#anyway that’s why I just ended up rotating that one single father bl in my head for so long | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

obstinaterixatrix · 2 years ago

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I really like romances that highlights a complex relationship with desire. what’s that one quote. found it, it’s the siken quote that goes “the enormity of my desire disgusts me” and “there’s only one thing I want, don’t make me say it” LOVE that. it’s so fun. denial and repression and self-loathing! some of my favorite ingredients for a romance.

#time to talk the romos #it can show up in any narrative in many ways #but the way in romance it pulls another person into the process #is SOOOOO fun for me #with romance being character-focused and with the plot tied to emotional/relationship development #(when it’s done well) you get to see it in both an individual and systemic context #how it manifests in solitude and its impact on relationship patterns #how it’s masked or displayed #whether the character is aware or unaware #whether the character is trying to break these patterns or are furiously clinging to them #fight or flight lol #anyway that’s why I just ended up rotating that one single father bl in my head for so long #I feel like writing-wise I’m kind of lukewarm on it? but themes-wise it grabbed me by the throat and shook me like a rattle #the love interest’s whole thing is how at his core he wants affection but has only gotten it through dysfunctional means #because what he’s wanted has always been dismissed or rejected or minimalized for the sake of someone else #well yknow he’s an orphan and was taken in by his maternal uncle so there’s always been resentment if he does better than the ‘actual’ son #so the pattern is #starting from his cousin and his cousin’s girlfriend #is seeing affection and going ‘I want that’ and ‘stealing’ another person’s partner #and then instantly being disinterested because if it’s so easily ‘stolen’ it’s not the affection he actually wants #and since it continues outside of that context of. well essentially revenge #it just continues into solely experiencing unfulfilling relationships #so when the love interest recognizes his own interest in the main character #he’s trying to continue his cycle of ‘surely if I sleep with this person I’ll lose interest’ except by this point *that’s* the self-delusion #he’s found a person that he connects with and with whom he wants a genuine relationship #and it’s devastating to him!!!!!!#lmao I love it

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