#its an ASK too im gonna scream
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Loose GPT wip I Will Actually Probably Finish at some point
#ignore that its like. 6 fucking pixels#its part of a larger sheet i was doodling ideas on#and my computer likes to bang out Tbe Crunchiest Of Screenshots sometimes#shirt that says ask me ab WAIT I COMPLETELY FUCKING FORGOT ABOUT MY AU POST AAKDJTKRL#OH MY FUCKINH GOD ITS BEEN IN MY DRAFTS SINCE JULY#OKAY ALRIGHT UH. IM FINISHING THAT THIS WEEKEND IT IS FUCKIN 3AM#cannot stress how much that is Not A Bit#was gonna say Ask Me About My Moon War Sads and then remembered#its an ASK too im gonna scream#Whoops. oopsie daisey.#my art#the-aurora-strikes-again#the mechanisms#the mechanisms fanart#gpt vs tmk#cw blood#cw eye contact#yk i actually kinda like how terrible awful the quality is. its sorta. blair witch-ey yk?#gunpowder tim#get you a man who will become a battlefield cryptid after your untimely demise <33
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Ok FINE maybe I'll listen to Epic the Musical
#jane journals#self insert talk#sortaaa im gonna do some screaming in da tags. but first#star wars#the phantom menace#attack of the clones#anakin skywalker#shmi skywalker#🔥 general hothead 🔥#UROGGGHH THROWING UP AND CRYING AND ASKING WHERE MY PHONE IS 😭😭😭#ITS SAD ENOUGH WHEN I THINK ABOUT ANAKIN FOR TOO LONG#but when i think about his MOM#the only person. only FRIEND he had for the first 8 years of his life#and being unable to save her was just the first of a domino effect of wanting to hold on to the people he loves#a cycle that drove him to the dark side#i dont think it was a bad kind of selfishness but it WAS selfish#and exacerbated by the jedi and EXPLOITED by palpatine UGGHH#i think if brea had been there it might have been a little easier on him#but...yeah. have fun with this
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Finally knitted Halloween socks that I've been meaning to knit since I bought this yarn last year!
The yarn is from "SavannahRoseHandmade" from the 90s Halloween Collection (sold out now UGH [understandable, but UGH]) and is visually inspired by the movie Scream (1996). I saw the colour pooling effect on their sample swatch when they shared the yarn collection images on Reddit last year, and was immediately like, 'Holy shit it's just like CRT TV static!!' And I had to get it. (And then life happened and I didn't get around to knitting them until now lol).
And unfortunately, I'm SO IN LOVE WITH IT!! THE EFFECT DID TRANSLATE TO SOCKS AND NOW IT'S LIKE, AHHH I NEED MORE. I don't know if I have enough yarn left to make an additional pair, so I'll have to figure out how to weigh it and the socks and see if the weight compares (really don't wanna end up with 3 socks and not enough for the 4th lol). But yeah. I'm so glad I got to do this. The yarn colouration was SO fun to work with, and the yarn was a nice and smooth 1-ply which was a huge relief from the fluffy yarn on the socks I'd been working on just before this. And yes, I did intentionally take this photo in front of those books because of the spiral-ish pooling.
Can I just also... like... holy fuck, man. I LOVE when yarn pools into unique patterns. It's the best phenomenon ever. And especially like for this one being black and white? That subtle grey transition from stark white to pitch black is EVERYTHING. Like I never would have thought one could create yarn that would pool EXACTLY like TV static rolling down the screen when knit. Major nostalgia vibes. I can feel the forcefield.
Also, started these babies September 27 and finished the second sock today October 3rd, which may be a new record for me knitting socks, I was so fucking excited. I even have a big ole 'writers bump' on my finger from the way I hold my knitting needles lmao (was also knitting a different pair of socks before this, too), and my arthritis is Not happy, but screw you, arthritis! I'M HAPPY.
Side note: it would be cool to pair this yarn with like a red addition somehow. Get a Saw vibe going bc of the TV static pooling effect. (I do love Scream though.) Or you could even probably take it a The Ring route with like a fly applique or something. So many horror movie staples with TV static effect, and not enough Scream yarn to test them out!!
Bonus image when the socks were a WIP:
I had my new tooth and doll eye stitch markers going. I DO have bloody murder weapon stitch markers, but none of them are a buck knife (Ghostface's weapon), so I went for general Halloween vibes instead (even tho I use stitch markers like this year-round lol).
#seriously tho im gonna have to weigh the leftovers bc i want more of these socks#just feeling by hand it MAY be enough. but if i knit 1.5 more socks and run out im gonna fucking eat them in rage lol#would hate to have to frog 1.5 socks#halloween#horror#scream 1996#90s#savannahrosehandmade#knitting#nostalgia#horror movies#vhs aesthetic#merino wool#yarn#90s horror#90s kid#fashion#Cori.exe#Image.exe#Create.exe#tbh like i can PROBABLY ask the yarn dyer for a custom order of more of this but i dont have the money to buy it in bulk#so. if i had the money to spend id at least ask but i dont wanna waste their time when id only want like 1 or 2 more#would be awesome if i could afford a whole sweaters worth of yarn in this but i dont think it would pool the same on a sweater#i mean maybe it would idk ive never actually knit a whole sweater before idk how long the colour changes need to be#i forgot to take pics of the yarn when it was a hank still lol but the dyer has pics on their site still#ill try n post my socks elsewhere later bc this is seriously so cool like im so glad they turned out#i was iffy as i was knitting the cuffs like 'oh no its gonna spiral too close together and just look heathered'#but once i started doing the heel i was like 'oh thank god its doing the pooling now' lol. side note: watched uzumaki today as i finished#...and also i saw the tv glow since that was also a fitting topic for knitting socks like this
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Day 223 | id in alt
Maki thinking some very unsorcererly things over a piece of damn cheesecake.
(Read from right to left💥)
#dailykugisaki#jjk#kugisaki nobara#itadori yuji#zenin maki#inumaki toge#its always the cheesecake tbh#cheese cake isn't bad i think it depends on the type for me tbh sometimes it takes too....cakey....???#fuck i dont even know#ive had some very good cheesecake in my life and man im trying to rob a relative of her recipe#anyway. Maki had a strict diet because of the clan but because Kugisaki showed up and found out her love of junkfood....#it all came crashing down VERY quickly#Kugisaki indulges Maki and vice versa. its kinda funny how they're both violent enablers of eachother#Not pointing fingers but if you're gonna be vauge in the comments then get out or post up in the asks#tell me what ails you#for the other people#these two are fucking deranged idk what their issue is but im sure ill figure it out sometime#im getting there nobamaki enjoyers im getting there TRUST TRUST#time to get hysterically distracted while i write the description of the images#suddenly everything turns into cocomelon#i fucked up the placement but yknow my ass#Kugisaki and Maki are just too silly they're trying to exist but they're so fucked up#my silliest silly#Maki has only the faintest idea of fucked up connections and nobody talks about how shes absolutely abysmal at it#my brain is envisioning Kugisaki with a brick and that's it rn#Beyonce songs are playing#am i hallucinating#the fucked up spoon....lordt#thought about those wack bitches with those wide ass necks and cried#i hope you all imagine everytime i type shit in the tags that its of those stressed ass evangelion screams
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they were out of line for this. by the way.
#snap chats#LIIIIIIIIKKKKKEEEE STOP YOU BETTER STOP#reminded myself to make this post after that other ask..... heh...#i feel like i did call attention to this before. 🧍♂️ idk i think about it a lot..#too late lamers im doing it again because it still makes me scream and want to eat metal#this family is disgustingly intertwined with each other im going to throw up#like the more obvious parallel with ichi and the arakawas is him going out for new years dinner with arakawa. or attempting to#buuuuuttt this one is almost shot-for-shot the same bit and its OUGH. STOP. im GOING insane#theyre fam whether they like it or not </3#wahh...... lad8 come soon i wanna see these two's relationship progress. or whatever weird situation it'll be in#i wonder why jo even points ichi to akane... is it to REALLY close that chapter of their lives for good ?#is it some feeling of responsibility for what happens to ichi now that arakawa's gone ?#is it guilt for keeping ichi from the truth of his birth parents for this long ? wowzers...#ok bye im gonna go be sick elsewhere
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hour 14 of taking a break from art for the sake of my tendons: i am Wailing and Keening and Scratching Forlornly At My Tablet
#i dont know if im strong enough but i Need to be strong enough#cant continue doodling if ya wrist doesnt work#clenching my fists and chanting 'this is necessary this is necessary'#ive been going way too hard lately. unfortunately#curse this mortal body and its stupid bullshit mechanics that dont even work half the time#gonna cope by eating overly spicy soup and crochet#well no. i cant crochet. ten minutes of that hurts worse than scribbling for eight gay hours#to put it quite simply - but with feeling: FUCK!#absolutely unprompted#howling and sobbing and baying etc etc#i was gonna finish that commission tonight. then i was gonna start on something else i promised Days ago.#maybe get some doodles done for asks.#work on vines part 2.#but it oof ouch too much :/#what the hell am i supposed to do now#fold laundry? clean my room? read? WRITE? ha dont make me laugh#i havent written in 2 months and im not about to start now#(said immediately before screaming into a pillow)#maybe ill like... go through my replies for once... see if people are trying to talk to me...#see if im brave enough to Directly Interact outside of asks...
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"on a lady whump kick"? nice dogwhistle for the fact that you WANT TO KICK WOMEN. in REAL LIFE. you MONSTER. (I'msosorryIhopeyou'rehavinganicedayandtumblrisntpullinganyshit)
ANON THE WAY MY STOMACH DROPPED. PLEASE. DO U WANT ME TO DIE OF A HEART ATTACK. AJHFKDJSHFSJKDH STOP
#I GOT SO FUCKING ANXIOUS WHEN I SAW THE WORD DOGWHISTLE#VERY FUNNY ASK BUT STARTED OUT WAY TOO REALISTIC BASED ON THE HATE I GET SOMETIMES IM SCREAMING#FUCKING HELL#i am having a nice day thank u#ive written like 3k words for homewrecker#im halfway thru the 5th chapter#its gonna have 6 i think#at most 7#asks
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i just watched charlie's first qsmp vod and y'all weren't kidding that census thing is fucking terrifying
#qsmp#mcyt#crazwaz posted#like the whole scene where it appears just. wow.#idk what pronouns ppl have been using to refer to it im just gonna use it/its idk if thats the correct set ive just seen the one vod#idk how much sway i have given ive only seen the one perspective but god if you havent seen that any of the ppl there's povs its real good#its about 2 hours 35 minutes into his vod#just. wil charlie and quackity vibing and then jaiden running in yelling that theres 'a woman in the walls'#them all going to investigate and not hearing anything at first. talking over each other.#then charlie hears it too. and in the background you can see it slowly crouching and walking in but they dont see it#until quackity screams and then they all see it and theyre all screaming and they all realize theyve been cornered in#and they try to escape and block it in but then they realize its in creative mode and theyre freaking the fuck out#then they calm down when they realize its just trying to ask them questions#and while theyre typing in their books A CREEPER FUCKING EXPLODES BEHIND THEM#and as theyre freaking out and realizing theres like. 10 mobs behind them- including more creepers-#the census is cheerfully repeating 'yes! yes! yes!' and jumping up and down excitedly#like literally big fan of horror stuff here and that scene felt like it fit right in#very effective. loved it. like the bits with the duck being like 'you broke the one rule so you can never leave' felt very creepypasta#but the census guy felt like an actual horror short film or something. not to diss the duck or creepypasta yknow its just different flavors#the way it comes out of nowhere too is very effective. like charlie is doing his el backflippo bit when jaiden comes in#not even fully out of nowhere too! like the campier bits with the duck gives it precedence!#also yeah gay sex island charlie has already slept eith two guys and has flirted with many more#'are you.... cómo se dice en inglés.... circumcised?'#so funny tho thinking like. my number one favorite part of the vod is that scary census scene#number two is charlie singing about argentina#number three is charlie in the caves with roier mariana and fit and theyre talking about circumcision#10/10 love it. i was right tho it is fucking with my brain because im trying to learn japanese and my brain is now combining spanish with#japanese because my brain has sorted those two languages into one pile thats just 'a language i have very basic knowledge of'#so now every time i try to start a sentence in one of those languages the other one tries to creep in#i had that problem when i first started learning japanese and now it returns hasdfkjhasdkjfh
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i’m so normal about aiku haha
#suki rambles#rereading bllk for the third time and i’m still screaming over everything but now is the only time i reread it where my loyalties swayed#i was always a sae girly like... he just hits diff and he’s the prettiest UGH (chigiri is the prettiest but shhh)#BUT AIKU HELLO?!?! HE’S SO FINE AND WHAT FOR#and are we not gonna talk about that panel where he effortlessly tackled shidou and pinned him face down... yeah... THAT panel#ong that was such an iconic intro of him and he looks so scruffy and scrumpty and i wANT TO LICK HIM whoa what?#HIS BICEPS TOO OMG but mostly his face. i want to kiss him so bad 😭 i want to give him gifts and sniff him he smells expensive or like#leather i just know it#he also looks like someone’s baby daddy... it’s me i’m someone#when he said nothing gets past him and he’d be like the cop in the field ooh yeah OFFICER ARREST ME CUFF ME#he’s like soccer aizawa and my eye twitches every time i see him bcos i love aizawa too UGHHH AIKU OLIVER THE MAN YOU ARE#he’s so emotionally unavailable n that’s exactly my type. he’d leave me on delivered for hours and reply only after midnight then say#‘sorry baby haha was just busy’ he’d be so cold and nonchalant thru text but so cocky and smooth in person 😞 oh i’m in pain#he’s gonna break my heart and i’d let him! also the type of guy who doesn’t bring flowers in a date but would buy you one if u asked#then says its not that big of a deal when you go heart eyes at him... only ever wants casual shit n then avoids u when you start falling 😔#also his thighs too. damn. DAMN. looking respectfully sir i am in love with you please take all that i have 🙏🏻#karasu is my new crush too HES JUST SOOOOOO okay i love them IM SCREAMING#gnawing at the iron bars of my enclosure when my dark haired red flag soccer men come on screen#idk should i open requests for bllk i wanna write them for funsies 😞
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this tiny mortified storyboard solas is my favorite one i've ever drawn
#how the FUCK am i going to translate this to my regular style#i don't know what this even looks like on a real face#Fucking Mortified#personal log#this comic is gonna suck because i literally cannot write solas but its funny and i need to see him embarrass himself so bad#“ohhh yeah i am so fucking efficient i am going to impress lavellan so hard rn this guy is going to be all better in 0.5 seconds im so sexy#*heals like marcille dunmeshi in front of healer lavellan*#*man experiences the worst pain in his entire life* *sound of wet bones popping* *guttural primal screaming*#“hm. i think i should go now.”#and he only ever healed unconscious people again lmao#he leaves big ole fuckin scars too. he's shit at healing#actually i take it back it's 'oh. no. he asked me to help. this is literally a no win situation for me'#instead of 'hehe im so sexy'#because he knows that the guy he's trying to impress is mr. 'huh. that kinda tingles.' specialized healer#who has only ever seen solas heal unconscious people before#SEE I CAN'T WRITE HIM FOR SHIT#no. no i was right. he's both. version 1 is revved up youngblood solas#then he fucked around and found out that people generally don't like severe pain sounds#dammit i'm an artist not a writer jim#ranting to myself in my own tags. if you're reading this: hi! it feels good to be known
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#(( ooc. ))#venting tw#negativity tw#i know ive been bitching about this a lot lately but just let a girl vent pls#husband just got home and said 'you look tired you should go lie down '#and i told him i cant. i have too much housework to do. 'well lay down after that '#cant. because then i have more housework after that.#and he got all huffy at me like i was being dramatic#and he said 'how am i supposed to snuggle up with you if you arent laying down? c#and i shot back ' who's going to do the housework if i dont '#and he rolled his eyes. straight up rolled his eyes.#this is the man that is constantly telling me to just ask him for more help. just make a list#yelled at me and stormed out of the house whej i told him to pls just use his eyes#bc i dont have time to make him a list of chores#and also the man who if i do ask him to do smth it doesnt get done#examples just from today. he was heading into town and i asked him to please bring the recycling with him. he didnt.#he yells at me for doing the cat litter bc its bad for my asthma. but then leaves it until its bad enough i have to do it#bc its unfair to the cats to expect them to use a litter box that bad. and then he gets mad at me for not just asking him to do it#like. its in the bathroom. right next to the toilet. he has to look at it when hes taking a shit every day. and youre telling me#he doesnt notice it? i have to remind him???#and then i get yelled at and reprimanded for just doing it myself#' ASK FOR HELP DAMMIT! '#i do. i do all the fucking time. i ask you to empty the garbage bc bending over makes my back scream. but you dont#and i have to power through and do it.#i ask you to bring the recycling into town to drop off. and as soon as you leave i find out you didnt even gather it up.#i ask you to please clear out the bathtub drain. for two weeks. and you brush it off until the day i decide to#do it myself and you get so passive aggressive about it and ' no ILL DO IT. the tool is back in my mom's room#guess I'll just go WAKE HER UP FROM HER NAP so i can grab it since you need it done! '#im so tired of asking and then just being disappointed anyway.#if im gonna get yelled at anyway id rather just do it all myself so at least its done. and not sit there and beg for help and do it anyway
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Man. at this point I'm just gonna fuck off the internet entirely.
#if ya'll wanna find me scream real loud outside and maybe i'll hear you.#sorry im upset at how dog shit every website is n how nothing is similar to how this shit site is#i made a pillowfort n its broken my icon for it- n idk how to fix it n at this point idc rly.#i have a cohost but no idea how to find people or do shit on there either#also have a bluesky but it also is just like twitter n no idea how to use it#im just gonna dig a hole outside n hide in there instead maybe.#if anyone wants to keep Up with me legitimately ask for my discord i guess.#i have a mutuals server too but i am always anxious to invite people.
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Birthday keroppi time B)
#screams#my birthday is next Friday holy shit I'm gonna be 25#can't believe its that time of year again#and not me blanking about what I want to get and do for my birthday#wtf could I ask for that I can't get or go do myself#anything I would want is out of the question because of expense (like a new pc. I still haven't gotten one)#I guess I could ask for pokemon legends arceus. I've been meaning to buy it but haven't been able to justify spending $60#on a game I might take my seeet ass time playing thru cause I hate using my switch lite (the screen is so fucking small its annoying)#but its an idea at least#as for what I want to do? man idk#we'll probably go to olive garden like most years which Im cool with#although nowadays my datemate and I go there often for dates (we were just there yesterday for instance)#but I love olive garden so I won't say no to going#maybe to that historical township thats a half hour drive away?#datemate and I were supposed to go today as part of my vacation#but he talked me out of it (like he does with most big trip plans I make 😒)#the reason he did so it because its hot as balls today and sunny with a hogh uv index#we'd be outside for most of the trip and her reckons being in the heat will make him miserable and a killjoy#because he's heat sensitive. I am too so I can't really argue with him on that#so maybe it'll be cooler on the 15th so we can go#if not I don't really mind waiting til October because that township is better in the fall#but anyways those are the ideas I have rn#I'll probably ask for a pokemon plushie as a gift#I'd kill to get a new stufful plushie but those are rare and expensive thanks to scalpers#I'd be down to get another Vaporeon like my datemate bought me last year. or another of my favorites#Im not gonna be too picky this year even tho its a big birthday (my brain is fully developed)#because a lot of my birthdays turn out to be shit. last year was really nice tho#but I don't want to get my hopes up for anything and then be depressed that day like what often happens#so I will just be grateful to get some good tasting cake. that's literally the bare minimum of what I want without question#sam's rants about life
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Arakawa family brain rot: I just had the saddest thought about Masato returning from America, but from Masumi's perspective. He's prolly excited to see his son again despite the relationship tension. He's heard Masato has been doing great. His attitude has improved with his health. Maybe things will get better if he tries hard enough.
Maybe there's a chance to fix things.
And there isn't. Masato's just as vindictive and mean and manipulative as he ever was. And Arakawa finally has to mourn the son he never had. The son he told the world had died.
Do you think he ever regretted letting Masato get away with murder? Regretted that it wasn't Ichiban he still had in his life? I have a hard time with this because he loves Masato so much. I just wish he'd had the son who loved him out in the world with him y'know.
But we all know Masato ain't built for prison.
And I can't imagine like... Seeing Jo. Being relieved to see him again but immediately losing confidence because Jo looks so much more *tired* than he did. Ever together and composed but not really His Jo anymore. Not in the same way. It is never the same after he was gone so long.
I'm sure there are moments or even days where they fall into old patterns but I can't help but feel like (if Jo did in fact go to America w Masato) that that would be a defining shift in the relationship between Jo and Masumi.
Idk what this is really about but I got in my Arakawa feelings (I think be instared too long at the picture you posted). 🫰 Thanks for listening to me ramble byyyye~
EVERY DAY of my life i think of arakawa wondering if what they did regarding masato was 'the right choice'- like OF COURSE it was masato literally wouldnt have made it yet if it was the right choice why does it feel like such the wrong choice yeah...
#snap chats#im gonna throw up saying this but like i vaaaaaggguely tickled that topic in the recent fic i posted#not too much but. definitely alluded to the fact ive thought about it.. and have thought bout arakawa thinkin about it..#god Thrwing Up tho because the beginning f the ask is reminding me of a fic i wrote where masato and jo come back#it doesnt focus on masato for too long but it does follow the vibe of 'arakawa wants to reconnect with masato but Nothings Changed'#so funny that this Forbidden Fic also just follows arakawa reonnecting with sawashiro.. it at least had a happier endin tho oops..#i think initially seeing sawashiro again could be good for arakawa.. things would prob be fine..#but with masato- or aoki- back in japan and him Doing His Thing he's definitely going to call for sawashiro more#meaning sawashiro and arakawa are going to be around each other less and less#yk its what arakawa wants tho- for aoki to be given top priority cause thats his son innit#but of course that also means sawashiro doesnt have much time to hang around..#i realy want them to have a fight about aoki Custody Battle Momence Right but i cant imagine either of them yelling at each other#i cant even really imagine arakawa raising his voice either... at most he just talks very sternly when he's mad i think#GOD it feels weird typnig all this again cause i have typed all this type of thinking in fics lately jAJLKEJVLEKJVW#POINT IS big agree. have thoought extensively regarding these situations#and that reminds me i shoudl... finish taht other fic i started... that i shared with you...#they can have a . nice moment i t hink :) //screams//
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my ed makes me so selfish but i literally dp not care anymore
#catch me eating salad instead of cake in family photos on facebook#when its my bday i won’t let anyone get a cake#i will literally cry and scream if i havw to#i know its rly selfish and that everyones js tryna do nice stuff for me#but i dont care i dont want it#i feel bad for my dad tho he still tries to make me eat#his sister has an ed and he doesnt realize#she never ate stuff until she got sick when ahe was young#i didnt eat cake on my dads bday#ik it seems like im making a big deal over cake but like thats the ONLY thing my family does#but idc#i’ll have watermelon or smth#also i need to recruit my aunt im gonna straight up ask whether ot not she has an ed#like girl i see ur myfitnesspal and my net diary apps#i heard her talking to my mom abt dieting too#its kinda sad lowkey#SHES ALWAYS COMMENTING ON MY WEIGHTLOSS TOO#she asked my mom how much i lost and i had to interven QUICKKK#im gonna ask her if i ever get alone w her#i know she likes me she laughs at everything i say and hugs me a lot#OMFGGGGG SHE I RMB SHE ASKED ME FOR TIPS#AND SAW MY LOOK AT A CALORIE LABEL OF PEPSI AND PUT IT DOWN#AND THEN. AND THEN SHE SMILED AT ME AND NODDED#not in an approving way or like a good job way#she gets me frrr#we bond over converse too aaaa#imma ask her
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Okay so i havent completely come to terms with it yet but WE WON THE HP CODEWARS (a coding competition in teams) AND WERE ACTUALLY GOING TO HOUSTON TO COMPETE IN NEXT YEAR'S COMPETITION WHAT
#what what what#what the fuck#(only adding the pic of me alone bc im too lazy to ask my friends for permission lol)#no but really what#like we knew we had options to make podium but no way we were going to win#we didnt even rlly believe we would actually make podium before starting bc there were some rlly good teams#(we kinda know everyone good so that was easy to spot)#and then after the competition we were like huh we did pretty badly we think#then we thought again and compared with last year and we said huh maybe not suuuuper bad but not rlly good either#(last year it was online and you could have a computer per person but this year it was only one so it was rlly different)#amd then we talked with the ppl that we knew and we were like huh were the best so far#then they talked to like everyone good bc they literally know everyone and they were like congraats youre 99% sure winning#and we were like naaaaah impossible you probably missed someone or smth theres no way#like we were pretty sure we were gonna be making podium by then but we somehow didnt even fully believe it#and then at the awards ceremony they gave the first girl team prize to someone else with less points and we were like aaaaa we made podium#and then they announced the third position we literally screamed bc since we knew ppls points we knew it meant we were first#i almost cried istg#like being 2nd or 3rd or 4th or first girl is like yeah im good but im not the best but like being THE best? being first is scary#it feels fake and confusing but also im so happy and i dont know how to express it aaaaaa its so weird#and the fact that were going to HOUSTON next year? what the actual fuuuck feels impossible#like were going to go there? a prize that is only for the first group? rlly? just like that?? whaaaat#also now hp has our data (we obv gave it to them) and they will likely be happy to accept us to work and/or get internships there so yayyy#but im still not over any of this it rlly feels fake like what the fuck one of the important hp research facilities asked for MY email??#what the fuuuuuuuck#also unrelated but they just had a paper mache how to train your dragon dragon just there in the corner of a football field like whaat#(a dragon that was bigger than us not some cute little figure eeh)#mine#life#codewars
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