#its crazy to think that none of this was portrayed in the books due to them being from harrys pov

[arinnandout]

i was rewatching the half-blood prince the other day and, god, the decision to put in the caged bird imagery for draco was such a masterful one. having draco take the bird from its cage and use it to test the cabinet as an allegory for himself stuck in his current pointless situation AND THEN the bird dying due to his actions, symbolizing the blood he'll have on his hands and the loss of innocence and naiveté. it's simply chef's kiss.

[cheesomaru]

To the whole thing about Mary Sues, I just quickly looked it up and gathered definitions.

This one article really goes into depth, telling both sides of a Mary Sue. I skimmed over it and it basically said what the definitions below will say. However, I’ll leave the link to anyone who wants to read it.

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MarySue

Moving on, here are several definitions from different users that explain what a Mary Sue and its’ male counterpart is.

Looking at this, yes, Towa does fit some (even if it’s loosely) criteria of what is a Mary Sue.

But realize that multiple times, the show has pointed out Towa’s various flaws as well.

• Towa being naive.

1. Giving Riku the pearl

2. Relating Homaru’s obsession with addiction to a cellphone

3. Trusting Riku after he gave her the sword that got her captured by the Shogun.

Note: Albeit, all the girls are 14 so they are allowed to be naive since they have room to grow (which may be what season 2 shows). Yes there was barely any character growth in season 1, but we can’t say there won’t be any in season 2 to completely say this part is 100% true.

• The battles

1. Towa may have defeated Kyuki, but she never killed her. Riku was actually the one to kill Kyuki.

Note: This happens because either Towa is too kind, or still hasn’t been able to master her powers. The show has also repeated Towa being too kind in the Feudal Era is a flaw that she should correct, quickly.

2. In every fight, Towa isn’t the only one to attack an enemy. And/or defeat them in one blow. Normally all the girls attack said enemy together to find its weakness, and using their wit find a way to kill them. I will agree though, Towa is typically the one who deals the final blow (minus some cases; Kyuki, Yotsume, Homura, the Pond Demon, etc.)

3. When fighting Kirinmaru for the first time, none of the girls managed to do anything. They were all beaten down, (Towa only managing to scratch Kirinmaru’s face after she got pissed) not being able to defeat him. Sesshomaru was the one to step in and stop the battle.

Note: One of the criteria for a Mary Sue is that she gains mastery of her powers within a short time. And she is able to defeat the op characters of the series with little to no effort. That’s not the case here. But yes, there are instances were Towa can easily manage to do something that Setsuna or Moroha may have taken years to learn (absorb demon energy, manifest her demon energy, use her demon energy to bind, etc.) Another thing, Towa can’t use her dog demon abilities, such as sniffing like Setsuna or Moroha can, right away. Overtime she does learn how to (ep. 1 she’s only able to sniff out Mei because she cries; after ep. 3/4 in the Feudal Era, Towa isn’t able to detect demons because she doesn’t know how; ep. 18 is when Towa learns how to sniff out demon energy (wind scar type of situation)).

4. In the second fight against Kirinmaru (ep. 24), not only is Towa able to go full demon, so is Moroha. There’s a double standard here if you’re judging one character and not the other.

Note: (Speculation) This could be explained because of where the battle took place. In the previous ep. we saw Moroha do an attack only for Toga’s ashes/dirt negate it. It could also work by calming the girls’ demon blood.

Now I’ll move on to some of the other traits a Mary Sue is suppose to have.

• Connections

Here is where it gets a bit iffy since it can go both ways. But let’s start with the definition of unconditional love. It’s defined “as affection without any limitations, or love without conditions.”

1. The Higurashi family would obviously love Towa since they raised her, or grew up with her in Mei’s case.

2. Setsuna didn’t like Towa at the start; she even tried to kill her (ep. 2). Only with time did their relationship grow.

3. Kirinmaru is, in my opinion, neither here or there. He is portrayed as the villain but it’s complicated since he doesn’t act as hostile as the other villains of the show towards the girls or Towa. After ep. 24, he seems like a crazy uncle trying to teach the girls a lesson. And that’s plural, as in girls. Not just Towa.

4. OG cast. Even if the interactions with them are limited, Towa doesn’t receive unconditional love or anything from them the very second they meet. Every character is just nice and polite, as even one of us would be with a stranger. Heck, Inukimi whether she likes the girls or not doesn’t show it and specifically said “I don’t care about them.” So many antis cheered about this and made memes (ep. 23).

5. Riku was portrayed as a mysterious, sort of villain-like character throughout most of the season. He approached Towa out of curiousity and maybe evil intentions. But after talking with her, he was left curious. Towa just piqued his interest. Only after whatever episode it was did Riku express he liked Towa (be it later platonic or romantic).

6. The Reiwa Era bullies can definitely be painted as enemies as they harmed Towa and tried to hurt her family. But that doesn’t necessary portray them as evil in books (since evil is more wicked), as they are just bullies due to their own insecurities. Either way, this is a type of connection so I’m listing it.

7. Zero and the Perils are portrayed as evil, yes. Because they are the various enemies/villains of the story. If we didn’t have them, there would be no story. But with the Perils, not all of them wanted to kill the girls right away just for being Sesshomaru/Inuyasha’s daughters. They just wanted to kill the girls, because they stood in their way. Konton was just lounging, enjoying his view until the girls came to kick him out. Totetsu was eating monks, the girls just stepped in to protect Hisui’s father. Both Konton and Totetsu stated they didn’t even know who the girls were.

Note 1: Don’t anyone start with the comment “that would have been for the best.” What’s done is done. You can give your opinions and views, but that’s not going to erase Yashahime from the internet.

Note 2: Out of the Perils, Kyuki was the only one who tried to kill the girls off the bat. Tokotsu is unknown since we never saw that first battle between him and Moroha.

Now this one isn’t mentioned all the time in every definition, but it does pop up at times. And that is the.....

• Tragic backstory from either abuse, abandonment, or etc.

Towa has none of that. Her only backstory is being separated from her sister. I’m sorry, but that’s not even tragic due to her having the Higurashi family accept and take care of her right away. She wasn’t even negatively affected mentally, emotionally, or physically by this.

Now this is getting rather long so I’ll stop it here. But all in all, Towa is not 100% a Mary Sue.

But if anyone wants to keep saying it that, go ahead and by all means counter this. Please provide examples to since that would definitely help make the Mary Sue case.

Either way, thanks for taking the time to read as it got particularly long ^^”.

Wow!  I hope that Mary Sue!anon sees this, because I am not very well qualified in laying it all out like this! I think if Mary Sue!anon wants to reply, its best they do so on your blog.

I agree I don’t think Towa is a Mary Sue either. She has a lot of battle shonen protagonist traits for sure!

[thefamilycryptid]

Analyzing Miraculous Ladybug, Episode 1: An Analysis of the Love Square

My friends on discord found out I like analyzing people as both a way to ensure people cant hurt me and as a way to figure out what kind of gift they would like, so they asked me to analyze some of the things in the Miraculous Ladybug Series no clue how many parts of this I’ll do so submit me asks and I’ll work on them :D

@username8746489 asked me my opinion on the Love Square, more specifically if I thought it was healthy or not.

The short version of my answer would be no, I do not believe the Love Square - as the show portrays it - is a healthy relationship. Now I see you Adrinette stans about to reblog this claiming ‘its true love’ but think about it like this; yes they have the possibility to be an amazing ass-kicking couple but their writing is horrid. Lets dissect them individually so we can comprehend how their relationship would function in reality.

Marinette is a canonical stalker, we witness with several times, from Marinette breaking into Adrien’s household (that most likely has a high security system due to the Agreste’s influence) on several occasions.

And instead of intervening and stopping her “bff’s” toxic behavior so she doesn't get arrested later in life Alya enables her behavior and offers her more ideas on how to get with the person she’s ‘meant to be with’. 

As mentioned before she broke into Adrien's house and even went through his locker to steal his phone over nothing more than an embarrassing voice message. She also harassed Kagami because she liked Adrien, and caused her akumatization after calling a fencing match (keep in mind the fact that this is Mari’s first day doing fencing and she barely know’s the rules) in her crushes favor even thought it was obviously a tie. 

She also constantly berates Chat Noir, who - as we already know - is Adrien, if you cannot love all aspects of someone, even the messy and  chaotic sides then you should not be in a relationship. Now this can be justified by the fact that Marinette doesn’t know Adrien is Chat Noir, but it is also no excuse for the way she treats he partner, constantly berating him for every little mistake he makes and treating him like a tasteless sidekick. I get that this is a show about girl power but Ladybug and Chat Noir are supposed to be equals to keep the Creation and Chaos thing in balance right?

And then there is the thing with the pictures, I would understand having one or two pictures of your crush (or maybe more if you are close friends and have taken several photo’s together) but none of the ones in her room are actual photo’s of him, they’re just cut outs from magazine covers Adrien is the center piece of. This isn't anything outright criminal, but it is very odd that instead of making more personal photo’s of him to hang up (maybe them having fun or on a hang out with friends) she chooses to hang up photos of him in his ‘actor mask’.

Now the photo’s are a bit odd but nothing crazy, but what is crazy is the fact she has his whole fucking schedule in her room, like first of all where the fuck did she get it, follow up question why the fuck does she have it. This is extremely alarming and could possibly lead to a court case in reality if someone (like Gabriel or Natalie) were to learn of its existence, Marinette would have a permanent black spot on her record if she didn’t end up being sued (or maybe even arrested) for her actions.

I could bring up plenty more points here such as when she dug through his trash and responded to a poem he had disposed of (then broke into his house to deliver), how she cant even hold a proper conversation with him without foaming from the mouth (something she admits to during the ‘steal Adrien’s phone’ moment), how everything she knows about him most likely comes from A. stalking B. the internet/gossip magazines or C. Alya telling her, how she told Alya to stop taking photos of Adrien unless she sent them to her, and that she confessed her love to him on the anniversary of the day his mother went missing.

But thats enough about Marinette lets move onto Adrien.

Now Adrien has a bit more of an excuse for his less than ideal behavior, he was isolated his whole life and the few relationships he did witness (Chloe and His's Parents) were probably not the best seeing as Gabriel has a tenancy to neglect his child in favor of work it wouldn’t be too surprising if we learned that he neglected his wife as well which was why her condition worsened until she was unsavable and the fact that Aubrey cannot remember her own daughter’s name.

He probably grew up watching rom-coms where the lead love interest bullied/blackmailed/harassed the girl into a relationship and they got married in the end and everything was always ok with no repercussions for their behavior.

Plus Gabriel looks like the type to give the 'its legal if you dont get caught' advice for all the wrong reasons, that accompanied by Chloe ( and later Lila) constantly draping themselves over him like fucking skin shawls, leads to this kid probably having no clue what consent is. 

So far he hasn't done anything too drastic for me to fully pull apart and wack with a stick minus the over-the-top flirting, but a lot of boys his age flirt so thats fine so as long as he doesn't touch Ladybug in a non-consensual way he's mostly ok in my book. 

All-in-all they would be 100% better people if A) They were with other people B) They seek help for their issues or C) They spoke to one another like normal people, until this is shown in the show I deem it a toxic ship.

(Note: Before you come on my case about there being less for Adrien, please keep in mind that Marinette is the main character of this series not him so of course there would be more to dissect about her. We are walked through her daily life, so we see every misdeed and every creepy stalker-ish moment, while we only see Adrien without her a few times, almost all of which are him transforming, or doing something that with offer a chance for Mari to shoot her shot. Please also keep in mind that this isn’t my entire opinion on the matter, I love the characters but I hate their writing, I also encourage to formulate your own opinions on the matter.)

(note for people who may want to ask for analysis’s, please remember I am just a human and I’m not 100% used to typing out whole paragraphs on fictional stuff and my brain tends to wander a lot, this was written during my ‘big brain hours’ sorry if your request isn’t as well done as you would like it to be)

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #490

Top Ten Female Superheroes in the Movies

I feel like female superheroes – and I'm stretching the definition to include those who aren't consistently out-and-out heroic – are finally, belatedly, starting to get something approaching their due. Already this year we've had two Disney+ shows that had very prominent leading roles for female supers (I'd argue very strongly that Sylvie becomes a co-lead), and on the DC side there's still Supergirl and Batwoman. At the pictures, however, women in capes have historically suffered; if a film had a female lead, any poor performance at the box office was seemingly blamed on gender rather than, y’know, the film being crap. Fortunately the last few years have seen this trend starting to be reversed; Wonder Woman, Captain Marvel, Birds of Prey, and the recently-released Black Widow have all showcased super-powered female leads and been (for the most part) big successes too.

So, anyway, inspired in large part by the fact I’ve watched both Wonder Woman and Black Widow this week – and with an eye on future female-focused flicks too – this week is dedicated to my favourite filmic femmes (hmmm, there might be such a thing as too much alliteration. I need an avalanche of Advil…). I’ve tried to be pretty strict here and only use movie superheroes – although I’ve stretched that to its limit, as you’ll see. And, like I said before, I’m allowing “anti-heroes” – hey, I had a whole list about them last week, might as well double down! And I know what you’re thinking – surely, in over nine years of making stupid lists on a weekend, I’d have done this before. But no, I checked, and apparently I haven’t. Really I should have scraped the bottom of this particular barrel by now, but fortunately not!

There’s not much more to say at the moment really. Here are my ten favourite female superhero-type characters from the movies. I’m tempted to make some kind of terrible, cheesy reference to “girl power”, or end with a “you go, girl”, or something like that – but let’s face it, that’s a really, really bad, hackneyed idea. Let’s just get on with the list instead.

Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot, DCEU, from 2016): there can be only one! Yeah, still the best female superhero on the silver screen in my book. Gadot gives her the perfect blend of steely determinism and wide-eyed naivete; full of faith and righteousness, but also a fierce fighter. It’s clear from the moment she blasts, fully-formed, into Batman Versus Superman Colon Dawn of Justice that Gadot was born for this role, encompassing every aspect of Diana – the princess, the warrior, the ambassador, the goddess. Like Superman all those years ago, her solo film is equal parts optimism and pragmatism, and (despite the dodgy finale) it remains a wonder. Sorry.

Raven (Tara Strong, Teen Titans Go! To the Movies, 2018): here I go, cheating already. Yes, Raven is mostly from a TV show and I’ve decided this is a list of movie characters. But she is in a movie! And she’s the main character and focus of the straight-to-DVD sequel, Teen Titans Go! vs. Teen Titans. So yes, whilst her sole cinematic outing doesn’t really show her off to the greatest degree, she’s still amazing. A deadpan, dark-tinged comedic tour-de-force from voice veteran Strong, Raven is profoundly hilarious, one of the all-time great sarcastic pieces of comic relief. And, whilst we’re talking about the DVD sequel, Strong does a terrific job differentiating between the sillier, looser Go! version of the character, and the more sombre and serious OTT animated Titan.

Laura (Dafne Keen, Logan, 2017): otherwise known, in the comics at least, as both X-23 and, latterly, Wolverine. Laura is a frankly outstanding performance by a child actor. Steely, determined, pissed-off, wounded, proud, but still coming across as a child and not at all precocious or precious. And then there’s her physicality; she storms through the screen, a whirling dervish, leaping around and, frankly, slashing the shit out of everybody. She holds her own against the nuclear charisma explosion that is Hugh Jackman, and against the titanic chops of Sir Patrick of Stewart, and brings a huge amount of heart and pathos to one of the best superhero films of all time.

Catwoman (Michelle Pfeiffer, Batman Returns, 1992): yeah, okay, she’s not really a superhero. But Pfeiffer’s performance is phenomenal; one part sheer unadulterated sex appeal, one part wronged woman seeking revenge, one part utter batshit craziness (no pun intended). She created interesting layers of manic craziness to a character already a good fifty years old at that point, informing the portrayal of the character in comics and cartoons, and her chemistry with Keaton’s Batman lights up the screen. And, frankly, she was so damn sexy that she gave puberty to an entire generation.

Rogue (Anna Paquin, X-Men movies, 2000-2014): presenting Rogue in the first X-Men as a younger character, without her stolen Captain Marvel powers, was a masterstroke; making her the audience surrogate as a way to introduce the X-Men themselves and Logan in particular, giving the latter character one of his comic-book trademark young female proteges. Paquin does a tremendous job giving her an inner strength despite her heartbreaking power, and although she fades from prominence as the (increasingly bonkers) series progresses, she continues to give it everything she’s got, even if the films don’t do her sufficient justice. An excellent portrayal, sadly cut short.

Elastigirl (Holly Hunter, Incredibles movies, 2004-2018): ah, our first non-comic book character! Hunter is brilliant in this role, presenting Elastigirl as a feminist icon even as she’s forced into an increasingly domestic role. Despite the risk of her being portrayed as a shrill nagging housewife, stomping on Mr. Incredible’s fun, Hunter (and the script, to be fair) walks a fine line, and we as viewers are actually on her side as her husband takes foolish risks. And then, when the action kicks in, she’s amazing – full credit to director Brad Bird and the animators and Pixar. The sequel, which is mostly more of the same but still pretty great, gives her even more lovely character beats.

Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson, MCU, 2010-2021): I’ve given it an end date but let’s face it, none of us will be surprised if she turns out not be dead. The first real female superhero we see in the MCU is still the most important and effective. Johansson does a great job fleshing out Natasha, overcoming the cheesy nature of her debut in Iron Man 2 and some of the problematic wrinkles given to her in Age of Ultron. Over the series of films, she is a consistent action superstar, but also gives us interesting layers and wrinkles and depth, evolving from the badass assassin we first see to the hard-bitten leader in Endgame. Her belated solo film gives her some great opportunities to correct those early missteps, as well as deepening the character even further, and showcasing her action chops. A great character, but it would be nice if we knew there was even more to come.

Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie, DCEU, from 2016): another DC not-quite-hero, Robbie does a phenomenal job as Harley Quinn, one of those lightning-in-a-bottle perfect pieces of casting (and, I’ll be honest, the only other actor/character match-up that’s quite as perfect on this list is Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman). Harley is a character who can be so easily misused: the abused moll, the bit of eye candy, an objectivised woman denied agency who’s only seen through the lenses of the men. And, true enough, there’s a bit of that in her debut in Suicide Squad, but Robbie is smart enough and her performance strong enough that she transcends the muck that surrounds her. She nails the accent and the demeanour, and in what we shall choose to call her solo film, she gives us a raucous, hilarious performance as an emancipated Quinn, blasting through police stations with glitterball shotguns and snapping limbs left right and centre. It’s the anarchic anti-hero of modern comics turned up to 11 and with the pottiest of mouths, but she’s also smart enough and skilled enough to give us embers of a conscience beneath the crazy, and offers up some great character beats and a believable relationship with Cassandra Cain. I can’t wait to see what she does next.

Scarlet Witch (Elizabeth Olsen, MCU, from 2015): Here we have another performance that matures and develops over the course of a franchise – surely one of the greatest aspects of Marvel’s multi-film narrative arc. Coming in as a minor villain in Age of Ultron, Wanda is powerful enough to temporarily get the better of the Avengers just by being “weird”; subsequent films see her attempting to be a hero, suffering a series of tragedies, falling in love, and coming together to save the world in Endgame. In what amounts to a series of snapshots – a photo montage of ongoing character development – Olsen is able to flesh out Wanda, giving her depth, showcasing different facets of her character, and making her consistently believable. Yes, I know I said this was a list of movie characters, but it’s stupid not to own up to the fact that this all comes to a head in the frankly phenomenal WandaVision, which – despite having two Avengers’ names in the title – is really all about her. The series leaves Wanda in a totally different place, and as we see her next in The Multiverse of Madness, I feel like her story is only just beginning.

Jean Grey (Famke Janssen, X-Men films, 2000-2017): I mulled over whether to include Jean Grey here or Valkyrie from Thor, but despite Tessa Thompson’s terrific performance, I’ve gotta go with the Phoenix. Back when superhero films weren’t a cinematic religion, Janssen gave a terrific performance as a resolute, thoroughly sensible Jean Grey; a telepathic Girl Friday to the officious know-it-all that was Professor X, she shows intriguing cracks in her façade when confronted with the gruff and unutterably sexy Logan. Clearly a powerhouse without needing to show off, she gets more development and some great hero moments in the phenomenal sequel, before being giving an epic sacrificial send-off that sets up a rise from the flames that never really comes. Yes, despite being brought back in The Last Stand, it’s a storyline that’s fudged from the start, and the Phoenix as a mopey emo version of Jean just doesn’t cut it. It’s a storyline that’s handled better, but only just, in Dark Phoenix, but that film sadly doesn’t have the weight of character behind it; despite the excellent work of Sophie Turner, we’re barely introduced to the character in Apocalypse before hints of the Phoenix are coming forth, and next thing we know she’s going all crackly and accidentally killing dudes. So yeah: I prefer the OG Jean, and Janssen’s great chemistry not just with James Marsden’s Scott but Jackman’s Logan really does justice to that element of the comic book character too. Still, two timelines, two actors, two versions of the Phoenix Saga, and it still ends in disappointment. Hopefully we’ll get a better version eventually in the MCU.

[orionsangel86]

Narrative Mirror Characters in Supernatural – An Overview for the Uninitiated.

Mirror characters have always been a classic story telling device. The purpose of a mirror character is to reflect on the main characters journey and emotional state and to provide lessons for the main character to learn. Mirror characters in TV and movies can also be used for foreshadowing purposes and encourage the audience to question the main characters path.

A famous example would be Frodo Baggins and his narrative mirror Gollum in The Lord of the Rings. Gollum is a dark mirror for Frodo in that he represents everything that Frodo could become if he succumbs to the power of the One Ring. Frodo’s present is Gollum’s past as Smeagol, and throughout the books Frodo becomes more and more aware of his fate as he grows closer to Gollum/Smeagol and makes the decision to try to save him as a reflection of his desire to save himself.

Narrative mirrors are everywhere and widely used in all forms of storytelling. To deny them, is to deny basic storytelling tropes. Sometimes the narrative mirrors are extremely, painfully obvious, and other times they are quite subtle and have only a very minor meaning in the greater story.

Supernatural is a series which has used narrative mirror characters quite extensively throughout its long history. It frequently uses mirror characters to provide an additional layer to the emotional journeys of its lead characters to encourage emotional growth. Supernatural also often uses mirror characters to highlight unspoken main character storylines which support subtextual themes as well as foreshadowing potential future plot outcomes.

Supernatural relies so heavily on its narrative character mirrors, that recently in episode 14x04 Mint Condition it gave its viewers a textual lesson on character mirrors straight from its lead characters mouths:

Gif Source: (x) 

DEAN (Pointing at Samantha): She’s like your twin.

[SAM pushes his hair back just as SAMANTHA does the same.]

SAM: What? What are you talking about?

DEAN: Soft, delicate features, luxurious hair. She’s like your wonder twin.

SAM: Yeah.

[A man, DIRK, is crouching in front of the comic book stands picking up comics. He has a lollipop in his mouth. SAM points to him.]

SAM: Well, okay, if that’s me then that’s you over there.

DEAN: That guy?

SAM: Yeah.

DEAN: Yeah, we have zero in common

(The scene then proceeds to show just how much Dean has in common with Dirk)

Following this fun scene, the episode continues to show how much Sam and Dean have in common with their mirror characters in many ways, including a moving moment between Dirk and Dean in which Dirk talks about how important his friend Stuart is to him. (Stuart who was first introduced in this episode wearing a tan trench coat similar to the classic coat worn by Castiel – Dean’s best friend).

From this blatantly obvious in-show commentary, we can infer how the Supernatural creators like to present their mirror characters and how we, the audience, can keep a look out for them. The key indicators are as follows:

Similar clothing - Character clothing choices are very important in this show. The brothers are almost always dressed in plaid and what Castiel would probably call “lumberjack chic”. Castiel always wears a tan trenchcoat, formal attire, white shirt, blue tie. His mirrors are pretty much the easiest to spot. Arguably any side character wearing a tan trenchcoat is a mirror for Castiel.

Siblings – Where side characters are siblings, they are mirrors for Sam and Dean.

Parent/Child pairs – Less common, but also often a comment on Sam and Dean’s dynamic, Dean being the parent to Sam.

Immortal characters with a sympathy to humanity – usually a Cas mirror.

Tastes/interests – Like with Dirk, if a side character appears who the main characters bond with over mutual interests, the chances are they are a mirror for the main character in question.

Storylines; depending on overarching season plots – less obvious, but sometimes the most interesting. Characters that appear in standalone episodes that have an emotional tie to the mytharc plot of the season usually serve to give lessons to the main characters. Those characters will stand in for the main characters when dealing with their own emotional turmoil, which will usually be similar in theme to the emotional turmoil that the main characters are going through. Consider Ed and Harry from 9x14’s #Thinman episode - such a blatantly obvious Winchester mirror that it should need no explaining here.

By taking all these various indicators into consideration when watching any episode of Supernatural, it becomes rather easy to spot the character mirrors and depending on the actions and plot purpose of those mirror characters, we can usually conclude their purpose and the connection to the overall mytharc, or in some cases character development plot.

I’m about to pull out some big examples so you can use those as templates to go forth and find the mirrors! But my main point in this post is to argue that meta writers aren’t pulling this stuff out of our asses. Character mirrors are a story telling technique that is used frequently and with clear author intent. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you are seeing things when you believe that characters are meant to be mirrors. It is far more likely that they ARE intended mirrors than not.

I recently came across these tweets on Twitter:

Mark Harris is a former Entertainment Weekly executive editor and author of several books on Hollywood and the film industry.

Brian Koppelman is the co-creator and showrunner of the TV show “Billions” and has worked in the TV and Film industries for over two decades.

I would hazard a guess that both of these individuals have a greater authority on the inner workings of TV show production than YOU or I or anyone else in this fandom about to scream those immortal and highly ridiculous words “yOu ArE rEaDiNg InTo ThInGs!”

But by all means, if you are going to disregard my post as nothing more than a “crazy” fan trying to claim author intent where there is none, perhaps you could first take a look below the cut, because these mirror characters in SPN are hardly coincidence, and the general motto to run by is that if some characters are definitely mirrors, then the chances are that wherever you THINK you see a character mirror, and it makes logical sense, the INTENT was for you to see a character mirror all along. 

So therefore, never disregard a fan interpretation of a narrative character mirror when they see one. 

If you do, you are going to look like a huge jackass.

Please keep reading for glaringly obvious Destiel character mirrors along with some nice brother character mirrors for comparison. We ain’t kidding around folks.

First of all, lets consider some examples where Supernatural has used narrative mirror characters specifically to highlight Sam and Dean’s emotional growth.

A recent and very obvious example is from 14x12.

The brothers interview Eddie, the twin brother of a murdered man in a case they are investigating. Eddie is distraught by his brother’s murder, and he says the following:

“I can’t believe he’s gone. We were close. Best friends. Alan always said he was my big brother, ‘cause he was born first. By, like, four minutes. Losing him is like losing a part of myself. I never knew it could be this bad.”

In this situation, Eddie is a clear Sam mirror character, because his emotional response to his brother Alan’s death is exactly what Sam’s would be if he were to lose Dean. Dean, in this scenario, is the one learning the lesson. He is having to witness through a character mirror the pain that Sam would go through upon Dean’s suicide. This reflects the current mytharc plot in which Dean has chosen a suicide mission of locking himself away with the archangel Michael in order to prevent Michael’s escape.

This is a simple mirror which specifically relates to the theme of the episode. However, other character mirrors have a wider lesson in mind. Another recent episode that used character mirrors for the brothers was 13x12 Various and Sundry Villains.

In this episode, the brothers come up against a pair of villainous witch sisters. The sisters are determined to bring their mother back from the dead and will stop at nothing to succeed. The sisters are dark Winchester mirrors in that they symbolise the lengths the brothers will go to in order to save themselves and their family – putting their own goals above the safety of the world. This episode took place during a season 13 mytharc plot in which the Winchesters own mother Mary was trapped in an apocalyptic universe and the Winchesters were looking for a way to save her (and Jack) regardless of warnings from Death herself that no good would come from jumping universes.

It was also a wider commentary on the Winchesters own toxic co-dependency – a theme that has been running within the subtext of the show since Season 8 which portrays the brothers co-dependent relationship as a negative force in their universe and something that they need to break free of – a theme which has been building quite nicely in these later seasons.

The episode 13x12 ends with the witch sisters horrifically murdering each other whilst under a spell in a scene which symbolically shows just what could happen to the Winchester boys if they don’t free each other from their own toxic relationship.

This was a prime example of character mirrors have a deeper message in terms of their relation to the main characters and their overall character journeys on the show.

Sam and Dean have had mirror characters established in the show since the early seasons. One obvious example was in 1x18 Something Wicked This Way Comes which prominently features a young boy called Michael who feels responsible for his little brother Asher. Michael is an obvious Dean mirror used to emphasise Dean’s loss of innocence at a young age due to the boy’s early introduction to monsters by their father.

Many of the early season character mirrors were used to provide backstory for Sam and Dean such as this one, or to provide dark foreshadowing (like used with Frodo and Gollum) for Sam particularly with the “Special Children” throughout seasons 1 and 2.

In the later seasons, character mirrors are more likely to be used to either provide Sam and Dean with emotional lessons, or highlight their co-dependency as a negative force.

See, its quite simple so far right? Would you actually deny that these characters were Winchester mirrors? You can possibly argue with my interpretation, but you can’t really argue against the mirrors themselves, that much is obvious.

Now is where it gets interesting. Because whilst you may have no problem seeing mirror characters for Sam and Dean in the show, would you feel the same way if I was to present you with an EVEN LARGER mountain of evidence for mirror characters for Dean and Cas? 

Another frequent use of character mirrors within the show in the later seasons is to highlight a potential romantic partnership between Dean and Castiel. This is a controversial opinion and one many viewers of the show either ignore or adamantly deny. However, arguably you can’t pick and choose your meta in this show. If you agree with one set of thematic mirrors, you must surely admit to the same filming techniques being used elsewhere. If mirrors exist between Sam and Dean, they must also exist between Dean and Cas, and sometimes those mirrors are just as blatantly obvious, if not more so.

One prominent example (and probably the most obvious) comes from episode 9x20. Written by the current showrunner Andrew Dabb, this episode was an attempt at a spin off show with a completely new set of characters. One part of this episode included a love story between monster characters David and Violet.

Please refer to this post: http://bluestar86.tumblr.com/post/178577156431/i-cant-recall-where-but-i-read-somewhere-that-a for further detail about this character mirror. Because it’s so obvious its laughable.

The basic mirror is that David is Dean. He is the son of a powerful monster family in Chicago who is pulled back into the war when his brother Sal is murdered. “David” = Dean, “Sal” = Sam. Get it? That’s one clear mirror. The back story alone is obvious enough.

Violet is the daughter of another powerful monster family, one that is actively antagonising the others and supports the war. She spends most of the episode wearing this:

Violet is clearly our Castiel mirror. A daughter of a troublesome monster family that wants to start war, but who tries to prevent that because of her love for one of the other families sons? Its Romeo and Juliet but it is also very Dean and Cas.

The turbulent relationship between David and Violet is told using lines previously spoken between Dean and Cas word for word, but in an obviously romantic way (because heterosexual romance is irritatingly obvious even when using lines previously given to “just bros”). Seriously, go read the linked post and just TRY to deny this mirror.

One of the more recent obvious DeanCas mirrors in the show comes from season 14 between Mary Winchester and AU!Bobby. In the episode immediately following 14x04’s lesson in recognising mirror characters in Supernatural Mary and Bobby show up to put our mirror recognition to the test.

Mary has been used as a mirror character for Castiel and vice versa since she was reintroduced to the show in season 12. In terms of the key indicators, she has often been seen wearing a tan trenchcoat, or a general tan coat with white and blue clothing (her clothing is often coded for Castiel) as well as her emotional journey being tied to his in her struggle to find belonging among her family.

AU!Bobby is a Dean mirror. His story very closely compares to many of Dean’s storylines over the years, including Purgatory and being traumatised by the loss of his son (a canonical fact being that both Sam and Dean acknowledge that Dean raised Sam and was practically his only parental figure).

The romance between him and Mary is still pretty much completely subtextual, and yet people still acknowledge its existence. It has been shown through longing looks and conversations with the brothers where Mary voices her frustrations at her inability to break through the supposed communication barriers between her and Bobby (an interesting storyline which compares extremely closely with season 13’s long running miscommunication theme for Dean and Cas.)

Bobby and Mary’s current story reflects Dean and Cas’s especially in Mary’s frustrations to get Bobby to open up to her about his troubled past. There is an underlying message here which indicates Castiel’s own frustrations at Dean for not being more open and honest with him (again this was shown far more subtly as recently as 14x12 in how Dean keeps things from Cas because they are far too painful for him to address). This mirror is practically undeniable, just like David and Violet. Yet both are romantic. 

The other glaringly obvious het character mirror pairing for Dean and Cas was Cain and Colette in seasons 9 and 10. Just because the story didn’t resolve itself, doesn’t mean the mirror wasn’t intended and specifically catered for Dean and Cas from the start.

Cain and Colette is a HUGE example of a mirror that was practically textually confirmed (and was actually confirmed by Jared Padalecki at a convention).

(x)

In fact, arguably 10x14 called for the audience to notice character mirrors before 14x04 did! Cain constantly reiterated that he was a Dean mirror TEXTUALLY. He told Dean that Sam was his Abel. He very clearly stated how Dean would live his life in reverse - Cain killed Abel first, then he unwillingly killed his wife Colette, before finally giving in and killing his demonic kin - the knights of hell.

He told Dean he would first kill Crowley - his own demonic kin in a sense, then he would kill Castiel - Deans... partner? Before finally killing Sam. How can I make this any clearer? Oh yeah. This:

In fact just got take a look at the source post for those gifs to see all the other ways Cas is a mirror for Colette and watch me laugh at anyone still trying to deny this: http://casclaire.tumblr.com/post/119456988024/and-everyone-you-know-everyone-you-love-they

Those were the het pairings (among many others) but Dean and Cas have also been mirrored to practically every other queer pairing in the show save one (and that was played purely for jokes for W*ncest fans). 

Now the importance of queer representation is something we frequently discuss in fandom. So before some asshat decides to pipe up and accuse me I’ll just add a nice little disclaimer so said asshat can shut the hell up:

Theorising that queer pairings in Supernatural may also be mirror pairings for Destiel does not diminish the pairing or the representation in its own right. To claim it does so is utter bullshit. The pairing is still awesome and should be celebrated because hey! It’s on the show isn’t it? It’s out in the open as a canon queer pairing! YAY for US! Speculating that it could also be a Destiel mirror pairing only ADDS to the awesomeness. It does NOT diminish it in any way...

Unless you hate Destiel of course in which case... well:

So now we’ve got that out of the way:

Several of our best queer pairings in SPN over the years can also reflect Destiel and their relationship.

Charlie and Gilda is a prime example:

Gilda appears in episode 8x11 as a fairy from another realm who has been taken prisoner and forced via magic to do horrible things against her nature by a bad guy. Charlie is able to free her from her “masters” spell.

Sound familiar?

It should do, because this is basically Castiel’s story in season 8. He is brainwashed by Naomi to do bad things against his nature which culminates in Dean managing to break through to him by declaring how much he “needs” him. Isn’t it all so marvelously gay?

How about this awesome gay couple:

(x)

Honestly I could wax poetic about this episode for a thousand years, but I will just stress this: Anyone who tries to suggest that the mirror here is for Sam and Dean is clearly missing the fact that the entire point of this episode was about a BROTHER getting revenge for and mourning the loss of his BROTHER. So the Brother mirror is already well established at the start of the episode. 

But Cesar? Cesar is all Cas. He’s the “foreigner” supporting his partners revenge quest regardless of his own desires. Hell, even their names are similar. Besides, their entire relationship was a lesson for the audience in how to recognise body language. All those shoulder squeezes and longing stares? Destiel was all over Jesse and Cesar. I have no doubt in that.

But if that didn’t swing it for you how about this lovely canon pairing?

(x)

The fandom coined “DreamHunter” pairing between Claire Novak and Kaia Nieves was built completely on famous Destiel moments. Longing looks, pledges of protection, “I’ll go with you”, saving each other, trying to go back for each other, mourning the others death… Dreamhunter was also still completely subtextual until recently when Jody Mills stated “First love strikes quick” a simple sentence, and it was confirmed as canon in the show. 

Here’s a handy post of how dreamhunter was built on a Destiel framework:

http://bluestar86.tumblr.com/post/179549508598/tinkdw-first-love-strikes-quick-to-lose-it

Other than these obvious pairings above, there are literally hundreds of character mirrors used throughout the show’s 300 episode run so far which are put in place by the writers and the crew specifically to indicate some deeper meaning to the overall lead character emotional arcs. This has been common and frequent in the show throughout its long history. The above examples are just the most obvious ones related to either Sam and Dean or Dean and Cas.  Almost every episode of this show includes character mirrors in some way or another. Character mirrors specifically linking to Dean and Cas have been particularly frequent throughout Carver and Dabb era (practically every episode in season 8 had a tragic human x immortal creature love story for example).

So for ANYONE to argue that we are seeing mirrors where they don’t exist? Well, those people are straight up wrong. I don’t care who they are, or whether they have some status within fandom or if they are just some asshole on the internet, unless the denial of character mirrors is coming from the writers or the directors of the episodes, they are wrong.

Which leads me nicely to this:

My reason for writing this long meta post was because of this. Simple enough right? We got three kids in 14x13. One is a tall nerdy boy who just seems to radiate with the same aura as Colin Morgan’s young Sam Winchester. One is a fiery young lady called Max, who wears a plaid jacket and has a shy crush on her friend - she also gets behind the seat of the Impala at one point as if that wasn’t obvious enough. The other girl Stacy we don’t know much about, other than that she is quiet, pretty, with dark hair and clearly the object of Max’s affections.

When I first watched this episode with @tinkdw​ and this scene came up we both didn’t even have to think about it. It was so clear to us. Nice one SPN, we see what you did there. The framing, the characters personalities, the coded clothing... there wasn’t a doubt between us that this was framed intentionally, and in a scene literally moments before Cas comes home to his family.

It was supposed to be simple, no big deal. Yet another Destiel mirror among the mountain of Destiel mirrors the show has already given us. Its not even anywhere near as impactful as one of the character mirror pairings previously mentioned in this post. Yet it was enough to cause such a huge wank storm on Twitter and have BNF accounts start a parade of abuse and blame towards meta writers for even DARING to consider that Destiel mirrors may exist AT ALL in this show, let alone with author intent!

Colour me effing surprised.

If ANYONE tries to tell ANY Destiel shipper that they don’t have a right to see character mirrors in the show, to believe that there is author intent, to SHAME them for seeing those mirrors in queer pairings specifically. You go right ahead and block those people. Because their opinions are their own no matter how much they may scream like they have some kind of authority. They don’t. 

No one has any authority over the way you interpret the media you enjoy. Even me.

Don’t forget that. 

So my point on this post was basically to say this.

You go right ahead and keep looking for character mirrors in SPN, because they have been intentionally included in the show since its humble beginnings.  Destiel mirrors are a huge part of that. You are NOT wrong for seeing them. 

Max and Stacy in 14x13 were just the latest in a long line of Destiel specific character mirrors in a show renowned for using character mirrors to the point that it has textually given its audience A. Lesson. In. How. To. Spot. Character. Mirrors. 

I am not making this shit up.

At the end of the day, by believing the mirrors are intentional, and what makes this post controversial, is that it means I am telling you that TPTB are intentionally providing us with romantic Destiel subtext.

Well, that is exactly what I am saying. Because they are. There is no doubt about this. You don’t fill your show to the brim with romantic tropes, romantic character mirrors and an underlying romantic narrative C plot for at least 4 seasons without having some intentional desire to potentially make this thing an actual thing. 

You just DON’T. 

The writers know what the hell they are doing. They want to keep Destiel an option for endgame, so they keep it going throughout the show. Whether or not they eventually make it textual to a point that a general audience can’t deny its existence is another story, because that’s the kind of thing that need a green light from the CW suits. 

But the writers, the creators of the show, everyone involved to an extent, they all know what they are doing. Anyone who at this stage would deny author intent regarding Destiel loses all my respect because frankly its insulting to the creators themselves. No one is so idiotic that they would make something look unintentionally romantic for 10 years.

The mirrors are real. Destiel is real. The creators of SPN continue to include it so they can keep it an option for endgame because (and this is the part I don’t know for sure but can at least guess because I don’t consider the entire writing team to be asshole queerbaiters) they want to make it canon as much as we want it to be canon.

Whether they actually CAN or not is the issue at this point. The debate on whether or not we “are reading into things” has been null and void since season 12. It was practically null and void since season 8 TBH.

So keep looking out for the Destiel mirrors (and the Sam and Dean mirrors and any other character mirrors you may pick up on) and you go right ahead and post and speculate and tweet and blog and do whatever the hell you want to do to voice your opinion on the topic because NO ONE has the right to police what you see in the show - especially when it has already been proven to be clearly intentional on the part of the creative team.

Finally I will leave you with this humble message from our “overlord” in case my post hasn’t already swayed you away from negative thinking and believing the deniers:

Thanks for reading. :)

[mobydickmusical]

Every book chapter a song is named after: Loomings (Ch 1)

Since most of the (most recent) tracklist is named after chapters of the book, I’m going to attempt to work through the whole of the show this way, talking a bit about my thoughts on each chapter’s translation into a song. Based on the tracklist chronology rather than the book chronology. Skipping the songs we’ve already heard, for obvious reasons.

Also fairly obvious, but even though I’m using the chapters to imagine the songs, I naturally can’t be sure how closely they’ll follow the text of that specific chapter (see, The Pacific, which actually follows completely different chapters). 

TW for brief mention of suicidal ideation 

Loomings is very different from Extracts, in that I can pretty easily envision it fitting into a show of Dave’s, and imagine what it might be like as a song.

This chapter is our first direct introduction to what to expect from the body of this book, and it has four-ish main sections: 

1. Ishmael introduces himself as the narrator recounting this story, and explains his general path in it (going to sea because it’s what he does when he’s exceedingly depressed) 

2. He dwells on mankind’s inevitable attraction to water, and that this is due to how it represents the unknowable to us 

3. He details his reasoning for why he always goes to sea as a simple sailor, as opposed to a passenger or a crew member of higher rank

4. He describes his ��choice” to go on a whaling voyage in particular as actually designated by fate. He does, however, then explain his personal attraction to going on the voyage, that could make it appear like free will to him. 

So, there is a lot being set up in this chapter. I can very much feel this becoming my main issue to accept (i.e. get my head out of my ass) with reconciling the adaptation with the book overall - there is so Much in Moby Dick and there is only so Much you can fit into a musical. Even a 4+ hour one. But yeah, that’s seen on a smaller scale with Loomings, in how it sets up a lot of background information about Ishmael and how he thinks, as well as starting some thought process about a number of important themes for the book (fate vs free will, capitalist and power dynamics, the limits of mankind’s knowledge… all that important shit). Where the song draws its focus from will just depend on what Dave chooses to emphasise the most. 

I'll go through the chapter, and mention where I connected things to either comments Dave's already made about the musical, or to his writing in general.

Coming into reading Moby Dick because I knew Dave was writing his musical, and reading the opening paragraph of Loomings where Ishmael introduces himself by launching headfirst into the details his depression, I naturally went straight to “so this is an introductory solo for a character played by Dave”. It’s not only something that leapt out at me straight off the bat, but one of the more ludicrously famous sections of Moby Dick, so I have to imagine it’s likely to make an appearance. 

The further thing I wanted to point out while I’m on this section, is that despite how famous this little piece of Moby Dick which clearly describes Ishmael’s depression and suicidal ideation is, the majority of Moby Dick adaptions have little to no other reference to his depression. Or they just have none at all if they’re really eschewing the narration. I’m not saying that it’s a deal-breaker for an adaption or anything of that kind, but mental illness definitely has a presence and impact in Moby Dick (I’ll just, leave it at that for now) that doesn’t especially get a lot of attention. On the other hand, it’s something that I, personally, will notice and think about. Anyone who’s familiar with Dave, however, knows that his shows almost consistently revolve around mentally ill characters (and what’s probably the most famous solo he’s written is about depression/suicidal ideation), and portray them in ways mentally ill fans relate to and appreciate. If an adaptor was to make a specific effort to earnestly portray Ishmael’s depression, and how that relates to his role in this story, it’d be Dave. (I could potentially even argue that The Pacific and Cetology already suggest ways in which he’s doing this but. Mm.)

But, anyway. I said Loomings is a good fit for that song that can be found in almost any Dave Malloy musical, where everything is just starting out, and someone (who is often played by Dave) sits down to pour out all their frantic thoughts and unstable feelings and draw you into their story - so, how I imagine the song is strongly based off the pre-existing examples of that type of song. Namely, I drift to Pierre and The Astronomer. 

Both songs have aspects I like for an imaginary Loomings. They’re both ruminative, emotive introductions to a character and their brain’s inner workings. They’re both at least somewhat depressed and ranty. I like Pierre for its emotional tumult, its inquisitiveness and desire for something more, its explicit descriptions of the effects of his depression on his behaviour, its moment of curiosity about mankind, and its drama. I feel like Pierre barging his way into his introductory solo, the first time we ever hear him sing about himself, with “It’s dawned to me suddenly, and for no obvious reason, that I can’t go on living as I am...” is not worlds away from how Ishmael can come across. I also like how it’s piano-driven (because I unimaginatively imagine Ishmael as a pianist in the show), unlike The Astronomer, but on the other hand, I prefer the less dense instrumentation of The Astronomer (maybe not quite that sparse though. Intermediate). I also like The Astronomer for its slow-paced style ranting, its dreaminess, its dwelling on Big Ideas, and the way it is more an explanation of who this character is through exploring his beliefs. Which is relevant as Loomings goes on. 

Both songs, particularly Pierre, channel more anger and resignation than is really relevant to Loomings, however. A part of this is that they’re both dwelling inside the emotions of an unhappy/unsatisfying present, describing that to us as who they are, now. Ishmael is outside of his present self because he’s a narrator. Throughout Loomings he is... recounting his past, but also describing the future of and influences on his past self, moreso than his past self’s present or who he was at that particular time. And, from that more distant position, opening these influences up to us, and the rest of the world. Uh. How relevant or sensible this is to point out I don’t know, but it seems like a very different emotional experience to convey. 

The second section of Loomings, where Ishmael discusses water, moves the furthest from talking directly about himself and his story, I suppose, but is a big bit of theme/motif/setting foundation, and is also just very beautiful writing. I love it a lot, and I’d love to hear some of it put to music... A few little quotes from it because I like them:

What do you see?—Posted like silent sentinels all around the town, stand thousands upon thousands of mortal men fixed in ocean reveries.

///

They come from lanes and alleys, streets and avenues,—north, east, south, and west. Yet here they all unite. Tell me, does the magnetic virtue of the needles of the compasses of all those ships attract them thither?

///

There is magic in it. Let the most absent-minded of men be plunged in his deepest reveries—stand that man on his legs, set his feet a-going, and he will infallibly lead you to water

///

Yes, as every one knows, meditation and water are wedded for ever.

///

But though the picture lies thus tranced, and though this pine-tree shakes down its sighs like leaves upon this shepherd's head, yet all were vain, unless the shepherd's eye were fixed upon the magic stream before him.

I also like the abundance of rhetorical questions in this section, and how that invites the reader in as if you were in a conversation. Those could fit well into a theatre song, where you have Ishmael sort asking himself, sort of asking the audience (also a bit Pierre, tbh). This, combined with how much switching up of sentence length there is in this section, give it this lovely gentle-paced, meandering, breathing rhythm that makes me think of it being sung. There’s probably a better, more technical way of describing that, but I don’t know that smartness, so essentially - I can almost hear it simply because of the way it’s already written. 

The conclusion of this section is where Ishmael draws together his claim that the reason we all find water so magnetic is because to us it represents the things that’re unfathomable and unreachable in life:

Why upon your first voyage as a passenger, did you yourself feel such a mystical vibration, when first told that you and your ship were now out of sight of land? Why did the old Persians hold the sea holy? Why did the Greeks give it a separate deity, and own brother of Jove? Surely all this is not without meaning. And still deeper the meaning of that story of Narcissus, who because he could not grasp the tormenting, mild image he saw in the fountain, plunged into it and was drowned. But that same image, we ourselves see in all rivers and oceans. It is the image of the ungraspable phantom of life; and this is the key to it all.

It’d definitely be a way to get us onboard this ship, swept up in this journey, while we’re inside a theatre: “Come along with me, into this huge, intrinsic thing, come, and try to obsessively chase down whatever inscrutable thing is still maddening you in the craziness of the world today!” Mmm. 

A little thing I find interesting, however, is how this little piece, and how it’d be presented in the context of the show, relates to some pre-existing lyrics from Cetology: “And the ocean is too deep for me to fathom/ And life is just to big for me to bear/ But who am I to compare my despair to the shaking of the sea?” These lyrics have no root in the chapter Cetology itself, and I can only assume they’re actually rooted in this section here. The weirdness of that is how Ishmael makes the comparison he lays out in Loomings, but then immediately questions his right to make it. He paints his own personal experiences as insignificant in the scheme of it all, even if he does harbour those feelings about the ocean which are due to feelings about the unknown. Which is intriguing and opens up a lot of shit. There’s a lot going on in Cetology which can explain why he says that in the context of That Song, but it makes me wonder if this claim will appear in Loomings and then reappear later with the catch on the end, or if it’s sole appearance is in Cetology. It shall be seen. And I’ll probably discuss those Cetology lyrics more when I’ve... actually heard Loomings! Or, oh, you know, the full show for legit context. 

The next thing Ishmael does in this chapter is discuss why he makes the choice to go as just a "simple sailor" every time he goes to sea, in doing so telling us a bit more about himself and his opinions. I won’t expand on these hugely, but I do think it’s a fair enough point to say that Ishmael makes statements in this section which could act as starting points for themes that Dave has specified he’s discussing through this show - namely capitalism, democracy and race/systems of power, in this situation. 

One of Ishmael’s reasons is money. He doesn’t have the money to pay to go to sea as a passenger, he needs/wants to be paid for it as a sailor. The actual pay for which, by the way, is really, really not that much considering how dangerous a job he’s signing on for. But we have to survive somehow, we suppose...? And, his opinion on the money-making in general?

The urbane activity with which a man receives money is really marvellous, considering that we so earnestly believe money to be the root of all earthly ills, and that on no account can a monied man enter heaven. 

Another of his reasons is that he prefers not to go to sea in any higher rank because he doesn’t care for the honour attached to these positions, and doesn’t want the level of responsibility involved. He goes on to explain that while it can be unpleasant to be ordered around by one’s superiors, he accepts it, and there’s no sense in striving for superiority when he is in essence no lesser than them, since, he states, everyone is inevitably under the command of someone else. 

With very intentionally provocative wording in the context of a book published in America in 1851.

Do you think the archangel Gabriel thinks anything the less of me, because I promptly and respectfully obey that old hunks in that particular instance? Who ain't a slave? Tell me that. 

He finally says that it’s the ordinary sailors rather than their superiors who get the first, freshest breath of that revitalising ocean air. He then leans deeper into the thought: 

He thinks he breathes it first; but not so. In much the same way do the commonalty lead their leaders in many other things, at the same time that the leaders little suspect it.

Having laid out his justification for this choice, Ishmael moves onto why a whaling voyage specifically. He essentially accounts it to the mysteries of fate - though his desire to experience new, remote things could trick him into exaggerating the role of his free will. 

There’s a part towards the end of the chapter that I specifically wanted to point out, where Ishmael actually uses a piece of theatre as a metaphor for his voyage. It’s not as famous/iconic as some other parts from this chapter but it’s very entertaining in the context of an actual musical, and I’d love if it were referenced:

“And, doubtless, my going on this whaling voyage, formed part of the grand programme of Providence that was drawn up a long time ago. It came in as a sort of brief interlude and solo between more extensive performances. I take it that this part of the bill must have run something like this:

"Grand Contested Election for the Presidency of the United States "Whaling Voyage by one Ishmael

"BLOODY BATTLE IN AFFGHANISTAN." Though I cannot tell why it was exactly that those stage managers, the Fates, put me down for this shabby part of a whaling voyage, when others were set down for magnificent parts in high tragedies, and short and easy parts in genteel comedies, and jolly parts in farces—though I cannot tell why this was exactly; yet, now that I recall all the circumstances, I think I can see a little into the springs and motives which being cunningly presented to me under various disguises, induced me to set about performing the part I did, besides cajoling me into the delusion that it was a choice resulting from my own unbiased freewill and discriminating judgement.”

This little piece fits well with the metatheatricality Dave has said he’s interested in exploring in the show. In terms of this concept, he’s mentioned both Ishmael vs Meville antics, but also broadening the idea of character vs writer with the added layer of him as the composer playing Ishmael. This quote specifically refers to theatre, and referencing one’s own role in a performance, which obviously becomes increasingly funny when you’re a narrator in and composer of a musical based on the book. Pondering over your “shabby part”, and why it was given to you, while you’re existing in theatre you composed yourself… strikes me as in line with Dave’s humour. In the song Cetology, Ishmael already actually laments that “this could be an amazing song...”, in doing so pretty heavily suggesting that he’s self-aware of being in a musical he wrote. So I don’t think Dave using this quote for metatheatre’s sake would be that surprising. 

I also like this quote because of the quite bizarre, almost eerie throwaway piece of modern foretelling we’re given in the layout of performances in the “bill”. It’s interesting enough for a modern adaption to point out as it is, but especially since Dave is highlighting connections between the book and modern America, it feels like something he might reference. 

[emypony]

ARES HEADCANONS WITH THE BOYS, AFTER THE BREAK

Some ARES (more like ot2/ot3/ot4 headcanons with Haizaki, Asuto, Nosaka and Nishikage) headcanons for @ozrockbitway (if i remember right dfljkghfdg it’s been long ago since we talked about it, I think??) and @producktions @someatsu @blueberry-pastel @suzunofuusuke @kirinoisbestboy @sinfonylanglader @therealruney @calmystorm-saltycandy (hope u dont mind the tag ^^’’) @shawn-and-aiden-frost-9 i guess if u wanted to read as well @mimirk63 ITS NOT YUUICHI but ya kno ;w;’’

i literally dont even know who else would care about these (mostly joke) headcanons so iM SOWWY if i like, dont tag some ppl ;;

also im sorry that these are like all over the place tho jfldghkfk

ANYWAY with that out of the way

1. so I was discussing about Nishikage baking and. i got it. Nishikage works @ Tasty part time. He makes ambitious creations. Nosaka enjoys watching the behind the scenes. (Asuto will eat anything he makes)

2. Asuto starts hanging around Nosaka and Nishikage thought this would be bad and that Yuuma would stop hanging out with him but is thankfully proven wrong as Asuto pretty much always invites both of them to hang out with him. Nishikage starts to 'adopt' Asuto as Nosaka's friend and feels the need to PROTECC him as well. they also become great friends and this eases Nishikage because Nosaka finally has someone to spend time with that can somewhat get him out of his shell. Related to #1, Asuto will bother Nishikage and ask him if he's cooked something new yet. Nishi is afraid to cook more things at first but is prompted by Asuto because THAT BOY will literally eat anything, bad or good.

3. Nosaka actually likes dry jokes but no one knows since nobody really likes dry jokes and doesn't make them. Asuto ends up with a book EXACTLY about dry jokes and he finds them interesting and funny but not as much as Nosaka, so when he uses one of those jokes it makes Yuuma laugh and it takes everyone by surprise (especially Nishikage)

4. Nosaka snorts when he laughs.

5. I see Asuto and Nosaka becoming friends before Asuto and Haizaki (even if they're acquaintances) Haizaki comes on later along.

6. Asuto is claustrophobic and that's how the ot3 friendship starts. He, Haizaki and Nosaka somehow end up stranded in somewhat of a locker and he starts freaking out. Despite the issues between Nosaka and Haizaki they don't like seeing the cheerful Asuto being scared like that. Asuto asks them to hold his hand and they reluctantly did that even if they didn't like being next to each other. After that incident Asuto was a bit more open around them and uses his 'persuasive' powers to get them to hang out with him.

7. Haizaki is the tallest, followed by Asuto and then Nosaka. Nosaka is a bit conscious about his height and even if Haizaki makes fun of him, Asuto reassures him and tells him its okay.

8. Nosaka would be really bad at portraying his feelings even if it's something simple or complicated so he makes really weird comparisons and nobody understands except Nishikage even if sometimes even he's wondering what's going on in his mind.

9. I originally planned Nosaka to be a Vegan but I don't wanna do that he's just been taught to always eat healthy because there was no other alternative. he sometimes sees Asuto stuffing his face with unhealthy (fast food/other) stuff and it confuses him because he's still like perfect and fit and he doesn't get it. With time Asuto makes him try things he wouldn't normally eat by himself and even if he doesn't eat that regularly, he'll sometimes accept Asuto's invitation to get things he hasn't tried before. He's really big on trying foreign food but maybe once every few months.

This is a lot of Nosaka fdkjghd im sorry i love him a lot AND I DIDNT EVEN KNOW IT

10. One day Asuto's friends find him, Nosaka and Haizaki playing cards in his room (i think they'd keep the friendship hidden for a while don't ask me why). Norika would take a liking to Nosaka but not romantic. She ends up doing his nails or make up as a thing. He looks dashing with black polish. Haizaki has none of that and even if Nosaka is really :|  and stoic he'll pretty much go with anything.

11. this was like, a multiple headcanon thingy with @suzunofuusuke and @producktions alike

Nosaka is a heavy sleeper and Nishikage is the opposite. #Nosaka and Nishikage share a bed, fight me. Due to his past Nosaka has nightmares and moves a lot in his sleep so frequently he'll fall from the bed which'll make Nishi wake up and freak tf out because dfljkgf where's Yuuma?? and hes just sleeping on the floor

12. Nishi and Nosaka sometimes both stare at Asuto and how pure he is dfljghfdg like "damn Asuto's a nice friend"

i'll uh, try some Haizaki too since I've basically neglected him holy shit

13. Things get better with Akane and after Asuto basically has him talk things out with Nosaka, he becomes a lot less stressed and angry and finally starts to open up to Asuto, at least. He's a bit awkward at interacting outside the soccer field so it takes a bit of time to be comfortable around both of them, but Asuto always made it easy. He's still a bit intimidated by Nishikage though, even if he has no ill intentions towards Haizaki and they've even successfully hang out together alongisde the other two a few times. They share a love for spicy food.

14. HAIZAKI NEEDS GLASSES and he doesnt like wearing them but he's really cute in them. Asuto would always tell him that he looks cute in them and he wouldn't like it. Men aren't cute. Haizaki isn't cute!! >;C Nosaka would just quietly tell him that they look good on him nonetheless and he'd blush and say 'thanks' and thats their interaction okay #stolen from @someatsu

15. Haizaki has his ears pierced but nobody knows cuz of his long hair and that it's not allowed @ school. He likes to try out diff earrings in his spare time. Asuto catches him one day and never lets him hear the end of it but when they sometimes go walking around shop districts he'd loudly proclaim "Those would look real good on you, Haizaki!" when he'd see any cute earrings and such. poor Hai chan will try to hide from view at that. Nosaka chuckles. also stolen from @soatsuko w permission dw

16. starring guest hiro again with headcanons he shoved into my arms: Haizaki doesn't use social media because he doesn't see the point of it. Had Twitter once but got bored. likes baggy hoodies. probably has a collection of berets (this one's on @araiguma-koon)

17. @arbegagordon gave me an idea so Haizaki and Akane used to play Toontown so now that Akane isn't playing anymore, Haizaki still logs in but gets sad. Through some kind of unconventional means Asuto starts playing Toontown with him because he wants to make him happy and even if Hai chan won't admit it he's pretty happy that Asuto does this for him Nishihkage plays cooking mama Nosaka tries a lot of games but he gets bored fast because he thinks he's not good at them. He REALLY likes the pet games though. EDIT: I FORGOT. NOSAKA PLAYS ALICIA ONLINE AND NONE OF Y’ALL CAN TELL ME OTHERWISE. he likes collecting pets and clothes. he would defs cosplay his AO character omg

18. this was a collaboration of my ideas and @producktions and her analysis post basically she said that no one usually cheers for Nosaka SOOOOOOO, after Asuto finds that out he goes to all his matches and screams like fucking crazy for him and even if Nosaka won't show it he'll smile sometimes to himself because Asuto does this for him and expects nothing in return and just wants to see him smile and it’s OOF so pure

19. Asuto has both Nosaka and Haizaki merch. (you know, for support! Asuto is big on making his friends feel loved) They're both embarrassed by it and whatever they say they can't make him NOT wear it in public, as he's hanging out with THEM.

[thevalkyriesonline]

Nine Worlds; One Valkyries Trip To London’s Inclusive Fan Convention

Conventions appeal to different fans for different reasons, whether it be comic con, a game expo, YouTube/Blogger convention or whatever the medium but one common factor in all of these conventions is the possibility to meet other like-minded fans! As well as hopefully getting the chance to meet your idols! 

There is a Con though that really thrives on fans, it is called Nine Worlds (London’s Inclusive Fan Culture Convention). A Con with a difference – the difference being it is made by fans for fans to meet other fans and just enjoy and celebrate their fandom in all it’s crazy geekiness.

It has been going since 2013 when it was first set up but I only heard about it last summer (2017) when I discovered that one talk held there was titled “It’s research! Or Why it is ok to play over 100 hours of Dragon Age when you really should be writing.” This, as a huge Dragon Age fan since discovering Inquisition, spoke to me on a level that none of my immediate friends understood or appreciated. Unfortunately I was unable to attend Nine Worlds in 2017, but the fact that there was a time and place to have such a discussion on such a unique fan-based topic inspired me to endeavor to attend in 2018. So as soon as the Early Bird Tickets became available I put my money where my heart wanted me to and I began to plan and save for a big solo adventure to London for Nine Worlds 2018.

I also made another bold and brave and foolish decision to sign up as a Content Provider for Nine Worlds 2018!

Why? – because why not? I have been a mega reader, hoarder and fan of all fiction featuring, adapting or retelling Norse Mythology for years and Nine Worlds provided me with the ideal and probably only platform where I could take the chance to share my enthusiasm and passion for the genre of Norse Fantasy. The Nine Worlds Team accepted my proposal, so, on top of saving for the hotel room on-site and booking train travel I also had to plan a lecture/talk – I was both really nervous and really excited! The months, weeks and days soon dwindled down to departure day and then I was off down to London for what I hoped would be a fun and busy weekend.

Now on to the fun bit – the various sessions and events and panel discussions! These were the ones I attended but over 50 were held each day of the convention so this is just a small sample of what fandom and genres were covered.

Session One – LARP (Live Action Role Play). Speakers; Penny Jackson, Adam Dinwoodie, Mx RA Madgwick and Haplocke Spence

As I am attending my first ever LARP event, set in the world of Dragon Age in November this was a must for me! The panel was made up of experienced and new-ish LARP players and they gave a great insight into how LARP’ing works, the various types and systems involved, clothing and equipment, rules for both play and player protection and more.

Session Two – The Only Toilet in Thedas. Speakers; Sarah Gordon, Phil Dyson, Angela Cleland

Now who couldn’t resist that title? Especially when you are a Dragon age fan. This panel discussion was the most interesting because it covered not just the world of games but also of books, TV and Film. It made me realize how much in Fantasy the practical matters of hygiene from toilets to sewers to bathing are just not address yet in Sci-Fi it’s more visible. The panel discussed whether it was a taboo or simply a matter of too much detail on a very personal and private matter – for instance do you want to know how long the hero, heroine, villain or indeed any character takes on the toilet? If they wash their hands or not? – but then again social, religious and cultural practices exist even within the bathroom and so perhaps it should be represented more?

Session Three – Know Thy Enemy. Speakers; Adrian Tchaikovsky, Jeanette Ng, Ms Anna Stephens

This was a panel debate all about the nature and representation of Villains. I found it fascinating to discuss Villains and their nature, one panel member made the very good point on how it is wrong to see the Villain as the champion of Chaos and the Hero of Order for it is in fact the other way around. In many scenarios across all mediums it is the Villain that has established some type of order whether through politics, society, culturally or religious or just geographically or financially but it is the Hero who emerges to disrupt that form of order and thus bring about chaos. This made me instantly think of Katniss in the Hunger Games, she is rebelling against the ruling society and its cultural practice of the Games and thus brings war to the capital city and thus chaos. Another issue discussed was whether the viewer/reader must be sympathetic towards Villains. The panel debated hard on this topic and in the end agreed that sympathy isn’t necessary for a Villain to be a true villain or a good villain but what is necessary is that the viewer/reader gets a sense of the Villain’s journey to their villainy – they must see where, how and why the character has become the Villain, whether for good or bad, and so enjoy the Villain’s redemption or come-uppance by the hero.

Session Four – D&D (Dungeons and Dragons) for Young People. Speaker; Elizabeth Prais

In my day job as a college Librarian I had recently learned of a lunch-time Dungeons and Dragons group being set up by a teacher after some students expressed an interest. So, I was eager to learn more tips and tricks to either host such a group in the Library or pass on to my colleague. The lady who hosted this session hailed from America and was very open about how she ran her local residential D&D group for her daughter and some local children. She gave some great recommendations and advice on timing, kit, planning, preparation and how to adjust and adapt the large and complex set of rules for a younger more impatient audience.

Session Five – Philosophy and Mass Effect. Speaker; Michael Duxbury, Emily Marlow

Now this was the first session I wasn’t entirely clued up on as I myself am still stuck half way through playing Mass Effect 2 by Bioware so a lot of the moral/ethical dilemmas they talked about I hadn’t actually experienced yet, or I couldn’t remember what I chose in the ones I was familiar with. Yet it was interesting and food for thought on how the scenarios were portrayed, and the fixed set of options provided resulted in the moral and ethics becoming such a personal dilemma for players. It wasn’t always a case of choosing the lesser of two evils but how the player and indeed the character depending on their Renegade to Hero balance would pick. Some panel members and indeed people in the audience felt that more choices would improve and increase the dilemma levels instead of just A or B. The panel also discussed how often, at least amongst themselves, they would pick based on the benefit or not long term, not the short term and play with a view of working towards achieving success or a goal.

Session Six – Beyond Marvel and DC – What comics you should be reading. Speakers; Angie Wenham, Stephen Lacey, Kate Barton, Ram V

The panel mentioned a great many titles, artists, apps and webcomics that they recommended as alternatives to Marvel/DC and then invited the audience to contribute. I recommended Nimona* by Noelle Stevenson  and I Hate Fairy Land by Skottie Young.

* Interested in Nimona? Check out our review! 

I Hate FairyLand

Nimona

Session Seven – Disney Sing-A-Long

This was the true highlight for me as an eternal child thanks to the magic of Disney. I wasn’t the only adult in the room, it was a very popular event and there were children of all ages and their parents and even a few Disney cosplayers too. We were all able to sing-a-long via screen projecting the words, or handouts or follow a link online. A whole range of songs was sung and Frozen ‘Let It Go’ proved to be a major popular one with a member of Con Staff leading a friendly stage invasion and then everyone proudly showed off all the right moves to the lyrics. I honestly was in tears with joy as some of the most powerful songs were sung by young and old alike.

The final event I will review was the FABULOUS MMORPG SHOW. Speaker; Misha Anker, Paul Flannery

Which was a blend of audience power and D&D – we basically had the Game Master who set up a story, invited some members of the audience to join him on stage and fill in character sheets but they had to be as unconventional as possible and then he would invite the audience to provide character names, objects, powers etc. to the story narrative and the players would roll a giant D20 (20-sided dice) to determine the outcome. This was a whole lot of fun and silliness and the story involved a Bee with a Human Leg, a Swarm of Wasps and a Wizard whose greatest spell was making Jam, they had to find the Cheese Board for the Duck of Doom! You had to be there to believe the story and it was amazingly resolved within the 1 hour and a half session.

Norse Fantasy, My own presentation! 

Was scheduled bright and early on a Saturday morning the night after the first big disco (alas Becky did not go dancing due to a very painful wisdom tooth spoiling things) and yet the room quickly filled up much to my delight. Despite not having the colorful presentation I spent hours on, due to not having my own laptop to plug into the screen, I was still able to explain, explore and introduce so many of my favourite authors and titles to a new audience. Some of the audience also proved to be fellow fans of many of them and a good number took photographs of my favourite title list to go away with to look at later and thanked me for the session, which was an awesome feeling. I was even complimented on my choice of t-shirt for the session – my own Valkyrie t-shirt from Redbubble. It says, “Valkyrie of Odin – Midgard Original – Since 793”. If you are interested in my presentation, I am planning on doing a written version of it for the Valkyries Blog so stay tuned!

Last but not least was the fab mini Geek Market that was on all weekend and as it was also my birthday, I indulged myself in another t-shirt from Genki Gear, some D&D themed tea, tea strainer and mug, two new bookmarks, some funky acrylic necklaces featuring a book and a fox in a bin, some super cute little clay keyrings of Flynn Rider, Thor and Pizza and of course BOOKS! Each attendee got a surprise free book in their bag, but I got two based on libraries and books, The Invisible Library by Genevieve Cogman and Bookworm by Christopher Nuttall – expect a review on here once I have got around to enjoying them.

Now the managing team have recently stepped down to consult with attendees and invite new members, as they are reviewing their constitution to try and make it more inclusive and representative of those who attend. Although from what I witnessed their inclusive and equality practices were out of this world compared to other cons I’ve been too. I do hope the new organizers can continue what has already been established and continue to make improvements where they feel it is needed. I for one enjoyed it all – despite my wisdom tooth being a very literal pain throughout – for I definitely would attend again.

Did you attend Nine Worlds? What did you think? What was your favourite presentation?

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A Valkyrie at Nineworlds! @london_geekfest #nineworlds Nine Worlds; One Valkyries Trip To London's Inclusive Fan Convention Conventions appeal to different fans for different reasons, whether it be comic con, a game expo, YouTube/Blogger convention or whatever the medium but one common factor in all of these conventions is the possibility to meet other like-minded fans!

[lr-supernaturaladdict]

Old Flames Part 2

Summary: You arrive back in your once hometown of Riverdale with the Winchesters in order to work a case just across Sweetwater river, hearing about the case from an old friend from your past. Not knowing what exactly they’re walking into, Sam and Dean get to encounter some blasts from your past. Including the one and only FP Jones.

A/N: I want to apologize for it taking me so long to get this out. It’s been a crazy last two weeks but I finally finished part 2. I hope it lives up to what I provided with part one. Love you guys!

Word Count: 5258

Warnings: Language, Sexual Content

Pairings: FP Jones/Reader, Sam Winchester/Reader (Platonic), Dean Winchester (Platonic, Maybe), Fred Andrews (Platonic)

Part 1 

Jughead Jones:

“Hey Arch, who are those people your dad is sitting with?” Jughead asked, pointing behind where his best friend had been sitting next to Veronica Lodge.

“My dad’s here?” Archie asked with his eyebrows raised, turning around to look where the beanie wearing boy had been pointing. “Huh, that’s weird.”

“What’s weird Archie?” Betty Cooper asked from her spot next to Jughead, looking at her neighbor curiously. “I don’t know who any of them are,” he said continuing to look at them. He watched as the girl who had been sat next to his father leaned against him.

“Wait, so you’re saying none of you have seen them before?” Veronica whispered yelled.

“I guess so,” Jughead shrugged and continued watching the woman next to Fred closely.

“Do you think they have something to do with Jason?” Betty asked the group as she watched the men sitting at the other table.

“I doubt it,” Archie said turning back to face the others. “They don’t look the sort.”

“Don’t judge a book by its cover Archicans,” Veronica said in a singsongy voice.

Jughead watched as the woman suddenly froze where she sat, staring off into the direction of the door. When he looked he saw his own father walk in and look around the room. Jughead furrowed his brow, confused at the sudden change of demeanor the stranger had while the others didn’t seem to be phased. When he turned back to look at the strange new comers he saw the woman quickly get up and speed to the women's restroom. She didn’t seem to phased by some of the men and even teenage boys in the diner checking out her figure. He even found himself thinking the strange woman was fairly attractive and assumed Archie did too. Jughead was so busy watching the stranger he didn’t notice Veronica or Betty get up and follow her until he saw their backs go into the restroom. “What are they doing?” he sighed, turning his attention back to the redhead.

“I’m going to guess they’re going to snoop,” he shrugged. “She did run away kind of fast when your dad walked in though.”

“You saw that too?” Jughead asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah,” Archie nodded. “I mean, she is kind of attractive. She must do something she has to stay in shape for though, she had some serious muscle on her.”

“Hmm,” Jughead hummed and pondered for a moment, he hadn’t even noticed that about her. “The guys sitting over there seem pretty massive too, think they’re here together?”

“Probably,” Archie said before noticing Jughead's father FP now sitting at the table with his father and the two strange men. “Weirder.”

“Huh?” Jughead asked before looking back at the table the woman had just vacated and saw his father now sitting where she had left. “Yeah, I’ll say.”

“Well, we didn’t find anything out,” Veronica sighed as she took her seat again.

“Although she did seem kind of distressed,” Betty said with a shrug sitting back down next to Jughead.

Before either boys could answer they noticed the woman walk back out of the bathroom and towards the table, causing all of them to stay quiet and watch the interaction. Jughead was shocked by the way his father had responded at seeing the woman. The strong, vocal, serpent leader was at a loss for words when his eyes met the womans. The charming and charismatic woman he had just been observing with the other men was now speechless and shy. He didn’t understand what the deal was between the two but he knew they were more than just acquaintances with the looks they gave each other. Jugheads gaze shifted to the two other strangers at the table and noticed the one with longer chestnut hair was smiling, almost as though he was happy about the encounter. The man with short blonde hair however seemed angry and defensive about it. Jughead continued to watch as the man's jaw clenched tightly almost as if he was fighting with himself.

“(Y/N),” Jughead heard his father say in a soft voice, one he himself had only heard when he was a child or when he was around his sister.

“Hey FP,” the woman said, who he now knew to be named (Y/N) said.

Your POV:

“Long time no see,” smiled awkwardly at you. He reminded you of the young 16 year old FP, that had asked you out all those years ago, with how nervous he was.

“Yeah,” you sighed and looked down at your feet, still not making a move to walk closer. “I’ll say.”

One of the other men at the table cleared their throat loudly. When you looked over to the Winchesters you saw Sam subtly telling you that Dean had been the one to do it. Rolling your eyes you finally walked over to your table and stood next to it due to both sides of the booth being filled. Sam looked up at you and smiled, making a move to get up but you stopped him. “You sure, you don’t need to stand.”

“I’m good, but thank you Sammy,” you smiled at the younger man and pursed your lips. “So have you been properly introduced?” you asked looking at FP.

“No, we have not,” he said with his normal slick voice. The voice that always used to make your knees weak.

Nodding and trying to clear your head you looked at your boys. “Sam and Dean Winchester,” you waved your hand in front of them. “This is FP Jones,” you paused and tried to think of what to refer to him as.

“(Y/N) and I have been very good friends for a long time,” he answered for you and reached across the table to shake Sam's hand.

“Right, (Y/N) is practically an older sister to me,” Sam said. “She’s been around since I was about 3 years old, so she’s family. One of the only ones we have left,” you watched as his face portrayed a look of sadness, one that FP did not miss. You told him everything when you were together, even about the Winchesters and their lost loved ones.

“Well, she’s someone to keep around,” FP looked at you and smirked slightly before looking at Dean.

Dean shook his hand, albeit reluctantly. “That she is,” he said gruffly, gripping FP’s hand tightly.

FP raised an eyebrow at Dean, but released his hand and threw an arm over the back of the booth. Before he could say anything Fred stood and stretched. “Alright, I know you just got here but I need to head home,” Fred said. “Early morning at the sight.”

You pouted slightly and went around to hug him. “I feel like it's already too soon.”

“I know,” he embraced you tightly. “But if you guys are still in town for a few more days we’ll get together, I promise.”

“We better,” you squinted at him and poked his chest. “I’d love to meet Archie too, if he’s anything like his father I’m sure he’s a great kid.”

“Oh he is,” FP said with a smirk, laughing slightly.

“He a lady killer too?” you turned your head to look at FP.

“Big time,” FP answered before Fred could.

“For one, I was not a lady killer,” he gave you a serious look. “And secondly, he’s a great kid because he doesn’t have someone like you getting him in trouble.”

“What, me?” you scoffed jokingly. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“(Y/N) getting other people in trouble sounds about right,” Sam threw out and smirked at you.

Rolling your eyes you looked back at Sam. “I’m sure we could stand around swapping stories about her for awhile, but it’ll have to be another time,” Fred smiled at you and clapped his hand on your shoulder. “It was nice meeting you both,” he looked at FP with a serious face, one that told you more than words could. “I’ll see you later FP.”

FP just waved his hand at Fred before he walked away. You stood watching him walk over to the table where his son was sat with his friends. “So I gotta ask, is that other boy over there Jug?” you asked sitting down next to FP, not realizing how close you two were.

“Yeah,” he answered flatly, looking directly at you when you turned back around.

“No wonder he looked familiar,” you smiled slightly. “He looks a lot like you did.”

Smirking slightly FP just shrugged. “Except he’s not on the wrong side of the tracks.”

“You mean a gang?” Dean asked out of the blue, causing not only yourself but FP to freeze. You watched as Dean noticed the jacket FP had been wearing. You had been so used to it being a part of his normal attire you didn’t think anything of it, FP had been wearing his Serpent jacket and the eldest Winchester noticed.

“Dean,” you said defensively, making sure he looked you in the eyes. “Now is not the time or the place.”

Dean scoffed and rolled his eyes. “It’s alright sweetheart,” FP said in a soft voice he only ever directed towards you. “My fault for keeping this ol’ thing on,” he shrugged and leaned back against the booth. You could feel his knee brush against your own, causing your cheeks to flush slightly which didn’t go unnoticed by the green eyed Winchester. He even noticed the way you watched FP’s movements from the corner of your eye.

Clearing your throat you looked around the table assuring no one was within earshot of you all before speaking. “So guys,” you looked at Sam and then at Dean. “FP is my informant, he let me know we had a potential case in Greendale.”

“Potential?” Dean asked. “You mean to tell me we drove all the way out here for a potential case, not a cold hard one.”

“Well,” you ran your hand through your hair. “We’ve done more on less,” you shrugged when he scoffed.

“Please excuse my brother,” Sam said giving Dean a dirty look. Sure he knew how Dean felt about you, but he wouldn’t let him treat you like this. “So what makes you think this is our kind of thing?” he asked looking at FP.

“People from the southside have been going missing while doing some errands,” he paused looking at you before continuing. “They were found in Greendale, dead.”

“And you think we can help because?” Dean huffed out annoyed.

“Because their necks were practically ripped open and they were drained of their blood,” he said dryly and defensively.

“So you thinking vamps?” Sam asked, looking at you and his brother.

“That or a Vetala,” you said with a sigh. You knew how much it hurt FP that it was people from his side of the tracks there were being taken. Placing your hand on his bicep, you squeezed it slightly in attempt to comfort him discreetly. Once you gripped his arm though it immediately took you by surprise by how much he was still in shape. His muscles were still firm as when they had been when you both were in your twenties. Looking at you from the corner of his eye, his lip tilted up in a small smile that almost turned into a smirk the longer you held you arm there. The sound of a throat clearing brought you out of your thoughts and you removed your hand. “Do you know if the victims had any traces of some sort of venom?” you asked with a slight rasp in your voice.

You noticed Dean roll his eyes before standing from the booth quickly. Before FP could answer your question Dean grabbed your arm and practically ripped you from the booth. “We’ll be right back,” Dean growled slightly. Both Sam and FP gave you a look that said if you asked for help they’d be there in a heartbeat.

Huffing you allowed Dean to pull you outside, ignoring all the strange looks you were getting from everyone inside, the group of teenagers included. Once outside you ripped yourself from his strong grasp. “Excuse you!” you yelled at him and crossed your arms. “What the hell was that for?”

“You were flirting with the damn witness again,” he clenched his jaw. “I saw it and I’m pretty sure Sam did too, how do you expect to get answers we need when you’re acting like that?”

“How am I acting?” you threw your arms up. “I was comforting him Dean, he’s lost people he cares about, you asshole.”

Pinching the bridge of his nose he exhaled loudly. “I saw the looks he was giving you and the looks you gave him, so I call bullshit.”

Looking inside you noticed Sam at the counter paying for your dinner and FP at the table speaking with his son. “I touched his arm and looked at him, no reason to cause a scene Dean,” you sighed and took a deep breath. “One minute your happy go lucky and laughing, the next your a territorial ass,” you paused as you thought about it for a moment. “You’re jealous aren’t you?” you smirked at him.

“What, me?” he scoffed and shook his head. “Why would you think that?”

“Because I barely even got a chance to speak with him before you dragged me out here like a caveman,” you said smugly, crossing your arms.

“I was just trying to make sure you didn’t let your urges get in the way of our job,” he said crossing his arms.

“Is that so?” you asked as you stepped closer to him. Placing your hand on his arm you looked up at him. “It would explain a lot you know.”

“It wouldn’t explain anything because I’m not jealous,” he said defiantly, although you saw in his eyes he was feeling something completely different as he watched you.

“Sure Dean,” you rolled your eyes and moved away from him, turning to walk towards the Impala. Completely missing the look of longing that he allowed to slip onto his face.

“Hey, Sam said you guys wanted to get a drink,” FP said walking out the diner with the younger Winchester on his heels.

Turning back around to face all three men you smiled brightly. “Oh I for sure need one right now,” you clapped your hands together and waited for the rest of them to reply.

“I’m in,” FP smirked watching you light up at his answer. He missed seeing you happy, even when you stopped hunting for few years you had together he rarely ever saw you happy. The trouble that being a serpent causes when things go south.

“Sure,” Sam said with a smile, rolling his eyes at your eagerness.

“I’m good,” Dean scowled and clenched his jaw.

Practically skipping up to the older Winchester you stood chest to chest with him. “You mean to tell me, you’re going to give up a chance for booze and hot chicks,” you backed up when you didn’t see his facial expression change. “Didn’t you want a drink to begin with?” you cocked an eyebrow.

“Well now I don’t,” he fake yawned before looking down at you. “I’m beat, wanna be up early to get this hunt taken care of,” he grabbed your shoulder lightly before looking up at his brother. “Let’s go back to the hotel.”

Slipping away from him before he could push you towards the Impala you moved to where FP stood. “Go right ahead, I’m going drinking,” you said sticking your tongue out at Dean.

“Dude,” Sam said walking up to his brother. “You seriously going to give up the chance to drink and see her drunk? It’s like two of your favorite things,” he said in a loud whisper, just soft enough for you not to hear.

“I don’t want to watch them make googly eyes at each other all night,” Dean growled.

“I watch you make googly eyes at her constantly, you can handle a couple more hours,” Sam said, clapping his hand on his brother back. “She might dance while she’s drunk, something else you enjoy.”

“You know, you are really making me seem like some creepy guy,” he looked at his brother slightly shocked.

“Because it is kind of creepy, but at least this way you can keep an eye on her,” Sam shrugged and looked over at you laughing with FP.

Dean watched you carefully with his jaw clenched. “Fine, but I won’t enjoy it.”

“Just remember, she had a life without us,” Sam patted his brother back and waved at you to get your attention. “We’re coming.”

“Great,” you yelled. “I’m going to ride with FP, just follow us,” you bit your lip and moved to walk to his truck, not realizing how close he is until he puts his hand on the small of your back.

Opening the door for you he makes sure your in the truck before going and getting in himself. “You know, the last time I saw you, you weren’t this happy,” he said while turning on the ignition.

“A lot of shit has happened,” you shrugged and looked out the window. “If I’m being honest, it’s all just a mask for them.”

As he backed away from Pop’s and drove onto the road he pondered what you meant before asking you. “Why?”

“We’ve lost more people For,” you sighed and leaned against the window. “Crazy shit has happened and I’m lucky to be alive right now, but they’re worse off,” you looked at him with a sad smile. “Why do you think I stayed with them all these years?”

“What happened?” he asked with his brows furrowed, focusing on the road.

“Well,” you paused. “You know, I didn’t think the next time I saw you I’d be complaining about my problems,” you laughed dryly. “I kind of left like an asshole and we didn’t speak much. Now here we are acting like none of that has happened.”

“It’s been a long time since then,” he shrugged without changing his expression. “Shit did it hurt at the time, but as the years past I forgave you because I knew why you did it. You live a dangerous life, even more so then I do and you didn’t want us getting hurt. So,” he sighed.

“So you moved on and raised your children, got married,” you bumped his arm with your hand softly. “I’m glad you did,” you stared off at the road, watching as the familiar streets of riverdale passed.

“You are?” he asked, turning his head to look at you briefly.

“Yeah, I am. I always wanted that. Living the apple pie life is what I used to dream about, even after I left, but things just don’t stop when you were raised like I was,” you shrugged and looked at him. “Now I accept it and I make sure I do everything in my power to keep those assholes safe. They’re my family.”

“Even with how that Dean guy treated you?” he scoffed slightly, feeling anger flare inside of him at Dean touching you like he did.

“He’s not usually like that, I’m pretty sure he was just jealous,” you pursed your lips and ran your hands up and down your thighs.

“Would explain the hostility,” he huffed a laugh.

“I never told him about us,” you said softly. “Sam knew, but I never really talked to Dean about my life outside of hunting.”

Smirking slightly he raised an eyebrow at you. “So I’m your dirty little secret.”

“Well, considering the last memory I have with you in a vehicle, yes. Yes, you are,” you smirked and pushed on his arm, blushing slightly at the memory.

-Past-

“Don’t you think we’re getting a little old to be making out in the backseat of a car?” you asked, cocking your eyebrow at the attractive man in front of you.

“Oh not at all,” he said pulling his jacket off. “It’s either we do it here or Tall Boy is going to come back to the trailer and get a full view of everything.”

Smirking you ran your hands up his chest and pushed him back against the door of the car. “Wouldn’t be the first time,” you said biting your lip, straddling his lap. “Probably won’t be the last either.”

“If I didn’t know any better you liked it,” he smirked and gripped your thighs tightly. “Does the queen like to be watched by her subjects?”

“What did I say about calling me that?” you scowled and slapped his arm.

Laughing he grabbed your arms tightly to keep you from hitting him again. “Well I’m sorry, but if I’m the king of the serpents that automatically makes you my queen, whether you like it or not.”

Huffing you pouted slightly. “But you know how I am.”

“I know, I know. Big bad hunting badass, not a weak woman whatsoever. Just think of it as though you are the most badass queen that ever existed that instead of having people fight for her, she fights for herself,” he ran his hands up your arms and cupped your cheeks. “But a badass hunter who is much sexier and much smarter than the rest.”

“You know if you keep talking like that, I may never let you out of this car,” you smiled and kissed him lightly.

Running his hand through your hair with one hand and using the other to grip your hip, he held you close to him. As you pulled away you heard him groan in discontent. “That’s what I’m counting on,” he grunted as he moved his hips slightly, making sure you could feel how much he wanted that.

“What do you want Forsythe?” you asked seductively, leaning forwards and kissing his neck softly.

Growling slightly, he moved you onto your back quickly but making sure you were lying comfortably on the leather seat of his car. “Did I ever tell you how much I regret telling you my full name?” he whispered against your collarbone as he leaned down on top of you from between your legs.

Cupping your hand against his scruffy cheek, you smiled. “It’s only fair, I mean you know my biggest secret.”

Brushing his nose against you jaw you felt him smile against you, you knew he secretly loved hearing his name being called from your lips. “God,” he sighed as he ran his hands up your sides gently. “I love you,” he said gruffly.

Running your hands through his hair you pressed your forehead against his. It was hard for you to say that you loved him or anyone for that matter but he knew, just by your actions he knew. He once had told you that you never had to say it as long as you knew that he loved you. You had seen so much death in your life before you had even turned 30 that he understood from the very first time he had said it. It had been after he found out about your life as a hunter he had said it because he knew he could lose you at any moment. The moments you did say it were the moments that meant so much more to him and you.

“I love you too,” you whispered barely loud enough for him to hear you.

He looked into your eyes for a moment, almost making sure you meant it before crashing his lips to yours. It was a sweet and heated kiss. You could feel his hands move underneath your thin tank top as they caressed you gently. FP had always been sweet with you unless you asked for something rougher, like when you would come home from a bad hunt, but he always made sure you felt loved with him. Anytime any of the other serpent girls would make comments about his rough demeanor and how its probably the same in the bedroom you would have to keep yourself from not only hurting them but laughing as well. He was a ruthless leader and always did things when they needed to be done but he was never like that when it was just the two of you, though he would say the same about you. Most members were terrified of you because of the beating you gave Mustang for trying to grope you, you knew that FP would have done it if you didn’t. He probably wouldn’t have been as rough about it though.

“What are you smiling about?” he pulled away and looked down at you.

You hadn’t even realized you started smiling. “Just thinking about you,” you shrugged.

“Well, I’m glad you’re thinking about me and not someone else,” he smirked kissing your jaw. “I’d be pretty hurt it that were the case.”

You smacked his shoulder lightly as he started to laugh. ���I was just thinking about how different you are around me.”

“What do you mean?” he rested his head on your shoulder.

“You’re more gentle and less demanding,” you cupped his cheek lightly. “Even though you know I can take the roughness,” you laughed slightly.

“You’re my queen,” before you could groan at the name he continued. “And even if you don’t like that I’m always going to treat you as such, even when we can get away from here. Live our life away from gangs, drugs, and monsters,” he nipped your earlobe. “I for one can’t wait to have a family with you.”

Smiling you hugged him to you tightly. “We will soon,” you whispered. “Won’t hurt to practice until then though right?”

“I like the way you think,” he practically purred into your ear as he pressed his crotch against yours.

“I can tell,” you smirked and ran one of your hands down his chest and stomach. As he kissed and sucked at your neck you made work of unbuttoning his tight jeans that seems to be hurting him at this point. “You never did tell me what you wanted.”

“Well for starters,” he pulled away from you abruptly and looked down at you. “You’re wearing way too many clothes.

Cocking an eyebrow at him you smirked. “And what would you like me to do about that, sir?” you asked in a submissive way you knew he loved when the mood hit him.

“Take them off, now,” he smirked at you, watching you carefully.

Sitting up you looked at him through hooded eyes, slowly pulling your tank top over your head, making sure he watched every movement you made. As soon as your shirt fell to the floor he was over you again, his lips capturing yours in a hot and passionate kiss that curled that made your toes curl. His hands moved up your bare stomach and snaked their way behind your back, unclasping your bra skillfully. You could feel him smirk as he continued to kiss you, knowing full well he got exactly what he wanted. “For,” you gasped as you felt him press against your thigh, knowing just how hard he was.

“Shh,” he hushed you, pulling your bottom lip between his teeth as he made quick work of unbuttoning your white washed jeans. Being in such a cramped spot made moving much more difficult but he managed to pull your pants and panties down your legs without moving to far away. “God, you’re so beautiful,” he breathed out heavily as he looked down at your bare form.

Reaching up and gripping the hem of his shirt you pouted slightly. “You’re still wearing to many clothes.”

Rolling his eyes but still smirking, he pulled his shirt off over his head quickly, revealing his toned body. He wasn’t rock hard like you knew Sam had been, but he was firm and soft in all the right places. You loved his body and more importantly he loved yours, imperfections and all. “That better?” he drawled, raising an eyebrow at you.

“Not quite,” you smirked looking down at his jeans. You had only gotten a chance to get them unbuttoned before he pulled away. “Those too, please,” you looked up at him through thick lashes.

He growled slightly and pushed his jeans down, following quickly after were his boxers. “I don’t think we have time for foreplay tonight sweetheart,” he said gruffly, moving his hand up your thigh, grazing his fingers over your heated core.

Biting your lip you grabbed his arms, pulling him to you. “Lucky I’m always ready for you then,” you nipped his cheek as you felt his tip graze your slick folds. “We can play later.”

“Fuck,” he groaned as he slid inside of you slowly.

-Present-

“Sweetheart,” the sound of FP’s deep voice brought you out of your thoughts and you turned your head to face him, knowing full well your face was flushed still.

“Yeah?” you raised an eyebrow, clearing your throat slightly.

He smirked knowing full well what you had been thinking about on the drive over. “We’re here,” he motioned his hand that had been on the steering wheel to the left. There stood the Whyte Wyrm.

“God, it still looks the same,” you gaped and turned to look back towards the road, seeing Sam and Dean pull up in the Impala.

“Well,” he shrugged. “It’s all the same people who come in, excluding some of the newbies.”

“That explains that mystery,” you smirked and got out of the truck. “I figured as much,” you yelled back over your shoulder, smiling at Sam who had just stepped out of the Impala. “Is he still grumpy?” you mouthed slightly, pointing your finger towards Dean who had still been sitting inside of his beloved car.

Sam nodded and rolled his eyes. He had to deal with Dean bitching about how you shouldn’t trust FP or how you should stop throwing your sex appeal everywhere because it’s not right. He knew exactly how his brother felt about you, before even Dean knew.

“Let’s get this show on the road,” Dean huffed out as he stepped out from the driver's seat of baby. “I need a beer, or ten.”

Rolling your eyes you smirked and looped your arm with his. “Lighten up Princess, I’ll make sure you have a good time,” you laughed slightly when he groaned, missing the way he smiled at you.

“I sure hope you can still hold your own (Y/N/N),” FP smirked at you before walking towards the building.

“Course I can, question is. Can you old man?” you cocked an eyebrow releasing Dean and running up to FP, again missing the way Deans facial expression changed at you behavior.

“Just what we need, a drunk (Y/N),” Sam laughed catching up to his older brother, watching the way you pushed FP out of your way and run inside.

Breathing in the warm air of the bar you remembered just why you loved it so much. The music was classic and the lounge itself felt like home to you. This is where you met some of your best friends that you would have even considered family. You would die for these people, even now, you were once and always will be a serpent.

“THE QUEENS BACK!” you heard a deep voice yell from the bar.

“Queen?” Dean asked walking up beside you.

“QUEEN OF THE SERPENTS!” someone else yelled.

Looking at the men who had just walked in apologetically you took a deep breath. “Well shit.”

Masterlist

[wildflower8281]

Some of the Crazy Shit in #nunlife

I’m trying to understand why I’m feeling so moved to write (again!) about much of this and share it. I think the answer is 3-fold:

1.) To bring awareness to an institution that is little known and that does a few things well, but a buncha things not so greatly. Incase any friends, parents or girls considering religious life ever read this – I have been and am happy to be available to connect and share more. I’ve been doing this for years offline – just sharing the behind the scenes, so as to remove the idealistic view that this order portrays. People be free to make their own decisions, tho!

2.) For me, there is a release and a letting go that happens when I write and share it out. It’s like the energy of it all is no longer lingering in my body and mind. It’s on the laptop and it’s out in the world. While I’ve had lots of pieces of my transition on my tumblr for years and other #nunlife posts on fb before, for some reason I’m feeling moved to write this way and share now, so here I am!

3.) I think my #conventlife is also like a really good book. You can revisit it at various points in your life and see new things, take in new messages, read the nuances even further. It’s pretty fascinating to me, so I enjoy revisiting, looking at parts from new perspectives, and allowing new lessons and wisdoms to appear for me.

(Below, basketball games and birthday celebrations with some of our very favorite youth and families.) 

In my last post, I shared a lot of what life in Spanish Harlem was like, as a missionary sister, living day to day. Pretty basic nun stuff, even if it was new to readers. Here I’m going to follow-up with some events during my 4 years in San Pablo that I have a love/hate relationship with. I love them because I’m pretty sure without them taking place, I may never have left (and leaving has been all things awesome, so!)….and I hate them because they were truly some of the most difficult, exhausting, dark years of my life on all levels. Looking back, I’m pretty confident it was the Universe going: “Here – you are getting the intensive course on burnout…Imma send you a legit crazy (1 definite, a few mas or menos) and make you literally in charge of everything…for 2+ years. Then, you’ll die, want to leave and get on with your life.” 

I think like any people-pleaser, like anyone who can’t say no, like anyone who knows not their own voice – my story is no different, with the exception that I was wearing a bright blue habit and a veil. The rules were a little more dramatic – to say no, was saying no to God….and quitting was quite literally scandalous….but still, same structure. I think we all have our own levels of what drives us to our utter exhaustion and burnout. For me, it was a mentally ill sister and replacing another who left, with little support in either situation. This is not a complete piece about why I left – as ultimately the motivation was much more interior - but more a list of external events and circumstances that led to my utter collapse on all levels.

How To Get Girls to Leave Religious Life in 3 Easy Steps:

·         Make them Superior. Firstly, being the “superior” of nuns older than you both in religious life and real life just felt uncomfortable. Dealing with the Pastor without having any mission experience was also highly uncomfortable, and it didn’t help that he was the most stoic priest ever and only spoke when necessary. It was annoying and scary at first. (After getting to know him over the years, however, that eased up & I learned he was like a really big-hearted Uncle, who had drank the Stoic Koolaid. It’s cool. I admire him for many things still to this day. He has actually since left the order, but is still a priest!) Being sent to Harlem as superior was like this: “Here, be in charge of all operations in this place you’ve never been to, and be in charge of these people who have been here longer than you.” It was just annoying and stressful!!! That’s what I got for being responsible & docile. Of course, I looked to the sisters who had been there longer for most of my answers in those first years. I knew how to be humble, yo! But still – I really didn’t enjoy being the Superior.. Training was joke – barely a week. It’s “the missionary adventure!” they said. “Trust the Holy Spirit!” they said! “Grace will provide!” they said!  #Koolaid, I say, to help the cray go down easier.

·         Send them a Crazy. My 2nd year there, the Provincial Superior decided to send me a “troubled” sister. Due to my “calm and peaceful nature” she thought I could handle this sister and would be a good superior for her and that I should really try to bond with her, so that she would trust me & get better, etc. This sister was notorious for her emotional outbursts & instability and for having been shipped from convent to convent, because of the trouble she caused....

 Long, long story short-ish – she ended up having Borderline Personality Disorder, which we discovered during her stint in Harlem. (Before I go any further, please know I take mental illness very seriously. If there is any circumstance that made me realize it’s a very serious thing, it would be the one I am describing here. It’s no joke, it’s not her fault, but many versions of BPD do require intense programs to really get anywhere. I learned and read a shit-ton about it all, not to mention lived it on a daily basis in a very intimate way. I am in no way here blaming this sister for her antics, as clearly the #ssvm is to blame for not responsibly providing her the care she clearly needed.) She was officially diagnosed by a psychiatrist and it was recommended by him (note, a doctor who specialized in treating catholic religious….) that she be put into an intensive treatment program – like a 3-4 day a week program. It was also suggested that she go home to Argentina until she was well, or just for good. Well, the order carried out none of the recommendations of the doctors blaming money constraints and also because “the sick are our chalices” – a brainwashy line in our rulebook to make us think it’s virtuous and saintly to care for every member who is sick in any way, and never send them home. Keeping them with us and taking care of them is like making spiritual bank, basically. So, she stayed in our convent for 2+ years, basically causing unrest on a weekly and, often daily basis. Personally, it was emotionally exhausting for me, as I was the person closest to her & obliged always to care for her (the rest of the sisters basically avoided her and walked on egg-shells around her.) If you know anything about this mental illness, you know that it’s the people closest to them that they manipulate, abuse and have a love/hate relationship with. I think I went to more doctors appointments with her in those 2 years, than ever in my life – every specialist of every kind, there was always something. Basically anything to get my attention. Days when she would cry for hours on end, lock herself in the bathroom, bang her head against the wall, threaten suicide, be totally rebellious….and most of these situations, it was just me and her in the convent. Everyone else was out doing their things in the parish, but I was stuck at home, dealing with her. Despite that though, she found a way to piss off, provoke and drive all my sisters crazy. People with this mental illness are very emotionally savvy and know exactly what to say to provoke and push buttons. The sisters fell for it over and over again, until they finally learned & paid her no mind, which is what she could not stand. Same with me. This is how I learned to not engage. It’s been one of the wisest practices of my life & has saved me a lot of bullshit. The provincial superior, no matter how many things I shared with either of them (there were 2 during my 4 years in Harlem,) never did much to actually help me. It took my spiritual director (priest) to ask the provincial superior to remove this sister from our convent, for my sanity. Did I mention that I was sent with her to Argentina to visit a special doctor?! This was the last straw for me. I ended up cutting my part of the trip short, and flew home alone from Buenos Aires to New York, because she was absolutely nuts and if I stayed any longer, I was going to lose my mind. After that trip is when I asked Father to beg to have her removed from my care and from my convent.  It was emotional and mental manipulation at its best by her, who was ill, and then to feel that my own superiors and order would not remove this situation from not only me, who also had anywhere from 3-5 other sisters to be present to, but would not remove the situation from our house, where it affected the peace and happiness of our convent community.  I am positive it was this situation in particular that really began breaking my circuits. One at a time, the breakers were being flicked off. My brain had less and less mental energy to make decisions. I stopped caring about anything…

·         Add Work, Remove Support. My 3rd year there (still with Sister Borderline), one of our mainstay sisters (the bitchy one) had not gotten laid yet, but had to go back to Argentina to help her mother. She ended up staying there for an entire year and no replacement was sent my way for her. I was asked to take over her parish duties, which was basically a full time job. She was the Director of Religious Education of our huge bilingual program – over 400 students, half on Saturday in Spanish, the rest on Sunday in English. It was a huge beast of a job (like in other parishes, is a regular paid FT job) that I was tasked with, with minimal help. The provincial house sent me 1 sister for a few hours a week to help me, but that was it. This job entailed not only weekend classes, but catechist formation classes (teaching adults how to teach and about the faith) and a ton of reception of the Sacraments, like coordinating hundreds of parents, sponsors and students for Baptisms, 1st Communions and Confirmations with the Bishop and all that insanity. I asked for another full time sister – someone who could really take over and was not given any more help than a few hours a week. Plus, I was still the provincial liturgist, having girls visit our convent, and doing all the things I originally had to do in the parish and as a superior. I was relieved of nothing, just tossed a full time job on top. So, at home I was being driven utterly insane (oh, and of course she was jealous that I was at the parish so much more, so of course she would have bouts of emergency illness, random piercing pains, etc, anything to get me to come back home and check her out, give her attention, make an emergency doctor visit, etc.) and at work, I was overloaded, but expected by Father and the parishoners to keep everything status quo. Not to mention the people of the parish obviously had no idea about the stressor of Sister Borderline and Father knew only minimal information and really didn’t care. He needed shit to get done in his parish and he didn’t care about an angry, whiney, emotional nun in the convent who didn’t work in his parish anyway. Nice set up, huh?

I mean – is it no wonder I left, I don’t like responsibility and I don’t like people?

Is it no wonder I can spot the red flags of people’s bullshit a mile away and be like #talktothehand. Peace.

Is it no wonder I aim to keep my lifestyle simple, free and lighthearted?

Is it no wonder I never want my work or job to become my life?

Is it no wonder that I go crazy when I see people who just don’t say no, and let people or organizations bulldoze over them?

Is it no wonder I never want to be in charge of shit, plan events or do someone else’s work?!

 (Below, amazing youth at my farewell party...I was sent to the mission in Avondale, PA in July 2011 to be a regular sister and take a breather. This breather allowed me to realize and accept it was time for me to go home. Story for another day! Far right is now a NYPD!)

So, like I said at the beginning, it’s a love/hate relationship with these aforementioned circumstances. They totally sucked and at the same time, taught me so many lessons and infused me with loads of insight that I use daily. This is why the children, youth and families of Harlem are my absolute faves – in order to escape the stress and heaviness and utter out-of-controlness of my life, I would just go and hang with them. Laugh with them, eat and play with them. They helped ground me, allowed me to breathe and just always loved on me. And they still do to this day.

How interesting that my own religious family would not support me in these circumstances, and does not see me (or many of us who have left) as family even today? Yet the people of San Pablo always did and still do. I have real friendships with the people I met in Harlem, literally to this day. And when I go back to NY, I visit them. And yet, with the exception of 1 human, no one from the ive or the ssvm would consider me family today. #whoislivingthegospel? #irony

I’m not throwing shade….well, ok, maybe I am, ha! Sometimes, shade’s gotta be thrown, yo! #truth

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Double Review: The Disaster Artist/Ed Wood

In 2018, I wanted to bring Double Reviews back to my original intent for them: being reviews of two different movies with a similar base premise. This started off well; I did review the Digimon and Pokemon movies, then Civil War and Dawn of Justice, but then it became “two sequels from the same franchise.” While I’ll still probably do that, I want to try and do more stuff in line with how I originally intended it… and what better way to start that off than by comparing two films about relentlessly untalented men that are incredibly uplifting and entertaining?

Ed Wood is Tim Burton’s love letter to the famed B-grade trash director Ed Wood, a man known for making some of the cheesiest trash imaginable, such as Plan 9 from Outer Space, a perennial so bad it’s good classic. The Disaster Artist is James Franco’s adaptation of the book of the same name, which tells the story of the friendship between Greg Sestero and the bizarre being known as Tommy Wiseau. On a base level, the plots are very similar; two untalented men against all odds fight to make their dreams come true. But aside from that, the structure of these movies could not be more different. Let’s see how so – and we can skip right too it because, well, I already summed up the basic plot right here.

The main difference of the film is the lens we see the protagonist through. With Ed Wood, we stay mainly in the viewpoint of the titular man, leading to the film painting a very positive portrait of him, though you still see him ignore issues in his films and just gloss over criticisms due to his joyful, boundless enthusiasm for filmmaking. In The Disaster Artist, though we do get scenes focusing on Tommy, the film, much like the book, is mostly Greg Sestero’s perception of Tommy Wiseau. The film rarely leaves Greg, and while it does downplay a lot of Tommy’s worse moments, some of his worse moments are just as bad and unsympathetic as you could imagine due to the POV.

Of course, the big SIMILARITY is how the main draw of each film is the electrifying performance of the actors playing the crazy directors. Johnny Depp is fantastic as Ed Wood; this is perhaps his best performance in any Tim Burton film ever made (Sorry Sweeney Todd and Edward Scissorhands). All the normal quirks Johnny Depp gives his characters that, in modern times, have become tired and annoyed with, are here very endearing, charming, and fun, and give Wood a likable strangeness. You can see that a man like this would make a movie like Plan 9 From Outer Space. Likewise, in The Disaster Artist, James Franco delivers a performance of Tommy Wiseau that is just absolutely, incredibly, uncannily accurate. He almost totally nails the voice, and the look and mannerisms are pretty spot-on.

Then we get into the other big element, the crazy director’s pal. For Ed Wood, that would be Bela Lugosi, played by Martin Landau. Landau’s performance is, in a word, legendary. You can easily see why Landau won an Oscar for this, his performance is just so nuanced and sad and his friendship with Ed is just utterly heartwarming in the weird way that only something related to a guy like Wood could be. The Disaster Artist features Dave Franco portraying Greg Sestero, and he does a pretty admirable job, capturing Sestero’s likability and charm with ease. The bizarre chemistry Greg and Tommy have as friends in real life is easily matched here; it helps that Dave is James’ brother, meaning they already have a baseline for portraying a good connection. I do think that Dave as Greg is overshadowed a bit by his brother, but as he is the main POV character and we do get to see a lot of his life that he’s still a remarkable and fleshed out character.

Another element both films have in common is, weirdly enough, a completely fictionalized encounter with a contemporary celebrity. In Ed Wood, towards the end of the film, Wood runs into none other than his icon, Orson Welles, played by Vincent D’Onofrio and voiced by none other than The Brain himself, Maurice LaMarche. This scene exists to give Wood his second wind to go in and make his movie, and… frankly the fact that this is just utter wish-fulfillment leads me to believe this encounter is even fictional in-universe, with Wood imagining Welles telling him what he needs to hear. In The Disaster Artist, Greg Sestero has a chance meeting with Bryan Cranston, who asks him if he’d like to play a bit role on Malcolm in the Middle. This is not something that happened in real life, but in the context of the film it is unambiguously real, and Cranston also plays himself (Welles obviously couldn’t play himself in Ed Wood since he was kinda dead). It’s kinda weird how both films have a scene like this… but both scenes work for their respective films, and both moments are awesome.

Now for something I can say one film does objectively better than the other: style. Ed Wood utilizes Tim Burton’s quirky filmmaking techniques very well, and the black and white nature also helps add a sort of uniqueness to it (it was apparently filmed this way because no one making the movie knew what Bela Lugosi looked like in color. The Disaster Artist, on the other hand, doesn’t really utilize any particularly bold or daring filmmaking techniques, though I can’t argue that the movie does get the job done, and this isn’t something I’m gonna hold against the film. Still, it’s hard to deny if you’re looking for a movie that applies a lot more creativity into the filmmaking process, Ed Wood is the clear victor.

So which film is better? Honestly, I’d say they’re about equal in terms of overall quality, so whichever one you prefer is equally valid. I, personally, prefer The Disaster Artist, mainly because it is an adaptation of my favorite book, telling the story of the making of one of my favorite movies, featuring a portrayal of one of my favorite celebrities, and features some of my favorite songs on its soundtrack. Ed Wood is definitely up there for me, but Franco’s masterpiece is just gonna have the edge for me due to the subject matter. Still, I highly recommend both films; both films are love letters to the strangest artists of our time, and both films are exactly the kind of movies their subjects would make about themselves.

[sassysweetstories]

Forever

Request: “I have a Sam Winchester request? Where y'all are just being nerd about books y'all love and he's admiring you. And in that is the moment he realizes he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. And he tells you of course. You guys end up talking about growing old together and no matter what always finding each other. Cause he's a Winchester he dies a lot. And just cute fluff. Love your blog. And also I just need Sam fluff there isn't enough in the world. 💕����🌻” 

Ship: Sam Winchester x Fem!Reader

Warnings: SO MUCH FLUFF OH MY GOD, just pure fluff, swearing, etc. 

Notes: none of these gifs are mine, credit to owners. 

Third P.O.V

Sam was stuck on book duty back at the bunker. But he didn’t mind. Not really. She was there, after-all. The woman he had completely fallen in love with. (Y/n) (Y/L/N). Despite her hands being marginally smaller than Sam’s, she held at least six books tucked away in her underarm. Her glasses almost falling off her nose as she read through their recent monster infestation. The sight alone made him smile wide. They had been together through anything and everything. A year or so after Jess died, the two of them met and have been together ever since. And throughout that time, Sam had died and come back at least one-hundred times. 

But no matter what, she was there, always there. He risked his life everyday to go out and save people but he never realized how much she probably sacrificed just to stay with him, how much devotion she actually had towards the Winchester brothers. He stood there in the hallway, just staring at the woman he’s always loved as she set the six books down on the table. Though Sam seemed to be in an entirely different mental realm, he continued to pay close attention to her voice. “So, I was thinking about The Hunger Games book and movie, right? The concept is so beautifully put together, except, when they portray it in the movie, ALL of the actors are so much older than they actually are?!

I mean, I know that’s almost all movies, but it really bothers me, ya know? If you look at a side by side of what the kids would actually look like, your mind would be blown away! I mean, they’re all like little kids. And they’re all fighting to the death?! But when they put it in the movie, with people that look nothing like the age, it looks preposterous and inaccurate, ya know?” Sam shook his head, laughing to himself. “(Y/n), that sounds like every distopian novel that you ever read that inevitably turned into a movie. Almost, if not all of them, are quite inaccurate. What are you gonna do to the movie making industry? Sit down and have a chat with them about the inaccuracies going on?” 

(Y/n) scoffed, clutching her stomach dramatically. “Now that you say that, that sound like a great idea. I shall yell at them in klingon, maybe if I confuse them enough, they’ll just nod, only to get me to shut up.” No matter what she did, it always felt right to Sammy. He felt more happy, more open with her by his side. In that moment, it was as if everything around him had stopped. He glanced up at (Y/n), grinning. Sam wasn’t sure where the feeling came from, but deep down, he knew that he wanted to spend the rest of his life beside this woman. He would cross mountains and seas just to be by her side. 

He walked up to her, taking only two steps due to his massive height. Before (Y/n) knew it, he had pressed his lips onto hers. Not rough, but passionate and sweet. His lips were soft and warm. (Y/n) thought to herself as she took a step forward to adjust to his height and hulking mass. When he pulled away, Sam whispered softly. “I love you so much. I mean that. You make me feel whole again. And I would do absolutely anything for you. You mean the world and more to me and I couldn’t possibly live without you. You’re the reason I want to get up and fight the fucked up things in this world. You’re the reason I haven’t lost faith in things. You are my forever and always..” 

She smiled up at him, the same smile that drove bat-shit crazy. It was the same look he’d fallen for. (Y/n) looked deep into his eyes, speaking with meaning. “I guess forever with be our always..” She tried really hard not to smile or laugh, no matter how horribly she was failing at it. Sam notices the familiarity of the phrase, curling his brows together before asking lightheartedly. “D-Did you just quote ‘The Fault In Our Stars’?” Finally after keeping her smile tucked away, it broke. She laughed loudly, clutching her stomach as Sam began to smile wide. God, he loved her laugh. “Y-Yeah, I did!!” 

He shook his head, wrapping his massive calloused hands around her face. Sam couldn’t help but really look at the woman he loved. She was radiant and lovely as the night-sky. Everything that she did made his head spin with happiness, a feeling he hadn’t felt in quite some time. “You are such a nerd.” (Y/n) scoffed, eyeing him up and down. She says, biting back. “It takes a nerd to know a nerd.” Sam laughs from deep within his stomach, a genuine smile making its way up and onto his face. “Oh, shut up. I love you.” She kissed him gingerly before whispering. “I love you too. Forever and always.” 

(I hope you liked it!!) 

[tessatechaitea]

Doom Patrol #3

I often read with the light in my eyes instead of on the book.

I will forever miss Crazy Jane. All of these new perky young manic pixie girls that comic book companies portray as "women" can't hold a candle to her.

Hopefully the new Batwoman comic book will maintain Batwoman as an actual adult woman who doesn't have to be uniquely cute and peppy to attract an audience. I want to read about adult women sometimes too! I mean, don't get me wrong! I still want a lot of stories about Maps! Although I did drop Superwomans so maybe I'm lying to myself about what I really want (and, yes, I meant to pluralize that. Just look at the cover!). I just wanted to point that out before somebody else pointed that out because I know I dropped that title because I was bored of the writing. Just like Green Lanterns which also featured an adult woman. Sure, she was developmentally arrested but still more of an adult than say Burnside Batgirl. You know, I also dropped Batgirl and Batgirl and the Birds of Prey! And Aquaman! Probably because it was featuring so much of Mera! And Flash was focusing too much on Iris West! And Cyborg had that awful Sarah Charles who was so adult it made me angry! And Green Arrow which prominently features Black Canary! And Red Hood and the Outlaws had a female character in it too! Did I just cancel all of the books with strong female leads?! What kind of secret sexist monster am I? Obviously when I just typed that I was a "secret sexist monster," I meant it was a secret from myself. I'm sure all of you dear readers already new it. I'm also a secret sex monster. Wink! I meant that in a sexy hot way and not in a disgusting pedophile and/or rapey way! Being sexy in writing is difficult. Flex takes Casey to a ride in Danny World called Itty Bitty Bonsai Beach. Apparently it's going to recount Casey's origin story to her. Why doesn't she just look in the back of this issue and read her Who's Who Entry? Meanwhile, Larry and Cliff get reacquainted back in Casey's apartment. Larry wants to find The Chief but Cliff remembers that The Chief was the architect of all of the accidents that turned them into superheroes. Plus The Chief was just a head when Cliff last saw him, wasn't he? I'm conveniently forgetting the Niles Caulder who appeared in The Ravagers. I'm even sorry I mentioned him if you never knew that Niles existed. Anyway, before they can come up with a plan, Terry None comes home with pizza. Oh, and this guy suddenly appears with no respect for the plot.

I wonder if this negative alien has ever really tried to be positive? Maybe he should get a Tony Robbins DVD?

Meanwhile, some aliens calling themselves the Vectra invade the Mercy General Hospital parking garage to smash the fuck out of Danny the Ambulance. Not cool. Casey hops off the boat on her ride to walk around the Doomed World sets. She walks by past members of the Doom Patrol. She checks out the Scissormen and the Brotherhood of Dada and the Candlemaker. She eventually finds herself in a comic book shop and begins digging around in the back issue boxes where she finds one that looks plot relevant.

If you've ever wondered how I could spend so much time reading comic books and finding things to write about them (and mostly not about them, actually), it's because every comic book I pick up looks like this to me. Except it says "Tess" instead of "Casey".

Through the comic book, Danny tells Casey her secret origin. She was a comic book character in a comic book published by Danny to entertain the people on his street when he was merely a street and not yet a world. Her memories are the memories of her adventures in those comic books. And I'd like to point out that before this moment, I still didn't really know how much I liked this book.

Now? I love this book. I'm such a fucking easy slut.

That previous page hits me so hard directly in the nostalgia that I'm a bit dizzy at the moment. Fucking hell, I wish I still loved comics as strongly as I did back then. Remember what I said about time earlier? Well now I'm saying it again except harsher! Meanwhile, those Vectrans I mentioned earlier? They're beginning to torture Danny the Ambulance so he'll let them in so they can harvest meat for their Evil Space Fast Food Franchise Overlords. As they do this, things start falling apart on Danny World. Casey, who is indeed having an existential crisis, does not want to be Space Case the Comic Book Superhero, so she heads back to the Cabaret and the exit to Danny World. She loses her right leg just under the knee as she heads out because her comic book version is catching up to her and, in the comic book, she has a metal leg. She's also followed by a cute little critter that's probably named Fugg since that's all the thing says. Both of them are captured by the Vectrans as they exit Danny the Ambulance.

Intermission.

Lastly, Larry and Cliff are transported to the Negative Zone so Larry Trainor can once more become a proper Negative Man. Probably. The Ranking! +2! This comic book actually broached my emotional shield for a few moments. It was already a bit weak due to remembering Judas on his Day of Adoption but I think even without that, the Crisis on Infinite Earths page with all the perfect little touches would have been enough. I'm totally into this comic now! I hope Shade the Changing Girl gets to this place too! I even feel like I trust Gerard Way to handle Dorothy and Crazy Jane if he'd like to bring them back. I hope he'd like to bring them back. I mean, I more than hope. I think the proper term is "I threaten him with death if he doesn't bring them back." My lawyer Pickle Boy says I should state, in writing, that I meant that death threat hyperbolically, even if I didn't really.

[raisbiramosa]

City ‘Princess’ backpacking and Experiencing Pesantren living.

This is probably going to be an extremely poor written post as what i want to do is to capture the exact feelings i had while on the trip, without having to filter and restructure my words. I’m a Singaporean, we have a good command of English but being a unique multi-culural, multi-racial and multi-religious society how we experience things slightly differently. Essentially, we experience base on a mix of english chinese malay indian optics. 

Okay, enough..

Idk how to say nice nice with proper grammar all. Well, actually i can, just that i won’t be able to capture the exact feelings, but i also OCD with not writing properly. Delete this don’t know how many times already. haha

Essentially, I’m 23, i don’t have the basic skill set that is mandated as a muslim. I can’t read the quran and i don’t know much about the deen, the sunah and what not. So i feel like 23, very late to start learning, so i wanted a more expedited learning.. And having been living in Singapore where amongst the muslim families here, learning the religion is practically secondary, optional in fact. Basically we go secular school 5 days a week, and possibly if the parents enrol them, they go religious class once a week. So if now i go do that, once a week, bile nak game.

So i was compelled to check out the pesantren. and so i did. Alhamdullilah with Allah’s grace and permission, i got in contact with people who were able to share and shed some light into this world that is so mysterious to me. To really understand what I’m ranting about here is a bit difficult uh. Cause you have to take into account the singaporean muslims view of religion, some more how the secular kids view madrasah kids. and then got how the media portray the religion..

So yeah, i wanna learn but i have reservations.

Aiyah the story is already all over the place. Essentially i took a 3 days trip, the first day was just to sight see my ancestral seat in Penyengat Island, close to or considered part of Tg Pinang I’m not sure. That’s the place my family used to be kings at, so just went to see see look look.

So i went early in the morning via Tanah Merah ferry terminal to Tg Pinang and on to Penyegat. The moment i stepped off the jetty at Tg Pinang a bazillion prospecting taxis and bikes tourist guide came upon me, reasonably got away from most of them but two were extremely degil, i kept saying no, but still they follow me. They say nvm, we friend friend talk talk first.

Then i was like, okay lor, you want follow, follow lor, i tell you already i no money to pay you. And i really didn’t bring much. So from there, first thing i thought, okay buy sim card for internet. Go buy already then go to another jetty for sampan to Penyengat. Then the guys still following, say need charter the sampan for 250,000 rupiah about 25sgd, then i was inside my head like “What?! i only change 50sgd eh.” Lucky i got read online it should cost no more than 20,000… So i told him that, and he was like “Ohhh.. that one follow the timing schedules, wait for sampan to full then go. that one only the locals use. the 250k is the whole sampan is yours.” Then i was like… again in my head… “Oh.. WTH! assuming this is a regular thing, they’re making tourist pay for entire boat rather than just queue. i mean if you’re told its the premium service is one thing, but this one don’t even give you option one eh. ” And thats not the end, when i decide to take the shared boat, he asked the guy for two tickets.. myself and him. I was taken aback, i thought i’d finally be rid of him.. nope he followed me to the island. But while seating down waiting for the boat, i took the opportunity to explain to him again, the nature of my trip and why i couldn’t afford to pay for his services. 

That I was there to look for a pesantren, i literally just woke up in the morning bought a ticket from Singapore to Tg Pinang, changed what little money i had (50$) and went on my way. I even made it a point to tell him that i didn’t even book a hotel cause i couldn’t afford it, i was planning to stay at the cheapest hostel i could find or at worse seek shelter at the mosque.. And of course he was sceptical, “masa orang singafour nggak bisa ke hotel,” most indonesian has this misconception that Singaporeans are loaded beyond belief. Its not entirely unfounded seeing as the exchange rate is 1$ is to around 10,000 rupiah.. so when Singaporeans head to neighbouring countries they spend lavishly. His tone changed, he even offered to have me stay with him, though he still looked sceptical. I was also sceptical on the offer, so i initially at this point said no.

The boat ride and the entire tour of Penyengat Island was bitter sweet for me. i had always held my royal and noble ancestry in high regard but visiting there, whats left of its legacy. An island no larger than 2km squared with most of its royal palaces in ruins and unmaintained surroundings… I was done with the place in under 3 hours.

We head back to Tg Pinang, the bigger island, main island i suppose. We went for lunch, i was extremely famished, but i didn’t want to eat since i had a tag-along and needed to pay for two when i can barely afford it. Well i could afford it if i eat at one of the warongs or street vendor. But.. i was also scared, cause if i travel with my family, we usually macam paham only want to try the street food, but we’d usually end up at a restaurant. but this time round i can’t afford it. So to a warong we went. i figured okay fine, get a bottled drink and get something that is cooked in a reasonable setting. After we’re done he offered again if i want to stay at his place the night, if so i can drop off my bag at his place and freshen up before we go to the pesantrens… in my head i was like “as if! crazy uh. i barely know you. later i do that, i lose everything or while I’m out someone will ransack my bag looking for valuables.” So i said no, but yeah we went to the pesantren and talk with Ustaz and Uztazah there.. due to age they couldn’t accept me, but recommended another place that might. but that place in 27 km away from the city.. i was like again in my head “oh shit. No thanks” 

Then he ask again, now that we’re done where i want go, I’ve got no where to be, it was around 3pm. i decided to see if his offer to stay at his place was legit, we were on the bike, so i asked him to stop by the side so i could show him my wallet and how much money i really had. He looked and said its fine, lets get back to his place first. Introduced to his family and all. Just stayed there chatting about random things. They were poor. As we chatted the wife was saying she told her husband “Anak singafour, mau kemari, rumah burok ini, bisa nggak dia.” And i told her, better than if i had no shelter at all, right. 

We just continued chatting for hours, and she was telling me of her kids and what not and one particular story got to me.. One of her son’s, the elder was accused of stealing one of his classmate’s new camera. solely, or mostly on the account that he was poor. “Oh you’re poor so it must be you that have stolen it to sell.” Of course he said no, they didn’t believe him even the teachers and all, to the point of having the parents come down so the teachers could interrogate him in their presence but later it was found out it was another student and he was more well to do but wanted to spend more money that his parents didn’t want to give. What got to me was the viciousness, people were willing to accuse and torment. It was eye opening, how the poor or poorer are treated. It disgust me.

Closer to the evening was join by her younger son, a well mannered and well meaning young man of 15 but is bigger than most 18 year olds of Asia. Conversing with him, every choice he makes seems only for one cause, the betterment of himself and his family. Stopped lepaking entirely to concentrate fully on exams, he loves loves loves volleyball and basketball could see it in his eyes when he’s talking about it, stopped that too for exams. Doesn’t smoke to stay as healthy and fit as possible to have the best chance of enlisting in the army. Other times play tournaments to help support himself. 

After chatting for an hour he said he had arranged to play football with some of the other school and kampong kids, its been over a month since he played due to exams. All he had were torn shoes and at that point the mom was with us. She was lamenting how expensive good shoes were, about 600,000 rupiah, and how she was sorry that she couldn’t get her son a new pair and how thankful she was that unlike many other kids, her son always tries his best to make do and not claim beg and insist for new ones. There was a moment between the two of them, the son was embarrass but from his expression was probably trying to relay to his  mom that it was okay and that she didn’t need to say this things. 

Later we went out to a food place nearby he insist that i ate and he wasn’t hungry. Think he was just embarrassed to get anything, when i insisted he got something, all he wanted was juice, and even that he was soooo happy and thankful. It might have been just 15,000 rupiah to me, but apparently its what he gets for a full day of school when his parents can afford it, sometimes none.

We really don’t realise how lucky we have it.

Shower time. haha. the entire family was so concern. they didn’t have a shower head. not even a shower. its a bucket on a pulley, water from a well. yeah, you’ve guessed it, the shower room was built above a well. it was quite an experience, they were also concerned that i use heater at home, and that well water is extremely cold. It wasn’t. it wasn’t as cold as i thought.

i couldn’t really sleep that night, they were extremely kind people, the son vacated his room to me. I protested but they made it seem like they sleep together in the parent’s room all the time. So of i course i had to tease him, a 15 year old still sleeping in the middle of his parents. haha.. but who knows, it must have just been a courtesy to me. Which i am extremely thankful for. The room only had wardrobe, table and a mattress. Well it was a rather thin mattress I’m not used to, and my body was aching from all the walking earlier and not to mentioned the rats sound (eewwwww!!!! rats i cannot. no way hoe sei. ill take on a lion anyway over a rat.)

Morning came. I didn’t want to get anything cause i mentioned my reservation with warong food. But of course the dad insisted, he said he’d get me Nasi Lemak, but he came back with Lontong as Nasi Lemak was sold out. Of course i had to eat it. 

By this point i was feeling really bad about the condition of their place and all. And how even when they have little they wanted to share it out of the goodness of their hearts. i told you i showed the dad my wallet, so seeing i only have so little, he only asked for 100,000, he said he wouldn’t have even taken that if he could but he really needed it to buy certain essentials. But throughout my stay at their place, the food they bought me, the snack and the drinks, by warong standard he must have spent at least 40,000 rupiah on me. I was feeling bad and i wanted to help slightly, with what i could, i only had 40sgd in my wallet, i wanted to give it to the son the get a new pair of shoes but thought better of it, so i gave the dad. Of course, he was like “are you sure,” and also cause i had told him that the 40sgd was for my ferry ticket. which it was… but i could buy the ticket online and charge it to my singapore debit card. And i wanted to do something nice for the kid, so i hid 50,000 rupiah in his school pass, if he finds it soon, he’s on school holiday, can go enjoy, whatever that small amount could get him la. if not, later can use as pocket money lor.

i wanted to leave at around 10am to head over to Batam to check out another pesantren. But while chatting the father insisted i should fist the 27km away pesantren, he said at least i’d have something to compare to. so we went.

i just about broke when i saw the place. i couldn’t do it. It is 27 km away from the city, the road there was horrible, it was 15 km away to the nearest shops, 15km of farmlands and forest greens and only greens . On top of that you still have to go off the beaten path on red soil road. The entire compound was huge but largely due to the fact that they also had some farming. Woah. Just on the path and i was almost certain i couldn’t do it. The school, the dorm, the canteen, the mosque was so far apart. Walking distance but far. There were so many flying bugs and since its farmland i was concern of the rats. The dorm if you could call it that was just a huge hall, when you enrol you’re suppose to bring your own mattress if you wanted to use one or you could just sleep on the floor and bring a cabinet for your things. The only upside here was that, they follow the secular school’s schedule, so while the kids are at school, i was offered one of the hafiz’s service to tutor me one on one. Nope i can’t do it, I’m too city for that. Wah sure die sia.

So i was like “okay nvm, go see the batam one.” Cause the one at Batam is more modern and formal. Its backed by a Qatari Sheikh and came recommended by Singaporeans and other Indonesians i spoke to. As in its renowned that random people i spoke to has heard of it.

Was expecting to pay 200,000 rupiah for the ferry ride, but it end up costing only 52,000 i think, my A&W cost more. But i was expecting to disembark at Batam Centre, nope, it was at a more local terminal Telaga Punggur Ferry Terminal. Distance from terminal to the pesantren is the same as distance from Batam Centre to pesantren. 

i wasn’t really expecting much. I thought i’d just come in walk around, ask for tuition and lodging fees then leave. But thank God i decided to make contact in SG. Faris > GF > GF cousin > friend. Thank God. Such nice accomadating people. GF Cousin, Uqasyah, the night i texted him i wasn’t really expecting a reply. Cos most people wouldn’t really entertain a random number.. Got a nice surprise when just after midnight, right when i just doze off my phone went off like crazeeeee. 25 messages at once, sape tak terbangun sey gitu, He gave an entire groundwork of what i should expect and made a point over and over again to reiterate the obstacles and challenges i’d face if i so decide to enrol. Thank God for that as well. With all this considerations, i decided i should check out these spaces first before committing. So i did just that on this trip.

oh wells enough flashback. Here i am in a cab, in a foreign land, trying to find the meeting spot I’ve never been to, trying to find some guy i have never laid eyes on. Acquinted thru another guy I’ve never met. Umair. (See, don’t their names just SCREEAAM MADRASAH.) Well done Raja. Of course, my culture what I’m used to, all the pretension and first impression bullshit. Dalam taxi da busy pomade hair all.. then when i almost reach the meeting point he told me he was wearing green long sleeves. I saw him first being in the car and i was on the opposite road. First thoughts, “Woah. Singaporean? He’s adapted. Looks Arab-ish/Indian-ish/Indo-ish. Didn’t know what to think. (sorry hor belum pape da judge)” I knew i like the kid already from the text when he told me he was riding without license. So refreshing. Singaporean madrasah kid that breaks rules. Nice. Cause my idea of budak madrasah macam goody two shoes gitu kan. At least that was the idea in my head. Oh and did i mentioned i was rupiah broke, so he offered to pay first for the cab. In  my head I’m already like “Woah busy gile. belum jumpe belum kenal da nak bagi pinjam duit. ni die da bayar aku chao ke ape ke macam mane die nak claim.” Nasib lepas tu terus go beli makan and tukar duit. bayar balik on the spot. Oh and mase tu die guna english macam aku guna bahase indonesia, teragak agak. Tapi lepas 15 minutes gitu agak da switch on balik switch english die, da okay.  

Got food, bought some drinks and head for the pesantren or Ma’had. Masuk kampong okay not so bad, then there it is again, muddy uneven pebbled road.. i was like “Seriously! Again?! Ape sey, sekola pesantren ni semua road gini pe.” I was shock cause i was expecting a lot for this school as it came highly recommended, and was backed by Qatar (point to note was that, before i reach the place i had thought it was backed by the Qatari government or Qatari royal family, it isn’t its backed by a private businessmen Sheikh.), pictures online looks different (it was angled nicely. hmm..), people spoke of the school as though its the best most modern most up to date facility in all the pesantrens and ma’hads of indonesia. I should realised that these people’s perception and what they’re used to is way different, they lived in Tg Pinang slightly urban but still sort of kampong, i came from metropolis Singapore. Even among Singaporeans I’ve always been ups in the things i like. Not rich or anything like that, but i know quality and i work for it. I get lesser things but better. To put it in perspective, i’d get one more pricey good shirt then two bad ones, but not like extreme extreme one uh. i still lived within my means, and that wasn’t really all that much. 

First stop, the dorms. Here i was extremely crestfallen, the entrance was marked by a makeshift hut. To say i was taken aback is a downplay. I was thinking “Serious uh. the rest area is self made? Made with random wood findings? Ape sey ni. What have i gotten myself into.” Turns out it was nothing of that sort, it was an arts & craft project of sort, the ma’had has international students from all over asia; so as a contribution they make up something in the pesantren with recycle items. Maybe if i enrol, Singapore can contribute an even smooth-ish road? haha. The dorm’s outside is a platform area, sort of like ambin like that, can seat together to mingle. The room was made for six, three double storey beds and three wardrobes shared two each with a single toilet to be shared. it didn’t look too bad, especially considering my reference to a pesantren dorm was one of empty open room that sleeps twenty. The toilet was quite an experience, the water system needed to be switched on at two points outside of the dormitory itself before filtration would start and water would be pumped into the dorm toilet piping. Have to wait for like 40 minutes to fill a five gallon bucket. So they had to collect water, in form of four buckets of five gallons to be shared. Around this time, was asar, so had to take wudhu, thats where i learnt that there were still different opinions whether or not one can wudhu-fy with water that has been collected (having aways had access to water thru piping, i didn’t realise it might be an issue to wudhu-fy when you lack access in other parts of the world).

Also when we’re about to pray, i was wearing ¾ pants and singlet, yes it covers my aurat, but apparently its in poor taste to face Allah without minimally cover to below the knee closer to but above the ankle and to minimally put on a tshirt but preferably a long sleeve top. Of course kena marah sikit. Sorry la, tk tahu.. (Hmm… *thinking* but nvm, wanna learn right. If you’re reading thanks btw).

Wanted to go to the school portion, but wasn’t able to as the pm timeframe is reserved for the muslimahs. Oh wells waited for the next day.

So that day itself, got to talk to quite a few persons from all over asia. Thais, Malaysians, Indonesians, Pinoys, Cambodians. Bebual macam ayam and itik, cause not all can speak english or indonesian, the intermediary language there being arabic, and i obviously don’t speak. Everyone was like “masmuk masmuk. or was it masmuka masmuka” and i was like “ape sia nyamuk nyamuk,” at least sahlan way sahlan tu ku paham la. haha 

towards the later part of the afternoon went to the futsal court with Umair, went by the mosque. had to go thru hutan sey to get there. and the masjid, seriously eh, belum siap (but that seems to be the case for most of it all over Tg Pinang and Batam, entah lah tak plan budget properly ke ape..)

Malam lepak at coffeeshop, mak ai punye pedas nasi goreng die. Dua teh botol tak cukup. Balik gi ma’had lepak ngan Umair and Abg Dzul sampai very late. I would’ve been fine with not sleeping, was suppose to sit in the classes to observe but if i didn’t want to it wouldn't be an issue, but the two of them absolutely have to go to lesson both on last and second last term. I came to get a feel, to hear what they have to say, but in the end aku pulak yg banyak membebel. But okay, speaking to all of them was very nice, no pretension nothing, everyone seem to be interested and genuinely curious. God haven’t had one of those in a while.

Sleeping arrangements. God i still feel bad about that, Umair vacated his bed and opt for the floor. Absolutely grateful that he did, but he shouldn’t have. Wanted to argue, but didn’t know how. Though by morning i was absolutely certain that second night i was gonna grab the floor first. Its not nice you know, you came over to someone’s place practically unannounced and then take over their space. I wouldn’t have liked that, so i was uncomfortable doing that. oh and i would have been more comfortable on the sleeping bag anyways, at least the floor is even, don’t know how y’all do it, i could feel the bed frame’s panels that supported the mattress.

Subuh. Solat timing here i felt was interesting, in SG it’s accurate to the minute, but here seems like they’re slightly more lax, theres a good 15 min gap at least after the prayer timing (according to online) before i’d hear the azan. Maybe cause they don’t have the system or facility in place to be as accurate? i don’t know. oh wells.

Day 2. i only had two sets of proper clothing, and since i hadn’t planned on staying over at the ma’had, i didn’t have extra clothes for account of this extra day, all i had left was 3 quarter and singlet (my sleeping kit). So was planning on skipping the classes and possibly do it the next day, thank God i didn’t, plans changed, the next day became a holiday and i left for home. Umair insisted that i went, going so far as to forced me into his largest thob, seeing as i am huge and he’s not. Oh wells, i did also cause in the moment my head was telling me that all this nonsense of no clothes and whatever other excuses i was coming up with was cause i was afraid and setan was playing on that.

So i went. Well a little background was that i was questioning the short school hours of 8 am to 1200 pm, well needless to say around the second hour i stopped questioning it entirely. God was i drained. Everythng was in arabic, and as one of the Ustaz put it when the entire class was hammering him about my not being able to speak arabic “He needs to learn doesn’t he. What better way then to use the language.” So he insisted on speaking arabic to me and making me guess whatever he was saying or asking and EXPECT an answer, obviously i sat there dumbfounded, then he’ll feed me the answer and expect me to repeat phrase by phrase. God was it an experience. Pening pe kepala.

I don’t know where to put this in this post, but i feel this place is a good place as any. I grew accustomed to speaking english first, so when i need to speak malay in my head it’d be in english and i need to translate before saying it. Soooo… Indonesian has to go thru english to malay to indnesian. First day on the trip my head want to burst already have to speak Indo all the way. Then here i am needing to convert one second english another second Indo then malay then arabic then Indo then english. God was the entire thing overwhelming. by the time the break came at 10.30 i didn’t wanna sit in class anymore, i left for the dorms. IN FACT, when the moment i met Umair by that roadside, i was so so so extremely relieved to be able to speak full paced complete sentences english.

Conclusion:

1) It’s a really beautiful place to pick up arabic, it being the intermediary. You have no choice but to learn and use to be able to communicate.

2) People were awesome, most would give salam and attempt to get to know you, you feel welcomed. Others were recluses, but that might have been cause of the language barrier.

3) No TV, internet rabak, really good place to just study and study. Quite a few all they do is read the scriptures when the have free time, really nothing else to do. Especially for me, bola pun tak main.

Things to be grateful for/Have too long taken for granted:

1) Access to water. Omg, i had to use a well, imagine my appreciation for piping now. Even at a place with piping, have to open tap and filter the water and collect water in bucket. I was was to wash mouth with the water la sia. Eh over here kau step geli nak minum air paip, kat sane tak bole pun sia, kau minum, besok masok hospital.

2) Even and smooth roads. As in without portholes and pebbles and what not. Omg seriously, off road travelling takes on a new meaning. “Ape nak motocross? motocross fun? uh kau try uh hari hari nak kena motocross.” Tak complain lagi lena bayar road tax mahal mahal. go jer.

3) Financial means. At least i know what i can afford. At least i know i’d get a job if i weren’t so choosy. Omg the family i stayed with, allowed me a taste of what it means to really be pushed around. Sigh. I was going crazy in my head and in my heart, especially since i was so powerless to do anything, imagine how they felt. Seriously, thank you Allah that i have always been given the strength to choose, and never in my life was i powerless to choose. 

4) The air, the dust. Omg rashes all over. So itchy!!

5) Cool and cold refrigerated water. Hais sekola takde fridge.

6) My room. haha. My comfy mattress, my power fan, my total darkness when trying to sleep, my alone space. The pesantren in pinang literally an empty room, sleep on the floor. the ma’had’s mattress thinner than my comforter duvet.

Totally don’t know where to put;

1) Omg penat pe cakap dalam bahasa yang tak biasa. Now i have an understanding, kesian pulak all this foreigners yang datang SG, so much things to adapt to.

2) Omg air as in water, seriously leceh pe access dorang.

3) Kena solat atas batu. Adoi. Sini carpet tak cukup tebal je. Ni Masjid taqua baru tukar lagi, so thick. Sedap giler. Haha

4) First day balik, so many thing to be grateful for. Ingat rase sakit semua, ingat ape yang kita dapat lebih dan harus mensyukuri. Ni da hari kedua makin lupa. Hari ketiga.. sigh.. nak tulis ni pon da barely ingat. Anyways it took me three days to type all this down. Kalau bole perasan dari penulisan, yang atas atas lebih in depth. oh wells. what Allah wills will happen, will happen, otherwise no power but his.

Postscript

Sorry if i offended anyone while i was there or thru this post, this is just my honest account. One man’s view. One extremely lucky and pampered view. 

Thank you all that helped me along on this trip one way or another. Faris and GF for helping me make contact to Uqasyah. Uqasyah for getting me in contact with Umair. Umair for the hospitality, inviting me to stay and everything. And for forcing me to go for lessons. Cik Syamsir and family for having me stay in their home while i was in Tg Pinang. Other hospitable and friendly people of the ma’had, sorry i told ya i wasn’t gonna be able to remember names, some that i could Ustaz Fajar, Saifullah, Abg Dzul, Shafiq. Sorry Thai’s, i couldn’t even make up your names when you masmuk me and told me, much less to remember.

Trip blessing.. I've always been told "kalau niat kita baik, insyaAllah, Allah will help you along," never have I felt that more strongly than while i was on this trip.. I had a bad perception of the tour guides due to their reputation, but Allah wills that I found a genuine one that was sincere to help, a protector to not be cheated while I was there and through him allowed me shelter for a night and the experience to be able to really reflect and be grateful to Allah. A kid that managed to show me true heart. A cabby in Batam that was also sincere in his service, wasn't trying to con me of more money on account that I'm a dumb tourist. Genuine in making sure I reach my intended destination, and not just the abstract address I was only able to provide. Genuine niceties from people. People who really want to help. People who go out of their way to ensure your comfort. True experience of how this place is before I commit.

[ugcnetjrfenglishexamcoaching]

English Literature Study Material, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Chapters 2–3, UGC NET

Global Teachers Academy: 09953762308

 Sections 2– 3

 Outline: Chapter 2

Huck and Tom tiptoe through the Widow's garden. Huck stumbles on a root as he goes by the kitchen, and Jim, one of Miss Watson's slaves, hears him from inside. Tom and Huck hunker down and endeavor to remain still, yet Huck is struck by a progression of wild tingles, as frequently happens when he is in a circumstance "where it won't improve the situation you to scratch." Jim says so anyone might hear that he will stay put until the point when he finds the wellspring of the sound, however following a few minutes, he nods off. Tom needs to tie Jim up, however the more handy Huck objects, so Tom makes due with basically playing a trap by putting Jim's cap on a tree limb over Jim's head. Tom additionally takes candles from the kitchen, in spite of Huck's protests that they will hazard getting captured.

 Huck reveals to us that a while later, Jim tells everybody that a few witches flew him around and put the cap on his head. Jim grows the story further, turning into a nearby big name among the slaves, who appreciate witch stories. Around his neck, Jim wears the five-penny piece Tom left for the candles, calling it a beguile from the fallen angel with the ability to cure infection. Huck notes to some degree snidely that Jim almost turns out to be so "stuck up" from his freshly discovered VIP that he is unfit to be a worker.

 Then, Tom and Huck get together with a couple of different young men and take a watercraft to an extensive surrender. There, Tom names his new band of looters "Tom Sawyer's Gang." All must sign a promise in blood, vowing, in addition to other things, to murder the group of any part who uncovers the pack's privileged insights. The young men think it "a genuine delightful promise," and Tom concedes that he got some portion of it from books that he has perused. The young men about preclude Huck since he has no family beside a tipsy father who can never be found, yet Huck mollifies the young men by offering Miss Watson. Tom says the posse must catch and payment individuals, albeit none of the young men recognizes what "recover" implies. Tom accept it intends to keep them hostage until the point when they pass on. Because of one kid's inquiry, Tom tells the gathering that ladies are not to be executed but rather ought to be kept at the den, where the young men's conduct will fascinate the ladies into becoming hopelessly enamored with the young men. When one kid starts to shout out of achiness to visit the family and undermines to confess the gathering's privileged insights, Tom rewards him with five pennies. They consent to meet again sometime in the not so distant future, however not on a Sunday, since that would be impious. Huck makes it home and gets into bed just before day break.

 Outline: Chapter 3

In the wake of rebuffing Huck for dirtying his new garments amid his night out with Tom, Miss Watson endeavors to disclose supplication to him. Huck abandons it after a portion of his supplications are not replied. Miss Watson calls him a trick, and the Widow Douglas later clarifies that supplication offers profound endowments, for example, acting magnanimously to help other people. Huck, who can't perceive any favorable position in such endowments, takes steps to overlook the issue. The two ladies frequently approach Huck for religious talks, in which Widow Douglas depicts a brilliant God, while Miss Watson portrays an appalling one. Huck finishes up there are two Gods and chooses he might want to have a place with Widow Douglas's, whether He would take him. Huck considers this far-fetched as a result of his terrible characteristics.

 In the mean time, gossip courses that Huck's Pap, who has not been found in multi year, is dead. A cadaver was found in the waterway, thought to be Pap as a result of its "worn out" appearance. The face, be that as it may, was unrecognizable. At in the first place, Huck is diminished. His dad had been a tanked who beat him when he was calm, in spite of the fact that Huck remained avoided him more often than not. After hearing further depiction of the body found, in any case, Huck understands that it isn't his dad but instead a lady wearing men's garments. Huck stresses that his dad will soon return.

 Following multi month in Tom's posse, Huck and whatever is left of the young men quit. With no genuine victimizing or executing going on, the pack's presence is inconsequential. Huck recounts one of Tom's more outstanding recreations, in which Tom imagined that a procession of Arabs and Spaniards would camp close-by with several camels and elephants. It ended up being a Sunday-school outing, in spite of the fact that Tom clarified that it truly was a parade of Arabs and Spaniards—just they were captivated, as in Don Quixote. The strike on the excursion got the young men just a couple of doughnuts and stick however a decent measure of inconvenience. In the wake of testing another of Tom's hypotheses by rubbing old lights and rings yet neglecting to summon a genie, Huck judges that the vast majority of Tom's stories have been "lies."

 Examination: Chapters 2– 3

These sections set up Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer as foils for each other—characters whose activities and qualities differentiate each other in a way that gives us a superior comprehension of both of their characters. Twain utilizes Tom to caricaturize sentimental writing and to remark on the darker side of supposed edified society. Tom demands that his pretend experiences be led "by the book." As Tom himself concedes as to his posse's promise, he gets a large number of his thoughts from fiction. Specifically, Tom attempts to copy the sentimental—that is, improbable, sensationalized, and sentimentalized—books, generally foreign made from Europe, that accomplished colossal ubiquity in nineteenth-century America. Tom is related to this sentimental sort all through the novel. Though Tom puts incredible stock in artistic models, Huck is as wary of these as he is of religion. In the two domains, Huck declines to acknowledge much on confidence. He rejects the two genies and petitions when they neglect to create the guaranteed comes about. Twain influences this differentiation between Tom's sentimentalism and Huck's distrust to demonstrate that the two perspectives to can demonstrate similarly deceptive if taken to extremes.

 Despite the fact that Huck and Tom are set up as foils for each other, regardless they share a few qualities, which help to manage their fellowship all through the novel. Maybe most imperative, the two offer an uncontrollable boyishness; they thoroughly enjoy the grimy dialect and tricks that the grown-up world censures. However Huck's emotions about society and the grown-up world depend on his negative encounters—most outstandingly with his oppressive father—and ring with an earnestness and weight that Tom's likes need. We get the feeling that Tom can stand to acknowledge the gibberish of society and sentimental writing, yet Huck can't. All in all, Huck's distance from the "human advancement" of the grown-up world is somewhat starker and sadder.

 Incidentally, the novel that Tom expressly specifies as a model for his activities is Cervantes' Don Quixote. In his gem, Cervantes parodies sentimental experience stories as Twain does in Huckleberry Finn. In referencing Don Quixote, Twain additionally gives an abstract tip of the cap to one of the most punctual and most noteworthy picaresque books, which, through its gullible hero's wacky enterprises, parodies writing, society, and human instinct similarly that Twain does in Huckleberry Finn. By methods for the reference to Don Quixote, Twain discloses to us that, however he plans to compose a comical novel, Huckleberry Finn likewise fits into a longstanding custom of books that look to reprimand through cleverness, to call attention to preposterousness through foolishness. In this part, for example, Twain remarks on Tom's silliness and visually impaired numbness in constructing his activities in light of a novel that is so plainly a parody. Tom, who is keen on contracts, sets of principles, favor dialect, and pretend thoughts, has faith in these frilly thoughts to the detriment of good judgment. He thinks more about crazy complex standards than he does about individuals. Tom additionally shows a portion of the affectation of socialized society. For example, he makes the individuals from his pack sign a vow in blood and swear not to unveil the gathering's privileged insights, but rather when a kid undermines to sell out that guarantee, Tom essentially offers him a pay off.

 Global Teachers Academy (GTA)

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Contact No.: 09953762308, 09999318556

Best English Literature Study Material For Net Preparation http://www.gtah.net/b-ed-to-m-ed.php

[hollywoodcelebritieslifesty-blog]

Twelve Celebrities Who Were Born Rich

1. Paul Giamatti 

 When your father is the president Yale University and the Commissioner of Major League Baseball your life is pretty much already set his father a Bartlett Giamatti was the youngest Yale president in its history and even though he passed away shortly after being the new MLB commissioner his legacy lives on but Paul Giamatti didn't depend on his father's fortune to reach his goal the actor first got his big break back in the 1990s and had starred in notable films like The Illusionist big fat liar and straight out of Compton with a net worth of 25 million I think he's doing just fine on his own number. 

Here is a younger celebrity who set an example of being rich in very young age.He is none other than Logic you can read in depth about Logic Net Worth   

2. Ivanka Trump

 Way before her dad even became the 45th president of the United States Ivanka was following in the footsteps of her business tycoon father Donald Trump Donald and his ex wife Ivana have been quite victorious in their endeavors of activities and as the firstborn child Ivanka is set to inherit a ton of money surprisingly Ivanka doesn't display the type of behavior you'd expect from being raised in a prosperous family she is a businesswoman herself and designs her own collections in fact her current net worth is estimated at a hundred and fifty million and I'm sure it'll grow even more.

 3. Armie Hammer 

 Long before he secured the role of The Lone Ranger or played both of the Winklevoss twins Hammer hailed from a long line of greatness his great-grandfather was Armand Hammer a chief executive of Occidental Petroleum and his father is an entrepreneur in the film and publishing production industries hammers grandfather was regarded as a prominent figure as he has interest in pharmaceuticals and other ventures controversially during the Cold War his grandfather continued to trade with the Soviet Union who was involved in the communist and socialist movements also he was an advocate for cancer research back in the 1980s forbes valued his net worth at 200 million and in 2015 it was the third largest oil producer in texas and a sixteenth largest gas producer in the world as of 2016 its revenue is at 10.09 Oh billion. 

 4.Carly Simon 

 Growing up I'm sure the name Simon and Schuster rings a bell the American publishing company publishes over two thousand titles yearly when your father is Richard L Simon and the co-founder of the wealthy Empire there's no doubt that you would inherit millions but Carly Simon went down another career path instead she's a famed musician producing hit songs like let the river run and you're so vain selling over a million record copies in the United States the singer top charts for weeks but the singer states she didn't always have a healthy relationship with her dad and her memoir she also revealed she blew her inheritance on therapy sessions and took to songwriting and book writing to express her frustrations which led to good fortune at the end. 

 5. Psy 

 With over two billion views on YouTube the Gangnam style singer didn't make his millions for music but he was actually wealthy in his own right before he became famous hailing from the Gangnam district in Seoul South Korea his father Park wonho is the executive chairman of DI corporation and his mother owns several restaurants throughout the district so I was actually expected to take over his father's company and went to Boston University in 1996 to study business however when he came to the United States he lost interest and dropped out to study at Berklee College of Music despite a risky career move he has achieved international stardom and after the release of Gangnam style his father's company doubled surging to a hundred and thirteen point five billion so I'm sure there are no hard feelings.

6.Nicole Richie

 The reality star was adopted and raised by Lionel Richie when she was just nine years old so even though she wasn't born into wealth she still grew up in an affluent family before making herself known through reality television in fact shortly after her adoption was complete Lionel's affair with another woman surfaced through the media Lyon Ona's wife Brenda went through a nasty split that was the center of tabloids as a result they spoiled and cold as a way to keep her happy she stated in an interview with Mandy Fair magazine that as a young child she got everything she wanted and a little girl shouldn't have been allowed to have that much freedom.

7.Adam Levine 

 As one of the best performers in today's music industry it's no simple the maroon 5 singer is quite wealthy before he even became the band's lead singer he was already living a comfortable life scored - Fred Levine his father is the founder of M Frederick a successful retail chain ensured that the musician lived a pretty lavish life but in recent years the singer has built his own empire which includes becoming a winning coach on the voice creating unisex fragrances and designing his own clothing line for Wal-Mart with his net worth at 60 million and over 30 million albums sold worldwide I think Adams net worth is expected to surpass his dad's.

8. Rashida Jones

 she's the daughter of the Mod Squad actress Peggy Lipton and her dad is media executive and record producer Quincy Jones with her parents combined estimated net worth of 313 million Rashida Jones wouldn't have to work a day in her life but as an actress author singer and producer she is busy making a name for herself and it doesn't stop there she's also a screenwriter and co-wrote the screenplay for Disney's Toy Story 4 with an estimated net worth of 10 million the starlet doesn't need to rely on her parents fortune to get her buy in fact her net worth might be more coming from a family of successful actors.

9. Paris Hilton

 Anyone who knows Paris Hilton might argue that she's a spoiled heiress much due in part to her crazy and pointless antics documented on the reality show at the Simple Life it's no secret that her great-grandfather is Conrad Hilton founder of the Hilton Hotels and that her inheritance will be a hefty lump sum but back in 2007 her grandfather Baron stayed at his 2.3 billion fortune would go to housing for the homeless developing clean water in countries and assisting other goods while the remaining 3% would go to Paris according to the New York's Daily News she would have gotten a hundred million but is now looking only to get 5 million not to worry as the socialite has her own estimated net worth of 100 million due to her successful empire of clothing lines music singles and perfumes. 

10.Edward Norton 

 The Fight Club actors maternal grandfather is James ruse who was an American real estate developer urban planner and the of the Roos company Norns grandfather has been widely recognized for developing the whole new city of Columbia in Maryland where Norn was born and raised as of 2003 the company has a 1.17 billion in sales and with over 3,000 employees the company is always expanding but thanks to nornes big movie earnings the actor has a net worth of 70 million he made all on his own nor has talked about his grandfather's contributions in public and spoke fondly of his actions.

11. Anderson Cooper

 The famous CNN news anchor had no trouble breaking into the world of show business as Cooper is accustomed to a life of prominence coming from a long line of the prestigious Vanderbilt family his maternal great-great great-grandfather was prone alias Vanderbilt during his lifetime Cornelius was one of the richest Americans in history and built his wealth and shipping and railroads Anderson Cooper's mother is actress socialite and fashion designer Gloria Vanderbilt during the 1970s she was known for producing successful fashion lines household goods and fragrances even though her son would be well-off inheriting her Millions Cooper's media experience started while he was still in diapers he began his correspondence work in the early 1990s and worked for ABC News until he worked his way to become an anchor of his own show called Anderson Cooper 360.

12. Julia louis-dreyfus

 she's best known for portraying Elaine on the hit comedy show Seinfeld but despite her privileged upbringing her dad Gerald Lewis Dreyfuss admitted he couldn't have predicted her success as an actress her father who had an estimated net worth of 3.6 billion managed louis-dreyfus energy services and described his daughter's childhood as fun and carefree it was thought that she would go on to manage her family's global merchant company with over 72 offices and annual gross sales that exceed over 120 billion the actress has it lucky but she made a name for herself and broke into Hollywood all on her own she studied theatre and improv before joining Saturday Night Live at 21 years old and eventually landing a lead role in Seinfeld in the 90s by 1997 it was reported that she was earning around $600,000 per episode aside from acting she is also a singer and producer and she's still paving her way to the top having a total of 22 nominations throughout her career.

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