#its a whole thing but i think i just need to let myself have free time lol instead of being like 'okay you'll have free time. to do this'
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GAAHAHHHHH
#venting in the tags#maybe its just past darkness and the Bad Thoughts which i shouldnt listen to are clouding my brain too much#but i feel so fucking weird and inadequate over everything rn#im unable to work on drawings as i usually would have and its kinda plaguing everything which it should like yeah i love drawing but#i cant let just one aspect of me ruin everything. right? the fact that i havent been able to draw as well as i usually can should make me#feel sick to the stomach and unsure about everything i do but it happening and i hate it.#plus i got the ipad id saved up from the comms to buy and its fun and nice and all and maybe i just need more practice with it but i feel#like im not able to draw on it even more? and i spent the whole day trying to get used to it but its just not as good?? and then when i went#back to the no screen wacom i couldnt get a hang of it becuase idek its just not happening#and also the fucking art block wants me dead i swear i want to draw so bad and i have so many ideas but the moment i start anything its just#crumbles down into nothingness and i hate everything i do and gods fuck i want to cry but i can because there are people at home and#usually im a big 'crybaby' when im at home but i dont fucjing wanna be like that anymore like i can handly my shit myself im fine.#i dont need to just fuckinf cry abiut it becuase thats not gonna fox anything but also i feel like crying might just make me feel better#but then id have to hear shit from my family and i know theyre just teasing in a /pos way but i dont wanna fucking deal with that#plus my brother iust talking to him os annoying sometimes like he talks about things so condescendingly and fucking hel dude shut#the fuck up i dont need you telling me that my art is something people can 'just do' and the fact that i was able to get the ipad#'basically for free since i got that money from the little drawings i make' as if they dont fucking mean anything to you like#shut the fucking fuck up dude i worked hard on those and even though i dont like my own shit sometimes i still fucking work hard on those#fuck you you bitch#i think a lot of things are just piling up and i need to sleep#tomorrow will be a new dawn and a fresh start and maybe ill hate myself less#ps. note to anyone reading the tags#im fine i just needed to yell out and express my frustration a bit. some sleep will help surely.
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I think an hour long hug while watching mutant mayhem with a friend I love dearly would fix me
#i am. not doing well#its a whole thing but i think i just need to let myself have free time lol instead of being like 'okay you'll have free time. to do this'#well thats not all i need but its all i can really give myself#oh and it was my birthday two days ago. i celebrated it the day after n it was nice and i almost cried after it all#so. not bad. just hate the passage of time and that im a fucking 15 year old freshmen now#not a kid anymore i guess. is this what being an adult is like#no friends no support just getting through each day longing for some sort of connection some proof you arent something awful#but not getting it. or is it just like finacial problems#idk i dont think ive ever met a truly happy adult#anyway. yeah dont mind this#just tired of talking to myself in discord. cant believe ive reached such a low point that im listening to t.aylor s.wift#vent
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My first ever comic con! And first cosplay too. Of course it's gonna be my boy :] Ramblings about the process are under the cut(Let me know if?? You would want me to elaborate with process images for any of the steps?)
The costume took me forever to make, as I've never done any machine sewing, sculpting, fabric dying or spray painting before but learning all of these was so fucking fun!! I never realised just how many different skills go into making a cosplay but it was so worth it!!!
Almost all of the clothes(except the hat) were purchased first as bases, but all of the detailing was added by me. All of the fabric used was originally just scraps that I was given for free so I needed to learn how to dye and dye all of the stars, they were originally white.
The sewing machine was its own beast that brought me tons of frustration from the lack of skill and knowledge (it was devastating to find out that 95% of fuck ups were my fault and not the machine's lmao). But as a result, a hat sewn from scratch, all of the fur trims, embroidery on the corset, stars and the collar(which is very hard to see on the pictures unfortunately) was all added manually. The stars and the stripes(on the back of the cape) were attached using heat-and-bond adhesive (I WISH I knew about such thing just when I started working on this. It would save me so much time and nerves.)
Then I found out about polymorph(mouldable plastic) and it has become the next thing I wanted to learn, to sculpt the claws and the fangs(yes, they're handmade jfksjs). The claws I then primed and painted in trillion coats because I wasn't satisfied with the colour of the spray paint. The fangs I moulded to my own teeth and then stained with tea to match the colour of my teeth :)c
As for makeup, I used Mehron Paradise water activated paints. At first I wanted to try to save money and bought myself Snazaroo instead, which unfortunately turned out to be a waste. Snazaroo didn't hold on my face for longer than 2 hours, cracking and peeling awfully. Mehron on the other hand survived 11 hours of me smiling, talking, emoting and such and didn't even crease at the smile lines(I'm actually shocked about that). It obviously works like any other makeup which means your skin texture and wrinkles won't go anywhere but Mehron's elasticity pleasantly surprised me. It did obviously smear from sweat and saliva(if you're eating and licking your lips) but if you don't touch the skin it just dries again, self setting. But if it's dry it's fully smear-proof. Highly recommend!
And last but not least, I've decided against painting my hands as it was very risky that I will stain everything I touch at the smallest hint of sweat. So instead I got myself gloves-tights(? Not sure how they're called but it's made from the same fabric as tights) and painted them with normal acrylic paint(did you know you could dye fabric with acrylic paint? I personally didn't), then heat set with an iron and voilà, they're reusable, my hands are not stained after an exhausting day and I don't stain everything I touch. It worked wonderfully which honestly was a surprise as I was really sceptical that acrylic paint will somehow stay in place.
I think this whole thing took me minimum of 6 months with big-big breaks for my school and life in general. But I'm really proud! This project taught me so many new skills and I couldn't have been happier about learning new knowledge, even if it sucked to fail in the meantime.
Everyone at the con was really nice and gave me a large confidence boost even tho it was my first time and I had no idea what I was doing. Taking photos with other people was really awkward/new for me as I hate cameras so I really had no idea how to pose/behave in front of one. But that's okay I think. This whole experience definitely made me want to do this again, so I think that will come with experience. Thank you for reading this far, hope you enjoyed this little summary :)
#my art#cosplay#biting the hand that feeds au#moondrop#fnaf moondrop#fnaf moon#moondrop fnaf#moon fnaf#bhtf moondrop#i had such a good time#little awkward moments of me being autistic and not reading social cues and/or having trouble processing didn't go anywhere#but that's okay#i don't think i was ever complimented as much as i was complimented at the con so that's a W#artist alley was definitely an experience of me just finding out how actually autistic i am#because i really Am Not Interested in anything aside from my special interests#literally got myself a singular Moon sticker and a singular Mothman print#that's it lmfaooo#i also had people come up to me to just give me a tiny plastic newborn toy and run away#10/10 hilarious#bhtf au#i MIGHT just draw Moon in some of those poses because 👀#also maybe will make a separate post just showing off all of the details that are not as noticeable on camera? maybe? if yall would want#the cape and the hat ARE SO FUCKING FLUFFY#thank you silvermizuki for the fur🫵
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Genshin Angst Headcanons - Why the two of you broke up
Note: Had an unexpected free day! I haven't written in a while, please excuse the mistakes, if any.
Disclaimer at the end of the post
Warning: Some are pretty predictable. Each of them have their own issues, lore wise, so some are lore heavy. You might not agree with some of them, but its how I see it, so to each their own. Let me know what you think! Some are quite angsty. Some scenes it's you breaking up with him and some are vice versa. Didn't feel like writing Razor, Venti and Xingqiu.
Characters: Aether, Albedo, Alhaitham, Ayato, Baizhu, Bennett, Chongyun, Cyno, Dainsleif, Diluc, Gorou, Heizou, Itto, Kaeya, Kaveh, Kazuha, Lyney, Neuvillette, Scaramouche, Tartaglia, Thoma, Tighnari, Xiao, Zhongli, gn!reader
Personal Favourites in this work: Lyney, Itto, Kazuha
Aether
Sister issues. Enough said.
He realized he didn't have enough time to spare romancing with someone.
Somewhere along the way he felt guilt that he was enjoying his time with you while his sister went through some sort of villain origin story that seemingly turned her bad.
Top off all the adventuring, searching, solving problems for other people that he did...Where did that leave you, exactly?
"...I'm sorry, Y/N... I just... I don't think this is the right time for me to be together with you,"
Albedo
Contrary to popular belief it wouldn't be his lack of time or extreme focus on his alchemical experiments that would break the two of you up. He knows how to manage his time.
It was the RESULTS of experiments and his research that would put him away from you.
The possibility that HE or his world, was way too dangerous for you.
How many "Albedos" did Rhinedottir really create? Was there more than three? Perhaps four, five? And what happens when you come face to face with another Albedo?
"I'm afraid...There are far too many dangers surrounding myself... There are answers that I can't find...and perhaps that's the reason why my answer is to part ways with you,"
Alhaitham
Too much of a nonchalant attitude.
He expressed some kind of interest in you...but it's like... once in a blue moon. 95% of the time you're not sure if he's really into you. It almost seems like he's more into that book he reads all the time.
Simply just not good at expressing himself. Like, at all. Hides behind a "whatever works" and "I don't care about what other people think of me" attitude, unfortunately that seems to include you.
Is so straightforward that sometimes it hurts, but he's really just telling the truth through logical analysis.
will act like the breakup didn't hurt nor affect him at all. In turn it hurts you instead.
"I see. So you've had enough of me... And you only spoke up now? Pointing it out earlier could've diverted us from this path...If that's how you feel already I suggest that we stop seeing each other,"
"That's it? You're not even going to try and work it out with me?"
"What's there to work out? You've made yourself clear. You're not satisfied with the way I treat you, and I'm afraid I'm not going to change the way I act just for your pleasure... It'd be more meaningful for you to find someone who fits your criterias,"
Ayato
entering a relationship with a noble was not as easy as one thought.
It's not just about being together forever and feeling lucky because Ayato is rich and your whole life is set, it's also the not fitting in, the etiquette, the whispers from townfolk that you were too ordinary for him, the work that you needed to do if you were to become his wife.
All that was not really a big problem for you, but Ayato seemed not to know of your struggles, he was extremely busy, and when he wasn't, he seemed to think that everything was well and fine, since you were getting all your basic needs met and even more.
"...So I'm sorry, Ayato. This is just... All too much for me. I'm sorry,"
"...I understand. Forgive me, it seems that I've overlooked a lot of things...Perhaps it is as you say, that it'd be better for us to grow apart rather than grow together,"
Baizhu
because he is a ticking time bomb, no matter which way he looked it's not going to end well for both of you.
He either dies early or lives forever. In both scenarios he anticipates that the two of you are just going to be in a world of hurt.
Besides, he didn't mean to get so attached to someone in the first place, he knew his quest for immortality was long and arduous. You didn't deserve to walk that difficult road too.
While breaking up, will conceal the fact that he's only thinking of you and will possibly hurt you in the process.
"I'm sorry, but it's for the best. I ask that you continue going forward without me, there's no space for you in my... ideal future,"
Bennett
We all know it...it's his bad luck. However, it wasn't YOU who had a problem with it, it was HIM.
You understood that his bad luck was just some extended part of him, plus it's not like it was always bad, there were a lot of good times too. Plenty!
But the guilt ate him up whenever the two of you were stuck in a seemingly impossible scenario and predicament, brought on by his luck. He just had enough of it one day.
"I...I can't keep doing this to you every day! It's not fair..."
will be on the brink of tears before he even starts.
"Maybe it's better if you find someone else to adventure with, Y/N, sorry...!"
runs away before you can even get a word in.
Chongyun
Thinks he's not good enough in every aspect. It's really, seriously not about you. He thinks he's lacking in everything. Strength, maturity, experience, confidence.
So badly wants to stay with you but feels like he's not good enough and thinks that you're better off with someone else.
"D-Don't misunderstand... It's not because I don't like you anymore... I just...Please find someone else!"
Cyno
his bad jokes and TCG addiction. just kidding, you're not that shallow.
A lot of people are intimidated by him being the General Mahamatra because he gives importance to justice. While you, who had seen a bit more of him than other people had, it seemed more of an obsession to uphold the Akademiya's law and integrity.
This was not a big problem to you, you liked how he was serious at work.
Until one day when you were accused of plagiarising one of your papers and Cyno was the one sent to give you a first offense warning. The Akademiya knew of your relationship, that's probably why they sent him, to make it harder on the two of you.
Cyno didn't listen to your explanations on how it was an honest mistake, he still gave you the warning that you "deserved"
From then on it had just been different between the two of you, so it was really a mutual breakup. Or so you thought.
"...After that, I just realized that maybe this isn't the right time for us... We're both working for the Akademiya, we both take our jobs seriously...Unfortunately that seems to just be getting in the way of us...I think it's best if we stop seeing each other,"
"...I see." he pauses for a minute, as if tossing your words in his mind. "I...agree. Parting ways would certainly make work easier for both of us...it's the professional thing to do,"
Dainsleif
Has not moved on from his past.
Sure, everyone has their own baggage to carry, their own history to live through...but Dainsleif has heavier things than that. He seemed to wake up every day thinking of Khaenri'ah and the days long past. Was it regret? Nostalgia? Loneliness? You didn't know. You just knew that he wasn't really completely THERE with you in the present. Part of him still lived in the past.
When you explained that you felt like the two of you were not moving forward together and that it seemed like he wanted to go back to the past instead, he got offended.
"...My past is something that I carry forever, you'd claimed that you understood that," he starts.
"I do! But carrying it with you and letting it drag you backwards are two different things!"
He falters for a moment, only to leave you with his last words before turning away from you forever: "You will never understand, the weight that I carry,"
Diluc
is too guarded. You'd been friends for a long, long, long, long time before he decided he could let you in enough and be more intimate with you.
Even then everything was going at a snail's pace, though you were extremely patient with him.
The biggest problem with Diluc was that the two of you would progress one day, take a step forward, and then the next day it was like the two of you took two steps back.
Example: The two of you went out for a simple stargazing excursion late one night, it was nice and he had been incredibly affectionate. The next day he had trouble even meeting your gaze, and disappeared to do his work. It was also a little awkward during dinnertime. This scenario had happened more than once.
Hint: the closer he got to you the more afraid he became, thinking that he would one day lose you too.
"I...I can't. I love you but I...I've waited far too long. I'm sorry. I'm tired of this endless chase for you!"
He couldn't even say a thing. He'd wanted to ask you to stay, to wait for him a little longer, but he already knew how incredibly selfish that would have been. Instead, he grimaced, and looked away from your gaze, trying to find something worthwhile to say. There was only silence for a few moments.
"Goodbye Diluc," that's when you turned away.
Gorou
worships Kokomi too much and your insecurities just kept circling around in your head.
You know its his job. You know he isn't like that but the problem was YOU and not him.
Simply said you let your insecurity eat up the relationship between the two of you.
You couldn't bring yourself to say that you were jealous of the way he admired Kokomi so you broke up with him with another reason in tow.
Unfortunately, you're not a very good liar face to face so you did a butthole move and actually broke up with him through a letter. You just couldn't face him and tell him why.
All you mentioned in the letter was that you needed time to think and be away from him, and told him not to worry because it was your problem, not his.
Poor Gorou reread that letter over and over, trying to understand what went wrong.
Heizou
is just a natural flirt. You're not sure if he's doing it on purpose or not and you're not sure if he's even aware he's like that.
Anyway you'd seen him getting overly friendly (just another word for flirting) with a few other people a couple of times. You didn't let it get to you the first, fourth or even eighth time but you realized that he KNOWS that you're watching him do that.
So you confront him about it, but he claims that it's just his way of gathering information from others. People like to hear good things and some people are more susceptible to flirtatious comments so he resorts to that for his investigation sometimes.
You didn't really completely buy it and even if you did, it's not like this was healthy for your relationship. You just couldn't make yourself comfortable with it.
*You just chalked it up to the two of you being incompatible.
"I'm just not comfortable with that...I don't think I have to say sorry for how I feel but...I'm sorry anyway because I know you're just doing your job... It's probably best if we part ways here..."
"Is there any way to change your mind?" he genuinely asks.
You only give a lopsided smile. "You're a detective, I think you already know the answer to that,"
Yet he didn't stop you from walking away.
Itto
Kept breaking promises because he was too airheaded or too occupied doing something "stupid" with the kids or with his gang.
Pretty soon it just felt like you were an afterthought while everyone else in his life took precedent.
Got a ramen date? Oops, sorry! Got caught up looking for a strong onikabuto in the forest!
Needed his help to move some things? Gah, he was vandalising the bulletin boards, so he's running a bit late!
What's more you didn't actually mind that carefree, airheaded side of him...but it really got to you when he couldn't even seem to make you a priority. Not once.
He only realized that when he came running, late again, and stood face to face with a crying you.
"Hey sorry Y/N, I was just--...Why are you crying?!" is completely dumbfounded and clueless, mostly because when he came late, you had always shrugged it off with a smile on your face, or so he thought. This time you had a completely different reaction.
"I hate you...*hic* I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!"
Shocked beyond belief. It wasn't like you to just blow up like that, but he couldn't do anything except watch you turn and run away from him after that exclamation.
Kaeya
Sometimes you're not sure if he takes you seriously.
Recently, he's not where he says he is, you don't know why he doesn't just tell you where he is.
He said he'd be working late, but then you find out he's at Angel's Share.
He said he'll be at Angel's Share, but then you catch word from Jean that he's out on a late mission.
He said he's escorting a caravan to Mondstadt but he's actually on assignment in Liyue.
It came to the point where you altogether just stopped looking for him cause half of the time you couldn't find him. It's like he's avoiding you or something, which, actually, seems just about right since he's been so busy with "work"
It reached a breaking point when, for a week, you were unable to bring him the lunch you prepared...because he was not where he said he was going to be. It was starting to get annoying.
"I don't understand why you're lying to me! Why do you have to tell me you'll be at Angel's Share this afternoon when you're not? Do you realize you make me walk all the way there only to come all the way back with nothing achieved?"
"I'm sorry snowflake, that wasn't my intention," though he still chuckles despite knowing full well that you were about to turn away.
"You know what, let me know when you're ready to stop making jokes. Until then, don't bother contacting me,"
He just didn't expect you to actually walk away from him.
Kaveh
Entertains everyone and anyone. Naturally kind at heart, will stop for anyone in trouble...even that flirtatious man/woman who is clearly just pining for his attention.
No he doesn't quite realize this.
The same person had asked for his help at least 4 times now and all 4 times he had been happy to offer a helping hand.
The last straw was when he was invited into the stranger's house, they had apparently needed someone to help them move and re-arrange furniture and he did, working till almost dinner time.
You'd caught him right by the person's door, because Kaveh was actually honest and told you he'd be helping them today, but the person was clearly eyeing Kaveh rather flirtatiously.
"Come again next time," you heard the person say rather happily. Kaveh only replies with "If I have nothing else to do, I suppose,"
"Kaveh, they're coming onto you and you keep letting it happen!"
"I'm not certain what you're talking about...They just needed some help around their house, nothing suspicious happened at all. Even if there was, I won't let anything happen between me and a stranger!"
"Then STOP helping them!"
"There isn't anything wrong with lending a hand...It was a quick move of things, that's all,"
"How would YOU feel if I just went into someone's house and kept helping them "move" things?"
"...I would think that's nice of you,"
You actually threw your hands up. "Oh, forget it! You know what, for someone who LOVES helping others, you're not doing such a great job of helping ME," then walked away and never came back. "Good riddance,"
Kazuha
He's a wandering samurai. You knew what you were getting into but you didn't expect dating him to be so hard.
He was gone for weeks on end, and you were not getting on that boat with him. In essence the two of you were just not ready to follow each other to the end's of the Earth, and that was fair. The two of you were young.
Kazuha kind of saw it coming, whenever he visited you, you seemed less spirited and he had an inkling as to why. The time apart was just too much for you.
It was a rather clean break actually. A real mutual breakup that the two of you agreed on.
"...You could say it's just not the right time for us," you even managed to laugh under your breath and he did the same, though it was barely audible.
"...Mm. There are matters that you need to attend to here...and there are things that I need to do out there," he slowly stood up from his sitting position next to you and still gazed at you rather lovingly. "...Perhaps, in another world, you and I are bound together,"
You gazed back forlornly, "...Just not in this one, it looks like,"
Lyney
because he will always choose his siblings over you. Always.
Though that's not a bad thing because you also think that family is important...somewhere along the way you realized that family is the ONLY thing he had and saw.
Example: Lynette and you had gotten ill at the same time one winter morning. Perhaps it was the cold that was passing around Fontaine. Lyney had been so worried about Lynette, that he seemed to have forgotten about you for the next few days. In fact, Lyney didn't even realize that you caught the cold too. You had only heard from Freminet, who you happened to cross paths with, that Lynette was also ill.
You thought that incident was the end of it, but really it seemed that whenever Lyney wanted to hang out with you, Lynette had to be there too. You tried to understand...after all there's still that mystery of disappearing women in Fontaine.
The breakup was induced when Lyney completely forgot about your birthday, because Freminet's was around the same time as yours. You helped Lyney prepare everything for Freminet, and said nothing about your own.
You realized that there was nothing wrong with choosing family over everything else...but the problem here was that Lyney didn't even have space for you in the first place.
So you left without saying anything. You figured he'd get over it quick. You had even gone so far as to move away from the main city of Fontaine and out into another island, because what would you say if he found you? That you were jealous of his siblings? You weren't going to ruin a family like that and it wasn't right to make him choose...so you just left without a word.
Neuvillette
Had a whole brainrot for this man:
Part 1
Part 2
Scaramouche
surprisingly it's not his anger issues.
It's the way he wouldn't acknowledge your relationship. You wonder how you even got into one with him.
There's no public show of affection, but even behind closed doors it rarely happened.
You knew that he was going to be like that, and so you didn't mind it all that much.
It was getting a bit much though when, out in public, he would walk further in front of you and refused to walk next to you. When he pretended like he didn't even know you. When he didn't stop to help you even when another man had shown interest in you, bordering on uncomfortable.
The more time passed the more you simply felt unloved...but for some reason you still blamed yourself.
"...I...don't know. Maybe you find me undesirable, or just...unappealing. Maybe you're embarrassed of me or...or..." maybe you just didn't care in the first place, you thought to yourself.
There was a long silence. Of you turning your gaze away, of him still piercing into yours. And then...
"Tsk...don't waste my time...Leave if you want to leave, door's open,"
Tartaglia
This one is simple. It's his obsession for fighting plus his complete disregard for himself. It's a constant heart attack for you. At some point the anxiety is just too much for you to handle.
Imagine living every day just wondering if he's safe at the same time knowing that he just loves to look for trouble.
The foul legacy that you know of, he uses it with disregard as well, despite knowing that it wasn't good for him.
And there are even days where you know he was heavily wounded but didn't go to you, in an attempt to shield you from worry.
It's a constant battle trying to stay sane and unworried, until one day it all just becomes too much.
"...Nothing I say will change anything, Tartaglia. This is who you are...This is who you need to be..." you whisper while bandaging his knuckles. He lets out a short hum.
It was silent all up until you finished with his hand, you squeeze it gently. "...I love you but...I can't keep doing this to myself, I'm tired...more so than I have ever been before,"
He lets your hand slip away from his knuckles, and that was the last he saw of you.
Thoma
This one is also simple. He was always taking care of others and running errands for others that he sometimes just couldn't catch a break.
Just a classic case of not enough time for you since he had a job to do for the Kamisato Clan.
He knows it, and feels awful about it. So he's the one who makes the move.
"It hurts that I can't give you what you deserve, Y/N. This isn't it... You deserve more than this but I can't give you that and I'm sorry. Please look for the love that you deserve,"
Tighnari
Remembers everything. Can be critical of things you've done, specially if he thinks there's a better way to do it.
Simply said you just feel stupid in front of him sometimes.
He doesn't mean to, but he sometimes forgets to appreciate or give praise to the things that you do well and even if he does, it tends to be short lived compared to his constructive criticisms.
Pretty soon you felt like he only looks at the bad things you do, and never the good. Though he was really only trying to teach and guide you as an equal.
He in fact feels that you are one of the few people who can keep up educational conversations with him.
The problem is he kind of forgets that you're his lover, and that you would enjoy his praise and affection from time to time.
"Do you... Do you ever have anything nice to say other than 'good work' or 'great observation'?" the words were out of your mouth before you could hold yourself back. Sometimes it was tiring to feel like you weren't good enough.
There's a flash of surprise that crosses Tighnari's expression for a split second, before he recovers. "...Had I not been praising your work enough lately? My apologies... It has a lot of merits, I just thought that you wanted my opinion on how to make it better,"
You opened your mouth to say something, but closed it again right after to ponder on his words. Somehow even that had managed to make you feel embarrassed. It was here you knew that the problem also lied within yourself.
"...Sorry, Tighnari...I think I'll need some time alone,"
He obliges quickly and asks. "That's reasonable. When would you like me to come back?"
"...Let me rephrase that... I need some time away. From us."
Xiao
Unfortunately there's a lot of things wrong here... his lack of affection. His aloof personality. His dedication to his yaksha duties. Despite that he does actually try to be gentlemanly or respectful of you.
The worst of it is that he didn't know how to be in a relationship, in other words he just wasn't ready for one, or perhaps he would never be ready for one.
He didn't understand that humans craved companionship and sometimes touch. He didn't understand that meant having to favour you over others, sometimes even putting you first over his yaksha duties.
Worst of it all was when he shut himself off from you, sometimes for days on end, when his karmic debt was too high. He only really did it to protect you, but never realized how isolated that made you feel.
When you confronted him about it, he felt attacked. Hiding away was the only way he knew how to cope...why couldn't you understand that?
"Let me help you, Xiao,"
"I don't need your help!" his tone would make you wince and just like that he disappears into a billow of smoke.
You never returned to Wangshu Inn after that. If he couldn't let you in, there was no use trying to knock on his heart. Xiao being Xiao, never sought you ought again either.
Zhongli
He had experienced so many things and you had listened to many a tales from him.
This is what caused you to realize that you hadn't even experienced life at all, and yet here you were willing to tie yourself down to him.
It just didn't feel like it added up. Here he was with all this knowledge of the world and here you were who had never even stepped outside of Liyue. By no means were you stupid, but you felt that you could be better not only for him, but for yourself if you learned more.
There was just such a huge gap in life experiences, and though you never expected to get to his level (he was a God who had lived for a long time, you would never catch up to him) you at least wanted to see what was out there with your own eyes instead of through his stories.
He understood that wholeheartedly, and had no qualms in letting you go.
"You will always have a place with me, Y/N. No amount of lifetimes will change that,"
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Disclaimer: Relationships will always have some sort of problem along the way, maybe big, maybe small but I just want to reiterate that breaking up is not always the solution. Communicating is very important. So to those of you who like taking fanfiction too seriously, let it be known that this is just a work of fiction. I don't actually suggest breaking up with someone as soon as there is the slight indication of a problem (Just saw someone commenting on a similar themed post for Haikyuu that this wouldn't happen in the real world if both parties were mature... I mean, sure, but, idk, you must be fun in parties... it's called fiction for a reason...)
#genshin angst#genshin breakup#genshin headcanons#lyney x reader#genshin impact angst#lyney angst#neuvillette angst#neuvillette x reader#alhaitham x reader#alhaitham angst#cyno angst#cyno x reader#scaramouche x reader#scaramouche angst#diluc angst#tartaglia angst#itto angst
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View on Twitter
Since it came up recently, link to that therapist on twitter 👆 who was discussing Bucky's terribile therapist in TFATWS and how they should’ve been.
Transcript:
"As a therapist myself I've had a lot of feelings about Bucky's therapist on TFatWS, and have decided I need to rant a little to let it all out. I've worked w/active duty, trauma survivors, and court ordered clients, so here's some therapeutic conjecture on Bucky's therapy:
Aesthetically her office and presentation don't fit for someone who has been through the trauma that he’s been through. A client like this would need something non-threatening and safe- the whole vibe is overly formal and official in an office building, not at all therapeutic.
6 months working together she calls him Mr. Barnes and then James-he has identity issues and is struggling with who he is, so I think that one of the 1st things they would have done is figure out what he is comfortable being called, by whom and what that means for him.
He is still full out lying to her about pretty much everything including PTSD sx—I’m not saying clients never lie if they have good therapists, but if after 6 months he still doesn’t feel like he can be truthful at all then they haven’t built any trust/ solid therapeutic rapport
The pen and notebook thing-that’s clearly a trigger for him, there’s no reason to antagonize him and take notes in session like a punishment, it’s a power play on her part and it only emphasizes his lack of control in being forced into therapy (she should know his hx w/notebooks)
The whole little arm motion she made when she said “they need to make sure you don’t…” – that made so much light of what has happened to him, he probably feels like his arm is only good as a weapon and things like that will not help him accept it as part of his body
The rules, UGH the rules—from how they were talking about them clearly not something he actively created for himself, more like directives that he’s been ordered to adhere to—something fed to him and reinforced, feels like a way to sign off on liability only
THE AMENDS—this is probably my biggest issue. Amends are for people who need to take accountability for their actions and the repercussions of those choices. He had NO choice. He was a victim of horrific crimes against him, and framing it in a way that he needs to make up for
the crimes that others used him for is abhorrent. The lack of trauma informed care as astounding in the way it is being framed that he has to atone for sins that weren’t his. Its clearly reinforcing the idea in his head in ep 2 when he says “HYDRA were my people".
NO, HYDRA were your captors. They were not your people. That type of thinking needs to get deconstructed and challenged. He can dedicate himself to bringing good into the world and righting wrongs that happened WITHOUT taking on the responsibility of those actions.
Her whole attitude and demeanor were condescending and demeaning. I know some people have said “I love how she calls him out on his bullshit!” That’s not what I see happening. I call my clients out on their shit all the time—this was not that.
And I can only do that with clients ONCE we’ve built the type of relationship where it’s going to be therapeutic for them to hear it, and it’s done intentionally and with purpose. She just came off shaming and mean because they don’t seem to have any form of therapeutic rapport.
She said “you have no history, no family”- there is no therapeutic reason for that, and she’s wrong. He most likely has family alive (he used current tense when talking about his sister) and he was close to Shuri and TChalla, his history is vital to understanding him
When she said “Look, I know that you have been through a lot, but you’ve got your mind back. You are being pardoned. These are good things. You’re free.”—Yeah this feels really dismissive and like toxic positivity. “I know you’ve been through a lot BUT BE HAPPY!!??”
He certainly doesn’t seem to feel like he’s free (especially having therapy mandated), and you can’t just tell someone they’re free. I felt like she was pretty much just like, “shake it off, look to the future!” which feels really shitty when you’ve experienced excessive trauma.
HELLO breach of confidentiality, just introducing herself to Sam as his therapist and confirming it to Walker and the whole police station, it doesn’t matter if they know he’s in therapy you do not break someone’s privacy like that, he still deserves some control over his tx.
Ordering Sam into a session, NO, he’s not your client and you don’t know him well enough to know if that’s appropriate or if it would be harmful to either, and you haven’t asked your client for his consent to have another person in his session
Forcing a trauma victim who was stripped of his bodily autonomy for 70 years into a physically intimate exercise with a coworker that he’s barely interacted with in the last several months? NOPE, just reinforcing to Bucky she has control over him the way his handlers used to
To me, I think she is more focused on signing off on his psychological eval that he isn't a liability rather than any actual healing or attention to his trauma. This unfortunately isn’t unusual in the military where “mental health treatment” is focused on being mission ready.
They are making sure he’s ready to be an “asset” w/ mandated therapy, which he shouldn’t even be forced to do as part of his pardon because he shouldn’t have needed a pardon at all because he was a victim of horrific war crimes, brainwashing, and dehumanization for 70 years.
I’m just saying, if that was me he would be on my big squishy couch, bright open windows, bowl of Hershey kisses, random fidget toys, and two therapy dogs laying all over him while we work through that trauma and he builds back his identity and finds the calm he wants so badly.
And yes he would probably need someone who would see through his BS, call him out when he needs it, not be overly "touchy feely", but only if he feels safe and there is trust, where he gets to work on what HE wants, not what others think he needs.
Anyway thanks for coming to my TEDTalk, I❤️my work and I think being a therapist on retainer for the Avengers would've been a fucking trip, they all needed a team of mental health professionals at their disposal 24/7 and things would've been so much better🤣
ps. They can be a good therapist and just not be a fit for the client, that happens regularly. We know when to make it part of the conversation and when to refer out. Nothing good is going to come out of a contemptuous therapeutic relationship, mandated or not.
pps. That whole situation and the scene with Zemo was so rough. I can't imagine how much it brought back the violation, humiliation, anger, and helplessness of when he was the WS. I'm just imagining him having a therapist he trusts and being able to process that afterwards 😭😭😭"
#NOTE: THIS IS NOT ME I AM JUST TRANSCRIBING THE TWITTER THREAD#long post#antitfatws#bucky barnes#bucky meta#meta#mcu#mcu meta#dat's me#bucky's recovery meta#medical stuff#bucky's medical stuff#raynor#ref#writing#therapy#tl;dr: bucky is a victim should be in a soft room with therapy dogs and chocolate#also note: this depiction of therapy is NOT a critique because neither the characters nor the narrative calls her out for her crappy therapy#my theory: bucky's nightmares are not memories they are caused by his therapy...#he has to read winter soldier casefiles in order to make the List mandated by the terms of his pardon#(only files could give him the kind of details / intel he is shown as having about eg. yori's son)#he is being forced to cross names off the List (the Rules of his pardon) as monitored by his therapist...#but it's making him worse (giving him nightmares) ...and she knows but dgaf#as usual mcu writers blunder into a 'this would make more sense if the character was actually just hydra' subplot 🙄
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Kinktober Day 20
starring: johnny storm x male reader x reed richards
request: Sue Storm and The Thing are in an undercover mission which leaves Human Torch (Chris Evans), reader and Mr Fantastic (John Krasinski) alone in the same building. Johnny and reader use their free time to fuck, waking Reed from his sleep who is both frustrated and horny from reader's moans, he gets to the scene and finds Johnny fucking reader while holding him standing, this makes Reed turn feral and joins them to make a really dirty night
warnings: smut, cusring, oral sex, face fucking, unprotected sex, creampie, threesome, cheating!reed richards
with the whole building being empty it would be such a shame to not seize the opportunity for johnny to fuck you after not being able to for weeks due to the overwhelming amount of work.
johnny having you stood up as he fucked you deeply, he was spewing all kinds of shit in your ear "your ass feels so fuckin' good, i wanna give you all my cum so bad, i wish you could get pregnant" sometimes he was dumb but he was hot so it evens out.
but to the dismay of reed who was trying to get some sleep, but with being awoken by your slutty moans reaching down the hall, his cock hardening in his pants and after not being able to get off or have sex with sue in forever he was definitely complementing fucking you too.
but after hearing the way you moaned and praised the way johnny was fucking you he lifted out of his bed and walked to johnnys room, opening the door to see your ass getting plowed by johnny while standing up, but that didn't stop johnny.
meanwhile you were freaking out trying to stop him "you just gonna stand there or are you gonna get to fucking" johnny calmly said as he angled you towards a horny and sexually pent up reed, and what else could he do with a fine man like yourself right in front of him and an aching cock in between his legs, fuck you dumb.
he gives you a sloppy kiss before moving your head down to his crotch. bringing his cock out of his joggers to then slip into your mouth, his hands tightly holding your throat to fuck your throat like a sex toy.
"fuck it feels so good" he whimpers out, falling apart at the mere feeling of your tight mouth walls taking his whole length "i know right, got him all stretched out myself" johnny brags making your roll your eyes at his cockiness.
you mouth felt way better than that of sues, every night reed tried to have sex with sue she would deny him so after a few night of that you get a pent up man who needs to get of right then and right there and luckily you were the one to help him.
his thrusts into your mouth become deeper and harder as he closes in on his climax "shit can i cum down his throat" reed asks, wanting to make sure it's okay with you "don't worry y/n loves getting his holes used and cummed in, right baby" johnny asks to which your reply with a gargled 'mhm'.
reed gives a couple more thrusts into your mouth before filling you with his cum, johnny following close behind with his load spurting into your hole, filling you from both ends, lucky you, "thank you for that" reed says pulling out and putting his joggers back on.
"where do you think you're goin' you still got another hole to fill" you say panting and pulling your ass to the side and letting johnnys load drip down your leg, pulling reed back in, the fucking went on all night before sue and thing got back, you all acted like you just chilled the whole day but it was pretty obvious with that new limp you had.
taglist:@mailmango@spermeboy@ghostking4m@gayaristocrat@addictedtomalepits@staarb0y@crispysoup318@its-ares@gargoylesworld09@kadenvatsune@fuckshft@wompwomp-1mh3re
#johnny storm#johnny storm x reader#johnny storm x male reader#reed richards#reed richards x reader#reed richards x male reader#x male y/n#x male reader#gay smut#x male smut#x male#gay#male reader#bottom male reader#fantastic four#human torch#johnny storm x you#johnny storm smut#johnny storm fic#johnny storm fanfiction#reed richards smut
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I received a BroomSlayer 3000 for Christmas!
Behind its jovial mien lies a cold-blooded killer. It's got merciless jaws to clamp onto the plant and a heavy pivoting handle to extract the roots.
I think Father Christmas saw the Christmas Broom held hostage in my living room, under which he was supposed to leave presents, and realised I had reached a breaking point. Last winter I removed all the invasive shrubs in the pasture. I cut everything! Down to the tiniest baby broomlets! And one year later the place looks like this
It's luxuriant. It's humiliating. It's a boundless undulating broom prairie. Clearly as far as they're concerned, I just gave them a nice trim which allowed them to grow back even healthier. So I needed to try something more violent. Get to the root of the problem. (Sorry.)
(I noticed that the spot of last year's broom bonfire is still completely broom-free, but I have not yet reached the point where I set fire to the entire pasture and hope for the best)
Now let me demonstr
—wait a minute.
Is Pampe eating broom??
Ah, no. She's eating pointless, flavourless, leafless brambles which she wouldn't look at twice if they weren't right next to the plants I'd like her to eat, thus emphasising how much she is not eating these.
For a second here I thought you were being helpful.
I saw Poldine eating brambles instead of broom as well. Bad Poldine!
Poldine recovered from this heartbreak after I let her sniff the snow boots I got for Christmas. Just like cats (her idols) she enjoys inspecting new things. (She also enjoys pulling on the laces delicately with her lips to untie them. This game never gets old, if you're a mischievous young llama.)
Anyway. The BroomSlayer 3000 works!! But it's hard work. I did not think it was going to be hard work, because the website made it look so easy.
I wanted to take a little video of me uprooting my enemies but then I thought an illustration would better convey my emotional state—there was a demo video on the gardening website which sells the BroomSlayer and it was the loveliest most bucolic scene, featuring a polite tree who basically picked up its skirts and scampered away with a contrite gasp the minute it realised its presence was unwanted. I really thought uprooting things was going to be a picnic, because I am not immune to propaganda.
To be fair to the gardening website, maybe it's just broom. With that said, it's incredibly satisfying to pull on the handle and hear the delightful sskkrrhh sound of roots being violently torn out of the ground. It's an exhausting whole-body workout but eventuaIly I will grow stronger than broom. I made a murderous Veni Vidi Vici playlist to put myself in the right mood and with this musical support and my new antibroom weapon I will prevail.
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- nsfw mdi ! -
tags: re2/re4 leon x reader, hands-free, making him watch, bj, slight mention of bondage, jerking off
i need my needy baby in my mouth rn :((
-~- <3 -~-
leon’s wrists are tied up behind him with a piece of cloth. tied tight enough to keep him somehow restrained though you know he can break free from it if he really wants to.
you have him sitting on the edge of the bed, pants roughly pulled down halfway while his boxers are still mostly on. his curved hard cock is sticking out and standing against the garter.
after a long day, all you want is to have leon’s starved dick in your mouth, pleasing yourself for the most part ‘cause you just love the way he fits tight in your mouth. his leaking member always tastes so sweet, most especially after days of not being touched since leon’s either tired or so busy with work. when you finally get the familiar taste of his pre-cum again, your taste buds get so excited that you make more than enough saliva to coat the entire thing.
you want to busy yourself with sucking him off, all your attention directed towards his cock and nothing else. slowly bobbing your head up and down his whole shaft, swiveling your wet tongue around his girth, all while your palms are flat on the mattress beside him. you let your mouth do all the dirty work. hearing leon’s whimpers and feeling his cock buck up against your palate is already making you so wet. so turned on just thinking about how you’ve got your baby boy all needy and vulnerable with just the use of your mouth.
you glide your fingers outside your soaked panties while you continue to suck him off. knowing that you’re making him feel good is making you so horny you just might cum right there and then. when your jaw gets tired, you pull up a bit, circling your tongue around his red tip. you close any gaps, sucking him up and pulling away with a pop. leon utters out shaky moans when his dick leaves your mouth. you know his wrists are itching to slip out of the makeshift handcuffs he’s tied in. he’s likely wanting to just grab you by your hair and shove your face back down onto his dick.
he did it once before, cumming so strongly and so sudden down your throat. he got what he wanted but you didn’t let him fuck you for a week.
leon knows it’s best to keep still this time. the way his rock hard cock twitches in front of your face tells you that he’s close to cumming. his sharp gasps and screwed expression on his face tells you he’s trying to keep it in. you stare at him as you touch yourself more properly this time, rubbing your hot clit through the cloth and moaning when you feel pleasure hit you. you love it when leon watches you with those eyes, so soft and full of desire; it’s adorable.
he can’t hold eye contact for long so he tilts his head back. you’ll let out a louder moan as you watch his bare neck stretch and his adam’s apple bob when he swallows. gosh, you’d kiss all over it if you weren’t so stern on not touching him.
his dick is twitching again. you know he’s just about to reach his limit. he looks away because he knows he’ll cum if he keeps watching you.
and that’s what you want.
“Leon, baby, look at me. Watch me touch myself to you.”
leon huffs out a sound of frustration, conflicted if he should listen to you. In the end, he does, slowly pulling his head down to look back at you. you’ve slipped your hand in your panties by now, fingertips feeling so much better as its raw against your swollen clit.
“Mmphh,” you sound out between pursed lips, eyes flicking from leon’s locked jaw to his erection clearly aching to explode.
“F-fuck,” you can hear leon whisper under his breath, eyes latched onto your fingers, a sort of silhouette moving behind your panty.
you can’t help yourself. you slip two fingers in your pussy and you moan even more indecently than the one before. your knees, knelt before leon on the ground pull wide apart as you start finger fucking your soaking cunt.
“Ha.. ah…” you exhale as you press right on your puffy spot. you get so into it you almost forget leon’s watching. and when your eyes pull up to look at him again, his face has grown even more rigid.
“Do you like this?” you pant out, fingers going in and out at a quick pace and palm drenched and sticky between your slit and panties. you catch sight of leon’s teeth biting on his lower lip.
he hums a short moan and when you look him up and down, you notice his hips are subtly trying to jerk upwards.
“Wanna cum baby?” you ask, mouth ajar as you keep moaning. if you weren’t so horny fucking yourself right now, you’d probably be smirking at leon’s state.
“Mmph..” he inhales sharply, “Shit… baby, please.”
it’s the most coherent sentence he’s said in a hot minute.
“F-fuh… need to cum..” he mumbles.
leon tries his best not to pull his eyes away. and with that, you reward him, pulling the long strip of your panty to the side to expose your bare wet cunt making squelching lewd sounds as your fingers smoothly go in and out.
leon’s breathing is getting more rugged and his body jerks when he catches sight of your pussy. his face is flushed red and his hips are quite obviously humping the air already. “ah… baby.. you’re so pretty. Ha…” he murmurs in between moans.
you pull out your fingers from inside you, placing them all slick-covered back on your clit. leon’s about to cum soon and so are you. you rub your pussy as you watch leon’s stitched brows stitch deeper. his eyes are still on your hand.
you gasp up air as you feel an orgasm coming up. leon’s throbbing cock stretched loud and proud in front of you along with his pathetic whimpers and that oh so cute and handsome face is the most perfect view to cum to. “Ah~ fuck… i’m gonna cum. leon, cum with me? please baby?”
leon lets out a low and almost annoyed groan, so desperate and needing to cum. the speed of your fingers quicken as you see leon’s slight thrusting movements grow more eager as well. you don’t deny yourself the orgasm when you feel it rising in your stomach.
“Leon,” you gasp, “C-cumming.”
leon moans out another “fuck,” eyes lifting to take a look at your lewd face. “Mph… me too, baby,” he quickly whimpers.
you cum, loudly yelping and knees closing in as you continuously rub your orgasm out. leon doesn’t dare tear his stare away as he squeezes his dick and with one big thrust in the air, he cums, groans and moans stuttering out his mouth.
his cum shoots up high and in long thick strips. some of it ends up on your thighs. leon’s a trembling mess all throughout his high. you sit in your own juices, softly panting as you look at the disgustingly pretty sight in front of you.
“Jesus fuck,” leon says in his low and normal register that completely disappears when he’s needy and turned on. “I might actually kill you for this.”
you laugh, covering your snicker with the back of your hand. “Baby, I didn’t do anything. You did all that yourself.”
he frowns as he stares you down, “That shit was so fucking hard. I wanted to cum so bad.”
“And you did,” you say, pushing yourself up the floor. you move closer to him, damp fingers grazing over leon’s chest. leon feels a tingle run up his back from this foreign touch, something he has craved ever since he first saw you today.
“You came really good for me,” you say lovingly, wetting your lips and pressing them onto his. he’s so quick to kiss you back, leaning in with his tongue excitedly swiping over to ask for more. he tries to chase after your lips when you move it to kiss his cheek and jaw. your hand finds it’s way for this first time today onto his still standing cock.
“How about another round, hm?”
—— <3
a/n: … writing this shit made me so fucking horny. school is killing me i need a break. like i actually need his dick in my mouth i’m not kidding. fuckk
anw i haven’t posted in a hot sec but the people need to eat so here… (the people is ‘me’)
love yall, thanks for reading <3
#leon kennedy#leon kennedy x reader#smut#x reader#i need his dick in my mouth fr#resident evil#leon resident evil#re leon#leon kennedy smut#re2 leon#leon x reader#resident evil smut#re4 leon#leon smut
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Help Wanted 2: Lets Talk About Sun (Spoilers for Help Wanted 2!)
Okay,
I've had some time to digest Help Wanted 2. What a freaking roller coaster. I'm assuming you all have played/watched/seen Help Wanted 2, so be advised if you haven't seen everything we have access to so far, I'll be bringing it up.
One thing I'll say upfront is its nice to know Sun and Moon ARE older like I theorized. They're tied to the Fall Festival which took place in 1970 per one of the prize collector posters and the fact they deal with the carousel. I think Steel Wool also tried to point out and confirm Moon is patient zero for....I guess I should say Vanny's influence in the PizzaPlex. He's definitely the favorite to be pitted against us. I'm STILL losing my mind over the Princess Quest Ending.
So, the DCA fandom has been all across the board, ranging from "I love sassy Sun" to "Sun is SO mean. This ruins my headcannon." I don't think it really does. At least, it doesn't have to.
Our first encounter with Sun in front of us is Arts and Crafts. This minigame is located in the world we eventually learn is AR. We also are clearly a new FazBear hire. Sun is definitely sassy, and let's face it, VERY critical of what he defines as a mistake. BUT the flip side of that coin is he is still nice when you do the art correctly. He calls you friend, he wants to help you. If the player eats the crafts, he loses his mind. It's because he's worrying for the player due to the effects eating the crafts will have on them, ie: "That is how you get ulcers!". (By far, MY FAVORITE line of Sun's btw. Kellen stated that line and the indigestion line were both improved btw- genius.) He still doesn't want Moon to get you, he doesn't want to get in trouble. The one threat is after you've been hitting him several times and you've outright pissed him off. (I personally, think the "I should turn off the lights myself" was a drama king being a drama king.) Then we take the mask off. We see everything destroyed and Sun acts like the Sun we've always known. "I'm perfectly fine where I am. It's better this way. It's safer this way." "Keep the generator on. Without it I won't be able to help you." He's the same as he's always been. We've just seen a new layer.
What we ultimately have to come to terms with, is that Sun is a control freak and a perfectionist. He thinks he "has" to be. He doesn't want you to move from your craft table so he can watch you like a hawk. Do the job you are assigned. Get in, get out. Do the art HIS way, and follow HIS rules. If you don't, bad things can happen. Bad things HAVE happened. Another explanation could also be that maybe he isn't as free of the glitch trap virus as we thought? He can be sassy, he can be brutally honest, he can be concerned for us, for children, and his own darkness can rear its head, all at the same time.
Steel Wool could also be trying to slam into our faces that Sun is incomplete. He is one-half of a whole. He has good intentions, he means well at his core, but he cannot stop, regroup, and act rather than react. He gets stressed, and can't cope and adjust. Instead, he demands control back when he feels like he's about to lose it. Moon is calm, calculating, and logical. It's why they need to be whole and why Sun is so grateful to Cassie when she fixes them to become Eclipse. As Eclipse, they both find the parts of themselves they've so desperately needed.
#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf sun#fnaf dca#help wanted 2 spoilers#fnaf theory#sun and moon fnaf#fnaf sb#fnaf the daycare attendant#daycare attendent#sundrop#fnaf sundrop#fnaf eclipse
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pillow tpot headcanons (long ramble expanding on the ocd part under the cut)
ok so first warning: i am not a psychiatrist. this isnt a super educated essay on ocd, just me projecting my lived experience onto an object show character. this is just an observation. if i get something wrong feel free to correct me, ill add it here. (its also worth noting i am self diagnosed. not "quick google search" self dx though, ive gone over it with a therapist and everything)
and that leads into the second warning: this ramble will get a tad bit personal sorryyyy
and finally the third warning: i put she/it on the ref but im just using she/her for simplicity (+ i forgot LOL(
anyway so yeah i think that pillow has ocd and is basically the embodiment of "letting intrusive thoughts win" except like. actually. this headcanon didnt stem from the killing or the strange impulses though, i think she has it because of her fixation on good and bad luck in tpot 10.
for me it manifests in a few different ways. my main one is counting—i have good luck numbers and bad luck numbers. i need to take a specific number of snacks every time i have a bowl of them. i have to shake medicine bottles a certain amount of times before taking them. i am always counting the "syllables" of whatever im doing, and it always has to land on a multiple/factor of my lucky number. and if i break any of this, i (generally, if i cant convince myself its fine or if i dont notice) have to count to my lucky number otherwise something bad will happen. hell, i added more flags to this ref because the number of them was my unlucky number.
i have a few other things that affect it that are completely unrelated to counting, though. like a particularly bad one is that i straight up cant wear certain articles or clothing anymore because theyre bad luck. or my ungodly long night routine (which is probably more of an autism thing tbh. but certain parts of it are absolutely influenced by the ocd, like having to say goodnight to my dog).
that ^^ is what i saw in pillow. she was distraught that her team lost in 9, because not only did she think she was doing the challenge right, but killing people (bringing death) was good luck for her.
i think her killing people was a compulsion, and her whole thing in 10 was her scrambling to find a new one after that stopped working.
and before anyone tries to be all like "oh thats fucked up why would they portray ocd like that," one: i dont think this was on purpose this was just an observation, two: i mean..... fuck dude if i lived in a world where revival was incredibly accessible and one of my compulsions were to kill people, id do the same thing. death is fairly normal in bfdi, to the point everyone literally has a kill count on the fandom wiki (hers is 13 as of tpot 11 btw, a commonly unlucky number ironically enough. if she gets eliminated in 12 with an unlucky kill count thatd be so funny). once they get past the pain, its. really just an inconvenience to them.
when it comes to ocd, you. HAVE to do these things. its not a choice until you can get some outside help with it, and oftentimes its an inconvenience to those around you. i dont think its right for her to be going around killing her team, but when i get past the fact that is literally what made her my favorite, i get where shes coming from. shes trying to help in a way she "knows" will work.
or maybe shes just silly idk
#art#artists on tumblr#bfdi#bfb#tpot#battle for dream island#battle for bfdi#the power of two#pillow tpot#tpot pillow#bfdi pillow#pillow bfdi#bfb pillow#pillow bfb#bfdi tpot#object shows#object show community#soooo scared to post this
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You could drink your whole life away and still never get that taste out of your mouth.
half commission for @salempie half completely self indulgent dreck pieced together from our insane conversations abt franke and elka. told myself id finally write a big explanation for all of the dum shit between these two for context so Thats Under The Cut.
so I already wrote some stuff about elka and franke's relationship back in whispering rock so feel free to look at that too . it goes over elkas blindness/‘seeing’ with clairvoyance and how her and franke started talking & all that good stuff
SO FOR STARTERS. a lot of thsi wont make sense without a big breakdown of elka herself. because elkas potential as a character is like insane to me. like just the idea of her in the long run of her life reads as something so potentially tragic; a young girl whos plagued with visions of doom and destined to be an outcast even in her own home for things she cant control and clings to the One vision of her wedding that she thinks is 'happy' even despite the fact she doesnt really love the person in it. im choosing to take the li-po doc as canon here because its funny shes the only one with backstory-
but my fucking god even the smallest look into what her parents are like is soo fucked up to me. and i do think elka especially gets a lot of influence from her mother; its funny how easily you can fit mabel doom into a box just from what elka says about her. knees deep in an avon-esque pyramid scheme and leaning into her daughters depressing ass visions & taking her to therapy at age 11 (which would be good if not for the kind of person you can already assume she is & so i doubt the therapist she has really does her any good. i think they share one). she reads as a very I Am My Daughters Best Friend type of mom to me and i can see elka being a centerpiece of the conversation when she has her Amway Girls over for drinks. wine-mom that lets her kid sip from the glass so she can feel like a big girl type deal.
and you can tell that elka is trying to hard to be too mature for her age even in her campster posts. how she writes letters to nils' mom and exchanges baking recipes with her and that feels like she really only interacts with middle aged women and not really many people her own age outside of camp (like her moms friends). which makes sense shed feel the need to ‘grow up’ early when shes probably had to process so many hard things at a young age bc of her visions.
theres a lot of filling the blanks here of course.
elka obsesses over nils to an overbearing degree even despite the fact he treats her like shit ('you promised no talking' and so on) and she treats him bad right back. she leans onto stereotypical heterosexual ideals like taking care of him and overblowing how Manly and Protective JT is and she admires romance stories like pride and prejudice and it feels like she Projects Soooooooo much of what she wants onto boys she barely feels anything for without knowing what its actually supposed to feel like. and clearly she WANTS that ideal future, a happy marriage, an actual romance- but according to nils even when they were dating she ignored him most of the time, which just seems Very Telling
like shes filling a role, overcompensating for emotions and lacktherof she cant digest quite yet, and it only makes more sense when you know shes had visions of their future together. how could that be bad for her? shouldnt it be like the books and movies? but she doesnt really connect the fact that her visions are only for Doomed futures, and if she does she certainly doesnt show it. Doomed relationships. it's been a part of her family for generations and she isn't turning out much different, is she? i dont think she even realizes thats all she ever sees yet, just that its Going to happen. that it's Her future, and it always will be
and like, her only reference for a real marriage so far has been her own parents, and she already Knows they have an affair, and theyre doomed to split, (and i actually like to think they were in rough waters anyway and elka was a child meant to mend a crumbling marriage but thats a whole other thing) and so without a framework for what an actual healthy relationship is supposed to be like she cant really grasp that her relationship with nils Isnt that and isnt ever going to be. she can only cling to this one happy idea of the future, and thats why she keeps chasing him, self fulfilling the actuality of her situation and creating and fostering the unhappy life they will inevitably live together.
and that bleeds into everything else in her life, of course, because as the years go on, as the visions grow in number it just makes sense for her to fall into the predictability of her life. she always knows whats going to happen, her visions are Never wrong- so why try to change things? shes had time to process tragedies days, weeks, months, years before they happen, shes had time to settle into every crack of her life. her parents divorce, her various break ups, her future with the psychonauts.
“and she's already seen so much of a future with [nils] she feels trapped almost. Like she has to be happy in it or else it just means her life is miserable. And it's a mixture of pride and fear of the unknown that keeps her clinging to the One thing she knows. BUT LIKE!!! She knows what's gonna happen! It's easier to grieve when she's been grieving for years... She wants so badly to be happy, But to do that she has to step into the unfamiliar. And that's more terrifying than staying the same miserable person she's always been.”
and thats where franke comes in— and yeah you Do have to take a lot of liberties for frankes character since it’s basically, like, all the info for her is just that shes a Supreme Baby Dyke but thats enough for me. i think she has protective butch itch in her . on campster shes defensive over other women evidenced in the way she keeps watch over the girls cabins for lili when elton is pursuing her . but shes also eager to please and constantly trying to make kitty laugh and also Very naive. but she tries! and i think it only solidifies more as she gets Older and really gets a hold of her feelings & her powers. this is incredibly franke to me
and i think as they grow older together— because i think franke and elka Do stay friends, both because elka is just pathetic and needs that positive connection even if she doesnt realize it and because i think franke is a very Loyal person & annoyingly persistent if you let her be . and i am also a kitty/franke truther. because kittys also important in this web we weave
because i think franke and kitty stay together after camp, to a point— theres a falling out facilitated on kittys end and they break up, but reconnect, and franke kind of... saves kitty from herself a little, from her strict military father whos love only extends thru finances , from her own stifling future , she drives all the way to bakersville in her shitty van handmedowned from her dad and they move in together eventually . they get jobs at the motherlobe , because it’s a pipeline to a decent job, because it’s whats easy, because franke doesn’t really have a future, because she’s never really been good at much, because shes never had much sense, because franke doesnt really care as long as she can live and help, sometimes, if she can, and because kitty’s there, and because elka’s there, and shes so used to being elkas eyes now and shes good at it. shes good at being the muscle of the missions when her colleagues lack it, when hypnosis and predictions arent enough. she likes it that way.
and elka appreciates frankes company. she listens, shes sweet, she does little things for her that no ones ever really put the effort for before; she likes her. franke is strong and bold and makes her laugh and shes always there but god elka cant let go of that future, of that box shes put herself in, that her mothers put her in, of being a Good Wife to a Loving Husband, of getting married normally and falling into unfailing familiarity. thats all shes ever wanted and shes not going to jeopardize that . not for franke, who may not be a boy but is handsome like one, whos always held her after every break up with nils and the men that filled empty days inbetween.
and elka is too stubborn to recognize those feelings anyway. too prideful to accept a way out. too set in her cycle no matter how much she hates it, her little self fulfilling tragedy of her own making, wallowing in her own doom. she struggles for control of her own life when she feels like every choice has been made for her anyway, she puts up her walls and carefully constructs what people see. but franke was always harder to trick, because while empathy isnt a particularly useful psychic power it’s certainly an inconvenient one. all franke has to do is get too close and all those carefully crafted walls fall apart, and elkas control is gone, and thats all she really has. and she tries to distance herself, really she does, but franke is also too persistent. and elka wears gloves, keeps contact that would make her walls crumble from happening as best as she can, but she cant really keep herself from the brief moments where she feels like someone actually fucking cares about her.
and that slightest lack of control, the need to wrestle it back is why she proposes to nils the next time theres a falling out— she knows how it happens, she plans every detail. and he accepts, despite everything. gets her a cheap ring and it feels like lead on her finger and its nothing at all like how shed thought it to be when she was a kid, theres no feather light feeling in her chest, only that dreadful reality that she cant turn this back. BUT WHAT CAN U DO LMAO
elka doesnt tell franke about this engagement until later, on their way back from a mission. late at night when neither of them can sleep, and franke invites elka to smoke in her van, because its been so long since theyve been alone like that, because elkas been so strangely absent lately. and because of everything, because frankes always so damn nice, because elka hates the feel of the ring on her finger, because she let herself get high alone with franke fucking athens whos always been so good at pulling her apart— the truth of it all spills out and its messy and emotional and she hates it, she hates the life shes made for herself, but franke makes it easier to bare and now shes here and shes so close and god she wishes she could see her smile again, she wishes she could see franke, thats all she needs right now and she cant but she can touch her and she can hold her and for tonight, she can be known, she can let those walls crumble, she can be something else just for once here with franke . she can kiss her here in this van, touch that happiness for just a moment, and forget the future that waits for her outside of it. franke begs her to forget the wedding, to just let herself be happy— and god, she wants to, but it means turning her back on everything shes known and everything shes saw to be inevitable, and franke has never been in her future, so if it were supposed to work out why hadnt she seen it and she cant, she cant take that risk but she can have this, even if its temporary, she can have it.
and just as soon as she gets a taste of it, its gone. after that night, after the missions over and theyre back at the motherlobe and have to pretend like nothing happened (franke doesnt, of course she tells kitty about it, she tells kitty about everything.) but that brief moment together haunts elka every time she sees franke, sees herself through frankes eyes, sees herself in her wedding dress because god its all franke can think about! of course it is! she knows how much elkas destroying herself she knows how much misery shes wallowing in that kiss in the van felt like an emotional punch to the teeth and she hasnt ever forgotten it and all she can do is sit and watch while elka throws herself into a loveless marriage. she can come to her wedding and see the way the bride and groom kiss with the emotional weight of a wet towel no matter how hard elka tries to hide it under a pretty dress and bouquets of flowers and meticulous planning.
and elka resents nils but she cant really hate him, its not his fault, not really. he feels trapped just like she does and his feelings of misery only cycle back into hers . they fight and gnash and wear away at each other and its a relationship thats crashed and burned a million times before elka even said i do. and its inevitable that she falls into her mothers habits, a sip of wine here and there to loosen up, until it turns to a glass, until it falls into a bottle on nights when whatever work nils does runs late.
but franke’s still there. shes always been there, hasn’t she? always trying to play knight, always trying to save her, dragging her home when shes stumbling over herself because god who else is going to do it but her? who else is left to care? certainly not nils. never nils. because franke knows her. because franke pities her. shes always pitied her. shes always known. and elka hates it, she resents it, but god in the same breath she’s desperate for it, she envies it to her very bones. elka is a mess but after frankes done with her she has someone to go back to that loves her. and god what elka wouldnt do to have that. to take it and keep it for herself because shes never ever got to have that movie romance shes always wanted.
so now comes this.
because elkas particularly miserable and particularly spiteful and she needs to get franke to understand, just for a moment, drink with her and get on her level and she needs her there with her no matter how her pity makes her feel. no matter how much it makes her shake with anger and envy and desperation, but god the way franke looks at her, the way she still tries to salvage what they have, the soft, slurred way she tells her that it’s okay but its not okay, none of this is okay, it never has been and she just wants franke to shut up and see that, and if she cant then she’ll show her, she’ll show her all the raw angry desperation, with too much teeth and hands that claw and grab and she’ll know why everyones always said she’s too much.
and she knows this puts her on nils’ level too. that this makes her a cheater, that shes no better than he is now. no better than her father and his affair. but god, she wants to be selfish. she wants to be in control. just for once. she wants to feel right and she wants to feel happy and she wants to feel loved. thats all shes ever wanted. and franke will let her have that, just for a little while, at the very least.
anyway. sorry. sorry for being crazy . this isnt even getting into the shit after the comic takes place . elkas stupid brainworld thag she has to overcome in order to finally be allowed in the polycule and live happily ever as worlds first lesbian divorceman
sorry for all the shit i make up instead of caring about actual characters with screentime . bye !
#ive spent months on thsi stupid lesbian toxic yuri slow burn relationship so you all better clap or im blowing this building up#psychonauts#elka doom#franke athens#ill paint the town red
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Hehe yes let's cuck Mephisto with Luci too ~
I think he's planning a prank (or maybe sabotage?) with the anti Lucifer league and he doesn't quite get out of Lucifer's office fast enough when he hears the two of you coming. He scrambles into a closet right when you and Lucifer come in, too busy making out to notice the closet door slightly ajar.
Mephisto is disgusted at first. He can't look away, it's so horrible. He watches as you strip each other, Lucifer puts you on his desk. Your incessant moaning and his groaning...
Mephisto didn't really notice how intently he was watching, nor did he notice how hard he was until his cock throbbed at the erotic display... He palms himself, feeling dirty at enjoying such a thing but he's mesmerized and stuck in this closet anyway.
I'm so sorry I'm getting to this so late 😭 I ran to the notification when I first got it but I just could not find the spoons to respond
Godddd this whole thing is so 🥵🥵 I could not stop myself from making this into. Idk whatever this is, but anyway I need that man badly (and maybe need to make him suffer a little lmaoo)
[Nsfw obv, mdni. GN reader, voyeurism, implied cucking/getting caught at the end ehehe~]
At first, Mephisto is so disgusted by what's he's seeing. The two people he detests most— the angel traitor saved by his gracious Lord Diavolo, and the weak unworthy human representative of the exchange program— and you're locking lips like its your job, knocking into Lucifer's desk in your excitement. And of course you two would be drawn together, it's only expected that two unsavory types would be getting up to such indecent activities together. The wet noises of your mouths meeting and the way you're groping each other, it's perverse, Mephisto thinks.
He has half a mind to report you two to Lord Diavolo, what you're doing has to be a problem, right? Just thinking about it is titillating, as he remains hidden in the closet, not wanting to get caught and maybe get some good dirt on either of you. Maybe he'll get some kind of reward for alerting the Young Lord about these transgressions. In fact, maybe he'll even—
His thoughts are interrupted when you unleash a soft whimper, the sound sending shivers through his body and his heart pumping. He didn't even realize, you two had gotten partially undressed already while he was lost in thought, shirts pulled open and halfway off and Lucifer's hand disappearing beneath your waistband, the demon sucking on the side of your neck as his hand clearly worked you into a frenzy.
Suddenly it's like he can't tear his eyes away from his peeping spot in the closet, almost holding his breath just waiting for what happens next. Watching as Lucifer marks you up to satisfaction, his hand working a steady rhythm between your legs as you writhe against him, still making that delicious needy noise, before its clearly not enough for either of you. Before Mephisto can react, Lucifer has you set on his desk, tugging your bottoms down and off and working his own open just long enough to free his leaking cock, losing no time as he quickly enters you.
If Mephisto thought your prior noises were indecent, the moan you let out now is downright sinful. The noise of a rattling desk fills the air as Lucifer pumps into you, and whether it's by a miracle or a curse, Mephisto can see it all clearly. See the way you manage to fit Lucifer's cock, see the way you grasp onto the desk or onto Lucifer, whatever you can reach, as your face is twisted with pleasure. He couldn't quite make out Lucifer's face from his angle, but that was perhaps for the better.
Mephisto suddenly becomes all too aware of how tight his pants have become, a distinct need in his groin calling to him. Just the thought of stroking himself to you two is offensive, he tries to convince himself. But it's like his body can't control itself, his hand reaching down to relieve the ache anyway, not long before he's fisting his own leaking cock in time with Lucifer's thrusts into you. He can't even manage to tear his eyes away, eating up every little change in your expression and the things you respond best to.
He bites his knuckles trying to stay quiet, still trying to stay hidden until he can safely escape. But he's quickly lost to his own desires, imagining it's you he's fucking into. He'd show you how much more superior he is to Lucifer, show you what a true born-and-bred demon can do in bed. Lucifer could never compare, and he'd finally have you on your knees, begging for more, if he so wanted.
Just the thought of being the one to bring you to completion is enough to push him over the edge, hard, the climax catching him off guard. It's a miracle he manages to catch his spend in the palm of his glove before it can get on anything else. But what he fails to do is suppress the groan he makes as he cums, and his lusty haze clears quick in the following panic, looking to see if he'd been found out.
Thankfully, you'd all seemed to finish at the same time— he can't help but regret he hadn't seen your face as it happened— and you were clearly still recovering atop Lucifer's desk, the demon himself still buried deep inside you and his hips finally still. Mephisto instantly relaxes, thankful he wouldn't have to explain himself. He wasn't sure what he'd do if Lucifer of all people found out that, not only had Mephisto broken into his room, but was watching and masturbating to you two having sex like some kind of freak.
However, in his eagerness to relax, Mephisto missed the way Lucifer's lips quirked up, crimson eyes sparing the briefest glance in the direction of his closet.
#mephisto x reader#lucifer x reader#obey me lucifer#obey me mephistopheles#obey me smut#obey me shall we date#mephistopheles x reader#the minx can write ✍️#spicy minx 🔥#˗ˏˋ꒰ minx replies ꒱#i wanna ruin this man and ride him into the ground thank u for listening to my ted talk#cant believe i forgot who mc is fucking lmao
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤ エロチックトバー2024> MDNI / EXPLICIT CONTENT
BACK TREATMENT 🩺 TRAFALGAR LAW X M! READER KINKTOBER DAY 7: ANAL
🐙 requested by: Anonymous. Good morning/afternoon/evening :) I really LOVE your stories and I'm a bit shy when requesting. May I ask for trafalgar law as day 7? Maybe male!reader? I think it fits, haha. I also think he'd be extra careful but then again, when has that man been not cautious? Lol ⚠️ tw: mdni. explicit content. anal. "med play". kiiiinda size kink. 🐙 wc: 900 // kinktober 24 masterlist // join the taglist
“Please, be careful… I’m still pure” you stutter, eyes glimmering in anticipation and a little bit of fear.
“Did I ever hurt you, (Name)-ya?” Dr. Law whispers, right in your ear.
His voice, deep, raspy, sexy and deadly makes you shiver. But it is him on your back, bent over you, what is killing you.
On all fours you wait for him, dripping arousal juices on the examining table of his office. Hard, twitching, throbbing.
Law’s index tracing a path from your nape to the small of your back, and from there down your rear entrance.
“So that it doesn’t hurt, I’ll use this special liquid… it might be a little cold” he informs, drizzling an icy string of lube to your ass that he will smear very well.
You shiver, you tremble… so delicious, those “deadly” fingers relax your muscles as much as they make you so tense and hard.
“Relax, please” he orders once again, planting a soft kiss in between your shoulder blades.
“Ye-yes…ngh!” you answer back, jolting when the first intrusion reaches your spot. Sliding his index inside you, he just let it go as far as you can take.
Law smirks and chuckles sexily; to see you slowly dancing with your hips, perhaps involuntarily trying to get him to go deeper, makes him incredibly proud and aroused… so hard his jeans become uncomfortable to wear.
The surgeon properly evaluates the way you begin opening to him as one finger becomes not enough, and it is not as tight around it as it was before.
“Ready for another one, mh?” he asks, once again in your ear from behind. The white coat sides tickle your legs, his crotch still covered by his jeans graze your buttocks.
“Please…” you plead, so sure you are ready for his sex instead of his inked fingers. Yet, Dr. Trafalgar knows best, and he is going slow with his delightful torture.
A little bit more of lube in between his fingers and your entrance allows him to easily slide two fingers in; this time you don’t feel pain but just a slight pressure that makes you bite your lip as well as moan louder.
“Sh, (Name)-ya… you don’t want the whole hospital listening to your whimpers, don’t you? what will the patients waiting outside think?” he scoffs, going faster in and out of you with index and middle finger.
There is no doubt, you were ready to take him for real this time.
Law slowly takes his fingers off you and passes his free hand under your chin until your neck, pulling your head back so that you can take a look at his sinful stare.
His smirk grows bigger, and the dark circles fuelled by Red Bull are a delicious thing to look at while he lowers the zipper of his jeans.
“Will you fuck me now, Dr. Law?” you ask, swallowing with difficulty as his tattooed hand squeezes your carotids more and more.
“Of course I will, you look so delicious from behind… I am dying to bury myself into your tiny hole…”
You gasp, but it is too late to even say anything. You are pleased for that last breathe of air, as now you can’t even do that. Law has slid himself into you, as you swallow with tight, milking walls. A tiny space that has allowed that deadly sexy doctor to finally intrude your purity.
And it is not cold, it is warm… even hot. The in and out increasing its rhythm, making your inner thighs to spasm, to fail to contain the weight of your body. But that’s not a worry Law even needs to have, as his tattooed arm passes under your belly to hold you up for him to fuck you faster and harder.
Ramming into you with no mercy, taking you to the verge of explosion. The puddle of precum formed underneath you has began to tickle down and into the floor… oh, what a messy boy you are.
Law lets his body to fall upon your back, as his arms hug you around your waist and his chin rests on the crook of your neck. The pleasure has started to weaken him as much as it did to you, and the panting in your ear was exactly what you needed to finally reach climax.
You finish quivering underneath him, like a little prey that shakes in fear under a beast. Law notices it around his sex, as your rear entrance squeezes his hardness with violence, it seems as you don’t want him to go for as long as he can stay inside you.
Him, rapidly, grabs your sex in between his fingers while one of his arms are still snaked around your waist. He is enjoying both the way you get tinier around his dick, and also how the tip of it protrudes on your lower belly every time he rams into you.
Law enjoys pumping your dick to obtain every last drop of your release in between of his fingers, a stickiness he doesn’t mind feeling. And as he does, he lets himself finish as well.
Sprouts you can feel of warm relief fill your belly, full, so full you are sure that you could overflow…
“Good boy taking in all the treatment” “Tha- thank you, Dr. Trafalgar…”
Bet going to the doctor never felt so good ~
Taglist of amazing babes: @terrabear2003 @eyes-ofhell @votaeto @cokou @seoul-is-a-dream @tinydonkeysforlife @appalost @themessedupsonata @adamsfanficstash @ariesbbytings @animesnowstorm @lenablack9919 @anothersoulless 💖🍓
#kinktober 24#kinktober 2024#kinktober#trafalgar law#trafalgar law headcanons#trafalgar law x reader#trafalgar law x you#trafalgar law scenarios#law headcanons#trafalgar law smut#law smut#law one piece#law scenarios#law x reader#trafalgar law x y/n#law x you#law x y/n#law imagine#one piece smut#one piece x reader#one piece x reader smut#heart pirates law#law#one piece x you#op smut#op x reader#op scenario#op imagines#op law#law op
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20 for supercorp please?
Prompt: “Are you already dating someone new?”
“Supergirl!” The reporter yelled, pulling the hero’s attention away from greeting the crowd after stopping a getaway car. “Are you already dating someone new?”
Kara frowned, eyebrows shooting up in surprise, “Am I… what?”
And that was all the opening the reporter needed, Kara had engaged and was locked in.
“You were seen out on the town with Diana Prince only last week, the two of you were engaged in a close conversation.”
“That… I… we… uh…” Kara stammered, her blush the irrefutable proof the reporter needed.
“And then last night you were seen with James Olsen on a date clearly set up by Superman.”
“What? Superman had nothing to do with it. When I dated James I did it all by myself. But we’re not-“
“Dated? You’ve had a previous relationship? Exes rekindling the romance? Diana Prince merely used to rouse jealousy in your once lover? Who knew Supergirl was such a heartbreaker?”
“That was a lot of questions and none of them point to the truth.” Kara huffed.
“So James was just another in a long line, hmm?”
“I didn’t say that-“
“Who will Supergirl date next? Her identity and libido now revealed and free to conquer the city,” The reporter turned to fully face the camera, completely ignoring Kara’s outrage in the background as he pointed down the lens, “maybe it could be you?”
xxx
“Watch out, everyone! Supergirl’s raging libido is on the loose!” Nia called out as Kara landed on the Tower’s balcony looking awfully put out - bottom lip stuck out petulantly.
“Eww, please don’t talk about my sister’s libido.” Alex grimaced, glancing up from the monitor she was studying with Kelly. Esme was spending the day with J’onn, giving the parents a chance to catch up on some odd tasks at the Tower before going on a date. Lena and Brainy were fiddling with some tech components on a workbench in the corner of the room.
“Sorry, Alex but the whole city is talking about it, who knows who will be next?” Nia singsonged, looking far too pleased with herself.
“I shouldn’t have engaged…” Kara groaned, banging her head lightly against a wall.
“Yup!” Nia agreed, “But you did! Cat Grant is furious!”
“Ugh…” Kara slouched, sinking to the floor.
“Nia, I think she’s suffered enough.” Lena said, approaching quietly.
Nia pouted, patting Kara’s shoulder amicably before skipping away, her and Brainy departing together to go on their regular lunch date.
“How are you holding up, heartbreaker?” Lena teased, holding out a hand to help Kara up.
“Not you too.” Kara whined, accepting the hand offered her merely to link their hands together - palms brushing and fingers interlocking - using her own abilities to hover back onto her feet. “You know this is all your fault, right?”
Lena quirked an eyebrow, “How do you figure that?”
“No smoke without fire.” Kara replied confidently, swinging their joined hands back and forth. “I have an aura.”
Lena’s gaze narrowed as she repeated slowly, “An aura?”
“Yep.” Kara popped the word, smile growing into a grin. “A happily dating aura.”
Lena smirked, “Are you sure it’s not a recently fu-“
“NOPE! Nuh uh!” Alex shouted, fingers swiftly plugging ears. “Not listening! Kelly let’s go!”
Kelly shook her head in fond amusement of her wife, “Bye guys!”
Alex bolted for the exit, Kelly following more sedately behind.
“You did that on purpose.” Kara accused.
Lena placed a hand over her chest in mock offence. “Not everything can be my fault.” She followed this up with a shrug, “Admittedly I definitely did that on purpose and will gladly take accountability for Supergirl’s raging libido.”
Kara rolled her eyes, tugging Lena closer and pressing a kiss to her cheek.
“You know there’s no substance to the rumours, right? I only have eyes for you.” Kara reassured, gently checking in. This thing between them was still new, still finding its feet and Kara wanted to keep it safe and sheltered for as long as possible.
“I know, my love.” Lena affirmed, hand reaching out to comb through Kara’s hair. “It’s gossip mongering, I’ve suffered my fair share.”
“I don’t like adding to it.” Kara pouted, leaning into Lena’s tender care.
“You add so much more joy and love to counterbalance it. I knew what I was getting into dating Supergirl.”
“Still…”
“I can handle your raging libido, my love.”
“That’s going to stick isn’t it?”
“Afraid so; Cat has said it is to be your punishment.” Lena explained with a light chuckle. “She trained you to know better than to engage.”
“I know…” Kara grumbled, leaning forward to rest her forehead on Lena’s shoulder.
“I have a suggestion of how to get back in her good graces…”
“Oh?” Kara hummed, turning her head to gently kiss Lena’s neck.
“We offer her the bigger story to share.” Lena offered, voice quiet and shy.
Kara slowly pulled back, brow furrowed, “Bigger story?”
Lena nodded, “Well, I hope a Super and Luthor relationship would be bigger than your libido but who knows?”
Kara blinked, “You want to go public?”
“Only if you want to. And I view it less as going public and more as…” Lena hesitated, “setting the record straight.”
“I didn’t think the dating rumours bothered you?”
“They don’t.” Lena said. “It’s the lack of rumours that bothers me.”
“The lack?”
“I spent so long thinking that there was never going to be more between us, that our relationship was always destined to be platonic - which I was more than happy with but…” Lena looked away, cheeks tinting with embarrassment, “seeing how I am always the best friend in the news… It reminds me of that time. I don’t want to be in that box anymore. I don’t want us to be.”
“Hey, we’re not.” Kara promised, pressing kisses to Lena’s cheeks which only made the light pink flush deepen to sunset red. “You were never in that box.”
“I know that now.” Lena murmured, head tilting to catch Kara’s lips in a sweet kiss.
Kara rocked back, smile dreamy and dazed, “I’ll call Cat.” Kara declared. “Let her know my raging libido has found its next and final target.”
“Final, huh?”
“Final.” Kara said sincerely.
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so guess what they released more interviews and i think given what a writing shitshow totk was and what they have been saying in all these interviews is actually painting a really bad picture; i dont have the time, nor the energy to go over every detail
but they were commenting on people wanting the more linear format back and aonuma himself basically said that he thinks people who feel like that do so only bc of nostalgia and "Why do you want to go back to a type of game where you're more limited or more restricted in the types of things or ways you can play?"
what .. the fuck, more freedom DOESNT automatically mean better??? like ... restriction can be a GOOD thing just as tooo much freedom can be BAD?? like in totk??? are you fukcing shitting me- what the hell are games even for then, has he had an awakening to the fact that he actually just loves sandbox games without realizing it???? im not playing fucking zelda for a sandbox, especially not when its advertised as a somethign else
its pretty clear that they want to keep this format going with everything they say there, ... maybe it really is over huh
also i hate how they kept talking around answering anything about story/lore; they go asked how ganondorf even connects to ganon since theres nothign about it in game, and all they got out was welllll we dont wanna say anything bc its up to the player; about every question you got the answer of "make somethign up yourself" which is just ... its really clear they dont actually care but dont want to say everything is meaningless actually, so they try to be vague about it and with doing that really just confirm they didnt think about it and they dont care- so no lore actually matters, nothing thats been said or established has any meaning bc they will get rid of it the second it crosses paths with their new -more freedom equals better- philosophy, they say its bc they want you to be "free" to think up anything but apparently dont realize that when there are no rules, no consistent lore or anything that it ROBS it, it stops having meaning, its fun to connect dots only when there are rules you need to work with and dots to connect in the first place, when you have an established world with its restrictions it drives you to think more creatively about things- but when there are no rules?? its fucking boring!! thats what it is!!
when you discard all rules i wont care to get invested into anything bc i know it will not be considered again, be done away with without any reason and wont have influence on coming or previous games ... bc there are no rules, anything is possible and everything can be changed any second, so nothing matters
(they also talked about the many viral videos of those very few dedicated people that make godzilla mechs in totk and how happy they are about that- i get that to some extent, but the way they kept talkign about it really just felt like it confirmed my suspicion that that whole mechanic was mainly implemented to let people do that since that gets shared around en masse making it seem like that is why people enjoy it while neither the game nor the narrative are build around it in any way ..)
it just makes all the time i spend thinking, feeling and theorizing about zelda like a true waste of time, bc nothing matters and there are no rules-
i am someone who greatly enjoys working with and around established lore/rules, its fun to me to recontextulize things by being smart or creative with it all without breaking anything or as little as possible of the established things!
if i wanted to do just do anything i want I COULD HAVE ALREADY DONE THAT bc theres nothing actually stopping anyone to just make up what they want! i DONT need canon to lose all rules for that??!!
maybe ill have to make myself believe the franchise ended with botw on a good note ... ono
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#totk#ganondoodles rants#sorry for sounding so agressive about this#but its making me so mad#also someone said to me that they literally admitted to not have an actual writer for totk???#(or someone that has no connection to anything zelda before this??)#which i couldnt find myself but#it would make so much sense if true#like ... yeah if there werent any people dedicated for the narrative and it was jsut cool looking moment tacked on cool looking moment#or someone that has no idea of anything of the past ... including botw ... yeah .. yeah it does feel like that#it makes me so sad#and also like i have to come to terms with this franchise being practically dead to me now#just when i was about to start working on chapter 2#can they please stop doing interviews when all they do is fuck it up more#(*  ̄︿ ̄)
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This is a wild Elucien headcanon…
but please imagine Lucien being in a really dangerous situation with the Autumn court, like something happened and they have him as a prisoner, or unable to leave.
And Elain is there listening to how Lucien could potentially be held captive in a cold cell or even tortured.
And shes there when Eris says the only way to save him is if he has real ties to the Night Court or if he officially becomes a member, and the only way to do that is if he gets mated/married to someone from there, not anyone, but the High Lady’s sister.
And everyone is outraged with what he is suggesting but Elain is suddenly quiet.
And she suddenly says “I will do it” and everyone gapes at her, some try to talk her out of it (possibly Feyre or Nesta) but Rhys just nods.
And they send notice to the Autumn court that they cannot harm Lucien because he is a Night Court citizen, but Beron doesn’t believe it, he demands that Elain goes there so he can determine it.
Chaos, outrage, but she agrees, and she obviously doesn’t go alone. She convinces herself that while she doesn’t owe Lucien anything, she is tired of the bloodshed, the loss, and if she has the power in her hands, she will act. That is all, she couldn’t care less about him. She convinces herself she would be this worried for anyone that is close to her sister, it’s not because shes worried and scared and petrified of something bad happening to him.
They’re in the Forest House, they bring out Lucien who is luckily generally unharmed but Elain looks at the binds in his wrists and her whole body reacts to the sudden urge to protect. Beron takes one sniff at them and knows it is true. They’re mates. But Beron says an unfulfilled mating bond is not valid (listen idk about these fae laws bear with me) they need to marry. Elain declares that was the plan all along. Lucien is shocked. (I just imagine what must be going through his head seeing his mate stand before Beron in the same room where Jesminda was killed)
They let Lucien go with his mate but they have to stay in the Forest House until everything gets resolved. Elain and Lucien are shoved into a room, no more chains on him, but he doesn’t understand any of it.
Both of them are standing awkwardly in the room. Lucien is staring at her as if she has grown ears, still shocked, still reliving moments, furious at them for being so dumb as to risk themselves for him. He supposed he really was a big asset for Rhys to have done this. But her… why was she here? Why did she put herself in this position?
“Did they make you do this?” He says through his teeth.
She muses on what to say. “No” she gets offended with the assumption that she can’t make decisions for herself. “I agreed to this and came on my own free will”
“Why would you do such a thing?”
“Because I’m tired of people dying, I wouldn’t forgive myself if I could have done something” A silence and for some forsaken reason Elain has the need to add. “This doesn’t mean what you think it means”
Something irks at Lucien then, and the awoken nerves on his body make him respond to that. “And please tell, Lady, what do I think it means?”
Elain clenches her fists. “That I’ve changed my mind about you… about this” She signals between them. “This is just temporary, out of necessity”
Lucien just stares at her.
“I never entertained that you did, I can assure you.” It is easier to turn on her, on this beautiful female that is putting herself at risk for him, than to be hurt at the continuing rejection from her. “You’ve always just assumed that I’m some brute fae that wants to steal you away, let me tell you now that we’re speaking frankly, that its not the case. I can’t control the pull from the bond, but I have no interest in pursuing a female who doesn’t want me”
That sends Elain to retaliate. “What about the gifts then, was that not pursuing?” She cocks her head arrogantly.
“I was bringing them to Feyre as well. That was me being polite, but guess you don’t know the first thing about that”
“You are one to talk about politeness when I’m here risking my life for your neck and this is how you treat me” She takes one step closer.
“I never asked you to do it” He mirrors her and steps closer with his broad hands clenched in fists.
“I will just let you die next time then”
“Fine by me, as long as I don’t have to endure you shoving it on my face”
“Asshole”
“I’ve been called worse” A sly, angry smile creeps at one corner of his mouth. She suddenly realizes they’re breathing on each other’s face.
“And all this time I thought you were a gentleman” She summons her anger to keep focused.
“You will learn I can be a gentleman, Elain” Her name on his lips, for the first time. “But I can be so much worse too”
His breath is hot on her face, their hearts already beating fast.
“You admit you were pretending then, to win me over”
A sharp breathy laugh from him. “If I wanted to win you over, I would not have tried to be gentle”
Her lips form a thin line as she holds herself, the pull, his words, the sudden effect of his mismatched gaze intense on her face.
“You shouldn’t have done this” He says quietly, roughly, his eyes showing something beyond just annoyance, she sees the fear in them. She pushes it back.
“What’s done is done” She says. “We will pretend, see this through, and then we’re done”
“Alright, dove”
She’s startled. Her nostrils flare. She ignores the outrageous pet name he just used on her. “I’m going to take a bath, I suggest you do the same, you stink” She begins to walk away and stops herself “I mean after I’m done” She frowns as she strolls away.
He watches her with sudden amusement.
He’s scared, hes pissed and hurt. He’s tired. But something inside him sparks, and he can’t really put a name to it.
Oh he’s not alright.
#guys im not a writer but I had to put this out there#if youre a writer PLEASE TAKE THIS I NEED IT#elucien#pro elucien#marriage of convenience#the best trope im sorry#pro lucien vanserra#lucien vanserra#elain archeron#elain x lucien#autumn court drama#elucien headcanon#elucien one shot#elain and lucien banter will EAT
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