#its not that im embarrassed i just..... sob sob | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cherrylight · 11 months ago

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why am i embarrassed talking about the love of my life like thats my boyfriend why are you embarrassed to gush about him.... thats YOUR loser

#its not that im embarrassed i just..... sob sob #anyway...#hi 🍒 i miss you. come home.... please... paws at you #i am so normal btw #ashley talks

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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 7 months ago

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i actually adore him so much i can’t stand it

#LAIOSSSSSS MY BELOVED #SOBS I LOVE DUNGEON MESHI I LOVE DUNGEON MESHIIIIIII #i just KNOW it’s gonna be my anime of the year….. we’ll see if maybe apothecary can beat it BUT.#dunmeshi just…. feels so aricoded…… im only five eps in and i feel lifelong brainrot sneaking into my bloodstream #SOB I LOVE THEMMMM I LOVE THEM ALL :((((( love laios n chilchuck and . i know im gonna adore mr samurai… n the kitty cat #hhhhh i cant wait to binge it all #IM SO DOWN BAD FOR HIM ITS EMBARRASSING i really Do need him 😔😔 i need him so bad 😔😔😔#he’s so perfect sniffle #ari noises ✩

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zenithpng · 5 months ago

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..

#god im so sorry for vènting so damn much there is something so wrong with my head right now #every bit of positive attention ive gotten recently or even just attention in general sometimes has made me want to shed my skin #and on top of that there are Things in my head and i am worried it may be ********* but im too frightened to do any sort of research into i #but also hooo boy do i feel like im faking because like jet come on thats a trauma thing. you just kinda got yelled at SHUT UP YOURE FINE #and thats probably the biggest thing fucking me up right now because like im probably wrong but what if im right. dear fuck what then.#ànd also im scared to talk about it with anyone that does experience ********* because i feel so shitty insinuating that i went through #something like that when i know damn well i didnt #like oh wow you had a weird childhood ok jet get fucked everyones got a weird childhood #anyway. i need to like #talk to a stranger with ********* so im not so grossly embarrassed maybe #fuck #also lìke i just wanna stop talking to everyone but i started a zine and i cant abandon that and its upsetting me #like i need to fade into nothingness but i cant right now :/#anyway . desr lord why am i like this. what is inside me. what is going on.#delete later #jet maybe you need to get hit real hard by a car and that will do a hard reset and everything will be ok #vent #ALSO MY PARTNER IS GŔADUATING AND I CANT FUCKING BE THERE.#was litèrally sobbing over that this morning. i am so proud of them and they look so happy but also i cant be there #all i want is to hug them and congŕatulate them in person and give them a big bouquet of flowers but NO.#anyway. UGH.

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vacalimpia · 4 months ago

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having my college friends like the posts where im rambling really hits me on how bizarre it must be to see how i am online compared to how i behave with people im not close to in real life lolol its a bit embarrassing when in person im very tame and soft spoken while online i speak in such a way it makes me seem LOUD😭 well, when you compare those two at least, im not too sure if it is percieved that way in general www.

irls who im not very close to if you see how i act online no you didn't 😢. please pretend you get to know this side of me gradually in a satisfying character arc.😢

#i talk!!!#the contrasts of my publicsona and my onlinesona😢#my publicsona loves blending in with the crowd and capturing social cues and staying on its own place #neither are a lie though. publicsona is just me comforming a bit more so i dont weird people of the bat www but everyone does that i think #BUT EITHER WAY ITS STILL EMBARRASSING TO HAVE PEOPLE WHO KNOW ME FROM ONE SIDE SEE THE OTHER ONE WWWW #if you know me online first seeing me comform more would be equally as embarassing im sorry thay would be so awkward #but it feels a bit worse viceversa because at least online you already see me acting weird ACTING MORE NORMALLY WOULD BE MORE CHILL TO SEE #imagine being hit with whiplash your buddy michael from class has a very goofy online presence where he calls himself local cat boy #(sob)#this excludes close friends though they do know im rabid

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pinkseas · 1 year ago

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girl help i started thinking Too Much about the fic avert your eyes

#im doomspiraling #or w/e the fuck youd call it #it feels Boring and mediocre and like none of the plot is actually captivating #its not mysterious or weird it just feels predictable #half of the scenes are repeating themselves its just the same stupid shit #its Flat theres no real emotion no stakes nothing youre waiting for its just. something you skim over and click away from #ugh. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #i dont do this too often anymore but the further i get into the fic the worse its gonna get #because ill be rereading my own shit over and over and itll feel less impactful and more predictable #and then its So Hard To Tell whats GENUINELY bad and what im just bitching about #im going to explode #watch me spend months talking about this and writing it and then i FINALLY have it done and its just. neutral face emoji through and through #<- too braindead to find the right words to describe how im Feeling and the emotion or lack of such the fic will invoke #god help me fr #ughgghhgghghhghgghghghhhgghghghghgh #itd also be So Much Easier if i didnt have that whole Thing with lying and constantly assuming ppl r lying to spare my feelings :sob:#like i could trust someone to the moon and back but if they read it over and liked it my brain would just.#'theyre lying its awful its so bad theyre embarrassed for you and they dont even know where to start which is why theyre lying abt it'#'its so fucking indescribably awful and no one will ever tell you and youll live in ignorance of the fact'#like girl. GIRL.#GET A GRIP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ive gotten soooooo much better with so much of my shit but that one has persisted through so much #gonna try talking to my therapist about it in a couple days bc its Been a problem #like fr my writing will get complimented and i jump instantly to 'theyre lying and it sucks' GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!#i am Not Special Enough that people would go THAT far out of their way to lie to my face and make me feel better #<- exact same thought i had last time when a bunch of ppl spent months lying to my face to spare my feelings abt Really Important Things #praying that no one reads this far down the tags and if u have ermmmmm dorry im having a hashtag girl moment u know how it is #ill delete this in the morning when i am Sane again

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crunchycrystals · 21 days ago

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watched my old ass with my family and they all started laughing when older elliot hugged chad and i wanted to shout at them like SHUT THE FUCK UP !!!!!!!!!!!! YOU DONT UNDERSTAND THE CATHARSIS OF TIME TRAVEL im crying as i write this i had to hold in my tears bc we were all squished on the couch but now i am full crying

#crunchyposts #movies #just like yeah ive wanted to write a time travel related thing for a while and this movie pretty solidly hit the mark on what i feel #re grief and my past self and love and all that #aubrey plaza crying as she hugs chad and her final voice memo got me bad im desperately trying not to sob rn lol #good movie. good movie #my sibling said it was a good movie but not one that sticks with you or you rewatch as a joke and i must say i feel fucking crazy #was i the only one processing the themes. i was playing solitaire the whole time too #im gonna rewatch some of those scenes one day and that message is gonna stick with me for a while as someone whos so avoidant of #anything that hurts #and one of my favorite tropes of all time is saying goodbye to a loved one who doesnt realize its goodbye #so yeah this movie hit #i do think the queer representation couldve been handled better but bc i went into this not knowing it was queer and assuming she was bi #i was mostly fine #i just wish we had more representation for lesbians so this wouldnt have to be an issue like i wanna see shit like this sometimes #but it sucks bc it plays into stereotypes if someone isnt used to lesbians or etc etc etc it SUCKS straight people can be unhealthy and #its not treated as a massive diversity loss but whatever thats my diversity rant caveat go watch this movie if you have opinions #on life and death and love and loss and if you think about whether its better to have loved and lost or to have never loved at all #also if youve ever had the urge to go back in time and tell yourself its gonna be ok bc i broke down into embarrassing sobs when #older elliot tells younger elliot that she loves her #thats the line that got me the most in the entire film. just 'i love you' and im still crying

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oetscop · 2 months ago

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sitting on the floor w my ears back and tail down trembling and looking pathetic and soggy

#tongue #theres a delicate balance between wanting to spend more time offline and also socially isolating myself #also i never talk abt it bc lowkey im still embarrassed to exist but being an age regressor is fucking exhausting and depressing #bc i dont Want to but then something happens and im sitting on the floor sobbing and being alone and scared and i hate it #and its kinda a neverending cycle of being insane and isolating and then being lonely but not being able to reach out #and then something happens and i have no support bc i refuse to acknowledge it ever #and then im back on the floor again crying #lalalalalalalalala whatever im crocheting a bed for the cats #and also i put my phone on dnd all the time and dont turn it off bc i forget so i just never reply to ppl #the isolation is 100% my fault if anyone thinks im vagueposting im not

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readymades2002 · 5 months ago

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genuinely it is difficult having cultivated the like. taste in fiction that i have now that i am in a place where i'm trying to talk to people more and make friends and so on and so forth and this is the field i'm having to play on with them. i don't think anyone has to be critic-brained (i do think its good to recognize that media is Authored and to look at things with both eyes open but some people simply enjoy things in other ways and i may get irritated by that but i don't suppose its Wrong) and i have in fact met people who Will meet me in that field but it doesnt change that the field i like to play in is much different and no one is expected to meet me there in the same way i am expected to play ball with marvel fans

#i find criticism and critique allows me a way into that field actually because i do not care for marvel #but if i try to pick it apart and see what its doing i can at least Converse with people about something #but its like. idk. thats an effort i make to talk to people and i dont find people do the same thing for me #and i dont really feel like its fair for me to ask either. in some ways that is me being silly and embarrassed and shy and all that #but in other ways its like well im not going to tell the most normal people i know to read flower that bloomed nowhere with me.#it gives people the impression that i live under a rock! i dont think i live under a rock i know about lots of stuff #its just different stuff and i dont usually talk without prompting and i find it hard to talk about something #if i think the other person wont know about it and ill have to explain it to them and hope maybe they look into it #i have looked into things for other people. i don't find people usually do that for me #there are even situations USUALLY with my mother if im being honest where she will take recommendations seriously #from genuinely everyone BUT me even watching things she'd normally never touch and its like Okay .#...#ive been having a hard week. its probably going to get harder as well (i go back to work tomorrow and i wasted my time off #being in pain and miserable and not being a presence in my own life)#and there is something about showing up to work with worse sh scars than usual and belt bruises on my neck #keeping my head down and not saying anything and having no one say anything to me at all that makes me feel. i dont know #how to word it. had a little breakdown alone in my* room yesterday and found myself sobbing 'help me' a lot #and maybe thats the root of it. i dont feel like people try for me the way i have been trying and it makes me feel like i am not worth #making the effort for. and i also dont know how to express this or ask for help without looking like a brat </3 so #anyway. ignore all that please thats embarrassing.

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allthatdivides2 · 6 months ago

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my brain telling me to go back to reading reddie fic 24/7 by making me dream about them last night

#it was taking me forever to fall asleep and then as im FINALLY drifting off i start getting this fucking incredible richie based narration #and im like i should write this shit down. but i dont want to fuck up my sleep. whatever im just gonna enjoy it #and then it was awesome.#eddie had to go in this house for something (it was his house but it wasnt his house like in the movies it had a back porch with a sliding #door and he had a dad and a brother and a big dog instead of his mom. the losers were waiting on the porch cause they couldnt go in. richie #tried to go in with him but his dad fucking HATES richie so he went outside to make it easier for eddie. problem is ITs in the fucking house #so the losers are outside and yeah theyre hearing yelling and shit but they expected that cause eddie fights with his dad all the time.#theyre chatting and shit but richie is being... strangely quiet. because hes working on this thing hes been working on for WEEKS now. its a #drawing of eddie and a poem about him. and hes super embarrassed about it but one night he couldnt sleep and he started it and now he Needs #to finish it. meanwhile eddies in the house and he doesnt immediately know ITs there. his dad is being shittier than usual even though hes #just trying to stock up some stuff from the medicine cabinet but hes like whatever im in and im out. but then his dad starts talking about #shit he shouldnt know about. like REALLY shouldnt know about. and eddie turns and his dad is much taller than he should be. and his head is #shaped weird. and all of a sudden ''hello eddie''. and eddies screaming and trying to get out and finally the losers figure out that #somethings wrong but the doors locked so they cant get in and richies about to break the fucking glass door when eddie comes barreling out #directly into him and they land in a heap on the ground. pennywise waves at them from the door and disappears and eddie is just sobbing into #richies chest curled up smaller than theyve ever seen him. richies so concerned with comforting eddie that he doesnt realize his papers just #lying out on the ground next to him. and nobody says anything because theyre having a Moment but as eddie calms down and starts talking to #richie almost like normal even though hes still clinging onto him and sitting in his lap his eyes flick over to the paper and richie about #jumps out of his skin to grab it but the damage is done eddie saw the drawing at least. and i dont remember as much of this part of the #dream but i know there was a quiet confession and they hug and its very fucking sweet and just. AUGH!!!!!

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kavehater · 7 months ago

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AURGHH I KEEP FLASHBACKING TO THE AWKWARD SITUATION TODAY

#it feels unreal #gonna cry #I wish guys didn’t exist !!! that way I wouldn’t be so awkward around them !!!!#like it’s so mean to expect me to suddenly be okay with interacting with them when I’ve been shut out from them for most of my development #years #its like so unhealthy 🧍‍♀️#anyways I already have a tough time talking when I’m in a mildly stressful situation but …#like my words always get stuck in my throat / I just mumble random nonesense / I don’t know how to articulate my thoughts / stammering #I’m a rlly anxious person and it’s rlly debilitating 🧎‍♀️#who ever thinks stammering is cute can respectfully … idk IM JUST LIKE 😭😭😭 how’s stammering cute I am stressed beyond belief !!!#I hate socialisation #anyways ughhh that was so embarrassing pls like now I think I made him feel bad about himself …#I didn’t mean to I swear I would never 😭 he just misunderstood me is all 😭#Muslim Girls CANT TOUCH ANY GUY INCLUDING HANDSHAKES FISTBUMPS ETC #pls … why are guys trying to fist bump me I am not a bro 😔#I Ran out of the lab basically #my mum when I told her the story she was sympathising w him more than me and said I should get over it !!!!#girl … I cannot stand men … even the normal ones creep me out to some extent #I’ve been shut out from them for centuries everyone wants a token goody two shoes good girl #who doesn’t talk to boys until she’s thrust into said mixed environment and is expected to deal with it how about no …#dora daily #yeah I dislike every male idk they make me feel weird ? it’s hard to explain 😭#it wouldn’t be that deep if everyone didn’t slaughter malala for the handshake UGHHH ID RATHER JUST SHAKE HIS HAND WHY IS THIS AN ISSUE #like on one hand I could’ve said hey I’m not allowed in my religion but doesn’t that just sound like rlly bad ?#the only thing I managed to tell him was after I stared at him like a deer in headlights was “uh …. I … can’t”#and he was like wdym you can’t LIKE LOOKING UPSET 😭#I DONT DO WELL WITH MAKING PPL UPSET IM SOBBING #I hope he didn’t take it personally it’s just 😭😭😭#anyways time to shut up !!!

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mainfaggot · 1 year ago

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omfg

#my little sister told me a joke that was really funny (it wasnt actually that funny everything is funny to me when i feel like my life is #falling apart)#and i started sobbing like sadly after laughing really hard #wnd she was like ???? YOURE CRYING???? ARE YOU OKAY???? BABA SHES CRYING BABABABAAAA #and then my dad was on the phone so he was like yo ill call u back one sec #and he came and hugged me it was so fawking embarrassing i hate crying in front of people #the people in question being my little sister and dad who care about me... sigh i hate vulnerability #i hate being hugged but this time. hm.. i felt sort of comforted #that in itself made me feel even more sad #i would've cried for longer but i stopped almost immediately and was like haha im just so tired and stressed out haha #idk thats definitely part of it but its not just school stress.#i feel empty i have depression etc #the works ..#z.post

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astrxealis · 1 year ago

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bacc from skool

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#yay... it's friday!!!#yk my class is so quiet but they're nice enough :P and my classmate/old friend waves me gm and bye lol it's nice #and i have secured a research group (at least 3 of us) in advance YAY they're responsible ppl and nice and fun methinks so yay #oughhh rlly excited for cle surprisingly but mostly bcs its more abt morals and philosphy stuff . that's why i like cle lol #teach is nice too ^_^ has been my teacher at least 2 yrs b4 and is nice LMFAO i make fun of his last name tho (/lh) i love it #but ya. sexuality marriage love etc ooooooh and sir is nice abt lgbtq both gay and nonbinary (idk abt trans. tho.) YAY !!#anyway i haven't had all my subjects yet :P next week. ragh #school is both fun and not fun simultaneously but i'm just really excited for the fun bits and learning more and events #also i'm more productive when i hav school ... not just playing ffxiv sobbing LMFAO #the funny thing is im so quiet in class but i Have done some funny stuff. mostly bcs the teachers made smth out of it #not in an embarrassing way tho lol it's all /lh #but ya... so quiet in class and w classmates but outside of it w my twin and/or my best friend i am . Normal #and waving to (kinda?) friends or just people ik LOL #yk i worry if im intimidating. when i wear my mask #i don't always but i make a constant effort to lift my eyebrows bcs i surprise have a resting bitch face #it's just uh not really obvious. bcs i always raise my eyebrows slightly and make my eyes more bright LOL

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birbabri · 1 year ago

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A bit of a vent here.

#i am urrgggugghrgeheg #in the past 2 days i have almost cried to both advisors #and then right before/after did fully sob #i feel so embarrassed #the first one i fully vented to without meaning to #and like i know its not bad to show emotion but like ugh #i was raised to no emotion and now have emotion and everything is so big #and this whole time ive been crying about stupid work #trying to decide whether or not to switch jobs from my high paying miserable toxic job to a husbandry job that i know ill enjoy #but husbandry makes pennies compared to my current job #and my current job i sit and do nothing and i feel so unfulfilled day to day #but once i have data in ill have time to sit and work and write #but im also afraid that i will like get fed up and quit before i can get my masters #just ovrrall hrmp #i did make a pros/cons list #and numerically it makes sense to switch to the other job?#but the big issue rn is that i feel very bad im wasting everyones time and energy with how bleurg im feeling #and i feel very very bad that that is happening :[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[

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butterppretzel · 2 years ago

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me and my mum did some looking and it turns out google maps sent me to the entire wrong side of town no fucking wonder I had no idea where they were :')

#ugghhh i feel so awful and stupid im sofucking stupid #i need to email them to explain what happened and probably ask for a new interview date but im so fucking. embarrassed and anxious over the #whole stupid fucking situation I might like throw up #I spent 2 hours walking around sobbing in the pouring rain because I'm stupid and went to two completely wrong buisness parks or whatever #great cool cool cool now I have even more reason for people to say Im a fucking idiot #woe is me im stupid as hell or something god damn it fukcinjsebfkujiaswfa #I know I should just reschedule but I think im going to like genuinely throw iup and die if I have to show my face there im not kidding #ive vomited from anxiety 4 fukcing times in the past day all because Im stupid and just followed the google maps thing to a place that #didnt even sound like thje right place #im so dumb I shouldve just put in the postcode on its own from the start #whatever whjatever im so normal im so normal im #ignore this im just having a moment

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ludwigplayingthetrombone · 6 months ago

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Post war/coma comic about Gai struggling with his recovery

Since tumblr hates long form comics, I have to split this into 2 bc its 36 images. This is the first part, part 2 i'll either do as a reblog or a separate post right after this, stay tuned! Links to support me in pinned post <3

tw: s*icidal thoughts, injury, a little blood

Bisuke: Gai's Back!

Gai: GRAAH!

Kks: Im home Gai: Welcome back Kks: [wheels rolling] Hey,

Kks: Ga-!? Gai: Im fine. The tile is cool on my face. Kks: Wanna go lay down in bed? Gai: I am so /sick/ of lying down. Kks: Ok. What do you want for supper?

Gai: You're not going to comment? Kks: I already know what happened. You overdid it again. I should be able to keep up with chores, kakashi. Kks: You can. Just don' bull through it all in one go. Do you want to end up in the hospital again? Gai: Please don't. Kks: I know sitting still is hard for you, and "too much" is in your DNA, but you have to take this slow so you don't exacerbate your injuries, Gai. You went from hyper-aware to pretending your body limits dont exist. Gai: Like you haven't done the same.

Gai: You've proved your point. Kks: It's not about that. And you've dragged me to bed and out of bed repeatedly when I needed it. You were burning alive from the inside. Tsunade told you your immune system is out of whack. You need to take it easy. /I/ know you're capable, but are you trying to prove to /yourself/ you are? Gai: You want me to admit my embarrassment? Kks: If something serioud happens, You'll be even more embarrassed then

Gai: How could you possibly know how I FEEL?! How could you EVER KNOW HOW I FEEL?! Kks: I DON'T! But I've /been/ the one ouking and sobbing on your bathroom floor because I couldn't take living anymore! And I don't want that for YOU!

Kks: I'm sorry, Gai. Gai: I'm sorry

Kks: I can't stand knowing you're in pain, and I can't get you help. If there was a way, I'd do anything. Gai: You do so much to help me already.... And I yelled at you Kks: I've screamed at you so much, that was pretty tame. I wish I was like you with things like this. Not great with what to say...... But I can listen.

Gai: I hate feeling so weak. I'm tired all the time, in constant pain, I can't even walk-..... I can tell tenten and the boys worry despite my efforts to appear positive. Kks: They're just not sure how to react. They know you hate being babied, but don't want to push you into hurting yourself. You hate being told you can't do something. They love you. You get stronger everyday, everyone is cheering you on.

Gai: I know it's irrational, but... I feel like you gave up the Hokage position to take care of me. Kks: Haa!? I'm grateful if anything. I'd be retired too if I could. That'd be amazing. I'm dreading just helping Tsunade but as long as you're by my side, I'll be fine. We're still equals, rivals, friends, partners

Gai: Even if I can't- Kks: /Always/ wil be, dickhead. Gai: You worry about me hurting myself? Kks: I know you think about it

Kks: We're the same in that regard Gai: I would never act on this, please believe me, these thoughts are rare........... Kks: It's ok, Gai. Gai: Sometimes I think i should have just died. I feel so out of place on the streets I used to feel so at home at. I never asked to live. I didn't plan to. I just don't know how to-...

Kks: I understand that. Though, dying didn't feel any better. Gai: I know I didn't fully pass like you did. I didn't see papa. Just for a moment, I wish I could have seen him.

Kks: As much as I'm sure he wants to see you again, It's too soon. Dai'd slap the shit out of you for wanting to waste your youth just to see him. Gai: [chuckle] probably. Kks: I have those thoughts less and less now, but they're still there. "why am I the one who survives?" "Burden" "Gai will come to his senses eventually"

Gai: FALSE!! None of my grief is with you! I love living here with you! My love for you only burns hotter each day! You're so lovely inside and out! Kks: Maa What did I do to deserve such praise from teh mouth of the hottest man in Konoha?? Gai: YOU STILL THINK I'M HOT?! Kks: YOU-! [CACKLE]

Kks: Your bad taste is the only reason I had a chance before someone snatched you up. Gai: The worst. Kks: Thought we'd irritate eachother, but it's been pretty smooth. Even though you still get played by the dogs. Gai: You really wanna throw those stones?

Gai: They play you just as easily. don't lie. Kks: My point is, whatever you need from me, you have it. No questions asked. Even if you yell and scream, i can take it. You held me together when I was unraveling, and I'll never forget it. Didn't trust anyone else to see me like that. Broken

Gai: I never saw you as that. Kks: I'll never see you as that

#kakagai #kakashi hatake #maito gai #naruto #my art #team gai #tenzou yamato #angst

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tokagrem · 25 days ago

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Im tired boss

Might actually kill myself if that guy wins and i get hrt taken away and/or it becomes harder/impossible to get top surgery

#toka talks #had the fleeting thought that a reaction image would not be appropriate at this time #but what? you want me to post a pic of me sobbing my eyes out? screaming? would that be real enough?#art is cope and by fucking god i need cope #its my suicide anyway i get to set the tone. suck me off #anyway #have not cried in a long time idk if its the t or a better mental state overall or both #but today and yesterday i felt like sobbing #no tears yet im still a little numb #i hate this feeling of dread #i havent felt anything like it in a while #i cant relax or unwind for long my brain just keeps coming back to this and the prospect of losing my rights #i fought so fucking hard even to just get medicine and now i get to stew for two straight months over if and how soon itll be taken from me #im so so tired #i keep seeing posts saying to keep fighting but i was not fucking built for this man #maybe if i were born a few decades later where im not a fucking commodity and the few people that would call themselves #allies would not sell me out for a fucking corn chip (childrens book series)#and being trans in public wouldnt be so scary and i wouldnt feel so embarrassed to ask people to call me by my proper name and pronouns bec #use im nowhere near masc enough #IM SICK OF IT #going to fill my eyes with youtube and video games and just any fucking white noise to stop thinking of this

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