#i need to find someone else who has also thought about this and chat. hear other opinions to concretize my own

[woodfrogs]

ive recently been having a lot of thoughts on politics and science and social media and the intersections of & interactions between the three

[pucksandpower]

Mine

Carlos Sainz x Reader

Summary: Carlos wants everyone to know you’re his and he knows exactly how to make that happen

Warnings: 18+ content heavily implied, manipulation, tampering with birth control, pregnancy

“Who was that?”

You glance up to find Carlos’ gaze fixed on the rearview mirror of his sleek Ferrari, eyebrows furrowed. His usually cheerful brown eyes are clouded with something you can’t quite place.

“Who?” You ask, feigning ignorance though you know he’s referring to the tall, blond man who had lingered just a bit too long by your side during the after-race party.

“The cabrón in the blue suit,” he grinds his teeth. “Never seen him around before.”

“Ah,” you laugh, reaching out to playfully flick at the bridge of his nose, “just someone from the event planning team. Harmless.”

Carlos doesn’t smile back. His grip on the steering wheel tightens and the set of his jaw becomes more pronounced. “He touched your arm.”

“He was just being friendly,” you reason but a hint of defensiveness creeps into your voice.

There’s a pause as Carlos winds the car through the foreign streets. You can feel his frustration.

“You’re being naive,” he finally says. “It’s not just him. Everywhere we go, I see them looking at you. The way Daniel winks at you, how Lewis always finds an excuse to chat, even the staff and the fans. Don’t you see it?”

It’s not like you can deny that. Ever since the two of you went public with your relationship, attention has been inevitable. You’re the envy of many and the object of desire for countless others. But Carlos’ brooding possessiveness is new and you’re not sure how to address it.

“They’re just our friends,” you murmur. “And fans are fans. They’re excited to see you and by extension me too. That’s all.”

He exhales heavily. “It’s not just about them being friends or fans. It’s the entitlement, the audacity they have, thinking they can just ... approach you like that. Like they have any shot with you.”

You roll your eyes even though he won’t see it while focused on the road. “I can handle myself. Besides, I chose you. They’re nothing to me.”

The car pulls up to the entrance of a crowded nightclub, its entrance flashing with neon lights. Carlos stops in front of the valet, swiveling in his seat to face you.

You’re taken aback by the intensity in his eyes.

“Yes,” he says in a husky whisper, “you chose me. And I chose you. But I can’t stand by and watch these pretenders think they have a shot with you.”

You swallow hard, shocked by the raw emotion in his voice. “You can’t control who talks to me or looks at me. I love you and that’s all that matters.”

He leans in, placing a soft kiss on your forehead. “I know,” his lips brush your skin. “But I also know how men think and I won’t stand for them disrespecting you or our relationship.”

“We’re in the public eye. This is something we will always have to deal with. Trust me, trust us.”

His gaze searches yours, dark eyes imploring. “I trust you,” he says. “It’s them I don’t trust.”

You wrap your fingers around his much bigger ones. “We’ll get through this. Together.”

Carlos sighs, resting his forehead against yours. “I just … I can’t bear the thought of anyone else ever having you.”

Your heart swells. “Mi amor, I’m not going anywhere. The ring on my finger is there because I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

He pulls you across the console, setting you on his lap as he wraps his arms around you while ignoring the valet waiting right outside the car. “I know. I just ... I need to make sure that everyone else knows too.”

***

Carlos finds himself in a dimly lit pharmacy aisle, heart racing. The overhead fluorescent lights throw ghostly shadows between the narrow rows. He can hear the soft hum of a distant conversation, punctuated by the rustling of paper bags and the occasional beep of the cash register.

But for Carlos, everything feels distant, like he’s viewing the world through a thick veil.

He stops in front of a shelf, his gaze locking onto the birth control pills. Rows upon rows of them, each promising freedom … autonomy.

His mind rushes back to the countless conversations he’s had with you.

“I want to finish school first,” you would always say earnestly. “Kids are a big responsibility. We have all the time in the world for them later.”

But Carlos doesn’t feel like he has time. He has fought with this internal battle for months. The thought of marking you as his, of the world knowing through the unmistakable swell of your belly, appeals to his most primal instincts.

“Can I help you?” A voice interrupts his thoughts.

He turns to see the pharmacist looking at him with a tentative smile. He tries to gather his thoughts, suddenly feeling like a deer caught in headlights. “I, um, need some pills. Sugar pills.”

The pharmacist frowns. “For a placebo effect?”

Carlos nods, trying to seem nonchalant. “Yeah, something like that. My little cousin needs them for her science fair project.”

She hesitates for a moment then reaches behind the counter, pulling out a small box. “We have these. They’re usually used for clinical trials but they should do the trick.”

He pays for the pills and quickly hides them in his pocket. He thinks about how you would react if you ever found out. But the thought of you carrying his child, the undeniable mark of his claim clear for all to see, is too much to resist.

The next morning starts as it always does. You stretch and make your way to the bathroom, your daily routine staring with the familiar sound of the pill package being opened.

Carlos stands at the doorway, watching as you take your daily birth control. He knows he should feel guilty but instead he is consumed by a heady mix of anticipation and possessiveness.

He imagines your body changing, growing round.

“Morning,” you smile up at him.

He steps closer, wrapping his arms around you. “Morning. How did you sleep?”

You lean into his embrace, enjoying the warmth and solidity of his body against yours. “Like a baby. Must have been the post-race celebrations.”

Carlos chuckles but there’s a tension to it, an undercurrent of something more. “I’ve been thinking,” he begins.

You pull back slightly to look up into his eyes, “Mmmh. About?”

“Us. Our future.”

Your heart skips a beat. “What about it?”

He hesitates, his gaze searching yours. “I want to start a family with you,” the words come tumbling out in a rush. “I know you want to wait but the thought of you carrying my child … our child ... I can’t get it out of my head.”

“I love you," you choose your words carefully. "So much. But I’ve told you how I feel. I’m not ready.”

He lets out a heavy breath, the weight of his decision pressing down on him. “I know. I just can’t help how I feel.”

“We’ll get there when the time is right,” you press a kiss to his bare chest. “I promise.”

***

“Why are you looking at me like that?” You ask, feeling his eyes linger on you as you change out of your dress. The dimly lit bedroom is filled with the ambient sounds of Mallorca nightlife. From the open balcony door, you can hear the soft crash of waves and distant murmurs of evening revelers.

Carlos chuckles lowly. “Like what?”

“Like you’re planning something,” you eye him suspiciously but your voice is playful

He stands, taking a few purposeful steps towards you. “Maybe I am,” he corners you against the wall. The heat of his body warms your own, even through the layers of clothing.

You wrap your arms around his neck. “Planning what?”

He leans down, lips grazing the curve of your ear. “To remind you,” he whispers, “that you’re mine.”

You shiver at his words, the dominant tone sending a thrill down your spine. “Is that so?” You challenge, arching a brow.

His hands slide down your waist, pulling you impossibly close. “Very much so,” he replies, sealing his words with a searing kiss.

As the two of you move to the bed, there’s an urgency, a raw need that wasn’t there before.

Every touch, every kiss, every caress feels even more intense than usual.

“Why are you so ... insistent tonight?” You gasp out through the overwhelming rush of sensations.

Carlos halts momentarily, gazing down at you with hooded eyes. “I want to make sure you never forget,” his voice is rough. “Forget what we have. Forget how deep this goes.”

“I could never forget,” your fingers move with a mind of their own to tangle in his hair.

His lips find yours again. “Promise?”

You nod, getting lost deeper and deeper in the moment. “Promise.”

Hours pass in a blur of passion and whispered confessions. The intensity of Carlos’ actions betrays an underlying need and desperation that are hard for you to place.

As the sun rises above the horizon outside, you find yourself curled up against Carlos’ chest, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on your skin.

“You were different tonight,” you murmur as your eyes slowly lose their battle against sleep.

Carlos tenses momentarily. “I just wanted to make sure you know," he says lowly. “Know how much I need you. How much I want you.”

You prop yourself up on an elbow, studying his face. “I know,” you brush a stray lock of hair off his forehead. “But what brought this on?”

Carlos hesitates, searching for the right words. “I can’t shake the feeling that something is going to try to come between us,” he admits. “And I need to make sure that never happens.”

Your heart aches at his words and the vulnerability in his eyes. “Nothing is going to come between us,” you lean over to capture his lips tenderly. “We’re much stronger than that.”

Carlos smiles and flips himself on top of you once more. “I’ll make sure of it.”

***

“Ouch!” You exclaim, pulling away as Carlos’ hands brush against your chest. The sudden sensitivity catches you off guard.

Carlos raises an eyebrow, eyes darkening with a mix of concern and something else — something unreadable. “Mi corazón? What’s wrong?”

You shake your head, trying to make sense of the unexpected pain. “I don’t know. I’ve been feeling kind of ... off lately.”

He moves closer, tilting your chin up to meet his gaze. “How so?”

You shrug, “Just more sensitive, I guess. And tired. And don’t even get me started on how my clothes have decided to stop fitting properly.”

Carlos smirks, a hint of smugness playing on his lips. “Maybe you’ve just been enjoying Spanish cuisine a little too much.”

You roll your eyes, swatting him playfully. “Funny. But seriously, it’s weird. I’ve been doing my workouts, eating right, and still ...”

He pulls you close, fingers tracing the smooth curve of your waist. “I like the changes,” his voice is muffled as he presses a soft kiss to your neck.

You shiver, torn between the pleasure of his touch and the lingering feeling that something just isn’t right. “It doesn’t feel like me,” you try to shake off the unease.

Carlos tightens his grip, gaze intensely locked on yours. “Maybe it’s just ... natural changes. You know, as we get older.”

You frown, pulling away slightly. “But I’m in my twenties. I shouldn’t be feeling like this.”

He brushes a strand of hair behind your ear. “Look, bodies change. I’m sure everything is fine.”

You’re not convinced but you nod, pushing the uneasy feeling to the back of your mind. “Maybe.”

Carlos watches you closely, the smugness returning to his features. “Besides,” he says, voice dropping to a husky whisper, “I kind of like the changes. You look ... fuller.”

You blush. “Thanks, I guess.”

He laughs, pulling you close again. “Always so modest,” he presses a soft kiss to your lips.

You melt completely against him, the warmth and familiarity of his touch pushing away the unease, at least for the moment.

But as the days pass, the changes become more pronounced, the nagging feeling that something is wrong growing stronger.

Carlos, on the other hand, seems happier than ever, his possessiveness reaching new heights. He is constantly by your side, his touch lingering, his gaze intense.

“You’re glowing,” he comments one day, eyes tracing your body.

You roll your eyes but hide a smile. “I think you need to get your eyes checked.”

“I’m serious. There’s something … different about you. I like it.”

You frown, trying to make sense of his words. “Different how?”

He thinks for a moment, searching for the right words. “You just seem more radiant. More alive.”

You shake your head, laughing softly. “I think you’re seeing things.”

Carlos smirks. “Maybe,” his hands slip under the material of your shirt, caressing your slightly bloated belly. “Or maybe I just know you better than you know yourself.”

***

“I’m what?” Your voice wavers as you clutch the edge of the doctor’s desk in shock, the coolness of the surface grounding you.

The doctor, a middle-aged woman with kind eyes, looks between you and Carlos. “You’re pregnant,” she repeats gently, handing over the sonogram.

Carlos breaks into a wide grin. “That’s incredible!” He pulls you into a tight embrace, placing kisses all over your face.

But as the news sinks in, panic sets in. Your future plans — graduating with your degree, establishing a career — all seem to crash around you.

You gently extricate yourself from his hold, taking a deep breath. “How is this possible? I’m on birth control! We’re always so careful.”

The doctor tilts her head, looking through her notes. “No birth control method is 100% foolproof,” she says. “It’s rare but it can happen.”

Carlos’ fingers lace through yours, his touch warm and reassuring. “It’s going to be okay,” he whispers, squeezing your hand.

Tears well up in your eyes, the overwhelming emotions threatening to drown you. “I still have a year of school left. I wanted to be established in my own career … this wasn’t part of the plan.”

Carlos cups your face. “Hey,” he murmurs, wiping away a tear with his thumb. “You don’t have to worry about any of that. You have me.”

You blink. “Carlos, I want to work. I want a career. I don’t want to be dependent on you.”

He smiles. "You won’t be dependent. You’ll be cared for. Isn’t that what you want?”

You take a step back. “I want to be my own person. I want to make my own choices.”

Carlos’ gaze darkens, the dominant edge returning. “You will be. But you’ll also be mine. That’s what is important now.”

***

You’ve quickly come to love the sensation of your growing belly, cherishing each gentle flutter and kick from the perfect being within, knowing that it’s a bond that only you and Carlos share.

“Good morning, little bean,” you whisper, rubbing the gentle swell of your belly. Every morning, this small act helps you bond with the life growing steadily inside of you.

Carlos enters the room, his hair still tousled from sleep. The morning sunlight casts a warm glow on his chiseled features. “Frijolito is lucky to have a such a beautiful mama,” he murmurs, sidling up to you and wrapping an arm around your waist. His hand finds its place on your belly, fingers splayed and feeling for any hint of movement.

“I am huge,” you complain with a mock pout.

He leans down, capturing your lips in a searing kiss then pulling back to tilt your chin up. “You’ve never looked more beautiful.”

“You have to say that,” you tease. “I’m carrying your baby.”

“Partly,” he admits, sliding his hand up to cup your face, “but mostly because it’s true. You would put Helen of Troy to shame.”

Weeks pass and your body continues to transform.

There’s a softness, a roundness, that wasn’t there before, and it’s something that Carlos revels in. His hand is constantly on your belly, possessive and protective. Every time another man’s gaze lingers a little too long on you, Carlos’ lips curve into a smirk, silently declaring his ownership.

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” You ask one evening as the two of you settle into bed.

Carlos raises an eyebrow. “Enjoying what?”

“Having every man that looks at me know that I’m yours,” you poke him playfully on the chest.

“Maybe,” his hand slides down your body. “Is that a problem?”

You sigh, nestling closer to him. “No,” you admit. “It’s kind of nice, actually.”

Carlos grins, pressing a kiss to your belly. “That’s my girl.”

The months fly by and soon the reality of your impending motherhood sets in. There are nursery preparations, birthing classes, and endless discussions about baby names. Through it all, Carlos is by your side, excitement never wavering.

“Can you believe we’re going to be parents?” You marvel one day, looking around the nursery.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life,” Carlos says. “You and our frijolito are my everything.”

Happy tears well up in your eyes. “I love you,” you whisper, burying your face in his chest.

Carlos tightens his grip, resting his chin on top of your head. “Yo también te amo.”

The next race day arrives and as always, Carlos calm and collected. But recently there has been a different kind of energy to him, an intensity that was never there before.

“Promise me you’ll be safe,” you clutch his hand.

Carlos smiles, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips and then another on your belly. “I promise,” he says, eyes locking with yours. “I have too much to come home to ever do otherwise.”

***

“It’s time,” you gasp, clutching the bedsheets as another contraction hits.

Carlos lets you grip his hand impossibly tight. “Breathe, mi corazón,” he urges, wiping the sweat off your forehead.

Hours pass in a blur of pain and anticipation. Through it all, Carlos is by your side, his touch both comforting and grounding.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, a small cry pierces the air. Tears stream down your face as you catch your first glimpse of your son, his tiny face scrunched up in protest.

“He’s absolutely perfect,” Carlos says thickly, tears gathering as he kisses you gently.

You smile weakly, the exhaustion of a long labour weighing you down. “Our little bean,” you whisper, cradling your son close.

Carlos wipes away an escaped tear. “Our frijolito,” his gaze never leaves your son’s face.

As you start feeding your son for the first time, Carlos’ face softens and his eyes fill with awe. “I can’t believe we made something so amazing,” he traces a finger over your son’s tiny hand.

You smile, heart swelling with love. “He’s perfect,” you whisper, tears streaming down your face.

Carlos leans down to press a soft kiss to your son’s forehead and then another to yours. “You did incredible. Thank you for giving me everything I could ever ask for.”

You smile. “We did this together.”

Carlos nods, his gaze locked onto your son’s face. “I promise you that I will always take care of you both. You will never have to worry about a thing.”

“I know," you whisper as you let contentment and tiredness drift you off to sleep.

As the days pass, Carlos becomes even more possessive and protective, his love for you and your son deepening with each passing moment. He is constantly by your side, reluctant to leave either of you for even a second.

One evening, as the two of you sit on the balcony, watching the sunset while your son dozes away, Carlos turns to you. “I want to give you more.”

You raise an eyebrow, a teasing smile playing on your lips. “More what?”

Carlos smirks and pulls you close. “More children,” he murmurs, pecking your lips. “I want to fill you with my babies.”

You laugh, “One is enough for now.”

Carlos chuckles but his face is serious. “We’ll see.”

Carlos knows that he will ensure it happens just like he did before.

He’ll keep you bound to him forever.

[causenessus]

cold kisses

part 0.3. USER 7193

PLAYING FROM KODZUKEN'S STREAM . . . feels by calvin harris

maybe he should have expected this. 

nearly all of his posts have been overrun with questions about y/n in the comments. the comments range from simple “who was the girl in your cooking stream??” demands to extremely specific ones detailing her exact hair color, height, and voice pitch as if he’s had another mysterious girl on a stream that he’ll confuse her for.

he’s been doing his best to avoid questions about her but it could only work for so long. now there’s only questions about y/n left in the chat and he’s not sure what to do. it was easy to ignore the questions when he wasn’t doing an entire question and answer live stream but he’d promised to do one soon and he thought having shoyo with him was going to help. 

it did for the most part, and everything seemed normal but he was at a loss for words when the chat started to flood with questions about y/n.

shoyo leaned closer to read a question outloud, “‘girl from the cooking stream?’ i keep seeing that, do they not know–”

a reflex kicks in and he slaps a hand over shoyo’s mouth, pushing him away from the screen again before removing his hand trying to act normal.

the ginger looks at him, a mix of surprise and confusion on his face. “sorry,” kenma apologizes quickly, shocked by his own actions. “no, they don’t know anything about her,” he answers, trying to make it clear that he wants to keep it that way.

but the chat is already too far gone, using this one mention to run wild with theories. he can’t blame them, really. sometimes they’re a little over the top and unnecessarily pushy as if they have no sense of respect but in this scenario what else could they talk about besides a mysterious person that just entered the picture? but that didn't mean he enjoyed dealing with it.

messages transition quickly from asking what they “don’t know about” to inferring that he has a secret girlfriend. he groans, looking away from the screen. his mind working fast to try and come up with an excuse or explanation; a single mention of her and they already think he’s dating someone. he’s sure that the internet would go crazy with this information as well, fabricating stories, scandals, and everything in between.

his phone starts to buzz.

speak of the devil.

it’s a notification from twitter, some unofficial update account that’s tagged him about having a secret girlfriend.

he needs to think.

he can see shoyo eyeing him out of the corner of his eyes and he knows he’s been silent for too long on camera.

god, someone was going to find out who she was soon, right? weren’t fans supposed to be good at doxxing each other?

but how does he play off being roommates with an olympic athlete? an olympic athlete whose currently being shipped to the max with the most typical copy and paste guy everyone has the hots for?

maybe it’d be better for him to leave it to a random fan to find out who she is and announce it to the world–no, then he’ll just look bad for hiding things after so much has already come to light. it’s best for him to come up with an excuse right now. if he said she was his girlfriend maybe he could ask them to leave her alone. maybe they’d listen to him.

it sounded like his best option but he couldn’t just make that decision on his own without talking to her.

but he also couldn’t stand up and the leave the room for an unprecedented amount of time after keeping quiet for so long.

he looks at the chat one more time, seeing the word girlfriend in nearly every message. if they already think they’re dating it can’t be that bad, right?

“kenma…?” shoyo breaks him out of a trance, touching him on the back.

kenma looks at him, unsure of what to say. he feels dizzy and his mind won’t stop whirring with thoughts and worries.

“you’ve been really quiet,” shoyo lowers his voice so that only kenma can hear him, “i think you need to say something.”

he glances at the chat again. still stuff about y/n.

she’d be okay with it, right? maybe if she isn’t he’ll just tell twitter that his girlfriend broke up with him because his fans are pushy little shits and he’ll agree with her word for word and then his fans will cancel him and he can move to another country and live a happy little life working in a cat shelter–

no. he likes his life the way it is now. he’s winged everything so far but he’s grown quite a small community for himself this way. he can do this. if y/n doesn’t agree, he’ll figure something out later.

“okay,” kenma finally speaks, dropping his hands that he’s been running through his hair absentmindedly. “since none of you guys are gonna leave this alone, yes. the girl from that last stream is my girlfriend, happy?” he watches his chat run wild with numerous exclamations. he thinks finally about his poor moderators. he’ll definitely have to give them something after this stream. “i’ve been trying to lay low about it because i didn’t want the world to freak out but now it’s out. just try and be respectful, okay? i love her a lot.” the words aren’t hard to say when they’re about her. he can say them honestly and play them off as a joke later, but for now he enjoys how nice it feels to say it.

he can see that shoyo has frozen up out of the corner of his eye. he needs to end this stream before either of them say something else they shouldn’t. he’ll answer a few more questions and slowly ease into a goodbye so that he can end the stream and debrief shoyo.

prev. | m.list | next

extras <3

this is a long chapter i'm sorry 💀 literally there's more but i tried to split this evenly into two chapters

kenma was literally just going through some random person's account who made edits of ice skating partners to self sabotage himself

yn wasn't sure when they'd be releasing partner pair ups and really freaked out when they were announced

she was texting everyone and tweeting a ton

she messaged her media girl like "hey i'm not comfortable with people sending me writing shipping me with atsumu can we please do something about it" and the girl replied, "what do you want me to do?? report them?? write you a message that you can tweet about your boundaries?? (yes) if that's what they want to write deal with it at least they like u"

and they wonder why she just posts whatever she's feeling on her main unless iwa tells her otherwise

noya has gotten distracted from the main topic of a chat to reply with a <3 to something nice y/n says multiple times

they're fr just best buds holding hand in the middle of a warzone where iwaizumi reigns over all

(the only two soldiers are suna and tsukishima)

suna's a lot softer without tsukishima around

he just feels like he needs his guard up around such a salty person

do not ask me why i made rofltropper an antagonist for no reason

kageyama was really just trying to finally do his english homework while waiting for hinata to come home and then he heard kuroo and oikawa start to yell

he was a little scared but then was like "if they can't reach me i'm safe" and they they slammed the door shut and his room shook a little

someone on the floor probably wrote up a complaint about them

taglist: @rinheartshyunlix @kettlepop @eggyrocks @cr4yolaas @httpakkeiji @keioover @does-directions @calx-bdo @staygoldsquatchling02 @cherrypieyourface @iluv-ace @kitty-m30w @h3xi2g0n3 @mylahrins @thechaosoflonging @momoriii-i @localgaytrainwreck @a-pastel-edgelord @bugglesboop @polish-cereal @osakis-gf @whykirbo @phoenix-eclipses @faesix @ryeyeyer @starxq.zip @skylarkalchemist @kunimix @sereniteav @kodzubaby (form to be added to taglist! <3)

[merakiui]

We've talked about Prisoner Floyd, but now that Promising Young Man Riddle is behind bars, let's hear about Prisoner Riddle. Just when he thinks he can never find someone to replace his former teacher, here is...

Jailor Darling who is the highlight of Riddle's day. The few minutes you stop to chat with him behind his cell bars while you do your rounds stay in his mind long after you go.

Janitor Darling who secretly chats with the charming prisoner Riddle. Maybe she even indulges him in impossible daydreams like "someday when your out of here we'll start a new life." If Riddle is lucky, she'll sneak a strawberry tart in among her cleaning supplies.

Councilor Darling who is in charge of Prisoner Riddle's psych evaluation. Riddle always has had mommy issues, so women in positions of authority just make him want to submit.

AAAA YES YES!!!! All of these are so good,,, I think Riddle would fall for you if you're someone he can have an intellectual dialogue with! It was one of his favorite things to do with his professor. He just loves chatting about academic subjects with someone who will understand, and you're just that kind of person. Not only are you sweet and treat him like another human (and not as the man who killed his classmate in a fit of rage), you also take time to genuinely have a conversation with him. Riddle adores it! He falls head-first into another obsession, and you quickly become the highlight of his days.

In Riddle's mind, the prideful part of him is fully convinced he's different than the rest of the people in here. Sure, he's wearing a jumpsuit just like everyone else and he's serving his sentence dutifully, but he's different. He's delusional, and whenever you talk to him it feeds into the narrative he's crafted that he truly is better than the other prisoners. To Riddle, a murder of one is much better than the other heinous crimes and kill counts other prisoners have committed.

When you stop by to conduct his evaluation and have a chat, Riddle desperately wants to exchange thoughts on various subjects that interest him (psychology, criminal law, your favorite sweets, etc). You try to keep him on track because you have a job to do and you can't indulge him all the time. You need Riddle to talk about what happened; he needs to answer the questions you're asking. Riddle does that; he's obedient most of the time. It's in his blood to be a good student, after all. But sometimes he just can't help it. He wants to pick your brain in the same way you pick his, asking you what you think of his crime. Not from a psychological or professional viewpoint, but from your own personal perspective. He's genuinely curious.

I feel like Riddle's case would have a cult following almost...... he was so composed and articulate during his trial, looking just like a pristine businessman in his pressed suit and leather Oxfords. :) so put-together and respectful,, it does hurt when his mother refuses to look him in the eyes when she sits there in the audience. It does hurt when she refuses to visit or even write to him. It does hurt, but it feels better when he's sat in front of you and you're telling him he can be honest about everything.

And this time he doesn't have to worry about someone else trying to win your heart. This time, it's just you and Riddle. You may have other patients you see, but Riddle knows none are more fascinating or intelligent than him.

[sparklesandpudding]

Hey how are you? I was wondering if you could have some headcanons for Hermes, Poseidon, Apollo and Loki with a goddess of sadness. She is the tallest of all the goddesses there, measuring almost three meters, she always has a melancholic aura and a quite sensitive, solitary and serious personality but she is kind to the most intimate people in her circle. She adores humanity and used to have a human husband before he tragically died. She is one of the strongest goddesses, when she cries she makes her sadness infect others, making them cry too and feel her pain (it is based on blue diamond from Steven Universe but I don't know if you know her. You don't need to add any more her if she is not to your taste). I'm sorry if it was a bit long, in advance please and thank you!

Oooh the pretty lady?? Im a bit familiar with her. I did my research on Google, I hope I didn't get anything wrong 😭 I'm also not sure if this is an "× reader" or not, so I'm very sorry. You may chat me again if it isn't what you asked for♥

°•Apollo+Hermes+Loki+Poseidon W a goddess of sadness!reader•°

Loki

- Loki and you are literally polar opposites. You both are so different, yet you both ended up being close to each other.

- he's very curious as to why you're so gloomy and emotional. But you are the goddess of sadness, you live up to your title. Literally.

- whenever he pulls pranks or Snickers at jokes, he's always looking towards you and pointing a finger at whoever was unlucky enough to be his target— thinking you'd instantly feel better.

- no, you actually got gloomier.

- but I think he'd take a liking to you. Opposites attract pretty well if I do say so myself. Atleast he has someone (not really) willing to listen to him.

- and about your height, I bet he'd use his floating ability to float towards your face, so he could talk to you more , and os that you don't have to bend down a little to hear him. And yes, he will ignore the fact that you are uncomfortable or not.

- he just yaps and talks about anything basically. Even if you are very quiet. you talk sometimes, only when you really feel like it.

- seeing how you can make people cry just because YOU are crying... its probably super amusing to him. Even if he's also there shedding tears.

-i bet he'd try to make you cry near the unbreakable ones like Thor, Poseidon, Odin, and so on. Just for the fun of it. A little experiment to make sure you're really that strong.

Apollo

- this guy is the perfect ladies man. He knows how to entertain you, he knows how to stop your thoughts from going elsewhere (or maybe stopping you from thinking about something sad. Or else everyone will get affected with your sadness plague.)

- even with your tall height, he still knows how to take care of you. He will find ways. Like when you visit his place, he will make sure you have enough room in the pool of water. He'd also dismiss the nymphs who are staring at your tall figure.

- if y'all are in a relationship, then he's willing to make you atleast a little bit happy. Seeing you cry for the first time was so heartbreaking to see, until it started happening more often.

- well, he learned to embrace it. And now, whenever you cry, he'll just come up to you with his arms open. (Like the "where my hug at?" Typa pose.) and he'll approach you slowly like--

"darling, darling, no need to cry. Let's look to the bright side!"

-- before he makes a tiny lil ball of light in his hands w his photokinesis. If not, he himself would probably blind someone with his light, just to make his statement clear to you. Lmao 😭

- he actually really likes it when you have to bend down a little so you can hear him better. Gives him a better look at your neck, or your chest. And maybe cus he likes the position you're in. (Perv ass)

Hermes

- he's already used to this. But I'm sure he'd find joy in watching your power do its thing to those around you. watching people—especially the most cold blooded gods—cry because of you, is incredible.

- he'd give you praises on your power, and how delightful it was to have such a goddess existing in the realm of divine beings. He'd serve you food and tea, ones that are extra big because of your size and height. Like I can imagine this man carrying a huge ass cup just for you to sip some tea or smth.

- I know you both gossip. He'd be whispering all the stuff he has to know on that day's tea, and you just quietly listen and softly giving your feedback. Y'all would do it in front of the other gods too lmao 😭😭

- your aura combined with his, it's a peculiar combo. But its certainly calming, with his personality and yours, it leaves a weird feeling in the room whenever you two are close.

- you both are pretty chill together tho.

- if you guys were in a relationship, he'd be so understanding and supportive of you. When you enter a battle, he'd probably be behind holding light sticks or something with that small smile he always has.

Poseidon

- now him. He likes your presence. Cus it reminds him a bit of hades. Not the crying part, but more of the calm demeanor you have. You are very soft spoken and it doesn't annoy him.

- you and hades are his only exceptions. Your aura is comforting in a way that soothes his nerves. He's also seen and even felt the sadness you've carried on your shoulders all those years after you beloved died, as well as the burden of other things.

- so he can quite understand you. It must really be difficult dealing with such feelings he learned that after he felt the pain you buried deep into your body when you cried.

- you both are also a peculiar duo combo. I just know most of the gods there ship you both. Loki was the one making the scenerios and fanfics (he's such an ass)

- Poseidon acts like he doesn't care, or is irritated. But in all reality, he doesn't seem to mind. He likes you a lot.

- he's pretty quick to slice someone who makes you cry. He just uses the excuse that he doesn't want to shed tears and all because showing weakness is weak af. But in reality he actually just doesn't want anyone fuckin w you.

- like imagine him saying that showing such weak emotions as a god is pathetic, before seeing you and quickly saying "unless it's completely necessary".

[funnier-as-a-system]

we just found out we're plural a few months ago. do you have resources on how to try to talk to my headmates? sorry if this isn't the right blog to mention.

Hm... As far as resources go, I'd recommend using a tool like Pluralkit or SimplyPlural and then chatting/leaving messages for each other under your own names (SimplyPlural has a chat function for this, and for Pluralkit, you can create your own private server). You don't have to create super detailed profiles – you can even just put placeholder names, or very non-descriptive names, and nothing else – but having something that shows who said what can help ground you and make it feel less like you're shouting into the void. The point is essentially to create a log where you all can identify yourselves while leaving messages for each other, even if it's something as simple as "hi, I exist". This is a method we've been using for a long time, and we've found it can really help to get your conversations (literally) out of your head and into text. If you would prefer a physical log over a digital one, keeping a physical journal (with a list of headmates somewhere inside) can also help.

For talking to your headmates inside your head (internal communication), though, I'd recommend somewhat of the opposite, to a degree – don't stress too much about figuring out who said what every time that you hear something from another headmate. It can scare off shy headmates who just want to poke their heads in with a quick "hello", and you don't need to be stressing over not being able to immediately identify exactly which of your headmates had that random, passing thought. Asking them for identification can help sometimes, especially if you're looking to practice putting names to voices, but you don't need to perfect your own detective skills to figure out Who Said That every time someone says something. Just relax and let things happen as they happen.

On that note, listening "too hard" for internal communication can cause you to accidentally block out the voices of your headmates. Remember, these sorts of things tend to take a lot of practice to become easily accessed skills, so don't worry if it takes you a while to start regularly hearing your headmates! Throw your thoughts into the void and welcome thoughts that don't sound like they came from you. Allow your communication to get better over time as you practice; don't expect perfection right away. And even if you never get very good at internal communication, that's okay, because there's plenty of different methods for external communication, from recording videos to leaving post-it notes on your door. Don't be afraid to experiment to find what works best for you!

I can't think of any resources outside those tools I suggested, but I'm sure they're out there. I'll leave this post open for anyone to add on their own suggestions and recommendations. Good luck talking to your headmates!

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

Mean Eddie series. Part one part two

Minors shoo. More angst I'm afraid, jealous Eddie but our boy won't admit it.

💌🫣

How you've managed to avoid Eddie for a full week is anyone's guess but between cheer practice, sleepovers with Chrissy and hanging out with Steve and Robin, it's like a soothing balm for your heartache.

Except at the dead of night when the ache from missing Eddie threatens to overwhelm you. The thing is you're stubborn and you highly doubt Eddie is missing you. Why would he?

Billy Hargrove has also been trying to catch your attention, he's been flirting for the entire week and he's not shy about doing it in front of others either.

It's not like Billy isn't handsome, he is. However you've heard far too many things about him dating multiple girls, being a player. You weren't interested in being another notch on his bedpost.

As your at your locker and attempting not to look Eddie's way, his locker is right across from yours and he's busy chatting to Gareth, discussing the new Hellfire campaign he's planning.

You'd been with Eddie once while he was knee deep in campaign planning, watched as his tongue poked out while he was writing and weaving a new story for the next Hellfire night. He looked so cute and it made you giggle, Eddie smirks amused at your giggles.

"Princess, I said no interruptions if you stayed, I may need to punish you for that" he kissed you then proceeded to tickle you until you were breathless and laughing, Eddie watching you with a soft smile on his face.

It was one of the moments with him where you thought the two of you could be more. Obviously you were wrong.

Billy brings you out of your reverie and you realise he's been standing talking to you for a full minute. Shit. What did he say?

"We could go to the party then somewhere more private babe?" He winks at you and you jump as you hear a locker slam. Eddie's.

Gareth is watching him confused as he gathers up his notes. "Dude, what's up with you?" you tear your eyes away from Eddie and back to an expectancy Billy.

"Sorry, I have other plans with Chrissy" Billy frowns but spots Eddie before he can say anything else.

"Hey man, you got any weed for me? Need some tonight" Eddie's gaze briefly drifts over to you and your heart skips a beat, then he looks away and disappointment curdles in your stomach.

"No, I don't have any for you and your girlfriend" he spits out the word and you freeze. What was up with him? Evidently Billy must be thinking the same thing.

"What's crawled up your ass Munson?" Billy snaps and Eddie's brown eyes meet his, they flash dangerously. He's never been intimidated by Billy and he isn't going to start now.

"Next time you two want to flirt can you do it out of the way of us peasants. You're bringing my lunch up dude" you freeze at Eddie's tone. Seriously what the fuck was up with him?

Before Billy can reply you do. "You're insufferable Eddie. Billy's not my boyfriend. Not that is any of your business" you can feel the anger clawing inside of you and just dare Eddie to say something stupid.

He shrugs and avoids your gaze. "Your love life isn't my concern" he murmurs and you swear you're this close to losing it. You take a deep breath and shake your head.

"Whatever Munson" you're tired of crying about someone who just doesn't care. You walk away but Eddie calls out to you.

"Wait" you wait with baited breath for him to say something, anything. Come on Eddie. But he doesn't, he just stays quiet and you feel another crack in your heart.

"Never mind" whatever he was about to say it's gone now and you curse yourself for daring to hope.

Fuck you Eddie.

...

Stop, you're losin' me

I can't find a pulse

Stop, you're losin' me

Stop, you're losin' me

My heart won't start anymore

For you

'Cause you're losin' me

Taylor swift- You're losing me.

...

I don't want you to lose me, you think through your anger but nothing will ever change so what was the point of hoping.

💌❤️

[valorantmenheadcanons]

Innocent and shy masc reader has an incredibly dirty search history and an even worse taste in porn, has a large collection of order receipts from bad dragon. Cypher goes snooping and finds this all out? They have a little "chat" about network security -🐩

this is like my biggest fear except with my parents accidentally opening one of my packages. its either shampoo or a toy gnmsfgns

cw: suggestive, mentions of Corn, technically kind of cyberstalking? it's cypher what do u expect

wc: 718

It's late when you hear a soft knock at your door. You put your phone down on the bed, wondering who's on the other side of the door, especially at this hour. You hope it isn't a call for a last minute mission- the last thing you want right now is to be in a plane in a matter of minutes, geared up to fight.

When you open the door, you're greeted to the sight of a familiar beige figure, standing just a little too close. Cypher never seemed to mind getting in other people's space as long as he was the one doing it; invade his and he'd scamper off in seconds. His blue mechanical eyes scan over you quickly, though in a way that reminds you of someone checking for weapons rather than looking appreciatively.

"I need to talk to you about something," the man chirps, inviting himself inside your room before you can say anything. He slides by you with a careful hand on your shoulder, the leathery material of his gloves cool against your skin. You flush a little at the contact, fleeting but strangely electrifying. You shut your door behind him, folding your arms over your chest as you turn around to face him. You assume he's going to ask for a favour of some kind, or he wants to steal a piece of machinery from you, again, but you're really not in the mood to humour his requests, tired, and a little cranky because of it. Cypher pauses for a moment, hand half-raised in the air like he's trying to figure out exactly what he wants to say. "You know that I am very technology proficient, yes?"

You nod, frowning at the opening. He's usually pretty straightforward when he's asking for something.

"Come on, everyone knows to delete it afterwards. Are you trying to tease me?" Cypher's voice is smooth, peppy and cheerful but calculated, any hint of hesitancy gone. He's talking to you the same way he chides his opponents in a fight he's already won. The realisation sends a shiver up your spine- he knows something that either you don't know or don't want him to know. But you have an inkling, a gut feeling, that it's something you didn't want him to know. Not yet, anyways.

"What are you talking about?" You try, a little too quick to appear genuinely confused. Cypher's head only tilts minutely.

"You're too smart to be playing dumb. I mean, really?" Cypher scoffs, taking a few steps forwards, forcing you to take one back to maintain a semblance of distance between you two. "Looking up Moroccan models?" Another step forward, and your back brushes against the wall next to the door. "Picturing me as any one of them, hm?" Another step, and there's barely any space between you, and you want to die.

You hadn't intended for him to see any of that- although that meant he was snooping around your private search history, a whole other issue to tackle- but you also hadn't not intended for him to see any of that. It was a blurred line, your attraction to Cypher.

"'dirty talk in arabic'?" He has the decency to stifle a laugh, which only makes your face flush deeper, embarrassment, shame, and something else washing over you. "Mm, not to mention your purchasing history. Dirty, dirty, dirty boy," he clicks his tongue. "I thought you were all sweet, not so perverted."

You finally find your voice, the tips of your ears burning at this point. "I'm not the one snooping around in other people's stuff!" You tout back, a weak deflection.

"I'm not the one imagining their coworker is fucking them."

"Shut up!" You groan, really wishing with all your heart that you could be anywhere but here.

Cypher's beady blue eyes lift with a mirth you can sense through his mask. "Ohhh... but you like it. You're so red," and this time he does chuckle, mean and condescending, and damn if it doesn't send a little jolt of warmth through you, the idea that that little laugh is just for you to hear. "How about this: You show me which videos you like, and I'll give you a... personal lesson in how to delete your search history. How does that sound?"

[ramen8008]

I LOVE aged up Ladynoir dynamic because they are more mature and understand each other to a level that just AHHH!

One of my oldest and most loved Ladynoir head-canons basically goes like this:

Where as they grow older, they grow closer but especially during the time where the og friend group kinda separates because of college and Marinette being Marinette is like "you know what? not having close friends with me helps me focus on college AND ladybug" but she still NEEDS SOMEONE (whether she knows it at the moment or not) .

It gets tougher, the akumas evolve into causing more mental and emotional damage than physical, hawkmoth grows to understand that with their age and jobs it's easier to target their mind. During this time they've grown more independent than they should have. So one night they talk, they explain their situation, they vent to each other and decide that the comfort they feel with one another can't be compared to anything else. That maybe the other is more than just a work friend that they joke with, more than just someone they only see during the most stressful times of the day, maybe it's easier to find a best friend in someone who you've known for most your life, who you've been through thick and thin with, who understands you in ways most might never. So Chat Noir and Ladybug grow closer and closer.

They rant about college and work (Adrien works in his father's company now and did a business course so he doesn't have to model and Marinette has an Etsy shop on the side). They get close and have random night talks where they talk about things no one but them and the night sky will ever hear. Everything they go through as heroes, the ups and downs, and they also talk about fun stuff, learn more about each other, finding out that chat is a part of multiple fandoms, that Ladybug has a horrible bed head and hates that chat doesn't, that they more are more of a romantic at heart than they want to admit. But they also talk about just the struggles and anxiety that comes with their jobs, just how messed up what they went through as kids is now that they see it from an adults point of view, but they also just laugh it off, joke about the trauma some fights inflicted. Nightmares that keep them up, hopes they are too scared to say out loud, sometimes even the fear of losing purpose if hawkmoth is defeated.

There's so much more too. They have the kind of friendship where they make jokes and promises into the night about how if they are always going to be single because of their jobs they'll just get married in their superhero costumes. How ladybug is going to love making chat's kids little clothes and how chat is going to make sure that ladybug gets time with her future partner whenever there's an akuma by handling it for her. All the while not knowing that their feelings for each other keep on growing and growing. It's so huge that it feels like their hearts will combust but it's also constant to the point that they get used to it.

It hits them like a truck yet it's so slow, maybe just talking one night and it hits them that they can't imagine life without the other, that they want the other in a way that's more than what they ever thought, no they've thought of it before, they've jokes about it but never acknowledged the truth this jokes had in them, never acknowledged that over time they became to lean on each other more than just in battles, they became each others partners in more than just fights against akumas, more than in a platonic way. They've always loved each other but their love had grown into something much stronger

P.s. thx @rosekasa for reigniting my Ladynoir head canons and now I'm on a journey to go through all my head canons 🤍

[themasterofo]

To My Readers

Please bear with me while I take a somewhat more serious tone today. I've been wanting to write something like this for a while now, and finally got to putting my thoughts down.

I have always kept an eye on you readers who like and reblog my stories, and it has not gone unnoticed that, in addition to girls who more-or-less match the submissive female character I write, many of my readers are lesbian, or trans, or even sub men. Some of you I've chatted with in the past, even to the point of giving permission to rewrite my stories, altering some preferred biology and/or gender details.

I dislike virtue signaling for its own sake. I find a lot of it distasteful and self-serving, but I also know that statements of support can mean a lot to people who may not be sure that they are welcome. So it's in that spirit that I did decide to write this.

Assuming you are an adult, and that you are not a predator, you are welcome here.

Whether Dom(me) or sub, whether male, female, or anything else, and whatever genitals or body you were born with or have managed to make for yourself, you are welcome here.

I write about denial from my particular perspective, which includes my own sexuality, orientation, and gender. In my mind, the man in my stories is me, and the girl is an afab girl. Because of this, you'll hear talk about his cock, her cunt, and things like this. But, if that doesn't match you, and you still want to read, and if you identify with any part of my writing, you have my absolute blessing to take whatever liberties you wish in your own mind. Not that you needed my permission, but maybe for some it might help.

To be clear, for my own part, I'm not really interested in interacting sexually with sub men, or with girls who don't match the physical type of person that I'm attracted to (girls with a cunt). I don't mean any offense here and I hope that none is taken. For me, life is too short to do anything other than follow what makes you feel authentically happy, and that's part of what does. But it costs me nothing to accept the gender or sexuality that someone identifies with themselves, and I consider it a matter of kindness and decency to do so.

But I am also happy to chat with anyone in about denial and so forth, as long as there is respect and if I have the time (the latter being a larger issue these days!)

So in summary, welcome. If you're a sub, I hope you find inspiration here, and I hope you can learn to edge more and cum less, if you agree with me that this is what's probably best for you. If you're a Dom(me), I hope you enjoy the stories and maybe get some inspiration and ideas to take responsibly to the sub(s) in your life. I tell sub girls they don't have my permission to cum when reading my blog, but if that doesn't resonate with you - you do you. And if you want to imagine that my Dom character is a woman, or that the sub character has a cock, or whatever else will make bring you some happiness, just do it.

[darksigns-exe]

Hiii, I'm totally a Folio girl, but that Darius pic got me thinking about you being Darius's ex but still close to him, his band and the guys because you were friends before. Folio starts liking you and he gets a huge crush on you but is terrified of Darius because he is Darius Tehrani. He is super insecure but you are super sweet and secretly into him too and the guys (Noah or something) have to reassure him that Darius is not going to destroy him or something

now thats a good thought

warnings: alcohol consumption, boys being a little dumb

Nick knows that you know that he’s watching you. 

He usually is. 

It’s hard to look away. 

He’s never acted upon that little crush he’s been harbouring on you, but he also can’t force it to go away. 

The issue is your ex. 

It’s not that the guy is stopping you from seeing other people or anything, he’s just – a little intimidating. He’s only really seen him on stage and a few times in passing, and what he’s seen has been enough to make him keep his distance. 

He looks away just as you look towards him. 

Nick really doesn’t mind that you’re still friends with your ex. It just makes making a move a little more difficult. 

He’d hoped that he could use the occasion to move things into a different direction. Nick hadn’t anticipated that Noah would invite Darius – or that he’d show up with his whole band. 

You’re squished in between Darius and his brother, happily chatting with them. Nick’s been waiting for his chance all evening, but it just doesn’t want to come.

He retreats into the kitchen, trying to get away from the scene. 

You enter the kitchen just as he plucks a beer from the fridge. 

“Can you get me one too?” 

He jumps a little, obviously spooked by your sudden appearance. 

You hop up on the counter, watching as he pulls a second bottle from the fridge. 

“How was your tour? Did things go alright?” you ask, taking a sip from your beer. 

Nick gives a quick nod, “No hiccups. Crowds were fun too.”  

He remains at a safe distance, leaning against the counter opposite you. 

“That’s good. I’m glad you had a good time. Are you doing anything fun while you’re on break?” 

You’ve been trying your hardest to get him to crack. You know that he has at least some interest in you, but you can’t for the life of you understand why he’s not doing anything about it. As far as you’re concerned, you’ve made it clear that you’re also interested in him. You’re not sure how much more of your complaining about this your friends can take. 

Nick gives a vague response about his not really fixed plans. 

“So if I need help setting up that bookshelf I ordered, I could call you?” You ask, hoping that he’ll bite this time. 

“I — sure, yes.” He stammers. 

It’s good enough for you. 

You’re not sure if it’ll actually happen, but you’re willing to be hopeful. 

You hear Alex call your name from the living room, prompting you to hop off the counter again. 

“I’m counting on your help now!” You say as you head back to the rest of your group. 

Nick is still bracing himself on the counter when Noah finds him. 

“Did you finally tell her?” He asks, coming to stand next to him. 

When Nick doesn’t answer he lets out a heavy sigh, “You know that she’ll eventually get someone else right?” 

“I know.”

“So what’s stopping you? You like her. She obviously likes you. Where’s the hurdle?”

“That ex of hers.”

Noah blinks at him for a moment, “Darius? What about him? He didn’t say anything, did he?”

Nick shakes his head, “I’m not about to step onto that guy's territory.”

“Territory? They’re friends Nick. Darius is a great guy.” He says with a laugh, “Have you ever even talked to him? I don’t think that he’s going to stand in the way of his friend's happiness. Even if they used to date at some point. Make your move.”

The party is slowly simmering down, and you decide to step outside for a little breather. 

You’re alone for maybe five minutes before the sliding door opens again. You don’t have to check to know who is joining you. 

“So when’s that bookshelf coming?” Nick asks, and you feel a little bit of warmth blooming in your chest.

[glitterguts13]

Can I please request birth headcanons for the male Fatui Harbingers (location, reactions to pain, who’s present, aftermath, etc?)

Wanderer Gives birth held up in a small inn. Because his body doesn't work like a normal human body would, he wasn't aware he could carry a child until it was much too late. There is a deep sense of panic, he can *not* let Dottore find out about this. It would not only derail all their hard work, but heaven only knows what he'd try and do. So Wanderer vanishes for a few weeks, somewhere quiet off the Liyue coast. Rents a clean but run-down room at a nearly empty inn. Pays a good amount to be left alone, no matter what the owner might see or hear. Labor starts slow, nagging cramps. It's a good two days before he's finally laid up in bed, biting down on a rag to keep from screaming. Wanderer had never thought himself one for a low tolerance for pain, but this was otherworldly. It felt as if he was being broken apart from the inside out, and he truly thought he might be dying. By the third day, he finally pushes a wailing little boy into the world. He's exhausted, feeling numb and broken. There isn't any other thought in his head but "Get away, get away, get away-" so that's what he does. Bleeding and still waiting to pass the afterbirth, he gathers his things and leaves the infant wrapped in a blanket on the front steps of the Inn. A week later, he returns to his work with Dottore, closed off and refusing to be touched. Childe One of the few who is actually happy about the pregnancy. Sure, it's not the best time, but the Tsaritsa waves him off, telling him to return once he's given birth and to ask if there is anything he needs. Losing him for a few months was better than having him vanish for good after all. Returns to his family, seeking advise from his mother. She's thrilled to have her eldest boy home, and to be welcoming a grandchild no less. Settles right into life there, spending his days helping around the house and playing with his siblings.

His mother and a local midwife are the ones to stay with him during labor. He handles it well, chatting and breathing his way through the first half, and only starts to get vocal near the end. There are a few screams as he pushes, but compared to what he endured in the Abyss, it was short-lived and manageable.

Delighted when he gets to hold his little girl. Fawning over her the second she's laid into his arms. His mother is in tears, and the midwife is pleased with how smooth the whole thing went.

After he's taken a few weeks to recover and bond with his baby girl, he leaves her in the care of his mother while he returns to work with the Fatui. Though, deep down, he doesn't want to leave her, he also knows he could never be satisfied with such a quiet, domestic life.

Pantalone Shockingly got pregnant on purpose. While he doesn't want children, he needs an heir to manage his fortune. Pregnancy isn't kind to him, and he hates every second of it. Barely leaves his mansion, only dragging himself out when there's an important meeting he just can't afford to delegate to someone else.

Hires a whole team of medics to tend to his labor and birth. Honestly, there's a good chance he just *buys* the hospital he plans on delivering at. Makes sure he has a whole floor to himself, it's entirely over the top but money talks, and those nurses are jumping at his every demand as he flashes wads of mora in their faces.

Insufferable.

The money doesn't even seem worth it by the end because he is bitching and moaning about everything. Nothing is right. The hospital smells weird, the lights are too bright, the nurses are too loud, the bed is too hard, the medicine isn't strong enough, why aren't they doing more to help him-

Finally, someone slips a mild sedative into his IV and he shuts up long enough for them to actually prep him for delivery, and with the way he screams, having the floor empty of other patients might have been a good idea.

Doesn't have much interest in his daughter. He holds her, finds her satisfactory for the duty she'll need to fulfill when she's older. Once he's recovered enough to return home (much to the relief of all the staff) he hands her off to nanny he hired before returning right to work.

Dottore Science experiment gone wrong or a wild night of passion with some unlucky soul? No one knows, and no one will know. Treats his pregnancy like an illness, annoyed with it and only going through with it because he's curious to see how similar to his clones a child of his own creation would be.

Doesn't stop doing a single dangerous thing during his pregnancy, and gives birth in his lab with the help of some of the older, more experienced segments.

Grunts and groans throughout labor, and is dead silent while pushing. It's very worrying, a few times the clones are questioning if he's even breathing. Pushes a blue-haired little boy into the world after a grueling 16 hours of labor before reaching up inside of himself and pulling the afterbirth out.

Even his clones are a little bothered by that one.

Capitano Spends his pregnancy worried. No one knows, he keeps to himself, wondering if he's cursed this poor child to a life of rotting immortality. Thinks about getting rid of it but...a deeply selfish part of him wants a child. He has nothing left of his home, his family, the life he so dearly loved but a child...the thought of holding them in his arms, being able to protect them from the world and maybe give his lineage a chance to survive..he can't bring himself to pass it up.

Does seek the help of anyone, after all, who would even be able to assist? No medic or midwife would touch his rotting corpse, and he didn't want to force anyone into that position either.

Pain is an old friend, and he handles labor well. Keeping his thoughts on the future, what he would need to do, and how he'd explain the sudden appearance of a child to the others.

Finally starts to grunt while pushing, panting heavily as he forces his body to expel the child he so painfully wanted to see alive, healthy, and normal.

And for once, the gods are kind, and a little girl with bright blue eyes is nestled against his chest, perfectly human in every day. There's a tiny blue scar on the back of her hand, but it doesn't seem concerning, and there's no sign of pain or discomfort, so Capitano doesn't allow himself to worry.

Recovers quickly, and lies to the other that he found an orphaned child while in the field, and when he announces his intention of raising her, no one dares protest.

Pierro It wasn't planned, but not really unwanted. Like Capitano, Pierro isn't sure what a child of his would be like, but he's willing to take the risk. Informs the Tsaritsa and takes a leave of absence the last month of his pregnancy.

Hires a doctor and a midwife to tend to the birth, which he has in the comfort of his home. Much like Capitano, he handles the pain well, pacing around till he's finally unable to stand, and pushes a daughter into the waiting hands of the midwife only a few hours after labor begins.

He bleeds heavily, concerning the doctor and midwife, but he's too focused on his little girl to notice them frantically trying to stop the bleeding. Thankfully, once the afterbirth is passed, the blood starts to clot and he's able to rest.

Splits his time between raising his daughter himself and leaving her in the care of a nanny. He tries to be there as much as he can, but as the leader of the Fatui, he knows his place and can't let anything blind him to that.

[starwarsmum]

For @tree-reads, based on a prompt @boldlyanxious found on here 🙃

“Aaahh!” 

The shriek resounded through the halls of Wayne Manor and everyone in the kitchen winced. There weren't many of them - Tim and Duke were chatting over coffee, and Damian was reading an article - but they had been growing accustomed to their new housemate.

Marinette flew into the kitchen and grabbed a cup to fill with coffee. She was half dressed, smart trousers on the lower half and a lounge hoodie over the top. As soon as the mug was full she flew back out and they could hear her leaping the stairs.

“She needs to arrange her sleep schedule better,” Damian remarked after the noise had faded. Duke nodded in agreement but Tim frowned at them both.

“Listen, she's a creative genius,” he said defensively. Since Marinette had moved into the manor - Bruce had seen the black hair and blue eyes, heard that she had no family (in the US), and had done everything short of adopting her - they had gotten used to chaotic mornings. Tim and Jason had been staunch defenders of her habits but nearly everyone else thought she needed to find some chill.

“Yeah, but she also stayed up for sixty eight hours straight last week,” Duke said. Their conversation was interrupted when Marinette stormed back in. 

“Oh god, I can't find everything I need for this meeting,” she moaned, upending her handbag and sending her belongings skittering across it. “Right…there's my wallet…my keys are- the games room!”

It took well over ten minutes and innumerable exits and entrances before she threw everything into her bag. She was patting down her pockets and mumbling to herself frantically. She had mentioned the day before that Jagged had requested another meeting for a new commission and clearly she had woken late.

“What am I forgetting?” She asked fretfully as she stood just past Damian's chair.

“You've got your keys? Wallet? Phone?” Tim asked, giving her time to confirm each one. 

“Kiss?” Duke said cheekily, obviously hoping to lighten the mood.

“Oh, right, of course,” she said distractedly, before swooping down and pressing her lips to Damian's. The three bat boys froze but she didn't seem to notice. “Okay, that has to be everyth- my sketchbook!”

She didn't pause as she blew out of the room again, leaving all three of them completely speechless. Duke's mouth was hanging open, Tim was jabbing a thumb into a bruise, and Damian's cheeks were blazing red.

_ _ _

Marinette was exhausted as she stepped through the manor front door. Alfred offered to take her coat and she gratefully accepted. He said something about dinner and she nodded, steering herself in the direction of the dining room.

She didn't notice that the conversation stopped as she entered, nor that whispers started when she sat down. She only really became aware of anything when she knocked over her glass.

“Oh my god, I'm so sorry,” she exclaimed, leaping up and running to fetch a towel. It certainly gave her a jolt of adrenaline and when she returned she finally took note of who she had spilled her drink all over - and promptly died of mortification.

Damian was sitting ramrod straight in his seat, scowl on his face and anger colouring his cheeks. He had been courteous to her since she had arrived and, the more she learned about him, she found her mind wandering to him frequently. 

She started trying to help him towel off but he snapped out that he was ‘perfectly capable’ and she relinquished the towel. Someone started giggling from across the table and her eyes snapped up to meet Duke's. She gave him a frown but it only seemed to make him giggle harder.

“I'm really sorry, Damian,” she said, wincing when he stood abruptly.

“I am going to change,” he said, face still a dangerously dark colour. She managed to wait until he was out of the room before moaning and burying her face in her hands. 

“God, he hates me,” she whined, too tired to feel overly embarrassed by her words. Her eyes snapped up when Tim made a strange noise. “What?”

“He doesn't hate you for spilling water on him, Pixie,” Jason said from across the table. He sounded amused and she pouted at him, which only made him chuckle. “Do you remember anything from this morning? Or were you as sleep deprived as you normally are?”

“What does this morning have to do with anything?” She asked, baffled, as she tried to relive the events mentally. “Were you even there?”

“No, but Duke and Tim have filled us all in,” he chortled, raising an eyebrow at the men in question. Tim grimaced and Duke gave another giggle.

“You were kind of in a rush this morning and Duke decided to tease you,” Tim said when it became clear that Duke wasn't going to. “But, uh, it didn't go the way he thought it would. Damian's probably mad because you kissed him this morning.”

Every thought in her head screeched to a halt and a high pitched whine started up in their place. It took several seconds to realise that the whine was actually coming out of her. But now that they'd reminded her, she did remember the exchange. It had been such a small thing, something she had thought about doing before, obviously. It was impossible to be in Damian's general vicinity and not want to kiss him, but she had been fairly confident that she could conceal that particular urge.

“I- you- what-” she spluttered, horror spreading through her. She leaped back to her feet and scrambled out of the same door as Damian while several people started laughing behind her.

She made it across the foyer and to the hallway at the top of the stairs before spotting him. She flushed again but made her way over to him, determined to apologise. He seemed to freeze when he saw her, his face colouring again, and she winced. He didn't often get annoyed with her but he was obviously very angry with her this time. Not that she blamed him.

“Damian, I'm so so so sorry for this morning,” she blurted as soon as she was within a reasonable distance of him. The colour in his cheeks deepened further and she felt panic grip her. “I swear, I didn't mean to- I was so tired this morning, and worried about being late, I didn't even realise that I'd- I'd k-ki-”

“Yes, well, there's nothing we can do to change past events,” he said in a strained voice. He wasn't looking at her and she felt her heart plummet into her stomach. They had been on friendly enough terms before this, she was crushed that this could have ruined that.

“That doesn't mean I shouldn't apologise to you,” she said softly, wringing her hands. “I don't want you to be angry with me, though you're entitled to it.”

“I'm not…angry,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. It was distractingly attractive and she almost missed what he said next. “I just don't understand why I was the one…”

“Oh, um, well,” she stammered, trying to think of something, anything, to say except the whole truth that wasn't an outright lie. “I-I guess that's because…you were…the person sitting closest to me?”

“Is that the only reason?” He asked in a low voice, stepping closer to her, brows furrowed. Her brain short circuited at their proximity and she shook her head without thinking. 

Damian almost couldn't breathe, so sudden was the change in the energy between them. It was now charged with possibilities and he hardly dared believe it. He had been intrigued by the woman from the moment she had arrived in Gotham and it had only grown since she had begun living in the manor with them.

“Okay, time to woman up,” she muttered, her eyes finally coming up to meet his own. As always, the blueness of them made his stomach tighten and he definitely held his breath when she bit her lip before continuing. “I guess I kissed you because it's something I've been thinking about for a while. So when I was distracted and panicking my brain went on autopilot. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable and I can be moved out in a week if you-”

He hadn't planned on kissing her. He'd been thinking about it all day, it was impossible not to, given what had happened that morning, but he didn't dare think it was actually a possibility. She'd shown him no particular preference over his siblings before now and he had resigned himself to never acting upon his impulses.

But hearing her say that she'd been thinking about it too? That this morning was a result of thinking about it so often that her automatic response when absent minded was that? It overrode any thought to the contrary and he had leaned down before he was conscious of any thought of it.

She made a soft noise of surprise but didn't pull away. In fact, her hands grabbed hold of his shirt with surprising strength and she pulled herself up to kiss him back with such vigour that they almost toppled. He pulled her closer, hands on her waist and let himself just enjoy the sensation of her lips on his own.

He wasn't sure how long they stood there before they broke apart but he was breathing hard when they did. He felt a surge of approval when he saw just how red her lips now were, a heady feeling that had his head tilting back towards her. She met him eagerly, hands moving up into his hair and tilting his head slightly further.

He traced her lip with his tongue, tentatively, and was rewarded when she opened to him. The kiss deepened and he focused wholly on exploring her. He hardly noticed when he gripped her hips and lifted her, a surprised but pleased sigh from her encouraging him.

When they finally broke apart again he was dizzy with desire and her legs were wrapped around his waist. A distant part of him noted that he wasn't really supporting her - she must have an incredible amount of strength to hold herself up like that - but most of his attention was on the way she rested her head against his own.

“If you'd told me this morning that this is how I would be spending my evening, I'd have assumed I was still sleeping,” she said breathlessly after several moments. He hummed in agreement before allowing her to slip back to her feet, but not releasing her entirely. 

“I'm not entirely convinced that I'm not,” he murmured, ridiculously pleased by the flush that spread across her face. “But just in case this is real, may I be presumptuous and ask you to join me tomorrow for dinner? Somewhere without my family?”

“I would love to,” she said back, a bright and besotted smile aimed up at him.

[impishjesters]

Mafia Boss Jax x Reader

warning(s): gun mentioned, stalking mentioned, domestic/soft Jax, marriage mentioned note(s): Honestly couldn't really see much worth tagging, it's all just stuff you'd expect to see mentioned in a mafia/gang headcanon... A/N: So I saw a fanart thingie (and I've had it on the brain anyway) and it made me thirsty for some mafia boss Jax and I just... I might have to write up a one-shot (or series) at some point but this was enough to quench my thirst...temporarily. I can definitely see myself building a universe around this idea though. I'm excited as you can tell because I just kept fuckin' going in writing this out... Also feast upon domestic Jax in the latter half, I got mushy...

Jax is a tricky boss, it’s hard to get a solid read on him, as an enemy or an ally. He’s almost always sporting a grin, making it difficult to gauge unless you can tell those smiles apart. If he’s frowning? Ha.

He’s that fine middle ground of laid-back yet strict. His word is law, get shit done and do it right and he doesn’t particularly care about the rest.

This person needs to be killed, but before that, they need to be tortured for information. How you torture or kill them doesn’t matter, you get that information or else.

Rabbits are his motif design, not originally by choice but it stuck. Purple rabbit head, his signature grin, it’s childish—which is why it’s perfect, only idiots see that childish design and think “Oh this will be easy” and then it’s fuckin not.

Working for him means nobody is an exception to his little pranks and fuckery. Nothin’ too bad—not intentionally anyways. Bunch of wackos with guns, who thought they’d get trigger-happy when startled?

If you work for him, chances are he finds you a fun target for his mischief.

He might seem buddy buddy with you, but remember he’s your boss. Chances are you are acquaintances at best, not friends. At least for now—who knows?

If you’re dating him, well howdy hey aren’t you a pretty little thing on his arm?

Just kidding, regardless of whether you work under him or not you are given standard gun training as protection for yourself and him, but mainly yourself.

He does like it when you are his date for any events, though he’ll never say it. Jax is the type to bring up an event and do the whole shtick of “guess I’ll need to find a date” sorta guy.

Back on the topic of dating him and gun training—on the off chance you are dating and don’t know about his little crew and lifestyle… What the fuck’s wrong with you? Are you that blind? His position isn’t some well-kept secret, well not to anyone who knows anything.

Jax is pretty straightforward about it, except with his track record of joking there’s like a 97% chance you thought he was kidding when he said he’s a mafia boss. Ha, surprise.

Now if the two of you are dating, and you aren’t part of his little world then he does do his best to keep you out of it. This means that there are periods when you won’t see him, whether it’s because he’s busy or for safety reasons.

You aren’t safe from spam texts, calls, and video chats though. Nah, that’s all fair game to him baby.

Oh, you got work in the morning? Tough, he’ll stay on the phone/video with you until you pass out—he might go a step further and stay on the call for hours even if you are unconscious.

He does it for one of three reasons…

One, it gives him fuel to use whatever shit you say or do in your sleep to tease you with later.

Two, your company, albeit silent and unaware that you’re keeping him company, makes him feel less alone. Moments like this are often when he’s not working and at home, alone. Hearing you breathe, babble, and shuffle around on speaker has him feeling less alone in that big home of his.

Three, it gives him some piece of mind that you are okay, he can see and hear you, and no guns or glass are breaking to be heard. You’re safe. Moments like this are usually after stressful events, whether it’s a job gone wrong, someone injured, etc.

Those calls usually last through the night into the morning and you wake up and see the call still on or see him on the screen. He’s never told you about why some calls continue into the morning, or rather why he’s still awake when he should’ve been sleeping. Though it doesn’t take a genius to figure out it’s not just him being a stalker, but something more serious—if the oddly sweet tone he uses when telling you good morning and asking how you slept is anything to go by.

That said, Jax is not a morning person—even to you. Though if he’s awake before you or has yet to sleep, he’s oddly tender and domestic when it’s just the two of you.

“How’d ya sleep, angel? Dream of me? Nah, don’t answer that, I know ya did.”

“Hey sleepyhead, got ya coffee and breakfast ready. No, I didn’t put anything suspicious in it. I’m wounded doll, ya think I’d put in all that effort to make you breakfast just to ruin it?”

Okay so he’s still a little shit, but he’s got an unspoken soft spot for you.

Speaking of soft spots, if he’s truly down bad for you then that means you are his weakness. He can’t have those—no he’s not gonna kill ya Christ calm down—that means you’re at risk of getting hurt if word gets out.

So if the two of you aren’t at that level yet and are still living apart, he tries hard to keep his distance to keep the attention off you.

But if you are living together? You’re still at risk but he’s got his security measures, and bodyguards galore—even if you don’t live together he always has someone watching you—sure it’s a little creepy but just don’t think about it alright?

I said don’t think about it.

Jax does yet doesn’t understand the line of stalking. To him he’s keeping you safe, to you it’s likely an invasion of your privacy—but if you are anything like me then as long as there’s no malicious intent he can do his own thing. I dunno bout you but I’d rather him have eyes on me than something bad happen to me.

While living together it doesn’t take a genius to tell you that Jax visibly relaxes in your presence, especially when he comes home and gets into bed with you. He’s such a domestic sucker deep down, but you don’t need words to see that.

Overall, I feel like Jax wouldn’t date you if he didn’t have serious feelings for you. His lifestyle isn’t for everyone and he doesn’t open up to just anyone, it could take years before he finally allows himself to even ask you out on a date before considering more. But once the two of you are together he sees the two of you in for the long run, he’ll probably be upfront about it and say if you aren’t in this for the long run and potential marriage then he can’t do it.

Your Jax’s ride or die, please allow him to be yours too.

[namiusedbubble]

When they have a crush on you

SEBASTIAN SALLOW:

☠️  Sebastian is not the type to hide his crush. Even before he figures it out, everyone around him will know because of how differently he’ll treat you compared to everyone else.

☠️  He’s charming and friendly towards you, which happens to be his biggest tell as he can be quite snappy and temperamental to anyone who interrupts him.

☠️  He tends to become hyper-focused on things, whether it be spending hours with his head buried in a book or diligently searching spider-infested catacombs for a dark relic, there is no stopping him until he gets what he wants. That naturally extends to wooing you.

☠️  Suddenly he’ll find any and all reasons to spend time with you. Oh, you’re good at Herbology? It just so happens that Sebastian is in desperate need of a tutor! Oh, you’re a good duelist? Please help me take down this goblin camp real quick before meeting my family Why don’t you join this exclusive little dueling club I’m in? 

☠️  Not only does he want to spend as much time with you as possible, he also wants to be as close as physically possible without crossing any of your boundaries. He’ll push you behind him when facing enemies, he’ll constantly lean against things with his arm next to your head, and he’ll offer his hand to help you up and down ledges or off your broom.  

☠️  He has a jealous streak, so if he sees you becoming particularly close with anyone he deems a potential romantic threat, he’ll insert himself into the situation and either make an excuse to pull you away or pout and glare until the other person becomes uncomfortable enough that they’ll excuse themselves just to get away from him.

☠️  In any case, I don’t imagine you’ll remain in the “crush zone” for very long. Sebastian can hardly go five minutes around you without saying too much or revealing his or someone else’s secrets, let alone try to keep his feelings hidden when they grow every day you spend with each other.

OMINS GAUNT:

🐍  Ominis is a bit more subtle in his affections than Sebastian. It will take him a while before he approaches you, just so he can be sure he actually wants to pursue you and it isn’t just a fleeting crush. 🐍  He’ll sit near you, but not next to you, in classes and at meal times. He likes hearing your voice as you chat to your friends or make snide remarks about the professors when you think nobody is listening. Sebastian will often catch him smiling at seemingly nothing whenever you’re around. 🐍  You’re both desperately trying to keep yourselves awake in History of Magic one day when Ominis makes a witty comment at the expense of Binns, and he’s floored when you laugh next to him, quietly leaning over to share your own comments about the professor’s riveting tale about another centuries old wizarding war. 🐍  From that day on, Ominis went out of his way to make you laugh. Whenever he’d find you in-between classes, he would sit next to you on the bench and make passing remarks about the other students. It seemed he knew everything about everyone and had something to say about all of it, and you found his little quips absolutely hilarious. You’d always thought Ominis Gaunt was a refined, quiet gentleman, yet here he was tearing into Leander Prewett with no remorse and telling first years that the giant squid liked to feast on children walking too close to the lake. 🐍  He would be so sweet to you, doting, even. If you’d had a particularly stressful week catching up on assignments or running errands for everyone and their dog, Ominis would offer to keep breakfast for you so you could sleep for just a few minutes longer. When he notices you rushing about the castle, he’d stop you to ask if you’d taken a break that day and if you’d like to accompany him to the library for a spot of light reading. On the various occasions you’d come back injured, he would offer you his arm as a way to keep you steady. Eventually, offering you his hand or arm becomes second nature and you’ll find yourselves walking like that even when there’s no need to support you physically. 🐍  I think it would take a long time before Ominis admits his feelings. He enjoys the safety of the courting stage because his family are less likely to involve themselves. He’s also afraid you’ll reject a serious relationship with him because of their reputation and behaviour. He might huff and puff about how it’s a gentleman’s responsibility, but he’d secretly appreciate if you were the one to make the next move.

GARRETH WEASLEY:

🧪  I imagine Garreth would have to be friends with someone before he develops a crush on them. 🧪  While this social butterfly could easily make friends with a wall, that doesn’t mean he knows how to flirt with one. He’s so subtle with his intentions that it’s easy to assume he’s just being his regular, friendly self.

🧪  He would take a break from his experiments to brew you an endless supply of Wiggenweld potions for your adventures. He knew you were capable of handling yourself, but he worries about you and wants to help in any way he can.

🧪  He’d make it a point to accompany you around the castle, offering to carry your books or help with extra assignments. He’d refrain from using you as a guinea pig, but he would ask you to help him find ingredients for various potions, sometimes even at strange hours of the night. Most of the time, he has no use for the things he is asking for, he just wants to spend time with you.

🧪  Despite the Weasleys not having a lot of money, Garreth would always offer to treat you to a butterbeer at The Three Broomsticks. He often buys (and occasionally swipes) bags of your favourite sweets from Honeydukes, even though he isn’t partial to them himself. He thinks he’s being subtle by asking you to share, but it doesn’t escape your notice that he never takes a single one, instead leaving them all to you.

🧪  Garreth eventually confesses his feelings to you while drunk on the effects of Felix Felicius. He had been trying to brew it for you, knowing you had a particularly difficult mission ahead, but he had to try it first to make sure it wouldn’t turn you purple or make you break out in boils.

AMIT THAKKAR:

⭐  This poor boy somehow manages to be both a stuttering and word vomiting mess around you.  

⭐  One minute he is telling you all about the great tales he plans to write, how Binns will be assigning his books to every student at Hogwarts by the end of the decade, and then you’ll give him that smile and he’s suddenly blushing and stuttering uncontrollably.  

⭐  He’s most comfortable around you at night, when the stars are there to calm his nerves. This is when you’ll get to see the true Amit, the cute, gentle boy who will point constellations out to you for hours if you’re interested. Although he’d much prefer to find real constellations and their associated imagery, you can occasionally rope him into a silly game of ‘connect the stars’, only because he loves the way your face brightens when you vaguely recognise a mooncalf or niffler dotted in the sky. 

⭐  He is incredibly intelligent, so if you ever need help with a subject, you can rest assured that Amit is more than willing to offer you (and only you) his tutoring services, free of charge! ⭐  Amit is 100% going to support you in all of your endeavors, regardless of how much interest he has in them himself. You play on the Quidditch team? He’ll be at every single practice session to cheer you on. You enjoy ballroom dancing in a room full of dead people? He’s now practicing in his common room every night so he won’t step on your feet (Go to sleep Amit, it’s three in the morning!). You name it, he’ll be there, probably reading a theory book about the history of the hobby. ⭐  It might take him ages, but he will 100% confess to you in the cheesiest way possible. Maybe it will be through an original poem personally delivered to you by owl, or maybe it will be through spelling “I  ❤️ U” in the stars. Regardless, he’ll make sure you’ll be melted into a puddle by his sweetness.

[tgmsunmontue]

Online & Anonymous 7/16

Hangster. Explicit. Years before they meet in person Bradley and Jake strike up a friends-with-benefits relationship online. And then something more like an actual relationship.

Odd year = Bradley's POV and Even year = Jake's POV

>>Bradley chatting (bold and italics)

>>Jake chatting (italics)

2005/2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011

2012 – Jake

              He’s been watching it, staring at it, and he knows Nick is older than him, but he wonders if it changes anything. Well, it definitely changes one thing, and that’s the fact he can say he’s gay and not immediately get dishonorably discharged. He didn’t expect for that to feel like such a weight lifted from him, but it is. However he doesn’t suddenly feel okay with saying or doing anything different. The law was changed quickly and it could change back just as quickly. The one person he can talk about it with is currently incommunicado, and he hates knowing exactly where in the world Nick is, and knowing that Nick has been in hospital for three weeks with a concussion, and is now somewhere doing something. Secret Squirrel. He knows better than to ask.

              Doesn’t mean he likes it.

              Too many weeks pass without hearing from him, and he doesn’t hear from Nick’s friend either, has to trust that he’s still alive and well. And if he isn’t, then his friend will let him know as soon as possible. He tries to ignore the thoughts that something could have happened to both of them. Just like something could happen to him and Javy. He lies in bed and wonders if he needs another backup plan, one that is more foolproof and doesn’t involve anyone that has a high-risk career in the military. He’s been opening and closing Grindr compulsively, has even turned the notifications back on, desperate to know as soon as Nick answers.

>>Do you kind of feel it could be snatched away as quickly as they gave it?

>>What?

>>The DADT repeal.

>>Oh.

>>Shit. Yeah. I kind of forgot about it with the whole hospital visit.

>>Well, don’t think it’ll be going backwards anytime soon. They won’t turn away able bodied people. Finally moving with the times.

>>I’m more curious about the people higher up who have been serving for decades and hiding.

>>Why would they care?

>>Hiding their entire lives? That’s rough.

>>Huh.

>>Yeah. I guess it would be.

>>You served under DADT. Surely you felt that pressure?

>>Yeah. You made it okay though. Made it bearable.

>>I’m glad I could do that for you.

>>So am I.

>>Do you think you’ll ever come out?

>>Like, just be out and gay and in the military?

>>Yeah. Eventually? I’m kind of focused on my career more than anything right now. It’s not like I’m going to run off and find a woman and get two and a half kids any time soon. When I have someone. When we meet. Then I’ll consider it.

>>Yeah. Same.

>>This way of life is hard. Even with the repeal it’s not like everyone’s attitudes are magically fixed. They’ll find something else to pin on people they don’t like, or people they feel don’t fit the type of Navy they envision.

>>Got to play it safe still.

              Jake stares at the words.

              Navy.

              Nick is in the Navy.

              It’s the first time he’s slipped up with some type of fact that significant, one that Jake could actually potentially use to try and find him. Apart from the fact that there are thousands of people in the Navy. Not that he needs to find him, not really. They’re already trying to meet up. It makes him feel even closer to him though, like when Nick had first admitted he was also military and Jake had felt the ties between them tighten a little, shared life experiences; although Nick’s always seemed more at ease with being gay than Jake has ever felt.

>>I refer to you as my boyfriend you know?

>>Only to two people.

>>But still.

>>You sure you don’t want my name?

>>I’m sure.

>>I don’t need to know your name to know how I feel about you.

>>I want you to tell me your name when we meet face to face the first time.

>>Sounds corny, but I just feel like that would be a cool moment to have.

>>Same with our faces.

>>Like a grand unveiling?

>>A bride walking down the aisle?

>>Fuck off. Stop being a dick.

>>I’m never telling you my name now.

>>You can call me Nick forever.

>>Dick even.

>>I’ll keep my face completely covered.

>>Would make sucking my dick kind of awkward.

>>I’d make you wear a blindfold.

>>Tie your hands so you couldn’t take it off.

>>Okay, the idea of that is totally turning me on. We have to try that some time.

>>Sooner rather than later.

>>What’s your schedule like?

>>I have the entire month of July to play with.

>>I can make that work.

>>Okay.

>>Let’s do this.

…           …           …

              “Are you fucking kidding me!”

              “What?” Javy asks.

              “I got new orders. I’m shipping out to Afghanistan in June. They’re cutting this deployment short, giving me my four weeks leave now, and then I’m in Afghanistan for five months. This is bullshit.”

              “Uh. Any particular reason why you’re this angry?”

              “That guy I told you about? Nick?”

              “Yeah, you ‘ve mentioned him once or twice, a day, for the past year…”

              “Fuck off. I have not. Anyway, we were going to meet up last year, in November. But then he got deployed to fucking Afghanistan. So we were like, okay, fine, reschedule, to July. And now I’m being deployed toAfghanistan.”

              “What did you do to piss off the universe?”

              “Ugh. Shut up. It does feel like the world is plotting against us.”

…           …           …

>>Okay. So you’re stateside again in October right?

>>Yeah.

>>Third time lucky?

…           …           …

              It is not third time lucky.

              But neither it is a deployment.

              Sandy hits with the force of a planet scorned and Jake is helpless to do anything but hold on. It’s chaos and he turns up to volunteer, needing to do something to help. All flights are cancelled, so it’s not like he can go anywhere. He’s put to work, and when it becomes apparent he’s trained military he’s put into a more formal role of helping coordinate other volunteers into working parties. Thousands of people need to be evacuated, then a hospital’s backup generator goes and he’s strong and able-bodied, put to work again with emergency services.

              Amongst it all internet service is spotty at best, and he tries to save the power on his phone but it goes dead, unable to be charged with the lack of electricity. He knows it’s only going to be a matter of days before everything returns to a different level of normality but he’s also aware that Nick will be wondering about him. He gets to charge his phone, hovering over it until it’s got enough charge so he can turn it on. He gets reception and then his phone is flooded with notifications and he’s glad no-one is around to hear the constant sounds.

>>Tell me you are safe.

>>Jesus Jas.

>>I know you’re meant to be in New York right now.

>>Please tell me you’re okay.

>>God.

>>You might not even have access to wifi or internet.

>>Fuck.

>>I hate this.

>>Please contact me as soon as you can.

>>I love you.

              There are dozens more, then there are rambling paragraphs of text detailing his thoughts on whatever he’s watching on television, followed by his thoughts on what the news is reporting about Sandy and then it circles back to hoping that Jake is okay.

>>I’m safe.

>>I’m sorry, my phone died and no electricity to charge it. There were emergency charge points set up, but I was kind of busy. I’ve been volunteering.

>>Of course you have. You’re wonderful.

>>Like you wouldn’t do the exact same thing in my place.

>>I go where I’m needed. I’d have been there in a heartbeat if I could.

>>New York is really not a great vacation destination right now.

>>Wouldn’t matter. I’d get to see you.

              Jake bites his bottom lip as he grins at his phone, happiness fluttering in his gut.

>>We knew this was only going to be a week, do kind of feel like I’m dealing with bad karma from a previous life or something though.

>>Fourth time lucky?

>>And I know this might be weird, but with DADT gone I was thinking we could switch to another messenger app. I don’t mind using Grindr for hooking up.

>>But I’m not hooking up with you.

>>You want to separate me from your bad-sex experiences and low quality encounters and put me in my own special folder huh?

>>You’re a secret romantic. Admit it.

>>God you’re a dick.

>>You’re the one who just said he’d be here with me in a heartbeat.

>>I could just delete the app and disappear forever.

>>We both know you wouldn’t do that.

>>You’d miss me too much.

>>I’d miss you.

>>And somehow I’m the romantic?

>>I’ll have a look and see if there’s something else that can be just for us okay?

>>Okay.

2013