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ermmm the plank ton…. got inspired to make my own design because designing is fun
#hyper art#spongebob#sheldon j plankton#that youtube thumbnail is so fucking funny#its been in my feed every day#and i laugh every time i see it#anyways this was fun#i like military aesthetic plankton#capilano is actually the production i saw irl#and their plankton was GREAT#ok enough rambling#karen plankton
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click for better quality!
are you gonna start climbing, or what? / needletail
#my art#do not copy trace or steal#needletail#wc#waca#warrior cats#wc art#uhhhh I DO THIS EVERY TIME i forget what my normal tags are#if i said ive been working on this all day please dont take me literally . ive been working on it off and on all day i probably spent like#3ish hours total on this thing#LITERALLY RIGHT AS I STARTED THIS ONE OF THE TREES OUTSIDE. HALF OF IT BROKE AND FELL LMFAO everything + everyone is alright dwdw#i just needed to stare at it for a while . and there was also a butterfly i brought inside and fed hummingbird feed to with a cotton swab#this is a request from twidder :-] my account is private bc im weird about twitter but if mutuals can ask for my user they can ^_^#THIS IS A NEW COLORING METHOD if it looks weird pls tell me and i will go about it differently bc its still experimental#scratching my chin OH YEAH i repotted almost all of my plants yesterday i have like four more left to go#if this is out of character for her also please let me know i have not read avos . or anything beyond that x_x
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stede is 'oh this place has something related to my interest i must go in immediately' autistic and izzy is 'if we deviate one inch from my plan for today i will murder someone' autistic
#stede wandering off into the forest to look at bugs was not on the schedule or any of izzys contingency schedules#new thing i think would fix izzy: a clear fucking plan#in the nebulous reunion timeline future i see izzy researching every port town they are gonna stop in HARD so he can figure out everywhere#stede + ed might possibly want to go and plan several routes for the day to keep himself calm in the inevitable chaos#(and yet somehow every time stede finds something he missed and they still go off script anyway)#(he tries to go separately around port from them one time and its a fucking disaster; someone gets stabbed; so he just resigns himself to#incredibly stressful port stops)#its not like stede + ed mean to do it!! theyre both awful for it individually and they just feed off each other#its ok because theyre very good at letting izzy have the deck Exactly how he wants it and scheduling as much big picture stuff as they can#with him#(when stede realises theyve been the cause of like. 65% of izzys stress they finally agree to let him redo the rigging as an apology and#they suddenly realise watching him buy the supplies that hes just as bad as them in his own way)#(he absolutely terrorizes the rope guy but they have never seen him so relaxed as when he was up there redoing all the lines)#nyxtalks#ofmd#izzy hands#israel hands#stede bonnet#you can pry autistic izzy away from my cold dead hands
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I haven't checked the 5D's Tag on here in a minute but it seems pretty uninhabitable
#sorry i know not to feed the trolls and guys who jork one out for ragebait but golly#every second post is something like that#also 'zexal is like the american government' is actually the funniest line ever conceivwd#i dont have any other opinions keep rocking it up with YUGIOH!!!!!#also hi everypony hows it going. ive been sleeping for the last few weeks#its kinda getting boring but ive been drawing some pieces to post soon!! hashtag excited#random ramble#also sorry i know i post my silly yaoi on here but i genuinely forget people are on tumblr and thst i can post on tumblr#but i dont think anyone rlly cares... sorry... :pensive: one day ill make an impact.
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sorry im gonna be an asshole but if my dad knew he couldnt take care of us with the progression of his diseases then why did he fight so hard for custody. im 20 yrs old i shouldnt still be thinking abt this but still like. a billion years of neglect the fact that he is sick is irrelevant when he knew very well that he wouldnt meet our basic needs. sorry. and now its on me to take care of 2 mostly-adult teenagers who hate my guts and still think they're 12 years old and cant go to the store. or clean. or whayever. AGHHHHHHH
#i dont know why everyone is in this dream world where we're still so young. even my dad acts like im out of line by staying somewhere other#than his house. like im 14. and again. my sisters just genuinely seem like they dont understand that theyre grown now. cant we all just tak#care of ourselves? ??#if he didnt have custody i would have hated both of them even more but at least we would have been taken care of#every time i have this conversation with him hes like 'but i cant do anything..!' he can. ive seen that he can. he works from home hes on#the god damn couch all day. most of his work days hes just on tiktok waiting for people to call him. he doesnt do much of anything. youre#telling me you cant do the dishes or go to the store just once in a while ?#and then he says like. but thats what my spouse would do for me blah blah .................. single people still manage to feed themselves#somehow/. maybe its magic. maybe im an asshole for saying this. but seriously. dont be like this and then get angry that i like staying at#my moms better. there i just have to worry about myself. and because of that im more apt to do things for other people! bc im not#burned out all the time !#this is so dumb to complain about im 20 like. shut up. but wah its just tiring after like.... 10 years. lmao
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So I hit my 700th edit for the WHA wiki today, because I am a totally normal person
#For the record I have been there for. 27 days.#That makes an average of 26 edits a day which is even more terrifying because I definitely was not updating every day#Also this is for the Telepedia Wiki not the Fandom one#Anyway you should check it out!#In maybe a week because the website cache is super slow for some reason when you're not logged in#But I'm having fun#The nice thing about working on a wiki where there's actually other people doing stuff#Is that they can do the boring stuff like character bios and etc while I run around doing the fun stuff like pages on animals and plants#Anyway I was working on the Eldroxen page which are the big fluffy ox from the Silver Eve Procession#And it was so funny collecting info on them from the main series and then checking Kitchen real quick and SURPRISE! THEY'RE EATING IT!#I mean I should have expected this after having watched Dungeon Meshi and yet~~~#Also funny was that I copy+pasted the page coding for one the (food) animals as a template for this giant Mole-worm beast page but#forgot to remove the line about it being for food and afterwards had a laugh and then removed it#But now I'm like. They probably WOULD eat that sucker. Giant mole worm/snake/dragon thing? That'd feed a whole town!#Qifrey could have an entire audience watching how he'd prepare and season it#Anyway if you've been wondering where I've been that's it#Also funny story: during the Covid pandemic I stayed employed when my coworkers got let go because they needed me to catalogue an entire#new set of guided reading books; and have these sets have a digital checkout instead of the old-school card catalog we were literally still#using in 2020. Anyway I went all out with the organization of the books and the boxes and even made a reference binder for the books#via subject so teachers/tutors could find specific subjects and reading levels etc#(I'd have done a digital way to search for results but honestly half the teachers couldn't figure out how to sign in to the laptop. So.)#Anyway. Only a handful of teachers actually used these books and two years later the school switched to a new reading program#that came with its own set of books and lessons so this 10k reading set was essentially unneeded (and my dear coworkers never got rehired)#Anyway I learned last week that they're clearing out that room and all of those barely-used books are getting thrown out 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃#Isn't that funny#Literally everything is just sandcastles built in the surf#I'm so glad I already accepted this during my pumpkin carving years because otherwise I think I'd be upset#Anyway I'm gonna go play my spooky fishing game
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MY BOOOOBS I MISS MY BOOBS I HATE LOSING WEIGHT‼️‼️‼️ 🤬🤬🤬😭😭😭
#EVERY DAY MY BRAS FIT WORSE AND WORSE. im down to one that has been too small for me since MIDDLE SCHOOL and now its nearly too big. SOBBING#living alone is so bad i neeeeed to get a fucking handle on feeding myself jesus christ im in HELL#emily.docx
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every day I wake up and pray to whichever deity is out there blessing demon slayer and bnha with a gazillion seasons for haikyuu season 5, haikyuu movies, and haikyuu post-timeskip full adaptation
#one day i will snap and my wallet will suffer from impulsive purchases for my hq prayer shrine#ITS NOT FAIR ITS NOT FAIR WHY DOES HAIKYUU GET THIS TREATEMENT#like?!?!?!!?!?!!!!!! 2 FUCKIJG MOVIES TO COVER NOT PNLY 2 OF THE MOST PIVOTAL MATCHES IN THE ENTIRE SERIES#BUT THE ENTIRE TIMESKIP??!??!?@?!?!!#AND ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL ENDINGS EVER WRITTEN FOR ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SERIES EVER WRITTEN#i am goign to swallow glass everytime i think about this i get so so sick#ITS NOT FAIR THAT THE MOST DISGUSTING GODAWFUL GOONER FEED ANIME OUT THERE GETS SEVERAL WELL FUNDED SEASONS#AND HAIKYUU IS HIT WITH THIS!??!@?!?!??!!!!!!!!!!#im not talkijg aboht bnha or kny there i mean some of the reallt questionable titles that have been making rounds the past few years#rambling about stuff#genuinely so so so sad and upset bc why can something like aot get the treatment and care it got but not haikyuu#is haikyuu not profitable??????? do they not see the global impact haikyuu has left#the first movie broke my heart with how much was left out. like everything that did make it in was beautiful gorgeous perfect i cried#several times but GOD THEY LEFT OUT SO FUCKING MUCH#I NEED TO SEE EVERY SINGLE TIMY THING FROM THE KAMOMEDAI MATCH ANIMATED#lol if they give like 5 seconds total for the fukurodani mujinazaka match i will be ending myself#and they cannot say the first movie wasnt popular the numbers do not lie
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boutta start ordering rocks online again just to feel alive
#im joking#but also man my days are so boring right now#struggle to wake up at 5;30 stumble out of bed at 8 maybe if i'm lucky#stare at computer screen listlessly and maybe get stuff done#most exciting part of my day is when i get to chat with my bf for a little bit in the afternoon#and then when people get home so i get to say hi for a few minutes b4 they're off doing stuff (fair)#and then i get ready to go to bed at 9:20pm after i feed my cat and it begins anew#i have got to get back into one of my hobbies or something the tedium is getting to me rly badly#need 2 get that work desk so i can do crafts in the craft room or make one idc#also the weather has been truly abysmal since we moved#hot and in the 90s and obscenely humid so i can't really muster up the willpower to want to go on a hike#augh#personal stuff#i think it's also bc i was just on an amazing fun 5000 mile road trip where i was constantly looking at new stuff and talking and having fu#and now im home and its boring here and i can't look at mesas and kiss my boyfriend and do fun activities all day every day#its like my brain is a rubber band that was stretched to the max over the course of that trip by sheer amount of enrichment#and now that i'm back home the amt of enrichment is so so much less that the brain rubber band is just loose n floppy#at least for now while it gets used to what is a much more normal amount of enrichment
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microdosing on cannibalizing my own flesh by reading Richard Silken poems. and falling in love
#this post was brought to you by kaz. ty for the organposting kaz#cannibalism#the triangle of cannibalism#got to have a delightful car ride w#cosmic#and his mom this weekend where we talked about technology and volleyball and poetry#and i got to lose my mind about ''these our bodies possessed by light/tell me we'll never get used to it'' which still rips my guts out#and feeds them to me. to this day. every time i read those lines i become a little more unraveled. my god#richard you minx. i could hug you#richard siken#snowswords#oh yeah and the inherent destruction of building a partnership. its good destruction. you gotta figure out how to be part of a whole#that's life in general too. i think doing romance with people really puts a microscope on the process. at least for me.#like damn being with cosmic means i have less freedom to up and do whatever i want. i can still do almost anything i want but now it's#important to give him a heads up. or maybe he'd like to do this too i should wait for him. or there's something he'd like to do that#im invited along for!! i'll do the original thing i wanted to do another time so we can do this now#yknow? yeah. im destroying snow (singular) to create snow (member of duo). and that helps me remember ive never really been a singular enti#this is its own post isnt it. ok wait#Richard silken#sigh spelled his name wrong the first time my bad
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Looking up while brushing my teeth
It's me in the mirror
Hadn't seen him in a while
Welcome back, me
#I've been so giddy lately#actually no clue what giddy means but it feels like a nice word#im literally trembling with stress sometimes and school is killing me#but i wake up in the morning. take a shower. brush my teeth and get nice NICE comfy clothes#and i make breakfast and make my bed#and feed gato and help mom and start the day on time#and enjoy speaking in class and proposing stuff#and every day i have to have lunch in a hurry so i can come home and feed gato and brush my teeth and go back to class#and its awful but i still do it cause i love gato#and i spend some time with friends and maybe i eat a little dessert cause i deserve it#and i do my homework and have dinner and organize the house a bit#and brush my teeth. play with gato. put on pajamas#maybe text some friends and read some fanfics#and i go to sleep and i sleep well even if gato wakes me up at 2am#and im just#living#and i wake up the next day and realize. i couldn't have done this a year ago#and every day i wake up is amazing cause i got so close to giving up#im very glad im still alive#love mom and gato and this small corner of the internet and my friends#and i love myself#couldn't have done this without me#god im crying aksjdjdjdjsk#lukkas rambling nonsense#They said 'TrAnsiTiOniNg DoEsnT CuRE dePreSsIon'#AND IT DOESN'T but GOD DOES IT HELP
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do you want me to fucking go off on you? do you truly fucking want that mother?
#“oh you and your sister never listen to me and blah blah blah” we fucking do (or at the very least i do)#“you guys never help out” does me doing the litter and taking out the trash and on occasion hand washing the dishes mean#fucking nothing to you? does me sweeping the floor every once in a while because you chose to keep us in an area that is ALL SAND/DIRT ROAD#for whatever stupid ass reason also meaningless? does me doing my damn best to help out mean fucking nothing?#do you want me to kill my self. do you want to lose your eldest child to something YOU could have fucking prevented all because you can’t#stop being a bitch to him all the time? do you really fucking want that mom? because at this rate i am once again on the road to fucking#attempting it. i’m so god damn sick of how you treat me. the only time i can do anything i want is at night. i stay up super late playing#games with my friends because its the only time in the day when you aren’t bitching and whining for me to do something you don’t want to do#for the past several days i’ve been up until five in the damn morning just to do something that makes me happy.#you misgender me. you deadname me. you refuse to accept any aspect of my identity. you don’t treat me like a god damn person.#i have so many different ways i can consider attempting if i truly wanted to. the only thing keeping me alive is my friends. because they a#least show that they fucking care and actively want to do things with me. like group drawing or playing video games.#YOU on the other hand; mother; yell and get mad at me over the stupidest shit and never fucking apologize.#i cannot recall a singular time you’ve apologized for being a complete bitch to me over something so fucking unimportant.#and yet i’m expected to be completely fucking fine and happy all because you provide me with the bare fucking minimum.#”i clothe and feed and provide a place for you to live” THAT IS THE BARE FUCKING MINIMUM. sure you could argue over the fact i’m 18 and#should be out working somewhere. but you give me so few opportunities for going places and even considering getting a job or finally gettin#my driver’s license. plus i would rather fucking die than work any food service or customer service job. because i’d be going somewhere#where i’d mostly get talked down to or yelled and then come home and have the same shit done after working for hours and getting minimal#pay. i’d rather work on my own fucking terms with commissions than go into any job where i have to interact with others in public for any#reason. where i’d be treated just the same as at home. like someone who isn’t a person and doesn’t deserve anyone to be nice to them.#i constantly so desperately wish that maybe one day soon i’d find someone to be with romantically and that i could maybe live with them and#get out of this hell hole that i’m supposed to call home. to go somewhere and have my efforts appreciated. to go somewhere where i’d#actually fucking be loved. i shouldn’t have to wish so god damn hard for a better life all because my mother can’t fucking treat me like a#person with hopes and dreams and thoughts and feelings.#i’m ending this rant here before i get too angry and upset. see you all in maybe an hour.#suicide mention#ask to tag
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shamelessly vagueing here and this sounds harsh but jesus some people really need to start realising not everything is about them.
not in a stuck up, the world revolves around me, arrogant way. but in a they’re not laughing about you, they’re not gossiping about you, you’re just insecure, reading into every little thing, hurt and need help type of way.
#it annoys me so much and i feel so bad saying it because i used to be one of those people but people really just need to take my word here#and no amount of reassurance will help these people it will only make it worse because they feed off of it and if you don’t reassure them#they’ll think you’ve betrayed them and have been talking about them next#i’ve been one of these people and I KNOW it feels really shitty and it’s really hard to get through but there comes a point where it’s just#straight up self sabotage#its not about other people anymore you’re just doing it to yourself#and it honestly pisses me off because from an outside perspective you’re just bringing everyone else down instead of doing anything about i#i KNOW mental health is more nuanced than that and that sounds so mean but ugjansiwnsjwo it’s just been annoying me#i’ll support you 100% but you cannot be coming to me every single day saying you know blah blah blah hates you when actually they think the#are your friend#so now YOURE the one talking behind peoples backs and hurting people and i CANNOT STAND ITTTTT!!!!!#just ugh#vague posting for the fun of it and it’s 6:00am and need something to distract me from crocheting#and i’m really trying not to be mean by saying all of this#just a post made out of frustration#i want nothing but healing for these people all they’re doing is pushing more people away and i don’t think they realise it and they put th#blame on others instead#because that’s exactly what i did#and looking back i was a really shitty person to these people and am so sorry 😭#long notes rant but please someone tell me they know what i mean by this 😭#irls got me worked up 😭#alèssi says things#pleeeeease someone understand and know i’m not just jumping on depressed people 😭🥲🥲#(editing to add by being really shitty to these people i don’t mean the insecure ones i mean my friends when i was like this)
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Tw ed/
#its been a preddy rough week overall i think but whats reqlly kinda concerning me is my comolete inability to eat atm#like i know i gotta and i have been trying to force mysekf but i really cant even stomach the thought of eating#this is my second day of this week w no proepr food entering me ig and its pissing me off#bc i want to eat like i know im hungry#but every time i try i just want to vomit lol#managed to get a big iced coffee n a small bubble tea down today but i want to eat real food :^(#im gonna buy myself sushi tomorrow so i can hopefully eat#its like trying to feed a child fml#and at this point im like kinda morbidly curious how long i can go without eating a proper meal before fainting or something#havent fainted in a while idk#im tired and everything feels tingly and my head hurts :^( i hope i eat tomorrow#silly hrs only#im feeling the need to justify posting here bc it feels like seeking pity or soemthing but i just dont really have anyone to say this to#like id feel bad ig#and theyd get mad ofc bc im being silly#but also its been busy and im really emotionally and physically soent this week so like taking care of mysekf is hard#ao im trying to cut myself some slack but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#been a whike since i used tumblr as my diary anyway so im treating myself ig#nice to get the thoughts out n whatever#anyways goodnight#gommywords
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#mmmm sometimes i understand why my mom was suicidal after 26 years with this asshole i would be too#just out of fucking nowhere tonight he's ranting at me about every fucking thing under the sun in any way that could make me feel bad#oh youre on your period? you were actively fighting off a seizure bc you were worried about your brother who never had tremors and was#seizing all day? well i had to watch him!#lazy bitch you didnt cook or feed me 🤬 sir you had cereal bc thats what you asked for#and no i didnt cook fuck off#oh we dont have a new fridge or mattress? thats because when i tried to get you out to go you said nah another day#fuck right off he's fully looking for reasons to fight and be mean to me#i might cry alone in my room but all he'll achieve is putting himself in the hospital with his anger#im glad my mom is free from this#wish i could be but i dont want to have to fucking die to not have to deal with this#i just want a dad who can act like an adult#not throw a tantrum and abuse me after an already stressful day#so what if i had fun going to a kbbq restauraunt after my doctor's appt without him. i was with cousins.#cant do shit withiut him pitching a fit#hes also salty bc i wont let him go to my doctor's appointments with me#im 23 almost 24 and literally paid to be your caregiver what fuckjng makes you think i want you there#if i wanted moral support i wouldnt have been going to doctors alone since it was legal#caught myself thinking uh. about wanting to be dead while he ranted at me for 20mins#this all started bc i havent boight the dogs flea meds yet. its not even time to give it to them. but i walked past him to piss and said#stop bringing it up dont bitch at me day after day after day about stupid small shit im gonna get done anyway#and he took that as a challenge
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#tw animal death#one of my rats is sick and im not doing well about it#i think he has an upper respiratory infection and its bad#i made a vet appointment but if im being honest i dont think hes gonna make it that long#and thres no emergency vet for exotics near me#his breathing sounds painful and its so hard to listen to#and hes not eating or drinking. ive tried hand feeding and watering him. he just wont accept it#today i picked him up. and normally he fights being picked up. but today he just let it happen#he let me cuddle him for half an hour. normally when hes out of his cage he doesnt stop moving#he only sits in his hammock. and it's so hard to see him pass like this#im trying to give him the best time that i can. ive been trying to feed him his favorite snack (goldfish crackers) and let him out often#i love him so much and ive only had him for six months and thats just not enough#i got him from a friend and im dreading having to tell her that he died#hes my little baby. when i picked him up today i gave him kisses and just kept saying 'i love you. youre my baby' over and over#watching him die is killing me. ive cried every day since he got sick. even broke down at work because#i didnt want to be away from him that long. every day i come back from work or wake up and im afraid hes gone#its 5am and i dont want to sleep because checking on him every morning is terrifying#i love him so much and dont want to live without him (or my other little babies) but i can feel the day coming#i just hope he had a good few months with me and knows how much i love him#edit: i can hear all his breathing but then all of a sudden i cant hear him anymore. and its happened a couple of times#I'm scared that tonight's the night. and i want to hold him for the last little bit. but he doesnt like to be held#he likes his hammock. so if hes passing then i want him to be comfy. i just dont want to lose him#i keep checking on him every time i cant hear his breathing. im afraid hes gone. this is so fucking hard#its past 6am but i cant stand the thought of not being there if something happens. i just love him so much
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