#its like that meme “the stars are beautiful” “do you know what else is beautiful?” this thing

[casavanse]

Ahasuerus: do you know who is the man whom the king wishes to honor?

Haman (blushes): who?

Ahasuerus: Mordecai

[arijackz]

PICK A CARD: What Will Your FS Admire Most About You?

⚤ “I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.” - Pablo Neruda

Disclaimer: This is a general reading, take what resonates. This is a gender-neutral reading, disregard any pronouns that do not apply to you.

p1 → p2 ↙︎ p3 → p4

✠ Pile One ✠ (King of Cups,Page of Cups,The World,7)

✧ Cards went wiillldddd. You stir up so much emotion in this person, it’s crazy. Your heart chakra is front and center here. You are picture-perfect harmony and universal love to your spouse. Your love can’t be contained, you love them, your friends, your favorite mug, worms out in the rain, strangers, the moon, and all the stars in the sky.

✧ All I see is a wide-ass smile, the biggest, wateriest eyes, and full cheeks. Your spouse thinks you’re sunshine-incarnated.

✧ This will sound corny, but your heart and love for the world and all its diversity make you appear angelic; God’s gift to humanity. The emotional depth you have is nothing shy of divine. Your ability to understand and reconnect your person with their inner dreamer makes you irreplaceable in their eyes. 

✧ I feel like your future spouse had to navigate around a lot of emotionally stunted people who left scars that prevented them from forming healthy relationships. Your empathy and desire to make space for peace and unity in this world give them hope that true love is alive and they are the lucky son of a bitch who gets to call an angel, theirs.

✧ I smell salt and hear waves. (I bet you’re tired of the cheesy poetry but HEY, me and your boo are OBSESSED with your energy) You truly are as beautiful and powerful as the seven seas.

✧ You know the Ouroboros, and how it's sometimes depicted as a snake wrapped around the oceans, holding onto its tail to keep the world together? Yea, that. To your future partner, you hold the key to their world. You add so much color and vibrancy. You turn over their inner ocean and awaken so much repressed child-like wonder within them.

✧ Wow. Your spouse loves the depths of you.

✧ Check for water placements, signs, and houses, in your natal chart. Some of you have insane intuition and have clairsenses. Clairaudience to be specific.

✧ Some of you are active in charities or aspire to make a difference in society. Maybe you’re into esoteric practices or anything else metaphysical.

✧ I even have a few philosophers here. Okay, KANT! (somebody please get this joke)

She Excites the Seven Seas

✠ Pile Two ✠ (Ace of Pentacles,8oW,The Emperor rev., “I Want”)

I love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me

✧ Of course, you don’t have to be a woman but that TikTok sound SCREAMED at me. Your future spouse is lowkey intimidated by you and they love it.

✧ You have big dreams. Big plans. But most importantly, a million and one ways to get you where you need to be. Your ability to say “I want this,” and then actually go out and GET it?? Your spouse is like the meme that goes “I’m a little scared, but I’m turned on.”

✧ I also see that you’re unconventional. If people have been doing whatever you want to do a certain way for years, you'll find ways to do it differently, just cause. You’re a true trailblazer. Your self-conviction is so damn alluring. Even for the people who struggle with insecurity sometimes, once you get over that hump and decide that you desire something, you fucking get it. Your partner sees you like magic. They are impressed by just how quickly your desires are set in motion for you. They feel that you are powerful and bring a great deal of power to them from just being in your proximity.

✧ You are also the “I don’t take shit from nobody” type. Not from strangers, not from your friends, your family, not even from your partner. In their eyes, you know your worth and have a strong self-foundation that nobody can tear down. There is genuine admiration and respect here. I even get the “I want to be like you when I grow up” mentality.

✧ There is a speediness to you they find very attractive. Either the way you behave, speak, or just stress about time, your pacing holds a special place in their heart. (or maybe, despite all of your responsibilities, you manage to find stillness in the chaos and slow down when necessary)

✧ The way you speak drives this person wild. It's like your voice narrates their thoughts and is the source of all of their arousal. Do with that information what you will...(don't be cruel, you make this person so nervous).

✧ I shuffled through a playlist and E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY LIFE!! by Corpse came on and one of the lyrics goes,

She just look into my soul with them Shinigami eye Coke in my nose and a blade on her thigh. Man, I think this girl is really trying to plan my demise

✧ Yea, you put the fear of God into this person, but in a good way! Your presence can be chilling sometimes. Fire energy for sure. There are definitely people here from pile 2 of my first pac, “What are your most alluring qualities?”, check that out if you want to.

✧ Okay, this energy has me needing to take a LAP, bye.

"Man, I Think This Girl Tryna Plan My Demise"

✠ Pile Three ✠ (10oW, 9oW)(no other cards wanted to come out, real stubborn)

✧ Okay so, this feels specific?... and maybe even a lil off topic but I feel called to say this

✧ I sense that you and your person are psychically connected and share the mutual feeling that the two of you are meant to cross paths. The both of you have gotten your fair share of fuckery in this lifetime and this union feels like divine justice.

✧ This sounds a little fucked up, but you guys flourish amid trauma. Dark energy alchmaziers. You best wield your potential while you’re going THROUGH it.

✧ You had to “die” and bury yourself a dozen times to get where you are today.

✧ You are a very evolved individual. Throughout your life, traumatic events and relationships have forced you to bear a lot of weight on your back and it’s like the pressure has forged you into a diamond. With each curveball life threw at you, you stood tall and pushed to make something of yourself, proving your worth after a lifetime of strife and instability.

✧ Scorpio/Capricorn and 8th house/10th house placements. (check midpoints).

✧ A lot of you have tense shoulders, upper back, shoulder, and neck pain from the unease and anxiety your body carries. You have insomnia and may even struggle with nightmares.

✧ This person you’re coming into union with is so healing.

✧ This is something the both of you broke down and prayed for on your darkest days. This is a true partner, the soul that kept yours warm when the world was so cold. You had to put your dreamier side on the back burner to survive. This person will make you feel safe to dream again.

✧ I don’t have anything specific to say because you and your person feel so secretive  You two recognize each other’s pain and are the only people you guys trust. Like not even lil ol’ me can really get through to y'all. Y’all ride AND die for each other, in this life and the next.

✧ If you’re into astrology and already have a feel for who this person is, check your guys’ composite chart. Strong Scorpio energy here.

✧ Coming into union with this person will feel like a wish fulfillment.

✧ (short pile, it felt like a quick message for those of you who feel this connection telepathically. This is probably a secondary choice.)

"I Want To Caress The Piece of Me Within You"

✠ Pile Four ✠ (Queen of Wands, 9oP rev., 7oP, 4oP rev., the high priestess, queen of cups, “I will”)

✧ You’re a bad bitch, truly. Your fs isn’t calling you a bitch, buuuttttt she a baddie, she know she a ten! She a baddie with her baddie…. wait a minute…

✧ You may not have a lot of friends? You keep your circle tight-knit because you have been deeply hurt in the past and you guard your peace fiercely. For some of you, your home life was quite tumultuous and you struggle with financial security and inner happiness. It seemed like the world did not want you to feel good about yourself or succeed.

✧ Do you know that viral display of a deer’s ribcage with a spear through it, and how even though an attempt was made on the deer’s life, he managed to survive and lived for years after that event; all while still growing bone marrow with a giant fucking spear through its ribcage?

✧ “A close encounter with a hunter left the deer with several broken ribs and part of an arrow embedded in its body. Remarkably, the animal survived, and bone grew around the shaft and arrowhead lodged in the creature's side."

✧ "The deer lived with the arrow inside its body until years later, when another hunter killed the animal, cut the deer open, and discovered its amazing secret…As the tough tissue formed over the arrow, it acted as a splint for the damaged rib cage, strengthening the deer's injured body.”

✧ I highlighted some words that needed emphasizing. That’s how your partner sees you. They are in complete awe of the resilience and sheer tenacity you hold. They look at you and can’t believe the person before their eyes. The troubling history you usually try to hide from your romantic partners is exactly what allures this person. 

✧ You won’t ever lay on your belly and cry about life passing you by. You aren’t the type to victimize yourself and “woe is me” your way out of self-improvement.

✧ You are quite ambitious and aim to push forward, even if the odds are stacked against you.

✧ I get the message that some people in this pile have struggled with self-harm over the years. Your partner wants to kneel down and kiss your scars like a white knight, and vow to protect you emotionally and physically for as long as you’ll have them.

✧ The spear-deer imagery is so interesting. The deer represents virality. It is a symbol of piety, gentleness, devotion, and fertility. Especially with the queen of wands, the high priestess, AND the queen of cups, you provide profound love, passion, and insight to this person. However, even as a deer, you are quite badass???

✧ You are as gentle as a strand of hair but as strong as wool. Dainty but unbreakable.

✧ They have no desire to infantilize you because they know you are already your own greatest warrior. But they don’t want you to feel that you have to fight alone. Whatever burdens are on your plate, they take away as much as possible because they want to be a piece of the paradise you fight for.

✧ This is meant to be a short pac, a Tumblr post won’t do the unbelievable strength in your character much justice. Just know that your fs is so fucking in love with you and wants to spend their life by your side because of just how awe-struck they are by you.

✧ I mean c’mon… will YOU ever forget the story of the coolest fucking deer in existence??

"I Yearn To Be the Name You Call Out in Victory"

[katapotato55]

how to make your writing be remembered forever and possibly be well loved.

(incredibly stupid and silly fanfiction line at the end of this post) I know that title is incredibly daunting but listen, its very simple. you ready?

MAKE STRONG CHARACTERS

"but kat! surely its not that simple! " nononono listen. bear with me. I want you to think of your favorite thing. Now ask: what do you remember the most about the thing you love? I will go first:

I love team fortress 2. and guess what: this game has been around since 2007, and was in development hell since before I was even born. The game has been around for 16 fucking years. And guess what? in the strong year of 2023 team fortress 2 Is STILL getting memed about. and do you want to know the crazy part? the character designs to the naked eye are not special at all. ok sure from a designer standpoint, these are very well designed characters made so that you can easily tell who they are based on their silhouette. but from the average joe.... tf2 is iconic but overall it looks ok. it doesn't seem special to a stranger to tf2. look at this completely random and arbitrary example of a game in the same genre:

I don't know shit about the characters in overwatch. Yeah i have a BASIC idea on what their personality is like based on voice lines and some videos i guess... but in-game they just exist. these characters are brightly colored, they have beautiful unique designs, hell they have even more diversity such as robots and people from other cultures! but i don't remember shit about these characters. Maybe I remember the ice lady and tracer, but nothing else. and yeah part of overwatch struggling right now is incompetant development, BUT: The characters in team fortress 2 are SO remember-able because the characters have such a vibrant personality. I am an orange box owner, its been a decade and a half and I am still remembering this game and enjoying art about it.

"but kat! that is a comedy game! Overwatch is a very serious game! are you saying comedy is needed to make a character more noticeable?" no. though I think allowing your characters to lighten up every now and then would humanize them. Not full on goofy, just give them something that makes them likeable. and if you cant do that, you can STILL make a compelling character even though they are mostly seriousness. I have an even more awfully thought out example:

kung fu panda is a masterclass in making a serious comedic movie somehow work. Master Oogway.... he isn't a comedic character at all. Yeah we made memes about him, but ignoring that, he is a wise and resourceful person. He is at calm and has faith in this intuition. there are a lot of characters like this. What makes Oogway stand out is that he is also a little bit kooky and sassy.

this youtube clip sums up what I mean. It is a funny line, it fits the character, and It doesn't ruin the seriousness of the moment. Some of the most successful series in history have something about them that has appealed to people. In my opinion: characters with strong personality and interesting traits is always a good way to ensure your writing is successful. The second most important is the characters bouncing off of each other in terms of their chemistry with each other. There is a reason why I spent years playing the first Destiny game and all of the DLC, but I remember fuck all about the characters. I think I maybe remember the bootleg star lord robot guy.

A writing exercise

here is an exercise to get you in the spirit of character making. step 1- get a random character from a random bit of media. In this case let me bring you master Oogway. Step 2- Get a completely different character from a completely unrelated series. I am going to give you Scout from team fortress 2. step 3- write a random ass thing about them interacting. Think about how the characters would react to each other and why. Think about each characters values in life and think about how they would bond and conflict with each other. Think about characters similar to the character they met in the past and how they reacted then, and if they have never interacted, make something interesting with it. Step 4- keep experimenting. Once you get into the spirit you can apply this to any new character you could want to make anyways thats it byeee- "arent you going to do that ?" do what? "make a writing thing about oogway and scout. " ........

Scout: let's go turtle you got nothing on my speed- Oogway: The one who first resorts to violence shows that he has no more arguments. Scout: that sounds like chicken talk! come on tough guy let me have it- Oogway then proceeds to make scout eat shit before vanishing in a cloud of cherry blossoms and dust from the desert. If this post isn't popular I want you to know my dignity was lost for nothing.

[nirikeehan]

🔥 hey I do want you to do the Spite rant. deliver the Spite rant

Unpopular opinion ask meme

GOD YOU REALLY WANT ME TO CHOOSE VIOLENCE TONIGHT HUH

Okay Spite is fucking stupid and here's why

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?

Like. I literally just mean logistically here. if I was a corrupt Tevinter Magister/Venatori or whatever. I've kidnapped one of the deadliest assassins on the continent. I want to use him to do my bidding, find a way to collar him for my own ends. GRAFTING A DEMON TO HIM, A BEING THAT IS NOTORIOUS FOR BEING IMPOSSIBLE TO CONTROL TO THE POINT WHERE ENTIRE INSTITUTIONS OF SOLDIERS HAVE BEEN INVENTED TO SLAY THEM seems like it would be like pouring gasoline on a dumpster fire. Obviously it's not going to work out for you. Only the biggest idiot/most cartoonish villain on the planet would attempt it.

2. HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?

Isn't it extremely rules-breaking to the world-building of this universe to possess a non-mage with a demon? Aren't they like, famously drawn to mages who have to accept them into their hearts to corrupt them and whatnot? I'm not saying this means there could never be an exception to this rule, but the fact that Lucanis is supposed to be hypercompetent without having access to magic kinda just cheapens the whole thing. Everything is magic now, I guess. Yawn. It's kinda like when in the Star Wars prequels they made everyone a Jedi and the Jedi became super boring.

(And like, while I get the idea they did the Spite thing to give Lucanis some sort of "cool" companion ability – iirc you can't control companions and he doesn't even do much for you in battles anyway so like??? Why bother????)

3. No fucking character agency

This is where it really starts to bother me. Unlike other characters in Dragon Age who consented to possession by spirits/demons, Lucanis has no say in the matter. Some crazy evil Tevinters experimented on him and now he's doomed to live out his life sharing space with an alien entity??? And the narrative seems to treat this like he should just buck up and deal with it??? Like as far as I know there's no plotline to get him UN-possessed by the demon – everyone else just gaslights him and tries to convince him that if he's just nICE to the demon, they can be friends???? I am, admittedly, vague on this point bc I didn't play enough of the game to even meet Lucanis, but i did see some banter between him and Harding where Harding is literally trying to get him to play nice with Spite like "did you ask him what he wants to be called?" like Spite is his classmate in kindergarten and not AN EVIL ENTITY THAT CAN TAKE CHARGE OF HIS BODY WITHOUT CONSENT OR WARNING????

Wtf is the message here?????? Appease your abuser and life will be better????? Y I K E S

4. That's not how trauma works

So one of my favorite things about Inquisition is the grace and nuance it puts into the portrayal of Cullen and his reckoning with his past trauma. There's even a great metaphor about it in his struggle to quit lyrium – a very real tangible thing that keeps him tethered to the corrupt Templar Order, no matter how much of its poison he tries to cut out of himself. it's such a beautiful, elegant metaphor. And the narrative never punches down at Cullen, never makes light of the horrors he's been through. It treats him, and through him people who have been through unspeakable trauma, with respect and dignity.

Meanwhile, I feel like someone read Lucanis's Tevinter Nights story, saw this character that is clearly breaking under the weight of his own obligations and the horrors of the profession he never really had a say in joining, and said, "You know what would be hilarious? If we stuck a literal demon to him. So his inner demons can be an outer demon!"

It feels like a punch line. A joke. An invitation to point at this character and laugh. Isn't it so fucking funny? He was vulnerable once. He was in pain. He was weak. Let's punish him forever.

I have no idea who came up with that as a plot twist, but they must be a cruel, unfeeling person. (And no, I don't believe it was anyone with an actual writing credit on his character.) I suspect it's the same person who decided the only "right" ending for Lucanis would be to become First Talon. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps, Lucanis, and accept your place in this dynasty that's going to help rule the world. I bet Elon Musk would fucking approve. Maybe the Crows will get into crypto.

It feels like the ending to a horror movie.

[thescrapwitch]

word find wip meme

Thank you @tathrin for tagging me!

how this works: I search for the words previously assigned to me in WIPs and then choose four words for you to search in your WIP(s)

I was assigned: star, reach, gleam, bow

Star

Along with a living father and a dead grandfather, Tyelpë had uncles. Many uncles. Six of them, each as different from each other as could be, all united by the eight-pointed star they wore on their clothing like a brand. They took turns visiting him, ruffling his hair or bringing him treats or singing his nightmares away, always hesitating when answering one of his many questions. It did not make sense, the depth of their love and the fear when they looked at him, as though waiting for a blow. Had he been that horrible of a child, to make them flinch every time he tried to recall a piece of his lost past?

Reach

Do not fucking start with me, thought Maglor. He swallowed the words back, put his temper out of reach, and made himself smile. “You shall have to bear it regardless.”

Gleam

Our family, running and singing and laughing and bickering. Elrond shone around them, smiling bright next to Celebrian, playing hide-and-seek with his children. Forever, we thought. We shall stay like this forever, for are our walls not strong and our windows gleaming? Are gardens full of flowers and our beds warm? We were young then. We did not know that a wall could crumble, a window shatter beyond repair, that weeds could choke out what once was beautiful. We did not realize the shadows that lurked beyond our threshold and how sharp its claws could be.

Bow (I could only find it as part of rainbow)

So, on the cold and windy last day of the year, Fëanor bundled up his crab son for a small adventure. Crabs were, to Fëanor’s knowledge, not made for winter. Cold weather made them bury themselves beneath the sand, dreaming of warmth. Luckily, Maglor was not a regular crab and had more resistance to the drop in temperature. Caranthir even knit him a sort of sweater, with the rainbow striped yarn covering the bulk of his shell and tiny holes cut out for his eyestocks and claws and little legs.

This was fun! Its funny that each of these came from different WIPs (or maybe that's a sign that I have too many WIPs).

Tagging: @lordgrimwing @queerofthedagger @dreamingthroughthenoise @camille-lachenille @beatles4ever65 @awwyeah107 @zannolin and @aran-morinorea and whoever else would like to join in!

The four words I assign to you are: music, shadow, flower, and sword

No pressure of course!

[zynart]

the picture of aubrey dorian grayham

i havent seen anyone else say it yet, but i've often felt like drake had the vibe of a real-life dorian gray, even for years before this and even aside from all the allegations. and if today felt like a slashed painting, let's cover what i mean

it's about an almost 40 year old whose entire online presence for years has been culture curation and memes and celebrity shit and partying and womanizing and more partying on instagram and plastic surgery and trendsetting trend following and making music to make tiktok money and memeing with celebrities for instagram

a slightly dorky looking guy who seemed like a somewhat self-aware and kinda soulful enough dude in his early 20s, who got famous making music about love and emotions or heartbreak or whatever that even got him the "sensitive rapper" moniker (whether the image was real or fake all along, what i mean in how he came across in public) who has now spent a decade as this giant star where i cant remember the last time i've seen him do anything that looked like it showed an actual emotion beyond insecurity and pettiness and self-aggrandizement in all that time, especially about love

guy made songs like marvin's room but when's the last time he seems to have had any actual emotions about any women besides just chasing an endless list of women as status symbols and feeling wronged or slighted or threatened by women over petty shit. guy got famous off a song like best i ever had, made "sweatpants, hair tied, chilling with no make-up / that's when you're the prettiest" into a catchphrase people referenced for years. i dont know what his true self was but just like in the story, we're not arguing about whether dorian was rotten from the start, just talking about how it seems

haven't seen him show genuine emotion in years aside from trolling. flaunting wealth, trying to take taken women getting off on the concept of dominance play over other men. it's like someone who cared so much about looking hard and chasing pleasures that, because they thought real love and heartbreak looked weak, decided it was better to lose the capability at all

"enthralled by the hedonistic worldview that sensual fulfillment is the only thing worth pursuing in life... dorian expresses the desire to sell his soul. the wish is granted, and dorian pursues a libertine life of varied amoral experiences while staying young..."

someone whose entire life is vacationing with drinks beautiful settings or clubs or mansions or posing with celebrity women or trolling for memes, shown no actual emotions except pettiness and resentment in years. plastic surgery to look fitter and younger. life that's not lived as much as meticulously crafted and curated for instagram

circling back and seeing its a reverse dorian gray situation. one might think that instagram is the real-life painting, but the drake that we see and know is the drake on instagram, the carefully curated hedonistic party animal billionaire with a parade of celebrity friends and women, ab etchings and pout and photo filters and vacation settings for a look curated to be unchanging, constant, the biggest star on the planet. the drake we dont see, the drake in the attic, is the real drake. the person behind the curation

tbh maybe it's not that deep, it's just. a certain dorian gray feeling is something i've always gotten. this drake is something that in theory can't last, you would've expected any given billionaire playboy to have wound down and found love and settled by this age, there's only so long you can stave off time until you're actually old without a family around you, unless you're dorian gray and you can just keep going. but at some point someone's still stabbing that painting

[arcvmonth]

ARC-V Month 2023 Prompt List

Starting June 15th, all works under these prompts are to be accepted and reblogged here. Any form of content is welcome, and so are late submissions! Scroll through the prompts, take your pick, and most importantly- have fun!

(Don't forget the tags and the @arcvmonth mention, though! We don't want your post to get eaten by Tumblr, now do we?)

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Day 1: Lights, Camera, Action... Duel!

We're starting off light and sweet with a simple introduction day. Present yourself, the type of content you do, or the charaters you'll be working with- anything goes, just let the audience know of you in your own way!

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Day 2: Kahyoreigetsu

Flowers, Moon, Winds, Birds. Four wonders of nature, gentle and pure, and four matching bracelets around the wrists of one girl each. For the first time in too long, today's show stars our very own quartet of Bracelet Girls, so be sure to celebrate those beautiful sweethearts!

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Day 3: Duetto of Duelist and Spirit

The primary principle of Entertainment Dueling is to become one with your cards, to put on the best show ever in tandem with the monsters in your Deck. Show us your favorite cards today, and the story behind your partners of choice!

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Day 4: The Merriest Band of Misfits

With such a diverse world and a massive ensemble, it's only natural for interesting chemistry to be found between quite a few characters in this show, and today is all about those neat little dynamics! Show us your favorite unconventional gang of idiots, stick them in one place, and let the chaos commence!

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Day 5: Action Magic - Overpass

Whoops, someone seems to have mixed up our cast's scripts! Bracelet boys? Riding Duel King Kurosaki? What is this?? Whatever shall we do?? Show us your wildest swaps today- be it roleswap, bodyswap, or whatever else you can think of!

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Day 6: Understudy Spotlight

You ever see a character and instantly like their vibe... only for them to disappear into the background for all eternity? Well, here's your chance to take them out for a little spin! Show us your favorite background character today, and give them the shoutout they deserve!

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Day 7: Of Amores, Per the Prophecy

That's right, today is the day to celebrate your favorite ships of all time! Show us your sweet OTPs, OT3s, or any sort of polys, and spread the love all around!

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Day 8: The Regular- ah, Standard Show

Standard dimension day! Give a shoutout to all those unique duel schools, or the chill and cozy atmosphere of Maiami City, or the original motley crew from the olden days of the very first arc! Every journey has its beginning, and this one is as good as they come.

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Day 9: Light Across the Aether

The ARC-V story tends to be something of a mixed bag at best, but today, we only look for the best things to find within this bag. Show us your favorite story arc, episode, or even a singular moment of greatness!

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Day 10: Take Five! ....Or Ten!

First free day! The momentum is slowly ramping up, but to carry on with a good show, one must take a breather every now and then. Take the day off to talk about whatever, make any work you want, or just chillax and wait for what comes next.

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Day 11: Legacy For the Future

ARC-V featured five Duelists from all across the previous spin-offs, each bringing an interesting twist to the show, and a curious few differences from their original selves. Today we celebrate those legendary legacy Duelists- them, and whoever else may have been among them in another world.

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Day 12: But You Still Take the Damage

Meme day! Get silly, go crazy, be cringe and be free! ARC-V is a circus of odd puns and bad jokes and dumb gags that never get old, so go ahead and toss out all your funny gold!

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Day 13: Abyss Beneath a Smile

No one is born evil, and yet some choose to let go of the light in favor of embracing the other side, for reasons one may find to be rather baffling at first glance. Today is all about these oh-so-villainous figures, so show us your favorite antagonist of choice!

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Day 14: Halfway to Heartland Tower

Xyz dimension day! Who doesn't love a good city that shines like a literal beacon in the night? Heartland certainly has its charm, and so does its lovable cast. Even in the face of adversity, they continue to inspire hope in every way they can, and that sure is something to celebrate.

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Day 15: Salt For the Salt Lord!

Remember the mixed bag, and how we looked for the best of it last time? Well, now's the time to take a look at the less favorable parts of the story. Show us your least favorite arcs, episodes, or a certain pet peeve you had with the show- let the salt flow and flood the whole land!

(We'll mop it up by tomorrow, don't worry ;D)

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Day 16: Actually, He Would Say That

Look, we all like our cast with their pros and their cons, but sometimes there's just something... missing, when you look at canon portrayal. Some more depth. Some trivial details and silly nitpicks, to add to their flair... which are exactly what today is all about. Show us your weirdest little headcanons and most random thoughts!

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Day 17: A Salad of Heavenly Proportions

Four dimensions, four summoning methods, four heavenly dragons.... and of course, four quarters of a whole idiot. Please give it up to the kiddos, the twinsies, the complete and utter dorks of all time: the Yuu-salad boys!

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Day 18: D/D/D - Different Dimension Day

Canon divergence, modern settings, fantasy, sci-fi and series fusions...yes, ladies and gentlemen, today is the day. It's time to throw canon to the wind, because we're making our own stories through the wondrous magic of AUs!

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Day 19: My Heart Beats 'Till Overdrive

Synchro dimension day! We are here to visit the city of speed, spectacle and freedom!... or the lack thereof. Progress is a non-linear road, but our daring riders are working their way there, so do give them their due credits today!

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Day 20: We Interrupt Your Schedule for A Commercial Break

Free day 2: electric boogaloo! We're well into the swing of things by now, but a short stop is due before we move on to the final stretch! Perhaps you could mention some of your favorite creators in the fandom, or just roll around with anything else you're working on. There's also the option to simply take a day off- we even have some popcorn for those who want to just sit back and watch the show.

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Day 21: League of Dueling Seriously

Or LDS for short- no, not the school, the Lance Defense Soldiers. Today we celebrate the single most chaotic group in the whole show- yes, it's the Lancers' time to shine!

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Day 22: Prismatic Rare, Prismatic Pair

"Man, these two are such an adorable pair! Lemme just look them up- what do you mean, there's no content for them??"

Sometimes, one must dig pretty deep to find those rare, hidden gems, so show us your own gem of a rarepair today!

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Day 23: Back At Class, They Never Taught A Thing

Fusion dimension day! Beyond the shores of Academia lies a trove of possibilities, and the same goes for the walls of the ornate castle as well. Every student and teacher has a story to tell, and together they weave quite the curious tapestry... though what is there to be seen in such a creation is up to you alone.

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Day 24: Oh. My. G.O.D

Manga day! Loathe as we all are to remember that last panel, the manga is actually surprisingly good otherwise. It introduces a handful of new faces while reimagining old ones, and has a nice underlying message that makes it well worth celebration overall.

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Day 25: Woe, Angst Be Upon Ye

Oh, would you look at that? Today we are gathered here for the express purpose of hurting our poor little meow meows and giving them more trauma on top of their existing issues! How fun!

... alright, fine, they might get a happy ending. No promises on that front, though.

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Day 26: Action Magic - Crossover

Oho? What's this? Our cast has been given an entirely new script!! Such curious mixes can create infinite possibilities, each more intriguing than the last. Show us how you're crossing over ARC-V with other media, and let's dive into a whole new world today!

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Day 27: Square Zero

Original dimension day! Very little is known about the place where it all began, but this is a blessing in its own right, for it lets us explore what may have been with greater freedom. Pray tell, how do you picture this world to once have been?

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Day 28: Hey, Who Hired This One?

Strangely enough, an anonymous figure has shown up to the performance today! Whoever might that be? Well, the answer is yours to decide! Introduce us to your OCs, and let them roam the world alongside the rest of the cast.

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Day 29: Into the Games!

While the anime and manga may be over and done with, it so happens that our beloved characters still exist in several games, and are even getting further development and chances for interaction! Let's talk about how YuGiOh video games have been handling ARC-V in the past, present, and future.

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Day 30: Curtains Down

Final day everyone, woohoo! It's certainly been a ride, and reaching its end feels more than a bit surreal, but now that we're here... it's high time we do the curtain calls.

Tell us your favorite days/works from this year's ARC-V Month, or as always, do with the day whatever you will. Here's to another great event next year... 'till then, ladies and gentlemen!

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Extra Prompts:

1) Time Pendulumgraph

Hey, who fast forwarded the timeline- wait, isn't this four years before the start?? Looks like we're dealing with some weird chronography here, so show us your pre/post-canon ideas today!

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2) Guest Appearance

A wild VIP guest has appeared! Take one character from outside the series, and thrust them into the ARC-Verse while hoping for the best. Anyone goes! Literally anyone. Go wild.

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3) Doodlebook - Uh Uh Uh!

A sad truth of this world is that we do not hold the power to materialize cards out of thin air when pushed against the wall... however, what we do have is the ability to create the card concepts ourselves! Pop out a few custom cards of your design today!

[innytoes]

Hehehe YouTuber au headcanons?

More Youtuber AU!

-So Carrie is clearly huge in the fashion and beauty and lifestyle spheres. She does brutally honest product reviews with stuff she buys herself (because fuck sponsorships that require you say nice things), makeovers for herself and Reggie into different styles, make-up tips and routines, and every now and then she goes all Rich Youtuber and surprises her subscribers with like, a shopping spree or buying poor kids their prom outfits or whatever.

-Reggie's favourite was the one where she got them both a full historically accurate Renaissance Faire get-up.

-Also of course Dirty Candi has its own channel and they do stuff for that too.

-Very few people link Carrie's cute hype-man and boyfriend Reggie to that video essay channel that goes really, really in depth into Star Wars lore and background details, mostly because he doesn't show his face on that one.

-Some people are like: hey isn't he that tiktok guy who films himself giving dogs at the park the most unhinged compliments. (Insert clip of Reggie telling a Pomeranian she could lead armies and help them win the skeleton war, while she wags and lets him pet her)

-Alex has a reaction channel where he does both shows and movies he's never seen/was never allowed to watch as a child, as well as like tiktok stories and memes. People like his snarky sense of humour. They also love whenever he does something horror, because he insists on watching it with his cute boyfriend, who is 100% not phased by anything and will be like: it's okay babe the werewolf is just tearing that guy apart. Remember, he deserved it, he was rude to that gas station attendant trying to warn them not to go into Werewolf Woods.

-Willie doesn't have a youtube but he does post sick skateboard tricks on tiktok.... sometimes in locations he Should Not Be.

-Flynn has a channel where she makes parody songs and raps. Julie and the guys are sometimes featured.

-They all live together in a big mansion and people are like: OMG IT'S ANOTHER YOUTUBE HYPE HOUSE and Carrie is like: um no, this is my fucking house and the others just live here because else it gets boring and also Reggie is like a sad puppy if he doesn't get to hang out with his friends at least an hour every day.

-Julie as a Sims Youtuber. She started playing a lot after her mom died because you can turn on the Sims and forget about everything and suddenly it's four hours later, and she needed that at the start to just get through the days. She's got a few long-running series that are very popular.

-Julie is the only one going to school because her Tía would murder her if she dropped out of college to become a youtuber. Ray promises her he'll be proud no matter what she does but also he doesn't really understand Youtube and how you can make a living with it. He's very happy to help film on bigger projects or give camera advice to everyone, though.

-Everyone has guest starred on Carlos' ghost hunter show and people keep wondering how the hell he knows all these famous youtubers because he's such a small channel.

-Luke is the guy who is like: COME ON GUYS YOUTUBE ISN'T A VALID CAREER WE NEED TO BE DISCOVERED AS A BAND THE OLD FASHIONED WAY. He's like a cryptid that pops up in the background of everyone's videos. There's special Youtube Compilations of him from across the different channels, and he HATES IT.

[libertineangel]

LOVE MAIL BEAM ATTACK 💌💌💌💌💌 ‼️‼️‼️❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ....um this is just a little note (slipped into your proverbial desk/locker from a mysterious and unknown admirer) to say that i think ur cool, cooler than u give urself credit for maybe... ur certainly not extraneous... when u post abt ur struggles to meet people i feel it/relate to it but i also really think it's through absolutely no "fault" of your own so to speak whatsoever ... meeting people and developing a genuine relationship with them is genuinely just god's hardest battle in this day and age . and im not just saying this to make u feel better but i personally would love to hang out with you. in comfortable silence probably because i suck at initiating conversation too but that's fine. no but actually there's many things id talk to u/ask u abt. escrima bc i never heard of it before i saw ur posts abt it and it seems interesting. music and gigs of course. and im a star trek > star wars truther but for you id let you tell me about jizz music and whatever else. this is sounding a bit like the i wish i was british meme actually. i want to hang out with jimmy libertineangel. we would talk about jizz music and industrial bands and ride the london tube and eat beans on toast worth 50 pence. i wish i was hanging out with jimmy libertineangel :(. anyway. can i also say if i may since this is a valentines themed ask that ok yeah ur cute/hot and cool and whatnot but also i think u look friendly? like you have a nice/pleasant smile. ik being strange and off-putting is all the rage right now so maybe its not a compliment but from the pics u post i do think you look friendly and approachable too. which is nice. anyway. basically i hope you have a good evening and let's frolic in the beautiful world and skip and play a bit. in our minds. ok bye 👍

Thank you very much, this is very sweet and much appreciated! I know meeting people and forming connections is something the world as it stands is really not conducive to, certainly not for autistic people especially (saw a BBC article just today about an autistic person pushing 40 struggling to date anyone, which was Not Encouraging), I just do seem to be in a worse position than many despite all attempts and it's hard not to see Being Me as a significant factor, so to speak.

If you ever find yourself in old London town I'm sure I would likewise be happy to expound upon my various niche interests, though good luck finding 50p beans on toast here these days haha; and even if silence ends up prevailing as far as speech is concerned I at least have a stereo and a PS2 to provide an external focal point.

And thank you very much (again), I feel it is worth mentioning that pretty much every photo I post here goes through like 4 reshoots of "ugh dammit no why does my jaw look wonky" and other such curations of presentation but I am indeed glad I seem friendly as well as generally decent-looking; I have previously wondered if that is also an issue I have in person, being as I am minimally capable of understanding body language & facial expression I have even less idea of what my own is saying than that of others on account of being unable to see it.

Likewise I hope you are having a pleasant evening, this has indeed improved mine, to psychically frolic is an activity that no external factor can impede!

[zensakira]

So I wrote some notes while I was watching the miraculous movie. (I didn't intend to watch it today, I was looking for something to watch and was pleasantly surprised to see it popped up on Netflix.)

With absolutely no further context, here are my notes.

================================

That is not marinettes singing voice

Doesn't fit her

Animation is beautiful

There's no chemistry between marinette and adrien

Adriens singing voice fits better

How did fu know hawkmoth's name is hawkmoth

HE GETS A SONG????

THE MIME GUY IS NOW A CRIMINAL??

MULTIPLE AKUMAS AT ONCE?

Tom is gonna embarrass her

NO SAD TOM IS SAD ME

DID THEY JUST USE A SCREAM MEME SOUND EFFECT

Ain't no way they just said they have style

THEY INCLUDED THE VOLKSWAGEN

Where did the ice cream go

I don't see the annoyance bit

THEY DID THE KOREAN THING

WHAT

Now that is chemistry

Is ladybug flirting back what happened to I'm so annoyed

ANd yOu nEeD a piAnO foR tHat??

"you've revealed a whole new world to me

And its all thanks to you"?????

IT'S BECAUSE OF PLAGG ENTIRELY

YOU SAVE THE WORLD EVERYDAY BEHIND A MASK BUT THE GIRL BEHIND THE MASK SAVED MY HEART

UGHHHGHHB CHEESE

Hang on so canonically she likes them both at the same time and recognizes that

Adrien talking back to Gabriel,???????

Sir that someone else can't go to the ball anyway besides the ball doesn't equal a date nor does it mean you want to be together in a relationship

Is it another song

It is

Lyrics need workshopping

STOP IT ADRIEN JUST GO

Hmm a lucky charm would be nice

Does he have super speed as well

Don't worry the Eiffel tower always falls

Just lucky charm it

So what exactly is the super power he gave himself

WHAT IS THIS

THE FORCE??

I will myself to be a jedi ig

Gabriel is a star wars nerd confirmed

That scratch is the only retailiation that son will ever have over father

NOT THIS CHEESY LINE AGAIN

How did she jump so high without super powers

That jump was for nothing I guess

And.... Indestructible suits??

Oh. That's why they made his eyes white at first

  where's the lucky charm coming

Hang on is this movie almost over it felt like nothing happened

Where did all the backdrop butterflies come from

SHE'S MASSIVE

DAMN GABRIEL YOU MARRIED A GIANT

Marinette it was obviously him

CHLOE SPOTTED HELPING SABRINA UP?

Hang on I'M SORRY? Construction workers have no job I guess and also what if she missed a spot, does she only reconstruct what her eyes can see???

Wait what's the point in gardening

Creation = growth? Can you help babies grow too?

Dupin? DUPIN??? IT'S DUPAINNNNNNN

Oh it's December

Wow hawkmoth gets defeated in less than half a year instead of 8 years wait no it's only been one school year in the show as well darn

Ok Chloe has a pretty dress

It's a black mask girl what point was that gonna prove

Why he crying

How did they know to meet each other outside

Wow they don't even kiss

What is the new movie after finna be about the peacock or what

Oh it's about Emilie except she's literally dead and there's no preserving pod or anything

That's it????

================================

Some final thoughts. The animation is stunning. As an animator myself I found myself admiring the beauty of the rendering very often. So the movie did this fantastically well.

But the script overall is lacking. Watermelon is a fun joke. Flea bag is a funny new nickname. But none of their interactions sound endearing or even natural. The delivery was so flat.

I understand that there are troubles in condensing a five season show into a movie. But similar to how they adapted the lightning thief into a movie, my thoughts are the same: if you're not going to do it justice don't do it at all.

There are many bits of the movie that I love, thematically, aesthetically; tHE KOREAN MOVE that playfulness was the only thing that made me feel they had chemistry. I liked their initial meeting, stumbling into each other; but every interaction after that made ladybug- marinette (oops spoilers jk) feel like a wishy washy character who can't decide between being annoyed or insecure. And even the annoyance is just so terribly expressed, its hard to tell what's genuine and what's playful. Every eye roll is accompanied with a smirk or a smile, so it feels like she doesn't mean what she says when she tells him to stop.

Also, when chat noir first falls in love with ladybug.... It doesn't feel that impactful. Like that scene of being in awe.. What are you in awe of? Vs the show scene where he witnesses her be impossibly brave, purifying like a billion butterflies at once and then essentially declaring war on hawkmoth and pledging herself to be the hero of Paris... Like that's awe inspiring. Speaking of, what happened to the gargoyle unpurified ladybug??

I've waited so many years for this movie and the aesthetics are stunning but. The delivery is just.. The script.. Aiii. And also Fu is portrayed as this more ominious crazy old man when he's supposed to be a kind old man! Though I do like that plagg and tikki are the ones who pick their holders.

Anyways. If you're reading my live notes from the movie just know that its in chronological order. Feel free to guess exactly which moment is referring to which part of the movie.

[queer-as-used-by-tolkien]

Well exCUSE you, what if I WANT to??

I literally do pray in King James English when I feel like it. Usually if I've just been reading my King James Bible and the flow and rhythm of the poetry has seeped into my soul. I cry out to God in a pale mimicry of the poetry he has committed to my earthly hands.

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us POETRY I TELL YOU!

THE WHOLE BIBLE IS POETRY! Whether it is written as such or not it is the beautiful saga of God's love for mankind despite our many sins, his devotion to us as we fail time and time again, HE LITERALLY told one of his prophets to marry a harlot (whore) to show Israel how he felt about them abandoning him. The harlots cheats on him. God tells the prophet to take her back!! He does!! SHE CHEATS AGAIN! GOD TELL HIM TO TAKE HER BACK! RINSE AND REPEAT!

BECAUSE THIS IS REPRESENTATIVE OF HOW MUCH GOD CARES FOR US, HE WILL STAND HERE WITH OPEN ARMS, TEARS POURING DOWN HIS FACE, READY TO WELCOME US BACK. NO MATTER WHAT WE'VE DONE. WHAT IDOLS WE'VE WORSHIPED, WHAT SINS WE'VE COMMITTED, WHAT FAITHLESSNESS AND LACK OF REGARD OR RESPECT WE'VE SHOWN!

Is that not poetry? Is that not beautiful? Does that not humble you??

So YES I use the King James Bible. For more reasons than that, you may be sure! I believe the KJV is the inspired Word in English AND GOD WROTE IT IN POETRY BECAUSE HE IS A POET, AN ARTIST, A CREATOR!

And I am not required to! Like everything from my faith to my salvation to my perusal of the Word to my prayer life to what I spend my time on - all choices! I have my own voice and God will not stifle that!

I've simply chosen to align my voice with his in the simple, broken way that I can, because I personally see that as one way I can mimic God my father, my Lord, when everything else seems so far out of my control. I sing praises to him under the stars. I bop to the beat of Christian rap in the car. I say "seek and ye shall find,, YEEEEEHAW!" I shout hymns at the trees. I beg God for courage and aid in the midst of trial. And sometimes, I slip into King James English when praying. Sometimes I don't! Sometimes I pray put loud, sometimes not! Sometimes I sing in congregation with others, sometimes not! Sometimes I pray in a group, for a group, with a group, sometimes by myself! Sometimes I kneel! Most often not! Eyes closed? Hands folded? Head bowed? Depends on the day! Depends on the hour! Do I read my Bible before or after? Idk, depends on the vibe! Sometimes not at all!

Sometimes, I also say "I hath stubbed mine toe! YEET" and I tell you this, GOD LAUGHS WITH ME WHEN I REALIZE WHAT ANACHRONISMS I HAVE COMMITTED.

ITS FUNNY.

"I hath yeeting stubbed mine toe! Have thou mercy upon me, O Lord my God, for I suffer YEETING pain!" ITS HILARIOIS!

God isn't going to??? ROLL HIS EYES AT ME FOR THE WAY I PRAY??

The man in the image is speaking broken King James English! "Help" should not have -eth suffix on it there! He clearly has spent limited time absorbing King James English!

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT HE IS?!?! HE'S ASKING FOR HELP! WHETHER OR NOT THERE'S AN -ETH SUFFIX! HE'S YEETING GENUINE! HE'S REACHING OUT TO GOD FOR HELP! HE'S YEETING HUMBLED HIMSELF UNTO THE LORD AND YOU THINK GOD WOULD ROLL HIS EYES??? Like, you think God would be like... awkwardly... "bro, stfu, you're being weird, chill out, you don't need to do that..." NO!

I reject the idea you're putting out that God rolls his eyes at my prayers. Sorry, that's not worth your funny meme. What message are you giving unbelievers?? Who now think God judges them for the way they pray?? What message are you giving new believers, who will now try to speak to God in the exact correct way rather than letting their spirits run free? For a meme because you think KJV-only Christians are to be made a mockery of? For shame.

If the guy thought he HAD to speak in KJV English?? And maybe felt horribly awkward and embarrassed about it? God would say wow, it must be really hard to reach out to me through such an unfamiliar medium. I really appreciate the effort you're putting out to reach me. That's quite a sacrifice you're making. I treasure it, as I treasure all prayers and all my children who love me. But I also yearn for you to know that you can speak to me at any time, in any language, in any style, with any voice. Romans 8:26b, 'the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings that cannot be uttered' my lovely, lovely child, my son, you don't have to use words at ALL. Speak to me whenever you have the need. Do not hesitate to approach my throne, I beg of you. I welcome you with open arms. I weep that you thought you had to humiliate yourself to come to me. I hold you tightly. I'm hugging you. I'm hugging you Im hugging you im hugging you im hugging you im hugging you im hugging you im hu"

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Is It Really That Bad?

The hand of fate is moving, and the finger points to you, Nicolas Cage.

The Wicker Man is a classic folk horror film known for its unique tone, musical numbers, Christopher Lee, and its iconic titular structure. Movies like Midsommar owe a lot to this film; it’s certainly not a film I love, as I’m not big on movies about cults, but I can appreciate it at least.

Now, as with any classic horror film, it was inevitable it would get remade, and if there’s one genre where remakes actually have a real shot at being great, it’s the horror genre. The Thing, The Fly, The Blob, all of these films managed to take a terrifying story told once before and twist and recontextualize it for a new audience, and all three of those films are classics in their own right. So you’d think remaking a film in which an intolerant but well-meaning cop is led to his death as his ignorance is preyed upon by a charismatic cult of pagans would go well, right? There has to be some biting social commentary or some unique elements to this film, especially seeing as the setting was updated to America! Setting the film in New England or the deep South, places rife for the sort of horror the original played with…

Oh, wait, it’s set on a weird fictional island? And the cult is some matriarchy that’s meant to show a reverse patriarchy…? And it’s not a musical?

Yeah, no, this movie didn’t exactly do much to win people over. Quite a few actors from the original were highly critical of it, particularly Christopher Lee and Ingrid Pitt, and the original director Robin Hardy had his name removed from the credits out of disgust at the state of the film. Edward Woodward, the original film’s star, turned down an opportunity for a cameo, which speaks volumes about what he thought. Nicolas Cage has been pretty open about thinking the film was absurd, and critics basically laughed the film right into bombing. It’s safe to say Universal, who had been trying for years to get this remake off the ground, were likely regretting ever allowing the project to come to fruition. All in all, the whole thing is a monumental travesty notable only for some meme-worthy content within.

But is that really all this misguided remake has going for it? Is its legendary badness overexaggerated, or is it truly like watching the world exploding every single night? Well, I’m here to answer that for you as I determine whether or not The Wicker Man is really that bad after all.

THE GOOD

This movie’s saving grace, and what you most likely know it best for, is just how batshit insane it is, to the point of it being one of the funniest unintentional comedies this side of The Happening. Of course, there’s the infamous line about the bees, but if you’ve actually sat down and watched the movie you’ll know that line (which only appears near the very end of the extended cut) is merely the tip of the iceberg. You have schoolgirls chanting “Phallic symbol,” you have hallucinated girls getting run over by trucks on boats, and you have Nicolas Cage kung fu fighting angry women which culminates with him dressing in a bear suit, sprinting across a field, and sucker punching someone. It’s just an insane ride.

Of course, all of this is carried by Nicolas Cage. He realized what this movie was when making it, and in true Cage fashion brought the ham and cheese to make a perfect B-movie sandwich. His delivery of lines such as when he’s asking if two women have a shark in a bag or demanding to know how something got burned really are something else, and it all builds to that beautiful delivery of “NOT THE BEES,” the crown jewel of an utterly bonkers Cage performance. It became a meme for a reason, even if it isn’t notably crazier than many of the other lines.

If you can give this movie credit for anything, it’s for not being a straight up remake. Like yes, the basic premise—a detective goes to investigate an island and ends up sacrificed by a cult—is the same, and it doesn’t take advantage of being set in New England like it should, but this is a wildly different take with a different cult and different situations than the original film. It’s more akin to a remake like The Thing or The Fly than Van Sant’s Psycho, for what that’s worth. Though, on the other hand, this will be the only time this movie is ever mentioned positively in the same sentence as the former two movies because...

THE BAD

So, you know how I said it was good this movie decided to go in its own direction? That’s all well and good, obviously, but it would seriously help if that direction didn’t suck. This is a remake that just completely and utterly misses the point of why people like the original. There’s no musical numbers, the plot is dumbed down to extreme levels, the new additions and characterizations are just not really built into anything interesting… Sure, Nicolas Cage is a far more likable protagonist than the original guy (which is a low bar to clear considering what a judgmental douche the original’s protag was), but they don’t really do much interesting. They took a cult classic notable for its musical numbers, expert use of folk horror, and Christopher Lee and turned it into a bargain bin B-movie.

And that’s not even getting into the… questionable political message. Neil LaBute made the decision to turn the cult into a matriarchal society to show what would happen when patriarchal power dynamics were reversed, and the end result is exactly as problematic as you might imagine. With how divorced from reality any aspect of the cult is from a patriarchal society (I don’t see women having their tongues literally cut out or being sacrificed in pagan rituals very often), the entire film comes off as the anti-feminist version of Save the Pearls. Like maybe this idea could have been executed better, but it feels like the idea only someone who really hates women would want to even try and attempt. Like what point are we trying to get to, anyway? That everyone sucks? Do you really want to sit through a movie with a foregone conclusion where that’s the message? I get wanting to mix things up, but this was not a good direction to take the cult.

And of course there is the most damning element at play here: This movie is not even remotely scary. It has weird, surreal imagery, and as a horror remake it’s trying to be tense and unnerving, but between the idiotic anti-feminist angle and Cage hamming it up the whole thing comes off like a giant farce.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

As a horror film? Yes, this movie is pretty bad. But as a comedy? This film is a classic.

I’ve always believed that if a film fails at its main goal but still manages to be funny, it’s not a worthless film. But that’s the thing: This film still failed. It tried to be a folk horror film that wanted to make you feel suspense and mystery, and instead gave a screwy comedy where Nicolas Cage punches women and overacts. That 3.7 on IMDB might even be a bit generous if I’m being honest. This film is firmly in the “so bad it’s good” category.

Still, if you’re a Nicolas Cage film buff, this movie is absolutely a must-see; it’s one of his greatest batshit insane performances ever. And like I said, it’s a bad film with a lot of value. This isn’t complete trash, and cinema is honestly better for this film existing. Most horror remakes of the 2000s through the early 2010s ended up merely being forgettable garbage that no one talks about a few years after it drops. Does anyone even care about that A Nightmare on Elm Street reboot or the remake of House of Wax? Does anyone even know they remade The Wizard of Gore? But this baffling remake no one asked for and that no one wanted of one of the greatest horror films ever made has not only endured, it has become a progenitor of memes. I’ll take unforgettable garbage over run-of-the-mill cookie cutter trash any day of the week.

[notasapleasure]

10 favourites meme

I got tagged by @batri-jopa, thank you friend! Funnily enough I had a long draft of my 10 favourite characters written out and ready to go, though I hadn't been tagged, so this just provides the perfect opportunity to post it! Tagging @stripedroseandsketchpads @erinaceina @notfromcold @bellaroles and anyone else who wants to take part.

I put the characters below the cut because it got long as I tried to justify myself, but I thought I'd copy you and also give a top 10 fandoms by way of introduction for the few new followers who have found me :)

Fandoms (counted as media that I've created fanworks for or actively commented on others' fics for) and what I love about them

The Lymond Chronicles aka tiny fandom: I love all the outsider perspective and unreliable narration around the protagonist, but also I love that he isn't perfect and a lot of problems are caused by his failure to trust people/open up. He has his reasons for being like that, but I like a story where it's clear the hero/great man actually needs those around him (even if they also frequently fuck up and misunderstand things) to get to the end of the story. It's the first series I read since LotR that immersed me so thoroughly in its world - an uncompromising, rich and nuanced take on a huge geographical sweep of history.

And Then We Danced: Oh, it's all about taking beautiful traditions that someone says mustn't ever be changed/aren't for you and making them your own, proving there's no ownership over art forms and culture. It's learning about yourself through art and through other people, it's standing up to the bigots and finding community and defining your nationality and traditions anew in more inclusive, vibrant ways. It's also all the pain of not having the chance to find out more about a first love and all the potential for what might happen in the gaps in the narrative.

The Terror (TV series): haha people sure do put themselves in Positions, don't they? I am fascinated by the hubris and the absurdity of the Franklin expedition, and how the show zones in on the isolated men in their boats and puts their values - good and bad, helpful and destructive - under a microscope and watches what happens to them under the stresses of darkness, illness, hunger and hauntings. There is so much love in the show even as everything that can go wrong does go wrong, there are all these little rituals and objects that people use to give meaning to what they're doing.

Star Wars (predominantly Rogue One): Rogue One reminded me of the SW universe I loved as a teenager, the unimportant people who weren't Force sensitive or powerful, but who fought to do the right thing anyway. I will be watching Andor for the same reason (and tagging so my friends who need to block it can block it - and not letting the Mouse have my money for any of it don't worry about that).

Ripper Street: I loved seasons 1, 3, 4 and 5. The less said about 2 the better for me, though I know a lot of people on here are big fans. In my head, there was a much more interesting story lurking beneath season 4 and 5 that I'm always disappointed wasn't drawn out - the immigrant children who were traumatised on their journey to London ('the world comes to London and London becomes the world' <3) and responded in such different ways. And by god I wanted Reid to answer for all he did wrong but I loved that fucked up man and his Victorian hypocrisy. Hmmm when I stop to think about it I really want to re-watch, though maybe only cherry picking the episodes that tie into my alternative narrative theories.

Utopia (C4 series): I have written fic for this! So odd as it may be, this is a fandom. I haven't been able to bring myself to re-watch since the pandemic because yikes, and it's so cruel that it ends as it does, unfinished. But it's so compelling - season 1 is good, season 2 is absolutely heart-rending. Everyone is complex and fascinating and always developing - the games of 3D morality chess going on are wild, and again, love is such an important factor even as everyone fucks up again and again.

Musketeers (BBC series): I never did watch season 3, it all felt far too silly by then. It's on the list because I wrote a couple of fics way back when and it was the first time I'd written fic in well over a decade. Episode 1 had such potential. The cast was so good. But it just...wanted to be a silly BBC series and not a complicated historically-engaged series so I'll simply enjoy drunk and grumpy Tom Burke!Athos, beautiful-haired Jerott-fancast Pasqualino!D'Art, luschious-moustached cunningulus-loving Santiago Cabrera!Aramis and unutterably perfect WHY-HASN'T-HE-BEEN-ALLOWED-TO-MAKE-THAT-DUMAS-FILM-YET Howie Charles!Porthos without trying to engage my brain these days.

Ghosts (BBC series): I haven't written for it, but I had a glorious binge of Captain/Havers fics after seeing that episode and it gave me enormous feelings of The Kids Are All Right because, while a lot of it felt like it was written by quite young fans, there was so much great ND!Captain and acespec!Captain but there was also some excellent what-if-they'd-just boned fic and I loved it all and it was just the kind of delightful escpaist comfort fic I would hope for from the series.

Castlevania: I still haven't watched the last series wtaff!! Hey guess who loves the big burly idiot who's accomplished in battle and hates how much he's become attached to the effete blond bisexual disaster? haha yeah. Trevor my love you're the hottest cartoon character since Fox from Animals of Farthing Wood :p I haven't written fic for it, but I do love me some filthy Trevor/Sypha/Alucard smut :D

Lupin: Again, not one I've written for, but goddd I want all the Lupin/Benjamin fic! Classic 'male protag is kind of a disaster in the life of every woman he interacts with but he's got a best friend who is never really given any background reason for why he helps him out of literally every scrape so I have decided they're better together'. That is all.

Bonus!! Our Flag Means Death: so far only really interacting with fic when my friend writes it, but I love to see how much @notfromcold loves it! All the characters are great and I don't really have anything to add to fandom but I enjoy it a lot :)

Ok now ten favourite charcters. Not in any particular order, I just wonder if putting them side by side and rotating them in the light will make any patterns emerge.

Eta: holy shit. Yeah. There are patterns. There's a lot of 'characters who pour all their emotions directly into someone else to help further the protagonist/narrative journey and end up not getting anything to show for it in the end'. There are also some crazy ladies :')

And while I didn't put Merab or Irakli in the list below, you can see why either would fit my style. I will say though, that while I fell for Merab when I watched ATWD it was seeing people blame Irakli for hurting him and acting like Irakli was just a heartless asshole that made me furiously protective over Irakli and made me want to explore Merab's own worse side too (love himmm but he's not perfect either).

1. Jerott Blyth (Lymond Chronicles)

Loyal, confused, competent and doomed to an unhappy ending. A brilliant second, who will go along with nearly anything if you just explain it to him - he needs trust and leadership and is unfortunately in the shadow of a leader who finds it nearly impossible to trust and share. But when he does!! Oh. My heart. Jerott's never bitter about being second best though, he's just a man who thinks he's simpler than he is, caught up in a world of complicated, fascinating, infuriating people.

2. Faramir (Lotr)

A good man trying to do good who is Never Enough for the person he looks up to. Happy to be a steward not a king, dutiful to the point of self-destruction. Thoughtful, intelligent and cultured, but generous and devoid of bitterness. Like Jyn and Cathy and lots of the others in this list, it's also particularly his relationship with another that I vibe off (I could have put Éowyn as the fave just as easily), and the way he sees in her the sadness he's experienced himself, but he chooses to reach out, to offer her a different perspective, to be kind and never bitter. Love my depressed kids who feel they'll never live up to expectations but find each other and learn to heal together.

3. Harry Goodsir (The Terror TV series)

...a pattern begins to emerge. Another good man who starts off thinking that the rules are there for a good reason, wanting to see the best in everything, believing that mutual benefit can come from a deeply imperialistic, imbalanced encounter. But he's not a pushover - he is content with his position until he feels he isn't respected and he sees his values are not those of his superiors, and then he stands up for his principles and standards. Does he become bitter? I'd say not - he's fuelled by a kind of singular, protective fury in the end, a desire to save whatever about the place can still be saved from the selfish destructiveness of his people.

4. Deborah Goren (Ripper Street)

She puts herself out for others to a point where it's almost unhealthy - and when it becomes so, she draws her boundary and says 'no more', she won't be the homewrecker when there's a chance for Reid to be this honest with Emily still. Again without bitterness or meanness, just in recognition that she can do no more without losing herself.

5. Jyn Erso (Rogue 1)

Closest thing to a protagonist so far on this list, but she's still in an ensemble piece and only effective because of that! I'm tempted to say it's specifically her connection with Cassian that makes her, and him, characters I love so much. They're mirrors, as Diego Luna said in an interview iirc, and it's by seeing each other that they remember their fire and determination to resist the empire (not that Cassian has forgotten this, but the hope he uses as a mantra has been something beyond him personally for a time, and seeing Jyn crawl her way out of the emotional pit she was in reminds him of things he's forgotten imo). Again competent and doomed, I suppose she fits my preference for secondary characters in the sense of the wider universe - she and the rest of the R1 crew are the sacrifice needed in order for the OT to happen and for Leia, Luke and Han to have their stories.

6. Daniel Molloy (IWTV TV series)

Not the protagonist, acts as a sounding board and outside perspective on the things the MC tells themself, doomed in the sense of his illness and age relative to the immortals he's found himself around...he fits the bill! He might be a bit more snarky and bitter than some of the others, but idk, I still don't think bitterness is his predominant trait - he's incisive and observant and wryly competent. I can't wait to find out more about him.

7. Luke Skywalker (Star Wars OT)

Haha this one is a protagonist Jo!! Literally the Hero on his journey!!

Well let me tell you that 10-year-old me, when first exposed to Star Wars, was not as yet familiar with old Joey C and formalist approaches to storytelling. There are a couple of reasons I think it's important to have Luke on this list. 1) I distinctly remember him being the first blorbo I had where I was like 'this trait [earnest optimism fwiw] actually annoys me deeply and yet he is still my fave. Why?' and 2) whatever media I had been consuming and whatever people I was around, it was a fixed idea for me at that point that The Hero Gets The Girl, and the sibling reveal was a '???? *animal turns its head 90 degrees to try to understand* moment. The hero doesn't become a kind of sexless monk-knight who insists fascists can be redeemed because they're dad-shaped! I joke I joke. Vader is far from dad-shaped, he's just dad. Anyway I recall being FASCINATED and vexed by Luke constantly and he was without doubt my favourite of the original trio. Was that because I thought he should be because he's positioned as the hero? Hmm. Maybe. But I remember it being a kind of thing with the people around me that liking Luke was a bit babyish, and Han was the more 'complex' 'grown-up' character. (Insert Always Sunny conspiracy board meme.jpg IT WAS THE SAME THING WITH STEPHEN GATELY OF BOYZONE WHEN I PREFERRED HIM TO RONAN something something cultural infantilisation/desexualisation of queer people (I only learnt later how many people read Luke as queer)).

Anyway, what I'm kind of getting at is the ways in which Luke is an unusual protagonist, and socially, my experience was of people not treating him as an MC because he was 'boring'. But even as a kid I knew that wasn't true and was fascinated by his repeated *decisions* to be good, to believe in the good and again, not to be embittered by what he goes through. Also the loyalty and earnestness came to be favourite aspects.

8. Catherine Earnshaw (Wuthering Heights)

Aaaaah. Uhhh. Make this one fit your theory, bitch! Well, starting simple, WH is once more an ensemble piece about the significant influence a group of people have on each other. Catherine and Heathcliff are mutually significant to each other's journey and arc and emotional development (reverse of the Jyn and Cassian pulling each other out of the mire thing though! Dragging each other down because they can't escape their social circumstances). Cathy doesn't exactly choose to be good, but her choices are motivated by a (misguided, patronising, cowardly) intention to do what she can with her situation (gender) to get ahead in the world and bring Heathcliff with her - because she can't imagine willingly 'lowering' herself to his level, he must rise. Ahh...*chews stalk of grass and surveys crop of awful faves* gives me feelings about Jerott and Marthe's marriage again. Anyway, blah blah, you get the picture - doomed to unhappiness but tries so hard to exert control over her life/others/the narrative anyway.

Also I love a mad lass who dreams of the moors. <3 #teamCathyneverdidanythingwrongever

9. Lucy Snowe (Villette)

Hahahahaha. Speaking of mad lasses! Lucy doesn't believe she's the protagonist. She's plain and weird and not meant to be The One Who Is Loved by the kind, handsome man or the mean, beautiful woman. She believes she's doomed to an unhappy ending - so much so that she even appears to summon one for herself, snatching it from the jaws of happily-ever-after. She's never upset about her position (except when she's so consumed with shame/angst/etc because she realises she let herself believe the handsome man might care for her momentarily), she's an outsider with a wry, cynical view of the people around her, but she does still crave involvement and recognition. Not at all self-aware and 1000x more entertaining for it. Also goes on a furious opium-fuelled rampage through the town, what's not to love?

10. Gudrun Brangwen (Women in Love)

Another mad lass :) Gudrun is a modern lady who thinks she's in control of her life and her sexuality. She realises way too late that she's in fact caught up in Gerald's own experimental, philosophical approach to the modern world (I wanna say like... basically a giant wager between him and Rupert) and she's still subordinate to him and his wants. It's been a long time since I read it, but her angst about the physical side of their relationship always stays with me - when she feels like a glass of wine he's draining for his own strength and she lies awake feeling unsettled and doubtful, while he sleeps it off with a masculine kind of arrogance (sorry, it's a DH Lawrence book, I'm allowed to describe it like that) after they have sex. Also when she punches that cow it's amazing. (I mean the animal, not being rude about another woman. Haha oh Lawrence you funny little man).

--

By and large then, it's secondary characters (my thesis was on minor characters why is this a surprise!) who exist to support the protagonist, or some other character, and whose relationships with the the protagonist/that other character make me feral, because they play a role that is meant to be kind of thankless but without them the protagonist couldn't achieve what they need to achieve/the story couldn't progress as it does. God it literally IS my thesis fml.

[naysaltysalmon]

8 shows to get to know you

I was tagged by @emiliosandozsequence​!!💖

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood – I don’t think this one comes as a surprise to anyone who knew me before 2015. This was the show that got me into anime, the show that got me on Tumblr, and one of the most perfectly constructed stories to exist. So much of who I am is attributed to this show. Edward Elric’s determination even in the face of impossible adversity has helped me in so many ways since I watched this in middle school. I have watched this series at least 8 times over. The story and characters are perfectly cyclical, and the darker elements are completely earned. If you haven’t watched this show yet and you like anime, what are you even doing?

Hunter x Hunter (2011) – This is probably my favorite anime of all time and I highly doubt anything will ever top it (FMAB is a close second). This show carried me through some really depressing times in high school and early college. I made unforgettable friends in this fandom; my most popular fanfic to date is from this fandom. HxH destroyed everything I thought I knew about how narratives and characterization work. Every character is so 3-dimensional despite the seemingly simplistic storytelling. The animation is beautiful, the plot and characters are so endearing and sublimely constructed. Despite watching the entire series at least 4 times over, certain character moments will never stop me from crying for just how much these characters and this series means to me.

Spongebob Squarepants – What is there to say about Spongebob. The zany atmosphere, the absolute buffoonery. I would not be the master of meme humor I am today if not for Spongebob. I have no idea who I would be in general without Spongebob. As always, this counts for earlier seasons more than later ones, but my point still stands.

Fairly Odd Parents – Unfortunately, given its shitty creator and shittier new seasons, I hate mentioning this one at all now, but it’s true. Timmy Turner’s home situation and unflappable desire for mischief and adventure never failed to draw me in as a kid. I often wished I had my own fairy godparents to get me in and out of trouble, being the lonely kid I was. Timmy Turner is probably one of the first fictional characters I saw myself in in general, paving the way for the insanity of many others.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars – No one goes as hard as The Clone Wars when it comes to turning a meme-y prequel trilogy into some of the most powerful, compelling, and emotional storytelling to exist on TV. I already really liked Star Wars as a kid, and even the prequel trilogy, and yet I didn’t get around to watching this show until it was on Netflix in 2016. It changed my life; of course, Ahsoka Tano had a huge part in that. I expected her to be just another cartoon protagonist who would contribute to the fall of Anakin in some way, but what actually ended up happening and who she became completely floored me with its development à la Episode III. It’s so empowering to watch, and brilliant to behold its methodical unfolding.

Garden of Sinners – I have only watched this show twice, but both times it changed me as a person. Despite watching it originally in middle school, it has stuck in my mind as one of the most beautiful pieces of art I have ever experienced. That still holds true. I recently rewatched it in January. Shiki is such a nuanced, tragic, and compelling character. The dark topics addressed in the series are treated with a depth and nuance that I have seldom seen anywhere else. This series has really impacted how I approach storytelling to this day in my own writing, something I didn’t realize until this year. It’s not a show I remember all the details of, and yet so much of it defines my tastes and style now.

Helluva Boss – Listen, if you haven’t watched Helluva Boss yet, and you like profane language and adult animation, you’re missing out, man. Not only is this show absolutely hilarious with that kind of zany, dark, and random humor I enjoy, but the characters are so endearing and entertaining. The animation is unique and colorful. The latest episode (s2 ep3) really got to me, as did s1 eps6 and 7. Not every episode is an amazing hit, but this is the shit when it comes to indie and adult animation y’all, and if you haven’t watched it, you should go do that right now.

The Untamed (2019) – What can I even say about The Untamed at this point. I started watching it in September 2021 with a friend as a joke. It’s really hokey. The lighting is terrible. Some of the plot makes no fucking sense. But the acting is really good. And I was going along, thinking to myself “wow this plot is really stupid.” And I was right. It is really stupid. And then I got to the end, and the unreliable narrator villain reveals he’s actually a poor little meowmeow, and he’s the one who killed his divorcee clan leader husband. Oh my. And he goes off on a glorious homosexual rant about it. My heart. I must now dedicate my entire fanfiction career to this little meowmeow, and let me say, I have few regrets. I feel my writing scope and ability went from 10 to 100 in the span of a year thanks to this meowmeow. The rest of the show is fun now too, but god, I’m really only here for Jin Guangyao (and his husbands).

The only live-action show on this list is The Untamed. If that doesn’t tell you something about my tastes and my particular brand of insanity... I don’t know what will. Feel free to fill this out if you want!!

Tagging: @stupidbluejay​ @miricactusito​ @mattbear-music-nz​ @jackshade21​ @lizard-dumbass @arrysa-clair @wifiwuxians​ @dogs-are-rad​

[letterboxd]

In Focus: The Mummy

Dominic Corry responds on behalf of Letterboxd to an impassioned plea to bump up the average rating of the 1999 version of The Mummy—and asks: where is the next great action adventure coming from?

We recently received the following email regarding the Stephen Sommers blockbuster The Mummy:

To whom it may concern,

I am writing to you on behalf of the nation, if not the entire globe, who frankly deserve better than this after months of suffering with the Covid pandemic.

I was recently made aware that the rating of The Mummy on your platform only stands at 3.3 stars out of five. … This, as I’m sure you’re aware, is simply unacceptable. The Mummy is, as a statement of fact, the greatest film ever made. It is simply fallacious that anyone should claim otherwise, or that the rating should fail to reflect this. This oversight cannot be allowed to stand.

I have my suspicions that this rating has been falsely allocated due to people with personal axes to grind against The Mummy, most likely other directors who are simply jealous that their own artistic oeuvres will never attain the zenith of perfection, nor indeed come close to approaching the quality or the cultural influence of The Mummy. There is, quite frankly, no other explanation. The Mummy is, objectively speaking, a five-star film (… I would argue that it in fact transcends the rating sytem used by us mere mortals). It would only be proper, as a matter of urgency, to remove all fake ratings (i.e. any ratings [below] five stars) and allow The Mummy’s rating to stand, as it should, at five stars, or perhaps to replace the rating altogether with a simple banner which reads “the greatest film of all time, objectively speaking”. I look forward to this grievous error being remedied.

Best, Anwen

Which of course: no, we would never do that. But the vigor Anwen expresses in her letter impressed us (we checked: she’s real, though is mostly a Letterboxd lurker due to a busy day-job in television production, “so finding time to watch anything that isn’t The Mummy is, frankly, impossible… not that there’s ever any need to watch anything else, of course.”).

So Letterboxd put me, Stephen Sommers fan, on the job of paying homage to the last great old-school action-adventure blockbuster, a film that straddles the end of one cinematic era and the beginning of the next one. And also to ask: where’s the next great action adventure coming from?

Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz and John Hannah in ‘The Mummy’ (1999).

When you delve into the Letterboxd reviews of The Mummy, it quickly becomes clear how widely beloved the film is, 3.3 average notwithstanding. Of more concern to the less youthful among us is how quaintly it is perceived, as if it harkens back to the dawn of cinema or something. “God, I miss good old-fashioned adventure movies,” bemoans Holly-Beth. “I have so many fond memories of watching this on TV with my family countless times growing up,” recalls Jess. “A childhood classic,” notes Simon.

As alarming as it is to see such wistful nostalgia for what was a cutting-edge, special-effects-laden contemporary popcorn hit, it has been twenty-one years since the film was released, so anyone currently in their early 30s would’ve encountered the film at just the right age for it to imprint deeply in their hearts. This has helped make it a Raiders of the Lost Ark for a specific Letterboxd demographic.

Sommers took plenty of inspiration from the Indiana Jones series for his take on The Mummy (the original 1932 film, also with a 3.3 average, is famously sedate), but for ten-year-olds in 1999, it may have been their only exposure to such pulpy derring-do. And when you consider that popcorn cinema would soon be taken over by interconnected on-screen universes populated by spandex-clad superheroes, the idea that The Mummy is an old-fashioned movie is easier to comprehend.

However, for all its throwbackiness, beholding The Mummy from the perspective of 2020 reveals it to have more to say about the future of cinema than the past. 1999 was a big year for movies, often considered one of the all-time best, but the legacy of The Mummy ties it most directly to two of that year’s other biggest hits: Star Wars: Episode One—The Phantom Menace and The Matrix. These three blockbusters represented a turning point for the biggest technological advancement to hit the cinematic art-form since the introduction of sound: computer-generated imagery, aka CGI. The technique had been widely used from 1989’s The Abyss onwards, and took significant leaps forward with movies such as Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), Jurassic Park (1993) and Starship Troopers (1997), but the three 1999 films mentioned above signified a move into the era when blockbusters began to be defined by their CGI.

A year before The Mummy, Sommers had creatively utilised CGI in his criminally underrated sci-fi action thriller Deep Rising (another film that deserves a higher average Letterboxd rating, just sayin’), and he took this approach to the next level with The Mummy. While some of the CGI in The Mummy doesn’t hold up as well as the technopunk visuals presented in The Matrix, The Mummy showed how effective the technique could be in an historical setting—the expansiveness of ancient Egypt depicted in the movie is magnificent, and the iconic rendering of Imhotep’s face in the sand storm proved to be an enduringly creepy image. Not to mention those scuttling scarab beetles.

George Lucas wanted to test the boundaries of the technique with his insanely anticipated new Star Wars film after dipping his toe in the digital water with the special editions of the original trilogy. Beyond set expansions and environments, a bunch of big creatures and cool spaceships, his biggest gambit was Jar Jar Binks, a major character rendered entirely through CGI. And we all know how that turned out.

A CGI-enhanced Arnold Vosloo as Imhotep.

Sommers arguably presented a much more effective CGI character in the slowly regenerating resurrected Imhotep. Jar Jar’s design was “bigger” than the actor playing him on set, Ahmed Best. Which is to say, Jar Jar took up more space on screen than Best. But with the zombie-ish Imhotep, Sommers (ably assisted by Industrial Light & Magic, who also worked on the Star Wars films) used CGI to create negative space, an effect impossible to achieve with practical make-up—large parts of the character were missing. It was an indelible visual concept that has been recreated many times since, but Sommers pioneered its usage here, and it contributed greatly to the popcorn horror threat posed by the character.

Sommers, generally an unfairly overlooked master of fun popcorn spectacle (G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is good, guys), deserves more credit for how he creatively utilized CGI to elevate the storytelling in The Mummy. But CGI isn’t the main reason the film works—it’s a spry, light-on-its-feet adventure that presents an iconic horror property in an entertaining and adventurous new light. And it happens to feature a ridiculously attractive cast all captured just as their pulchritudinous powers were peaking.

Meme-worthy: “My sexual orientation is the cast of ‘The Mummy’ (1999).”

A rising star at the time, Brendan Fraser was mostly known for comedic performances, and although he’d proven himself very capable with his shirt off in George of the Jungle (1997), he wasn’t necessarily at the top of anyone’s list for action-hero roles. But he is superlatively charming as dashing American adventurer Rick O’Connell. His fizzy chemistry with Weisz, playing the brilliant-but-clumsy Egyptologist Evie Carnahan, makes the film a legitimate romantic caper. The role proved to be a breakout for Weisz, then perhaps best known for playing opposite Keanu Reeves in the trouble-plagued action flop Chain Reaction, or for her supporting role in the Liv Tyler vehicle Stealing Beauty.

“90s Brendan Fraser is what Chris Pratt wishes he was,” argues Holly-Beth. “Please come back to us, Brendaddy. We need you.” begs Joshhh. “I’d like to thank Rachel Weisz for playing an integral role in my sexual awakening,” offers Sree.

Then there’s Oded Fehr as Ardeth Bey, a member of the Medjai, a sect dedicated to preventing Imhotep’s tomb from being discovered, and Patricia Velásquez as Anck-su-namun, Imhotep’s cursed lover. Both stupidly good-looking. Heck, Imhotep himself (South African Arnold Vosloo, coming across as Billy Zane’s more rugged brother), is one of the hottest horror villains in the history of cinema.

“Remember when studio movies were sexy?” laments Colin McLaughlin. We do Colin, we do.

Sommers directed a somewhat bloated sequel, The Mummy Returns, in 2001, which featured the cinematic debut of one Dwayne Johnson. His character got a spin-off movie the following year (The Scorpion King), which generated a bunch of DTV sequels of its own, and is now the subject of a Johnson-produced reboot. Brendan Fraser came back for a third film in 2008, the Rob Cohen-directed The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. Weisz declined to participate, and was replaced by Maria Bello.

Despite all the follow-ups, and the enduring love for the first Sommers film, there has been a sadly significant dearth of movies along these lines in the two decades since it was released. The less said about 2017 reboot The Mummy (which was supposed to kick-off a new Universal Monster shared cinematic universe, and took a contemporary, action-heavy approach to the property), the better.

The Rock in ‘The Mummy Returns’ (2001).

For a long time, adventure films were Hollywood’s bread and butter, but they’re surprisingly thin on the ground these days. So it makes a certain amount of sense that nostalgia for the 1999 The Mummy continues to grow. You could argue that many of the superhero films that dominate multiplexes count as adventure movies, but nobody really sees them that way—they are their own genre.

There are, however, a couple of films on the horizon that could help bring back old-school cinematic adventure. One is the long-planned—and finally actually shot—adaptation of the Uncharted video-game franchise, starring Tom Holland. The games borrow a lot from the Indiana Jones films, and it’ll be interesting to see how much that manifests in the adaptation.

Then there’s Letterboxd favorite David Lowery’s forever-upcoming medieval adventure drama The Green Knight, starring Dev Patel and Alicia Vikander (who herself recently rebooted another video-game icon, Lara Croft). Plus they are still threatening to make another Indiana Jones movie, even if it no longer looks like Steven Spielberg will direct it.

While these are all exciting projects—and notwithstanding the current crisis in the multiplexes—it can’t help but feel like we may never again get a movie quite like The Mummy, with its unlikely combination of eye-popping CGI, old-fashioned adventure tropes and a once-in-a-lifetime ensemble of overflowing hotness. Long may love for it reign on Letterboxd—let’s see if we can’t get that average rating up, the old fashioned way. For Anwen.

Related content

How I Letterboxd with The Mummy fan Eve (“The first film I went out and bought memorabilia for… it was a Mummy action figure that included canopic jars���)

The Mummy (Universal) Collection

Every film featuring the Mummy (not mummies in general)

Follow Dom on Letterboxd

[asturlavi]

oh boy, do i have wonderful beast oda/odazai info for you all since this may just be my favorite chapter in all of beast. it clarified a lot about oda's state in this au, and how sad it truly is, especially with all that dazai has done to ensure that oda's safety is certain

before i start, this was initially intended to be a quirky little twitter thread that’s supposed to be kicked off with a badly drawn doodle of something meme. the thread was supposed to be about how wonderfully dumb odasaku can be and how annoyingly frustrating dazai is in the latest beast chapter... and then it slowly devolved into a crudely written essay about small discoveries i’ve made that most likely haven’t been pointed out before, so i recommend that anyone interested in either oda or odazai to check this out 

so i finally got around to reading the new beast chapter and seeing how odasaku constantly devalues himself and finds that he's lesser than the average person is… sad. its been said that him and ranpo are the stars of the ada, every mission trivial with their cooperation, and yet he doesn't see any of that. thinks he struck luck when it came to his entrance exam, which he specifies that it wasn't as a result of his own skills. his inferiority complex is embedded so deep that despite his achievements, he doesn't at all believe he has any worth as a human.

i'm just a tired, ordinary man like you could find anywhere. a third-rate detective, as unexceptional as a fallen cigarette butt on the road.

and his entrance exam was just like dazai's: the azure messenger case, which we all know wasn't at all a walk in the park. one mistake, and it would spell disaster for the city that the ada was trying to protect. no--not just the city, it would also mean the end of the ada as we know it. despite it all, he resolved it much to his own surprise, and it was all thanks to an "unexpected" gift. and that gift? who would it be other than from dazai himself? 

beast light novel ch. 3

(also, this is a shaky claim at best but I feel as if oda fully holds the capabilities to solve the case alone, but dazai knew that with odasaku's persistent feelings of self-doubt, along with his lack of some of the vivacity that dazai held to weasel his way through to information, the outcome of success wouldn’t be guaranteed. and so, dazai lent him something to ensure his success)

and yet, oda is blind to see truly how much intellect and skill he possesses. he doesn't realize how integral he was to the quest of the azure messenger, doesn't acknowledge that without him these orphans would have either slipped into a life of crime, gone to a downtrodden orphanage, or simply passed away, and he doesn't know that despite it all, he's one of the purest characters in the story, even with the darkness that will forever cling to him, a reminder of the violence that marred his past.

not to mention that oda, in one way or another, effectively analyzed the current situation that they're stuck in. he noted that if things currently go the way they're going, no matter what akutagawa achieves, him and his sister are doomed. so, oda brilliantly decided to go after the port mafia itself to prepare for this possibility, and it's nothing short of genius. and dazai plays along with this… because it is oda, after all. 

and everything dazai did, everything he sacrificed, it was all for oda.

now to the underlying tragedy of this chapter. take a look at this panel: 

ever since then, i've been making a living by solving requests that come to the detective agency.

i provide for the orphans

i drink coffee.

i gamble a bit on days off.

at night, i write a novel in the kitchen. 

that's my life.

nothing unusual, right? you'd think that odasaku was satisfied with life, since he has everything he had ever wished for. but in all actuality, he still lacks one important thing.

and that's friendship.

his words sounded so… empty. achieving ones dreams is but one aspect of life that brings one gratification, but doesn't necessarily mean it would guarantee lasting happiness. (think of famous actors or celebrities that spiral into depression even after they've achieved their dreams).

in that panel, he says he cares for the orphans, gambles, and writes alone in his spare time, but not a word of spending time with friends… something he had in the root universe, something that was lost to him in this one.

and he says this all with his face blacked out, as if he's somewhat implicitly dissatisfied (while the kid's faces are present, not at all concealed).

with dazai, he found peace in a place where peace is rare to find. They both completely put their guard down with each other around, and dazai can relax his overly speculative mind with oda. and they understood each other, a level of understanding rare to come by. dazai with his dark jokes easily flies past oda's ears because that's what they are, harmless jokes. and oda with his blunt honesty, which dazai cherishes and never prods him for it.

dazai also saw things in oda that oda was blind to. dazai saw a world of beauty in oda, the ray of light beneath a cloudy sky. he saw both intelligence and wisdom, kindness and generosity. and most of all, he trusted oda, despite dazai’s natural inclination to distrust.

and what oda saw in dazai was vulnerability. despite the front that dazai puts, he can be kind, even empathetic, when the situation calls for it. dazai once gave akutagawa a decision to turn his back against dazai’s offer to join the port mafia, when logic points to the fact that he didn't have to, but wanted to.

dazai also consistently gives atsushi words of advice and shows understanding when dazai was under no obligation to, such as atsushi facing the loss of his previous caretaker. dazai gave atsushi genuine advice, not laced with any malice or ill intent. dazai had even left atsushi to grieve alone, fully understanding that atsushi needed to pour his emotions out in private. there’s more than enough instances of dazai showing this side of himself in both the light novels and manga, but it seems to sometimes be brushed aside. even though the main cast of characters always dismissed this side of dazai, oda has always known that this side of dazai was his truest self.

oda and dazai also talked endlessly about trivial things, calling each other daily for two hours for no reason other than that they each enjoy one another's company. it's pure, wholesome love. they had a mutual trust and understanding between one another, which ango, another friend of theirs, severely lacked in his friendship with them.

oda's dream was to write, gone unfulfilled in the root universe, but he died happily knowing that the one he cares for is living in the path of light. dazai's was to find a reason to live, which he found in oda, and continues to use this as motivation long after oda passed.

in beast, dazai's dream was cut short, ultimately leading to his demise at the end. after all, his one reason to live is now robbed from him. however, oda's dreams have become a reality, but can one really say he achieved happiness? he has the orphans, his children, but they will never understand him like dazai had. he has peace, but is it the form of peace he wanted? spending time alone, on things like gambling, while endlessly mulling how he has no one to spend this time with?

and writing, his one true wish that dazai made absolutely sure to make a reality. but was it worth it, at the cost of a friend who brought happiness and reprieve when everyone else failed to?

i thought of this tale as a matter of equivalent exchange, you lose one life in exchange for another. the scales do remain somewhat balanced, but not over a matter of lives. it's over a matter of personal sacrifices, ones only known to us readers.

and i say "somewhat" because in the root universe, dazai remembered oda when he was alive, so well that dazai can recall memories to near perfection. but oda had completely forgotten dazai in beast, chasing after absent memories and deluding himself into thinking his life is perfect, while numbing himself from the aching hole of loneliness that consumes him inside.

also, oda is surely happy spending time with the children, but what about his lonesome hours? who is he going to spend that time with, in a world without dazai, the only person who understood him and his oddities?

ah, and remember this moment in the root universe? 

now, take a look at this again. no, look closer 

odasaku wasn’t merely gambling for the sake of it, he was gambling on a horse race. and before dazai was arrested in the root universe, he was seen doing just that. 

now, why would odasaku do this? he surely doesn’t seem the type to gamble away his money on something as silly as horse races, because what does someone gain while they pour their money into something so senseless? 

and the only reason i could arrive to is that dazai must have dragged him along to one. dazai is a port mafia executive, with more money than he knows what to do with and a boatload of depression. money probably disinterests him as much as life does, and he used gambling to kill two birds with one stone: ridding of money he doesn’t need, and distracting him from his boredom (and depression). 

and it doesn’t end there. remember when dazai in dead apple had visited bar lupin to pay his regards to odasaku, while reliving a pleasant memory dazai had with him? and he did this because he was preparing for a quest that may result in with the loss of his life, psyching himself up for what’s to come. this is probably bordering on speculation, but i believe that that’s precisely what he did once again in the horse races. dazai paid a visit to a place that oda and him had frequented, to prepare for another dangerous quest. 

also, note that immediately after exiting bar lupin in dead apple, dazai was confronted by ango, which kicked off the start of dazai’s plans. a similar thing happens in the manga, dazai spending time in a place that he and oda had gone to, this time the horse races, and his plan whirls into motion as jono arrests him. i think these similarities are deliberate, in order to establish their significance to dazai and oda. 

this long winded explanation’s purpose was only for me to go back to this panel once again, and say that everything oda spoke about doing, from spending time with his kids, to brewing coffee, to betting on horse races, and to writing in the kitchen, were all moments he had with dazai. 

and see that he has an extra chair that sits unused in the kitchen? at first, i thought it was there for the sake of being there. then, it slowly dawned on me that odasaku and dazai had noted in the dark era light novel that they made a habit of visiting each other, so it wouldn’t be illogical to conclude that it was a chair meant for dazai. a place where he can spend some private moments together with oda underneath the dimly lit kitchen, drinking in the scent of odasaku’s coffee and talking about things that distracts them from their troubles while odasaku whittles away at his manuscript. 

and one last thing before i end this out of sheer laziness, take a look at this photograph of oda from the final moments of the beast light novel.

as oda stated in the manga and light novel, he worked on his manuscript alone in the kitchen... but in the photograph, he wasn’t alone. he’s posing for a picture. relaxed, poised, as if entertaining the one taking the photo. and besides, wasn’t it dazai who insisted on taking photographs in bar lupin with ango and oda in dark era? he must have done the same in that very moment in the beast universe, but this time in anticipation of oda forgetting him. 

in the end, it seems oda and dazai left each other in similar ways, foolishly believing they've sacrificed their lives for each other to better the other's life, but all they did was create worlds where the feeling of happiness will be lost to both respective parties, while also resigning each other to a life of loneliness.

they've forgotten about their one happiness that stems from just being around one another, listening to the soothing tune of jazz playing softly as they talk into the night, the world lost to them as they're absorbed in one another's presence.

it seems like their story is a tragedy of what happens when you love someone too much, to the point that you delude yourself into thinking you're but a tool for their happiness, and with you gone, nothing will change.

but things did change, didn't they?