#but anyways those are the ideas I have rn
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As everyone knows, I bounce between fics based on my creative inspiration and rn I’m writing a Rook x Reader fanfic.
Now, this one is interesting. I don’t think I’ve ever seen this concept before…
The closest thing I’ve read is probably @solxamber’s Ruler of My Heart. It’s one of my favorite Rook x Reader fanfic of all time. She peels back the layers to Rook’s character, portraying something more honest and vulnerable. It’s fantastic. If you haven’t read it, do it now.
I read that fanfic and thought I could never even touch that level of artistry. However, I feel like I’ve come up with a solid base for something good.
I haven’t seen a lot of full fanfics where Rook feels threatened. I’ve seen some drabbles where he’s felt scared and is able to deal with the threat swiftly. However, those tend to be about MC being threatened. Even in the canon story, Rook is more concerned with the safety of others rather than himself. It makes sense considering his fantastic skills.
Therefore, the man tends to be unflappable. Even if he does feel unnerved, he covers it up expertly. He can manually adjust his heart rate and breathing. However, some people can see past the facade, like Trey. Look at the Halloween event for instance.
Rook has a weakness though. He’s a private person. He doesn’t like people knowing about his past too much. Other than what he portrays to the world, which is his more of his upbeat and over the top self, he doesn’t want people to know about him. That’s his weakness.
My fanfic idea is an observant reader. Someone that makes Rook feel uncomfortable and borderline threatened because they just guessed almost everything about him upon their first meeting. That is objectively terrifying. There’s someone who matches his level of observation. Unlike Trey, who’s low key about it, MC doesn’t know that, especially at first. They almost give away too much information. Rook deals with the situation but they both know what he’s done to intervene.
So, I plan to have the main inner conflict be Rook hesitating to trust the Reader. The external conflict will obviously be Vil. Once again, I have a strange obsession with Chapter 5. I think it’s because it’s the perfect set up. There’s so many different possible conflicts and resolutions. I also don’t have to think much in terms of coming up with my own situation and set up. It’s built in there. Work smarter not harder lol
Anyway, that’s my idea for now. Let me know your thoughts. Always love interacting with people about my works and ideas
I also have thoughts regarding Rook general behavior that might be interesting. However, I’m tired, so that’ll probably be a separate post. Let me know if you’re interested.
Tagging @es-sharezone because u love Rook lol
#twisted wonderland#twst#twst x reader#pomefiore#rook hunt#twst rook#fanfic idea#upcoming fanfic#rook x reader#rook hunt x reader#vil schoenheit#twst vil schoenheit#twst vil
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Could you give us more about trans Time? (If that’s okay!)
Love that hc btw, it makes me really happy ^^
hell yes i can!! I love trans Time, trans that man's gender. oot link is like the vibes of transgenderism compressed into one single silly little guy (gender neutral). however people trans oot link's gender is always correct in my mind (i personally hc him to be ftm but i really do love seeing any version of him that's not cis)
im gonna apologize rn for any typos or oddly autocorrected words im dyslexic and my laptop works against me sometimes lmao
anyways not sure what exactly you wanted to know (and feel free to ask more questions!!) but i think this was in reference to my modern au post so!!:
Time was born in the late 70s (since the au takes place in present day and he is a good 25 years older than Twi), so growing up he didn't really see a whole lot of trans people who could've helped him realize he was trans sooner, especially because his childhood was mostly him having an awful time with his physical health and arguing with his father for the chance to go to public school and not be homeschooled like his siblings (he is the youngest of 6) because he didn't get along with all of them and wanted to meet new people
Looking back on it NOW he can recognize he realized he was trans when he was like, 12, but at the time he didn't really know what that was and just cut his hair short and didn't understand why he got so happy when people mistakenly called him a boy
There was a period of time where he was confused and thought he was a lesbian (he is bisexual) and he dated Ruto for like a year in high school but they kinda ended up becoming friends instead (they're STILL friends), and then he dated Sheik, who is a trans man, and the realization hit him like a bus
He graduated high school and then just kinda dipped off the map, he didn't realy have friends (besides Ruto, and MALON considered them friends but he didn't realize she liked him that much) so he didn't really keep in contact with people except for Sheik (he was also doing pretty bad physically at this point in time), but he started socially transitioning around 18 and was able to start medically transitioning around 20. Not all his siblings were super accepting, and he's completely cut contact with one of them, but his sister closest to him in age who was his best friend growing up was his biggest supporter
(this modern au takes place in a modernized Hyrule kingdom loosely based on where I live because obviously where I live is the best idea I have of how modern sociey works since I'm living in it, lmao, but Hyrule kingdom was a little more progressive in the late 90s and while gender affirming care wasn't SUPER easy to access, it WAS accessable. the main issue for Time was transphobia from his oldest brother and the people from his INCREDIBLY tightknit town, because outside of that people didn't know he was trans)
Malon was fully aware he was trans because she met him before HE realized that, so when those two got together he didn't have to worry about telling her or anything. And they WERE going to adopt kids at some point, but then Time's sister died and her husband had passed away too and she'd written in her will that she'd wanted Time to take care of her baby (Twi), because she wanted him to have a wonderful environment growing up and she trusted Time more than their other siblings even though they'd all already settled down and had their own kids and were experienced parents (also to be fair, she didn't expect to die and leave her 13 month old an orphan. it was just an IN the event of her death kinda thing, she very much would've rather been able to raise her kid herself)
Time doesn't really give two fucks about passing, not anymore, he wears what he wants, but most people DO assume he's a cis man because he's decently tall and has a deeper, monotoned voice. Transphobia does still exist in Hyrule Kingdom, though it's not as bad as it was when Time was a kid, and also the city where the boys' apartment in is incredibly LGBTQ+ friendly (not that that means homophobia and transphobia don't exist, it's just a much safer area to be out that other places in the kingdom) so he doesn't ever feel like he has to HIDE being trans. He goes to pride parades sometimes (when he knows he won't get overwhelmed) and he and Malon are definitely that older couple who give out free supportive parent hugs to people who really need it
Legend in this au is also a trans man, and I wouldn't call Wild cis but he's amab and uses he/him pronouns at the moment while he figures things out (he's also perfectly fine with they/them)
#hitting the blorbos with the transgenderification beam to cope with the current state of america#jes's miscellaneous modern au#lu time#jes ask
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Kenma meets his future self
#hope you guys are ready for the era of sketchy uncolored comics cause im fighting for my life rn#jk i have so many drafts but once i run out of those it's rushed sketch purgatory#too many ideas so little time as is the plight of a fandom artist#the haikyuu train stops for no one WE WILL PREVAIL#winter break can't come soon enough... anyways kenma!#im gonna be him for halloween yippeeee#it's gonna be super scuffed because i didn't want a wig and bought that hair wax shit instead AND i have super dark hair but whatever#if you're one of the real ones who reads my tags what are your halloween plans? any other haikyuuers?#kozume kenma#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fanart#hq#hq fanart#my art
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He has!!! ARIVED!!!!!
He's here he's here he's here!!!!!! Safe and sound!!! We sat down and did some coloring together!!!!
And also made sure he met his new neighbors! Had a nice chat with my childhood stuffed animal! Asking all about what his new home is like. And of course, he had to meet Boober Fraggle!
Watched some Winnie the Pooh together! I think he really liked it. I hope he felt warm and welcomed in my home. A nice and cozy first day here!
#welcome home#wally darling#welcome home puppet show#welcome home arg#not art#i mean except for the crayon doodle-#nfndjfkdk#IM FILLED WITH SO MUCH JOY RN!!!!!#Hes HERE!! i keep grabbing his little face with my hand!#hes so sweet. hes so small!#AAAAA I GET TO SPIN HIM FOR REAL!!!!!!!!#PICKING HIM UP AND SPINNING HIM IRL!!!!!#I wanna get a lil voice box for him so bad.#Specifically of him saying “Keep your smile merry and always know that I love you. Very much.”#like you have no idea NO IDEA#i need to find one small enough though!!!!!!#and get help. cause haha i cannot sew#anyways!!!!!!!!!!!!! jdjfjdkkfkfj Celebrated with cartoons and cracked open a box of crayons just for him!#literally#ive been saving those crayons for when he got here. didnt open them till today!!!!#SPECIAL CRAYONS FOR SPECIAL MAN!#also cant not imagine him staring in awe at my rainbow keyboard. hed love that shit#sorry if this is too silly and sappy im just!!!! so happy right now!!!!!
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silly guys finally got another one in
took them a while but they did it! (oh no)
#fanart#sketch#my art#undertale#bnha#isat#gravity falls#honkai impact 3rd#crossover#flowey#shigaraki tomura#tenko shimura#wanderer#isat loop#otto apocalypse#also I forgot#genshin impact#because eh I am tagging it all this time#it's small enough#in stars and time#scaramouche#I actually had the idea for this sketch since last month but it wasn't right in my head back then#like the ultimate ending was to see if Loop and/or Siffrin gets a place there - a place from which characters don't leave in my head#all of those characters are infamous among people who know me - I can talk a lot about them and isat has some characters like that#which is why Loop and Siffrin were on the trial run for some time and now I'm comfortable to say that isat and those guys survived#I'm not in the hyperfix rn so it's the greatest trial if they COULD bring me back and they did it#not tagging this one as spoilers!#bill cipher#I FORGET TAGS OKAY? OKAY anyway gotta go to bed#I may be cringe with those characters set as favorites but you already knew that I have my flaws
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Every time you think, "Oh, I don't have [x condition], I'm basically cured!" that is the devil talking. You aren't cured, you are likely going through periods of your symptoms waning. Don't cease whatever you're doing to help yourself, like medication, for instance, because it's likely you still have the conditions or symptoms, even if you aren't noticing them as frequently or severely.
#disability#this is a callout post about myself#i genuinely thought my GAD was cured because my symtoms had lessened significantly since i've transitioned#turns out my anxiety is just as killer and awful - it's just muted slightly#i am currently laying down with my brain convinced that i'm About To Have a Heart Attack#(and not in the fun demi lovato kind of way)#(that song is a little over a decade old... what the bingle)#anyway please don't do what i do whenever i experience ANY level of symptoms getting better because it will shock you...#...when those symptoms come back and remind you that you Do Indeed have [x condition]#i now know how a wolf girl feels when they say they are Actually Feral because that's how i feel rn 💀#even I'M not immune to the idea that the things i suffer from are things that can Disappear Magically 😭#it's wishful thinking and almost like... imposter syndrome because you're *so* desperate to prove to yourself you're Fine or A Faker#and you become hyperfixated on picking every tiny little waxing and waning of symptoms like you're a fortune teller#and honestly it's really stiffling and it's a lot of work to kill the cop in your head that says you are secretly Not All That Affected...#...that you're either exaggerating to the Extreme or you're just a bored faker who's trying to Get Attention (bad somehow)
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What are good books about explorers, if I may ask? I'd love to get into some harrowing survival (or just trying to survive) stories.
HI ok these are all heroic age antarctica-centric bc that's all i've had rattling around in my brain for a solid year and a half now so if anyone has non-polar recs pls feel free to throw em in the replies lmao
if we're talking harrowing survival there's nothing more fucked than shackleton's trans-imperial expedition aka endurance and the ross sea party. the classic here is endurance by alfred lansing (and ofc south by ol ernie shackles but i feel like his own account is less approachable to a first time reader) but i also highly recommend the lost men by kelly tyler-lewis for the ross sea party half of the story that often falls to the wayside.
and we can't talk abt shackleton without getting into scott & the terra nova & the race for the pole which WILL take over ur life if u get into it lol. the worst journey in the world by apsley cherry-garrard is required reading (and so is cherry by sara wheeler, possibly my fave biography of all time), and for a more general overview a first-rate tragedy by diana preston is the absolute gold standard. for amundsen ask @roaldamundsen there's the last viking by stephen r. brown which i haven't read yet but i've heard v good things about (nb: u may be recommended roland huntford's books when it comes to amundsen. read them if u want but he's got a Thing against scott which in turn distorts how he approaches amundsen but then again every polar biographer wants to make tender romantic love to their special little guy so)
OH and we can't forget the northern party aka six guys in a hole (NOT sexy) (well–). there are banger first-hand accounts (especially raymond priestley's) but weirdly enough my fave when it comes to this part of the terra nova story is a polar affair by lloyd spencer-davis, which is technically abt the sex lives of adélie penguins. it was the first book i read connected to terra nova and although it leans more popular history than rigorous biography or historical analysis it rly primes u to understand the fricative relationship between the expedition's two intertwined objectives – scientific advancement and imperialist glory – that were the root of most of their issues.
outside of endurance & terra nova i'd be remiss not to rec The gateway book to antarctic history, the madhouse at the end of the earth by julian sancton. i should have put this first bc this is genuinely one of my fave books of all time, polar-related or otherwise. it's a comedy it's a tragedy it's an adventure it's an insight into colonial ambition (although imo this aspect could have been pushed further) it's a romance for two specific guys it could easily be a musical it might be adapted into a tv show or movie in the near future?? it's an absolute trip i rec it to anyone who stands still enough to let me shove a copy in their hands. read madhouse NOW
finally i want to give a shout out to the australasian antarctic expedition which in comparison is less insane than everything else here but it's entirely possible the guy who was once on the australian $100 note ate his dog handler. so like. read alone on the ice by david roberts
(ps. for more boat books see @jesslovesboats's banger posts ✌️⛵️)
#replies.txt#maxer-blaster#ok theres more to alone on the ice than possible cannibal douglas mawson but u have to admit its compelling#also!! i havent read either book yet but the two main ones abt the karluk/wrangel island saga (empire of ice & stone and the ice master)#are v v well regarded and have similar vibes to everything else here even tho it's at the other pole#anyway lmk if u want more recs!! these are just the rly popular/well known ones theres sooo much more to antarctic history#like the scottish expedition!! the japanese one!! BANZARE!!!! and whatever the fuck argentina & chile were doing when they sent#those pregnant women to give birth at research stations for sovereignty claims!!!!#actually if ur interested in that aspect there's a textbook edited by peder roberts & alejandra mancilla called colonialism and antarctica#which. as the title suggests. has a whole bunch of essays abt colonialism and antarctica#something that pop history doesnt often focus on and is still impacting how we interact w the continent today#i have a thesis idea percolating in the back of my mind abt official polar narratives & imperialism & modern writing + tourism#but im doing an entirely different masters rn i dont have time for all that. yet
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Tbh I feel like going to the US while the Nazis are in power is suicidal. So of course I don't understand your choice of going instead of your SO coming to Europe. But while I don't understand, I wish and pray for you to be safe. Whatever you choose, I hope you guys will be okay
You might be right. I have no idea what the future has in store or if I'll come to regret it. But I've already stated my reasons. As it stands, with the year-long process we've already started and that we can't just flip on a dime overnight, my partner can't come and stay in Europe legally just like that. Legal immigration is not that easy in one way or the other. Also... Yeah, I've stated that before, but one shouldn't underestimate how shitty things have been getting in Europe for the past few years as well, and how the influence of the US (which is huge) is likely to make things worse. So again I'm not 100% sure whether that'd have been better anyway.
Also also... Ima be real, I've shared that before, but the time where I was separated from my partner due to the travel ban was the only time in my life where I had actual suicidal ideation. I don't want this to happen again. That's why I'm making moves so it doesn't, first and foremost.
#tw sui ideation#tw sui talk#again i can't just pick and choose it's actually a really tough process and not just something i can go willy nilly about#it's a bit of a headache having people telling me otherwise#i'll do what i can and we'll keep doing our best to stay safe but it's not like i can just switch roads overnight#i wish i could but it's never as simple#or maybe it is for people who are already us citizens i have no idea#but i'm not quite sure#either way tbh i'm not sure moving to europe as so many people are throwing in online rn is that great a solution either#europe is the us's playground and geopolitically its bitch#some things definitely are better than in the us but in a world where money rules everything i don't feel it's quite as fool proof#as everyone makes it sound#as someone who was born and raised there respectfully#who's felt that influence for life#and btw as someone who also grew up not speaking english and who had to painstakingly learn#don't think you can just move to a random country you can't speak the language of and that everyone will be as nice about it#as if you were a tourist#language is important#my partner doesn't speak my country's language#so yep there's that#i've already said that several times anyway it's getting tiresome#we COULD have tried for the UK in a timeline where those dumbasses didn't choose to leave the EU#but that ship sailed almost 10 years ago#i wonder if anyone realizes that#sorry for saying that after such a wall of text but thank you for the concern though sincerely
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im back to giving more outfits for my oc yuuna. the latest is how i imagined she'd get dressed up for the new nightmare before christmas event in twst.
i like to imagine with each book she gets a new dorm uniform added to her wardrobe after befriending the housewardens or just as like an achievement for beating overblots. like how you get a new keyblade when you beat a boss in kingdom hearts.
#yuuna#twst oc#twisted wonderland#twst#mine#art#yuusona#twst x oc#also i know i said i was gonna give her the silver in her hair as time goes on and thats why the ignihyde uniform has those bangs#she's TIRED by then#but bc i just remembered it i'd still have to update her other uniform hairstyles to include a bit of silver in each#or maybe not idk im not married to the idea anyway#but i do think the silver is fun but getting it to work with the color schemes of the other uniforms seems like a hassle rn#we'll see
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I did some Papercraft today 'cuz I saw someone else's Papercraft Miku and Teto and immediately wanted my own Negidrill to have on my desk at all times.
Link for Miku template
Link for Teto template
I didn't know a Neru one existed until AFTER I left the library (printed them out there 'cuz my at-home printer sucks) so I think I'll try to make Neru sometime to complete Triple Baka.
Link for Neru template (and many others)
THIS tutorial was super helpful for making Miku but Teto didn't have one. Therefore I messed up her drills a little at first but I'm just glad that she's complete and not a disaster, hahaha. xD
This is my first time making Papercraft characters and it's fun. Unfortunately Miku and Teto's heads easily fall off so there's no way I can do stop motion animation with them or anything or move them around too much, but I enjoyed this. They're cute. ^^
Their arms being outstretched like that was a total accident and how the paper itself wanted to bend, so I took the opportunity to make them touch hands lmao. They probably can't get any closer than that without dying (their heads falling off) though LOL. Idk what else to pose them doing but they'll definitely chill on my desk full-time I think.
Btw Mesmerizer Papercraft definitely exists and I even saw "Who Knows" Teto, and someone also made SV Teto. So if I'm motivated I might print those out and build them too. ^^ (You should try it. It takes like an hour or more per character and after the first time, it's straightforward to do.)
#papercraft#not tagging as my art since it's different from the usual#hatsune miku#kasane teto#not sure if i should tag as negidrill#i still have ideas to draw for them but i'll draw them later#if my mind lets me#very occupied with rl events and very mad at the us govt rn so#papercraft for now#for those who read all my tags this is lowkey the official 'canon' appearance for my Mikuteto AU charas#chimera Teto and android Miku i mean. they're based on the original canon appearances but#i think i'll take one or two traits that i associate with their later/newer versions#in particular i guess pj sk Miku wears white and I really like that color#(for the purpose of contrasting with Teto's black/dark gray)#also i usually see UTAU Teto as shorter than Miku in my head#but for the purposes of my story Teto might be the taller one#someone drew it that way and i really liked it so i'm 'canonizing' it in my head#if u have no idea what i'm talking abt dw. just my own fantasizing. idk how OFFICIAL official i'll make it like writing it in the story#i just personally think chimera genes might make Teto taller lol#aesthetically i like the image a lot so i might go through with it#anyway it makes me happy to have AU Mktt on my desk even if they're lacking the wings#i love and care them#(intentional grammar error)
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sleepovers save money on hotel rooms while on missions 👍
#finn's ocs#finn's art#sorry i was super offline the past few days but i had some time to draw between stuff so. them :)#besides i might as well draw all them hanging out like this after drawing PJ designs. but unlike in those i gave polaris and saiph pants#let them at least be decent while hanging out LOL#i want to draw lots more misc oc stuff now that i have all the refs done#but somehow i have too many ideas and yet none at all at the same time! if you have suggestions lmk 😅#anyway polaris is annoyed at saiph here because he wont stop moving his head even though the braiding was his idea lol#bella passed the fuck out shes one of those ppl who have a very set sleep schedule#wakes up at 6am falls asleep immediately at 9pm#lets all pray she doesnt wake up with something stupid drawn on her face tomorrow#mira is just having fun tho shes reading to everyone every cute :) saiph interrupts with commentary (causing further annoyance from polaris#al is mostly observing like hes just happy to be hanging out. also having al be the most in the shadows because of course#but he likes watching his friends interact. but also hey man his eyes are up there#anyway i tried my best w the colors here so hopefully it looks okay. i wanted something warm but also kinda dark to give off late night vib#i hope tumblr doesnt kill the quality tho! it looks kinda blurry rn but it might be ok when i hit post#if it fits well i might make it my new blog header too? maybee#^_^
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Rattoo ideas 🐭
#still just ideas#like i need to simplify them to work better as tattoos#but woo rodents#those are bmth lyrics#don't you know I'm a seed? i won't stop at the roof#so go ahead bury me#really resonated w me post self discharge from hospital in 2021 and into 2022 as outpatient#re-living a LOT of anger over that again rn#it took me 2 years and ongoing development but I TOLD YOU TO BACK OFF AND LET ME GROW#mfs trying to install new rules and behaviours into the person that being that is nothing but rules and behaviours#bitch I said i wanted to RECOVER not just get reprogrammed don't touch me#anyways vagueposting over look at ratties :3#boat one is in memory of all my rats that have crossed to the other side <3#rats#raty's art#rat
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the sun must've shone bright that day
#phighting#phighting medkit#medkit phighting#sprout art#wanted to do something helllaa experimental for myself. id like to think i did decent but i could do better#havent really done this style in a while its kind of refreshing. if a bit. tough? fun though!#anyway it still lowkey fucks me up that medkit never saw or felt the sun until he escaped blackrock. like. holy fuck#ALSO I HAVE NO IDEA WITH THE WAY I DRAW PHIGHTING CHARACTERS RN... ILL GET THERE THOUGH.#KIND OF PROUD OF THE BACKGROUND THOUGH. DONT DO THOSE ALL THAT OFTEN
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maybe i just need to stop writing so much nonsense and just draw whatever, whether i know what isnt good or what is, if it sucks then so be it
#ganondoodles talks#complicated feelings about everything#the conviction of just drawing whatever you like and if it sucks then so be it VS the mortifying idea of making something shitty and cringe#this isnt a reaction to anything btw this is just me looking at my own posts and going man what an idiot at myself#for both being so scared of my writing being bad but then also writing and posting it anyway#either do it with all your heart or keep it to yourself dumbass!!! *me yelling at myself in my head*#unfortunately i only realize these thing after writing and having it posted for a while#and at those points i dont want to delete it anymore bc it feels like im lying and if theres even a single comment i dont want it gone#i read it all i still dont know how to respond!!! *head in hands*#now then i turn to look at my drawing tablet and realize i need to change something about how i approach drawing bc its not fun rn#i have a special kind of hatred towards lineart but you just cnanot escape it ... lineless paintings take ages-#-and i always fuck them up the further i paint#like there is some disconnect between the foundation and the rendering- im good at rough colors but suck at details#not sure what to do but i will have to SOEMTHING#or i have to bite the bullet and do lineart eugheugheugegg#even when i do sketches for painting the sketch always looks better ... theres a dynamic that gets flattend and lost when i paint it
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Sorryyyy for dropping off the face of the earth; got kinda shy after that last post but mostly I’ve just been writing though I cannot guarantee that any of that will ever be finished (also I’m very insecure about my writing AAAH). Figure I might as well post the valentines I had done (like two months late lol); interestingly this turned into more of a hand lettering exercise than I was expecting lol
#len’en#yabusame houlen#suzumi kuzu#tsubakura enraku#haiji senri#art#digital#there was one more but I’m not confident it’s like. funny? and I have stuff I’d eant to change abt it#and these four have pretty good comedic timing as a set so I’ll just leave well enough alone#also had plans for a Kuroji and uhhh Xeno a but those haven’t panned out#you’ll have to excuse me I’ve been going off the rails and also have not fixed the meds situation (I’m completely out atm)#started like four fics; yes they are all suzutsuba and there is. so much sex (not described/on screen but STILL)#didn’t manage to stay away from Hamal Cine Bad End either jfhshsjfb#too nervous abt talking yo pol rn to leave comments but zaranthropy if you’re reading this I owe you my life#also I think I said I was inspired on something by dissociation constant and then when chapter 2 came out I relized it was something I had#completely misinterpreted but I’m too embarrassed to actually go and check lol……#*talking to ppl sorry I had to turn off my autocorrect cause it was being compeltely unreasonable#OH YEAH also this Haiji design was a little bit inspired by a redesign of them from uhhhhhhh who was it. idk most of their blog is gone but#I’ll go check my likes#anyway I like how they tuned out also that joke came to me several days after valentine’s and gave me the idea for this whole thing#edit: can’t find the post anymore for some reason but I think yhe name was like chiosu or something?#did somebody go delete their blog while I wasn’t looking
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i have such an interesting dichotomy with chris where i'm very evil about him where i want him to die young and unfulfilled in his ultimate goal to produce ~true art~ but also i want him to live that short life feeling loved and comforted and given the affection he was never given as a child.......no i don't think he lives past forty, maybe fiftyish if we're being generous but those years are filled by the people who love him and want what's best for him even if he fights them on that and that's what matters in the end, doesn't it
#fuck typing this out made me almost cry lmao#idk tho there's just something that hurts so good about chris not living very long but having a somewhat fulfilling life regardless#no he never accomplished what he meant to but people cared about him...............he meant something to people.........ARGH#oh my god i might actually cry rn lmao my eyes are Watering#idk something in him has clicked with me as someone who fears they won't live very long#i like exploring those fears with him. and the idea that a short life still means something is comforting#anyway anyway anyway. wahgkjasdfkldsj#the goes wrong show#chris bean#marshy speaks
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