#its in my mind and i will never escape it

[distinctlywhumpthing]

Fresh Start

cw: panic attack, obsessive/compulsive behaviors. leo's usual dubious/clueless caretaker vibes. tiny mention of aiden's self-destructive behaviors. shaky trust being tested, my beloved.

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Movement sends pain radiating through Leo’s back and shoulder. His memory connects the discomfort to the hospital recliner and he bolts upright. 

But they’re home. Safe. 

He’s just paying the price for deciding to sleep on the floor outside Aiden’s room after a bought of anxiety convinced him he wouldn’t be able to hear if Aiden needed him. He—

Aiden’s bed is empty. 

His mind races through worst-case scenarios, heart tripping along to keep pace but as soon as he fully turns around, Aiden is right there. Curled up on the hardwood, no pillow or blanket, just shy of reaching the doorway. Fallen out of bed? Collapsed? Had Leo slept through him needing help after all? He reaches for his shoulder. What if— 

“Aiden? Aiden?” 

The kid startles awake, a small gasp escaping his lips as he clumsily but quickly straightens to kneel. Dark eyes wide even as he blinks away sleep. He crosses his arms, hand cradled carefully in the center of his chest. 

“What happened? Why were you on the floor?” 

“I—I—mmm…mmm…” He shakes his head and lowers his gaze. Not a good sign. “Mmm’sorry—I’m’sorry—” 

 “Are the stitches okay? Is there blood on the bandages? Are you in any pain?” Leo reaches for him and Aiden flinches back, hard. Now he’s certain something is wrong. 

“Mmm’good,” Aiden says, voice wavering. He still won’t make eye contact and he’s slowly, almost imperceptibly inching away from Leo. 

“Did something happen? We’ll call Delia if we need to. I just have to see that you’re okay.” He reaches for him and again Aiden cowers back. He hits the futon frame and whimpers. 

The sound strikes another cord of fear in Leo, doubling his panic. “You’re not in trouble but if the stitches tore or you’re in pain, I need to know.” 

Aiden swallows. “I—I—mmm…mmm…” 

Leo strains to hear him at all and considers just grabbing him. He has to see— 

“I—I—” Aiden shakes his head, gaze still lowered. His hands tremble as he lifts his arms, turning them toward Leo. 

It’s the most anguished surrender he’s ever seen.  

“Hey, woah. Look at me, it’s okay.” 

Aiden lifts his chin. For a split second, his expression looks incredulous before its replaced by a more familiar one of distrust and fear. 

But it was enough. 

The kid’s not even breathing, eyes filmed with tears as he obediently holds Leo’s gaze. 

You’re scaring the shit out of him.

Leo pushes himself back quicker than necessary, earning another flinch from Aiden who crosses his arms back over his chest protectively, curling against the bed frame. Leo moves to sit in the doorway, heart still pumping adrenaline through his veins, and tries to focus on his breath. 

Aiden watches him with open wariness. As defensive as day one. 

This is supposed to be a fresh start, their second chance. In the six weeks since finding Aiden in the snow, Leo succeeded in isolating him and not much else. And here he is, only driving that wedge deeper. He’s supposed to be better equipped now that he’s not completely ignorant but it doesn’t seem to make a goddamn lick of difference. Leo should have admitted months ago that he wasn’t right for this but his selfish denial carried them way past the point of return.

Too little too late isn’t going to cut it anymore. The kid deserves more. Someone who’s going to fucking listen to him. Someone he can trust and rely on. He’s going to need so much support. He can’t shower without wrapping his arms and hand, which he can’t do himself. He’ll need help changing the bandages. Not to mention the antibiotics. He probably never slept well to begin with, if last night is any indication. He barely eats. He was hurting himself all along right under Leo’s nose. He fucking tried to—

Aiden sounds like he’s trying to breathe through a straw, inhales shorter and shorter. Leo looks over to find Aiden already watching him, brow furrowed. 

When Aiden tilts his head, Leo realizes it’s him. 

He’s the one gasping like all the oxygen has been sucked from the room. 

Great.

“I’m sorry,” he forces out, but it’s barely audible. “I just—I need—” 

He stumbles down the hall, sparing both of them from a backward glance, and shuts himself in the bathroom. 

Leaning against the door is no good, he feels pinned there by the pressure in his chest. 

God, like he just cornered Aiden. 

He fumbles to turn on the sink, hands shaking. His fingers feel like precarious stacks of marbles rather than joints, skin slick from perspiration. Why did he have to replace the valve with stupid spoke handles? It takes a few tries before he can cup his hands together to hold onto any water. Given how little he’s breathing, the first splash feels like he’s waterboarding himself. He straightens, gasping and sputtering, but the innate reaction overrides his anxiety and he manages to pull in some deeper breaths. He keeps his hands under the tap and forces focus on the sensation of the cold water against his skin, the air in his lungs. 

One, two, three, four…one, two, three, four…

The panic recedes the more he breathes but guilt is quick to fill the vacancy. He doesn’t know what he was thinking, letting his prescription run out. He’s useless when he’s like this. 

His hands still shake as he twists off the faucet, nerves wrung out and cold. He avoids his reflection and turns to leaning against the counter while he towels his hands dry. His phone’s almost dead from not being charged all night. He stares at the chat with Delia, his string of blue bubbles filling the right side, unanswered. The last one, “What time do you get off today?” is a poor cover for his real question, “How soon can you come over?” Without hesitation, his anxiety is all too happy to supply countless awful explanations for why she hasn’t had three fucking seconds to send a single thumbs up in the last six hours. His pulse steps up again, his fingertips start to tingle. 

Leo drops his phone back into his pocket and scrubs his face with his hands, forces another few rounds of deep breaths. There’s a headache building right behind his eyes. More sleep will help but he has to take care of Aiden first. Starting with an apology. 

He finally turns to meet his tired, bloodshot eyes in the mirror. The lines of his face, deepened by exhaustion, make him look like he’s pushing forty and the fact that he hasn’t shaved since last weekend isn’t exactly helping. He scratches the corner of his jaw where there are a few traitorous white hairs. When he reaches for his toothbrush, he knows he’s stalling but how will he even start explaining his reaction to Aiden? 

At some point, he replaced his toothbrush on the charging stand and started washing his hands. Based on the suds caught in the drain, he already washed them more than once. He can’t get stuck here, not now. His heart starts rushing again and his throat feels tight, panic and frustration balling in his chest. How many times has this happened in the last day alone? 

“It hasn’t been this bad for years,” he whispers in his defense to nobody. 

But he still can’t stop. Not yet. He meets his eyes in the mirror again, ignoring the flare of self-pity and disgust. Just one more time, he tells himself, trying to believe it. 

Four pumps of soap. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi…

The door opens and he immediately loses count; isn’t sure if he wasn’t finished yet or if he’d already started over again. Aiden peeks through the crack, crease between his brow telling Leo he’s also biting his lip. When Leo meets his gaze in the mirror, Aiden ducks back into the hallway. 

Shit. 

Aiden wouldn’t have taken such a liberty without knocking first, probably more than once and only then after Leo was in here for way too long. Another total failure for the list. But at least it was enough to knock him out of the loop. 

The poor kid looks like he’s expecting a hell of a lot more than Leo suggesting breakfast when he comes out into the hall. He’s pressed against the span of wall between the top of the stairs and Leo’s bedroom. Not quite adjacent to where Leo stands in the bathroom door but clearly trying to find some middle ground that isn’t retreating to his room at the end of the hall. 

Leo buys them both a little space by turning to the washer and dryer to switch their laundry from last night. He wonders if Aiden notices the two extra towels he used when he needed more than one shower to feel like he could sleep. God, he’s completely unraveling. 

Aiden is no more relaxed when Leo faces him again. 

“Aiden, look—” he says at the same time Aiden says, “M’sorry.”

He holds up a hand and Aiden flinches. 

Well, that’s about right after what he pulled. But man, if it’s not a kick in the gut while he’s down. To make matters worse, Aiden seems to think it’s his responsibility to set things right after being subjected to Leo’s irrational panic. His guilt starts to turn in to a physical ache in his chest.  

“You don’t have anything to apologize for.” Aiden watches him carefully like he’s waiting for the other shoe to drop, long fingers worrying the cuffs of the hoodie. “You’re not in trouble,” Leo adds, taking a note from Delia. “Just finding you on the floor—” 

“Mmm….you…w-w-w—” Aiden shakes his head, swallows. “Mmm…here…” Leo waits but Aiden doesn’t say anything else, just huffs out a little sigh of exasperation before letting his gaze slide to rest on Leo’s make-shift bed. Which of course he tidied, blanket neatly folded and pillow set on top. His eyes lift to dance around Leo’s face, searching for some sign that he’s getting it. 

“I was sleeping here…” Leo feels obtuse stating the basest fact he can pull out of this exchange but Aiden nods. 

“I—my—” He scrunches his face up and shakes his head. He’s pinching and pulling at the cuffs of his sleeves now, grip tightening. He swallows hard twice before he tries again. “I’mmm…you…here…” 

“You…” Leo hopes he’s not taking too far of a leap. “...moved onto the floor when you saw me there?”  

Aiden turns his head away like he’s expecting to be slapped, gives a tiny nod. 

“That’s okay, it’s okay,” Leo says quickly. “But you didn’t have to sleep on the floor just because I was. Anyway, that runner is actually pretty thick, I—” Aiden bites his lips together like he wants to say something else. “What is it?” 

He knots his fingers together then separates them after a quick glance up at Leo, smoothing them against his thighs. “I—I—mmm…” He takes a deliberate step closer, halving the space between them. Does it with the air of stepping up to the chopping block. He waits for Leo to connect the dots. When he doesn’t, he lifts one of his hands, stopping just shy of brushing the back of Leo’s, before letting it fall again and tucking both behind his back. 

“Oh.” 

Despite his countless missteps, Aiden wanted to be closer to him. 

“Well, that’s okay.” When he realizes it sounds like giving permission he amends, “I mean, of course it’s okay. You can do whatever you want. Sleep wherever you want.” 

Aiden furrows his brow.  

“Sorry. I just mean— We never— I was worried—” Leo takes a breath. “You…” Cried yourself to sleep in my arms. “...fell asleep and I didn’t know if you wanted me to stay. I didn’t want you to be surprised when you woke up.” He sighs. “But I guess you were anyway…” 

Aiden shakes his head. “S’okay.” 

This kid would let him get away with murder…and then try to apologize like he invented death. Leo has to learn to get out ahead of these things if they’re ever going to have a chance.

“Were you—Did you have bad dreams or…” 

He lifts one shoulder in a half-shrug but doesn’t meet Leo’s gaze. 

“We’ll figure something out for tonight, yeah?” 

Aiden nods. He keeps his eyes down but he’s dropped his shoulders from his ears, hands in the pocket of the hoodie. Leo wants to wrap him up in a hug, make sure knows he was never in trouble, and tell him he never has to sleep alone again if he doesn’t want to. 

“I shouldn’t have freaked out like that,” he blurts instead. “I’m sorry for scaring you.”

Dark eyes search his. 

“It’s just— I panicked and I wasn’t thinking straight. After last night— After everything— It’s worse when I haven’t slept enough but it’s not your fault. It has nothing to do with you—” This word-vomit explanation is doing him no favors but he can’t seem to stop. “I promise it won’t happen again. I just want to make sure you know you didn’t do anything wrong, it was all me and I’m going to—” 

Aiden opens his mouth and closes it again. 

“What?” 

He shakes his head, dropping his gaze. 

Leo scrubs a hand over his face. “Short story long, I’m sorry for panicking.” 

Aiden peeks up at him then looks down again. Slow and deliberate, he pulls his good hand out of his pocket. He keeps it low, arm bent just enough to allow him to turn his palm up. A suggestion of an invitation, rather than an overt one, and one that could easily be missed.

Leo can’t help but smile as he squeezes Aiden’s fingers. 

Now Aiden ducks his chin against his chest in a good way. Not quite smiling but almost. 

“How about some breakfast?” 

“Mmm’yeah…mmm’thank…you…” Aiden parses the words carefully.

“Eggs and toast sound okay? I think we’re out of bacon.” 

Aiden nods. “Mhm.” 

He’s agreeing too quickly, making himself easy and accommodating. Is it because he’s afraid or does he think he has something to make up for? Either way, it feels like backward progress and Leo wonders all over again how he will ever rise to this occasion. 

But he can think of worse ways to spend the rest of the day than trying to get a real smile out of Aiden. So at least he has somewhere to start.

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@octopus-reactivated @maracujatangerine @nick-pascal @whumpy-writings @cracked-porcelain-princess

@meetmeinhellcroutons @briars7 @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @jo-doe-seeking-inspo @neuro-whump

@painsandconfusion @wolfeyedwitch @skyhawkwolf @haro-whumps @onlybadendings

@peachy-panic @fillthedarkvoid @rabass @crystalquartzwhump @dont-touch-my-soup

@mylifeisonthebookshelf @hold-him-down @guachipongo @creetchure @leyswhumpdump

@aseasonwithclarasblog @catawhumpus @magziemakeswhatever @pigeonwhumps @batfacedliar-yetagain

@whumpinthepot @dustypinetree @whump-in-progress @pirefyrelight @whumps-and-bumps

@i-eat-worlds @hellodecisionparalysis @heartfullofhoney @alternateminds @taterswhump

[vixeneptune]

♱ Black cat beauty 🐈‍⬛

Powerful affirmations

♱ Black cat beauty

I am the embodiment of dark, feline beauty—my sharp features and seductive eyes are utterly captivating, impossible to look away from. My gaze is magnetic, pulling people in, leaving them breathless and lost in my spell. My plump lips are luscious, addictive, and irresistible, the kind that linger in people’s minds and haunt their fantasies. My face is striking and unforgettable, the perfect blend of mystery and allure. My body is hot, lean, and flexible, moving with the effortless grace of a sleek black cat—sensual, hypnotic, and untouchable. Every inch of me radiates power, seduction, and enchantment. I am a living masterpiece, dangerously beautiful and endlessly desired.

♱ Black cat energy

I radiate pure black cat energy—seductive, mysterious, and dangerously magnetic. My aura is irresistible, enchanting everyone who crosses my path and leaving them obsessed. I am impossible to forget, my presence lingering in their minds like a haunting desire. I don’t chase; I’m always chased. My energy is commanding and effortlessly demands attention. People are drawn to me, craving my time and affection, willing to do anything just to be close to me. I am the ultimate prize—captivating, untouchable, and endlessly desired.

♱ Black cat personality

I embody black cat energy in everything I do—sensual, graceful, and dangerously alluring. The way I move is hypnotic, my every step oozing confidence and seduction. My voice is soft and captivating, wrapping around people like a spell they can’t escape. I have the attitude of a spoiled cat—playful, irresistible, and always in control. People adore me, eager to please me, craving my attention. I always get what I want effortlessly because the universe bends in my favor. My presence is intoxicating, and no one can resist me. I am power, beauty, and desire in its purest form.

♱ Black cat treatment

People are utterly captivated by me, endlessly chasing and pursuing me, willing to bend over backward just to please me. My black cat aura makes me the ultimate fantasy and deepest desire—they can’t resist me. They beg for my attention and affection, desperate to be in my presence. I am their obsession, the one they crave and dream of, forever enchanted by my mystery and allure. They’ll do anything to make me happy, hoping for even a sliver of my time. I am always the prize they long for but can never truly possess.

♡

🐈‍⬛ black cat energy/beauty subliminal!! (V powerful use w caution) :

https://youtu.be/vtqNyjNeGXc?si=QJwPGXx854dzGLgE

♡

[kakusu-shipping]

All the stupid little things Doctor Harley Sawyer does that endears me to him

-Giggles like a school girl when he closes a door on the player. He thinks it's so funny to mildly inconvenience you. Suffer, germ, go the long way around. He does this multiple times and it never fails to get a laugh out of him.

-Has some kind of soft spot to music; Piansaurus and Yarnaby are near identical in intellect and physical ability, the only advantage Yarnaby had to gain the Doctor's favor was he could play music, and did so when near the Doctor. Also Harley personally requested Yarnaby be able to play music because he thought it'd be funny??? And I just think that's cute.

-Makes old man noises like he's stretching when awoken as a computer and it just feels so Extra. He is not physically capable of stretching but he will stretch and hum and haa like he was just risen from slumber anyway.

-"Innocence is bliss, and she is OH so innocent". The emphasis and mic crackling volume on "OH" in this line delivery does so much to my brain. He hates her cutesy little act so much.

-That fruity ass little wave he does when he yeets you down the trap door

-Bonus also the "not even the ground beneath your feet is yours" at the start of the chapter really didn't fit with what he was saying and I have chosen to interpret it as him setting himself up to do this later. He already knew he was gonna chuck the player down the trap door and he wanted a very cool one-liner call back to go with it.

-Has a habit of picking "Problem Children" specifically for projects, both in Quinn for Yarnaby and Kevin in Doey, even against other scientists judgment. Maybe a remnant of how he was a "problem child" that was removed from a special project because of his difficulty? I love a grown ass man who is projecting his traumas onto Children. Always fun in media.

-Picky eater. That's all. I think it's cute. Fuck sweet pickles you're so right bby those things are nasty <3

-In his logs and tapes he always refers to subjects by their test number and with It/Its pronouns, but for some reason in this chapter he calls them all by their character names and correct pronouns, even the Prototype gets it's name and Pronouns correct. I' just curious about this change in demeanor because it was such a staple of how he interacted with the toys before.

-"Come on in, the Doctor will see you now" The verbal eye roll. The distant annoyance. The boredom when the player escapes his little morality trap. I also really like the light up in his tone when the player DOES kill the Critter to escape.

-Brags that his mind isn't easy to break like the other toys, then gets this real far away tone when in his voice on the elevator ride to his boss fight talking about the bell tolling,. Death is coming. His life's work was to prevent it's approach and yet here it comes, up an elevator shaft, for him.

-"I'll bury myself so far down that no one will ever find me! Not you, Not the Prototype, Not Anyone!" The desperate delivery of this line feeds into the previous point. He is falling apart and he's scared and a lot like Doey he doesn't trust anyone anymore and just wants to be left alone.

-Crying in his death scream

[shimxy]

Small update to this a few months later because I forgot to consider something very important in that first post :

I study bacteriology. That is the main thing I work on and I would like to get a job in that field.

I spend my days studying bacterias and germs, disease and rot and how they spread.

Why did I fail to see that this brings me so much closer to the Corruption. I hadn't even noticed it but it had already claimed me.

That's probably what makes its statements even worse to me. I actually think about all the things that crawl everywhere but remain unseen fairly often in my daily life. It is something that is always on the back of my mind and that I will never escape.

I still sometimes think that my curiosity might make me Eye aligned or that my tendency to isolate myself would make me belong to the Lonely but deep down I know.

I wouldn't want to be marked by the corruption but the way it works still fascinates me as much as it is repulsive. And more than that, I still believe that its sweet promises would lure me in.

I've been listening to TMA (just started S5) and I've seen a few people talk about fear alignment.

I am not sure if it is simply the one you like the most or the one you are the most scared of. I think it might be both. Or maybe neither. But anyway here are a few feelings I had about it :

I think the fears I would enjoy serving the most would either be The Lonely or The Eye. They seem comfortable, interesting and fun.

I've always been very scared of heights and I've had vertigo for as long as I can remember. So The Vast would have fun with me.

But I do not think that those things matter. I think the fear I align with is The Corruption and let me explain why.

The Corruption statements are the ones that are the most uncomfortable for me. I do not want to listen to them. They make me want to throw up. And yet I find them fascinating.

They disgust and scare me but I find myself wanting to know more.

But this isn't what convinced me. Mag153, Love Bombing, made me realize that this is the fear that could make me follow it.

I would listen to the Wasps nest that tells me that I am beautiful. I would fall in love with the beetle that tells me it loves me. The promise of companionship would get to me.

Not only is it the one that is the most likely to notice me since The Corruption is the most disturbing fear to me and the one that affects me the most but it's also the one that would be the most successful in luring me in.

I would fall for The Corruption, no matter how much I hate it, I would fall for it. And that might be what scares me the most.

Typing that makes me feel sick but I think that that is what it would want.

[eirenical]

New WiP, who dis?

OK, so I've been sitting on this plot bunny for a while, and it finally got big enough to start jumping on my head with this last rewatch. One thing I've noticed about how Jiao Liqiao and those around her speak of her heritage, it always seemed to me like she was not just descended from Nanyin royalty, but somehow raised as Nanyin royalty, either by a secret enclave of Nanyin royalists... or because she is significantly older than she looks. I went with option 2. ^_~

Enjoy? ^_^

*

The End

*

"Xuan-tangjie!  Xuan-tangjie!!  You can't go.  You can't.  If you go, we'll never see each other again!"

Princess Longxuan turned away from her mirror to catch the child running at full tilt towards her from the door.  She was forever getting away from her minders and none had been hired yet who could effectively corral her.  Since her mother had died, Princess Longxuan was the only one she would listen to.  Longxuan pulled the girl up into her lap, gently rocking her and dabbing at her tears.  "Qiao-er, my Qiao-er, you mustn't think that way.  Our two countries are to be allies.  There will be visits of state.  You will one day marry, perhaps to a noble of Great Xi and we might live together once more.  You never know what may happen in the future."

Longxuan sat holding her young cousin until well after dark.  When she eventually calmed, they talked over other things, gentler things: Qiao-er's new dress, her maid's newest son, born with hair white as snow, what she was learning from her tutors, anything to take her mind off of their upcoming separation.  When she finally fell into an overtired slumber, Longxuan returned her to her rooms and tucked her into bed.  By the next night, Princess Longxuan of Nanyin had become Consort Xuan of Great Xi… and Nanyin was no more.

Qiao-er had been more right in her fears than she knew.

They never saw one another again.

*

The Middle

*

"Xue-gong… I need more time.  I know my cousin.  Xuan-tangjie wouldn't have gone to her death without a plan in place for her child.  I know he's out there somewhere.  I Just have to find him!"

Xue-gong clenched his fist at his side.  His parents had served his mistress until an unexpected bandit raid ended their lives when he was ten years old.  They had never been warriors, never trained to fight.  They never stood a chance.  It had been just he and the princess ever since… until several years later when they'd caught wind of others. 

Servants who had escaped the palace before the army of Great Xi tore it down and slaughtered all inside.  Peasants, nobles even, who had fled across the border, carrying all they dared of their heritage with them, knowing that every word of Nanyin script might give them away.  They'd found many on their journeys, none who recognized the princess for who she was.  Though this frustrated her ambitions, Xue-gong could not help but be grateful.  After all, the more known it was that a princess of Nanyin had survived its destruction… the more likely it would be that she would not survive another day more.  He would not have that.  He would not have the princess' death on his conscience.  No matter how it might anger her to sleep in barns, to hide in rags, to force her tongue to the speech of Great Xi until her native accent was not even a memory.  It would all be worth it if she survived.

"Your Grace, I suggest patience.  To seek recklessly after the prince could be to reveal his presence to those who would do him harm… as well as your own."

The princess threw her hand in the air and waved him silent.  "Bah!  Patience.  Caution.  That's all you ever council.  You would have me hide among the filth until I'm old and grey-haired and too dull-witted to care about the destruction of my homeland."  She began to pace, chewing at the ragged edge of a fingernail that had split just the other day and caused a tantrum the likes of which Xue-gong had been sure would bring the authorities down on their heads.  "It's all about time, isn't it?  Revolutions take time.  Resources.  Allies.  I just need more of the first, so I'll have time to collect the rest."

She turned back to Xue-gong, tapping her fingernail against her chin as her smile widened.  "There have always been stories of people cultivating to immortality.  I don't need immortality, I just need a bit more time.  To hold my youth for a bit longer.  I will find what I need, if I have enough time.  And you will find a way to get me the time I need."

Xue-gong bowed deeply.  What was one more impossible task among the hundreds he'd already fulfilled?  If his princess wanted more time, then surely there would be a way to get it for her.  He just had to find it.

*

The Beginning

*

"You Grace.  You know I will serve you until the day that I die, and beyond that, if I can find a way, but you are playing with fire, and I must caution you—"

"Caution again, Xue-gong?  When we are so close to achieving everything we desire?  What do I tell our people if we back down now?  We have the Rama Vessel.  We have the ice shards.  Shan Gudao has an army ready to take down the demons who stole our land, and Zunshang if finally within my grasp!  Why would you possibly urge caution now?"

"Because Xue-po is gone and she served you well for over 60 years.  Because Zunshang may seem broken and defeated but the look in his eyes screams otherwise.  Because Shan Gudao is not your cousin's long-lost heir and you know that as well as I do.   Because so many of our people are counting on you to build them a new home.  Because you and I have all the time in the world if we wish it and this is not a race, especially if the cost of winning is to lose everything else."

The princess turned, a stubborn look on her face that Xue-gong well recognized.  But even as he watched, that face relaxed, the stubbornness faded.  She took a deep breath.  "As always, there is wisdom in what you say, Xue-gong.  We will think.  We will make plans.  We will bide our time once more if necessary.  We will need an exit strategy."

Xue-gong bowed deeply, relief flooding his veins.  "As you command, Princess."

*

Xue-gong stood in the shadows, safely dead in the eyes of their enemies, as was his mistress… and he hardly believed what he saw.  The Mother Bug… gone.  That could mean only one thing.  He turned to find his princess' eyes just as wide and horrified as his own.

"Li Xiangyi… Li Xiangyi…?  Li Xiangyi is…"  She whirled away, stalking off into the shadows, her voice rising further in disbelief with every step she took, with every bound of qinggong that carried her away from the site of Shan Gudao's defeat.  When they finally stopped, coming to ground near the newest safehouse they'd established, she grabbed Xue-Gong's lapels and shook him hard enough to rattle his teeth.  He let her.

"How can Li Xiangyi be Xuan-tangjie's lost heir?  How?  How is this possible?  He's so… he's so…!"  At this, she ran out of words and simply screamed, pushing Xue-gong away as she began to pace the courtyard.

He waited until she slowed, her breathing ragged, her limbs trembling, before approaching once more.  He put a gentle hand on her shoulder, pulling until she turned and buried her face in his chest, wailing quietly into his robes.  "He stole Zunshang from me!"

Xue-gong held her, softly stroking her hair and down her back, soothing the tears that she seemed unable to stop.  When the storm finally eased, he took a step back, offering a handkerchief for the princess to dry her eyes.  As she did so, he tapped a finger under her chin… and smiled.

"Then won't it be incredibly satisfying for you to use him to steal Zunshang back… and achieve everything else you've ever wanted?"

The princess's mouth dropped open into a little 'o', her eyes widening at the playful tone of his voice.  She breathed out just one word: "How…?"

His smile widened.

"I'll show you."

*

[dommuscle]

What you thought was going be a normal visit to the sauna turns out to be the most mind-blowing experience beyond your wildest dreams. This absolutely stacked muscle god walks in making you drool with his heafty chizzled structure. He sits down looking directly at you with a commanding glare. When he speaks, his deep voice booms through the steam room.

"Come here and get down on your knees boy, you clearly like big guys, I can see your little dick getting hard" (You nodd profusely) "Hahaha good boy, I've been looking for an obedient little fuck toy like you."

He grabs your hair pulling you up off your knees as he flexes his arm. Clearly demonstrating his superiority over you.

You hang limp in mid air as lifts you up higher, holding your entire bodyweight with just one arm.

"You're so tiny, I guess I'll have to be pretty careful at first. But it won't take to long for me to train you up. I'm gonna work you hard so you can n get you tough enough to endure my size and strength"

Once he's taken you back to his place, he rips your clothes off, picks you up and violently throws you down on the bed then slams himself on top of you, squishing you into the mattress and pinning you down.

His giant arm dwarfs the size of yours in comparison, crushing your fingers in his tight grip. He's unbelievably strong, way stronger than anyone who's ever fucked you. He could easily annihilate you so you'd better be an obedient little puppy for him and do as he comands. His crushing grip increases as he positions the huge tip of his cock to enter you. The head alone is enough to make feel stuffed full. He ignores your painful whimpers and keeps pushing further into your guts, stretching you open wide with his immense girth. Your body tingles and convulses as his cock pulsates to the rhythm of his heartbeat as it continues growing inside you. Its getting so big that it pushes far enough to slowly force all the air out from your lungs. Your ribs would probably snap under the imense weight of his body if you werent completely stuffed full by his enormous cock.

Once he's broken you in to the point you cant feel or move your legs, he raises his body up holding you securely in place to start pounding you with heavy, powerful thrusts sending shockwaves through your entire body, breaking your mind more each time he hammers his enormous cock into you. There's absolutely no way of escaping this, you can't even catch your breath to beg for mercy. You're just making deep gutteral shrieks as his cock pushes into your lungs. All you can do now is hold on tight and hope that you survive this.

Finally after over an hour the most ruthless breeding of you life, gallons of his hot cum start coursing through you. Inflating you more and more, your stomach expanding as his huge load fills you up like a balloon. Each powerfull blast feels like a cannon firing inside you. He's ejaculating so much cum, you can't even hold it in anymore. His cum quickly rises up your throat and flows out of your mouth. You try gulping but it won't stop coming! He looks down to notice you gurgling and sputtering in his cum as it gushes out of your mouth, then slams his hands across your face covering entirely and holding your mouth shut firmly.

"I'm not letting you waste any of my protein rich cum, I'm gonna make you hold in every last drop, you need it to get bigger! I chose you as my prey and now that I've got you in my possession, you're really gonna need more strength and endurance to handle my size. A puny little guy like you will never get to my level but at least I won't have to be so careful not to break you in half when I'm mercilessly beating you, pounding you, and crushing you in my arms. But I have a feeling your gonna like being my new cock sleeve.. at least once I break you in a bit more heheh".

He then lays back on top of you with all his weight crushing you into the bed, still holding you mouth closed, stuffed by his enormous cock and thick load. You gradually deflate as his cock goes soft in your guts. Covered in his musky sweat, tingling all over, exhausted and too weak to move, the lack of oxygen eventually causes you to black out.

When you finally come to your senses, you look up to see him towering over you after what looks and smells like a long work out.

His hand placed firmly on the back of your head, pulling you in so your face is pressed up against his leg and his enormous pulsating cock, heat radiates from his sweaty muscles. His scent is so intoxicating your mind goes blank. You lose control of your senses under his overpowing and superior presence. Before you know it you're mindlessly licking the sweat dripping down his cock like a thirsty dog.

"Good puppy.. I knew you'd make a good fuck toy, and I had fun wrapping you up to use you like a kettle bell too, I thought it'd wake you up but you were out cold. I must have really worn you in. But now that you're awake, it's time for some more endurance training, you did so well that this time I want to see if you can take me when it grows to my full size!"

He lifts you up in the air and brings you close to his face and forces his tongue into your mouth, it completely fills your mouth, continuing to force it's way down your throat. His cock rises as he's holding you by the arms. As it reaches your butt it begins lifting you up, growing even bigger and harder than last time. Just his pre cum is far more than you could even make even from climaxing. You're nothing compared to him.

By this time your limbs feel weak from being choked by his tongue down your throat. He lubricates his cock, grabs you by the hips and pulls your ass cheeks apart to begin pushing you down onto it, stretching you open even further than you could imagine. Once he's forced his way back inside you, he wraps his arms around you, trapping you in a bearhug as his tensed rock hard pecks smother you. Practically drowning in all his sweat, gulping and weezing as he pushes the air back out of your lungs. Somehow you manage to stay conscious just long enough for you to feel his cum blast through you again, reshaping and forming you into into his permanent cock sleeve. He carrys you to shower, wearing you like a condom.

"Now let's get you cleaned up, you're doing so well boy, I'm impressed. Even if you could resist me, you're too brainwashed by now to even think of trying. My own mindlessly obedient little pet I can use however and whenever I want"

[dragongirlie56]

05- Solace in Lullabies

My submission for Zelinktines! (and a one shot i’ve been wanting to write for a while now lol)

I chose prompt 2: Singing!

I wanted to only do 500 word drabble…. but I went to 2,000 words. I’m not mad about it.

@zelinktines

Thanks for hosting this! It’s such a cute idea!!

Ship: Zelink BOTW

Angst and fluff balance!

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Moonlight lit the back of Link's tunic. The faint light cast his weak shadow across the stone. He stood at the edge of the spring with his gaze toward the arch entrance. The legendary sword resting in his grip, the tip of his blade grazing the ancient grounds. His cerulean eyes scanned for any ounce of danger that threatened to push past him.

Flurries of snow descended from above, landing in his dirty blonde locks and his sleeves. He couldn’t deny that it was peaceful up on Mount Lanayru, however, peace was far from the young hero’s mind. He could never ease his mind when Zelda was troubled, especially when they visited the springs.

Zelda was immersed waist-deep in the freezing cold water; her once recited prayers shifted into anguished pleas. The bitter heartache laced in her voice was more than enough for him to tell she was reaching her limit.

It tore his heart in every direction.

“Curse you.” His ears twitched slightly at the sound of water splashing and his heart stopped. She didn’t fall in did she? Right as he turned to check she spoke again, easing his initial panic. ”Every single day I pray and every single day you show no signs in return! I’ve been doing this all my life. I had no childhood just so I could pray to you for some stupid powers that don’t seem to work! Do you really wish for Hyrule to crumble at the hands of that monster? Do you want me to fail so terribly that you’d risk the world? Your people? My friends who are risking their lives? My-“ She choked on a sob. “Are you even there?”

Link closed his eyes, a sorrowful sigh escaping him. The goddess was testing his patience. Was she just like the rest of the skeptics parading around Hyrule who doubted the young princess, including the king himself? His fists tensed around the hilt of his sword… some goddess she was and some father the king claimed to be.

A spike of anger stabbed his gut. Screw Hylia, screw Ganon, screw the faithless, and screw the king. If it wouldn’t result in exile, Link would give the King of Hyrule a piece of his mind.

“What is wrong with me?”

The words pierced him like a lynel spear, tearing him from his thoughts and making his eyes widen. Nothing! Nothing’s wrong with you! He wanted to scream out but his throat went dry. Dry with his oath to the royal guard and his appointed position… he was only her protector. But doesn’t being her protector also permit him to support her and protect her emotionally? The thought made him furrow his brows.

“Tell me! Am I really that worthless? Am I not worthy enough to wield Hylia’s great power?”

Her last cry cut the tether holding him down in place. He couldn’t stand by. Not anymore. The blonde set his sword down and descended the stone staircase.

Ice water surrounded him and he sucked in a sharp breath as he waded through the spring. How did she do this all the time?

“Link.” His pointed ears caught her whisper as she turned around. Her wide, green eyes locked onto his soft, blue ones as they reached for each other at the same time. Her legs gave out as she stepped toward him but Link was quick to wrap an arm under her knees and pull her against him.

Her lips were as blue as the fading sky and her face was paler than the color of snow.

I knew I should have pulled her out sooner. Link gritted his teeth as he internally kicked himself. If she developed hypothermia he’d never forgive himself.

A sob racked its way up her throat and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Link, I-I’m sorry.” She wiped away a stream of tears with her palm. “I feel nothing-”

The knight shook his head, tightening his arms around her shivering form.

She worked so hard, he saw that. Every minute, every day, every hour. She was so dedicated to helping her people, that was what mattered. His chest ached… he wished he could tell her he disagreed with her father’s harsh remarks on her and her training. He wanted to tell her that she was more than a princess to him.

That he loved her.

The thought sent his heart in a frantic spiral. He had broken the biggest rule of all. He had taken a hammer and shattered it with little regret—if any at all.

‘Don’t have any personal relations with the princess, it’s strictly professional. For your only duty is to protect her. It is treason otherwise.’ His captain’s words echoed through his ears. In other words, he warned not to fall for the princess.

But Link didn’t just fall, he stumbled into the inevitable chasm and hit the ground rolling. Which… how could he not? There had to be some exception to that rule because lust wasn’t his driving force, no, he was undoubtedly and truly in love with her.

His father would be ashamed of him—-well the knight side of his father anyway. His captain would absolutely be ashamed of him. Though, Link couldn’t find it in him to care.

He’d tell her, but first he had to make sure she didn’t freeze to death.

Link set her down by the tent he had assembled prior to Zelda’s training. He rummaged through his bag before he handed her a set of her warm winter clothes, raising his eyebrows in a silent question.

She sniffled and nodded once. A few wet strands of gold falling into her defeated eyes. He fought the urge to brush it behind her pointed ears.

While she changed, Link picked up his pile of wood to create a makeshift fire. He pulled out a piece of flint from his bag and struck a stray rock against it, creating a spark that fueled the flames.

He tossed a few more sticks in the fire.

”Where should I…?” Link turned toward Zelda’s voice, his eyes softening upon meeting her own. She was standing with her ceremonial dress in her hands; Water droplets dripped from its ruffled edges.

He took the dress from her grasp and gestured toward the orange flames.

”The fire…” he murmured.

”Oh yes, of course. Thank you.”

Link nodded as he laid the dress on the stone—out of reach from the falling snow. He reached into his bag once more, grabbing a spare set of his clothes. He found a secluded area and peeled his tunic off his torso.

The freezing air pierced his skin, making him wince. He seriously didn’t understand how Zelda had done this the last four nights. He would have a word with the king, this wasn’t safe at all.

If he had a daughter, he’d never treat her the way Rhoam treated Zelda and he certainly wouldn’t force her train relentlessly in the frozen mountain with no support or praise. No, if he had kids they would be supported to no end.

Link fastened his spare pair of boots and in little to no time he returned to the camp.

His blue eyes flicked to Zelda who sat on one of the stones near the fire. Color had returned to her face and her lips were back to its pink tint. Her eyes were locked on the dancing flames and her brows were scrunched together.

Oh how badly he desired to see an ounce of her smile. He missed it. Terribly. But with the calamity looming near and the weight of their burdens nearly crushing them, the rarity of the emerald eyed blonde cracking a smile had multiplied tenfold.

Link swallowed and cleared his throat before speaking. His tongue felt heavy in his mouth… voicing his thoughts still wasn’t his strong suit but he’d do it for her.

“Princess. There’s nothing wrong with you,” he finally spoke, wrapping a wool blanket around her shoulders. His forearms rested on his knees as he stared at her.

A heavy sigh escaped her. “Link.” She shook her head, averting his gaze. She let out a sniffle before continuing. “I fear I won’t be able to help you when… when the time comes and you’ll- you’ll die because I didn’t train hard enough. All the great princesses before me were able to unlock it! I’m the only one who-“ She grimaced. “Who hasn’t.” More sniffles. “So there has to be only one explanation. There must be something wrong with…”

His thumb brushed her tears away. “There’s nothing wrong with you,” he repeated, allowing his hand to linger for a few more seconds.

New tears shimmered in her viridescent gaze. ”You really believe that?”

He nodded, though he noticed her gaze drop and the subtle frown on her lips. She was still unsure or she wasn’t satisfied with his answer.

Link moved to sit next to her. His arm brushed against hers, making his heart flutter. He cleared his throat as he leaned back against the wall.

“Yes, Zelda, I really believe it…. I believe in you. And even if your powers don’t come, we’ll be okay. We’ll find another way.”

“Really?”

He nodded. “Really.”

Their eyes met and she raised her eyebrows as her lips twitched into a smile. The blonde knight returned it; her smiles were extremely contagious… to him at least.

“Thank you Link.”

He gave her a nod before shifting his gaze to the flickering flames. They sat in a peaceful silence until Zelda rested her head on his shoulder. Link’s muscles tensed as her hair brushed against his cheek.

“Sorry- I hope this is okay.”

Link nodded—-the only response he could give at the moment. He really, really hoped she couldn’t hear how fast his heart was beating.

After a few moments she shifted and she shivered, pulling the blanket tighter around her.

“Are you uncomfortable?” He found himself asking.

“What?” She pulled away to look at him. “No- I’m fine. It’s just cold.” She shivered again and Link hesitantly opened his arms as he averted her emerald gaze.

Seconds seemed like minutes. Blood rushed to Link’s ears.

Why did I do that? I’m crossing a line-

Zelda wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her head on his chest, sending every blood cell to his head.

Oh what am I doing?

He battled his thoughts, insisting he was only protecting her from the harsh cold. Because that's all it had to be. Nothing more nothing less.

“I’m thinking about too many things… I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep,” she murmured.

“You need your strength.”

She let out an airy chuckle. “I guess…. When do you sleep though? I never see you sleep.” Link shook his head. Always the curious one.

“Please try,” he responded to which Zelda sighed.

“Fine.”

Sleep wasn’t something Link had often, even when he was younger. He remembered his mother would check on him and his sister, Aryll, to make sure they were asleep. She always found him wide awake, looking out the window into the starry night sky.

She’d ask him ‘what’s wrong’ and he’d say ‘I can’t sleep’. She’d then sit on his neatly kept bed and say, ‘You get this from your father.’

Link always found that funny, he never believed it because his old man always snored at this time of night and slept until the birds stopped chirping. No way he could’ve had trouble sleeping at Link’s age.

His mom would pat his bed, tuck him in, and she’d start to sing. There were no words to the song, only the melody. As a child, this never failed to ease him into a peaceful slumber. So maybe…

Link closed his eyes and started to hum. His voice was soft as he sang the lullaby, the one that shared Zelda’s name. It was actually his favorite.

His hum carried in the slight breeze. He wished there was a way to stop time so they could stay in this moment forever without a worry in the world.

Zelda’s breaths slowed and her grip on his waist eventually loosened as the sweet melody came to an end.

Link opened his eyes and let his gaze drop to the sleeping princess.

He’d protect her with his dying breath, that was a promise.

The knight leaned down to lightly kiss the top of her blonde hair as if to seal the vow.

///////////////////////////////////////////////

Zelink masterlist

[gotstabbedbyapen]

Hyacinthus pounced onto Thamyris like a beast seizing its prey, greedily capturing his lips and clashing their teeth. It didn’t feel like a kiss, more like ravenous devouring, until Hyacinthus let out a feeble moan when Thamyris bit him.

“Ah…”

Hyacinthus pulled away and instinctively pressed his lips together, his tongue tasting the faint metallic tang of blood. He wasn’t sure if it was from the fervent kiss just now or if Thamyris had meant to bite him harder but ultimately held back.

Thamyris sighed as he watched Hyacinthus suck on his lip. He reached out, cupping the younger man’s chin, rubbing his thumb gently over his lower lip as he scolded him lightly, “I’m here with you now, aren’t I? It’s not like I’m going anywhere. Why are you in such a rush?”

Hyacinthus stared at Thamyris’ busy thumb on his lips and couldn’t resist playfully snapping his teeth. The bard immediately retreated his thumb with a click of his tongue, “Biting again?”

“I can’t help it,” Hyacinthus chuckled. Before Thamyris could fully withdraw his hand, he swiftly caught it, this time to press a gentle kiss to his wrist, “I love you.”

As he kissed him, Hyacinthus looked into Thamyris’ eyes with a gaze filled with amusement. His warm breath left a tingling sensation on Thamyris’ skin, sinking deep into his wrist, traveling through his veins, and flowing straight to his heart.

It took a long moment before the bard finally responded, “I love the way you look right now.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hyacinthus didn’t know who leaned into the other first, but he didn’t bother to wonder. The moment those soft, petal-like lips pressed against his, he could taste the fresh sweetness of harvested honey and beeswax, a delicate flavor that only tempted him to melt further into Apollo’s touch and mingle with his essence. It would have been a bliss.

Letting out a quiet sigh through his nose, Hyacinthus parted his lips, his tongue teasingly and deliberately licked into Apollo’s mouth like it had a mind of its own, allowing him to swallow the gentle sound escaping the god’s throat as he savored every second of their intimacy.

“Sweet one,” Apollo murmured between their breaths and scents, all tangled in a leisure dance.

Oh, how he loved it when Apollo called him that, whether it was the first time or the thousandth. It was almost arrogant, how openly delighted he felt knowing that a god cherished him with such tenderness and reverence, as if he were the most precious gem in his hands. He should have seen it as a divine blessing, yet he couldn’t help but surrender himself to the love Apollo offered like a man fell into his lover’s embrace.

Hyacinthus rested his forehead against Apollo’s, their lips still grazing ever so slightly as he responded in a soft, honeyed voice, “Yes?”

Answering him were Apollo’s slender fingers caressing his jaw and gently brushing away stray curls before his entire hand cupped the side of his face, his gaze never straying from Hyacinthus.

“Thank you for choosing to stay by my side.”

Each word spoken carried the god’s deepest sincerity and seeped into the prince’s very soul. Hyacinthus’ cheeks flushed as quick as the flame that was kindled in his chest, blazing and hazing like he was intoxicated by the wine of love. And before he could stop himself, he confessed in the very next breath he took.

“I’m just as happy to have you with me.”

Prompt 2534

Write the dichotomy between a character in two different relationships, one is the craziest, wildest love of their life, the other is the healthiest and longest relationship they’ve ever had.

[angelatmidnight1]

God, your fics are a delight to read! So cute and orgsnic and I feel for Tav everytime, I can feel the adrenaline drum up in my chest. And I saw your requests are open!

Not to be a basic bitch, but I would love, love, love something with lee! Astarion. You know that sour, grouchy way he gets sometimes? His haughty complaining at the tiefling party, "Go away I'm brooding", teasing him to thank you and him going, "Hmm? 🤨 Hmmph. 😒 Thank you for helping me, it was very kind 😡😡😡". He really starts earning his 10 charisma stat when he's flustered or embarassed.

Could you whip up something along those lines? There's some mishap or situation that has Astarion snappy and scowling and probably playing at being mad a bit more than he actually is. Tav makes it their mission to coax him into a better mood. (Or forgiveness depending on the circumstance). It just so happens that, as they're laying on the charm, they happen to brush against a ticklish spot...

A Little TLC

Who knew that stealing the Blood of Lathander would lead to an explosion strong enough to level the Rosymorn Monastery? Tav’s curiosity got the better of them, and all of their companions made it out safely, save for Astarion. He is understandably cross with them, and Tav makes it their mission to earn his forgiveness. Sweet words and a little massage can go a long way...especially if the recipient is ticklish. 

Pairing- Astarion x Tav

WC: 2.9k

Warnings- Spoilers for Act(s) 1-2 for Gith creche.

“What in the sweet hells were you thinking, activating that lance? I was right there!” 

Tav recoiled as Astarion, brought back from the dead, shouted at them. There were hidden secrets in the Rosymorn Monastery that promised a powerful, holy relic up for grabs. Tav led their party through secret passageways and found the Blood of Lathander in all of its glowing, shiny glory. All they had to do was reach out and take it.

The next thing they knew, the entire monastery was primed to explode. Gale had teleported himself and Shadowheart to safety. Karlach managed to leap out of the blast radius through a window. That left Tav and Astarion. Tav was sprinting as fast as their legs would take them.They ran through collapsing corridors, turning wildly with no thought but escape. Astarion had been right on their heels—until he wasn’t.

They hadn’t even realized they’d lost him until they burst out into the open air, lungs burning. Only then, as the radiant explosion consumed the monastery behind them, did Tav see no sign of him.

Oh no. No, no, no!

“ASTARION!”

Their shout echoed through the now ruined monastery, mingled with coughing. He didn’t answer. That sinking, guilty feeling weighed them down all the way back to camp, where Withers waited to bring back fallen companions. 

When Astarion materialized in front of them, his clothes and hair were covered in soot. And he was not happy. 

“I’m sorry, Astarion! I didn’t know the temple would explode—I wasn’t thinking!” Tav blurted, hands raised in a placating gesture. “I just... I thought about the relic and what it could do for us. I didn’t mean to put you in danger!”

“Well, I suppose that makes up for this, doesn’t it?” He hissed, “A quick apology with a dash of whining. Never mind the fact that I was obliterated into ash all because you couldn’t keep your grubby little hands to yourself.” 

“But-”

“I mean honestly, what did you think would happen?” Astarion shook the dust from his curls in frustration. “Did you really think you’d just waltz in and take it? That all of the bloody traps were just for show? Gods! It’s one thing to be impulsive, but to be a damned fool-”

“I’m sorry!” Tav frowned. “I swear, I’ll be more careful next time.”

“Next time?” Astarion echoed indignantly. “No, no, no! If there is a ‘next time’, I’ll be pointing the all powerful weapon, thank you.” 

Tav winced at Astarion’s words. They hadn’t meant for things to go so wrong, but the sharp sting of Astarion’s anger made it harder to explain.

“Astarion, I… I really didn’t think it would get that bad,” Tav muttered, lowering their hands to their sides. “You’re right, I should have been more careful. I wasn’t thinking about the consequences, but I didn’t want you to get hurt.” They paused, taking a breath. “I never want to put you in danger. You know that, right?”

Astarion fixed his gaze on them, still looking angry, but the look had softened slightly. “I know,” he muttered. “And yet you did put me in danger and I got hurt. Blown to pieces if I’m being more accurate. If we’re going to reach Baldur’s Gate, I want to be in one piece, if it’s all the same to you.”

“You will! I promise. Next time I find an ancient relic, I’ll make sure you’re at a safe distance, okay?” Tav took a hopeful step towards him. Astarion crossed his arms, but didn’t move away. 

“I suppose that’s better than nothing.”

There was a sudden bout of silence before Tav spoke up. “Can I, um,” they hesitated. “Can I help clean you up?”

“No, you’ve done quite enough already,” Astarion huffed and finally moved out of their reach. “If you want to be useful, draw me a bath and get me some clean clothes. And I don’t want cheap rags.”

Tav slowly nodded. “Alright. Give me a moment, and I’ll have a nice, warm bath for you.” 

It took a little bit of Gale’s magic and a lot of Karlach’s heat to get the water warm. You’d already done the hard work of filling up the wooden bath in your shared tent. Now, you kept on checking the temperature, waiting for it to be soothingly warm. Once satisfied, Tav withdrew their hand, calling, “It’s ready, Astarion.”

“Finally.” Astarion entered the tent shirtless and huffed. “Took you long enough. It is freezing out here.” 

Tav stepped aside, letting him approach the steaming bath. “I wanted to make sure it was perfect,” they admitted, watching as Astarion eyed the water with something almost like approval—almost.

“Are you certain this won’t explode? No hidden traps anywhere?” 

Tav deflated. “I’m positive, love,” they sighed. “This is completely safe.”

“Hmph. As you say..” Astarion put one hand on the edge of the bathtub, waving Tav away with the other. “Now, off with you. I've got layers of dirt to scrub off..”

It stung to be abruptly dismissed, especially since they usually helped with washing his back, but Astarion was still understandably annoyed. So, with a curt nod, they left him to take his bath. 

While they waited for him to finish, their heart raced. It wasn’t the first time Astarion was cross with them. But this was something that was their fault. They paced outside of the tent, intermittently wringing their hands, until a metaphorical light bulb went off in their head. 

If he was willing, a massage was the perfect solution.  What better way to make him feel better than to rub that tension away?

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~

By the time Tav returned back to camp, Astarion was finished with his bath. He reclined outside of the shared tent with plush cushions underneath him. Tav eyed him from a distance. They were trying to read his face, but with his nose buried in his book, it was difficult. They approached him slowly, trying not to make a sound, but the crunching of their boots gave them away. 

Astarion’s red eyes flicked up to them. He sighed heavily. “Gods above, what do you want now?” 

Unlike before, his words didn’t carry a sharp bite. It was a grumble if anything. Tav hoped this meant that the bath had softened his anger. 

“I was hoping I could make all of this up to you,” They murmured softly. They stood a couple of paces away with something held behind their back. “If you’ll let me.”

He glanced between their face and whatever it was that they were hiding behind their back. He looked wairly intrigued. “Hm, now there’s an idea. Though you should know by now that I am not somebody who’s won over easily. So, what is it you have there? A gift? A bribe?”

“Well, maybe a little of both,” Tav admitted and brought their hands from behind their back, revealing the lavender massage oil. “I can’t stand you being mad at me. So, I was hoping I could give you a massage? You know, something to work out all of that tension?”

Astarion blinked. “Oh. That is a little…novel, I suppose. If anything, I half expected you’d bring me some wine. A couple of swigs down and I’d probably forget about all of this exploding temple business. But no, you’d rather dote on me?”

“Yes.” Tav smiled hopefully. It was one of those damned adorable smiles that he’d come to like so much. “It’s the least I can do. I expect you’re still a bit sore?”

“A bit. No thanks to you, I might add.” He huffed dramatically, looking between them and the massage oil. “But if you’re serious, and you’re not god awful at this, then I suppose I can tolerate a massage.” 

Tav brightened and cheered. Their cheeriness tugged at Astarion’s undead heartstrings, but his face remained neutral. “Thank you, Astarion. You won’t regret this.”

“We shall see, won’t we? Now, make good on your promise..” He turned so that he was laying on his stomach, letting his loose shirt slip down to expose some skin. Tav nodded obligingly. They knelt down to straddle his back, already having taken the cap off the bottle to put a few drops in their hand. They rubbed their hands together to warm it up, then pressed their fingertips where his shoulders met his back. 

They started out gentle as they kneaded into the tight muscles. Astarion initially tensed and rolled his shoulders until they found the right spot at the base of his neck. Then, he let out an almost imperceptible sigh, head tilted to the side. Tav let out a breath they’d been holding and chuckled quietly. 

“Feel good, love?” They slid both hands up his neck, moving their palms in circular motions before sliding back down. Astarion gave a minimal hum. 

“Mm— you’re not—not terrible at this,”  he mumbled. He almost purred when they rubbed down his spine, careful to avoid pressing on his scars. He picked up the quiet hush of their giggle and quickly added, “Don’t let it get to your head, dear.”   

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Tav chuckled. They rubbed along his back and shoulders for a few moments more before switching over to his sides. They used their knuckles to knead over his skin, and he shivered. 

Tav momentarily froze. “Everything okay?”

“Yes. Keep going.” Astarion shifted under them, clearing his throat. Tav’s brows furrowed, but they went back to massaging his sides. They felt him shiver again and lightened their touch so that they were barely caressing his skin. They couldn’t see it from where they sat on his back, but he briefly grinned. A successful perception check helped them detect the faintest giggle. Tav smiled and, not wanting to immediately call him out, decided to play along.

“You know,” they started softly. “I really am sorry about what happened earlier. I hope you can forgive me.” Their fingers ghosted over his waist, and he sucked in air through his teeth. Tav craned their head to try and look at him, but he turned his head out of their view. “Astarion?”

“Hmm?” He propped himself up on his elbows, shoulders shaking a bit, as if holding back a laugh. He pursed his lips to conceal a smile. “I heard you, Tav. Now would you shut up and let me relax?”

Tav huffed lightly. Their smile widened.  “Oh, I do apologize. How careless of me. Of course I want you to relax. I shall be as quiet as a mouse, my love.”

Astarion finally gave them a quizzical look. The way they were smiling at them now made him fidget, but he made no move to get up. Slowly, he lowered himself back onto his stomach. “Good. Keep it that way.”

Ah, so that’s how he wanted to play this?

 Tav smirked to themselves and, as promised, didn’t say another word. Instead, they doubled down on their efforts. They wriggled their fingertips ever so slightly up his sides and across his ribs. Again, Astarion fidgeted, but it was becoming more difficult for him to stifle his giggling. 

Whenever he squirmed, Tav’s fingers weren’t far behind, lightly scribbling and kneading over his skin. They didn’t hone in on any one area; instead, they leisurely went from one spot to the other. Tav’s fingers traced a slow path down his sides, brushing across his ribs and making their way back to his waist, where they gently danced over the curve of his hips. This time, Astarion jolted and belted out a loud, startled giggle. He swiveled his head to give a lighthearted glare, and Tav was already grinning at him. 

“You wretch-”

Tav laughed in earnest. They continued their gentle pinching and tickling over his hips, and Astarion squealed. His hands shot out behind him to grip their wrists, but he didn’t make any move to truly stop them. “Come on, Astarion. I just want to see you smile. You wear it so much better than a scowl.”

“You are delusional if you think you can-” His sharp words were dulled as he tittered and grit his teeth as Tav traced along his waist. “C-Can tickle mehehe into forgiving your idihihidocy!”

“Maybe. But, it’s worth a shot, no?” Tav giggled and pried their hands out of his grip. Then, their hands scampered back up his sides, finding purchase on his ribs. Astarion sputtered and writhed, giggling frantically. He tried to sit up and turn around, but Tav wouldn’t let him. They flattened themselves on top of his back and alternated between gently pinching at the bones and scritching over them. They scooched up a bit just so they could nuzzle their head into the crook of his neck. He tried to shut them out by raising his shoulders, shrieking. 

“Please forgive me, Star..” They murmured into his ear, pressing a kiss to the shell. He shook his head as those ticklish kisses continued, his high pitched giggles rounding out to laughter. “I didn’t mean to blow up the temple with you in it. It’ll never happen again.”

“GAhahaha! Oho, I’m going tohoho end you, Tahahav!” He threatened and leaned his head far enough away to avoid the ticklish kisses. So, they moved to his other ear. Meanwhile, they were still tickling along the length of his ribs. 

“But then how would I be able to say I’m sorry?” Tav laughed. After a couple more kisses on his ear, they relented, not wanting to get headbutted accidentally on purpose. They suddenly raised their hands higher and plunged them underneath his arms. Astarion arched his back and cackled. 

“AHA! Nohohoht thehehehre—!” He shrieked and clamped his arms down, trapping their wriggling fingers against him. With a sudden burst of strength, he rolled both of them over, and Tav yelped. Before he could recover, Tav hooked one leg over his waist, returning to their gentle scritches over his armpits. Astarion threw his head back in laughter, hands gripping their arms, but still not fully pushing them away. 

Tav chuckled fondly. They halted their tickle attack to bring both of his hands up to their lips, kissing the tops softly. “See? You’re beautiful when you laugh…and even more so when you aren’t angry with me.”

“Y-Yehehes, well, I’m afraid you’re not off the hook, darling.” He breathed and chased after the warmth in their touch. “In fact I think I need an even longer massage now because of your antics.”

“Oh? I can manage that,” They grinned. “Do you have any suggestions for where I should t—er, massage next? I’m nothing if not a good listener.”

Astarion leered, squeezing their hands. “Tickle me again, and you just might lose these hands.”

“Huh. Decisions, decisions..” Tav pursed their lips as if they were thinking. “Make my dashingly handsome lover laugh, or help him feel good?”

There was a beat, and Tav slowly pulled their hands out of his grip. They idly wriggled their fingers just a hair above his torso, not quite touching. He narrowed his eyes, still playful, and lowered one protective arm over the same area. 

“Tav, my love, I do hope you make the right decision..” He whispered in a low, suspicious purr. He watched their movements like a hawk and, for a moment, it looked like they were going to resume the massage. 

But then, they tentatively poked him in the tummy, and he flinched. Tav grinned a playful grin. 

“I’m gonna go with option one~” They sang, continuing to poke and prod at his belly at a pace that he couldn’t keep up with. He growled in between his giggling and tried, and failed, to grab their hand. 

“Nahahaha! Youhuhu little- ah! Nohoho! When I geheheheht my HAHAHAHNDS on youhuhu!” Astarion squealed and buckled at each poke, opting to cover his face with his hand. His face was flushed from laughing and his fangs were 100% visible, if he hadn’t been covering his face, that is. Tav laughed along with him and pressed their thumbs into his hips, kneading softly. He jolted and lurched forward, uncovering his face to wrestle with their hands.

 Again, he threw his head back in laughter, but he still wasn’t quite stopping them. He’d grip their wrists or hands and push them, though if he really wanted to, he could’ve stopped them ages ago. Tav’s heart warmed with the notion that he was having fun, and that maybe he wasn’t quite as angry with them compared to when they blew up the temple. Tav alternated between kneading his hips and running their nails along the bones, and their lover was in stitches. To add fuel to the metaphorical fire, they leaned back down to press kisses into his cheeks and ears. Astarion wheezed. 

“TAHAHA! Y-you’re sohoho dehEHEAD—!” Astarion’s shrieked threats dissolved into squealing cackles. He pushed his head into theirs as his legs drummed against the ground. Tav snuck a quick kiss to his nose with a giggle. 

“Promises, promises, my darling. You already said—” 

But before they could finish, Astarion found a last ditch burst of strength, and he lunged. Tav barely had time to react before the world flipped—one moment, they were on top, and the next, they were pinned on their back, staring up at a panting, wild-haired Astarion. He gathered up their wrists and held them above their head with one hand. Tav blinked and looked up at him with a wobbly smile. 

“Oh. Um, heh. H-Hang on, Astarion..”

After Astarion caught his breath, his slow, wicked grin returned. “I warned you, darling.”

Well, he certainly didn’t seem angry anymore. After all, he believed that the best apology was well placed revenge. 

A/N: I really hope this fic is to your liking, anon! I'm nervous to post it if I'm being honest because I was juggling this idea with another one and I finished this fic whilst sick, so I don't know about the quality. Anyways, I hope you like it. Also I love how you depicted Astarion's grouchiness through emojis- that was the favorite part of this ask 😆

[mcytegg]

zam w squiddo and kab today,, to me. in my mind.

[im-smart-i-swear]

can you remember being born? were you born at all

[sendmyresignation]

i truly think nearly every my chem song has more than one meaning (this is true of most things) but also that many of those meanings are contradictions and thats the point because that's the heart of my chemical romance: an enterprise which is both fake shrouded costumed performed and also the most genuine thing on planet earth

[sapphorror]

[premamelody]

your final piece, where it all started

where it all began

but not for you

nor for me

but for them

context

[puppy-wife]

sometimes I think DID is also waking up in the headspace of a main character in a Lovecraft-esque novel and I must shout about the horrors and the madness I have seen and witnessed and been part of, but when anyone looks I'm not yelling about Elder Gods, it's just. women

[jarsfullofstarrs]

any fictional faves or characters who you head canon would be beatles fans? curious

OOOOH OK thing is I have not touched a single piece of media with fictional characters in ages🧍‍♂️ ITS THAT BADD 😭😭

butt going off of my past favorite fictional characters I'd say Todd Anderson and Knox Overstreet from Dead Poets Society. Maybe even Steven Meeks??

Rubber Soul would be their collective favourite album. Meeks would probably enjoy Sgt. Pepper's & MMT for its psychedelic rock (I think he'd like the Yellow Submarine movie). Knox would be a fan of their more earlier albums, where most of their songs were centered around love. And Todd is just sitting right at the middle with Rubber Soul and Revolver--the only two Beatles albums he'd really enjoy.

And in order of who's more of a casual fan to a full blown Beatlemaniac, it'd be Todd, Meeks then Knox.

Todd appreciates their music and their influence and culture, and Rubber Soul and Revolver are his top favorite albums, but I don't really see him getting *too* into them. It's just, another band he likes to listen to. (could NOT be me 😔‼️‼️)

Meeks is almost like Todd, but the difference is that he's genuinely very interested in their story. In the film, all of the dps characters were around 17-18 in 1959, so they were almost the exact same age as the Beatles. They would've grown up with them throughout the years. And j think Meeks would find that interesting to think about. He grew up while watching *them* grow up, with and without their music. He'd seen them evolve and change--physically, musically, and to an extent, personally (a lot of the Beatles private lives weren't kept private). That thought would probably keep him up at night sometimes and lead him down rabbit holes through whatever documentaries and books he can find during that time. I can see him even writing down his thoughts in a journal kept near his beatle albums.

And then Knox is like one step away from being a Beatlemaniac. The only thing that'd hold him back is peers telling him that it's "for girls" or some bullshit like that. But other than that he's trying to best to get to the nearest concert, buying the albums and LPs that come out, reading the monthly magazines, and maybe maybe not obsessing over Paul's ridiculously long eyelashes.......