#its gonna be grocery money
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hate to do this once again but i really need some help financially
basically. i overdrew my account because my paycheck was short and some of my bills were higher than usual. my account was overdrawn by $100. one of my payments bounced & was returned.
my roommate sent me their half of shared bills yesterday. i didn't realize until i tried to pay said bill that the first bounced payment was tried again and went through this time
so i am short $75 for that bill, which is due on the oct 9th
and i have an appointment on monday for $60, but it's possible they might make me pay the $45 i owe from a previous appointment as well as the copay so uh
total needed: $180
ko-fi link in bio, pypal @elvenari
#carter speaks#i thought i was gonna be okay and then that fucking payment got pulled and i am. so stressed#and if i get all 180 in donations and it turns out they dont make me pay the $45 then#its gonna be grocery money#bc i literally have no extra money to feed myself
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I know a sorta made a small post along these lines the other day, but something a lil more official of!!
im kinda broke rn, between the recent stuff with losing my car and having to get a new one and work literally scheduling me 13 hrs a week. Im slowly losing money and it got really bad this month after paying my bills and everything and realizing I had just 300 bucks in my bank account.
My current job hasn't been working with me to give me the hours i need to make a living wage and iv been trying to get a new job for months with no success and it's looking like i could really use a lil extra support via online commission work rn until I can land a more solid paying job. I really hate to sound like a desperate wet cardboard box beast but I still need to insure my new car and cant afford it as i stand right now.
I wont ask for donations, I think im going to be fine, but a lil money to help keep my head above the water would be great so im just gonna promo my commission work. To anyone who can commission me in some way or another would be awesome! I appreciate any support I can get rn even just a reblog
My Commission Info
My Kofi
My Etsy
My Toyhouse
#again sorry for sounding like im crying wolf with 200 in my account but i havent bought groceries this month#or my car insurance#im waiting for my next paycheck#so i kinda know its about to get sucked down the drain#i still havent bought christmas gifts for my brother and the cousins which i would really like to be able to if i could#again im not gonna die#so im not asking for donations#i will be fine#im just a lil money stressed and if i could branch out to try and get some commission work rn that would be a huge help#again im not asking for donations#there defiantly ppl who need it more than me#but if you were everythinkin to commission me and have the funds rn#i wouldnt mind if you reached out#i know its the holidays and everyone is probably low on funds#i see the situation as it is rn#but if i could just make an extra hundred or two i think it put my mind at ease a lil more for when its time to pay all my bills again
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I have a preview pic for the video I took but basically nobody's online rn to see so I feel like I should wait until later to post it... but also it's a really good screenshot 😭 I'm impatient
#bitts posts#i did decide that for non mutuals its gonna cost a lil bit of money but just because i need groceries today#itll be five bucks (unless you feel like giving me more) and you get the google drive link#you will need to request access bc ive had problems in the past with sharing videos that weren't restricted access#but like. i promise ill ignore it if your name is on there or something#anyway. ill post the screenshot in a few hours
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job applications: this is entry level! anyone can apply!
job applications: ...as long as you've done at least six months of highly specific work, or have this exact degree, or if you kissed a chicken during the last moon of 2012-
#im back in the trenches bois its Not Looking Great#gonna apply to this stupid thing anyway but#it looks like stockin grocery store shelves is the way im gonna go#unless i get Very lucky or manage to bullshit my way into this job#college isn't necessary but Man a lot of places want you to attend. no <3#but noooo instead i have to like. work. till i die. and never make enough money to live comfortably. sigh#sometimes i think to myself 'i should make video essays on youtube and see if that goes anywhere'#and sometimes i think 'i should scribble up things that people would buy and make a shop'#and sometimes i think 'what if i killed someone with a stick. would that be fucked up or what'#absolutely unprompted#AGHHHHHHHH THE BOXES WE AS HUMANITY HAVE LOCKED OURSELVES INTO IM GONNA LOSE IT#i was born to be a handsome decoration / weird little artist for eccentric wealthy people#i was meant to drape myself across a beautiful philanthropist woman's lap and doodle lil animals for her#while she rambles and feeds me grapes#yk. if i did make a shop i could have an extra section for small crochet things#coasters. small hand warmers. tiny shapes. simple cat toys. that sorta thing. quick and easy stuff#i could make them w/ specific colors so that they're subtle fandom themed#i literally have a coaster in damian's robin colors... a black/red SB square...#hm. thinking#oh shit i gotta work on that new commission sheet#OH NO. I FORGOR SOMETHING I SHOULD NOT HAVE FORGOR. I HAVE MADE A LITTLE FUCKY WUCKY#excuse me everyone i have something to finish
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please help me out of a financial crisis
hello, i try to never do this but im in serious need of money, urgently. ive had to recently move to las vegas due to california being too expensive to be sustainable. i have to pay rent in a few days. i only have 200 right now and i need to pay 600 for rent for this month!
ko-fi - for an incentive, you'll get an uncolored doodle of whatever you request for only 5 dollars!
pa.ypal / ven.mo - if you don't really need an incentive, pretty much ANY amount of money would be appreciated. thank you so much.
i'm a broke as fuck trans person with autism trying to survive on my own. i havent been able to land a stable and well paying job and although ive been looking for new jobs, as we all know they take far too long to get back to you. while i continue to job hunt and attempt to make quick money on the side. i've been forced to come on here and pray that there are some people who see this who want to help me out in raising money quicker. im not even gonna go into my five missed months of my car payments. im absolutely desperate at this point. i dont really have anybody who can take care of me in the worst case scenario so any amount of money i'd be so, so grateful for. thank you so much for considering.
#important#financial aid#anything helps#donations#venmo#paypal#ko-fi#please reblog#even if you cant donate please share this#help#its so so hard to hold onto your money when your job sucks it barely gives you hours you barely have enough time to look for jobs +#paying for gas and groceries#if this gets zero traction for like 5 days im just gonna delete this and i guess just try figuring shit out on my own..
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college is making me want to shoot myself in the head really bad, which is crazy because i thought i was completely done with feeling suicidal after highschool ended. my life is looking up and i have a lot to look forward to.
but the funny thing is. that beautiful future, which is the reason i don't want to die, is only obtainable through going to college and working very hard and stressing myself out all the time. which, in turn, makes me want to die.
#as per usual my mental health has been doing great and here comes school again to throw a wrench in the works#its so unfair that i cant be guaranteed a small house and a well paying job and a domestic life with my girlfriend just by surviving#i mean for my girlfriend i've tried to set it up so that that's all she has to do and i'll set up everything else#but surviving in itself is a lot harder for her than for i#i just want us to be O.K. !!!#and then there's the genocide that doesnt involve me but i'd be kind of a horrible person not to care about it#which i do care. i want to donate but i barely have enough money for myself and my girlfriend to live happily#and thats WITH my parents keeping me housed and paying for groceries bills repairs etc#AND college tuition.#swear to GOD i could be given like 10 thousand dollars rn and i would use almost all of it to help others just out of sheer moral obligatio#theres not even very much i would want to spend money on for myself rn#i like my current wardrobe enough and my doll collection is almost at full capacity so its gonna stagnate soon#and thats like. it. i buy myself snacks and stuff sometimes but thats all the ways i spend money for purely selfish reasons#besides that i just wanna help my girlfriend out and all those suffering in palestine#im rambling. i need a fucking break from it all sorry#life suddenly seems so bleak again#evilmartin430.txt#vent
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What the food pantry on campus does:
- gives me snacks and drinks to supplement my regular groceries, breakfast stuff, maybe ingredients for 1-2 actual meals
What the food pantry is really bad at doing:
- giving me food I can make into proper meals for the week
Oh you want juice? Here’s 2 little juice boxes. Nothing else; they’re limited. You want pasta sauce? 1 can; limited. You want produce? 2 produce item limit, except for the apples which are starting to spoil. You can have all of those. You want frozen chicken? One container only. Oh, they’re all stuck together and frozen? Sorry, you can’t have two; no chicken, I guess. Pasta? One box only. Rice? Two small bags, max. Breakfast bars? Yeahhhh, those are a snack, and you can only have five snacks, total. But if you put those pop tarts back, you could have some! Oh, you want donuts instead? Sure! But that’s a bakery item, and you can only have one baked good, so you’re gonna need to put that bread back. You want ziploc bags? Here, have two. Not two boxes, two bags. Item limits. Sorry. You can come back next week!
How the fuck are people supposed to actually *use* these things for weekly meal planning if there’s not enough to last a week???
I swear I am grateful for these resources I’m sure they’re doing the best they can with what they have I’m just *frustrated*. I’m trying to spend less on groceries bc I can’t really afford them. It’s nice that the food pantry gives me these small portions to last me a couple days. But that still leaves several days with not enough food unless I’m really creative or go grocery shopping, and I simply do not have the energy or time to be really creative.
#blue chatter#yes yes u have pasta noodles that’s GREAT#that’s not a full meal until I have sauce and meat or veggies to go with it#and your produce and meat stock are very limited if they exist#oh you have rice? great! rice on its own is not enough for a meal. what is going Into The Rice.#like obv if I have to I will just eat the pasta or the rice but a lot of the food bank’s stuff focuses on shelf stable staples and not like.#ingredients you can actually make into a full meal. like. protein and fat and vegetables or fruit.#carbs are super important but if you only have carbs then your body is gonna suffer#same if you only have protein or only have veggies/fruit or only have fat. you need all of them.#and like yes. they do have a couple basic staples like peanut butter. if I needed to make a balanced meal I could probably eat a spoonful of#peanut butter and some rice and snag a bag of apples and eat those. and I will do that if I gotta.#but the effort it would take to turn that into a dish I would enjoy and feel full after eating is. so much.#and they don’t have staple ingredients like flour or sugar or eggs#sometimes they have butter. sometimes. they had eggs once but they were rotten.#like I am so grateful for the free food believe me I am but I don’t understand how they expect students who don’t have grocery money to eat#you could get everything they let you take and still go hungry or feel sick from lack of nutrients or be unable to make food bc they don’t#have spoons or the equipment or both#also. the food pantry is SUPER not wheelchair accessible. and the parking situation is DIRE.#why are there only two (15 min limit) parking spots. but 38584847 meter spots. and the closest non-meter lot 10 minutes walk away.#I had a pain flare yesterday from lugging my groceries all the way back to my car. my gosh.#I should not have to pay for the privilege of parking a reasonable distance from the food bank when there’s spots RIGHT THERE UNUSED#nobody goes to this part of campus! everything is closed except for the food bank! why are these meter spots!
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im punching and punching and punching my anxiety today
#[static]#man i need a new job but im gonna try my best to stick it out for the next year and a half so that im 'vested' -#- or whatever its called for my little tiny 401k money lmao#im starting to get anxiety about work on my days off more than usual#they just changed it from 5 years to 6 years fjgkdlghd#and im nearly at 5 years#also i think im gonna try and stick it out with the full time up until October and i'm going back to 4 days a week for my sanity#and also theyve been cracking down on ppl missing work and the winter time i have to call out a couple times a month for snow#they used to be understanding about it but it sounds like they arent anymore :)#in one breath they'll be like 'yeah it's no worries we work at a grocery store who cares! we're stacking cans this isn't life or death'#but the moment you gotta leave early due to snow so you can actually make it home in one piece they get butthurt lmao#mind you I have put my car in a ditch BECAUSE of work doing this to me and i ended up missing a week + covering repairs because of it#like ... would you rather i go home 2 hours early or miss 4-6 days of work and be in debt :)#and the answer is the 2nd one for them lmao i fucking hate them
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discovered im not cut out for university even if im studying something i enjoy so after they kick me out im just gonna get a shitty overnight fast food or service station job and then make youtube videos for fun 👍
#just applied to every kfc in my area and also a coles express and also a spotlight im actually getting really scared about the future#thought maccas would hire me but they didnt so now im.#idk. im losing hope. but its okay because im medicated lmao. and ive got money for at least two months rent and some extra grocery money#but still. i just need a job. i just need to be able to do a job and a hobby#i worked my ass off to get into uni because i realised i wasnt built for hospo. but im not built for academia either so back to hospo it is#at least until im a bit more employable#and then idk. i can learn myself some things for fun and then do study when im older#if i don't get employed this year idk what im gonna do#cant k my s i already tried that and im bad at it too lol. if i got put in a ward with no stable income i would actually break i think#gotta do whats best for me and whats best for me is aquire a stable income and keep the amount of freedom i currently have over my own life#i just hope it all works out in the end
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if i might bitch about work for a second: yesterday was hellishly bad despite being able to keep up with it and i found out that apparently our department made 4600 dollars yesterday which is making me angry beyond belieffffffff
#this is math i do fairly often bc i enjoy ho-hum math and hate my job and like#even if we took off 2000 bucks for overhead costs which feels excessive but i will concede it#that would be enough to pay everyone working a little over 860 dollars which is 300 more than what i make in a WEEK#literally WHEREEEEE IS IT WHERE IS IT GOING WHERE IS IT#i dont like following this logic through because on days where there are fewer orders we;d do less#and i disagree with gig work's implementation as ive seen it and i think that would stress people out worse than we already are#(which is significantly)#but at the same time. 850 dollars. i cant afford to buy groceries this week. 850 dollars...#can i get a BONUS or SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#it makes me soooo angry i was talking to one of the deli guys who asked for a raise and got denied mid-question#before our director accidentally showed him that their department is four thousand of gods own dollars under labor#its so revolting to me i talk to so many people in this store who are terrified because of medical bills or rent or car shit#half my department works two jobs just to get by and ALL OF THEM drive junkers#honestly one of the things thats scaring me about if i actually move out is that i do rely on...living with my mom#i pay for most of my own food i pay an absurd amount of rent to share a room with her but she's willing to drive me to work#even though i've offered to walk multiple times and she REALLY should prioritize her own time more#but at the same time...not having to pay for rides has been carrying me hard#if i got a car i'd be fucked because those things bleed money and generally ethically i disagree with cars#but if i dont its like okay pony up the money learn to navigate buses (except for sunday when they dont run) or get ready#to walk to your job where you walk all day and then walk home in the dark#which. i love walking. and listening to music on my own while walking. so bad example. but i also love not having my feet hurt#all the time always no matter what im doing which is something im becoming increasingly unfamiliar with#its like. ultimately. something's gonna get fucked no matter what#and then i hear a figure like 4600 and i remember how avoidable all of this shit is. how avoidable it is for ANY of us#our ceo is gonna walk away from this merger attempt with 5 billion dollars in safety-cushion money#the 10 top execs beneath him with 1 billion#and its just so. what can you even do. 5 billion. can a number like that even mean anything? how could you possibly need that much#850 dollars would be a lifechanging amount of money for me right now and im not even one of the worst off#its just. god. this world could be anything but what it is but its this and for what
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anyways sry its not srs eventually ill get it together . and be a person again. one day
#its just like atm everything that i need is like . not possible. which is oartially my brain being like We have to do this before we this#which sometimes isnt true but sometimes is#like i cant get medicated again or back seeing a psych or back on t until i get a job again#but i cant get a job again utnil i get my ged <- partially untrue but ged would make it a lot easier#but i cant get my ged until i have a job bc it costs money <- if i asked my parents they would probably help me If they had money 2 spare#since like. yk. they want ne to be able to work again so i have money again and ill be another source of income and they care abt me also .#affirmations . ppl donot just see me as a piggy bank they do see me as a person im not judt someone to squeeze money out of thats not how#ppl view me and its fine its fine its fine its fine . it feels so stupid being scared abt that i feel like a rich person whos like She only#likes me for my money 😭 like stfuuu annoying ass. i just ummmm. have a massive fear of debt and like. ppl demanding money from me#unexpectedly or expecting i am going to give them money. not in like a Ohhh fucking ppl want me to donate not it at all im happy to donate#but in like. god this is dumb. eveeytime i got birthday or christmas money as a kid i had to give it to my parents so they could buy food or#gas or whatever. and it never got paid bsck and it felt like shit. but i couldnt ever say no bc then itd be My fault we didnt have food that#week . yk. my first paycheck i had to give it all to my mom for groceries and we got in a fight in the store bc she was like Ok im gonna go#buy pop and my dumbass got upset abt it bc like. my mom told me itd be Necessities nd like. yk. wtvr. it was fucking stupid my entire family#r caffeine addicts so pop is a necessity i was just. rly upset and it felt like my parents saw my money as just. theirs but they had to ask#abt it so i wouldnt get pissy. yk. and they ask me for money a lot usually for food and i dont mind but it like. idk im rly paranoid abt#being a provider and ive got a Lot of guilt abt like. anytime we dont have enough food it feels like my fault bc it was my fault when i wasa#kid if i didnt give up my christmas money for pizza. or whatever. idk its so dramatic like i didnt need the money i was 8 it was selfish of#me to wanna buy fucking. toys or whatever that wasnt more important than My parents being able to get to work or my siblings being able to#fucking. literally eat. or paying bills. like its selfish that im like wahhh wahhh but i wanted to buy vibeo game wif my bday money i#shouldve judt been fucking grateful i was able to help my family. wtvr. I hate connor. wtvr#n then the shit with ugh last year like. yk. and stuff. and then the them stealing 1000 from me not getting into it b4 i get mad. idk.#and im just lazy now i need to get a job again but all the shit like. as i was saying earlier b4 i started whining. idk. i should be happy#that i get to help w bills and stuff that was my dream as a kid#like ever since i was 5 when i was fantasizing abt my future i was like Im gonna marry a prince and then ill be able to afford to pay all of#my families bills and my parents and siblings will be able to go to college and be happy and maybe never have to work bc ill be able to#handle it and ive always like. yk. when i was a dumbass kid i was like Ill go to college so i can get a good job and be useful. of course i#cant ever go to college bc im fucking. useless. and itd just be another burden on my family if i was in debt bc i couldnt help them as much#if i had debt and itd be selfish. and it doesnt matter bc im too stupid to go to college anyway. idk. i wish i could just fix everything#it just feels awful rn im literally just a drain and my family doesnt say it to me yk like. ik theyre happy imback i think they are
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this year's really like "they're gonna see you as the villain no matter what you do and don't do" huh
#personal#vent#my grandma's been pressuring me every single day to check her bank account to see if the money she harassed her stepsons for got in#i say harassed bc she pressured them to give her late husband's money over and over bc she married him#and last week he said that he banked it in and i checked and it wasnt there#told my aunt about it. spent the next 3-4 days checking it and its still not there#and grandma's been super pissed about it#she's been having this look whenever she talks to me about the money#i think she suspects that i took the money#she already pinned me as a thief to our relatives back when SHE WAS THE ONE WHO USED UP ALL THE MONEY#and any money i used was for GROCERIES and FOOD and BILLS????#and she's not having it#bruh i'm fucking bad at lying plus my conscience wouldn't let me rest if i did steal and use it on myself????#i already feel bad for buying food#just now she got all pissed bc she wants to go to the bank and demand an explanation why the money isn't there#like. call that stepson then#or something#either way i think i'm gonna be pinned as a thief and while i DID NOT DO IT i'm just really fucking tired of being accused#i have nothing to fear bc THE MONEY ISNT EVEN THERE but come ON#stop looking at me like i'm a goddamn criminal
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literally so so so fucking stupid that we get consistently more helpful and better welfare and social care from the local church than the actual welfare institutions. idiot country
#like theyre helping us pay a few hundred off our bills and will give us 120€ for groceries next month 😭 meanwhile the actual welfare#institutions are like Oh you have no money for food or bills Well tough luck. like. its really really not supposted to work like this and#yet for years its been like this. man…… i dont even think im a part of the church and when my mom goes there shes also never been asked#about any of that stuff. well whatever i feel like this + that donation from earlier (ty 😭) have like. actually made a significant amount of#the stress and fear go away for now. im gonna cry im so exhausted
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I literally do not understand how you can live with roommates see an expensive drink appear in the fridge that you didn't buy and just think you can take it?????????? I do not spend my own money and buy drinks for you to take. and if its that fucking hard to resist then leave a note and replace it on ur way home from work not wait until I have to ask where it went like 14 hours later until you fess up
#im so FUCKING aggrivated actually#its a $3 drink but i bought that for ME . its the whole concept#technically it was my bfs money because he covered groceries this time but still#i want that replaced before you get home tomorrow. or else im gonna start getting petty
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whats up work hasnt paid me yet and the website is still showing last weeks payslip as my most recent one so thats todays vibe
#its never been this late in the day before so my anxiety is a little uh#i also havent gotten an email that sick leave was entered when i left early one day last week and i can't enter sick leave myself#and im just 🧍🏻♂️#where is my money. i would like it pls#i need my Routine#and in my routine i am grocery shopping right now but i have $5 in my bank and my credit card is $8 overdrawn lmao#this is not a post asking u guys for money btw#unless of course one of u is controlling my works pay department in which case give me my money#love being an anxious person bc the timing has fluctuated in the past (between 11am-1:40pm)#and its now 1:43pm and my brain is just 'rent is due in 2 days what am i gonna do' like babe#breathe a little#its literally like 10 mins after im used to being paid and my brain is running the doomsday protocol#like idk maybe give it some time. maybe act natural
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oh thank god my refund was approved
#gonna stock the fuck up on groceries and will have money to buy merch at the show im going to on the 21st :3#but most importantly its one step closer to getting a motorbike and living out my wandering dyke dreams
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