#its not like im not Trying
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sigh . i wish being a better person came naturally to me
#my mom was talking to me abt how im gonna move out soon#and how i dont think abt other people on my own/am instinctively v self-centered#she's not wrong either#like . yes i realize that im naturally kind of a dick and i've been trying to work on it#i really wish it came naturally to me though#just . i have to be super conscious of what seems to come so easily for everyone else ??#it sucks bc it's def affected how i make/break relationships#i wish i was easier to be around#its not like im not Trying#but everyone around me keeps saying im not doing enough#i literally do not know how to start being a better person#i have been making it up as i go#i promise im trying so hard :/#i feel like it doesn't get acknowledged#which it shouldnt!! bc it's the bare fucking minimum#but . i want the effort i put in to at least get noticed yk#D.vents#tang rant
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i am a being capable of immeasurable love and whimsy
#and also. am a ilittlel kitty :3#mine#cats#brain empy. felt tip cats ONLY#we were promised snow today n then they decided actually :) rain all day for u#i bought new wool for a cardigan today im SO excited its gna be so colourful#i was going to do some sort of Thing on the back like a heart or something but im still too scared to do colour changing stuff#maybe....maybe next time#i think i will try a patter w like. an actual grid with it first rather than just rawdog it#bc i . do not know what im doing :3
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"just as I did, in 1983."
you'd never know my favourite parts of the show are the fucked up insane bits when my first instinct is to draw the cheesiest thing imaginable
#my art#interview with the vampire#iwtv amc#iwtv#armand iwtv#daniel molloy#armand#armandaniel#devils minion#drew this before the finale but idk maybe this is during the unspecified amount of time between armands divorce and daniels press tour#the titian painting doesnt fit at ALL with the timeline btw#i THOUGHT it did bc i assumed 1508 was when armand was turned into a vampire BUT upon reflection thats more likely the year he was born#and even then the painting was made in like 1510 so fuck me i guess. also im foggy on when armand was taken to rome#idk man i havent read the books and i failed art history on two separate occasions i cannot endeavor for accuracy#anyway as much as i love 70s/80s devils minion i have equal love for old man daniel#his cynicism has been tempered by time... refined like a diamond... he dont gaf and bullies his loser vampire and its hilarious#like ''sure yeah fine all these old italian renaissance guys saw ur ethereal otherworldly beauty but literally anybody can see that''#''IM the only mf who gets to experience the incandescent joy of seeing you be a messy idiot''#sidenote trying to make armand look unflattering is impossible u can blame the show for casting the worlds most beautiful man
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i have neither a good imagination nor aphantasia, but a secret third thing
#adhd#doodles#show this to your therapist instead of failing to explain it like i did#me: its like i cant control my thoughts like i was trying to think of something earlier today but#all i could think of was this giraffe eating leaves and no matter how hard i tried to focus the thought would just. replay#my therapist: what happens if you try to let the thought just play out#me: ........ i dont know but i dont want it to be there at all when im trying to do simple addition in a maths exam#10k#100k
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Rolled up the living room rug to clean my apartment/make dinner on roller skates because I suddenly remembered that I’m an adult with free will…..Life is beautiful
#okay like in my defense im trying to work around adhd and its helpful to me to make a task more fun#oc#10k
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good ending
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing jimmy#mouthwashing swansea#i lowkey got this achievement by accident when i was trying to do the 360#because im bad at this game#i'd like to imagine swansea succeeded#not that it wouldve changed the ending all that much#but its about the principle
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the thing that caused me so much grief last night but now i feel better about it fdnghgdfggd
#sighhh im still kind of upset about the whole thing but man whatever i spent so long drawing this xd#sonic adventure 2#i loooove geralds cell i think its just so cool that sonic ended up in it and it was just kind of silently there#sonic the hedgehog#art#sonic fanart#sth#digital art#there are some issues with my rendering that i am trying to resolve but idk i guess i just have to try and learn#it's already better than what i could do like a year ago or so so i guess its alright#sa2
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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.
we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."
at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.
the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.
the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.
what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.
here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.
#this is true#writeblr#warm up#relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes#amongst the Siblings#is like - ''this is so good u will love it''#while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting#like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''#to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good#(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and#like. we're GONNA try the new thing.)#edit to answer why we had so much vanilla:#my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house.#it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out''#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.#my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract#to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids#so like she was right to stock up#ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that#u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it#> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes#> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out)#listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9#when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it.#3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters#i am the middle child#out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite
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im ngl that scene in the lighthouse when hes trying to jerk off to the idea of a hot mermaid but keeps getting distracted by unsightly visions symbolizing his guilty conscience and descent into insanity is so real like. it really is like that sometimes
#piksla.txt#its just like when ur trying to think of smth sexy and ur like 'ooh think. uh. hot vampire ladies uh. think think think'#and ur brain keeps reminding you of like. deadlines and chores and unpleasant memories like shoo! go away!! im trying to have a fun time#its literally that . anyways robpat SLAYED slayedddddd#hall of fame
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drew some book!husbands. they feel like they've taken more traits from each other than the show.
#decided book!az has hints of elton john. its the old queen energy#book!crowley is nice looking average white man who learns how to wear a suit but half the reason he's interesting is bc he's trailing aroun#an old bookseller who looks maybe 30 years his senior and giving him babygirl eyes#its the stark contrast in the looks between the “bland” (cr) and “interesting” (az) that im going for with these guys#god im trying to make them not look like butch lesbians purely from an art skill pov but i cant beat the allegations#good omens#ineffable husbands#crowley#aziraphale
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spiraling
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#gojo satoru#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#the minute i realized how tg coded the composition n colours were i decided to turn it up to 11#i was racking my brain trying 2 figure out how to get the layered tissue paper look tht i talked abt ishida's cover art having#cycled through all my usual layer modes n nothing ws Quite right#until wouldnt u know it . divide n subtract!!!!! i NEVER use divide or subtract bc theyre impossible#but fr this??? its like they were made for it oh my god#it makes the greys look translucent n all my textures pop in a way that makes them appear splotchy n Bruised#which ws the whole point thts the Look god i am so PLEASED#when the layer modes tht notoriously get No love finally find their niche <33 peace and love <333#filing this away fr later i am going 2 have a lot of fun with this new information i think#im very happy w how the colours look n i dont think anything else wld have kept the right Mood#but i am always so >:/ when i have to use a palette tht forces me into giving megumi blue eyes#had to set aside th green eyed megu agenda fr the Aesthetic unfortunately#anyway i knew from the minute i saw it that i wanted to do smth involving the opening panel of 268#bc that panel is S tier#i figured tht if nothing came 2 me i wld just redraw it as-is bc it's alr so good but as i ws sketching i was like#u know what u havent done in a while? art tht looks like u r going Insane#art tht makes ur family ask whether everything is ok#so i once again tucked megumi's knees up 2 his chest and apologized insincerely to him fr making the third megumi angst piece in a row#:)
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What he doesn't know wont hurt him.........
#narilamb#narinder#cult of the lamb#cotl#cotl narinder#my art#I was having trouble drawing the marker so a friend had the big brain idea of using a stock image#finally back home after being out of town for like a month and a half and im trying to get used to my work tablet again#its been so long#so if stuff looks weird thats why asdlfkjsd
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Kon and tim will never be allowed to be together because tim is a certified grade A freak wrapped in the strongest autistic rizz I've ever seen and kon is way too much of a "standing by my pookie" type of guy to safely handle all that. Like, beyond a shadow of a doubt, kon can handle tim's freak without breaking a sweat—the issue is what they would become if allowed to dedicate that energy to each other. Like kon does not care to reel that in at all. The safety in question here is the safety of other ppl
#tim told kon he cloned him to try and bring him back and kon was like#its ok bb#im touched u care#like they cannot be allowed to have s3x!!!!#timkon#kontim#tim drake#timothy drake#kon el#conner kent#robin#red robin#superboy#dc comics
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i always roll my eyes a little bit when someone openly looks down on people who are religious/spiritual. ur telling me youve never made a wish before?? never sent a little prayer out into the universe???? get real
#like its worthwhile criticising shit like homeo medicine or evangelism#but ur gonna call someone a brainless moron for doing a tarot reading???? come on man#EDIT OH MY GOD IM AN ATHEIST. I AM AN ATHEIST. IM NOT TRYING TO CONVERT ANYONE ARE YOU SERIOUS
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you know what i think is really cool about dungeon meshi? the fact that it really handles the whole 'how our food is made' so gracefully. in this day and age, we've become so disconnected from how our food is produced and distributed that the thought of how our food is obtained brings disgust to many people (and for the big industry farms, it honestly should! but im referring to our existence as omnivores in the food chain). marcille acted ridiculous whenever the thought of killing a monster for food is brought up, but honestly, she's a great model for how many people nowadays react whenever they have to truly think about what they are consuming/are brought to a meat farm.
senshi shows the characters (and us, the audience) about the process of making food in a respectful, genuine way to the creatures he has used to produce nourishing meals. by explaining the nutrition and benefits of each creature, he creates and healthy relationship between the consumers and the meal they have. the show really brings a new dimension of respect for each of our meals. truly the bob ross/marie kondo of cooking.
#dungeon meshi#senshi#marcille donato#laois touden#marie kondo would be so proud theyd get along great tbh#text post#my posts#god i hope i articulated this well im tired but i know what im trying to say#like people who eat meat but won't eat meat with bones because then they think of it as an animal: this is directed at you#it was always an animal and its honestly more disrespectful to ignore it#this is also not anti-vegetarian this is more just a general observation of our society as a whole#delicious in dungeon
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I made a barely animated thing!
Someone should probably give him a hug ...
#obi wan 'poor lil meow meow' kenobi#obi wan kenobi#my art#star wars fanart#obi wan fanart#animation? on my blog? its more likely than you think#but fr animation is hard#im trying to learn#this is only very technically animatwd#star wars#my gif
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