#its literally different for every system
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It really depends on system to system, but we use "main" as to describe who does this job most often and fronts most often with their job, or is associated with things the most.
We as a polyfrag system tend to like to keep to their positions, roles and existences, but I've known other polyfrag systems that constantly change as a coping mechanism.
Like we have main host, main protector and main gatekeeper, but its more associated for being in the system the longest and being most known by front.
I think it's funny as a large Polyfragmented system to see people using the terms "Main Trauma holder" and "Main gatekeeper" and pretty much any other "main" Alter Role because we've gotten to the point we barely see a lot of people for a long time after they front.
We have people we used to consider our "main"s in a lot of things but we've gone through so much and have such a low ability to function on the assumption that at some point they will come back that we just label them as they appear and don't bother adding levels to them beyond Fragment or fully formed.
#its literally different for every system#it really depends on how u cope n stuff#and alters who front way less often than others can also likely be fragments#but it really depends if theyre needed or not#also they could be subsystem alters!
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The himbo, malewife, goofball -fication of percy jackson is such a crime by both the fans and riordan. It has made Mr not like percabeth as a couple because in all posts and in later books annabeth is such a girlboss, while Percy's dumb and can't fight his way out of a paperbag without her. All the posts are about how annabeth will be an architect and percy would love to be a trophy husband.
Even the humor in the books went from Percy's sharp wit and snark to 'my pancakes can't drown because I'm a son of poseidon.'
And now this recommendation letter bullshit.
Honestly now I'd wish percy just separated from annabeth (but they remain best friends.) He stays home with his family, becomes a camp counselor, helps young demigods, holds God's accountable and eventually becomes a social activist. (I also dislike him doing something marine biology related. It's clear he hates academics but he always wants to help people. Him helping demigods and mortals is such a wholesome profession for him.)
I fully agree with the first half of this, though I slightly disagree with part of the latter.
The later-series and fanon mischaracterization of Percy is at least a solid 50% ableism minimum, full stop. He's being warped into a very stereotyped ADHD character and the exact reason why he's being characterized as "dumb" is because of ableism. Percy is a very intelligent character! That's exactly why he's so in sync with Annabeth and they're such a strong duo! It's just generally Annabeth is more book/academically smart.
I disagree with where you say he hates academics - because that's one of the common misconceptions about his character. Percy doesn't hate learning or academic subjects! He's not even bad at them! We know explicitly that when he is in an accommodating environment he is interested in learning and gets significantly better grades! Percy only dislikes school because it is generally an environment that systematically he struggles with. It's literally just he has a learning disability (two, actually)! That's it! When his learning disability is accommodated for he does well! It's almost like that's what accommodations are all about! We know this from the first series! It's discussed pretty in-depth! Percy isn't a dumb character and he doesn't hate learning, he's just been let down by school systems so much that he's inherently distrustful of them. If they actually accommodate him though then he does just fine!
And that's exactly what CHB was all about and why New Rome University was supposed to be such a big thing for him! CHB is a learning environment geared for demigods. NRU is a demigod college. Both inherently imply an environment meant to cater to and accommodate students with ADHD and dyslexia! They are both systematically structured to be able to accommodate him! Heck, CHB and CJ even both address in the wider themes of the series a metaphor about how ADHD and dyslexia are commonly seen as childhood disabilities, and how it can be more difficult to find accommodations into adulthood because of that attitude but those disabilities don't just go away - that's why CHB is a summer camp but they talk about how demigods outside of CHB don't often fare well. The metaphor there is those who are not getting help or accommodations are struggling. Because that's how that works! This is a fully intentional metaphor from the first series! CHB is never framed as being perfect for demigods, because one of the entire central conflicts of the series is Percy and Luke going back and forth about this flawed system meant to help and support them but still letting people fall through the cracks. The "claim your kids by 13" thing is a metaphor about how acknowledging a child's disabilities (and possibly getting a diagnosis) earlier/as early as possible means they will have more time to learn and build up resources and support for themselves to be able to use later in life. One of CHB's major flaws is that it can accommodate demigods to a certain point, but it can only do so much before those demigods have to leave (the metaphor being accommodating school systems when those disabled students do not have any other forms of accommodations in their lives.)
And that's why Camp Jupiter was framed as being so revolutionary for Percy because it had an environment acknowledging that this is not just a childhood disability, adults with ADHD/dyslexia exist too and still need and deserve accommodations, AND is a place where those accommodations are available. That's why Camp Jupiter and NRU are treated as such special and important things to Percy, because it's essentially Percy being shown this type of thing can and does exist and it is available to him. It is an option he never thought was possible. Percy never thought he'd be able to go to college because he would not be able to go through school without accommodations, but NRU proves otherwise.
The part that's absolutely stupid is Rick then proceeded to retcon NRU so that apparently it's not a full college and Percy still has to take classes at normal mortal college which DEFEATS THE ENTIRE PURPOSE OF NRU EXISTING. Rick has fully retconned that demigods struggle past the ages of 16-18 when they're on their own (see above elaborated metaphors) and in doing so we have fully killed all symbolism in literally all of that. It's so stupid. And by having the plot of the CoTG trilogy entirely be that Percy is not actually allowed access to NRU in the first place because he is a son of Poseidon and has to do extra to even be accepted is stupid!
All that to say, I agree the marine biology feels like a huge cop-out and a disservice to his character by reducing him to just a son of Poseidon. The literal only reason why it's the default option people take for him is because oh, fish thing, fish guy. But I feel like everyone ignores the really obvious answer for what Percy would want to do which is - writing. Both his parents are writers/authors and he clearly admires that about them. Percy likes telling stories! He canonically is already a published author in-universe! That's what the books ARE in-universe! The first series fully exists in their universe and Percy is the author! This is explicit canonical information! Percy canonically has help physically writing it down (accommodations) but he is still the credited author! Percy is a writer! Already! Canonically! Why are we making him a marine biologist he already has a profession that ties into his character significantly more. Like you said, Percy likes helping people. That's what the books in-universe are supposed to be for! It's point blank at the beginning of the series! Book one! The thing everybody quotes all the time! The books exist because it is Percy trying to give advice to other demigods who don't know what's going on yet! It's Percy's writing down his experiences to help new demigods understand and contextualize their experiences so they can understand themselves better and figure out what's going on - WHICH IN ITSELF IS ALSO A METAPHOR ABOUT ADHD/DYSLEXIA! Because the core of the series has and always will be built around ADHD/dyslexia! Percy as a protagonist EXPLICITLY was created so that ADHD/dyslexic kids could see themselves as a hero!
Sorry that all was a very tangential rant but my point being: Absolutely. Percy in newer stuff in the franchise and in fanon is horrifically mischaracterized in ways that are functionally either fully ableist (shoutout TSATS for just outright claiming Percy is intentionally lazy and skips school out of disinterest, which is like the number one ableist attitude towards kids with learning disabilities) or a complete erasure of Percy's disabilities. Also I think he should be a writing major not a marine biologist.
#pjo#percy jackson#riordanverse#rr crit#cotg#meta#analysis#chalice of the gods#adhd#dyslexia#disability#Anonymous#ask#long post //#i do agree with the ''Percy continues to hold the gods accountable'' thing because that too is a metaphor for adhd/dyslexia#more re: accommodating systems and making sure demigods (disabled kids) are getting the support they need#functionally it's equivalent to Percy doing that thing where you have to nag whoever's in charge of ADA stuff to actually do their job#it's the rant i always go on: you cannot remove the disability themes from PJO or else it is no longer PJO and you ruin everything#you cannot divorce Percy's character from being disabled/having ADHD and dyslexia/PTSD/etc#it is the core of his character and the entire plotline and arc he navigates in the first series#disability is the foundational core of the franchise and if you fuck that up you have literally lost the plot and need to revise#i actually really genuinely love the layers of disability themes and metaphors in the first series and thats why its my favorite#because every other subsequent main series loses that#the other series arent as much about disability - they have different focal themes - so they get a pass there#though they do way better to holding on to their focal themes more than like HoO or TOA does by LEAGUES#anyways i didnt proofread this cause its early so forgive any errors or nonsense i was just ramblin'
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Someone pissed me off a couple of days ago
So! Below are several links to programs and foundations that promote adult literacy! Hundreds of millions of adults world wide were failed by their education system and now must fend for themselves while trying to read contracts and hospital bills and infographics from the CDC. But they don't have to be alone, and it is never too late to learn!
ProLiteracy: A network of educators, researchers, and advocates which provides research reports, learning materials, and other support to adult education programs. They assist with connecting volunteers to local programs and provide guidance and support to community leaders trying to use their programs' findings to advocate for social and political change.
Adult Literacy League: An adult education program in Central Florida, which aims to provide students with one on one attention to foster growth and confidence. It also offers English Second Language courses and job skills training, and each new student receives a comprehensive assessment to determine the best plan for them.
Saint Vincent and Sarah Fisher Center's Foundational Skills Program: A 100% free adult education program aimed at adults reading below a fifth grade level. It operates year round and is either in person or remote, and they now have a GED testing center that is open to students and the public alike.
Washtenaw Literacy: A free network of trained tutors for adults in Washtenaw County, Michigan.
Adult Learning Program (Las Vegas/Clark County): Free education classes to those lacking a high school diploma, those seeking to learn ESL, and adults who read below an eighth grade level. Also assists in students' search for gainful employment. Nevada got so fucked by COVID and the education/literacy numbers in the South West are grim. Please help these guys.
Hawaii Literacy: In addition to helping adult residents of Hawaii Island learn to read and write AND bridging the education gap in Hawaii's underserved children, they offer computer literacy classes, ESL classes, and a bookmobile. 1 in 6 Hawaiian adults struggle to read and write.
#Not Stories#mutual aid#adult literacy#'uuhhhggg its soooo disappointing when i meet a girl who's like 'yeah omg i luv 2 read'#'and then she only reads booktok trash and grocery store thrillers and manga'#'like come on thats such a turn off :/'#'like aren't you bored??? what about reading The Foundation and War & Peace and Grapes of Wrath where's THAT girl haha'#nobody gives a shit what sort of high school reading list gets your dick stiff! NOBODY!#I'm too busy dealing with the fact that most public education systems hate students of color and anyone with a learning disability#from the very bottom of my very dyslexic heart go fuck yourself#'this chick only read 8 books in twelve months lmfao thats so pathetic'#'i read eight books a MONTH some people really give up after high school'#do you think my great grandfather or his father got to fucking finish high school????#or were they busy getting fucking shot at in germany in two different fucking wars????#thank every god you wanna name that my lunatic mother stopped abusing me long enough to put me through FIVE YEARS OF TUTORING#to get ME literate because that's what it fucking took#I watched more than one kid from my underserved semi rural district drop out at 17 or 16 or 15#because their parents needed a third paycheck or they were gonna lose the goddamn house#10% of my majority black school district graduated FUNCTIONALLY ILLITERATE and not an ounce of it was those kids' fault#our racist ass school district failed them and the district did NOT protect my white ass when I was diagnosed dyslexic#the adult literacy crisis is not about you getting a girlfriend who can discuss Ayn Rand with you#the adult literacy crisis is about us being exploited and neglected and made easier to control and manipulate#reading is FUCKING HARD and learning to read after the age of six is SO MUCH HARDER#so from the VERY very bottom of my VERY very dyslexic heart#FUCK. YOU.
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Is this fanfic friendly? I feel like an outlier.
I guess this is my sign it's time to throw together a FAQ post to link to lol.
Yes, every event for this blog is fanfic friendly :D
Though as I mentioned on my Ominous October post, for events that include multiple short stories, I encourage everyone to flex their creativity and take one of their planned short story fanfics, and at least *attempt* to turn one of them into something entirely original; rebuilding a character and story from the ground up to stand on its own two legs is no easy feat, and that is what makes it so fun!
It really gets your creative gears turning, to make an "au of an existing material" to be something entirely original, and you can be pleasantly surprised about the things you come up with!
As a few people say, its not just a matter of "filing the serial numbers off" -- you have to add in just as much *or more* as what you take out when you are turning a fanfiction into something that is original and completely divorced from its original source material / inspiration, and that is a hard, but very rewarding challenge!
Obviously, this is not a requirement (there's no hard requirements for any of the challenges, other than no cheating, including no using AI),
but if you would like an extra challenge for the short story events and you're planning on doing entirely fan-fiction, I highly recommend trying it out at least once, and seeing where it leads you--
you may find yourself pleasantly surprised by what you find down that rabbit hole!
#replies#novella november#long rambly tags to follow lol#including anti royalist / anti billionaire shit#ominous october#this is what my novella november is going to be#something that WAS a huge earth-shattering fanfic AU#but before I even got past a WIP Oneshot I'd already realized that what I was planning was going to turn canon so far on its head it would#be unrecognizable and it would be much better off and more coherent if I made it entirely original#so now it is!#not only does this involve changing every single characters name#everyone is now a completely different species other than human because thats always fun#and of course we're also tackling all the issues that had annoyed me in omega verse fics since I was like 14 and liked the#creature aspects but hated the biological essentialism and misogny / caste systems#if your fantasy people have an enforced caste system you gotta actually treat that like the horror and systemic oppression it is#not just say 'biological = right' like dude what do you think people have been saying about real women this whole time????#people literally insist women are biologically inferior to men do you really think supporting that idea is going to make you sound#progressive just because your main character is a tomboy independant woman?#also like she lost all her independence as soon as she found a man to marry so uhhhhh#what happened to being ready and willing to hit the bricks if people kept talking down to you and condescending you for being a woman????#why did you go from independant badass tomboy to fainting damsel who spends all her time worrying about failing to produce an heir#so her husband can take power#instead of just straight up telling your husband#'hey I don't want to deal with the bullshit from your father how about we do the-#- socially acceptable thing and just go off to make our own independant settlement with some of the villagers who are on your side'#like your husband would literally be escstatic about this idea of finally getting out from under his dad's tyrannical thumb#and its more like way more than half the villagers would go with you not just a handful#theyve been sick of the kings shit for years and only your husband's potential rise to rule kept them in check#cus he actually cares about the villagers and goes among them#while still clearly having some biases to work through when it comes to class and gender equality
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habeas corpus – detective comics #1086
(ID in alt!)
#loved this back up feature so much and seeing that bruce timm shit made me annoyed enough to actually transcribe it#first the way hes depicted as having to stand trial and ARGUE and fight for the rights of using the coin#rather than it just being a compulsion and something he must do before a decision....#like every time. every time when he's 'leaving it up to chance'—thats a time when harvey won. thats a time when harvey fought for the right#to use the coin and make it at least a 50/50 chance instead of 'crawling away until the hard part is done' like two face pushed for#every single time. regardless of the results regardless of knowing theres only a halfway chance of it actually achieving anything#or lessening the damage two face can/will do. every time hes fighting for and still believing in a fair trial and that everyone deserves on#it isnt him being weak. it isnt him avoiding responsibility. its him fighting and forcing and pushing for it as hes internally at war#with himself 24/7. even when two face wins he doesnt give up & continues to fight for what he believes in despite the injustice done to him#the way he tells Judge Janus that it isnt about HIM (himself!) while defending the right of existence to the jury of other societal rejects#the way he gestures to himself only at the very end. he asks the judge does that sound like anyone he knows and janus replies in two faces#voice but harvey keeps going. he keeps fighting for others. but at the end in actually acknowledging two face being part of him#(and by extension harvey being part of two face) and how harvey is fighting just as much to have a place as two face is#(but more within his own mind & upholding his belief system still despite knowing how it continues to fail them) and just FUCK#and two faces snaps! how theres no jurisprudence system above there either ! just no one will admit it!#how harvey knows!!! look what happened to him when he was doing the right thing!#look how many criminals and mob bosses paid their way out! look how the police are corrupt!#but still believing in it and how a system has to be in place despite being a direct victim of it as well and just GOD#I LOVE YOU GOOD HEARTED AND WANTING TO HELP PEOPLE HARVEY DENT YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS TO ME !!!!!!!!#taking away how he genuinely wanted to help people and bring wrongs to rights takes away literally everything hes built on#it takes away the entire fucking tragedy of his character (and in many ways it changes how bruce himself operates and believes because#harvey WAS a good man doing everything by the books. he was trying to bring justice in the 'right way' and believed in the system. he was#what people tell bruce he should be and look where it got him. look how the system failed 'even the good ones' because the system itself is#corrupt. it isnt flawed—it was operated to oppress and thats why it cant just be fixed but must be entirely rebuilt and why bruce must#operate outside of it. it also gives more depth because harvey is one of batmans first and biggest failures. he didnt protect him.#he didnt save his parents as a helpless child (as bruce) but he couldn't save his parents as BATMAN.#it wasnt just random chance like his parents tragedy but this was calculated and something bruce didnt stop. its ALWAYS going to eat at#him if he could of prevented it by telling harvey his identity. by doing something different. by being more prepared or somehow#knowing it was going to happen. harvey is the face of tragedy in so many ways that cant fit in these messy rambly tags but its ALLL!!!!!!!#bc harv was (and still is despite it all! despite two face!) a good man!! because he originally was a glimmer of hope to bruce & the city!!
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the billionaires paying off the government to shape it to suit them will not voluntarily give up power, the working class must seize this power. trump does not stand for the average american but rather only serves to further divide the working class, by appealing overwhelmingly to folks that share his views of hatred and feeding them lies to make them believe their neighbor is the enemy instead of elon musk or jeff bezos. this distraction of in-fighting in the working class then diminishes the ability to organize and allows the mega-rich to do whatever they want behind the scenes. folks don't notice that these people are infringing on their rights because they're too concerned with harboring hate towards their immigrant neighbor or their liberal kids, who were never their enemy until trump told them so. it's all part of the plan to increase the divide between rich and poor and increase the power of the rich.
#working class#seize the means of production#eat the rich#america is being fed an illusion of separation to drive us apart until its real#the middle class is being separated and eroded down to widen the power gap between the rich and the poor#kamala wasnt gonna stop any of this either shes as much a part of the machine as trump#but trump cant even be bothered to try to conceal his interests in power above all else and using that power to only help his rich buddies#also the democratic party is crumbling as proven by their increasingly shady tactics every year#dems didnt even get a primary or a chance to pick their candidate...#kamala historically polled low like dems would not have chosen her if they ever even had the chance#no matter who won it was never going to be an actual election its all a farce and an illusion#no people had any real choice in which candidates made it to the election#it was purely here's your two choices#theyre exactly the same (capitalist imperialist etc) but different colors (red or blue)#i hate it here#t#trump is not for the average american#he is lying to you and tricking you to gain power#he wants you to fight with your neighbors and family so you have nothing left but an idol promising youre right and delivering nothing#trumps goal was to be as disagreeable and out there as possible so dems looks frantic and panicked and emotional#its LITERALLY all part of his plan#hes not gonna drain the swamp#hes gonna put rich out of touch people in positions of power and cut all funding to public support systems#if you voted for this i truly believe youve been tricked and youre stupid for letting that happen but also#its easier to trick someone than convince them they've been tricked so its an uphill battle once trump has already deceived the masses#literally fuck this people are so fucking dumb ive been trying to not insult people but this is truly what it comes down to#trumpers who say its all an illusion and we're being tricked but think trump is the solution rather than the puppetmaster himself is nuts#you're being fooled tricked bamboozled hijinksed#like i said i was not for kamala either shes still part of the machine but at least she didnt outwardly promise to dismantle rights...#lowkey wanna tag this trump 2024 just so trumpers actually see it like theyre the ones that need to know lmao
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gonna be honest I see anyone talking about this "my gender is more complicated than yours" shit as someone who genuinely cannot comprehend that other people that don't share certain traits with them can still in fact have rich interior lives. as an agender trans woman who uses she/her I've never had anyone say it to me who wasn't (usually unknowingly) transmisogynistic
see but im not talking about "rich interior lives" and the assumption that i am is exactly what im talking about. i am talking about the actual physical way that reality treats and percieves me in comparison to the way it treats and percieves you. saying my gender is "more complex" means to me that i am physically incapable of existing in a strictly binary world and that there is no thing i can pass as bc "binary man" and "binary woman" are both incorrect for me. and the Cisiety in question does not allow androgyny to exist - it is exclusively the timeframe people have to decide whether they think you are a cisman or a ciswoman, or a failure and a freak. i dont subscribe to that "binary privilege" shit, thats not how privilege works. but there are differences in the ways both you and i can navigate this strictly binary Cisiety!!! and those differences deserve to be named, imo
like. again. i dont have to comfort you about your own internal sense of gender before youll listen to me about my experiences in the real world as genderqueer. as a different sort of transsexual than you.
(and bc i Know what binary ppl love to say: i know not everyone is 'capable of passing'. what i am talking about specifically is the difference between being unable to pass as a cis woman or a cis man vs being unable to pass bc what i am does not exist AT ALL in a binary society, and both of those things are incorrect ans unattainable.)
(anyways if that language is too imperfect for you thats like fine but. its just confusing to me, i dont get why its hard to understand what we are talking about here. our experiences w our nonbinary genders are completely different! why do i have to discuss them like theyre the same?)
#do you consider yourself transfem first or agender first on an internal level?#do you feel like you are predominantly treated as a trans woman in your day to day? does that hurt the part of you that is agender?#< not trying to grill u or anything im genuinely curious#ive had similar convos w my transmasc and transfem nonbinary friends as well as like. my gnc binary trans friends#i am just curious bc. like i said 'binary' isnt a bad thing to be and frankly since u identify urself as agender ur not really the target a#dience here anyways?#the idea that theres no such thing as a binary trans person just#fundamentally misunderstands the extremely broad swathe of nonbinary experiences and treatments#my passing transmasc enby friends dont particularly feel touched by transphobia unless theyre clocked or unless our areas laws changed#but some DO feel like they r effected by exorsexism on a day to day by being assumed to be binary men and having the other parts of their i#entities erased#while others are completely comfortable being percieved as strictly men and moving through life strictly as men#which is sounds like. i would guess youd have a similar position since u exclusively use she/her?#like.. it sounds to me like your 'rich interior life' doesnt really have an outward effect on the way people percieve and treat you and the#way you react to it which is very different from my experience#binary doesnt mean your gender is 'simple' it just means that you are comfortable within a binary system even of you dont personally identi#y with it. and maybe this is a case of 'political identity vs personal identity'??#and all of this is FINE its just. literally every time i talk about my own unique positioning my transandrogyny or whatever gives me#people crawl out of the woodwork to tell me my experiences are not actually unique#do u see what my issue is? my own trans experiences are erased bc other people 'disagree' with . what. my perspective as an 'unaligned' enb#? when its like. literally none of us are gonna have the same needs or experiences as trans people#and if 'binary' works to show that you are fine and comfortable being percieved exclusively as a woman#and 'nonbinary' works to show i am not#i dont really see what the issue w using the word 'binary' is#like i said. its not a slur. its not a bad thing to be.#and tbh i think this insistence that 'unaligned' nonbinary ppls perspectives arent actually unique to binary or 'aligned' nonbinary ppls is#directly contributing to like. lateral bigotry coming from said 'unaligned' enbies. like if u put urself in my shoes for a second and u gre#up being constantly told you were either a cis invader who didnt actually have any trans experiences and that only people who want to 'full#transition' were REAL transsexuals then. youd be kinda jaded too right? and im sure you ARE kinda jaded lol.#anyways. sorry for rambling at you i dont have any more tags left lol
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biting biting biting biting biting
#hate my college's password reset system i keep trying to reset it and its LITERALLY meeting every guideline and is totally new#i keep trying different combos and each time this dipshit system is like ''uhh it doesnt meet the guidelines'' YES IT DOES IDIOT!!!#can you at least not make me repeat the whole fucking process over and over and over and over#echoed voice#im literally graduating this year just let me keep my old password ffs
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I feel you'd like to know I'm becoming obsessed with RDR2 and Arthur.
this is the BEST news you could have given me tonight honestly RDR2 means everything to me
#im so glad you're becoming obsessed with this i am SOOO ready for your arthur era omggg i will be so annoying about it dont tempt me#i bought it without watching a trailer when it released because i played rdr1 all my teen years (literally from like 13 to 18 i was there)#so i trusted it and bought it without knowing anything#i play online every single day and ive beat the campaign at least once a year since it came out#i own this game on THREE DIFFERENT SYSTEMS ive bought it FOUR TIMES (i lost my xbox copy in a move and had to buy it again)#and it is ART to me#its my favorite game ever in existence and thats not just the horse girl talking#asks#starchild0985#i have this game's map hanging on my wall next to my spiderman poster im so so normal about it
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How the fuck am i supposed to recieve comfort or tell myself im not a horrible fucking EVERYTHING when literally i do nothing but cause harm. How the fuck is a perpetrator of harm supposed to be consoled? Im that fucking horrible huh
#system babbles#genuinely idk what to do because every time i start feeling better i do something worse or i do something to make it all come back around#its a pattern.everyone ive ever been with says i dont change or improve. its happening again and im just#im stuck waiting for the day everyone gets sick of it and realizes its time to ditch me. nothing is forever and ive had 4 homes in 2 year#all containing different sets of people who said they cared about me#I've lost everything every single time I've ever tried and the more i keep trying at anything the more i fail and harm others#man it's everything i can do to keep myself nicies to myself. i already let everyone and myself down multiple times today#vent#negative#i just FUCKING hate myself and I don't know what to do or where to go because i feel like I'm on fire and i wanna die but its all my fault#everything thats hurt me has been completely my fault and i dont even have a right to complain yet. there i go again. fucks sake#someone just hit me as hard as they can so i can learn or something. obviously kindness isnt working anymore but#physical abuse has worked in the past to make me shut the fuck up. why can't we just bring that back. I'd like that#idk i feel awful and i have no right to want to feel better but i want to so bad. i want to stop hurting LITERALLY the#most important being in the entire world to me. i keep doing it and i don't see myself changing. i only see anger growing and becoming more#frequent
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#ughh tfw i cant remember if i did or didnt take meds literally 2 seconds ago#i usually pull out every bottle i need and put them back as i take them so i dont lose track#(or turn them upside down but only for my sleeping meds which have a table. regular meds are in a bag bc its too many to line up)#but just now i was distracted and idk if i took it bc i was pulling them one at a time#i gotta come up with some other system of checking when ive taken them this shit is frustrating#my cup water level is not telling me the answer bc i just chugged a bunch a minute ago (ive used this method in the past tho)#hfffffff#i think im just gonna take it. or. yknow what split the difference ill take half the dose (one pill instead of two)#((its not at a dangerous dose if i do accidentally take 3. and i wont suffer noticable consequences if i take a half dose))#i hate doing this tho bc then i end up with an odd number of pills left in the bottle#meaning i gotta take the last pill from this bottle and then only one pill from a new bottle#oh actually nvm theres 7 pills in there (see i do this compromise often enough lmao)#so ok one pill works out then#meds taken i just gotta remember to take my sleeping meds in a few just ugh#i hate how stress and pain have really worn me down over the past months#vent#personal#delete later / /#Cori.exe#Post.exe
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hey uh so I haven't seen anyone talking about this here yet, but
the amazon river, like the biggest river in the fucking world, in the middle of the amazon fucking rainforest, is currently going through its worst drought since the records began 121 years ago
picture from Folha PE
there's a lot going on but I haven't seen much international buzz around this like there was when the forest was on fire (maybe because it's harder to shift the narrative to blame brazil exclusively as if the rest of the world didn't have fault in this) so I wanted to bring this to tumblr's attention
I don't know too many details as I live in the other side of the country and we are suffering from the exact opposite (at least three cyclones this year, honestly have stopped counting - it's unusual for us to get hit by even one - floods, landslides, we have a death toll, people are losing everything to the water), but like, I as a brazilian have literally never seen pictures of the river like this before. every single city in the amazonas state is in a state of emergency as of november 1st.
pictures by Adriano Liziero (ig: geopanoramas)
we are used to seeing images of rio negro and solimões, the two main amazon river affluents, in all their grandiose and beauty and seeing these pictures is really fucking chilling. some of our news outlets are saying the solimões has turned to a sand desert... can you imagine this watery sight turning into a desert in the span of a year?
while down south we are seeing amounts of rain and hailstorms the likes of which our infrastructure is simply not built to deal with, up north people who have built everything around the river are at a loss of what to do.
the houses there that are built to float are just on the ground, people who depend on fishing for a living have to walk kilometers to find any fish that are still alive at all, the biodiversity there is at risk, and on an economic level it's hard to grasp how people from the northern states are getting by at all - the main means of transport for ANYTHING in that region is via the river water. this will impact the region for months to come. it doesnt make a lot of sense to build a lot of roads bc it's just better to use the waterway system, everything is built around or floats on the river after all. and like, the water level is so incomprehensibly low the boats are just STUCK. people are having a hard time getting from one place to another - keep in mind the widest parts of the river are over 10 km apart!!
this shit is really serious and i am trying not to think about it because we have a different kind of problem to worry about down south but it's really terrifying when I stop to think about it. you already know the climate crisis is real and the effects are beyond preventable now (we're past global warming, get used to calling it "global boiling"). we'll be switching strategies to damage control from now on and like, this is what it's come to.
I don't like to be alarmist but it's hard not to be alarmed. I'm sorry that I can't end this post with very clear intructions on how people overseas can help, there really isn't much to do except hope the water level rises soon, maybe pray if you believe in something. in that regard we just have to keep pressing for change at a global level; local conditions only would not, COULD NOT be causing this - the amazon river is a CONTINENTAL body of water, it spans across multiple countries. so my advice is spread the word, let your representatives know that you're worried and you want change towards sustainability, degrowth and reduced carbon emissions, support your local NGOs, maybe join a cause, I don't know? I recommend reading on ecological and feminist economics though
however, I know you can help the affected riverine families by donating to organizations dedicated to helping the region. keep in mind a single US dollar, pound or euro is worth over 5x more in our currency so anything you donate at all will certainly help those affected.
FAS - Sustainable Amazon Fundation
Idesam - Sustainable Developent and Preservation Institute of Amazonas
Greenpeace Brasil - I know Greenpeace isn't the best but they're one of the few options I can think of that have a bridge to the international world and they are helping directly
There are a lot of other smaller/local NGOs but I'm not sure how you could donate to them from overseas, I'll leave some of them here anyway:
Projeto Gari
Caritás Brasileira
If you know any other organizations please link them, I'll be sure to reblog though my reach isn't a lot
thank you so much for reading this to the end, don't feel obligated to share but please do if you can! even if you just read up to here it means a lot to me that someone out there knows
also as an afterthought, I wanted to expand on why I think this hasn't made big news yet: because unlike the case of the 2020 forest fires, other countries have to hold themselves accountable when looking at this situation. while in 2020 it was easier to pretend the fires were all our fault and people were talking about taking the amazon away from us like they wouldn't do much worse. global superpowers have no more forests to speak of so I guess they've been eyeing what latin america still has. so like this bit of the post is just to say if you're thinking of saying anything of the sort, maybe think of what your own country has done to contribute to this instead of blaming brazil exclusively and saying the amazon should be protected by force or whatever
#solarpunk#sustainability#environmentalism#climate change#climate crisis#global warming#amazon rainforest#amazon river#geography#brazil#degrowth#punk#global boiling#ecopunk#anti capitalism#climate action#climate activism#the world does not die on my watch#i saw someone use that tag and uh i like it we should make it a thing#long post#:/ sorry i know no one likes lengthy bad news posts on their dashes but i've been thinking about this quite a bit#and i don't really know what to do to help bc i don't have money to donate and i am 10 thousand km away#i think i could be doing more to help but i am already trying my best#again dont feel obligated to share or read this but it would be nice and i would love you forever#have removed lbv from the post
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its beyond fucking sad like. tumblr as a site. as a function. is great. it arguably still holds a pre-internet 3.0 concept up and keeps it alive (blogs as a community tool). It functions completely uniquely from other social media. parts that haven't been eroded away by idiot companies playing hot potato are still great (i can still look through all of my posts with my archive tool, or make a new blog theme entirely).
All that had to be done was Not Dip Their Toes into the Transphobic Pool. Which isn't a hard request. It's literally just "respect the people that want to be trans and be happy and tell people that are slinging harassment at them to Fuck off".
Sure, they also need to not let the site erode more and more into this ugly little amalgam of a barely functioning ad-ridden Twitter wannabe that requires at least 2 different mobile add-ons to even function properly. But like. I'd happily support them monetarily if they weren't the most cartoonishly Scummy site.
Like I'm still on twitter and it's a cesspool. But there at least it's funny that "Cis" is considered a word that Musk wants censored for "Spreading hate speech".
Here I have to confront the fact, every few days, that whoever moderates the site will happily either Delete Trans/POC blogs without hesitation, or, if we wanna be generous, nobody moderating the site Gives a Shit and just lets Transphobe/racist hategroups run rampant on the report system.
And don't fucking forget what happened to Avery/Rita! I don't want to spread word about her without her approval, but I will say, people have no fucking clue how bad things got for her after what happened, and the fact that she's put up such a strong face when she was literally in the "Public's" Eye as a Trans Woman the CEO of a website stalked and harassed even after he personally demanded all of her blogs be Permanently erased, is beyond the pale of what should be asked for her, or any trans or poc person.
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ive for real been building in my mind all the things youd need to figure out to make a sewing machine &/- embroidery machine and besides the fact that theres just some compromises that have to be made in replacing cast iron parts with anything else i really truly do believe it wouldnt even be that hard. like probably more mechanically complex at the most basic level than a 3d printer but not THAT mechanically complex and a lot of the weird little bits are more or less standardized. you can buy an old style tension assembly for like $10 or something. you can buy metal bobbin cases & bobbins in packs for like $5 on amazon. mostly not sure about the hook assembly part but its probably simpler than im making it in my mind
#ive been focusing on embroidery machines more just because you can find old sewing machines for like under $50 and youll be good#embroidery machines are EXPENSIVE and theyre also filled with proprietary junk#but theyre literally like 3/4 of a sewing machine plus an xy stage. and those DO NOT have to be expensive#i think probably building off reprap itd be easier to make a computerized machine than a manual one because the resources & knowledge#about motor control are pretty directly applicable whereas complex cam systems are a very different & new beast#i think its always gonna take some amount of cams just because a new motor for every single bit would be silly & less reliable#but some of those older machines that pushed the limit of cams trying to do what computerized machines make trivial are crazyyyy
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Becaise I'm tired of seeing this happen to other bloggers & also frequently myself:
If someone talks about being unable to do something without assistance due to a disability, and how that influences their life, how that dependency on others is scary and can be exploited etc. And your only response is "I experience this except I end up doing the thing by myself because no one helps me". and then they tell you "hey, you deserve to get support for this when you need it. but this is actually not the same as my experience because if i do not get help i absolutely can not get it done by myself. Like I'm fully unable to do this." And your response is to get mad / accuse them of trying to be "divisive" / telling them they're dismissing your struggles / blaming them for your feelings about this response essentially / calling them ableist for literally just pointing out the fact that there is a difference between these situations / etc, then you are the problem.
Just for a minute try to imagine what it's like. That you can not do something without assistance. Let's say you absolutely can not drive a car even if your life depended on it. You completely rely on being driven around. You can not do anything that requites a car without another person being physically there the entire time and holding the steering wheel. And tons of people see you talk about that and join in with "yeah I also can't drive in theory, but I still do it because I have to because my life depends on it". That does not feel good. That is a constant reminder that hey! Other people can totally do this even though its hard! If your support vanishes you can not do this thing your life depends on no matter how hard you try! The voices of people who actually experience the same thing as you get drowned out in the flood of these "I totally get it"s from people who do in fact, not totally get it. Because In reality, one of you is sitting behind a wheel and the other isnt and Never Will.
Acknowledging differences is not the enemy. We are not arguing about emotions here. We are literally begging people to see that two physical realities are different. And no matter how often we say that you still deserve support and that we acknowledge that things are hard and exhausting for you and sometimes even dangerous, that isnt enough for you? Every time I try to get one of these people to see reason I tell them: I know this is hard for you. I know this is exhausting for you. I acknowledge your reality. But that's not what they want to hear. So, what more do you want? For me to lay down and say "yeah actually we experience totally the same things" and then watch as the healthcare system out to save every penny tries to dismantle my support system because well, if I try really hard I'll probably get it done myself?
#actually autistic#autistic adult#autistic community#medium support needs#actually disabled#disabled community#inspired by recent events but this feeling had been building up for months at this point
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Hate when ppl are shitty abt pda..
#Yes this is abt our last reblog#Who cares if someone is kissing in public leave them alone thanks#Ofc we respect repulsion we just dont accept like. policing pda like that.#Where we live pda is very disallowed even among cis straight ppl. Even cis straight ppl here have gotten violence#Directed at them for pda...#And that influences our views. Not every place is like the united states.#Also my in sys partner who was there in this system far longer than me was raised in a very romance negative and sex negative culture#And it is no way progressive to ban or criticize pda#Don't make literal public spaces unwelcome to ppl istg. ..if you dont like it you can literally just look away#If its a space that belongs to you or youre in close quarters its reasonable to set boundaries#But shut the fuck up if you think random ppl kissing in public is going to mess up childrens heads or whatever#And yes. I have even seen otherwise progressive ppl say shit like that. Its a problem in the aro community too#We're aro and have seen aroaces(and other aros and/or aces) be sex negative and romance negative as hell#And it needs to stop. Theres a fucking difference between calling ppl immoral for making out and saying you don't want to talk about#romance or sex#pda#romance negativity#sex negativity#-💖#emote tag bc we're not open abt our in sys relationships n I feel like#Ppl might figure out who Im referring to as my in sys partner abt based on the tags#vent#negative#Dont clown on this post or derail thanks
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