#its just frustrating lol.
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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if someone is not physically disabled but can't care for themselves due to a mental disability they aren't crippled? interesting. tell me how else you think high care needs people differ in the eyes of the abled public.
#someone who can not dress themselves or feeds themselves or clean themseleves SOLELY based on mental conditions#are still crippled to people who think we all deserve to die. 🤣#my mother was not mently disabled for much of her life when she fit the definition of physically disabled. didnt stop#family friends and strangers from calling her the r slur because she had issues with holding her hands still.#like. you guys. we're all the same to them.#i say care needs what do you hear? someone who is in a care home? or do you also remember the people#who live in their own homes. who have family and friends who help them clean and shower.#a physically disabled person WILL turn to a high care needs autistic person and shout slurs at them. you are not a saint for being disabled.#it is a neutral action. 😐 🙄 someone is not a good person because they cant walk or cant speak.#there are physical and mental reasons someone may come off as physically or mentally disabled. like. BRO.#COME ON.#context: i am physically disabled. in more ways then one. i am also mentally disabled.#i am on disability FOR MY MENTAL DISABILIY not my physical ones! WOW!!!#its just frustrating lol.#the overlap is so fucking huge my dude. my guy. pal. friend.#its just fucking bizarre i dont know this person i dont care about them its just FRISTURATING#also mentally disabled people can be physically disabled AND NOT KNOW IT!! WOW!!!!#i thought i didnt fit the definition of physically disabled. while at my peak cane usage.#someone who struggles to shower because they have a mental impairment and someone who struggles to shower because they have a physical one?#eugenicists want to kill them both. shocking i know.
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USE MOUTHWASH / DO NOTHING
#mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#<— is this how character tagging works here lol#the visuals of this game are so good. the ps2 aesthetics mixed with a lot of memorable imagery#+ the way that the mechanics/structure of the game are deeply important to its narrative & themes#i.e. the use of pov switches the time jumps & the railroading—#these could have been just stylistic choices but here they are functional AND stylistic#the fact that you are railroaded into decisions…#while in other games this might feel frustrating/simplistic#here it only adds to the impending sense of dread and horror and disgust#especially when they’ve shown you an outcome and then send you back to inevitably be the cause of that outcome#the choice has already been made. it’s already been done.
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So does anybody else ever think about how Loop felt the need to demonstrate that the party's deaths wouldn't have any effect on the loops. I know I do but that's besides the point. Anyway I don't think Loop actually needs to bathe, they just like to feel included.
#'but lucabyte didnt you already do a comic with this exact same message? that loop has potentially killed their party intentionally before?'#yes i did absolutely do that thank you for noticing. that is what the cannibalism comic is about. no that was not a metaphor. lol#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sifloop#isat siffrin#isat loop#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#lucabyteart#ill ramble elsewhere some other time. maybe in a text post. but. long and short of it: even if you assume the answer to 'how do they know'#is that in sasasap isa got frozen once. theres still the fact that the loops are from sif being too distressed. how far gone does a siffrin#have to be before they can witness a party member die and notice it has no effect. how does loop feel to have planned to kill the party#during act 3. why did they NEED to show sif that. are they trying to preemtively stop them from getting the idea in their head#that maybe that might work? when they're out of all other options? when they just get so frustrated and at wits end?#loop helps in subtle ways through the whole game. and in less subtle ways like begging sif not to use the dagger. and while yes the#overarching reason you need to learn that the loops are tied to sif is because you need to figure out wish craft.... loop doesn't know the#actual mechanics of the loops themselves. just what didn't work. the power of friendship. getting the final hit in. being perfect. etc...#and besides all that.. how did loop feel during that hangout. being so deceitful. especially since before the other shoe drops#sif is enjoying themselves. but they know what's coming the whole time.#as for: why bathing? its the obvious imagery for blood on their hands/washing/never being clean. and is a bit of an inversion of the other#piece i just drew with the other casual closeness and nudity being kind. this one is cruel instead.#anyway tag ramble over ill do a masterpost of all my fanwork with some directors commentary sometime i promise. since i know im often vague
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:-0
#i live and i am making bad choices lol#which is to say my committee meeting is tomorrow and i should have spent my weekend reading and not drawing lol#but hey it turns out i can actually still draw. its just what ive been trying to draw for the past few weeks is really hard and frustrating#naruto#uzumaki naruto#umino iruka
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Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance - Traverse Town
#kingdom hearts dream drop distance#khddd#traverse town#scenery#my gif#trying my hand at giffing the worlds of this game despite the lack of a first person view (something i'm very upset about)#so i have to obtain and edit these shots in a very awkward manner#all while constantly being shoved around by my dream eaters#i'm so serious when i say making this set was really really frustrating lol#i can't find a free roaming camera mod or anything else that would be helpful for me#but i'll keep at it because i love looking at still shots of video game environments#and being able to share it with other people who enjoy it too#ANYWAYS traverse town is so beautiful in this game they added so many gorgeous areas with pretty glowing lights#i like the wacky whimsical mail room too and how there's this entire secret workshop hidden beneath that weird mailbox haha#the world really does feel magical and dreamy especially with its updated music#just realized the stars in the first gif are moving which is strange
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A frustrating development with the growing lack of reading comprehension I've personally noticed is an emerging fervor of insisting things aren't canon unless they are explicitly stated beyond all reasonable doubt.
I can not emphasize enough how harmful a mindset this is to have. Yes, it's wonderful to have characters outright say "I'm trans," but to deny a character's identity for not saying that is dangerous.
Plenty of real people prefer not to use specific labels. Historically, people didn't have our modern terms or modes of expression. Many modern cultures don't use these terms, either, and plenty of people within those that do can't safely openly identify.
If the only representation you accept as canon is within modern (and let's be honest, wealthy white able-bodied American) standards, then you are denying yourself and others a huge amount of representation and seriously limiting the media around you.
#remembering how people were like hmm its not actually canon that Steve is trans and adam is nonbinary...#steve doesnt fucking know what 'trans' is hes an unhoused time traveling cowboy like!!!#after an arc. about werewolves. and how people become werewolves because theyre unhappy with their lives.#especially specifically regarding their body/gender#and how adam explicitly says 'your family never saw you as a man'#AND THEN FOLLOWS IT UP. with referring to Steve as 'the man who chose'#like for fucks sake#you are being deliberately and willfully ignorant if you say its not canon.#your ideas of transness are extremely extremely limited if it doesnt include people who dont use the word.#god. ugh. ive been annoyed by this since that episode came out#dont even get me started on how people barely noticed adam is nonbinary.mm#they said they dont wanna be called a boyfriend. come on!!! come on!!!!#how can i make it clearer without them saying shit they woildnt say and have no context for!!!!#scream.#anyways.#delete later lol im just frustrated again.#im not even sure i worded this how i wanted to
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i really wish death note gave us more insight into the minds of the characters?? like on one hand i like the freedom it gives to the fandom space but also... misa's parents were fucking murdered in front of her... how does that affect her mentality... what the hells going On with light yagami just in general... i have so many questions </3
i feel the characters are only shown at surface level with little to no complexity even though the complexity... the nuance... its right there...
#its like a cooking kit with “just add complexity!!”#as much as i love it. the writing in death note frustrates me#i do really like the flexibility this gives tho!!#it draws me in... i Must interpret... i must Analyze...#death note#dn#light yagami#yagami light#light death note#death note light#yagami raito#light imagay#amane misa#misa amane#misa amagay#misa death note#misa misa#l death note#im just yappin here lol
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lately when im doing things that are hard or difficult for me ive been thinking "i wish i was better at this" during or after finishing said difficult or hard task. or "i wish this was more fun" "i wish i could just do this thing" or similar neg thought spirals
ive been following it up with an "and i'm learning how to do that as we speak"
#talking#idk its really helped me actually#like sometimes i get so frustrated cause i like#i JUST want to focus#and im learning how to do that by continueing to try#because being able to focus on things means i can focus on things i like#which is IMPORYANT TO MY HEALTH LOL#so when i try to do things i like and i get frustrated cause i cant focus on it#instead of getting frustrated and giving up#i take a breath and try again. because imLEARNING#everything takes practice#and im learning how to do that as we speak!!
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i wish more people gave Rockwell more credit when they talk about milgram music. I see so often the entire project credited on deco when the area he has the most involvement in is lyrics, and some songs he didnt even write entirely himself! (Meme needed rockwell's assistance because deco said, nonverbatim, he found it too hard to find lyrics that could fit rockwell's amazing sound) not to mention the writing(voice dramas, timeline convos, novels) is like, entirely on takuya yamanaka.
and i have so many grievances with this franchise i would fistfight these men if given the chance (joke) and obviously deco being the producer gets to discuss about the story (and i believe he is in charge of voice direction?) but it just irks me that so much work is totally attributed to one man and the rest (specially teddyloid and rockwell) get overshadowed and not mentioned at all
Its not like im making this up either go check the milgram channel and you'll see theres a good amount of songs where rockwell is credited for music production and arrangement while deco only gets lyrics credits and he is also directly credited under music production in the milgram site, as well as only yamanaka getting credited under story/author in the site
This multimedia project has multiple people working on it, acknowledge them all, its not everything thanks to your favorite vocap
#milgram#i may have biases because i didnt get into milgram by being a deco fan and i still am not a deco fan#but i came out the other side as a rockwell fan. so the omission of the amount of work hes put into this franchise does bother me a lot lol#im not trying to bash deco its just frustrating to see him get credit for work he didnt do alone or at all
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I've been trying to nail down what exactly Aoba's problem with Koujaku's fangirls is. It's not like he feels emasculated by not having a gaggle of girls following him around- Aoba actively doesn't want to draw attention to himself; Rather, I believe that it's something slightly different: he's jealous.
Aoba always seems annoyed by the way they crowd Koujaku whenever he's working, how they throw themselves at him, how they invite him on dates... Because he want to be like that too, but he can't. He wants to be someone that Koujaku pays this romantic attention to, he wants to tell him about how cool he thinks he is, how much he means to him... But he can't. Aoba's very private, unassuming, and has much too much restraint to do something like this. He feels annoyance towards these girls, maybe even anger sometimes, because they get to do all the things he wants to do, and the worst part is that it works- they're the ones who get Koujaku's attention, affection, and time.
And sure, Aoba knows sides of Koujaku that nobody else does, so he takes refuge in that; He might not get the kind of attention he wants, but he gets a special kind of it that only the two of them share. I think that's the part of the reason as to why he was so shaken up by the Platinum Jail situation- because he realized that the bond they share might be a lie, and that he doesn't know Koujaku after all- so the fleeting tenderness they shared untill now might've been a lie after all too.
This sense of inadequacy doesn't even go away after they start dating. In the re:connect scene, Aoba mulls over how he still has a suspicion that Koujaku is inviting clients to his house. He also thinks about how the fangirls would eat him alive if they found out that Koujaku's dating him, like he is somehow a worse pick than any of the women who are infatuated with Koujaku. Among his reasons he lists his gender, which opens up a whole can of worms on how queer people are treated in-universe. We don’t see any overt queerphobia, but there clearly is some sort of a difference in how queer vs cishet relationships are treated if Aoba sees his gender as a reason he might be a "worse" pick. It's hard to say how much of it is based in actual in-universe queerphobia, and how much it's just something Aoba's blowing out of proportions due to his anxiety. I think that it's more of a "he could've had a normal, more standard/traditional life with a woman" kind of thing.
I think that he mostly just needed time, as in the drama CD that takes place after re:connect he approaches the fangirls more like mild inconveniences, and not reasons to put himself down. Perhaps he finally saw that Koujaku was serious about him and he started to trust him more as a romantic partner?
I guess I just like this slight background arc Aoba has in this route. It's presented at first as if he's annoyed about Koujaku being a flirt, but really, it's just more that he wants Koujaku for himself, and he doesn't like the idea of sharing him with anyone else, even if he isn't fully aware of it.
#dmmd#dramatical murder#aoba seragaki#koujaku#kouao#hatter blathers#sorry for any mistakes its pretty late lol#i guess these are just some of my thoughts and observations#its possible i missed something or im completely wrong lol#i can probably build on this but not now. too tired#and dont worry i have thoughts on koujakus flirting and attitude towards it too lol#i just love it when characters hide their longing behind different targets. i love you character psychology#i think that its more of a leave him alone! hes my and my only! kind of frustration#but he cant show it like that of course#and hes too restrained to stake his claim with other people around#oh and btw i dont think hes aware of his feelings at that early in the game. its more subconscious#and i like how getting into a relationship doesnt erase his worries. it actually makes them worse lol#but it seems to be temporary and you know. good for him :)
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re “most popular lannister in fandom” discussion lol i love cersei obv but im not particularly shocked at her not being as immensely popular as her brothers in book circles. not even just because of misogyny but the type of character that she is and her “likability”. nonetheless, there is a lot to say and discuss about her and her complexity anyway and id love to see that more over “girlboss delulu queen x100”. idrgaf about what others think but the only thing that kinda bugs me is when i see multiple ppl complain about tyrion specifically lacking the intrigue and discussion that sorrounds jaime sometimes (which is a gripe i entirely understand and resonate with, especially bc we can guess the types of things it could be rooted in; and there is a lot of material to discuss with him ofc) and then never discussing him or really mentioning him themselves either, especially centering him. like ye i write like 800 pages on jaime or whatever and not as much about the other two bc i find him the most compelling personally for whatever reason but lol thats just me. be the change u want to see, especially if u find him the most interesting personally
#like i think cersei isnt written as ‘likeable’ necessarily which i do love tho#it doesnt impact character writing quality but it does affect popularity 😭#to be fair the longest thing ive written is the aerys cersei thing whatever i think of what i said in that now lol#i disagree w some of it certainly but its painfully long im not touching it again lmao#it feels too connected to discourse anyway which is just frustrating to me#like if u invest time into discussing fandom pilled whatever over the actual book u r gonna end up with kinda dumb thoughts anyway#bc u r trying to argue with nonsense and talk with premises that r so out of left field in mind
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Real bitches don't limit their warrior princess/human cat creature toxic yuri shipping to Catradora
#Just kidding catradora is good#If I had a nickle for everytime I-#History repeats itself or smth#I wanna read comics about them but my library doesnt have any good wonder comics :(#Yes I know about readcomicsonline but its kinda frustrating for long use lol#Fjuryeyjwjskskdk#Wondercheetah#Wonder woman#diana prince#diana of themyscira#Dc cheetah#Cheetah#The cheetah#barbara ann minerva#barbara minerva#Dc#Dc comics#sapphic#Fanart#Art#My art#Pls stop me from ever drawing humanoid cat like creatures ever again#Next time I see irl furries I will be on my knees begging for their guidance#I want to know how tf they draw cat human creatures so good
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TK/Carlos + Touch
↳ 4.08 Control Freaks
#911 lone star#tk strand#carlos reyes#tarlos#911lsedit#tk/carlos + touch#oh hello my old friend its been a hot minute since ive done one of these#my favorite thing from this episode was the looks they were giving each other tbh#but a close second is tk clutching to carlos' shoulder after losing andrea to the dark side#the massive sigh he gave as he just focused all his frustration into grabbing carlos so he wouldnt explode right there lol#my gifs#episode: s04e08 control freaks#tarlos touch series
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just need to give a shoutout to all the people who interact w me or the things i make on here for the love and good vibes. twitter's been pissing me off the past couple days and i just think it reaffirms i'll never really leave tumblr bc the fandom culture here is just so much.. more lol
#more respectful funnier more loving more fun in a lot of ways#getting lectured by ppl years younger than me abt why posting shit without credit is ok when its like#all the best and most fun fandom spaces are dying#ppl are growing up sure but all these ppl are like 'i used to make gifs so heres why ur wrong' and its like#oh you USED to? well whyd u stop ? bc the effort level wasnt worth it just to be#saved and reposted w ill intent or not get any interaction like its so#everything is abt a race for interaction on the dumbest n most unoriginal jokes#its extremely frustrating to try to justify spendinf any time doing anything online anymore when ppl are so fcuking flippant like its crazy#'heres a shitty unsized n uncoloref gif i ran through some website and IM okay w ppl reposting' like lol#anyway when giffing dies itll be a sad fuckinf day to me jfkd truly a useless skill#but that means everyone still doing it is doing it for the love of the game or#the love of archival work and it makes ppl beinf so fuckinf disrespectful#or going to bat for nonsense seem so absurd to me like#really . really. if u have an option to share where it originally came from with one less click#ur gonna choose NOT to do that and instead repost just to insinuate the person who made it did it to insult someknes appearance#like. its just so.#fandom is dying and its so sad and etiquette is nowhere to be found so NXKKD gratefuo for the ppl gere#and sorry for the rant#none of thise matters but ive had an abundance of free time the past few says so ive been STEWING#mostly just want to say i love u all NDKKS and even if ive complained abt interaction its mostly just tbing website dying more than anything#which. is so sad lol#but i love everyone still here
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dennis is an angry character btw im sorry but he is full of rage but that rage is not exclusive his anger does not negate sadness and fragility and insecurities in fact they work together and dtamhd was one of the first times where his anger was not used as a joke via a surface level rage explosion from him but instead explored the fragility of his anger. the way he keeps reassuring the workers he encounters (and himself) that he's not mad. when he tells daisy he's not mad but he is a little bit upset. dennis is angry and that anger is what makes him so fragile. he was upset and it manifested as rage bc he doesnt know what to do with his own sadness
#disclaimer tags yes i would like to see his emotions explored more but i disagree that we ONLY saw anger in dtamhd#and EVEN IF IT WAS ONLY ANGER... anger is just as VALID and fragile and vulnerable as sadness. they are family#we saw how his anger makes him fragile how it exhausts him#how it works with his stress and fears and insecurities and sadness#he was UPSET!!!!#angry dennis in dtamhd WAS big feelings dennis in tends bar. that was the same#he expressed anger in tends bar bc he was upset he expressed anger in dtamhd bc he was upset etc etc#and i think the sadness people were expecting was present. the sadness and fragility we would have seen if he cried on the beach like most#of us anticipated (btw he did cry at the beach <3 technically <3) was THERE. it was just in his anger#sewerkingcharlie talked about this already and worded it very well but im honestly kinda bothered by how some people have treated#the portrayal of anger and emotions in this ep#you dont have to like the ep or how they portrayed dennis but some posts have really given the vibe of#his anger and his emotional outburst not being as valid because it wasnt portrayed in the way you expected#or that it wasnt palatable enough#and honestly if you dont like it thats okay! but can we please be careful with how we talk about mental illness and anger outbursts!#yes it is frustrating when people ONLY see dennis' anger or see dennis' anger in a very shallow way#which a lot of the audience unfortunately does because its been treated like a joke#but it wasnt a just a joke here#and maybe this will all go past dudebros heads frankly i dont give a shit lol but thats for another post
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