such a love-hate relationship with this book. On one hand, I love how it’s written, how the characters and overall situation evolves, and, for most of the book, what happens. But on the other hand, I hate what happens. If we can read this and pretend it ends 30 pages before it does, that’d be fantastic, thank you very much. For those that have not read this far in the series, Chaol isn’t in this one; ToD tells what’s happening with him while this book is going on. Also, I realized as I was writing the review that I talk a lotmore about Manon and Elide than any of the other characters, so be prepared. Aelin has a lot of character development in this one, growing from someone who is a queen to someone who is queenly. In QoS, it was obvious she cared about Terrasen and her Court, that she was a queen and had accepted it, but within the first couple of chapters with her in this one, there’s a slow change. She begins acting with more calculation, more cunning, and more of a willingness to sacrifice—both herself and others—to get done what needs to be done. She felt like a queen in this one. But more than that, I felt she became a more mature character in this one. As much as I love HoF and QoS!Aelin, she was still acting like that young, wicked 19-year-old assassin. Throughout this book, she slowly develops a sense of stillness and a greater understanding of how the world, and people as a whole, tend to work. I really, really like her character progression and magical rise throughout EoS. There were definitely some sketchy parts—like when she was willing to bring the Valg into a city and leave its occupants to their doom, or when she and Rowan were talking about potentially conquering more countries in the future—but as a whole, I felt Maas did a really good job of showing how the Crown, Terrasen, and Terrasen’s people impacted Aelin and her decisions. Not to mention, Aelin became a fiery powerhouse in this one, and that’s always a fun journey to see, regardless of who’s undergoing it. And, I know some people have complaints about this next bit but, I love love love all of Aelin’s scheming and secrecy. It’s cunning, it’s wicked, it’s a Power Move, and it’s one of my favorite things throughout this book, even if it does get her into trouble and isn’t always the best move on her part. Dorian…poor Dorian. He really can’t get a break right now, can he? First there’s a Valg prince in him, then he kills his dad and shatters half his castle, then all his friends leave to go do Very Official Things, and then his city is sacked and burned. What a great summer. Dorian’s definitely close to some of that darkness we saw in Aelin/Celaena in HoF, but he’s already got a country to run and can’t afford to delve into the depths of his despair the way Aelin/Celaena was allowed to. It creates this interesting combination of a king who almost resents being king, but also recognizes there are no other good options at the moment and someone’s got to do it. The plus side of this is that we get to see a darker, more devil-may-care version of Dorian…ya know, the one who flirts with a witch. On top of dealing with all of this, Dorian also has his own magical journey and we get to see him gain more control over his powers and use them to his advantage in dangerous situations instead of having them adding to the dangerous situation. Despite these things, Dorian definitely feels like a side character in this one instead of a main character, and I think even Dorian points out something to this effect during one of his narrations:“For a heartbeat, Dorian felt like a useless fool as they all, including him, looked to Aelin.” (367). I suppose it’s not exactlyan admission of side-characterness, but it’s pretty damn close…and accurate. With all the growing and changing Dorian experiences in this book, I really wish we 1) got to see more of it from his POV, and 2) had more attention on him in general, he is, after all, one of the Original 3 (Dorian, Chaol, Celaena/Aelin). Manon continued her developmental arc from the last two books into this one, which was nice to see. With everything she’s learned and seen, especially during the course of QoS, she’s wary of what’s going on in Morath, and she’s wary of her grandmother. Manon has some interesting decisions to make regarding who—and I suppose what if you want to get into what she believes—she’s loyal to. We’ve seen inklings of her budding rebelliousness in previous books, but it really comes out in this one, and she draws a stark line in the sand, a huge development for the witch who once valued “obedience, discipline, brutality” above all else…though, I suppose rebellions can be disciplined and brutal, just not obedient ;P Of course, Manon also shows more of her caring nature in this book. In HoF, we saw her risk her position to have Abraxos and to keep him safe. In QoS, we saw her take Elide under her wing to the point of breaching Morath’s dungeons. Now, we see all that come to a head, with her releasing Elide into Oakwald and telling her to find Aelin, and then later being extremely protective over Abraxos, and, of course, that dawn when Asterin—and by extension, the rest of the Thirteen’s—life is on the line and Manon decides to draw an even bigger line in the sand. Manon has always cared, but I wonder if she always would have acted upon it like she does in this book. Or to the extent she does in this book. One of my complaints with how Manon is handled in this story are that she goes with the flow more than I feel she normally would, and I don’t know if it’s because she’s outnumbered or injured or what, but I felt she should’ve fought back a little more before relaxing her stance. And then the other one, which I know not everyone will agree with, is that she and Elide have more chemistry than she and Dorian. From the way I’ve read the story, it makes more sense for her and Elide to enter into something romantic than for her and Dorian to. I’m pretty happy with how Elide’s path goes in this story. From QoS, we know she’s cunning, clever, and observant, but with her having a larger narrative role, we get to see just how much she is those things. I mean, if you want a measurement for it, she lies to Lorcan, one of Maeve’s famous Fae warriors, and does it so well he doesn’t sense it. More than that, she also manages to buff her way past some of Morath’s worst creatures, which she does by delving into her memory and mimicking the behavior and attitudes she’s seen from the Thirteen in order to fool the creature. There are other instances too, when she changes herself and lies to get stuff done, and she does it with such ease, it’s impressive. Her observation skills continue peaking as well, with her sensing danger before it’s upon her multiple times. Perhaps part of the reason I love Elide so much in this one is that we really get to see the extent of her mental abilities, and that so often, especially in fantasy, when girls and women are badass and strong characters and beat the bad guys, they do it physically, we so rarely get to see them do it mentally like Elide does. Not to say, of course, that Elide doesn’t also get into scuffles, because she does, and she’s pretty good at those too. She kills some of Morath’s creatures with a broken nose while on her period, and that’s a bit of violent fantasy I can get behind. But most of the time, Elide uses her head to get herself in and out of situations. Perhaps not unexpected, but loyalty stays a huge part of her character as well. She’s loyal to Aelin, loyal to the promise she made to Kaltain, loyal to Manon and the Thirteen, and, when it comes down to it, she’s even loyal to Lorcan, which brings me to my next point. I like Manon and Elide as a romantic pairing, but I can also see where people are coming from with Lorcan and Elide, however, the latter pairing is not nearly developed enough in this book to warrant their kissing. Elide was furious with him like, two chapters before they kiss *with passion* and it feels rushed. If Maas was planning on having Eide and Lorcan be together (well…they are, but whatever), I think there should’ve been more of a buildup. They have mutual respect, they have aesthetic attraction, but they still need that deeper connection. Rowan feels younger in this one, though I thought he felt younger in QoS too. He’s freer and more playful in this one than he has been in the other ones, and I felt he was more tied to Aelin in this one too. That doesn’t stop him from getting shit done, though, even if it takes him, say, back to Adarlan for a spell. He’s definitely fiercely protective over Aelin, willing to throw down anyone who insults her past with Nehemia or Sam, or just letting her fight her own battles and scheme her own schemes. In terms of scheming, Rowan and Aelin definitely rub off on each other. For all the credit given to Aelin for her brilliant, complex schemes, Rowan does his fair share of scheming in this book too. He tricks their alliance target into meeting with them when he doesn’t want to, tricks Gavriel and Fenrys’ blood oaths to not attack Lorcan on sight, and schemes a way to get more allies for them. Despite this, despite how old and powerful he is, he definitely has some...self-esteem issues in this one, believing he has nothing to offer Aelin once she takes the throne, as if being one of the most powerful Fae males in the world is nothing. He brought it up every couple of chapters, mentioning he only had his heart to give…and then ignoring when it was exactly that that got the tide of a battle to turn (I love his cousins, by the way, very dramatic). Lorcan got narration in this one, which was interesting. He is not as much of a dick as he’s been made out to be, I’ll tell you that right now. Yes, he’s vicious and cunning, but he’s not horrible. He undergoes a lot of character development in this book, and I wonder if that contributed to it. I thought it was really funny how he went from “I’m going to torture and kill this girl (Elide)” to “well maybe I’ll just get her to tell me the information by tricking her” to “she is now mine to protect.” I suppose, though, that Elide has that affect on people. But even without that transition, Lorcan gets to see Aelin and her Court in action in this book, and he begins to realize that things with Maeve are…not the way they should be. Unfortunately, small realizations and a couple weeks (months?) worth of traveling with someone and being away from the blood oath are not enough to stop hundreds of years’ worth of training and instinct. Not entirely, at least. I feel like Aedion is in this one less than he’s been in the others, I’m not quite sure why, since he’s with Aelin and Lysandra for the entire book, and with Rowan and Dorian for most of it. He is a bit of a dick in this one, for reasons I can understand. For one, he lost his cousin once and all of her scheming just about stops his heart in his chest, not to mention the fact he’s literally fought battles and knows more about them in theory and in practice than Aelin does, despite her intelligence. While I love Aelin and her schemes in this one, I agree with Aedion that she should maybemaybe consult with the people around her before and while she’s making decisions. Him snapping at her about their lack of allies was a dick move, though. So Aelin hadn’t had time to get allies…I didn’t really see Aedion getting them either. Despite any disagreements he has with people, when it comes down to it, he’s still willing to fight beside them and protect them. Poor Lysandra, she has such a shitty situation. She’s mastered her shifting more, and everyone’s been giving her lessons in different things necessary for survival and fighting, but she still gets the short end of the stick. For starters, she has to leave Evangeline in Terrasen while they go traipsing around for allies and Wyrdkeys. It makes sense to leave her where she’s safe, but Lysandra has been the one protecting her for the past couple of years, and the two have grown close, so it’s definitely a hard decision that Lysandra makes. Later, she gets to battle five water-wyverns as a sea dragon, which nearly kills her and nearly gets her stuck in sea dragon form. (view spoiler). I think the situation is especially interesting because Lysandra is not fighting for her own country. She is not a King, Queen, or prince fighting for Adarlan or Terrasen. She is not a Witch fighting for the Wastes. Lysandra is fighting because she believes in Aelin and Dorian, and because she knows that if Erawen wins, things will get a lot worse for a lot of people. It’s the ‘right thing to do’ to fight in this war, but the right thing isn’t always the thing that keeps you and your loved ones alive, as everyone in this book knows, and it’s often easier said than done to go “I’d do the right thing,” yet Lysandra still chose to stay and fight for her friends, for the world, even if it means wearing a different face for the rest of her life, or dying, or never seeing Evangeline again. This book was side-character salad. Remember Assassin’s Blade? A lot of those characters make a comeback. We get to see Rolfe, Ansel, and the Silent Assassin’s back at it again, to varying degrees of willingness. Ansel coming back was, I feel, heavily and obviously foreshadowed in QoS, I definitely called it before I read the book the first time. Despite what she’d done, I really like her character in this one and was…not touched, exactly, but felt something like that when Ansel revealed she’d tried to go to Endovier to get Aelin/Celaena out. Rolfe was just as colorful and fun as in Blade, but less of an asshole, potentially because he wasn’t trading in slaves anymore. Maas included a plot twist with him that was entertaining, and I wish had more attention brought to it in KoA. The Silent Assassins come back toward the very end of the book, so we don’t get to see a lot of their interactions with everyone, but it was a pleasant surprise to see that virtually all of them turned up to aid Aelin and co. in defeating Erawen and winning their countries back. We also get to see more of the cadre, with Gavriel and Fenrys chilling with our heroes for a bit. Gavriel, perhaps unsurprisingly, causes some tension with everyone, most notably Aedion, who is more than a little rough on him. I get the instinct, and with Gavriel still being blood sworn to Maeve, I probably wouldn’t’ve let Gavriel anywhere near me, but I also don’t know if anyone had much of a choice. Fenrys was the wild card one of the two, and definitely managed to piss people off more than Gavriel did, but he was funnier, so that’s a plus. I felt…odd about Fenrys. It’s obvious he’s only sworn to Maeve for his twin and would rather be free or with Aelin and co, but he ogles Aelin, which feels slimy to me and I’m not a huge fan of, no matter how funny he is. Galan Ashryver also shows up toward the end of the book to aid the group in their journey, but like the Silent Assassins, since he showed up at the end, we don’t get a lot from him. Unfortunately, with that mix of awesome, we also have to suffer Maeve and Erawen turning up in this book too. I can’t really say a lot about Maeve without giving a bunch of stuff away, but Maeve is a bitch and I hate her more than Erawen, who briefly shows up to wreak havoc and spy. We don’t see a lot of the Thirteen, but they play such a big role in Manon’s decisions and arc, that I thought they should be included here as well. They’re so loyal to Manon, despite the threat of it, but they’re also not blinded by loyalty. Asterin, especially, is one of my favorite characters. She’s wild and free and fierce, and she isn’t afraid to get in Manon’s face and tell her like it is, but she’s also not afraid to die in Manon’s place. Sorrel is calmer about her anger, falling true to Manon’s idea that Manon is ice, Asterin is fire, and Sorrel is stone. Sorrel’s anger and questioning falls more into the line of “I’m not mad, just disappointed,” which anyone with a parent knows is so much worse. Abraxos is worth mentioning as a member of the Thirteen as well, since he also plays such a vital role in Manon’s development. He was the one to first break that icy exterior around her, and he’s the one she’s with for a majority of the book. Abraxos takes care of Manon and makes sure she’s safe, and when he can’t, for a couple reasons, he does the next best thing and finds someone who can do those things. Ah, the plot. The plot foreshadows aspects of itself, I’ll say that right now, but outside of that, there’s a shit ton of foreshadowing in this book, and this book also answers a lot of previous books’ foreshadowing. Erawen’s on the rise, creatures are coming out of Morath, and now nobody’s on the throne. The group is running out of time to get everything they need, and there’s so many twists and turns and foreshadowing going on that just about everyone ends up relying on one another at some point. Stuff from previous books connect into this one with more than just characters, and um, it’s a little fucking devastating. I love it and all the threads it connects, though, bringing everything around again and relating the history of Erilea to it, literally explaining why things are happening now, and sort of why they’re happening the way they’re happening. Some of the characters start to pick up on it, to realize that things bigger than coincidence and ghosts are guiding them down this path. Of course, there’s the issue with representation in this series. The characters, except for some of the Thirteen and Ilias, are all white. They are pretty much also all straight. Aedion is hinted at being bisexual, one of Rowan’s cousins is gay, and two members of the Thirteen are lovers. That’s four people, three of whom we barely/don’t see, and the fourth whose sexuality is only really hinted at. I love these books (and ACoTaR), but they are seriously lacking in diversity.

BONUS

The Visit

4.5/5 stars

One of the copies of EoS I have has a short scene at the back detailing a visit to Mistward while Rowan and Aelin were training there.

 I’m going to say from the start that I think Rowan and Aelin are shown being closer in this scene than we see for the entirety of HoF. They’re friends, we know they care about each other, they’re carranam (though they haven’t realized it at this point yet), but in HoF they didn’t act in the light, playful way they do now, and this scene feels more like QoS/EoS!Rowaelin than HoF!Rowaelin, hence the dropped half star.

I liked what happened in the story, though. Aelin’s temper is, naturally, on a short leash and it erupts toward Lady Remelle from Doranelle who acts a little too territorial over Rowan. Maas does a good job making sure we don’t like the Lady, so it was just desserts to see Aelin snap fire at her and earn her nickname ‘fire breathing bitch queen.’ Benson was just creepy and rapey feeling, and barely had any lines of dialogue. Essar was the only Fae from Doranelle I liked, again by design, and she was also the only one to realize who Elentyia/Celaena/Aelin really was.

 So, cute little short that gave us the background behind Aelin’s bitch-queen nickname, but also a short that’s a little OOC for the book it’s supposed to be set in.

Entering Terrasen

5/5 stars

The other copy of EoS I have has a scene at the back where Aelin, Rowan, Lysandra, Evangeline, and Aedion have just entered Terrasen and are in a small village where they meet a water user.

 I’m not really sure why this scene wasn’t just in the book, since it takes place during the timeline of the book and it would’ve only added a couple pages (which it did anyway, just at the end). I think it would’ve been nice to have it included because it shows the rebuilding of Terrasen, not just physically, but also mentally. It involves magic and laughing kids, that’s something that should be addressed within the book because of what it represents against the backdrop of a land recovering from being conquered.

 The scene was super cute, with the magic user being a little 9-year-old. She has, for the first time, access to her magic and is using it to play with the other kids to no one’s objection, showing that despite Adarlan’s tight-fisted stance on magic and magic users, the people of Terrasen are not about to throw stones at those gifted with it. It also shows that, despite the wariness the girl has for the Adarlanian accent, she’s still willing to talk with Aelin and have their magics play together.

 Overall, cute scene, should’ve just been in the book instead of a bit of extra content.