#editing fics on this website is so annoying omg

[pointbreakvhs]

Gamble

Guard!Ted "Theodore" Logan X Player!fem!reader genre : angst a/n: this is a Squid Game AU. It randomly came into my mind when I was watching an episode of season 2 yesterday.

Ted Logan’s mind was all over the place. He wanted to avoid your worried eyes, he’d always hated that expression on your face. If he were some sadist, he'd have relished every second of it. Yet, he was not. He knew he was soft. His father never missed any opportunity to remind him that. A frustrated frown etched in his features. He couldn't bear the thought nor the sight of you being in such distress, especially in such a stupid game. He removed his guard helmet, planting his deep honey brown eyes into yours, dark brown bangs grazing his pale skin in the process. Then, he read shock and surprise on your face as you brought one shaking hand to your lips, your form shaky.

“...Please, don't be afraid. It's just me.”

How could he explain it to you? That he wasn’t just here for himself, but for Bill too? Bill had gotten tangled in some bad deals, owing a debt so massive that Ted couldn’t see a way out for his best friend. Bill always had a knack for dreaming big, but this time, those dreams had dragged him into danger. Ted couldn’t stand the thought of losing him, not just because Bill was the other half of Wyld Stallyns, but because without Bill, life felt hollow. Joining the game was his way of fixing everything, even if it meant risking his own life in the process. He was broke, a college dropout and his father hated him even more than back then he was a high school teen. He was a failure. Money felt like the only answer to all his problems. Ted wanted to pursue that mission till the end for the reward to have a semblance of life.

“How could you-”

Was the only thing you could muster, feeling shaken to the core as you unconsciously took a step back. He suddenly approached you, cupping your face gently as he felt the wetness of your tears, ignoring the hurt in your eyes.

“I had to do this, for Bill. He’s in trouble, and I can’t just sit back and let him lose everything!

A silence went on.

“I will do everything to make you escape…You have to quit that game. Or else you'll die,” he said in a low tone, almost in a whisper.

Your breath hitched as you shook your head, plunging your teary eyes into his. His calloused hands felt soft and reassuring against your face despite the circumstances. You needed that money too, to save your sick mother. He gave you the same puppy look he usually gave you whenever he felt upset. He searched for a flicker of hope in your gaze but found only the weight of your own battles.

“I can’t leave,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “Not while she still has a chance.”

Ted swallowed hard, his hands trembling slightly against your skin. He knew you were talking about your mother, and he knew, even more, that no words could convince you to run.

“Then I’ll stay,” he said at last, his voice laced with newfound determination.

You shook your head firmly, but he suddenly pressed his forehead to yours, his warm breath brushing against your cheek as you took in his familiar, soft scent.

“I’ll stay… and I’ll protect you,” he insisted, a sad smile softening his tired features.

Your heart clenched, torn between wanting to scream at him to leave and the brutal comfort of his presence. The alarms echoed faintly in the distance, a grim promise, but in this suspended moment, there was only the two of you in that dim, dark, abandoned hallway. During his time here, he had learned the layout of the place and all its hidden spots.

“Ted…” you began, but he gently cut you off.

“Wyld Stallyns,” he murmured, a faint smile tugging at his lips. “We’re gonna need you to write our best song. ”

And as his words sparked the faintest glimmer of hope, the darkness of the game seemed to close in tighter around you both. Ted hesitated for a moment, his deep honey-brown eyes scanning your tear-streaked face as if memorizing every detail. His calloused thumb brushed your cheek, and before you could say anything, he leaned in, closing the space between you.

His lips were soft, warm, trembling slightly against yours, a mix of desperation and tenderness that made your breath catch. The kiss was fleeting but full of unspoken promises, as if it were his way of saying everything he couldn’t put into words.

When he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, his voice barely above a whisper. 

“I’m not letting you face this alone.”

[domjaehyun]

Big questions here. You don't have to answer them but if you do thanks I'm just curious as a writer myself. Do you edit the grammar and spelling of your writings during the writing process or afterwards? And do you use a specific website e.g. Grammarly to help with any corrections you've missed? Do you write up your writings in tumblr drafts, word, or something like that? And when you have new ideas for writings do you note them down, start up a quick draft or how do you remember new ideas?

omg no you’re totally fine i actually. really genuinely love being asked about my writing process and habits it’s so fun to me !!!! okay i feel chatty so this got rly long apologies 😭😭😭 i tried to bold keywords from your questions so you could pick out my answers more easily :D

ngl my grammar and spelling is like. pretty damn good like any mistakes i ever catch in my stories are never genuine spelling errors theyre literally just typos 😭 and as for grammar, the grammar issues i ever ever find are birthed from like. inconsistency w the preexisting sentence structure djfjsjfj bc i always always always reread and edit while i’m writing especially when i’m starting out w the fic, but the longer it gets, the more exhausting it becomes to reread the whole thing sjfkdkdkd

also sometimes i’ll stop writing a fic mid sentence that’s semi-long and when i come back, i just pick up from where i left off without. rereading the sentence 😖😖😖 whenever i reread my like published works and catch mistakes just know i thought about putting my head directly through a wall 😭😭😭

so!! i do edit it obsessively during, i proofread it after i’m done (even though i’m usually exhausted and honestly sick of the story at that point) and then i send it to a friend or multiple friends so they can beta it for me, then i make any changes as i see fit, proofread it on my own AGAIN usually very lazily, then i’m like “i cant bear to look at you anymore” and i just post it sjjjdkddj

i don’t use any sort of online tools to “help” me write apart from google docs and the built in suggestion feature they have! i hate grammarly, actually skfjskdkd it doesn’t know half as much as it thinks it does and its software fucked up so often when i used it that i was just like. “what the fuck are you talking about.” also, i think that in very specific occasions, general sentence rules can be slightly subverted in order to achieve some sort of goal, and i enjoy doing that from time to time, so it got annoying when grammarly was like being dumb or that hemingway website said shit like “this sentence is rly long and complex” like….yeah. i know. i did that on purpose.

i will never in my life trust tumblr to host any drafts of my work. never. ever. ….ever. i either make a google docs draft or a notes draft for like. actual longer ideas like scenes and more plotting and stuff!! if it’s a small little idea and i have a bunch for some reason, occasionally i’ll write the ideas down physically either onto paper or w my apple pencil onto my note taking app on my ipad sjfjskkd !!

but yeah tbh i was just talking to nova abt this the other day bc we were talking abt wips and our storage of them and. when i was trying to count how many wips i even have, i had to search in like. 3 different apps (technically 4 but that’s bc i already have lists on here in my drafts that i have elsewhere but it’s easier to find them here shfjsj) in different documents until i rounded up all the lil ideas like stray sheep 😭😭😭 so hopefully soon i can set aside time to sit down and compile every single wip, at least the idea and where i have more info stored, into one single google doc for my convenience !!!!

BUT YEAH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING OMG I LOVE LOVE LOVE QUESTIONS LIKE THESE 🥺🥺🥺 if you or anyone else has any more writing process questions, totally feel free to ask!!!!

[universitykpop]

It’s time to talk about it

I’ve decided to publish that post I talked about the other day. I’ve noticed several other writers on here are making posts about lack of feedback and interaction and that they’re leaving or no longer writing. This is a topic that I’ve tried to not post a lot about because I didn’t want to seem ungrateful or annoying. But if there’s any time to talk about it, it’s now. I’ve put it below a cut because it is quite a long post with a lot of my emotions about tumblr and my blog. So buckle up, kids, ‘cause it’s a rollercoaster of feels.

My Experience as a Tumblr Fanfic Writer;

When I started this blog, I was fresh off of onedirectionfanfiction.com and 5sosfanfiction.com, where I never had many readers or any feedback. I got maybe 10 comments (they weren’t in-depth reviews, just ‘omg’ or ‘harry’s so hot’) in total from my dozens and dozens of long fanfics (some stories hitting over 100k words which I can’t even dream of now). Coming onto here, I didn’t think my writing was going to get much attention based on past experience. There was a handful of “big scenario blogs” and I liked and reblogged everything I enjoyed reading because that’s how I wanted people to interact with my content. I didn’t know how it felt to receive positive feedback but I wanted others to, even when they were already getting it from so many other readers. When I hit 500 followers, I thought that was it, I wasn’t going to get more followers/readers. I had readers requesting that I do requests and begging for more parts of stories meant to just be oneshots. I was so over the moon to be receiving that kind of love for something I enjoyed doing. I felt like I was finally good at something; I had a purpose for spending hours writing about people I admired and liked. I was getting messages almost everyday for two years and if I hadn’t posted in so long anons were in my ask box asking if I was still here. I had regular anons who went by cute little anon names for a short time. My notifications exploded so much that I had to turn off push notifications because my phone would not stop going off in classes. I cannot describe how happy I was in that time. I have been writing and reading fanfics since 2009 and I always wondered how it would feel to be one of the “popular” writers on a fic site, and during 2016/2017 I thought I achieved that based on the interactions I got. 

As I continued to write, I started to notice many of the fic writers I followed started making friends with other writers I followed. As someone who is very introverted, shy, and socially anxious (especially at this point in time of my blog), I wondered if any other writers would reach out to me and befriend me. No one ever really did, and I thought something was wrong with me. They had their group chats and inside jokes they’d post and tag each other. They would inspire each other to write things and bounce ideas off one another. I haven’t ever felt like I was a part of the kpop fanfic writing community; I was just kinda there. People knew my url but didn’t know me. I had mutuals who messaged me a few times, and then a while later I go back to see what they’re doing and they’re no longer mutuals with me. It shouldn’t have bothered me but it did. Was I annoying? Did they just not like me? Did someone else talk shit about me and then that person changed their opinion about me? I’ll never know because I don’t like confrontation. I have always felt kind of left out, and it reminded me a lot of my real life. Since 2015 when I started this blog, I’ve made one friend and I still talk to her to this day. At times, she was my only friend. She knows who she is, and I cannot say how grateful I am that she reached out to me.

Around 2018, interactions just kind of stopped. I became paranoid and frantic about how I could get back to where I was, but nothing I did worked. As I approached 17k followers, only needing two more to hit it, I began to lose followers by the dozens. I couldn’t figure out why. I was still posting stories but barely got feedback. I decided to stop writing for a bit and not many readers were concerned. It got to the point that I avoided getting on here because I knew I would only get upset and feel guilty by logging on. It felt weird because I had such a large following yet no one cared. And now, I sit at 16.4k followers who barely interact with my content. I don’t get messages about my content, and sometimes I get more than 5 notes in a day. I don’t feel motivated to write because who’s going to read it? I felt like I lost my purpose; it didn’t matter if I continued to write. My stories became shorter and more scarce. I moved to other platforms to see if engagement would go up, but it didn’t. It was pointless to post here and on other sites. I had a taste of praise and I miss it. When it stopped, I couldn’t figure out if I had done something wrong. I study consumer behavior and write papers about it for my Masters degree, and I still can’t figure out why fanfic readers don’t engage with authors on here. In merchandising, people are always willing to give their opinion on products whether it’s good or bad, so why aren’t fic consumers willing? Some writers I’ve read, who I watched grow in popularity and envied their readers interactions, are now in the same boat I’m in and I hate that this is happening to us. Some of them I’m shocked they are also dealing with this. We make this content for free, spending h o u r s to create it, and we get nothing in return. I loved being able to connect with my readers and feel their emotions about my stories. It made me feel fulfilled finally as an fic author.

Now, I can’t remember the last time I opened my scenario documents. How could something that I loved doing for so long become a burden? This blog caused some of my happiest moments and my saddest. Sometimes I debate deleting my account or logging off for good. But I can’t let go after all the effort I’ve put into my blog. 

Would I recommend becoming a Tumblr fanfic writer? Absolutely not. Do not make Tumblr your primary source where you post your stories. Focus on interactions and feedback from actual fiction websites, where it is meant to host those relationships.

This post isn’t meant to shame anyone or brag. I wanted to be real for a moment and tell my truth. So many writers randomly leave without a word, and I just can’t let myself do that. I want to be in the fandoms and contribute and have fun, but I feel like my time to do that has been over for a long time, like I don’t belong here anymore. I’ll still be around but I probably won’t plan to update stories, specifically on this blog. I will most likely post random oneshots on my ateez sideblog @alotofteez and my accounts on aff and ao3. I’ll still make photo edits every once in a while. I really didn’t think I’d make this sort of “goodbye” post because I had so many plans for this blog that just unfortunately never came to fruition.

[serenagaywaterford]

1) Okay, I'm late (bc rl sucks), but I'm back and I'll gradually address everything. "Also do not feel any pressure to respond to my multiple essays! I understand completely!"The same goes to you, bc I feel like I'm bothering you too much. That being said, I truly enjoy talking to you. Not only you offer fresh/perceptive insights into the characters' minds (which made me a. reconsider scenes and motives, b. wanna rewatch S1 --some scenes you're commenting on are SO fuzzy in my head-- mind you,

2) 2) I’m already rereading the book), but you also provide such hilarious, sarcastic lines (some of them are absolute killers). <3 I logged in to read one of your responses yesterday morning (while at work, yes, but shhh) and I really had to bite my lip in order to keep my sound of laughter concealed. Well. I ended up looking like a total goof (no doubt), bc I couldn’t manage to keep a straight face. a) “HAHA, I figured it wasn’t you. I don’t know how but sometimes even anon’s have different

3) personalities” I know you have an inkling of who’s who. :D But damn, that ‘lesbianing’ bit had me giggling. Kudos, fellow anon. Since we’re on the subject, I have another question about your fic (if you don’t mind): is it post s2 or s1/s2 canon divergent? b) “Add horrid fangirls to that and it’s a big ass no lol.” Ugh. Fandom smh manages to sour my opinion of characters/ships/series I personally like. Especially when fans start pestering the creators to cater to their whims or harass actors

4) or start ship wars. Double ugh. c) “So, that’s the Mass Effect connection!” Two more similarities: i. Mass Effect’s Miranda Lawson got a lot of fandom hate back then (even though she was a famous character), just like Serena. ii. She has a back-and-forth, bickering (hateful but not THAT complex) relationship with another female character. d) “I have seen Westworld! Well, okay, just the first season. I got too tired/confused to get past the 2nd season premiere.” Oh, sorry. I shouldn’t have

5) assumed. Believe me when I say it’s a good thing you stopped watching when you did. The overall quality of the series remained pretty much the same (e.g. acting, cinematography, direction), but, oh boy, some new plot twists (which I usually like) are SO OVER THE TOP in order to impress (?) the audience. It’s reached a point where some characters are unrecognizable, bc they’re servants to the plot. Maeve has a lot bigger arc in S2 and Newton is thriving (imo, S2!Maeve >> S1!Maeve), but so is

6) Strahovski/Serena. :D e) “don’t go around bitching at people who say shitty things or stuff I don’t agree with, or blocking anybody who doesn’t like her."Ah, another thing we have in common. There were times I’ve been blocked by fandom people (with beautiful edits) that I NEVER interacted with (except for maybe reblogging from each other). That’s not me complaining. Like I said, each to their own.I just find this phenomenon funny at times. Story time. Once, an out of nowhere anon (whose msg I

7) didn’t publish, bc drama is SO not my thing) said they’d block me, bc of an uploaded gifset for a canon pairing (which wasn’t to their taste apparently) that was tagged as #[series]edit (although the ship!portmanteau was right there, too, so that people could easily block it). I remember being like: "Okay. Good for you, anon!” LOL. f) “I dunno if you see spoilers but there’s one about them.) She needs therapy so much more than a cutesy feelgood storyline.” I did NOT actually, but feel free to8) enlighten me.

——–

I am sort of back! (RL does get in the way of incredibly lengthy essays about fictional TV shows!) NO APOLOGIES NECESSARY!! I am just so happy I get to read all these excellent thoughts, analyses, and feelings you have! (and that we clearly share lol, including the sheer amusement of your writing!). I really want to write more at the mo but my hands are doing that weird old lady thing where you can see the veins popping out and it makes me v uncomfortable to look at. Especially since I have little baby hands. I hate it.

Ok, I’m now kneeling on the floor and the computer is on the kitchen island. This is better. I cannot see the top of my hands. 

SO. Where was I? OW. my kneeeessss. This is a bad idea.

I’m so lost. Fic question. right. It’s post-S2. Like… quite post-S2. I didn’t even deal with HOW or WHY June is back in the Waterford’s house tbh cos I can’t be bothered to sort that out. (Thanks, show.) So, it just assumes that for some reason, she’s back. Which, if the BTS pics/video is to be believed, that’s the case anyway. 

Fangirls (and boys ofc) ruin so much for me. Even if I like the same thing initially. Ugh. Then sometimes they’ll annoy me so much that I end up liking the complete opposite of what they like. Dunno why.

No worries about Westworld! It’s a reasonable assumption! Please don’t apologise, my friend. I do agree that Thandie was very good in S1. IIRC, her character was my fav (other than Clementine lol). Yvonne S2 was just next level shit to me. Like, what you’re saying makes me wanna give S2 WW another shot but when shows get overcomplicated, they’re not much fun anymore when I’m like “BUT WHAT IS HAPPENING LOL”. 

>> “There were times I’ve been blocked by fandom people (with beautiful edits) that I NEVER interacted with (except for maybe reblogging from each other)”

EXACT SAME. It was actually in THT fandom most recently lol. Like, I reblogged one of their pretty edits once. Ever. I didn’t even say anything snarky or bitchy or rude in tags. I don’t think I added any commentary at all. Next thing I know? BLOCKED. Never interacted with them in any way whatsoever. (Typical N/J fangirl lol.) It’s the strangest behaviour and it’s that kind of thing that sours me towards sects of fangirls, and sometimes even the characters they like. Maybe that’s just petty but I think it actually just reinforces pre-existing feelings I had towards the character or pairing.) The only blogs I block are ones that are gross, RP, or spam. (RP blogs is a long history of them stealing and spamming and adding awful commentary to my posts way back in the day, so I just… block em. lol.)

>> “they’d block me, bc of an uploaded gifset for a canon pairing (which wasn’t to their taste apparently) that was tagged as #[series]edit (although the ship!portmanteau was right there, too, so that people could easily block it). I remember being like: “Okay. Good for you, anon!” LOL.”

Oh. My… WHAT. There’s a very odd sense of entitlement here that seems so peculiar to me. Like, that’s what the blacklisting feature is for? I’ve put every version of my most despised pairings, characters, etc. and it works? Very rarely does it miss on. I guess we’re just dramaphobic, mature old fandom farts. Like, “Kids, let me sit you down and tell you about this site before you could block things. Before even XKit was invented…” Not to mention every other website ever lol.

HOLY GROSS… I just got up and a centipede fell off me!! WHYYYYYY. THIS IS WHY I DON’T SIT ON THE FLOOR. (we live near the beach/woods so we get lots of bugs no matter how clean we are…) no more painful kneeling for me i guess…

OKAY. Spoilers. It’s not much but other than the June in Martha costume (which was shown in the teaser Superbowl trailer anyway by now)… there were set pics of Emily, Sylvia, Nicole, and Luke all happy and smiling. IIRC. I can’t find the post anymore. So it may not have been in character. But I dunno… it all seems… too easy? Like, I’m glad Emily is safe but omg. She’d better not be all hunky dory “I stabbed a lady and threw her down the stairs, murdered another, and ran a dude over with a stolen car, but now I’m Canada, I’m all healed!” (Not including the heart attack/crotch kicking here cos that was fair play to Emily. She deserved that.) Like, honestly, as much part of me was like YESSSS at all of those, still… that’s grievous bodily harm with intent to kill, flat out murder, and vehicular manslaughter. For Emily to do those things, you don’t do those crimes without being really broken and damaged. And… yeah. That doesn’t magically disappear when you hop over a border.