letsbenditlikebennett

[letsbenditlikebennett]

[pm] Wow, I didn't even have to put on the Phoenix suit ;)

I have no idea what it smells like marinara, but definitely beats whatever the rotten goo smell had going for it. Maybe Wicked's Rest is trying to go for its own cursed version of Little Italy? Which honestly... that's the kinda weird I can get behind. I'm gonna get us so much chicken parm, babe.

Also, I hope you're down to help me study this semester... like actually. That wasn't an innuendo. Well, mostly. I'm taking a geology class and obviously you're the actual best source on all things rocks.

[pm] You're literally my dream girl.

[...]

Why does it smell like marinara, btw? I mean, it's better than the stench a few months back, but it's a weird choice. Chicken parm does sound pretty great right about now, though!

[letsbenditlikebennett]

Wait, you seriously haven't heard of the Grotte du Fromage? The cave cow is like UMWR's mascot and everything. Go Bessie!

The cheese cave is a cave with a cursed cow that is inexplicably filled with stinky cheese that might also be cursed. Not to be confused with government cheese caves. Because both things do in fact exist.

[pm] Why are you down a finger?

I mean, if you pissed off one of the frat guys that's like they're favorite prank... or way to delay exams I guess. I'm nothing if not acute.

Those words don't go together. [...] What's a cheese cave?

My hands are fine. I've one fewer finger than last we spoke but that's hardly an inhibitor.

The mittens might be cursed. I received them apropos of nothing one day. They don't smell like cheese, though. I think you're being obtuse about that.

[letsbenditlikebennett]

[pm] Hey Alex.

I'm sorry I didn't respond to you. I've been stuck in that damn goo.

How have you been?

[pm] I'm glad you're out of the goo. Are you healing up ok? Do you or the lake need anything?

Mix of good and bad. Holidays were nice. Clawing up a warden? Not so nice. New Taylor Swift album? Extra nice. Telling Cass I love her and her saying it back? Even better.

@closingwaters

[letsbenditlikebennett]

What do you mean what am I talking about? It's in the name parker. It's glue from the cheese cave... or I guess it'd be more accurate to say it's really sticky cheese?

Just my guess based off the limited information about what's wrong with the mittens... or your hands?

[...]

[...] Cheese cave glue? What are you talking about?

[letsbenditlikebennett]

@magmahearts replied to your post “[pm] Babe, I need you to do me a favor and pretend...”:

[pm] I love you so much.

​[pm] 👁️💗🌋2️⃣

That means I love you too in emoji, in case you didn't know. I take my job as authority on emojis very seriously.

[...]

Is it the smell of marinara in the air or does chicken parm sound like the best dinner idea since... I don't know? What's an iconic dinner that's not the one with hair guy?

[letsbenditlikebennett]

[ Wrapped up in a bag and given to Alex, along with some peach gummies. There is also a note! ]

Another Taylor embroidery. I hope you like it. Thank you for being such a good friend.

- Aria :)

[letsbenditlikebennett]

Why do I keep getting toes launched at me? I don't even have a foot fetish. :/ But also, who is in charge of the town's weird shit? How are these toes just being thrown around for free? Can't believe WR is missing out on its OnlyToes bag. Couldn't be me.

[letsbenditlikebennett]

Is your name Grandma by chance? There's a song about this. Real banger.

Help-- anybody. I've been running for my life from 8 tiny reindeer since I walked outside my apartment this morning. They won't stop chasing me. I'm typing this while hiding in a shop. But that's not stopping them. They're trying to break in! What do I DO?!

[letsbenditlikebennett]

Uh... I know you didn't do the whole public school thing, but you're a smart man... I have to think you learned how to take off mittens. Did someone put cheese cave glue in your mittens?

I am currently searching for viable methods of removing a [...] mitten from one's hand.

Sarcastic responses will be silently acknowledged and promptly ignored.

[letsbenditlikebennett]

Talk about a red flag... a marinara flag? My advice is always don't go investigating the weird shit in the woods. 0/10 would recommend. That's my official advice. My unofficial advice is that if you do... bring parm.

[User thought she was responding to a dm from a work friend. She's a little hungover and not in the mood to check things like privacy settings.]

Yes, I heard it smells like marinara. That doesn't mean I want to go trapsing through the woods to test that for myself.

[letsbenditlikebennett]

That's just me with a sunburn. Or snow burn? My cheeks get really read in the cold.

But on the real... is it floating?

Can someone tell me why there's a creepy little red balloon with a face following me around my house? Fuck, I miss California already. At least the weird shit that happened there was normal.

[letsbenditlikebennett]

Left next to Andy’s present to be delivered, the wrapping is as nice as Lil was going to be able to do. 

Inside is a scarf Lil has based on the cardigan Taylor Swift has, with carefully stitched stars on a complicated cable knit. She very clearly matched the yarn colors in hopes that it came across correctly. 

Hey Alex, 

Appreciate you not causing any trouble during halloween. Still come in for that cupcake. I wasn’t sure what your size was, so forgive me for not making the Cardigan™ but hopefully this is a nice substitute. Merry Christmas. 

Best, 

Lil  

[letsbenditlikebennett]

Left on Alex’s bedside table with a note:

Alex,

Merry Christmas! The stone is rose quartz – just like the one I gave you for your birthday! I love you. I’m so lucky to have you in my life, and so much luckier to get to call you my girlfriend. This year has been amazing, and you’re a big reason as to why! <3

Love,

Cass

[letsbenditlikebennett]

[pm] Babe, I need you to do me a favor and pretend to be a regional manager in charge of emojis if Dr. Kavanagh asks. But, like, use a fake name!

[pm] Who is this babe you speak of? I'm Camilla Delrotini, the regional director in charge of emojis. I was appointed by the president. It's all very serious.

@magmahearts

[letsbenditlikebennett]

[pm] Hi Alex, it's Leila. Hope you're doing well! I have a very, very, very large box of several different outfits for one sixteen-foot skeleton. I'm open all week, so if you want to stop by and pick it up, feel free to pop in any time.

[pm] The skeleton should keep slaying with the outfits year round I think. Thanks for making these, Leila... and happy new year!

[letsbenditlikebennett]

[A collection of various crystals each in different backs are left along with a plate of cookies for Alex]

Joyeux Noël. Since you like rocks and Taylor Swift. Found some Taylor Swift themed rocks. Hope you like them. If not at least you have the cookies.

- Kaden

[letsbenditlikebennett]

Sent to the cabin with a card.

Merry Crimus. I tried to make you your own All Too Well scarf. Hope you like it, bestie. -Milo