#its bill and ted its always bill and ted
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
gelarshiesprofruitboarder · 2 months ago
Text
youll NEVER guess what movie i.m rewatching to stop myself from like, dying.
8 notes · View notes
spicyboelives · 4 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Got a Bill and Ted sketch request a while ago on my kofi,,, a most triumphant moment.
778 notes · View notes
pinazee · 7 months ago
Text
Because im in a polling mood (take two- i had to fix one of them!)
144 notes · View notes
dr-sunnycicle · 1 year ago
Text
charlie and mac totally dressed up as bill and ted from bill and teds excellent adventure as teens dude.
might even draw that because can you IMAGINE them doing the "be excellent to each other" poses together.. they'd be insufferable at halloween. love them
61 notes · View notes
cowboy-robooty · 1 year ago
Text
no guys you dont get it itager isnt sweet and tender in the domestic gay lovey dovey way theyre sweet and tender in the BRO way
#im a crazy bitch okay i will be like yes theyre lovey to eachother yes thats true#yes i only get gay and shit for itager bc theyre true love and then see something sappy and gay of them and go THAT AINT RIGHT#im a freak okay im such an asshole about itager bc i think theyre lovey to eachother in a very specific way and all other ways are cringe#me when the only itager i consume is the official goddamn hetalia manga#and them doujins made by corolla that mf was the only person ever who understood them (even if they were misguided and believed in gerita)#i like to think in my heart of hearts corolla knew the truth it was just the wrong time.#like how i know bill and ted wouldve loved touhou koishi song its just they were born in the wrong era#but yeah like germany and italy are gay in that BRO way like. its hard to describe but its not gay its more like.... friendship adjacent#like when you deeply care about your bro and act gay with them in that way they arent about that silently looks at the moonlight shit#they look at the moonlight and italy goes 'germany is right now a good time to tell you i fucked your car again' and germany goes 'What.'#ITS A BETTER AND MORE AWEZOME FORM OF LOVE IN MY HUMBLEST OF OPINIONS.... I PERSONALLY PREFER IT#its domestic in the way of having your average daily life of dicking around with your bros and throwing grenades in cars n shit#instead of domestic settling down and being all serious and sappy all the time#its lovey dovey in the way of being like AHAHA IM HAVING SO MUCH FUN!!! yeah bro... i really like you too *hug* im glad youre in my life#i just think thats so much more swag because settling down just does not sit right for me#i think settling down sucks tf you mean theres no more adventures and always sunny shit?#i think fruk can get into that settling down domestic shit but im a firm believer itager cant#because their entire dynamic hinges upon italy coming in and making germanys boring ass lonely life fun by ruining it everyday#its not itager if they arent grabbing eachothers balls and acting like bros#ive said this to wiener but its the itager itapan juxisposition#itapan (japans onesided crush ofc) is great because they act gay but are just bros#and itager is great because they act like bros but are gay#idk its hard to explain the nuances of it all but just trust me when i say canon content and corollas sfw doujins are the only true itager#content#robooty asshole moment sorry guys somethings wrong with me#robooty kun
30 notes · View notes
bajablastflavoredsaxreed · 11 months ago
Text
Alright, let’s see it! Kick my head! Come on, karate champ! I wanna see you kick above your waste! Show me that round-house! Show me that sweeping crane kick your Kung Fu master taught you!
(Bill and Ted look ready to go at it, but Paul intervenes.)
PAUL:
Alright, you two, calm down! Ted, Bill’s not gonna kick your head.
TED:
Why not? It’s the most vulnerable part of the body. That’s what Sensei Bill taught me…
PAUL:
Ok, it was a dumb threat. Stop rubbing it in. I’m sure if he could do it over he’d say “ass.”
TED:
Uh-uh. You wanna take out a snake? You cut o
#
its
head
. Where’s the fish rot from? The head. Take out the head, and the whole thing goes down. That’s why a fisherman always goes for… the head! (
alright then, let's see it, huh? KICK MY HEAD! c'mon, karate champ! i wanna see you kick above your waist. show me that roundhouse. show me that sweeping crane kick that your kung fu master taught you!
Tumblr media
885 notes · View notes
youremyheaven · 10 months ago
Text
Punarvasu & Swati: Cosmogony, Reality & Consciousness
Punarvasu and Swati are deeply intertwined nakshatras with very similar patterns and themes. Punarvasu's deity Goddess Aditi embodies infinity and vast primordial space. She is boundless and limitless. Swati's deity Vayu is the ruler of air & wind and connected to the life force or prana (or qi).
Both these nakshatras connect to space, infinity, abundance and are known for being wealth giving nakshatras.
Ruth Handler, the inventor of Barbie had Swati Sun & Mercury along with Ketu in Punarvasu
Margot Robbie who played Barbie has Swati Moon & Punarvasu Rising
I had briefly mentioned this in my Tomie post but Swati & Punarvasu's themes are manifest in Barbie because Barbie is not a person, she is a type of doll, and she can be anyone or anything. Barbie is a whole universe into herself, this is the cosmic abundance and infinitude of Swati & Punarvasu.
Tumblr media
My Tomie post also talks about how Tomie is a Punarvasu so do check that out!!
I have always thought that Punarvasu & Swati are related to time travel which makes sense provided the cosmic infinitude embodied in these naks.
Tumblr media
Predestination, a time- travel movie starring Ethan Hawke who is Swati Sun (do watch it, its really good))
Tumblr media
Bruce Willis has been in several time-travel movies, including 12 Monkeys & Looper. He has Jupiter in Punarvasu atmakaraka
Tumblr media
The 1960 movie The Time Machine stars Rod Taylor who has Ketu in Swati.
Tumblr media
The Terminator movies starring Arnold Schwarzenegger- Punarvasu stellium (mercury, venus & rising). Arnold like many Punarvasus have been in many sci-fi movies that concern the nature of reality, in fact his own autobiography is called Total Recall (he's been in a movie of the same name and its about what is real and what isn't- peak Punarvasu behaviour I must say)
Tumblr media
Planet of the Apes stars Charlton Heston who has Punarvasu Moon, Swati Rising
Tumblr media
Frequency stars Dennis Quaid who has Punarvasu Moon & Ketu
Tumblr media
The Matrix/ The Lake House/Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure are all time travel movies starring Keanu Reeves who is Punarvasu Moon.
Its interesting to me that many Punarvasus have often spoken about "creating your reality".
Tumblr media
Octavia Butler, the writer has Punarvasu Rising (the themes of this nak is vv apparent in her work but I'll perhaps discuss that in a future post) and this^^ is a page from her journal that she wrote in the 1970s wayyy before manifestation was a "thing".
Butler grew up very poor in an era of racial segregation and suffered from dyslexia. She overcame great odds to become one of the best-selling sci-fi novelists of all time.
Tumblr media
Miranda Kerr- Punarvasu Moon often talks about the power of our thoughts and has referenced writers like David R Hawkins (who talks about the nature of consciousness) a lot. Here's a quote from her book.
“Start each day by saying to yourself: ‘How amazing it is to be alive! What a wondrous feeling I have inside! I am awake, healthy and full of joy!’ Visualise every cell in your body being filled with vitality, health and love.”- Treasure Yourself
Miranda grew up quite lower middle class on a farm in rural Australia and then went on to become one of the best known models in the world and is now married to a billionaire.
Tumblr media
Arnold Schwarzenegger- Punarvasu Rising (and stellium)
If you've read his autobiography or watched his Netflix documentary yk that he talks constantly about the power of the mind, having focus etc
He grew up in a small town in Austria (after WW2) with an abusive father and also suffered from dyslexia. He then went on to become one of the biggest movie stars of all time and was the Governor of California???
Tumblr media
Ariana Grande- Mercury in Punarvasu sings about manifestation and law of attraction quite a lot. She was a side character on a Nickelodeon show and 10yrs later she's one of the biggest pop- stars.
Tumblr media
Nikola Tesla, Punarvasu Sun & Venus
Tesla discovered automatic current transmission & generation technology which is responsible for modern day wireless connections. He's also super Punarvasu core as a person, he had eidetic memory, apparently did not sleep more than 2 hours per night, was interested in Vedic cosmology & philosophy (he used terms like akasha & prana to describe the relationship between matter & energy). I find this quote by him very interesting, "To me, the universe is simply a great machine which never came into being and never will end". I personally don't believe in the Big Bang theory and I'm inclined to believe that the universe has always existed instead of having come into existence at one point, which imo, is a very anthropocentric idea. Tesla's quote is a reflection of the boundless nature of Aditi, who is the cosmic mother, she embodies creation.
fun fact: Elon Musk who named Tesla after him is Punarvasu Mercury & Rising.
Interestingly enough, several decades before the Big Bang theory gained mainstream acceptance and was studied by scientists, Edgar Allan Poe published a lecture/essay on the matter titled Eureka: A Prose Poem in 1848 (!!!!). He had Swati Rising
Can you believe that he, a man with zero scientific background essentially came up with ideas that would serve as the basis of 20th century scientific discoveries & theories??? That too in 1848???
Analysis of Eureka's scientific content shows congruities with modern cosmology, stemming from Poe's assumption of an evolving Universe and it also contains ideas about the unity of space and time, the mathematical equality of matter and energy, the velocity of light and a rudimentary concept of relativity, black holes (including one at the centre of our Milky Way), a "pulsating" universe that renews itself eternally, and other universes in other dimensions with different laws of nature.
A writer & poet who dropped out of college came up with all that in 1848. Swatis & Punarvasus have the ability to understand complex concepts, systems, and processes intuitively. This is why they are so good at analysis, strategy and planning. They have a futuristic vision because its easy for them to see how current events will affect other things and manifest in the future. Those who don't have these placements will struggle to understand what this is like because most of us aren't endowed with this sort of ability to see the trees and the forest all at once.
Interestingly, the scientist Georges Lemaître who first proposed the "Big Bang theory" of the origin of the universe, calling it the "hypothesis of the primaeval atom", and later calling it "the beginning of the world" is a Punarvasu Sun.
Tumblr media
Leonardo da Vinci is known for his foresight and is considered a visionary. He, in the 15th & 16th centuries, pondered upon the possibilities of human flight and left behind diagrams and models of the helicopter, the parachute, the machine gun, the humanoid robot, the revolving bridge, the ideal city and much more. He had Ketu in Punarvasu.
Tumblr media
Carl Jung created some of the best-known psychological concepts, including synchronicity, archetypal phenomena, the collective unconscious, the psychological complex, and extraversion and introversion. He had Punarvasu Mercury & Venus and it explains why there was such a heavy emphasis on "darkness" vs "light" in his work (Punarvasu being "the return of the light").
He is the father of Analytical Psychology which seeks to "analyze the relationship between a person's individual consciousness and the deeper common structures which underlie them. Personal experiences both activate archetypes in the mind and give them meaning and substance for the individual. At the same time, archetypes covertly organize human experience and memory, their powerful effects becoming apparent only indirectly and in retrospect. Understanding the power of the collective unconscious can help an individual to navigate through life."
In fact, vedic astrology (Jung did use astrology as well btw) serves as a very interesting way to explore the collective unconscious and the many archetypes that are manifest in individuals possessing them.
I will make a post in the future comparing Freud & Jung and how their different astrological placements contributed to their similar but differing views.
George Orwell, who was a fierce critic of totalitarianism had Swati Rising, if you read his works, you can see how he's able to analyse the effects and consequences of the same, especially 1984 which was sooo ahead of its time in the sense that much of what was written in the book is eerily similar to what's going on in the world right now.  The novel examines the role of truth and facts within societies and how they can be manipulated.
Swatis & Punarvasus are super Futuristic, as individuals or visionaries as well as in their art & work. They dominate in the surreal/scifi genre.
Tumblr media
Robin Williams- Swati Rising stars as an android in Bicentennial Man which is a movie about a robot who learns how to be human. Transcending humanity is a big theme in the works of Swati natives.
On this note, I have noticed several Swati & Punarvasu natives star in movies featuring/about cloning 👀 This does not surprise me as I had already mentioned this in my Tomie post but it is fascinating how Swati & Punarvasu's ability to be many many versions of themselves is made manifest in this trope of clones.
I have to mention how both Rahu & Jupiter have a very boundless, obese energy that is hard to contain. This can be manifest negatively because its very easy for energy of this proportion to be misused and misdirected but when they're harnessed positively, these individuals are capable of envisioning change that have few/no other parallels.
Tumblr media
Moon (2009) is a movie that features the main character and his clones. Sam Rockwell, Swati Sun plays the main character.
Tumblr media
Tom Cruise, Punarvasu moon (acc to Claire Nakti) stars in Oblivion and plays a clone of himself. One version of him is good, his "clone" is evil. The battle between good & evil within oneself is a VERY Jupiterian trope (and I shall make a post solely about that in the near future).
Tumblr media
Multiplicity is a 90s scifi-comedy about a guy who clones himself so that he can do all the things he wants to do. Michael Keaton who plays the protagonist has Swati Moon
Tumblr media
The Sixth Day is a movie starring Arnold Schwarzenegger (Punarvasu stellium) and it is about cloning. The title is a reference to the Abrahamic Genesis concept of how God created mankind on the sixth day.
This in itself is very interesting because Punarvasu is the 7th nakshatra and in the Bible, it is said "And on the seventh day God finished the work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy because on it God rested from all the work that he had done in creation."
7 is a number that has profound spiritual meaning and is present in many religions as a figure of significance. From this verse taken from the Book of Genesis, it is interesting to note that ""7" is the culmination of creation. It is the day on which God rested because he had already created. It is not nothingness, it is the day on which everything already existed. This is a significant Punarvasu theme.
Tumblr media
Replicas stars Keanu Reeves (Punarvasu Moon) as a neuroscientist who tries to revive his deceased family members by cloning them.
Its interesting how in these films, natives appear either as a clone or as the ones who do the cloning, furthermore connecting it back to Punarvasu's creation trope.
Tumblr media
Harrison Ford, Punarvasu sun & moon stars as in and as the Blade Runner (1982) where he must "pursue and terminate four replicants who stole a ship in space and have returned to Earth to find their creator."
Tumblr media
David Cronenberg is a director best known for making really weird, surreal, futuristic movies that heavily feature themes related to the nature of reality, consciousness etc
He is a Punarvasu Moon & Jupiter
Tumblr media
Gakuryu Ishii, Punarvasu Moon is another filmmaker who makes movies that heavily centre around truth, reality, consciousness, the future etc.
I recommend his movie Mirrored Mind which heavily deals with identity, consciousness etc (its vaguely reminiscent of Perfect Blue)
Tumblr media
Robert de Niro Punarvasu Rising, stars in the movie Awakenings (based on a true story) as a catatonic patient who has an "awakening" before tragically going back into catatonia, Robin Williams, Swati Rising stars as the doctor who administers a drug that induces this awakening.
In Vedic philosophy, there are 3 gunas, Rajas, Tamas & Sattva.
Tamas is a state of darkness, inertia, inactivity, 
Rajas is a state of energy, action, change, and movement.
Sattva is a state of harmony, balance, joy, and intelligence. 
Punarvasu belongs to the Rajas guna whereas Swati belongs to Tamas guna.
Tamas can be described as a state of statis or stagnation as there is no transformation and thus no change. Punarvasu natives are prone to passivity and it is only when they face their own destructive shadow, do they emerge out of passivity to their natural state of Rajas. In this movie, Deniro's experience where he emerges from his catatonia with a desire for freedom and to live life to the fullest before eventually accepting the fact that his condition cannot be remedied inspires the Doctor played by Robin Williams to emerge out of his own shell and live life more fully.
Punarvasus are often restricted by situations beyond their control yet they are possessed by a yearning to live life to the fullest. Swatis often have unmeasured freedom and do not know how to utilize it, they are restricted by their own character.
Tumblr media
The Gaia Hypothesis proposed by James Lovelock (1972) suggests that living organisms on the planet interact with their surrounding inorganic environment to form a synergetic and self-regulating system that created, and now maintains, the climate and biochemical conditions that make life on Earth possible.
It is a holistic view, which is generally not appreciated in science that likes to favour randomness, chance or whatever instead of the innate harmony and union behind creation.
James Lovelock has Punarvasu moon & Swati rising
Lynn Margulis who co-developed this theory with him most likely has Revati Moon and I will be exploring her symbiotic view of evolution on a different post as it goes beyond the scope of this one.
Tumblr media
Edit: as @brundlefly333 pointed out, the French philosopher Henri Bergson (Punarvasu Moon) has a book called Creative Evolution which extrapolates that whilst "evolution of species can come from external factors "like natural selection", it most importantly (comes) from an internal impulse (a creative force). This creative force is inherently unpredictable and non-linear, leading to the emergence of novelty and complexity in living organisms over time.
I find his "Cone of Memory" (depicted above) hypothesis very fascinating.
The Cone of Memory model can be imagined as an inverted cone, with the apex representing the present moment, the base symbolizing the entirety of one’s past experiences, and the cone’s vertical axis signifying the flow of time. As the present moment progresses, the apex of the cone moves upward along the axis, continuously stretching the cone outward as it incorporates new experiences and memories into a person’s consciousness. The memories from our past experiences are layered into the cone, with the most recent memories residing closer to the apex and older memories located further down, towards the base.
Bergson’s model emphasizes the active role of individual perception, memory, and experience in shaping one’s consciousness. The human mind, as depicted by Bergson, interacts with the objective world while drawing from its accumulated memories to create individual experiences in real time. The Cone of Memory focuses on the dynamic interplay between perception, memory, and experience, hoping to account for the generation of novel understandings and interpretations of reality.
Bergson’s emphasis on experience at the personal level also has significant implications for how we understand the self. In his view, the self is not a static entity but rather a constantly developing process, shaped by the dynamic interplay of perception, memory, and experience. This more fluid conception of the self contrasts sharply with many traditional notions of a fixed, unchanging identity. It also invites us to recognize the transformative power of our own experiences and encounters in the continuous interweaving of the past and present in our temporal consciousness.
It can be summed up with this quote:
"To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly"- Henri Bergson
Tumblr media
Rudolf Steiner- Ketu in Punarvasu, Swati rising
Steiner's breadth of work encompasses many fields, he pioneered modern-day organic farming, anthroposophical medicine (what we call alternate medicine including homeopathy, massages and frequency work etc rooted in the human body's ability to heal itself) invented the Waldorf education system (alternative schooling) and tried to merge science and spirituality.
All of this is vvv Punarvasu & Swati coded because its these natives who are frequently drawn to non-traditional systems of thought & experience and also merging a vast variety of techniques + being well versed in a lot of different fields etc comes down to having the inner space to hold all of it. This is literally not something most other people can do. Pursuit of knowledge can easily drain/deplete people but Punarvasu & Swati natives have a boundless thirst for knowledge and innately understand the profound truth that everything is connected.
Symbiosis, synergy, syncretism etc are all themes prominent in the works of Swati & Punarvasu natives who tend to view things as a coherent whole and not separate from one another; everything in creation exists to serve one another and exist in perfect harmony. Its not by "accident" that human beings took shape on earth where all the elements exist to continually support human life, every tiny detail is manifest in divine perfection and it helps us understand that we are a part of a larger system and that what we do affects changes at both the micro and macro level.
"Synergetics is the empirical study of systems in transformation, with an emphasis on whole system behaviours unpredicted by the behaviour of any components in isolation. R. Buckminster Fuller (1895–1983) named and pioneered the field. His two-volume work Synergetics: Explorations in the Geometry of Thinking."
Buckminster Fuller had Punarvasu sun & jupiter
I think I had made a post about how Punarvasu natives tend to make geometric art that features repetitive patterns and motifs. I thought Fuller's use of the term "Geometry of Thinking" was very Punarvasu of him.
Pls look him up and his work, its very interesting and if you have Punarvasu placements you might find things you resonate with. I dont want to make this post any longer so I'm not including more of his work although all of it really fits with the theme tbh.
Amartya Sen, the Indian economist and philosopher has Swati Sun, he is best known for his contributions to welfare economics, social choice theory, and development economics. His work incorporates the same holistic view of how everything exists in close interaction with everything else, interconnectedness as well as an all encompassing-ness are themes that dominate his work. Society affects the market, the market affects society, all of this affects interpersonal relationships, it takes a Swati/Punarvasu native to deeply embody this sentiment in their thought/work.
Tumblr media
George Harrison aka the Spiritual Beatle had Swati moon, Jupiter in punarvasu amatyakaraka.
"It's being here now that's important. There's no past and there's no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever, is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can't relive it; and we can hope for the future, but we don't know if there is one."
This quote by him really sums it up.
Tumblr media
Robert A Heinlein had Punarvasu sun, jupiter and rahu
Heinlein used his science fiction as a way to explore provocative social and political ideas and to speculate how progress in science and engineering might shape the future of politics, race, religion, and sex. Within the framework of his science-fiction stories, Heinlein repeatedly addressed certain social themes: the importance of individual liberty and self-reliance, the nature of sexual relationships, the obligation individuals owe to their societies, the influence of organized religion on culture and government, and the tendency of society to repress nonconformist thought. He also speculated on the influence of space travel on human cultural practices.
This is yet another example of the interconnectedness of Punarvasu as well as the analytical nature of these natives.
I will end this post here because I've been rambling for too long but I hope this was informative!! Apologies that this was kinda science heavy and not very pop culture centric :/
329 notes · View notes
inamindfarfaraway · 1 year ago
Text
I love how Paul's character in The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals is defined entirely by a lack of desire, or desire defined only as 'not what I don't want'. "What Do You Want, Paul?" is a big joke about what a terrible narrative protagonist he is. But it's deeper than that. Throughout the show, even in the smallest, most insignificant phrasing, this man only ever expresses wants in these negative forms, as if he's incapable of feeling attraction in itself rather than simply avoiding what he dislikes. And only avoiding! He never says that he hates anything, either! That would give him passion, drive, perhaps the goal of actively removing that thing. No, he exclusively uses the verb hate in past tense.
He doesn't like musicals, singing, dancing or public performances. He makes this very clear, to the point that it's one of his most significant character traits. At no point does he ever talk about liking any media.
He doesn't want to do social activities.
He doesn't want to give away his money. About both this and the above, he can provide no logical explanation or moral justification. He just doesn't feel like them.
He always gets black coffee because it has "no cream, no sugar, nothing in it"; that is to say, he might not necessarily love it, merely prefer it over its sweeter or more complex alternatives.
He doesn't believe that Emma should have to sing and dance at work - he doesn't want her life to be so unfair and annoying to the both of them.
He doesn't want to obstruct the workings of his office (saying "that's the last thing I want" triggers "What Do You Want, Paul?").
He says, "I wanna go home!" when Mr Davidson is singing at him, but means that he wants to be somewhere safe and not stuck in this incredibly uncomfortable situation.
He doesn't want to die.
He specifically doesn't want to die in Clivesdale, because fuck Clivesdale.
He doesn't want to join the Hive.
He doesn't want to leave Hatchetfield, even when it's the site of an alien invasion that is his personal worst nightmare. He actually says that "All things considered, I like Hatchetfield", arguably an exception to the standard. However, he's also well aware of the town's flaws and problems. He grew up one of its poorer residents, attending the inferior, underfunded Sycamore High School where he casually admits the students "hated [themselves]" and having to watch its more respectable rival Hatchetfield High's school play. He has no strong investment in his tedious middle-class office job. He doesn't get along with some of his fellow townsfolk, like his coworker Ted and all the employees of Beanies except Emma. He awkwardly evades giving to charity and the homeless every morning on his way to work. His life is decidedly not one of utter bliss, and yet it's good enough for him in that he doesn't have the energy, ambition or imagination to want anything more. Since he's "been here [his] whole life", his affection for his hometown could be more an aversion to everywhere else or the hassle of travelling. Sticking with the devil he intimately knows.
He doesn't think badly of Emma, and says so because he doesn't want her to or believe that he does after learning that she helped make a "hated" experience of his happen.
He doesn't want to let Bill die, which is why he goes with Bill to rescue Alice. His heroism and proactiveness at the turning point of the end of Act One start to notably erode his apathy, but his phrasing reaffirms his negative motivations: "Hey, it's not like you're asking me to go see Mama Mia!", "Emma, there comes a time in every man's life when he has to draw a line in the sand. And I will never be in a fucking musical."
He doesn’t want Bill to blame himself for Alice's endangerment, stay in the area once Alice is revealed to be a vessel of the Hive or kill himself.
He doesn't want to do some light reading on the universal truth of love and the strength of the human heart.
He has no positive motivation. He breaks one of the most basic rules of being a fictional character, let alone the main character the audience is supposed to root for. He isn't just an antihero, he's an anti-protagonist. Although this could easily make him boring or unsympathetic, he manages to seem relatable. Real. Human. He captures so genuinely an ordinary person living an ordinary life suddenly trapped in a horror story. How many of us can honestly articulate "one concrete goal that motivates all [our] actions"? Even if you can, you wouldn't undergo a narratively fulfilling and thematically cohesive arc related to that desire the way a fictional character would. We're all essentially just trying to survive each day. To make or keep our lives however we define 'good enough'. We may not have a crystal clear picture of our ideal life, but I bet we all have a long list of things we don't want in it. We're all Paul. He even says, “I want what anyone wants”.
What more appropriate antagonist for this man to face, then, than a force that exists to strip people of their autonomy, their individuality, their personhood, and force them to play archetypical characters in a conventional narrative? The Hive observes that Paul is an anti-protagonist and takes offence to this. It seeks to convert him into his antithesis, the "bold" "leading man" of its musical who the audience can "sympathize with". The Infected highlight this in the opening song, in which they eagerly anticipate and prepare the audience for his entrance... and he misses his cue. He isn't following their script. Perhaps that's why the audience is able to believe in this average, unassuming antihero's potential to succeed, to defeat the Hive or at the very least escape it, despite how fraught and grim the situation becomes. The story certainly proves itself to be cruel to its characters; but Paul doesn't operate like a normal character. The Hive promises to fulfil people's desires and make them happy throughout the play. Charlotte, Bill, Hidgens and Ted's deaths are connected to, by either direct causality or thematic relevance, their respective desires for Sam's love, Alice's safety, world peace (and the glory of a musical career) and Ted's own survival. Paul is uniquely immune to this pattern of death related to a core motivation.
Until:
"I can't leave without Emma”, “a friend of mine."
"Is there a chance of something more?"
"I think so. I'd like there to be. I want there to be."
He wants Emma, her life and her happiness and maybe, just maybe, her love. He wants to love her. To spend time with her. For the first time ever, he wants more out of life, not less. He's a little bit more of a character. After the Infected reprise the "Did you hear the word?" section of the opening song, building up to his appearance, this time he does enter the theatre, coming down the aisle just as he was meant to. Right on cue. Paul is now vulnerable to the narrative - the Hive's narrative. And the Hive's control.
Still he resists, even while doubting if he was ever really happy before. Not only does he use his final words, fittingly, to declare that he doesn't like musicals, but before that he firmly refutes the Hive, and the philosophy behind it and all the pressures and temptatations it might represent: "It doesn't matter what I want." What matters is the good of the world. Emma. Love. Hope. Freedom. Integrity. Humanity, which must be wonderful if we can make sacrifices like this for all the right reasons.
Rest in peace, Paul Matthews. You were the opposite of a conventional protagonist, but a true hero.
996 notes · View notes
ria-coolgirl · 3 months ago
Note
Awesome 🤩 @tillandbed-travelingvlog
paddys pub
Tumblr media
bill and ted are in paddy's pub! hey, why'd these guys let us in here, anyway?
106 notes · View notes
gelarshiesprofruitboarder · 1 month ago
Text
Tumblr media
GET OUT !!!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE !!!! STOP
53 notes · View notes
stra-tek · 2 years ago
Text
Random spoilerific reasons to read Star Trek novels, with little to no context:
Ro/Quark is a thing
A Jem'Hadar joins DS9, tries to fit in but eventually snaps and tries to kill everybody
You learn the origins and final fate of the Borg
A thinly-veiled Dr. House clone joins the Voyager crew
Geordi briefly has 2 girlfriends at once (due to different writers not co-ordinating enough, but still)
There's a TOS book that's a musical
There are YA stories about Jake and Nog making mischief on DS9
YA stories about Worf, Geordi, Picard, Beverly, Kirk, Spock and McCoy at SFA
YA series about the Kelvinverse gang (including Gaila!) as cadets, taking on a drug problem at SFA and a very unique Borg scout in San Francisco
We very briefly meet the people who are to Q what the Q are to humanity
Janeway/Chakotay is a thing
Kirk's first mission in command of the Enterprise! Erm, at least twice.
Kirk was married between TOS and TMP
Her name was Lori
In the future, you have yearly marriage contracts that you either update or you don't and I think that's amazing
Trip didn't die! He faked his death to join Section 31 and go undercover as a Romulan
It's not great, tbh
The ENT books get better after the Romulan wars though, it's proper founding of the Federation stuff
We meet Jack Crusher (erm, the OG) when 4 timelines start overlapping and he's a bit unhinged
Teenage Kirk stole a car and his choice was go to jail or join Starfleet
What happened when Voyager got home? Seven broke up with Chakotay like 30 pages in
Kirk gets cloned, and his clone becomes the sub of an evil invincible super genius and its all very gay
George Kirk was Robert April's first officer on the first ever mission of the unnamed starship with the Naval Construction Contract 1701
Robert is a hard-core pacifist and has to turn command over to George whenever it's time to fire weapons
Data becomes fully human for a couple of days and it's really sweet
They never say "wristwatch" or "phone", it's always "wrist chrono" or "personal comm"
There are gays but they don't say that word because it's the 1990's and Rick Berman runs the franchise
Spock has a son in the past with Zarabeth
Everyone in the post-Nemesis era does spy missions all the time non stop, as if Starfleet has abandoned exploring the cosmos for doing Space Mission: Impossible
Bashir does it better than anyone else, he takes on Section 31 from the inside
Remember Control? It's from the novels, except the novels do it SO MUCH BETTER.
Remember how we never found out who Future Guy was? We do.
It's very underwhelming, nobody we know
We find out how the Romulans and Vulcans split
Surak was a Vulcan internet blogger
A Borg Cube eats Pluto
Janeway dies
Janeway gets better
At least one TOS book features a wizard
There's a Star Trek TOS/Here Come the Brides crossover novel
It had cameos from The Doctor (as in, Who), Han Solo, Starbuck and others
Whole book series about Section 31
Whole book series about the Department of Temporal Investigations
One time they do the Bill and Ted thing to escape confinement and it works
Wanna know how Riker and Troi met?
Wanna know what Picard got up to on the Stargazer?
Andorians have 4 sexes and it's very complicated
Data comes back from the dead as Data 2.0, and it was fresh and exciting because it happened long before ST: Picard did it twice.
Lal comes back too and we get father/daughter android stuff! They have a home and everything but keep having to save the universe
One time Mirror Seven is led around on a leash naked on Terok Nor
Geordi becomes captain of the USS Challenger, decides it's not for him because plot, and goes back to engineering on the Enterprise
Kirk is shot on the bridge and dies
Kirk gets better
They watch 3D holos of old Doctor Who episodes in the Enterprise rec room
The Enterprise also has an AI named Moira, which was Zora long before Zora
The TOS crew get together for one last mission. About three times.
There's a Perry Mason book except it's about Kirk's lawyer from that TOS episode
Data 2.0 owns and runs a massive gambling empire on Orion
Spock keeps randomly showing up everywhere in the TNG era
Scotty keeps randomly showing up everywhere in the TNG era
Bones keeps randomly showing up everywhere in the TNG era
You're on Tumblr so you already know about Killing Time
There's a guy named McKenzie Calhoun and he's a total badass and captains a ship of weirdos and misfits
Kirk comes back from the dead, saves the galaxy repeatedly, has an intersex child (who identifies as male) with a Romulan/Klingon hybrid
Kirk beats up Worf
Kirk's child has superpowers
Kirk's child saves the galaxy at age 6
The Kirk stuff is 100% ignored in the other novels
About 50% of the novels are ignored in the other 50%, and the ones that are meant to be in direct continuity with each other aren't always quite
Just like the TV shows and movies, then
Lwaxana Troi meets Q, and it goes as well as you'd expect
Someone tells Data, yes you idiot you had emotions all along and he's like, oh shit you're right
McCoy is left in command of the Enterprise as a joke by Kirk, who is then immediately kidnapped
Ro Laren is captain of Deep Space Nine
Picard/Beverly is a thing, they get married and have a child named Rene. No running away and raising your kid in secret here
Riker and Troi are married, serve on the Titan together with a bunch of adorable weirdos and have a daughter named Tasha
You get to watch all the 24th century characters die horribly in the end along with their entire universe. Holy fuck it's a bleak horror show. Personally, I love it. But if that's not your cup of tea I'd skip the Coda trilogy
2K notes · View notes
ghcstpyre · 8 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
PINKIE SWEAR.
*•.¸♡ ted "theodore" logan x f!reader
PART ONE. ted is still a virgin. you offer to change that.
contents: virgin!ted, afab!reader, a bit of fluff, angst if you squint, post-excellent adventure, pre-bogus journey, drug use (weed), fingering (f receiving), oral (m receiving), slight praise kink, unprotected p in v sex. MINORS BEGONE!
word count: 7.5k
a/n: after sitting in my drafts for 2 months, it's finally here! i'm so excited to get this one out of my brain and into writing and i really hope you enjoy reading it as much as i've enjoyed/am going to enjoy writing it! :)
taglist: @scarlettspectra
Tumblr media
The thick smell of weed hung heavy in the air of Bill and Ted's apartment, its source pinched between your index and middle finger. You'd perched yourself atop the kitchen countertop in one of the few un-cluttered spaces, lazily toking from the joint in your hand.
It was evening in the middle of July and the colours of the sunset shone through the little window opposite you, bathing the messy kitchen in a gold and orange glow. You and Ted had forgotten to crack open a window before you lit up, but by the time either of you had realised you were both too baked to care and the damage had already been done.
Ted was sat on the sofa, his old acoustic guitar in his hands, fingers plucking away an unknown tune. Or maybe it was a tune you should know, but the fingers on the strings were too inexperienced for you to be able to tell what it was. His guitar playing skills had improved somewhat since the History Report fiasco, but not by a huge margin.
You thought that having a literal princess as a girlfriend to impress would help spur him on, and for a time it had done, but you'd noticed Ted becoming more withdrawn since his relationship with Elizabeth had ended. He 'd been pretty torn up over it at the time, but it had been over a month now since they ended things on friendly terms and you'd picked up on his change in demeanor.
It felt cruel, but you couldn't say you were too heartbroken for Ted when he broke the bad news to you. The thick, green worm of jealousy had wriggled its way under your skin and buried itself within your chest the moment Ted introduced Elizabeth to you as his girlfriend. It had been festering there ever since, making its nest within your heart.
Of course, it was your own fault for realising your feelings for Ted a little too late. Everyone always said 'better late than never', but you didn't think you could apply it to the crappy situation you found yourself in.
But now Ted was single again. It seemed the universe had decided to give you another chance.
Slowly, you tilted your head to the side, dragging your gaze away from the view of the sunset to look at the object of your affection. He'd gone from plucking the strings to strumming them listlessly, clearly a million miles away.
Your whole body thrummed with the buzz of your high, a faint ringing in your ears. You knew you were high as hell - it felt like your skull had been stuffed full of cotton wool and your eyes were heavy, sclera tinted red and lids droopy.
As heavy as your eyes felt, you managed to drag your gaze across Ted's form. His mop-like, dark brown hair had fallen into his face like it usually did, but the blazing glow of the sunset shining through the living-room window cast an orange halo around his head, making him look almost angelic. The usual chocolate hues of his eyes were glittering hazel as he sat with the guitar in his hands, basking in the warmth of the setting sun.
Your eyes followed the movements his large hands made on the strings and fretboard of the beat-up guitar. There were a few stickers littered around the front of its body, faded and torn with age, and scratch marks where someone had obviously tried to peel stickers off with little to no success.
For a brief moment, like you'd done so many times in the past, you imagined what it'd be like to have Ted's hands on your body, his fingertips rough and hardened from the strings of his guitars. That familiar and inevitable heat sparked in your core and you squeezed your thighs together against the slight pulsing between your legs.
"Hey," Your voice was mellow and slow as you tried to get Ted's attention. "You gonna help me smoke this or what?" You asked, holding the joint out in his direction.
Ted was promptly pulled away from his thoughts at the sound of your voice, hands ceasing their movements on the acoustic guitar as he looked over at you, and then at the smoke pinched between your fingers. A lopsided grin tugged at his lips. "Oh, yeah."
He set the guitar down next to him and pushed himself up from the dingy green sofa, the old springs within it groaning in protest at the sudden shift in weight. The soles of his white sneakers squeaked on the tiles of the kitchen as he eagerly stumbled his way from the living room, still feeling the effects of your last spliff.
His long fingers took the joint from your own and he settled opposite you, leaning up against the counter next to the sink, just in front of the fish bowl. He lifted it to his pink lips and took a nice, long drag, the cherry on the end burning as orange as the sunset. After a few beats of holding it in, Ted released the smoke in one long exhale, filling the space between you with a thick, pungent cloud.
The red basketball shorts Ted wore hung low on his hips, the waistband of his boxers poking out above them and concealing just below the bottom of his dark snail trail. You had to do your best to drag your eyes away from the mouth-watering view and instead focused your gaze on his chest. It wasn't any less tantalizing - his old San Dimas High School tank top was a little too small for him now and clung to his torso in all the right places, giving you a wonderful view of the slight muscle definition on his body and arms that he usually hid behind baggy t-shirts and jackets.
It wasn't until he'd said your name for a third time that you realised Ted was trying to get your attention. "You okay there dude?" He asked, genuine concern in his eyes, sclera just as bloodshot as yours and lids just as heavy.
You swallowed hard as you composed yourself, offering him a reassuring smile and hoping he hadn't caught you checking him out. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just really stoned."
Ted gave you an amused smirk in return, flashing you with a bright, toothy grin as he brought the joint to his lips once again. "Excellent."
You muffled a snort against your hand. The way Ted and Bill spoke was something you'd always found equal parts amusing and endearing. It was goofy, but somehow you felt it added to Ted's strange charm.
A soft padding could be heard below you as you lightly swung your legs back and forth, your heels knocking against the cupboard door as you watched Ted pull from the spliff. His features took on a somber edge and his eyes glazed over slightly, clearly miles away once again.
"Hey, Ted? Are you okay?" Your voice was soft, cautious almost, as you got his attention. "You've been kind of distant lately. I know breaking up with Elizabeth must've been tough but...do you wanna talk about it?"
He regarded you silently, pursing his lips a little with a slight furrow in his brow. Ted's gaze fell to his feet and he tapped the tips of his sneakers together. Eventually, he nodded. "...Yeah, " His voice was hoarse, almost like the word was a struggle for him to get out. "I think talking might do me some good."
It hurt seeing Ted so visibly deflated like this, but you were glad he was willing to finally open up about things - even if it did mean you had to listen to him pine over his ex. Still, more than anything you just wanted to be there for your friend, as a friend.
Ted offered you a grateful smile, the corners of his full lips quirking upwards beautifully. He reached out to pass you the joint and tingles ran up your arm as your fingers brushed his before taking the joint from him. He swallowed thickly, trying to figure out where and how to begin while he watched you fumble with the lighter, sparking the smoke up again and breathing new life into the cherry on the end.
"It's just...bogus, y'know?" He started, running a hand through his glossy hair. "Elizabeth was my first proper girlfriend - she, Bill, Joanna and I basically did everything together. Being with them was always a most excellent time."
You nodded along as he spoke, toking from the joint and turning your head away slightly to blow the smoke out, away from Ted's face. The green worm coiled around your heart squeezed.
"But now it's just the three of us and I'm a total third wheel all the time. Or - or it's the three of them, without me. Elizabeth said we're still friends but that she needs some time - which is perfectly okay, I mean, I'm not about to force things like a dickweed or something, but..." A long, frustrated sigh left his lips.
Ted already felt like a complete jackass for feeling this way about his friends, and even more so for complaining about them in the open like this. Friends weren't supposed to talk smack about each other behind their backs. He looked at you from beneath his long, dark lashes, almost like he was seeking your approval. He'd always had a nasty habit of second guessing himself - undoubtedly put there by his asshole of a father - but this was uncharted territory for him and he felt like a fish out of water.
Sensing his need for guidance, you tilted your head and offered him a sympathetic smile. "You miss your friends." You finished for him.
He nodded slowly, the tension in his shoulders he didn't even realise was there beginning to ease. "Yeah, exactly." He looked up at you properly, meeting your gaze. "It's why I'm most grateful for you offering to hang out so often since Elizabeth and I split. It's been a totally lonely time, but seeing you has made it a bit easier."
Your chest tightened and your heart stuttered. Of course you'd wanted to be there for Ted as he dealt with his first breakup, but you couldn't deny that there were selfish motivations lurking beneath your good intentions. Guilt mingled with the fluttering of your heart.
"I'm always gonna be there for you during your hours of need, dude." You smiled.
Ted watched as you puffed from the joint again and blew out the thick cloud through your plush lips. The smoke rising from the glowing cherry swirled as it hung in the air, twisting around you lazily like a living thing, high off its own fumes and glowing in the light of the sunset. His chocolate brown gaze dropped to the KISS logo plastered over the chest of the t-shirt you wore - his t-shirt that you'd stolen some time ago now.
Elizabeth always told him it was strange that he let you wear his clothes sometimes, but he never thought anything of it. It was only now, however, that he noticed just how much he liked it when you did.
Is that weird? Ted thought to himself. Since when did she get so...bodacious?
He'd always thought you were pretty, but there was something different about you that he'd started to notice. Ted found his gaze lingering on you longer than it should, sometimes on places he definitely shouldn't be looking at. Especially now with the light of the sunset setting the colour of your hair ablaze, his t-shit hanging comfortably on your body, and your summer short-shorts clinging to your upper thighs.
His eyes dropped a little lower as the comfortable silence you found yourself in stretched on a bit longer. He noticed the way the flesh of your thighs spread out on the countertop, the bare skin below your shorts sticking to the marble in the summer heat. Ted swallowed thickly before looking you in the eye once again.
You noticed the way his eyes trailed over your body but decided not to comment, despite the way your heart hammered in your chest. "Plus, I guess this makes band practice difficult. That's gotta be frustrating."
"Yes! God, yeah, it is most vexing." Ted looked at you like you'd just put everything he'd been feeling over the last few months into words. If he'd known how liberating it would be to vent his frustrations, he would've come to you to talk sooner. You always had a knack for finding the words to describe how he felt. "How is Wyld Stallyns gonna be the most triumphant rock band in history if we can't even practice?"
A giggle slipped past your lips, glad that he seemed to have perked up a little. Wyld Stallyns were terrible, but you'd supported them unconditionally no matter how bad they sounded. "Just give it more time, Ted. I promise you she'll come round and you guys will be able to practice and hang out again just like you used to. You're doing really well, just have a little more patience."
The idea of Elizabeth and Ted spending time together again didn't exactly fill you with glee, but you doubted they'd get back together - at least, not immediately. You hoped.
His eyes dropped to your thighs again as you passed the joint back to him, the tip of his tongue poking out to wet his lips. "There's...kinda something else that's been bugging me, but I don't know if I should..." Ted trailed off, a light pink hue rising to his cheeks.
"Go on," You urged, nodding at him to continue. If there was more weighing on him, you wanted to coax it out of him.
He avoided your gaze, eyes sliding off to the right. "Okay...y'know how Bill and I explained that the princesses are...chaste?" You nodded and hummed in understanding. "Well, it took me eighteen years to finally get a girlfriend. Now I'm twenty-three, single and there are things that most guys have done by now that I still haven't experienced." The embarrassment was evident on his face; he couldn't meet your gaze at all.
You simply blinked at him, processing his words. Then, the penny dropped. "You're a virgin?" Your mouth was blurting the words before you could stop them.
Ted's cheeks flushed crimson and he let out a frustrated groan. Although he completely respected Elizabeth's boundaries and was more than happy to have waited until marriage to finally experience the intimacy he craved, he couldn't deny that it had been a ball-ache - metaphorically and in some cases, physically. Bill had cracked a joke about their right hands being their second girlfriends; at the time Ted had found it funny, but now it just depressed and frustrated the hell out of him.
"No-!" He raised his voice slightly in defense, almost offended by the 'V' word. He shook his head. "-I mean yes? I mean-" The hand that wasn't holding the spliff reached up to drag his palm over his face as he visibly deflated. "It just sucks, dude. I feel super lame." He let out another long sigh, defeated.
Ted brought the joint to his lips, taking one final, long drag before stubbing it out in one of the nearby dirty mugs in the sink. He looked back down at his shoes again, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his shorts.
"Teddy, hey," The nickname caught his attention, but he didn't have the courage to meet your gaze just yet. You unstuck your thighs from the kitchen counter and hopped down, stepping forward to close the distance between the two of you. When he still refused to acknowledge you, you brought your hands up to rest on the sides of his exposed biceps and squeezed gently. "Teddy, look at me."
He hesitated for a moment before lifting his head to look at you and your sweet smile.
"You're not lame. Like, at all." You reassured him, your thumbs rubbing slow, comforting circles on his skin. "In fact, I think it's totally chivalrous of you to have waited for Elizabeth."
Ted tilted his head to the side like a confused puppy. "...You think so?"
Cute. You thought.
"Of course!" You smiled brightly at him, having to tilt your head up to look him in the eye. "Not many guys would do that. Most would just get bored and dump their girlfriend after a few weeks so they could go and get some."
His face soured at the notion. "Heinous."
You giggled and his expression immediately brightened as the sweet sound filled the kitchen, his dark hair falling into his eyes as he dipped his head down and chuckled. That was one thing he always liked about you - your laugh. Especially when he was the reason for it.
You retracted your hands from his arms and he mourned the loss of contact, his skin tingling where your thumbs had been circling.
"Besides, there's nothing bad about it. Everyone experiences things at different paces. Like, you smoked weed before I did." Your words had a small grin pulling at the corners of his mouth. "Do what you wanna do at your own pace and don't care about what anyone else thinks. Just because you haven't had sex yet doesn't make you any less of a catch."
He lifted his head to look at you again. "Thanks, babe. I really do appreciate it."
The bright expression on his face was the sign you needed to know you'd made him feel better, at least for the time being. The two of you stood there for a few moments, dissolving into stoned giggling. Ted's cheeks were flushed and his eyes shimmered with mirth, the sight being enough to make you swoon internally.
With the orange glow behind him, Ted looked like a dream. A dream you wanted to be a part of.
Hold on a moment. Did Ted call you babe?
An idea popped into your baked mind, head still hazy from the joint you'd just smoked. You weren't really sure if it was a good idea, but you figured if it all blew up in your face you could just blame it on the weed. The last thing you wanted to do was ruin the friendship you had with Ted, especially since his others were currently rocky, but you were high and you wanted him.
"Hey..." You started, your heartbeat picking up the pace. "...If you're still worried about that kind of stuff, I could help out."
Ted's giggles died down and he cocked his head at you in confusion once again. "Huh? What d'you mean?"
Of course he had to pick now to be dense. "Well, y'know..." You tilted you head forward and looked up at him from beneath your lashes, hoping he'd get the message.
His brows raised in recognition and he formed an 'o' with his lips before breaking out into a grin. "Ooohh, you wanna be my wingman?"
You scrunched your face up. "What? No."
"Then whaddya mean?"
"You know what I mean!"
"Babe, I have no idea what you're saying."
"Do you wanna have sex with me?"
The smoke still swirling between you seemed to freeze in place, your words hanging heavy between the two of you. You could feel how hot your cheeks were and you could hear your pulse thumping in your ears, but you were determined to hold his startled gaze.
Ted simply blinked at you, completely dumbstruck, the gears in his head whirring as he tried to process what you'd just said. He was struggling to comprehend if he had actually heard you correctly or not.
You worried your bottom lip between your teeth, chewing on the soft flesh nervously and your eyes were trained on his every movement like a hawk. His silence didn't comfort you and although it only lasted for a few moments, to you it felt like an age before he finally responded.
"I...uh...huh?"
Anxiety simmered in your stomach, threatening to bubble over into frustration. You were already embarrassed enough as is and Ted's utter confusion didn't help your hammering heart.
You breathed in slowly, trying to calm your nerves. "Do you wanna hook up?" A small, shy smile tugged at the corners of your lips. "With me?"
Ted's heart thumped rapidly beneath his tank top and your eyes followed his Adam's apple as it bobbed up and down. His hands trembled slightly within his pockets - equal parts nerves and desire. Ted was usually one to articulate himself using large, goofy hand gestures, but right now he was glad his hands were tucked away so you couldn't see how much his hands shook.
"Are you - are you serious?" He asked, his deep voice cracking adorably.
A few strands of hair fell into your face as you nodded, your fingers fiddling with the hem of your t-shirt. "Y-Yeah. I mean, we're both high, we're friends-" You swallowed thickly and wet your lips with the tip of your tongue. Ted's eyes followed the movement and you took a small step forward, "-You're cute...plus, it'll mean you'll have one less thing to worry about, right?"
His eyes flicked up to your eyes, down to your lips, then back to meet your gaze again. It didn't go unnoticed.
One of Ted's hands retracted from his pocket to reach out and gently brush away those fallen strands of hair from your face, tucking them behind your ear. You were sure then, if it could've done, your heart would've leapt right out of your chest and into his hand. Your breath hitched and your smile turned from shy to hopeful.
"I...yeah, I guess that makes sense." Heat rose to Ted's cheeks and his smile matched your own before faltering slightly. "But, won't it make things, like, totally weird between us?"
You shook your head. "Nah. I promise we'll still be friends afterwards." Lifting a hand, you wiggled your pinkie finger in front of him. "Pinkie Swear."
With a small, amused huff, Ted linked his little finger with yours and held it for a few beats before pulling you towards him using your pinkie. The hand that had remained inside his pocket moved to rest on the curve of your hip, his thumb rubbing your soft skin over the material of your top. Your own free hand came to tentatively rest on his chest.
Now that your hips were almost flush against his, and thanks to his loose-fitting shorts, you could feel his length pressed against your thigh. He was already a bit hard.
"Is that a yes?" Your voice was breathless as you asked, not expecting the sudden surge in confidence after his initial confusion and bashfulness.
Ted's voice was low and husky when he responded, his tone immediately causing heat to pool between your legs. He leaned in, plush pink lips only an inch away from yours.
"Hell yes."
Finally, Ted's lips captured yours in a kiss that, for you at least, felt like a long time coming. The nervous simmering in your tummy exploded in the form of happy fireworks as his lips moved slow and tender over your own, giddiness and lust threatening to take you over.
This was Ted's first time so you were determined to keep your own desires in check - to go at his pace.
His pinkie finger released yours in favour of snaking his hand around your neck to cradle the back of your head as he towered over you, lips still connected to yours. Your own hand lingered in place for a second before joining the other on his broad chest, savoring the feeling of his excited heartbeat against your palms.
You pulled away from each other for a moment to catch your breath. Ted's pupils were blown wide with desire, his deep brown eyes looking like inky black pools. Combined with the crimson hue blooming across his cheeks, your best friend looked absolutely delicious.
Neither you nor Ted could believe this was actually happening.
"Whoa..." A big, toothy grin spread across his freshly kissed lips.
You didn't even get a chance to respond before Ted's mouth descended upon yours again, this time with a little more urgency. The hand that gripped your hip circled around your waist to hold you tightly against him while his other threaded his fingers through your hair. You practically melted into him, raising onto the balls of your feet to wrap your arms around his neck and push him back against the counter behind him.
The ache between your legs urged you on. You traced your tongue along Ted's bottom lip, desperate for more. He was more than happy to oblige, parting his lips for you and letting out a soft groan as your tongue slid against his.
You were sure that that little sound was enough to send you to heaven. Or at the very least, would be living in your head rent free for the next...well, forever.
The inside of your mouth tasted like weed, smoke and the chocolate you'd snacked on earlier when the munchies hit, and Ted briefly wondered if there was any part of you in that moment that he didn't find completely intoxicating. Every kiss, every touch, every swipe of your tongue had his cock throbbing inside his shorts, straining against the fabric and aching for attention.
Without even realising it, Ted began grinding his rigid length against your thigh, pulling a little gasp from your lips. The friction paired with your tongue in his mouth was almost enough to make his toes curl in his sneakers.
Ted could count on one hand the number of girls he'd kissed, but this was by far the best kiss he'd ever had.
Why hadn't he done this with you sooner?
Sensing his need, you slid the palms of your hands down his torso to the waistband of his boxers. His breath hitched in his throat and his dick twitched with anticipation as you smiled against his plush lips, your fingers dipping just below the elastic to toy with the waistband.
"Can I touch you?" You breathed against his mouth, desperate to feel the size of him in your hands, in your mouth, and buried deep inside you.
Ted's eyes fluttered open and he nodded, letting out a shaky breath. "Y-Yeah."
In one swift motion you pushed down his boxers and shorts, letting them pool around his ankles as you sunk down to your knees. His cock sprung free, long with a thick vein running up the underside and a lovely pink head, a bead of precum already forming at the tip.
He was absolutely gorgeous. If you weren't wet before, you were surely soaking through your panties by now.
You reached your hands up to run your fingers down his flat stomach, trailing them over his cute snail trail and through the dark thatch of curls sitting above where you wanted to be most. He watched you the whole time through heavily-lidded eyes, his bottom lip caught between his pearly white teeth.
The sight of you on your knees before him was the hottest thing he'd ever seen and you hadn't even touched him yet.
Ted's whole body jolted as you wrapped a hand around his shaft, your other hand resting on his thigh. You gave his cock a few slow, long strokes, looking up and drinking in the sight of him as he gripped onto the edge of the kitchen counter and gazed down at the most excellent view of you with his dick in your hand.
The whimpers that escaped him were all the encouragement you needed. Without warning you leaned in to lick a hot, wet stripe up the underside of his shaft and press a kiss to his wet tip. Ted practically keeled over, inhaling sharply.
"You okay?" You asked, concern swimming with the lust in your eyes as you pulled back a little.
Ted nodded, the corners of his lips quirking upwards in a small, sheepish smile. "Y-Yeah, I'm good. Just wasn't, uh, expecting that."
You squeezed his thighs affectionately. "Want me to carry on?"
"God yes."
Having the go-ahead, you leaned in again and took the head of his throbbing cock into your mouth.
"Oh fuck."
Ted managed to release the vice grip he had on the countertop to thread his fingers through the hair on the top of your pretty head as you began bobbing your head, the other hand still gripping onto the counter for dear life. You took a little more of him into your mouth with each motion, swirling your tongue around the swollen head when you pulled back.
"Fuck babe, that feels so good."
The salty taste of his precum on your tongue sent bolts of heat straight to your core, now hyper aware of the aching need between your legs. Unable to handle it anymore, your spread your thighs apart and slid one of your hands into your shorts to rub slow circles on your clit through the damp fabric of your panties.
It was taking all of Ted's willpower and restraint to not buck his hips forward into the warm, wet heat of your mouth. The sight of you touching yourself as you sucked his dick was almost too much for him to handle and he had to clap the hand that white-knuckled the counter over his mouth to muffle the loud moan that slipped out.
His moan was like music to your ears. You needed to hear more. Steeling yourself, you pulled your wet lips off his cock with a pop, inhaled deeply, and then took his entire length down your throat. You squeezed your eyes shut as the coarse curls of his dark pubes tickled your nose and you moaned around his girth as your fingers worked on your sensitive bud.
"Oh shit," Ted practically yelled, throwing his head back and letting out a long, low groan of pleasure. His fingers tightened in your hair and his toes curled in his shoes as he desperately fought against the urge to cum down your throat there and then.
He pulled on your hair, gentle enough to not hurt you, but hard enough to get you to drag your mouth from his dick.
"Fuck babe - I almost came." Ted panted, completely breathless as you gazed up at him, tears pricking at the corners of your glassy eyes and your lips were red, swollen and shiny with spit.
He unthreaded his fingers from your hair to help you up to your feet and immediately pull you in for another kiss, each press of his lips harder and hungrier than the last. His hands were quick to find your hips and you gasped against his mouth as he squeezed them tight and kicked his boxers and shorts from around his ankles.
Ted began pushing you backwards until your lower back hit the edge of the counter. His irises were completely engulfed by his inky black pupils and his large hands slid up underneath your t-shirt, savouring the feeling of your soft skin beneath his palms as they travelled up your waist to your ribs.
His burning desire was swallowing him whole and he was acting purely on impulse. Ted had been worried he'd fumble this with his lack of experience, but judging by the way you responded to his advances and touches, it seemed that just letting go was working in his favour.
Before you could say anything Ted's lips were on yours again, his kisses absolutely feverous and starting to make your head spin. Just as you pulled away to catch your breath, his hands cupped your breasts and squeezed gently. Your head lolled back and you pushed your chest forward into the sensation, seeking more attention. Ted was more than happy to oblige, kneading the soft flesh of your tits beneath your top with his large hands.
You twitched and let out a needy whine when one of Ted's thumbs grazed over your nipple, his mouth swallowing that sweet sound. He pulled his lips away from yours to repeat the motion again, this time circling both his thumbs over your hard, sensitive nubs. Wonder swam in his jet black eyes as he watched you arch your back into his touch and gasp, unconsciously canting your hips into his and gripping onto his broad shoulders.
Your fantasies could never have prepared you for the real thing. The pads of his fingertips were hard and rough from the hours upon hours he'd spent almost every day pouring over his beloved Gibson, and they felt heavenly on your soft skin as they trailed down from your breasts to your hips once again.
"Can I...?"
Ted's voice was hoarse as he mumbled against your lips, his fingers toying with the button of your denim shorts as he pulled back slightly to meet your heavy gaze. He knew he'd need guidance for what came next and he prayed to the gods of music (Oh great god of metal, Mr Osbourne, dude...please don't let me fuck this up!) that you would be willing to help him out without too much judgement.
If you were to laugh at him, he was sure he'd shrivel up and die on the spot.
You blinked up at him and smiled, giving him the go-ahead with a confident nod. Despite the way his hands trembled, Ted popped open the button on your shorts and shimmied them down over your hips and thighs, taking your panties with them.
Rather than letting you step out of the material, Ted lifted you up to place you back in the space on the kitchen counter you'd been sat in before. The bright, toothy grin on your face told him that that was definitely the right move. He had a feeling that all those evenings spent watching raunchy rom-coms with Bill, Joanna and Elizabeth were going to come in handy.
Ted paused, his shoulders tensing. Wait, no. He shouldn't be thinking about Elizabeth right now.
He was promptly pulled from his thoughts by your legs hooking around his hips and pulling him into the space between your parted thighs, your hands finding their way to his broad shoulders once again.
"You okay?" You asked, sensing his hesitation.
It was incredibly difficult to ignore the press of his erection against your inner thigh, but you wanted to make sure he was still okay with what was happening between you before you went any further.
He nodded, albeit stiffly, and the tips of his ears burned hot. "Y-Yeah, just...I, uh, might need some help with this part."
The sweet smile that you gave him had his heart doing flips within his ribcage. "That's cool," You said, your fingers twirling in the incredibly soft, dark hair at the base of his skull as your voice took on a lighter tone. "I happen to be intimately familiar with myself so I'm really gonna be the best teacher you'll get right now."
Your words drew an amused huff from Ted and the tension in his shoulders eased off. "Awesome. So, um, how do you like to be touched?"
It was such an innocent question but it made your pussy throb something fierce.
You took one of his hands into your own and brought his thumb to your lips. Ted's eyes zeroed in on your mouth and he inhaled sharply as you sucked on it. You coated the appendage with spit before guiding it down to your clit, his head dipping as he followed your movements.
"Here," You shuddered as his callused pad pressed against your little bundle of nerves. "Start with slow circles."
Ted did as he was told and began moving his thumb in slow, steady circles over your clit, mesmerized by the sight and sensation of your sensitive flesh beneath his touch. The soft sighs of satisfaction coming from you spurred him on and he picked up the pace. His other hand moved back underneath your top to gently pinch your nipple.
You gasped and spread your legs further, scooting to the edge of the counter and seeking more of that delicious friction.
"Want your fingers in me, Ted."
Uncertainty and lust swam in his eyes as they snapped back to yours, his cheeks flushed a wonderful shade of pink.
"Don't worry," You comforted. "I'll guide you."
Doing his best to steady the tremble in his hand, Ted dragged his middle finger over your slick folds to gently rub at your entrance. The corners of his plush lips quirked upwards - you were so wet. Not just wet, you were soaked.
"Whoa, babe. You're totally dripping wet right now." Ted grinned, flashing you with a bright, toothy smile filled with pride.
Giddiness bubbled in your chest, delight rushing throughout your body and you curled your toes. You matched his grin. "Duh; my hot best friend is about to fuck me. Of course I'm wet."
He blinked at you owlishly and his cock twitched against your inner thigh. "...You think I'm hot?"
You hesitated before nodding. "I...have done for a while-"
Your confession was cut off by a gasp as Ted slid his finger inside you without warning. The walls of your pussy instinctively squeezed his long digit as he slowly pumped it in and out of you experimentally, his eyes on your face the whole time to check for any signs of discomfort.
"That's it," You breathed. "Now add another finger."
Ted savoured your praise did as he was told, pulling his hand back to push both his middle and ring finger into you. You moaned softly this time and lifted your knees to give him better access and a better angle, the slight stretch filling you will a little more satisfaction.
You'd gotten so used to the feeling of your own touch you'd almost forgotten what it felt like with someone else. God, you missed this.
"Ah!" Pleasure shot through your nerves when his long digits brushed against that sweet spot deep inside you. "There, Teddy - curl your fingers right there."
He pushed his fingers into you to the knuckles and curled them as you said, his calloused fingertips rubbing against your g-spot and pulling more delightful sounds from your lips as he fingered you. Ted could feel the way your walls clenched around his digits and the wet sounds of your soaking cunt taking his fingers so easily had him so hard it almost hurt.
Judging by your reactions he was pretty damn sure he was making you feel good, but he wanted to hear you say it - no, he needed you to tell him.
"Is that good?"
The doe-eyed look on his face paired with his fingers working you like magic was enough to make you whimper. He may not have been able to play the guitar that well, but he was playing your pussy well enough to have you singing.
"Y-Yes," You nodded as your thighs began to tremble. "Feels so fuckin' good, Teddy."
Ted couldn't hold on any longer. Retracting his slick digits from you, he dipped down to press a quick, searing kiss to your lips and then rest his forehead against yours.
"Babe, I gotta fuck you now."
"Please," You panted, hooking your legs around his hips once more as he reached down to line himself up with your entrance.
Ted looked into your eyes as if waiting for permission to go past the point of no return. You nodded in confirmation, your bottom lip caught between your teeth as your whole body buzzed with anticipation.
Slowly, Ted pushed his throbbing length inside you, inching in bit by bit as the wet walls of your pussy accommodated his size. Your fingernails left little crescent moon marks on his smooth skin as you gripped onto his broad shoulders, closing your eyes and doing your best to relax as he inched further in.
The low, loud grown from Ted made the sensation of his cock stretching you out all the sweeter. Your hot breaths mingled as Ted bottomed out, his hips flush against the soft skin of your inner thighs and his hands moved to rest on your hips.
The two of you stayed like that for a few moments, holding each other and unmoving. You expected Ted to begin thrusting not long after pushing all the way in, but he was as still as a statue for long enough that it had you concerned.
"Teddy?" You opened your eyes to look at him. "You good?"
There was clear concentration on his flushed face, mixed with something akin to frustration. His dark brows were furrowed with a deep crease etched between them and his ears burned hot with embarrassment.
"Ted? Are-"
"I'll bust if I move." He blurted, voice cracking.
You had to bite back against a laugh, thoroughly amused by his choice of words. How was it possible for Ted to still be adorable during a moment like this?
Ted inhaled deeply, trying to steady the rapid thumping of his heart. "Just - just gimme a sec."
It was incredibly hard to not think about the fact that he was balls deep inside you. The thought alone was enough to have Ted teetering on the edge. Your pussy was warm and wet and tight and unlike anything he'd felt around his dick before. Quite frankly he was amazed he'd even lasted this long.
After what felt like an age, Ted let out a shuddering breath and pulled his hips back slowly before pushing into you again. You sighed, relief and pleasure flowing through your veins as he finally gave you that much needed friction your body craved so desperately.
His large hands gripped your hips tight as he thrusted in and out of you, keeping the pace slow and steady - mostly for his own sake - while his confidence gradually increased with each little pleasured sound that fell from your lips.
"Fuuuuck Ted, that's it," You praised him as he picked up the pace, the two of you becoming lost in your combined pleasure. "That's it, you're fucking me so good - Ah!"
Ted's hips suddenly snapped forwards, slamming the full length of his cock into you and filling your cunt to the brim. Your wet walls throbbed around him as the head hit that wonderful little spot inside you and your fingers gripped at the soft hair on the back of his head.
"Shit, sorry-"
Your mouth swallowed his apology in a hot, open mouthed kiss. Ted was quick to reciprocate, groaning as you nipped and sucked on his bottom lip.
"Do that again."
That was all he needed to hear. The lewd sounds of skin slapping against skin bounced off the kitchen walls as Ted pumped his dick in and out of you, the sensitive skin glistening with your slick arousal. He did his best to angle his thrusts so that he was hitting that spot that had you clawing at his back and moaning his name, desperately wanting to make you feel good as he chased his own release.
"God babe - ngh - pussy's so fuckin' tight," One of his hands relinquished the vice grip it had on your hip to slide back under your t-shirt and grab your breast and squeeze. "Feels too good, fuckin' excellent, m'gonna - mmnh - gonna cum soon."
You reached a hand down between your spread legs to rub your swollen clit, aching for attention as that familiar heat began to coil in your abdomen, tighter and tighter as you neared your peak.
"Me too Ted, m'so close - so fucking close-"
The coil inside you snapped.
"Teddy!"
Your body shook and your eyes rolled to the back of your head as your orgasm hit you, pleasure coursing through your veins in heavy waves. Ted's thrusts became sloppy while he fucked you through your climax, the feeling of your pussy clenching around him as you came on his cock being too much for him to handle.
"Shit babe, gonna cum-"
With a low, loud groan, Ted pulled out of you and gripped his throbbing length. After a few quick pumps of his fist, he spilled his cum over your skin, coating the soft swell of your lower tummy and the hem of your top in pearly white ropes.
The two of you stayed silent as you caught your breath, chests heaving. You let your legs drop and Ted placed his large hands on your thighs, steadying himself as his own legs threatened to give out from under him as he came down from his high.
Nervous bubbles began to simmer in your stomach as you watched Ted through lidded eyes. How would Ted feel about you now? Would this change things between you? And most importantly: Would he regret it?
Just as you opened your mouth to speak, a small smile tugged at the corners of Ted's kiss-swollen lips.
"Now that," He met your gaze. "was most excellent."
A bright smile broke out across your face and your heart did flips, giddiness shooting right down to the tips of your toes. "Agreed. You feel a bit better now?"
You watched Ted closely as he took a step back and bent down to shimmy his boxers and basketball shorts back up his long legs, before retrieving your own shorts and panties from the kitchen tiles and holding them out to you with a smile that shone with earnestness.
"Definitely."
338 notes · View notes
cruelsummergorl · 2 years ago
Text
Adding a few more to the list:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
And although not a brunette, I would throw myself off of a bridge into a snake pit just to see their hair fall off their shoulder as they laughed at a joke someone told about me, where I was the butt of the joke
Tumblr media
Me: I dont have a type
My celebrity crushes:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
127 notes · View notes
theverystrangegirl27 · 8 months ago
Text
˚‧꒰ა♡໒꒱‧˚ Love Me ˚‧꒰ა♡໒꒱‧˚
Tumblr media
summary: Bill and Ted find out no one has ever made you come before, and they aim to fix that
Warnings: smut, threesome, oral (f receiving)
Tumblr media
“No one's ever made you come before?”
Ted asks, exasperated.
Mortified, you shake your head no.
“Bogus.” Bill declares, eyebrows furrowed in thought.
You couldn't pinpoint the exact moment your innocent conversation about music had turned into a conversation about your lack of orgasms, but here you are, sitting in Bill and Ted's small apartment with an unopened Metallica album in your lap.
Ted's still looking at you in disbelief, eyebrows disappearing behind his shaggy dark hair and his lips parted.
“Like, never?”
Okay, this is getting a little ridiculous. You roll your eyes, setting the album back into its crate.
“I mean, it's not like I've never come before.” You huff, and that blue stain on the carpet is suddenly very interesting.
“Just, no one makes me come like me, y'know?” You shrug your shoulders, looking up through your lashes to find the two boys stuck staring at you.
There's a shift in the room, the atmosphere filled with this strange sexual tension that you're not used to having with these two.
Bill looks at Ted, Ted looks at Bill, and they both grin. Somethings been passed between the two of them, and you can't help but feel a little left out.
You frown, looking between the two of them.
“What?” You ask, a little self-conscious all of a sudden.
You feel too bare in your tank top, the urge to shrug your flannel back over your shoulders overwhelming.
Bill looks at you with a smile, white teeth on display, and a playful look in his eyes.
“Y/N, we've just had the most excellent idea.”
“Yeah,” Ted agrees, a twin smile on his own face.
You tilt your head, resting back on your hands.
“And your idea is…?” You ask, raising your eyebrows.
“We're gonna make you come!” Ted exclaims, over-eager as always.
Your eyes practically bulge out of your head.
“Huh?” You exclaim, flustered. Your cheeks get hot, and the air in the room feels way too warm.
“C'mon Y/N,” Bill starts leaning forward with his elbows on his knees.“You're like, a total babe! We wanna help.”
You feel a flutter of affection shoot through your heart at his words, and you take a moment to really look at Bill.
His legs are spread from where he's sitting on the couch, expression earnest as ever. Those pretty blue green eyes of his hold no hint of malice, no sign that this is all some elaborate prank.
You swallow, not sure how to respond.
“Uh, only if you're okay with it, though.” Ted adds, mistaking your expression for subtle rejection.
You blink a couple of times, biting your lip as you think on it. Would it really be so bad? Two of your closest friends learning your body, helping you come?
The idea sends a pleasant thrill up your spine, and you break into a shy smile.
“Okay,” you begin. “But I wanna do it on a proper bed, not in the living room.”
The boy's look incredibly pleased, sending each other wide smiles as they air guitar. You shake your head, impossibly endeared.
Once you've made your way to the bedroom- deciding on Bill's bed because it's the least cluttered- Ted puts on a tape, loud guitars and heavy drums filling the room.
You throw your flannel to the ground, left in jeans and your tank top. Leaning back on the bed, you flip your hair over one shoulder.
Bill, eyes wide and a dopey, sweet smile on his face, approaches you first.
“Just relax, babe. We'll take care of you.”
He leans forward, hand coming to cup your face as he pulls you into a kiss.
Your fingers grip the comforter beneath you as you lean into the kiss, eyes fluttering shut.
Bill spreads your legs so he can stand between them, one knee bent on the bed as he pushes you back against the mattress.
Kissing Bill is a lot sweeter than you imagined, his usual laid back, charming demeanor changing into something softer.
Out of the two, Ted's always been the romantic, but it seems that Bill has a side of himself he's never shown to you.
How lucky, you think, that he's giving that to you now.
Moved by your own analysis, you move a hand to the back of his head to pull him back with you, his body pressing you gently into the sheets. You tangle your fingers in his curls, licking into his mouth with a muffled sigh.
His hand slips to your waist, fingers splayed across your midriff underneath the tank top.
“Woah,” you hear Ted breathe from where he stands at the foot of the bed.
Bill and you break for air, just looking at one another for a moment before you glance over his shoulder at Ted.
“C’mere, Ted.” You call to him softly, stroking at the nape of Bill's neck as he kisses at your collarbones.
It's so easy with these two - you feel yourself getting wet as Bill pushes your tank top up and over your breasts, lips trailing down the soft skin there.
Usually, you're never this worked up so early, but something about these boys drives you crazy.
Ted moves to your side, leaning over you to kiss you. He's a little clumsy with it, sweet in a way that makes your heart flip around in your chest. You smile as you pull away, looking into his dark, lust blown eyes before leaning back in.
Bill makes a soft noise from below, having exposed you nipples to the cool air of their bedroom.
“You've got like, the best tits babe.” Bill says, making you laugh a little as Ted settles in beside you.
“Totally,” Ted agrees, one hand coming down to toy with your right nipple.
You sigh, watching the both of them as Bill kisses down your chest, hands unzipping your jeans and getting a hand down the front of them.
“You know what would be sick?” Ted says, voice a little rough. “If you got ‘em pierced.”
Bill, momentarily distracted by Ted's comment, looks up with a wide grin.
“Dude, that's an excellent idea!” He exclaims, and you squirm a little to get their attention back on you, sitting up a little to shrug your tank top off fully.
“Bill, baby,” you intone sweetly, batting your eyes. “Could you help me with my jeans please?”
Bill goes kind of soft, eyes molten with lust as he swallows.
“Fuck, sure thing babe.”
What follows next is the quick zip of your fly, and you lift your hips as he drags them down your legs.
You sigh, head rolling onto Ted's shoulder when Bill presses soft, sweet kisses to your panties. His lips are warm over the fabric, and your breath hitches as he hooks a finger in the waistband of your panties and pulls them down.
“Bill's really good at giving head,” Ted says, pressing a kiss to your temple. “It's his favorite.”
“Yeah?” You breathe, eyes wide as Bill looks up at you through his lashes, lips pressing a kiss to the inside of your thigh.
���Oh yeah,” Ted says. He's holding you close, fingers toying with one nipple. “You're gonna love it.”
You scoff, face flushed with anticipation.
“We'll see.”
Bill, taking this as a challenge, smiles against your skin. He gets both hands under your hips, pulling your pussy to his mouth in one fell swoop.
You yelp as your lower body shifts and your head lands in Ted's lap.
Dark, lust blown eyes blink down at you, Ted's hair falling into his eyes a little as he smiles.
You bend your neck to look at Bill, ready to chastise him, but all that comes out of your open mouth is a gasp as Bill's tongue swipes over your clit.
He's so gentle with it, lips soft and firm, where they press against your heated flesh. Two blunt fingertips trace your entrance, gathering the wetness there and only just dipping inside.
You find yourself curling your fingers into Ted's jeans, hips twitching a little as Bill suckles a little on your clit.
Most guys you've been with hardly know what the clit is, let alone know where it is.
Bill, on the other hand, looks entirely focused on giving you the best head of your life, brow furrowed as he mouths at your cunt sweetly.
Ted leans down, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
“Told you he's good.”
You can't respond, lost in the way Bill's fingers move within you. He curls them up, hitting something inside of you that makes your toes curl.
You move to grip his curls with one hand to ground yourself, tilting your head back.
Bill hums against your cunt, content to stay down there forever, and you wouldn't complain if he did.
Ted's playing with your hair, peppering light kisses across your forehead. You can feel how hard he is beneath you, and you open your eyes to look at him.
He's looking at you like you're the best thing he's ever seen, the only thing he wants to see for the rest of your life.
It makes your heart swell and your pussy throb, arching your back a little when Bill curls his fingers up.
He groans against your pussy, low and aroused at the very taste of you. You can't believe this- no man has ever made you feel this good.
“Fuck,” You whimper, Bill's slow and steady pace picking up a quick, pulsing rhythm that leaves your thighs shaking.
“I'm gonna come” you breathe, disbelief lacing your tone as you stare up at Ted with big, watery eyes.
He strokes your hair, fingers trailing down the side of your face.
“Yeah, babe?” Ted asks sweetly, tongue darting out to lick at his lips. “Fuck, I bet you're even prettier when you cum.”
You can't focus, your mouth falling open, back arching, fingers scrabbling for purchase in the sheets.
“Bill, Bill, oh my god-” Is all you're able to get out as your thighs clench around his ears, your pussy pulsing as you come on his fingers and tongue.
You're shaking, eyes closed tight as Ted presses a kiss to your forehead, sweet nothings tumbling out of his mouth.
Bill fingers you through it, kissing the inside of your thigh as those pretty blue eyes look up at you, a self-satisfied smirk settling across his lips.
When you finally open your eyes, Bill's leaning over you, a hand coming to cup your chin.
“Was that good, babe?” He asks, searching your face.
You're still panting a little, and you can't help yourself as you throw your arms around his neck and kiss him hard.
Tasting yourself on his lips is hotter than you expected.
You break for air, sitting up and in Ted's lap, whose hard as fuck in his jeans.
You lick your lips, looking between your boys.
“I'm gonna make both of you come so hard.” You say, a mischievous grin on your face.
Bill and Ted look at each other, then back to you.
“Excellent!”
163 notes · View notes
discoscoob · 16 days ago
Text
⋆⭒˚.⋆ ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
˙ ✩°˖🎄⋆。˚ Ted Logan x Reader
Tumblr media
KEANUVERSE SECRET SANTA: My contribution to @faerl’s Keanuverse secret santa project for my giftee @scarlettspectra! 🎁
Tumblr media
SAN DIMAS, CHRISTMAS EVE 1992
Below a slanting ‘Merry Christmas’ banner, Ted is sprawled across the well worn, pre-loved couch, his long, gangly frame fitting awkwardly. Mismatched socked feet dangle over the edge of the armrest, while his arms drape snuggly around your waist as you nestle peacefully across his body with your head tucked under his chin. A santa hat sits askew atop his unruly dark locks that have fallen over his sleeping face.
You sniffle as the framed photo begins to gently blur from the gathering tears clouding your vision. Bill had captured the candid moment of you and Ted having a post Christmas dinner nap. How you wish you could travel back to that precious moment, nuzzled comfortably in Ted’s warm embrace. Of course, afterward, Bill had taken a permanent marker to both your faces, leaving the two of you with drawn-on moustaches until the new year — it earned Ted some strange glances when he served customers at Pretzels ‘n’ Cheese.
Carefully returning the photo to its pride of place on your nightstand, you pick up the mixtape Ted sent you. The hand drawn candy canes, forming the shape of a love-heart on the cover, brings a watery smile to your lips — reminding you how much thought he puts into even the simplest of gestures. The smooth melody of Please Come Home for Christmas by Charles Brown drifts from the cassette player and seeps straight into your aching heart, stoking the heavy swell of longing that presses against your chest.
Yesterday, Ted called you from a payphone at Fairbanks Airport with the devastating news that a blizzard was grounding all the flights, forcing him to holdover at the military base in Alaska for the holidays.
The moment you pressed the phone to your ear and he uttered your name in a quiet quiver, you knew something was wrong. Your heart sank like a boulder. He sounded so defeated. The two of you had exchanged stacks of letters filled with plans and promises of making the most of your time together over the holiday season, hoping to compensate for the months spent apart. Now, you can’t even talk to him over the phone because the lines are down.
You haven’t physically seen him since he left for military school in the spring — the longest the two of you have ever been apart since you met in high school. Both you and Bill had begged him not to go, insisting that you were happy to support him as he couch-surfed between your place and Bill’s dad’s after his own father flat-out refused to take him back in. That refusal came after he and Bill got evicted from their apartment for falling behind on the rent.
At that time, it felt like one knock back after another. With the band going nowhere, no matter how hard they tried, Ted couldn’t shake the feeling that he was a burden and a failure. His father’s relentless words would echo in the back of his mind, always there to remind him he would never amount to anything.
It had all come to a head one night after yet another failed audition to get on the bill at some music club. That’s when Ted ran into Colonel Oats. The man barely had to say a word — just a gruff “it’s not too late” — and something inside Ted broke. He was so beaten down, so full of self-doubt, that he thought it might be his only option left. A week later, he was packing for Alaska.
You had wept your heart out — not only for the fact that Ted would be miles away, but for how beat down he must’ve felt to even consider leaving in the first place. You had let him down. You hadn’t reminded him enough of how incredible he was. You hadn’t defeated his father’s voice in his head. You felt like a terrible girlfriend.
You cross the room, switch off the cassette player, and eject the mixtape just as the opening notes of Darlene Love’s Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) start playing. Ironically, most of the songs Ted had chosen were about longing for loved ones to be home for the holidays, and with him stormbound in Alaska, they’ve become unbearable to listen to.
Your doorbell chimes and you quickly check your reflection in the mirror above your dresser. Puffy red eyes stare back at you with glistening tears reflecting the glow of twinkling Christmas lights, you soak them up on the sleeve of your sweater in vain as more soon gather.
As soon as you open the door, a hard chest ploughs into you, almost knocking you off balance until a pair of strong arms swoop you off your feet — all before you even get a good look at your visitor. You would have kicked and screamed if it weren’t for the sweet scent of blue raspberry swaddling your senses, Ted’s favourite candy, inviting you to sink into his sturdy embrace.
With all the enthusiasm of a boisterous Great Dane, blissfully ignorant of its own colossal size and strength,
Ted clutches you tightly against him, his arms noticeably bulkier than the gangly limbs you recall.
He burrows his face into the curve of your neck as you cradle the back of his head, eager to delve your fingers into his thick tousled mane. Instead, they stroke over smooth, freshly chopped strands. You falter briefly, before pulling back to get your first proper look at him since he arrived on your doorstep.
“Your hair…” you blink, momentarily stunned as you drink in the sight of him. Where an unruly mop of tousled locks once sprouted and tumbled over his eyes, there’s now a military buzz cut, clipped uniformly to reveal the sharp angles of his face and stubble-dusted jaw.
You didn’t intend for that to be the first thing you said to him after all this time apart, it tumbled out before you could stop it. You wince, realising how many other things you could have — no, should have — said instead.
“You hate it.” Ted’s broad grin falters as he sheepishly rubs the nape of his neck, dipping his gaze to the floor, clearly self-conscious.
Your lips part, and you quickly shake your head, your heart hammering at the thought he might believe you could hate anything about him.
“You… your ears will get cold.” you caress his jaw, noticing the reddened tips of his ears.
Your concern eases his pink lips into a coy smile as he leans his rose-tinted cheek into your warm palm.
“Mhm… then you’d best let me in before I turn into a popsicle or something.”
Wrapping your fingers around the edge of his jacket, you tug him inside as he kicks the door shut against the cold with the heel of his combat boot. He eases his bass guitar case carefully against the wall and shrugs his heavy duffle bag off his shoulder, letting it thud softly to the floor.
“I don’t understand…” you step back deeper into the living room, still tugging Ted along with you. “How did you get here? I thought the flights were grounded.”
“Santa’s sleigh!” he jokes with a giggle, ducking his head to pepper kisses across your cheeks and forehead. His enormous hands hold you steady while his eyes sparkle with delight.
You’ve always known Ted to be affectionate — it’s undeniable that physical touch is his love language. But even by his standards, there’s a noticeable shift. As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder — and in Ted’s case, bolder. His once restrained and hesitant displays of affection, shaped by his benign nature and lack of experience, have given way to a liberated eagerness to show you just how much he’s missed you.
“There’s this, like, total rich dude at school,” he pauses just long enough to rest his forehead against yours. “His dad’s some mayor or something, like, really important. He managed to pull a few strings and got a private jet to fly him out.”
He tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear, his dilated pupils flicker to your neck. “And… he offered me a ride.”
“Wait…” there’s a noticeable flutter in your voice when he starts kissing the side of your neck, sending pleasant shivers down your spine. “A private jet?”
“Hm-hm…” his warm breath fans across your skin and you feel his lips twitch into a smile. “Felt like a total rockstar.”
Ted raises his head with a softening expression. “I missed you.” he murmurs, his doe eyes briefly meeting yours with timid sincerity, before dropping back to the carpeted floor.
“I missed you too, Ted. So much.” gently, you curl your forefinger under his chin, giving him a soft nudge to lift his head. As he looks up, you lean in and press a tender welcome home kiss to his lips.
˙ ✩°˖🎄⋆。˚
Cocooned by Ted’s impressive wingspan, his chin hooks over your shoulder as his nimble fingers flit across the fretboard with a newfound ease. No longer is he serenading you with out-of-tune melodies or clumsy, off-beat riffs. Now, you’re motivated to softly sing along to the unmistakable, toe-tapping groove of one of your favourite songs.
The fluidity of his precise and controlled movements are so captivating, you’re locked in an almost hypnotic trance as your gaze lingers on his long and skilful fingers. The dedication he must’ve poured into practicing during his downtime at military school is remarkable, however, your unrestrained mind is soon bombarded with vivid images of all the possible ways you could reap the benefits of his enhanced dexterity.
Regrettably, the visions only intensify when he gently guides your far less experienced fingers along the neck of his bass while his breath tickles along the shell of your ear with soft-spoken instructions. You gulp, noticing that it’s not just the calloused tips of his fingers that are new. A fresh scar cuts across the back of his hand, presumably left behind by the whip of a snapped string — a subtle badge of honour to his devotion and passion for music.
Unfortunately, a dark cloud lingers at the back of your mind, casting a shadow over the moment, reminding you of how fleeting it is. When the new year arrives, Ted will return to Alaska and you won’t see him again until blossoms bloom on the trees and rainbows are painted across the sky after sunshowers. While you want to be content and savour the moment, there’s a throbbing ache in your chest that is impossible to ignore, it snatches your focus and prevents you from fully appreciating the time you have together.
“Babe, you totally keep zoning out.” Ted teases, cutting through your spiralling thoughts to pull your focus back to the present.
“Huh?” you freeze, trying to buy yourself some time to come up with an excuse by feigning confusion. You’re already working on eradicating whatever outward expression you were wearing as you nose-dived through the whirlwind of trepidation.
Your Ted, ever patient and sweet, sets his bass aside with care to give you his undivided attention, attentively settling his now-empty hands lightly on your knees.
“Something’s wrong. What is it?” he coaxes, his brows scrunching with concern.
You rearrange your face into a smile, trying to alleviate that heavy pressure in your chest.
“I’m just distracted by how skillful you’ve become with your fingers now.” you tease, your smile turning cheeky as you take his larger hand in your own, pressing your lips to his calloused tips.
“Oh…” Ted gulps, his cheeks tingeing pink as he shyly averts his gaze. Even after all these years together, Ted still becomes a flustered puppy at the slightest hint of suggestiveness.
In the background, Die Hard plays on the staticky TV. Neither of you have been paying much attention, but just as Hans Gruber plummets from the window of Nakatomi Plaza, Ted blurts out, "I'm not going back to Alaska in the new year."
Your head snaps toward him, your wide eyes meeting his as your mouth falls agape.
"What?"
"I'm not going back," he repeats, and the weight of his words settles over you like the warmest blanket, replacing the suffocating mass of anxiety that had been choking you moments before.
Your face eases into a genuine, uncontainable smile as your heart leaps weightlessly in your chest. You throw your arms around him, nearly knocking him across the couch in your excitement. “I’m so relieved you’re not leaving. I couldn’t bear saying goodbye again.”
“Me neither.” Ted mirrors your smile as he secures his arms around you properly, but there’s a slight shadow in his expression — something else lingering unsaid.
“There’s, uh… there’s more,” he says, tugging himself back but keeping his hands on your shoulders.
“More?”
“I’ve um… like put in an application to the LAPD.” the excitement bubbling in your chest is replaced by confusion.
"Wait. You want to be a cop?"
Ted nods slowly.
"Like... your dad?"
Ted looks startled, his brows shoot up and he waves his hands as if trying to manually wash away the thought from your mind.
“Woah, no way! That, like- he has nothing to do with it. I mean, I don’t care about what he thinks anymore. It’s… I dunno-” he looks down at his lap, his shoulders lifting slightly in a small shrug. “I had a lot of time to think in Alaska and… I guess I was actually pretty good at some of the stuff they taught us… for the first time in forever, I felt like I wasn’t flailing around trying to figure out what I’m supposed to do with my life. And maybe… maybe I could use that to help people… like be a hero or something.”
You tilt your head as his words settle over you, still processing them. Despite his sincerity, apprehension lingers. You can’t shake the worry that he might be rushing into something else he feels he has to do — just like he did with military school. "But... the LAPD?"
"Yeah." His gaze softens, and his lips curve into that sweet, earnest smile that always makes your heart flutter. "I don't want to go all the way back to Alaska. I can't stand the thought of being away from you again until the spring. If I stay in LA, I'll be much closer… and maybe…” he pauses, his smile turning hopeful. “Maybe you could even come with me…”
Your breath hitches at his words and the endearing sight of his hopeful smile. You don’t even question the thought of uprooting your life to follow Ted, there’s no doubt in your mind, your heart belongs with his. Before you can respond, his hand drifts up to play with a strand of your hair, idly twirling it around his finger as he gazes at you, his voice softening.
“I know it’s a lot to think about, you don’t have to decide anything right now.”
“I’d follow you anywhere, Ted.” you assure him, needing no time to make up your mind.
Ted’s face lights up brighter than the Christmas lights.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
He pulls you into his arms again, his fingers threading through your hair with care. You close your eyes, nestling into the crook of his neck as Ted tucks his head against your shoulder.
Tumblr media
Credit to @scarlettspectra for the headcanon that Jack Traven is older Ted if he was sent to military school. I love that headcanon so much and I had to steal it writing this so technically this is a little bit of a pre-speed Jack fic too. Chopping off Ted’s floppy hair did hurt me though 😔
My little easter egg is that the rich kid who’s father is the mayor is Scott Favor who was forced to go to military school if he wanted to receive his inheritance
Tumblr media
63 notes · View notes
musicaljam · 12 days ago
Text
UHH DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO POST BUT ATLEAST ONE PERSON APPRECIATES MY POSTS SO:
Headcanons for starkid characters!!
Ruth:
-When she was younger she was one of the wisemen in a nativity and she fell over so horrifically she's sworn she'll never act again (will be broken)
-Ruths a theatre kid, her favourites include Grease, Starlight Express and Mean Girls
-Harasses richie and pete into matching costumes for stuff, once they dressed up as a spoon fork and knife and its probably why they're bullied. /j
-Has hidden in the changing rooms in more than one occasion (Grace pulls her out before she can see anything)
-Her favourite scent is Lavender, OBNOXIOUSLY SO. you go into her house and you will just get with a wave of lavender in your face
Lex:
-She was introduced to Big Bang theory by.. someone?? (Tony) and she hates how much she likes, her favourite is Leonard.
-Has a habit of keeping doors unlocked, the trailer lock is broken so shes just not used to it, Ethan has to check everytime she comes over
-..Ted is Lex's dad (you didnt see this)
-Her music taste is primarily decades old songs and a mix of ethan and hannahs music, i have a playlist.
- AUTISM, i may be biased because i love her but if hannahs autistic she's autistic, obviously she masks a lot and shes gotten used to sensory issues because of being poor
- Will give up anything for Hannah, if theres barely any food available she'll give it to hannah, shes always Lex's first priority
Bill:
-Has emotionally adopted most of the younger kids, his doors always unlocked to give the kids food and support (Alice is sad and jealous)
-Has a puppy called Kitty. it was for Alice when she came over but he adores her and spends half of his money on Kitty
-Also watches big bang theory! Who can blame him though he's an old man, his favourite is Penny!
-Unnaturally strong, can pick up everyone in CCRP so he always offers to help move around heavy stuff, he goes above and beyond except for that one time he broke his foot
-Has so many family board games its sad, they never get used so one time on his birthday his Charlotte paul and ted all played some of them with him and he lowkey actually cried
49 notes · View notes