#its not even a bad job!
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I'm. about to lose my fucking midn
#im good this is about my job#its not even a bad job!#everyone just hates each other and tells me about it
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Just because you don't love yourself it doesn't mean I will stop loving you.
#my art#goro akechi#persona 5#shuake#p5r#ren amamiya#persona 5 royal#akeshu#for some reason i wrote a dif caption on all socmed#i like them all#u know me and my poetry and shuake i cant stop coming up w lines so oh well collect them all#twt tumblr and bsky#twt and tumblr are similar#oh right i have never told ppl i have either of those here#tumblr is my true home so i forget#anw enjoy my tablet pen is dying and replacement is 350 euros cause its a wacom display tablet from 2013-17 and yeah. fuck me :)#cant even say i will do comms to pay for a new one cause its maddening to draw on it rn#idk how i managed to draw this one - passion for shuake ig#ok thats too much rambling even for me oops#its been a bad week lots of expenses for someone who quit her job to do a post grad on my savings lol#im getting better though
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toot toot!
#breaking my streak of dramatic af captions bc look at this. look at it. wtf was i supposed to call it. he's tootin whaddya want from me#he go TOOT TOOT on his lil trumpet i fuckgjn LOVE HIM im maxing this card im serious#lvl 60 10/10 no expense is too much for my precious boy#i found a new brush that has this rly soft charcoal vibe and i used it on this whole thing and it was SEXY it was HEAVEN#it was fun for coloring too!!! and the outfit colors are fun to color OUGHH everything made just for me <3 feeling SILLY#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#his bunny outfit sweeps like im sorry but its the best card of the event and its not even fucking close#suntails#i did one 10-pull bc i wanted the paint bonus from epel's card even tho i HATE that card#and i instead got SUPER lucky and got deuce and NO epel!!! i couldnt be fucking happier#then my job interview today never called and i was miserable again but it was an internal issue and im now rescheduled for next week#so please dear god pls guys pray i get this job. i want it sooooo bad
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the song of humanity will continue to be sung
#vash the stampede#trigun#trigun stampede#he means so much to me he means sooooo much i love him so much asfuahghdsgnkdsgk#VASHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#i posted it on twit but i was REALLY dreading ep 11 bc i figured that vash might cry#but instead he screamt into agony in which i cant even rewatch the episode#bc the va did such a good fucking job in conveying that terror and grief and guilt and it fucks me up so bad#vash makes me sad in EVERY adaption but stampede is like#we've only seen him be kind. he's just nice. he's serious and he's nice and he's kind. he treats everyone with so much delicateness and care#and the only time he raises his voice is for the protection of others and warning them#and now he's rung the wranger and i now have a hammer to knives' side#not even trying to be dramatic its just been awhile since a character has mattered to me in this kind of way#ruporas art
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#a doodley#i had to make this blue so tumblr would stop hiding it from the dash#anyway no caption this happened 2 hrs ago#im happy abt my surgery but it and other things this year keep beinging conversations like these up#and i cant handle it at all.#everything my dad tells me just makes me feel worse and not bc its anything bad but bc I Feel Bad#like the conversation then continued to him being like no dont cry im just saying i wpuld have wanted to#quit my job decades ago and set aside money so I wouldnt be struggling as much now but that didnt happen#and i just dont want that to happen to you guys :)#so we have to support u so that your life is what u want it to be#and i cried even more bc what do u mean. thats so sad. ur a person and u were a child and baby once and ur gonna die#and you always almost cry when u talk about your mom who passed away decades ago#and your brothers that passed away#recently and im going to be your age and still sobbing bc i miss my dad. just like i have been prematurely crying about since i was 7#the other day my dad asked my mom if i cried a lot when i was a baby/kid and my mom said no and then my dad#said that when i Did cry it was so severe he thought i would ''drown in my own tears''#bc i could never stop. like. thats still true today. ive been crying on and off since then#i think i mentioned he's just been telling me stories about his life lately and it further fuels this. i get so sad. im sorry your life was#like this. i dont want to die i dont want you to die im sad im sorry im sorry#im scared. im never going to see you again. how horrible. how horrible#i cant enjoy my day today bc every day is a day closer and i get sad
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Bit of a weird question, but what is your overall least favorite thing about MLP? 
Sparity.
#magicalgrimm#ask me#there’s a later season episode (post spike getting wings) that Tulli and I could not finish because it was so awful#where rarity’s feeling lonely without spike who’s grown up and moved on from his crush on her#so she gets extremely clingy and manipulatey to get this. teenage boy to pay attention and worship her again#and rarity gets visibly jealous of spike spending time with another teenage dragon girl#it’s extremely extremely creepy. by FAR rarity’s absolute worst rock bottom moment#actual textbook groomer behavior#and even worse the episode kinda shits on rarijack where rarity tried to replace spike with applejack in helping her#but aj fails and fucks things up and isn’t right for the job. so the episode implies spike is a better match with rarity than applejack#it’s just all sorts of wrong eugh.#sparity just sucks so bad I can’t believe a good chunk of bronies still ship them or consider them a viable ship#I’m fine with spike having a kid crush on rarity it happens with kids#but the more the writers just kept teasing and toying and baiting it. overstayed its welcome#especially because they have no chemistry. spike doesn’t have a reason for liking rarity other than “hot woman in her mid-20s’
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zero's pressure
#running out of gas. running out of money. out of time. out of energy. i'm running out of everything#and ofc my solution is to. avoid it. ignore it. do nothing productive.#zero's pressure turns into zero pressure#i'm trying to be kind to myself. i really have been trying. but it's hard when youre still headed to 0 on everything with no solution#because of yourself#i cant get a job. my art doesnt bring enough. i cant keep producing new products on the regular. i cant finish major comms on time#what CAN i do?#vent#just some adhd things#and maybe anxiety. and bad stress management#sorry for being so raw on main. its therapeutic even if it doesnt really lead to anything. it does force me to confront my feelings ig#i tend to get a burst of motivation after hitting a low like this but its a constant cycle that in the longterm really doesnt improve.#ill probably get some products done and do some quick comms. just one of those alone can cover gas for me#anyway some positivity to toot my own horn: i love the palette of this piece. went harder than i thought
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Spoiler!
[ Send “SPOILER!” and I’ll send a spoiler about the storyline. (CLOSED) ]
Possessing the 1P nations can make the 2P nations pretty sick… consider it like an advanced, interdimensional form of jetlag. There’s a variety of side effects, and some are more unpleasant than others.
SYMPTOMS MAY INCLUDE NAUSEA, BODY ACHES, HOMESICKNESS, CONFUSION, HALLUCINATIONS, DISSOCIATION, HALLUCINATIONS, HALLUCINATIONS, HALLUCINATIONS
#hetalia#hws america#hws canada#2p america#2p canada#2p hetalia#ask#anonymous#ask meme answers#1p mention#i dont think ive ever shown them possessing their 1ps bfeore... anyway its a mess#2p ita has a really bad start but quickly regains control#meanwhile ame is so miserable and incapable that canada has to get sent in early to keep him from arousing too much suspicion#2p ame cannot act at all... so shameful#current order in my head is north ita then ame then canada... then others ig loll#the background text is:#not your office not your desk not even your job so why...?#not your body and not your blood and not your pain and not your body#✌✌#btw 2pcanada is saying dont mention it#wherethebuttercupsgrow#repetition#unreality#tw
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Veilguard does the important work of reminding us that people's religiousity is generally rooted entirely in rationalism, logic, and goodwill toward everyone in the world and not just specific ingroups.
When the Elvhen pantheon, who in many ways take after the Greek pantheon from our world, are revealed to be flawed individuals, something that the Dalish are already aware of because their myths convey some of those flaws all these years later, logically, the Dalish then abandon their gods instantly and without any sort of emotional response and turn toward the rational goal of killing those gods.
After all, during the Trojan war when Apollo felt slighted and decided to send a plague to wipe out the Achaeans (and their dogs for some reason), didn't the Trojans all look at each other and go, "Actually, that was a kind of fucked up thing for Apollo to do. And scary. There's nothing to stop him from using that ability against us. Maybe we should just go kill Apollo"?
No? They didn't do that? Because that would be absurd and entirely out of keeping with how people understand and express faith throughout all of history?
Weird. Well, I'm sure there's an example out there somewhere that jives with Veilguard's quality writing.
#veilguard critical#datv critical#datv spoilers#this might be my dumbest post on this to date idk just#imagine going up to a christian and saying 'actually the devil had good reason to rebel against god'#in fact many people HAVE made that argument#and weirdly christianity still exists#just... the gods ar ereal and they are huge assholes!!!#yeah that religion existed and we have a LOT of info about the people who believed in it#the book of job is just god torturing a dude for a bet (isn't gambling immoral) and somehow I was taught I'm supposed to worship him harder#for it or something idk that story and its lessons never really made sense to me#just like yeah sometimes god is a dick even if you do nothing wrong you still have to act right anyway#like that's a major story in a major religion!!!!#anyway its fine it's whatever this post sucks but I need to get up but porthos is snuggling me so I can't so I'm trapped#and thus making bad posts#veilguard
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Btw just want to be clear that Time and Time Again is set to, and will if I don't pause, conclude in May 2025!
Webtoon didn't want to renew or give me any extra episodes so I'm trying to work with what I have. I'm sorry it's ending sooner than I'd like, it's been difficult to come to terms with and challenging to condense my plans.
You deserve a solid conclusion, and I've spent months writing to try and reach that. If there's anything you'd really like to see before it ends, do let me know in case I can (and want to) fit it in.
I'd rather not work with them again, and I hope I won't have to! But coming off of years being overworked and underpaid does not make that easy, to say the least...
I'm doing my best, and I hope you like what I have coming up.
#years of being overworked. underpaid. and literally manipulated and gaslit lmfao#it does not feel good to beg to be treated equally. and then told to be satisfied with less than that#it has been repeatedly demoralizing and insulting#and im not doing it again#i would rather nanny again (most exhausting job ive ever had) than work with them again#but. i would rather not!#I'd rather continue to make comics#but to do it full time i would need like 500 patrons on the $5 tier minimum...#which is SO MANY PEOPLE and incomprehensible to me#ive already proven to myself i can live on 25k a year but obviously its tight (i live in socal)#this. is not what this post is about#it's so hard for me not to complain about them#i feel bad for my current patrons i only share stuff on discord as of right now#well i do the merch packages but like#it's mostly just my discord#just dont have the time or energy to manage my patreon#cause idk if yall know but patreons site is TERRIBLE from the creator side???#it takes like 5 minutes to upload a single post it's ridiculous#so i cant manage it rn. I've thought about hiring someone to help me with it but i cant afford any help#anyways ultimately this is informing people its gonna end#and is turning into a vent around all of the stress surrounding that#like i literally had to take a couple months to just be sad its gonna end and come to terms with that#its hard! it's hard feeling so tossed aside and having your stories controlled even in part by someone else#anyways yeah#i havent finished writing the last arc yet#so theres space for me to fit stuff if theres something people really want#so id like to get in what i could if i can!#text post#sorry i always turn any thoughts about comics into vents about webtoon#theyre so ass man..... it's fine. im gone in may...
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It's 2am and I can't sleep, have this silly doodle
#art#zkretchy#dragon age 2#da2#hawke#anders#kirkwall may be our home and it felt homey in the way that smth is familiar and thus comforting#but also....boi is it a shithole#our shithole(affectionate)(and derogatory lets be real)#everyone: btw kirkwall is a shithole and apparently the veil is fucked there which is why everyone went crazy#its hilarious to start w/ 2 and then go into inquisition#where the first things ppl tell you is that many circles are actually p chill/normal and people were trying to achieve peace#between mages and templars before everything blew up (unrelated to anders)#vs kirkwall where basically the first thing you get told is all mages bad and the circle? even worse actually!#and everyone and their grandmother-mage uses bloodmagic(such evil :O) and turns into a demon one way or another#and the conflict is...there in da:i sure but not as prevelant at the start at the very least#ppl are much more chill about mages minus the rebel ones AND agree that templars can fuck up actually and not be good at their job in any w#diversity win: factions not led by fade-crazed-driven mage nor red-lyrium templar#as of right now....i am not trusting anyone anymore....keeping my eyes on all of my companions now lest they build a bomb again w/out telli
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remember that boobs dont dictate gender. trans people of any sort are allowed to have big boobs, small ones, none at all, anything. agab doesnt matter, there's no boob binary. intersex variation exists. etc
#not the most articulate but it gets the job done#not rly tagging this bc its just written w my own personal frustration#stop attacking your fellow trans people for their chest!!#stop ignoring intersex people too.#im transmasc and have DDs. it sucks#i cant really bind them#it hurts a lot when even fellow trans people act like im less trans / more 'womanly' for having them#etc etc etc whatever#if i worded smth bad sorry i jhust dont want the post to be a mile long
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we solemnly swear we're up to no good
#kinnporsche the series#kpts#vegaspete#this is about as done as it gets#its not done-done BUT I AM. its been a wip for like a year ITS TIME TO MOVE ON!!#also i had no plan for it other than vegas leaning his head on petes and i got that across so JOB DONE! SEND IN THE NEXT ONE!#i am proud of myself for coloring it though :)#like i DO NOT like to color stuff im bad at it and its fun only 10% of the time so naturally i dont do it much#the inking was the most fun even if it took an insane amount of time
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the reason why Luo Binghe and Shen Yuan can't attic wife each other in their house and never leave is that they don't have internet or anything else around to help keep them moving. I think we chalk too much of Shen Qingqiu being a super productive person post transmigration often too much to reading into things and treating his unreliable narration as fact.
But like, what is he supposed to do all if not actually go outside and talk to people and get a job. Luo Binghe needs to do things other than be a housewife for his own sanity so he doesn't cabin fever. He can't live focusing his day around a singular person being in the room its not healthy and would drive him insane. These are not overly productive constantly doing things people. These are people doing things to make sure they aren't malaise slugs feeling nothing in their day to day drudgery.
This is just what a healthy post/pre internet mental state kinda looks like.
#svsss#svsss shitpost#scumbag system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#luo binghe#bingqiu#i don't go into servers anymore or use anything but tumblr for a few hrs a day#the difference is astounding#scum villain self saving system#protagonist in isekai's don't leap to being better productive people just because they were actually always good and better than other#its because the internet is no longer sitting as a filter you can use#when you have to actually live in the real world and talk to people you have to learn to change how you approach conversation and free time#rich people in the real world aren't constantly going out to get jobs just to make daddy proud its also because they want something to do#humans are not meant to sit around doing nothing#part of the reason i think luo binghe had such an obviously bad time in the return to childhood special is he had nothing to do for months#he has no desire to play with kids#was too short to do a lot of his chores#couldn't socialize as an adult#and even his own boyfriend was too bored staying inside all the time#i don't doubt the man was dying inside wishing to turn back to normal simply because he had nothing to do
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remember when i had that dream where you [Y/N] have a sleepover with tumblr sexyman tony and sketchbook where you guys just end up in a polyamorous relationship ??? well . i tried to find a fanfic that would even slightly line up with the description. even if it was only vaguely
but uhhh ....
there were none . so i had to do it myself
#have i ever told you how fucking scared i am of tumblr sexyman tony and paige ?#actually . im not scared of them – but seeing them just makes me go into a fight or flight state#i hate my nine year old self for being obsessed with them . and i think they'd hate current me for being obsessed with digitaltime#so . really . i think we're even#can you tell which one i hate less ? [hint : it's not the blue twink]#anyway . im doing this more for you – the people who follow my account – than i am for myself#i tried to make it believable for the 2014 era of padlock but like i dunno how good or bad of a job i did (~_~;)#i hope they all get obliterated ; blown up to smithereens#dhmis#dhmis art#dhmis fanfic#dhmis tony#tony the talking clock#dhmis sketchbook#dhmis paige#paige the sketchbook#dhmis padlock#apparently there are no tony x reader or paige x reader tags on tumblr . so whoops#x reader fanfiction#x reader fic#for the first time in my life . i hope one of my posts / fanfics absolutely flops#my fanfiction#archive of our own#pls ignore#its not finished btw#and i don't know when ill be updating it#shrug
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Chameleon is the most ableist episode in all of Miraculous Ladybug holy fucking shit
this is all gonna be pre season 4 jsyk
Also serious note here, my words are not gospel. I myself am not physically disabled nor do I have severe enough disabilities that it requires specific accommodations. If anyone who has any experience with this has any input they want to add or wants to correct me on anything, you are more than welcome to.
Okay let's go
Immediately off to a bad start, Marinette is upset that she has to sit in the back because she doesn't want Lila to sit next to Adrien and no, this is not because she wasn't talked to about it beforehand, because when Adrien offered to sit in the back in her place Marinette adamantly refused.
And since Marinette really was causing such an unnecessary ruckus, (ill be momentarily ignoring that Lila was lying) she was making Lila feel bad for needing accommodations. Which is super fucked up of her. And also i distinctly remember Lila cuddling up to Adrien which made Marinette angrier but that's not in the transcript so take this with a grain of salt.
Okayyy the dreaded lunch scene. I have a lot of problems with this scene so I'll do the biggest one first: The fact that the narrative states that Lila is in any way benefiting from having a disability.
People carrying her lunch trays, getting her food, making sure she doesn't have to lift a finger because of her sprained wrist and treating it like shes benefiting from it is like. Atrocious on so many levels. Not only does it state that Lila is benefiting from having a disability but it also frames making accommodations for people with disabilities as being "used" in some way, which is why disabled people don't usually get the accommodations they need because they don't get "special privileges" or the people who should be accomodating them "refuse to play favorites." Horrible thing to teach children.
And then. The napkin scene. I'm gonna say it. Marinette is the fucking worst in this episode. She is being actively ableist here, assuming that since she had one bad experience with Lila being a liar, that she's lying about everything, including having a disability, which leads to her to try and "prove" that Lila is lying. Which is super fucked up.
She throws the napkin at her in order to prove that she's lying about having a sprained wrist, and since she doesn't like Lila this is an entirely okay thing to do ig/s. The reason why this scene in particular upsets me so much is because stuff like this happens in real life all the fucking time, and people have suffered because of it.
Neurodivergent and disabled people have to fight for accommodations or to be taken seriously, by literally everyone around them while neurotypical or able bodied people constantly brush them off or interrogate them in order to prove that they are disabled, and having the main character do someting like that and end up having her be framed in the right (eventually) is abelist as fuck.
The bathroom scene is also incredibly gross to me. Marinette corners Lila in the bathroom and LITERALLY SAYS (paraphrased) "I don't have the proof for it, but I know you're lying about your disability because you lied about being friends with a celebrity so therefore I get to be ableist as fuck towards you >:(" I don't think I have to explain why that's ableist.
Okay. The elephant in the room. Lila IS faking her disabilities. She IS pretending to have them in order to benefit off of other people. This is the biggest problem in the entire episode.
The narrative itself supports the idea that
1. People benefit from having disabilities
2. Attempting to "prove" that someone doesn't have a disability is okay
3. Making accommodations for people with disabilities is "using" the accommodating party in any way
4. Being ableist is okay as long as you're right in the end
And that is hammered in by this scene in particular. Marinette is being egregiously abelist throughout the entire episode and IS being the bad guy here but since the writer's need to make her NOT look like the bad guy turns out she's right Lila is faking everything and is evil lol/s
Its not just the characters themselves that are being ableist, the writing itself is so ableist that it is literally imbedded into the story of this episode and is essential in order for it to work at all. Which is a huge writing failure on the writer's part.
Okay I think I'm done. Is this coherent at all
Edit: Okay I think I failed to adequately criticize lila's part in this post. I think that what Lila did was egregiously disgusting and was incredibly uncomfortable to watch, but im not really sure what to say about it? I have thoughts on the matter yes but because Lila is such a nothing (until season 5/4 which I haven't really gotten to yet) character other than being Evil that it's hard to get frustrated with her in particular outside of my frustration with this episode in particular.
I'm very sure it's not clear so I'll say now: I like Marinette and hate Lila. But I also want to make sure that I'm criticizing the episode without my biases getting into the way, but I ended up going too hard on Marinette and not hard enough on Lila. Which. Is my mistake. Not that its anything to apologize for it's my post but I wanted to clarify
#i dont even think its marinettes fault at the end of the day shes the writer's puppet and her job for this episode was to be the fucking#worst#you literslly could not make her actions any better in this episode. there is nothing you could do short of getting rid of this episode-#entirely. its thag bad#ml salt#mlb salt#lila salt#ig?#miraculous ladybug salt#marrinette salt#technically#its really not her fault the writing is just really bad
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