#its been like this little bit of sunshine in my day

[bedupolker]

PLAYLIST. @viv13drainbow I think if you like that song in particular you'd also really enjoy Summer Salt, Little Joy, and Babe Rainbow for chill beach-y rock (not included). Commentary below:

The Blue Album - The album to start all albums, the album that launched weezer to success. Many hail this as their best album (I love this album but respectfully disagree) but nonetheless it's an essential for weezer fans and alt rock fans as a whole. Plenty of people who know way more about music than I do have praised blue album at length, and it's a funny meme nowadays too. Of course say it ain't so is an all-time classic, a heart-wrenching look into Rivers's relationship with alcoholism and his parental figures. I dunno if anything on the blue album can be called a proper deep cut, but only in dreams is an overlooked gem, and probably my favorite outro in their whole discography. Hopeful but somber, that slow buildup a the end to the guitar solo. Suzanne is a nice B-side.

Pinkerton - the infamous Pinkerton. Their sophomore album. Their breakdown album. Although weezer's not exactly an emo band, this album is often credited to being influential to the genre as a whole. No two people have the same experience with love or breakups, and one of the beautiful things about art is that we can see an experience through anothers' eyes, but I don't think I can think of a more painfully relatable album than this one. The balancing act of portraying its sympathetically-unsympathetic protagonist as equal parts pathetic and lonely while also entitled and aggressive. Some of the vocals are so raw for a second you see the monster in the five foot six, nerdy, physically disabled, lead singer that he sees himself as. Hard for me to pick a favorite standalone song off this one; the good life is a funky jam that wouldn't be out of place next to wheatus or RCHP's tracks, but that's where all the funk ends. Why bother? is a driving, catchy song that starts to show the cracks of his depression, falling for you is full of emotion, and if you get your hands on the deluxe edition, tragic girl.

Green album - At its time of release, Pinkerton was not received well. Creating such a raw, personal piece of art is hard. It's like the artistic version of getting crazy drunk, pouring your heart out, feeling catharsis for a moment, then realizing you'll have to deal with it all the next day. A lot of people interpret island in the sun as a happy song, but to me it's the tylenol after that night of drinking, a lie to tell yourself just to get through the day. It has a peaceful rhythm and brings to mind a tropical paradise, but there's something undeniably melancholy beneath the sunshine and smiles. You've tried to face your pain and you barely escaped alive, maybe you're better off just ignoring it. (That being said, although the damage has been done, Pinkerton has later been reevaluated and is now as widely praised as the Blue Album amongst music critics, and Rivers himself has made peace with that phase in his life.)

Maladroit - Overall this album is rather overlooked. It leans a bit more heavily into the rock aspect compared to green album, yet the lyrics remain impersonal and goofy. It's still not a bad album, though doesn't reach the heights of the first two. The singles, Dope Nose & Keep Fishing are both solid, but Burndt Jamb is my personal favorite. A little beach-y, probably their Stroke-y est song, (the band, not the medical emergency), it's been a mainstay on several of my chill out playlists for years now.

Make Believe - Probably one of their most hated albums by fans. It has the infamously shallow and poppy beverly hills, but you know what? I'm a Make Believe Defender. I truly think it could've been a great album, maybe even on par with Pinkerton. Not because of the album itself, but the demos. Haunt you Everyday is solid on the final product but rips at my heartstrings in this demo, ditto for tell me what you did (different name on the final product), everybody wants a chance to be alone (I said burndt jamb was their strokiest song but I think it might actually be this one) purple flowers (lyrics are a little rough but the melody, the meloncholy... so good) Actually on that note, weezer has, like, multiple album's worth of unreleased content that's miles better than anything on a published album (Link for one of my favorite fan compilations). Yes, the lyrics sound like something I wrote in my diary after a breakup, but that makes them all the more real. A deep dive into weezer will reveal the terrifying truth we've all been blind to: weezer never got bad.

Red Album - Mixed feelings on this one. It was produced by Rick Rubin, industry titan and famous for bringing bands "back from the dead," he's produced more than one of my all time favorite albums. Red is not one of them unfortunately. It has its fans though. Pork and Beans is fun.

Raditude, Hurley, Death to False Metal - Skipping these bc I don't care abt them

Everything will be alright in the end - To fans, this was their first "good" album since Maladroit, maybe since Pinkerton (12 years prior!) depending on who you ask. Although it wasn't as commercially successful as some others, it's a very strong album. Really, what is it about rock bands forgetting they're rock bands then suddenly returning to releasing rock music and magically being good again?? I'm looking @ you too, fall out boy. I have a hard time picking a really standout song- it's one of those albums that's evenly good throughout, no skips, but no obvious standouts either. Da Vinci is fun.

White Album - A fantastic album. You can hear some pretty heavy beach boys influence in this one. Unlike EWBAITE it has a few skips for me, but the highs are very high. Speaking of high. Do you wanna get high has to be my favorite off this one, Endless Bummer could be a sequel to island in the sun, Summer Elaine and Drunk Dori is just good clean weezy fun.

Pacific Daydream - I'm a Pacific Daydream defender. Check out QB blitz. Weekend Woman is flawed, but fun too, the bridge really makes it for me. Very evocative of Good Vibrations by the beach boys.

Teal Album - Oh god a cover album. No Scrubs is probably the only one really worth checking out if nothing else to hear a geeky white guy say "A scrub is a guy who thinks he's fly" like he's reading it out of a dictionary. (TLC, who wrote and performed the original song, allegedly got a kick out of it)

Black Album & Van Weezer - I don't care about these either. Damnit I thought we were gonna be good again!

Ok Human - A good album!! What a relief. Could you imagine how embarrassing it would be to name yourself as a homage such a groundbreaking radiohead album and have it be.... bad??? I particularly love this one because in some ways it feels like it's his most personal album since Pinkerton- only instead of being an honest dialogue from a horribly lonely and isolated 20 year old student, it's a much more well adjusted, happily married, 50 year old father who is subject to both optimism and ennui. And it rocks! In a soft, subdued way. The songs flow into each other so nicely, the first three in the album debatably are my favorite 3-song-run in their discog. Aloo Gobi and Grapes of Wrath especially. The transition from dark and somber Dead Roses to light and upbeat Here Comes the Rain never gets old to me. This album (alongside MGMT's little dark age and The Stroke's The New Abnormal) was also like my essential Coronavirus holy trinity.

Spring/Summer/Fall/Winter - This is a compilation of 4 EP's, one of each released during their respective seasons in 2022. I think it's solid all around, with Summer being the strongest. Records and Blue Like Jazz are both very catchy, Thank you and Goodnight... just wait for the outro, trust me.

[vampiricstoryteller]

Are You Even Real?

Two smut stories in one night, whew I really do love these two characters and their relationship. I hope y’all enjoy this quick smut filled one shot.

Summary: Richter often wonders, especially when they’re in bed together, if Annette is even real

All mistakes are my own

Read fic on A03 here

Warnings: Explicit smut, swearing

The sun peeking through deep orange curtains, is what wakes Richter from his slumber. The rays have caught the reflection of a crystal charm that hangs from a vanity dresser mirror across the room. Richter knows this because he’s asked about the various charms all over the room on more than one occasion. Annette’s got one for every important person and event in her life, and the one currently blinding him at 6 in the morning is the one he’d gifted her as a birthday present.

Richter supposes it shows how far he’s truly come. Five months ago, being awaken at the crack of dawn by a trinket would have soured his entire day. But this morning, Richter breathes deep and says his thanks for being able to greet a new day. Then he rolls onto his side and wraps his arm around Annette. She’s still sleeping but when the weight of his arm on her waist settles, she wiggles until her back is pressed to his chest.

Richter smiles into her head scarf, the silk cool against his face which had obviously started being cooked by the sun rays. He curls to the shape of her, aligning their hips and tangling his one leg between both of hers.

Her breathing stays even, the dark skin of her chest rising and falling underneath a baby blue tank; one of his favorites that she purposefully wears when he stays over. Richter kisses her shoulder, obsessed with the softness of her skin and the way her body wash scent clings to her.

Relaxing into the pillow they share, Richter’s thumb rubs slow circles into the skin at her sternum and he let his mind drift a bit; enjoying the early morning calm.

Every day since he’d met Annette two years ago at Maria’s 18th birthday party, Richter had been completely into her. She was smart, funny, gorgeous and knew what she wanted in life. She brought purpose, serenity and sunshine to his finely structured but empty life; and though they may have only been dating five months, Richter loved her.

He’d been uninterested in much besides work and making sure his little sister was cared for when Annette crashed into his life (thanks Maria) and kept him on his toes every single time they had a conversation.

Some of his favorite memories of the time they spent together before they started dating were the days he would drop Maria and Annette at their 4pm college course on his way to work. Evening classes were teaching his little sister the responsibility of time management and Richter enjoyed teasing her with Annette.

For an entire semester the three of them spent more time in Richter’s car trading music, discussing life and just being all around goofy than they spent anywhere else.

He’d come out of the daily experience with a massive crush, much to Maria’s delight, and a need to spend every single day of the rest of his life with Annette.

She was a goddess to him, her rich brown skin always glimmering like fine sand and her gorgeous thick hair a halo above her perfect face.

From the bottom of his soul, Richter loved Annette.

His thoughts are broken by the change in her breathing, her back stuttering against his chest as she emerges from sleep slowly.

Richter nuzzles her neck, kissing slowly along her shoulder line before biting the round curve gently. Annette’s hands blindly reach for his, interlacing their fingers and squeezing in appreciation when his thumb continues its rhythm on her thigh.

“Good morning.” He murmurs.

“Hi,” Annette smiles, “someone’s up early.”

“Your birthday gift was treating me like an ant.” He quips, chuckling at the confusion that wrinkles her brow as her still sleep brain struggles to make sense of his words.

“I did tell you that hanging it there would be hazardous.” She murmurs, turning her face towards the pillow.

She had told him, but Richter chuckles against her soft skin and bites it gently when her hips push back ever so slightly. Warmth spreads through his chest, his spine tingling when Annette slowly starts grinding back. Her movement gradually growing bolder each time he ticks his own hips up to meet hers on the roll back.

“Richter,” she murmurs, her pearly white teeth digging in her bottom lip and plumping the flesh.

“I love you,” he whispers, kissing one of her sweet spots behind her ear. His hand on her thigh begins to knead the flesh, fingers clutching hard enough to leave marks.

“I—I love you too.” Annette whimpers, lifting her hips when he starts to tug at the waistline of her black panties.

Richter dips his hand down, pushing his knuckles past her panty line and brushing his fingers through the damp curls they never tire of finding between their thighs.

His other hand skims and squeezes her breasts through her shirt, pinching at her nipples and tugging them each time the fingers between her thighs swipe down her pussy lips.

Annette sighs and whimpers, hiding her face in an attempt to muffle the steady rise in her voice. Richter nips at her jawline, his voice rough as he whispers into the skin,

“Don’t hide from me, baby, I wanna hear all those pretty sounds you make.”

He taps one finger on her hot clit, rocking his hips up against hers and stroking a second finger through her slick lower lips. Annette arches into him, shoving the skin he’s playing like an instrument into his welcoming talented hands.

She reaches back blindly, her hands shoving at the boxers he’d worn to bed last night. Richter helps her pull them down his thighs, leaving the material bunched just above his knees.

Richter’s cock is long, thick and painfully hard by now so he can’t help the shaky moan that escapes his throat when Annette’s pretty fingers wrap around the shaft. She strokes him twice, her hand holding him lightly so she can twist her wrist on the way down before she runs the sensitive head over her hip and the lace of her panties.

“Annette.” Richter growls.

He dips his fingers down to her soaking opening, circling it as he places his mouth next to her ear and whispers filthily,

“So small, don’t know if I’ll be able to fit, Princess.”

Annette jerks, the moan that leaves her mouth primal and she lifts her leg in invitation. Richter tugs her panties to the side, wanting to watch his cock slide not only in and out of Annette but leave a mess on the black fabric as well.

She shivers when he hooks one arm under the back of her knee and tugs her legs open wide, her small hand guides his cock towards her hole; helping him nestle the head there and Richter bites at her earlobe.

“You gonna breathe deep like I taught you baby?” He asks, chuckling at her immediately nod of response.

Richter squeezes his hips forward, once, twice, three times and then on the fourth lets the flex glide into a full thrust. Sliding all the way in until the head of his cock meets the opening of her cervix.

“R-Richter.” Annette clenches around him, her nails digging into his hip as she scrambles for something to hold onto.

“What do you need Princess?” He asks sweetly, his tongue flicking at the shell of her ear.

“Need….nmph…need you to….fuck! I need you to fuck me.” Annette cries out, the words tripping over her tongue. “Please, fill me up Richter!”

He grins into the curve of her neck, nose brushing her earlobe as he growls and locks his hand into the crook of her bent knee; letting go of the last bit of his control now that he has her permission.

The first couple of thrusts give Richter the chance to set a brutal pace, jerking Annette back onto his cock hard enough that the bed creaks dangerously beneath them.

Richter fucks into Annette hard and deep, her moans and pleas urging him to use her as he saw fit. The head of his cock finds the sensitive sponge like space inside of her on a particularly hard thrust and Annette shrieks.

Her orgasm rippled through her body like water, cum gushing around Richter’s cock and effectively dragging him down with her. He stiffens, erratically slamming deep inside of Annette as thick, hot cum paints her core and inner walls. His vision blurs out, his grip on her tightening as they shudder through aftershocks together.

They stay straining against one each other for a long moment, only relaxing when Annette’s body collapses. The only sounds being their huffs of exhaustion for several minutes until the clock at the end of the hall chimes eight times.

“We should go back to sleep.” Annette murmurs, her body already sagging backwards slumber.

Richter chuckles, agreeing with a kiss to her temple. He starts to shift away from her, but her dark slender hand shoots back and grips at his hip in desperation.

“No, don’t.” She whines quietly. “Stay right here.”

Richter laughs, his face and ears heating up as he settles back into the mattress. Annette pulls her thick comforter back over them, sighing contently as she wiggles to find the most comfortable spot.

She interlaces their fingers, resting their hands against her stomach as she says,

“I love you Richter, you’re the sweetest man I’ve ever known.”

He kisses her cheek when she finally does settle, brushing his lips along her jaw as he whispers,

“I can’t believe you’re real.”

She looks at him over her shoulder, an embarrassed but pleased smile on her lips.

“That’s the best way you’ve said it back yet.”

He watches her drift back to sleep, truly mesmerized by her beautiful face and the fact that she wants anything at all to do with him; let alone share the most intimate parts of her with him.

Richter burrows into her neck, content to shut out the rest of the world forever if it meant he could stay connected to Annette and be the only person to know the face she makes when she comes apart.

The End

As always, thanks for reading! I hope y’all liked it. Like, reblog, tell me what you think! 🤟🏾

[erythristicbones]

i think making my own discord server for my original stories was one of the best decisions ive made in awhile tbh

[s0fter-sin]

soap's whole deal being sniper and demolitions gets me going bc on the surface they sound so different but when you get into it, you realise it's bc soap's smart

sniping is all math; calculating distances and wind interference and bullet drop. something i think people overlook is he was listed as a sniper first so it can be implied that he's better at it than demolitions. he does more sniping in both campaigns than demolitions work; in capture or kill, ghost specifically calls on him to take down the aq snipers

and demolitions is math with a hit of chemistry; knowing what mixes with what, knowing how much to use, recognising environmental factors and adjusting accordingly. it's not just about the boom; so much work goes into contained/ planned explosions. especially when having enough power for a breacher charge and not bringing down the whole building is the difference between mission success and failure

the chemical bombs he makes in alone can't just be any old cleaners, they have to have the correct reaction to each other; he just knew off the top of his head what would mix with what to create what reaction. he would also potentially have to recognise them by sight/smell bc they would’ve been written in spanish

soap would also have to know architecture; recognising structural integrity and weak points so he knows exactly where to plant a charge to bring it down and how it'll come down

he has an incredible soldier's mind people just forget that bc he's sociable which itself is a skill

we know he tends to buck against orders he doesn't agree with like when he pushes back against ghost in capture or kill and shepherd when he tells them to release hassan

he gets closer to people and sees if he can trust them and that's when he follows them without question. really think about how he talks to alejandro and rudy; he asks about their home and alejandro's family and rudy's relationship with him. those aren't questions you ask a stranger after a few hours of knowing them. that's not even touching on his relationship with ghost

he also deliberately brings people of higher ranks down to his level; talking informally with ghost and giving him a shoulder punch, addressing alejandro (a colonel!!) by his first name and rudy by his nickname despite literally just meeting them. he personalises all of them and it’s in direct opposition to the reason most characters do that; it’s not due to insubordination or lack of respect, the more he respects and trusts someone, the more casual he is with them

he digs into people; he wants to know what makes them tick and that determines if he can one, trust them and two, follow their orders. once he decides that, he's the ultimate soldier; he bleeds loyalty which makes him vicious when that loyalty is taken for granted

he isn't naive or bubbly or insecure; he's an incredibly smart and aware soldier. he's aggressive and bloodthirsty and loyal and intuitive and i love him so much

[unriding]

(early) zevie day sketchy !!!!! for u !!!!!!! ohhh how i love zevie (and moevie) !!!!! i hope you have the best best best ever day full of love bc you deserve it - truly and honestly!! you're one of the sweetest souls i've had the pleasure of knowing ... thank you for being you <3 mwah mwah xoxo

venus ?!?! i will respond to your art in my tags ( i am sorry for the length of them in advance ) but oh i love you !! i think i will queue this like 30 minutes before midnight because i am losing my mind ahsndjdjd !!! ??? venus every time i see you, i feel so .. safe ?! and so comfortable ? and happy ? i truly love this special air you have .. i love you !! i have been so happy to be your mootie … thank you for making me feel so loved 🥺 and thank you for being in my life! and thank you for being so cute and so sweet and so lovely and so — JANSNJDKD thank you!!! 🥺🥺🤍✨✨

[yatiso]

entering my mostly sober era fr this shit kindve rocks ngl

[hyunebunx]

˖˙ ᰋ ── hyunjin messes up and kkami helps him apologize

﹙ʚɞ˚﹚. genre: fluff (might be the cutest thing i wrote recently)

﹙ʚɞ˚﹚. a/n: this is definitely inspired by the new book i'm obsessing over right now so pls enjoy and let me know what you think!! <33

“Well, well, look who finally remembered he has a loving partner missing him at home.”

You hear Hyunjin sigh on the other end, sheepish, obviously expecting you’d cut him some slack for disappearing for days, like talking to him wasn’t the best part of your day. Touring was hard, and he’s been insanely busy from day one – you get it. That’s why, your tone’s more playful than intended, only being able to let the phone ring for two heartbeats before rushing to answer and let his velvety voice bring sunshine back into your dull life.

“Hello, the absolute love of my life I think about daily.” He clears his throat, brushing over your comment in hopes you’re not truly upset he hasn’t called in so long. Two days weren’t a big deal, but for clingy people like you and him, going 48 hours without hearing what the other has been up to was torture. It was just enough time for insecurity to creep in, feeding you lies upon lies about how he’d forgotten your relationship and was currently in the process of replacing you with someone else, someone better and more worthy of owning his heart.

Your heart flutters, a grin finding its way onto features despite your attempts at stopping it. “Hello, Hyunjin.”

“Who the fuck is Hyunjin?”

No longer able to keep the happiness at bay, you burst out laughing, the aggravation clear as day in the absence of his usual pet name. Hyunjin was your baby, nothing else. His name only ever left your pretty lips you couldn’t wait to press against his only when the situation called for seriousness.

Settling down, you ignore his displeased huffing. “The guy who hasn’t called me in a week. You might know him.”

You’re teasing. You both know it, just like he knows that behind your words, the only genuine thing is the longing and the wish to have him close again, missing the steady beat of his heart and his familiar warmth that usually lulled you to sleep, badly. Hyunjin has always been great at reading between the lines, figuring you out easily, like you were nothing more than an unchallenging puzzle he could solve with his eyes closed.

“A week? I know I messed up, love, but it’s only been two days. Not even, just about 45 hours.” You hear sheets rustling on the other end, helping you picture him lounging about in the hotel bed, hair most likely still damp from his previous shower. For once, the time difference was not absurd, allowing you to stare wistfully at the moon with certainty the other was doing the same, sharing stories of your love and trusting she’ll keep them safe.

“You counted?” You giggle, making yourself more comfortable on the couch, right next to Kkami who is sleeping soundly.

“I’ve been counting the hours until I can see you again the second I stepped outside our apartment.” He confesses, voice suddenly heavy with emotion before he gasps, ruining what could have been a sweet moment. “You’re telling me you haven’t?”

Of course, you have. Time seemed to go by incredibly slowly whenever he wasn’t near, the increasing distance causing his magnetic pull to grow weaker each day, but never diminishing, never losing its hold on you. That was impossible.

“No.” You lie blatantly, leaning back against the couch casually, one hand moving to slowly pet Kkami’s head whose slumber gave him the perfect excuse to ignore you.

“Liar.”

For the first time in your life, the fact that he knew you like the back of his hand was annoying.

“Don’t change the subject! You’re still not in the clear for forgetting about me for two whole days, Hyunjin.” You’re not actually mad, just feeling a little bit neglected. Hyunjin has never gone MIA like that, without even texting you brief updates throughout the day just so you’ll know he was still alive and kicking. Your boyfriend was thoughtful, sweet, and considerate – the radio silence you got for the past two days was very unlike him.

“I didn’t forget.” He counters, and you’re sure he’s shaking his head vehemently, denying all of your accusations. “I could never forget, not in this lifetime or any others.”

“Liar.” You mock him, making a face he can’t see and tease you about like he’d usually do. “You could have texted, at least. Let me know you’d be busy.”

“I’m sorry, love.” His voice is soft, apology genuine as can be when he doesn’t try to justify himself or find excuses. Hyunjin is aware that if the roles were reversed, he’d feel the same way you’re feeling right now, the anxiety and worry eating at him from the inside and leaving behind a restlessness he couldn’t shake off no matter how hard he tried to. And he does, to an extent. Not being able to contact you drove him on the brink of insanity, making him moodier and more difficult to work it, which was so unlike him.

“Can I talk to Kkami?” He adds, trying to make it up to you in his own, creative way you’ve come to love.

“What?” You can’t help but laugh, not sure you heard him right.

“Pass the phone to Kkami for a moment, please?”

Now you’re curious, wondering what that beautiful mind had in store for you this time. You’ve been dog-sitting Kkami since he left, sending him regular updates in hopes of brightening up his day and keeping the homesickness at bay. Your camera roll has been full of pictures and videos of Kkami - walking him, playing together and being cute just for Hyunjin’s delight. A small price to ensure your boyfriend’s everlasting happiness.

“Should I leave you two alone? Give you some privacy?”

He laughs, and you hear the sound of a bag zipping up. “Yes. This is just between us boys, sorry baby.”

Shaking your head with a smile, you do as he asks, lowering the phone close to Kkami’s ear like the pup could actually catch Hyunjin up on what’s been happening around the house since he left. At the sound of his owner’s voice, Kkami’s eyes open as his ears perk up, visibly excited to hear him after so long. With his tail waggling, Kkami listens attentively to whatever Hyunjin is telling him, sleep long forgotten as you start giggling next to him, not believing your eyes.

Kkami was not an affectionate dog, often biting or growling at your lover like he was sick of him. Hyunjin’s presence and fussing were a bore, the dog quickly growing tired of his excited nature, even though your boyfriend was the person he loved most in the world.

That’s exactly why, you’re taken aback when he sprints off the couch, running a lap around the living room before returning to jump at your feet, barking and licking the hand closest to him excitedly.

Dumbfounded, you bring the phone back to your ear laughing. “What did you say to him? He’s suddenly so happy to see me.”

“He’s groveling in my stead. I told him to show you how much I miss you.”

Your heart melts, and suddenly he’s all forgiven as tears well up in your eyes. “Hyun…”

“Actually, I asked him if he wanted a treat.” Your tears get absorbed right back as a laugh bubbles out of the both of you, with Kkami jumping into your lap to beg properly. “I guess he figured I wasn’t there to give him some, so now he expects them from you.”

“You set me up.” You say, voice laced with playfulness as you stand up, scooping Kkami with one hand to fulfill his request. A true glutton, he’d never forgive you if you denied him his beloved snacks.

“Maybe. But my words had the desired effect.” His tone is softer now, and you can hear the smile in his voice. “You’re laughing.”

Yet, the joy didn’t reach its full potential, and never will with hundreds of miles between you. Happiness in its truest form found you in a handful of moments, and for most of them, Hyunjin was right by your side, fueling you with the love and devotion he held for you and you alone. He made you happy like nobody else, helping you see color even on the darkest days. Your beloved loved painting, that’s what he did, you just never thought he could bring forth his talent and make you see beauty in everything, guiding you to see the world through his eyes that always sparkled like he held the entire galaxy in them.

“Baby.”

Hyunjin gasps so loudly, almost like he is on the verge of bursting with happiness, matching Kkami’s energy to a T, ready to jump through the phone to feel your love and affection again.

“Can we facetime? I miss your beautiful face.” You add once Kkami is back on his own paws, devouring the stinky treat in your hand as you crouch to his level.

“Facetime? Love, I’ll literally catch the earliest flight and be there in record time! This little screen isn’t cutting it anymore, I need to see you with my own eyes before I get so desperate I start walking back just to be in your arms!”

And that is your cue to get on a plane first and finally visit your boyfriend before he keeps his word and ends up at your doorsteps with nothing but a duffle bag and a sob story about how much he missed you to justify his careless actions.

[frownyalfred]

Arkham Prince - Masterlist of Posts

I've linked the major asks below with a preview (edited for length) below, grouped by subject/theme and rough chronological order of how I received them. Additional shorter asks/clarifying questions, as well as shorter bits of commentary are at the very bottom.

The very first post:

I have been thinking about the idea of Bruce going insane without being Batman, about Batman being his coping mechanism, and that reblog that was like "he would definitely have ended up in Arkham if he didnt make Batman." Now I'm thinking of an AU where that is exactly the case, and maybe Clark expands his interest towards Gotham a bit, as much as he doesnt like heroing there, because it is the neighbor city of Metropolis. It's like his backyard. And maybe he wants to understand the problem of Gotham at the root, so he goes as Clark Kent, reporter, to interview the patients at Arkham, and there meets Bruce Wayne. Maybe falls in love. Maybe its angsty as fuck because this Bruce is 10 times less adjusted than the Bruce we're used to, but of course, equally as brilliant. (Maybe he could escape any time he wanted but thinks he would murder people if so. Maybe he doesnt trust his anger.)

Expanding Asks:

the idea of arkham patient bruce wayne has burrowed into the depths of my mind. this is SUCH a fascinating thought and changes so many things…how does the justice league fare without batman? how does alfred? i’d assume alfred is given bruce’s guardianship when he’s institutionalized, and i could even see him taking in the robins – finding and helping these children who remind him so much of his own boy, trying not to fail them as he failed bruce. how bruce himself does in arkham is so interesting to consider…is he kept on the same level of security as the real supervillains? is he moved there after Events?

Clark, realizing the League has a problem, a trap from someone like Lex they don't know how to unknot, something which requires finesse and strategy which is a little beyond them... taking that stroll (flight) down to Gotham, feeling insane himself for seeking advise here of all places... but the Arkham Prince delivers. Clark explains the situation, answers questions that he had no idea related to the issue, and Bruce hands him the solution in the span of 10 minutes, while the League had been brainstorming and going in circles over this for days...

Clark Kent and the Arkham Prince Finding Common Ground:

clark’s first attempt to interview the prince of arkham go about as well as you might expect, given that he’s a reporter with sunshine all but seeping out of his pores. the first time bruce doesn’t even talk to him, too furious at the gall of this metropolitan newshound to interrogate him for the sake of some gruesome, sensationalist op-ed obviously about the tragedy of the family wayne and the irredeemable mire of gotham to do anything more than death-glare at him for the entire length of the meeting. but clark, unsatisfyingly, doesn’t give up after that. if bruce doesn’t talk to him, he sure talks to bruce, and with each subsequent interview the questions…change. no longer trying to establish facts about bruce’s life or his crimes, not asking about his experience in arkham, not even going for the low-hanging fruit of why’d you train for years to kill those people, but seemingly random and unrelated things. he wants bruce’s opinions on emissions policies (need to be stricter and more tightly enforced, especially in gotham, jesus, there’s a reason lung cancer and asthma rates are through the roof) and lex luthor’s keynote speeches (unprintable, wiped from clark’s tape recorder in case luthor somehow finds out) and whether or not clark should buy a new suit (why bother, it won’t be any less tragic than every other polyester abomination he cruelly forces bruce to look at every time he stops by). clark slowly and stubbornly makes himself as much a part of bruce’s routine as visits with alfred and lucius and the doctors, and all the while superman is playing a high-stakes game of mental chess with the sinking suspicion that bruce wayne has already won in more ways than one bruce figures out kent is superman about three hours after the first time big blue gets namedropped during an interview. he commences with a plan that is part honeypot, part campaign of psychological warfare, and part genuine bid to get this midwestern alien who holds the safety of his city in his hands to try and give a damn like a proper gothamite would, like no one but bruce ever seems to.

Clark, whose one of his grestest fears is being constrained, treated as a threat, dissected, studied, as the alien specimen he is. He has to pretend. He had to be so careful. Every day or he won't have a life to live.

Clark asking the Arkham Prince to Consult for the JL:

i would kill to have clark-as-supes get some kind of special dispensation to bring arkham prince bruce to the jl hideout (the watchtower doesn’t to be without batman’s engineering/logistics knowhow and WE funding, at least not until bruce is more formally considered a consultant) for help on one of lex’s more convoluted and immediate threats. it’s just not possible for bruce to solve the problem in isolation without the league’s resources, so instead of bringing league missions to bruce superman has to bring bruce to the league mission. i started imagining the team’s reaction to their unwitting reliance on criminally insane mass murderer bruce wayne and then i remembered oliver exists and now i feel only sadness thinking about that particular reunion

Just wondering how regular JL universe would react to meeting this au, meeting Batman and seeing Bruce Wayne's potential Would they realize that their Bruce is limited by what he can do inside Arkham, but that this Batman is also limited by his own rules and codes. Would Ollie be crushed at what his former friend could have been, thinking maybe if he had stepped up and been a "better friend" Bruce wouldn't be in Arkham, he could of been working beside him instead. Can imagine Batman saying "I don't kill" and Bruce just smiling in what should have been the brucie smile and replying "but I do"

The crossover is so funny in regards to Supes. Like here's Arkham Prince AU Clark, terribly in love with a version of Bruce who is so unavailable to him on so many levels, aching with it every time he dares think about it, staring at Regular Universe Clark in complete and utter disbelief. (expansion of "regular JL universe" ask above)

Your take on Prince of Arkham's level of influence on JL members, at the top being of course Clark. And also: first time he is taken into the JL base, does he hack into their systems?

OMG arkham bruce and clark have gotten closer and maybe clark makes bruce promise not to kill again after bruce gets out of arkham so he can join the jl but then someone is killed and theres evidence it was bruce but bruce swears it wasnt him ( bc it wasn’t him ) but theres so much evidence that even clark is starting to doubt bruces innocence and the jl has to kick him out and hes taken back to Arkham or for interrogation and then ANGST BRUCE BEING TORTURED FOR CONFESSION BUT HE STILL SWEARS HE DIDNT DO IT until its proven that he didnt do it

@bat-chik's Harvey Dent Visits Bruce in Arkham

"We can't even claim self defense," Harvey continued. "You-" "He has cancer." Harvey blinked at the non-sequitur, "What?" Finally, the orphaned Wayne turned and faced him, face blank, unconcerned about how much more this action would add to his sentencing. Unconcerned except for the steel eyes seething yet holding back so much hurt. Harvey remembered once again, with a small pang, why he had gotten a crush on Bruce in their college days. "Nygma. He has cancer. The only way to get medical care in Arkham is by ending up in the hospital wing." Bruce moved with all the weight of the world on his shoulders and sat in the bolted chair across from his lawyer, and life long friend.

Where are the Batkids in This?

pls consider. a dick greyson who gets tossed in arkham after tracking down and torturing then killing killing his parent's murderer. tiny and lost now that what was driving him is done. a bruce wayne who hasnt been in That long yet, not long enough for people to see him as a threat rather than just an oddity, who takes one look at that angry little kid and says "oh. oh that ones mine" and spends as much time with the kid as he can. and bruce Loves gotham, thats his whole drive. but to dick, gotham is nothing but the place his world crumbled. and i think this bruce never sat with his feelings of grief either. i think he always needed a cause. and i think he saw dick having lost his cause and tries to help him find another (id like to put forth escaping as a hobby, managing to get into Any part of arkham that he pleases especially with his athleticism and small size)

It would be funny if in the Arkham Prince AU, since all the kids are in there for being um - gremlins and down with murder - that Jason in this was the pacifist?

Re: Jason being the pacifist: "I will follow you forever because you killed him." Endlessly devoted Jason my beloved. If you give him one (1) positive attention he will light himself on fire to keep you warm. I love him so much. Self destructive king.

Tim committing a crime just to end up in Arkham and study the famed insane Bruce Wayne is actually startlingly in character for him...

Clarifying Asks:

when do you see him as getting committed? was he already batman? did he already have any of his kids? if not, what *happened* to those kids who never had bruce to fight for them?

Okay, but since Bruce is the Prince of Arkham, whats stopping his kids from being in there with him?

Oh I am sooooooooo curious about what Clark thinks about Arkham Bruce having a gaggle of prison murder children.…you ever think he’s asked Dick to give Clark flowers during one of his escapes????? Or is that too corny for them.

I've seen some Arkham Prince asks and responses referring to Bruce still being rich, but would he still be?

Additional Thoughts:

i am torn between the other Inmates Hating bruce (hes the picture of those who hurt them. a rich man who is just like them but gets Way less pain for it) and adoring him

Picture this, Alfred goes to see Haly's, sees another black haired blue eyed child losing his parents at just about the same age. Another feral child with murder in his eyes.

it’s extremely important to me to consider arkham prince bruce with longer, shaggy hair and a perpetual three-day beard

The smut in the Arkham Prince AU would be INSANE.

This Arkham Prince AU has folks in a choke hold but ya'll forget one thing. The Joker and Harley Quinn.

god i am just exploding thinking about bruce and sex in the arkham prince au. there is absolutely no way he’s not accustomed to exchanging sex for favors, information, anything he wants or needs. (additional thoughts on how Clark fits into this/Superbat)

Okay hi so my main source of Arkham knowledge is the Penguin show so I’m gonna ramble a bit about factions and divides and stuff. (Sofia Falcone expansion)

continuing my thoughts on Sofia Falcone coming off your great opinions to my last ask.

There is a parallel thread between Bruce and Sofia

[motherlvr]

can you write something grumpy!42miles x sunshine!reader? where he’s always kinda mean but cares about her but they end up together

this prompt is so cute tysm for the req!!

Word count: About 1,600

Pairing: Grumpy Earth-42! Miles Morales x Sunshine! f! reader

Summary: The line between just classmates and something more is thin. Miles and You seemed to be walking that line.

Warnings: (begrudgingly) friends to lovers, he's a bit mean, fluff, minimal cursing, classmates to lovers, pure fluff, cannot contain the fluff, reader is a little slow, this is short and cute, spanish grammar is not my strong suit

A/N: if i haven't gotten to your request yet, its still a wip but will be posted soon!

_________

You were boisterously laughing. Obnoxiously, even. The guy’s joke wasn’t even that funny.

Miles called your name out with an aggravated tone,

"Would it kill you to shut up for a second?"

You promptly responded, "Would it kill you to lighten up for once?"

He regrets not skipping this class.

That was partially a lie. In reality, he didn’t care for this class at all. He only came to see you. You were one of the few people who put up with him.

Miles and you always sat together during class. "Unassigned assigned seats", you'd call it. But that’s all you were. Seat partners. That was the way it was, and the way it would stay. And he was fine with that, at least he tried to convince himself.

The next day, the seat next to Miles was empty. It hasn’t been empty since the first day you met.

If you asked Miles how you both met, he’d say you forced your way into his life. However, you’d say that you saw through his “cold guy” facade and he opened up his heart to you. He was a good guy if you had the patience. That was only one of the many things he admired about you. Your optimism.

He saw you across the room. You were sitting with someone else. A guy. What was his name again? Miles couldn't recall. That was how irrelevant he was to Miles.

"Is this seat taken?" Miles looked up to the voice that had spoken, hoping it was somehow you. However, as he glanced up, an unfamiliar face was staring at him.

"Nah." He muttered, not sparing her another look.

She introduced herself and told Miles her name, but he wasn't listening. He was listening to your laugh. How could he not? Your laugh was practically drowning out every other voice in the room. At least, that’s how he perceived it.

You were giggling at whatever the guy next to you said. But this time, he wished it was him making you laugh. That guy didn't deserve to hear you laugh, or see you smile.

He couldn't stand your laugh unless he was the cause of it. Miles didn’t pay attention to the lesson that day. He was occupied staring daggers into your back. Yet you never noticed.

You sat next to Miles the day after, as usual. It was an unspoken agreement, and you had broken it the day prior.

Immediately as you sat down, Miles started interrogating you.

"You left me with some random girl to go flirt with that moron? He's a dick." He scoffed at you, nodding his head towards the guy that you left him for yesterday.

Right, like you're not. You thought. "He's really not, he's a good guy!" You defended him and continued, "Plus, your partner was super smart. She was probably more help than I could’ve been.”

"Ella no es tú. What else can I say, ma?" Miles casually said.

You tried to hide your grin but failed as a smile spread across your face. The corner of his lip curled in a small smirk. If you blinked, you would have missed it.

"I’m sorry for 'leaving you', Miles. But don’t worry, I prefer you over him anyway." You smiled brightly at him. And for a second, his stoic heart gleamed.

"I wasn't worried." He grumbled.

"You sure? I mean, whatever you say.” You grinned amusedly at him.

The rest of the class period followed as usual. But this time, before the bell rang, Miles bottled up his dignity to ask you, "Ay ma, wanna hang out after school?"

You raised a skeptical brow at his unusual behavior, "What, you starting to like me now? I thought you couldn't tolerate me." You probed.

Oblivious to you, he does more than just tolerate you. He was growing fond of your presence. He was starting to miss the sound of your giggle echoing within the room when he wasn’t around you.

But he couldn't find the courage to tell you just yet. Instead, he murmured, "I can tolerate you. Out of most of these people in here, anyway."

"I'm kidding. Yeah, I'm down, Miles." You teased him and agreed.

What you didn't know is that your initial question wasn't very far from the truth.

The school day couldn’t have passed any slower. If you were being honest, you were eagerly anticipating spending more time with Miles out of school.

The final bell of the day rang, and Miles held up to his side of the agreement. He met up with you after school.

Walking side-by-side, you asked, "What've you got planned for us today, Miles? You gonna wine and dine me?" you winked at him.

"Maybe another day, mami." He cracked a slight grin as he responded, fond of your antics.

"I'll hold you to that. I've got a better idea, anyway." You said as you heard a familiar song ringing through the atmosphere.

You yanked Miles by his arm and pulled him, "Look, an ice cream truck! I haven't seen one of those in forever. Let's go!"

A rare smile adorned Miles' face. Not that you saw it. You were too busy chasing after the ice cream truck and dragging him along.

You approached the ice cream truck. The ice cream man greeted you, "Hey guys! What can I get for you today?"

Without missing a beat, you said "Hello! Can I get the Spongebob popsicle please?" with a bright smile.

Miles ordered his right after you. "Coming right up!" The ice cream man said. He shortly returned with both your orders in hand.

As you tried to give the owner cash, Miles lowered your hand gently and said, "Let me pay for you." It was more of a demand as he handed cash to the man.

You couldn't contain the surprise that formed on your face. "Really? Thank you, Miles! You didn't have to do that, y’know." You reached up to him and peppered a kiss on his cheek as a token of gratitude. "Nah, I wanted to." He dismisses it with a shrug.

The man gave you both your ice creams and said, "Have a good day!"

"Young love. A beautiful thing to see." The owner of the truck said as you both walked away.

You both sat on a bench surrounded by a garden of blooming flowers. It was quite scenic for Brooklyn. "Miles, look. He only has one eye!" You chuckled as you showed him your popsicle.

Unbeknownst to you, you had ice cream smeared on your face. He leaned in to wipe the corner of your mouth with his thumb, his gaze lingering on your lips. An almost too-intimate action for people who were just "classmates." But you brushed it off as him being friendly for a change.

"You're a mess, mami." He chuckled, shaking his head at you. You ignored how he made your stomach do flips.

Miles had led you to a rooftop that he frequents. It had an incredible view of the sun, despite all the tall buildings encased around you two.

Miles and you spent the rest of the evening together, basking in the presence of one another. You conversed for hours, only realizing the time when the sun started to set. Comfortable moments of silence were exchanged as you watched the sun disappear from the sky, the moon soon replacing it.

“It’s a full moon, isn’t it just beautiful?” You admired the moon as it shone down on the sullen streets of Brooklyn.

"Yeah, It is." He replied, but he wasn't looking at the moon. If you had just turned your head, you'd realize the true meaning of his words. He hadn't even noticed the moon. His eyes were fixated on you instead. He believed that the moon couldn't even hold a candle to you.

"Why haven't we done this before, Miles? I enjoyed hanging out with you today." You felt harmonious with him for once, laying your head against his shoulder as you studied his face.

"I did too, princesa. Maybe I will just wine and dine you someday." Miles said with a smirk, gazing down into your eyes with a borderline smitten expression.

A lightbulb suddenly enlightened your brain. You mentally banged your head against a wall. How could you be so naive to not realize it sooner?

You broke the tension in the air and raised your head to look into his eyes. "Is this a date? You know, people that are 'just' classmates don't go on dates." You told him cheekily.

Could he not have made it more obvious? He paused for a moment and said, “I don’t want to be just classmates.”

“So you want to be best friends? Great! Me too." You grinned, feigning naivety.

His face immediately dropped as he facepalmed himself. "Dios mío, no. That's not what I meant. Never mind, olvídalo." He said, shaking his head.

You beamed at him and laced your fingers with his. “I’m just messing with you, Miles. I like you too. In case you haven't noticed."

He sighed of relief as he lifted your entwined hands to press a soft kiss to the back of your hand. You stayed in each other's embrace for the rest of the night.

From that day forward, you never broke the unspoken agreement ever again. And Miles never had to worry about you associating with another douche again. Excluding himself.

You walked into class hand-in-hand the next day. The following days, as well. That's the way it was, and that's the way it would stay. And both of you were content with that.

_________

ella no es tú - she's not you

dios mío - my god

olvídalo - forget it

princesa - princess

[b-lossm]

•*+Change pt.2+*•

Caitvi x reader [just vi for this part, fluffier but still angsty]

Synopsis: wait hes.. alive? pt.1

SPOILERS FOR ACT 2!!

Its been months since you've seen Cait, or Vi. You don't even know if you three two are still together, Lately you've heard rumors about another 'Hound of the Underground' taking on the pit fighting scene with rigor. The description almost sounds like Vi, but black hair? She was always proud of her reddish pink hair.

You walk into the arena and pay the fee to get the red ticket, you notice her friend loris in the crowd and make your way over to him. After one quick conversation later and you find out what happened and that she came her to 'outrun her demons', your anger for Caitlyn boiling over but quickly simmering down once you see your girlfriend "Holy shit....." you say, admiring her appearance, her muscles somehow got bigger, and the black suited her, but you like the pink more.

Standing there she doesn't notice you at first, focus on punching this guy's jaw again, but then she hears your familiar shouting from the sidelines, at first she thought she was hallucinating you again, but then she realizes its actually you and decides to put on a show just for you.

--

After her match you meet her again, hugging her softly before asking her what happened with Caitlyn even though Loris told you, you had to hear it from her "I don't wanna talk about it Sunshine, what she did made me question everything--made me question if what me and her had was even real or if she was just using me for information and my strength" oh your poor girl. You push her head into the crook of your neck "lets rest yeah? is that okay?" you don't wanna push the subject anymore, knowing that she' gonna tell you about it eventually. She cuddles into you, dropping her fists to hold you close "mph- yeah that's great Sunshine" she gives you soft kisses on your neck, missing the feeling of your skin on hers "G'night Y/n" she mumbles defeatedly "Goodnight" you kiss her forehead and rub the back of her undercut.

Before you surrender yourself to sleep you look around her small room, looking at all the discarded bottles and broken pieces of glass, noticing the beat up punching bag that has her black makeup on it, right where her eyes are 'my poor violet' you think 'what happened to us' your mind drifts to yours and hers room in your little apartment in Piltover, the nights and days you three would spend together, laughing and having fun before they had to leave.

--

The next morning you both wakeup with a start, she sits up slightly to see the source of the noise only to see her.. sister? After their argument, she told the two of you Vander was somehow alive and that he needed help.

"I have to do this y/n" she says while grabbing her gauntlets "Please let me come Vi--please" you beg, not wanting to be alone again, she places her hands on your waist, leaning in for a deep kiss coming back up for air she says "I promise I'll come back, I promise you y/n, go stay with Loris for a bit and I promise you that I'll come back" she hopes that you understand, even though her sister is a crazy she it had to be serious if she wasn't trying to kill her.

--

After your tearful reunion with the man, Jinx leads your little group to the outskirts of the fissures, Vi taking the time to catch you up with what happened, how she feels like her love for Cait was one sided all this time after her betrayal. Attempting to comfort her you try to reassure her that what she thinks isn't true, how she's too focused on grief and how she hit you too-- "What..?" Vi stops walking "She hit.. you too?" her anger is picking up, you can tell "umm. yeah..bu--" "No buts y/n what the fuck?? you didn't even do anything" she cuts you off obviously pissed at your guys' ex girlfriend, you sigh not wanting to talk about it "Vi can we just talk about it later" "No! this isn't oka--" she interrupts you again, then getting cut off by Jinx "We're here!!". The both of you look ahead at this weirdly pastel oasis civilization.

"we will talk about this later" she says with a huff after surrendering her gauntlets. You kiss her cheek to calm her down "Alright" you missed that little flash of red that appeared on her face whenever you did that, you miss the little flash of pink that appeared on Cait' face but you probably aren't gonna see her anytime soon.. you think

———————————————————————

act two will have two parts because so much happened!! tbh i kinda dont like this but whatever

[sturnmeovr]

♡‧₊˚ Babydaddy!Chris x Sweetheart!Reader - Indecisive

Your grip firm on the handle of your babydaddy’s passenger door, you take a deep breath before pulling it open, the thick scent of black ice mixed with a hint of weed wafts over you, nearly making you lightheaded. Your face crunching in disgust, “have you been smoking?” you ask him before dipping down into the passenger. Chris sits reclined back in his seat, one hand on the steering wheel, and his elbow propped up on the center console, “what – no!” he spits out defensively.

You knew he was lying; he was quick the lie. You decided to bite your tongue for the sake of what you were about to tell him. The next topic of conversation would ruin his night, much like the topic of him texting another girl behind your back that played like a broken record in your head, ruining every night and day for you since you found out. You crack the car window a bit, “I don't care,” muttering before turning to Chris with slumped shoulders, “just make sure you don’t do it around Bear when he gets here.”

A gummy smile makes its way across his face, “you took my name suggestion,” he coos, reaching a hand out to smooth over your belly, your son making sure to kick as soon as he feels Chris’ hand. As much as you missed the comfortability of being around Chris, you weren’t ready to go back home with him, seeing him every day would just cause you more heartache. Seeing his car parked outside of your best friend's house everyday like clockwork already hurt enough. Your pregnancy hormones were raging, and you were more emotional than you had ever been. 

You blink away tears, giving him a toothless smile, “I really like it. It’s fitting,” you tell me, looking down at his hand still placed on your belly. It was bittersweet, Bear wasn’t even here, and he made it known he missed Chris almost more than you did. Chris lets out a chuckle, feeling the light kicks against his hand, “yeah?” he questions, looking up at you, those icy blue eyes burning deep holes into your figure, “can’t wait ‘til you're back home.” Your smile fades at his words, telling all that was needed to be told. Chris’ face crunches in confusion which ultimately makes you continue, “that’s uhrm — that’s kinda why I wanted to talk to you,” you chime in, looking away from his intense gaze. His eyes alone would make you crack under pressure any second, giving into whatever his wishes were, which is why you stayed as far away as you could. Chris was a dangerous type of man.

He clears his throat, “what is it?” looking back down at your baby bump like he’s reluctant to pull away. He missed the little butterfly kicks from his son almost as much as he missed seeing you waddle around the house with a jar of jiffy peanut butter in one hand and a spoon in the other. He sported bloodshot eyes, you couldn't tell if it was due to lack of sleep or if he was smoking too much weed, the dark bags underneath of them didn’t do him any justice either. Pressing your lips together, you didn’t want to tell him, but you knew it had to be done, “I think I might stay here for a little while longer — I’m not sure how much longer,” your voice comes out small and brittle, like it could break at any moment.

“Sweetheart,” he starts, emotion lies thick in his voice, “wha – what do you mean?” his Boston accent peeking thru subtly. Tears fill his eyes to the brim, and you watch as he blinks them back, scrunching his face before letting a stray tear stain his cheek. He quickly wipes it, looking out the front windshield like he's trying his hardest to find his next words. Staying strong was so hard when Chris was on the verge of an emotional breakdown in front of your very eyes. You had a soft spot for him, and you feared it wasn't going away anytime soon. It took all of you to not crawl into his lap, run your fingers thru his brown locks, and pepper his face with kisses while he cried into your chest. He was a ray of sunshine; seeing him sad was heartbreaking. You couldn’t help but wonder if he really felt as bad as you did or was it all an act to get you to come back home to him. Either way, his emotional state left you feeling gutted – just like the revelation of him cheating made you feel. 

Chris sniffles, making you pick your head up to look at him, “you don’t want to be with me anymore?” The question that had been running loops thru your mind the last three weeks. Did you want to be with Chris? Of course you did. That wasn’t up for debate. The real question was - could you go back to normal with Chris, raising a newborn without dwelling on the fact that he cheated on you? You couldn’t say for sure.

“I didn’t say that,” you croak out, tangling a hand in your hair. You let out a breathy sigh as your hand drops to your bump, “I just need more time, m’sorry, Chris.” Bear was going backflips at the sound of his dad's voice, or maybe it was your emotions doing the work. A light scoff, filled with hurt leaves his lips, “I’ve been giving you time. It’s been weeks,” he says, tugging another hand thru his hair as he looks at you, biting on his bottom lip to keep it from quivering. 

His sad puppy dog eyes are too heart wrenching for you to handle, so you look away. “I know that, but you’ve been parked out here every day,” you tell him, letting out another sigh. He’d never understand the turmoil and pain he caused you. He’d never understand that you’d never forget what he did. You were at your most vulnerable state, your body was going thru so many changes, you were constantly nauseous or vomiting, and you were keeping your pregnancy from the world. Regardless if Chris only had one conversation with another like he claimed, it hurt, and you didn’t deserve it. 

“M’sorry — I miss you, I don’t know,” he blurts out, turning his body towards you to show you have this full attention, “Bears gonna be here soon and I don’t want anything happening while we’re apart.” You don’t dare to look at him until he places a hand on your thigh, giving it a light squeeze. His touch sends tingles up your spine, as touch starved as you were. You missed his touch more than anything, “I just want to go back to normal; to us. you’re pregnant and —.” His hoarse voice getting cut off by yours, “exactly, Chris — I’m pregnant.”

Tears sting your eyes, a few escaping as you attempt to fan them away. Chris hangs his head low, and you can see his tears make water marks on the center console, “I fucked up, I know,” he manages, the words getting stuck his throat a bit, “I can make it better – I promise I will.” 

You were at a crossroads. You didn’t know if you could believe him, you couldn’t trust him after all. You couldn’t trust the person you created a life with; it was crazy to think. The thought makes you lose control of your emotions. The waterworks start and light sobs leave your lips as Chris pulls you into a tight embrace, rubbing his hand up and down your back in a soothing manner. His own tears soaking a wet patch into your hair, you can feel his chest rise up and down as he breathes staggered breaths. It was comforting in a way; the person who caused all your pain cared enough to console you, he cared enough to cry with you.

“Jus’ please come home,” Chris hiccups, making sure to keep his grip tight on you, “I’ll sleep on the couch. I can fix it, okay? Jus’ let me fix this,” he rambles on as he smooths your hair down with the palm of his hand, repeatedly pressing light kisses to your temple as your sobs fade out. 

You pull away from Chris, tugging your sleeves over your hands and bring them up to your face to collect the leftover tears, “I don’t want — want Bear to grow up in a split up home.” The thought of having to coparent instead of having your son grow up with two active parents who love each other, and him, chokes you up. You and Chris both had two married parents who raised you, it wasn't fair that you son might not get that before he was even born. You fail to keep your composure, sob erupting from your chest, “but I don’t see us working if you can’t change your act.”

Wc - 1499

♡‧₊˚ Cheys Note - Big thanks to everyone who helped me reach 600 followers!! I love every single one of you so, so, sooo much!🥲🥰 I changed my handle, no longer m00nl1ghts1vt - I am now sturnmeovr! You guys are eating these angsts up and I'm not mad at you😋🫣 I made this one a bit longer, sorry about the delay! Send me asks or suggestions about Babydaddy!Chris & Sweetheart! <3

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Babydaddy!Chris Masterlist

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[tempobaekh]

Light in the darkness

Pairings: grumpy!bucky x sunshine!nurse!f!reader

Warnings: little bit of angst, a bit of asshole bucky, hurt to comfort, kind of enemies to lovers but it’s mostly buck, no reader physical description so can be read as any appearance, female reader

A/N: got inspired to write this one after i came across @apparentlytheproblem account and enemies to lovers prompt list. there is a lot of good stuff there so i thank her for motivating me to write this, I used some of the prompts from that list, they will be highlighted in the fic. also got the trope inspiration from @buckyalpine (I absolutely love your writing) this fic here I absolutely love it, with perfect amount of angst and cuteness please go read it!! anyways enough of my yapping, enjoy reading!!<3 (also please listen to these two in this order for more feels, I myself was listening to them while writing this and omfg it got me in the feeeels)

The infirmary of the Avengers compound is a well-lit, sterile environment, but you've managed to make it warm with your presence.

Cute little potted plants all over that were practically your babies, small fidgeting gadgets for anyone to fidget with (particularly for Bruce and Tony), small snacks placed in different containers scattered around the infirmary (frequently emptied by Tony), and a few stuffed animals placed here and there, all meant to make the space less intimidating.

You’ve always been a naturally optimistic person, someone who sees the best in everyone and everything. The Avengers compound, with its high-stakes missions and often tense atmosphere, was a perfect place for you to share your sunny disposition.

The team appreciated it—your laughter, your kindness, your unwavering positivity. They said you were a breath of fresh air, a light in the often dark world they navigated.

Every day, you greet the team with a cheerful smile, your laughter echoing through the corridors like a soothing melody. Everyone seems to love you—everyone except for Bucky Barnes.

From the moment Bucky set foot in the compound, he knew he was out of place. Haunted by his past, he kept his distance from everyone, preferring the silence and solitude of his own company, he mostly stuck to Steve and would occasionally have a Sam-sized problem hanging behind him.

He barely speaks to anyone, and when he does, it’s usually to snap or grumble. With you, he’s even worse. There’s an edge to his voice, a coldness in his eyes that seems to cut through your sunny disposition like a knife.

When he first saw you, with your bright smile and cheerful demeanor, he felt a strange pang in his chest—a mix of longing and irritation.

You were everything he felt he could never be again: light-hearted, carefree, a beacon of hope in a world that still felt foreign and hostile to him.

A world where he was still hated by some- or many.

Every time you laughed, it reminded him of what he had lost, of the darkness that had claimed his tortured and scarred soul. He hated that feeling, that reminder, and by extension, he hated that you were the one to evoke it.

From the moment you met him, he seemed determined to extinguish your light. His coldness was a stark contrast to your warmth, his gruff demeanor a perpetual challenge to your cheerful one.

At first, you chalked it up to his history, his need for time to adjust and heal. You were patient, giving him space while still trying to make him feel welcome.

Every day, you made small efforts to connect with him. You brought him coffee with extra sugar, hoping the gesture would soften his grumpy exterior. You cracked light-hearted jokes, trying to coax a smile out of him. You even complimented his metal arm, not out of pity, but genuine admiration. Yet, every attempt was met with indifference or a sharp retort.

Your jokes were often greeted with a curt nod or a dismissive grunt, and your compliments seemed to make him even more uncomfortable, his eyes narrowing as if questioning your sincerity.

Despite your efforts Bucky kept his distance and rejected. When you brought him coffee with extra sugar, he grumbled about preferring it black.

“I prefer my coffee black,” he would say, barely looking at you as he set the cup aside, not noticing the hurt look on your face.

When you made light-hearted jokes, he responded with curt nods or dismissive remarks. When you complimented his metal arm, he saw it as pity, a reminder of his brokenness. Your persistent cheerfulness was like a spotlight on his scars, and he resented you for it.

But deep down, Bucky knew that his anger wasn't really directed at you. It was aimed at himself, at the man he used to be and the man he thought he could never become again.

Your presence forced him to confront emotions he had buried deep within himself—emotions he didn't know how to handle. Every time you tried to break through his defenses, it was like a chisel chipping away at the walls he had built around his heart, and it terrified him.

Each brush-off, each cold response, chipped away at your resolve, leaving you more confused and hurt.

It wasn’t just the rejection that stung; it was the feeling that you were the only one he treated this way.

Everyone else seemed to get along with him fine, or at least, they didn’t bear the brunt of his sharp edges. You couldn’t understand why you were the exception, why he seemed to harbor a special kind of disdain just for you.

You tried not to let it show, maintaining your sunny facade for the sake of the team. But inside, every encounter with Bucky left a small, invisible wound.

You would smile through the pain, and laugh through the hurt, but the weight of his rejection grew heavier with each passing day.

Nights were the hardest, lying in bed replaying your interactions, wondering what you had done to earn his ire. Wondering and thinking where you went wrong, blaming everything on yourself.

And yet, despite the pain, you found yourself drawn to him. Maybe it was the challenge he represented, the mystery of his cold exterior, and the glimpses of vulnerability you occasionally saw.

There were moments, fleeting and rare, where you caught a glimpse of something softer in his eyes—a hint of sorrow, a flicker of regret. Those moments made you wonder about the man beneath the armor, the soul behind the scowl.

Gradually, your frustration and sadness turned into something more complex.

You began to care for him, despite his harshness.

You noticed the way his jaw clenched when he was upset, the way his eyes softened when he thought no one was watching, the way he fiddled with either his dog tags around his neck or his sleeve when he would get anxious, the way the sound of any whirring machine close to him would subtly make him jump.

You saw the pain he carried, the ghosts that haunted him, and your heart ached for him.

You wanted to reach out, to comfort him, to show him that he didn’t have to face his demons alone.

But every time you tried, he pushed you away, and it hurt more than you cared to admit.

Your feelings grew in the quiet moments, in the way you found yourself thinking about him even when he wasn’t around, in the way your heart raced at the sound of his voice, even when it was laced with irritation.

You realized you were falling for him, despite his best efforts to keep you at arm’s length.

You were falling for James Buchanan Barnes.

And he hated you.

One evening, after a particularly brutal mission, you’re restocking the infirmary when the door slams open. You jump, nearly dropping a box of gauze.

When Bucky stumbled into the infirmary, bleeding and in pain, he didn't want to admit to himself why he came to you. He could have gone to anyone else, but something—an instinct, a need—drove him to seek you out.

Bucky stumbles in, clutching his side, blood seeping through his fingers. His face is pale, eyes dark with pain and something else—frustration? Anger? It’s hard to tell.

“Barnes!” you exclaim, rushing to his side. “What happened?”

A strange mix of emotions flooded you. Concern for his well-being, of course, but also a glimmer of hope. Hope that maybe, just maybe, this would be the moment he finally let you in.

He grunts, shaking his head as if to dismiss your concern. “Just patch me up.”

You guide him to a bed, your hands surprisingly steady given the state he’s in. You quickly gather the necessary supplies, your mind racing with questions.

Why did he come to you? He usually avoids you like the plague, very often going to Helen instead of you no matter the severity of the injury.

As you begin to clean his wound, he hisses, muscles tensing under your touch.

“Sorry,” you murmur, your tone soft.

He doesn’t respond, just watches you with those intense baby-blue eyes. It’s unnerving, but you refuse to let it shake you. Instead, you focus on your work, your movements gentle yet efficient.

Bucky watched you work with a mixture of frustration and awe. Your hands were gentle, your touch soothing, and for a moment, he allowed himself to feel vulnerable in your presence.

As you stitch him up, the silence between you grows heavier, filled with unspoken words and unexpressed emotions.

Finally, you can’t take it anymore. You wrap up the last of his wound and look him straight in the eye. “Bucky, why do you hate me so much?” your voice trembled with frustration and hurt.

He blinks, clearly taken aback by your question and his response took you by surprise. “I don’t hate you.”

You blink for a second and then scoff, shaking your head, trying to process his words. “You could’ve fooled me. You’ve been nothing but cold and an asshole since the day we met. I just don’t get it. Everyone else likes me, but you. You go out of your way to avoid me like I'm some plague! You always brush me off rudely and call me a bother when I try speaking to you only to speak with the others like it's nothing! You can't even give me the decency of respect, you pretend that I don't even exist!."

You stop, realizing you have almost gone to shouting, and take a deep breath in.

"Why?" your voice is quiet and broken, hurt and horse. Your eyes glazing with unshed tears,

Bucky felt a surge of conflicting emotions. He wanted to push you away, to keep you at a distance where you couldn't hurt him. Where he couldn't hurt you with his broken soul, and the demons from his past.

But the heart-shattering sadness on your usually lit-up face, made him also want to pull you closer, to let you in and see the parts of him he kept hidden. It was a battle between his fear and his longing, and for the first time, he felt the fear of losing.

Specifically, losing you.

“I’m not...used to feeling this way, okay?” he snaps, the admission seeming to cost him. His jaw clenches, and he looks away, refusing to meet your gaze.

For the first time, you saw something other than anger in his eyes.

Vulnerability.

Fear.

“Feeling what way?” you press, your voice shaking slightly, your frustration bubbling over. “What did I ever do to you?”

He’s silent for a long moment, the tension in the room almost suffocating. Finally, he lets out a long breath, his shoulders slumping, his emotions pressing down on him. “I feel the opposite of hate...towards you,” he admitted, his voice raw and honest.

The revelation left you breathless. All this time, you thought he despised you, but in reality, he was struggling with feelings he didn’t know how to handle. Your heart ached for him, for the battles he fought within himself.

He watched your eyes widen in surprise, your mind trying to process his words.

The words hang in the air, and you can hardly believe your ears. “You...what?” your voice barely a whisper.

Bucky turns to face you, his expression a mix of vulnerability and determination. “You heard me. I don’t hate you., far from it. You’re always so...bright and happy. It messes with my head. Makes me feel things I thought I’d forgotten how to feel. You make me realize that I can feel a romantic attraction towards someone, you make me realize that I can have some goodness in life. You make me feel want. To want something and not feel selfish.”

You blink, trying to process his confession. “You...want me?” you asked, hardly daring to believe it.

Without hesitation, he answers, “You know I do.”

A slow smile spread across your face, and for the first time in a long while, Bucky felt a glimmer of hope.

The weight of his confession settled over you, bringing with it a mixture of relief and tenderness. You smiled a slow, genuine smile that lit up your face. “Such a pretty liar, mhmm. And here I stressed over that you hated me.” you teased, your eyes sparkling with mischief.

He couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at his lips, his usual gruff demeanor softening.

He grumbles, his cheeks flushing slightly. “Shut up and kiss me.”

You don’t need any more encouragement.

You leaned in, your lips meeting his in a sweet, tender kiss. It’s hesitant at first as if you’re both testing the waters, but it quickly deepens, the pent-up emotions of the past months pouring out in that one perfect moment. It was a kiss that spoke of all the unspoken words, the hidden feelings, the pain and hope intertwined.

When you leaned in and kissed him, it was like a dam breaking. All the emotions he had bottled up for so long—fear, longing, hope—flooded out in that one perfect moment.

Your lips were soft and warm against his, and for the first time since he could remember, he felt at peace.

As the kiss deepened, Bucky knew that things wouldn’t be easy. He still had a long way to go, and there were still demons he needed to face. But with you by his side, he felt a renewed strength, a reason to keep fighting.

When you finally pulled back, breathless and smiling, Bucky felt something he hadn’t felt in years: happiness. Maybe, just maybe, he could be more than the sum of his past mistakes. With you, he could be the man he once was—the man he wanted to be.

You pulled back, breathless and smiling, and a little dazed, you knew that this was just the beginning. It wouldn’t be easy, but for the first time, you felt like you had a chance to break through his walls, to reach the man behind the mask.

You can’t help but laugh softly. “Maybe you’re not such a grump after all.”

Bucky smirks, a rare but genuine smile lighting up his face. “Don’t push your luck.”

You giggle, the sound like music to his ears.

As you finish bandaging his wounds, the atmosphere between you has shifted. There’s a new understanding, a connection that wasn’t there before. Maybe things won’t be easy, and maybe Bucky will always be a bit of a grump, but you’re determined to be his sunshine, to bring light into his dark world.

And maybe, just maybe, he’ll let you.

Bucky's confession had changed everything. In the days following that night in the infirmary, his demeanor towards you began to shift.

The once icy wall he maintained seemed to melt slightly, and while he wasn't exactly warm, there was a newfound softness in his eyes when he looked at you.

Still, the past months of his coldness and hostility left a lingering tension between you, a wound that needed healing.

You knew that a kiss and a confession would not be enough to cure his long-standing hostility toward you; you knew you both needed to have a conversation.

One evening, you stayed late at the compound, finishing up some paperwork in the infirmary. The sun had long set, casting the room in a dim, serene glow from the soft lights overhead.

You were engrossed in your work when you heard a knock at the door. Looking up, you saw Bucky standing there, looking hesitant and unsure. Your heart skipped a beat, a mixture of anticipation and wariness flooding you.

“Hey,” he said quietly, stepping inside.

“Hey there you,” you replied softly, setting your pen down. “What’s up?”

He took a deep breath, his expression serious. “I need to talk to you.”

You nodded, gesturing for him to sit in the white chair, that currently had a cute Dumbo plush placed on it. Bucky grabbed the plush before sitting down and placed it in his lap, fidgeting with the ears, his large frame taking up more space than usual, his presence filling the room.

There was a moment of silence, and you could see he was struggling to find the right words.

“I’ve been an asshole,” he finally said, his voice low and earnest. “I’ve treated you terribly, and you didn’t deserve any of it.”

You watched him, your heart aching at the sincerity in his eyes. “Bucky-”

He held up a hand, stopping you. “Please, let me finish, I've been wanting to say this for a while because you deserve an apology. You’ve been nothing but kind and patient with me, and I repaid you with coldness and cruelty. I pushed you away because...because I was scared. Scared of what I was feeling, scared of getting close to someone again. I know my behavior is not to be excused but I'm being honest doll." he pleaded.

You swallowed hard, the raw honesty in his words touching something deep inside you. “I get it, Bucky. But it still hurt.”

“I know,” he said, his voice pained.

He stepped towards you, gently taking your gentle hands into his calloused ones and continuing to speak while tracing patterns on your skin with his thumb, the gesture comforting him. “And I’m so sorry for that. I wish I could take it all back, but I can’t. What I can do is promise to make it up to you. I want to show you that you won’t regret giving me a chance.”

Your heart fluttered at his words, a tentative hope blooming within you. “How do you plan to do that?”

He looked at you with such intensity that it took your breath away. “By being there for you, by treating you the way you deserve to be treated. I want to make you happy, sweetness. I want to be the man you see in me, the man you’ve been so kind and patient with.”

You felt tears prick at the corners of your eyes, overwhelmed by the sincerity and determination in his voice. “Oh Buck…”

“I crave you, doll,” he said, his voice dropping to a husky whisper. “I crave your touch, your smile, your laughter. Every part of you. I’ve tried to fight it, but I can’t anymore. I need you.”

The intensity of his confession left you breathless. You placed a hand on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath your palm.

“I need to know you mean it,” you whispered, searching his eyes for any sign of doubt.

He covered your hand with his, his grip firm and reassuring. “I mean it, Y/N. I’ll spend every day of my life proving it to you if I have to.”

Before you could respond, he leaned in, his lips capturing yours in a kiss that was both desperate and tender. More intense than the last one. His hands found your waist, pulling you closer as if he needed to feel every inch of you against him. The kiss deepened, filled with all the pent-up emotions and longing that had been building between you.

When you finally broke apart, both of you were breathing heavily. You looked up at him, your heart pounding in your chest. “You really want this? You really want me?”

“More than anything,” he said without hesitation. “You have no idea how much.”

A slow smile spread across your face, a mixture of relief and joy washing over you. “Well then, show me, Barnes.”

He grinned, a rare and genuine smile that made your heart soar. “With pleasure.”

He kissed you again, this time with even more passion and intensity. His hands roamed your back, pulling you impossibly closer, any distance in between being excruciating. You responded in kind, your fingers tangling in his hair as you poured all your emotions into the kiss. It was a promise, a beginning, and for the first time in a long while, you felt truly hopeful.

As the kiss ended, Bucky rested his forehead against yours, his breath mingling with yours. “You won’t regret this, doll. I promise.”

“I believe you,” you whispered, feeling the truth of his words in your heart.

The moment of intimacy is shattered by the sound of cheering and whooping from the doorway. Startled, you both turn to see Tony, Natasha, Steve, and Sam standing there, grinning like a bunch of mischievous teenagers who had just witnessed their friends’ first kiss.

“Finally!” Tony exclaims, clapping his hands together. “I thought I was going to have to script it out for you two. Turns out Terminator actually has the balls to confess." he snickered, seizing a snack packet of dried blueberries and munching on them.

Natasha smirks, crossing her arms over her chest. “Took you long enough, Barnes. We were beginning to think you’d never make a move.” the redhead pauses and winks at you.

Steve steps forward, a proud smile on his face. “About time, punk. I knew you had it in you.”

Sam laughs, shaking his head. “And here I was thinking the Winter Soldier was all cold and no heart. Looks like our sunshine melted the ice.”

You feel your face heat up, a mix of embarrassment and amusement washing over you. Bucky, on the other hand, rolls his eyes, his cheeks slightly flushed. “Do you guys mind?”

Tony steps forward, still grinning and munching on his snack. “Not at all. We’ve been waiting for this moment for months. I mean, the tension was practically killing us.”

Natasha nods in agreement. “It was like watching a bad rom-com where the leads are too stubborn to admit they like each other.”

Bucky sighs, shaking his head but there’s a small, genuine smile tugging at his lips. “Well, enjoy the show. It’s over now.”

Steve chuckles. “I don’t think it’s over. I think it’s just getting started.”

You laugh, feeling lighter than you have in weeks. “Alright, alright. You’ve had your fun. Now, can we have a moment?”

Tony raises his hands in mock surrender. “Fine, fine. We’ll leave you lovebirds alone. But don’t think we’re not going to talk about this later.”

He turns to you and points at the packet in his hand, "Also thanks for this sweets," and struts out.

As the group begins to disperse, Natasha gives you a wink. “We’re happy for you, babe. You deserve it.”

Steve pats Bucky on the shoulder. “Good job, Buck.”

Once they’re gone, you turn back to Bucky, who’s shaking his head, a look of exasperated affection on his face. “I swear, they’re worse than a bunch of kids.”

You smile, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I think it’s sweet. They care about us.”

He sighs, pulling you closer. “Yeah, well, as long as I get you to myself now.”

You lean in, brushing your lips against his. “You do. And I’m not going anywhere.”

As you kiss him again, the echoes of your friends’ teasing fade away, leaving just the two of you in the warm, comforting glow of newfound love.

With that, you knew that this was the start of something new, something beautiful. It wouldn’t be easy, but together, you felt ready to face whatever came your way. And with Bucky by your side, you knew you could handle anything.

Note: gifs, pictures, and header DOES NOT belong to me. CREDITS TO THE RIGHTFUL OWNERS!! Feedback and reblog is appreciated.<3

[allthesethingswillendsoon]

Long, long time

CHAPTER FOUR: Pride Parades and Christmas Dinners

SUMMARY: Paige and Azzi learn about gay people, in severely different situations. Gay marriage is legalized in Virginia, and the girls think about what that means to them. Teenage girls can be absolute bitches, especially the rich ones.

NOTE: This one was meant to have more scenes but as I was writing them I realised that it was going to be like way longer if I did that. So the stuff from that bit will be the next chapter, and then the chapter after that the other stuff I was going to do in this chapter. I hope you guys enjoy this one, feel free to give me feedback as I'm the only one editing my stuff so I might be leaving plotholes and grammar mistakes in. Again, thanks so much for the support :)

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Warnings: Mentions of parent leaving, angst, homophobia, homophobic slurs 6.9k words (lol) Pairing: Paige Bueckers x Azzi Fudd

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10th of JUNE, 2007

EDINA, MINNESOTA

Paige Bueckers was five years old when she first learnt about gay people.

She had been driving somewhere unremarkable with her mom and dad. She sat in the backseat, watching the familiar Minnesota scenery speed by in a blur. The radio played softly, the sound muffled by the rush of air coming through the open windows. It was a rare thing, the summer heat. Paige had only experienced it for a few weeks a year for most of her life. She had decided she liked the way the sun felt as its’ rays blared down on her face, even if it left her skin pink and tender afterwards. 

Because of the sunshine, and the fact that it was so rare, nearly ninety-percent of the Minnesota population was outside, some hosting barbecues and pool days. Others were simply lying in the sun as they appreciated the rare chance to catch some vitamin D in temperatures above forty degrees fahrenheit. 

Finally, after what could have been hours or mere minutes in the car, the little family had reached their destination, The memory of where and when would be lost to Paige in the years to come. The day had been unbearably mundane, and up until leaving the car, it appeared that it was going to stay that way; that was until their family (in particular her mom) spotted a massive gathering of people.

Looking at the group was like looking at a rainbow. They had fun, upbeat music blasting all throughout the street. It was so loud that Paige’s little body had shook slightly at a particularly strong bass note.

“What’s that?” She had questioned good-naturedly, pointing at the large group

“It’s disgusting is what it is!” Amy hissed back, before she stormed off to the edge of the footpath beside them.

Bob had held Paige to his chest as they both watched Amy spill a slew of hateful comments at the joyful group of people.

“You’re all going to Hell! All you fags and dykes are!”

A young dark man turned towards her, his body shimmering, skin glittering gold under the sun. With his middle finger raised he yelled back, half-laughing,  “Well I guess we’ll see you there, you crazy bitch!”

Her mom went silent then, before she huffed indignantly and power-walked off in the direction of wherever it was they had been going.

—--------------------------

The moment lingered in the back of Paige’s mind as the day passed, the more she thought about it the more she wanted to throw up. 

Even as she laid in bed, waiting for her dad to come in and tuck her into bed, her mind was replaying the moment like a broken record player scratching its way through the same portion of a song, again and again.

She thought back to the words her mom had used. She had never heard words like those before.

“Fags.”

“Dykes.”

In the dark of her room she whispered the phrases. Simply feeling them leave her mouth was unpleasant, they were heavy, and they tasted sour. Despite the bitter taste that lingered in her mouth, seeping into her taste buds, she kept on going, repeating them over and over and over.

They left a weird feeling in her chest, and she could feel her face twisting and contorting at the tart sensation of saying the words out loud.

She thought of the way her mom had looked, on the side of the road. She had been red all over, a vein popping out of her neck with the force with which she’d said the words. 

It was disgusting. 

Paige, in her very few years of living, had never seen her mom like that. Not when she found out that Paige had made a sharpie masterpiece on the living room walls. Not when she had walked in on Paige cutting her long blonde hair off in choppy chunks with the kitchen scissors. Not when Paige had fed her uncle’s dog chocolate, because “He deserves to try some!”. Even in her worst moments she had never ever seen Amy Bueckers that angry. 

It didn’t make any sense to her, the whole scene had been so beautiful, the group of people glowing red and blue and yellow and every shade in between. Big pieces of fabric had been hoisted up into the sky. The sun had shined down on them like a spotlight, illuminating the beauty of the moment.

So why had her mom gotten so angry? Why had she used those words? What did they mean?

Amidst her pondering, her dad walked into her room. He stopped mid-step and stared at her. 

Paige hadn’t realised that as she lost herself in her thoughts, the words had kept flowing out of her, her mouth had gone numb to the venom that came with saying the names. He continued to stare at her for a minute, he watched as she noticed him and slipped out of her trance. Finally, the words stopped falling out of her mouth.

She turned to look at him and smiled, all milky little teeth and youthful innocence. Hearing those words come from someone so beautiful and young was vile. But hearing it from the mouth of his daughter made bile rise in his throat as his heart dropped to his stomach. It was wrong, all wrong.

Bob realised then that he had a choice to make. He had learnt over the years that he couldn’t control Amy’s questionable politics, something he had chosen to overlook for the sake of love. Yet, the thought had never occurred to him that one day Amy’s beliefs would impact Paige. 

He turned, ducking his head into the hall to check that Amy was still in her spot on the couch, watching whatever lifestyle garbage was playing on the TV. He closed the door softly and came to sit on the edge of Paige’s bed.

“Honey, I need you to know something.” He said it with soft seriousness, piquing Paige’s interest  immediately

“What?” She questioned, big blue eyes staring up at him intently.

“Those words you were saying before, do you know what they mean?”

“No, I just know them ‘cause that’s what mom was saying.”

Bob felt a stab of guilt. That’s exactly what every parent never wants to hear, that their five-year-old was repeating slurs in their bedroom because ‘that’s what mom was saying’.

“Well I need you to know that they are very bad, mean words. And I want you to promise me that you will never, ever use them, okay?” He was looking at her like what he was saying was important, and even though she didn’t really understand, she knew that it really mattered to him.

“Okay. But why dad?” Paige had always been one to question authority, a habit that Bob and Amy had worked tirelessly to decrease. But as she asked her voice was filled with nothing but genuine curiosity.

“Well… you know those people we saw today?” He said slowly, trying to figure out the right way to explain to someone so young.

“The ones mom yelled at? With the pretty rainbows?”

It killed him, it really did, it was the last kind of conversation that he wanted to have with her. He should’ve been tucking her into bed, reading her a bedtime story about magical adventures with swords and castles and happy endings. Not reminiscing on the pride parade that her mom had quite literally rained on.

“Yeah, those ones. They were celebrating this thing called ‘Pride month’, which is for gay people.” As Bob spoke Paige nodded along, taking in the information.

“It looked fun.” She smiled. 

“Yeah, it did.” He smiled back.

“So what are gay people?”

“Gay people are boys that like boys and girls that like girls.” Bob explained, trying to put it into the simplest terms he could muster up.

“Hmmm, okay” 

“And I need you to know that they’re just as important as anyone else. Whoever it is that you love doesn’t make you better, or worse than anyone else.” He said the words with conviction, and Paige hummed in understanding. She was the brightest and kindest little girl he had ever met, it was amazing -and slightly disheartening- that a five year old could understand that respecting other people for who they were was basic decency when her own mother couldn’t.

As Paige stared ahead, deep in thought, a moment of silence passed.

“Do you think I’m gay? All my friends are girls.” She asked, brows furrowed as she contemplated. He nearly chuckled at her question. It was so naive, but the good kind. The kind that came from a place of genuine curiosity and wonder, the kind that was endearing and left a warm glow in his chest.

“I can’t tell you if you’re gay or not.”

“Oh.” This seemed to puzzle her. Her dad could tell her what time to go to bed and what she was going to eat for dinner, but not if she was gay? It just didn’t make sense in her little brain.

“But what I can tell you, is that no matter what you are, gay or not, I love you.” His voice wobbled the tiniest bit as he leant down to hug her tight. “I love you to the moon and back, You’re my whole universe Paigey.”

“I love you too Dad” She squealed, squeezing him as close as she could.

“See you in the morning kiddo.” He said as he flicked off the overhead lights and shut the door.

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The best Bob could hope is that Paige forgets the whole day, letting the memories of her Mom’s outburst fall away with the unremarkable detritus that comes with childhood.

But if not, if somehow the memories did stick, and Paige were to look back on the moment in the years to come, he hoped that she would know better than her mom. That she would think back to the radiant group of people and see them with nothing but love. That she would know her mom was wrong in what she had said.

But above all, he hoped that she remembered that he loved her, and he hoped that that could be enough.

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24th of DECEMBER, 2007

RICHMOND, VIRGINIA

Just like Paige, Azzi Fudd had also learnt about gay people when she was five years old.

It was Christmas Eve, and the Fudd’s were driving to their Aunt Karly’s house in Richmond. 

The house was beautiful, all red brick walls and white detailings, ivy growing up the sides. In every room there were intricate stained glass windows, and when the light shone through the walls turned a million different colours. There were rooms upon rooms, each with their own color scheme and furniture style. Azzi and her brothers would stay in the room next to her parents, with a triple bunk bed and flowery green wallpaper.

Azzi simply adored the house, but what she adored most was the gardens. 

The house was located on the very outskirts of Richmond, so there was much more land than what was normal for the area. Nearly every inch of the property was covered with grass so green it seemed nearly impossible that it could be real. Trees of every kind -orange, lemon, mango- littered the property. The best bit though, in Azzi’s opinion were the rose bushes, found nearly everywhere, under the windows, around the fence. But the best bit of all was outside the back of the house where the flower garden was. Not only were there roses but hydrangeas and lilies and lavender, all leading up to a little gazebo. 

It was simply magnificent. But it also required  a lot of upkeep, a job that aging Aunt Karly simply wasn’t able to do. So instead Karly had hired a local, recent college graduate to care for the grounds. She had been pleasantly surprised at the young girl’s gardening skills, and even more pleasantly surprised when her daughter, Ruby, had revealed that she was dating their gardener, Peyton.

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After an hour or two they had finally reached the stretch of road that led to the house. Azzi got that same giddy feeling she felt every time they visited, the house felt magical. When she was running around the garden everything was possible, she loved it.

Another moment passed, Azzi’s excitement bubbling in her chest, then, the house finally came into view. It was tall and wide and fenced off, though the gates were never closed, literally and metaphorically.

The house was perfect for hosting the massive, Christmas get-together that was held every year. Generosity was undoubtedly an innate trait of the Fudd family. Not one single member of the family, oldest to youngest, could recall a Christmas that they hadn’t opened their invite to at least five non-Fudds. They would always tell whoever they invited that it was a gift to have them there, that the best part of Christmas was spending time with family both old and new. Most often the people invited had lost their own families to disease, or were far away from home for whatever reason, and they would almost always return for years after that, some even bringing the families they’d built since.

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That year, in light of their new relationship and Peyton’s lack of supportive family, Ruby was bringing Peyton to christmas. Karly had reassured Ruby that Peyton was a lovely girl and everyone would love her, but still Ruby was worried that some of the guests' archaic views would make for an awkward gathering.

She knew she was spiraling, but she couldn’t help but worry that even little Azzi would judge them. 

A few nights before the get-together, on one of their weekly skypes, Ruby had tried to bridge the topic with Azzi.

“So Az, y’know how we invite lots of people to Christmas?” She asked, attempting to start the slightly dreaded conversation.

“Yeah! It’s my favourite bit.” She responded, voice high with excitement. Ruby went to continue before she was cut off by Azzi, “Wait, my favorite is potatoes actually. ”

That caused her to chuckle a little, her little cousin’s youthful sincerity easing her worries, if only for a minute.

“Well… I just wanted to tell you that I’m bringing our gardener, Peyton. She’s my…” As she neared the end of her sentence she lost confidence before trailing off quietly. She went silent for thirty seconds as she stared down at her hands. When she looked back up Azzi was staring at her, waiting patiently for a response. She realised then that she still needed to finish her sentence, “She’s my friend.”

“So she’s the one who makes the garden pretty?” Azzi asked inquisitively.

“Yeah, that’s her.” Ruby responded, her nerves only building from the fact she still hadn’t told Azzi about her.

“She’s really good, I’m so so so excited to meet her!” She grinned wide. Ruby knew how much she loved the gardens, and desperately hoped that Azzi would love Peyton just as much.

As her bedtime grew closer Azzi began to grow sleepy. Finally, after her third yawn she decided to admit defeat and called her dad to tuck her into bed, leaving Katie to talk to Ruby.

Katie and Tim both knew that Ruby was dating Peyton, and Katie could sense Ruby’s palpable anxiety about the whole situation. Jose and Jon weren’t yet old enough to fully understand what it meant to date, but Azzi had just reached the age where she could understand the concept of relationships, and she had become quite obsessed with the novelty of the whole idea.

“You know you can tell her honey, she won’t mind, she’ll probably just want to know when you guys are getting married!” Katie explained with a soft smile.

“I know I don’t have any reason to worry, but I am anyway.” Ruby explained. She had always been close to her aunt, who was just as tough as she was soft.

“It’ll be okay hon, I promise.” The red-haired woman soothed. 

Ruby was still very nervous, but she realised that there was no point worrying about something that hadn’t even happened yet. She also remembered that Azzi was the most loving kid she had ever met, and if anyone was going to be supporting her, it was Azzi.

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 After finally managing to wrangle their three young children out of the car, their family stood knocking at the front door step. They could hear footsteps coming towards them. Ruby opened the door and Azzi flung herself into her, she was tall for her age, but not tall enough to reach past her hips, so she settled for squeezing her legs.

“Nice to see you too Azzi!” Ruby chuckled as she shuffled them inside, Azzi seeming intent on not letting go.

The rest of her family had dispersed to go say hi to everyone else there. When Azzi finally let go she was met with the sight of an unfamiliar face.

“Hi Azzi! I’m Peyton, I’m Ruby’s girlfriend, and I work in the gardens.” Peyton smiled, kneeling to be face to face with the little girl. She was really pretty, she had short blonde hair and bluey-green eyes.

“Hi Peyton!” Azzi grinned back, her breath minty fresh from all the candy canes she’d eaten in the car. 

Before Peyton knew what was happening Azzi was throwing herself into her arms, “So you’re the one who makes the gardens so pretty?”

“Yeah that’s me!” Peyton chuckled.

Azzi pulled away from her before grabbing her hand and dragging her out to the garden.

Ruby had watched the whole scene with a smile, of course Azzi would love her. When Peyton turned around laughing Ruby mouthed an ‘I love you’ to her.

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After a long dinner of ham and mashed potatoes, all the guests had spread out around the house and the garden, some playing cards, others having wine.

Azzi had been playing with her brothers in the garden, well she was trying to. Jon was only a little bit younger than her, and could almost keep up with her. Jose on the other hand? It was safe to say the almost-toddler had a long way to go in terms of fine motor skills - and also just motor skills in general.

Ruby and Peyton were sitting in the gazebo chatting when Peyton decided she wanted more cranberry juice. The second she left Azzi came barrelling over to Ruby and hopped into her lap.

“So… Peyton’s your girlfriend?” The small girl questioned curiously.

“Yeah.” Ruby answered simply.

“That’s cool” Azzi responded, unusually quiet for some reason.

Ruby just hummed in response before Azzi continued with a smile, “You’re lucky, she’s really, really pretty.”

“I’m super lucky, she is the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.” Ruby really did feel like the luckiest person in the world. She had no idea how she had bagged someone as amazing as Peyton, it was something she was grateful for each and every day.

 Azzi sat in silence with her comment for a minute, then she added, “So are you guys going to get married soon?”

Ruby bit back a laugh, she did exactly what Katie said she was.

“Well… I think it’s a bit too soon for that. But even if we wanted to, we couldn't.” She responded cautiously. If she didn’t answer right Azzi would be off telling everyone that Ruby and Peyton were actually getting married.

The last bit confused Azzi, “What do you mean? Who’s gonna stop you?”

Ruby tried to explain it in a way that made sense to her cousin’s growing empathetic brain, “It’s a rule the government made. Only boys and girls can marry each other. Gay people can’t get married.”

She nodded along, taking in what she was saying, “So you’re both gay?”

“Uh-huh, we’re both lesbians.” 

“And … ‘lebseens’ can’t get married?” 

“Yup.” Azzi’s little eyebrows furrowed at this, why would anyone stop weddings? It was just silly.

“That doesn’t make any sense.” Azzi huffed, crossing her arms in outrage.

“I know right!” It was bittersweet to watch someone so little learn of the cruel and hateful ways of the world.

“Don’t worry. I’m gonna make them change the rules. I promise.” She said it with such conviction Ruby imagined Azzi storming up to the White House for a split second.

“Thanks Az, you’re the best.” Ruby said, before pulling Azzi into a cuddle.

“Then, when ‘lebseens’ can get married, you can marry Peyton, and I can be a flower girl!” Azzi squealed, there was nothing she loved like a wedding.

“Sounds perfect! I can’t wait!”

They heard the soft click of the back door closing and turned to see Peyton walking towards them with two wine glasses filled with cranberry juice.

“Peyton! We’re talking about your wedding!” Azzi squealed, waving her arms wildly.

“Oh you are?” Peyton laughed, flashing Ruby a knowing smirk, before sitting down next to the two.

Ruby was too happy to feign offense when Azzi moved from her lap into Peyton’s.

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16th of OCTOBER, 2014

OAKRIDGE, VIRGINIA

Paige Bueckers and Azzi Fudd were twelve years old when gay marriage was legalized in the state of Virginia.

It had been a happy day. Oakridge was a predominantly blue town, sure there were a few flag-waving, Trump-loving republicans, but for the most part, it had been a happy day across town. Music played from speakers and chalk-rainbows littered the roads. The gas station gave out a free, small slushie with every transaction over thirty dollars. It was a happy day, but a business day nonetheless.

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Azzi often detailed her intricate wedding plans to Paige. It was one of her biggest dreams, to have a beautiful wedding, she was a firm believer that a beautiful wedding led to a beautiful life. 

She had it all figured out, down to the color of the tablecloths and the thank-you gifts. She knew she wanted the ceremony in her Aunt Karly’s garden gazebo, and the reception to be a healthy mix of indoors and outdoors. Her dad would walk her down the aisle to a live orchestral version of ‘Here comes the Bride’. She would wear a silky gown, off the shoulder, hopefully by then her hair would be grown out, her curls long and thick. 

The one thing she wasn’t clear on was if Paige would be her maid of honor. It was weird, there was no one in the world she loved like she loved Paige, she was her best friend, her world, but the thought of Paige being her maid of honor just didn’t sit right with her. That was the one thing she never mentioned when she spoke of her plans, Paige never pushed it, so she never really thought much of it - she decided that maybe it was better that way.

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The legalisation of gay marriage really did prove to her friends and family that Azzi was a ball of sunshine with a heart of gold.  When the news had come on the night before to announce the news she had sat on the couch and cried tears of joy. 

She cried for Peyton and Ruby, for the gay guys down the road, for everyone really.

She didn’t tell anyone, not even Paige, but she cried for herself too, cried because now she knew that no matter what she would be able to have a beautiful wedding, and a beautiful life. Azzi knew she wasn’t a lesbian, she had crushed on many boys in her grade, but she often felt that she could love a girl too, if the right one came along.

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Paige, on the other hand, expected herself to be rather unmoved on the topic. She had always maintained her position on marriage. She had never had the conversation with her dad, but when the topic came up at school she made her opinions known, she would never ever get married. 

The reason behind that massive, blanket statement was quite obvious to anyone who knew about Paige’s parents. Her mom had just packed up and left, ten years of marriage and a kindergartener just left in the dust. Paige had sworn to herself that she would never be in the position her mom put her dad and herself in.

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Even though she knew she would never get married she imagined the horrid situation often;

She’d be twenty-something and finding herself in some big city somewhere, maybe New York. Sat at a bar he’d sit down at the stool next to her and order two drinks, a whiskey and coke for himself and some flowery, syrupy drink for her. He would be tall, maybe six-foot-two, with broad shoulders, a mess of dark brown hair, and a mouth full of perfect white teeth. It wouldn’t matter whether or not they had hit it off, she’d be in his bed that night, letting herself be touched and touched and touched. It didn’t matter whether or not she liked him. That was how it had to be, she knew that.

In the morning she would wake up naked in a mess of white sheets and stumble into the kitchen wearing one of his oversized white button downs. She wouldn’t have had the chance the night before to take in where she was, the apartment would be massive, all glass window walls and marble countertops. And there he’d be, at the stove frying eggs and bacon, his face serious until he’d see her and the harsh lines of his face would give way to a big smile.

They would sit at the table and talk about whatever it was that you were supposed to talk about when you wake up naked in a half-stranger's apartment. It would be around eight-thirty when he would remember that he had a big, important meeting at his big, important job (that his big, important dad definitely didn’t get him). So he would leave her his credit card and a house key before running out the door as he did his tie. 

Then she’d call Azzi, who would be at some prestigious college, learning about something way too complicated for Paige. They would giggle as Paige regaled the night before and Azzi would tell her how lucky she is and that she should really, really pursue a relationship with him, and so she would. Even in this alternate universe where her dreams of building houses with her dad had and her personal integrity had seemingly vanished, she would still hang onto her best friend’s words like they were gospel.

The days would pass into weeks then months then years. She would end the lease on her crappy apartment and move into his. She would meet his family at a business dinner and laugh and charm them while wearing baby pink heels and a dress that Azzi picked out. A few weeks later, on an impromptu trip to Paris (because that was who she was now), he’d get down on one knee and present her with a massive diamond and ask a question she knew there was only one answer to.

They would get married in a beautiful ceremony, his broad shoulders hugged by an expensive Italian suit, and she’d wear a big, puffy white dress because that’s what he liked and she didn’t know what she liked anymore. When her dad walked her down the aisle Paige would cry and so would Bob, he’d give her hand a squeeze and let her go. Azzi would be her maid of honor, she’d wear a light purple dress, because, as she would have reminded her, purple was her favourite colour. 

At the reception Azzi would give a beautiful speech and both her and Paige would cry and cry and cry. When the festivities had come to a close, the best friend’s would hug and Paige would hold on for a second too long and Azzi would let her. She would know it didn’t mean anything though, because when they pulled apart Azzi would join hands with her husband’s best friend and they’d giggle their way down to their room. 

Then, a few months later, it would be Azzi’s turn to get married. Even in that nightmare world, Azzi planned her wedding exactly as it would have been in any universe. She would wear a silky white dress, off the shoulder, her curls grown out below her shoulders. Tim would walk her down the aisle to a live orchestral version of ‘Here comes the bride’ and Paige would choke back tears in a frilly pink dress as she watched. She’d wince as they kissed, try and fail to keep her composure through her maid of honor speech, then go back to her room and throw up.

She would be two handsome boys and a beautiful girl deep when she realised that she was trapped. She’d know that she had two options, either run away and leave them all behind, the house in the hamptons, the bake sales, the party-hosting, or stay and spend the rest of her life miserable, throwing herself into the lives of her kids and the upkeep of their homes. Of course, she’d pick the latter, no matter what. She would never dream of building a home only to leave it in ruins. But it would ruin her, it really would. Azzi would live next door with her husband and their lovely twin girls and their goldendoodle. They would be happy and they would fuck into their seventies and Paige would listen to a wine-drunk eighty-something Azzi ramble about how good their lives had been, how lucky they both were to have married the men of their dreams and live next to their best friend, then Paige would smile along before excusing herself to go scream into her pillow.

It would only be on her deathbed, surrounded by her loved ones, Azzi holding one hand, her husband holding the other, that she would realise the issue was her. Everyone else in the equation was happy, she was dragging herself down. There would be nothing left for her to want, she had it all, yet it just wasn’t enough for her. Just before her last breath she would squeeze her best friend’s hand and whisper a weak “I love you” into the sterile air and hope that Azzi knew it was for her, for her bestest friend - then again, by then it wouldn’t matter anymore.

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To put it simply, marriage was her worst nightmare. When she was stressed she would actually dream of situations similar to that, a whole, horrible life stretched out before her eyes. Usually she’d wake up screaming somewhere between her first kid and her third annual not-for-profit gala. 

She had always been dead-set on not marrying, but on that day, when girls could marry girls, Paige realised that maybe marriage wouldn’t be too bad.

But then she thought better, pushed that thought to the back of her mind, and doubled-down on her anti-marriage agenda.

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18th of MAY, 2015

OAKRIDGE, VIRGINIA

Paige Bueckers and Azzi Fudd were thirteen years old when they attended the world's worst sleepover.

Shelley McCarthy had invited ten girls over to her house to celebrate her fourteenth birthday. 

She called it a ‘house’ but it was more a mansion than anything else. It was three stories tall, made of sandstone brick and marble, seven beds and baths, and had what was likely the biggest pool in all of America.

Even though summer was just around the corner, there was a bitter chill hanging in the air. Despite this Shelley had insisted on swimming and everyone was too scared to disagree with her.

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They were all in Shelley’s room getting changed - all except Azzi who had texted to say that she would be there in twenty minutes.

Paige was in the corner of the room, a comfortable distance away from everyone else. It was crazy to her that a room could be so large that ten girls could fit in together and she wasn’t within a five foot radius of any of them. 

Growing up for such a large part of her life with just her dad meant she often felt awkward when she was surrounded by girls doing girly things. Azzi was different, they could do anything in front of the other and it wouldn’t change a thing, they were best friends forever and always. But Azzi wasn’t there yet, so she was staring at the ground as she shuffled awkwardly into her swimsuit.

When she turned around she stood face to face with Shelley. Paige smiled at her, unsure of what to say. She had no idea why Shelley had invited her, they only spoke because of Azzi, so she had guessed that she was just being nice and making sure she didn’t feel left out.

Shelley did not smile back at her, instead she looked at Paige like she had killed her puppy and shat in her obnoxiously sized pool.

“Like what you see?” Maya sneered from her spot by the window.

Paige didn’t understand what was happening, what was she talking about? “W-what?”

Shelley smirked before taking a step forward, so close Paige could smell her peanut-buttery breath, “She asked, do you like what you see?”

Everything had become weird so fast, as she glanced around the room she noticed all the girls laughing at her.

“Don’t stand so close to her! She’ll probably try to kiss you!” Tiera snickered from somewhere behind them.

“I-I-I don’t want to kiss her!” Paige half-yelled, desperately trying to think of a way to defend herself.

Before anyone could respond the door opened and Azzi came through smiling. Azzi was like sunshine personified, the tension in the room suddenly dispersed. Everyone returned to normal, except for Paige who was stuck in her spot, staring down at the floor trying to make sense of what was happening. 

Azzi had been at the door the whole time, listening in to the girls torture Paige. It made her sick, it really did. She had always thought that Paige might be gay, but she would never ever in a million years push the topic with her. It was possible she was completely off base with her assumption, and it was also very possible that Paige hadn’t even thought of it herself. Most of all though, Azzi knew that if she was, Paige would tell her when she was ready. 

Azzi begrudgingly pulled Shelley into a hug and gave an obligatory ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY’ squeal before walking to stand in front of Paige. Her eyes were trained on the ground, arms crossed across her chest protectively. 

Azzi brought her hand up and rubbed soft lines on Paige’s arm, “Everything alright?”

Paige smiled back weakly, “Yeah, glad you’re here now.”

“Me too P. Me too.” Azzi gave her arm a quick squeeze before shimmying her clothes off and declaring herself ready to swim.

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Paige made a point of not saying a single word to anyone in the pool - except for Azzi of course. It was easy enough to do considering the fact that every other girl there was ignoring her. To make the situation even worse Paige absolutely hated swimming, and it showed she was a horrid swimmer. Azzi said she had a gift for making treading water look like the hardest thing in the world.

She was glad no one was talking to her, partially because it meant she could fully focus on keeping herself afloat beside Azzi but mostly because she was pretty sure no one had anything nice to say to her anyways.

Luckily they made it all the way through the cake -three layers of vanilla with buttercream and strawberry jam between- and pizza without any incident. Paige was hoping that Azzi being there would be enough to deter any nasty comments, but she had a feeling her presence wouldn’t be enough.

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It turned out Paige was right.

They were sitting in a circle on the massive fluffy rug on Shelley’s floor when someone decided that truth or dare would be a fun idea.

A few rounds had passed before Maya made Paige her target. The second she called out her name the room filled with tension, all but Azzi watching in amusement, seemingly in on some inside joke the other two weren’t.

“Truth or Dare?” The question was charged. It was either pick dare and be forced to kiss someone who’d act like she tried to hook up with them, or she would pick truth and be asked some embarrassing, mean question. 

She went for the lesser of the two evils. “Truth I guess…” 

Everyone was wide-eyed in anticipation. Paige’s breath had suddenly grown shallow and fast, she felt like the room was closing in on her. She turned to look at Azzi hoping for some reassurance, but her best friend looked just as concerned as her. 

“Hmmm, have you ever kissed anyone?” 

It sounded like an innocent question, unlike what Paige had been waiting for so she decided to answer honestly.

“No I haven’t.” That answer would’ve been good enough, the game probably would’ve continued and she would’ve had more time to prepare before she was asked again. But instead of leaving it at that she decided to continue, “I don’t really like any of the boys at our school.”

Laughter broke out amongst the girls at that. Neither Paige nor Azzi had ever heard laughs of that sort. They were high pitched like hyenas and seemed to echo off the tall, stark white walls of the room. Azzi shuffled closer, their arms touching, and for a moment Paige felt like it would all be okay.

Finally once they calmed down, Tiera chimed in, “So you don’t like the boys. What about the girls?”

Now that was the type of question she had been expecting. “I don’t like girls, I’m not a lesbian.” She tried her hardest to sound sure of herself, to get them to back off, but her words came out wobbly and unsure. She could feel Azzi’s eyes on her, watching her as she spoke.

“Sure you’re not…” Shelley said sarcastically as she rolled her eyes.

“I’m not!” She hissed back, this only made the girls laugh harder. A massive lump had formed in her throat, why did this have to happen to her?

“Shut up, you guys aren’t funny.” Azzi had come to her rescue. Of course she had. No one had her back like her best friend. She was so strong, so willing to defend Paige. 

“God chill out Azzi, what are you her girlfriend?” Maya joked.

“Ha! Paige totally likes Azzi, don’t you Paige?” Paige wasn’t even sure who was talking to her anymore. She felt like the room was closing in on her, like she was being squeezed to death, with the way things were going she thought death by wall strangulation might be the best way to go..

“What? No I don’t!” Paige had turned bright red, her face burning hot. She didn’t cry much anymore, but if she did she would be in absolute hysterics at that moment. All she heard when she spoke was another round of raucous giggles and “Yes you do!”s.

“C’mon Paige, I’ll call my dad, he can pick us up” Azzi had risen to her feet and was grabbing onto Paige’s arm trying to pull her up as well. When she finally stood up they both turned to their bags and shoved their stuff inside as quickly as they could.

The whole time a chorus of insults are being thrown at them. Although ‘them’ was really just Paige.

“Yeah, well good fuckin’ riddance anyway!”

“No one even wanted you here in the first place Paige!”

“You only got invited cause my mom feels bad for you!”

“We’re better off anyway without you trying to kiss us!”

Maybe in a normal situation she would have time to think about what they were saying, to let the hurt sink in. But her situation was anything but normal, and she was too busy being upset about all the other stuff to care about what they had to say about her.

The two girls shuffled out of the bedroom down the glossy marble hallways, past the kitchen where Azzi called out with a cordial “Thank you for having us!” before they leant against the massive mailbox at the front of the McCarthy house.

They waited in silence. Azzi thought of consoling Paige but then she thought better. The blonde was radiating something unreadable. Still, Azzi could tell that whatever thoughts were swirling around in Paige’s mind, were not ones she was interested in sharing.

Tim pulled up after five minutes of waiting, Azzi’s text hadn’t told him why they needed to be picked up, just that it was really urgent. He was going to ask them what had happened, but when he saw Paige and Azzi’s look of concern he decided to wait till the morning.

It was only a short, ten minute drive home, but as the three all sat dead silent in the car it felt more like fifty. The whole time Paige had been severely engrossed in her thoughts. When Azzi turned to look at her she thought that the older girl was staring intensely out the window, but in reality she was staring intensely at herself. When they pulled into the Fudd’s driveway Paige did something that surprised both Azzi and Tim, she mumbled a goodbye and a ‘Thank you’ before walking off down the street.

Azzi knew for sure that Paige was really troubled by whatever thoughts she was having, and she had an inkling that it had a lot to do with the things Shelley and her friends had said.

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NOTE: I hope you guys enjoyed this one, the next two might come a little quicker than normal cause I've already got the plot and stuff for them fully mapped out. Like I said before feel free to leave feedback and stuff in my inbox or in my messages.

Thanks again for reading :)

[reidswhre]

secret santa; spencer reid x fem!reader

summary: based on the gift that jim gives to pam on the “christmas party” episode on the office! basically a secret santa!

warnings: absolutely fuffly

a/n: it’s september so that’s means december. i love christmas and i would not stop writing about the office i’m sorry (not really) english is not my first language, let me know any mistakes, also remember that my request are open!

Christmas is that time of year when the world seems to pause in a sigh of hope and joy.

The streets, normally gray and monotonous, transform into rivers of twinkling lights that dance with the wind, as if the stars themselves had descended from the sky to accompany humanity in its celebration.

The air is filled with a cold that doesn't bother you, but rather invites you to embrace a little tighter, to seek the warmth of a fireplace or the soft glow of candles in the window.

It was definitely your favorite time of year.

And you were determined to bring that spirit to the BAU.

"Hello! How is everyone?" You rushed into the office, carrying a pumpkin latte for each of your coworkers. You went to every desk, dropping off their coffee.

"Hey, sunshine," Morgan smiled broadly at you. "What’s with all this cheer?"

"It's almost Christmas, Derek! I’m so excited." You beamed, handing him his latte. "This is the best time of year, of life, of everything!"

Spencer smiled at your excitement. He wasn’t particularly crazy about Christmas—not that he minded it. It was a nice season, sure, but nothing that kept him up at night.

"So, because I’m super excited, I thought we could do a secret santa!" you told your teammates.

"What’s that?" Emily asked, looking a bit lost.

“You’re joking, right?” JJ stared at her in disbelief.

Everyone chuckled a little at Emily’s confusion.

“What? What’s going on? I don’t know what that is, guys,” Emily protested.

“It’s a game where everyone gets assigned a secret friend to exchange gifts with. And on the day of the exchange, you find out who your secret friend is, and you swap gifts based on their tastes, of course.”

Everyone turned their attention to Reid.

“The tradition of gift exchanges in December dates back to Roman festivals. ‘Who gives a gift gains prestige and creates an obligation in the recipient, who must somehow reciprocate the gesture, thus forging social bonds of hospitality, protection, and mutual exchange,’” Reid explained.

“Thanks a lot, Reid.” Derek laughed. “You just took the fun out of Christmas.”

“Don’t say that.” You lightly swatted Derek’s shoulder, scolding him.

“Anyway! Are you guys in? Please!” you begged your coworkers.

“Of course, sounds like fun,” JJ smiled at you.

“Good luck convincing Hotch,” Emily laughed.

“Are you kidding? He’s my best friend,” you scoffed with mock seriousness, making everyone laugh.

“I’ll tell Garcia,” Derek gave you a small pat on the shoulder, smiling at you.

You invited everyone to your house for a small dinner and to exchange gifts.

You were wearing a long-sleeve burgundy blouse, with a black skirt and tights, and your hair loose. You felt beautiful.

You had managed to convince Hotch; it wasn’t hard, he was really a sweetheart, just pretended not to be.

The gift exchange was planned, and you got Garcia. This made you extremely happy; you knew her well and had come up with a great gift for her.

She had been wanting a video game for a long time, but it was quite expensive, and she wasn’t willing to splurge on it.

How lucky that you were.

“Are you kidding!? I’m dying!!!” JJ screamed with excitement when she saw the watch Hotch bought her. Apparently, she loved it.

“It’s nothing.” Hotch gave JJ a small smile as she gave him a brief hug of thanks.

“Oh, cuties!” Garcia smiled.

“You know, I get to give a gift to my favorite cutie.” You approached Garcia.

“Shut up! Really!?” She squealed with excitement.

“Here you go.” You handed her a small box.

“AAAAH! How exciting!” With joy, the blonde with glasses unwrapped her gift.

“She seems quite excited.” Spencer, to your right, whispered in your ear.

“I hope so, because I won’t be able to buy coffee for a month,” you laughed.

Spencer watched you, feeling a bit nervous. He wasn’t sure if it was because he feared you wouldn’t like the gift he had for you or because you looked so pretty.

He didn’t believe much in Christmas magic, but lately, seeing you in those Christmas colors and scents, it definitely had to be magic.

“It can’t be, it can’t be, it can’t be!” Penelope repeated with euphoria when she saw the video game in her hands. “I adore you!” Penelope hugged you warmly.

“I adore you too, sweetie.” You gladly returned the hug.

“It can’t be, I’m going to play this at work all day.” The blonde said as she released you.

Then she remembered Hotch was in front of her. “I mean—no—you know—” She stumbled over her words.

Everyone laughed at seeing the girl struggling and started to spread out into their own conversations. So you decided to head to the kitchen for some chocolate.

“I’ll be right back, okay?” you told Spencer as you got up from your seat.

Spencer thought it was the perfect moment to give you your gift, so he followed you to the kitchen.

The truth was, he wasn’t thrilled about everyone seeing his gift. It wasn’t that he was embarrassed or anything, just… it made him a little nervous.

“I love the decoration.” Spencer commented on the decor in your kitchen.

“Oh, really? I love decorating for Christmas!” You smiled, this season truly filled you with joy.

“Yeah… sure.” Spencer smiled nervously.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” You touched his shoulder, noticing he seemed a bit off.

“Me? Yeah, of course, it’s just that—umm—you know—I—” Spencer stammered. You looked at him puzzled, laughing a little.

“Here.” He handed you a box wrapped in red Christmas paper.

You gasped in surprise. “I’m your secret Santa?”

“Hmm” He nodded.

“Oh God!” You started opening your gift. You realized it was a large pink teapot. “It’s so pretty.” You smiled gratefully, you loved making tea.

“Yeah—well—umm, there are other things inside.” Spencer pointed to the teapot.

You looked at him curiously and opened the teapot. It was filled with small mementos of your friendship.

It had the ticket from the Redskins game you went to when you first met, the ticket from the first time you went to the movies, some colorful bands you used to braid Spencer’s hair from time to time, and many other things that reminded you of memories from your relationship.

This made you a bit emotional, causing your eyes to well up. “It’s so sweet.” You looked at him with misty eyes.

“Hey, don’t cry.” He whispered and used his thumb to wipe away a couple of tears rolling down your cheek.

“It’s just that—I don’t know, it’s so meaningful, it’s so sweet, Spencer, really.” You sobbed. “Thank you so much.”

“It’s okay, I—I thought you might not like it, I wasn’t sure if I should have just bought you the headphones you wanted.” He scratched his neck nervously.

“Are you kidding? This is perfect.” You set the teapot on the counter to hug him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and buried your face in his chest.

Spencer tensed a little but immediately returned the hug, soaking in your scent.

You pulled back slightly from the hug, not completely, so you were quite close.

“You know what could be the best Christmas gift ever?” He whispered against your lips.

“I have an idea.” You whispered back.

“Really?” He raised his eyebrows.

“Hmm” You nodded as you leaned closer to him.

“It’s good we have the same ideas.” He finished by pressing his lips to yours, in a kiss as soft and sweet as the first sip of hot chocolate on a winter morning. It wasn’t a hurried or stolen kiss, but one full of meaning.

As the kiss continued, the world stopped. The laughter and Christmas carols in the background faded away with the touch of his lips.

Christmas was definitely magical.

[blueberrypancakesworld]

Hiii! Can you do one with emperor caracalla and what he would be like as a father?? I’m in a drought of carcalla fics 😭

Emperor Caracalla as a father

Caracalla x wife!reader

warning : fluff, hurt/comfort, mention of family problems, a bit emotional, kissing

info : Anon I love you thanks for the request, Caracalla is just such a ray of sunshine he's only better as a father ;) I hope you enjoy reading and sorry for not having a cover, but today was exausting.

masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everything has always been ours, never his. He may have been the younger one, the one with the problems, the madness and the insufficient seriousness for politics, but that didn't mean everything had to be ours, did it?

No, it didn't have to be because where Geta was in charge of politics and dealing with the Senate, it was Caracalla whose position was used to provide an heir, a marriage to a princess only the best for the human gods. A marriage that didn't bother him a bit, he loved his wife with all his heart, from the moment he saw the golden dress, the jewelry but above all her loving nature was what had won him over.

His sun was at its greatest and the happiness of the imperial family was only surpassed when the priestess announced his wife's pregnancy...a pregnancy that would soon make him a father.

°Caracalla as a father from the moment he heard that his beloved was pregnant from him he cried, not breaking out of his madness for the first time and apologizing to her, ,,I-I...I'm responsible...as much as I'm happy...what if our child goes into madness?" a question he asked her kneeling, his head resting on her lap and his hands clutching her tunic. The moments in the here and now were hard enough and his condition touched her, her hand stroked his head and gently made him look at her, ,,Even if the gods are not merciful, Caracalla it is our child, our little one it would not change anything” she assured him and pressed a gentle kiss on his head.

°The months leading up to the moment of birth were up and down for all three of them, Caracalla getting more and more nervous, seeming to switch back and forth between delusion and his mind. His wife helped him as best she could, praying to the gods that it would not destroy him, and a Geta who took care of both of them. But from the construction of the nursery, the preparation for their birth and the cuddles, it was a time of harmony and love. Every day Caracalla put an ear to her belly laughing whenever he thought he heard something and helping his wife as much as he could, even Dundus seemed calmer and not too demanding of his owner as if they all knew what was at stake.

°The further her pregnancy progressed, the more excited he became, talking to her and his child as if it could already hear him, ,,Of course it heard us! It's a little monkey as often as it moves,” he said, kneeling in front of his wife, who was mostly still sitting or lying down because of her belly, not to mention the pain and discomfort. Whenever he saw the moving and kicking he let his hand wander over it with hers, ,,Just as excited as his father,” she said softly and gave Caracalla another reassuring kiss, giving her everything she needed, almost as excited as the child itself seemed to be...until the moment of birth.

°The late night was filled with screams, in the empress's room the midwives helping her as much as they could and outside a crying Caracalla whose worries were growing, ,,What if she dies brother? A child without a mother? It's my fault, my madness? The midwives will die if she dies” he mumbled to himself, pacing up and down, waving a sword only to throw it away, his brother's words barely calming him down. He looked as exhausted as his beloved when the door opened and he interrupted the woman, ,,Is my sun alive?” he asked ignoring his child and running to the bed, his hand seeking hers and only calming down when he saw her exhausted smile, ,,Yes...I'm alive and so is our little monkey” she said and the midwife gave her the little boy wrapped in a cloth. A little boy with his blue eyes and her hair, a little baby who smiled a smile that infected his father.

°From that moment on, he was smitten with his son, little Solis ortus, who everyone called Solis, from the Latin for sunrise. The little one was born with the sunrise and came from his mother the sun itself, he was the joy of his parents a little baby who almost always seemed too happy, ,,He is so loving...and not full of madness” Caracalla said and wiped away a few tears when he saw the now small child crawling on the floor and playing with a few small figures, ,,Yes he is perfect just like his father” his wife said and once again held his hand.

°The years passed quickly and even though the madness in him did not diminish, erupting again and again and more often, this did not even happen in front of his son, ,,Father is fine Solis don't worry” he pressed out and retreated to his chamber, where he could go about his business surrounded by swords and blood without hurting his wife or son or Geta. In the hours he was gone Geta took care of his nephew in the little free time she had to give the Empress some rest, ,,It seems there are often two to take care of,” she said, giving Geta a grateful look as she turned from her son to her husband.

°The hours with Caracalla were hours of grief and love, she held him through the madness, took the sword away from him and if he cut her, shouted at her or even hit her, she didn't hold it against him. ,,It hurts, but having you back with me again for sanity, with Solis, is more important,” she reassured him as they sat together leaning against the bed, his head against her chest, mumbling words to himself and he kissed her body apologetically and she held him. Before both parents slowly reappeared and took care of the little prince who was their pride and joy.

°Apart from the madness, Caracalla was a good father, the skills he didn't have in politics like his brother or the talent for music and writing like his wife, he made up for with fighting and wit, with understanding and love for animals. For every hour that the ever-aging Solis spent with his uncle in the senate, with his mother on the harp, he spent twice as much with his father in the arena studying and training the animals. Dundus belonged to Caracalla but Solis, at not quite ten years old, had a mature lion, the beast of a ruler, powerfull as a sun and yet always playful at heart. Solis would become the best of his parents and whenever Caracalla noticed that the madness was not in his son, he was genuinely happy and gave his wife a kiss.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@potatoesenpaii , @cottoncandiescupcakes , @k-yurieee , @somepallings , @userchai , @ohburrryoureabsolutelyridiculous

[emocheol]

rainy days

spending time with your best friend at a beach house, what could possibly go wrong? and what might go right?

contains: friends to lovers, sappy joshua, fluff, confession, joshua x gn!reader

a/n: first fic in a month and a half! thanks for staying with me through my writers block, hope you guys like this one <3

now that summer was in full swing, you and your best friend decided to stay at a beach house for a week. you both loved the ocean and had been trying to plan this trip for months. while it was originally supposed to be a whole friend group trip, you and joshua were the only two that were able to agree on a date and decided to go as a pair, leaving a group trip for another time.

the idea was to spend all day everyday at the beach, soak up all the sun you could get, and spend hours basking in the ocean water. what else would you do at the beach?

the entire drive to the house you had been talking joshua’s ear off about how excited you were and all the fun things you could do on the beach. all he did was smile and agree with you, knowing how excited you were for this trip.

the second you got to the beach house you ran up to your room to put your bags away and get to the water as quickly as possible.

you came bounding down the stairs with a smile on your face. your best friend, however, stood by the patio door that led to the beach, looking outside with a frown.

the big smile on your face was wiped off when you came up next to him and looked outside, seeing that it was pouring rain outside. you had heard the steady fall of rain on the roof of the house but you didn’t put two and two together, not wanting to believe that it would be storming when it was so nice out earlier. there goes your idea of spending the whole day on the beach in the sun.

“the universe officially hates me, huh?” you asked joshua, leaning your head against him in defeat.

he patted your head, ruffling your hair lightly in response, “it’s just a little rain, we can still go out,” he said softly, not wanting to ruin your hopes of a beach day- even if it was raining cats and dogs without a single ray of sunshine in the sky.

you looked up at him with a deadpan expression, “its pouring outside, not just raining, shua, it’s pouring,” you emphasized, throwing your hands up and pushing his hand away from you to flop onto the couch in disappointment.

your reaction may have seemed childish to some but joshua understood. both of your jobs worked you to the bone and this was supposed to be your week of relaxation in the sun. you didn’t just book a house near the beach you booked a beach house, the sole purpose being for the beach!

“how about we go sit on the patio?” joshua suggested, tugging on your hand, still standing while you were sprawled on the couch. he figured that at least you two could get some fresh air instead of being cooped up in the house all day.

“if you want to…” you replied to his suggestion, you thought that sitting out there and watching the rain would be rubbing salt into the wound, but you would follow joshua anywhere.

he smiled at your response, knowing that you were just coming out to make him happy, but he would take it.

“good,” he nodded, hand still in yours as he helped pull you off the couch and lead you to the covered patio, “if you look on the bright side… now you get to spend more quality time with me,” he joked, knowing that you’d much rather be snorkeling with the fish and letting a tan set in.

he sat down on the loveseat on the patio, giving the spot next to him a pat to signal you to sit down next to him. you obliged and rested your head on his shoulder, curling your legs up and resting a throw blanket over them.

“can’t wait, sounds so fun,” you said sarcastically, though you both knew you loved quality time with joshua.

he shrugged the shoulder that you were resting on, making your head jostle a bit, “you know you love me,” he said with a scoff, though there was a smile on his face.

despite the vacation not going how you intended you felt at peace. with your head on joshua’s shoulder and some light banter in the air it felt strangely domestic. neither of you were looking at the other, instead watching the waves crash against the shore as the downpour continued.

“i do,” you said quietly, not even trying to keep up your annoyed facade.

neither of you ever said anything but it always felt like your relationship was more than just a friendship. yes, you were ‘just friends’ on paper but there was something more.

over the years you couldn’t help but start to like joshua as more than just a friend. but you pushed it back in order to save your friendship, not knowing that joshua felt the same way.

what you also didn’t know was that joshua had planned to tell you his feelings on this vacation. and although this isn’t the situation he planned he felt like everything felt right. like this was the moment that he had to say something.

“c’mon,” he said, gently getting off the couch and holding a hand out to you, not telling you where you were going.

you raised an eyebrow at him but still placed your hand in his, getting off the couch and standing up, “where are we going?” you asked, you had only been on the patio for a short time.

“the beach,” he replied simply, leading you to the end of the covered patio and attempting to make you follow him to the beach.

you tugged on his hand at his words and shook your head, “are you crazy? it’s still pouring! what if we get struck by lightning?” you exclaimed, staying firmly planted under the overhang to stay dry.

joshua rolled his eyes at your words and tugged at your hand in return, “you came here for the beach, right?” he asked, to which you nodded slowly, “and you trust me, right?” he asked again, you begrudgingly nodded to that question, “then come out here with me,” he said in a sing song voice, swinging your intertwined hands.

“you’re crazy,” you mumbled, but followed him into the torrential downpour, the rain immediately soaking your hair and clothes the second you stepped out.

joshua broke into a run, his hand still in yours to drag you along with him. at first you had a scowl on your face but it quickly turned into a smile, you felt like you were kids again, playing in the rain without a care in the world.

he stopped in the middle of the beach and turned around to look at you, a bright smile on his face that mirrored your own. you were laughing in the way that gave joshua butterflies, he took this moment to study your face, in awe that the person he loved could be so beautiful.

when you noticed joshua’s staring you gave him a funny look, “what?” you asked, poking his side like you always did when you wanted to break him out of his staring.

he blinked at you and his smile became even wider, “i love you,” he said simply, not knowing how else to put his feelings into words. though, this was something you two said often, of course you love your best friend.

“i love you too, shua,” you replied, a little taken aback by his sudden words, “what’s with the sudden declaration of love,” you joked with a laugh.

he shook his head, “no, i’m in love with you,” he clarified, “i love your smile, and your laugh, i love how you’re always by my side, and how you’ll follow me anywhere,” he listed, “i think you’re perfect and beautiful and i think you’re the only person for me,” he concluded, his voice trailing into a whisper at the end. his cheeks began heating up after he realized he spilled his feelings for you without a second thought.

you opened and closed your mouth a few times, not knowing what to say at his sudden confession. this entire moment felt like it was out of a movie. a romantic confession in the pouring rain. hearing joshua say those words made your heart pound, he was saying all the right things, the things you had been waiting for him to say.

your lack of response made joshua nervous, thinking that he had read the situation wrong and you truly thought of him as just a friend. he was about to recant his words and tell you to forget about it when you finally broke into a smile again.

“you big sap,” you teased, pushing his shoulder without any force, “you know i’m in love with you too,” you said quietly, not quite knowing how to deal with such upfront emotions.

joshua looked at you expectantly, waiting for you to recant and say that you’re just kidding and make it all one big joke. but when you looked up at him with the same expression he just grinned, knowing that you were telling the truth as well.

“can i kiss you?” he finally asked, feeling like it was the only logical next step to your conversation. he slowly brought a hand up to your face and cradled your cheek, waiting for your go ahead.

“yeah,” you said simply, not trusting yourself to say anything more than that. all the while you didn’t break eye contact with him, everything felt so right.

you never believed when people said they felt a ‘spark’ with someone but being with joshua felt like even more than that. the second your lips touched fireworks were exploding, butterflies were invading your stomach, and you could’ve sworn the sun was shining on you despite the heavy rain.

the rain was soaking you from head to toe but all you could feel was the warmth from his hands and his smile against your lips.

it was as if everything in your relationship with him had been leading up to this very moment. your lips fit like two puzzle pieces and all the worries in the world got washed away by his touch.

when you finally pulled apart you could’t hide the dopey grin on your face no matter how hard you tried, “did you drag me into the rain just so you could kiss me?” you asked with a little laugh, seeing as you could’ve easily done this all inside the comfort (and dryness) of the house.

joshua scoffed and pulled you closer to him, wrapping an arm around you, “maybe… but this felt more cinematic than doing it inside, didn’t it?” he justified, knowing that he got you there. a first kiss and confession in the pouring rain? straight out of a movie.

“it did… but now i’m freezing,” you decided to mention, the cold of the rain finally settling in as you came down from the high you were feeling from all your emotions.

joshua noticed how your teeth were slightly chattering and shivers wracked down your body occasionally, “shit, sorry, let’s get you inside, baby,” he said, quickly steering you back to the house so you could take a warm shower and dry off.

you followed his lead but raised an eyebrow at the term of affection, “baby? already?” you joked with a laugh, though you secretly loved how easily it came for him.

he gave you the same look and rolled his eyes jokingly, “yes, c’mon i have to make up for lost time, keep up the pace!” he teased, throwing a towel over your shoulders and helping you dry off, not paying any mind to himself. he always needed to make sure you were taken care of first.

so there you were; two idiots in love, drenched from the rain, spending the rest of your vacation making up for lost time.