#god im so sorry for vènting so damn much there is something so wrong with my head right now
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#god im so sorry for vènting so damn much there is something so wrong with my head right now#every bit of positive attention ive gotten recently or even just attention in general sometimes has made me want to shed my skin#and on top of that there are Things in my head and i am worried it may be ********* but im too frightened to do any sort of research into i#but also hooo boy do i feel like im faking because like jet come on thats a trauma thing. you just kinda got yelled at SHUT UP YOURE FINE#and thats probably the biggest thing fucking me up right now because like im probably wrong but what if im right. dear fuck what then.#ànd also im scared to talk about it with anyone that does experience ********* because i feel so shitty insinuating that i went through#something like that when i know damn well i didnt#like oh wow you had a weird childhood ok jet get fucked everyones got a weird childhood#anyway. i need to like#talk to a stranger with ********* so im not so grossly embarrassed maybe#fuck#also lìke i just wanna stop talking to everyone but i started a zine and i cant abandon that and its upsetting me#like i need to fade into nothingness but i cant right now :/#anyway . desr lord why am i like this. what is inside me. what is going on.#delete later#jet maybe you need to get hit real hard by a car and that will do a hard reset and everything will be ok#vent#ALSO MY PARTNER IS GŔADUATING AND I CANT FUCKING BE THERE.#was litèrally sobbing over that this morning. i am so proud of them and they look so happy but also i cant be there#all i want is to hug them and congŕatulate them in person and give them a big bouquet of flowers but NO.#anyway. UGH.
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