#its just so strange to understand that we did that together for the last time

[anticidic]

One evening I came across a house that had no one inside it, not even a mouse.

I thought it strange and said to myself, “How peculiar, surely someone must wander its halls?”

And so I called and my voice echoed,

…that’s when the moan of a ghost bellowed.

"Every relationship has burdens they have to overcome. Together."

"But our burdens seem to be more substantial."

ONE DAY I WILL RETURN TO YOUR SIDE

Ghost!Dazai and human!Chuuya AU ficlet. 1,074 words. Character death with a happy ending.

"That's what makes them even more worth fighting for," Chuuya said.

He fixed his hair in the mirror and tucked a lock behind his ear. Behind stood Dazai by the open door, his arms at his chest as he leaned against the wall. Watching. As he always did. When Chuuya looked away and fixed his bowtie for the third time, Dazai faded from sight.

It was quiet. No sound, no movement. The headlights of oncoming cars from down below in the district like tiny ants navigating the colony sped past.

Then he reappeared.

Chuuya frowned and shifted his attention away from his reflection. Dazai's form flickered rapidly until he was no more in the blink of an eye and all that was left were footsteps down the hall. A door opening. And shutting. Wind blew through his clothes and he felt detached from his surroundings. Inside the building—a cold memory hung.

As the days grew shorter and the nights longer, Dazai struggled to maintain his form for more than a few hours at a time before he had to step away. Their makeshift constellations before bed included Chuuya sipping from his wine and a blanket draped over his shoulders, on the couch. Across from him with ghostly legs draped across his lap was Dazai leaning back and propped up by physical cushions he had no use for. He could phase right through them if he wished. Chuuya would go on about his day, about the stray animal he fed, and about the elderly neighbor, Mr. Kishimura, whom he checked in on after not seeing the man on his early morning walk with cane in hand. Dazai would listen with a smile and when he spoke, he spoke with a whispering echo that wrapped around the room and filtered through the halls like a memory fading, fading away.

The most fragile voice Chuuya had ever heard. Dazai was just holding onto reality enough to be there. With him.

“I’ve never been more restless than the day you moved in,” Dazai paused and crossed the room. He placed a hand upon Chuuya’s cheek and cupped it tenderly. “I fear I’ll never be at peace now. Each day gets harder and I’m not long for this world anymore. I should’ve been gone when I took my last breath.” He sighed. “Does the longing ever stop?”

The words rang hollow. Chuuya stood there in thought and nodded with the tiniest smile.

A feeling of tenderness washed over him—a longing even, perhaps. And gentle tragedy. He gazed at the dresser, recently dusted with several framed photos propped up on it. Chuuya smiled in all of them, alone. He was never centered in the photo, always off to the side. His friends could not understand what Chuuya needed room for, and why he’d ask them to take several steps back to make sure they captured everything and everyone in the photo, but they relented for him. He never looked happier than in those fleeting moments in time: absolutely, completely alone.

“It’ll end. We know how this ends.”

Their story would come to an end. He had maybe one or two more chapters left in him. Dazai would go on forever. Chuuya would not.

At half-past midnight when his eyes closed, the blanket fell from his shoulders and rested atop his body. The lights turned off, and the remote was placed on the table in front of the television. A chill overcame him against his skin. A caress not of this world, but still entirely loving and careful like he was the one who would break first and not Dazai.

Maybe it did break him. Knowing they were together, had been together, and could forever be together but not actually experiencing what it was like to be in one another’s arms. Chuuya had not even photos of them. The first anniversary. The second one that came and went with him in bed bundled against the harsh winter outside and nursing a hot cup of tea. He lay across one side of the bed with the other half reserved for Dazai. The third was spent at work with Dazai using the last of his energy to follow after Chuuya for the day. They sat in a dim restaurant that night with smooth jazz playing in the background and a lit candelabra on the table in front of them. Chuuya would talk, talk, talk the night away and look as if he was holding a conversation entirely by himself to the onlookers. But Dazai was there as he always was. Listening. Even wearing a suit to match Chuuya’s own.

Chuuya coughed with a wheeze.

Days turned into months which became years on end spanning decades. His hair dulled. And he grew weaker by the day.

He lay in bed with the lights on and the television softly playing in the background, head turned toward the balcony. The same one he spent chilly evenings out on with a cigarette between fingers laughing to himself whenever Dazai’s words reached his ears.

Over the howl of the wind and so soft only he could hear, Dazai whispered: “I love you.”

Those same words would find themselves stuck to the walls and lost to time. One living memory would become two.

Chuuya closed his eyes for the last time and drew his final breath. Everything went dark and silent. Peaceful.

Then he awakened to Dazai looking down at him with the softest smile. On the verge of tears? Or was Chuuya imagining it? He reached out and touched Dazai’s cheek. Warm. A sunny spring day after the cold rain.

A startling realization hit him.

He could feel Dazai for the first time. They were back in his apartment with the lights off and Dazai sat crisscrossed on the bed beside him.

“Rest, Chuuya,” Dazai said. He lay on his side facing Chuuya, never taking his eyes off him. “We overcame our burdens. You were right.”

“You waited all these years to be with me?”

“And I loved every minute of it spent with you.” A pause, fabric rustled as Dazai pulled the covers over them and he draped an arm across Chuuya’s chest. His cheek rested on a pillow, and he had the most adoring look in those eyes Chuuya had seen since…since the earliest days of their relationship when it was still little but a budding flower.

“—And I’ll love our endless future.”

[joyridingmp3]

what i would give to sit on my childhood best friend's bed with all 4 of us friends sitting together listening to music, sharing new bands and songs with each other. like just for one last time

[medicaltechnician]

idk if its the late nights and lack of activity (my own fault) but i’ve been feeling like i need out of this friend group more and more. Idk what it is (i do, it just seems… petty and stupid. And just seems like a me problem not a them problem.)

problem ofc is that, there are a couple people i like as friends in the group. hell fuck i love them all and don’t want them out of my life completely. sort of wish that I didn’t have my ex out of my life completely. Maybe one day we can reconnect. But we both have to be more mature for that. We both need more growth. No idea how he’s doing.

I feel like I villified him a bit in my brain. Which was urged by my closest friend. Who I trust with my life so. (this was after I confessed maybe I have problems with him to to this friend. which was valid). Idk, people approach things differently. And I agree’d with my friend.

I think its a problem with how I talk. I guess I come off in absolutes? Idk. I give off, strange vibes when I talk. This tangent makes no sense to anybody but me.

But also, can’t just, drop em? They’re sort of my only friend group. It ain’t like I get out and about. I don’t mesh well with people. It sort of sucks that the most I’ve meshed well with is my ex, my bestie, and another friend. My ex is no contact so fuck me ig. My bestie is pre-occupied with other things and personally, I feel we’ve drifted a bit. I’m not too bothered by it? It’s neither of our faults, just taking different life paths. Also going from complete co-dependency to what we have now. What we have now is probably just normal friendship lmao. And then the other friend is a couple years younger than me, so obviously they do have their set of friends within their age group. Which I encourage them hanging out, like obviously. I see myself as more of an older brother figure ig. Try to part some wisdom I’ve gained. Then theres my crush and obviouslt rhats a mess, I wish I never had a crush on him so we could have a normal relationship. I wish I could have friends?? Idk. what am I talking bout?

So, yeah. I need to get out of the house more often so I can meet like-minded people (in the creative and path sense) so I can actually do the things I want to do. I don’t even need to be a producer or lead or director. Fuck I’m happy starting from the bottom and working my way up. (Ideal situation is mainly being on equal footing. I want people to give their input and ideas to my ideas, and vise versa)

[cinnamorollcrybaby]

Werewolf // Cinna’s Monstertober Writing Challenge

Tags: Werewolf!Geto x Fem!Reader, Alpha!Geto x Omega!Reader, A/B/O mechanics, marking, scenting, nesting, fated mates, description of violence including murder, NSFW, MDNI

Synopsis: Suguru knew you were his before you even presented as an omega, but the pack elders did not take too kindly to him marking you at such a young age. He kills anyone who gets in his way to you.

An: If you don’t like a/b/o or omegaverse, skip this one :3. If you’re a freak like me, enjoy! Also, this was my first time making my own banner in Canva.. what are we thinking?? I am also so sorry that this one is so late.

“Satoru… I’m going to kill them. I’m going to murder them all. I can’t do this anymore. She needs me.”

Let’s rewind, shall we?

Living in a small pack has its perks. Everyone is protective over one another and will always offer to help no matter what. Pack relations are strongest when the pack is smaller, and the pack is more likely to survive.

There are, of course, some cons as well. Everyone knows your business, and everyone wants a say in how you live your life.

For the longest you can remember, Suguru has been by your side. You two would spend a lot of time down at the creek together as kids. You two practically learned everything together: how to hunt, fish, trap, and forage.

He was your insistent shadow, and the pack elders thought it was adorable when you two were younger. He would without fail abandon the other small children to always go hang out with you. The two of you were like little partners in crime together.

Though their adoration turned to concern when Suguru never quite left your side. In fact, it was getting worse as he grew older. By the time he turned 13, He was abandoning hunting trips early to come home to you. He’d sneak out of his tent to go to yours late at night. Your parents would have to kick him out every morning, chastising both of you.

Though, the straw that broke the camel’s back wasn’t simple sleepovers and abandoned hunting trips. It was when he presented as an alpha. Everyone knew he would with how physically gifted he was as a young teen. He was also too damn protective for his own good, going as far as to breaking another kid’s nose for simply grabbing your wrist.

You were only a few months younger than Suguru, but you hadn’t presented yet. When he presented first, your parents forbade him from sleeping over. They were just trying their best to protect you. You two were “too old” and “not old enough” at the same time to be sleeping together.

Suguru, given that he now had the talk from his parents, knew what your parents were suggesting, but he hated it. He didn’t understand how your parents could think so lowly of him overnight just from presenting.

He lasted three nights. Three whole nights of not snuggling against you, not smelling your hair while you two drifted off to sleep, not hearing your soft snores in the dead of night. It was three sleepless nights.

Suguru always had an inkling that you were his. It was a rather strange feeling of possession, like he shouldn’t have to listen to your parents’ rules because you weren’t theirs. You were his.

His frustration only heightened when the pack started to impose longer hunting trips on him. Shorter hunting trips were reserved for those who hadn’t presented and mated alphas. Since they were mated, they couldn’t be away from their mate for too long; thus, getting the smaller trips.

All these things led him to the conclusion: you’re his mate, and he needed to mark you to prove it.

After a particularly taxing hunting trip, Suguru’s eyes filtered through the camp. Everyone was as painfully jovial as usual: sitting around doing absolutely fuck all. His eyes landed on you, and he could feel the tension melting away from him almost instantaneously. You were in charge of looking after the small children, even though you yourself were still a child.

His feet stomped over toward you without a second thought, and his hand wrapped around your arm tightly, pulling you along behind him.

“Ah- Sugu. Where are we going? I’m working-!” You shout as he continues to drag you along silently. “Sugu- The kids…” You murmur as the two of you head further into the forest.

“They’ll be fine for a few minutes.” He responded calmly before he glanced behind him. The camp was far enough away now. No one would be able to see the two of you unless they were specifically looking for you.

“What are we doing, Sugu?” You asked with a small nervous smile. You had started to have to look up at him these days. It was as if he was growing taller overnight. No longer just a boy.

He also started to stink — well, it wasn’t like a smelly smell, but it was unfamiliar. Your parents had explained pheromones. You didn’t particularly like them since you hadn’t presented yet.

“I need you to sit still, and don’t scream.” He instructed before he dipped his head between your shoulder and jaw. He experimentally sniffed at your neck — completely scentless. The only smell coming from you was your strawberry shampoo that he had grown accustomed to.

“Why would I-“ His large hand covered your mouth before you could get out another word, and he opened his mouth before clamping down on your neck. His K9’s punctured your skin, allowing for blood to trickle down your skin.

A pained cry fled your mouth, but it was muffled by his hand. Suguru felt his heart begin to race. It was happening. You were finally officially his. No one could tell him otherwise — not even your silly parents.

He calmly reassured you that you were okay while you softly wept. Your hand covered the bloody mark on your neck. He was just marking you. You know, like it was no big deal.

After sweetly kissing your tears away, he proudly walked you back to camp once you had calmed down from crying, satisfied with himself. Your hands were laced together like true mates.

The first to immediately notice was Satoru, another alpha who was barely a year older than Suguru. His eyes widened as he caught a glimpse of your marked neck.

“Suguru, what did you do?” He asks like a mother scolding her son. Usually, this was the other way around. Satoru would’ve never expected Suguru to do something as reckless as this.

“Don’t be so dramatic, Satoru. I just marked her.” He shrugs nonchalantly, still so proud of himself.

“You don’t understand. She hasn’t presented. This isn’t good. We need to-“

Your face was flushed a bright red, and Satoru could see your breath becoming more and more labored with each passing second. He frantically looked around, trying to think of what to do. Suguru probably didn’t even know that he just inadvertently forced your body to present. Having been marked, your body was now plummeting itself into a heat.

Suguru could feel you gently tugging on his hand, trying to get his attention. When he looked back at you, his eyes widened. He could tell what your body was going through, but he was just a boy. He didn’t know how to handle it.

“What are you three up to? Why aren’t the children being tended to-“ A clan elder asked after seeing the small children running around without you to watch them. His eyes landed on you, and he immediately tensed up at the scene. “What- How… Geto.”

*** *** ***

“He’s just a boy!” Suguru’s mom pleaded with tears in her eyes. Her hands clasped the young boy’s shoulders. “He has a whole life ahead of him! Don’t do this to him.”

“You’re right. He is just a boy, so it was your responsibility to teach him about these things.” A pack elder spoke.

“He’s an alpha. Even if they taught him those things, he would’ve acted on his own volition anyways.” Another spoke.

“Who even allowed him to be around her? He was suppose to be on a hunting trip, no?”

“We got back early. It was my responsibility, but we were carrying back a large buck. My mind was preoccupied. I accept full responsibility for his actions.”

“You can’t take on the full burden of responsibility. Geto is old enough to know right from wrong, and he chose the wrong path. He took that girl in the woods and marked her before she even presented as an omega.” The pack leader spoke.

Suguru stood completely motionless in front of his parents. He stayed looking down at the ground. While they argued over his future in the pack, his mind was stuck on you. They had ripped you away from him the second that the pack elder had realized that your body was in heat. He wondered if you were being taken care of okay. He wondered if you missed him as much as he missed you already. He wondered if he’d get to see you again.

“He’s done so much for this pack at such a young age. Please.. Don’t do this to him. He has his whole life ahead of him.” His mother pleaded once again. “We’ll keep a closer eye on him. We’ll do whatever it takes.”

“What about my daughter’s life?” Your dad finally spoke up after being silent for far too long. “That bastard tainted her. She could’ve presented as anything: alpha, beta, or omega, but no, he forced biology upon her with a godforsaken mark. He should be shunned from the pack.”

“He can’t be allowed to be in the same space as her. He’s already proven that he can’t be trusted. The last thing we need is for a young omega to fall pregnant because an alpha doesn’t know restraint.”

“Don’t you two have family anywhere she can stay with… just until she’s a bit older? The mark might fade after they’ve been separated for a while.” Another pack elder spoke up to your parents.

“You’re seriously removing our daughter instead of the problem child? That’s fucking rich. So, what will happen when he marks another omega far too early, huh?” Your dad argued, clenching his jaw.

“I wouldn’t do that.” Suguru finally spoke up, looking your dad in the eye. A stare off between the two ensued.

“If this is how this pack operates, fine. I don’t want her in here if we protect alphas simply due to their gender instead of the innocent.” Your dad finally grit out before stomping away from the meeting.

It took three full grown alphas and Satoru to hold Suguru back while you were leaving. They wouldn’t even allow him to say goodbye to you, not even when you cried out his name. Not even when you begged, pleaded, asked why.

*** *** ***

Suguru was never quite the same after you and your family left. It had been years. He was just a boy when they took you. Now, he’s a twenty year old brooding alpha. He was aloof towards everyone, and he only confided in Satoru. His friend seemed to he the only one who understood that he wasn’t trying to hurt you. He didn’t know that his mark would cause a great deal of stress on your body, and had he known, he wouldn’t have done it.

The rest of the pack looked at him with reserved disdain. He was a stain upon their community. Your parents were well liked in the pack, and he was the reason they weren’t there anymore.

Words kept getting tossed around, and the pack members who weren’t there for the meeting were terribly misinformed. As the rumors spread, the story became more and more horrid. They painted him out to be a monster who held you down while you begged him not to and bit your neck forcibly.

Suguru never tried to correct the stories. He had nothing to prove to these people, the people that sent you away from him. They could all think of him as a monster, especially if it meant they stayed the hell away from him.

The only thing that kept Geto from expulsion from the pack was his innate ability to hunt. His beast from was truly that of an apex predator. He went on extravagant hunting trips often, and he kept the pack fed on wonderful meats.

He looked for you, his mate, on every hunting trip. He tried to remember the faint smell that started to emit from you when your body went into heat. He looked for every sign of you.

He knew the mate bond was still strong because he could feel everything through it. He hated when you felt sad. He knew you experienced some sort of nightmares without him there to care for you while you slept. Your happiness made him feel bittersweet. He wanted you to be happy, but the thought of you being happy without him made him sick.

Your heats were the worst. Suguru would sulk in his tent in a state of horny depression. He should be taking care of you, tending to your body and every desire you had. He should be helping you nest and kissing every spot on your body while cooing praises to you.

Instead, he’s laying in his own sweat and cum, too much of a sad sack of shit to make himself go get cleaned up. His tent stunk of potent pheromones. Your heats, even while being so far away, managed to throw him into a rut each time.

He could feel your dissatisfaction. You were pining for him to come help you. It was as if you were screaming down the mate bond for him to come save you. He missed you so damn bad that he started to hate the smell of strawberries. They smelled too much of you and reminded him of what he couldn’t have

He knew that the elders still kept in touch with your parents. They were high ranking leaders in the community after all. They knew where you were, and they still opted to keep you away from him.

You and him were suffering because of the fucking elders. They caused all of this. If they would’ve kept their fucking noses out of y’all’s business, none of this would be happening.

“Satoru… I’m going to kill them. I’m going to murder them all. I can’t do this anymore. She needs me.” Suguru was practically crying for help. He was sat in his tent, holding his head in shame. His arms and legs were practically trembling.

The homicidal thoughts started when you left. It was sneaky at first, but they only got worse over time. His friend was the only one who knew about them. He knew how badly Geto craved to end their lives.

“Let me talk to them. They might listen to me.” Satoru spoke calmly as he gazed as his heartbroken best friend. The tent was heavy with the scent of alpha rut and distress. He could tell Suguru was really going through it right now.

*** *** ***

Suguru’s beast form was nothing short of a monster. He was the strongest, right next to Satoru.

His black fur was matted with blood as he pawed at the remains of the pack leader. Satoru had tried to talk to them, but they instantly shut him down. Then, to make matters worse, they sent him away on a hunting trip that same day.

Without Satoru there to keep the thoughts at bay, Suguru literally couldn’t help himself. The beast shifted before he could even do anything about it, and he was instantly blood hungry.

Tears coated his face as he shifted back to his human form. Killing the elders didn’t even help soothe him. He just wanted his fucking mate for christ’s sake. He sat on the floor in a scatter of papers from where the two beasts had fought valiantly.

Nothing could replicate the feeling of emptiness that filled him in that moment. His best friend wasn't there. His mate had been gone for oh so long. The pack leaders were now all deceased. When tomorrow morning rolled around, he'd likely be ostracized from his pack for the murders.

He laid his head back against the wall with his hands covering his face. He just wanted to see Satoru one last time before he was expelled and shunned. He wanted to apologize and thank Gojo for sticking by him for all these years.

At some point, the sleep deprivation got to Geto, causing for him to fall asleep naked in the massacre that was the pack leader's tent. Nightmares of slaughter plagued his dreams. Your face haunted him. He wondered what could've been had he known better than to mark you at an early age.

It felt so real, that he swore he heard your voice, though it was different in his dream. Your voice wasn't as squeaky as it use to be. It was smooth with age and experience yet still soft spoken. Maybe he was forgetting the way you sounded? The thought terrified him. His memory was all he had left of you.

You were... laughing? No, it couldn't be you. The voice sounded more like Gojo's-

The tent unzipping. A gasp. "Shit. Don't-" Gojo's voice.

Geto fluttered his eyes open to see Gojo standing in the small doorway of the makeshift shelter. He had... a woman's eyes covered. Her bottom lip was trembling.

"Suguru, what did you do?" Satoru asked like he did all those years back, and suddenly, Suguru felt like a small child who had no impulse control. He quickly scrambled up to his feet, using a random sheet of paper to cover his manhood.

"You were gone, and I just... I just really fucking..." His words trailed as his eyes looked over towards the woman. His heart started to pound in his chest. She looked... so much like you. It was as if he was being confronted with the ghost of his past once again.

"I went to go get her, Suguru." Satoru calmly explained with a hint of bite in his tone. "You really think I'd listen to what those old geezers said about not going to look for her? I grilled every last one of them until they slipped up and gave me enough information to find her."

Geto's eyes were as wide as saucers, and his pupils were dilated as he stared at the woman who was quietly trembling next to Satoru. His hand covered most of her face. "Is that...?"

"In the flesh." Satoru said as his hand slowly dropped from your eyes. Chills shot through Geto's body as he saw his mate's face again.

"Sugu..." Your little nickname for him. His breath went labored as he took in the sight of you for just one moment. His eyes involuntarily filled with tears before he dropped the sheet of paper and lunged for you.

His large muscular arms wrapped around your frame, pulling you into a tight embrace against him. "I'm so sorry.." He whispered in your ear like a mantra. His hands roamed across your back as if he was double checking that this was real.

“Fuck. I’m so sorry.” He whispered again in a pained voice. This was not how he wanted you to see him. He was at his lowest. “I’ve missed you so much. It feels like I’ve been underwater this entire time.”

You gently nuzzled your face into his chest, and you took a deep breath, savoring his scent. A content hum fled your lips. He smelled like home. “I’ve missed you too, Sugu.”

Suguru had grown so much since you last saw him. His body was now muscular and toned. His hair was even longer. It was tied up in a half knot while the rest of it messily splayed down his back. He wasn’t just a boy anymore — a man now.

“I hate to be the one to ruin this reunion, but there’s dead pack elders that we have to deal with.” Satoru spoke up as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Suguru reluctantly pulled back from you, not ready to let go of his missing mate. “I have no intention of staying here.” He said, eyes glancing over to the corpse on the ground. “This pack is a shit show.”

“So, what do we do?” Satoru asked, cocking an eyebrow at his friend. It was never a question in his mind. Satoru was going to go wherever Geto went.

“We start our own pack.” Geto casually threw out the idea with a small shrug. “It’s not impossible. If those incompetent creatures could do it, so can we.”

*** *** ***

You were happy and content to follow Geto and Gojo wherever the two went. It had been so long since you’ve seen the two males. You had almost forgotten how much mischief they could get up to.

Every day was filled with hiking, trying to find a new place to settle down. Every night was spent around a small fire, listening to the stories of the two while you were sent away.

When you and Geto would finally lay together next to the fire, he’d lazily play with your hair and whisper sweet nothings in your ear. He’d tell you how beautiful you were and how there was never a day that went by when he didn’t think of you.

“Have I mentioned how terrible it was without you?” He murmured in your ear while his large hand was gently caressing your hip. He would carefully slip it underneath your shirt. The pad of his thumb caressing your soft skin.

“Only a million times.” You giggled in response, looking up at him to meet his gaze.

“Make it a million and one then. It was terrible.” He quietly laughed, not wanting to wake up Satoru who was snuggled on the ground on the other side of the fire.

“I missed you too.” You replied. Your hand carefully reached up and cupped his cheek. Your head was resting on his bicep while your legs were intertwined. “I tried calling out to you often through the mate bond.”

“I felt it each time.” He admitted as his hand slowly snaked higher up your torso. “I felt each time you went into heat and needed me.”

The fire calmly crackling masked the small whimper that fled from your lips. “I’m sorry. I know that probably drove you crazy.”

“You have no idea.” He muttered as he leaned in and pressed a small kiss to the mark on your neck. It hadn’t faded in the slightest. Your body knew you were his before you presented as well. “I dreamt of going out to find you.”

“Yeah? What would you do had you found me while I was in heat?”

“Mmm..” He hummed in a low tone as he gazed at you with a small smirk on his face. “I would sneak into whatever tent you were in like I use to when we were kids.” He spoke softly as his hand continued to trail up your side slowly.

“I’d find you lying there, already such a mess for me.” He went on, painting the picture vividly for you. Your eyes slipped shut as you imagined it for yourself. “Then, I’d pin you down to your nest, stopping you from taking care of yourself.” He went on, and he rolled on top of you, pinning your arms down with his free hand.

The sickly sweet scent of your arousal building lingered in the air, making Suguru’s heart pound in his chest. You smelled even more yummy than he imagined you to.

“What next?” You ask softly in a breathless voice.

“I’d kiss your lips until they were bruised.” He mumbled, and he leaned down to you before pressing his lips harshly against yours. He groaned softly as soon as he could feel you kissing back. He poured all of his love and hunger into his affections. He needed you like he needed air. You were his sole salvation - his reason for living

He carefully pushed your shirt up over your chest, and he skillfully reached behind you, unclasping your bra within a few seconds. You worked with him, pulling it away from your body before you wrapped your legs around his waist.

His hand came up and carefully cupped your breast. Hs kneaded on the soft pillowy flesh with another groan. He gently bit your swollen lip, asking for entry before proceeding to deepen the kiss. He swallowed up your small moans and gasps.

"Then," he softly pant out after parting from the kiss, "I'd mark up your neck again and again. I never want you to forget who you belong to." His head dipped into your neck, and his lips latched on to the soft skin.

He sucked, nibbled, and bit his way up and down your neck, making good on his promise to mark you up. Your hips raised up to meet his, needily searching for friction to ease the ache between your thighs.

"My poor omega.." He mumbled softly against your skin before allowing his hand to trail down and to grope you at your core.

"Fuck- Sugu.." Your voice was a soft whine, forgetting all about Gojo who was asleep not even 10 feet away.

"Shhh, princess. Don't wake him." Suguru shushed you softly with a impish grin. His hands now worked to take your pants and panties off. "Want me to keep going?"

"Please..." Your face is illuminated by the warm glow of the fire before you two. A soft blush spread across your cheeks.

"Mmm, then you have to be quiet." Suguru teased before he allowed himself the pleasure of gazing at your glistening cunt. "Oh, so pretty." He mused before leaning in to press a soft kiss to your folds.

Suguru's mind was running haywire as he generously lapped at your wet heat. He had imagined this happening so many times while he fucked his own fist. It's all finally worked out. He's finally gotten to taste you, to hear you moan his name.

Your fingers entangled in his hair, holding onto him for support while he devoured you thoroughly.

"Mmn.. Sugu~ S'close... please." You quietly whimpered out, warning him of your impending release while he slurped at your cunt, drinking down your slick as if you were a fountain of youth.

"Can you hold it, baby?" His voice was muffled as he didn't dare part from you.

"N-no, I-" You softly whine, starting to rock your hips back and forth across his tongue. You were desperate for release, nearly riding his face to get there.

Suguru tugged back away from you. "That just won't do, darling." He mumbles as he unbuttons his pants and pulls his pants and boxers down just enough. "I need your first time finishing with me to be on my cock. Think you can do that for me?"

You're quick to nod in agreement with his wish, desperately needing the approval of your alpha. You had already caught a glimpse of his size when you and Satoru first arrived. Even when soft, Suguru still isn't small. Now that he's fully hard, it's almost intimidating.

"Mmm~ such a good girl." He quietly praised as he carefully guided his cock between your slick covered folds. He held your gaze as he rubbed his tip up and down, creating a wet "schlick" noise with each movement. His poor neglected cock leaked sticky pre-cum along your core, making everything so messy.

"Bite on my hand." He instructed as he placed his hand over your mouth. "Don't want you makin' too much noise." With a small huff, you bite down onto his hand.

Humping you a few more times, Geto finally decided to push himself into you. Your body immediately went rigid as you tried to cope with the new pressure between your legs. It felt as if he was trying to split you in two, completely impaling you with his thick cock.

"Ohh~ fuuu... That's it.." Geto's voice was deeper and extremely breathy. His eyes were half-lidded as he continued to watch your facial reactions. The small tears crowding the corners of your eyes made him throb. "You're so fucking tight."

"it's not gonna fit-" You quietly whined behind the palm of his hand. Meanwhile, your fingernails were embedded into his back, decorating him with scratch marks.

"It's gonna fit, baby." He quietly reassured you as he pulled back a bit and sunk back in. Your slick coated his length, making it easier for him to push in more. "Gotta let me stretch you."

"Ngh~ ah.." Your voice cracked as your leaned your head back against the ground. Suguru's hips rolled, just barely fucking into your tight cunt. He'd add another inch with each thrust, allowing you time to gradually get use to him.

The air was filled with shushed panting and breathy whines. The sound of your sopping cunt squeezing around him was like a holy song to him. You were the only slice of heaven Geto would ever see.

He had been so caring; you hadn't even realized he was all the way in until you felt a thump towards your stomach. "Ohmygod-" The gasp fell from your mouth before you could even think to stop it. "Fuuuck... feel you right here.." You meekly murmured as you pointed towards your tummy.

"Yeah baby? Feel me all the way in there?" He humors your intoxicated speech as he's lovingly thrusting into you. "You feel so fucking good." He praised as he peppered your face in sweet kisses.

Your spongy walls cling to his dick with each soft thwack of his balls clapping against the flesh of your ass. You're completely soaked around him, allowing him to glide in and out with ease.

His fat tip was damp with sweltering pre-cum gathering at his slit. With each thrust, his tip was kissing at your womb, making you feel all dumb in the head. He occupied his mouth with kissing and sucking more love bites into your shoulders. "So good, baby... ah~ so fuckin' good." He continued to mumble praises in a pussy drunk tone.

Both of your bodies were glistening in a mix of sweat and slick. The fire raged beside you two keeping you very warm while he pumped in and out. "Can't get enough. Need more.. ngh~ M-missed you so much." He growled lowly in your ear as his tender thrusts grew sloppier - fueled by an intense need.

"Suguu~ fuck me." That little needy whine was all he needed to start forcefully pounding into you. Noise level be damned; he needed his omega on a biblical level that Satoru would never be able to understand.

Plap! Plap! Plap!

Your poor cunt was practically sobbing for him - making a complete mess between your thighs as his cock rudely drilled into you. Your back arched up off of the ground, and you could feel your eyes rolling back. It felt like you were ascending to a higher being.

Suguru caught your lips in a sloppy kiss. Strings of saliva connected your mouths like strings of fate as you muffled each others moans. "Need to knot you - f-fuck, please, let me knot you."

Your legs wrap completely around Suguru's waist. "Knot me, Sugu.. hngh~ I'm s'close.."

Suguru's legs began to shake as he could feel his balls growing heavy. Instincts completely drove him to keep fucking himself into your drooling cunt. His eyes stayed on you as he felt himself growing closer and closer to the edge.

"Sh-shit!" You hissed as your gummy walls suddenly tightened around him. The squelching noises slowed as he felt his knot starting to swell. His hands gripped onto your hips as he had to force his way deep inside your wet heat. The knot locking you two in place before he completely spilled inside you.

"Fuuucking hell..." Suguru breathed out as he stayed planted on top of you. His breath was labored as his hand brushed a few stray hairs from your face. "No one will ever take you away from me again. You're mine."

Bonus Scene!

Upon waking up the next morning on Suguru's bare chest, you sighed contently. Your body ached in the best way. Though, you knew it would only make this trek even harder.

You slowly sat up with a quiet groan. Your face was slightly sticky from sweat and drool. He had really wore you out last night.

"Morning, sleepy head." Suguru mumbled as his eyes rested upon your tired face.

"Mmm.. morning." You quietly hummed as your hands instinctively smoothed out your hair, trying to make yourself look presentable.

"Good morning, Satoru." The white-haired alpha spoke to himself in a grumpy, sarcastic tone as he stared at the two of you.

"It's too early for your attitude, Satoru." Suguru quietly laughed as he looked at his friend.

"You can deal with my attitude given what I had to deal with last night." He huffed as his lips curled into a slight pout.

"You didn't-"

"Oh, I did." He confirmed. "Oooohhh, please knot me, Sugu. Oh so big and strong!" He mocked your voice in a high pitched tone.

"Oh god, please stop." You whine as you covered your ears. A nervous laugh involuntarily bubbled up from your throat.

"Mmm, fuck. Gonna knot this tight cun-"

"That's enough, Satoru." Suguru playfully warned as he shook his head with a calm smile. It didn't bother him one bit that he heard the two of you last night because he knew that Satoru was going to hear you two again tonight as well.

Read the rest of my monstertober here !

[munsonson]

Blurb

Sunshine!Reader x Eddie Angst

She finds him eventually, leaned up against his locker with something crinkled in his hands. His hair, unkempt as it always was, drowned him in its essence, hiding his face from her. She smiles, running up to him with her familiar smile.

“Hey, Eds,” she greets, “did you want to go to that milkshake place after all?”

He doesn’t answer. In fact, he doesn’t move at all. Her eyebrows knit together in concern. She hesitantly brings up a hand to tap him on the shoulder.

“Eds? Hey, you okay?” she asks.

He looks up at her at last. He’s smiling, too, but there’s something strange about it. It was like he was forcing it. Those dimples that she always admired weren’t there. His eyes were still brown, but they didn’t crinkle at the ends. He crumples the paper in his hands even more.

“Can I ask you something, Y/N?”

It startles her when he uses her actual name instead of ‘princess’. She decides not to question it.

“Yeah?”

“Why are you trying to hard to be my friend?”

She was confused. “Huh?”

“Why are you trying so hard to be my friend?”

She was sure he was upset now, if his tone was any indication. He couldn’t possible be angry with her, could he? Did she do something wrong? Did Jonathan tip him off that she was going to ask him out tonight? Maybe she was overstepping her boundaries.

“Um, well I…I don’t really understand the question. I thought we were friends,” she says at last. That wasn’t the answer he was looking for. Now he was balling up the paper and he actually tossed it at her. It hits her forehead unceremoniously before falling to her feet. It was such a silly moment she nearly laughed. But he wasn’t. He was still forcing a smile.

“You know what I think? I think it’s time we put everything out on the table, really…examine what’s been going on here, you know?” he said. “See, I’ve made it pretty alarmingly clear that most people tend to avoid me, to the point I’m essentially Moses parting the goddam sea of jocks, cheerleaders, and even the burnouts. But for some reason…you won’t budge.”

She tilts her head. “Because I’m your friend.”

“No, it’s because I’m your charity case.” Eddie sneers. He’s not smiling anymore. “It all makes sense, I guess. Can’t find any friends outside of the pervy photographer, so you run off to take your chance with the freak, the super senior.”

“Hey,” she says, offended now. “Please don’t talk about Jonathan like that. And I don’t think you’re a freak, Eddie, what are you talking about?”

“Do you not see the people you surround yourself with?” he asks, incredulous. “Jonathan Byers, the alleged murderer turned non murderer who likes to take pictures of naked unaware chicks. And myself, who’s too stupid for graduation and too stupid to realize he’s been wasting his time on someone who wants to wipe the notion of witchy bitch off her back she’ll find two objectively worse guys just to feel better about herself.”

She had tears gathering in her eyes.

“Why are you saying all of this, Eddie? What is wrong with you?” she asks. Her voice cracks.

“Because I’m done with people using me. Alright? So do me a favor, come next year, put me in your rearview mirror. Just leave me alone,” he snaps, brushing by her.

She watches him. Her heart felt sore and heavy, her stomach nauseated and prepared to empty itself from how upset she was. Did Eddie really think she’d only befriended him to make herself look better by comparison? How could he do that? How could he throw what Jonathan did in her face? She’d told him that in confidence, not for him to weaponize it against her.

She fell into the lockers, the echoing slam not enough to deafen the sounds of her cries as she slid down onto the tiled floor. What could she do now? Should she tell Jonathan what happened, ask what she should do next?

She spots the tiny crumpled piece of paper beside her and picks it up. He’d been reading this when she approached.

Unraveling it and trying her best to smooth out the page, she reads it over. Startled, she quickly rereads it again.

It was for the parent or guardian of Eddie, explaining he’d have to repeat this term over again. He wasn’t graduating. That was why he was so upset.

Despite the words and insults he threw at her, she was still tempted to find him again and hug him. This was clearly what had him so depressed, not her. He was just letting his anger out. Even if that wasn’t right, she found it easier to forgive him now.

But she didn’t want to make him more mad. If avoiding her next year made him feel better about the whole ordeal, she’d oblige him.

[feyascorner]

So might have noticed i have read all your fics and I absolutely love them all!

If your open to taking this request for a fic, i would love like 4 times astarion was jealous and 1 time you were! (I dont know if your familiar with the prompt). Tav sleeping with someone before they get together (act 1) he’s catching feelings! After relationship is established: Act 2 Halsin showing his interest (whether its reciprocated is up to you!). Act3 Shar’s caress, the owner talking about Tav’s interest and drow twins!

Finally, Tav being jealous! Astarion fully enjoying it!

Or just anything with jealous astarion i would LIVE for! Love your work either way 😆

a/n. THEYRE SO CUTE IM IN TEARS I LOVE JEALOUS ASTARION/TAV

also this is not proofread unfortunately, and I'm not 100% if i did this right but we rock and roll!!!1

As much as Astarion boasts (and resents) his familiarity with seduction, you're an anomaly he's yet to understand despite his centuries of experience.

Never once in his courtship, even when he'd been alive, had he felt so tested that he was jealous, over someone. Not really, anyway. Sure there were bits of bitter feelings here and there, but most were trivial and about something involved in the relationship, not the person themselves.

He's counted four times since the two of you met, where he had to resort to his better judgment to avoid resorting to pettiness. The first one, was out of necessity--so much so that he didn't even realize what it was at first.

He had watched you snuggle up to Shadowheart of all people, just when he thought he'd finally manipulated enough to have you wrapped around his finger. Instead, he had to hear you laugh as you let the cleric lead you to a nearby lake, making him question if somehow, he'd gotten rusty. Especially when the rival in question was clearly too busy having a religious crisis to properly court you. Sure, you technically didn't belong to him, nor did he belong to you at the time, but he went to sleep feeling oddly irritated. He made sure to flirt with you even more, apparently, the next morning.

The second time, he had accepted the strange feeling in his chest whenever he saw you. And Gods he should have done it earlier. He made sure to show plenty of public affection, kissing your cheek or hand randomly as you and your companions explored the shadow-cursed lands. He got a mouthful from Lae'zel a few times, but he couldn't care less. And just when he believed he'd eliminated any potential rivals, the damned druid suggested that you had feelings for him. Here, he felt that same churning feeling he had weeks ago at camp, and found it was one that he didn't long for. He wouldn't have blamed you if you'd considered it--especially since the two of you stopped being physically intimate after his confession. But he could deny how much he hated this feeling. Pretending he hadn't heard, waited for you to approach him that night. When you reassured him you'd said no, he could breathe again.

The last time was weeks later, at Sharess' Caress, where the two of you were approached by the drow twins. And when he'd confessed he wasn't ready to become intimate again, as much as it scared him, you only smiled at him and nodded. That cursed warmth he felt from such a simple act of kindness would follow him to the end of his days. But he hadn't had enough time to revel in it, because the drow twins assured you only you would be enough, even if he wasn't a part of it. The moment you refused, he was already dragging you out of the room, cursing the twins under his breath.

But for the first time, he thinks you're the one experiencing that dreadful feeling of insecurity.

"Your measurements are perfect for this new selection that just came in! Here, let me just check if the rest would fit."

He'd thought little of the harmless touches of the tailor, but as he notices your expression through the reflection of one of the mirrors, he thinks differently. Your lips are pursed, eyes following the tailor's movements like a hawk as you tighten the arms crossed over your chest. Astarion himself is no stranger to touch, especially to innocent ones like this, but if your body language means anything, the sentiments are not mutual.

The tailor reaches up to measure his arm span, inevitably bring their face a little to close to his neck. He just tilts away, nodding mindlessly at what the tailor is saying, but his attention is fully on you. You're fidgeting, and your anxiousness is impossibly obvious to him, but the more mischievous part of him stops him from doing anything about it. Instead, he revels in it.

"Did you get my inside leg?" he asks the tailor, grinning widely. "I think you might have to redo it. I was leaning a bit."

The tailor agrees though all he sees is a nod of a head and a voice in his ear going right through the other. He observes as your face falls, and just as the tailor crouches down and leans close, you're immediately across the room at record-speed, hand latching over the tailor's wrist.

Astarion barely manages to hold in his laugh. His smile, however, is another story.

"I'll do it," you mumble to the tailor. They look to you and back up to Astarion before seemingly realizing what's going on, nodding.

"Very well."

He never thought you could look even more alluring than he already finds you, but the way your jaw clenches and your brows furrow makes him think otherwise. You lean down and take the measurements as needed, stomping on his foot in the process.

He snorts.

Once the tailor leaves for the stock room, he finds you sighing. "You did that on purpose."

It's not a question. He laughs, and while he could just apologize, he takes your hand in his, tilting your head with the other so you'd look at him. He might even consider the glare you give him as cute.

"Jealous, are you?"

"What do you think?"

"I was starting to think you weren't capable of jealousy."

"Why not?" you say, feeling his thumb rubs the top of your hand. "I've been plenty jealous before."

At this, he raises a brow. "I'd surely remember that."

"When we first met," you recall. "You flirted with practically everyone in camp. Saying you wanted to drink from Wyll, or something like that."

"You must know that I was--"

"I know what it was," you roll your eyes. "Not at the time though, and I thought you'd lost interest in me."

His jaw falls agape. "You're jesting."

"Why do you think I started flirting with other people? I figured you didn't like me as much as I liked you, so I moved on. Tried, at least."

"Is that what your visits to Shadowheart were?"

You scrunch your nose. "Oh Gods, I forgot about that. I'd rather not remember sleeping with one of my closest friends, thanks."

He can't help the grin stretching on his lips, and you notice, feeling yourself smile with him. "You're enjoying this far too much, Astarion."

"Please, tell me the next time you're jealous, so I'll know to keep an eye on you."

"Don't ask such ridiculous things," you retort, feigning annoyance before lifting his palm to your cheek and pressing a kiss to it. He swears his undead heart might've felt it. And just like that, the tailor returns, and you drop your intertwined hands, and he sees you shoot him a warning glare.

Acknowledging he's had enough fun teasing you today, he shrugs, and when the tailor begins showing him an array of outfits, he's not listening. Instead, he toys with the ring behind his back, making sure to commit your expression to his memory.

[rukkiya]

someone must get hurt

(diluc x reader)

“You always do this.” Diluc clenches his jaw as he passes you quickly, shoulder lightly bumping into yours as he walks in front of you.

“Do what? I just did what I was told, assisted you on your mission and-“

“Assisted me?” A forced laugh makes its way past his lips.

“Who do you think you are? Huh?” He asks, sapphire eyes burning with annoyance though worry was etched on his features.

“Diluc, please don’t start.” You sign, you felt bad already and didn’t want to argue with him. You had a minor slip up which you've apologized profusely for, but he still keeps throwing your incompetence in your face.

Your fingers play with the strange device you picked up at the abandoned camp, this was the only thing left of the supposed group that's been camping there for days now. The very one Diluc and you were sent to take care of.

“All we have to prove for ourselves is that ridiculous thing you picked up,” He shuts his eyes, hand resting on the bridge of his nose. “Why even bother bringing it? To show our failure to properly attack them? This is why I work alone.” He spits out making you feel more bad than you already do.

You stop in your tracks when you see black substance seeping from the creaks of the strange you object. You feel your body come to a halt on its own, without you even stopping your feet from moving. From your peripherals darkness creeps in and you try to call out to Diluc but your lips feel too heavy to move. In seconds darkness surrounds you, enveloping your whole being before you know it.

“You know what? You really always make things harder honestly. The reason why I asked Jean not to send you with me was so I wouldn’t have to put up with you, not for your own safety.” He laughs bitterly. “I couldn’t care less if you got hurt during a mission, you should’ve stayed back where you belong.” He scoffs, He didn’t want you here, he didn’t mean what he was saying but he was just so frustrated he doesn’t even hear himself.

“Oh great what, are you mad now? Is that it?” Diluc rolls his eyes, you weren’t replying with a comeback like you usually do.

He stops and listens, head turning around when he doesn’t hear your footsteps behind him only to see you about fifteen feet behind him, blank look on your features.

“Y/n, come on we don’t have time for this.” He sighs, looking down at his feet. He knows he’s overdone it now. He knows himself, that he can’t shut up before he says something that he knows will hurt you. He has a sharp tongue. He understands if you got upset but he felt something was off, your face was void of any emotion.

“Y/n?” He calls you again, taking a step closer since you still haven’t even moved an inch making his eyebrows draw together.

In tunnel vision you see him clear as day. Stopping, turning around and even walking towards you but you couldn’t move, couldn’t speak for that matter.

You try to move, try to make your fingers twitch, wiggle your toes, move your eyes, signal to him that something isn’t right.

You know exactly what it is, what has you under its control and it’s scaring you the longer it’s lasting, you can’t break out of it.

The Abyss, the dark magic that you felt take over you, there was no mistaking it.

“Attack him.” A shrill voice boom’s next to you and you jump in your skin, there was no mistaking this was a voice of a mage.

You feel your arm move suddenly and Diluc stops walking towards you, calling out your name a bit louder this time.

“Y/n!” He repeats, stopping in his tracks when your arm comes up and your sword materializes in your palm.

You feel the weight of your sword in your hands and you try to move your arm again but to no avail.

“Attack him! Drive your sword through his chest!” The shrill voice demands again and you almost feel like laughing at the sick demand.

“I wouldn’t dare.” You rebuttal, looking around the darkness to see if you can spot what had you under a spell. Your lips don’t move as your reply, more like your internal thoughts being spoken aloud.

“You can’t resist the right power of the abyss, let it seep into your bones and envelope your core!” The voice laughs and to your dismay you feel your legs lunge forward, sword swinging to attack.

You felt cold, sick at the realization of what was happening as it dawned on you now, the abyss mage was taking control of your body.

“Y/n hEY!” Diluc jumps back, eyes blown wide, your sword just mere inches from his chest now.

“Y/n? HEY! WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO YOU?!” Diluc’s voice rose louder as you take another big swing, your sword cutting through the bottom of his thick coat.

“What are you doing to me? Stop, please! STOP DON'T MAKE ME HURT HIM!” You scream, voice reverberating in the darkness.

You try to move your fingers, anything. You can’t even blink for archon’s sake!

“HEY WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO YOU.” Diluc tries to catch your arm but the abyss mage makes a swift move to make you out of reach from him, once again making you swing again.

“PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS.” You plead, feeling your eyes start to burn. You don’t want to hurt him, you never want to put a scratch on his body.

Sure you were pissed at him from your fight earlier but this was something else entirely. You wouldn’t forgive yourself if you ever hurt him.

Diluc doesn’t dare draw his claymore at you. He knows instantly this isn’t your doing from the tears brimming your eyes though your face still remains expressionless.

The very one he saw pouting seconds ago, he doesn’t like this at all. He’d rather have you nagging at him again, telling him off, or see that smile that he himself is too scared to admit that he fell in love with but the face you were making right now scared him. He’s never seen you wear such an expression.

“Y/n! I know it’s not you but try to listen to me!” He plants his feet on the floor, arms raised defenseless just in case you strike again.

“Diluc! DILUC!! RUN PLEASE RUN!” You plead, screaming at the top of yours lungs and he sees your lips twitch the slightest bit.

“Is this the abyss? Could it be an ambush?” He questions both you and himself, looking around the surrounding area.

He spots the device you had picked up from the camp earlier and it clicks, making him curse under his breath. He should’ve known better, shouldn’t have let you near it.

You had both just come from an mission that Jean specifically sent you two on and Diluc was against it if course, he thought you lacked ability and knowledge in both the field of fighting and strategizing but Jean told him otherwise. He himself wont admit the real reason though, he didn’t want you going was so you’d be guaranteed to stay safe in the gates of Mondstadt but once you had your mind set it was hard to make you choose otherwise, so when Jean requested you go with Diluc you couldn’t back down.

Diluc had blown up on you when you arrived at your specified location since it was clear of any tracks of the abyss order, he blamed it on you out of frustration. He was so close to getting them, making them pay for so many things they’ve done but little did you both know the abyss planned this all along.

“Y/n Listen,” Diluc is quick on his feet, grabbing onto both of your wrists to still you. “I know you can hear me, don’t let them take over ok?”His voice is stern though he’s a bit out of breath

You continue to try to move, to resist the control and once again your lips twitch making Diluc’s eyes widen.

“Yes yes! There you go just like that y/n! Listen about earlier forget it ok. All that's important at this moment is-“

“Stab him.” The abyss Mages voice cuts off Diluc’s.

You feel your arms move but hold still, resisting to the best of your ability.

Diluc feels you struggle, wrists trembling in his hands and that’s when he hears it. The faint small whimpers escaping your lips.

His heart drops when he looks up at you.

Blood ran down your chin as your bottom lips was caught between your teeth, biting down hard to try and gain as much control of yourself, even the smallest parts matter.

“-un.” You choke out, hearing it actually come from your lips making Diluc’s eyes widen in both horror and relief.

His words slap him in the face now, all the blame he’s put on you, how he told you he couldn’t care less about what happened to you, how he threw everything at your face was all going back to him. His own voice echoing in his head as he sees your struggle. You were crying, trying your hardest to stop yourself from hurting him and he let his words hurt you all day.

He doesn’t budge and you try your best to get your lips to move again. He’s always been so damn stubborn. Why is he doing this right now?

“Resisting? You fool I’ll make you do worse if you don’t heed my words.” The abyss mage hisses at your restraint, growing worried at how much you're holding back.

“RUN! DILUC I CAN'T HOLD BACK FOR TOO LONG RUN!” You scream, hearing it reverberate in the darkness again but it only comes out as another whimper to him.

He feels his own eyes start to burn now.

“I know this isn’t your doing y/n, please try to fight back, listen I- '' He swallows the lump in his throat as he feels you start to pull back a bit. “I’m sorry I blew up on you earlier, it wasn’t your fault ok? None of this was I was just being irritable, I didn’t want you here because I wanted you as far away as from any possible danger and now look, I didn't want this to-“ his mouth goes dry as you rip your arms from his grasp, hands shakily raising your sword at him.

“RUN DILUC ITS TAKING CONTROL I CAN'T HOLD BACK!” You scream seeing his arms fall to his sides loosely.

You feel your fingers twitch and try dropping the sword but it only curves back around the hilt seconds after.

Diluc remains still, he’s not leaving without you archons no.

“RUN JUST RUN PLEASE DILUC I NEED YOU TO-“

“RUN!” The ear piercing scream that leaves your throat makes the tears that brim his eyes fall free as he shakes his head no.

“Y/n i'm not- I won’t leave you until you get your senses back ok? I-I know you're capable,” he nods his head, stepping closer to you and you force your leg to take one back. “Its you, I know you can overcome this. You’d never let anyone take control come on now.” He nervously smiles at you, arms stretching to meet your again and he sees you tremble even harder.

“Attack him now! NOW DO IT BEFORE I MAKE YOU DO SOMETHING WORSE.” The abyss mage makes you lunge forward, arm slashing near Diluc’s chest but before it can touch him you swing your other arm to catch your own blade.

“Y/n what’re you-“

“IF YOU DON'T LET GO I'LL REALLY MAKE YOU DO SOMETHING YOU'LL REGRET!” The abyss mage screams, you feel your jaw go slack from being clenched and feeling some control over it once again.

“Diluc,” you whisper shakily, hand squeezing the blade in your hold to not let it slip near him. “Go back to Mondstadt for me ok? Make it back safe and tell Jean about the ambush, I- I'll meet you there, yeah?” You choke out, and he feels more tears spill.

“Don’t you dare tell me that, I'M NOT-“

“DILUC LEAVE BEFORE I CAN'T STOP MYSELF FROM DOING SOMETHING I'LL REGRET!” You scream, cutting him off and he shakes his head. He wasn’t going to let this happen. He wasn’t going to let the abyss take someone away that he loves once again.

“Stop, let go of your blade and let me take it from your hands, I won’t even do anything else you hear me? WHOEVER IS POSSESSING THEM DO YOU HEAR ME POSSESS ME INSTEAD DON'T MAKE THEM SUFFER THIS WAY!” Diluc screams, hands holding you by your shoulders, shaking you back and forth a bit.

“I can’t- not them. Not by the abyss again, please.” Diluc’s head falls foward, eye squeezing shut to stop the stupid burn he hates feeling.

You feel the warmth of his palms as they lay upon your shoulders, feel your body slightly rocking back and forth by his movements and you take your chance. The feeling on your arms only indicated that you got control over them again, but for how long wasn’t up to you. So you had to do what had to be done, to save him.

His heart aches, he’s lost his father to this same group of sick freaks now you? He can't bare it.

“Kill him or I kill you.'' The abyss mage whispers much closer than any other time it's spoken.

You stand your ground. So be it. If it was you or him that had to get hurt you wouldn't have to think twice to make the decision.

“Diluc….”You whisper and his grip on your shoulders tightens.

“NO NO!” He cuts you off, hands moving up until his gloved palms cup your face in his hands, making you look him in the eye. “ I wouldn’t dare. Stop telling me because I can't! I can't leave you here! Not after i've been so mean a-after I blamed everything on you, I haven't even apologized to you properly so im sure as hell not going to LET THEM TAKE YOUR FROM ME!” He grits though his teeth, the heat emitting from both his anger and pyro vision was intense though his hands were holding your face so gently.

“I-“ you open your mouth to speak but feel your jaw clench again, your time is up.

You really couldn't move more, the numbness spread everywhere making you unable to even blink.

“You've ignored me for too long, resisted when I told you otherwise, now the fruits of your labor will be presented right before your very eyes.” The mage laughs menacingly and you yell at the top of your lungs, you need to snap out of this trance.

“DON'T YOU DARE LAY A FINGER ON HIM! PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME HURT HI-“

Your shaking stills under Diluc’s hold, your breathing evening out too fast making his eyes dart down to yours seeing a single tear slip out before you look up blinking at him.

He almost lets out a sigh of relief until he see the corners of your mouth form into a smile that wasn't yours. It didn’t reach your eyes like it usually would, this one was forced.

“Diluc.” You call out, voice sounding much more distorted now making his heart drop.

“Nonononono.” His hold on your face still you as he feels your hands reach for his wrists, feeling you move them off, look of disgust etching your tear stained face.

He feels his heart sink even lower, he feels sick. They’ve done it, taken control, overpowered you.

“Why the sullen face now?” You laugh, the sound distant to his ears. The mage makes you jump back a few feet, making Diluc reach to grab you again but his fingers graze your arm just by a fraction of a hair.

“No please not- leave them alone I-'' The usually angry, inexpressive man was vulnerable right now, the abyss had to take their chance. After all Diluc is a hindrance to them, always attacking and ruining their plans. If they couldn’t get him they found you, the perfect candidate to take from him at least.

“Y/n please- I know your-“

“What were you saying to me earlier? Didn’t I ruin everything.” He sees your smile widen uncomfortably, your head tilting to the side making him clear his throat.

“I didn’t- it’s not you talking I know I- please don’t do this.” He held his arms out, wanting to grab you again as he tries to even out his own breathing. He wants nothing more than to find the worthless mage who has you under its control, once he finds it he swears he’ll show no mercy.

“Follow my voice y/n. You’re in there. Don’t let them take over,” He steps closer. “Just come back to me, you can do this.” His voice is much lower, from your tunnel vision you see him nearing you, his voice does reach your ears but you can’t even move in the darkness anymore.

“You can’t make me leave you alone! Jean and I have to scold you still! For being reckless as always, touching something you weren’t supposed to make her worry me worry and,” his hand reaches out to you. “So I can properly apologize to you, tell you how much I didn’t mean anything I’ve sai-

“Diluc,” you cut him off, the rasp to your voice wasn’t there making his eyes widen, stepping closer.

“It’s too late to apologize now. If you want them back so badly, take them.” the voice that left your lips wasn’t yours at all.

In an instant you feel your grip tighten around the hilt of your sword once again and feel your heart drop.

This was it, it was going to force you to hurt him against your will, make you do something you'll regret for as long as you live. You never want to hurt the man you love.

You raise your arms up, other hand gripping the hilt and Diluc lunges forward, look of horror written on his features.

You don't understand why he does, why he'll throw himself at you when you were being forced to to attack him.

Everything becomes too loud in your ears, the abyss mages laughter ringing louder and the blood coursing through your veins makes you miss the scream of agony that rips through Dilucs throat.

“Y/N NO!” He reaches out fingers just right next to your arm but the sound of your sword cutting deep into flesh is the only thing you hear before it all stops.

Everything stops. Your rapid heart beat. The abyss mages laughter, Diluc voice. Nothing can be heard.

You feel the stiffness and tension in your body leave and your vision goes white, all the darkness leaving you finally.

When your vision fully returns you're too scared to see what you've done. It takes a while to adjust your eyes but when they finally come to, you see blood running down your sword and arms.

“Y/n, Y-Y/N please, look at me!” Dilucs voice brings you back fully, you’re finally able to hear again.

You don't look up at him though, your eyes travel to see where the blood was spilling from, though you were terrified to know. You felt sick already, if this was his blood on your hands you don't know what you'd do.

Your eyes meet where the swrod was pierced into and you shakily exhale, feeling a relieved breath exit you for the first time today.

The blood was all over your clothing due to the sword piercing you through your own chest.

No wonder why the sound of skin tearing rang loud through your ears, your own sword pierced through your chest that's why it was so loud to you. The abyss mage was right, you refused to let yourself hurt Diluc so it made you hurt yourself. Though in your mind it was the better option, because if someone had to get hurt, there was no doubt you'd rather have it be you.

“Hey HEY NO! D-Dont,” You hear him choke out, one hand holding you up as the other turns you to look him in the eyes, stopping you from pulling the sword from your chest. “I'll take you back! You'll be ok just look at me ok?” He brushes the hair from your face away and has to bite down on his lip from letting another wrenching sob escape him. You look so tired, so drained.

The eyes that usually hold little to no emotion were red from crying, extenuating his fiery irises. You don't want to see him like this, not this torn. He looks like he did the day he lost his father and it made you hurt.

Why was he so sad though? This was the best outcome there could've been. He wasn't hurt and that's all that mattered.

You feel your fingers twitch, lifting your arm a bit though it feels weird after being under control for so long.

He moves to pick you up, not wasting anymore time. He's gentle as to not cause more blood to spill, though he feels his shirt being drenched with the blood spilling from you he tells himself you'll make it.

He adjusts you in his arms and feels your shaky hand caress his cheek making him stop.

“Luc, it's ok. I- I found out,” You cough feeling warm liquid hit your palm. “Found their base while it had me under its control, this mission wasn't for nothing.” You explain. As you were under control you saw small images of the scenery where the voice was coming from making you able to pinpoint their location. You didn’t let it slip though, afraid you’ll ruin the mission once again. “They're out on the shore by Falcon Coast so you can take them down now!” You wipe the tear that makes its way down his face as he shakes his head no.

“That's not what's important I have to get you bac-”

“Tell Jean. You both can go and finish this, I don't think I can,” you lay your head on his shoulder, feeling sleepy, making his legs move faster. “I won't get in our way this time just make sure you get them ok?” you assure him, feeling your eyes start to droop.

“Y/n hey look at me! Y/n I need you to stay awake ok? Please, please keep your eyes open. I'm almost at the bridge!” He pants out of breath, almost sprinting now as he sees the city come into view.

“You’re warm Luc, thank you for holding me. I was so cold earlier, I couldn't feel my body.” you nuzzel into his shoulder and feel sleep take over.

You felt darkness surround you again but this time far more inviting than earlier.

“Diluc I'm sleepy, I'm sorry I don't think I can stay awake.” you mumble, feeling more tears hit your hand as it is still laid on his cheek. You move your thumb to wipe them once again.

“Don't be mad at me, I'm sorry. Don't cry either, you're ok so Im ok.” you hum, body relaxing in his hold.

“Y/n no, hey HEY Y/N!” He screams, feeling your hand drop from his face and he sprints faster than he ever has in his life.

“Wake up, WAKE UP! Don't leave me please. This was never your fault. Listen to me, you tried your best ok? I didn’t mean what I said to you, I-I'm sorry!” He feels your body go fully limp, another heart wrenching scream leaves his lips but he squeezes you closer to him, keeping your cold body warm.

Tears of anger and regret from how he treated you earlier spill from his eyes. The sword still sticks out of your chest but he dares not to remove it himself, your blood was on his hands, all over his clothing and he hated it more than anything. But he knows you'll live, you're strong, stronger than he is in many ways and he won't let you go either. He’ll find the one who did this to you, made you hurt yourself and make them suffer. But for now he prays to the archons above that they let you live, live to see another day that you deserve, so he can apologize and hopefully redeem himself, and keep you closer though he's terrified to do so, he can't let you be taken from him, not now, not ever.

_________________

authors note: helloooo lovelies!! ꒰´꒳`∗꒱ ITS DEELOOKS (early) BIRTHDAY WOOOO HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRUMPY MAN ♪┏ ( ･o･) ┛he’s so babygirl fr I swear LMAO -0- I very much love this man he is my second fave to write for (we all know Kaeya is my #1 fave <3) BUT I LOVE WRITING ANSGST FOR THIS MAN UGHHHHH so I present to you this angsty birthday oneshot hehe ihadtodothisimsorry BUT! I do hope you all enjoy, remember to take care and stay safe!^~^<3 (ALSO! I sadly had no time to edit so sorry for any errors!)

[the0doreslover]

For the first time, part II | t.n

Theodore found himself strangely preoccupied with thoughts of you after that short encounter. He couldn't help but wonder what it was about you that intrigued him so much. Every time he saw you around the school, he felt his heart race a bit faster. He found himself looking forward to breakfast just to catch a glimpse of you, and he often caught himself daydreaming about what it would be like to have a conversation with you that extended beyond a few words.

Days turned into weeks, and Theodore's curiosity about you only grew. He discovered from his friends, Blaise and Pansy, that you were known for the way you were quite the mystery, always appearing out of nowhere and disappearing just as quickly. Theodore was captivated by your enigmatic presence.

One day, as the weather started to shift towards autumn, Theodore found himself walking alone in the courtyard after class. Lost in thought, he was startled when he heard your voice behind him.

“Lost again Nott?”

Turning around, Theodore saw you leaning against a nearby tree, a mischievous grin playing on your lips. He chuckled, surprised by how comfortable he felt around you despite barely knowing you.

"I suppose I have a tendency to wander," he replied, his lips curving into a small smile.

You pushed yourself off the tree and took a step closer. "Well, I must admit, I'm intrigued. You don’t look at me with disgust like the other slytherins… it’s nice”

"Is that so?" Theodore raised an eyebrow, genuinely curious about your perspective.

"Yeah. You're quiet, but you don't exude the same air of superiority that most of your housemates do."

He shrugged, leaning against the tree now. "I find that whole superiority thing a bit tiresome, to be honest."

You nodded in agreement. "Me too. So, what do you do when you're not wandering, Mr. Nott?"

Theodore chuckled. "Well, I enjoy spending time in the library, reading and researching various subjects. And I have a penchant for painting."

"Painting, huh? I wouldn't have pegged you as the artistic type."

He smirked. "Appearances can be deceiving, don't you think?"

You laughed, the sound light and pleasant. "Touché. Well, maybe you can show me some of your paintings someday."

"I'd like that," he admitted, feeling a warmth spread through him at the thought. "And maybe this time Hermione won't drag you away from me," he laughed.

As the conversation continued, Theodore found himself opening up to you in a way he hadn't with others. Your easygoing nature and genuine interest in him put him at ease. It was a feeling he wasn't used to, but one he welcomed wholeheartedly.

Little did he know that this conversation marked the beginning of a deep and unexpected connection between the two of you.

Over the following weeks, you and Theodore's friendship blossomed into something more profound. Your witty banter and shared interests formed a strong foundation, and the mysterious air that surrounded you only intrigued him further.

As the months flowed by, the bond between Theodore and you deepened. Each passing day seemed to lock in the connection you shared, an unspoken understanding. The initial curiosity that had drawn you two together evolved into something more profound—an undeniable closeness.

Conversations that once centered around casual topics soon dived into the depths of your hopes and dreams. Theodore found himself sharing his aspirations with you, discussing his fascination with magic's intricacies and the fervor he felt for painting. And you, in turn, bared your soul, revealing your desire for adventure, a hunger to explore.

One serene evening, with the sun casting its last rays across the Hogwarts grounds, you and Theodore stood by the Black Lake. The water flowed, reflecting the fading light, while a gentle breeze tousled your hair, intertwining it with the sweet scent of blooming flowers.

“i haven’t drink anything for weeks” you said looking at the boy who looked almost painted

“i’m glad” he smiled

“i think… we should play shot trivia” you said hopefully

“absolutely not… for all i know you could end up at the hufflepuff table with cedric diggory”

you both laughed

"Have you ever wondered about your path after Hogwarts?" you asked, your gaze lingering on the horizon.

Theodore leaned against a nearby tree, a thoughtful expression playing on his features.

"I've given it thought. Continuing my studies, perhaps looking into obscure branches of magic, and certainly nurturing my love for painting."

Turning to him, a playful grin tugged at your lips.

"So, a wizard with a penchant for artistry? Quite the intriguing combination."

A soft chuckle escaped him. "Appearances can indeed be deceptive. And what about you? What do you envision for your post-Hogwarts days?"

A wistful sigh escaped your lips, and your gaze grew distant. "I've always been more captivated by the present than the future. Yet, I can't help but entertain the idea of traveling."

Theodore nodded in agreement. "That sounds like an awe-inspiring adventure."

Silence settled between you, and Theodore felt a surge of courage, a yearning to confess the feelings that he could no longer suppress.

"Y/n," he began, his voice tender, "there's something I've been wanting to share with you."

Turning toward him, curiosity lit up your eyes.

"What is it, Theo?"

Taking a deep breath, he traced intricate patterns on the tree's bark, the words forming in his mind.

"Every moment spent with you has shaped my life in ways I never even realised till recent. From the minute you sat next to me at the Slytherin table, I haven't been able to think of any name but yours."

Your eyes widened, and the world seemed to still. Then, a smile bloomed across your face. "Theodore Nott, are you implying that you have a crush on me?"

He smirked, his cheeks warming. "I suppose you could say that."

Your grin widened, and you stepped closer, a playful glint in your eyes. "You know, Theodore, I've been secretly hoping you'd say that."

He blinked, amusement filling his eyes. "You were?"

Your nod was accompanied by an unwavering gaze. "Absolutely... I've been feeling the same way too."

Relief and contentment surged through him, and a genuine smile graced his lips. "Really?"

A playful smile accompanied your response. "Definitely. I guess we've been dancing around these feelings for quite a while, haven't we?"

Theodore chuckled, his nerves giving way to a sense of reassurance. "Seems that way."

Reaching out, you gently took his hand in yours, your fingers intertwining with an easy familiarity.

"So, what's the next chapter, Mr. Nott?"

Theodore stared at your face, the way the sun hit it in just the right way made heat rush to his face. In that heart-stirring moment, he leaned in, his heartbeat echoing the anticipation in his chest. He pressed a tender, lingering kiss to your lips.

"I say we travel around the world, I'll draw you in every country we visit."

"Promise?" you asked.

"Promise," he confirmed before placing another sweet kiss on your lips.

“so still a no to shot trivia?”

“still a no”

“okay just checking”

[aranelp]

So for Akainu, Kuzan and Kuzaru. How would they deal with realization they got a crush on a pirate? Bonus if pirate likes to annoy them.

Loving a pirate

A/N: It's here hope you like it ✨! Sorry I was busy so it takes me a little bit time to write that! 🫶🫶 Summary : 3 admirals, how they would deal with realization that they got a crush on you, a pirate + You annoy them Characters : Akainu, Kuzan and Kizaru

Akainu

At first he doesn't understand why, why he is so obsess toward you.He says to himself that it's just because you are another damn pirate and you annoyed him so much. He always asks to his subordinate where have you been seen the last time, when the Marine know which you are he say that he will deal with that himself. He feels something strange, strange in his chest. And he really doesn't like it. And one day Akainu thinks about it, thinks about why he really doesn't like heard your name on someone lips, why you are always in his mind. And he understands, it was hard to him to admit but he clearly got a crush toward you. Oh damn that pissed him off to find that. He really wants to burn himself, how a marine can love a pirate? Especially HIM. He has a reputation. He was so angry toward himself. Akainu wants to avoid his feelings, but he start acting…weird. So when he can have an occasion to chase you, you will be sure he will be here. For him it's hard because he doesn't really want to… hurt you. Even if his jobs and reputation need to put you in jails. So you clearly see that he doesn't put all of his strength when you have to fight. "Did the great Akainu be weak toward me?" You say to tease him. "Shut your damn mouth!" He bites his cigar with a rough voice and clearly pissed off because of her.

"Should I say to a journalist that the admiral Akainu is weak toward a pirate?" You add "Keep your mouth close you damn pirate" Akainu answer.

Akainu is so much pissed off, because you annoy him and because you are right, he is weak toward you. He was so mad to himself, also because he can't control his feelings, it's a rare thing that he doesn't have control on. This game will continue for a long time, he is chasing you and don't succeed to arrest you, and you will keep annoy him.

Kuzan

He feels that something was… strange about you, he takes some times to think about it and will quickly understand what's going on. He has a crush on you. It put him in an uncomfortable situation because you are a pirate. But in reality this doesn't really care about that. Its not really a problem for him.So he will start to investigate a little to know just where you are. Sometimes, without telling to someone, like he does not care about the others, he will take his bike and go to a little trip on many islands in case that maybe He will find you. And when each other we will mett back, be sure that you can try to annoying him as much as you want, he will have good repartee. Every time. Be prepared because he DEFINITELY flirt with you. He really does not care if someones seeing him flirting with a pirate. "Seems that you are everywhere I go ? Want an autograph ?" You say to him

"Well, it's hard to keep away my eyes in front of a beautiful woman. I wouldn't' mind' mind for an autograph" He will answer with a smirk on his face.

He finds that amusing, you try to annoy him and him flirting with you. He enjoys this relation. If the other marines see you together and him flirting with you, they will clearly annoy him. Oh god like he really doesn't care, it will make him chuckles.

Kizaru

It takes him some times, like yes really long moment, to understand that he has a crush on you. At first he was just thinking his mind was on you because like you are a pirate. But he understands because it's more than that. At the beginning he'll be a little annoyed, he can't have feeling toward you. But we can't control feelings, that's what he will said to himself. But after he will clearly be amused by that, even if he knows it would be a one-way love, he doesn't really care. N one will really find his little secret, he is so chill as always and don't really show that much his feelings. You will be his target for annoying and teasing you. So if one day by chance you will be one the same place he will find you quickly.Of course not to arrest you, like he will never do that. Even if you want to annoy him, it will just turn into a game, which will annoy more the other.

"Ohhhh~ where this little thing she will go?"He will say with a big smile.

"Want something the monkey of the Marine? ?" You say, confident.

So a teasing game will start, he has very good repartee, he will laugh a little and slowly to your answer toward him. He likes to play that with you and share this little moment.Even if most of the times you have to exchange some blows. But he knows you are good fighter so you would manage to fight and tease with him. So that would be his way to manage his crush toward you, share some little moment sometimes with teasing, he will observe by the information that he could have in the Marine what did you do.

[undiscovered-horizon]

"Embroidery" - Kaz Brekker x Reader

SUMMARY: Gloves are important to Kaz - it's the only way he can relatively safely interact with the outside world. They are also slightly more privileged than you as they can accompany him anytime and anywhere. To aid this inequality, you stitch a white primrose onto one of his gloves: Someone waits for you to come back.

WORDCOUNT: ~ 1.2k

>>Grishaverse-inspired playlist<<

☽ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ☾

There was something wicked in your patient anticipation for this moment like a predator that seems to have all the time in the world while waiting for the prey to breathe its final breath. But contrary to a pouncing lion, you had to remain inconspicuous until your plan has been brought to life. That shouldn’t come as a surprise - Kaz Brekker is a lot more wary than a dying gazelle. 

You’re used to Kaz being somewhat restless and uneasy but today he’s jumpy. Usually, when he comes to visit you at your home, he allows you to come incredibly close to him and he doesn’t shy away from touching you. This time, however, something’s wrong. Unintentionally, he’s holding one of his hands away from his body - the same way one does upon cutting their finger. Hanging his coat and hat, he’s using mostly only one of his hands as though he did hurt himself earlier that day. Then, when you reach out to help him, Kaz suddenly flinches away from you.

With eyebrows knitted close together, you’re watching his bizarre act. Over the time you’ve known him, he’s come to you bloodied and beaten but never… averse. That’s when you notice the tiniest detail that, truthfully, you’ve been waiting to appear but maybe without this whole strange change in his demeanour: his left glove is pierced through, revealing pasty skin underneath.

“There's a hole in your glove,” you state. You’ve imagined this very scene so many times, you simply have to play your part perfectly in spite of the excitement bubbling in your chest.

Kaz gives you a quick glance but it's enough for you to notice the nervousness and uneasiness in his eyes. He’s clearly on edge, barely clinging to sanity. “I’m aware,” he answers in a shaky voice.

“Let me fix it for you.”

“I can do this myself, thank you.”

“Come on, I can tell you’ve been through a lot already. When was the last time you ate? Or slept?”

Kaz clenches his jaw. Reluctantly, he takes off his left glove and hands it to you. In a vain effort to appear a lot more laid-back than he truly is, he puts his bare palm into the pocket of his pants.

“It’ll be over before you know it.”

You disappear around the corner, leaving him to his own devices. Without anything better to do, too restless and shaken up, Kaz just sits down on the edge of the sofa. He rests his elbows on his knees and places his chin atop his fists, staring into the corridor you have just disappeared in.

After a moment, his eyes begin to wander around the living room. What caught his eye the first time he came here is the amount of knick-knacks gathering dust. Windowsill, table, mantlepiece, windowed cupboards - items he’s never seen moved or used. For the longest time he couldn’t understand why you’d leave this clutter around but the better he’s got to know you, the more he understood. All of those useless things are like postcards sent by the people you care about: ‘Life goes on and maybe we don’t talk as much as we used to but I’m thinking about you’. There was a time when Kaz felt envious of the knick-knacks as their immovable character is to your life like a scar is to skin. But then he realized his position is much better. He’s here, after all. His presence in your life can not be limited to a porcelain doll or a cross-stitch of the port in Os Kervo. Kaz is not a scar but more a knife that’s still slicing open a wound. Maybe he’s even more than that - maybe he’s a blade piercing and penetrating your body. And the only way to live is to leave the knife in to stop the bleeding, despite the pain it brings.

Thinking about knives and porcelain dolls, he doesn’t notice you come back at first. Only when you speak up does he shake away from his slightly macabre thoughts:

“I fixed your glove.”

In a strangely panicked manner, Kaz almost snatches back his garment. He’s quickly putting in on and when he turns his wrist to examine your sewing, his breath hitches in his throat.

He recognizes the flower almost immediately. The white and yellow petals make him remember a painting he’s seen somewhere, although Kaz can’t be sure where exactly but that doesn’t matter. What he is certain of, however, is the scenery presented on the canvas: an army marching out of Os Alta. Women run after men in uniforms, shoving white primroses in their hands. Silently, they beg the Saints, generals and kings to let their husbands, fathers and sons return home safely. Maybe a frail flower is nowhere near enough to protect a soldier from a Fjerdan or a Shu Han highlander but it’s the only thing they can do for the men they love so desperately.

“A little silly, I know,” you interrupt the tense silence. “I just wanted you to have something to remind you of me.”

What a stupid thought, that he could ever forget you.

Kaz clears his throat. “Thank you,” he answers slightly awkwardly. He wants to say something meaningful to you, make it known that not only does he understand your thoughtful gesture but he also shares the sentiment: ‘As long as you’ll have me, I’ll always come back. Even if I have to cross the world tenfold or fight death itself,’  he wishes to say, ‘The days I spent without you are mere existence, not living.’ Nonetheless, Kaz can’t force words of vulnerability past his lips.

For a moment he thinks a shadow of disappointment dances across your beautiful face. It pains him, even if untrue. If only he could make his doting known…

“Anytime,” you say casually with a slight shrug of shoulders.

Time seems to slow down significantly as he’s watching you smile softly at him and promptly leave the room, heading to the kitchen to make tea. If he could, he’d spend entire days just watching you calmly go about your life. Sometimes, when he’s staring at you doing mundane things, he swears he can almost figure out why he’s so drawn towards you as though his downfall began with the way you hold the bread knife or carefully stir your coffee. One day he’ll know how come you’ve tied and bonded his very soul to you, he’s sure of it. 

He looks down at the glove again. The small, white flower makes his chest sting. Maybe there is, after all, a way for him to show you his devotion without using words.

If Kaz Brekker was a better man, he’d think of the white primrose as a reminder to be careful and wary, to choose his battles wisely. Alas, he’s nothing short of a crook and the flower begs him to be callous and merciless, to become feral and willing to do absolutely anything to find his way back to you; like raging seas that relentlessly wash tall cliffs until the soil gives in and landslide falls into the deep, dark abyss. 

He can’t be a lighthouse so he settles for a wildfire.

[winterlynightlystories]

My nocturnal serenade

Tw; Sukuna being Sukuna I guess. Angst!

Do not copy or steal my work please

Sukuna/Sorcerer!Male!Reader

Note; I had this story in mind for a long time. Probably will make a part two! I just wanted some angst with our favourite curse.

Summary; Facing your tomb, Sukuna still remembers you a thousand years later. Yet, you still find a way to surprise him.

~~~~~~

Standing there, on the doorstep of your tomb, stuck in a kid's body, Sukuna felt strangely numb. Of course, he knew you could not still be alive after a thousand years. After all, you were nothing but a mortal.

His mortal.

His sworn enemy.

His greatest and dearest lover.

Your smell and the sound of your heartbeat haunted every second of his awakening, leaving a hole in his existence. Freedom had, somehow, lost its taste. Because what was freedom if you weren't here to fight him? To taunt him and force him to surpass his own limits?

Sukuna almost grunted, feeling Yuji poke at his cheek where his eyes normally opened. The kid was a pain in his ass. Somehow the damn kid had provoked him enough that Sukuna had, accidentally, mentioned you.

And of course, the brat had run to Gojo Satoru before Sukuna could force him to silence.

And now here they were. Forcing themselves inside your last resting place. It felt so wrong. A feeling Sukuna wasn't used to and hated.

- “My, my! Look at that door!” exclaimed Gojo, a big smile plastered on his face.

- “Senseï, what door?” asked Nobara, pointing at the rock slab against the ground. “That's just a big rock.”

Sukuna felt anger rise inside him. How dare she, a worm, judge it? He could remember you whining about your family's luxurious tomb and how you hated it. You just wanted a humble grave. Nothing fancier than a commoner would get. He didn't understand at first, because you deserved so much more than a hole in the ground.

‘At last, no one shall find and disturb me.’ you had told him.

And it was true until now. Could he really let those rats desecrate your tomb?

- “ Yeah, doesn't look like it. The guy was apparently humble enough to refuse to be buried with the rest of his family.” replied Gojo, cracking his fingers. “I call bullshit. Pretty sure by opening it, we will find one or more of Sukuna's fingers.”

- “Why?” the question came from Megumi who stared at the tomb.

- “Why? But because he was a traitor of course!” exclaimed Gojo, chuckling.

For a second, Sukuna only saw red.

The next, his fist hit Gojo Satoru right on the jaw, sending the sorcerer flying back a couple of yards. By his side, both of Yuji's friends screamed the name of their senseï. And as fast as he got it, Sukuna lost control of his vessel's body.

- “Oh my God, Senseï! I'm so sorry!” Yuji's voice was disgustingly guilty.

Again, Sukuna didn't care. He just couldn't let that piece of shit talk badly about you. Not after everything you did for those fuckers you called friends or family.

Not when he could remember your last conversation together.

Your last request.

His faces rested against your naked chest, ear pressed hard to listen to your heartbeat. He wanted, no, needed to hear it one last time and memorize it. For this was the last time you two would be together. The next time, you would fight until one died.

The silence was heavy, and Sukuna savoured the feeling of your fingers playing with his hair and the heat of your body against his. Then, you had to talk.

- “Sukuna, I want you to kill me.”

- “What?”

- “You heard me right.” you chuckled, pulling his hair playfully. “Only one of us shall stand, the next time we met. And I do not want it to be me. I made my part, now I want to rest. I'm tired of fighting.” You slapped his shoulder before adding; “Imagine how much fear they will all have? They won't call you ‘King’ anymore, but God. Wouldn't you like it? It sounds so nice.”

It did sound nice. But only on paper, because the only thought of your lifeless body laying on the cold ground made him upset. Sukuna couldn't bare the thought.

-” Oi, are you listening to me?”

-”Yes.” he replied, his arms closing tighter around you.

Your hand stopped playing with his hair and came resting against the nape of his neck. He heard you sigh.

-”You do not like my idea, do you?”

-”I would rather have you by my side forever than lose you to the cold embrace of Death.” he said, lips moving against your skin. He felt you slap his shoulder again.

-”If I was a curse, I’ll make those legs my necklace!” you said, kicking his legs.

-”And if you were a curse, I’ll let you!” he chuckled, feeling you laugh.

-”As if!”

-”Oi! Are you calling me a liar?” he asked, falsely offended.

-” Well, I’m not calling you a truth-teller.”

At that, Sukuna smiled.

-”But, I am serious. I wish to die by your hand. Life without you will be boring. You are the only good fighting partner I have.”

-”Let’s make a deal. I’ll accept at one condition; if I’m vanquished first, eat my heart so I can be by your side until your last breath.”

-”And you eat mine if I die first.” you replied and Sukuna could swore he heard your smirk in your voice.

-”You got yourself a deal.”

-”You know... The sound of your legs as a necklace sound pretty tempting.”

-”Shut up!”

And again, you laughed. At the moment, it was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard.

Gojo walked back to the group, his blindfold gone and blood dripping from his split lips. Yuki wouldn't shut up and kept saying he was sorry and asking his teacher if he was fine. The cruel and cold smile on the sorcerer's only told Sukuna that Gojo had all anticipated.

- “Ah! Don't worry Yuji. It only proves my point.” The blue eyes stared at the one Sukuna had opened. “So he really was your whore, huh?”

- “He was less a whore than you. Own many prostitutes did you whore yourself to? I'll bet more than you have hair on your head.” Sukuna barked, voice growling. If only he was truly in control!

- “Sorry!” said Yuji, slapping the demonic mouth.

After that, the group returned to the tomb. Again, Sukuna hated it. You just wanted to rest, be left alone. Now, he had to stand there, powerless, and let them do as they pleased.

A part of him also refused to see your remains.

His last memory of you was of your bloody body. Of the plead in your eyes as your lips mouthed ‘please’ and he mouthed back ‘I can’t. He had seen the chock, then the understanding in those beautiful eyes of yours.

Powerless, Sukuna could only watch them take the rock slab away. With one look to the inside, pure joy filled him and Sukuna burst laughing.

-”Senseï, what does it mean? Where’s the body?” asked Yuji as he jumped in the hole, grabbing the only thing the tomb held. “What is that?”

The kid showed the object; one big monstrous heart carved in black stone and fused to it, another heart, but human.

- “Troubles. A lot of it.” said Gojo, grave, his eyes on Sukuna's mouth and eye.

[yuri-is-online]

Hello author!! Congrats on 500 followers! I love the way you wrote "Plead the Fifth", Floyd's callback to the Portfest event was my favorite part. If its okay, can I pls request prompt 12 with Jade, Riddle, and Jamil? Thank you! 🫶💙

12. You had a wonderful time dancing and flirting with someone at the ball, only to find out from your friends the next day that was your crush. And you have no idea if they knew it was you they were dancing with.

Bless you for catching that friend I was a bit worried no one would know what I was talking about. I thought it was so funny how offended they all got at being called adorable! other than Rook but yk

EDIT: I straight up did not realize I wrote this for Riddle twice oh my fucking god. I'm so sorry please feel free to message me with a separate request I am so sorry again my brain is fried.

notes: they/them used for Yuu. Severe violations of privacy and playing with emotions for Jade, and Jamil is fresh out of clown school, let us pray. I was listening to dancing with a stranger on loop while writing this so sorry if they're a bit angsty. The other event requests can be found on my masterlist here.

Jade

"Look." Jade is smiling and Azul has a tension headache. "You see how they've played this particular song fourteen times today? They're going to try and switch things up and listen to something else after the sixteenth loop but-"

"What in the hell does this have to do with anything?" Azul asks to be charitable, he already knows what this is about. Or he thinks he does anyway.

"I was wondering if you would be so kind as to add it to the playlist for the Lounge. Just for tonight." There is a really strange tone to Jade's excitement, almost like he has no idea what he is doing and is just as thrilled by that as he was whatever brought him home in such a... state last night.

"Because if I don't you'll add it yourself and give Floyd back the password to the account?"

"I am so very glad we could reach a mutual understanding." Of course Jade has a plan, it had started formulating the instant he saw you dressed up for the formal Crowley had put together.

Boring. That's what this night was supposed to be. These masks were supposed to hide people's faces, sure but he knows them too well. Maybe if this was a different school where people were less predictable- But then there was you, and all his reason fell away.

"May I have this dance, stranger?" He is surprised you accept, delighted with how natural it feels to follow his lead. He was expecting this to be much, much harder.

"I was wondering when you were going to ask." You sound shy, flattered even, without the defensiveness he usually associates with the lead up to your trysts. Could it be- "I thought I felt someone watching me." -you do not know. The mask has worked for one lucky eel.

"Ah prefect," he greets you as usual, with a bow and a gesture to an empty seat "always so good to see you at the Mostro." This time he has selected a booth out of the way, towards the back and far too big for just one customer. Pity you hadn't brought those small fry with you, he was so looking forward to letting Floyd play with them. "Did you come here with something in mind? Or shall I make a suggestion?" You are so nervous you don't notice that he has failed to give you a menu until you finally bother to look up at him.

"I really just came here to talk..." how painful, you are looking away again. Jade is sure he is the best looking fish here, if you are that desperate to see him in the water he can certainly improvise.

"I am always willing to lend a sympathetic ear." He bends at the waist to hover his face just above yours, so close that you are force to return your eyes to his again. He watches as your pupils dilate and breath catches as the music in the lounge plucks a familiar song as if his magic lets him read minds.

"Go fuck yourself." It's missing the venom he'd like but as he traces your jawline with his gloved hand directly over the lipstick stains he'd left last night he thinks to himself that he is just fine with that. Jade is not in the mood to share your fire, it is such a rare thing for a mer to see after all.

"I would much prefer to leave that to you." He kisses you, quickly before you can fully ignite and waste your precious sparks on the public. "Funny story actually, I had such a nice time at the Masquerade last night I thought we should have ourselves another little date tonight. Do be gentle with me, I only had so much time to prepare." But waste or no he cannot deny himself the satisfied laugh that spills from him when you yank him back into a kiss and prevent him from running his mouth. Just what is he to do with you? Oh he has so many ideas...

Jamil

"Ha I thought I'd find you here." Jamil does his best to ignore Ace's voice, instead focusing on the hoop and sinking his throws into the net. Forty-One. "Aww not gonna ask any questions?" Forty-Two. "You know they talked to me. They always do." Forty-Three. "Said some reeeeeeal interesting stuff." Forty-Four. "Mushy too. Like seriously, you should both just get over yourselves and-"

Forty-Five. Jamil purposefully bounces the ball off the ground hard, not even bothering to watch Ace scramble to avoid it before shoves his face into his towel as if it can wipe away his embarrassment as well as his sweat.

"They are better off not knowing." He catches the ball Ace tries to hit him with, taking a little delight in how annoyed his junior looks before he realizes that it isn't going away as quickly as Ace's other pouts.

"Seriously? Where'd you get that idea from?" He sounds angry, Jamil has to remind himself and the seething pit in his stomach that Ace is Yuu's... friend. They are just friends who spend a lot of time alone. Alone together. Alone together inside a dormitory where Yuu live practically alone, a lot of times on nights when Jamil is alone in Scarabia with preparations for a party you aren't guaranteed to attend unlike those Unbirthday Party's Riddle has that you are at so much you might as well be part of his dorm.

Not that Jamil thinks about that a lot or is thinking about that at all when he gives Ace his best "superiority" complex smile.

"They were willing to make out with a stranger behind some thick curtains, clearly they don't have any strong feelings for anyone in the school and I would just be-"

"Has it ever occurred to you that you are responsible for this situation in the fucking first place." This isn't normal jokey Ace. Normal "girls just wanna have fun Ace," no this is Ace as serious as Jamil wishes he always would be during... anything at all really. Funny how that side only ever seems to come out when he needs to distract someone. Funny how the pit is screaming how it only ever comes up when he is talking about you. "You get close to them one day, then you insist you can't talk to them because you are too busy taking care of Kalim. You give take advantage of them not being from Twisted Wonderland to give them things anyone would recognize as being romantic gifts but roll your eyes at the idea when confronted. Seriously it is a miracle they still like you and didn't think to try getting over you sooner."

Yuu is kissing him. They have what they can grasp of his face in their hands and are kissing him so painfully slowly. It's too much to bear, he can't keep to his senses and denial. Jamil pulls them further behind the curtains and kisses them. For one brief incandescent moment he allows himself to believe this is fated. That if the masks were gone, that if you were under the Scarabia curtains you would be holding onto his shirt just as tightly.

"You told them didn't you?" Ace doesn't bother to actually answer, the footsteps echoing down the hallway as he goes to leave answers Jamil’s question for him.

You are always beautiful.  His breath catches in his throat when he sees you, the pit swallowing itself as he realizes the urgency to the speed at which you close the gap but pause just before making it into his personal space.

“Can we talk?��  Ace’s words from earlier echo in his mind.  Has it ever occurred to you that you are responsible for this?

“Of course.”  He purposefully places the basketball back onto the rack he had been using as an excuse to center himself.  “Would you let me take you to dinner?”

“No.”  You sound as if you hate yourself for saying it, but the instant it leaves your lips he smiles.  “No, I need you to tell me here because I can’t stand this stupid game of you taking your insecurities out on me.  Just what do I need to do for you to understand…”  Your nerve seems to be failing you now that he’s right in front of you.  But he isn’t cruel enough to make you wait.

“I like you.”  It’s not all of what you want to hear, and not all of what he wants to say.  But he’s in a sweaty gym uniform and you look like you’ve been crying.  Apologies are best made with food, and he loves you well enough to know your worry’s been eating at your apatite as much as it has his.

[cityzenshark]

Terran Mirage with Malto Terrans -- Jawbreaker

1 - Hashtag | 2 - Twitch | 3 - Jawbreaker | 4 - Nightshade | 5 - Thrash

(disclaimer: this is a fanfic, don't take it seriously with the canon)

[A.N: the full story is now fixed! Enjoy reading!]

Mom said hugs heal all hurts yet told Jawbreaker not to give Mirage a hug unless he asks, which didn't look like it'll happen anytime soon. So how can Jawbreaker help make the Diaz Terran get comfortable with the Maltos?

“Let him help you find an alt mode,” Hashtag suggested, “with the power of cinema!” she gestured at the video camera JB was holding.

The next thing Jawbreaker knew he was holding Dad’s tablet reading interview questions prepared by Hashtag while Mirage sat next to him, confused out of his mind.

Even though the whole take went awkwardly, Mirage shared that he simply wanted his alt mode to look pretty and that he did not think much of its function. Having a pretty alt mode sounds nice, thought JB, but he did not want it to be just pretty. He wanted his alt mode to be… He has no idea.

So Hashtag brought him and Mirage to see Megatron and Elita-One.

Though still feeling lost, JB took Elita’s advice to spark that his alt mode didn’t need to be a vehicle. He also noticed that she kept staring strangely at Mirage to which he asked her about it. The Autobot answered it was nothing.

After Nightshade chose an owl alt mode, it clicked to Jawbreaker that he could choose to have a beast form. However, every large animal photo he went through did not resonate his spark still. While his siblings stop pushing him to keep searching, Mirage kept suggesting whatever large animal that seemed most suitable for JB. He appreciated it a lot but his indulgence ran out of enthusiasm eventually.

On one late night Jawbreaker went to the cow paddock alone, his mind empty whilst his spark continued to long for an alt mode he has yet to have. He thought he’d be alone with the cows. To his surprise, Mirage was there as well, staring longingly at the night sky.

“What are you doing?” asked JB.

“Night sky-watching.” Mirage answered.

“You mean stargazing?” Twitch and Thrash said they’ve done it many times before knowing how to sleep.

“No. I’m looking at everything in the sky. The moon, the clouds and the stars, too.”

It made sense. “Can I join?”

Mirage appeared hesitant. “I don’t want to talk right now…”

“It’s okay. We can night sky-watching together.” Jawbreaker heard from Dad that if someone didn’t want to talk didn’t always mean they were refusing company. Maybe Mirage needed one now.

It turned out he did. He thanked the bulky Malto and two watched the night sky for hours on end.

They did it again on the following night after Bumblebee’s ruined race (after Twitch hurt Mirage). And again to calm down after the not-so-peaceful lesson at the Spacebridge Memorial. And for the last time when Mom and JB’s sisters brought him back after the terrifying incident in the city, this time with Hashtag and Nightshade accompanying them both.

Jawbreaker couldn’t understand why Thrash did not like Mirage Diaz. The ‘envy’ in their link hurt. His triplets agreed. Hashtag was very upset at Thrash whereas Nightshade advised her and JB to not be harsh on their big brother even though Nightshade was upset at him, too.

On the day when Mirage was about to leave with his family for New York, Jawbreaker promised to inform him whenever he finally gets an alt mode. When they meet again weeks later, the now orange and spiky JB ran to him in excitement and transformed.

“My favorite dinosaur!” Mirage hugged stygi Jawbreaker by the neck and squealed in pure delight. Jawbreaker curled tighter to the embrace, feeling happy himself.

[derww]

DAY 25: VOID

At first, she thinks that she got something wrong. Because- of course, they are sick in their heads, but it can't be- maybe she missed anything? Maybe it's a figurative expression?

 

– What? What do you mean? – she asks, feeling as if the carpet had been torn out from under her feet...

 

– Well, yes, – Bacon confirms, – this is the last part of the initiation. It's like a trust fall. It may be difficult for you at first, but it's a matter of practice. We are already doing it pretty well overall. If we are not being thrown, of course. There's usually just not enough time to focus.

 

She looks around, trying to figure out if Bacon is serious. Mapicc does not pay any attention to the conversation, staring at the communicator, and Zam, on the contrary, glares at her, smiling broadly and as if barely restraining himself. She is surprised that at this point he has not yet started to put empty rails next to them and shoot them.

 

She laughs nervously.

 

– And how do you do it? Can you demonstrate?

 

– Sure, why not, – Bacon shrugs. A voidhole is right in front of them, and the void begins just several blocks below, and he comes close to it, calmly peering into the void, and then turns around at her. – Look, Jumper, everything is quite simple. Do you remember how the Abyss came into contact with you? It happens when you're, you know, in such a special state of relaxation and openness, right? Do you understand what I mean?

 

– Yes, yes, of course, – she babbles. She has no idea what he is talking about. The Abyss has never spoken to her – and she has never actually tried to get in touch with her.

 

– Well, basically yes, – Bacon agrees, – you need to get in touch with her, the stronger the bond, the better. As long as the Abyss sees you as her adeptus, she will accept you.

 

Imperceptibly and imperturbably, as if doing nothing unusual, he jumps down without turning around, and she runs to the edge, and Bacon is there – standing on a missing surface, in the air, on the void, and he is not even wearing elytra. He looks like it's something completely routine – he walks around for a bit and then turns around at her.

 

– Did you understand how? – he asks distantly. He's bouncing a little bit. – We need to do this more often. That's cool.

 

Zam rushes past her and, laughing, jumps after Bacon, and visibly effortlessly stays on the surface of the border. While she stares at both of them, calmly strolling through nonexistent matter, feeling fear clutching her chest, Mapicc jumps too – he lands between Bacon and Zam and then yawns – either from fatigue, or boredom altogether. Standing on the void. Being one step away from death. Being supported only by a chthonic deity with unknown motives and practices. Icy sweat flows on her back.

 

– It's your turn! – Zam shouts to her as if they were not standing ten blocks away from her, – don't be afraid, just give yourself up to enter and jump!

 

That's what she realizes at this moment: she can't. She had never even heard the Abyss, not even as a whisper or suggestion, as surface contact with it was described. She didn't stand a chance. She's already lost. And they didn't even try to buy it, did they?

 

– Yes, give me a little more time! – She answers and forces herself to pull herself together. She was infinitely far away from the divine bullshit, but right now she just needed to make herself feel like one of the Abyss members. It's not so difficult. She knew how to play a role, after all.

 

She just needs to- yes. She is a member of the Abyss. She looked into the Abyss and saw its deepest charms and spoke to her. She is an adepus dedicated to her goddess and the fulfillment of her will and was endowed with knowledge and abilities for it. She is devoted to the Abyss and devoted to her team, who saved her from loneliness and gave her a new home and purpose...

 

She feels a faint prick on the top of her head. She gets a strange and incomprehensible feeling of lightness. This body is both hers and not hers at all, and all the muscles are relaxed in it. She's definitely in a trance. Is this what was expected of her?

 

She slowly walks to the very edge and looks distantly at the people standing below. For some reason, she feels absolutely nothing. A whisper in an unfamiliar language covers her ears.

 

She jumps, and it's so easy to understand the moment when she reaches the height of the border – she can almost see the surface itself, absolutely transparent, reminiscent of itself rather by the sensation and movement of shadows – and she's going to join the members of the Abyss, but for some reason absolutely nothing picks her up, and she falls like a stone. She doesn't have enough time to put on her elytras.

[visibleclosedeyes]

✧ᴀ ᴛʜᴏᴜꜱᴀɴᴅ ʏᴇᴀʀ ᴠᴏʏᴀɢᴇ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡɪꜱᴅᴏᴍ ᴏꜰ ᴀʙꜱᴏʟᴜᴛᴇ ɴɪʜɪʟɪᴛʏ✧

IX x reader

1k words Ao3 version here

To repeat how and why you ended up in this position would be like trying to recant the story of several centuries of here and there, so at some point, you just let it go—let the words you had once told centuries ago washed away into the ever-flowing stream of the intergalactic void.

But as an emanator of the Nihility —perhaps this suits you best.

Today and yesterday and tomorrow and last year and a century have been blended together like an ever-growing vortex of void—at some point, nothing really matters that much, including your life story. Perhaps this is how IX feels, all the time. Maybe they were a breathtakingly beautiful creature that rivaled that of the Aeon of beauty and the abundance Yaoshi—but then they had touched the darkness that is the pit of this universe, and—and now they lost all those faces because it hardly ever mattered which form they took.

You understood you thought—as you have touched nihilism too. Or, to be accurate, IX has gazed upon you. Only those with an unrestrained arrogance dare to compare their plight to those with Aeonic status. But you thought, at the very least, you get a fraction of how they felt.

“Big or small, all things are touched by the same bottomless meaningless vortex,” Aeon of Nihility told you once, a fraction of truth is still truth nonetheless.

“Why are you planting seeds into the ground?” IX asked. Although their voice was low and acoustic; bouncing all over this fabricated dimension used for holding IX themselves when they went to sleep, you can feel the genuine curiosity behind those blob eyes of theirs.

“ Someone has said to me once that beautiful flowers help people get into a better mood,”

“ Maybe for mortals, but those tricks don't work on us who knows,” IX said. Even with a rather distant and monotone, there is a hint of somewhat concern.

“I know,” you said—your voice, too, was bouncing off the metaphorical wall. It created the signature acoustic sounds that, as you remember, were once disorienting when you first arrived here. Now? It would have been weird to not hear a slight echo in your or their voice.

You kneeled, the gray and tender sand soil you have gathered in your palm felt cold. It shines against the soft light emitting from the other side where IX was crawling opposing it. The light existed alongside the nihility, belonging to the Doctor of Chaos. “—You don’t have to be too worried. This is mostly for them,” when you continued speaking, the sand was allowed to slide past your hand—it flowed down, but immediately dissolved mid-air into nothingness.

“All things that exist would come to its conclusion. And all things exist for one single purpose; to exist, to continue to exist, and then struggle for that existence—against the unknown, against the others. Only when they no longer could stomach this any longer, shall they perish—left nothing behind,” the Nihility said, Their tone was rather melodic despite the absolutely horrifying speech they have given to you. Yet, it didn’t shake you. Perhaps, being their emanator has some interesting and useful additional benefits.

“I understand, and you are right more than wrong. Still, I plant this for them,”

“ If I am right, then who else is them ?”

“ Those who will walk this path, the same path that I did, and those who will receive that gaze of yours,” you said with an amused yet exhausted smile on your face.

“ No, no. There will be no others. You are selected, but there will be no more others. You are my first and the last emanator,” IX burst out—a rather strange demeanor from those who hold the status of an Aeon; but then again—we don’t really know all that much about Aeon after all. They almost sound anxious—almost but you just burst out laughing.

“Are…you laughing? At an Aeon..?”

“Who else would I be laughing at?”

“…why?” The aeon exclaimed with a voice filled with a hint of annoyance. You inhaled—trying your best to suppress the laugh that seemed to be indefinitely pouring out.

“You are wrong about most things, you were wrong then before you gazed upon me, and you’re wrong now that you assumed you won’t gaze at anyone again,” you said. Most of the dirt in your palm was already gone. Turn around to face your Aeon who, to best describe it—seems to be in absolute shock. Mortals or immortals with less significance do not challenge Aeon, and if they do it will be done not in such a flippancy like this. IX has faced hostility by mortals before by the name of ‘annihilation gangs’, it was…something for several seconds…and then they were nothing, swallowed whole by the crushing weight of nothingness. But—you are special, IX recognized that genes the Aeon’s gaze that craved a mental scar of nihility into your mind. Yet, uniqueness does not exempt you from absolute nothingness. In time, you will perish, and the millions of steps you have to take to be at this point will quickly be washed away by the current of time…and the ever-looming, uncaring silence of the universe. Like the dirt that no longer sits among your fingers, your life will soon slip from the grasp of the Aeon.

And yet—yet, this fact did not dim your light, not one bit. You know full well of the approaching darkness at all of the universe’s corridors—they have let you see it yourself. Still, you have insisted on the very same stand you have held before. Despite not chasing foolishly trying to create artificial meaning to life and the universe—you have understood and even believed the same thing IX believed, you have chosen to face such issues with a totally opposite reaction they have expected.

You faced your Aeon now, the metaphorical barren land of gray and emptiness was now occupied by blooming bio-fluorescent white flowers. It shines bright, but not too bright where it hurts—but bright enough to stand firm against the blackest of black sky that enveloped the garden and both entities facing each other.

“Before you crowned me as your emanator, you had none before. You don't believe in bestowing your ‘blessings’ upon anyone—you have seen no point in it, and you believed no beings could tolerate such nihilistic gaze anyway. Then you gazed at me, I suffered from you and I survived, and I got better. You said, in the face of looming darkness, I will understand and change my way—and I have not changed, before or after,”

IX looked straight into the eyes of their emanator and thought— why is she so difficult? But perhaps that is why she interests me…

“You are unbelievable, breathtakingly chaotic,” IX said with exasperation but their gaze was soft, as soft as a freshly cleaned wool. Something rather surprising coming from the Aeon represents coldness and emptiness.

“Now stop bothering me, I want to sleep…” With that, IX closed their eyes—essentially turning themselves into a mass of darkening black hole that seems to suck away all the life force surrounding it. This made-up space for you and them has dimmed its light, the world was asleep now as both you and the garden of light fell into the dark. You sat down, in an environment with minimal light, and closed your eyes too—drifting into a state of inactivity like your Aeon. Still, you and the garden emit soft light like a nightlight for the Aeon to anchor on. IX didn’t need it, and yet… you wanted to do it.

This place should be hell for any other, but for you—you felt comforted by the presence of the Nihility. It’s true that you were now in the darkness swallow but this darkness itself soothed you—just like the Nihility has too. Tomorrow, there will be work to do; but now you just want to rest beside your aeon. Basking silently in each other comfort.

[trekmupf]

Trapped in a Car With Someone You Don’t Want to Be Trapped in a Car With

Pro

Kirk being torn between his "duties" in the military structure of Starfleet and the duty to his crew / his friends

McCoy waking up and immediately doctoring

The way McCoy sits in the chair; Once again I'm stating the obvious: McCoy is very beautiful in this episode and his winged eyeliner is everything

We're getting to know Spock better: his problems connecting with the human crew and understanding them (something he learns later on, which is great character development), a new side to his logic, the fact that he's not driven by power (getting command)

Also the fact that the McCoy / Spock dynamic this early on the show is different from later on: the disagreements are less friendly banter and more actual fights, McCoy doesn't know Spock that well (thinking he's interested in power / command is wrong) and they don't work together as well, which is a great way to mark their development in later episodes

there's also a clear separation between Spock and the others, Spock's alone and doesn't have someone to confide in; later on Spock and McCoy are a duo

especially the scene where they're fighting over the funeral service highlights why McCoy, Spock and Kirk work best together and what can happen when one of them isn't around to balance them out

Spock is genuinely so irritated by his logic not working, he's so visibly annoyed several times

"Strange. Step by step I have made the the correct and logical decisions, and yet two men have died"

Spock's failures as a commander also highlights what makes Kirk such a great captain, as he manages to use logic and command while also balancing the human and empathetic side of it

Spock learning so much and growing during this, technically a great leader but he learns his own limits

Scotty best repair boy, the way he crouches and crawls into spaces to repair the shuttle and then engineer magic!

Also Scotty's attitude in the face of death is so great and telling about him. He realizes first what's going to happen and accepts it calmly, smiles and compliments Spock, having an air of comfort and peace around him

@ Kirk and McCoy in the last scene, how close do you guys need to be to have a conversation?

Kirk pointing out that Spock's action was based on hope and was therefore human and Spock trying to explain it away as a non emotional and therefore Vulcan action and the others just like him so much while he does so; it's not mean spirited but just lovely and such a great contrast to the tension earlier in the episode

So many of the shots inside the shuttle are accidently funny due to the camera angles they had use because of the tight space

Direct and straightforward episode set up: We have limited time (medicine needs to be brought to another planet) and the shuttle with two of our main characters gets lost in a phenomenon

Kirks desperation rising during his scenes the longer his crew is lost

great tension by the double plot: the immediate threat on the planet and the time pressure on the ship

I absolutely prefer the original special effects over the CGI remake. Look at how good the shuttle craft looks in comparison – taken from this youtube video which I recommend

Con

even for Trek the monsters are sort of shit

very minor but I'm annoyed at the uniform inconsistency, its yellow shirts not red shirt dying, the travesty

I know the commissioner is there to remind us of the time frame but his constant repeating starts to be annoying. I'm Kirk, just done with this guy (even though yes, he's right)

everyone but the yellow shirts who die have shit to do and opinions to have except the women who is just scared and doesn't wanna die

Counter: none

Quote "Did I? I may have been mistaken" - Spock "Well, at least I lived long enough to hear that" - McCoy

Moment: When the group sits in the doomed transporter together, knowing they're about to die but they seem collected

Free Bones because you can see his great make up in this one

Summary: Not quite bottle episode (even though it feels like it) that focusses on Spock and his struggles as a (half-) vulcan working with humans and his disconnect with them using a gripping and tense narrative; Over the course of the episode Spock learns a lot about humans, his connection to them and himself and he and his companions gather more respect for each other Previous Episode - Next Episode - All TOS Reviews