#its also really itchy
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i am in hell (blister)
#jasper speaks#it already burst and bc im normal i peeled all skin off of it#so i have a large circle of raw skin on my heel#and it was like#almost healed#then i realised it hadnt healed properly. i learned this via stretching and feeling the crease of my heel TEAR OPEN#so yeah. not healed.#its also really itchy#but obv i cant scratch it#so#whatever!!!!!!!!
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Hair
#friday night funkin#random thoughts#doodle#pico newgrounds#pico fnf#gay men#darnell#darnell newgrounds#pico x darnell#transgender#i should sleep#you know its bad when every tiny mistake on a drawing makes me want to pull hair out and cry#also im really itchy bc i kept making mistakes and its pissing me off so bad i almost threw my phone#anyways ik this drawing sucks but if i keep fucking it up im actually going to sob
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ok so ahem, the first contact i had with your "dog erik" art was through twitter and lemme say this is peak art ok? perfect
i might be biased because i prefer dogs over cats (allergy issues with cat fur) but it's one of my favs of erik until now
Thank you so much !! I cant say i prefer either or- love em both too much to choose i fear ( ・∇・)
#snap chats#GOOD MORNING EVERYONE im about to drive to school … lmao …..#funny enough im Also really allergic to cats- awkward as hell when i gotta cat sit my sister’s baby lady mona lisa#i love her tho … shes so sweet and cute and lovely and i do get really itchy and teary eyed but its worth
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I'm back in the fucking building again
I always return to fnaf, i guess you could say I always come ba- *is hit by a speeding box of a car*
(transcript or alt text coming later idk which is better)
#qsmp#qsmp final event#this was in the works before the final so really its about#the situation#qsmp neg#qsmp doomposting#i GUESS#fnaf#this was also largely an excuse to draw the fnaf 2 office#art to shit your pants to#comics#fandom#qsmp fandom#also im sad uploading this cause last night i lobbed my hair off and its Not Great (said thru gritted teeth)#my lushious LOCKS bro#and its fucking ITCHY and greasy so im extra pissed off I will be normal about it soon
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I need to draw my rook bc I actually do have some ideas for them I just. Have NOT been in a creating mood idk I'm so tired... Aoughgggh
#crow rambles#i want to write and i want to draw and i want to do a million things and i am doing NONE of them...#insane... crazy even...#like. i have several fic ideas i wanna write (nothing new there) but i am not writing them#i. well i dont have any art ideas now but i WANNA draw but ohh. hard :(#i think i may be having a little creative burnout... give me like four days ill be back on my game#i can never stay away from art for too long. i get itchy if i dont draw for a few days#longest ive went without drawing in the past like. decade. has been a week and that was when i got covid#my ass can NOT put the pencil down#i do want to get some of my rook ideas into fic bc i think it may help me flesh them out a little bit#while i do have a lot of criticisms of dav i kinda wanna stop focusing on them so much#bc i KNOW ive been posting about them alot on here#and while i don't think the game SHOULDNT be criticized (it definitely should) i dont want to be solely negative on it#bc i actually did have fun playing it#and i want to reflect it in my posts lmao#however. i love bitching. i am so good at bitching#its a competitive sport and im winning. top tier bitcher thats me#idk i should probably replay the game bc its always easier to make a protagonist for a dragon age game once you know the plot#but also i want to finish my dao replay... and replay da2... and finish my dai replay i never finished lmao#im at the landsmeet in dao so it shouldnt be much longer. i plan on skipping the golems dlc this go round bc i dont really like it and it#doesnt add very much to the plot imo. everytime i play it i get pissy over the harvester. fucking AWFUL boss#tried killing it on hard mode. once. i am never doing that shit again i HATEEEE that stupid thing#<- by landsmeet i meant i am doing the denerim quests right before the landsmeet. im just before the whole 'anora got locked up' thing#am NOT looking forward to the alienage... idk i really want go get to witch hunt 😭😭
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/ My headcanon is that Luci actually hates heath, hot weather, hates summer, hates warm things, which is kind of ironic considering he's like;; you know, burning in hell constantly, but this is precisely why he secretly hates it, and I say secretly hates heat bc he's too proud to say that his kingdom is actually insufferable to live in so he's like, burning and being :)))))
#;l.ucifer#;headcanons#headcanons#u'll see him eating ice creams but if u point it out; he's putting the ice creams on the microwave and drinking it like soup out of spite#i think its a funny thought; i think its fitting bc he's just incredibly spiteful and prideful to ever admit stuff related to him or his#domain#im sorry but if ur muse is a walking heather he's going to think to himself; disgusting...#but if ur muse is always cool; he's like -glues to u-#he also sometimes finds the other fallen angels insufferable which i'll find a piece where he's talking to b.elial and#to say the least; it takes someone really annoying to get the d.evil himself to be like; bro stfu#HE'S ITCHY; HE'S ANNOYED LIKE 85% OF THE TIME; MOST OF EVERYTHING SUCKS A.SS TO HIM#edit: ok now its in the correct blog
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Whatever the fuck kinda fuck ass hormones are happening in my body right now I'm mad at them. pmsing pre-period-ing whatever you wanna call it and I'm so mad. So grumpy. And I can't help it! But I'm aware that I shouldn't dump that on people so that means that I'm mostly just silent or making noises to myself. Also mad for other reasons but last week I was able to handle it somehow. Premenstrual me struggles to handle it much more tho
#also my knee hurts. that's a classic tho. my back hurts and my neck to the point that i cant read a book. or i can but its very painful#also im annoyed because if it my mom does get diagnosed with celiac then maybe i will too and i love gluten. maybe she won't tho but if she#will.....been thinking about diet and the fact that i really am fucked up when it comes to that because i 1 have food issues that are like#ocd sensory related 2 have disordered type thoughts will not get into that 3 don't eat meat hate it with every fiber of my being 4 if we ad#gluten to that...oof. im also a person who will bring a snack to the function i try to have something in my bag always because sometimes#there's just nothing for me and i do try to eat to be polite sometimes but sometimes when i do i literally gag. anyway i hate eating but i#also love eating#and also i have pimples i very rarely have pimples so thats a big deal for me and i actually don't care how they look its the fact that im#going to have to put on a band aid or something cause i keep picking at them#and i have another itchy thing under my eyes that comes out when i go too long without using these eye patches things but i bought a 60 pcs#pack and it turns out that the big pack is fake as shir because they're completely different different texture and so thin that they just#slide from under my eyes to my goddamn chin#also my grandmoms fridge got fucked up and i have to go over tomorrow to clean all that up how the FUCK will i transport a new one idk girl#my tiny car is too tiny to transport a regular fridge#so yes i am annoyed AND annoying. whateverrrr
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uhh @mulberrycafe i like shamat and scary nerevar (scaravar). here u go.
bonus joke sketch he is getting his nails done
okbye you're cool.
#G-d sorry im really bad at gifting art#shamat#not tagging as nerevar because its a little niche#pictured: when youre at a fancy party and your dress is itchy and uncomfortable#pictured: scarevar and also a pair of earrings.#pictured: why is he smiling? you will maybe find out.#pictured: special treatment. sort of.#fanart of a fanfic#sketch
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...
#love that when ur stressed and having a bad time it makes ur menstrual pain worse so you feel even more awful#like. yes. id love to get things done but unfortunately i need to go home immediately at 2pm bc i feel physically ill. vibes wretched.#im considering sleep here at 6pm but 2 b fair i think i only slept 4hrs last night. woof. tomorrow is gonna b interesting#i think the allergic reacting is abt over now tho. like im not really itchy anymore. the rash is still visible but i think its just dry now#bc of the cold. so was i ever reacting to the tatto0? or was it all the medication? im so interesting in what happened#would i not have had a reaction if i hadn't got a bunch of holes poked in my skin? or was it just a coincidence#that the rash started on that arm? ugh. so frustrating. and i think the psychiatrist forgot to actually book my appointment from when we#last talked so idk. maybe if i watch t4skmaster over and over it will heal my soul#ay. its all very frustrating. and i still dont have fucking autoclave access. fuck off. just give me the fucking key code#i just wanna pour plates 🫗 lol that actually looks a lot like pouring solid media. i dont wanna have to steal someone else's card to open#the door. who even locks up an autoclave??? they didnt at my old school and u could wheel a body into that thing. im pretty sure it was#bigger than this one. also there's another unlocked on on campus. why?! i ask ppl and fucking no one knows. that's just how it is#ugh. i should go to sleep. my tummy hurt#unrelated
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we managed to get an appointment at a time that's kind of reasonable for our sleep schedule, if we hadn't had to stay up late to book it and we'll need to get ready for bed before we can actually sleep so we're not gonna get much sleep I guess.
it is also an in-person appointment because apparently they need to check our ears and that means we're gonna end up using more energy than we can really afford to use at the moment.
on the plus side we can finally get round to explaining the weird symptoms we usually get with our ears that we think might be linked to the mystery skin condition on our scalp that may or may not be psoriasis, so maybe we can get treatment or answers of some kind and hopefully it won't be a thing that requires a load of extra tests and appointments
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#okay warning for me describing the weird symptoms we get in our ears but anyway:#we basically get like... big chunks of dead skin that come off. like y'know when a lizard sheds its skin#and the shed skin comes off in the shape of the body part it came from? that. it literally looks like that in the shape of our ear canal#and it gets so fucking itchy so we end up having to remove it which unfortunately is probably irritating the hell out of our ears#but if we don't remove it then it just builds up and causes more issues so we're damned if we do and damned if we don't#we get really similar symptoms on our scalp and on and around our nose but we keep forgetting to actually mention it to a doctor#it's also not uncommon for the skin on our ears to tear and bleed and get really sore and irritated#and the areas of our scalp with similar issues also tend to bleed and get really sore#it originally started just on our nose maybe a decade or so ago and has kind of spread and gotten worse over time#but the only times we have briefly mentioned it nobody's actually looked into it at all#and we forget to book appointments for this specifically because we're just so used to it
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im convinced theres a gas leak in my apartment but i dont know how to just like. call maintenance and say that bc what if im wrong and its actually not a problem. what if i say "hey theres a gas leak" and they say "theres actually nothing and its just a you problem" it would be so embarrassing
#personal#for the last couple days at around the same time i start smelling sulfur then my eyes get itchy and my throat feels tight#and i looked it up and thats a sign of a gas leak#but what if im just like having a stroke or something#really the only sign is the smell#the rest of it is just physical symptoms that could be a me problem#but if its a gas leak. i would like there to not be a gas leak#anyways im posting it on tumblr bc i wanted to tell someone#but if i tell anyone else they'll say 'you should really call someone' and i dont wanna#my roommates gone for a few days so i cant even be like 'hey are you also dying'
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god i really want to get back into making cosplay/costume stuff but everything sounds overwhelming i dont even know how to articulate why its just. i havent actually done it very much and its hard
i usually get my mom to help me figure out how to do this stuff but its like. she has a full time job and even less of a clue than i do at making this kind of stuff. (other than sewing which she has mostly just made clothes)
id love to try to figure out how to do this stuff on my own or maybe find some people to actually help or at least to takl about it with or SOMETTHING but theres like. not really a community locally and im betting that even if there were regular meetups id do a horrible job of actually showing up if it wasnt something mandatory like school
i feel like im always overestimating how much i can do and how well i can do it and so even when i make something cool its still sorta frustrating.. and mostly its just so much work and then i get relatively little use out of it too
i dunno i have several projects i still need to finish and many many more that ive never started. lol. but i still feel like maybe it would be cool to try to do something. i feel like i want to make some dragonish type thing like horns or tail or something but i feel like i dont know where to start. maybe horns would be more doable cause tail seems like it would need a whole fuckin thing underneath to stay on, and apparently people just use headbands for horns? ive only ever made small forehead horns but big ones would be cool maybe but they seem difficult to balance and have them stay on
sorry this is probably hard to read but i just need to type this shit out somehwere to actually think about it i guess. screaming into the void or whatever with the small chance that someone might actually see it and maybe be able to offer some advice i dunno.
i know theres templates online for some of this stuff but it would be nice to be able to figure it out myself too. to be able to make stuff in more specific and different shapes and stuff
#just feeling really frustrated about random shit and i think trying to do something like this might be fun and maybe help a bit#but at the moment all its doing is making me more frustrated#its like i can picture some of the steps but mostly its just like. start -> ???? -> end steps -> finish -> fun#and thats Not Helpful#and all the videos i can find are just like. here print out this specific template and fucking. glue it together or whatever#and im like thanks i kinda figured thats how you would use a template but i kinda wanted to make my own#bleh blech idk i deserve a tail and horns and wings. optionally when it would be fun and when they would not get in the way#ooo also fangs and claws#technically i have some vampire fang caps but they dont fit very well and they make me feel like im wearing really itchy dentures#i need to refit them again sometime maybe#also i really should redo my nail polish. that might be good#something something visual of having claws without them actually getting in my way#anyway.
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ah. I just realised that the new antidepressant is probably also what's making my nose bleed more often (again). I knew it causes dry eyes and dry mouth so I looked it up and yeah. it can totally make your nose dry too. so at least that's that solved I guess lol
#it still fucking sucks. have had like. 4 nosebleeds today#all of them stopped quickly but fuck it is annoying#my nose is already very dry under normal circumstances in winter. sooo. really got to make myself use the ointment I got 😭 (haven't found#one that doesn't feel gross or makes my nose itchy. so I don't like using it.)#I guess that also explains why I got a crazy amount of nosebleeds when I was on another antidepressant (doctor said that's impossible#because it doesn't increase bleeding on its own. well yeah but it totally can make my nose even drier. which then makes it bleed. don't know#why I never thought of that lol)#annnnd somehow I also never realised that it could cause dryness in. other places. hm. well that's also interesting. maybe that should also#be in the information leaflet but 🤷 who cares right.#personal#cw medication#cw blood
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I am opening my mouth like a baby bird for the barebones offline version of the rpgsolo stuff .. excited to see :3
i hope you enjoy it when it goes up, anon!! my main issue so far is trying to figure out how tf to format the percentage tables over text on a tumblr post. i could just post screenshots of it, because as it is it formats terribly onto here, but it's critical for it to be screen-reader accessible. i might go ahead and put it in a pastebin to link along with the screenshots; i'd like to get it down in multiple formats and mirrors in case something happens to one version, i Do Not Trust hosting sites these days, but i think that's probably a good start.
#asks#anonymous#whosebaby talks#whosebaby makes things#whosebaby does gamedev#ttrpg tag#i absolutely want to get it down in as cohesive; easily-parsed; and minimally susceptible to link rot a format as possible#i believe strongly in crediting and directing people back to the sources you're making use of#but the idea of 'this game is now unplayable bc the page with critical infrastructure to its function disappeared' makes me itchy as hell#BUT yes first and foremost i want to make sure it's accessible to people at *all* even if it might be a bit of an extra hassle#cannot overstate how much the work of indie devs setting out to fill a niche and make it easier for people to experience the joy of ttrpgs#in the way that actually works and is fun and accessible for them; while also making me realize that Wait *I* Can Do This TOO :O#has been a joy and inspiration to me both on principle and because it's let me enjoy tabletop myself when i couldn't otherwise#and being able to contribute back the same way is just !!!!!!!!! and i hope the results bring people the same#ANYWAY. happy chrysler to anyone who celebrates i have great big feelings about tabletop dev#and this was really nice to get thank you anon
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legit wondering if when I start going to the doc for all my physical shit I should ask abt who I should see abt maybe getting mood stabilizers
i'm sick of this unending cycle of getting eight million ideas and scrambling from one to the next before burning myself out on all of them and falling into a depression and hating myself for not doing any of the eight million things I was excited about
#i am losing my fucking mind here i cant fucking take it anymore#i dont think im bipolar i just think the adhd takes the wheel and fucking floors it#i dont have delusions of grandeur (not more than a flight of fancy that i know is unrealistic anyway) or like. euphoria.#i also dont not remember stuff from from those surges of inspiration#i mean i might forget something but thats bc i got distracted and my brain dumped it to focus on New Shiny Thing#this is the equivalent of my 2AM mental breakdown so bear with me here i am Going Through It when i should be sleeping#also it feels like theres shit crawling on me and there isnt but i cant sleep bc i am ITCHY WHY AM I ITCHY WHY DOES IT FEEL LIKE THIS#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#fun fact: the sensation of shit crawling on you is called formication#which is really fucking funny#like i understand its from formica meaning ant but it is literally one letter away from fornication#anyway doing my usual webmd doom spiral and guess what gets formication as a symptom sometimes: bipolar disorder#im gonna laugh if i get a bipolar dx but it doesnt seem right#all the other options were autoimmune disorders like parkinson's and MS and fibro and RA#which. i might actually have rheumatoid arthritis. but the others? theyre scary. i dont wanna deal with that.#i dont even wanna deal with RA lets be real#farmer voice: i was just fine before i went to the doctor and now all of a sudden ive got an immune disorder#wait i dont think parkinson's is an autoimmune disorder thats a neurological condition#ok carry on#more fun facts since i am now down a wikipedia rabbit hole to distract myself from my itchy self#the process of ur limb falling asleep and going numb is called obdormition#then when the feeling starts coming back the pins and needles feeling is paresthesia#formication is an uncommon kind of paresthesia#obdormition is our funny word of the day and i look forward to telling someone about it randomly or for it to show up in a crossword soon#bc u know how u find something new and suddenly it's everywhere?#yeah. i get the feeling thats gonna happen here.
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House meat progress
#house projects#personal#legitimately becoming my most loathed project#its not HARD per se#ok yes it is hard#its hot and exhausting#and so fucking itchy#i hate scooping up the old stuff but i have to#im also having to rip up/out the old disconnected wiring as i go#and clean up the trash that was left from previous workers who apparently gave 0 shits#im almost halfway done so#its getting there#but ugh#it makes my back and knees hurt#and i keep catching my head on roofing nails#one day ill scalp myself#i could wear a helment but its already miserable enough wearing thick long sleeves pants gloves boots and a mask#i should wrar goggles too but they fog up and i cant see#i really really hope this will be worth it#also im pretty pleased to see that i at least got enough insulation#i may have extra so ill just layer it over the first layer#howse
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