#Vulkan

[thethronezone]

Primarchs and if they use makeup

Mortarion - No. Just... no.

Fulgrim - Could do makeup-tutorials for a living, he's that good.

Angron - Does warpaint count?

Magnus - The best eyeliner you'll ever see plus eyeshadow.

Perturabo - No but Calliphone taught him how to help her with hers.

Alpharius - Uses makeup to disguise themselves.

Lorgar - Aims to use makeup in a god-honoring way.

Horus - No but he's a big fan of it, especially lipstick and lipgloss.

Konrad - Paints his lips with the blood of his victims.

Sanguinius - Just a little, some gold flecks on his cheeks and such.

Corvus - Swears that he doesn't but he does.

Ferrus - Surprisingly good at it due to watching Fulgrim.

Rogal - He barely even knows what an eyeliner is.

Vulkan - Does the soot and ash from his forge count?

Lion - Genuinely thought some people just looked like that.

Leman - Warpaint all the way. Would eat lipstick.

Jaghatai - Both makeup and warpaint. Uses winged eyeliner.

Roboute - His mom taught him well. Doesn't use his skills though.

[tagedeszorns]

‘I see only one falsehood here,’ declared Meduson.

‘As do I,’ murmured Vulkan sadly, and splayed the fingers of his outstretched hand.

The hammer, Urdrakule, flew into his grasp from where it lay with an echoing chime of metal against metal, as if compelled by a potent magnetic force. The two Iron Hands guarding it were powerless to stop it. Vulkan lunged, hammer trailing in his wake, to tear the cloak from the Gorgon and expose the lie beneath.

A skeleton remained, one of mechanisms and polished steel, of scavenged scrap, limbs and ribs, even an eyeless skull. It had the stature of Ferrus but nothing else, aside from the silver arm.

This was genuine enough, carrion taken from the battlefield. Restitched, hung by wire, fastened by clamp and bolt, it rested limply by the golem’s side, the fingers twitching with nervous animation.

Nick Kyme, Old Earth

So, Curze building an Emperor-puppet out of human bratwurst is a big thing in Warhammer fandom, but the Iron Hands jury-rigging the original Primarch arm onto some horrible Ferrus-Pinocchio is okay? 😂

Also, let's not forget about Vulkan going full on Mjölnir with his hammer.

[int-smnt]

Art practice first, and an honest attempt at the primarchs second, my main interest was making everyone look visualy distinct. Ordered by how much i liked the drawing.

[toffee32]

Ferrus Manus please destroy that perfidious artifact of Chaos now

[the-raven-lady]

Primarchs' Canon Voices

I don't think enough of us have heard the canon voices of the Primarchs so I made a supercut of all of them from the Horus Heresy: Legions game trailers and 40k cinematics.

(might have messed up a couple but I have them solid for the most part)

[shadefish]

so a year or two ago I decided to do my own set of designs for the Primarchs. I never finished it but, here are the unfinished designs I did do!

[ltmctrung]

it is a time of legend. And overpriced alcohol

[frythebrains]

Primarch political marriage AU where the Emperor attempts to make the primarchs care more about humanity by forcing them to get married. Thankfully, they're allowed to pick their own consort and because Big E can't do anything without being extremely extra (and because it's an excellent way to generate a hell of a lot of good press), there's going to be an elaborate series of parties to display the best that the imperium can offer in the way of potential mates.

Feat.

- the entire Death Guard becoming the Mortarion Primping Squad (led by Typhon) in the hope that getting laid might cheer Mortarion up

-Fulgrim fully understanding the assignment and DOMINATING the entire first night. He really doesn't want to have to pick another wife, though.

-Dorn becoming absolutely fascinated with shapewear- he hadn't ever thought that clothing could be engineered like that before.

-Ferrus Manus trying to hide against the wall, since he has no idea how to talk to women

-Konrad Curze is strangely popular, and gets more popular after he starts predicting the deaths of anyone who dares approach him- the girlies love some fortune telling

-Bobby G calling his mom to ask for advice on how to woo women

-Magnus becoming dejected that women don't flock around him like Fulgrim and Sanguinius. He hasn't put it together that it's because he keeps being a giant nerd about magic and no one has any idea what he's talking about.

-Perturabo is determined to be married before Dorn, so he's brought in Caliphonie to help him pick what to wear. He proceeds to ignore her advice about how to actually win over women.

-Lion getting dancing lessons from Luthor

-the imperial press being flooded with augmented pictures and bios of the primarchs, all to make them seem like romantic heroes. The imperial press in general is just out of control the entire time...

-Malcador really wishing he told the Emperor that this is His worst idea yet

-the Alpha legion getting in a lot of cross-dressing practice.

-Leman Russ refusing to marry any woman who cannot wrestle him to the floor. He doesn't care that they're all baseline humans, any woman worthy of bearing his children should be strong!

-the Mournival taking bets on who's going to get married second (because obviously Horus is going to be the first)

-Sanguinius getting overwhelmed by the amount of attention he is receiving and cocoons himself in his wings at some point in the night. He refuses to come out, even for snacks.

-Lorgar doing well until he tries the whole 'God is telling me that you're my wife' line.

-Horus using the worst pickup lines imaginable and getting away with it.

-Vulkan being delighted by the chance to do something that's not war related for once. He has an absolute blast dancing, although he might be a little too enthusiastic.

- Corvus trying to escape and having to be dragged back into the party by the custodes (under the Emperor's explicit command)

-Jaghati showing up with a whole-ass herd of horses to prove his fitness as a mate

-Magnus is the sluttiest-dressed in the entire room, scandilizing Lion and Lorgar. He even pierced his nipples for the occasion.

[lead0]

happy ween

[magicalduck21]

[incorrect-primarchs-quotes]

Vulkan: *Dies again*

Konrad: Timer starts now! When is he coming back? I say two months.

Angron: Bullshit. One month.

Fulgrim: Nah, half month.

Sanguinius, sobbing: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! VULKAN JUST DIED!

Dorn, scratching his chin: One week.

[staticymaticyyourlifeisatravesty]

I have the horrible mental image of the Emperor holding a sandal and chasing after one of his sons after finding out they had a kid yelling "Why aren't you sterile!?" and the poor primarch on the receiving end just sobbing and running away yelling "I don't know!" It's so fucking dumb but I just had to share it

[ilisteria]

Guess who's not dead (yet) and back to shitposting

Original image:

[little-miss-bioweapon121]

Sanguinius introducing (most) everyone to his baby! Little Samael was created through the most normal means the spawn of a primarch could ever hope for: being splice cloned by the Eldar from a rib Sanguinius lost in battle, how adorable!

(Planning more interactions with the other primarchs and splice baby soon)

@moodymisty @lemon-russ I think you’d appreciate this

[toffee32]

Vulkan changes his mind! This one is very much boop-able.

A follow to this

[thethronezone]

Primarchs at the birth of their child

Mortation keeps trying to tell the midwives how to do their job. He's not doing it to be a dick but he really comes of that way. He's wearing those plastic shoe covers.

Fulgrim has the balloons, he's got the confetti cannon ready, he's documenting the whole thing. Probably has an artist in the room, making a commemorative painting.

Angron is pacing around the room and glaring at the midwives, freaking them out. Has to be escorted out so they can do their jobs in peace. Still pacing outside the room.

Magnus is so fascinated by the process that he almost forgets to comfort the mother of his child. Spouts a bunch of random fact about pregnancies, childbirth and the human body to distract them from the pain.

Konrad is freaking the midwives out but they are too scared to ask him to leave. He's not even trying to be scary for once, he's just super focused on the delivery and can't look away. He hasn't blinked even once in twenty minutes. One of the midwives are crying.

Lorgar won't stop yapping. Oh what a glorious moment! Praise God! Another member for his flock to guide! Asks if he can save the umbilical cord and the afterbirth. For religious purposes. Lorgar, you fucking freak, no.

Perturabo keeps complaining the whole time. Why is it taking so long? Are the midwives sure they know what they are doing? The room is not big enough. Grumbles when the midwives throw him out.

Horus brought the entire Luna Wolves legion with him, they are all waiting in the hallway right outside the delivery room. He's filming the whole thing, providing commentary like it's a sport event.

Alpharius is there. Omegon is also there, disguised as a doctor. In fact, every midwife just might be an Alpha Legionnaire. They are all pretending everything is normal.

Sanguinius is acting like he's the one giving birth. He's crying so much. He's just- he's just so darn happy. The midwives don't have the heart to tell him to calm down. Is getting weirdly hungry?

Vulkan is yet another one that has to be escorted out of the delivery room. He was just too damn cheerful and kept interrupting the midwives by telling them how happy he was and that he's so excited to be a father. Like bro, they get it, but stop shaking their hands.

Jaghatai is right there, holding the hand of the mother to his soon-to-be born child. His leg is also vibrating at the speed of sound. He's so damn hyped but keeps calm so he won't be thrown out.

Dorn is unhappy because the birth is not taking place at the hyper secure, secret bunker he built for just this moment. He's barricading the room for "security reasons". Was asked to leave but straight up just said "no" and they couldn't do anything about it.

Leman is another Primarch that brought his entire legion with him. He was also promptly shoved out of the delivery room cause he kept getting in the way of the midwives. Stands outside the door, whining, wanting to be let back in.

Lion just stands in the corner, unmoving, barely saying anything except every now and then when he tells the midwives to work faster. Is internally freaking out about the whole thing.

Roboute falls asleep in a chair, covered by the baby blanket, and only wakes up when the delivery is well under way and almost done. Please forgive him, he ain't gotten a good night's sleep in years.

Corvus is also freaking out, though compared to Lion, is much more vocal about it. He's already convinced he's going to be an awful dad and that the child will hate him. Corvus, please, chill.

Ferrus is trying to distract himself from the fact he's about to be a father by focusing on the tools and the scientific aspect of it all. He is also freaking out but refuses to show it.