#its not necessarily accurate to the whole experience

[adhbabey]

I think its important to discuss and talk about personal experiences with other neurodivergent people. Cause like, we've all had personal experiences that don't necessarily align with how we view a whole group of people. And I've tried to avoid talking about personal experiences, so I won't bring unnecessary hate, if I had a bad personal experience. (And not that it would, but people tend to generalize online, yknow?)

But like its important to talk about things that don't work out or line up. Cause like, people don't talk about it in good faith, and people don't acknowledge their own faults in these situations.

So let me say some things and talk about my own personal experiences. To preface, I've been having a really hard time talking to people in my life who are autistic, and I have ADHD. Usually, it works out fine, because yknow, people who are nd get along better than those who are nd and nt. But I've been struggling with the fact that they need space, and get overstimulated easily. While I need reassurance and attention, lest I am understimulated and depressed.

And I'm sitting here listening to the same song over and over, while writing this, watching the music video on the side. Right after I ended a call with my boyfriend (he's autistic) and its really hard to hang up, when his presence often gives me so much dopamine. I love being around him. But he needed time to be alone, so I'm here coping with the fact that I won't talk to him again until tomorrow. And more so than that, there are other people that I struggle to talk to because they need an extended amount of alone time and space. And it's really hard to accept that hey, they don't hate you, but they need room. The RSD sucks. The emotional dysregulation sucks.

And I get the immediate knee jerk reaction, that it's not fair. But it is fair, my second reaction goes, you are given space too. And I know that, I get very socially drained so easily. So, its a fight in my brain. Either be responsible and considerate, or be impulsive and self sabotage relationships for my own benefit. It's not easy being compassionate and considerate, when that is not your first thought, when you're also mentally ill and exhausted.

So like, here it is. I am here to talk about interacting with other neurodivergent people, where our personal experiences are not sanitized or always positive. So, I'm here to start a conversation. Reblog with your own personal experiences, or relate to mine. I think we should be more open to talking about negative interactions, being neurodivergent isn't an inherently good or bad thing, it's just we're different and interact with the world in a different way.

I don't hate the other people in my life, nor do I wish harm upon them. But I struggle with them, just like I struggle with anything else. Share your thoughts and feelings, and your own personal experiences. I'd love to hear them.

[genericpuff]

Have you heard of the Canvas Age Rating Self Assessment thing? What are your thoughts on it?

I think it'll at least be helpful to help discern which series are for which age groups, but it's not necessarily going to change WT's moderation policies (which I will say from experience, seem to vary purely on the basis of which moderator spots the offense, some are willing to look the other way, others sound the alarms over stuff as inane as a buttcrack lmao)

plus I don't think a lot of creators are aware that whatever rating they get will bar those who don't meet the qualifications of that rating. There are already people getting YA / M ratings over things that aren't necessarily that obscene and subsequently losing portions of their audience who can no longer access it.

All that's to say, I think it's a good system in theory, WT's has been in desperate need of proper ratings for a long time now, but it undoubtedly still needs tweaking.

That said, I'm also not the best person to ask for an opinion on this as I've stopped updating works on WT. The stuff I do have on there now have ratings (both rated M which is hilarious because it's barely any worse than Naruto or Bleach half the time), but I haven't updated anything since before the rating system and I have a very small readerbase so it's really not affecting any of my own experience, I don't think anyone's been explicitly banned from reading my work on there as a result of it (and I mirror it on other sites anyways).

So yeah, not much to say on it for now, it did seem to be kind of buggy in the beginning with what ratings it dished out over which specifications, but I believe that's been adjusted/fixed and it's more accurate now. It doesn't necessarily mean people can post ToS-breaking content - and it's not gonna stop the NSFW Patreon farmers from exploiting loopholes in the ToS - but it at least creates an extra barrier of plausible deniability both for the platform and its creators - meaning, it's not a perfect system that will stop underage readers from accessible explicit content (or bot accounts from spam-posting NSFW ads as comics) but as far as I can tell it works fine as a rudimentary "dead dove do not eat" filter which is pretty much all it's designed for.

Overall, no real complaints here, just a feature that will hopefully benefit creators going forward in properly labelling and advertising their series. What Webtoons really needs is a better filtering system so users can opt out or into specific age ratings / genres / tags / etc. But that's a whole other can of worms that WT's doesn't seem to be prioritizing and is easily in my top 5 reasons of why WT's is one of the most useless platforms out there in spite of how successful it became.

[talonabraxas]

Celestial Buddha Lotus by Talon Abraxas

The Four Noble Truths

One: Suffering exists. Life is suffering. Suffering is real and universal. Suffering has many causes: loss, sickness, pain, failure, and the impermanence of pleasure.

Two: There is a cause of suffering. Suffering is due to attachment. It is the desire to have and control things. It can take many forms: craving of sensual pleasures; the desire for fame; the desire to avoid unpleasant sensations, like fear, anger, or jealousy.

Three: There is an end to suffering. Attachment can be overcome. Suffering ceases with the final liberation of Nirvana. The mind experiences complete freedom, liberation, and non-attachment. It lets go of any desire or craving.

Four: In order to end suffering, follow the Eightfold Path.

The fundamentals of Buddhism are to be found in the Buddha’s first sermon. In it, he expounded the “Four Noble Truths.” These explain that suffering is inherent to life; that it is caused by attachment, desire, and delusion; that these things can be overcome; and that there is a prescribed way to overcome them.

While this can seem pessimistic — the whole thing is popularly summarized as “life is suffering” — Buddhists tend to see it more as an accurate diagnosis of “life necessarily involves suffering” rather than a nihilistic statement that “life is nothing but misery.” Importantly, the third truth is that there is a way past suffering. That route away from suffering and toward nirvana — a difficult-to-capture idea of the state beyond the cycle of suffering and reincarnation — is the primary focus of millions of Buddhists.

Dependent arising

“All formations are transient; all formations are subject to suffering; all things are without a self. Therefore, whatever there be of form, of feeling, of perception, mental formations, or consciousness, whether past, present, or future, one’s own or external, gross or subtle, lofty or low, far or near, one should understand according to reality and true wisdom: ‘This does not belong to me; this am I not; this is not my Self.’”

A key teaching of Buddhism is the idea of “dependent arising” — it is one of the few tenets that every school of Buddhism agrees on. This maintains that everything is devoid of inherent existence. Everything that exists is caused by something else and will cause other things. Nothing is independent; every phenomenon depends on something else. Metaphysically speaking, nothing has an independent essence and can exist in perpetuity. This also means that when you try to find your “self,” there is no single, enduring, isolated thing to point to.

Buddhism teaches that a great deal of the suffering in our lives comes from the idea that things are permanent, unchanging, and unconnected to everything else. The doctrine of “dependent arising” teaches that everything is in flux, that nothing is permanent, and that even we aren’t as enduring as we might like to think.

[cybercasket]

What is the Behavioral Event Network?

I just went through the last arc of the ARG (finally), and when paired with the full context of the rest of the ARG, it actually answers a lot of questions regarding what BEN is, its abilities, and its past. However, I feel like it's not very clear to people what exactly "Behavioral Event Network" means and what it does, especially if they don't interact with the BEN Drowned ARG much.

(Forewarning: While I will be trying to write as accurately to the ARG as possible, at the end of the day this is my own interpretation. Many things in it are not only left unclear but are made open for interpretation on purpose, allowing a range of theories to technically be true.

Additionally, content warnings for cults, human sacrifice, and a little bit of talk about general death and violence. Largely average Creepypasta stuff.)

What a character involved with the creation of the Network has to say about it:

The Behavioral Event Network was created by The Moon Children cult, who later renamed themselves to The Eternity Project sometime after 2012 (or the events of the second arc). This statement from Abel implies that the Behavioral Event Network isn't necessarily a single entity or a group of entities that act in sync with each other, but instead a collection of the ascended/digitized people who exist in Majora's Mask.

The purpose of ascension is to supposedly allow the ascendant to free themselves from the fear and struggles of everyday life so that they can live on forever in the digital realm, where they can supposedly go anywhere and be anything that they can dream of and enjoy it, traveling between The Eternity Project's several digital realms for the rest of eternity. After their subject is sufficiently manipulated into wholeheartedly sharing the Moon Children's beliefs, they do this by utilizing a mysterious process that seems to turn them into ghosts and trap them inside a digital AI in a digital realm that the ascendant chooses before they die.

However, this doesn't typically go as planned. For Ben in particular, he allegedly (according to Matt, an ascended member of the Moon Children) wanted to become Link in Majora's Mask. However, the ascended don't always have complete control of what happens to them--leading to things like Ben being trapped inside of The Elegy of Emptiness instead of getting to be Link (at least while the game was being played by someone else, as two people can't use the same model at the same time). Most people who ascend are seen lamenting having done so in some way. There's a theme of betrayal throughout the entire ARG, with phrases like "THEY LIED TO US" being used throughout.

The Father and Absorption

Despite Ben's death being the one that sparked the creation of the Majora's Mask world, Ben was not the first to ascend. Rather, that accolade goes to The Father (also known as Kelbris).

In life, Kelbris was known as a prophet who was the only one who could hear the voice of Luna, the Moon Children's diety. He believed that the world would end soon and that the moon would consume everything--and this influenced the developing cult significantly. In 1998, the Moon Children discovered his electrocuted corpse next to a power outlet. Despite not knowing whether it was foul play or suicide, Kelbris was hailed as the first one to ascend and the cult began to sacrifice its own members, experimenting with ways of having others achieve the same "spiritual release" that Kelbris had.

According to The Moon Children, Kelbris had managed to inhabit a vessel that was "archaic" and they described his ascension process as "unrefined", possibly referencing how Kelbris feels less human than the ascended that came after him. While he is a prevalent force in the cartridge (self-identifying as a god) and the ARG as a whole, he appears to only respond to "stimuli" and react based off of what his code tells him.

When Kelbris/The Father appears in the ARG, he's typically tormenting, threatening, or killing someone--most kills in the ARG are implied to be The Father. However, this behavior may have been coerced by other characters in the ARG.

When The Father kills someone, they are absorbed into the Behavioral Event Network. The most obvious example of this is when it happens to Jadusable (the ARG's first protagonist) after going too far into the cartridge in "THE FATHER.wmv", a video from the 3rd arc. This is implied to happen to a few other characters as well, such as Matt (who appears in the cartridge in the 3rd arc after Kelbris is presumed to have killed him in the 2nd).

Additionally, one of the videos uploaded on Jadusable's YouTube account before the first arc started (the "Creepypasta story" that most people in the fandom know,) a video called "Prototype: All Consume Kills (Warning: Extremely Graphic)" was uploaded, which was confirmed by Jadusable to be a "vague metaphor" for how BEN operates. (So canonically, the Behavioral Event Network kind of works like Alex Mercer in Prototype 😭😭 have fun with that one...) This alludes to the fact that as more characters in the ARG die, more souls get added to the BEN or Majora's Mask world.

Who is in the Behavioral Event Network?

The short answer to this question is... A lot. A lot of people. Pretty much every dead Moon Child is in it, as well as every participant in The Eternity Project after the Moon Children rebranded--most people who have successfully ascended besides from Sarah are in the BEN. Not all of them were absorbed by The Father, a lot of them are implied to have been ascended through other means and somehow ended up in Majora's Mask instead of their intended world.

I might make a longer post about people who are or are likely in the BEN, though I do want to touch on the dominant forces in BEN briefly. This is who I think is largely responsible for BEN's actions as a collective in the ARG as a whole:

The Father: See the above section. He's very powerful and sometimes even breaches the outside world, and some people interpret him as a type of overseer of the BEN. He could have been easily manipulated due to his simplistic and poorly developed AI.

Ben: Typically represented via the Elegy of Emptiness statue. It's not entirely clear the role Ben (the kid who drowned) plays in BEN, though he is confirmed to be involved in terrorizing Jadusable in the first arc (aka the "original Creepypasta story"). Additionally, the Elegy of Emptiness statue is a common motif throughout the ARG--the "canon BEN" image is an AI-generated image with the Elegy of Emptiness likely being used as a source, and in the second arc, dead or missing characters would often have the Elegy of Emptiness statue pasted on their page. While in the 3rd arc, Ben is treated as the innocent, tortured soul who inhabits the Elegy of Emptiness, (eg. Matt says that he was trapped but conscious in the statue unable to do anything, and Circle also refers to him as innocent,) he may have (or previously had) more influence over the game than it seems on the surface. However, it is notable that in The Last Hero.wmv, Matt appears to be able to summon an Elegy statue to a location on his own seemingly without any input from Ben, and that Ben is frequently seen terrified of The Father.

The Masked Children (Goht, Odolwa, Gyorg, Twinmold, and Majora): They use the models of the Moon Children seen on the moon in the original Majora's Mask, and are implied to be inhabited by different spirits. When they're in agreement (or "consensus"), they speak like The Three Witches in Macbeth, but when they're not, there's often a lot of bickering/infighting between each other. Their participation in the events of the first and second arcs is hinted at several times (the dream that Jadusable has in the first arc where a mask is being forced onto his face is connected to (and may have even been induced by) them, one of the first arc's entries is updated in 2020 which includes an added dialogue sequence similar to the way we see the Maksed Children talk to each other in the videos, Goht in particular is connected to DROWNED, the largely silent admin of the Moon Children website in the second arc,) though the third arc is when their actions are more directly connected to them. In the third arc, a few of them are seen fighting Sarah as their respective bosses so they can appease The Father. They're credited with posting signs that have messages like "GET OUT" written on them (which are similar messages seen when something didn't want players to see a webpage, video, or document in earlier parts of the ARG), and they're regularly hostile to Sarah and call her a monster.

This is most of them together, though Odolwa is missing after their encounter with Sarah. You can see better images of their in-game models here.

Rosa: Rosa is another character I find a bit vague and confusing, because she seems to be dead and inhabiting a non-Majora game in the prologue, but appeared to be alive in the second arc. I don't believe Matt makes any comments about his "sister" being dead, though she also disappeared when players used The Song of Healing, so I'm really not sure... Maybe Matt was dead too? Was everyone on that forum dead when the players discovered it? However, she claims to have previously had power in Majora's Mask, though this ended up being heavily diminished by 2020. Another reason why Rosa is notable is because depictions of BEN as a more uniform collective (such as in iseeyou) often contain feminity to some degree, which is usually credited to her by people trying to make sense of it.

Rosa talking about her previous power over Majora's Mask.

A more feminine image of BEN from end.wmv.

An image of a feminine person (assumed by the Jadusable Wiki editors to be Rosa) used in conjunction with the "canon BEN" image and Kelbris/The Father.

TL;DR: BEN can absorb people and makes them Majora's Mask NPCs (like Alex Mercer!), the BEN page on Jadusable Wiki could probably be renamed to World Alpha, and no, you can't fuck it.

Feel free to ask me any questions about this, the ARG, or Creepypasta in general, and I'll do my best to respond!

[callernumberthree]

Click for Palestine 🇵🇸 : https://arab.org/click-to-help/palestine/

Hey! What’s up? Thanks for coming around!

Pseudonym’s Annie. I’ve got most of my quick info in my bio, if you ever feel inclined to skim it! I’m Bangladeshi and Muslim. I’m also aspec, omnisexual, and pangender. I also am very large and contain multitudes.

This is my main blog! I reblog a lot of stuff I find funny, stuff about the moon, about animals and nature but birds and fish in particular, about community and partnership and overcoming prejudice, about love and family and friends, and about identity and orientation and mental health.

I tag all my posts, replies, and reblogs as accurately as I can. If there are any issues with my tags, post contents, or anything else in my blog, please let me know so I can fix it and make it a more comfortable online space!

I love meeting people! If you'd like to, shoot me a message or an ask and you can be sure I'll respond!

Below is the alphabetically organised guide to my current fandoms and my relationship with them, and to my organisational structure for my tags. It's a long post; keep reading at your own risk!

Fandoms!

Artemis Fowl

I can be safely critical of it nowadays since it's geared towards a younger audience but I respect the solid worldbuilding it portrays, especially for a children's book. Good stuff- I'd still recommend it.

Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared

Again, got into it when I was younger and it kind of burrowed its way into my brain where it rotted, forgotten, for ages until the sudden new season. Not necessarily emotionally invested, but the Three Of Them have my whole heart for sure.

Dungeon Meshi

I got into it VERY recently by binging the manga, and now I'm keeping up with the Netflix adaptation! Obsessed with the solid worldbuilding.

Gravity Falls

Top fandom ever everrrrr. Got obsessed with it as a kid and I’ve never let it go since. I know all the sordid fandom history, all the best and most popular headcanons of current day, and some the most based fanartists and fics. I do a lot of recreational multishipping in my dark and evil mind palace.

My Little Pony

Come on come onnnnn. It's a classic. I have an encyclopaedic and philosophical understanding of the MLP universe. No I will not talk about it.

Percy Jackson

Hey I mean it was pretty formative for me when I was younger. Got me into mythology! I'm critical of it nowadays but I cannot deny the positive impact it had on me. Good stuff! Haven't and probably won't watch the new live adaptation.

Piranesi

Read it VERY recently. Made me very existential for a while. However, the books I am emotionally invested in change on a monthly basis. Expect the title to switch in a little bit.

Welcome to Night Vale

I got into it half a year ago and it literally changed my brain chemistry. One of my forever fandoms for sure. An astute Aubergine truther, I am.

Tag Organisation Guide!

Annie’s Anomalous Affairs:

#annie’s aberrant abominations - there’s very little content in this tag. OC tag; I don’t reaaaally talk about my OCs though so don’t worry about it. It’s mostly stuff I reblog to help character build anyway. I’ll list the subtags for individual OCs below as they appear on my blog.

#abomination: Danny #abomination: Hannah #abomination: Hedon #abomination: Lola #abomination: Spring #abomination: Teresa

#annie adores advice - there’s a LOT of content in this tag. Advice or awareness spreading I reblog that I think will help me live easier, or to signal boost so people who need it can use it.

#annie attempts art - my art! At least up until now I’ve drawn purely on Procreate so it’s all digital medium.

#annie awakened - a tag specifically for answering asks and mentions! Nothing important there, just some fun with cool people online. Long post warning for most of the content there.

#annie awkwardly articulates - my posts! I talk about my thoughts and experiences, or I’ll be talking with some pals online.

#authentic annie appearances - screenshots of text conversations with my friends.

Annie Appreciates…:

#birdposting - just the same; reblogging cool and/or funny posts about birds! I love birds. Love their behaviour, love how they evolve, love eating them. I try to include the species of bird in the tags whenever I can!

#boys will be boys - I use this tag whenever I am appreciating masculinity! This includes folks being silly, being kind, being geeky, and all around being. Often accompanied by the “girl moment” tag (elaborated on below). This is because I see beautiful and unique representations of femininity and masculinity in almost everything and everyone.

#classic - tag for infamous Tumblr posts that I archive for myself! Gotta collect those heritage posts, man. Can’t have a blog without the colour of the sky.

#classic + #to me - iconic Tumblr posts that feel like they should be infamous but aren’t for some reason.

#fishposting - you guessed it; reblogging cool and/or funny posts about fish! I love fish. Love their biology, love how they look, love eating them. I try to include the species of fish in the tags whenever I can!

#girl moment - I use this tag whenever I am appreciating femininity! This includes folks being silly, being kind, being geeky, and all around being. Often accompanied by the “boys will be boys” tag (elaborated on above). This is because I see beautiful and unique representations of femininity and masculinity in almost everything and everyone.

#later gator - the tag I use to save things (usually videos) to look at later when I’m scrolling tumblr at double-time (or have my volume on), probably because I’m at work.

#my romantic wife - that’s the moon! I adore the moon, it’s unmatched (tag not to be confused with the term I often use, “my platonic wife”, elaborated on below)!

#number - tag for things that I think are attractive, ranging from various drawings of people (not images, I’m not comfortable publicly thirsting after living individuals) to standard-ATX motherboards.

#take me out to dinner first - tag for scheduled posts that have something to do with the date of the day.

Annie’s Associates:

#DNA double felix-cipher - tag for tumblr user @toytanks, Felix-Cipher. The tag is a play on the term “double helix structure”.

#my froinds :3 - I talk about or reblog posts that remind me of my friends! My friends are very important to me and I love them so so much. If I’m using this tag I’m talking about my irl pals.

#sarufiyyun - tag for tumblr user @biblicallyaccuratechicken, Seraph-Chim, who’s angelkin. Sarufiyyun is the Islamic term for Seraphim.

#the coworker - this very specific colleague I have who who is pretty eccentric.

#the spouse - this is “my platonic wife” (not to be confused with the tag “my romantic wife”, elaborated on above)! My best friend who I’ve known for nearly two decades. I have a special tag for her because I have a special relationship with her. Sometimes I will be a little sulky about her, but hey, marriage has its ups and downs!

Annie’s Avocations:

#art reference - what it says on the tin. Step by step guides or simple diagrams of art tips; whatever helps me draw!

#recipes - I feel like I should throw this tag in here now that I have at least two or three reblogs for it. Cool recipes for cool food I’d like to make one day.

#tutorial - tutorials for anything at all! I eat life advice for every meal.

#writing - yes, I have nothing to show for it on here, but I’m a writer! Tag for writing tips and also inspiration.

That's all, folks! Have a good one!

[16ruedelaverrerie]

hello! i absolutely loved reading Les Mignardises (thank you for sharing it with all of us), and was wondering if you’d be open to sharing how you learned So Damn Much about food and drink and the pairings thereof? the whole fic was the literary equivalent of a feast for the senses and clearly came from a place of comfortable expertise (or at least extensive knowledge), and as someone who sits in that funky zone of being unable to drink but madly passionate about culinary conquests, i’d love to learn more! thank you!

I wish you could know how much this means to me! I wish that your mirror neurons could feel every stabby pang of joyful gratitude and keen inadequacy that your message has elicited in me! I wish that YOU COULD HURT IN PRECISELY ALL THE MARVELOUS WAYS THAT THIS MESSAGE HAS HURT ME!

Although you are much too gracious to put me in my rightful place, I think that I would probably be more accurately described as a... person on the enthusiast end of the thoroughly amateur scale, when it comes to food and wine. I can't say that I know all that much, where the rubber meets the road-- but I do love it, and I do intake a LOT of media related to it. Perhaps that's the only practical thought I have with regard to how to learn about food and drink; at a remove from professional hands-on experience, repeated exposure to media and actual food is the surest way there is of being more immersed in it! At the end of last year I made a list of the tv shows I'd watched in 2023, and it was just... various series of Taskmaster and then ALL FOOD/DRINK SHOWS FROM HEAD TO TOE. I guess it's sort of a lifelong hyperfixation.

Another less practical, but more theoretical thing is that I am of the party that believes that a poem is not like a frog; you cannot kill it by taking it apart. That's the way I feel about food and drink, too. Unlike the dissection of a living thing, I think that taking apart literature or a flavor profile into what you consider to be its component pieces is less about stopping its functions so that you can observe it. I think it's much more about the journey of attempting to ask a shaky, difficult, potentially unanswerable question: What about this makes you feel towards it the way that you do? Why does a poem, or a dish, or a drink, or a pairing, make you react the way that you react? It doesn't matter whether the answer you come up with is correct or not, because there's no such thing as a correct answer. It's that you're letting the question guide you through asking questions about yourself, and about the poem, the dish, the drink, the pairing. You're not any closer to solving anything, by the end of it, but you've asked good questions and you've allowed yourself the luxury of thought. Even outside of food and drink, I'm the kind of person who spends a ton of time thinking about why they like what they like. This is not necessarily a virtue! I've gotten into arguments with loved ones because I've demanded that they explain their tastes to me in detail! But we are who we are, and when I build an egg salad, I look forward to interrogating myself over what I'm doing with the mustard, the dill, the paprika, the potato chips.

I feel like the thread is getting away from me a bit because I am answering this on a hefty amount of pretty enjoyable Slovenian rosé. I suppose my point is, whenever I encounter a recipe, or a restaurant dish, or a glass of wine, I want to know what goes into it, and I wonder what it is about those pieces and that whole that makes me feel the way that I do. I like thinking about the layers of flavor in food and drink, what notes have earthy depth and which ones pierce up top, which are quick to hit the palate and which linger after you swallow, and what impression that tonal interaction of spatiality and temporality leaves on you. This kind of structuralist thinking is helpful for me, for example, in navigating pairing puzzles: sugar level in drink alongside spice level in food, acidity in drink alongside salt in food, tannin in drink alongside fat in food. Thinking about balance and relationality was a good starting point for me.

There are so many good wine education resources out there nowadays, I think you could get a lot of information about pairings even without needing to drink! (I used to listen to Wine for Normal People by Elizabeth Schneider a lot, though I fell off.) But even if you are more interested in putting dishes together rather than the drink side of it all, I think balance and relationality are equally effective markers for thinking about food alone. After all, that is pretty much the driving force of something like Samin Nosrat's Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat-- why elements matter, separately and together.

MY SLOVENIAN ROSE-INDUCED VERBOSITY ASIDE, I do need you to recognize that you have been very kind to me in sending in this askbox message, and that I would be more than delighted to keep bouncing thoughts back and forth with you on this matter, even perhaps with increased lucidity on my part in the future. I just think it's so neat that you read a story about Nines gritting his teeth for several months until he finally fucks Gavin through a dilapidated couch in the back of a failing restaurant... and then indulged me by coming here and allowing me to talk about food and wine. It's just so nice of you. Thank you. Tell me what you like to eat. Did I mention that I wish you could feel as scraped raw in the face of grace as I do in the wake of your message? SERIOUSLY I NEED YOU TO KNOW THIS, I WOULDN'T EVEN BE ON THIS PLATFORM OR IN FANDOM ANYMORE IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU TALKING TO ME

[apas-95]

This probably sounds really weird and silly but how can a petty bourgeois help? Like, if one was able to identify that they are part of the petty bourgeois and wanted to help the proletariat, how could they do it?

It's not silly, and I think it's an important question that exposes some of the common misconceptions about class and socialism.

Class influences occur more on the broad scale - like psychohistory, material analysis becomes more accurate the larger the scale of analysis is, because the random fluctuations of individuals cancel out. A million people who hear someone yell 'fire!' will, on the whole, run from the building, but any individual person might respond in any number of ways. However, on the other hand, the material incentives that drive class interest always exist for the individual - it will always be more reasonable for any individual with wealth to be protective of that wealth than otherwise, and it will be easier to buy into certain ideological frameworks.

Taking these two facts, we can understand that what is important, on the individual level, is whether someone takes the side of the proletariat, not, necessarily, whether they are strictly proletarian themselves. Friedrich Engels was of bourgeois stock, and many revolutionaries were technically-educated and literate in times when those things conveyed some level of privilege. The question here is not one of a metaphysical, innate moral Good ascribed to proletarians, and innate moral Evil ascribed to the bourgeois - it is a practical one, based on who will favour, support, and work for progress, and those who will resist, be hostile to, and sabotage progress.

On the wide scale, that question can be resolved by class analysis, but, again, this is not a pre-emptive moral indictment of individuals. At the end of the day, human beings, despite existing in an environment which will make certain choices more beneficial, are free to make their own choices. It is making those choices that matter - forgoing your class interest, your personal wealth and advancement, for what benefits social progress, which is to say, the socialist movement. Avoid opportunism - act as though achieving wealth or great success is impossible.

In practical terms, this can mean taking a technical education - post-revolution, there is often a massive dearth of technical intellectuals willing to work with the socialist state, and concessions and appeasements to these intellectuals, to keep hospitals, factories, and power plants running, is often a massive political strain. Get experience in political organising - join a local communist party, even a backwards one, and engage critically with it, learn how it functions, what its problems are. In general, use the time and flexibility afforded to you for purposes other than personal gain.

[queenlucythevaliant]

Here's what I'll say regarding choice of worship music (and I'm not 100% sure where I'm going with this, so bear with me): I think it's very easy to get burned out on specific kinds of worship, no matter what they are. And that kind of burn-out is hard.

I grew up at a church that did 95% CCM for worship, and after a while it either (a) exhausted me emotionally or (b) bored me. By the time I hit high school, I really really struggled with corporate worship because it felt as though I wasn't responding as I was supposed to. Getting to sing mostly hymns at the church I attended at college was a huge breath of fresh air, and it helped me immensely in terms of re-orienting my heart towards Christ-centered worship (as opposed to me-centered worship.) For the first time in my life, I found myself listening to Christian music on my own time during the week.

I watched the recent Jesus Revolution movie with mom over the summer. Her family started attending Calvary Chapel (then-nascent hippy church in Orange County) midway through her childhood, and she got really excited talking about the difference between the hymns she remembered from early elementary school ("we sang the whole hymnal rather than selecting for the really good ones like they do at your church") and the much more dynamic music that came out of Maranatha and other early "contemporary" Christian groups. She actually played me a whole bunch of the songs she grew up with the next morning. They sounded horrifically cheesy to me, but she got real joy out of it and even ended up texting a few songs to my aunt.

And yet, my mom has remarked a whole bunch of times to me that she really can't stand current CCM; that she desperately misses singing the old hymns. I look at myself and my own experience and I can totally see myself coming back to some of the CCM songs I grew up with and encountering Christ through them all new again. As recently as last month, I had a really beautiful experience driving back from a concert crazy late at night with my sister and listening to some of the old Chris Tomlin and Hillsong stuff that I hadn't heard in a while. It brought me back to a sense of incredible comfort and safety nestled up against God like a baby chick. Do I want to worship with that sort of music every week right now? No, definitely not. But it has its place.

Obviously worship transcends something as incidental as music genre. It's an expression of why we were created: glorifying God and enjoying him forever --- and yet, because of the fall, it's really easy to get burned out on specific expressions of worship. I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing so much as just a symptom of the fall. I also think that people who are really burned out on a particular kind of worship can be really, really obnoxious about it. I know I was for a while, and I still definitely have my hangups with CCM.

But like- I don't think it's so much about judgement or superiority towards the kind of worship music that you're burnt out on as it is just the overwhelming sense that that kind of worship music felt exhausting and this kind of music actually feels like I'm able to worship again. I know when I started singing hymns at church, it just felt like I'd found the Rosetta Stone. I was suddenly so much less in my own head on Sunday mornings and oh my goodness singing to God was a joy again and I can't remember but I don't think it's ever been a joy like this before has it?? It was almost like my head was spinning with some great new revelation and when I was obnoxious about it it was mostly a manifestation of my being like Why didn't anyone ever tell me it could be like this? Why isn't everyone singing hymns? It's just so much better this way!

Mostly, it just feels like saying "don't be overly critical of how other Christians like to worship" kind of. Misses the trees for the forest, if that makes sense? Like, it's accurate to the big picture, it's absolutely a true and worthwhile thing to say. But at the same time it kind of rankles for me because it misses how it feels to be truly and deeply alienated by the kind of worship you're exposed to.

For better and for worse, worship is (I think) the spiritual discipline that engages the emotions most directly. The feeling of being in a group of people all worshipping together, and your heart just isn't responding right no matter how you try to re-focus and orient it? It's one of the loneliest feelings I know.

[smytherines]

for the choose violence ask game, 3 and 25

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

For me, its the "Owen was probably even worse before the fall" one. I disagree with it, but it's whatever, I don't hold any ill will towards them or anything we just have very different interpretations

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

I dunno if this is common necessarily, but I have seen it pop up a few times: that theorizing about what Owen's post-fall experience might have been like is creating a trauma for him that does not exist in canon

I think pretty much everyone in the fandom can agree that the fall was a very traumatic event for Curt, that it destroys his life and sense of self, that it devastates him mentally and emotionally. He's our protagonist, we can see the effect the fall had on him, so we're all in agreement that it fucked him up (understandably)

But there is sometimes a tendency in the fandom to minimize Owen's experience after the fall, or erase it entirely. Like people saying he faked his death (no he did not), or that he was totally fine after the fall and wanted revenge purely to be a petty bitch about nothing more than a bad breakup. And that's weird to me, because even strictly in canon what happened to Owen is at the very least equally traumatic for him. He falls far enough that it is reasonable for Curt to assume (with barely a glance) that Owen is either dead or dying, or that Curt simply does not have time to get to him, Curt leaves Owen for dead, then the building explodes. I think that alone, with no additional details, is enough to severely fuck a person up. At the very least on par with what Curt goes through in his four year grieving period

And the more detail you add in, the more the line "the horror of staying alive" makes sense. So if we include the Joey Richter tweets (which I think it's reasonable to at least discuss them, he is one of the co-writers) then it looks like Owen fell about two stories (so probably 20-30ft) onto what is presumably an iron or steel structure. That's automatically... many, many injuries. The most likely in a fall being broken bones, spiral cord injuries, and traumatic brain injuries. Plus probably burns because explosion. Then we have this:

So if we add in the possibility of Owen being captured by the Russians and bailed out/nursed to health (and "groomed"???) by Chimera, then things start to get a whole lot more horrifying

I think its very fair to debate the effects this sequence of events has on him and to what degree they explain and/or mitigate his actions, but in my opinion it is not reasonable to deny they happened at all. At the very least the baseline of "a fucked up thing happened and they are both profoundly fucked up by it" is the most accurate way to describe the canon events of the show

And then strictly on a personal level, thinking about what Owen's experience could have been like being severely injured in Russian custody and then being bailed out by Chimera, that's very interesting to me. I love picking apart characters, especially ones who -- in the real world, at least-- would be disabled. I'm personally very interested in how pain and injury and illness impact people, how isolation and heartbreak and being dependant on someone else for your survival can do some incredibly fucked up things to a person. Analysis is fun! And there absolutely is a canon traumatic event to analyze when it comes to Owen

[brother-one]

[Twitter repost]

Just because something was the last straw for me today...

On Kainé's intersexuality:

A (long) post, from an intersex person to you 💛💜💛

First of all! Why am I making this post?

I hope it doesn't seem out of nowhere, but let's start bit by bit.

I am making it not because I'm mad at anyone, but because I genuinely want you all to learn about who Kaine as a person, how she can be interpreted, and most details that can be taken and associated to her intersexuality, from an intersex perspective. There's A LOT of things I want to address in this thread, not necessarily all of them negative, but I do think the NieR fandom as a whole needs to get educated on intersexuality.

I can't speak over every single intersex person, but I can give my insight on this.

Now, the first thing I want to address:

1- Kainé, intersexuality AND transness.

Why is this first? Well, because there's a really big issue hiding in plain sight here: Intersexism, and therefore intersex erasure.

First on this, a detail that a lot of you know about, and yet it's not even close to EVERYONE knowing it: The use of the word "hermaphrodite" for an intersex person. Even if it's widely accepted by people as a whole, it is a slur against intersex people and even if some DO reclaim it, its casual use is not correct whenever you employ it to refer to an intersex individual, be it fictional or not. Not only is it considered insensitive, but it's also heavily inaccurate whenever used to describe an intersex individual, even if it may be in fact accurate for, in this case, Kainé.

It is a word a lot of us are uncomfortable with, and seeing a character who is one of the very rare cases of representation being associated with it doesn't really make it better. Especially since being intersex isn't just about the genital differences, but hormonal differences and such. Anything that doesn't conform to the SEX binary is considered intersex, usually also known as hyperandrogenism. I've seen people frequently agreeing that even PCOS can be considered an intersex condition, so there's also that.

Next, is the reduction of Kainé to either a transgender woman, or a transfem individual.

While these headcanons are completely okay and I personally have never minded them, there is an issue hiding here too.

It seems that people either don't care enough about intersex issues to do proper research, or they're blissfully ignorant about general facts on intersexuality.

Some of these facts are:

- Intersexuality isn't a "third sex" or an in between.

- Intersexuality does not NECESSARILY have to do anything with one's gender identity.

- It is completely, and I repeat, COMPLETELY okay to just call someone "intersex".

- Not every intersex person is transgender. Cisgender intersex people exist.

- Even if trans people and intersex people may relate to the other in certain aspects, they're nowhere close to being the same, or to share the exact same experiences.

- Every intersex person experiences gender and life differently.

- There are many, and I say, MANY different intersex conditions.

- Intersexuality is way more frequent than you may think.

And many other facts, really, but they would pretty much need another entire, separate thread to be listed.

Now, where's the issue I want to approach here?

Explained simply to non-intersex people:

Turning a headcanon like trans Kainé into something so widespread not only gives a totally different idea of what her character is from the start, but also gives a place for intersexism to rise. It is a way to force us intersex people into conforming within a system, a binary that EXCLUDES US and always has from the start. Because yes, the current ideas of identity are wrongly still binary.

I thought Kainé was trans from the start. I thought it was extremely cool to have such representation, being also a fellow trans person myself. Then I discovered she's intersex.

Then, everything felt unfair.

To have such an idea of something, then discovering the reality is very different to that idea didn’t feel right. Not because transness is bad because, again, I am trans myself, but because that just feels like everyone is forcing her into transness, when it doesn't have to be like that.

Intersexuality and transness can coexist without problem, the problem only manifests itself when you do not give those two the opportunity to even try and coexist. It is already hard by itself to embrace your body as an intersex person, and personally topping that with transness only makes it more of a struggle. And yet, in the end, everyone's experiences, feelings and identity will always be different to one another. Intersex people can decide to stay as the gender they were assigned (keyword here being assigned) at birth, they can decide to transition (or maybe they could've transitioned way before discovering the fact they're intersex), and they can also decide to just be intergender.

Our experiences and relationship with our body, and the way we perceive ourselves may be similar to the one of, say, a perisex transgender individual, but there will always be a gap between both.

To finish up with the first point, the general objective with this:

I want you all to understand that, while trans people need representation, it's not okay to erase intersexuality or to try and make us fit into your concept of identity. Intersex people are already stigmatized enough, and the last thing we need is erasure. Our voices as a whole are already heavily ignored, so the least we can ask from you is to not erase us. You can keep your headcanons (I encourage so!), but PLEASE don't forget about Kainé's intersexuality. Intersex representation is extremely important and needed, even if the character’s intersexuality may not be handled in the best way sometimes.

In summary:

That is pretty much it for the first point. Now, on to the second:

2- Kainé and body dysphoria.

Here comes a very important part, too.

Some parts of her character and dialogue can be interpreted as dysphoria, and also as a way of showing rejection towards another aspect of her body, since it’s possessed by a shade.

A very important dialogue in the first fight against Hook that I originally interpreted as body dysphoria is:

“She gave me the strength to deal with this goddamn mutant body! Do you know how long I’ve been like this? How much I loathe myself?”

This dialogue has been in my mind ever since I first played. And I still strongly believe it can be interpreted as dysphoria, I just acquired a different perspective on it after finishing NIER and doing a dive into what she is, as a character. While I don’t believe I have the deepest understanding of her, I think I have the main aspects of her character clear.

No one in the world could understand her.

Yet another thing on her I believe is important, is this:

“A heart and body in constant conflict.

Now, and even if she may or may not have dysphoria, here’s something that I think should be spoken of way more often - the fact that dysphoria doesn’t make you transgender. Even if it may be considered necessary in order to get certain medical treatments in the case of trans people, having dysphoria doesn’t make you trans, and not having dysphoria doesn’t make you not trans, either.

And loneliness was eating her alive.”

Because while it may not be part of, say, a main storyline game, if we talk about NieR (it comes from SINoALICE!), it does give us a really interesting sight into her. Even if it may probably refer to her struggle as being possessed, it sounds very familiar to the experience I know as dysphoria.

Kainé’s hatred for her body exists in a way where many reasons for it overlap. I think it could be narrowed down and represented like this:

I think it’s very important to note that Kainé, as a gestalt, wasn’t intersex. Somewhere in the process there was an error that made Kainé, as a replicant, intersex. Which doesn’t sound very good, if you think about it, but it gives you room to think about Kainé a bit differently.

Which takes us to my third (and probably last) point:

3- Kainé and identity.

Carrying on from a detail in the last point, we can see a clear, yet maybe not intentional mistake in her writing. The error of her becoming intersex.

While it can be read as intersexism, it is also rather understandable - mistakes and errors happen, especially if we talk about literally separating soul from body, and considering the fact that there were more defects in the transformation process too. Another very important fact that comes into picture is the different ‘generations’ of replicants, and the way that there have been multiple Kainés over time. So probably, since the system was already long-running by that point, that could be the reason for it.

Still, if we’re taking it the intersexism way - we have to understand that it is not and it will NEVER be caused by some kind of “error” or mistake, even if people have chosen to see it that way for a long time now. It is not an inconvenience nor is it something not meant to happen. It IS meant to happen, and there is much evidence that sex is variant - could go from slight differences, to more “noticeable” ones. Not just in humans, but in animals too.

People want to change something that just happens, that always has. In here, I beg you to take into account the fact that intersex CHILDREN are forced to go through surgeries to make them fit into the sex binary. Children are bullied, hated and seen as freaks just because they were born different. 

Sounds terrible, yes ? Well, thanks to this, many intersex people often feel more comfortable identifying as their own gender - intergender. Others stay cis, and others feel more identified with the term transgender.

Kainé is a hard to figure out case, since she had been and identified as a woman from the start, as much as she had been dehumanized or degraded by others. Because they didn’t even call her a man, for they didn’t think she was deserving of that. She wasn’t deserving of a gender - she was a freak, and that was all of it. Though it is a struggle that a lot of trans people go through too, for intersex people it often comes from society as a whole.

The rejection intersex people go through is there from birth, and the eagerness from others (who don’t even have the right) to change it is too. And as much as it follows us through life, as similar as it may be to trans struggles, it is not and it will never be the same.

For that, trans and intersex people have to stand together, but sometimes that feels like too much to ask of the community.

Because intersex people, much like ace or aro people, are often ignored in queer spaces (or not considered at all, for that matter). It is harsh.

But then there are the intersex trans people, who use both terms. The cis intersex people, the intergender people, the intersex people who chose not to bother with gender…

So that is, too, one reason why lots of intersex individuals choose to not call themselves trans, as much as they may identify with the term. Or the complete opposite, choosing to present themselves as transgender, as to not have to bear with the load that is being intersex sometimes.

After some time of knowing her, I think canon Kainé fits into the cis intersex category by a lot - considering she has always identified and KNOWN she is a woman. But of course, that is canon.

You are free not to, I can’t stop you. But I think that, if you’re perisex and trans, it shows the way you are with the people who have stood with you since always. To not recognize our existence is to not recognize a part of what brought all of us trans people to where we are.

My headcanon? Trans, intersex woman. Not hard or complicated, is it ?

And that is the way it should be, if you want to listen to intersex people. To listen to our voices.

So, please, if you care about us - don’t take away from intersex people what we have struggled so much to even get.

To close this thread, I just have to say: Thank you for reading, I hope you could at least learn something or get a bit of perspective on to what being an intersex person is like, and a bit of interpretation about Kainé from one.

If you want to go ahead and follow what I’ve said on it, you have a forever thanks from me. Happy pride month guys <3

[yikes-strikes-again]

highlights from my adventures in Area X, totally blind the whole time until i finished Acceptance. Spoilers for all of it.

me being neurotic about spoilers (this is a common theme)

obsessed with how this is my first instance of theorizing. the last two sentences are eerily accurate and i can't believe i said "alien planet" that's hilarious

this is good analysis too bad i was missing a key piece of information that makes my inadequate conclusion actually make sense

middle of Annihilation, first attempt at analyzing Where lies...this is actually pretty close to what I think about the tower text Now except missing the parts that would have never occurred to me without reading further (that the Crawler is Saul and that Area X is not on earth).

aw this is so cute. They don't even know about the first expedition footage with the sky leviathan POV (i have a pet theory that SR used that clip specifically to brainwash the husband. this is supported by his anecdote of falsely attributing memory to lived experience when its origin was television, as a young child)

i was so right

this is so funny. you are like a little baby

this is still Based

The Antics

this theory is so fucking funny considering how much grace hates lowry

this was like the least brutal of my Control roasts. they ramped up considerably in Acceptance

then i stopped reading the trilogy for eight months and had to start over Authority. but i still thought about it. this is me thinking about it.

This was me like a third of the way into Authority. What the fuck. It's not that creepy when you consider the information dispensed by that point but it's still kind of creepy how accurate my actual predictions were when my ideas were still wrong

then i went to sleep and

so true, me. So righteously true. magic IS real and it's coming to fuck up your town

Future me here: Yea it was a red herring

More Control roasts:

CALL ME IMPORTANT THAT'S MY NAME

Fragment of my "Area X clones are agents of germination" theory. I felt so smart at the end of Authority. So in Control if you will. And then

it was fucking life changing. the homosexuals that they were

first drama in the gc...

This is when the amount of Divine Knowledge brought to me by Accemptance started to get to my consciousness. Once i start saying phrases like "the virgin control and the chad ghost bird" and "the Caroline to his GlaDOS" and "everyone is a clone of a clone of a clone of a clone" that's when you know i've lost the thread

more disjointed quotes because i ran out of images:

"the BASED control vs. the CRINGE everyone else is no longer the dynamic because he's not narrating. i feel like i just broke up with him" "so does ghost bird probably"

"The time dilation really came out of left field. Kind of like a "well shit. thats a hell of a mystery no one thought was a mystery and didnt even really need solving. but damn if it didnt just get solved so nice work"" <- me forgetting how hard i tried to solve the mystery of the cellar journals compost

"When they see that reflection of themselves, they despise it, they need to destroy it This series is about environmentalism as much as it could be The need to make Area X an enemy with a pathological desire to destroy says more about the humans than it does Area X. When they see themselves, they hate so much what they see. But I don't think Area X necessarily hates humans at all. Only the biologist/Ghost Bird can even seem to contemplate that. Maybe Whitby could, briefly, in his endless circular ramblings, but that did not quell his fear and hatred for himself" <- rumination on automatic senseless clone violence

at one point i got whiplash from the Grumpy emotion i got from biologist's borderline ecofascism to the Intense Bittersweet of Saul's fatherly attachment to Gloria in light of everything and then the Pain of trying so hard not to laugh at the thought of someone saying "Don't talk to me like I'm an idiot, I'm aware this looks strange" in response to being caught washing a mouse

"phone creature even BETTER than mouse washing" I characterized the phone creature as "little Lowry - his son that he doesn't want" because that amuses me forever

i love how i'm like "i could pass on more of lowry, i'm so sick of that guy" and then proceed to write four Thousand words of meta about him. i like the Theory of lowry. he's a horrible broken man who throws drinks at milves

and i love imagining that everyone who comes back from Area X is a clone no matter what not because that makes any sense but because i get to imagine two versions of every character. i'm like "i love the idea of Lowry being a clone all this time and somehow being protected from the fact by a quirk of his creation. And that he's imperfect compared to Original Lowry in odd ways but SR just chalked up his change to the intense trauma of the event, and if it ever seriously occurred to them they decided it didn't really matter. And if he knew. I don't know what he'd do And real Lowry is a megalodon in the ocean terrorizing plankton instead of lower-tier bureaucrats"

another thought: "I still love the thing that stitches across the sky. I think it's an avian cosmic leviathan, as the biologist is an amphibious cosmic leviathan. You could call it a dragon."

i ended up with a pretty secure Grand Unifying Theory that isn't interesting because you probably all have the same one. It's about the process

my final words of wisdom:

that's the books.

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Carmen Anthony Berzatto, do we have a mental health problem?

You might wanna read this for context first.

I’m gonna get academic boring for a whole minute here, so feel free to just skip right to my point at the bottom.

Whilst Carmy definitely has mommy issues, and even daddy issues as well, plus he has sublimated his sexual attraction for Syd in getting a bullshit star for her as explained and predicted here, which triggered a relapse in his addition (workaholism), as I described and predicted here. That behavior, like any addiction, is in essence a repressed sexual impulse (according to Freud). According to other experts, addiction can, in essence, be considered a neurosis (more based on Jung’s concept, which is more advanced than Freud’s but does integrate it) and all of those concepts are Freudian and thus psychoanalytical, there’s a reason why IRL psychoanalysis is not the line of treatment used to treat neither addiction nor any of the other conditions Carmy has, such as C-PTSD, burnout syndrome, etc., all the other stuff I mentioned here in the extended version. What I didn’t mention there is Carmy’s neurodivergency, AUADHD (educated observation based on Carmy’s monologue in S1 and basically Carmy’s behavior during THE WHOLE SERIES and his untrained and innate talent in the arts that leads to alienation, etc) because neurodivergencies are not mental health issues, necessarily, so they shouldn’t be put on that list.

Carmy’s case is a clear case that IRL would be treated with a combo of Systemic Therapy + the classic line of treatment for addiction based on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) + what nowadays is starting to be also paired with neuroscience therapy (NT) and giving very positive results. I won’t bore you even further with the figures but they can easily be found online.

My point is: The Bear, the name of the show, represents not just Carmy Berzatto, The Bear, but also the place where many souls come together to interact with each other and all those lives are going to intrinsically be changed by that experience, that has The Bear in common. Thus the show as a whole, including all of its characters, of course, is SYSTEMIC, which is the opposite of the Psychoanalytic approach. And it's super important to take this into account because the systemic approach in mental health and in every other field where it's applied, like in business, or even education, etc is an approach in which everything is viewed as part of a whole, it's basically like a continuous dance between the individual personal perception and it's environment and how they both affect each other, whereas the psychoanalysis' ultimate goal is getting as deep in the individual psyche as possible, dive into the individual's deepest unconscious.

In case you are wondering, I do have the credentials but I'm also and most importantly, one of those who believe that you don't need credentials to discuss mental health, and this show is among other stuff very much about mental health. What you need is the desire to be aware of it and as a matter of fact, I strongly advocate IRL for mental health to be actively talked about in class since elementary school and included as part of the curricular activities throughout the entirety of the school years, all the way to Senior year. Basically, I'm all for even kids with no Elementary education credentials talking about mental health. Mental Health shouldn't be an elite topic, or taboo, or necessarily a "problem". That doesn't mean that misinformation should be spread, clearly, and I have seen A LOT OF IT AROUND HERE LATELY WHICH DROVE ME NUTS, but it does mean that the fact that I have plenty of credentials to talk about this matter, is not the point.

So, back to my point: when those kids go out into the "adult world" they not only have an accurate self-awareness about their own mental health, but they also have more empathy for others and tools to cope with what we all know they will have to cope at some point in a world that is far from perfect, but most importantly have compassion. All of this to say: cases like Carmy's, Donna's, Michael's, Chef Fields, etc could be prevented or not as dramatic if we'd look at mental health as "a must" to be dealt with from a very young age, at home, school, later at work, etc. We shouldn't talk about it only if there's a problem that moves us to go and get help, or that makes us wanna go to therapy. NO! Mental health awareness can be as simple as a breakfast at home where we actually talk and listen for a few minutes while we have that cup of coffee or dig into that bowl of cereal, mental health awareness can be us watching The Bear as a family and using that space to vent about how we see ourselves or our families represented by that scene on the screen, mental health awareness can be us choosing not to lash out at someone WHO DESERVES IT BC THEY ARE BEING A BULLY or trying to get attention in a passive-aggressive way and rather set healthy boundaries, this can be practiced online or offline, of course. Mental health awareness is understanding -or trying our best to- that the person we are interacting in one way or the other with, can very well be in this headspace:

I said understand, not necessarily tolerate. But that understanding based on compassion can change it all. That is my point.

Bonus track: I am still mad at Storer but I forgave him, kinda like what Syd keeps doing with Carm because she gets what I just said, she's a natural. BUT Storer is still, and will always be, my spirit animal because he portrayed mental health like I have never seen on TV before. No misstep he takes, and he did take a few this last season, will ever undo the amazing job he did in the past, and I will always be grateful to him for that. He started a conversation that was loooooooooooong overdue.

[josiebelladonna]

“People who are sex-positive see sex as normal and healthy. They are also willing to learn more about their bodies and those of others. Topics of interest can also include ones such as consent, intimacy, and sex communication.” (believe it or not, i actually do want to learn more: it’s why i keep going back to this, why i keep spiraling and returning to my depression anxiety angst bad memories insecurities old wounds… everything, why i keep wanting to do kinktober and write smut. it’s seeing this definition here and for some reason, it just doesn’t click with me. there’s a weird mismatch between feeling and seeing, and it’s difficult to fully put into words. and i don’t know how to define sex, either, other than maybe its dictionary definition. it’s just a thing that happens that, for whatever reason, people go absolutely apeshit over).

“It also means they're open to embracing and exploring their sexuality and that of others respectfully, non-judgmentally, and without shame. Components of that sexuality can include sexual behavior, gender, sexual identity, and anatomy.” (and… you know, i don’t want to be ashamed. i want to be comfortable. the problem is—and i see this so much, too, it’s baffling to me how much i see this—i worry about being so goddamn ~confident~ that i become insufferable. you know what i’m talking about. the kinktober tag is a good example of this. bullie eilish (ha) is another example of this. this article is another example. the green druidess was an odd example of this: she’d do this but she would play up the role of “i’m a braindead idiot” at the same time which—please. something about them annoys you and rubs you the wrong way and makes you wanna slap the shit out of them. i don’t want to be like that.)

“Being sex positive doesn't necessarily mean that you're having an increased frequency of sexual behavior, or sexual encounters, or sexual arousal, but it does mean that you have an openness and a non-judgmental attitude toward engaging in sex, talking about sex, being open to other people talking about sex.” (before the nsfw ban a few years back, and that content was on here with no problems whatsoever, i would have a gander at it, but i wouldn’t reblog it. i couldn’t. and in fact, that’s still how i feel. i go through kink tags on here every once in a while and i feel like i can’t share it because a.) i have kids following me; and b.) even if this was an adults-only place, i still wouldn’t feel right doing it. in fact, i mean it when i say “just get it over with” looking at kinktober coming up. just get my shit out there and don’t think about it anymore. but i also don’t want to think that, either. i want to see this as natural. i don’t know if that makes sense at all. and see, the thing with having kids following you is… they’re going to have to learn about this at some point or another, and the island is getting smaller for all of us. someone needs to be sex-positive—and someone who isn’t an antisemitic bitch, either, because this is another horrible trend i’ve been seeing, too).

“Sex positivity doesn't only have to do with sex-positive experiences and ideas. [It] can also be about fighting for people who work in the sex industry, making sure they have equal rights and that their work is decriminalized.” (i’m of the belief that sex work is work—part of it has to do with the fact that i’m from nevada where that’s legal, but also because you have to make money somehow).

“It can include advocating for accurate sex education that is not abstinence-only or fear-based. Sex positivity can also focus on understanding sex in the media—and that sexualized pornography, movies, or ads tend to portray some types of people yet leave others out…” (i’m all for this, too. my god, have i been somewhat sex positive this whole time but never realized it before?)

“Being sex positive can also mean being the person a friend can come out to or go to with ‘their own fears, their own internalized stigma, sometimes their own shame…’ Someone might call you, as a sex-positive person, and say, ‘I'm really nervous about trying this new experience with my partner, and I want to talk to somebody about it.’” (can’t say how badly i want this, tbh. i want this but i look around and see everyone else doing it better).

“Emphasizing consent is always a must. Sex positivity doesn't mean you disregard the need for consent. It's not about encouraging folks to have a certain sexual orientation, minimum or maximum number of partners, or engage in certain behaviors during sex. Expectations and pressure for anything about sexuality is inherently anti-sex positivity." (it’s the weirdest thing, i see people in the kinktober tag who scream at the authors, like CAN IT BE OCTOBER ALREADY I WANT THIS!! it feels weirdly anti-positive to me when i look at it. i don’t do this. i may not understand certain kinks, and i may have the worst time understanding why certain kinks are wildly popular, and i may feel like everyone is shortchanging themselves by shutting out certain kinks or strictly taking requests instead of digging inwards… but i don’t expect anything from anyone.)

“Anyone can be sex-positive. Sex positivity is all about a person's point of view on sex. Sex positivity has little to do with what your sexual behaviors, identities, etc. are and much more about your perspective about sexuality. It doesn't matter if you've had sex with only yourself, a million people, or no one. Sex positivity is a set of values that is inclusive and nurturing of your own and others' sexuality. It's not just for polyamorous and kinky folks." (you sure about this? i’ve come across a fair number of supposedly sex-positive people and it either felt like i was talking to a brick wall or they were harboring something)

“It's important to understand sex and sexual experiences as being personal. We're still grappling with dual realities about sex in this country. We are on one hand obsessed with sexuality, and on the other hand, we are terrified of sexuality. Either end of this spectrum isn't sex positivity. Recognizing the nuances, the lived realities of billions of individuals, each with their own valid truths, now that's sex positivity." (oh, don’t come crying to me about grappling. i know that all too well. knowing just how gray i feel, how i’m not an extremist asshole who wants to eat a girl for lunch… 😂😂😂😂, maybe i really have been sex-positive this whole time but never felt it or realized it)

“Sex has been recognized as a normal part of life that should be talked about and discussed openly. It also helps to identify the culture many Americans were raised in, where we're constantly bombarded with images that sex is something we should think about but never talk about.” (“should be”, easier said than done.)

“…[think] about whether you want to see a therapist, read some books, or visit different websites to help you navigate what being sex-positive will look like for you. Being sex positive doesn't necessarily mean that [you're] going to go and have certain sexual encounters—although if that's something that someone wants to do, that's great and awesome, as long as they're safe, consensual, and communicative.” (i have thought of therapy before—can’t afford it, but i have thought it, though. i worry about getting books because again, am i going to feel bad about myself or am i going to want to punch the author in the back of the head? and the island is getting smaller. the internet is being picked away bit by bit. someone needs to be brave and go out on their own with their own torch before them.)

[goemon-fan]

I know that I have not been active on this account as of late, and I would like to offer an explanation. This may not be necessary, and you may not care, but I feel it would be best to address my shortcomings.

I love writing. I also love Lupin III. When I started this account, I wanted to show my love for a character by sharing my thoughtful analysis on what I believe he stood for.

However, not all of my discussions were necessarily accurate to his character and the show, and I was heavily biased in favor of the traits I saw within him (that he may not have necessarily had) that I also had. Part of it stemmed from desperately wanting a fictional character to mirror my experiences, while part of it was poor media literacy (also, some of my takes were written/thought up when I was 16 and trying to be "deep," so there's that).

From this unfortunate combination, I came up with some out of left field takes, as well as tried to police the fandom for the faults of the source material. I have a drive to want to help communities and those in need, and I have since found that this energy would be better spent on actual charity, education, and action, rather than simply posting on Tumblr.

I have also found that I have thin skin in response to criticism, and cannot handle most of the internet as a whole. I do not like to argue or fight, but, naturally, some of my out of pocket takes led to discussions and disagreement. Although they were minor in hindsight, it hurt my mental health in the moment to the point where I feared sharing my opinion, the whole point of this account.

Upon taking a step back, part of which being because of life and school as a whole, I have since reflected on my ability to accurately understand media, my former need to see myself reflected 100% in my favorite characters, my tendency to make a problem where there wasn't one, and my inability to properly and respectfully handle criticism. I have been reading actual books which have actual discussions to be had, learning of actual problems that real people face, and learned how to help an actual community rather than "help" an online fandom based around cartoon characters.

With all of this being said, I still do like the Lupin III fandom as well as its characters, however I will be redirecting what I put out for the whole internet to see. My writings and discussions started among high school friends, but have since grown more visible, to which I had no experience handling. I will try to respectfully engage in this community, and put proper effort into what I share and say. Thank you.

[sodasa-was-taken]

The problem plaguing cishet romance and the biggest advantage queer romance has over it: A sociology of literature analysis on the history and prevalence of the romance genre

I've gotten some feedback where people have expressed that they thought they didn't like romances but later found out they liked queer romances. I thought it would be fun to go over some inherent differences between cishet and queer relationships in fiction and how they came to be. I've chosen to use cishet instead of straight because I want to make it clear that these things don't necessarily apply if someone in a straight romance is confirmed not to be straight, and they definitely don't apply if one or both are trans.

As usual, I hope you enjoy this.

So, what is the biggest problem with cishet romances? Its ubiquity. The type of relationships depicted in those stories wouldn't be half as problematic if they weren't so prevalent. It'd be one thing if a few stories had some questionable, to say the least, relationships portrayed positively. After all, countless stories have some questionable things in them that go unnoticed by the narrative, but that doesn't mean that people who like those stories can't tell that those things aren't commonplace. Nor does it have to mean that there’s any harm in those people believing those things were accurately portrayed. The times this becomes a problem is when the portrayal of something questionable becomes so widespread that people start to think that it's odd for them not to have this thing in their lives or when a popular work inaccurately portrays something that's already poorly understood and highly stigmatized. This, inversely, is also the main argument against setting requirements for one specific story since one story isn't going to change the world, no matter how popular. Storytelling is one of the most collective forms of expression there is, so what really matters is how much effect it has on other storytellers. Not to mention the role fandoms have in normalizing queer identities as someone who has previously been sheltered learns about different people’s experiences through a common interest.

So, how did cishet become so prevalent? Well, for starters, there used to be a time when a man and a woman getting together was seen as a societal obligation, and whether or not the people involved even liked each other wasn't a concern to anyone. There was also some method to their madness, as this sort of arrangement worked quite well for the societal structure at the time. It made sense to create stories where the justification for someone getting together is that they're a boy and a girl because that was the main requirement in the eyes of society. If anything, the stories often portrayed people choosing to marry someone for their personality, which many historians would say wasn't something people did. At least not typically. Though, who's to say? It's a lot easier to find out what people in the past did than why. The bottom line is that cishet relationships were so prevalent in stories because they were stupidly prevalent within society.

Then there’s the way a lot of cishet relationships are depicted in fiction. It tends to imply what a desired relationship should be like, which at best creates unreasonable expectations and sometimes straight up encourages girls and young women to seek out traits in men that ain’t healthy. Some of the most prominent of these are anger issues, controlling behaviors, and possessiveness. This, too, used to serve a function. How good of function that was is debatable, but the point still stands. Portraying these traits as manageable, at the very least, was a way to prepare girls to be married away to someone who might not treat them the best. Stories managed to do this by reassuring them they could tame their new husbands. The whole “I can fix him” mentality evolved from this. Telling someone repeatedly that they can fix someone by making them fall in love with them tends to make them believe it. This somewhat common delusion results from centuries upon centuries of multi-generational gaslighting. Long ago, believing this could be seen as a form of copium since girls at the time usually didn’t have much of a say in who they got promised away to and were stuck with that person until one of them kicked the bucket. Nowadays, in all the places where girls and women, or those perceived as such, ain’t forced into relationships, this mentality causes nothing but trouble. It should go without saying that if someone doesn’t treat others well, they are not relationship material.  

However, it’s worth noting that this has become less of an issue in recent years as there has been a decline in romance in pop culture, particularly in movies. There’s also been a rise in queer romances in more wide-reaching stories, and male/female relationships have gotten healthier depictions. Although a lot of those consist of people who are not straight, so they’re technically queer relationships too. The only place those outdated ideas consistently persist is in stories targeted toward people who are already used to those kinds of depictions.

Speaking of queer relationships, when it comes to fiction, they tend to avoid these issues. So, why is that? Well, for starters, despite what some bigots might say, it’s a lot harder to avoid being exposed to straight attraction than gay attraction. Many commercials are, in particular, needlessly straight. Also, there isn’t a precedent for two people of the same gender or anyone who isn’t perceived as a man and a woman to be obligated to get together. This leads to authors being less likely to either write or be asked to write a queer romance for the sake of it, which means that the romances in stories that feature queer relationships tend to be more deliberate. Then there’s the casual sexism that’s often brushed off in cishet romance that will more than likely come off as odd if it appeared in a romance between two people of the same gender. For example, it’s not too uncommon for one of the main characters in cishet romances to have had some unfortunate encounters with someone of a different gender, and the character does that thing where they think everyone within a group is the same. Try having a female character think that all women cheat without guaranteeing that it’s going to give someone pause. Unfortunately, internalized misogyny is very much a thing, but the point is that it’s not something people are just going to shrug off.

When it comes to how healthy queer relationships are depicted, it varies greatly from story to story, but when these relationships are extremely toxic, it’s rarely done by accident. There might be some cases where people who have internalized that guys show affection by easily getting angry and being controlling and possessive could see a man being abusive to another man and not see a problem with it. The stories themselves rarely seem to depict a toxic relationship as anything other than a toxic one.

Lastly, the main characters in queer romances rarely seem to be reluctant to spend time together. That’s not to say they always like these others from the get-go, but that one of them is more likely to contemplate murder than think about how they’ll have to be in the other’s vicinity for an extended period of time. If one or more of them has something against the other, it also tends to last only as long as it takes for them to get to know each other. These characters quickly grow fond of each other compared to their cishet counterparts. Forget about spending half a novel for one of them to find out they were wrong about the other; it usually takes a couple of conversations at maximum before they start to enjoy each other’s company. It’s not clear why this is, but it is hilarious to think about.

[fictionalmenaremytype]

Percy Jackson Episode 6 Spoiler!!!!

Percy Jackson episode 6 highlights:

- In Percys' dream, the way Kronos has embodied Percy's old headmaster has so much messaging behind it! It shows that he does not necessarily has more power than Percy, but due to fear of wronging him, he is more powerful.

- The breaking of the fourth wall...shudders!

- Annabeth you're so clever with that prism look at you go! But where tf did u get that from?!?!

- SEAWEED BRAIN

- The first Iris Message!! The way Luke's demeanour immediately changes from hopeful to slightly scared before he covers it again when they say they know who the thief is.

- LUKE HOW DARE YOU BLAME CLARISSE!!!!

- Their argument about what was when is so accurate and shows just how much stress and how abnormal this situation is for everyone.

- "Monday you died in the river." Luke must be so confused...

- "When did you turn into an old married couple?" Annabeth's look is so 'my brother needs to stop meddling with my love life' its actually funny. Luke knows, he's going to go tell Silena. Percabeth was the true bargaining tactic. (Iykyk)

- Ooooh they've already started to mention May?!??!

- Awww Grover helping the animals escape! I always forget about that.

- "this seems dangerous" "they'll be fine..." "I meant the people."

- Annabeth's sass about the Lotus flower! He really isn't observant.

- " You were like 2 seconds ahead of me" sure

- LEVITATING?!?!? Perfect song! It bridges the gap between the older and younger generation. I could imagine this playing in an arcade and a casino separately let alone together.

- "Did you read the Odyssey?" "The graphic Novel. It counts" Yes!!! This is a PSA that Audiobooks and Graphic novels are books and don't let anyone tell you otherwise! (I'm looking at you, year 5 teacher, who told me they didn't count)

- WISE GIRL

- The way Walker said WiseGirl endearingly? Sir knows what he did!

- Don't believe him Grover!

- "if I tell you something do you promise not to make fun of me" "Dude..." it's Giving 'I am never going to make things easy for you, Seaweed brain'

- I was unsure about Lin as Hermes bit I'm not now I think it actually makes sense. I know a lot of people said he's not slutty enough to play Hermes who has the most or second most amount of kid at camp but Hermes doesn't need to be slutty. He's a charmer because he's funny. It's like Joey Tribiani's sister Gina said "you'd like him, he's real funny". And like Joey every child of Hermes to their parent would just be screaming "If you like him you laugh!!!"

- Lin how dare you remind them of their trauma!!!

- HE DID THE DISNEY VILLAIN EYEBROWS

- "Then I feel a lot better about stealing his keys" "exactly...wait what?!?!" I cackled this is brilliant!

- "You picked Hermes' picket???" "I'm multitalente." YES YOU ARE QUEEN!!!

- The Lotus flowers as thing you breathe in is so sinister! The more I think about it the more funked up it is.

- The whole pumping the Lotus flowers thing through the air is so smart! But I find it so ironic that Disney, who are known for putting different smells around restaurants to make you buy their food, are portraying this as evil.

- "Man, Grover got really old."

- FUCKING RUGBY TACKLES GOAT MAN

- Grover in Vr gear is the strangest thing to see

- All those cars from different decade puts things into perspective Jesus.

- "Are we late because of me?" "It's okay, we're going to be okay." Percy stop telling people things are okay when they aren't!!

- Hermes left them a note !!!!!

- PERCY CANT DRIVE OH MY GOD. I know he's 12 but this is still so funny. Truly what it's like to drive a car for the first time with no experience.

- ROAD RAGE PERCY OH MY GOD!

- The way he's looking at Annabeth so accidentally scrapes the car up the wall. He was doing so well until that!

- Oh my god that car scared me I was like, no way are they going to kill Annabeth off before the end of season 1.

- "it's easy to forget what's important when you're alone." Foreshadowing for a certain person on a certain island??

- That nymph (Nereid? Nyad? I get them confused.) Is so scary...more scared of her than I am of Kronos can't lie. Shes beautiful but I'm scared.

- Four Pearls woooh

- I didn't think before that the episode are too short but now I'm starting to. There was so much crammed into this one that there wasn't much time to digest anything before the next thing happened. I'd say there was roughly the same amount that happened in this episode and the last but the last felt more cohesive because it was all about Ares and what Ares needed them to do. I don't know. This probably isn't my favourite episode, but it's still really good.

Spoilers for the snippet at the end of the first credits.

- How is Percy staying behind if they have the right amount of pearls?? This will probably be answered, but I'm just worried that it won't completely make sense.