#its just manifestation of their relationships

[suksatoru]

017. CARNATIONS

One hundred and seventy nine days. Not very surprisingly, they passed by slowly. If time was tangible, you'd swirl your fingertips over and through the scripted numbers on your calendar to bring the awaiting date of Touya's release day sooner. You peer over the scarf wrapped around your neck, lifting your nose from the thick and knitted fabric as you take a once over of your appearance. You're grabbing your keys, prepared to step out of your front doorway when you catch your reflection in the hallway mirror of your apartment. There's a small slip of paper tucked into the frame of your mirror.

Your hand slides off the cool metal of the door handle before you press your pointer and middle finger to your wrist. If you close your eyes, you could try and pretend it was Touya touching you instead. He liked feeling your pulse, you remember how he once told you how your heart was in sync with his—he was sure of it, he swore it was.

It was one of your earlier memories with Touya, and you smile fondly at the sound of his voice echoing in your mind. You assured Touya that you'd never head of such a thing before, but he was adamant. You'd left the hospital that night with the phantom touch of his fingertips still on you, and drove to your local library instead of home.

It was nearing midnight then, and you'd sheepishly entered half an hour before closing time—moving through the numerous bookshelves that stood tall in all their glory as you searched. What is it you were searching for? Well, even you didn't know. You acted on pure instinct that night, because Touya's words wouldn't leave you alone. While hearts beating in sync may be something you remembered reading in your childhood in some fairytale book, you could just barely remember reading about it somewhere else.

Maybe you read something about it when you were in school studying? Your fingers don't mind the dust coated spines they graze, and your eyes move back and forth mindlessly as they search for a familiar title. Something, anything to help rekindle the memory that you couldn't manifest quite completely. You'd spent all your time studying in this exact library just a few years ago, and you know your book must be here. And there it was—tucked away in the corner of a shelf, wasting away and waiting for someone to dust off its cover.

You check out the book seven minutes before midnight, and half an hour later, you're back home—highlighter in hand and reading glasses perched over the bridge of your nose as you read. And maybe if memories were tangible too, you could reach in to your mind and tug the necessary one out—but they aren't, and you need to find something in this book to set the wheels in motion again. You're not sure how many pages you've turned until your heart practically bursts with disbelief—the words strewn over the old page strike your heart in a way that's almost cruel.

Studies show the bodies of lovers tend to be aware of one another's presence. Monitors and tests show that breathing intervals and heart rates naturally align when in the presence of someone their bodies subconsciously care for. Heart rates synchronizing is a phenomenon between two people who have achieved a level of utmost internal alignment and trust.

You pull away from the memory—one from months ago and immerse yourself in the present, fingers gently pulling out the paper tucked into your mirror frame.

You'd taken this page out of that library book. Ripped it right out—not a single ounce of hesitation as you did, before highlighting the words utmost internal alignment and trust.

This was your reminder, the lingering promise you made yourself that Touya trusted you, and that your devotion and gentle care led to this. But after getting fired for your romantic relationship with him, those highlighted words served more as motivation these months. It was impossible to leave your apartment without seeing the little stolen slip of paper hanging, and you have a mini ritual of quickly reading the page over every time before you go out.

You take a moment to gently smooth out the creases in the paper, and even though you have those few sentences printed memorized by now—you keep your eyes glued to the page anyway, read every word slowly and let them sink in anyway. And then, you're off to the Todoroki household.

The weekly dinner visits began a few weeks after you got fired. You remember the initial shame you had to carry when first facing Touya's siblings and mother. You'd gone in with your bravest face on, prepared to be turned away because as their son's caretaker, you failed. But they didn't. They invited you inside for dinner, got you a warm cup of tea, a blanket to wrap yourself in—and instead, they asked you to tell them of your times with Touya.

The weekly dinners were Rei's idea. She told you she'd love to have someone so near and dear to Touya near to them. Shoto, Natsuo, and Fuyumi moved mountains for Friday dinners—they had become such a crucial part of everyone's routines, and none of you had ever once been absent from them.

You didn't have a family to call your own before the Todoroki's. But when Rei cradles your face in her soft palms and feeds you her homemade dinner, or when Fuyumi and Natsuo listen to your quiet confessions and unspoken feelings—or even when Shoto asks you to come to his UA events for support, you know there are people who love you like one.

And the evening starts like it does every Friday. Rei is the one to open the front door, and everyone is usually sitting inside in the living or dining area waiting for you. Natsuo and Fuyumi will ask you how you're doing, offer to take your coat and bags while Shoto brings you something to drink. But, as someone who never took such kindness for granted, you get to work right after—heading straight towards the kitchen to help Rei set the table.

"Did you cut your hair, Y/n?"

You click off the rice cooker in front of you before peering up at Rei, your eyes round with surprise. Rei smiles gently at you from where she stands, and you run a hand through the strands with a sheepish smile

"Just a trim on the ends, that's all. I'm surprised you could even tell the difference!" You smile, grin radiant and bright in a way that has Rei's chest filling with warmth—your smile was like the sun's rays peaking through the clouds, oddly filling in a way.

"You're beautiful, Y/n. I know I say that a lot, but you really are. In and out."

Your cheeks turn pink in an instant, and you stammer for a moment as you try and formulate a response, mentally face palming when you just stammer even more while you trip over your words like an idiot. After a good ten seconds of that humiliation, you decide to shut your mouth to keep yourself from embarrassing yourself any further. You manage a wobbly smile instead, heart soaring like a bird flying for the first time as Rei's soft smile widens at your flustered state.

Rei doesn't understand how much you value her words—they truly did mean the world to you. She hums under her breath while plating the Onigiri, and you sneak glances at her every now and then—biting back a smile. Her carefree smile reminded you a bit of...well, yourself.

Dinner goes as delightfully as it always does. Natsuo and Fuyumi carry the majority of the conversation tonight, and while they begin talking about what they wanted to do with the house's garden this summer with Rei—Shoto takes the opportunity to steal your attention.

"Hi,"

Your laugh makes Shoto smile shyly as he carefully scoots closer to you. He hesitates for a moment, his hands resting on his knees idly as he searches for the right words. The face Shoto makes when he's deep in thought resembles Touya, almost eerily so—they both have the same, gentle crease between their brows and faraway look in their eyes—like they're in an entirely different world.

"Are you ready for tomorrow?"

Your smile falters a bit at his words. Tomorrow. Tomorrow, Touya would finally be released from the hospital's rehabilitation plan. He'd be back home, here in this very household that you sat in. Shoto sees the hesitation in your features, and thanks to his terrible poker face—you see the way his lips tugs downwards in concern at your silence.

"Well, I must admit, as excited as I am—I'm also very nervous," You smile, your voice softening as you scoot closer to Shoto—the two of you now engaged in a conversation away from the rest of the table. He tilts his head a bit in confusion, lips pursed into the smallest of pouts as he stares at you. But as palpable as Shoto's confusion is, there's also a hint of understanding in his expression. He too was nervous for Touya's return. But Shoto had a reason; Touya was his estranged brother, one who tried to kill him and had been haunting his family for years. To you—well, Shoto thinks Touya acts like a puppy in your presence. Touya would be ecstatic to see you, no doubt. So what were you nervous for?

Shoto watches the way you hum in thought, and he's holding his breath at this point while waiting for your response—he remains silent as ever, giving you the space you'd need to hear your thoughts before you begin speaking

"Do you remember when your mother was in the hospital?"

Normally, Shoto would've flinched if someone had ever brought up his mother's hospitalization. He'd probably get defensive, too—because he never really understood people's intentions with him. But with you, Shoto knows you want nothing more than to love and be loved. So he nods his head in response, remembering the time where he was separated from her. And suddenly, things have never been more clearer.

Shoto knows the feeling of having someone who you know loves you endlessly, despite their violent nature, locked up and away from you. He remembers the way he felt back then—like his future had already been set in stone, one where he couldn't be happy and where his family was destined to remain forever separated. When Shoto had begun reaching out to his mother through letters, he was afraid. For her to be out and back home meant confronting that little boy inside of him—the one he knows didn't like confrontation.

And while Shoto has never been in love, he can imagine the way you feel must be even more complicated.

Something shifts in his expression, and you frown, thinking you hit a soft spot by bringing up Rei's time at the hospital—

Shoto does exactly what he wanted someone to do for him years ago. Something he needed, but never got. He leans forward, wrapping his arms around you. And this hug is nothing like the awkward ones he's offered you before—he nestles his head into the shoulder of your sweater, pressing his eyes close as he exhales a quick breath and tightens his hold around you. You can only blink in surprise, looking down at the younger boy with a soft smile before he speaks up

"It'll be okay."

The words hit you like a tidal wave—and for the first time in months, you really did feel like things were going to be okay.

CARNATIONS MASTERLIST.

a/n: hi guys... :P so this took like, two weeks?? again?! i'm so sorry! i HATE making you wait but i also refuse to put anything out just for the sake of putting it out 🤧 i wanna put out my best work!! thank you for waiting and being patient with me as we near the end ☺️

tags!

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@exquisitenesss @miniatureempathknightpony @afterlife11

[tigerpearlsworld]

Pick a card

Who is coming towards you in love?

Before you choose a pile, take a moment to breathe deeply and connect with your intuition. This is a general pick-a-card reading, where the universe's infinite energies align with your path to bring you the guidance you need.

Know that you can only choose one pile. The message you receive is not just for you to resonate with, but for you to realize in time as the truth unfolds in your journey. To truly receive your message, you must follow your heart’s instinct, not your expectations. Look beyond the surface and see what your soul is trying to reveal to you.

How to choose your card:

Breathe in deeply. Breathe out slowly.

Light a candle or incense and clear your mind.

Meditate on the beating of your heart, allow your thoughts to flow naturally.

Let go of doubts, and trust what your heart is guiding you towards.

Close your eyes,visualise a light forming in your heart and feel it's pull.

When you open your eyes choose the image that your heart calls to the most.

For some of you maybe number, colour or image will help.

A final message for you: Your heart is your guide, not your mind. Surrender to the wisdom that lies within you.

And for those who are seeking answers about love, fate, and destiny, I send my prayers to the stars to bless you with clarity, strength, and the energy to embrace your path.

May you receive what you meant to know.

( Choose the pile: )

Pile 1:

Pile 2:

Pile 3:

The reading starts. . .

Pile 1:

Cards: ( 8 of Wands, 7 of Cups, the Magician, 9 of Wands, the Star )

Message: Restoring faith in love

love is coming in swiftly, possibly through online communication or unexpected events. I see that the person coming in may have many options or be a bit idealistic in love and like that they might also bring an element of fantasy or confusion in your life. I also feel this group has manifested this person and that this person who is coming toward you is charismatic, skilled at communication, and knows how to make things happen. They might be very confident, persuasive, or even a little bit mysterious.

But what I also feel for this person is that while this person may be coming in fast and with playful energy, they could also have been through challenges in love and may be somewhat defensive or cautious.yk.

It's weird to say this but I've mentioned this before and I just get this strong sense of manifestation, divine blessing and I feel this connection you'll have this person is something which is meant to happen...yk? And like this connection is very fated.

So basically who is coming towards you in love?

The person who is coming towards you in love is likely to be exciting and charismatic, but .....but...they may also have moments of indecision or be slightly guarded due to past experiences. Their presence in your life seems significant and this connection with them will be fated...its something which has been weaved by the threads of destiny itself and has the potential in helping to restore your faith in love.

*such a beautiful reading (ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ)*

A song for you:

Pile 2:

Cards: ( seven of swords, three of cups, queen of swords, the star, queen of cups )

Message: intense and passionate

I see that the person coming could be someone who is very intense, passionate, and often carries a deep emotional undercurrent inside them....there is something....hmm...very scorpionic about them tbh. I see they might have a mysterious aura, strong personal boundaries, and a past emotional wound that still influences and haunts them. I see this person has gone through a lot of difficult and traumatic relationships, making them both deeply transformative, introspective, selective and guarded.

Now I also see that when this person enters your life be careful because..... Because!! This person.....THIS PERSON will not reveal their true intentions right away to you and with you 👏👏👏Write it down.note it down.they won't. They will be careful with you....with what they said...their words ....there is this sort of like.... hesitation I feel to fully open up.

Now I also wanna add up that there is this..... social connection or friendship aspect in how they enter your life tbh. Like ....I see you might meet this person through mutual friends, social events, or an environment where there is some sort of celebration or occasion idk...but you get my point ☝️

I see this person who is coming towards you to have a sharp mind, strong communication skills and a direct approach to relationships when they reach that point of wanting it that is. I also see they don’t tolerate dishonesty, any sort of bullshit, lies and are clear-headed and logical in love. Like they can play games sometimes just to test you but don't you play games with them....Cuz like if they see you lying they're gonna dip....it's like for them:

But hear me out I feel like again this connection is something significant for both of you....I feel that although there will be some and by some I mean a lot of heat in the relationship but I feel like this connection will ultimately bring emotional renewal and clarity in maybe yours or theirs or maybe both of yours....but I see that.

But ayyy....listen despite this person's sharp, guarded exterior....I see this person is just a big softie inside lol like they idk why but I'm remembering (Aquarius/Capricorn/Virgo/Scorpio and Cancer energy also gemini for some but the dominant is Scorpio lol also add aries cuz I remembered out of the blue ik.....) anyway as I was saying they have a deeply emotional and loving side but.....BUT!!!! It only comes out when trust is established. And baby 🤣🤣 they're gonna dragggggg your ass to hell and heaven to see if you're fit for that trust lol. So take how you wanna take.

I also wanna say something it's random but like this person could be bipolar Af too....ikik random also just the energy yk.... But Like people or you may think this person to be involved when actually they're not but it's just ig misunderstanding??? Due to how aloof and secretive and hidden and lets think ...hm..... Just guarded they are

So basically who is coming towards you in love?

I see this person is someone who is logical and detached on the surface but deeply emotional underneath. I also see this person to be someone who has learned to protect themselves due to past experiences but has a loving and caring heart once they feel safe. Also get ready to get your patience tested. So yep. Goodluck lol.

I got two songs for you....as the energy was a bit divided and so....ye...

Also Brooklyn baby- Lana del Rey but I couldn't upload that song for some weird reason... anyway yea

Pile 3:

Cards: ( Knight of Pentacles, the Hierophant, 9 of Cups, 10 of Cups, 10 of Wands )

Message: Taking time to open up

First of all I see this person is someone who is slow-moving, reliable, and serious about commitments. Okay and like this person Is someone who takes their sweet ass time in love but BUT!!! They do this because .....BCUZ!! They are incredibly loyal and dependable and solid when they do commit.

Like if I have to put words to describe this person....this is someone who is resilient, independent, self-sufficient, and spiritually strong.

I see they also are someone who is tad bit traditional and values tradition, stability, and commitment. I see this person who is coming towards you is someone who is looking for something serious, long-term and don't want anything casual.

I also see you and this person could have a strong spiritual or cultural connection ....random but ye (⁠─⁠.⁠─⁠|⁠|⁠）

Now I also wanna say this person who is coming towards you is definitely single as a pringle or maybe you were super single for sometimes....but the point is....there is this long term....single single energy coming. Anyway this person who is coming towards you is someone I feel will bring a sense of emotional satisfaction and happiness into your life. Yk. *It's so cute* like I feel like this is the kinda person who will give you a huge bouquet of flowers just because they felt like it lol ....like how do I say this ....this is the kinda person who if they love you will play the entire garden with your favourite flowers lol

I feel in this connection you will be very emotionally fulfilled,....I see long-term happiness, and I also see possibly....like possibly even a future family or deep emotional bond. This relationship can lead to lasting love and stability that is ....if you don't self sabotage it tbh.

I also wanna say that this person has carried a lot of burdens in their life and that they might have had a difficult past, taking on too many responsibilities.hm....i feel that...if something is wrong in the relationship or if this person feels hurt they will hide it ...and won't come clean...until they burst Outta nowhere and you'll feel wtf just happened....because I see for them they could be someone who dont for ask for help easily but just works hard for those who they love. And so I feel like at times this person may just burn themself and also get easily exploited and used and abused.....I see the person's family/ friends....could be...like use them yk.... because of their giving nature so... ye.

*now I feel bad such a sweet person (T_T)*

Also um....imm also getting like they might judge a lot and that if things don't align or just hm....if they feel stressed out from you or the relationship with you not helping or supporting them and just giving them headaches after headaches just to act cute don't be surprise if they leave. Because I see this person doesn't play games and just wants a plain old simple living yk. So yea...just a warning. Like don't push this person a lot.

So basically who is coming towards you in love?

I see the person who is coming towards you in love is someone who is serious,stable person who is looking for real commitment. Like this person has a quiet strength about them and like they deep wisdom, and a slow but steady approach to love. Also this person is not someone who rushes into romance, but when they do, they are in it for the long haul. Their past burdens have made them strong, and they seek a fulfilling and deeply emotional connection. Like they may take time to open up, but once they do, they will provide the most truly lasting, stable, and fulfilling relationship you'll ever have. So ye. Good reading.

A song which came for you

[midnightshindig]

a platonic drabble for cecil who has a kid that’s just like him and also ends up majorly scarred while saving someone on a mission?

Cecil & family!Reader hcs

Oooooo I like this, you guys really wanna tear this guy apart

Hcs below the cut!

You're his pride and joy

literally the exact same as him like to the way you take your coffee and the way you button your cuffs

From the first time Cecil got called into the office because you "organized detention" to fit your whims

God he's so proud

You're the product of a one-night stand with a visiting alien gone very wrong, dumped at his doorstep at the ripe age of four

it's just been you and him ever since

Cut to years later, and your powers have manifested, and he's all but forced to put you in the field

"You can either send me on missions, or I'm gonna start roaming the streets to fight crime on my own."

God you're gonna give him a heart attack

and so he agrees to put you, his fifteen year old pride and joy, into the field

Donald finds him like completely hungover the next morning cuz he's just so fucking stressed

After a few good missions, though, you prove to be like him in other ways:

you're dependable, a good listener, you follow orders flawlessly and improvise like a pro

Well, he guesses you are a pro now.

You're going on missions relatively frequently, still smaller fish but your powers aren't too insanely useful, you're more like a glorified and enhanced spy than anything.

A lot like he was.

This mission is bog standard, local cult in Midnight City that Darkwing II has requested assistance with since he's too busy with Guardian stuff

And so you go undercover in this cult, robes, rituals, the whole affair

Why is it always Midnight City?

ugh.....

You're handling it like a champ, though, and Cecil's sending backup

The backup is ON. ITS. WAY.

"Do not engage, Y/n, the cavalry is coming, you did good, now just hang tight and don't cause a scene."

He can hear you scoff, not able to verbally respond due to your yknow, undercoverness

What he can't see is that this cult is in the middle of some mad witchy shit, super culty, ritualistic sacrifice aplenty and you're helpless to stop it, at least without a lot of people getting hurt.

You have no idea what's going on, but you overhear two cult members talking to one another

"So what's this ritual for again?" "The spiritual cleansing of the world, dumbass. We're going to rid this world of filthy sinners with the cleansing blood of our leader"

Oh. I guess that guy on the ritual table does look like the cult leader.

You squint from a few rows back to get a better look at him-yeah- yup, that's definitely him.

His blood flows through the grooves in the table, onto the spell circle underneath

Much to your surprise, the circle actually begin to glow a familiar glow

the magical glow of a pre-explo-

BOOM

Cecil only hears you swear quickly before his line gets cut, and its all hands on deck.

Shortly after the explosion, the backup arrives, their priority getting as much of you out in one piece

It's a similar case to Cecil, saving whatever skin they can and grafting it onto you, and offering you the choice to get it replaced with fake skin.

You can't do it, though, but not for the same reason as your father

oh my god you're such an asshole

Cecil teleports straight to the side of your bed, checking you for harm after the doctors finish their procedure on you

"Y/n- fuck- stay with me kid- are you okay? Tell me you're okay." He's a little fast talking, but otherwise he holds himself together remarkably well.

Unti he notices your face

From the bottom of your mouth curving around the left half of your jaw, and down your neck, is burnt skin

Your shoulder and hand on the same side have similar burn marks

"Why?" He asks, softly, praying he hasn't burdened you with the same guilt he's felt since his own incident.

You give him a wide grin, uncharacteristic of the stoic relationship you shared

"I did it because it looks sick as hell! Don't you think?"

Oh man, you're such an asshole.

He ruffles your hair and groans

"You pull it off"

and that's good enough for him.

he's never letting you on another mission ever again omg

[viradahlen]

Some scattered thoughts about Wesker's character and STARS

Your worst sin is that you've destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing" - Fyodor Dostoevsky.

Wesker grew up in an environment controlled by Umbrella. I like to think of it as an institute or orphanage. He must have felt lonely.

This fact is not trivial because loneliness is thematic and yet ambivalent when it comes to Wesker's character. His relationship with other people and humanity as a whole is complex but fundamental to understanding his motivations. We know for a fact that he is not averse to being alone and even enjoys walking through the Arklay forest. He also talks a lot to himself. But is his relation to aloneness one-dimensional?

To understand the character, we must not forget that he was human, and so alterity interplay necessarily shaped his identity, even if he himself went so far as to cast away his humanity, deemed a weakness. This credo does not pertain only to Wesker. Alex Wesker, Dr. Marcus, Spencer, William Birkin, Sergei Vladimir... Umbrella's executives and higher-ups regard humanity as a dead end to be overcome with the help of science.

But unlike them, Wesker managed a small family team for almost 3 years. And unlike them, even after his rebirth, Wesker never really works alone.

I like to imagine how much inner conflict and cognitive dissonance the STARS era must have triggered. Can you really select people that you find highly capable, train with them, earn their respect and trust, and not care at all ?

Is it truly possible that he was but a cold monster, conditioned by Umbrella to destroy the world and embody the future of humanity ? An efficient tool that was taught how to identify valuable people and exploit their abilities ? Is Wesker just repeating with others what Spencer did with him ?

It’s an interpretation of the character. I find it a little too plain for my tastes. Wesker is a man of contradictions. He values freedom, is brilliant, and yet he is never able to think outside Umbrella's conceptual box. He values efficiency and yet seems unable to get rid of Chris and Jill. He obviously wants to be in control and seems wary and distrustful, which is probably a result of Umbrella's smothering grasp on him since childhood, and yet he trusts Ada, Krauser, Excella and others people to carry out his plans, increasing the risk of betrayal. Wesker is multifaceted, and so is his relationship with humanity.

Wesker's education is undoubtedly orchestrated by Umbrella/Spencer. Conceived and planned by Lord Spencer and his colleague Dr Wesker, Albert’s education was designed to make him an active defender of utilitarian philosophy, though devoid of its moral aspect. 

I believe the STARS, its inability to let go of the past, particularly Chris, reveals something else.

Even if "little piggies" sounds provocative and unflattering, and even if he evokes "a family reunion" in an ironic way, there is still something along the lines of possessiveness that manifests itself. When it comes to Chris, Wesker is the most ambivalent, helping him during the events of RE1, lamenting why he "cannot understand" his vision in RE5 and expressing his pride at every encounter.

The point is, Wesker almost never made a choice that wasn't designed by Umbrella in his life. Even his suicide and following rebirth, that he saw as a way out to escape Umbrella's shadow (he symbolically steps on his glasses branded with "property of Umbrella"), was overseen by Spencer. But he chose the STARS members.

And yet, when he was given full latitude to build up a team from scratch, he selected talented people, sure, though displaying an unconventional profile and a sense of honor and justice. Chris was kicked out of the USAF, Jill's father is a notorious thief (and herself is suspiciously good at picking locks), Kenneth is a chemist, Richard Aiken lost his sister and wanted to protect others at all cost... etc. Wesker's targeted people who were courageous, empathetic, and strong-willed. And yet, at this point, he didn't know what Umbrella's planned to do with them. He just did as he was told, and he chose them freely without Umbrella interfering.

He willingly chose to surround himself with people who absolutely did not share his beliefs. He did NOT choose meek people. He COULD have found competent AND cynical, less idealistic, less intelligent, policemen. But he chose them, introducing a risk factor as he was actually reporting to Umbrella. He chose people who have a strong moral compass, though they are less likely to be manipulated, are more difficult to lie to, and would rather not compromise. People with a sense of justice are often fierce and eager to defend their beliefs even though it's not in their best interest. They could have put Wesker in a delicate position, and, as a matter of fact, Chris, Forest, and Joseph were hated by Brian Irons.

So, why did he do that ?

If you listen attentively to Wesker's soliloquy in RE5, while he tries to pursue Chris as a clumsy octopus-like monster, I believe it makes sense if you consider he sees himself as a Messiah of sorts and a Creator.

Wesker hates humanity. But before his experience with STARS, humanity was actually comprising his colleagues within Umbrella. Umbrella taught him that people are worth less than nothing. (Though ironically, Umbrella's executives and accomplices, such as Brian Irons, probably reinforced Wesker's belief that humans were to be punished and corrected).

And so, when he loses his mind, he does not ramble, like a classic comic book villain, that humans are stupid or a lost cause. No. He laments that he sees "war and pestilence" whenever he goes. He wants peace. He relishes on being a Creator, a Demiurge. He wants to punish humanity AND start anew. That's precisely what Uroboros, a never ending circle of life and destruction, encompasses.

Wesker doesn't ONLY want to punish humanity. He wants humanity to do better, even though his method is totally irrational (as you could argue that he was the one bringing up War and Pestilence at its climax in their universe...).

He hasn't killed Chris, nor Jill, AND he EVEN confesses that he should have killed him YEARS ago. But why does he want his former pointman to understand ? Why is he OBSESSED about Chris "not understanding", if he isn't supposed to survive ?

I think that in Wesker's twisted mind, Chris represents what humanity should be at his best. Wesker fawned over his Tyrant, because it was his Creation. A new Human, created by him, the first step to his new world. But Tyrant is soulless. Chris, and Jill and every member of STARS he chose, trained and teamed up with, embodied values that he regards as worthy, honorable. They had a soul. And they were his.

There is something so enticingly complex about a character who implicitely confess that the world would be a better place if people were all as good and pure as the STARS members were, while he killed them all.

This man is hautingly complex your honor. He is Frankenstein's beast and a coward and a nerd that loves his action men and women.

But alas, he suffers from chronic backstabber disorder and delusions of grandeur.

Wesker, who blamed "loathsome humans" for turning the world into a cesspool, was actually one of these humans he so despise, partly because he never really abandoned Umbrella's mindset ("you're just another one of Umbrella's leftover" ie : a thing that belongs to them and doesn't think for himself which is TRUE).

And paradoxically, ironically, he betrayed and murdered in cold blood people that would have helped him make the world a better place.

[sixty-silver-wishes]

also, about the eroticism aspect- it's there! it's most definitely there. but I think it mainly manifests in how caligari exerts his power. he's obsessed with being a dominating force over everyone else, and from there, you can see where that fits. he very much fits the role of a possessive partner, if you like.

what makes this element so compelling to me is it's not just eroticism. it's not just borderline sexual abuse. it's how that abuse fits into his wider metaphor. when he talks about "compelling a somnambulist to commit acts that would be abhorrent to him in a waking state," that's such a disturbing line because of its vagueness. "committing acts" in this context refers to murder, but he's not just talking about that. in this line, caligari is quite literally saying that he's willing to force himself upon someone else without consent, in order to fulfill his own power fantasy. he doesn't give a shit about how this could harm cesare (whose name he has also forced upon him against his will)- he just wants to secure his own identity as "caligari."

you can apply this metaphor to a lot- authoritarian political systems, colonialism, bigotry against marginalized groups, abusive relationships- and you'll notice all of these things tend to go hand in hand, which is what makes caligari such a compelling metaphor. he's not so much a character as he is a vehicle for exploring all these intersecting ideas. he gains his power by exerting it over people he's forced into a position beneath himself- but he's also nothing without those people. there is no cesare without caligari, no caligari without cesare. it's a horrible, abusive, destructive relationship. it's parasitic. it's disgusting. but caligari has designed it to mutually assure both of their identities- and that limits him, too.

this is also why I'm so cautious about adaptations that take all of this and project it onto cesare. they see the kidnapping scene and assign him the status of this menacing figure who poses this sort of sexually analogous threat. and like, again, I can see why people go that route. but I get disappointed when I see this quality diminished from caligari. I'm not for woobifying cesare or whatever, but it's sort of annoying to see the traits that caligari most effectively embodies attributed to him.

everyone talking about how robert eggers should do a caligari adaptation after he did nosferatu and like. I liked his nosferatu a lot. but idk if I would trust him with caligari. maybe I would, but I would be watching very carefully.

[melouthechalk]

My precious desert duo manifestation daughter

[mohntilyet]

illario + lucanis growing up together means a lot for obvious reasons ofc like the fact they did not have to go through the dellamorte villa torment nexus alone really helps. immediately from the moment they are taken to that house, lucanis has had something to protect and love. the snark and jokes that they share in wigmaker job finally having a chance to shine outside of the only person lucanis is socialised with and he learns that wow, he's actually likable. because up until this point everyone around him calls him a demon and is freaked out by him but ofc the veilguard only know him as lucanis "he banished harding from the kitchen" dellamorte. sure he's a big bad crow assassin but his reputation simply does not carry that much weight with people who are just equally deranged (maybe a de riva rook but that's also a little different) . and then he's able to share and extend that love with his new friends, and able to try being something that he's not had the chance to before, and his goodness is actively encouraged rather than being an unfortunate sidequest that is tolerated. and i fondly think also of how much of that humor is copied and mirrored off illario ("shoulders....... feeling tight...... need a ..... MASSAGE!") and it's his best experiences with illario that turned him into the man he is. wish the game explored this just a little more because the betrayal would have been made a lot more intense if they had just bothered to show any of illario's redeeming qualities. he has them!!!!! nobody is just born a traitor. you have to love someone before they can become that.

[possamble]

do you have any particular thoughts regarding marcille being a half-elf? its interesting to me considering the fact that she seems self-conscious about being a half-elf, but denies it when its brought up

i remember marcille looking visibly uncomfortable over laios simply asking her how old she is, which i think the only reason she might feel nervous about this is because it might reveal her as a half-elf to him.

she's never corrected anybody whose called her an elf either.

never mind the circumstances of the reveal, in which thistle goes on about how half-elves are inferior and accusing her of wanting to become full blooded elf, she seemed particularly upset like he struck a nerve-

i wish the half-elf thing was built upon more. also, underrated marcille line:

okay so i revisited this sequence just to make sure I could back myself up and it's just... man. there's a lot going on.

the first reaction we get from Marcille is this huge panel that takes up half of the page

she is viscerally affected. flushing to the tips of her ears with the intensity of it. and we see it again, a few pages later

so it might seem like she's embarrassed about it and lying to herself, but... I really think it's just that Thistle is accidentally hitting sore spots. If you really look at what he says to get these reactions

"you'll live out your entire life [...] and die that way too"

"a hundred years from now, nobody will be there"

Hear me out. I think, if he stuck to harping on about her inferiority without bringing up how terrifyingly long-lived she is, she wouldn't have been as bothered. But right now, Thistle is accidentally hitting all the marks on Marcille's deepest fears-- and this is after the Winged Lion promised her that her dreams could come true in an extremely vulnerable moment, so it also hits her slightly guilty conscience as well.

I do truly believe that Marcille isn't bothered about being a half-elf the way that people assume she'd be bothered by it. To her, the biggest problem with being a half-elf is that it's isolating.

On one hand, it's not hard to imagine why she'd distance herself from elves in the west. A lot of them can clock her as a half-elf on sight, unlike other races, and therefore she's always branded with this weird stigma of being Othered -- I would even say that she considers herself lucky for being born outside of elven culture instead of having to grow up in it. I mean, just... look at the way elves talk about her.

Skipping past the uncomfortable implication of what 'not tolerating the existence' of half-elves would actually entail, this is incredibly fucking annoying. You can see why she wouldn't want to be around elves much. You see a lot of Marcille reacting badly here, but honestly, almost all of it can be attributed to her freaking out that her bluff completely failed. She's honestly more paying attention to Izutsumi's footsteps and trying to coordinate an opportunity to escape.

And in the end, you see her built-up frustration at being asked if she wants to be a full-blooded elf like 2-3 times in a row.

Yeah, yeah, "the lady doth protest too much," and all. But we know Marcille. We know that she's a lot more embarrassed and horrendously unconvincing when she's being prodded about something she's actually self-conscious about.

Moving onto the flipside of things, it might seem weird that she "pretends" to be a full elf around other races, but it's not really that strange if you think about it. Again, people are weird about her being infertile or whatever, and a lots of them don't even know much about what sets half-elves apart from everyone else. I mean, look at how uncomfortable Laios is just asking her about it

and look at how exasperated and resigned she looks

And like... she's right. Where would that come up in normal conversation? Why would she go out of her way to tell them? She's functionally a normal elf to other races anyway -- got the ears, the abnormally long "childhood", and the huge mana capacity. Unless it's directly relevant or important for people to know, I don't think it's all that strange or indicative of insecurity that she prefers not to bother with it.

(This combined with her sense of being an "outsider" to elf culture also explains why she thinks elf superiority is embarrassing. She sees the way elves treat short-lived races from the "outsider" perspective nonetheless, and thinks it's obnoxious; especially more so because she usually has to play the elf around short-lived races and deal with the reputation of arrogance that elves have built up.)

The sad thing is, this all means that... she doesn't actually fit in anywhere. She doesn't like going out West much because of how elves treat her. But she's also an outsider in the continents she was born in, treated like this exotic long-lived alien choosing to live among short-lived races for some reason. She is always an outsider, the Other, no matter where she goes. Add in the fact that she'll live longer than literally anyone she knows, and it's honestly kind of heartbreaking.

And I think that's the crux of it. Marcille really doesn't act like she's at all self-conscious about being a half-elf because of any feelings of inferiority or being half-made or whatever. She considers herself a perfectly legitimate being and might even, in some ways, consider herself superior to normal elves because she's not blind with elf supremacy or whatever. (And whatever "elven biases" she displays, all of them are born more out of the fact that she's kind of bad at conceptualizing how other races age and mature compared to herself, not that she actually considers herself better or more mature simply for being an elf.)

I think that whatever self-consciousness Marcille has about being a half-elf is, instead, related to terror and loneliness. The reminder that it ensures she'll never truly belong anywhere for the rest of her very long life. The reminder that, in truth, even she's not actually sure how old she is by other races' standards (hence the discomfort when asked how old she is). She doesn't want to not be a half elf, or be a full elf or full tall-man-- in her ideal world, she's still a half-elf. She just gets to live out her life at the same pace with the people she loves and doesn't have to say goodbye again and again and again until she dies.

and one last very important panel, right after Mithrun tells her that all her desires would be devoured

In her ideal world, she's still a half-elf and reality magically starts marching at her pace. But failing that, the second best thing is that she's still a half-elf-- but one who is able to accept reality and let go of her fear.

(But the rest of the story pans out the way it does because, to Marcille, taking reality apart and reshaping it was less scary than simply and fully reconciling with it.)

[bugflies00]

i lied im thinking about it. “But you should know that i died slow/Running through the walls of your haunted home” is genuinely such a despicably evil line. its like crimeboys quintessence. the first person and second person could apply to either or both simultaneously. the way its completely reversible like they’ve been merged in 1 line.

“you should know” can be framed either like a reproach for not paying enough attention (tommy pov) or like a recommendation, in a you should know this before you know me type of disclaimer that is SO c!wilbur “i know what im like” soot

“i died slow” they’ve both been through a slow but unmistakable deterioration that was only noticed when it got ugly. like i died slow could be exile and the grief chipping away at tommy until his self died but he physically didn’t, and he had to pull himself back. the contrast between his loud-brash-hyperactiveness and the slow, steady decline. and well with cwilbur it writes itself. a slow death that started manifesting itself in pogtopia but whose ramifications can be traced back way before. “i died slow” because much like Rome, november 16th wasn’t made in a day it was him stewing and stewing and slowly falling. it was so gradual and every stream you saw him lose his grip a bit more

BUT ALSO. “i died slow” feels a bit like an oxymoron (dying is a process but died is the past tense that communicates an action at a precise, instantaneous point in time) and they both have an unnatural relationship to death! im not getting back into all of it but them being confronted to limbo and how wrong/unnatural it is for our perception of death completely shifted their relationship to life & death. for historically suicidal characters it would be wrong to say it made them want to live (at least for wilbur; tommy is closer to reaching that), but it made them not want to die that specific death. and sure thats not what the line is saying, but theres definitely a link with that insistance on death. they’ve literally died so many times

“running through the walls of your haunted home” Well. well. well. do i even need to say it?

“running through the walls” because they’ve both been ghosts. ghostbur quite obviously, especially if you think about him floating around the sewers. but tommy? the invisibility potion addiction in late s4. he could walk through walls without being noticed, because being ignored was safer than getting the attention he craved at the risk of being hurt again. in a way he became the ghost.

“your haunted home” from tommy POV because wilbur built it and guided it. because in new lmanberg ghostbur was physically haunting the place, while tommy walked (“running through”) up and down aimlessly trying to find something to do to make sense of it all and the grief, and thats how he ended griefing george’s house for a semblance of normalcy. the idea that tommy is running through something that belongs/is wilbur because he can’t escape it. something something tommys grief in season 2 being subdued and never/barely mentioned explicitly and yet being the underlying thread that he can’t escape from.

but “your haunted home” from wilbur’s POV is him watching tommy do that (just like ghosbur on so many occasions could only watch passively without intervening. like in exile) because lmanberg is tommy’s home, one thats been destroyed and burnt and left with only ghosts.

but better yet from wilburs pov! “to me, its you” -> lmanberg is tommy’s home but also tommy IS lmanberg. tommy is haunted. and then it’s even worse and more evil because tommy isn’t just running through a haunted house that he only needs to escape to be free, he’s running through the walls of himself. he’s a ghost to himself who can never escape because l’manberg is each other to both of them. lmanberg is haunted by wilbur’s absence, and it’s haunted by tommy’s presence. they’re quite literally two sides of the same coin and thats why they can never escape each other fully.

anyway.

sorry for making a trending song about c!wilbur it will happen again. but Well

[quatregats]

Something I've been thinking about is how Patrick O'Brian manages so skillfully to write characters whose actions contradict their beliefs, which I think is honestly a big part of why his characters feel so real. Mostly with Stephen and Jack—e.g., and perhaps most notably, Stephen has notably leftist sympathies (honestly I have no idea how to characterize his politics in period terms) who nonetheless becomes very comfortable with his rise to the landed gentry, while Jack is a card-carrying Tory who much of the time sympathizes far more with working class sailors and farmers than with the upper classes—but I'm sure he does it to a lesser degree with some of his minor characters (James Dillon, while perhaps not precisely minor, comes to mind), and I love that he's able to do that, especially the way in which he embeds it in the narrative. We see how they're all unreliable narrators of themselves; we understand how they want to be seen and how that does and doesn't coincide with the reality, but most importantly, this isn't presented as something reprehensible, just as a part of their own humanity. They are not their expectations for themselves, but they don't need to be those expectations to be beloved.

[spasikonik]

an edek themed collage 🪲

[lycanr0t]

the thing about aplatonicism is that just like aromanticism and asexualism, it doesn't inherently mean you don't want friendships, every individual apl person has different needs and wants in regards to friendship and each person will go about it differently.

I for example am aplatonic and don't specifically feel platonic attraction as in, i don't feel a drive to befriend people. I don't get "friend crushes" or ever get the desire to befriend specific people. I am personally, very open to the possibility of friendship if someone else approaches me and we vibe. I am not platonically attracted to them, but I also do get enjoyment from socializing with others in that way and can become attached to them, etc. Platonic attraction does not equal caring about someone/being good to them. Attraction is not moral in that way. it just is.

Just like how some ace people still enjoy sex, even without sexual attraction. Some aplatonic people still enjoy friendship, and some don't. And that's okay! There are so many types of relationships out there that people can form and explore what makes them happiest and it looks different for every person and that's such a wonderful thing.

[hulloitsdani]

The ways in which I can make book 4 a bad time for Kiran Fire Emblem

[leoleolovesdc]

I’m very interested in rio as a “solo” character. Like, for everyone else in the coven i find their relationships and interactions with others the most interesting way to frame their personalities and possible development, but rio is just such a fascinating little guy. I wanna know what she got up to before she met agatha, i wanna see her struggling with her own role as a cosmic entity and slowly figuring more out about the humanity within herself, i wanna find out if she’s ever had other forms, if she was ever a human or just alive in some way, how did she become a witch, how did she feel while watching humanity build empires, go through wars, kill and love and hate and how did she as the literal incarnation of death feel about it

[ducktollers]

chat im really starting to fear that spiderman 4 wont have peter be nearly as sad as i need him to be. nothing at all has happened to indicate that but i just got a bad feeling. im almost completely expecting disappointment atp im just like mj fr

[obstinaterixatrix]

I really like romances that highlights a complex relationship with desire. what’s that one quote. found it, it’s the siken quote that goes “the enormity of my desire disgusts me” and “there’s only one thing I want, don’t make me say it” LOVE that. it’s so fun. denial and repression and self-loathing! some of my favorite ingredients for a romance.