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My hot take is that system littles wanting spaces where they can talk about not child safe things isn't because they aren't "really children", but because adults creating spaces for children become way too coddling and sanitized.
I am really my age and don't have emotional regulation or skill development of an adult. I also don't need to be handheld. Both camps are taking it to extremes and making it harder and I hate it.
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#littles in traumagenic systems have often experienced some of the WORST things that happened to their system#and i feel they do need space to talk about those things with other littles#and not have their conversation censored#a space like that should be carefully monitored to make sure predators dont try things#its needed in our opinion#endo friendly#plural community#pluralgang#plurality#pluralpunk#pro endo#mixed origin system#traumaendo#survivor systems
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yea
#i had posted this everywhere and it occurred to me that i hadnt on tumblr. which seems like a crime#keith kogane#vld keith#vld lance#vld fanart#lance mcclain#voltron#klance#can i rant for a bit#grabs the microphone Id like to thank this huge step on my voltron healing journey to my mom#who said 'oh its that show that made you cry in frustration! the kitties!'#and i said 'yes mother i was 15'#i dont think ive ever felt so. like. bullied? i dont wanna say ridiculed but#by a shows' producer#not since fucking BBC SHERLOCK#and i dont mean oh of course it wasnt gonna be canon. Of cours it wasnt I dont mean that#what i didnt need was getting baited left and right#the show milked the shit out of. lets be real here. young queer kids and then turned around and pointed and laughed when they gained hope on#their silly red blue ship to get canon#bc lets be real if anything queer was gonna happen. ambiguous non binary pidge was already there#two skinny attractive teen boys is like low hanging fruit. diet rep#but it wasnt even abt that. at least i truly never thought klance was srly gonna b canon. i HOPED. but like. i never shipped 4 canon anyway#i LIKED voltron. i loved lotor. i had always been a multishipper allur//ce was rkly cute i couldve dug that#if they hadnt spent the last season looking miserable AND THEN DYING#tf u mean our female lead died TF U MEAN THE LATINO MC BECAME A FARMER? w the forever marks of his dead gf on his face? Are you joking rn???#anyway. hit me up for more voltron opinions i got tons#(mic drop)
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longlegs fucking sucked 😭
#talkys#sorry for movie opinions post#i didnt know anything abt it going in other than serial killer and Mystery and i was soooooo so interested and enthralled#for a good chunk bc wow i like the framing the pacing the shots!#and then it gets to a point where its like oh...!#and then 📉📉📉📉↘️↘️↘️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️#like how did that movie feel like 3 hrs long#all that build up for the most eyerolly unsatisfying payoff#do u guys think its possible for horror movies to be Satisfying anymore?#saying dis as someone not as acquainted with the genre#we were talking about how like hereditary was Good but it wasn't...Scary....but its fine bc it was good#idek what im saying anymore but we regret seeing it we shouldve gone with our parents to bingo 😭💔#the main character rocked though...so awesome will graham#so extremely funny seeing ppl being like ''ummm sorry ur someone who thinks horror movies need to be jumpscares and dont like psychological#horror :/'' this was NOT psychological horror. it was a really interesting like Mystery for a good chunk and then at that Certain Point its#like oh. horror movie version of the ''and then he woke up'' cop-out to me. how boring. what a boring conclusion#not worth the whole previous hour of Good#i will say the shots of the hooded figure with the eyes unnerved me tho i had to look away 😭#MY SISTER LITERALLY FELL ASLEEP LMAO but at that point i was still very interested and hopeful#and then.
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ijbol idk man releasing screenshots of very polarizing things said in a private discord server between friends in a public "callout" post is #the most #tumblrific thing ive ever seen LOL.
#opinion 😱 in tags
#our life#gb patch#gb patch games#our life beginnings & always#i also think it should be acknowledged that the white queer 'experience' and the black queer 'experience' are totally different#bc there are multiple occasions where GBLady has recieved an ask where shes accused of Something bc of a super specific issue#this whole situation is just the biggest case of GetOverYourself ive ever seen icl#i think rose is entitled to their opinion as a black trans person + a person who previously identified as a trans man#i think its easy to attack rose as an inflammatory person who 'purposely incites discourse' bc they dont use that super-pacifying#everyone is welcome on my blog tone that if not used is immediately interpreted by white people as hostility and rudeness#i don't agree with a lot of their takes that ive seen on their blog that were allegedly posted BEFORE they became a sensitivity reader#but irdgaf#bc its their personal blog and theyre entitled to their opinion and i don't believe u get to feel insulted or slighted#or deem them as unprofessional and inflammatory just bc they didnt speak to u on their personal blog as Nicely as u wanted them to#i just think this all leads back to a growing sense of entitlement in the gb patch fan community#esp among the our life fans#just bc this is a deeply customizable game doesn't mean that the dev can customize Every Single Thing to ur liking#it also doesn't mean that ignorance on the devs part or the staffs part in most capacities is purposefully discriminatory in nature#like no offence but wdym 'ur hands are shaking and u need to get offline' bc of all of This... please grow up and go outside#also This is controversial but a lot of yall use the fact that GBLady is a white cis woman who happens to b writing stories#with a very diverse and nuanced cast to railroad ur ideals on how the characters should b written#and if they don't meet Your personal experience as a member of that marginalized community then They are automatically written incorrectly#again just a very entitled community IJBOL#idgaf if u disagree come and kill me over it 🤷🏾♀️#but also im very curious abt what people think !! 👁#i also dk how to phrase this but the white gb patch community also Reeks of this strange entitlement and i hate to say it but . . .#Sensitivity ??#they have this weird almost parasocial relationship with GBLady + this fantastical relationship with the characters themselves#LOL idk if anybody gets what i mean
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sorry for art-class-critique-posting again but one thing thats been very fascinating to see from my classmates and especially from my professors is this like, usually implicit but occasional explicit assertion that a lot of the artistic techniques, styles, and practices i happen to do (such as quick, unblended brushstrokes, paint drips, etc) are inherently "masculine". i personally am secure and comfortable with myself as a gender nonconforming woman so it doesnt affect me one way or the other much but i also can't help but feel like.......... do you think maybe the reason you dont see as many young woman art students doing these techniques might be because they feel a bit insecure or uncomfortable having their womanhood called into question just because they were a little more aggressive with their brushstrokes? of course abstract expressionism and movements of its ilk where boys clubs (as were most artistic movements in the history of time) and theres a lot to unpack with that but i dont think leaning into the idea that women only paint neatly with careful paint blending and soft colours is the way to go about this.........
#its an interesting bias i dunno. im not mad or anything but i feel like its a bit of an internalized misogynistic ideal that like#well i guess its been around since like. the dawn of art history as a field. but like these boxes put around women artists#i think its a little bizarre in the year of our lord 2024. i feel like a girl power childrens cartoon from 2004 having to be like#women can do anything a man can do you know.......... they can be any sort of way...... like i thought we knew this.....#its fascinating. my professor joked that keeping all your old sketchbooks is a thing men artists do? mostly as a joke about her husband#which is fine but it was also a bit of shrimp colours to me. shrimp artist gender expectations#i dont think my gender has a lot to do with old sketchbook hoarding habits. i keep mine because I Will Forget Everything otherwise#although i also think everyone should keep all their old sketchbooks forever if they can and its safe to do so#but thats a separate opinion LOL its a bizarre world out there. like i said im just a gnc woman but so often i feel like one of those like#thirst trap vine boys biting my lip and holding up a sign saying STOP MISOGYNY#i need to protect women (runs into heavy traffic) type situation i find myself in every day <3
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if i dont get into [college redacted] im straight up dropping physics. that school is the only reason im taking this secret layer of hell disguised as a class. i am not gonna put myself through another semester of this bullshit if i dont have to.
#boycritter et al#ill find out if i got in december#so i have plenty of time to drop the class if necessary#THE TOPIC IS FINE I JUST HATE MY TEACHER SO BAD ITS SO BAD#SHE TALKS DOWN TO US ALL THE TIME#someone asked if we would have a review day for our test soon (very normal thing to ask in my opinion)#and she was like 'if you dont know how to study for this class by now then im sorry but yr not going to do well. sometimes you need to take#some responsibility in your life. if you havent studied before ever you need to start now.'#like CHILL OUT
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'...you know jokes like those actually hurt me, right?'
"who said I was joking?"
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'oh.'
#vent#personal#delete later#so um#i don't talk with my family about stuff often cuz#they don't really listen#it's#they always think I'm putting on airs or acting when I say something#i mean#it's not#i don't really know whether or not i actually have a problem#but sometimes i check over my behavior and#some of it doesn't seem normal?#i mean i don't know i'm not an expert and my opinion doesn't mean much but#it just doesnt seem like something we're supposed to experience#so i'll tell them sometimes#well actually i've told them multiple times that i feel like something isn't right#i mean we told them about our back and leg pain maybe 3 years ago?#that wasn't taken seriously#even when i fell the first time it wasn't taken seriously#it took me actually breaking down and crying to miss a singular day of school#mentally speaking i think i might have something going on#i mean i've told my brother that i might have depression and#he just brushes it off and jokes about it#we get home and tell him we've had a bad day and he'll joke about how the m22's there for me and its#it really hurts but no one takes me seriously and i don't know if we're overreacting or if there's genuinely something wrong#in april the thing with my legs happened again and the next day i was told that i was fine and that i needed to go back to school and#And that's not wrong i've never missed school i don't miss school even when i am sick i take a day off and bounce right back but#It kind of feels like they don’t take me seriously?#this is stupid sorry i’ll take this down later
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I personally think a lot of the games industry layoffs coming from publicly traded companies is a shortcoming of capitalism. But like how can I even begin to explain that? The fact that it's illegal to run a company like that without doing everything in your power to maximize profits is killer. Because that means do everything in your power to make money now, within this quarter. Nevermind about long term. You have to do as much as you can right now. And I see layoffs as part of that. It's an immediate relief for a business to not have to pay as much out, but what about a year from now when you don't have those employees' labor anymore? What of the games they didn't make for you? Or the disruption to the employees who stayed?
For a game like destiny who switched to a fascinating live ops model with d2, surely you need to keep developing new things to keep the velocity high? You said the revenue follows from there? So why reduce your velocity so much so suddenly? Short term gain vs long term gain?
I'm sure things are more complicated than I'm making them out to be, but this keeps happening and I really just need to have something to believe as to why. I want there to be a reason so that there can theoretically be a solution.
#also the short vs long term thing also definitely impacts scope and dev times allowed#games as a business vs games as art is the eternal struggle I've faced in my career#and how I wish it wasn't always that art is sacrificed for business but that's all I've ever seen#its less risky. you need good money to make good games but so too do you need good games to make good money#and so to take no artistic risks is I feel the biggest risk of all. to be like every other game and hope to survive by sheer bigness#our medium can be more than that#but maybe not today not at many studios#hopefully one day#but until then the eternal struggle carries on#PS: opinions are all my own#I dont even have a name attatched to this blog but still. Know this is just the thoughts of a single dev who is tired
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designing graduation albums must be one of the cringiest thing ever kids im sorry i know if u'd see it u'd feel sooooooo cringe
#atp i dont get it bc i hated school idk. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa dear god#+ like yk. neighbourhood specific. idk how to explain in eng but тебе нужно пояснять and its like a scary thing actually#<- this is why i feel anxious posting somethin here haha i think. one of the reasons#But anyway. I think when its bout teen & kids u need to talk to them like#Fkin interview them tet-a-tet... They all r so different & vivid. Like im enamoured how#Our theater treat kids/teens (<- they also have actor study not only theater. Like teachin kids etc)#And how they always sooo respectful to kids & actually interested in their opinion & give them freedom#So easy to tell that our director is pisces... We share one braincell & believe in the same believes
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mom got a new motorcycle bc she wanted to get rid of our old one... so sad i'll have to sell blanca 💔
#our old one (blanca) is a white underbone from a japanese brand#our new one (nameless) is a red standard motorcycle from a brazilian brand#kinda sad bc i loved blanca.... even tho she's small and short....#and the thing is she djdnt even ask me anything and i use the motorcycle way more than she does......#it still feels like a waste of money to me bc we needed a new car wayyyy more than we needed a new motorcycle#but whatever i guess -_- not that my opinion matters as it's not my money lol#as long as i can drive it's cool#good thing is that the new bike has a clutch and the old one didnt so im relearning how to use it and its fun#the new bike is really tall so i have to stand on my tippy toes to get on it lol#222
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Personally, I felt like episode 8 was the show telling us it wasn't going to be renewed. After 7+8 I never had any hope for its renewal. It just felt too final, and not in a good way, but rather that the show had no confidence that it would get renewed either. If it had ended on a cliffhanger I would at least felt something like sadness towards the show not getting renewed.
And even if it was renewed I felt like it wouldn't be able to fix any of the issues that season 2 had, but rather just continue them further. Max seemed really ready to sabotage the show long before it even was renewed, and with the various production restraints that the show encountered during s2 I can only figure as much.
Like if the issue was the budget, that'll still be a problem, if its the pacing I have no confidence that hbo would renew it for more than 8 episodes, and if the problem was executives changing the show and altering beloved characters thats not going away either.
I remember reading that s2 underperformed compared to S1 and it also ended with alienating a large (and active) portion of the audience, but it in terms of online interaction it still out performs many of the shows on the platform that have been renewed and is a well rated show that has an audience. We already know that the head of warner bros is a turd of a man whose only interest is money for himself, and whose choice surrounding HBO/Max has been incredibly stupid and demeaning towards all forms of filmmaking
I feel like it was intentionally set up to fail, because all Max wants is cheap TV or at least a show that can be drawn out forever and make as much money as possible, which Ofmd isn't, its a 3 season show with sets that have to he constructed, vfx that needs done, and costumes that need sewn. They cut the budget, shortened the episodes, and influenced the story all to make it look bad, so they could justify their decision of not renewing it while also getting to rack in money from ofmd's fanbase one last time.
#ofmd#our flag means death#and yes some of my opinion might be influenced by being apart of side that got alienated#but i feel like s2 just sucked dry what was so fun about gb in s1#and the ending was just so abrupt and random but hard to get out of or continue without needing to change the show or undermine ep8#it just lacked confidence that there would be a season 3#there was no cliffhanger to make a viewer excited for s3 it was just over.#and a shot of a grave of all things too 😬 like telling you the shows dead#i didn't make this post to debate izzy or whether the show is good actually#i think that we can all agree that s2 had a lot of really good scenes in it. but theres a lot of things#in it that don't stand up to scrutiny. or even follow its own set universes rules in sloppy ways
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cant sleep gonna say my thoughts.
I think what a lot of people miss about tumblr (and especially unfocused blogs that, say, aren't fandom oriented) is that it's essentially an open journal. it's a microblogging website, and all blogging micro or macro is fundamentally a web log (where the term comes from!). if it seems like I'm not talking ab something enough, it's not because I don't care at all.
It's because first and foremost, this blog is a piece of my soul that I am choosing to share. I'm not trying to be an activist on the internet, I'm not trying to sway anyone to my opinions. I'm saying the things I think and feel. If I talk ab american politics too much, that's because im american. if I'm writing frustrated posts about performative internet activism, that's because it feels exhausting to be out there doing the work (because that's what it is. Its work. Its boring and taxing and it feels like youre getting nowhere. Until you see how far youve come) and having to come to tumblr and seeing people say I didn't talk about [disaster 30000 of the past ten years] enough.
if I seem angry and upset and scared and irrational, its because i am those things. you have to understand. in spite of my rather large follower number, this blog is, first and foremost, for me. I am writing things down and allowing strangers and friends and wanderers to read it. I won't call it a privilege that can be taken away, bc its not like some of my thoughts are exactly a treat, but it is something to keep in mind.
if you ask me why I'm talking about the supreme courts recent decisions but not similar decisions in other countries, the answer comes down to "one of those directly affects me, and therefore i can fight back."
but I shouldn't have to announce where and how I'm fighting back. if for no other reason, my own fucking safety. but also bc this blog isn't any sort of guide to activism, it's not any type instruction. it is, at best, my diary that I published.
and that isn't a bad thing!! and it shouldn't be!!! that's why I harped so hard on the carrd post. that's why I'm vaguely annoyed with my reddit posts. that's why I shared my marital status and sexuality for a long time. that's why i have a rwby icon. that's why my blog title which hasn't changed since 2018 is what it is.
I understand that sometimes I have opinions people don't like. oceangate in particular has proven to be a fantastic example of that. But i am, at the most basic terminology, venting my thoughts and feelings.
that's why I'm talking ab the supreme court and their awful decisions. why I may not be talking about issues that don't directly affect me, but might affect some of you. it's not because i don't care. It's never because I don't care.
It's because my target audience is a mirror.
#you need to understand.#im well aware of my bad reputation for not reblogging dono posts and for defending teenagers into dsmp#(not even dsmp itself! just the people who like it.)#i am MORE than aware of the evils on my carrd post im the one who has to see it.#but ultimately i stand by the things i say unless i change my mind.#if i change my mind its because i have more information than i did before#(ie. again. oceangate. i went back and forth as info came out. because i wanted to have an *informed* opinion)#but if i believe in what i said. if i hold to the principle i am espousing#its hard for me to apologize for anything more than i might have worded it weird#but at the end of the day#of the month#the year#life.#this blog. MY blog. is a record of alex storm-of-feathers#if someday a historian figures out our internet and how to access it#i want them to know#i want YOU to know#my name is alex#this is my journal#this is not any type of record on historical events#this is not me trying to organize activism#this is simply me.#my name is alex.#please remember that.#please remember me.
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ppl really b acting as if there's only one specific ship that has weird shippers that will complain about ppl not shipping their otp. it's literally always the case you either get fucked over for liking a gay ship or for liking a straight ship or for liking a toxic ship or people just start going "oh there's nothing wrong with the ship but the shippers💀" and you don't fucking know what they're talking about. like can we all just chill. the weird shippers r everywhere it's called some ppl are assholes sometimes. it's not fandom specific
#it's like with the “x ship sent death threats to the author!”#first of all : proof?#second of all: I've heard this for multiple diff ships that is not new that is not exclusive to one fandom or one ship.#sometimes ppl in fandom r too invested and do stupid shit#god#I'm sorry I doomscrolled another Instagram reel comment section#it's just. I'm so tired of ppl talking about mha's fandom as if it's the worst thing of all time?#first of all no its not? fucking chill?#second of all. if the fandom is ruining the show for you then genuienly get off the internet#third. so sorry but half of the time when ppl say the mha fandom is awful they're either calling it cringe (fandom is always cringe get over#it it's ok) they're complaining about everything being gay (so you're a homophobe ok. literally what is wrong with making character queer#ON OUR OWN INTERPRETATIONS OF THE STORY. DUDE.#)#or theyre just.... picking up random shit thats been rumored to have happened or that's just an isolated thing that happens all the time in#every fandom (refer to my earlier points)#genuienly. if the fandom pisses you off that much. get off the internet . block the tags. like for your health.#it's so annoying to try and look at mha stuff or even TALK IRL#WITH PEOPLE WHO LIKE MHA#(i am not fucking with you this has happened)#and being told or reading that oh mha is fun but the fandom sucks :///#sorry you don't experience whimsy and are incapable of curating your own experience?#Jesus#(there's also the ppl who r like ugh mha is mid mha sucks in like comments of mha fan but like fuck these guys#you're entitled to your opinion I if you don't like mha that's fine I'm not going to throw eggs at you but like...#why do u feel the need 2 go into a comment section of stuff that is about mha to say that mha sucks actually and the author is bad and the#characters r badly written and blah blah blah. LEAVE ME ALONEEEE)#Anyway maybe one day I will finally leave Instagram but for now I can't bc fukcing. ppl r on there#mumblings//#rant
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reading my medical records is like reading a diary thats been put through google translate multiple times . still the most info i get abt how we were doing at the time bc amnesia is a bitch!
#do NOT like having to rely on doctors opinions on how we were presenting esp since most of them did not care to respect our identity#its also funny tho#shoutout to our doctor noting our alters in the notes sometimes??#our DID stuff is backdated by years atp .. and we still cant find a psych that will do an evaluation that we need in order to get therapy.#ok <3 . yay
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reading takes about last nights game from people who eye-test their way through anything is so funny like. they are watching something so entirely different than anyone else. it's almost commendable how stupid you can soundlkfjdsl
#am34 coasting... top line looking terrible(?).... nylander career year ahead based on effort... our only chances came from perimeter#girl what the FUCK were u watching. the inverse of all of that is literally true and backed by stats what are u even saying klJFDKNSL#its like. incredible in a way. to be so wrong.#eye test is just like. my subjective opinions are right :) lkJFKLD and then u see any of the breakdowns after the game#this sport needs to integrate stats even fucking more so i can stop seeing the dumbest among us emboldened
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people on twitter have such an incredible ability to hate people i also hate in ways that are genuinely so stupid that i end up having to defend people i hate against them. its incredible
#like i literally hate yamila rodriguez and yet i KEEP having to defend her on twitter because people are being#SO misogynistic and also lack so much common sense. its incredible. its insane#she supported villa and hated on messi so i don't like her yes. but people genuinely think that this should get her#kicked out of the national team or that they shouldnt let her play more games until she apologizes like are you INSANE???#we're in the MIDDLE OF A WORLD CUP and there's ACTUAL RAPISTS playing by the DOZEN during men's#tournament with absolutely no problem but you're telling me we need to kick out one of our players MID WORLD CUP because#her opinions fucking suck?? what the fuck are you on? oh my fucking god#hermy posts
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