#its not like it feels bad or anything i just feel kinda. weird abt it idk
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r u the grew up poor never being able to buy the little things in life u always wanted as a kid so now u buy whatever little thing u want as an adult and struggle with saving for the big mandatory thing,
or the grew up poor never being able to buy the little things in life u always wanted as a kid so now u just never buy anything small bcs u had to learn to live without it and constantly try to save for the next big thing in 500 yrs
#everyones been asking what i wanted for my bday and i always say nothing#like i hate the feeling of getting somebody smthing just to get them smthing like personally#it needs to come from the heart for me. if it's for smthing big like a bday#now like getting someone a coffee judt to get them one on a random day is dif bcs it's just smthin random on a random day i can understand#but idk like as a kid into adulthood the only bday my relatives / guardians have ever celebrated was my adopted brother's n my dad's#the dad bcs hes a hyperconservative dictator lol n the older adopted bro is cus hes got higher needs#so everybody gets more money taking care of him n stuff so u gotta act like u care abt him according to the guardians#but like i never even knew bdays were that big to people. like i mean i know OTHER PEOPLES bdays are big to them#i find ppl who rlly love their bdays to be rlly cute. like i dont think theyre selfish or make fun of em cus theyre judt having fun#n like u only get one x yr bday so have fun with it!!#but for ME? my bday was never anything special n i dont think it is now#everybody feels bad or smthing for me or for not getting me nothing today but it's like?? this is the norm??? im cool with it#ive been thinking abt other stuff like i just dont have time to think abt the pleasures rn. i have to double on the pain or smthing#like my friends always laugh abt how i dont drink coffee/tea or alcohol bcs u cant be in the medical field without a lil smn smn#& it's like idk ! i like ppl that do do that kinda stuff but like! i never grew up with that & it just feels odd to do it now kinda thing#idk im very cheap but also i will use the fact that im cheap on the small stuff to justify wanting to make a big purchase#i have a weird relationship with buying things for myself vs for others like 4 others i will buy watever u want bro#sugar papi ted#hey heres this idk insert raccoon bracelet bcs u like raccoons n love wearing bracelets so i thot of u n bought it#but if i buy smthing for me it has to have a dual purpose or smthing#i got to have a free dessert today n chose the churros over the tres leches cake slicr cus u can judt make the cake#but i dont own a deep fryer so i cant make churros n storebought churros just arent the same#like im just always idk comparing or needing to know the use of things yanno#if i do smthing. i have to see it thru. & it has to have multi purpose#i mean just look at my username jrue ships or jrue's hips like#im unwell when it comes to that#idk is anyone else like this#anyways yea this whole new thing of getting stuff on one day is hard for me like it just never matches up with my time#of course ill see stuff id like to have but like. ill just make myself forget it n by the time stuff like this rolls up it's like idk#i COULD get a new laptop but i got one that works just fine. i got an ipad on its last legs but can i still turn it on? alright
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Ouhhhh friendship I love friendship……..
#I’m reading volumes 14-16 of the ouran manga OOUGHHH MY HEART#I love this weird little friend group so much its unreal#like u have this charming sweeps you off your feet prince but he’s actually a huge lovable idiot with a kind heart and his friends#who are all misfits that he reached out to and drew in because of his kindness and own weirdness like that shits TIGHT BRO#and the trauma part where he has some deep seated issues with love bc he thinks that itll break a family apart like with his mom#how his family isnt allowed to be together because his mom and dad fell in love and how he says he wants to build a big house#so that way one day everyone will get along as a family like. all he wants is not to lose everyone and the only way to do that is#by maintaining a certain order.. he both wants a complete family so bad and doesnt want anything to sour between anyone#so he assigns each of his friends a family role based on how he sees them and YEAH its mostly played for giggles and tamakis#already weird so its his way of showing theyre close to him but. god damn this boy has LAYERS#it also feels kinda meta towards how found family tends to get thrown around to assign characters as 'siblings' or family roles instead of#using it to describe characters who are close enough to be each others family. cuz tamakis doing that EXACT THING in a way tht#ties in with his character and i have to say its fascinating using that within the story itself and its completely plausible#theres a lot of things i can say about ouran that are good bad and questionable but. god i love it when characters are niceys to each other#i remember i really liked the mall episode bc kyoya and haruhi got to spend time together and their relationship isnt very close#but it was really nice to see their personalities bounce off each other. i think i also wouldve liked to see haruhi alone with kaoru#i also firmly believe all of the hosts are at least a little in love with haruhi and this can be anything like endearing romantic cuz like#who DOESNT love haruhi. kyoya i think would want to study her under a microscope like his fascination with her draws him in#but im fucking obsessed with whatever haruhi and tamaki have going on because YES hes obsessed with her YES he jumps at the chance to#put her in a cute costume but haruhi? she just fucking goes with it because she knows hes fun to be around even if hes a little wacky abt i#theyre all so. NNGGHHHH#ouran#ohshc#yapping
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a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
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cant wait to be on tumblr to live blog when im like 31 and finally decide to give romance a go and have my own little yuri rendition of cherry magic (no virgin telepathy tho) for the remaining 20 mutuals that haven't left here either. def looking forward to that
#I'm not really like weird abt the fact I haven't really done anything in that sphere. and its funny bc i usually like tell ppl when romance#and all that comes up and ppl are always like 'ur joking' and its always like no dead serious but they just kinda accept it bc i do not giv#them the room to be qeird abt it which is nice bc like. idk i refuse to feel bad or weird abt my own boundaries. ive gone thru enough damag#and trauma to recognize that I do not form relationships or be vulnerable with anyone. and thats not great and like to improve in that real#but 100% at my speed. on My terms. society be damned.#also the avoidant attachment style is sooo there. idk i just think its embarassing to be in love. i want sooo badly to feel the full#weight of love in my life. but the parasites. the parasites want me to isolate yk#but yea! anyways bed time soon its sunday
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im so disappointed in my art lately . im not a beginner artist, but i feel like everything i do looks like i am . i feel like it would only be acceptable for a beginner . i havent made any progress since i was 11 . today is not a good day
#artist problems? except i barely even count as an artist atp#non serious vent sorry#i dont usually textpost because i much prefer just sticking it in the tags and hoping i forget about it#but i dont have anything to post. i literally have not been able to make anything at all.#does any other artist feel like this?#i know everyone says they feel like this but i cant decide if its comforting or condescending#all the other artists say “oh i hate my art!” when their art is good because its just the artists eye or whatever its called#and on one hand its comforting because everyone hates their art#but on the other hand its so discouraging because if you hate your art so much#how does mine look? how bad is mine?#i dont like talking abt weed bc its kinda weird for a 14 year old but i feel like the only times i can draw without crying -#- is when im high#i dont know i need to take a break or something#might focus on writing but everything is just so frustrating to me lately#i cant promise literally anything anymore because everytime i get excited to create its just GONE so fast#becaus i cant like anything i make#i keep searching for some kind of art advice that will actually help but i never can figure out how to apply it#and most of it is just “keep practicing!” as if i havent been practicing since i was 8 years old#i feel like at this point i have to just start all the way over but i dont even know how#at this point i would rather art regress than keep churning out the same mediocre garbage ive been drawing since 2022#and its not even that im pressuring myself to draw. its that all my art has just looked the same for so long and im so frustrated#i literally cannot draw anything without crying anymore its really upsetting#anyway sorry for the negativity on main :( this blog has kinda become my diary and im just an overdramatic teenager or whatever i dont know
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getting asks makes me so happy, thank you guys for trusting my input and for taking the time to send asks!! 🥺💖
i have a feeling i'm going to be online quite often this week, so if anyone has any questions about astrology, spiritual stuff, healing, anything, i'm always here!! happy to answer asks about certain placements (ie: gemini moon traits, mutable dominance traits, etc), compatibility (taurus x scorpio sun compatibility), astrology topics (what do the planets mean, what are the houses, etc), take requests for posts (ie: what does saturn in the signs mean), etc!!! <3
#luna.txt#i'm going through some stressful weird life stuff rn#and it's nice to come back to tumblr again and talk about astro and take my mind off the bad 💕#i feel like i'm in a whole new healing girl era but like still kinda in my endings painful girl era#im having feelings and thoughts and as a scorpio u can understand how stressful that is for me#JLKFDJFKLDFJ#anyway<3 love u guys#hope ur all doing well#pls send as many asks as u want#(i just cant read ur entire chart im sorry!!!)#anyway i was supposed to sleep early tonight bc i have so many work meetings tmrw#but now my brain is just like on Go mode and stress mode so#perhaps ill stay awake going thru old asks and answering any new ones i might get!!!!#and also.. staying awake for le sserafim comeback omg.. my fav gg (along w purplekiss) im so excited#ANYWAY!! im happy to talk anytime even if its not abt astro#feel free to come yell at me abt ur problems or ur wins or anything<3#im always happy to give older sister advice too.. or younger sister advice if ur older than me..#also always happy to talk about girl groups or genshin or myg or exo<3#ok ill stop rambling now.. its been a while since i treated tumblr like a diary oops
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blegh
#✧ chatting !#not gonna lie i feel like its been getting worse#i thought my attachments and everythjng wld kinda ? fade after i came to terms w it but like. theyre still here#which is supersuper weird for me bc im rlly bad at feeling long term attachments for other people aside from my family#quite literally i think this has happened only twice before ? so this is the third time#its not like it feels bad or anything i just feel kinda. weird abt it idk#i dont rlly have anyone to talk to abt it either cause i dont rlly want it to somehow accidentally get spread#not that i dont trust the mutuals or anything . im just weirdly hyperaware of how horrible this cld go yk#gahhh. they shldve just killed off my emotions
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ok so i know ive complained abt shadow and infinite’s backstory in sonic forces but can i also just say how uncomfortable it is that shadow allegedly murdered a ton of people in a facility... kinda like what happened in the ARK
like i already think him joining GUN was kinda a bad writing choice but cmon
also the fact that infinite going sicko mode was not bc his squad died but bc shadow called him weak is the perfect example to point to for how WEIRD forces’s writing is. say what you want about how batshit the adventure games and 06 got with their plotlines but at least all the death and violence in those games were taken seriously and had narrative weight. here its just like “SEE we put VIOLENCE in the game guys!! we TOTALLY nailed what made our earlier stories so good!!”
#its that and also ''sonic was tortured for several months but came out ok and its never mentioned again''#that was just there to make the game sound fucked up and catch interest. but i also hate it bc the fandom was weird abt it#the jackal squad's deaths have potential ig but its more of a fun fact than anything#also i cant really feel bad for infinite bc its kinda his own fault his quad died and he doesnt even consider that at all#which would make him interesting but no#like bro you literally forced your squad to join eggman for the hell of it. then put em out on the field to die when they all objected#can you like... get angry abt that outside of one line#ntm none of the squad are seen in the game anyways and theyre not really taken intoaccount for his backstory#so its literally pointless its just there to make the game darrrrrk without putting in the effort to make any sense of vulnerability#bc yes sa2 was a really dark game. it was also earnest and vulnerable abt the pain shadow and gerald felt#i do really like dark stuff in video games but it just feels cheap in forces#echoed voice
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...
#ok so like this is fine bc im not in a horrible mood rn. this is more i feel like complaining bc what im doing is kinda ridiculous#but my memory is so bad that ill probably forget if i dont write it out. but basically 4 days a week i have to come in starting at 7.30 to#water and prep for measurements. then from 9am to 6.15pm i have to nonstop take the measurements. and theyre timed so that means#i get abt 4 min to do anything before i have to take another measurement. which is abt enough time to start to focus and then have to stop#which is very fucking frustrating. and i have to manage data. coordinate for this fucking paper. and keep track of like 10 other things for#work stuff. which means that it takes me like and hour to send easy emails and they come out all fucked uo bc my brain is so shot#but on top of that i also have to fucking do the steps to get set up for my new school in the fall. and like ive officially accepted the#offer but havent talked to my new advisor since then so now theres this weird gap where im like. uh fuck do i ask for wtf im supposed to#do? bc ive been able to do things for like 2 or 3 weeks but then my life started collapsing in around me. and like there r probably#instructions somewhere but i cant fucking read lol. whatever. hes nice i just need to find the energy and words to email him and b like lol#srry everythings been insane. but bc ive waited so long i have to compulsively keep going back to check that ive been accepted like somehow#that would change while im not looking. ugh. and ive also fucked myself over housing wise bc theres a housing shortage in the city and huge#demand of housing on camus so theres a wait list for everything but i cant fucking apply bc i cant get my id to work. and fucking idk who#to call or email abt that. but idk i might have to have roomates for a semester. or my parents offered to give me some extra money for an#apartment until i can get one that doesnt put me in the red on a grad student budget. ugh. i dont wanna do either of those things#but christ do i not want roommates. ill figure something out. its just annoying and difficult from so far away#and it makes me kinda sad bc ppl r like: r u excited?! and im like. i cant really think abt that. partly bc im constanly putting out fires#in the present so theres not really space for it. partly bc i dont allow myself to b excited abt things so as not to get my hopes up.#but just after i accepted i was excited. and now it feels like im reaching my hand out toward a floating light just out of reach. like#its a nice idea but i wont believe until it happens. but that just bc ive become distorted about things#and i dont even get a weekend bc the 4 days of measurement r friday to Monday and i cant fucking relax on weekdays bc ppl r like hey can u#do this??? and there r things i can only do on weekdays so its like ok i guess ill just suffer forever thrn. and my boss texts me like: hey#did u do X? and am like: uuuuuh i fucking dont kno what day it is anymore. i dont understand y we have to meet. lets just not talk bc im#afraid ill say something worrying. so yea its pretty fucked up rn. but this stuff ends on the 24th#then ill probably not take a break and fucking finish the measurements for another project bc i just really need it to b done. i need it#all to b done so i can fucking wash my hands of this and fucking quit and move away at the start of july... or August if i decide i hate#myself that much. ugh. at least the lab has been pretty empty so no ones seen me crying lol#also thr fucking rutgers guy emailed me yesterday like: hey u want this position? and im like bitch u r like a month too late also im in#my cringe fail era. i would not survive at ur school. ugh everything is terrible. 2 or 3 more months then i csn leave this place forever#unrelated
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prospective tenants are coming to tour my apartment today. feels weird.
#I dont like it like the idea of ppl in my home specifically to like. look around. feels invasive idk.#like ik its just to see the layout and stuff but its like. idk#also i wont be there. unless i leave class rlly early which i dont think im gonna do#so its extra weird bc theyre gonna be looking around my room while im gone. ik the manager will be there so nobody would do anything weird#but i have this like image in my head of someone sniffing my underwear or smth lol#im worried abt buttercup too im sure shell just hide under the bed but its like:( shes gonna be so scared#i didnt clean btw. honestly im kinda hoping it makes a bad enough impression that they dont schedule anymore until we move out and i dont#have to deal with it again#zem diary
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scare tactics remake is rlly good??
#i think the weird tv head host and over editing during those scenes r kinda lame but otherwise its pretty faithful to the original#not that it has to be super faithful or anything but its good for what it is coming from someone who grew up with the og#idk i think i just miss tracy morgan lmao#i didnt grow up watching the first few seasons and their host but i grew up on the seasons where tracy morgan hosted it#the first prank was rlly funny#i thought the second one was kinda lame tho#like i thought they would have had the girl who got kicked out stumble in all bloody and what not for a final scare#like how the episodes usually go#but wwhgk whatever it was fine#like its just what you would expect out of scare tactics that was remade for modern audiences#the original always made me kinda freaked out while watching even tho its a prank series#like#it was probably because i was literally 8 years old but the mix of the 2000's camera quality and stock audio#made it rlly creepy to sit through#like especially the pranks that took place at night#uhh i remember that one abt the alien pig mutilation freaking me out bad#even when i rewatch it now#and i dont feel that way with the new one at all#not that its a bad thing i just find it interesting#gotta stop yapping abt scare tactics and ggo 2 bed..
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also the thing of trying to boil it down to like "he was a hero whos mental state was made of titanium" or "he was an unstable mentally ill weirdo who killed himself and pretended it was for a reason" seems. counterproductive at the very least
#something something bodily automomy also applies to self-harm/suicide#and also something something suicidal urges aren't A Mental Illness™ on their own#we think abt like. active suicidal tendencies vs passive as active being The Real Thing™ and passive being a diluted form of it#but honestly its the other way around#passive is 'i want to be somewhere where things are better' and active is just. running out of somewheres to go#people talk about Mental Illness Suicide™ in this as if its just some like.#amorphous Blob that makes you want to kill yourself for no reason#like there's no motivation behind it‚ its not 'i want to escape this bad situation' but literally just 'i want to be dead'#and its like. theres always a reason#and i just. dont think being suicidal automatically makes a person unstable and we shouldnt fall for conservative propaganda saying it does#cause from what ive seen thats been the part conservatives have latched onto because its The Only Thing They Can Focus On Without Looking#At Anything Else#idk it just feels a little weird to be on the mental illness website seeing people talk about how we shouldnt#pay attention to anything he said because he was a dangerous unstable man who needed help#bc its like. havent we been over this before?#idk this isnt very well expressed my thoughts have been all over the place abt this the last few days#tumblr has apparently decided i need to see 100000000 posts about it to the point i am kinda considering finally turning off the#based on your likes kwbfksbfkdnfk
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For somebody who’s really fuckin into girls, I sure have fallen for somebody whos uh. not that.
#the toad goes croak#like up until i met them i was SO confident that i only liked girls this way#maybe its cause I haven’t met somebody as cool and genuine as them before#but gotDAMN am i down bad. i feel like i’m spiralling and i’m just gonna get more and more annoying so I’m gonna try and. not do that#just try and focus on being a good friend forst and foremost and try and ease up real hard on the flirty jokes#i’m either being very bold or very stupid by vagueblogging abt them here when i know they follow me#if you’re reading these tags hey how ya doin? sorry if I’ve been kinda a lot lately I’m doing my best to not be weird abt these feelings#i’m sure you have plenty of other people in your life who deserve your attention more than me so I don’t wanna ask for more of it#plus its only been like a month we’ve known each other I don’t wanna rush anything
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hi!! saw your tags and if you want to say more abt the maxiel time travel fic in your head I would love to see it
dropped back in time fic
- in 2024 daniel is finally coming to terms with the fact that he does in fact like men. he's been putting off thinking about it but now the writing is on the wall with his f1 career and he has to admit that the time he made out with a dude in a club it wasnt because he was drunk it was because he wanted to do it
- after singapore he's like fuck it im retired time to fuck a guy!!! if they dont want me at least i can give myself this!!! he like makes a plan, gives himself a pep talk in a mirror, goes to a gay club, immediately strikes out with a dude and goes home to lick his wounds
- falls asleep and wakes up and hes in 2018 (have to decided exactly when and exactly how he finds him but) he's confronted with a young max who just wants him sooooo bad its crazy. daniels like ummmm is this really how he was? is this a weird fucked up dream? he decides that its an alternate universe where max is in love with him
- (because in 2024 max has just gotten out of a pretty serious longterm relationship with a woman and before that a very repressed daniel DID NOT let himself believe that max genuinely liked him PLUS after he told max he was leaving red bull max got very weird about him and it took a little while for their friendship to recover and yes in the last yearish max has been kind of vaguely intense about him sometimes but also a now willing to admit he likes men daniel feels like he's projecting his own desires onto max)
- so obviously young max is like hanging off of this sexy older daniel with a mustache (daniel thinks its hilarious because IN HIS UNIVERSE max was soooo weird about daniel having a mustache like he hated it or something and what a funny contrast) and young max is like daniel maybe to get back to your own time you should fuck me. probably thats how we fix it. and daniels like well no one else wants me but he does and this isnt even real SO WHAT THE HELL and he and max bone down real nasty style they have mind blowing life changing its-extra-good-because-its-them sex
- the sex made it feel wayyy to real to daniel and hes kinda freaking out and thinking and young max is on cloud nine and hes like i will tell my daniel that i want to be with him and you will tell yours and daniels like max no. you cant tell your daniel i know him and he would not handle it well he wouldnt know how to treat you right and you deserve better than what he could give you you haveeee to let him go (daniel also obviously knows his younger self is about to tell max that he's leaving red bull) and max is like what the hell. but daniel's like max promise me you wont promise me you will live you own life dont sit around waiting for me
- a baby max who is obviously upset but extremely determined says fine EYE wont say anything to my daniel but YOU HAVE TO SAY SOMETHING TO YOUR MAX!!!! and daniels like no my max doesnt want me and max is like im him so i know for a fact he does so dont be a pussy okay?? and they can both feel daniel is about to leave so daniel just says alright max and kisses him and then hand wavy magic stuff he wakes back up in 2024
- daniels like well that was fucked up. but now he has all this free time to think about it and do some soul searching and probably he does finally fuck some more guys and it's like good but still nothing like it was when he was with max but that wasnt real. or was it? but it wasnt... and he cant just call up max at the end of the season as he's in a tight race for wdc so he just has his little eat pray love retirement moment and finds peace and clarity and he's ready to move on with life
- but then its whenever the season is over and daniel is like in monaco?? or maybe even in australia?? wherever he is someone is ferociously knocking on his door and he opens it to find max who is red faced and angry and stares down daniel and says "it MUST have happened by now" and daniels like "woah max what? what must have happened?" and max is like "five years i have been waiting but you really are too much of a pussy to say anything" and daniels stomach drops out of his ass and hes like "max..." and max is like "daniel i told you always i would want you and i meant it"
- so they fuck and then they talk it out and then they can be together happily ever after
#very HEAVILY inspired by a drarry fic i love. and also every time travelers wife au ive ever read. im a time travel girl what can i say#the fic would also have a lot more moments dropped in that just so suck bad for a max who has spent years dreaming about his one magical#night with daniel and waiting for it to catch up to daniel and hoping its not just him#newbromantics#ask
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HEYY, AIDEN x READER AT THE RINK ANON HERE!! LOVED THE WAY U WROTE THE ONESHOT!
i was waiting for your requests to open up again :D (im obsessed with aiden so bear w/ me, i'll be requesting ALOT abt him) wanted to ask if u could write a oneshot about tyler,aiden x f!reader as a love triangle! something along the lines of; how the atmosphere is around the group when those two keep on pissing each other off. Aiden being aiden and just pulling on tylers strings even though reader hasn't chosen which one she likes most!
(if its okay w u, every time i request something i'll just put 🤍Anon!)
Tyler & Aiden x fem!reader
╰┈➤ ⋆。‧˚ʚ 🎸🥀 ɞ˚‧。⋆
The more confident one here would probably be Aiden
Like ofc Tyler isn’t insecure or anything but he definitely isn’t that confident when flirting with you
Aiden would get more touchy and pushy (well if that’s even possible)
Tyler would be more calm around you and would be very overprotective over you and would protect you, just like his sister with his life
The two would bicker so much more
You turn the corner, there’s a fighting Aiden and Tyler there
Aiden would be more smug then angry when arguing with Tyler
On the other hand.. Tyler would get pissed
We all know he gets pissed easily but they wouldn’t full on fist fight probably to not raise suspicion within the others in the group
When you are alone with Tyler he would probably be more ‘flirty’
He would have his hand on your waist or hug you
You wouldn’t think anything of it because you think he’s just being friendly (reader is kinda oblivious like always, typical Y/N)
When you three would be near each other the atmosphere would be so fucking tense
Ashlyn fight her inner demons to not say “get a room the sexual tension radiating off of you is making me sick”
Some would question the weird atmosphere but the two would deny anything and everything
After a while they would probably make you choose or one of them would just make a move
If you had a crush on Aiden:
Tyler would be crushed
He would cry probably but not a full on breakdown
He would get pissy towards you and Aiden (more to Aiden)
Deep down he would still like you but after some time he moves on
Things would definitely be awkward for a while tho
On the other hand Aiden would be the happiest man alive
He would rub it in but he wouldn’t go THAT far to the point he would make Tyler feel bad
Probably just sticking his tongue out when you’re not looking or when he kisses you he would do that thing where you have your eyes closed while he is eyeing Tyler
Aiden would yap your ear off and tell you what has been going on between him and Tyler
You would just laugh it off, feeling a bit bad for Tyler but you’re happy you got together with your crush :3
If you had a crush on Tyler:
Oh he would act like he doesn’t care but deep down he wants to rub it in so bad but doesn’t want to be immature
Would probably just smirk at Aiden when you’re not looking
Aiden would still be his cheerful self but he would be crushed as well
Poor boy probably cried the whole night
Ben would glare a bit at you two like how dare you make his cousin cry
But after a while he forgets about it and moves on, going back to his usual very happy self who yaps everyones ears off
Tyler would definitely not tell you what has been happening
Like girl nuh uh that shit seems too embarrassing to be talked about anywhere near you
Would never admit he was jealous, like never
But you can tell because he looks like an angry puppy :D
After a while the atmosphere in the group would go back to normal, just some romance popping in lmao
If you don’t like them back:
the awkwardness in the group would fr go 📈
probably would plan to fight the person you like
after some time they would ofc get over it but this would take then so much longer to get over
everyone in the group is like “wtf is going on”
if you start dating that person and stat to drift away from the group they would be really sad tho
if the guy mistreats you then they will beat him up they wouldn’t even care of they get in trouble
overall your interactions would be brief and awkward
#tyler hernandez x you#tyler hernandez x y/n#tyler sbg x reader#sbg tyler x reader#sbg tyler#tyler hernandez x reader#tyler hernandez#aiden sbg x reader#sbg aiden clark#aiden clark sbg#sbg aiden#aiden sbg#aiden clark x reader#aiden clark#sbg x reader#sbg fanfic#sbg#sbg webtoon#sbg (webtoon)#school bus graveyard requests#school bus graveyard x y/n#school bus graveyard fanfiction#school bus graveyard x reader#school bus graveyard
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so I literally cannot stop thinking abt this here u go
god kink Noah and softie Christian reader
I already know I'm going to hell so no need to remind me ik this is filth but that's what's fun abt it also basing the looks of the building off of this big ass church I used to go to and it's very weird and industrial so apologies if it's confusing
*NSFW below the cut, MDNI*
cw: sacrilege lmao, degradation, raw sex, oral (f receiving), dirty talk, Noah kinda thinks he's better than everyone else, maybe bc he thinks he's God idk, corruption, loss of virginity, experienced Noah, dirty talk, slightly public, belly bulge, dacryphilia
♡ Noah's only at church cause he has to be, otherwise why the fuck would he waste his morning here. He sits through the awful music and wonders how all of these people live such a lie, its pathetic to him. The only thing that makes it bearable is the pretty little thing in the little white sundress that never fails to show up every Sunday.
♡ he thinks you're so cute. Brainwashed, but cute. All he ever thinks abt is how he could desecrate you and how you'd look so much prettier worshipping him.
♡ Noah is damn near your exact opposite, covered in tattoos, always wearing dark colors. He never really talks to anyone either, keeping to himself. You'd say he was miserable if you didn't see his face soften a little every time you catch his eye. You try to make a point and interact with him every chance you get, maybe he's lonely? You can't let that happen. He's the worship leader's son, you'd think he'd be having a better time but who knows what's going through his head.
♡ Noah almost feels bad that he can't keep his thoughts in order when you walk up to him, pretty smile plastered on your face. You're chattering about today's service and he's picturing his hands on your hips, fingers digging into the soft skin while he bucks up into you and gets to hear those pretty little noises he's sure you'd make. All he'd have to do is pull your dress up too, it'd be easy. He's nodding along with your conversation and trying to seem interested but it's getting harder and harder to pretend he's listening.
♡ his eyes drifting to the neckline of your dress which is pretty modest but God he'd be able to pull it down so easy, tease your nipples while you grind yourself on his thigh and whine for him to fill you up. His eyes snap back to your face which is etched with concern.
"Noah, are you feeling alright? You seem out of it."
♡ he could lie, but what's the point. Isn't lying a sin?
"I'm fine. Just thinking about how pretty you'd look split on my cock."
♡ did he really say that??? You weren't sure how to even respond. Or if you should at all. You were flushed down to your chest and Noah admired the pretty pink tinge to your skin. He was almost nervous he'd fucked up but he knew what to say to have you following him like a little sheep. If you can sit through service every week and genuinely believe the shit his father is saying, you'll do anything if it's said in the right tone.
"Bet you've never even fucked before, have you? Saving yourself for marriage and all that bullshit. You know I could make you feel good, you should let me show you."
♡ you're still stunned, standing like a little deer in some headlights. You'd be lying if you said you didn't find Noah attractive but you felt like he wasn't in the cards for you. He's everything you're not, but maybe that's what's so enticing about him. How he talked about your beliefs stung a little but you couldn't help the way your thighs pressed together at the thought of him and his suggestion. He'd never hurt you, right? You can trust him, why would he wrong you?
♡ Noah nodded toward one of the exit doors, turning to leave and hoping you'd follow. You nearly tripped over your own feet trying to catch up with him. Your brain felt fuzzy and you knew whatever he was gonna put you through was horrifically sinful but you can be forgiven for being curious, right? Noah locked the door behind you, leaving you both in an empty stairwell. Hopefully no one tried to interrupt the two of you, because Noah was immediately to work. He walked you backwards until your back was pressed to the concrete wall and he tangled his fingers in your hair, pulling until you whimpered and keened against his hand for some relief.
"The only fucking God in this building is me. I expect you to treat me like such."
"You answer to me, and you follow my fucking directions, yeah? Gonna be a good girl and do what I say?"
♡ you felt your heart race terribly in your chest from how close he was, you felt like a prey animal being stalked by a predator. You really didn't know what to expect, you've never done this before. You shouldn't be doing this at all...what have you gotten yourself into...
♡ Noah surprisingly sinks to his knees in front of you, hands brushing at your knees and sliding up your thighs, hiking up your dress as he goes. His long fingers hooked under the waistband of your panties to tug them down and he threw one of your legs over his shoulder, without warning burying his face in your pussy making you yelp and tangle your fingers in his hair for some balance.
(Something like this yk)
♡ you pulled his hair tightly between your fingers, whining while he lapped at your pussy and groaned against you when you pulled a little too hard. You felt pricks of pins and needles all over your body, it felt like a swarm of butterflies populated your lower stomach. Oh god...one of his hands steadied itself on your thigh but the other slid up to glide between your folds, gathering the slick mess before prodding at your entrance making you squirm. He was right, you hadn't done this before. He wanted you to enjoy yourself though, that's why he was taking the time to stretch you out and make you cum, so you could actually take his cock afterwards.
♡ the fingers at your entrance slid in slowly, stretching you out and scissoring slightly to spread you further. Your legs were shaking and the swarm in your belly felt 100x worse. You were worried you couldn't hold yourself up much longer...Noah pressed his fingers as deep as he could fit them, brushing your cervix and curving up to press right into the most sensitive spot he could. He laughed against your pussy when he felt you clench around his fingers, teeth brushing your clit and making you whimper pathetically above him. He was the one on his knees and you were unraveling. Pitiful.
"You gonna cum for me? Can't let you take this cock till you cum, won't fit."
♡ when he nudges a 3rd finger in you completely come undone, tugging his face closer to you and nearly crying while you grind into him through your orgasm. He speeds his fingers up inside of you until you're squirming and begging him to stop. He withdraws and stands back up, reminding you he towers over you at his full height and he licks your slick off of his fingers right in front of you. You're still panting and your legs feel shaky, this isn't helping.
♡ Noah thinks you look adorable so shaken up, he can't help but admire how your chest is rising so quickly and your face is flushed. He did that to you. He's gonna do so much more too. He backs you into the wall again and runs his hands down your thighs, picking you up and pressing your back into the wall for extra support while your legs wrapped around his waist. You threw your arms around his neck to steady yourself but he wasn't gonna drop you, he could hold you up for hours if he needed to. Again though, he thinks you're adorable and lets you think he could drop you just to get your heart racing again.
♡ he holds you up with one arm while freeing his achingly hard cock with the other. You didn't even really get a chance to see it, but when he drug the tip through the slick mess between your legs you could describe the feeling as dread. He felt huge. Noah leaned his head against your neck, pressing soft kisses up to your ear and nipping at the soft skin.
"Gotta relax for me, promise I'll make you feel so good...trust me"
"Can't wait to feel how tight this pussy is, can't believe I'm your first. Bet I'll be the last too."
"Gonna fucking ruin you for everyone else, gonna be mine forever, yeah?"
"So much for staying pure, hm? All it took was one little comment and here you are letting me fuck you raw in a stairwell. Wonder how your god feels about that."
♡ he'd planned on taking it slow but after sinking in just a few inches he couldn't help himself. He trusted up into you, hilting himself in one move and sank his teeth deep into your shoulder to try and muffle the groan that escaped his chest. He slapped a hand over your mouth as he sank in and thank God he did because the sound you made was nothing short of a scream. Big tears welled in your eyes even after all the work he did to prep you, the stretch of taking his cock felt almost too much. Noah was loving every moment, watching you fall apart for him. He pressed a large hand to your stomach as he started fucking himself into you just to feel how deep he fit in your poor body.
"O-oh god-"
"The only fucking god you should be praying to is me."
♡ your whimpers and moans were nonstop but thankfully muffled against his palm, he didn't want anyone interrupting you. You gripped his cock just fucking right and he doubted he could really last long but he needed to have you unravel on his dick before he could finish. Noah reached up and tugged the front of your dress down, leaning to absolutely cover your chest in hickeys and lick at your overly sensitive nipples, your whines pitched up when his teeth got a little too rough but he couldn't help but admire his work. Your pretty soft skin marred with teeth marks and bruises. There's no way you could walk back out there and have no one notice, everyone would know exactly what you did, and who you did it with. Perfect.
"bet you've been thinking about this just as much as I have, huh bunny? Needed to get fucked, needed to get filled up by some fat cock, yeah? Tell me."
"Your little god was keeping you from this, does he really feel better than me? Wanna hear you say it."
"Gonna cum again for me, bunny? Need to feel you squeeze this cock, you can do it. I got you."
♡ your head fell back against the hard wall as he fucked into you, the coil in your stomach tightened unbearably. Every thrust sank as deep as he could possibly get and made your legs shake in his hold. Noah was chasing your pleasure as much as his own, he loved seeing your pretty little pathetic expressions. He slid a hand between your bodies and barely even had a chance to brush your clit as you came. His arm around you tightened to keep you still as he fucked you through it, tears spilling from your eyes and ruining your pretty makeup.
"S-shit- that's it- good girl, feels good yeah? So good for me-"
"That's it, tell me who's making you feel this good baby say my fuckin' name- n-need to hear it"
♡ his thrusts picked up in intensity, fingers sinking into your hips hard enough to leave Bruises and he sank in impossibly deep as he shuddered through his own end, you whined at the feeling of his hot cum filling you up and the extra dripping out of you making a mess on the floor under you. It took a second for Noah to set you back down on shaky legs, he helped you straighten your dress back out before pulling you in for an uncharacteristically gentle kiss. He felt like he was a little harsh on you but he was happy you actually would do something like this with him finally.
"So pretty...we should do this again sometime, yeah?"
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