#its like. i like the nuance there. much to chew on | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

qvrcll · 2 years ago

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Hi! So I love your blog and I have a request if you're up for it!

So imagine Vendetta!Leon or ID!Leon with a younger, Rookie D.S.O agent. So the reader is learning about what it takes to be an agent and they are skilled but a little reckless. The reader and Leon end up going on a mission together and something happens to where the reader does something risky/reckless to save Leon and afterwards while Leon is patching them up he's also scolding them for putting themselves into a dangerous situation...

I just thought it was a cute idea and I adore your blog so obviously no pressure and thank you regardless! :)

change

summary: training to be a d.s.o agent has its perks and its fair share of dangers, and who would know that best other than the acclaimed leon s. kennedy? former rookie cop turned myth, you’re troubled as you try to not question your worth to your duty — to him.

warnings: intense violent imagery, d.s.o. agent reader, talk of death / loss, talk of wounds / stabbing, weapons mentioned, angst (comfort i swear!!!!!!!), written with infinite darkness ! leon in mind

a/n: bam stop using deftones songs as titles FAILED. and hello??? ur mind??? revolutionary. but thank u so much for the request!! i did make it more angsty than intended 😭 but happy ending i swear !! this is just a general disclaimer, but i’m trying my best to get as many requests done as possible, but finding myself easily burnt out, so please bare with me if i take some time to get these pieces out!! enjoy :-)

word count: 3.5k+ (help)

You’re well put together — inundated at the seams and bursting in the areas that made you an excelling recruit, something of a common place practice when one gets appointed to a station as alpine as the D.S.O.

It’s gruelling at first. The training, not the people — the people here offer you awkward but veritable grins, cloying pats on the head when you’d surpassed a notable fix in your inculcation, maybe even conversation in places you’d expect hard worn expressions, bumps of the shoulders, a lack of acquiescence for a new comer such as you.

“Turns out, there’s a new donut place opening in the city” someone speaks through a mouthful of food, grinning when admonished by their peer. They look at you with tired yet cordial won eyes, something like a respite in comparison to the gruelling training and pains you endure in staple hours.

You laugh, craning backwards, replying “Really? Wanna go sometime?”

And they teem, sheen with surety as you set a date. The date passes and you’ve got your fridge brimmed with donuts — pastel, sugar coated and chockfull of profuse fillings.

You’re home. You’re staring at your laptop. The device whirrs with effort, the screen fulgent with simulated light as block words stare back at you — MULTIPLE KILLED IN GOVERNMENT ORDAINED PROJECT. SEVERAL INJURED.

The next day, you press your lips together and wait for the space ahead to be filled with a familiar face, some day old blistering talk about donut shops and parties and mandated leaves.

No one comes. You chew your bread in wanton silence.

And your days blur as usual — your attitude is unparalleled. You give yourself the credit for coarsening against such losses, of confidants who offered you their time and remaining nuance of sentience. You don’t, however, congeal like they do. You do not die or recoup.

You move senselessly and so do the days.

It’s several months later, when you’ve gathered yourself in the training room, greased with sweat and vigour, when you meet him.

Leon S. Kennedy, in the flesh.

There’s talk of him in the corridors, rumours of his barely capricious resolve and even more so of his loyalty to the D.S.O. Of his habitual reclusiveness, ordained leaves and near blank appearances.

He’s almost a myth.

Still, you’re real and working and need to cavort around your training till your muscles bleed and chalk up with pain that marks enough effort for the night — you do not want to stay a rookie forever. There’s a insecurity underscored in your brain somewhere, in bright red lines and despite the sweat of your skill in your hands, but you decide to delineate it for tonight. Try to focus on the knotty feel of the compress against your knuckles as you strengthen your feet, begin to get into a stance most up to par, a gracing thought of ‘please don’t break my bones’ pressed into the bean bag before—

“Hello?”

The addition of another voice, besides the earsplitting one in your mind, makes you falter. Makes you lose your footing and touch the target in front of you, rather than skirting it with a hard worn touch — the sight would’ve made you chuckle on a normal day. But today was not normal, it was marked with a accent of irresolutions. So you swivel on your feet, baring your teeth like the caitiff the D.S.O had disillusioned everyone into being. The pretence doesn’t fool anyone, not even yourself, but you give it a try.

And maybe you give yourself some credit, for stoking it up to the myth, the caricature of duty himself, Leon Kennedy. In the flesh, complexion enervated in his well earned stack of muscle, that seemed to be garbed with a leather jacket. Jeans.

How… normal.

You lose tension in your muscles. Ditch the shout in your brows. Abandon the faux, heavy lined bellicosity in your belly for curiosity. Some guilt and embarrassment, too.

“Leon S. Kennedy?” you gasp, feel the air hit your tongue. The room grows a faltering few degrees hotter, and some part of you is convinced you’ll sink into the floor in a matter of minutes.

But Leon offers you one of his complimentary smiles that scream business. His hands are discarded in the wide sinews of his jeans, where they are distracted and nonplussed with the goal of hurting the material with diverted fingers. Yet you linger ahead of him, visibly sweaty and awkward, and it blunders his heart with some peace that you’re biding that same level of awkwardness.

“In the flesh,” he jokes, but the room is too small, too dark to determine tone. To determine the weight of his words or his presence. You still find sentience in you to laugh, snort even, and it makes the air between a lot more genuine, “I’ve come to discuss something here with you.”

“With me?” you croak, not wanting to sound delirious but inevitably falling for the trap — what did the Leon Kennedy want to do with a single recruit that is you? Skilled, yes, but sharing the innumerable roster of missions as him? Not a chance. Still, you grab a towel and a bottle of water, finding rhythm in your step as you talk alongside him to the exit.

Slogging be damned.

He offers a small nod, resigned in a way that made sense to the both of you, “We’re to be assigned in a collaborative project. A mission, if you will,” he opens the door, allows you to step past the threshold first and doesn’t miss the way you flesh out with a terrible blush as you skitter ahead, “Nothing too out of the ordinary for agents like you and me. Just a simple clear up.”

But we are nothing alike, you want to ink the air with the words. And some part of you stiffens as you hear the intractable comparison. Still, you’re curious above all things else and hear him out — not that I can refuse, you add mentally. Scribble out with imaginable red ink.

“When will it be?” you ask, feet jittery and muscles still sheening.

“A month from now” he confirmes. You work to notice the exigent lines of wear and tear on his face, the follow of a stubble beginning to thread against his chin and jaw. The sharpness giving way to kindness in his eyes as he looks at you.

Oh god, he’s looking at you.

“I see,” you say, gaze falling to the gravel and spit of stone as you corner the exit. As the wind hits your skin, you’re pathetically assuming a shiver. You hope Leon isn’t as perceptive as the rumours pin him to be, but you never truly get anywhere with that wish — he places a warm, kind hand on your shoulder, “You’re freezing.”

“Yeah I should probably—“

“Get back?”

“Home, yeah.”

And an awkward, painfully annoying silence courses the space between you two — between you and this acclaimed proxy you barely knew prior to these graceless seconds. The better part of you ushers the thought away and the worse part of you is antsy to prove something — anything.

“Get home safe…” he offers some semblance of a tight lipped smile, again as reclusive as he can get. His back is turned to you, departing, and you’re pulled in the other direction by your feet, when you suddenly turn around.

He’s gone already.

The month beneath his guidance is as you expect it — resilient and tough on the flesh. He manoeuvres you in ways you’d never have begun to correct yourself (“Lift the end of your arms here, instead of down here.”)

He presses feeling and rigour to his praise (“That’s it — you got it. Good job — now give me 20 more.”)

He holds you back from splintering push forwards, from the bridge between you and your apex. Holds a hand against your wet shoulder to shoulder your eagerness (“Woah, woah — don’t get too ahead of yourself.”)

You make it known of your gratefulness. You buy takeout and share it on the stairs. You communicate your worries and walk out free of them.

You also hate him for rubbing raw of your potential. You hate him for the wounded look in his eyes when you falter. You hate him for the itch in his fingers when you push yourself some more.

But you keep that one for the shadows. Don’t make it known. Hide it behind falsity.

You share takeout on the stairs again.

The night before the assignment couldn’t be more gruelling.

You’re welcome by the sheets, yet find no recluse in them, as you twist and turn as the hours come. Your feet are stretched and throbbing with hurt from the range of pushing exercises from the day before, your fingers curling with effort only.

And your head is plagued. Swimming, bathed, with those reticent thoughts. Those same block letters that spoke back to you, flagged the death of thousands you knew from passing glances to remembered conversations.

You turn on your side, try to flush the thought away. But they come back with vigour, with spit.

You knew them.

You’d eaten with them.

You’ll die just the same.

Fuck this.

Your feet find the cold, hard-wood floors immediately. They’re a ridged comparison to the heat of the sheets, but a blistering reminder of what’s to come tomorrow. You pace your apartment, crowd your brain with tasks, busy your hands, till the sun flits past the clouds like routine.

And with your heart in your throat, you ready yourself to the chin, gripping yourself with the promise of doing what you must to euchre death on its own doorstep — both for you and Leon.

The day arrives with a quick start. You’re deployed in a vehicular that is smaller than anticipated, holding your fears in your hands with cupped palms. Leon sits beside you, eyes vacant of anything palpable. You’d talked once, but that’s all of what either of you offered each other up till now — now, it’s you and your fears, cut-throat and fusty, ahead of you.

A thought of your friend passes your mind.

A thought of the donut shop.

A thought of the bottom of your coffee cup.

A thought of the post-mortem images. Of the flesh. The blood. The time. The place.

“Remember,” Leon cards you out of your worst, thoughts crumbling against themselves as you swivel to glance at him, “on me at all times. No sudden moves. Got it?”

He is far more profound here, the spitting image of the rumours materialised into the skin of a battle worn agent — his tone is pebbly, no semblance of that night’s patience in it anymore.

He’s in it for good. And you should be too.

“Got it,” you reply when the seconds flow too far. He nods back, curt and sharp and you want to talk him up. Want to offer your share of strategies. Want to card through the wounds on your arm and how to avoid the bloody things. Want to loop your fingers through half of his experience and not want to set him back.

But it was never that simple. And the ride is just as silent.

Two hours in and you’re stationed against crumbling brick, jagged stone, MK-45 gripped tightly in your hands. The smell of rot, mycelium, abused your lungs. Makes you stagger forward and hold yourself by the seams like flesh on plying bone.

But when you look at Leon, he’s everything but as discomposed as you — his eyebrows are tightly drawn, a shadow to his eyes that wasn’t there prior. There’s a bite in his step, in the way he holds his weapon, in the way he surveys the area.

Get yourself together, you think.

Within minutes, you force yourself to straighten your back, swallow back the burdensome bile stretching against your mouth and prime yourself to the futile smell of the dead at every carrefour you cross.

“Ahead,” Leon speaks and clings to your attention.

You look ahead, noticing an array of groaning zombies clawing at a car that seemed to have initiated its alarm. The smell is amplified by the rub of petrol curdling out of the car (from the repeated clash of the zombies, you’re sure) and you frustrate yourself into not gagging — think ‘fucking hell, I really hate these things.’

“You go to the left, I’ll take the right,” Leon whispers and you realise his motive.

Mutual accomplishment built on the precipice of trust.

Still, he looks at you like he’ll splinter without a response.

Like he relies on this circulation, no matter how damning, how short. His eyes scream ‘don’t you dare do anything stupid’ and you choose to blur it into something nonsensical, a thought of ‘it’s common procedure, a set of instructions he needs to hand feed me’, choosing to ignore the obvious side of things, the bleeding flush of his words, the trepidation nailing every withering seam of his body.

He’d grown to interpret you as more than just a rookie, someone capable of vigour and strength of the winning.

He needed you alive.

You needed him to look at you other than a wounded animal.

You offer him some little nod, feet hurrying up to the fluster of zombies against the few cars gathered there — as you get close, you can see the vegetation cram against the side walk, the stink of flesh against the windshield.

But you’re skilled, not stupid.

Your weapon purrs with warmth in your hand as you pin down the first vier, working your second round of bullets with the other five you’ve attracted— their fractured groans are animalistic, orotund where human capability shouldn’t be.

But you’re twice the work than they ever are.

“Fuck,” you whisper, realising close proximity doesn’t hold up with your choice of weapon — so, working against better judgement, you retrieve your knife by the hilt, scoring it against the reeking flesh of the first two. You quickly gain footing and stab the other two point black in the skull, feeling the vibrating collusion fill the blade.

And you’re close — you feel it. With another plow, the last of them falters to the floor with a wet thump. Blood pools at your feet, curdles against the material of your boot as you curl a hand against your hip in weariness.

And yet, you have half the nerve to concern yourself with Leon.

As you turn, you quickly see that he is struggling. He’s cornered, stuck between a stretch of the building that allows a swift gateway of those creatures to buckle within arm’s reach. And there’s little solace as you learn the fact, as you ready your weapon — you’re aiming before you can think, firing before you can feel.

Leon spots you, as his jaw goes slack.

His voice is swollen with disbelief and you’re sure you catch the words “get out of here!” but you’re moving on the pure pump of your blood, of the stretch of muscle and skill in your body. Two, three, four enemies crumble at the bite of your bullet and your fingers sink against the sting of gunmetal.

Memorise the step of their movements.

Formulate an opening.

Ignore Leon’s snare and his warnings and the way his arms curl around his weapon and the look in his eye and the fickle hope in them and the way they look at you like you’re something wounded.

Ignore the way a grunt sounds in your ear, a pale and cleft palm clinching your shoulder like an orifice — and finally, you realise, Leon had been right.

The zombie is quick to remind you of your mortality — it swings you to the side with it’s astounding asperity, frightens you with the dexterity of its bones as it makes quick work of the distance between you. It’s teeth stitch against cold bone, blood and meat between the gaps.

You gasp out a hoarse cry — your weapon is out of reach and your arm stings with a burn, a swelter. Your leg feels numb and you’re sure you’ve caught it on something, and you’re convinced you’ll be half mauled to death, when suddenly,

“Shit!”

Leon rattles through the zombie towering you, sears it with a knife — it falls atop you like meat and you shove it off with awfully numb hands. You’re barely catching respite as Leon hauls you above his shoulder as he runs to some place else, and the world quickly melts beneath your eyelids.

The next time you’re conscious, it’s much quieter.

There’s a dripping noise from your right — you try to play with that recurring sound till you’ve figured your bearings, but the throb in your head is searing. Your leg jumps with a pain so awful you choke a cry when you’re all opened eyed and slack jaw, and you catch sight of Leon in front of you, balancing your leg atop his lap for inspection.

“L-Leon?” you gasp, feel the burn of your throat. You’ve said nothing but he quickly hands you a water bottle, and you allow yourself the contents almost immediately — “Where are we…?”

“A few ways off the target location. Recuperating,” he answers, too quick, too harsh. You wince, both from his demeanour and the growing image of your maimed leg — the skin is dented with much blood, the flesh peeling apart with ease and the pain hits you like a train. His fingers are trembling and spat with your blood, moseying around the quiver of the wound.

And you can’t figure out where your pain ends and where his anger begins.

For one, there’s some grip to his movement, in the way he bandages the broken flesh of your leg. The way he swats your hand away when you go to dictate the amount of hurt it would bring.

Only then does he look up and your breath hitches — his eyes are red rimmed, mouth set like hard stone in a frown and his jaw sharp, blistering to a furious degree.

“I’m sorry—“

“Are you? Because you would’ve been dead without me having been there” he spits out, lashing against your apologetic words. You press your lips together, a bitter feeling fermenting in every space your framework can produce.

“I said I’m sorry Leon.”

“Will that fix your wound?” He grates and his voice sounds like a threat. It worries you. It angers you. Its rends you like glass, cuts you like a skiver.

“Maybe if you didn’t look at me like a fucking wounded animal, I would quit taking my chances at dying” you force out, tone through clattering teeth when his fingers pause over that delicate and awfully repulsive spot on your leg.

“What?”

“Oh, please don’t play pretend with me Leon,” it’s your turn to hit the brakes, “It’s that look you give me — like I’m some backwater D.S.O rookie here to drag you through glass. Like—Like I’m here to get myself killed.”

You pause, breath cut short with an unsatisfactory cry as you throw your head back from the gushing pain from the wound. You crack open a weary eye to spot his movements have resumed, but his jaw is quivering, jagged, his eyes unfocused and his hair in his face.

Shit, shit, shit — I’ve really done it now.

“Wait, Leon—“

“Is that what you think this is?”

You blink — his fingers are on the ground beside your hips, his eyes flooded with disbelief. Much like earlier, only this time, it’s counterpart being woe instead of anger of disappointment. He lifts his head, cradles the anguish in his eyes with a tattered sigh and you realise, oh. You had it all wrong.

“That you’re just some agent I don’t care about?” he’s close, somehow, “that—that I care for you out of duty?” closer, now, with his breath on your neck, on your face, in your ear, “That I don’t want you gone so soon because I only tolerate you? Not because—I like you?”

Your anger drops its futile act.

“What?” you whisper, because you’re so beguiled that it’s a trick. A trick from the pump of adrenaline in you, from the fear. The sweat. But he’s looking into you, at you, and his stare is not sympathetic. It stinks of love and admiration and truth and some close call of fear.

“I’m saying that I like you.”

There’s a few moments of clouded breath. You’ve never done this before — never held this song and dance of emotion between another and certainly not at a time like this, but god, Leon looks at you like you’re something to be worshipped, not admonished like the wounded thing that you are.

He looks at you like hope.

Like love and love and love.

And you’ve never appreciated the stench of rot on you or another, and you’ve never appreciated distractions. But the burn of his lips against yours is delicious and swirling with something addictive when you meet him with nothing but rigour — he kisses you back like he’s meant to, like he’s going to run out of you if he doesn’t.

And when you pull away, groaning as your leg spasms with hurt, you smile at him gently, curve a laugh from your overworked lungs.

“Buy me dinner first, Kennedy.”

“Kennedy?”

“Would you prefer Scott?”

“God, you’re awful.”

#leon kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy x reader #leon x reader #resident evil x reader #resident evil x you #leon scott kennedy x reader #leon kennedy drabble #leon kennedy fic

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archivalofsins · 8 days ago

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Hiya! I've been really enjoying your posts for the last year. I would spend my mornings or afternoons' reading over so much of what you've written, though I don't like stuff cause I was worried it would be too spammy. I love sm the different perspectives on Prisoners I've seen through your work, love how you look at Yuno's and Fuuta's crimes, your stuff with Kazui and how you've approached (my fav) Mahiru's crime. Also more general, dissociation gang, looking at the split of prisoners (oh no accident vs active killing) I'm baffled at how little notes you have on some of your posts when I've found them very insightful. Also love how you colour-code text, very neat and makes long posts easier to read! Before encountering your blog I just kind of looked at youtube comments for help understanding the prisoners' crimes, but your analyses are so much more concise and interesting.

apologies if this is weird, thank you sm for all you do!

Firstly, I’d like to say thank you! It makes me happier than anyone could ever know to be told in such detail how much you’ve enjoyed my work and for how long. I especially appreciate the detail you’ve gone into. I love hearing the points that people like about my work and it’s kind of a walk down memory lane to read in a way.

That's why I want to take this time to- I also wanted to highlight some of the other people that have added so much of their own time and personal flair to the Milgram community on Tumblr!

7-4-N

Not a creature, not a specimen, not a being. Do not refer to this existence at all but if you really must Tsumi or 74 can work well enough. Just know your social constructs won’t stick. This being doesn’t adhere to such things. After all happy or sad why decide. One of many fans of Yuno Kashiki. This blogger puts on full display the many social boxes society creates and tries fit the prisoners into. Sometimes even the ones the prisoners try to fit themselves into as well.

Characterization analysis and art mix together to create a truly unique experience-

Theory on what Amane's cult is based on

I wrote something on the post itself but this was really good! I enjoyed reading it a lot for personal reasons. It presents the religions in a very nuanced and unbiased way without sugarcoating anything. Ultimately a very nice collaborative effort that gives a lot to chew on.

Yuno is a "side/supporting character" post

Tsumi is also in charge of their very own Milgram- Tsumigram! Remember what Jackalope said,

"Don't go messing up my (or other people's) Milgrams!"

Tsumi sometimes translates analysis into other languages and has hosted some really fun fandom events. 74 has always tried to create an environment where everyone is able to feel comfortable and have fun together. In a way it’s no surprise Tsumigram is the way it is.

Its focus on communication and the connections between people showcases 74’s willingness to put forth the effort to understand others. Even when things aren't going smoothly. Even more so to the fear and vulnerability that can be created through knowing and being known by someone else. Along with the worry of what one knows about someone becoming obsolete due to that person changing and growing as all people do.

Tsumi understands the problems that can come about when communicating.

How one can try their best and still end up being scorned, ridiculed, misunderstood, or misinterpreted. Recognizing those sorts of things are just as much a part of life as anything else and can give one the freedom to try simply for the sake of trying. Not because it will led to a positive outcome. Sometimes we can't please everyone. People will butt heads.

That’s natural.

None of us can avoid doing things we can't take back, things others may never be able to forgive us for, or understand. Even so that doesn’t change what we as individuals are capable of. Tsumi showed that all it took for fun things to happen was taking that first step and asking if anyone would like to do something together.

Because if no one ever asks then no one can get an answer.

It’s difficult to put oneself out there in such a way to so many people. It could go wrong and when things go wrong as they so often are inclined to- One may feel like they should stop putting themselves out there all together.

That closing off is a good answer. Possibly the best answer one can see in that moment. I know I’ve felt that way. That I’ve backed down, secluded myself, and hid away my opinions while avoiding stressors. It's easy to say to others or even oneself get back on the horse and keep trying.

Yet the truth is time to on one's own is important and can be productive. It can give us the time we need to process the experiences we’ve had recently and collect our thoughts. Then when one is ready that person can come back far better than when they left. Even as true as that is, it’s still important to take caution and not worry about bringing the best of ourselves in everything we do.

Because this idea that we have to meet everyone at our very best can be isolating and tiresome. Sometimes even though it may be hard to believe just showing up is enough. Just a small greeting is enough. It's important to recognize that what we may do that we view as trivial could be everything to someone else.

Tsumi shows me through persistence and compassion that even the tiniest gestures can be cause for celebration.

That things don’t have be grand to matter. No one has to overheat to feel love or freeze to feel loneliness. That both those things make up warmth. That said warmth can be comforting and disgusting all at once. Through Tsumi's presence I’ve gotten to learn the value of multitudes again. Instead of just being interested in the same old thing.

Which I greatly appreciate and believe many others could too.

amugoffandoms

With a mug full of passion and the drive to see what they start through this fandom regular probably needs little introduction. Yet, for those who don’t know I’ll give it my best shot. Stating she’s the number one Yuno fan would be an understatement. I’d need a new title entirely to explain her earnest affection towards one of the most drastically overlooked and prone to oversimplification characters within this series.

Man, Mug and Tsumi both have it tough- Having a fave that’s critically underrated... That’s looked at as an easy open and shut case. Regardless, Mug through their art, writing, and ever-present enthusiasm manages to highlight the subtleties of Yuno’s characterization.

Love Bullet Yuno, Tear Drop redraw, Rookie Yuno

The use of childhood games/questions in Yuno's songs

Yuno looking unusually cold on her second trial cd cover

Mortuus ES, Ergo Ego Mortuus Sum, Fell and Found Out

Outside of taking an interest in all things Yuno- Mug draws, does analysis, and writes fanfiction.

Cyberpunk Dead Boy Fuuta

The Machiavellian concept and how it can apply to Milgram

Ace of Spades and how it foreshadows Hinako's fate

Sing Your Sins!, Press Rewind

They’re even the host of her very own milgram Mugram. Admittedly all of the kids there are troublemakers. A rather eccentric bunch but none of them seem to have done much particularly bad. A lot of what they do seems to be related to their work or how they make a living in general (if they can’t call it work). Though those could just be the characters I decided to focus on. I do find that pattern interesting though. Fan Milgrams are really good at homing in on specific societal issues.

Their writing has a good grasp of imagery. Usually setting up scenes in a way that makes it easier for readers to visualize. When it comes to her art their expression work has great emotional depth conveying feelings in a direct manner.

coffee-without-anesthetics

No painkillers and all energy!

Itha has been around in the community for what feels like before I was here, but I’m actually its senior by a year. Maybe I’ve been here too long… Let’s not dwell on that! I don’t remember a time when it wasn’t here or exactly when it showed up. Giving it this very ageless entity feel that is honestly goals.

Sometimes I just want to phase into existence and out too!

Still just because not many were there to witness its first light doesn’t mean this star burns any less! Its a regular within the fandom that needs very little introduction at this point. If it isn’t talking about Lies of P it can be found just actually blogging generally- Seeing anything come across my dash with that familiar Es icon is a breath of fresh air for me. (Though its icon has changed now.)

Now hold on you didn’t think that was all-

It does translations and art! Translating fanfics from English to Polish or French with the creator’s permission. Well, if you ever feel like translating any of my Milgram ones you’ve got my permission for that. Though… that would quite an undertaking considering how much I write, hm. Ah- This isn’t about that right now… Sorry.

Its also into Arcane, House MD, The Magnus Archives, Mathematics- and Linguistics & Music. Here’s hoping Milgram and it remain a match made in heaven regardless of how hellish thing get~

DoctorBunny

Ahnnnn- What’s up doc? Now don’t let the name fool you this dude is a Haruka fan- and that diagnosis is lifelong. He’s also not a doctor yet! Curses you to more college- I’m joking, I’m joking! This is another milgram fandom regular who’s dabbled in a little bit of everything.

Art, analysis, translations, documentation- You name it he’s probably done it!

And done it well at that,

DoctorBunny is inquisitive, considerate, and welcoming to his peers in any fandom and anyone within this fandom as well. Always looking for a way to not only enjoy himself but make sure those around him are enjoying their selves too.

Milgram Earphone Translation

Milgram Hallucination Booklet Translation PT1

Milgram x Karatez Interrogation Questions

He’s been a mod on Milgram servers, done real time quick translations of the material, and just generally been a joy to get to know through this series. While he has his biases- He’s not afraid to interrogate them and look at things from different angles.

His thirst for knowledge has created space around him for the opinions of others while still holding consideration towards his own thoughts. He knows that sometimes leaving space for the idea that one’s interpretation may be wrong is not only a reasonable thing to do but the first step to figuring out what may be right. He is one of the people I discuss my posts with in advance. As well as discuss how I engage with media in general with.

Pretty daily at this point, actually. I hope my stubborn nature isn’t getting grating.

He once explained to me that because my wording can come off so adamant and certain in my convictions it can feel a bit overwhelming. Some may think that’s a bad thing but to me I thought it was a really great observation. It made me recognize that I do get incredibly caught up in my beliefs and am prone to speaking as though what I believe is the one obvious truth of the matter.

I can come off as really confident in my convictions because when I see something one way I can become blinded to the other ways it can be. Sometimes I do believe in my reading comprehension too much and that can be limiting. It can be off-putting. So, I’m glad I found a friend who can recognize and not get annoyed by that habit of mine when it comes to discussing media.

Especially since I can be a fast-paced talker and texter when super invested in something.

So, Bunny’s more relaxed and down to earth pace along with straightforward nature of being able to just simply go that isn’t what I meant I meant x. Is incredibly grounding. He brings that measured analysis and grounding personality into the fandom spaces he occupies through he’s leveled responses to media and willingness to meet his peers where they’re at. Rarely engaging with the points of others in bad faith but not letting himself be barreled over either. He's willing to hold space for others but will never compromise on what he believes fully is right.

On top of that he knows how to ask for help and when to be skeptical of what’s being presented and how something is being presented. Ultimately having internet and media literacy that far surpasses my own at times. This makes him an amazing person to have in any fandom and as a friend in general. Sometimes I get up in arms about something I’ve seen online because yes I can be reactionary and at those times I’ve gone off complaining about it and Bunny has more often than not managed to show me a new perspective I’ve never considered before.

It’s important to have people like that who can level you out and understand where you’re coming from especially in fandom a space that thrives off of eliciting a reaction at times.

His art style is dreamy having a lovely display of colors and lighting.

Haruka in pyjamas

When it comes to art he’s very versatile with a good understanding of lining, form, and style. Allowing for an astounding deal of variety between his pieces. His appreciation for drawing as a creative form is fully displayed in every piece he’s made. Though I think the best part is regardless of the drawing there always seems to be a bit of fun put into it!

Good-beans/ Good-beansdraws

Now this is a fandom regular that should need no introductions. She’s the guard of milgramblrgram and done it well at that! Not one person has died or gotten irrecoverably injured and that’s all due to her caring, compassionate, but fair guidance.

Balancing Mahiru’s bleeding heart with Kotoko’s drive for fairness.

She’s created an environment for a good majority of milgramblr to hone their talents and indulge their interests amongst peers with the same passion as themselves. It should be no surprise that this user inspires me every day to turn my words into action.

So, when I say it’s up to us to create a community worth being in those words don’t just sit there empty and I instead do things that highlight the talents and intricacies of the people who make this fandom the place it is for at times the better and the worst.

Because that’s what Milgram is about.

Taking the good, the bad, and ourselves all into consideration and looking for the best path forward together. It’s about realizing that in this life we won’t only see things we agree with, the things we think may not always be right, there are biases in us all that need unpacking and questioning.

Good-beans gives creatives in this fandom a space where they can explore these things within themselves through their many talents.

In everthing she does- She highlights what it means to form community out of fandom in every fandom that’s lucky to have her while still making space for herself and her own feelings about the works she enjoys. Being sure to share her views on the characters through her own headcanons and giving feedback on the writing and headcanons of others.

On top of that she creates a good deal of fanworks. Art and writing. Good-beans art reminds me a lot of graphic novels and western comics. Examples off the top of my head would be Stephen McCranie’s Space Boy, Eric Anthony Glover’s & Arielle Jovellanos’ Black Star, and W.I.T.C.H.

Mahiru Butcher's Vanity

Futa Indulgent Top 3 Redraw

If art isn’t your thing which in this age I seriously doubt it- But you know what they say a picture's worth a thousand words. I personally think that’s undercutting the value of words though. Well, that’s when it’s taken literally it’s more of a figurative statement implying that what a picture does all by itself would take a thousand words to describe in every detail if not more. So, if a pictures worth a thousand words then a hundred thousand words equate to one picture- Again if we’re taking it in the literal sense.

What I’m saying is if you’re looking for imagery then she’s got the words for that too. Sometimes all an artists needs is for a writer to create just the right words to show them something they never could imagine otherwise!

Lights, Camera, Sing Your Sins (A Milgram actor au where the audience gets to see the innerworkings of Milgram!)

So Morning Rise to Light Us (How do you spend your mornings. The time of day where it feels like no one else around. The prelude to everything else you'll do that- We hardly ever think about it but having a morning routine in Milgram must be hard, right? Some people can't handle one roommate let alone nine. This fic goes over the prisoners morning routines.)

himawari-candyy

Let’s keep this simple the way it always should’ve been.

Death, murder, direct, indirect, intentional or unintentional- The meaning of life after loss. Who gives a damn about any of that wax poetically elsewhere. Let’s call a spade a spade. No need to complicate matters.

Let’s all just take a breather and sit with the facts.

There’s a victim here, a life that could’ve been spared. Compared to that undeniable fact do the justifications of the living really matter? Do they matter enough to overshadow the life lost, what it was, what it could have been?

I mean those justifications can only be given because they’re still standing. All of them still have a life to live, something to go back, things to look forward to. In that sense the prisoners have been in the limelight far too long and many fans seem to agree-

Well, at least the number one Hinako fan does!

This girl knows in her heart that Hinako deserved better in every way! In the narrative, in life, and especially in screentime. So many prisoners have pleaded with the audience to think about their victims. *cough* *cough* Shidou trial one voice drama.

Eh-hem sorry that was weird.

Himawari-candy heard that plea and said ya know who deserves that sort of thought Hinako! Because- Damn it, looking at Shidou’s victims on an individual level is impossible even for him.

Q.02 What do you think of your victim?

Shidou: I don’t know who in particular you’re referring to.

Seriously people might just have to ask this man trial three what he thought of his patients to narrow things down. So, what the hell are fans supposed to do? Just make them up think of the families he hasn’t even bothered to mention other than offhandedly?

Every individual that has been notably displayed as a victim within the characters’ stories has fans and detractors just like the main cast. Taking a minute to put ourselves in the victims’ shoes can never hurt and can allow people to get a look at the whole situation. Let alone any member of this audience. We could all do with a little back to basic by asking ourselves what would we do in the victims' circumstances.

Because let's be honest more often than not we're putting ourselves in the position of the prisoners not the victims. Everyone wants to be the misunderstood one who stood up against an earthly injustice or evil but never the victim of someone who saw wrong where there was none. We all wanna be the tragic hero nobody wants to be just another person in the pile of bodies the tragic hero racks up though. No one wants to be the one killed for telling this tragic hero they may have strayed into evil or getting in their way.

People tend to want to be the one that lived. That's why it's so easy to agree with the prisoners sometimes. I mean who else is their to agree with. To the victor goes the spoils. Once the other party is dead the the one living can tell whatever story they want. The worse the victim could do if their grudge is heavy enough is haunt them. Most people that do these things are more afraid of being haunted than being caught for a reason.

So-

Take a walk down this alternative path covered with cute art and her bubbly disarming sociability. Unlike my more morbid and pragmatic speech her casualness makes this line of interrogation far more welcoming. She reblogs fan art others have made as well.

Her own art has a nostalgic look to it akin to a children’s book making the most unsettling things have a sparkle of familiarity and warmth.

Happy Valentines Day

A Heart like A Birds

Always a pleasure to see it making the rounds. Oh yeah, she’s a fan of Alien Stage too! I wonder who her favorites are?

Kyanako

Huh- what’s that sound? Mourning bells- Now, who on earth would… Eh- Ah, of course. Hey, now- Don’t fault the execution(s). Things ending (like lives) is what gives them meaning after all! Well-known for her inclination towards angst and as one of Amane Momose’s biggest fans/defenders.

Kyanako has a habit of exploring the good, the bad, and the angsty-

Order of Attack Banner

Order of Attack

Given her interests in Danganronpa, Your Turn to Die, as well as Long Live the Queen. She's definitely no stranger to dead ends. Hmm... Long Live the Queen, huh? I wonder if she could put some focus into Mu for a little bit to fling her in a Long Live the Queen au? Of course, Mu wouldn’t do the lumen route though.

When she’s not making the fandom a bit more lively with her presence Kyanako can be found enjoying her many ocs, appreciating and making music, and making some really cute clothes for her Milgram plushies.

She’s shown the prisoners hell and heaven alike.

The focus she puts into the interpersonal relationships between them before the collapse makes it all the more shocking when things finally come to their inevitable conclusion.

Conversations

Direct, prudent, and always welcoming she’s a joy to have in any fandom environment- But! Watch out just like Amane she gives as good as she gets.

6 MILLION VIEWS

Purge March Usurps MeMe

As one of the milgramblrgram prisoners she’s known for teaming up with others behind the scenes and sneak attacks galore- But; it’s all in good fun!

Huh, did any of you know about all the multitalented individuals in the fandom? Well, of course you did you’re all here as well! All of you are more here than I am. It must get daunting. It’s easy to get self-conscious when surrounded by talent on all ends.

Even easier to talk oneself out of trying but it’s important to remember that no one can provide your voice but you. It’s something wholly unique to yourself and at times that can be scary and sometimes you won’t always agree with or get along with others because of that uniqueness.

Hey, but it’s not scary- you know that right? It can’t be scary because it’s love! Putting our unique visions and feelings out there in the way that best represents and is most comfortable for us as individuals is the biggest form of self-love one can commit to. It’s something that everyone within this and any fandom chooses to do every day. Hitting those creative walls over and over feeling overlooked that’s an experience any artist is used to feeling be it with their original works or fanworks.

It's something every Milgram fan has become acquainted with due to the nature of the series itself. It incentivizes putting yourself out there in ways that one may have never done before otherwise. Kyanako has shown me in the way that she conducts herself what it means to be a fan of anything really. How being a fan isn’t about gatekeeping or knowing the one true reading it’s about allowing your passion for something to drive you and your interests to paths you may not have trodden otherwise.

Being a fan of something should invite a person to do things they’ve never done before. To look at something in new and interesting ways. It’s something that is more for the individual than the group at times. Kyanako reminds me that liking something quietly doesn’t diminish how much it’s liked. Through her plethora of interests outside of Milgram and her willingness to always look at something new.

I think taking a moment to remember that could be so comforting to a lot of people here just as it was for me.

Linabirb

It’s all systems go when this Amane and Mahiru fan arrives to the scene! This emperor of edits can do it all- Icons, stimboards, layouts for twitter and tumblr! If you can imagine it they can edit it- Just follow the rules alright?

Milgram EEO Collaboration Icons

Milgram Hallucination Icons

You do know what happens to rule breakers- Of course you do!

Their other main interests include Vocaloid, Project Sekai, Twisted Wonderland, and hoyoverse games! Whoa- hang on this little lady does chainsaw man edits too… I- I have something I need to think about.

Also the proud owner of a Milgram! Linagram-

Linagram in the style of the Second Anniversary Milgram Art

Maristelina

Ah, this guy- I don’t know much about them. Wait now; hold on! Just because I don’t know much doesn’t diminish any of her many contributions to this fandom. I’ve seen them in passing often and I really like the one post they did on Harrow with translations of the newspapers.

That definitely gave me a lot to chew on. Oh yeah and there was the second link which is my personal favorite of theirs.

She does art, translations, and a few theories here and there.

Milgram Portal Timeline Masterpost

Trial 1 Song of the Prisoners

One could say he was a little integral for the more than two alter Mikoto theory. Some may know their name from the posts they made on that back in the day.

But Gunsli- I thought you didn’t like that whole line of questioning, and I still don’t. Please don’t get it twisted. Then why- Hold on, hold on. I like information whether that information is contrary to what I know, believe I know, or personally feel is the case does not matter. I treat most information neutrally.

If there’s a way it can make sense I will fucking look for that way.

I’ll walk that bridge whether its with someone else or by myself I have walked that bridge. Even though I can say I don’t see it. Some good points are made within a good deal of those posts, and they’ve undoubtedly contributed to this space.

Now I’m not singling Maristelina out by any means there are more people on this list that discuss this idea and present it through art. Like it is not personal I am just giving credit where credit is due. They provided a lot of information in regards to this that’s worthy of respect. Information I’m certain has contributed to many people’s enjoyment of this series and that character.

That’s something commendable. I will say I feel more depth could’ve been gone into in some of them and that it fell into a lot of the trappings that those conversations tend to.

Still for all their time spent doing what at times can be incredibly thankless work, his genuine love of the series, her immense persistence in displaying that love even when life starts being life. Maristelina without a doubt deserves many thanks from this fandom and me personally for always showing me something new and impressive.

Also like I said they make art as well- I really like the ways they use lighting it’s super comforting and can give off this fluffy feel at times that I’m partial to.

meowkusunoki

Some may know this user from its Milgram memes. Maybe even his enjoyment of the Evillious Chronicles which was the first thing to come to Star’s mind when she saw the name. Personally, since I am not in the tag often this is the first time I’ve been acquainted with a good few of the people on this list works.

I tend to stick to my little section, my little things, and not branch out too much.

So, I mostly know them as the creator of Dollgram,

First Trial Commencement Notice

An ocmilgram with some very good character amvs and art.

Right now, I would have to say my favorite character is Tadashi just because of how blatantly suspicious she is. She seems to be the sort of person who’s straight forward about their shortcomings despite trying to remain vague.

Very blunt which I like. The character dialogue is organic but feels like it could be flushed out more. The conversations are really engaging and the characterization shines through well. It gives off a feeling of idle chitchat well. I’d recommend checking it out. I had a lot of fun reading it.

Milk-ly

It’s your turn to- Create! If you’re reading all my ramblings, then I got no doubt you may enjoy hers as well! Always happy to start or contribute to a train of thought- if you’re looking to hammer out an idea this girl is the sort to start hitting out the dents with you!

Sweet and to the point she focuses on evening out the foundation of any idea. Fandom is a space where its quite easy to fall into a pattern of dismissing the opinions of others or getting defensive when someone else’s thoughts contradict your own beliefs.

Hell, not even in just in fandom in life it can be very difficult to allow new perspectives in.

Kotoko and Futa's connection to witch trials and werewolf trials

What one believes to be common can be completely foreign to another. Because at the end of the day we’re all living lives that will for better or worse be independent of anyone other than ourselves. So, it’s nice to have someone who’s willing to take a moment to make space for your ideas and discuss them.

For me that’s one of my favorite things even when people disagree with what I believe. Such as the Kazui situation. At the time it felt like a dogpile but I was really excited to hear everyone’s thoughts on it. The timing was simply not the most ideal with life stuff going on. It really gave me a lot to think about when it came to the depictions of instruments in art.

Plus, I got to have a lot of fun looking up instruments and trying to disprove myself in a way. But in hindsight I was pretty whiny heh-heh though I was happy to talk to the person about it and enjoyed her genuineness. That experience reminded me that well people aren’t our worst assumptions and viewing things differently from each other is and should be enriching not degrading or disparaging.

Milk-ly is someone I’ve enjoyed seeing in the fandom because she’s a relaxing presence and tries to give everyone a fair shake. I respect that a lot. Especially when I recognize my own immatureness at times when it comes to presenting myself and my own views.

I can’t help but be impressed by her.

Regardless of how turbulent online spaces can be she’s been a chill presence all while providing sweet art and good laughs!

Mikoto art and memes

Any fandom is lucky to have someone like her in it. She’s into Your Turn to Die as well maybe one day I’ll go back and do that rhythm game.

Monopoisonous

Poison can be sweet in small doses. Don’t worry, don’t worry- Things haven’t reached the point of lethality yet. Known for their expert use of colors and grasp of anatomy- It’s a bit scary when this resident Mikoto fan goes all out, right?

Yuno art

Mikoto art

It’s an overwhelmingly unique style that blends realism and animation influences together in all the right ways. Hopefully they don’t end up overdosing on Mikoto content before making more~

I wanted to say more so I came back and said more! It's rather clear that Monopoisonous has a solid sense of artistry. It can be easy to take the art at face value simply because of how good it is. To me it comes off as perfectly balanced at times. The structure leans more into realism with a good understanding of the human form.

The anatomy, use of colors, and shading immediately make the art stand out their's to me whenever I see it. They're also a Kagepro and Project Sekai fan. I really liked their Mikoto Additional Memory art. I wish I could say more but I truly am at a loss for words.

Mulling-over-milgram

Casually punctual this Milgram focused blogger analyzes, draws and has even created their very own Milgram- Chromogram!

Squares

Where it’s up to the reader to discern what the prisoners have done through a series of websites. A beautiful combination of graphic design, storytelling, and the old fashion website formats come together masterfully in this new prison.

Except there’s a twist in order to move forward here one party must be found guilty. Whomever the majority of guards find innocent will be innocent and the person who fails to meet the majority’s expectations will be guilty by default.

It’s a bit of a strange balancing act where one party needs to look bad for the other to appear good.

I don’t know how well it will turn out though. Some people have more of an advantage than others going off of the first pair on trial. It’d be very easy for some to view one party as helpless to their circumstances and the other as an instigator or complicit.

I’d be surprised if the verdict there is even close. Though maybe others would disagree. Take a look at it for yourselves and come to your own conclusion. Regardless of the conclusion one ends up drawing it’s a hell of an experience all the same.

Their art style is very reminiscent to some old school visual novels. Well, at least to me it’s giving off that sort of vibe. It really adds to the atmosphere of their Milgram. Oh yeah- In general they seem to have structured way of presenting their thoughts online that sometimes breaks into a more casual tone. They tend to elaborate in a grammatically correct way hence the casually punctual.

It was more about punctuation than timing ha…bad joke, huh?

Alright, alright I get it fandom is filled with a lot of talented visual artists and people who can hold a writing utensil better than I can. The amount of art people have access to at the swipe of a finger can feel daunting. One might just figure it’s easier to just find a singular artist to stick to and call it a day.

Ya, know like how some may enjoy the illusion of choice more than the actual ability to choose.

An abundance of artists in any area is a good problem to have. It can foster variety and ingenuity when engaged with in good conscience. It’s easy to take visual art for granted when we’re all exposed to it so often. Even those who create can fall into the trap of comparisons and end up discouraging themselves. But-

Art appreciation is a skill one must hone for themselves not only as a creator but as a viewer. It’s easy to look at a piece and stay ignorant of the process it took to get there.

It's easy to like something in passing but much more difficult to enjoy something wholeheartedly without pause and show that for all to see. The milgram fandom is lucky to have visual artists from around the globe who won’t hesitate to make their appreciation of the series known through their works.

But Gunsli it’s soooo much art it’s so many links- what a modern society problem to have back in Kazui’s day they didn’t have art. Why do you think colonizers stole so much of it? It was hard out there they had to find that shit in caves and call it history.

“I can’t, I can’t take it anymore.”

Aw come on don’t be that way. The best sort of person is the type who can tell someone every little reason they like something. What have none of you ever looked at a piece of art and gone more than wow nice. Instead said something like the use of colors is amazing, it gives off the feeling of a lazy afternoon, the anatomy gives off a loose unimpeded feeling, the rigid use of lines adds to the constricted atmosphere.

Come on go a little further why don’t you- Like our next artist!

Nomeniko

Now here’s a person that knows how appreciate art just as much as they make it!

Not only do they create amazing works but he also reblogs a good deal of art from others. She’s art appreciation embodied- It’s pretty amazing to be someone who not only creates but can see the value and beauty in the creations around them. People tend to forget that before creating comes appreciating- Ah, there’s so many works I’ve appreciated in my short life and I’m looking to enjoy many more.

Amane's birthday conversation (2024)

Mikoto system art

When it comes to posting he's got a pretty lax cadence that matches the casualness of their blog well. As for their art this is another nostalgic homerun being a bit reminiscent of FLCL and OFF. The emphasis of their art comes through in the forms with stunning gestures that manages to display movement and feel in a way that can be striking or comforting depending on the overall tone of the piece.

All that to say it’s really good. Sorry, I look at a lot of art but my descriptors can be quite lame- Plus I can compare a lot. I hope that’s not offensive to anyone’s efforts.

Polarmary

This person is never Vi-ing for anyone’s attention. Straight forward and earnest when it comes to her interests, she can be found displaying her enjoyment of Milgram, Arcane, and Kotoko in particular. With occasional post about their day to day here as well. She’s got an style that’s well to put it bluntly they’ve got a range. With a good understanding of form and lighting their art can go from cold and stoic to warm and fluffy.

Deep Cover Kotoko

Girls night

My personal favorites are their animal drawings, the one of the hippo is very cute. Oh then there’s the one with the girls having a sleep over- Plus, the one where Kotoko just adopts a wolf cub. Personally, I think if she just did that she wouldn’t be here but that’s neither here or there. (Give Kotoko and Futa emotional support pets. It’s always correct.)

Fun fact my favorites from Arcane are Jinx and Ekko.

I find this fact fun mostly because I think the reputation I’ve garnered from being in the Milgram fandom is people assuming that I just hate girls and are harsh on them for no real reason. Sometimes all while assuming my gender. My friends find this understanding very funny given what I tend to let slide- and their impression is I am,

Too naïve.

Too forgiving.

Usually, I’m taking Milgram so seriously or being critical as some may see it because that’s how I engage with and enjoy engaging with media. Milgram just happens to invite that sort of scrutiny. I’m pleasantly surprised to see so many people in this fandom are also into Arcane.

Purgemarchlockdown

Are you locked in yet? Well; are you locked in yet?

I can't hear you- Because this is a prewritten text interaction, and I literally cannot hear you and you can’t hear me. Huh I wonder what it sounds like when each of you is reading this internally what type of voice is given to me- Well that’s not important the fact is your eyes are on it and that means you're still reading.

I bet some of you may be wondering what exactly are you trying to sell us on here Gunsli?

What are you trying to accomplish through propping up these other fans. That’s exactly the thing I’m trying to accomplish though. Propping up fans. The one's that have made this environment what it is outside of myself. The people that elevate other people’s perspectives to make something greater than the sum of its parts.

The Milgram staff tries its best to give attention to its fans regardless of where they’re from. Yet, the truth is there are still barriers between the staff in their global audience. Their efforts to include overseas fans with everything is commendable. However, I want people to know there are other things they can do to show appreciation not only towards the pieces of media they may enjoy but the people they enjoy those things with.

It doesn't have to be like this.

Anyone can show their appreciation of other fans in ways that are completely unique to them. There are so many examples. Hosting games, having holiday events, art trades… Those are all things fans have hosted to make this experience more fun for everyone here. Even just sending a few kind words like the ones I received can mean so much.

To quote a certain piece of media “Without love, it cannot be seen”.

There's no one that knows this better than Purgemarchlockdown. It understands the weight of words more than most here. It knows that words have power. That a promise is a promise and that’s it. Generally referred to by Nott it has shown me the importance of not only recognizing the weight of your own words but the weight of the words the people around me use as well.

That one can recognize intent and impact simultaneously.

Regardless of what you’re interested in there’s a mindset specific to you and you alone that only entered this world when you did. Thinking on one’s own, liking, disliking to the point of tunnel vision- Those conversations, disagreements, and thoughts only you can have. The limits in ourselves only we can see.

That’s the thing we all bring to the table in any situation.

So,being able to take a step back and recognize one’s own intent in comparison to the impact one may have had. It’s important. Because no one can ever guess how someone else will take them. Everyone wants to be having fun but they can never really tell the point where that fun has become at someone else’s expense.

It’s easy to tote around values one never has to follow through on.

Easy to type a few simple words about how one doesn’t have to forgive their abusers or be near them, intrusive thoughts don’t define a person, promote one’s self as a safe space for people of color and the marginalized. Claim solidarity when all one wants is the accolades from seeming progressive for appearing kind. But it’s important to be able to wade through the bullshit and see how the people that one shares a space with actually treat marginalized individuals, how they respond to people they claim they’re a safe space for whether those people disagree with them or not, where’s their line at do they care about everyone or only those who agree with them.

How solid is our compassion, how firm are these things we think should be the natural course of things. Do we stand on it when we say it’s harder to be kind than it is to be cruel or when things get hard do we commit to the easy way. Mercy, kindness, active listening and empathy isn’t easy- Sin isn’t easy.

The impact we all have on the people around us isn’t easy.

At a point I had to learn I needed to stop holding my intent in higher regard than my impact. I had to look at how I responded to things and extend mercy to myself for the ways I fall short my own expectations and think about how what I do impacts others. All while understanding that doesn’t mean the intent doesn’t matter anymore.

Yet, the one thing remains true.

If one spends all their life worrying about how they’ll be taken, if something is too much or too little, if they should check in on someone that’s having a hard time or not because of how appropriate they think it may be…

No one gets help from that. No one benefits from someone squashing their own concerns.

Bravery to me is the ability to say I see someone is having a hard time and though it may make life a little more difficult for me or my attempts may be spurned I want to check if they’re okay. At the expense of my ego, even if I may not get answer, I want them to know how I feel and how even if briefly they made my life better.

It takes a lot of courage to put the ball in someone else’s court.

Just let go of control of a situation and meet someone where they are and hope they meet you back. Now you may be thinking,

“Gunsli what does that have to do with fandom- or the Milgram fandom specifically.”

A lot. It has a lot to do with fandom in general and the Milgram fandom. Yamanaka wrote these characters with the intent of them being like any other person in life. They aren’t meant to be viewed so two dimensionally regardless of what disorders or other issues they may have.

Kotoko and fascism

Power dynamics in Milgram

Every character is a full person with multiple ranges of emotions as well as beliefs. If we can’t treat the fans we share a space with like other complete human beings how can we in honesty give the same courtesy to the stories we enjoy. It’s easy to say this is simply the case. Someone is just x and this other someone is just y.

It’s easy to focus on compare and contrast reasoning. Yet, it’s harder to look at someone that one may disagree with and still ask,

"How is this person like me, though?"

Can we look past our egos? Can we stop allowing a character’s mindset to boost us up and validate ourselves. To make us feel good and secure in our existence because they get it this shows that people get it- And see these things for what they are?

Yes, it’s a glorious feeling to see someone write out exactly how one may have felt or has been feeling in any medium- But admiration is the furthest thing from understanding.

Feeling good is nice. Yet, knowing how and why something makes us feel good gives us all knowledge on ourselves. Knowledge that allows us to take a step back and recognize when our biases may be getting manipulated. Not just with Milgram but with things like-

Slay the Princess, Digimon, Umineko, Revolutionary Girl Utena, Puella Magi Madoka Magica- All things Nott brings the exact same energy it brings to Milgram to.

Because when one is able to recognize their likes and dislikes anyone is able to enjoy everything to the fullest like it can.

Create Girl Amane

House of Leaves Shidou

Vincord

Huh- Ah, hello to you! I hope your year has been going splendidly. Hm, I’m probably about to say something no one will understand other than me. Bu-but her art kind of reminds me of playing with clay! Ah how do I explain it. See this is what I meant in the last one about my way of describing art being weird.

I don’t describe it in the technical sense, I describe it based off the weight or feeling it gives off. I’m pretty sure Star doesn’t even understand this one and she’s proofreading. It’s like when I look at art I kind of think of it in the sense of what it would be like to touch. It gives off the firmness but flexibility of molding clay.

That’s been sculpted into a fine shape but could bend or break under the slightest pressure. It has a firm fragility to it that I really like, it’s rather impressive! It’s difficult to make something rigid but cushiony all at once. On top of that her expression work is really good too.

Princess Mononoke Yuno and Kotoko

When she’s not drawing fanart she can be found posting about her interests and talking about her ocs. I wish I talked about my ocs more openly! Hopefully you keep it up and all your years to come are better than the last.

Waivyjellyfish

She hardly ever stings with an affable way of speaking she makes waves in any fandom. One of Es’ biggest fans! It’s Waivy- Her art is very squishy. I’d say the feel of it is very reminiscent of flan. Since it doesn’t give off a feel as hard as jello or as soft as pudding this is a nice middle ground comparison.

Harlequin (Arlekino) Es

Es art

Her lining tends to be fluid causing it to catch the eye more easily. Even sketches end up having a nice yet not overbearing weight to them. Giving off a solid but squishy to jiggly feel. Now where Waivy's abilities shine through the most is with character designs, displays of movement, and perspective.

She’s great at drawing things in a way where one is easily able to pick up the mannerisms and movements of the subject. Meaning despite being still it still manages to feel very animated and lively. Her expression work also gives a good deal of incite into the characters making them easy to read from a glance.

This shines through the most with her ocs the Dokuro Family. Outside of drawing Waivy also does 3D printing. I’m a bit curious about how that goes in general since I don’t know much about it myself. She’s a 3D printer by specialty with a bunch of other media interests.

Some that I hadn’t heard for a while such as Katekyo Hitman Reborn (one day I will finish what I start that day won’t be today sorry Tsuna), One Piece (sorry Luffy), and Zenless Zone Zero to name a few.

My friend is into Zenless Zone Zero and I had the pleasure of seeing that all their sponsored ads on tumblr had been flagged for breaking community guidelines because I don’t know tumblr is a functioning website, I guess. This has nothing to do with anything it was just weird as fuck like what did this ad do?

It was every one of them on my mobile for a bit. Like I’m not complaining it was kind of like going ad free. Still weird none the less. So, I mostly know that one due to that. We were actually talking about the four horsemen of the apocalypse because of it recently.

Waivy sometimes writes as well but it’s rare. She tends to be a pleasure in the fandom and open to requests. Just don’t expect anything immediately and follow the rules!

Lastly, I know that it’s difficult to put oneself out there when it comes to communicating likes. It can feel embarrassing and cause a good deal of unwarranted anxiety to express positivity. Especially when one is uncertain of how the other party may take it.

As someone who gets anxious about doing those sorts of things myself, I can empathize. That or maybe I’m just projecting.

I’ve realized lately that it’s very easy for some to be dragged into a sandpit of negativity. It’s so much easier to give into to being critical when something strikes a nerve than to find anything good within it. It’s an honest but short-sighted response to a stimulus but that’s what makes it so human.

Contrastingly, people tend to put a lot more thought into being kind or showing positivity. So much in fact that they may talk themselves out of doing anything at all or convince themselves they’re doing too much. Just thinking about it can feel embarrassing and spark self-doubt like should I really be saying this, is it too much etc.

So, I wanted to make it clear that this wasn’t weird at all to me, and I greatly appreciate you spending your time on writing up such nice words for me. I know that it took a lot of time for me to answer. My apologies for that. Ultimately I saw this as a good opportunity to pay it forward and to show some respect to the others that make this fandom more unique.

Even if I don't engage with others often.

I hope that wherever anyone is at right now that we're all having the best new years eve or day that we can. That we go into the new year having learned more and looking forward to the amazing things to come regardless of the struggles that may crop up along the way. There are so many things that online creations can't convey be it a piece of art, analysis or a post, I hope in 2025 people are able to recognize the existences behind the screen more than the things they make on it.

That we all start appreciating and respecting each other more regardless of how close we may or may not be.

Though I know certain people would find that hypocritical coming from me. I'm not a saint and I don't forgive everything or everyone. Though the one thing I carry in everything I do is respect for the agency of others. I do believe fully I don't have to like someone to respect that they're alive and disliking them doesn't make anyone a object of my disrespect.

That's always how I'm gonna see it.

Outside of that I hope to get to spend a lot more time with Star while talking about things I enjoy. I want to make it clear this ask really made my year in a lot of ways. I'm not trying to be holier than thou or force some air of false positivity. I really do think internet spaces can be a lot more fun when we manage our expectations of others within them and sit with our feelings for a bit before reacting.

At the same don't get used to like all this kindness- I'm going into 2025 like a mirror people are getting what they give with me. I'm not a saint I'm a petty, mean, individual who is doing their very best to choose kindness every day and when I fail to choose it I will fail to do so in an spectacularly human way.

Bottom line is I'm going to be obnoxious about Milgram next year. I am going to have as much fun with it as I possibly can as respectfully as I can. I am ready to see hell and bring hell right back. Because I'm enjoying all of this until the very end.

(Star here: Ever since Gunsli came up with this idea I've been interested in seeing how it pans out. This year has been rough but there have also been a lot of people trying to make things better than how they first came across it. Even if it's by only a bit.

Gunsli has put in so much effort and energy into milgram stuff, it's been impressive to see. She's been reaching out more and more and it's heartening to see at least some of her efforts responded to in kind. Excited is a good look for her :- 3

That being said, I'm the one hitting post, since Gunsli is going to be out for a good few hours. >:- 3c if you want to, you should surprise her with messages. Also, from me- I hope everyone's new year pans out better than this one!)

#milgram

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narwhalandchill · 8 months ago

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spicy take incoming but i kinda wish ppl werent so desperately attached to and protective of this moniker of Great Big Brother 100% Perfect So True And Real when it comes to childe bc honestly. he really isnt (perfect or even that good at times) and to me acknowledging the ways both he and his family (for enabling him) are in some ways kinda just. doing teucer incredibly dirty in the long term but only with the best of intentions in the short term is so much more interesting than just pretending hes a flawless brother?? like it only adds to the drama and irony of it all man like theyre rly so dysfunctional as a family unit its great. even if hoyos likely never exploring that shit in its true depth it still lives rent free in my head for sure lol

like. you rly dont have to turn ajax into some sort of unfeeling uncaring monster of a shit brother to acknowledge that he does, in fact, repeatedly make incredibly reckless and selfish choices during his SQ with teucer and in general by choosing to obstruct the truth of who he is from lil bro so completely?

like this stuff can be nuanced and coexist with his absolutely 100% genuine commitment to protecting teucers bubble of a worldview (and w the theme of childlike dreams and wishes being so prevalent in general who knows what could be cooking w that one in particular) and his loyalty and love for his family without just having to whitewash the dumb shit he does lmao

like just bc hes capable of and willing to face the potentially grave repercussions of absolute bangers (🙄🙄) like teaching an actual fucking child to consider ruin machines fun besties and 100% insta ready to fuck himself up by protecting teucer at the cost of aggravating his still-unhealed injuries from the liyue AQ when dottores abandoned lab turns out to be more lively than expected doesnt. make that choice not a very irresponsible one yall im begging 💀

like. hes the adult here . the entire situation unfolding as dangerously as it does in the factory is Absolutely all on HIM for not being able and/or willing to disappoint teucer by just . Doing the mature thing and sending him away to safety because HES gotten too attached to this idea of being his lil siblings' loyal knight and perfect brother that Always finds a way to surpass the expectations no matter the cost its a role HE wants to keep playing despite the risk

like its So obviously a pride thing for him too and thats so fucking interesting because Of how flawed and questionable the logic is!! like yes he truly cares about teucer and ensuring he has a great unforgettable time during this impromptu escapade in liyue like thats not up to debate but the point im trying to make is that the choices he makes are Still very much intertwined with his ego and overconfidence and not really based all that much on Whats Actually The Best Approach Here. he improvises a way to give teucer the best mr cyclops outing he has ever seen bc HE wants to be the one offering him that experience and ends up biting off a bit more than he can chew and he can only blame himself for that one and This Isnt Fucking Sustainable

like i dont think that makes him evil but i do think it showcases his arrogance and flaws in a very concrete way and is a part of why calling him a perfect brother or at least one without an asterix just. rubs me off wrong lmao

like idk feel free to keep calling him that if its important to u and all if u want idc (and i do to some extent get why this defensive narrative of insisting hes great no issues at all emerged bc i remember 1.1 some ppl acting like hes childcare satan for how he treats teucer lol) but. at least like . Be willing to chip in to fund the therapy teucers going to need for those lifelong trust issues in the future man 💀

Bc Thats The Other Thing. now tonia and anthon i dont consider a part of this bc at least they Know hes in the fatui and hiding the gory details of ur harbinger job from ur baby sibs is like. fair enough and reasonable. but. crafting an Entire different AU version of yourself and feeding it to your baby brother as what constitutes actual reality surely is a choice of all times like ajax ily but genuinely . What the fuck if you were real id throttle you

AND HIS FAMILY ENABLING IT THE ENTIRE TIME ITS CRAZY LIKE. As a person with multiple siblings both older n younger with some similar age gap cohorts involved. God id snitch so fucking fast i dont think ppl rly stop and think much abt how objectively horrifying this shit is from teucers long term pov 😭 in the best way obviously given its fiction like its so scrumptiously awful and dysfunctional .

(& just in general man im just so obsessed with the way ajax 14 basically broke the eggshell of his past life and emerged to rise towards his destiny drowned in the guts and gore of the place and people and community he once called home unconditionally. Bro he fucked that town UP and now his family relations will never ever be the same its so fucking Delicious. those 3 days missing and what followed are just Actually a literal fucking horror movie when you stop blindly stanning our ginger menace, forget ajax' side and take the pov of his family and morepesok in general Why Are People Not Talking About This)

like. its not that i dont understand Why this is sth childe ended up doing as i said Thats The Point. its human. teucer is the only one in the family who wasnt there during that fateful 3 days/months . Like yea anthon and tonia were prolly sheltered from most of the carnage back then too but they still Know where he was sent when he became literally uncontrollable and almost killed the neighbors (everybody & their mom loves demonizing his parents as if his demon spawn ass left them a fucking choice JFEJSJSJSKDKS) . like its at least Known.

but then theres teucer.

And like. teucers the Only one with whom ajax can even pretend to have that delusion (ha) of normalcy and a family that hasnt seen him gaze into the abyss and stare back bloodied and grinning ear to ear . like. hes the only shot childe can have at even playacting some crude imitation of normalcy before Everything and even That comes with an expiration date hes fully aware of. so theres just lies after lies after lies and the fact that even his family just. if not actively partaking in the charade then at least silently allows the entirety of it to happen to teucer whos the Only fucking one out of the loop is just..... dude its not fair on him At All

Misleading teucer THIS much is just. its fucking horrible man but i GET it. thats why its so delicious man i GET it but god its just . imagine being teucer in this situation.... thats his entire fucking World shattered once the truth comes out. Everyone close to him has been lying to him his entire time. They all knew and they let him be misled. Like sure he might be happier Now with ajax dutifully protecting that childhood dream of his but after that. Just. sit on this for a bit. after everything do we Really think teucers just going to understand why it came to be and see it as worth it???? Will he really????

yet at the same time as awfully cruel it all is its just So human!!!!! Its so human of both ajax and his family to use the innocence of the only child that was spared the aftermath of worlds best/worst 3 month abyss training camp to indulge in this flawed false reality where their third son didnt walk into the void and come back hungry for More until only the fatui could take him and even then it only spurred him on further on that path. Like its all an act and a lie and its just. Not fucking fair on teucer but hes still doing it and theyre letting him even tho they Know it wont last theyre all looking teucer in the eye every day and letting him believe like man....

like in both the entire ruin factory sequence And in general hiding the truth from teucer as extensively as childe does hes being incredibly selfish but at the same time its selfishness only rly in the way all people are when it comes to Wanting to be seen a certain way by the ones they love and care about. and thats what makes it so interesting. bc as much as the choices he makes are dubious (or like. this decision makes sense to him. a morally bisexual total omnivore ethics-wise narwhalpilled since 14 who sees exclusively in abyss shrimp colors and acts accordingly) both they and the motivations behind them are also just. So very human ones . as terrible as the implications and eventual inevitable downfall of those choices can (will) be.

like. is it not that much more fascinating to consider all the ways that childe is neither a particularly exemplary nor an egregiously bad brother just one that. Happens to be wired weird in the head and proud and flawed and with a track record of heavily suspect decision-making but that also very much genuinely loves his family man. Like i can love that about him without dismissing the fact that theres parts to how hes treating teucer that 100% can and imo rly should backfire horrifically bc. It really just is that fucked up

hes not a good brother hes Worse AMD better than that and also not alone in this like. his family is an active fucking part of this . But like still . Is he trying his best with his abyss shrimp colored vision ? Yes. Is his love genuine? Absolutely. What are the marks? 3/10 meet me in the office after class mister youre just actually horrible (affectionate) 😭

A perfect brother? Not My Ajax man 🗣🗣 and like theres SO MUCH to explore in that it makes me so sad you just. Never see any of it p much in fanworks bc we all just call him best bro and whatever and thats that like its so sad. this family is terrible horrible awful and no good and they deserve it but also didnt deserve it it was misfortune it was fate it was inevitable . justice for teucer man i need to get him in therapy asap

#tonia will call him a perfect brother and ppl take it at face value is so.#dude NOBODY in that fuckimg family is in the place to say jack shit abt whats healthy familial dynamics n whats not #now like. do i know that theyll most likely never Truly let ajax experience teucers righteous rage at the betrayal #and instead brush it off where hes like youre still my brother i love u #Yes. unfortunately. but god he doesnt fucking deserve any of that like he SHOULD lose teucer forever #teucer should go full scorched earth no contact the entire family like its r/relationship_advice addressing mild drama #and theyd all deserve it. even as i understand Why they did this.and sympathize with it .#this is why he and the narwhal deserve each other btw hes just kimda fucking terrible sometimes #yes i had to make this about them too #genshin #rambles #childeposting

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kirkwallguy · 24 days ago

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I'd hate to sound pretentious or smth but I was watching a vid talking about media literacy when it comes to booktok and this idea with those girlies that thinking/engaging with something critically isn't fun and the only way to have fun is to turn off your brain... I don't think VG suffers from this as much as a lot of booktok shite but in comparison to the other games it rly does feel like you're not meant to be paying attention or thinking about your actions (cough not like you get to chose any of your actions COUGH), or the implications of anything? and I'm not trying to say VG fans are stupid or smth cause I think many Want something to think about, but I feel like I've seen a lot of people have to reach very far or just straight up make shit up to engage with the game? (Other games aren't perfect but I was immersed with the games enough to stop and think about how my choice will affect xyz, that didn't happen in VG) There's nothing to chew on in VG basically 😭

it's only pretentious if you don't mean it! but yeah i think there are a lot of parallels to be drawn here - i don't know how to say this without sounding like an annoying gamer bro, but now that gaming is more accessible, it feels like aaa companies do their best to cater to the widest possible demographic. market research probably shows that the majority of people don't want to be challenged or experience negative emotions, ask someone who plays games very casually whether they'd want to experience horrible consequences for picking evil actions in a game they'd probably say "um?? no? why would i want that?" but ask someone who plays a lot of rpgs and they'll probably at least understand the importance of those choices, even if they don't pick them personally. i don't think gaming is an old enough industry to have fully pinned down market research in the same way tv has - when you look at viewing figures, the most watched shows are soap operas and family sitcoms. that doesn't mean prestige tv doesn't have its place, it just means that the majority of people don't watch tv to experience the feelings shows like interview with the vampire want you to feel lol

dav doesn't actually ask any questions of the player. you're told what's wrong and what's right and not really asked to make any moral judgements. the bad guys that you kill are barely human so you don't feel bad about cutting them down (the antaam are dehumanised while the venatori are cartoon characters), the companion quests all end nicely no matter what choice you pick, the big act 1 choice is the closest you get to a negative consequence and it still feels very safe because you don't ever feel like you've done something wrong.

and yeah, it does feel like people writing analysis of vg are TRYING to chew on it, but so much of the enjoyment seems to be about coming up with your own fanon to play in a sandbox. which is fine. that's how i enjoy dai tbf. but it's sad to see after dao and da2, especially knowing how many other games there are that let you do this. SKYRIM is more complex than dav, and that's the game i always mention when talking about power fantasy sandboxes

the booktok stuff is kind of nuanced ofc, turn-your-brain-off rubbish has been available since the beginning of time and i feel like the real reason it's becoming more popular is self-publishing and people being more open about reading it on social media. i've written shitty 19th century porn and it was no better than whatever the mafia boss 50 shades ripoff writers are doing now. buuut also i think the way it spills out into other genres, and this increasing idea that fantasy/sci-fi should be about "escapism", is really fucking over people trying to get published while writing something complicated.

#ask #anonymous #imo it also doesnt help that bioware games are kind of 'fandom-y' and there seem to be a lot of people who dont play games normally but #are fans of da / me #the booktok thing is like... i also find these people really annoying but also if you want to a beach 20 years ago #and looked at what everyone was reading then compared it to today id bet the overall quality would be the same #like shitty crime thrillers that are churned out every few months. mills & boon. horrible scifi. definitely all things that have been #around for ages #usually i dont defend booktok because im a hater before anything else but in a way i think dav is worse than that #because it's entirellly corporate #ugh i wrote my dissertation on negative emotion and gender this summer. some of it really applies to dav but idk what will #happen to my brain if i reread it to recycle arguments and write a dav essay

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rosesradio · 3 months ago

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luke and annabeth were like yes i will love you unconditionally and truly and its the most toxic shit ever that no one understands but we both know its real even if its wrong and its just so fun to think about

okay yesss exactly, chewing on them throwing them around like a dog toy etc

allow me to yap

analysis can be different & i'm sure people will think differently than i do (which is fine & encouraged!) though i'm of the belief of like...if not for annabeth's loyalty for percy as well as thalia's return, annabeth probably would have joined luke. i feel like this was kind of a given struggle given her remaining loyalty to luke even to the latest point as well as hubris being her fatal flaw.

thinking about that one post about how percy was the hero of the prophecy because he knew exactly when to give the knife & allow luke to sacrifice himself. thalia was too distrusting of him & never would have given him the knife, while annabeth was too trusting of him & would have given him the knife before he was ready (& she'd probably find herself stabbed in the back for it).

there's just so much to their relationship that is unexplored i think because people are scared to explore it? & like look, i understand Completely. imo, they're probably one of the darkest ships in the rrverse depending on how you slice it. i respect people's preferences & icks alike in fiction—though i'll admit i'm a little disappointed people immediately dismiss it as "too problematic" because like...of course it is. so is sweeney todd, a musical about murder, rape, grooming, and cannibalism. & yet it's been performed & beloved by theaters for decades (my favorite musical <33 anyways—)

one of my fave things about lukabeth (that i haven't really explored in my fics because i always make lukabeth!luke into a literal predator but it's fine—) is a pivitol plot point i feel like a lot of fans ignore: luke was one of annabeth's weaknesses, but annabeth was also one of luke's, if not his only weakness. i feel like a lot of people dismiss him as one-dimensional & manipulative, which like...sure, he's a manipulative bastard. he did some fucked up stuff. but he's also morally grey, & he too has a soft spot for annabeth until the end, it's literally what saves the war.

ofc, the debate on luke's death scene will remain the most toxic sludge on the bottom of the pjo fandom's shoe until the end of time (that is, until the show erases this scene entirely as charlie bushnell stands up mid-death speech to clarify "hey, i mean this completely platonically!" lmao). tbh, i don't want it to have a black & white answer, because i don't trust Uncle Richard with anything these days, plus the nuance of it all is really interesting to explore instead of it all being laid out for us. it really is up to the individual to determine how they feel about luke & annabeth's relationship & what their final words meant.

am i always gonna interpret it a bit romantic because i'm a Freak that's interested in Whatever The Fuck they have going on? yeah ofc. would i endorse a relationship like theirs at all in real life? no, go to therapy.

that's all i have for now, thanks for giving me the space to yap anon 💌

#lukabeth #luke castellan #annabeth chase #pjo #asks

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beesmygod · 9 months ago

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What's your take, if you have one, on the cut moon presence boss on the lake of mud?

as always, i dont know. i thought i didn't really have much to say but the more i typed the more i Realized. but i still don't really know lol. this is really image heavy, which made it long, so most of it is under a readmore.

e: hello bea from the future here. hey. this gave me so much to chew on for the next section in a shockingly positive direction. thank you so much for getting this ball rolling

it half-relevant but there's also some kind of. intermediary thing. i think it's the same shape as the used moon presence but its blue. for some reason.

no animations on this one, so it was cut early. different "faces" as well. or the low quality of the cut one doesn't maintain the "features" as accurately.

oh what the fuck. hold on. look at the head of the "lake of mud" (LOM from now on) moon presence compared to the others

ive made posts in the past about anti-clockwise and clockwise metamorphosis runes possibly referencing the in-game phenomenon of creature's heads being turned in odd directions. loran silverbeasts and the crawler enemies (ostensibly both loran/nightmare frontier residents) have their "heads" turned clockwise, like above. slime scholar and probably other things i cant remember turn anti-clockwise.

the crawlers are....i mean they're gross. but also uncanny. there's SOMETHING going on here, right? god only know what though. they are also known for the grim sight you can take in when they rear up to Get You: their...stomach?? is rife with messengers. being consumed? maybe? it evokes the image of the artbook moon presence, who is swarming with messengers in the same area of its body.

anyway back to the little creep.

in the center of its chest there's this bizarre unknown thing. if you peel away the majority of its body it looks like this. a grey blob with tentacles. as far as i can tell it doesn't have bones to animate, unlike the rest of the model. the entire model has unfinished textures so its hard to tell what it's supposed to be.

judging from the blisters on the creature, it is CURSED. the orphan of kos' placenta weapon (which is, i think, just a huge cursed blood gem?) has these same blisters, marking it as a fellow "cursed" great one infant (? probably? look at what a runt it is).

curses are a complex aspect of the bloodborne universe. sometimes they can be identified by the appearance of "sickly spots", but other times, curses are color-coded with purple (or red, but that seems strictly related to cainhurst nope i forgot foetid offering can give enemies red rally auras and change their drop tables to include cursed blood gems. much to think about) auras and magic.

a curse is exactly what you expect it to be: great power at a high price (like a huge weapon bonus but your health depletes per second), but the source is arcane. the cursed and defiled pthumerian chalice states, "curses are caused by inciting the anger of the Great Ones, and used to hex others." winter lanterns, the enemies with the heads made out of messengers fused into a brain shape, are the only enemy that consistently only drops cursed blood gems (and, evidently, blood gems only form in the dungeon or nears its entrances). given the pattern of these spots appearing on bosses, it can be reasonably assumed that winter lanterns are the result of a great one's wrath. what the fuck! i dont know what that means!

we're not going to bother going into the nuances of rites and data-mining because holy shit. this garbage is needlessly complex for how half-baked its implementation is. but cursed offerings create cursed dungeons to explore with cursed blood gems to collect. cursed and defiled pthumeru is differentiated by the purple (!) skull vapor overflowing from the chalice. cursed rites required cursed materials: bastards of loran are the mummified bodies of infants who died midway through their transformation into a silverbeast. with the clockwise heads.

okay. that wrapped us up back around to the beginning. i think the lake of mud arena was intended to be in loran, canonically. it has a bunch of different variations that probably would have been used for root dungeon generation rather than canon usage. a lake of dried up water fits perfectly with the terrifyingly arid climate of loran (which generates the blue bolts in the atmosphere). at one point, it seems that several chalice dungeons would have had secret 4th layers (they're still in the game and can be accessed with some light hex editing); i propose that this is where that fight would have taken place. the previous layer would have been the cut great one beast. and layer 2 would have been the loran darkbeast. layer 1 would have been the abhorrent beast instead of the baffling loran silverbeast boss fight that's completely inexplicable otherwise. isz has similar pacing issues. oh shit, i wonder if that's what that blue one is supposed to be. fuuuuccckkk.

the ailing loran chalice tells the player that "some have made the dreaded extrapolation that Yharnam may be next" but the game is telling YOU the player that YOU are supposed to look at loran and extrapolate the fate of yharnam from it. loran was also using old blood as medicine and became a place overrun with beasts and abandoned by god. the loran moon presence is bloated with curses and lives in a place devoid of water, a horrible thing for a great one given how much they love to yammer about lakes and the sea. the area outside of the LOM arena is, amazingly, the exact same facade as the entrance to mergo's loft. there's a stained glass window above the door that's shared between locations, yet again linking loran, the nightmare frontier, and the nightmare of mensis together. and, really, the hunter's nightmare, since the LOM arena was very, VERY similar to the orphan's ocean with identical architecture.

holy shit i guess this is what im working on tonight. and now i see how micolash fits into the entire timeline. neat

#bloodborne #bloodborne lore

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realchemistry · 7 months ago

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Everything that went right and wrong with 9-1-1 season 7 (according to me, duh!)

Let me start by saying that I enjoyed the season a lot, but that doesn't mean that it was flawless and I thought the finale didn't deliver. So, this is me pointing out what I did and didn't like and why, and how I wish it'd happened instead.

Also: it's a short and somewhat rushed season due to the writers' strike, this I know. You know who else knew? TPTB. So, nope, it’s not a valid excuse for any of its shortcomings. If they tried to bite off more than they could chew, that's on them.

Everyone knows that having a three-episode arc for the honeymoon was a bad choice, it was clear because the episodes dragged due to it and the Bathena drama made no sense. Let's say they had to keep up with the tradition and that it's a huge budget deal to build those sets so they had to milk them for all they were worth. Fine. It could've still been made more interesting, but wrong choices were made. I didn't appreciate the whole pirates taking over thing, and the season ended with the cartel, which... why do you want to have POCs being the bad guys so badly?

So, let's go by the assumption that having a three episode arc for Bathena's honeymoon was the only choice possible, fine... but didn't Madney deserve a lot of attention as well considering they got freaking married? Why was that not a two-parter? Why not have a first part with cases and some fun bachelor/bachelorette shenanigans, and have Chim disappearing be the cliffhanger? Why not dedicate a big chunk of the second part to that, like they did, and then actually give the wedding some breathing room? Sure, it mirrored their kiss after the whole Doug debacle but these are two main characters who got married. It's a drama show but the drama gets old if there are no bright moments in between.

The inclusion of Amir was interesting because of what it brought up in Bobby. Plus, the actor was clearly great and he was such a big deal that he, well, he was given A LOT of screentime. This made me mad because the show, as previously mentioned, was short on time as it was. Having a new character come in and have such a huge role would’ve made sense if we were talking about a full season. As it was, his presence meant that some of our regulars were pushed to the background. Their storylines suffered for it, and while the show usually does this, it's sorta okay when screentime is divvied up between the regular cast. When it's an outsider... well, I have some issues with that. Like, we literally know more about Amir than we do about Ravi at this point. Also: Amir was clearly an amazing person and he was wronged time and time again. Athena got to play solo-cop as it's her thing, and we're supposed to think she was being heroic instead of downright wrong and abusing her power? If I were Amir, I'd sue her and I'd burn their house down for real (not really, but you know what I mean). They put this man through hell. Sure, Bobby saved him... which felt such a white savior redemption thing. And I know the show and the character said otherwise, but it still felt awful and then it just got worse. In any case, they could’ve made this story play out with more nuances instead of devoting so much of a short season to it to the detriment of our stable cast.

Buck had an amazing start of the season, finding himself and his truth and sharing it with his family. The fact that they had him entering the dating scene with a character like T*mmy... I didn't like that. Any random person would've been better. But, also, I don't wanna be that person but this is my blog so I'm gonna be: Oliver clearly hadn't been enjoying the latest interactions between these characters to the point where their scenes, few as they were, were actually hard to watch. The last one was literally the most cringe inducing moment of TV I've ever witnessed. Instead of Buck exploring himself, we have him reacting to the odd, negative and out of place comments that T*mmy keeps throwing his way. It's just weird and not at all the happy story Oliver was hoping for, so I get him. I hope this gets better next season, with BT being bones and Buck being able to thrive instead of falling back into a revamped awful dating life.

On the other hand, this season was the Buddiest of them all. Well, I mean, it had the most hints of it actually happening at some point. When Buck talked about there being underlying sexual tension in the premiere, it was just ashslgjñhjsdñgjsñdg. They were comparing Chris's interactions with girl friends and boy friends but we all know that wasn't all that was. We had Eddie talking about how much growth Buck had done from being a playboy, which funnily enough he never got to meet, to the person he's today. Another great indicator were the whole 100th/101st episodes, with Buck clearly wanting to get Eddie's attention due to jealousy, which everybody could see, and the ~reveal that the episode was from Buck’s POV which was also incredible because that man was so in love with Eddie, it’s just insane. But, even most importantly maybe, was Maddie's scene with Buck... It was a mirror of her calling him out on his guy crush on Eddie from season 2, with the circled with a heart around it, but the next episode it got real. To me, her words and her face spoke volumes: first she couldn’t believe Buck was with Eddie’s friend, then she told him he might not be sure of his own feelings and finally that if there’s something he needs to tell Eddie, he will, just in his own time. That was NOT about Buck being bisexual, it was Maddie reading right what Buck was reading wrong: how Buck had been jealous because of the way he feels about Eddie and how he was putting his feelings for Eddie into somebody else. Someone safe for the time being, all things considered. That's a thread waiting to be pulled when the right time comes if I ever saw one! I've been giddy just thinking about it ever since, tbh. We also had a Buddie scene in pretty much every episode, and I absolutely adored them in the bachelor party because they were so in sync, as they were all season long actually. The parallel of Eddie asking for Buck’s help at the end was nice as just that, but the story... I’ll rant about it later. I love that Oliver has been pushing the Buddie agenda harder than ever, so I'm hoping he's talking Ryan's ear off about it and that they'll demand it from Tim soon enough.

Onto Eddie, the problem with the whole Kim thing actually starts because they killed Shannon in the first place. They should've never done that, I've always thought this way. She was a great character and seeing Eddie co-parent with his ex would've been great storytelling, he could've still had a breakdown due to divorcing her or even her dating again or whatever. Besides the insanity of Kim going back to his house after learning the truth, the fact that Eddie broke down and caved in was understandable. I actually thought that was pretty well done. The problem was all that followed. We don't care about Marisol because the show never made us care about her, so her part in all of this was completely irrelevant.

As for Chris, I honestly have SO many issues with his reaction. Him being confused would only be right, but being that mad with Eddie? I honestly feel like I'm missing something because the two of them developed such a strong relationship that it felt like Chris's reaction was totally OOC. Why wouldn't Chris want to know Eddie's side of the story? Why would he want to leave his dad and his house? Why would he want to leave the state? Why would he want to go live with his grandparents? Sure, he had a good relationship with them at that point, but we can only gather that by... imagining it, for the most part. How long since they been around? Why not mention that they were visiting or that Chris was with them when he was away to set the stage? It honestly felt like it was all improvised and they wanted to leave Eddie without Chris and this was all they could come up with. There were other ways that could've actually made more sense to get to this place, but they chose to do it in a way that's both hurtful to the characters and to their progression throughout the seasons. Make it make sense!!! There's also the fact that the finale script was all written under the assumption that Eddie and Kim were kissing when Chris showed up. That didn't actually make the cut. This is clearly a consequence of rushed scripts and filming schedules, and while we can interpret every scene saying they kissed as an exaggeration or simply a wrong interpretation of the situation, it actually made me very mad. Having characters rehash what happened the episode before so the people who missed it can catch up is normal but I hated it with my whole heart. Those people can go to hell, but if they're gonna spend time of the finale doing that, the least they could do was make the facts factual. Sure, Eddie was going insane and he said it was hard to explain but everyone in-show very much believed that Eddie had kissed Kim. This was upsetting because of the exact reason why that kiss was cut, as said by Ryan in an interview this week.

On top of this, Chris’s 13 years old. Eddie letting him go was not it. Eddie had every right to tell him he's staying whether he liked it or not because he's his father and he got to decide where he lives. The show tried to make the whole thing come out as noble but I thought it was bullshit. From what we know about Eddie, he wouldn't just let him go: he would either tell Chris to stay put or go with him. The fact that, again, they clearly wanted to have Eddie alone for whatever reason, and they couldn't find a better way to pull it off... that's just bad on TPTB's part.

Hen and Karen were put through hell once more for no reason. Why can't the big obstacle for them be simply getting through Mara? Why do they have to get to a good place only for it to be ripped away? Don't say it's drama tv, I don't care, people on screen deserve happiness, damn it! They most of all, tbh, and the fact that Denny was so upset just made it 5464641636469 worse. Then we had Madney helping out, which was lovely but completely unrealistic from a legal pov and also... why can't HenRen just get what they want without a het couple's intervention? So Ortiz had enough power to get Mara away from them but she didn't know that the people wanting to foster her were part of the 118 even though she had something to do with Gerrard being reinstated? I know this was what Tim implied on his socials to explain why someone as shitty as Gerrard would be taken back by the firehouse... which, I don't know if that even makes sense? Does she have the kind of power to do any of this?

A lot of questions now:

Why was a random woman given so many precious minutes of the finale just so Athena could have a car to go after an innocent man? Why does she keep getting away with asking for personal favors, recklessly involving Maddie too?

Why wouldn't the editor of the episode give us a full body frame at least of Buddie by Bobby's hospital bed? This made me particularly mad because it actually looked like Oliver and Ryan were not there filming (though we knew they were), and that's why they kept showing their backs.

Maybe they had lines, maybe not, but a few seconds while Chim, Hen and Maddie talked would've been nice... since it clearly seemed like nobody was particularly perturbed by Bobby's state.

I'm sorry but I can't fear for his life when his wife is away trying to get revenge and his team are just... there.

Also, why are him, Athena, the aforementioned neighbor and Amir allowed to just walk into a house that suffered that much fire damage? Wouldn't the structure be compromised?

Plus, Athena and Bobby kinda were awful to Amir, first killing his wife and then accusing him and all, so why would he want to talk about anything with Bobby, nevermind say he's earned his family? He was wronged so badly, he didn't owe them a thing, it's honestly ridiculous.

Then Bobby came back so fast... but he had quit before and forgot about it?

The Gerrard reveal was actually not something I hated because I love a good shake up. I bet he'll last three episodes at most.

We know this isn't gonna be good exactly, and it makes zero sense, but a change in dynamics is always refreshing and could put some things into perspective.

I hated when Buddie weren't partnered, but I ADORED the way Hen was weirded the fuck out by the closeness she is not used to having with Chim while on the field, so I can't wait for some of it.

Things I wanna see:

More May, more Ravi, Eddie’s sisters.

More Buddie.

No dating people to fill up time for either of them.

Eddie’s gay/demi awakening (I swear, if this is not where his story is going, it will all feel like such a waste, much like during his previous breakdown).

Chris and Mara going back home soon.

Gerrard and Ortiz getting what they deserve.

This is so long it's insane, if you've read it, I thank you. If I think of anything I forgot, I'll add it later. If you have anything to contribute, please do. I'm around and I'd love to discuss this show and all its intricacies.

#911 ABC #911 #Buddie #Buck and Eddie #Eddie Diaz #Evan Buckley #911 Meta #Oliver Stark #Ryan Guzman #Christopher Díaz #911meta #realchemistry #tbtl #honestly Tim is responsible for a lot of heartbreak re: Angel #so I'm mostly expecting that but this season had a nice beginning to it and then...#downhill in many ways #let your characters be happy #we have enough sadness in life as it is #I didn't proofread it so... have fun with those insane tenses changes

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