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coleyo · 2 years ago

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HERE'S CHAPTWR ONE OF BITTW! I don't even know how to manage fr,, enjoy!

SUMMARY:

2012 Mikey gets into an accident, one that changes his life for the worst.. or better. Who knows?

2 0 1 2

1) There he was. Michealangelo, being his usual kooky and aloof self, without a care in the world. He'd listen to various genres of music as he'd skate around the lair, despite being told Not to many, (Maybe one too many) Times by master splinter. They could've hurt themselves, or worse, one of his siblings.. That's what splinter would always say.

2) Everytime he said that, it gave Mikey an ick.

3) 'Or worse'? ...What's that supposed to mean.. huh. It's probably nothing, Mikey would atleast convince himself. Whatever. Michealangelo had noticed that The door to Donatello's lab was wide open. What's the harm in taking a little peak?

DONATELLO'S POV

4) 'Finally..' I'd exclaim aloud. A smile formed as I brought an antidote up to view. This... This was the one thing that could Get us to dimension X with little to no risk. All I had to do was keep it safe and we would be good-- no, Great to go! I began to stroll over to A safe compartment where I'd usually keep all toxic chemicals And those alike. Suddenly, I Then heard aloud voice.

_______________________

5) "-DEE'!" Michealangelo came speeding into the lab, with his arms out. The speed was increasing due to the steepness of the surface. "-Mikey..MIKEY, NO!" Donnie mimicked their actions and held his arms out. Them, a collision would then be made. Mikey and Donnie collided into one another, causing the eldest one of the two to drop the antidote. As soon as it hit the floor, a portal was made.. a red one.

6) Boy, that wasn't right.. Donnie winced in pain, as for Mikey, he was very dizzy. The headache was unbearable.. he'd slide against the slippery surface, straight to the portal. Donnies eyes became fixated on Mikey, causing him to scream his brothers name. Unfortunately, it was too late, Mikey fell through, not before attempting to claw at the floor to grab ahold of something, anything..

7) Just as they went through, Donnie froze, bursting into quite the panic.. what should he do..?

NEW-YORK-CITY

2041

(Rise universe)

______________________________

8) Mikey let out a whine as he hit the hard, scrap covered ground. Dirt got in his eyes, and maybe some in his mouth? It was loud, hot, and.. Chaotic.. Mikey sat up, observing his surroundings.. and god.. it was hell.

9) Mikeys eyes widened, sharply inhaling.

Plane wings and other broken parts were scattered around the dust cover ground, as these dog like Creatures ran around, destroying almost everything they saw.. "What the.." The ninja mumbled, backing away, stunned with fear as soon as one of those creatures made eye contact with him.. in the blink of an eye, here It came, running towards him with an absurd amount of speed and force put into its steps. Mikey froze, but before it could reach him, someone with a hockey mask almost immediately defended him with this chainsaw - like object. They'd immediately slice it's head off, oil, blood, some liquid from the machine spraying onto Them, they didn't seem phased. They'd glare at Mikey, who was very.. very confused.. but scared. They'd left their weapon at home..

10 ) "Take my hand!" The stranger urged. Mikey, who would litteraly do anything to get away right now, immediately complied. The figure grabbed Mikey, running from the commotion. The mutant fell back, but the stranger would shout, "-Keep up!" Micheal huffed and began to chase after them as fast as they could.. they'd come to a halt once coming across a huge.. robot? The other grabbed Mikey, the would squat behind a broken down car with tinted windows. Now, Mikey got a better look at them. They wore this hockey mask, one simalar to his Casey's mask. But more or less detailed..

"..Who--" The savior put a finger up to where their mouth should've been signaling silence. Mikey held his word. The Mechanical being passed, The stranger nods, running off. "-H- hey;" Mikey raised his voice a bit, running after the other.. after a while, Mikey could hear dirt crunching behind him.. odd. Mikey took a glimpse back and spotted one of those dog things.. very close behind. This caused the mutant to scream, trying to run a Bit faster.

"-Quiet down!" The masked one shouts before they spotted a base-Looking place. The stranger grabs Mikey's wrist and throws him forwards, past the large gates. He'd take out his weapon in order to deal with the Critter. It didn't take long, one quick slice to the neck and that was it, done and done. They'd run towards the gates, closing them immediately once inside..

11) "-W- what was that!?" The ninja exclaimed, giving the other a look of concern. His Savior removed the mask and smiled, but it didn't last. "-..Um- just one of those kraang dogs.. the usual, y'know?" "-wha-- the usual?" He'd scoff, placing a hand on his chest.

"-..Yeah, um-- I haven't seen you before.. like, ever. Are you a traveler? Looking for anything?" "-I-.. no..Yes? Maybe! I don't know, where am I!" Mikey stood in a panic, his eyes darting around the odd setting. "-Who even are you..?" "-..Right! I'm Casey, Casey Jones.. Or CJ.. ..or Casey junior, or-- Nevermind, you get the point. You--...Wait, You seem familiar, I just can't put my finger on it--" "-Im.." Mikey paused, a bit hesitant. But what Other choice did he have? He had no idea where he was, and this was the only person he could-- wait.. person. "-..Don't you care that I'm a--" "-Mutant? Yokai? Nope, used to those!..Now, you are..?" "-.. Michealangelo.. my friends call me Mikey."

12)

Casey paused, processing the profound information. His brows furrowed.. "-You.. Where did you actually come f--"

13)

"-CASEY JONES!" A Loud, feminine voice would shout. Casey winced.. A woman approached, a tall one. "-H- hey commander o'neil.." he'd laugh nervously, "-What did I tell you about going beyond these gates, it's dangerous out there!" "-i know, I know, but--" Casey objected, "-Look! Someone was in danger.." Jones pointed, shifting April's attention into the small turtle. He'd wave a bit. April raised a brow. "-His names.. Michealangelo.. like--" "-Michealangelo?" April cut Casey off.. "-..that's me.." Mikey rubbed his arm. April glared at the two. "-Lets go. Casey, you're in trouble. You, you're following me." April points at each of the beings. Casey pouts, following the commander into the base. Mikey just went along with it, not knowing what else to do.. they'd enter the base, it was huge. Humans and yokai alike we're all around with different weapons and such.. "-Leon!" April yelled. Mikey perked his head up, familiar with the name. Leo turned, approaching April. "-Guess what your student did, yet again." "-Hey, I stated my case!" CJ objected. Leo sighs, shaking his head a bit before noticing the other. "-..Oh, another yokai, great." Leo said sarcastically, giving jazz hands. April punched his arm, softly. "-Ehem! I'm a mutant!" "-Right, And your name?" "-Michealangelo.. I.. don't really know where I am, one second I'm home and the next I'm being chased by some dogs!" April and Leo glanced at one another. "-I'll deal with him.. c'mon kid. Casey, you stay here with April." "-What! No fair."

14)

Leo begins the lead the younger being down the hall, it was quiet.. very quiet. Soon, the scent of hibiscus tea and cinnamon filled the air. "-So.." Leo started, startling the smaller mutant. "-You said you were at home and then you ended up here?" "-Yeah! .. um.. or I may have made a tiny mistake." "-Ah, no worries." Leo paused at a door, the one in which the scent was coming from. He'd knock before pushing it open,

15)

"Yohoo!~ you're favorite brother is--"

"-Get out, Leon." A gruff, mototone voice would tune. The first thing Mikey noticed was that the other mutant in the room was.. floating.. weird. Mikey stared, How could he be doing that..?

"-How rude.. anyways, Casey found this kid outside of the gates. He looks like you, just when you were so small! Like-- this small--" The older being began to make minor comparisons, only to be stopped from the more strict mutant. "-Leo." The other growled. 'Nardo chuckled, letting out a sigh, "-Sorry, sorry. Anyways, he also has the same name as you and.. he doesn't know how he got here. So I was wondering if you could-" "-You are dismissed, the kid stays." Mikey frowned, he was being adressed as 'Kid' one too many times.. Leo left the room, not before whispering, "-Good luck! Try not to annoy Them. They.. Can be harsh, okay? k, bye!" He'd slam the door, leaving the two alone.

16)

"...Sup!" The younger mutant grins, Not knowing how to start the conversation. The elder sighed. "-You're name is Michealangelo, correct? Don't answer that, I already know. We share the same name and simalar features, for the sake of Confusion, You are to address me as Angelo, Understand?" Mikey narrowed his eyes.. "-.. Yesss..?" "-Good." Angelo smiled. "-So, you're unaware of how you ended up here?" "Yup!" "-I see.. and before you were here, you were..?" "-Messin' with my brother, Donnie.. that other guys has a simaliar name to my other--" "-You obviously don't belong here.. 'you from another dimension?" "-..Wha-- i- wait-.. yes?" "-That settles it." Angelo smiled, crossing his arms. It was simple. The younger mutant gave the elder a look of confusion, before they glared back at them. Mikey was pretty intimidated by this guy, having that they were pretty much interrogating him.. and was way bigger than him-- "-..So how are you floating, is it like-- wizard stuffs or?" Angelo squints, invoking fear into the youngling. That's when Mikey noticed his eyes.. two different colors, just like his hair. He had blue and yellow eyes, and grey hair with black streaks. A few scars were embedded into Angelo's face, bandages wrapped around his arms and legs. Mikey took a step back from the being, finding him a bit, like he thought, intimidating.

17)

"-What." Angelo cocks his head to the side, tapping his Finger on his arm, awaiting a response. All that escaped the poor mutants mouth was mutters and murmurs. Angelo rolled his eyes, "-You are dismissed. Invite april and Leo over here, will you?" "-Yes ma'am?-- sir.. Angelo!" Mikey sped off. Angelo huffs... This happened all the time. Almost every human and yokai thought They were Frightening in some sort of way.. I mean, she was, due to the fact that they were the strongest one here, had a short temper, and was always alone, yet mysterious.

Mikey returned back to the main base and looked around for the commander O'Neil girl and Leo.. and then, There they were, talking to Casey. Mikey hesitantly approached them. "-You, uh-- Other me wants you guys over.." "That's a first." Leo smirked, walking down the hall with April. Casey and Mikey held eye contact before Mikey spoke, "-oh-.. thanks for saving me earlier." "-Ah, it's no problem, it's what I'm supposed to do. Anyways, what did master Angelo say?" "-Well--, he figured out I'm from a different dimension so..?" "-..That's amazing!" Casey smiled, "-I never thought I'd meet someone from another dimension before.." "-Yeah, me neither.." silnce presued before Mikey cleared his throat. "-So.. what's up with Angelo?" "-What do you mean?" "-How he acts..?" "-Oh, that? It's just.. he likes being alone.. well.. now he does. He's powerful so, people just.. accept that and move on. He's been able to protect us from those kraang bots for a while now, and we show extreme graditude for it.. he's just been through a lot." "-..So this is an apoptolyptic world.." "-Unfortunately, yes, but we can all get through this, together! Humans and yokai all united because of this.. disaster. Though I was born into it. But together, we'll all survive.."

Mikey glared, bringing their knees up to their chest, slowly.. This was so much to take in already. For starters, he was in a post-Apoptolyptic World, and next, They would figure out that they were in a different dimension..? It was a lot. Mikey took a deep breath, but kept a smile on his face.. his brothers would come for him, right..?

20) Of course they would.. he had nothing to worry about,.. Probably.

END OF CHAPTER 1

#leosagi #mondomikey #rottmnt #shellshocked #tmnt #tmnt au #rottmnt au #chapter one #tmnt 2012 au #save rottmnt #rottmnt fanfiction #rottmnt fandom

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cannedbabs · 2 days ago

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Here’s the whole post explaining this thought process. Was gonna wait awhile to write it out but the brainrot for this guy is real. He’s seeped into my life into deep crevices not a lot of other fixations have and I’m simply his meat puppet typing to spread his name so he truly never dies.

Anywho, big explanation post under the cut :]

The fandom seems to place a bunch of emphasis “oh look at me I won the first place trophy and these other two lost as always 👍”

This is definitely an important part of his character. He obviously gloats according to the flashback scene in WIR, shoving the trophy and his hand in the twins’s faces and making them noticeably recoil. Though I was ruminating on the idea of: what if he didn’t place first?

In the very beginning of the movie (the 30 years ago bit) when we see Turbo Time if you manage to pause you can see all types of kids playing his game. One of which is a kid who can barely see over the poor wheel. What if someone played it didn’t know how to play at first or some other reason? What if turbo placed second, or worst third? Honestly I don’t think he’d care. It’s 100% happened before. It’s a bruise on his ego, but he won’t die without placing first (and most definitely wasn’t the reason for going Turbo)

In terms of King Candy there is one race he is concerned with “winning” however, and that is the Random Roster Race. This isn’t for any points or gloat (at least outwardly) and it’s simply to be an option that the players can choose from. Who wouldn’t want to win it?

We can probably assume due to Turbo’s nature he has never not once been included in this roster (he probably justifies his position as king to be partly reason if anyone dares question him). Not to mention he is ALWAYS smack Dab in the middle, both in ‘real life’ when the roster is seen resetting before people put their coins in to qualify (not to mention his picture is the last to disappear… attention hog) and in his “What If” flashback when he’s talking to Ralph about Vanellope not being able to race.

This comes with its set of own other obstacles. Unlike Turbo Time, you can play as any character you chose out of the 9. Sure, King Candy looks most odd out of all of the younger, more specifically themed candy racers, and that may come with some curiosity but… if your ALWAYS included in the roster people won’t want to play you (unless you got some die hard KC racer fans who likes how he plays LOL). If you’re a staple people are gonna wanna try to pick racers they’ve probably never seen before to get the chance to race as a cool new character that hasn’t been added to the roster in a while.

Sooo let’s say Turbo, this man who is used to being played by the racers in every instance has to grasp at straws to get even an ≈11% chance at getting picked. Fine. He’s settled with that for what? 15 years? No biggie.

I’ve compiled a dumb list of what I believe his priorities are in regards to sugar rush going from ‘most desired outcome’ to ‘meh it’s okay’ to downright ‘won’t let it happen.’

1. King Candy is added to the roster. King Candy is picked by the players. King Candy wins the race.

2. King Candy is added to the roster. King Candy is picked by the players. King Candy DOESNT win the race (ofc each place after first would be sub categories of this entry)

3. King Candy is added to the roster. King Candy is NOT picked by the players. King Candy wins the race

4. King Candy is added to the roster. King Candy is NOT picked by the players. King Candy DOESNT win the race

5. King Candy is NOT added to the roster.

Turbo can handle loss. He can’t handle the spotlight not being on him, even inadvertently, and he can’t deal with not being *involved*. He went Turbo when he felt like he was being abandoned, even in that brief moment those kids turned heel (I don’t know who made it but someone made a theory that I agree with wholeheartedly that he was abandoned in the middle of a race and thats AUGH) to look at Road Blasters he needed to get involved.

And what did involved look like? Getting them to talk about him. Appearing as part of the game, part of the track, part of the race. We can’t say for certain if he was trying to replace the main car with his (Felix does say he tried to “…take over the new [game]” though I view Turbo as a deeply complex character and Felix as a slightly unreliable narrator for this flashback, so I don’t think it was exactly what Felix THOUGHT it was but yeah. Very similar, at least), but we can say It was to get the attention back on himself at least. Controlled or not, main racer (at first) or not.

((Small footnote that idk where to put it also: KC needing to be on the roster may be some compensation for Sugar Rush not being a cabinet with his likeness on it unlike TT… contrasting Vanellope in some aspects, or something something idk filler thoughts here))

Do I think Turbo values winning? Yes. It’s engrained in his character as a protagonist of his own cabinet. Do I think he’s a sore loser? Oh most definitely. Though I wish more people focused on his need to be talked about, looked at, etc. more. Funniest thing is King Candy (and Turbo) are never truly ever seen alone in any instance, only brief bits (When Turbo is game jumping in the cords… or when KC goes solo to confront Ralph about Vanellope not being able to race: “I come alone!”). Even when silently panicking he has sour bill by his side to fan him (if he was worried about Bill finding out his identity or even getting remotely suspicious he could shoo him away, it’s obvious, but he’s trusting of him enough to even let him ‘help’ with accessing the code room).

Idk!! Lots of things that rattle in my brain. I’m always up for discussions on Turbo. I have conversations with my friends on the daily about stuff like this. Would enjoy hearing other thoughts too :]

Would anyone agree with me in the WIR/Turbo fandom that Turbo doesn’t care about winning as much as people perceive him to or should I see myself out 🫢 /j

(I’ve been doing NUMEROUS character studies on this guy for awhile. Always willing to discuss anything. But this is my main thing I think is commonly misconstrued about his character… and it ofc bleeds over into King Candy as well)

#wreck it ralph turbo #turbo #turbotastic #turbo wreck it ralph #turbo wir #turbotime #turbo twins #?#king candy wir #wir king candy #king candy #wreck it ralph #wir #turbo time

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dreamingofaizawa · 4 years ago

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Powerful Ch. 1

Yakuza! Shouta Aizawa x Fem! Reader

*Mafia AU* Quirkless as well

Warnings: Arranged (sort of) marriage, brief mention of champagne, mentions of violence (nothing too specific). In later chapters: Probably smut

Word Count: 3.4 k

Author’s Note: ALRIGHTY here we go. I just had a fixation on Mafia AUs and, of course, it’s Shouta. What else did you expect? I’m a sucker for arranged relationships. Also he’s a little ooc in here, more confident, more ‘I want it I got it’. Hey, he’s the most powerful man in Japan, might as well have him act like it right? Anywho, I have no clue how many chapters this’ll end up being. Let’s just say this is ongoing for now.

Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4

Enjoy~

25 years old and you haven’t been married off yet. This was strategic on your father’s part. As a rather low-ranking clan he’d purposely saved you, his eldest daughter, for marrying into a higher ranked clan. You’d bring immense honor to the family name. If only you’d known what you were getting into, maybe you could have been better prepared for your world to flip on its head.

The black velvet gown you wear is tailored perfectly to your form, accentuating every curve and dip on your body. The skirt fanned out around you gracefully and a short train trailed behind you as you stepped through the grand doors of the massive mansion. Tonight is the annual celebratory ball, held to celebrate successful unions and achievements. This one was particularly special, you just didn’t quite know it yet.

Since the event wasn’t mandatory, you were told to go in alone as a representative of your clan, while Mother and Father attended to more important matters. Before you even stepped in you fixed your posture and schooled your expression, keeping your form humbled. Heavens know what could happen should you irk the wrong clan.

Inside you were met with an onslaught of mixed everything, mixed drinks and colors and styles. Some wore traditional Japanese kimono, others more modern versions of the garment and others, like you, wearing more extravagant european or western style clothing. Though a rather interesting mix, nothing quite clashed which you were slightly grateful for, since there was no possible way you could make it through the night without a headache if there was an unpleasant mix of visuals.

You strode through and instantly met several lower clan heads that you respectfully bowed to and engaged in pleasant small talk with, moving from person to person, couple to couple and paying respects to all of them. You kept a small smile, a pleasant facade as you waltzed over the hardwood flooring. It took almost two hours of endless conversation before you managed to catch a break in the madness, snatching a small flute of champagne from a waiter and leaning up against a wall for a breath.

You still hadn’t noticed the pair of dark eyes that studied you from the moment you arrived.

____

You struck him as intriguing at first. From the moment you walked over the threshold his eyes drank you in, studying you, observing and judging just as he had with many other women before you. No one here knows it, but the man is looking for a bride. Someone who could stand by his side,improve and uphold his image, help him wield the power that is the Yakuza. Yes, rank is important, but Shouta is too picky to care about rank. He is looking for a specific type of woman, one that can hold untold depths of power without crumbling under the pressure or getting swept up in the rush of it all.

A woman, he decides, like you.

You held yourself with grace, pride and humility. You seemed to understand your position, your probable low rank, while also not undermining your importance nor worth. A woman like you is hard to come by in this world, most just as power hungry and ruthless and greedy as their husbands, all while putting up a cotton candy sweet mask and using it to disguise their conniving ways.

But in truth, that’s what it took to live this kind of life, isn’t it?

It was clear you knew that, while still managing to feel genuine in everything you did, even with an action as simple as sipping champagne. At the same time he can’t deny you are quite beautiful, soft lips and softer eyes, fingers gently grasping your glass with unmatched elegance and an unwavering strength in your posture. You’d bowed before many this evening, and yet you stood taller than even the highest ranking clan heads without challenging a single one of them. Bamboo in this forest of tall, unyielding trees. Capable of wielding so much power.

For a split second his mind wandered to other things, filthy moments shared in the privacy of his chambers, shared breaths and shimmering sweaty skin. He wondered what you would be like underneath him, if you would be a brat or willingly submit yourself to him. He hopes it to be the latter, but wouldn’t completely deny the chance to tame someone difficult. How would you look pinned under his weight, completely helpless to his hands that have killed and tortured? Would you claw at his shoulders or grip the sheets instead? What would you sound like? Your image plagued his mind even if only for a moment.

He’d studied many women over the few hours since the event started, none of them giving him a good enough first impression for him to continue watching further than a minute. There was no question in his mind now. You’d be returning home with him tonight.

____

You had just finished your drink and set the empty glass on a passing waiter’s tray when suddenly the ballroom fell extremely silent. All heads turned, eyes focused on the man that began his descent from the balcony overlooking the floor. He’s gorgeous, long black hair pulled into a low bun and exposing the light scruff on his chin and impossibly sharp jaw, a deep scar curved under his right eye. The full black satin suit is fitted to his form, strong shoulders and rolling muscle evident even under the thick materials. Ink peeked over the collar, a hint at what was definitely intricate sleeves and detailed artwork. His steps were measured, calculated and purposeful as he made his way down and across the floor, the entire room bowing down at his presence.

You know who he is, as does every person here. Top rung of the ladder, Oyabun of the most powerful clan in Japan, his name widely known through the entire organization and yet almost never spoken. Shouta Aizawa, a name both respected and feared, holding unknown power and strength. His reputation is enough to make anyone feel small in his presence, known for his cold demeanor and the violence he’d committed, many losing their fingers, loved ones, and their own lives for misdeeds against him. He’d done most of that himself, marking him as a very dangerous man to be involved with, and an ally everyone wanted backing them.

You bowed down respectfully just as everyone else did, waiting patiently for a release, whether it was from the man himself or a collective understanding that it was alright to rise once again. The former was the first to come to fruition, though you didn’t expect him to be so close to you as he said it. Your eyes met with sharp onyx as you fixed yourself upright. It made you freeze in place, not quite tense, not quite relaxed, your expression hopefully not showing the utter shock you were feeling.

“What is your name?” You blinked only once before your mind caught up, and you willed your voice steady as you responded. What had you done to piss him off? What punishment awaited you for what you didn’t know you’d done? Despite fearing what may come, you don’t dare speak out of turn, even to beg for your life. His next words were addressed to the entire ballroom, you included, his smooth, deep voice booming out and yet somehow not loud at all.

“Any transgression against this woman is a transgression against me. As my future wife she is untouchable, and will remain that way until I explicitly state otherwise.” A collective hushed gasp sounded through the massive hall, your own eyes growing wide and your heart damn near stopping as your brain dissected the information. He just made you his fiance, with no warning, no hesitation, and full confidence. You are now engaged to the most powerful man in Japan, and you have exactly zero say in the matter. Really though, you never expected to be able to voice any opinions considering the patriarchy of the organization, so that bit of shock was quickly overlooked.

“It’s time to retire, little one.” His hand was held out to you, waiting for your own. You blinked, deciding it was best that you saved your shock for later you focused on the here and now and what to do in this moment. Taking a breath, you schooled your face into a pleasant smile and placed your hand in his waiting palm, allowing him to tuck you into his side as you both walked out the front doors and climbed into a black limouzine.

You didn’t allow yourself to relax, sitting silently next to the man as trees and telephone poles whizzed by the vehicle. It was tense, to say the least, his hand possessively sat on your knee as his eyes remained fixed in front of him and yours did the same. Neither of you talked, you slightly out of fear, of respect, and slightly out of sheer shock, your mind just barely able to keep itself together. He remained silent for a purpose. He would talk when you were alone, or when he felt like talking. Which isn’t right now.

You let your mind whirl a bit, worrying about what this meant for you. Worrying about how this powerful man would treat you, how he acted behind closed doors and if he even cared about you or what you might have to say. It’s nerve-wracking, suddenly bound to a power such as him, not knowing what could happen next, not knowing what to do next. There was nothing that could have prepared you for this.

The car slowed as it pulled up to the gate of the enormous estate, shaking you out of your thoughts, and once it opened the drive to the main house took nearly five minutes on its own. It’s a modern home, several stories tall with the top clearly penthouse-style with a full glass wall that overlooks the landscape, the rest of the huge inner home hidden behind crisp walls.

At a full stop, a man opens the door for you, the Oyabun having already exited and held a hand out for you to grab once again, strong muscles pulling you up with ease and leading you through the building and into an elevator. The silence is stifling as you wait for the machine to come to a stop, the soft chime indicating you’ve landed.

Now you’re completely alone with him.

He leads you in and stops in the center of the large main room, stepping away and turning his scrutinizing gaze onto you. You do your best not to tense in front of him, not to show fear, partially for his comfort though you’re sure he’s used to it. His shoes clack softly, rhythmically on the polished wood floor as he begins to circle you, like a predator eyeing its prey, eyes burning paths up and down your form. You barely keep from squirming under his intense gaze, managing to keep still from sheer willpower. He stops suddenly behind you and you feel his warmth as he leans in close before a hand presses into your mid back and another gently grasps your shoulder, gently making you straighten even more, stand even taller.

Once he’s satisfied with your posture he rounds you and tilts your chin just a tad higher with a hooked finger. He’s silent as he shapes you, adjusting your body to his liking. You let him tenderly push and tug, grab and knead and trail those deadly fingers over you until he stops before you, studying you once again.

“You’re my fiance now. You will hold yourself as such, radiate power as I do and command the attention of a room with only a glance.” The reminder of just what was happening made your breath stutter a little, and his hand came up to grasp your chin, making you look up into his dark eyes.

“You will learn, little one, to be the powerful woman I see.” He was so close, the heat from his body rolling over your skin and his breaths fanning over your face. Then he was walking away, motioning for you to follow as he led you to his chambers and bathroom to get cleaned up. You’d be sleeping with him from now on, he said, handing you a robe to change into after you’ve bathed and guiding you into the bathroom before closing the door and leaving you alone with your thoughts as you set to cleaning yourself.

Given you don’t screw things up, you are going to be the most powerful woman in Japan, solely because of a sudden arranged marriage dropped seemingly from out of nowhere. But the longer you think about it, it isn’t really out of nowhere is it? The Oyabun is 30 now, and until tonight hadn’t named a wife, nor any love interests, and therefore no possible heirs. If the man were to die for any reason, those chances only increasing the older he gets, the power vacuum his absence would create would be absolute madness. You’re part of a strategy, just as before. Just as always.

Yet there was no denying he’d struck something inside you. Of all the women in that hall he approached you, a woman he didn’t know from a low ranked clan, for reasons you could only barely begin to guess. He’d called you powerful earlier, the sincerity in his voice making your mind spin. Did he really see you as powerful? And the name he’d used for you felt far too tender on the tongue of such a dangerous man, though you understood the nod toward your previous rank.

Father and Mother must be either confused, shocked, or overflowing with joy right about now. Confused as to why you haven’t returned, shocked, happy, or both at the news had they learned it. With your mind processing everything, your body finally begins to feel fatigued.

You shut off the water before drying yourself, patting your hair in the towel before pulling on the fluffy robe. It was clearly meant for him, the fuzzy black garment large around the shoulders and sleeves engulfing your hands, the garment nearly touching the floor where it’s meant to hang several inches from it on his frame. Despite swimming in the robe, you couldn’t help but feel a bit vulnerable. You’re bare beneath it, not having planned to not return home. Still, it’s late, and the Oyabun needs to shower as well. With a steadying breath, you step out into the room.

He’s standing near the bed, the top half of his clothing discarded and bare skin exposed, along with the heavy tattooing and scars along his body. Dragon scales decorated his skin, along with delicate swirls heavily resembling smoke and clouds that followed the curves of his corded muscles. He is undoubtedly a beautiful man. You don’t realize you’re staring until a miniscule smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth.

“Enjoying the view, little one?” You blink away your daze and shift your eyes to the side, feeling the slight burn in your face at being caught. Instead of answering the cheeky question you choose to change the subject.

“I’m finished with my shower, Oyabun.” He hums, a low sound you can feel in your chest.

“I can see that, little one. And you call me Shouta.” You take a quiet, sharp inhale and nod.

“Yes, of course...Shouta.” His name feels heavy on your tongue, a name that people didn’t normally dare speak. He’s silent as he gathers his things and moves toward the bathroom, stopping momentarily by your side. You’re confused a moment before his calloused fingers gently grip your jaw and turn your head, his lips pressing softly against your temple for a split second before he’s disappearing into the bathroom.

You stand in shock, the tender touch unexpected. Shaking your head, you decide it’s best to lay down. Hopefully you’d fall asleep by the time he finishes bathing, but you doubted it. You’re proven right when, in the midst of mulling over your own thoughts, he emerges in nothing but sweatpants, dark hair still damp as it fell around his shoulders. You managed to avert your eyes before he could catch you staring for a second time tonight, and it wasn’t long before he slipped under the blankets next to you.

There wasn’t a single word shared between you as he flicked off the lights with a remote and settled into the plush mattress. There was no movement from the man as you lay with your back to him. You aren’t entirely sure if the lack of movement unsettles you more than if he were to be shuffling around. It felt like hours had passed in the darkness, your eyes had adjusted and you couldn’t sleep despite how exhausted you felt.

Your mind raced with questions. What happens now? What happens with your clan and parents? Would you have clothes soon? How would he treat you? How were you supposed to act around him? When is the wedding? Is the engagement already official? What if you disappoint him and fuck everything over? The entire situation makes you anxious, for more than something as trivial as your own safety. You shift onto your back and listen to Shouta’s soft snores, signaling his sleep. As silently and gently as you can, you slip out of bed.

You have no clue what you were going to do or where you were going to do it, but you had to get away from him if only for a moment, to let yourself breathe and think. Almost mindlessly, you find yourself staring out of the glass wall and out into the night. This far out, you can see the stars in the night sky clear and bright, and it was a sight you missed having lived in the city most of your life. Right here you have room to think, space to spread your thoughts and calm your mind to keep from jumbling everything in your brain and stressing over it more.

From what you can tell there is a very small chance Shouta would treat you maliciously, so for now you don’t have to worry about that. Considering his power and status, you won’t be without clothing for long. The thought was silly in the first place, but stress tended to make you question even the most ridiculous. As for how you’re meant to act, well that would have to be tested. He’d already told you how to appear to the public, so that shouldn’t be too hard, but being alone with the man was driving you insane.

Soft footsteps broke you from your thoughts. You spin around, suddenly very much on guard, before Shouta’s voice broke through the darkness, his figure slowly approaching.

“What are you doing up, little one?” You bite your lip and turn to gaze outside again, hugging your arms tight.

“Just thinking. I apologize for waking you, Oya-… Shouta.” His warmth hit you before his skin did, chest pressed into your back and large rough hands gripping your shoulders firm but gentle. His breath is hot on your ear and neck, sending a shiver down your spine. Such an intimate action from him only hours after he’d made you his fiance was quite the shock in and of itself, only enhanced by the fact that this man is known for his cold nature.

“Thinking about what?” His hands smoothed down your arms, following them around your waist and encompassing your hands in his, tugging you into him further. Unnatural as it may seem, it feels good, his warmth. In the arms of such a dangerous and powerful man you should feel small and scared, but you don’t. You aren’t entirely sure what it is you feel. Truthfully, you don’t have the energy to answer his question properly.

“About a lot of things. Too many things.” Right now, the only thing you want to do is melt into the man’s arms. His presence is suddenly comforting, instead of worrying, and you feel safe in his embrace. You sigh and lean into him, fatigue finally beginning to tug at your body and mind. Strong arms scoop you up like nothing, and suddenly you’re being placed down on the bed before he climbs in and pulls you onto him. An arm circles your waist while the other cradles your head, a tender kiss placed at your hairline.

“Sleep, little one.” His fingers thread through your hair, massaging your scalp lightly. It’s a soothing action, especially after nearly giving yourself a headache from stress. It isn’t long before you’re nodding off, relaxing into his body and letting his steady heartbeat lull you to sleep.

#shouta aizawa #shouta aizawa x reader #shouta aizawa bnha #shouta aizawa mha #aizawa shouta #aizawa shouta x reader #aizawa shouta bnha #aizawa shouta mha #aizawa fanfiction #aizawa #mafia au bnha #mafia au mha #shouta aizawa x fem reader #aizawa shouta x fem reader

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sergeanthopeless · 3 years ago

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female Byleth S-supports ranked best to worst

(keeping my personal feelings about the pairings themselves to a minimum)

(Gilbert and Alois omitted, since those are platonic S-supports)

(warning: long post)

1. Seteth

This S-support is about as romantic as it can get. This thing just makes my heart flutter every. dang. time. and it’s easily the best S-support in the whole game for female Byleth. There’s a REASON why a lot of people hop aboard the Setleth train after witnessing this masterpiece.

Sure, Seteth lectures his way in and out of the proposal, but let’s be real, if it was any different it would be out of character, and acting the responsible advisor is just part of his charm. Plus, he pledges utter devotion to Byleth for the rest of his existence, and we essentially get wedding vows out of this one. It doesn’t get better than that!

He’s so self-assured during this S-support, and that’s sexy. But he is patient and affectionate with her, and takes the time to make sure there’s no room for confusion. He clarifies that his feelings are not those of duty (which is a problem with some other S-supports), or an interest in perpetuating a Nabatean or Crest-rich bloodline. It’s very clear that he just wants her, and that’s it. But where others put Byleth on a pedestal, this S-support feels like an exchange between equals.

Byleth’s reaction to this one is particularly noteworthy — there’s an unusual amount of emotional expression from Byleth during this S-support, INCLUDING A FRIGGIN BLUSH! Byleth does NOT blush often during these supports. Plus, Byleth asks Seteth to promise that he’ll follow wherever she goes. Unlike some of the other S-supports, it’s very clear that she’s invested in him and wants him.

Favorite quotes:

“I cannot conceive of a world without you in it.”

“I love you, deeply. Will you marry me?”

“From this day forward, I will always be at your side. Through good or ill fortune. Through the greatest of joys and the worst of woes. No matter how daunting the task, I will be there.”

“Courage, my love. Let us go forth and face the world - together.”

2. Hubert

I was genuinely caught off-guard with Hubert, especially since I haven’t played Crimson Flower yet and have gotten all of my impressions of Hubert from the fandom. A pleasant surprise, though, and pleasant enough to snag the #2 best S-support!

He starts with advisor nagging, which is no surprise since that’s his character. However, he doesn’t take too long to get to the point of the conversation, and everything is straightforward yet sweet. It’s very cute how he flustered he gets in the beginning, and his self-consciousness about his suitability as a husband is really sweet. But what really clinched this for me was the privilege of seeing a BLUSHY HUBERT! This surprisingly lovable psychopath gets so dang worked up and excited over Byleth giving him a ring and proposing to him right back.

Favorite quotes:

“[I’d] rather you be with me rather than some dubious individual.” (Yes, I altered the quote, but let’s be real, he wasn’t talking about Edelgard there.)

“I once thought killing you would be a great challenge, but the real difficulty was declaring my love.”

3. Ignatz

This S-support starts with an angry Ignatz, which had me worried. Ignatz is one of those characters where I expected his apparent youthfulness to cause a problem in his S-support (it definitely causes problems in other S-supports), even though he’s actually 17 at the start of game like Felix, Dimitri, Claude, Raphael, Ferdinand, and Edelgard. So I was pleasantly surprised by the sheer maturity of his proposal!

While he’s definitely self-conscious and doesn’t even expect Byleth to accept his proposal, it says a lot that Ignatz still had the guts to do the proposing. While he expresses surpassing admiration toward Byleth as someone who supported him through troubled times, he’s not dependent or subservient. Yes, there is a prominent fixation on Byleth’s beauty, but he’s an artist, so I think that adds more meaning to what would otherwise be an extremely shallow point to make during an S-support.

Favorite quotes:

“You are my goddess.”

“You soothed my troubled soul.”

“My beloved goddess.”

“I want to love you for all eternity.”

“I love you with all my soul.”

Hoo boy, this boy’s got a serious SILVER TONGUE on him! *fans self*

4. Lorenz

Regardless of how you feel about Lorenz, you’ve gotta admit this is a pretty flawless proposal. He reminisces about and apologizes for the trouble he used to cause as a youth, has a smooth transition into the presentation of the ring, and then his composure falls apart when Byleth reveals she’s been wise to him all along. He’s such a perfectionist, and his determination to propose perfectly is very consistent with his character. But I also appreciate that he made sure of Byleth’s feelings before actually asking her to marry him (ring presentation aside).

This S-support makes it very clear just how much Lorenz admires Byleth, which I feel is extremely important in context of his character. He can be incredibly self-centered to the point of being downright irritating, so the fact that he’s now talking about her and is focused entirely on her shows the sincerity of his feelings and how much Lorenz has grown as a person.

The bit at the end where he gets overexcited and uses his full name is hilarious, but I’m glad the S-support doesn’t end there, which would have taken away from it. Instead, it ends with Lorenz swearing to make Byleth happy and work with her in making the world a better place. Equal partners!

The last thing that really made this S-support for me was the voice acting. The broken voice, trembling, and stammering really added emotional depth to Lorenz’s character in this critical moment, and really brought everything to the next level in terms of overall impact.

Favorite quote: “Pedigree and status are no longer priorities for me. I now know that what matters most is the worth of an individual’s soul.”

5. Felix

The moment I noticed that this S-support was taking place at the training grounds, I knew it was going to be good. And it goes exactly as you would expect with our favorite tsundere, flustered and deflecting and all, but the sheer effort that he ends up putting into it is so endearing. And I adore how Byleth messes with him the whole time.

It starts rough, let’s be real. He just hands the ring to Byleth and tells her to “take this.” Oh, Felix. This poor boy is so. friggin. hopeless. You can practically hear his thought process leading up to this point. “How do I make sure Byleth never leaves?... Ah, marriage — yes, that’ll lock her in!” *facepalm*

But Felix’s body language is what really makes this S-support, starting with the finger point and then ending with the kabedon. Plus, we get a glimpse of something very rare: blushy Felix!

Favorite quotes:

“Fight me for the rest of my life.”

“I want you to be my wife. Please say yes. Let’s get married and stay together until we die. I love you.”

6. Balthus

I really didn’t know what to expect with this one, although to be honest, what expectations I did have were fairly low. Yet despite his faults, Balthus managed to scrape together a rather charming S-support! His nervousness and stuttering is adorable for such a big, tough-talking guy, and I love that we actually get an impatient “Just say it already,” from Byleth.

It was nice to see Byleth’s good influence on Balthus, although I’m not a fan of the woman-redeems-man trope. And considering that Balthus asks for up to 5 years to get his act together…that wasn’t exactly a point in his favor.

What made this S-support for me was all of the classic lines. Balthus isn’t necessarily a smooth talker, but it would be wrong to say that he doesn’t know how to talk to a woman. The proposal itself had me ROLLING: “Marry me, pal!” The voice acting was flawless, particularly when he said, “my love.” Balthus, I’ll say this on Byleth’s behalf: please stop trying so hard. And never say that again.

Favorite quotes:

“It’s time to take the biggest gamble of my life.”

“Comfort be damned! I need you by my side. Always.”

“Let’s get hitched right away! I know a guy.”

“To look after you...and be brave enough to let you look after me. that’s what marriage is all about, right?”

S-support portraits shouldn’t really matter here, but I’m going out on a limb here and saying that Balthus’ portrait is the best one of all Byleth’s S-supports.

7. Dorothea

I have a lot of Dorothea feels, okay? She’s my baby girl. And by this point in the game, she’s so jaded and used to disappointment that it just breaks my heart. So when Byleth proposes to her, you can hear the genuine emotion in her voice. She’s so in love with Byleth, but clearly talked herself out of it long before this moment. “You won the war. You could pick anyone in the world. Why would you…?”

And then she’s so happy. It’s not fancy, but her pure happiness really makes this for me. The hopeless romantic finally getting her happy ending is just really lovely.

Favorite quote: “I starred in so many operas where I captured the heart of my beloved. But I never dreamed that it would feel this wonderful when it actually happened.”

8. Ferdinand

Oh boy, Ferdie. There wasn’t much of a preamble, and the presentation of the ring wasn’t anything special. He’s still full of himself: “You hear noble Ferdinand von Aegir declare his love for you, and all you say is, ‘I understand’?” and this S-support is more focused on him than it is on Byleth, which is exactly the opposite of what happened with Lorenz’s S-support, even though they’re similar characters.

That being said, this S-support has its moments. We get a good reaction out of him (even though it’s over the top), and we get a sign of his personal growth when he reins himself in. The trembling and feeling faint is very cute (10/10), and considering his ambitious nature, him saying that he considers winning Byleth’s heart to be one of his greatest accomplishments is sweet, as is the way he dreams about their future.

In other words, this one starts rough, but ends sweet.

Favorite quote: “I need you as much as I need my next breath — more, even.”

9. Dedue

Can we just appreciate that Dedue chose to leave Dimitri for Byleth? That is so meaningful. Dedue spends the entire game unhealthily attached to Dimitri, and finally he finds something that he chooses for himself. Of course, there is the concern that he will become unhealthily attached to Byleth, but I don’t get that impression from his S-support.

There are so many wonderful little details in this S-support. The tiny, modest ring. The straightforward proposal. Both of them gazing at each other in loving, comfortable silence afterward. Byleth’s blush. And DEDUE’S LAUGH. Just. the laugh. It’s important.

Finally, Dedue invites Byleth to come with him to visit Duscur. TAKE NOTES, CLAUDE!! Anyway…

10. Edelgard

*takes a deep breath and sets aside my feelings about Edelgard’s stance on the Children of the Goddess*

Alright, so this S-support is significant because it’s one of the few where you can tell that there is genuine affection on Byleth’s end. She really takes charge of the proposal, going so far as to use Edelgard’s nickname, “El,” to convey affection and intimacy.

At first I was concerned when I heard Edelgard say, “This ring…thank you, my dearest friend,” and I was like HOLD UP – did Byleth just get friendzoned?? But Edelgard clarifies by expressing that she has romantic feelings too, which saves the scene. But while sweet, the rest of the S-support focuses on Edelgard’s ambitions and generally lacks romance. Fitting for her character? Yes. A satisfying S-support? Not really.

11. Dimitri

It’s clear from the beginning of this S-support that Dimitri and Byleth have become close friends. I appreciate the way they talk about their wounds, and although talking about Dimitri’s nightmares is far darker than I expected from an S-support, it shows just how much Dimitri has improved.

What disappointed me about this S-support is the lack of emotion on both sides. Sure, the “my beloved” pet name is wonderful. And sure, Byleth isn’t very emotional as a rule. But Byleth shows more emotional in other S-supports. And there is not nearly enough of a reaction on Dimitri’s side. Come on, dude. You’ve been aggressively simping over Byleth since Day 1, and you’re just taking this proposal in stride?? You should be unconscious right now.

12. Mercedes

I’m so proud of how far Mercedes has come at this point. She’s determined to live in a way that makes her happy, outside of her Crest or anyone else’s expectations. That being said, a lot of this S-support feels more like it could have been an A+ support.

Major points to Mercedes to being the one to do the proposing. A lot of people mistake her kind nature for being demure, which is not the case. She is bold, speaks her mind, and knows what she wants. And in this case, that’s Byleth. Her proposal is gentle and respectful, if a bit bland, and her reaction to Byleth’s acceptance is absolutely adorable. She’s so happy yet insecure, and I wish there was more communication from Byleth to reassure her.

13. Hanneman

Hanneman is an academic through and through, and his nature as a scholar comes through strongly in his S-support. He tries to approach things pragmatically, almost ruins things by talking about Byleth’s role in his research, but fortunately realizes that’s the wrong way to do it and takes a new approach with more feeling. It’s very similar to Linhardt’s S-support, but less self-centered and overall better. Hanneman treats Byleth as an equal, and shows enthusiasm in his own way.

Overall, this is an extremely pragmatic S-support, but it’s not without its charms. That being said, it definitely requires an interpretation of Byleth’s character where she has developed a taste for academia.

Favorite quotes:

“I suppose there’s no reason to hold ourselves back any longer.”

“I don’t want the power of your Crest - I want you.”

“I can’t wait to see the results of this undertaking.”

14. Yuri

This S-support is very consistent with Yuri’s character. The scene opens with Yuri trying to repay his “debt” to Byleth, which definitely lacks in romantic vibes, but works in context. It’s nice to see Yuri nervous and out of composure, but I admit I had been expecting…more…from him with how charming he’s supposed to be. Then again, like Sylvain, maybe the fact that he’s dropped the façade is supposed to make it meaningful. At least he blushes! Blushy Yuri is something I didn’t know I needed. The bit at the end where he whispers his true name in her ear is very nice, too.

But yikes…Yuri talks about his death. And considering that in most of the routes, Byleth ends up being most likely essentially immortal, this hits HARD. She is definitely facing the death of her lover in a few decades at most, and that is not something she wants to think about during a proposal.

Favorite quote: “In return for this ring, I ask for you.”

15. Raphael

Raphael is a pretty clueless, non-romantic kind of guy. But the sudden proposal is very cute. Considering how awful he is at expressing himself, it works really well with his character to simply have him jump right in and get it over with.

That being said, I couldn’t help but feel that his reasoning for getting married was just a little loose. He always wants to be with Byleth and expresses that he wants to serve as her knight. Uh, you realize you can do that without marrying her right, bud? Byleth didn’t seem to be very into this proposal either, although she does have a wonderful little smile in the S-support portrait, which makes up for that. I love how the portrait emphasizes Raph’s size and strength by having him lift her up bridal style. It’s an actually flattering portrayal of him, too.

Favorite quote: “And…I’ll love you. Forever and ever. And ever!”

16. Sylvain

Ah yes, Sylvain. Our favorite train wreck. The good news is that he’s finally taking charge of his life, and I like that he’s straightforward in this S-support rather than flirtatious, which means that you know he’s being sincere. It’s cute to see him genuinely happy, and his statement that “I’m going to spend the rest of our lives together trying to make you happy,” is very good.

However, the “If you told me you never wanted me to look at another woman, I’d go blind for you” is going too far. I know it addresses his skirt-chasing character, but I just don’t know if they could have a healthy relationship. I know this is rating the support scene, not the ship itself, but I don’t think that’s a positive indicator for the future.

17. Claude

This S-support gives me so many bad vibes. Yes, he expresses his love for Byleth as well as his utmost confidence in her, but dude, actions matter more than words, and your actions speak VOLUMES. He’s the only one to just run off at the end of the S-support, and while I understand his reasoning — I really do — it’s clear that his own agenda and ambitions will always come before Byleth.

This is what I heard: “Right now, Fodlan is like a newborn... so that’s why I’m leaving, so you have to do all the hard stuff yourself. See ya, sucker!!” Ah yes. Prime husband and father material there. Obviously.

“I’m sorry that I won’t be by your side at such an important event...” Uh huh, yeah right. You’re obviously itching to get out of there.

I’m sorry, Claude stans, but giving Byleth an engagement ring and then running away for who knows how long is LAME.

18. Jeritza

The first thing that struck me about this S-support is the fact that it takes place in the Agarthan HQ, Shambhala. This is super meaningful because it means that Byleth and Jeritza go there together to use their killing prowess to take out Those Who Slither in the Dark post-Crimson Flower. It’s a nice way to tie up the route. The portrait is super dynamic and unique, too. That being said…

He’s still fixated on killing Byleth. If that’s your thing, then hey, I can’t judge. At least we all know that if he hasn’t killed her by now, it’s never going to happen. It’s such an empty threat it’s probably an inside joke by now. But Jeritza’s clearly still figuring out his feelings, which means I’m not sure it really counts as an S-support (it would have made a better A+ support imho). There are also things about this pairing and S-support that have some serious implications for who Byleth has become by this point and what the future is likely to look like. Good storytelling, yes, but as an S-support…not my favorite.

Favorite quotes:

“It is you alone who can slay the demon inside me.”

“To the very depths of hell, I will tumble down with you.”

19. Linhardt

This S-support falls flat for me. It’s like Hanneman’s, but worse because it’s super self-centered. I feel like it’s a really bad summary of Linhardt’s character because so much more could have been done with it. Linhardt has lots of good traits, and this S-support ignores all of them. Instead, we have a one-dimensional S-support that focuses on Linhardt’s laziness and penchant for napping. He’s so self-centered and consumed by his own interests, so saying that he wants to study Byleth for the rest of his life makes her more like an accessory to his life plans rather than a central component. At least when Hanneman says he wants to study Byleth, he makes it very clear that he loves her and wants her as a person.

And the line where he says "I didn’t honestly think you’d reject me” is just…wow. Much disappoint. If I were Byleth I would turn him down on the spot just for saying that.

20. Ashe

Ashe’s S-support comes off to me like he’s pledging himself to her as a vassal more than actually proposing. Yes, he does take initiative and does the proposing, which is consistent with the fact that Ashe is a gutsy little guy. But he’s so stuck on being helpful that the S-support ends up feeling immature. Plus, Byleth doesn’t seem very enthusiastic about the proposal compared to other S-supports, and overall Ashe’s worship of Byleth comes off as more dependent than romantic.

21. Caspar

We’ve reached the bottom four S-supports, starting with this disaster. Caspar is juvenile, reckless, and oblivious. (Don’t get me wrong — I adore his character and see him like a little brother.) Byleth has to take charge of the proposal, which is not a problem in itself, but then Caspar confesses that he hasn’t even thought about marrying Byleth — or anyone at all! asaslkjasdflk FAIL

At least the victory shout is kind of cute…if painfully cheesy.

And they get worse from here…

22. Rhea

I don’t have a lot to say here. I know I said that I would keep my personal feelings about the pairings themselves out of this, but I feel like there are certain things about this particular pairing that need to be addressed along with this S support.

Age gap aside (because frankly with immortals, age doesn’t really matter anymore), Rhea CREATED Byleth’s mother, essentially making herself Byleth’s grandmother. Incest vibes, yo. Plus, she fully intended to sacrifice Byleth’s life in order to bring back Sothis — which, granted, is a sentiment that wears off, and Jeritza is just as bad in terms of original intent to kill Byleth. This makes any kind of romantic revelation on Rhea’s side just…weird.

There are some good quotes in this S-support, and we get a ton of reveals about Rhea’s character development in a short amount of time. She’s self-conscious of her other form as a dragon, she acknowledges the wrongs she did in the past, and she expresses a desire to repent. She acknowledges the pivotal role that Byleth has played through her choices and accomplishments, rather than attributing them to fate and the “flow of time.” But honestly this would be more appropriate as a final scene at the end of the game, not a romantic S-support.

23. Cyril

Oh boy. Where do I start with this one? It’s so bad...

This boy is BABY. 19 years old after the war? Sure. Attractive design? Yes. But still, he. is. BABY. And the S-support portrait makes it so much worse by making him look freaking TEN.

And he’s so, so oblivious. Even worse than Caspar. He barely has a personality as a character outside of being committed to the servant mentality, and he has had no opportunity to discover himself as a freaking person outside of his obsession with Rhea. It should be illegal to even consider this kid for S-support. One thing would be if it was platonic, like Alois or Gilbert, but Byleth gives him the ring, and that means it’s supposed to be romantic.

Plus, Cyril says that he loves Byleth, but it’s super casual and comes off more like familial or friendship love rather than romantic love. Unless I missed something, I don’t think Byleth ever says that she loves Cyril in their S-support. And the end is just the worst: “Love ya, see ya in the morning.” That’s IT???? There is absolutely no indication of a mature relationship, and that’s just scary and gross.

I just…really hate this S-support. There’s only one S-support that’s worse…

24. Sothis

Forget everything that I said about keeping my feelings about particular pairings out of this ranking. This is a TRULY CURSED S-SUPPORT.

I don’t care that Sothis is technically a goddess whose age is beyond counting or mortal comprehension. All that matters is she looks like a child. She is lolibait. And to top it all off, she doesn’t even have physical form (thank goodness) — she’s just an apparition in Byleth’s head!

And this quote? “I love you deeply! Overwhelmingly! passionately! Ours is a love without an end!” I only have two words: PEAK CRINGE.

It would be one thing if Sothis came back in her adult form. Or better yet, if she had always been in her adult form as portrayed in the fresco in the reception hall. You can do something with that. But that’s not the case, Sothis is portrayed as a pre-pubescent child in both appearance and personality, and that’s just pedophilia vibes, y’all. I can’t believe this is a sincere S-support option.

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buckyownsmylife · 4 years ago

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Lucky - Logan Howlett smut

The one where Logan catches you touching yourself when you’re supposed to be his.

Warnings: masturbation (f), oral sex (f), slight voyeurism, playful possessiveness, reader is a dumbass, Logan is in love, p in v, dirty talk, unprotected sex, a single spank, kind of a cum kink?, creampie

A/N: If a man tries to control when you can orgasm without your consent, please ignore him and get yourself another one. Logan here is obviously jesting and even if he were to create such a rule, he’d only enforce it with his girlfriend’s acceptance, of course. Day 4 of kinktober and the prompts were masturbation + eating out.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

As soon as I hear my room’s door close behind me, the stress of the day started to leave my tense muscles. Just being surrounded by my stuff, that I’d been carefully collecting since my arrival in Charles’ academy four months before, was enough to send the message to my brain: you’re home, relax. No one is going to disturb you here.

It wasn’t necessarily true, of course, which was one of the cons of living in the same place that I worked, but the probability of one of my students coming all the way here to ask for help, advice, or any other sort of guidance was extremely low, thankfully. As 5pm approached, the youngsters too began to relax, opting to look for social activities or hobbies to occupy their time instead of training and studying. In all my time here, no one except teachers had come to bother me in my own bedroom, and even that was extremely rare. Everyone seemed to understand the need for some alone time after a day of responsibilities.

So that’s why this room that was designated to me had this ability to instantly make me feel better, I guess. Up until now, the only other place that managed to make me feel so safe wasn’t actually an environment, but a person.

Logan.

We’d been some sort of unspoken thing for a while now, only about a month. Despite his usual grumpiness that seemed to be directed to keep me away from him right after my arrival, the fact that I didn’t seem to care quickly made him curious, and this curiosity soon became a particular interest in seeing me underneath him, moaning pleasurably in his bed.

He made me feel safe, and the truth was that I didn’t care that after a month, we still hadn’t decided to give a name to what we had. All that mattered to me was that he wanted to spend time with me too and that he treated me right.

But he’d been gone for the last four days on a special mission assigned by Professor X, so that meant that my current situation couldn’t really be blamed solely on my student’s behavior for the day. Oh, no. This particular tension came after my body had grown accustomed to being treated to multiple orgasms night after night, only to be abruptly denied those treats.

I missed him. I hadn’t had to touch myself in over a month and I’d spent the last few nights depriving myself of it because I knew I could never give myself the kind of pleasure that Logan could. Only he wasn’t here, and I was going crazy, especially since no one had any idea of when he would be back.

I needed him.

So I decided to grant me at least some sort of relief, as pathetic as it’d be, in the hopes of calming my longing body. The first thing I did was strip down to nothing. My favorite pampering activity was a nice warm bath after a stressful day of classes, and from Logan’s comments, I knew he liked it when I took the time to lather myself up in essential oils, too. On more than one occasion he commented that it made me smell “good enough to eat”.

It was only after said bath that I laid down on my still-made bed, spread out to appreciate the silkiness of my own skin after a good hydration session. The smell of coconuts from my favorite cream helped to ease me into the right state of mind, that I so desperately needed so I could start softly running my fingers over my thighs without that stupid inner voice that wanted to make me recoil in embarrassment.

I was a grown woman in the privacy of her own room. It was stupid to be timid about needing to touch myself, so I focused on the desire I could feel rising through me, and not on any other pop-up thought that insisted on making its way into my brain.

It became a lot easier when I thought about my lover.

Oh, how I wished Logan was here. He’d love to see me in this position, legs spread open for his eyes to take. Only the thought of his piercing eyes fixated in my naked body was enough to get me wet, and that elicited another memory of him. How he’d groan when the smell of my juices hit his nose, immediately prompting him to get on his knees in front of me and bury his head between my thighs. He’d lap me up eagerly, hungrily, like I was an entire feast dedicated to him after a life of restraint. As passionate a lover as Logan was, I don’t think there was anything he loved more than eating pussy.

If he was here, he’d say mine was the only one that provoked such an animalistic reaction from him. I’d laugh, refusing to believe anything that came out of his mouth when all he could think about was burying himself inside of me, but I’d blush nonetheless. A part of me wanted to believe I was special to him, despite his years and the number of women he’d most certainly laid with, mostly because he was special to me, too.

But I couldn’t afford this sort of thought, so I opted to focus on the memory of how Logan’s tongue felt against my clit. I let a single finger touch it, trying to mirror the same pattern of movement he’d make. It was nowhere near the same sensation, but it was enough to prompt me to release a little moan of pleasure.

We were starting to get somewhere.

Logan’s P.O.V.

After four long days of fuckery, the only thing I could think about was going back home straight to my girl’s arms. So as soon as we were through the academy’s doors, I took the stairs two at a time to go directly into her room, having memorized her schedule long enough to know that she’d most likely be there.

No one tried to get in my way. They knew better.

Much to my surprise, as I approached the now familiar doors to her room, a familiar scent engulfed me, prompting me to tune into the sweet sounds that I’d dreamed about these last nights. They were very discreet, but for someone with my enhanced abilities and extreme focus on her body and reactions, it was very obviously there.

Blindly, I reached for her door, slowly pushing it open and welcoming the warmth and overwhelming perfume that I’d come to associate with her presence, especially during the times she was releasing these delicious little moans. Immediately, my ears picked up on another, much dirtier tune: the squelching sounds her fingers elicited from her sweet pussy as she fucked herself.

I almost fell to my knees, as my legs suddenly lost the ability to keep me upright, but I was able to hold myself back just in time. Wouldn’t want to miss the show, especially when it was making me so fucking hard.

Finally venturing further into the room, I came face to face with the beauty waiting for me. She hadn’t noticed my arrival yet, too preoccupied with her pleasurable activities, her eyes closed shut in concentration as her mouth fell open in that delicious silent scream I liked to swallow so much.

I watched as she touched herself a bit more, attentively looking for the telling signs that she was close to her release, and just when the muscles on her thigh began to clench, I leaned over her and wrapped my hand around her wrist, pulling her fingers from inside her cunt. The surprised gasp she let out made me smirk.

I sucked on her fingers, enjoying my first taste of her after what felt like forever. A deep groan erupted from my chest at her sweetness invading my mouth. “Missed me?” I teased when I finally reopened my eyes to find her staring back at me with a lustful expression.

“You have no idea just how much,” was her answer. I was enough of a man to feel proud of her response, but it also became clear just how much I had actually become soft for the woman under me - a stark contrast to the hardness I could feel restricting my jeans.

When she first arrived at the academy, I hadn’t expected her to become as important to me as she had now, but just as I struggled to take off my clothes as quickly as possible before kneeling before the bed, pulling her by the ankles so she was spread out just in front of my face, I couldn’t really deny it. I’d do anything to keep her with me, just like this.

“I think I have some idea of it…” I teased her just as I softly ran my fingers over her pussy lips, simply collecting the wetness that had gathered there.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

He once more wrapped his lips over his wet fingers and moaned at my taste in his mouth. “How are you this fucking sweet?” Was all he asked before he delved right in, parting my thighs with his large hands and licking from my puckered hole to my clit.

“Fuck!” I cursed, throwing one of my hands over my head, to find something to hold onto, while the other found its way into his hair, pulling on it just the way I knew he liked. I felt his groan reverberating through me before he chuckled, briefly stopping his ministrations to stare up at me with his lower face dripping from my wetness.

“I love when I can make you curse.” Biting my lip, I accepted that I couldn’t retaliate his teasing while he continued to eat me out. His tongue easily engulfed my whole pussy, so just that was enough to bring me to the edge of an orgasm in a way I could never grant it to myself. “Come on, sweet girl,” he admonished, slapping my thigh. “Ride my face. Give me what I came here for.”

I obeyed him without even thinking about it. This was just how it was when it came to us. He asked me to strip, my panties were on the floor before he finished his sentence. He ordered me to get on my knees, my mouth was instantly watering at the sight of him.

But God, did he deliver. My compliance came very easily when it came to a man like him, so eager to please beyond what his body could already offer. I’d been with many men before who, while obviously not as well-endowed as him, had been on the bigger side, and they always left me needing more, like they believed their dick’s length was enough to satisfy me without any real effort from their part.

Not Logan, though. Oh, no. Logan thrived on making me cum, over and over again. He liked to say he’d live on my pussy alone if possible, and by the way he very hungrily ate me out for hours on end at times, I knew he was being honest.

I sometimes liked to entertain the idea that I was the one who brought out that side of him, but I knew better. Someone like Logan had a lot of experience, I was dumb to think that I might be somewhat special to him, somehow. So I didn’t.

Instead, I allowed the filthy sounds of my wetness being gurgled down by him to bring me back to this moment, choosing to focus instead on how delicious his tongue felt against my clit, how he happily accepted my movements as I buckled up, in search of my orgasm.

I was right over the edge, in need of just a little something else to push me over it when Logan suddenly decided to open his eyes and focus them on me. The sight of his darkened eyes and dilated pupils was enough to make me throw my head back against the soft pillows of my bed as I reached bliss.

When the stars of light disappeared from my vision and I came to my senses, Logan was still in the same spot in front of me, his thumbs softly caressing the inside of my thighs. “You’re back with me, darlin’?” He asked in that deliciously gruff voice of his, and I shivered, nodding breathlessly as I wetted my lips. “So now, let’s have a talk. Who said you could touch yourself while I’m away, huh?”

I blinked once, then twice. My mouth was slightly agape as I looked down at Logan, still sprawled out for his viewing pleasure while my mind raced to make sense of his words. “I-I don’t understand,” I finally confessed, my eyes following his movement as he climbed up on the bed until we were face to face for the first time since his return.

Logan’s P.O.V.

I tsked teasingly, leaning down to deposit a quick kiss on the corner of her lips. “I asked you…” I breathed out on her ear, watching as goosebumps raised over her skin. “... who said you could touch yourself, darlin'. Because last I checked…” I cupped her cunt with one of my hands, chuckling lightly at how I was able to cover it with my palm. “... this pussy was mine and only mine.”

“I-it was?” Now, hold my heart (and my cock) but she just looked too fucking cute with that confused look on her face, her eyebrows frowned as she stared at me like I had grown two fucking heads.

“Of course, sweetheart. Now, I know we hadn’t talked about this before, so I’ll let your pretty little ass spank free this time, but be warned…” I leaned over her again, my nose touching hers as I felt her little breaths against my own lips. “... next time you’re feeling horny, you ask your boyfriend to help you deal with it. And if he’s not around, you wait.”

Now, I was expecting some kind of reaction from my little rule, and I was 100% ready to negotiate, but what I wasn’t expecting was for her eyes to grow twice their size as she suddenly sat up on the bed, forcing me to lean back and take a seat, too.

“Boyfriend?” She definitely looked confused, her eyes searching mine for something I didn’t know since I was just as puzzled. Opting to stay silent, I simply stared back at her, both of my eyebrows raised high as I waited for her explanation. “You mean… you?”

The familiar fire of anger rose up quickly inside my chest, and I had to curl my hands into fists to control myself. “Of course it’s me, who the fuck would it be? Are you sleeping with anyone else?”

Rationally, I knew my problem was less anger and more disappointment. I’d let my guard down for her - way too quickly, faster than I’d done for anyone else throughout my life. And I’d done it because she touched my heart in a way no one else had. I was falling for her, and I thought she felt the same way too.

“NO! Of course not!” She all but jumped, her hands reaching out to cradle my face and I found myself actually relaxing against her touch, as my heartbeat started to slow down at the knowledge that she really was all mine. “I just… I didn’t know… I didn’t think we were dating. I thought you saw me as…”

She didn’t seem to have the courage to finish her sentence, but she didn’t need to. I understood what she meant, and as realization fell upon me, I found myself throwing my head back and full-on laughing, much to her displeasure. When I managed to calm down, she was pouting at me, which only made the arousal that had dissipated by the fear reappear that much stronger.

“Oh, darlin’...” I started, pulling on her ankles to force her on her back again as I hovered over her, watching, analyzing. “I’ve fucked you every single night for the last month. Now, I know I’m not the kind to talk about my feelings, but I figured that made it pretty obvious…”

Leaning down, I took possession of her mouth to give her a breathtaking kiss, forcing her to accept my eager tongue, to taste herself on my lips. Then I went further, kissing her jaw, her neck, until I reached her collarbones, where I sucked a bruise, all the while rubbing my aching cock against her clit before pushing it inside of her in one forceful thrust.

“... You’re mine. Only mine. Mine to fuck, mine to bruise and mark, mine to cum into.” Her mouth immediately fell open at the feeling of my hardness stretching her open, and I couldn’t help the smirk that took over my lips. “You okay with that, sweetheart?” I asked, waiting for her to adjust to the feeling of being invaded as I nibbled on her earlobe.

Finally, after a few minutes of her struggling to breathe as I felt her squeezing my biceps, she nodded. “Y-yeah.” Grinning, I took that as an okay to start moving and immediately started to pound her against the mattress, just like I loved and had come to learn that she did, too. Her nails bit on my flesh, but it only added to my own arousal, making me growl against the skin of her chest.

“This fucking pussy… You really thought I’d just treat you like a fuckbuddy?” Abruptly pulling out of her, I manhandled her onto her hands and knees before pushing her face down against the mattress, all the while laughing at the little scream of surprise she let out. “I’m never gonna stop fucking you, pretty thing. You better watch out.”

She was moaning desperately now, just how I’d dreamt of hearing while I was away from her, and it made my sack even heavier as it slapped against her clit with each thrust I gave. “Fuck… ‘m gonna cum, sweetheart. Do you want it? Say you want my cum in your pretty little pussy, come on.”

After a gasp that followed my slap on her ass, she flipped her head back, looking at me with those fucking sultry eyes that I loved so damn much. “Please, Logan, cum inside of me. Wanna feel it dripping from me, please, I need it so bad.” And this is why I was convinced she was some sort of siren or whatever. The second that our eyes connected, I was fulfilling her wishes, releasing all of my milky cum inside of her throbbing pussy, as she came at the same time as me.

Once I was able to breathe again, after having thrown myself by her side on the bed, I pulled her so she’d rest her face on my chest, chuckling to myself over how much of a cuddle lover I’d become ever since we’d started sleeping together.

“Hey, Logan,” she called out my attention, making me hum in response as I looked down to find her staring up expectantly at me. “I hope you know that this goes both ways.” I blinked twice as I waited for her words to make sense to me, but before they did, she was giggling, already clarifying her meaning. “You’re mine too.”

To say that those words filled me with the happiest kind of warmth would be an understatement. I didn’t know what to say, I’d never been good at this lovey-dovey shit, so I settled for pulling her back to me again and giving her forehead a kiss.

“Believe me, darlin’... I know.”

#logan howlett #Logan Howlett smut #wolverine #wolverine smut #smut #my fics #logan howlett imagine #logan howlett imagines #wolverine imagine #wolverine imagines #logan howlett fanfiction #logan howlett fan fiction #wolverine fanfiction #wolverin fan fiction

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quokkacore · 4 years ago

Text

lost and found [bang chan]

summary: looking for your soulmate is difficult to do when you’re also looking after your daughter. but on a chance shopping trip, when you lose her, you end up finding her, and your soulmate, whose soft smile and cute dimples offer a lot of promise.

pairing: musician!chan x singlemom!reader

genre: soulmates au, slice of life, meet-cute, holiday special-ish?, fluff, minor angst towards the beginning.

warnings: brief mentions of kidnapping, language, eating

song rec: exo - wait // chen - shall we?

word count: 2.1k

a/n: helena writing something that isnt angsty or smutty? apparently thats possible. december is gonna be pure winter fics says the girl who lives in a country where its SUMMER but go off and i’m posting a two part exo fic tht i’m rlly excited for on christmas eve and christmas day, so pls look forward to tht ^^

It only took a minute. It felt like even less. You turned your head to look for a sales employee, and let go of your 4 year old daughter’s hand to grab the hand she was holding onto to look through the shirts you were going through. Your eyes and hands were off of Annie for the briefest of moments, and when you reached out again, when you turned your head to look downward… gone. Like the wind.

That had been ten minutes ago. Now, you were wandering around the department store like you had gone crazy. To a certain degree, you had. Don’t panic if you lose sight of your kid, all the parenting articles had said. So naturally, you were doing exactly that. Once your mind got the gears turning, it was hard to get them to stop. Your inner pessimist was already whispering to you, what if she left the building? What if some creep snatched her up? What if she had gotten hurt?

Why couldn’t you have just stayed home on your day off? Why did you have to decide to haul yourself and your daughter along to the mall to do your holiday shopping today? You were immediately beginning to regret every decision you’d made in the past few hours, tears prickling in your eyes and a lump beginning to grow in your throat.

You wondered vaguely if she’d left the department store and was now wandering around the mall. That could be an entirely different possibility. You’d gone around the department store twice now, not seeing a single sight of her. Your grip tightened on her winter coat—which she had given to you when it got too warm for her from being inside—and started looking for a security guard instead. Maybe they could call out to the other security guards in the mall and keep a lookout.

Just as you spotted one, beginning to think of what you could say to give a physical description—her hair and eye color, which were both the same as your own, the red t-shirt she had on, the jeans, her height—a notification bell rang throughout the department store on the speaker system.

“To Annie’s mom, Y/N,” The woman on the PA system said, “Your daughter is at the help desk at the north entrance of the building.”

A swell of relief swept through you as she repeated the announcement one more time, and your feet, of their own volition, started towards the exit of the department store. What a fucking relief. You had entered toward that side of the building; meaning, yes, she’d left the store, but she hadn’t gone too far. Your heart was racing, sprinting towards the entrance. Your eyes darted back and forth, desperately waiting for the desk to come into sight as you rounded the corner.

When you turned, your eyes caught sight of your little girl, Annie, standing in front of the desk, teary-eyed, next to a young man in a black hoodie, watching her quietly. Your feet sped up, and when you were about fifteen feet away from the desk, your daughter turned her head to the sound of quick feet making a mad dash across the floor. Her eyes widened, and her little feet shot in your direction. “Mommy!”

She ran up to you, and you crouched to grab her in your arms, engulfing her in a hug that felt like it was more for your sake than for hers. You could feel a giant weight falling off of your shoulders as he sniffled against your shoulder. You found yourself having to blink tears out of your eyes. Pulling away a few seconds later, you wiped away a stray tear trickling down your little girl’s cheek.

“Honey, you can’t just walk away from me like that,” You murmured shakily, “I was so worried.”

“‘M sorry, mommy,” She sighed in a small voice, lower lip wobbling. Your heart clenched at how upset she was, and you put your hand on her cheek to calm her down. “Wanted t’go look at the toys. But I didn’t see you ‘nymore after.”

You sighed, pursing your lips. “I’m so glad you’re safe. How did you find your way to the desk?”

Annie turned her head, wide eyes fixing on the man in the oversized hoodie. Dark, frizzy curls paired with eyes of the same color, warm and welcoming, watching your interaction with his elbow propped up against the desk. “He helped me. Showed me where t’go.”

Your eyes met the man’s, and you stood slowly, holding onto Annie’s hand. You made your way over to him, flashing him a small friendly smile. “Annie says you helped her find her way here? I can’t thank you enough. I was this close to losing my mind.”

He let out a quiet laugh, nodding sympathetically. “I can imagine,” He replied, revealing a deep Australian accent, “I remember when I was a kid, my little sister got lost at the supermarket. My mum just ‘bout went nuts looking for her, and she was only missing for like five minutes. When I saw your daughter all alone, I got this horrible feeling, and I remembered my mum… I couldn’t just leave her there, y’know?”

You laughed. “Kids,” You sighed warmly, “You can’t take your eyes off of them, not even for a second. But honestly, thank you, uh, Mr…?”

He smiled, and as your other turbulent emotions began to subside, you realized he was insanely cute, taking note of his rosy, heart-shaped lips and his dimple. “Bang Chan. Uh, but just Chan is fine! Really.”

“Chan,” you repeated, your smile growing. You turned your head to look down at Annie. “And, what do we say to Chan for helping you, Annie? Sweetie...?”

But she didn’t seem to be listening to you. She was too busy gawking at your hand, which was holding onto her little one. You furrowed your brows, eyes falling to where she was looking, before your mouth fell open.

This was the last thing you were expecting, you thought, as your eyes fell upon the red string tied around your finger, eyes trailing forward, forward, until they made their way to Chan’s index finger, and then even further, meeting Chan’s eyes, which were wide as saucers. Evidently, he hadn’t been expecting this either.

“Mommy,” Annie said, confused, “That string just showed up out of nowhere. Like magic!”

It was your turn to not answer now, too in shock, blinking stupidly at Chan, who was doing the same. It felt like an out of body experience, unable to stop your mouth from gaping like a fish, while watching you and this ridiculously charming, handsome-for-absolutely-no-reason man come to the realization that the universe had tied you together, quite literally.

“I-I…” You choked out, unable to speak. Oh my god, you idiot, you thought, say something! Don’t just stare!

“Mommy.” Annie’s free hand was tugging on your long, brown winter coat now, which snapped you out of your idiotic gawking. You looked down at her, and her eyes were glittering with excitement. “The string! ‘S’the one you told me about last week! Th’one that shows up when you meet your… your… snow mate!”

That seemed to truly snap you out of it, for some reason, and you let out a sound somewhere between a cough and a laugh.

“Annie, I think you mean soulmate.”

“Yeah, that!” She started jumping up and down, and your face grew a crooked smile. You looked back at Chan, who was watching the interaction warmly. His eyes met yours when he realized you were looking at him, and he smiled at you in a way that made your heart do an anxious little tap dance, like he had known you for years and wanted to catch up.

In a way, it was true.

“So…” You said, “You said your name was Chan?”

He giggled a little at your breathless tone, and you grinned giddily. You felt like a teenager. It was honestly a bit embarrassing.

“You wanna get some lunch? My treat.” He sounded insistent, but his eyes were still creased up with his welcoming smile. “I insist.”

“What are the odds?” You asked with a smile, having finished your lunch—some pizza from the mall Chan had insisted on paying for—a few minutes ago, now watching Annie run around over on the indoor playground with some other kids there. Chan was sitting across from you at the table. “The last thing I was expecting was to find you, y’know?”

“I think there was a higher priority on your list of things you needed to find at the moment.”

“Ha, ha,” You deadpanned, “You’re hilarious. Tell another one.”

“Alright, what do you call a—”

“No!” You said with a giggle. “I heard enough earlier when you told me the one about the yakuza and the jacuzzi.”

Chan laughed gleefully, resting his chin on his hand. The string had since disappeared—they disappeared some ten minutes after meeting your soulmate. “But really, it is pretty crazy. I read a few weeks ago that only 3 out of every 10 people actually manage to find their soulmates.”

He didn’t respond but his eyes studied your face, gaze fixated on the bridge of your nose. “Call me biased,” He murmured, “But you’re very beautiful.”

You looked down, feeling your face heat up. “Thank you. You’re pretty handsome yourself.”

“Ah, thank you.” It was Chan’s turn to smile bashfully, the tips of his ears turning red. He looked down at his hands, which were on the table. A brief silence settled over the both of you, and you pondered over how he had been during lunch, gentle in his questioning but also incredibly sweet whenever Annie said something or asked a question, and how he always looked genuinely interested in what she had to say.

As a single mom, you never really had time to date. But both times that you given it a try, they didn’t seem to care about Annie or what she had to say. But here, now, Chan had been so happy to explain how he made music when she asked, or let her have the last slice of pizza, and it didn’t come across as disingenuous. It didn’t have the slightly condescending lilt some people put on to talk to younger children. He didn’t speak slowly and loudly, but he was aware that he needed to simplify his language given that she was still a little kid. He took things at her pace, and you could see that Annie warmed up to him instantly.

Still, you were a little wary.

“Look,” You said softly, eyes turning to the playground, looking for Annie. When you found her, chasing a little boy around, you smiled softly. “I’m really excited to have found you, Chan. It’s something I’ve always wanted but never expected. But… y’know, I’m a mom, above everything else. Ever since she was born, Annie’s been, and always will be my number one priority. I need you to understand that.”

You met his eyes again, and they had turned more serious, attentive to your words. “I totally understand that, Y/N. I wouldn’t want to come between you and her, and I don’t expect you to drop everything for me. Especially if it involves Annie.”

“Thank you,” You answered softly, nodding. “It’s hard for her. Her dad and I broke up a few months after she was born, and she sees him maybe once or twice a year. She’s in such an important age for her development, and needs me just as much as I need her, y’know?”

He nodded again, humming in accordance. “Of course. I’m totally willing to wait if you’re not ready yet, or if you want to set certain boundaries for her wellbeing... Whatever you feel is best for her.”

Slowly, his hand made its way to rest on top of yours. He was almost cautious about it, brushing his fingers gently against your knuckles. “You really made my day.” His voice was warm, eyes full of mirth. You smiled. “You made mine too. Because I found my soulmate and you stopped me from having a heart attack by saving the day and finding Annie. I’m never gonna thank you enough for that.”

He laughed. “I’m glad I was able to help. It led me to you.”

Lowering your head as your heart skipped a beat, you looked at his hand on yours, then at Annie, and finally back at him. A rosebud of hope began to bloom in your chest.

Seeing his dimples as his eyes shone, you had a solid feeling it wouldn’t ever wilt.

taglist: @decembermoonskz

#rebootkpopnet #bang chan x reader #chan x reader #kpop fluff #kpop au #kpop scenarios #skz scenarios #skz x reader #stray kids scenarios #stray kids x reader #bang chan fluff #bang chan angst #kpop angst #skz angst #stray kids angst #my writing

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aimasup · 5 years ago

Note

Maybe i'm late but, did anyone, like actually have left remus in a small place (for his claustrophobia) for like 4 hours or something just because he did something bad? If yes did anyone just stayed here and heard him suffer? Or actually tried to help him out in secret? Sorry if it is long ^^'

Deceit’s smarmy snake grin never left his confident face. Oh god, Remus was giving him the look. No one ever liked being given the look, something that no Side should ever be subject to, carrying the promise of your emotional vulnerability, a sackful of seeing through your bullshit and a dash of demented purity rivaled only by Patton. And Vir

Deceit cleared his throat, loudly and with purpose. “Well? Go on, Remus.”

Remus rolled his eyes, a childish staple of his that always looked comical. “Oh come on, Nope Rope, you and I both know you spout more shit than a bull with diarrhea after one of your nightmares. So you might as well follow it up with some tea.”

So much wrong had just come out of Remus’ mouth. The man smelled like tonsil stones on a good day yet he still managed to surprise the Sides with horrifying bouts of intellect every now and then. The slimy little bugger.

"Clearly you've remembered what I told you about calling me names."

Remus leaned happily. "Nakey Snakey."

"Remus..."

"Boop Noodle!"

"Remus."

"Dangle Fangle!"

"Remus! Shut up!"

Remus feigned offense. "I'm trying out ones that start with a D!"

"That's not my point! Now distract me with musical ditties as you were instructed, you foul wretch!"

"Slithervester Stallone-!" Remus had time to squeal before Deceit squashed his face with a pillow and snatched the remote. The game was on as if by instinct and Remus tackled him from under the pillow, shrieking muffled. Deceit whacked him on the head, hard, with the remote. Remus was distracted momentarily, so Deceit took the chance and shoved him off of him with more force than necessary, insulting him all the while.

"-you nitwit, you just can't listen, can you, you moron, you bitch, you're so thick-headed, do that again and I swear-"

"You'll what, you'll lock me in the closet?"

All of a sudden, it was like an invisible giant had drowned the room in heavy syrup. The tightness from before returned and Deceit, still breathing hard, glared at Remus with gritted teeth and panicked eyes. The Side was below him, pillow on his chest, grin gone and singlet askew.

That one sentence, although it needed no context to tell who had been on the receiving end of it, brought more distress to the deceitful side than it did to the other, strangely enough. They kept their eyes trained on each other. Neither would admit that they felt like they were breathing molasses and it wasn't sweet. The television had long ago blacked out, a deafening silence following its rather meek departure.

Remus' eyes didn't stop glowing. Deceit's didn't either. None were good signs, but Remus still said, in the rare soft tone his voice could manage at times, "That's the problem, isn't it?"

Deceit swallowed. He turned away and stared at the floor, eyes narrowed to slits. He had put down the remote with controlled harshness on the sofa. He exhaled through his nose and never made eye contact with Remus.

Everyone had their little tics. Remus hated being called scary. Roman was a compulsive perfectionist. Patton had a repression habit. And Thomas didn't want to be a bad person.

Neither did Deceit.

"You know I'm over that, right?"

"... obviously."

That could mean anything, and that wasn't even getting to which part of the question he was answering. Remus bit his tongue. His canines dug into the muscle, and he pulled them out again, breathing in the scent of his own blood. Feeling a bit better, he turned away from Deceit and stared at the black screen of the TV.

"No, really you don't have to worry about it. You worrying about it pisses me off."

Still no response.

"Deceit?" Remus couldn't help but feel a bit concerned at this exchange.

------------------

"Who--who are you?" Fun blurbled at the figure on all fours before him. Fresh tear stains still stained his cheeks, an ear-to-ear smile etched below his eyes.

Something was off. Heart had run away with someone who looked like him, and had left him alone. He'd never do that. He'd always stuck with him through anything, no matter what he said or did. But the look Heart had given him... it was as if he didn't know what to make of him all of a sudden. Less than that, even.

The figure, still cautious and poised to pounce, didn't answer. Its impossibly wide reptilian eyes glowed bright in the dark, illuminating nothing on its entirely pitch black body, and Fun could make out nothing but a few familiar features.

"Are you a--a Side too?"It flinched and hissed at him. Fun found that he didn't duck away from the grotesque mouth that opened too wide. Or more like, there wasn't anything in his head that told him it was gross. He found it cute because it was gross, in fact.

When the brown-rimmed mouth closed, it was as if it was never there. It glared at him through narrowed eyes and spat at his feet.

"Oh."

With all the pure spite radiating off of the thing, it still approached, walking perfectly on its hands and legs. It didn't look clumsy moving like that, and Fun suspected it had always been that way.

"Wh--what are you doing?"Fun tried not to find this tiny demonic thing adorable. Didn't help matters when it planted its face on his sticky, black knee (... huh.) and walked off.

Before Fun could process what just happened, it turned around with the calmest expression and stared. And waited. It wanted him to follow.

As adorable as the thing was, Fun still had his doubts. He didn't want to leave. This was where his friends were. Curious little Learning, sweet as sugar Heart, cowardly yet caring Careful. But he had a feeling they didn't want to see him again.

It broke his heart.

So with a greasy squelch, Fun struggled to his feet and went with the creature.

------------------

"Deceit, you need to stop holding yourself over that. We can't be like the Others."

The further lack of response frustrated Remus. He probably should be trying to comfort Deceit, but that wasn't his type. Tough lo--learning would have to do, it was how it always went. They couldn't afford to be wishy-washy with stuff like feelings.

"Deceit, if you don't stop feeling bad about it I'm gonna smack the shit out of you. With my bare hands. And this morning star."

"Aren't you trying too hard not to be Roman?"

Remus slammed his weapon into the pillow. "Well I think you're trying too hard to be Patton!"

"Wouldn't you think Virgil would have wanted that?" Deceit was weary. Remus breathed in sharply through his teeth and stuttered.

"What?"

"It's clear we weren't the best to him. It's not his fault he left. It was for the best. He needs better than us. He deserves better than us."

"What the fuck!" Remus threw up his hands. "What the fuck, Deceit! What happened to being your own person? What happened to not giving a shit about living up to anyone's standards?! You don't know what you're talking about, because you're tired, and you're just a hypocrite who was never able to see past your own horseshit!"

"I know."

Remus wanted to rip his hair out. Deceit's or his own, he didn't really care. "Jesus Christ! Ugh!"

He flumped into a pillow and screamed into it.

Deceit watched him.

------------------

"You know, it's kinda weird how you don't wanna be called a Side, you know? Like, you look like Heart, and we all know that Heart looks the most like Thomas. So you gotta be pretty important. If you look the most like Thomas. Next to Heart. You know what I'm saying?"

It was still silent. The quiet walk down the tattered corridor had been awkward, and now that they were up the stairs and in some padded room that was probably the creature's, Fun tried to fill the silence as the creature studied him. It prowled around Fun as he sat cross legged on the floor, leaking tar all over the place.

"And, well, Learning is super important too. And Careful. We're all super important." It brushed by his shoulder and stared at his back with interest for a good two seconds before sitting back on its haunches.

"But Learning only looks the second most like Thomas. Careful just likes his hair to be all dangly. Though he clips it back sometimes to fit in? I think? I dunno."

"Anyways, I just thought that maybe once we're done here, with." Fun looked at the creature. "Whatever this is. I could bring you back with me to the others! I just got rid of the bad stuff in me, and once I get all cleaned up, and you too, we'll be all okay again!"

The creature stopped prodding at his back and he could feel it staring into nothing. Fun couldn't help but note the lack of breath on his neck. Either it gave up trying to appear human a long time ago or it was just that short. He giggled at the thought.

But that faded away when he started feeling slight concern. It was too silent. He hated silence. Fun turned to look over his shoulder, then shuffled his body around to peer at the creature, who was now deep in thought.

"Hey bud? What's wrong with ya? Cat got your tongue?" He chuckled. "I've heard that from Learning and Heart a lot. You're gonna love em. They'll help you lighten up! Trust me, we've been through lots together, they'll like you too!"

It lifted its head up and fixated him with the saddest stare anyone could give a Side. Fun felt his excitement at meeting a new friend weather away when he felt that something was terribly, terribly wrong.

A thin line of brown appeared, and widened. It's eyes darted here and there with consideration. It was choosing its words. Fun titled his head as it strained to force out words.

"Not."

"Uh. Huh? You can talk!"

"Fun."

"Wait, what are you saying?"

It bounced in place with clear frustration. After clutching its head and shaking it, it tried again.

"You. Not." It tried once more. "You. Not! You! Not! Fun!"

Fun withered under its glare, a little hurt. "I'm not fun to be with? I'm sorry, uh-"

"No!"

Fun's heart ached for the thing, confused and intrigued. All of them learned how to speak along with Thomas. How was it that this Side didn't?

"Gone."

"..."

"Fun. Gone."

"I really don't understand."

"Fun." It drew a capital F in the air. He nodded, a little less lost. It nodded too.

"Fun. Split. Gone. You. Green. Half. Heart. You. Red. Half. You." It was closer now. It stuck a finger onto Fun's chest, sorrowful expression looking like it was supposed to be welling up with tears. Its jaw trembled. "Half. Bad. Half."

"Not. Their. Fun."

Fun wasn't so sure about anything anymore. He understood it perfectly, he just really didn't want to. "You can't be serious."

It was. It looked as if it has never been more certain of anything in its life. It lowered its head.

Panic gripped him like no other and his mind began racing. He gestured wildly.

"Then--then who's that other half?! They can't go on without Fun! Thomas can't go on without Fun!" The partial emptiness that he'd been trying to ignore a long time ago had grown more apparent as he ranted. "I can't let that happen! What will they do?"

Half. Bad. Half.

It struck. 'Fun' felt his chest drop to his stomach. "They. I'm the bad half."

The creature was still as a statue."They--they think--they think the red me is--is Fun, they, Learning, Careful, H-Heart--they don't know me."

The black and green outfitted grease blob blubbered on. "It's--it's not fair! I know them! I drew pictures with Thomas, I came up with our names, I--I'm--I know what Fun knows!"

He desperately turned to the creature in front of him. "They can't do this! I-if the other me is Fun, then I'm Fun too! I'm still Fun! I still know them! I still love them! At the very least, I'm still one of Thomas' Sides!" The creature silently stared as he kept talking, as his words blurred together with cries of anguish, as he put his forehead to the floor, bunching his sash in his hands. All tears had run out earlier, and there were only bawls of despair that dissolved into whimpers.

The humanoid grease blob didn't know what to call himself anymore. But it still wasn't fair at all. The truth was that. They thought that their Fun had returned from the battle, sword held high and rid of the beast. To them, Fun was better than ever.

But what was he?

------------------

"When you explained in your dumb loophole way that my stupid ass brother wasn't me, it was the first time you had advice you didn't follow, did you?"

"Remus, you can't pretend you don't feel the same."

"Fuck off!" Remus groaned. "I'm not pretending for anything, Dee, I've said it multiple times, I have nothing I want to hide! But you can't be serious about wanting to be like Patton!"

Deceit pondered his answer. "I may or may not have considered it."

Remus let go of Deceit's shirt slowly. He still fixated him with fierce angry eyes as his fingers loosened, setting the smaller Side down a little. So he didn't actually think it. Just a passing thought. Okay then.

Deceit straightened his collar and smoothed out the wrinkles in his outfit. And he was back to looking sullenly at the a spot on the carpet.

Remus swallowed. God, this was harder than it needed to be. He wondered if this was how Deceit felt when he was younger, rawer in his state, unable to speak in anything but opposites. He didn't have to teach Deceit how to not speak in opposites, because the more they raised each other, the more Deceit's black scales had resided and his speech freedom loosened up.

They always talked it out, they always had to stick close. So why was it so hard now?

------------------

The squeal of unbridled joy when it was introduced to noir films, the long bath chases, the practice with his creations and tentacles, the nights spent splayed out messily on the same bed after a nightmare. It was simple. So simple.

------------------

Deceit could feel the stare from Remus leaving him. God, if that moron tried to comfort him now he was going to explode. His eye would leak tears like a broken faucet and he would be a pathetic blubbering mess, and Remus would have blackmail until the day Thomas finally died.

He swore he could feel the long exhale and mutterings as Remus thought on what to say. He really didn't care, in the end. Deceit wanted nothing more than to do his job and think nothing of anything ever again. He didnt--

"Virgil's gone, and there's nothing we can or could do about it. Because of how we are. It's jackshit to say we can change our nature. Nothing. Nada. Zero." Firm hands with black acrylics gripped his shoulder and turned his tired eyes onto Remus' own.

"Feeling sorry for yourself won't change anything. Things happen, jackoff."

Deceit's breath hitched, but he didn't quite feel like crying, oddly enough. Strange that through gritted teeth and eyes that could gleam death to anyone who doesn't know Remus well, he felt more clarification than all his thoughts combined. His mind had chanted a mantra of things his whole life, and what Remus said was only one of them. Deceit had been hoping to finally hear them from an outside source. But somehow, someway, Remus had found a way to make this line of reasoning sound less harsh.

Unpredictable as always.

"Remus. I.."

He placed his hands gently on Remus' wrists, patted twice. Remus let go and studied him, an air of sternness and also nervousness apparent in his face. They simmered in the unsaid apology, sitting on the couch in their lonely, mangy living room, like it was a vague yet satisfactory ending to a movie. That was how all their arguments would usually end, but it was rarely in any way fulfilling.

Deceit thought on it. Swallowing the hard lump in his throat, he choked out a laugh. "God, we're such a mess."

Glad the tension was broken, Remus smiled, ugly shark teeth in full view. "Yeah we are. We're the Mindscape's dumpster fires."

They were delirious with more emotion than they experienced on a daily basis, and they both chortle along to Remus' weak joke. Jesus, if you could lose fat due to mental work as well as physical, Thomas would be underweight by now.

Remus shook his head. "Honestly, you can't think too much about it. Just think of all the times we battered each other in this place, and you'll feel better about the closet thing."

Deceit snorted. "How is it that I'm more affected by it than you? Like all the times you ripped out my hair."

"Or all the times you silenced us whenever you felt like it."

"Or all those times you slammed me in to a hard surface."

"Remember that one time you left me in the closet for a week?"

"I still remember how I silenced Virgil for a month."

Remus snapped his fingers. "Yeah, Virgil, I remember how many times he gave us hallucinations. Sometimes he'd give us panic attacks for the hell of it!" He laughed.

"He was always quite the hothead."

"That's not even counting his stabs. Not just with a knife."

"Knowing you, that could mean anything."

Remus swooshed his hands in a rainbow-shaped gesture gleefully."Oooooh, whatever you want it to mean!" The joke was lacking and childish, but Remus' delivery was so goofy.

Deceit chuckled, back of his hand pressed daintily to his mouth as always. Remus giggled in short bursts of high-pitched derangement along with him.

Then it dissolved into awkward silence as they pondered their situation, up at ass o' clock in the morning, sprawled over the couch in undignified manners, dim light flickering because they were too depressed to fix it, talking about unreasonable hostile behavior so casually like they were fond memories of family vacations.

"... let's go make breakfast."

"Okay, Caution Ramen."

"I'm sorry?"

"Hazard Spaghetti. Murder Spagurder."

"...what."

"Judgemental Shoelace."

"Oh, shut the fuck up."

------------------

"No! Get away!" The sobbing figure cowered away from the green and yellow-tinted Sides, if you could call them that.

Bad Thoughts put his hands out. "Woah, woah, hey, we won't hurt you! Much."

Deceit slapped Bad Thoughts as the Side, who was slowly fading into a full black and purple from the legs up, put his hands in his hair and screamed louder. "Shut up! Go away! I'm sorry! Please! I hate you! Go away!"

"Well that's a lot of mixed signals." Bad Thoughts muttered. Careful looked a lot different from what he had remembered. He was seeming more tired and grievous. A faint spark of recognition flashed across Careful's eyes when he peeked up at him, but ducked away when Bad Thoughts stretched the arm with his morning star.

Without a word, Deceit knelt down and wrapped his arms around Careful. He flinched, but he stopped sobbing at least. He was still breathing hard when BT decided to join in, planting himself as softly as he knew how to on Caution.

"You're okay," Deceit murmured. "You're alright. You won't hurt anyone. You won't do that."

Caution hiccupped, staring at the ceiling, eyes brimming with angry tears. He hissed though gritted teeth."How--how do you know? You don't understand, I cause so many problems--"

"Yeah, we do. We know that. But that's you." Remus said. "Who cares if you do? Causing problems is what we do around here. You can't blame yourself for doing what you do best."

Caution was still dubious. He was sniffling. Slowly, he put his arms on Deceit's back. "I don't want to make more trouble."

Deceit lowered his head onto his shoulder. "Just come with us. We cause trouble, but whether you want to do that is up to you."

The black was receding, but the purple still lingered a little. All four of Caution's eyes blinked.

Remus pulled away, leaving only his hand on Careful's shoulder. His old friend, who didn't know who he was, who was meeting him for the first time. "Besides, I don't think you meant to cause that breakdown."

Caution finally turned and looked, actually looked at him for the first time since they were children. "You don't?"

"Nope!"

The purple color was down to his knees again. The black was gone.

"But," Caution started, both Sides pulling back to give him space. "But, it was so unnecessary, and--and the whole damn class was watching, and the other sides were freaked out-"

"Yeah, so? It was cool! Don't you think it's some way of letting everyone know that Thomas was upset? Things were getting hairy and you pulled it off perfectly." Remus gave an exaggerated chef's kiss in the air.

"That power is something only you hold, storm cloud." Deceit said. "Like Remus said, it's who you are. It was quite the display."

Caution eyed them suspiciously. "Yeah, well, you guys would think so."

"Don't you see? If you come with us, you can learn to control that! You can choose your own rules, you can choose when you want to have influence over Thomas!" Deceit lowered his voice. "You can protect Thomas by forcing the others to hear how much you try."

Caution didn't make eye contact, finding it difficult when two people stared at once. But he was thinking about it, clearly. The others had been trying to ignore him lately, and no one had to be a genius to figure that out. The rise and fall of his chest grew a little quicker as he realized how unfair it was that he was just trying to be a Side, and Thomas didn't care. The spite and betrayal was evident in his eyes, the same that had plagued Bad Thoughts and Deceit so many times in their childhood.

It was decided.

He looked up with grim determination. "C-call me Fear."

Previous parts here and here

Claustrophobic Remus post here

2K notes · View notes

angelanimedesaray · 4 years ago

Text

Wings in the Dark Chapter 4: Limelight

AN: Ah...next chapter. I keep finding myself thinking about/writing Wings in the Dark even though I’ve got so many other stories to keep up with, some of which are only one piece away from being done or oneshots XD

Also I apologize I keep forgetting to put Fem!Vampire!Reader, I keep getting lazy there...tagging error.

Characters: Levi, Fem!Vampire!Reader, Erwin, Oluo, Petra, Gunther, Eld, Various BG Characters

Pairing: (Eventual) Levi x Fem!Vampire!Reader

Warnings: Language, Blood, Peril, Mentions of Death

Word Count: 6101

<----Previous Chapter Masterlist Next Chapter---->

*Reader’s POV*

Beneath you, Zephyr shifted from foot to foot, the crowding of Scouts in the street just before the gate looking disorganized, but each squad in specific places meant to make the transition once outside the walls much easier. You knew where you were in the formation, right with the vanguard--not quite at the front though, since you were still a rookie. Instead, you were in a message position.

Just a few horses in front of you, you could see Captain Levi and his squad, their gazes fixed forward like most of the Scouts. Your hand fluttered briefly to your neck as you gazed up at the giant wall that was casting its shade upon most of the gathered Scouts, your heartbeat quickening as the reality of what was happening settled over you.

Decades without open air and sunlight before you managed to find the key that would allow you to walk on the surface in the sun once more. Never before venturing outside the walls. Now here you were, about to ride out beyond its boundaries into open, fresh air and sunlight where there was no edge where a wall or some other boundary of mankind kept you in.

As if sensing your restlessness, Zephyr pawed at the ground, antsy and ready to move forward. The horse standing behind you at the end of a lead had been jumpy since being handed off to you, but its nerves were only getting worse between the aura you and Zephyr were radiating. Your grip tightened on the reins, gaze fixated on that gate that you were begging to just raise already and let you shoot out into the world.

This was what you were here for. You’d finally made it. Now was the time to throw yourself all in for the cause. Messenger or not, you were going to do everything you could to help.

The brick gate up ahead finally finished rumbling, and a pure white horse holding Commander Erwin Smith reared up.

“Forward!”

Your heart leapt into your throat, and it took everything inside you to wait until the people in front of you started to move forward before your heels pressed lightly into Zephyr’s hindquarters, urging the speckled grey mare forward. Your breaths came rapidly as the brick gate approached, head tilting up on instinct as you went through the tunnel, momentarily plunged into darkness with light piercing through the end before Zephyr burst through, one set of many thundering hooves as you broke past the wall.

Green grass rolled out before you with towering trees dotting along the horizon, stretching as far as you could see, further. The wind whipped at your hair, sun beating down on you harmlessly as you soaked in the unbridled rays, lips parted as you took a deep breath of truly free air.

This was a feeling you would never forget. It was as if the wings upon your cape would emerge and spread wide, carrying you up into the blue sky far above and off to a land where there were no stifling walls real, social, or in your mind, no secrets and constant hiding of who you were.

Feeling eyes on you at your reaction to crossing beyond the walls for the first time, you closed your eyes briefly, the self-imposed darkness grounding you back to reality as you reminded yourself what the goal was here, what you were supposed to be doing. You had a purpose out here, and the others couldn’t afford your distraction.

Your head lowered from its tilted back position, and your eyes opened with focus burning in your gaze, fixed forward as you leaned slightly over Zephyr’s neck. Within a few minutes of running straight forward, the formation began to take shape, Scouts spreading out to the left and right while most of the cargo stayed in the middle. You were one of the ones who went out to the right, falling into place at a relay point with your skittish extra horse trailing just behind Zephyr. Off to your left, you could see Levi Squad, within eyesight but still quite a distance away and placed closer to command than you.

While everyone here had to depend upon smoke signals and their own limited sight to tell them if a Titan was approaching, you were at a unique advantage when it came to the task of spotting Titans. You could hear them long before you could see them, but your sight was much better than the other’s here, as well. You would be able to tell if there was a Titan approaching long before anyone else, which could drastically help the mortality rates of the Scouts if you could use your abilities.

Of course, the matter was complicated by the fact that you would have to wait until there was visual confirmation of a Titan if you didn’t want to look like you were firing flares into the sky for the hell of it, which you were certain would piss many people off very quickly. So, you were restrained to detecting where the Titans were, and keeping track of them until they got close enough.

If it was a big enough threat, though, you would take the risk. You would still have to wait if you wanted people to believe you, but you weren’t going to wait as long if it was something like a horde of Titans or a clustering of abnormals.

That part you had decided ahead of time. The rest you would play by ear and see what happened, or simply play the role you had been assigned for this expedition.

*Levi’s POV*

While Levi and his squad had their duties that went with their position in the long range formation, Levi had his secondary objective to observe L/N from a distance, keeping an eye on her at least partially at all times while his squad handled much of the spotting and message relaying, Levi only giving curt orders when necessary. They certainly wondered what was causing his distraction, but no one questioned it, especially from the serious look on his face.

He’d been watching L/N from the moment they rushed out of the gate beyond the walls, her reaction reminding him strongly of himself, Isabel, and Furlan when they’d first gone beyond the walls.

Before he could have someone snap her out of it so she was paying attention, she’d brought herself back around, snapping back to full focus on the task at hand impressively fast despite how swept away she’d been moments before.

With the more central position Levi’s squad held, they were better positioned to be sent whichever direction they might be needed if shit hit the fan, and the more protected position than the vanguard and the relay lines allowed Levi to put more of his focus on L/N without causing unnecessary risk. No doubt that was part of the reason Erwin had arranged them the way they were for this expedition.

At first, there wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. She kept her head on a swivel, fired the signal flares at the appropriate time to pass along the message to shift the direction of the formation. However, Levi eventually began to catch the anomaly he might have overlooked if she’d been a little further away, or he’d been a little more distracted by what was going on in his position.

Her head stopped swiveling, her gaze fixing in certain directions for long stretches of time before she would fire off her flares. At the most, her head might twitch in one direction or another, but nothing more. The big give away, however, was the fact that he occasionally caught sight of her loading a flare into her flare gun long before the signals went off. As if she knew it was coming.

Either she had insane intuition, or she was able to see something they couldn’t.

It was a good thing he'd noticed her focus and how she seemed to be picking up on approaching Titans before the vanguard, because it greatly effected how he reacted when she fired a shot before even the vanguard. She went perfectly still, head turned forward right towards an outcropping of trees in the distance. She stayed gazing in that direction for several long moments before she suddenly reached into her pack, loaded her flare gun, and fired a black smoke signal into the air.

Everyone reacted with surprise from the display, Levi included, considering no Titan could be seen, and she was not relaying a signal from the vanguard. Immediately, the others began to grumble and complain at rookie audacity, what she thought she was doing, the usual complaints. Levi, however, was staring hard at her back, noting how she was still staring in the same direction, thinking of how she'd been aware of every flare coming so far…

"Gunther, relay that signal."

The complaints about L/N stopped, the others looking at Levi in surprise. "Sir…" Petra ventured to say in a cautious tone, clearly not wanting to question him but doubtful of the black flare's accuracy. Still, Levi could hear Gunther preparing to fire the shot behind him, even as Petra continued. "That signal is coming from nowhere, the rest of the vanguard haven't even fired anything."

"Because she's spotted something they haven't," Levi said bluntly, as behind him Gunther relayed the signal, which went down the rest of the line to Command. Erwin’s green shot fired into the air shortly after what must have been a confusingly sudden short burst of signals.

Levi kept his gaze on L/N the entire time, except the direction change, looking for the payoff or justification for her sudden signal. At first, he didn't think he would see it.

In the distance, within that outcropping of trees that had held her attention before and was now further away from them thanks to the direction shift she’d prompted, Levi saw something clear the treetops. It was hard to catch at this distance, but the scattering of birds from those trees helped confirm what he was seeing. Within a few moments, two fleshy figures of Titans burst through the treeline, one running sporadically forward and the other leaping around, both headed in the direction of the formation.

There was more distance between the formation and the abnormals, thanks to their shift, which gave them more time to respond, but they were still going to collide with the ranks. He could see L/N coiling atop her horse, ready to leap into action if they broke past the vanguard and reached her position, eyes no doubt fixed on the incoming threats.

“Captain, should we go assist?” Petra asked from behind him.

“If they break through the vanguard ranks, yes,” Levi said, gaze sweeping over the other positions in the formation that held less skilled rookies. He didn’t want to risk abnormal Titans colliding with the newbies, so he’d make sure they were stopped there, if the vanguard couldn’t handle them. Instinctively, Levi tensed as the abnormals reached the front lines...and then burst right past towards L/N’s position.

Abnormal, indeed.

Oluo swore as they saw both abnormals barreling towards L/N, who was already kneeling on the saddle of her horse and waited a few seconds for the abnormals to draw a little closer. Levi and his squad were already heading towards them before L/N leapt off her horse, one of her cables firing into the rushing Titan since it was at least keeping stably on the ground, swinging around and away from the front of the attacking Titans, firing the other higher up to try and get a quick shot in at the Titan’s nape.

The second Titan shot over the first in a leap towards L/N, forcing L/N to change direction and release her cable from the first Titan. With a nimbleness that surprised Levi, she pushed off of the arm of the second Titan as it went by to add momentum in the direction she wanted to go, cables releasing again so she could swing between the legs of the first Titan and still avoid it’s reaching arms.

With her cables detached again, she rolled to a stop and got back onto her feet, taking a second to register her position before one of her cables sank into that first Titan's shoulder and she shot towards it again.

At that point Levi and the others were close enough to do something and had a good grasp on the situation. At Levi's orders, Eld, Oluo, and Gunther broke off to deal with the jumping one while Levi and Petra rushed to intercept the one L/N was handling. Levi had a pretty good idea of what she was trying to do, but expecting it to go terribly wrong, he was trying to reach her before she lost a limb. Or her head.

The Titan snapped at her as she came within biting distance, but she let loose a burst of gas at the last second to sail over its shoulder, twisting in midair as the men handling the other Titan let out an alarmed shout.

Both cables sank into the shoulder blades of the first Titan and brought her in close with her feet landed just below its nape, and she sliced neatly through, killing it in one stroke. As she turned with the strike, the second Titan came into her view, ignoring Eld, Gunther, and Oluo entirely as it launched for her, still anchored onto the falling Titan.

The cables disengaged so she could fall back and drop out of range of its maw, feet barely missing the teeth as she dropped vertically and headfirst towards the ground.

Eld went in for a quick kill while it was fixated on L/N.

"No!"

"Wait!"

"Eld!"

At angles they could see where the Titan's attention was trained, L/N, Levi, and Perra, respectively, all shouted out for him not to go for the obvious kill. Its eyes had shifted in the direction the cable came from, towards Eld, and it swung out an arm that caught the wire. Eld was sent careening to the ground, the jumping Titan punching toward him with jaw agape again as the now-injured man got up to right himself, cables still sliding back into place and unable to deploy yet.

Two blurs in opposite directions cut through the air at the front and back of the Titan. Levi was at the back, slicing cleanly through the nape to kill it before it could kill Eld. At the front and coming from the opposite direction, was L/N, slicing through arms and bottom jaw in a wide arc to render it unable to eat Eld.

As they passed each other in the air, they momentarily locked eyes, and instead of fear or anger which commonly filled the eyes of the recruits, Levi saw...exhilaration.

Considering one of his men almost got killed, she better be taking this fucking seriously.

As they both landed on the ground at opposite ends of the Titan body, Levi turned to see her already sheathing her blades and approaching Eld to make sure he was okay and help him to his feet. Gunther and Oluo were close behind, pulling beside them as Eld was brought to his feet and Levi stalked towards them from behind.

"Are you both alright?" Gunther asked.

"That was a hell of a risky move you pulled there, rookie--your leg got cut open when you decided to jump right through its mouth!" Oluo chastised.

Levi’s gaze dropped to her leg, the large tear diagonally across her leg now clear, with bloodstains along the frayed edges of the fabric. But the skin of her calf was unblemished save for a slightly angry red mark running parallel to the rip.

"Hm?" She asked in confusion, turning back to glance down at the offended leg before she twisted so the others could see. "It was risky, and close, but it didn't draw blood. Just a graze," she remarked, eyes lifting to see Levi approaching.

He was caught between angry and indifferent, with a bit of reluctantly impressed. He couldn't exactly chastise her for endangering the others with that out in the open now, could he? She'd been handling them alone off circumstance before they intervened, and when one of his men was in danger of dying, she'd apparently risked a leg to intervene.

It was still reckless, even if in the moment she'd deemed it necessary. She was a rookie out here, she didn't know the full extent of her capabilities against the Titans yet.

Levi’s gaze slid momentarily to the two rapidly dissipating Titan bodies.

Or perhaps she did…

"Petra, help Eld. Everyone, get a move on, before we're left behind," he said instead, turning back to his horse as L/N let out a sharp whistle to call her horse. The dappled grey appeared with the spare horse in tow and still tied to the saddlehorn via the lead so it wouldn't run off.

Once he was certain everyone was mobile and Eld was being taken care of, Levi led the way for his group to rejoin the formation, L/N racing off to retake her position.

Levi’s gaze wandered back towards the pillars of steam that billowed into the air from the dead Titans.

Why had they both been so set on /her/ that they blew past everyone else?

*Reader’s POV*

"All right, we need people for the night watch, so if--"

"I'll do it," you said before he could even finish, standing up from your spot around the fire as you spoke.

All he had to say was night watch. It was another one of the things you felt that you were the most suited for, considering you were a creature of the night. You would do far better in darkness than anyone else around you.

After volunteering to be one of the people on night watch, you were sent up into the nearby trees to give you a better vantage point, able to gracefully find your way up onto a tree branch without issue. Once where you were supposed to be, you took a seat, resting your head against the trunk as your gaze wandered across your surroundings, allowing your hearing to focus so it was listening for things in the distance or abnormal sounds within the vicinity of the camp. As such, the cacophony of people speaking to one another before heading to bed faded away into a faint buzz in the back of your mind, allowing you to focus on your watch.

This also gave you a moment to reflect on your first day out in the field, and the unexpected consequence of your presence that you had discovered. So intent on contributing to the Scouts and using your abilities to assist them, you'd forgotten some basic predatory instincts.

Out here, the Titans were at the top of the food chain. Within the walls, it was vampires. The Titans were mainly active in the day but quiet at night, and vampires normally thrived in the dark and could not go out in the sun--you were an exception, thanks to something you had taken from a vampire far older and more experienced than you. There was a clear division between the two preventing them from coming into contact with each other, mostly the night and day difference and the literal wall dividing their environments. But you had just entered their habitat, and you were well aware that a vampire could still be killed by a Titan if they got careless, or if the Titan got one lucky bite in. As such, you didn't consider vampires at the top of the food chain when placed in the same space as Titans, but adjacent to them.

The Titans had focused on you, likely because you were an invasive, competitive predator in their lands. You were a threat to them and their food supply, and they could not safely feed if there was a vampire in the area.

As such, if the opportunity presented itself, they were going to target you first.

Lovely.

This was new, dangerous information, and you were still deciding how to react to it. Maybe not every Titan would completely ignore a meal in front of them if there was a vampire nearby, but today two abnormals had barged right through the vanguard to get to you. It wasn't something you could ignore.

For a while, your watch went undisturbed, allowing you to quietly stew in your thoughts high up in the trees, before a sound broke through your filtered hearing, and your attention snapped into full focus.

Down below, hidden by the tall grass, darkness, and trees, you could make out the spread out shapes of a wolf pack stalking closer to camp, towards where some of the horses were hitched for the night.

Bold wolves. Or perhaps they were desperate, or had yet to learn to be afraid of mankind. Either way, you couldn't let the wolves get to the horses, the lifeline out here for the Scouts.

Quietly, since the way you wanted to handle this couldn't be seen by the other Scouts, you dropped down from the trees, crouching low to the ground and blending into darkness as you moved to intercept the wolves while they were still shrouded in darkness and the environment. When you put yourself firmly in their path, the tension in the air shifted.

For the wolves, while they were in a pack, you were a more dangerous predator, one that they would normally avoid. As such, the pack's attention shifted, and you let out a low snarl, red eyes flashing in the night and fangs barred as the wolves cautiously stalked closer to you. They loosely encircled you, and you quickly tried to assess each one, looking for the alpha, the one who acted first that the rest followed. The wolves got dangerously close before you managed to pick it out, and you spun around to face the alpha head on, making yourself look big and keeping that snarl.

It hesitated, stared at you for a few moments, and then the grey wolf leapt forward to attack. Anticipating the motion, you plucked it out of the air, arms wrapping around its furry upper body and slamming it into the ground, causing it to yelp and yip as you held it down, pinned, its throat exposed.

You held it there for several moments, making sure the rest of the pack could see the alpha had been bested before you let the wolf up, the large creature immediately taking the opportunity to run and letting out a high-pitched howl for the rest of the pack to follow as it raced away.

Composing yourself once again, you turned back to the camp, heading in the direction of the horses to make sure they were alright, several Scouts intercepting you just before you reached camp.

"We heard wolves."

"What were you doing out there?"

"I chased them off. They were thinking about going after the horses," you assured them calmly. "All it took was a well aimed rock and the sounds of quite a few humans from behind to chase them off," you said, explaining the yips and their sudden absence with ease.

"Right. Back to your posts, or back to bed, whichever it is for you. Go on," one of the senior officers commanded to get everyone to disperse again. You didn't say anything more, feeling no need to as you instead used the ODM gear to return to your perch in the trees.

*Levi's POV*

While Levi was checking his gear to make sure it was still in peak shape for the rest of the expedition, his squad had their fireside discussion about the day's events, the topics free ranging since Levi seemed to not be paying any attention to them and was a fair distance away.

Mainly, they were talking about the display with the two abnormals.

"Did you see how they charged right through the line towards that rookie?"

"They were abnormals. You have to stop questioning abnormals so much or you'll drive yourself mad."

"I'm more interested in that rookie. Did you see how she handled those Titans?"

"No shitting herself or anything--perfectly calm, like she wasn't even bothered."

"It was almost like she was dancing around it for a few moments there--you could even call it graceful."

"And did you see how in sync she was with Captain Levi when they took it down? Even if it was brief?"

"It was still a risky move--she went right through its mouth!"

"That either takes a hefty set of balls, annoying levels of confidence, or sheer insanity."

"I still swear I saw her leg get cut open on those teeth."

"Clearly not. She showed us her leg, it came close and she was damn lucky or pulled it off that well. It was just the rip, the red mark, and some Titan blood."

"Still...she has to be that rookie all those rumors are about, right?"

"The ones about Captain Levi possibly letting a rookie join the squad? Those are bullshit and you know it."

"I'm not so sure anymore, after seeing her in action. It's not impossible. They might wait until she's a little less green, but…"

"Captain Levi did seem a little distracted today. And our position was right where he could see her at all times."

"So it is possible...it would be weird...and I still think they should wait until she's not so green...but I wouldn't complain."

"It'd be nice to have another girl on the squad…"

Levi stood up at that point, the group's conversation halting as Levi moved, then resuming when they realized he was walking away from the fire, not towards it.

Don't get attached, you idiots. If she's as dangerous as I think she is, she won't be around for long.

Moving further away from where his squad was chatting amongst themselves, Levi headed towards the trees where Erwin was taking at least one night shift, using his ODM gear to bring himself up to the tree branch beside the towering blond.

"I heard those abnormals caused a bit of a stir," Erwin said as Levi settled onto the branch beside him, hardly able to see one another with only faint firelight a ways behind them and moonlight mostly blocked from the trees around them.

"They barreled straight out of a treeline and through the vanguard. Didn't give them a second thought and went right for L/N."

Erwin looked at Levi with the way he phrased that last line, like there was more to it. "They were abnormals."

"Yeah...but even abnormals don't usually fixate on just one person. Not to mention two abnormals at once."

Erwin turned slightly towards Levi. "They didn't pay attention to anyone other than L/N?"

Levi shook his head. "Not until Eld went in for a killshot on the last one. They seemed...drawn to her."

"Interesting…" Erwin murmured, both of their attention drawn by the sound of wolves yipping and then howling, the sound getting further away. There was a slight commotion at the edge of the camp, with L/N appearing from the darkness in the direction the howling had been and saying a few words before everyone settled back down. She must have chased them off, then.

"There's more," Levi added, eyes following her figure as she disappeared up into the trees with ODM, apparently one of the few taking a night shift. "This entire time, she's been picking up on Titans before anyone else sees them, even the vanguard. She knew those abnormals were coming long before we had visual confirmation."

"That would explain the odd, lone black flare before the others started being fired," Erwin murmured, his gaze fixated in the same direction as Levi. "Keep watching her. We won't be out here too much longer, since we'll reach our destination tomorrow. You can give me the rest of your observations in an official report when we get back."

"Right…" Levi muttered, turning away and heading back to the ground to admonish his squad about still being up and get them to get some rest before they talked the whole night away with their conspiracy theories.

*Reader’s POV*

When you returned from the expedition, you were surprisingly exhausted. The Scouts had returned a few hours ago, and as soon as you were free of your duties, you headed up to the barracks so you could crawl into your bed and pass out.

While the first day had gone relatively well besides the obvious for all the horror stories about the Scouts and their expeditions, the second day had not gone so smoothly. Even worse, when the Titans collided with the left vanguard, you couldn't do anything about it but watch Levi Squad break away as they were dispatched to go help. You were, after all, just a messenger for the right side of the formation for this expedition.

Because of the attack on the left, the Scouts had accumulated a body count and ended up with quite a few injured. It wasn't bad enough to cause the mission to fail, thankfully, as the Scouts still managed to reach the destination and set up supplies for future expeditions, but after a couple more incidents on the way back, a few more injured and dead were accumulated, and the Scouts were looking rough upon the return to the walls.

On the bright side, if it could be considered a bright side, you were already sitting on two solo Titan kills at the end of the expedition despite being a messenger, you made it through your first expedition, and you knew more about how you would fare against Titans and your usefulness to the cause.

Right now, that was all food for thought at a later point, as you quickly fell asleep once your head hit the pillow and you were finally given the chance to relax.

Unfortunately, it didn't feel like it lasted for very long. You were woken up by one of your fellow new recruits attempting to get you out of bed, though a quick glance towards the windows told you it was now night--you’d been able to sleep the whole day away. Yet you still felt groggy and tired.

"Hey, L/N. L/N! Get up, already. Captain Levi wants to see you. So get to it--last I saw him he was in the library."

*Levi's POV*

"Extraordinary reflexes, stronger than she looks, quick on her feet, calm under pressure, skilled and resourceful with the ODM gear, capable, patient, able to pick up on approaching Titans long before anyone else…" Erwin's fingers tapped lightly on top of Levi's official report of his observations about L/N, the papers sitting in front of him on his desk. "All this time and all I can see so far are more reasons to make sure she's advantageously placed in the Scouts and used to her full potential."

Levi turned to give Erwin a disbelieving look before it fell into a scowl that was becoming quite common at these meetings between the two to discuss Y/N L/N.

"You can't tell me you're not curious about the how, that nothing about her raises questions?" Levi scoffed. Erwin leaned forwards, fingers laced together in front of his face.

"Oh, it does. It seems trying to find out more about L/N only raises more questions instead of providing answers, and I'm determined to start finding answers. But I'm not talking about wanting to know how. This started because you said you had a bad feeling about her, that her motives might be malicious. So far, all you've given me is more material to believe her intentions are at least aligned with our own if not good, and more reasons to make sure she stays part of the Scouts, not anything to prove she's of ill intent."

Levi looked away, teeth grit. He'd almost fallen into the same trap. Until…

"The night before the expedition, we ran into each other in the mess hall. She'd just come back from the Underground, which I know because she still had that smell on her...as well as the smell of blood." Levi turned to look at Erwin, gaze sharp. "I doubt she was down there healing sick kids considering, as far as we know, the extent of her medical knowledge is the first aid she learned as part of her training."

Erwin frowned, his eyes probing as he studied Levi’s expression. "That would have been nice to know, sooner."

"It hadn't come up, yet. And it's not exactly something I can put in an official report."

"It's still not enough to go on, Levi."

"You don't think I know that? It's driving me mad catching these little pieces that suggest something's off about her, and then failing to get anything else. It doesn't help that she knows I'm watching her."

Erwin sighed, leaning back in his seat with a thoughtful look, gazing down at the report on the desk.

"Go ahead and recruit her for your squad."

Surely he heard him wrong.

"I'm sorry?" Levi asked in surprise.

"Not as a fill member, not yet, anyway. She's still too green to justify moving her to the special ops team even with how well she did on her first expedition. Have her start as an aid for you and your squad, that way she's still in a learning and assisting position until she's more seasoned."

"And your reasoning for this is…? What if she wants this? Not knowing her motivations--"

"Gives us all the more reason to make this move. As part of your squad, even as an aid, she'll be directly under your command. You'll be able to keep a much closer eye on her, find out more about her--I'm sure your squad members will be able to find out things about her naturally on their own time. Keeping her close is the best play right now."

Levi sighed in frustration. Sure, he'd considered picking her for his squad already, but his suspicions had killed that desire, at least for now. Plus, usually he got to choose if and when he added someone to his squad. He wasn't too keen on being ordered to add her, even if Erwin had a good reason for doing it.

However, it wasn't like he was going to tell Erwin no. He'd just have to deal with it.

Shaking his head and biting back the complaints he knew didn't mean a damn, Levi changed the subject. Even though he didn't confirm that he would do as Erwin asked, they both knew he would.

"What about you? Did your contacts manage to find anything?"

A frown returned to Erwin’s face. "Like I said, more questions with very few answers." He took a moment to open one of his desk drawers, pulling out a report and laying it next to Levi’s expedition report. "I couldn't find a trace of her anywhere inside Wall Rose besides the last few years after she suddenly surfaced. Even in the town she has listed as where she was born, the closest I came was a girl who shared a first name with her that died tragically over forty years ago. Maybe it's where she got the name, considering it was a big deal in the town's history, but beyond that, nothing. Before she appeared on the surface a few years back, she didn’t exist."

Erwkn held out the report for Levi to take. "Her absence does, however, lend itself to your Underground theory. Especially if you say she was in the Underground the night before the expedition. I suggest you pursue that lead--you know the Underground better than anyone else here."

Levi hated the thought of going back down there, even if it was to find some answers. However, he finally felt like he had something solid to pursue, and he wasn't going to let it slip through his fingers. He was cornering her, and he was going to pull back the façade and find out what was really happening with her no matter how hard she tried to keep it concealed.

She couldn't hide whatever it was forever. Especially with Erwin and Levi bearing down on her as hard as they were.

Enough questions. It was time they started getting answers.

Next Chapter--->

Levi Tags: @clary-quinn @humanitys-hottestsoldier @whalerus @sunny-flo @thirstyforsometea

Wings in the Dark Tags: @regalillegal @animeluver23 @theshylittleelfgirl @queenthorin1 @dilucs-thighs @sociallyanxiousmouse

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erricdraven · 3 years ago

Text

sinnerman (where you going to run to)

aka Spike's Mediocre Mixtape

a canon divergent, spike-centric fic loosely centered around season 4 that's more or less an excuse to give some beloved characters a healthier, happier eventual outcome

“‘Nother over ‘ere.” Spike loudly set his empty glass on the counter top and wiped at his bloody nose with the back of his hand.

One thing you could always depend on demons for was a fight, and damned if it didn’t feel good to use that to his advantage on nights like this when he was pissed and tired and aching for a reason to be the piece of shit everyone thought he was.

With the lowball refilled with three fingers of bourbon, Spike took a long drink. The music playing through the shoddy bar speakers had changed and as soon as he recognized it, he rolled his eyes. He absolutely hated being ironic. “Never a frown with golden brown,” he sardonically recited under his breath in time, swallowing down the aptly colored alcohol.

Never a frown indeed, he thought to himself with a derisive snort.

Why the fuck did he ever come back to this sodding town and the bleeding Hellmouth? It was a black hole that he could never truly escape, and he’d stranded himself there first. Fuck Angelus and his pathetic vendetta over a problem he’d brought upon himself. Fuck the Slayer for being the object of Angelus’ fixation and therefore his problem by extension. Fuck Dru running back to Daddy and leaving him to rot with his feelings not once but twice. And fuck himself for having believed that loving her would have ever been enough to make it together until the end and going out in search of a solution that brought him anywhere near California at all.

Angrily he pressed a blunt fingernail against his scalp where the chip was tucked away just deep enough that he was helpless to do a thing about it. That was the main reason he was grounded here, now. Why he was so angry. Right now, it wasn’t even like he particularly felt like dealing with the whole scene of killing and drinking a human anyway, but it was the principle of the goddamn thing—what was he supposed to be if he couldn’t be himself?

Oh, that was dangerous territory.

Did the chip make him more like timid, weak, impotent little William Pratt? William the Bloody was a million miles away, of course. Maybe Spike was just the worst iteration he’d come up with yet. The dried blood on the sleeve of his jacket and smeared across the inside of his wrist felt like a mockery. Of the few things he could still hurt, he was at the top of the list.

Spike flung a few crinkled bills down with a sigh and shoved off the barstool. Using his back to push the door open, he lit a cigarette only to hold it uselessly between his lips. The cold evening breeze helped with the heat of copious amounts of alcohol imbibed, so he took his time returning to his new torture chamber.

For as much as Giles seemed to despise him, Spike hated him just the same. It was hard to be sodding grateful for being kept prisoner, chained up in a bathtub. He would almost rather leave and starve to death. However, the ache he was feeling at simply drinking bagged blood where he could manage to get it was bad enough to push him to the side of angry that fueled action. He had dislocated his wrist to escape the sharp handcuffs just to be alone for a bloody hour, after all. But here he was, pathetic as an abandoned puppy tossed out on its ass, returning to the goddamn bathtub.

Silently making his way back into the offending thing with its insipid handcuff-chains contraption was not difficult, even while being a certain degree of drunk.

As he passed through the living room, he spotted Giles asleep with his face mashed into the open pages of a massive old tome and his glasses crooked on his face. Next to his left hand was a half-drunk bottle of whiskey which Spike helped himself to, taking a long swig straight from it. “Poor old sod,” he whispered imperceptibly before setting it back down and slouching off to his new living quarters of cold porcelain and tile.

➤ continue on ao3

#btvs #buffy the vampire slayer #spike #spuffy #buffy summers #rupert giles #xander harris #willow rosenberg #mywriting #otp: he is in my heart

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lunarmessenger · 4 years ago

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hi!! i wonder if i could request a one shot angst with saeyoung. so mc have a huge anxiety and she always closed up everything even after she's with saeyoung. one day when saeyoung snapped at her out of stress, she end up missing for like around two weeks without any traces even saeran cant help saeyoung to find her

after searching for the whole times they end up finding out that mc got in accident and still in the hospital because her injuries was so bad and actually someone from rfa (u can choose who) try to hide this from saeyoung because mc told them everything

i know its quite hard im sorry 😭

ohohohoho anon you give me too much power for requesting an angsty prompt. i hope you enjoy, thank you so much for this request! I will have to split it into quite a few parts because otherwise...it’ll be much too long haha ^^;; - luna xx

p.s. sorry requests are taking so long!! the holidays have been insane, but i promise after christmas and new years i’ll go back to posting regularly!

warnings: graphic depictions of major injuries, mentions of hospitals, and mentions of mental illness.

word count: 1.9k

(pt. 2) (pt. 3) (pt. 4)

Hard Regrets (Pt. 1) - 707 x MC

Her nimble fingers switched on the heater as a cold chill ran through the house, hands reaching up to the small blanket she’d thrown over her shoulders. The soft patters of rain thumped against the roof of the apartment, the only sound competing with the rain being the soft clicks coming from Saeyoung’s computer and the flicker of paper as Saeran read through one of his many books.

She smiled fondly as Saeran’s eyes danced across each page, filling his mind with the story as he burrowed deeper into the couch. That smile faded as her eyes slowly switched to his brother, her boyfriend, the man hunched roughly over his desk as he typed furiously. Empty cans of soda and crinkled bags of honey buddha chips littered both his desk and his floor, causing her to sigh as she walked over to help clean up.

This project had ended up being one of his longer ones, tomorrow making it about two months since he was assigned the task by Jumin. She was used to seeing Jumin overwork Jaehee, but now that it was affecting Saeyoung the way it was...it made her anxious. Of course his exhaustion worried her, but he became much more irritable when he became fixated on an important project.

Within the past month he’d grown incredibly distant so that he wouldn’t have any sort of distractions, and that meant that she didn’t get to spend time with him as often as she wanted to. The last time she’d reached out to him he had glared at her, telling her that while yes, he loves you, he needed to finish this project.

“No distractions, MC.” She whispered softly under her breath, a reminder he himself had given her the last time she interrupted. All she’d wanted from him was a hug. She slowly approached, bare feet softly tapping against the wooden floors as she made her way over. She was a couple of feet away from him, stopping as she hesitated. Maybe coming up with some sort of excuse would help guide him away from his computer? It wouldn’t be seen as a distraction since it wasn’t selfish; more like a welfare check?

“Are you boys up for some tea?” Saeyoung didn’t move an inch, mumbling a rough no as he continued to type and click across the screen. She visibly deflated, the bags under her eyes from lack of sleep growing heavier from his rejection. He hadn’t even been sleeping in their bed lately; he would sleep right there, on that god damned desk of his. She was snapped out of her rejection at the sound of the couch cushions moving; Saeran gave a small smile as he book marked his page, placing the book on the coffee table as he stood.

“I would love some, MC. In fact, I’ll help you make it. Come on...” The soft tone of his voice was a nice contrast in comparison to the rough rudeness of Saeyoung, the weight on her chest slightly lifting as she walked with him into the kitchen. Saeran grabbed the tea leaves while MC weakly grabbed three glass mugs; despite Saeyoung saying he didn’t want any. She readied the kettle, pressing the on button and watching as the blue light illuminated the dim kitchen and the water slowly started to come to a boil.

“MC...I’m sorry that Saeyoung is...the way he is.” The sudden apology from Saeran made her eyes widen as she turned to look at him, parts of her long hair falling into her face as she cleared her throat.

“What? Oh, no I mean...I guess...” She tried to think of an excuse for him, tried to come up with reasons on why it didn’t bother her that he got so invested that he not only forgot about her and Saeran, but forgot to take care of himself. Her eyes grew hot with tears for a split second as she shook her head.

“I just, I don’t know what to do. I can’t be honest with him about anything, because the last time I tried he...” She started to visibly shake, the only thing keeping her together being the sudden tap of the kettle signaling the water was ready. When she’d interrupted him before he almost flipped the chair because he was so angry; her distraction had caused him to mistype due to ruining his focus; according to him.

The only people who knew how he was making her feel was Saeran and Zen; the thought of the two men’s kindness towards her when Saeyoung was the way he was when he was writing made a soft smile grace her exhausted face once again. Though she hated to admit it, sometimes she wondered why she had not moved on to either Saeran or Zen. Both men would treat her the way she deserved, and she knew that, really she did.

But Saeyoung...she just loved him so much.

The way he was when they first met; how he had tried so hard to push her away and he just couldn’t. Because he didn’t want to. She didn’t want him to either, and she stayed because she knew that he loved her. Something in him changed, she can’t really remember when it happened; it just did. When he got a new project it was like MC didn’t exist; and he acted like he didn’t treat her that way when it was finished. No matter how much she hated it, no matter how much it made her cry; she just couldn’t leave.

All because she loved him.

“MC...? Should we take these to the couch? Maybe I can read you a couple of chapters?” She was snapped back to attention by Saeran, giving a slight nod as he took two mugs and she carried the last one. The sweet smell of honey and chamomile filled her nose as she slowly walked over to Saeyoung’s desk, his body still in the same position she had left him.

“Saeyoung...” Her voice was soft as she tried not to startle him, her anxiety slowly building with the tension as Saeran noticed what she was doing.

“Wait, MC; maybe we should just leave the tea over here?” She paused furrowing her brows as she tilted her head and slightly turned towards him.

“Then how is he supposed to know we at least made him a cup?”

“MC—” She turned back around to continue walking when her foot caught on one of the empty cans, causing her to lose her balance as she let out a gasp.

“MC!” She tried to redirect the cup as it flew out of her hands, the hot tea splattering all over Saeyoung’s desk and computer. Her heart sank in her stomach as Saeran was instantly at her side, Saeyoung leaping from the hot temperature and the sparks that flew around his desktop as he yelled.

“Are you...are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me?!” His voice boomed throughout the apartment as he turned towards her, golden eyes filled with rage as he loomed over her. He was so angry that he hadn’t realized her hand was red from being burned; she’d managed to get most of the tea spilt on her in an attempt to salvage his tea.

“Oh, MC...oh God you’re burned; we need to get you to a hospital.” Saeran helped her up but Saeyoung was quick to push them apart, getting in her face as he pointed at his desktop.

“Do you know how long it took me to figure that out, MC?! You’re so fucking lucky that I had a back up running at the same time because I swear to God...” His voice was low, teeth clenched and nose scrunched as he angrily glared at her. Saeran grabbed him by the hood, yanking him away from MC as she shook from his outburst. He has never physically grabbed her and yelled at her the way he just did.

She watched as the two brothers went head to head, noses almost touching as they screamed back and forth. It became too much for her as she got up, trying not to catch their attention as she slid on her shoes and slowly opened the door. The rain had started to come down harder, the wind howling as her loose bun instantly came undone and wildly blew her hair around her face.

She almost, almost second guessed her decision until the sound of glass breaking caught her attention, the mug of tea that was supposed to be hers now smashed in pieces by one of the walls. Saeyoung’s chest was heaving while Saeran got up from a squatted position; almost as if he’d dodged whatever Saeyoung threw.

Those pieces mirrored her heart; that mug was one that Saeyoung had bought her when they had first started going out. A picture of a cat had been printed on it, the cat making a winking face as the phrase I meow you! cradled the toon cat. It was one of her many prized possessions, and he had smashed it like it meant nothing to him.

That finalized her decision.

“What, Saeran? Stay out of this!”

“Are you so damn selfish that you haven’t realized that your girlfriend has burned half of her body to try and save your desktop? We need to get her to a hospital! Now!” He quickly turned to where she was squatting down by the wall, pausing when he realized that she wasn’t there anymore.

“MC...?” Saeran’s brows furrowed as he walked down the hall, leaving Saeyoung to cool off as he looked back towards his computer. The monitor screens were black as the tea slowly seeped into his keyboard and monitors. The more anger that left his body the more he’d realized what he’d done, his body slowly going into shock as he stared at the broken mug on the ground. The pink heart was in pieces, the larger part covered in brown tea as Saeran’s voice slowly became white noise in the background.

What had he done?

This entire time he’d been an absolute shit to his girlfriend; the one person who had supported him from day one. He slowly shuffled over to the broken pieces, socks growing wet from the spilled tea as he picked up the pieces.

“What have I done...?”

“Saeyoung! Saeyoung she’s gone!” He slowly blinked, not even bothering to adjust his glasses and messy red hair in tussles as he put down the glass and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“What?”

“She’s gone! Her phone is on the coffee table, and she didn’t take her bag! Saeyoung we have to find her; there’s a storm outside and she’s by herself!” Saeran was rushing to put on his coat and grab an umbrella, his boots clunking against the floors as he grabbed Saeyoung’s shoulders.

“Saeyoung, if you love her, you need to get off your ass now and help me find her. Now!” He slapped his dumbfounded brother, forcing him on to his feet and throwing a coat at him as he grabbed one of the many car keys hanging from the key shelf. Reality sank in as he threw on his sneakers, grabbing a beanie from the coat rack and tossing it on. He felt his stomach churn as his hand brushed against her coat and scarf, grabbing the scarf she always wore and wrapping it around his neck.

We have to find her, we have to find her.

I have to find her.

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mc-critical · 4 years ago

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One of my most favourite confrontations between Mahidevran and Hürrem in the series is the one after Mahidevran sent Olga to Süleiman in episode 61. It's both fun, yet filled with meaningful character dialogue, managing to successfully deliver a thematic message that eventually finds its retroactive way, despite of it all seeming like a yet another smackdown fest by Hürrem at first.

The scene begins with their typical confrontational energy, the rivalry chemistry immediately paves its way forward. Hürrem is ready to face her for what she did and Mahidevran, while not being interested at first, goes with her flow regardless, setting the mood for what follows.

Hürrem: You've sent a concubine to his majesty.

Mahidevran: I'm replacing Valide. Pleasing his majesty is one of my duties.

Hürrem: Let God not give you other worries. Do you want to cover the lack of your femininity this way?

Mahidevran seems very engrained in her role as the head of the harem and connects it with her own desire to take revenge for her wounded pride and for all the pain they caused her. The first excuse she finds for sending Olga to SS refered to the rules and tradition that give her that right, but we know by context that there's something else going on, this was both a move driven by her vendetta and a provoked move - she decided to do this after Hü told her she's the one ruling the privy chamber and perhaps Mahidevran accepted it as a challenge to her power, because, honestly, I doubt she would've attempted such a thing if she weren't provoked like this. Hürrem, on the other hand, gives her own "interpretation" as to why Mahidevran took action. To be blunt, it sits wrong with me right from the start, because it demonstrates a huge amount of internalized mysoginy on full display and it's sad, in a way, that this is what the system encourages at the moment - you're nothing if you sleep alone in your bed, if you don't have the sultan's back. There's a glimmer of possibility Hürrem said it only to render Mahidevran vulnerable and one could understand where she comes from, since she has experienced quite a lot of similar offenses from that same person. And when a confrontation of the like occurs, her first instinct is to think of a comeback, to pull rank and highlight why she's better than her like she does in all their encounters in this batch of episodes. That hardly excuses or whitewashes this statement, though, because for a person who has been shown to fight the system and call out prejudice (even though it was mostly only she was subjected to it or it was about something that concerned her specifically), seeing that she had absorbed some of it and applies it without a second thought leaves a sour taste for me.

Mahidevran: Worry about your own problems, Hürrem. Did you really think his majesty couldn't be with other women?

Hürrem: This is impossible.

Two major beliefs of Mahidevran and Hürrem's characters come on the surface: they drive the dialogue and help the rest of the scene unfold the way it did. Mahidevran brushes off Hürrem's last statement and brings back tradition to the forefront, which begins to highlight a belief of hers that she shared with Valide, that there is a constant cycle in the harem that no one, not even Hürrem, is capable to entirely break. To Hürrem it's impossible for SS to ever have other women at this point, it's something unthinkable for her already. She feels she has fully broken that cycle.

This scene, unlike the confrontation in episode 58, has well done retroactive irony while serving the context of the episode it's in in a plausible enough way that doesn't seem showed in just for the sake of it. The context of the episode puts Hürrem in the right by showing Olga returning from SS's chambers almost immediately after Hürrem says: "This is impossible." and it's the place where this plot-line transitions to another one, leaving the rest of the confrontation to hang in the balance for a while. Maybe SS had truly given up taking other women ever since the wedding, as shown by this and SS refusing another concubine sent by Valide in the wedding episode.

However, we know that this stops being the case later on and whether it's through the decision to bring in yet another drama tool, yet another annoying stretched narrative opposition in the face of the concubine arcs, it's a fact and we could say that this scene ends up being a good enough framework to set us up for it, intentionally or not.

Mahidevran: Then why is there a concubine in his chamber?

Hürrem: What concubine? Maybe that one?

This, to me, is a demonstration of how the tables can turn in the harem at literally any moment. Meryem Uzerli's little amazing, subtle facial expression says it all. When Mahidevran asks the question, we see for a very split second that Hürrem's wondering how to refute her until the concubine appears in the heat of the argument due to sheer luck. Like, if she had already returned to her rooms before the scene occurred, it would've gone much differently! This isn't all that important here, but I love how Meryem showed a slight probability for Hürrem to lose the argument, which contrasts with all her confident remarks before and after this moment. It's just very neat stuff.

Hürrem: Many girls were introduced to his majesty. Among them, there was even a princess. Where are they now? Look around you. You will not see anyone but me.

Speaking of confident remarks, there comes another one of Hürrem's that no matter how many concubines came, they all went and now there is no one other than her. This line further sets a consistent trend of ambiguity, because she's right in the context of the episode and it encapsulates the resolution of these particular plot-lines of Hürrem and Süleiman in the season and we can get behind her words overall both in the arc and in rewatch, in spite of the retroactive irony, but she's wrong in that it's the end of her harem fights, very far from it, as season 3 and season 4 prove. She hasn't completely won yet, even though she sets the impression that she has.

What I also find interesting in this scene is the back and forth throwing of past - present - future between the two sides. They make a perfect showcase of what these characters represent, their states, their losses, their desires, their hopes, dreams and philosophies. Here, in example, Hürrem makes a reference to a part of her obstacles in the past, acknowledging that they were there regardless, but then she immediately goes back to the present with "Where are they now?". Nowhere in the scene she considered the possibilities of the future, the sheer probability that it all may change one day (as it happened, in many ways, through Firuze), focusing on the currently undeniable truth the present day presents.

That same throwing back and forth continues, but with another note which instantly places the two women against each other again:

Mahidevran: I was also loved once, Hürrem. Mustafa is the fruit of that love. Ask Gülfem Hatun if you want. She will tell you how much she suffered because of me.

Hürrem: You always tell this story.

Unlike Hürrem, who only references the past, Mahidevran laments it and takes pride in it, it being the highlight of her once beautiful life. But we know what went down afterwards, adding in the possibility that maybe, it would all be temporary and what one may have now, may change, because Mahidevran was also in Hürrem's position once. Hürrem however, calls out her fixation on the past, in a similar fashion to how she has done it before (E59: "Are you being proud of your past now? Let me remind you: You're still a slave."), what she had doesn't matter, it's the now that is important to Hürrem, which is a solid thematic note to her character arc.

Though, we have this line of dialogue in response:

We here notice that no matter how long it took for them to do it, Mahidevran and Hürrem actually had parallel arcs, in terms of letting go of the past. This line makes for such a striking revelation of Mahidevran's emotional state from her perspective that only continued what episode 46 hinted at and episode 55 directly started. (E55: "I ripped out the love I had of your father of my heart, I threw it into the sea! He doesn't matter to me anymore. Now you are the only one in my heart.") It's rather surprising that she says these words now - Mahidevran's rule of the harem is arguably her at her worst, doing what she does out of the last ounces of her wanting payback for the sad, bitter years. It's precisely what she lost that motivated her, that was a sure part of the reason she sent Olga to SS and yet, we have that honest confession, that grasp of acceptance. Mahidevran's battle with SS was lost very early on and it took her very slow and gradual development for her to accept it and by E61, she was doing the last steps to do so. She tries hard to convince Hürrem that no matter how hard she tries, there is a cycle in this harem that cannot be changed, Mahidevran has come to terms with it, so Hürrem has to do the same. In a way, she was probably trying to say that they both have been fighting a losing battle and she expresses a small amount of sympathy over it, too - she knows what it's like and it's hard, but it's like some unwritten law that it's not worth it in the end and that everyone gets affected by it, without exception. That's how she begins to look upon her present and show a hint of the future.

Out of the particular context, this line could be a very nice stronger endorsement of the franchise's themes, because, truly, no one ever got a good, triumphant, heroic ending. And it was like a cycle: everyone had to face the feelings of sorrow, grief and loss, everyone had to suffer in this time period, everyone dies. Gülfem called Hürrem's life a fairy tale in E134, but that "fairy tale" came to an end after her death. And if we leave that aside, there is hardly a breather episode even for the biggest of victories, no matter how many victories you've won, they would always "have their end", the narrative would always condemn them one way or another.

Mahidevran: One day a woman will appear and would destroy your indestructible love!

The future is finally put on the front with the scene overall and with Mahidevran herself. It's a continuation of her belief that Hürrem would be "detroned", regardless of all. Thing is, she also doesn't consider her own future, only the one of her rival's. She believes in her own victory that is opposed in the present, but would surely come in the future, a belief she holds until the end of the series. Even though I doubt the writers planned Firuze's existence right back then per say, this line sounds like such foreshadowing to her in retrospect, which makes Mahidevran both right and wrong with this quote. Firuze caused an actual continuous rift between Hürrem and Süleiman, making her doubt his love in ways she hadn't before. Nazenin comes into the picture, as well. But no one truly succeeds to properly destroy the love between Süleiman and Hürrem and they managed to prevail, despite of all the narrative opposition. She still stayed the most dear woman to SS's heart, no matter what. There is a slight possibility of Mahidevran judging the situation one hundred percent to herself here, claiming rather that the appearance of another woman would make Hürrem fall out of love with SS and destroy that, instead, just like it was with her, but since Mahidevran called the same line back during the Firuze episodes, I think she was referring to the rift Firuze would cause and how would Hü fall deeper and deeper.

Hürrem: Mahidevran, don't think of me as your equal.

This line is very telling in that Hürrem considers herself different than everyone else. It has always been a part of her character, perhaps a running reminder of her unprecedented elevation in the system she's telling us about through words. And most of the interpretations I've encountered of this line are exactly this: it is epic, badass, it is delivered in such a shading sassy way that could only be respected or applauded. However, it is just as possible for this infamous one-liner to be presented as the culmination of not only her persistent insistence to assert herself as different and special, but her continuous unwillingness to be compared to anyone else in the harem. And usually she's compared to guess who? Mahidevran. She doesn't want to even think of the possibility to be compared with her by this point (starting from E40 where after she was freed, she said: "Now I'm not equal to you." right to Mahidevran's face and continuing forward into S03 with: "I told you not to compare me to others, to Mahidevran never!" -it was something like that), but at first, which is now probably buried deep within, she feared becoming like Mahidevran. She repeated "I'm not Mahidevran!" when she was out of favor like with the Russian concubines, Mahidevran's words that she would make the same mistakes she did echoed in her head during the Isabella arc in episode 31 and earlier had a nightmare of Süleiman giving the emerald ring to Mahidevran instead of Hürrem in a completely parallel scene. (there's also the other nightmare where Mahidevran was taunting Hürrem to tell her about Leo.) Hürrem dreaded all of those things happening and tried her very best to avoid the very thoughts of it. Now, in a season nearly full of victories in her part, she had gained the belief that whatever happens, she'll always stand above the others. She wants to give off the vibe that no one would ever stop her. She has broken so many traditions and the narrative is currently rooted at her favor, all well and good, right? This line could be a mask, in a way, hiding the fear of being rejected just like the others (that doesn't completely disappear, seeing her suicide attempt in E72; also E106's menopause plot.) and striving to leave it behind her, now reaching its peak by putting not only Mahidevran, but the rest of the women into the picture, without a second of realization of the implications it causes, because well, who else was given such special attention by the Sultan? Who else was freed, who else had such a marriage, who else got out of death's door so many times, who else overcame everything, who else had a chance to "rain as fire" over all her enemies? Even though the quote applies on a much grander scale in execution, in later seasons and the way it got called back to in MCK, I feel, in this particular context, it refers to the harem and Süleiman specifically - his majesty doesn't need any other women, there is no such woman that could take away what Hürrem has and even if they stand together, they wouldn't stand a chance, because Hürrem is that massive and powerful.

The retroactive irony hits hard and here: she's right in the events of this particular episode, but the subsequent events definetly tell a different story. Hürrem's influence and power is acknowledged, especially in her last episodes, but that she's the only one capable of having such power is not necessarily true, given the existence of the SOW, some members of which reached more highs than she did, due to the evolving extent of power they could exercise in the system.

Mahidevran: Your arrogance will end you, Hürrem! One day when you're suffering in pain, I'll remind you this!

Hürrem: Mahidevran, you're not here anymore. You'll be leaving soon!

Mahidevran: You're not powerful enough for that!

The focus on the present and future is back with this quick, but substantial exchange. Mahidevran seems to count completely on what will happen in the future in the first line, while Hürrem accounts for both the present and the future, seemingly in accordance, and Mahidevran brings the confrontation back to the present, for what Hürrem talks about is currently unattainable. These lines look like a brief summary of what was established before about the beliefs of both characters: they both desire the end of one another - for Mahidevran it would happen eventually, because Hürrem would end herself in her eyes and Mahidevran would live for this moment and even witness it (and while she didn't witness it exactly, she lived and outlived them all, because there would be no death for her until they get what they deserve, a belief that carries on the strongest in season 4); for Hürrem it has already happened, but it would keep going, fueling her will to get rid of all her enemies and being in conjunction with the ongoing plot arc itself, for her attacking her enemies in all fronts in ways she hadn't before. The last line of Mahidevran's stops the dialogue between both of them for good (followed by Hürrem's smug grin), resting back on her current position, that is also how her whole set of dialogue began in the first place. Even though there was a hint of realization that she has been fighting a losing battle a while before, the part of hers that would prefer not going to the sanjack than give up now, is directly reflected on. It sets more of a parallel between how both of them are, because Mahidevran told Hürrem that arrogance would end her a few seconds ago, but now she's the one that demonstrates this same arrogance herself, starting to underestimate her own opponents yet again, simply because she rules the harem. Claiming that Hürrem doesn't have the power to send her to the sanjack by force, is true, actually, because Ibrahim interfered at the last moment, but this way Mahidevran seems to brush off Hürrem's victories completely, somehow convincing herself that she's forgotten how far has Hürrem gone and just like her rival, thinking of herself as unstoppable. (that goes on the season finale, too, where she says: "If you're powerful enough, face me by yourself!".) This attitude more or less cemented her downfall in this arc, as it would cement major flaws of Hürrem's in the future.

And then they're stopped by... Süleiman himself and I love that, because they have to stop because he comes, they have to stop because he's watching them and give him the necessary respect. Symbolically, it could be a showcase of him being the decider of everyone's fates and them having to accept his will at the end of the day.

And after he leaves, of course, Hürrem and Mahidevran prepare to carry on with their bickering, as they usually do. While that's the end of the whole confrontation, their expressions tell us it's not over yet.

It's particularly interesting, even as a confrontational scene alone: it's longer than many of the confrontational scenes between them, it speaks more volumes about the opposing sides than any other of the kind has dreamed to. While I love Mahidevran and Hürrem's chemistry, I wish there were more scenes like this one, more nuanced interactions than vitriol and constant, almost formulaic smackdowns. Because, to me, this whole confrontation, while simple at hindsight, raised the bar to what could we have had. The rivalry of the two ladies is fascinating on a thematic level and not exploring its depth further, would be a myriad of wasted opportunities.

This scene did right all you could think of: composition, soundtrack, attention to detail, chemistry, dialogue and opposing two sides on a respectful, unbiased, while narratively provoked, way. I adore the way it aged: as I said, it created a perfect blend between context of the episode/plot arc and retroactive irony and the mix of cause and effect of soapy intrigues, character exploration through lines and all the coming thematic stuff, while being filled with dynamic and fun energy. And it's absolutely sublime for it.

#i planned to only use images at first #but since Tumblr now allows only up to 10 #I had to quote most stuff #magnificent century #muhteşem yüzyıl #mahidevran sultan #hurrem sultan

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bailey-reaper · 3 years ago

Text

The Lord of the Manor (5)

Summary: It is said that you 'reap what you sow', apparently that saying is no different for Grim Reapers...

Content Warnings: angst, xenophobia reference / imperialist thinking + me taking artistic liberties re: the van Zieks family

Other parts: (1) | (2) | (3) | (4) |

In the distance Barok could hear voices talking, which only served to confuse him. He was inside Klint's burial chamber, no one else should be here. He opened his eyes, head pounding, and found his confusion grew all the more.

This was not his brother's crypt. It was his own room, yet he had no recollection of leaving the family cemetery or the journey home.

He felt warm and dizzy, and that feeling intensified when he tried to sit up, "...Ugh..." it was slowly dawning on him that he was feverish. Most likely due to the reckless trip he took during a fierce storm.

"My Lord, are you awake?" he heard Harvey's voice.

"... Yes," his croaked, as though his vocal chords had rusted, "... What... happened, Harvey?" no doubt the butler could elucidate him.

"The groundskeeper was tending to the cemetery after the storm and found you collapsed on the floor. He came back to the estate and informed me, I then arranged to have you brought home so that the physician could assess you. Thankfully he does not think it's anything serious, most likely fatigue."

".... I see," Barok laid back in the bed and closed his eyes, his vision was already starting to swim, "... Thank you, Harvey."

"It is my pleasure, my lord, I am glad you are safe... the physician thinks you may have a fever but that you should recover after a few days of rest. Please let me know if you need anything."

"I will..." his consciousness was already slipping; soon enough he drifted to sleep.

──────≪⊰✥⊱≫───────

His sleep was fitful; drifting in and out of consciousness for several hours while his body wracked with freezing shivers and unbearable flashes of warmth. He writhed and groaned as the fever took a firmer hold of his faculties.

"Truly you seem to be suffering, little brother..."

Barok opened his eyes and stared in disbelief at the man sitting on his bed -- Klint. He was sat there, looking over at him with face marred by concern, "... K...Klint?" he uttered, before trying to sit up only to think better of it when his head throbbed sharply.

"Mmm," his older brother nodded, "Truth be told you're hallucinating, but I suppose that's to be expected when you neglect yourself in this manner."

A wry smile tugged his lips; it seemed his own mind was set upon chastising him for his earlier impulsiveness, "... Of course... a figment of my imagination."

"Yes... you've pushed yourself too hard of late, no wonder things have gotten on top of you and now you're feverish and hallucinating."

"..." he felt a strong surge of sadness in the pit of his stomach, "My mind couldn't at least trick me into thinking you were a ghost..."

"You're too cynical for that," the mirage pointed out, "No doubt you'd have tried to cross-examine this situation and forced the truth out of yourself."

It was irksome how accurate that statement was, and how he was incapable of formulating a witty reply to it. Eventually he gave up and muttered, "... Perhaps."

"Undoubtedly," the figment said, "Now, I suppose we'd best get to the bottom of why you're having this moment of delirium..."

"Clearly because I'm feverish," he retorted dryly.

"No..." Klint shook his head, "Clearly you need to do some soul searching. You've lost your way, your feelings of hopelessness have driven you to be reckless and now you don't know what to do with yourself. Perhaps you need to take a step back and re-calibrate, little wolf."

"Nonsense..." he muttered as he draped a hand over his eyes; his forehead was burning, "I... I know precisely what I need to do..."

"Oh really? Well I assure you that clinging to the past isn't it."

".... I know that," but how could he resist? This house was full of memories; it was the last place in all the world where Klint's memory was still a tangible thing that he could hold on to. It was all he had left of him.

"Find something to live for, Barok. You have a chance to turn a new page, to step out of your brother's shadow. You don't have to be a prosecutor. You don't have to be a lawyer. You can be whatever you want."

"Whatever I want..." he mumbled to himself as a wave of tiredness washed over him; he relinquished himself to it and drifted into a deep sleep

──────≪⊰✥⊱≫───────

For several days, Barok continued to drift in and out of delirious conversations with a mimicry of his brother. Until his body recovered and he overcame the fever; there was a dull pang in his chest when it dawned on him that he could not longer hallucinate his brother's presence watching over him, but, it was a familiar grief and one he continued to hold in his core.

He decided to take the fever dreams to heart, rather than wallowing, and set about busying himself with numerous distractions; a main one being repairing the old family estate. It had been refurbished sometime during his grandfather's lifetime, but it seemed the work had been rather shoddy.

In between the renovations, he engaged in correspondence with a few individuals in London, including members of the Prosecutor's Office, and dabbled in stocks to maintain the family's wealth. His employment as a Prosecutor was hardly a king's ransom, but it had been an impressive wage and he was conscious to avoid squandering his family's assets while he languished in a malaise.

For a few years that became his routine, and it was a reasonably comfortable one. He enjoyed the Devon countryside atop Black Gale and distracted himself with a mix of physical and cerebral activities. Yet, it felt profoundly empty to him; there was an acute sense of wistfulness at his core and he knew precisely what it related to.

He had geared his entire life for a career as a lawyer, and the part of his mind that had enjoyed the intellectual rigour found his current life far too humdrum. Of course he still read the Legal Reports not long after they were handed down by the Courts, out of a 'healthy curiosity', he told himself, but reading about the law was nothing when compared to actually practising it.

The anecdotes he received from his peers in the Prosecutor's Office did little to slake that innermost wish, in fact they only stoked it more. But he resisted by reminding himself why he left in the first place.

Should he return, the Capital would once more be swept up in its 'Reaper fever'; the press would fixate on his every move, the criminal underbelly of London would sharpen its knifes and perhaps this time manage to get his eyes... Fear had no part of it, for he did not fear death, but it grew wearisome to be so fetishised by the world at large and all it did was remind him all the more that Klint was not here.

Klint was the one who had inspired such a fervent love of the law in him; his righteousness, his acumen, his talent for public speaking... every time he'd watched his brother in court he'd fallen in love with the law a little more, for it embodied the very things his brother stood for. Or, that's what he'd wanted to believe.

The truth had been a bitter pill to swallow – for, while the law had the best of intentions, it was a clunky machine that often failed to work at the moment where individuals and society at large most needed it. Loopholes and the unjust were constantly undermining it. He felt the dichotomy between reality and idealism keenly. He had often equated the Law with Justice, but sadly the two things were not synonymous.

Sometimes he wondered how Klint had coped with that knowledge, for he saw his brother as a bastion of justice and a man of integrity who would no doubt have been just as aware of the law's failings as he. How he longed to ask his brother now that he had the benefit of practical experience.

For several years he maintained his distance from London and the law; many among the aristocracy gossiped, from rumours about his death to wild theories about his having eloped to America to marry into some wealthy entrepreneurial family, but for the most part he ignored them too. The only time he deigned to mingle with the other noble families was when such was demanded of him as master of the house.

One day, however, a letter arrived from London that piqued his interest to the point he could no longer resist it.

Magnus McGilded was becoming an increasingly brazen problem for the capital. He knew the moneylender had something of a reputation, one that caused misery among the desperate and unfortunate who had fallen upon hardtimes; but it sounded as though his activities were causing more angst than ever before, not least of all because he continued to evade the Courts through underhanded means.

Of course, his friend opined, it was not possible to prove that Magnus McGilded was bribing the Jury, buying witnesses and a catalogue of other dubious evasive tactics; but nor could anyone explain why entire cases were dropped at the last minute or why the police had failed to locate key witnesses until they themselves appeared from nowhere with vital information (in McGilded's favour).

It irked him to his core as he read of the various trials that had collapsed, and for the first time in a long while he felt a strong desire to do something. To bring the rodent out of his labyrinth of deceptions and into the light of day. He knew full well it was something that he would be capable of, were he to oversee a future investigation...

His mind raced with thoughts about how to outwit the Irish Shylock at his own game...

Another thing that piqued his interest was a throwaway postscript:

[Ps. We've had word from Lord Stronghart to expect some Nipponese student in a few months time. Apparently there is some cultural exchange afoot and the young man will be studying British law. I can't say I see the necessity, but I suppose our great nation ought to be charitable to those from more impoverished places...]

Seeing that word roused ugly feelings in his core, things that he had managed to keep his distance from for some time; but the anger was never far away. The resentment, like rot, was deep in his soul and it had been left alone but not eradicated.

The near-five years he had spent in the ancestral home was a welcomed reprieve, and served to focus his mind to some degree. He had never lost his passion for the law, and now it seemed there were reasons to pull him back into the foray.

Perhaps it was high time the Reaper returned London...

─────── Fin.

#barok van zieks #klint van zieks #angst #drabble #cw: xenophobia #cw: imperialism

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