#its a type of Disassociation

[mercutiotakethewheel]

Kendra, inwardly: Omg I am so scared right now. I’m going to die here. This freakyass magical creatures about to do me in. And could do so easily, which I am imagining very vividly right now. Those are huge teeth. I am fighting god to hold it together right now. I don’t want to die. Why am I here? Just to suffer, every night I close my eyes and—

Kendra, outwardly: I cast vicious mockery.

[signanothername]

Hiiii! First, I just want to say I love your art so much, honestly, it's the best fanart of these characters I've seen!

But I have a question, because I was just looking at your art of Nightmare and Killer. And whenever you draw them together, they’re often really touchy with each other??.

I’m not sure how to phrase it right, but for example, Nightmare seems to touch Killer’s face a lot or wrap a tentacle around him. And Killer also sometimes just holds him or in that one piece of art, rests his head on Nightmare’s head. It just shocked me a little because I would think Nightmare doesn't like people touching him or vice versa.

Am I overthinking this or something? But yeah love you art bye!!

Hello!! Awww thank you smmm!!! <333333

And I’m glad you noticed >:))))

Cause you’re absolutely right, I draw them super touchy with each other

And I do that for different reasons depending on each of the two of them

Killer (especially in stage 2) tends to be a bit touchy and has zero regard for personal space, and that’s cause Stage 2 is usually completely disassociated from the world around him and from his own body, and with his inability to feel emotions there’s nothing to truly ground him and tell him that what’s happening around him is actually happening

So how does Killer deal with his inability to tell what’s real and happening in the present and what’s not? By either pain, or touching anything/anyone, he would touch whoever’s in his vicinity, regardless of who they are

Nightmare is literally his boss and master? Fuck it he needs to tell whether Nightmare’s really there or not, feeling Nightmare’s negative aura isn’t enough

That of course doesn’t mean Killer doesn’t have his own boundaries with touch, it differs from stage to stage, but regardless of which stage he’s in, and despite stage 2’s tendency to touch people, he still keeps his hands to himself most of the time actually

Nightmare on the other hand, is definitely the type of person who doesn’t want to be touched, in fact I mentioned before that Nightmare is autistic af and has an aversion to touch if he isn’t the one to initiate it, it makes his nonexistent skin crawl when he’s touched without permission, he’s fine with touching people if he was the one to do it, but if it’s vise versa and someone else touches him he’d probably be resisting the urge to kill them (he can be semi-fine if he knows it’s coming)

But the thing is with Nightmare is that he’s masking his autism like crazy, so whenever he’s touched by anyone he pretends it doesn’t bother him, there are times in which he tells whoever’s touching him to back off, but only if it reaches extremely uncomfortable levels for him, otherwise he’d just keep it to himself

The only one who Nightmare is ok with their touch most of the time, but he still prefers to at the very least know it’s coming is Dream

So whenever you see Killer touching Nightmare first, believe me when i say Nightmare is resisting the urge to kill him vhhchchvvh

But the thing is, Nightmare is definitely super touchy with Killer, as in, Nightmare initiates the touch most the time actually, why? Cause Nightmare’s a bitch and he uses touch as some sort of fucked up form of control cause he’s a possessive freak

You’d see him holding Killer’s face, having a tentacle around him, etc, as some sort of fucked up message not only to the people around him, but to Killer himself that he’s his little toy, his little perfect killing machine

Nightmare can be a bit dehumanizing towards Killer at times, not thinking of him as a person but rather a machine that’s supposed to do its job whenever he wanted, and he uses touch to condition Killer and sometimes even as a “reminder” of who’s in control in their fucked up relationship

Basically ignoring any boundaries Killer has and invading his space like Killer does, but instead of doing so out of necessity, he does it to send a very direct message that he can do whatever he wishes any time he pleases and Killer wouldn’t be able to stop it

That of course doesn’t mean he only does this fucked up shit with Killer, he also does it with Horror and Murder, just not to the same extent he does with Killer cause they aren’t as “interesting” to him as Killer is, Killer was always his favorite killing machine after all

(You have zero idea how thankful Horror and Murder are for not being as “interesting” chcchchhc)

[mistyresolve]

| This Isn't Normal - Simon “Ghost” Riley X Reader

Word Count - 560

Summary - Simon Riley believed himself to have moved past the anger issues. He never thought he'd have an outburst again, least of all have it directed towards you.

Tags/Warnings - Trigger Warning! Abuse, untreated anger issues, yelling, established relationships (ending of said relationship), angst, disassociation.

A/N - As some may know Simon canonically had anger management issues and I'd like to think my baby girl version of him would NEVER act like the Simon in this one shot. I would also everyone to know that this type of relationship is not healthy and if you find yourself in a similar situation please seek help. Everyone deserves love and respect.

Masterlist  ❤︎   

It was nights like these where Simon truly wished he was anyone else, where he could step out of his own skin and turn away from himself. The nights that were made silent by his shouts and outcries of anger. He hated the putrid rage that seeped from his pores, how his fury rushed through his veins like fire. Yet, he couldn’t stop himself. He couldn’t control himself. His mouth had grown a mind of its own and words had left his lips before they were a fully formed thought. 

At some point, he’d stopped seeing. His vision of blur of colours and shapes. His perception of his surroundings was made skewed by the overwhelming disgust toward himself. He couldn’t remember what even started this fight. 

He was sure whatever it was wasn’t deserving of this reaction. 

But he couldn’t stop. 

You had long since stopped responding. Your eyes glazed over as you stared off into the distance, your mind undoubtedly protecting itself from the onslaught of his anger. You didn’t even try to defend yourself. 

He would never understand why you didn’t just get up and walk away from him. He didn’t understand why you didn’t lock the bedroom door behind you and call the cops on him. 

He has never and would never hit you. He never got violent like that. Never punched walls or threw glasses but he yelled. He spewed hatred like it was a sport when he was triggered. 

He thought he was doing better. It had been nearly a year since his last outburst. Or his first outburst with you, depending on how you wanted to look at it. He had promised you it would never happen again.      

A memory flashed before his eyes and he froze, his eyes widening his shock. His father's face, red from yelling at him and his mother, seared into him. The air was sucked out of his lungs and his mouth snapped shut. 

The silence in the room was deafening, and his ears rang from it. He backed away from you, biting hard into his fisted hand. 

Finally, your eyes shifted to his, emotionless, and his heart shattered. What was he doing to you? He was once again sick with himself. 

You took the pause in his attack as your time to leave. You stood from the couch and walked out of the living room. 

Several hours later he found you on the back balcony, leaning on the banister with a very full glass beside you. 

He opened the door to the balcony, stepped outside and leaned on the banister a few feet beside you.   

“I think you should leave me,” He murmured into the cold air, his breath curling in front of him, “I know,” he corrected himself, “I know you should leave me.” 

You turned to face him, your cheeks blushed from the cool air. Your eyes searched his face, before looking back out the skyline. You remained silent for a while before saying, “You need to get help…This isn’t normal.”  

He nodded, “Yeah. I do,” he had gone to therapy and gotten treatment for his anger before, and had thought he’d moved past this. 

“I think you should find a place to stay for the night. Maybe even the week,” you took a sip of your wine. 

He bowed his head between his arms, his chest tightening, “I do too.” 

[saturnniidae]

Oh! Also I had a night in the woods au. Dropping out of college due to a mental breakdown and having to come back to your shitty little home town and reconnecting with childhood friends (one of which may or may not loathe you for, in their eyes, squandering your chance of getting out of this shithole while theyve never had any option but to stay) and strained parental relationships all while slowly uncovering a dark town mystery seems very on brand for Hiccup & friends imo

Rotbtd AU ideas I think low-key go hard but I'm working on other stuff so I can't explore them (ranked by how much I've thought abt them)

Small town horror au

Modern au (with a side of Hiccup having unsettling ability to communicate with the local wildlife better than any normal person should)

Xmen mutants au

Wakfu au

Pokemon trainer au

Infinity Train au

Nge au

Vld au

Peer gynt (inspired) au

Mako mermaids au (mako mermaids is fire you just don't understand)

[nortsauce]

I’m gonna ask a bunch of narumistu shippers this but how do you think Iris would react seeing that happen? Also how would your dream Narumitsu wedding play out, and would pearl be invited? I just have so many questions! I also love your art!❤️❤️❤️

HELLO!!! First of all THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENT you make me blush 💝

Now onto the questions. Y’all know i love to talk and answer these types of questions.

1) Iris.

I love iris and I believe that she truly wants to see Phoenix happy, and Phoenix views her as someone important to his life.

Phoenix was willing to swallow glass for her (and dahlia) and it’s hard to find someone that devoted to you. But i think they both realized that their time has passed.

Iris still holds her late sister in high regards despite everything she’s done, and Phoenix has grown up since college and become a more honest person. They both know that it wouldn’t work. Their directions in life have changed and Iris needs to do whats good for her and take some time to heal, and Phoenix needs to do what’s best for him and distance himself from the necklace incident as much as possible. But you know that will be harder to do and they still visit eachother as friends. Perhaps locked in a “in another life, perhaps”

I think Iris would be happy for Phoenix, and possibly even find a friend in Miles considering they have similar feelings of guilt. Maybe they accidentally run into eachother at group therapy and share stories!!!

NOW. ONTO THE WEDDING.

I truly and deeply believe in my heart that their wedding goes TERRIBLY.

First off, the proposal happens and Phoenix wants to propose but he keeps losing the ring due to hijinx and murder. He fears that miles is gonna get to it first, or possibly not even want to marry in the first place, but what he DOESN’T KNOW is that Miles has been TRYING to propose for SO LONG but hijinx keep interrupting him and he loses his nerve.

When they finally propose, it goes as swimmingly as you expect. Literally. They propose at the same time just exasperatedly finally and they drop their rings into a lake, only for our national hero LARRY BUTZ to jump out of the bushes where he was filming and grab both of the rings in mid air as he falls into the lake splashing them all with water.

Onto the wedding. Maya, Pearls, Franziska and Trucy create the worst team of wedding planners known to man. They all have different things set in mind. Where Maya wants to wing it, Franziska plans to perfection. Where Trucy wants to put a gag, Pearl insists on pure romance. Things get heated and it falls apart when they all separate to plan different parts of the wedding and it looks AWFUL. It ends with the venue being set on fire. The dream team then panic and have a breakdown, only for them to say “We’ve been doing this wrong. What would they want?”

They set up a beautiful venue outside, big enough to fit all of their found family. Its either near the courthouse or the gate-water hotel something sentimental and it’s almost perfect 💝

Now the ceremony goes, oh you guessed it: TERRIBLY.

Miles has worked himself into a state of pure anxiety and Phoenix has disassociated. They both can’t believe that this is actually happening. Larry is Phoenix’s best man and Gumshoe is Miles’s.

oh yeah and Kay is was Mile’s bridesmaid and Maya was Phoenix’s because they had both a best man and a bridesmaid.

I’d imagine Larry and Gumshoe go through the same exact thing that Max and Pascal went through from that one Tangled short where Eugene and Rapunzel are getting married but i can’t describe that here without just explaining the whole short so just go watch it here and imagine Gumshoe and Larry.

Anyways, the reception goes on even after “the ring fiasco 2, electric boogaloo” and then the power goes out before the ceremony completes. Screams are heard and the lights come on, and the Vicar is lying dead on the ground.

IT’S TIME FOR AN INVESTIGATION where EVERYTHING GOES AWRY. But luckily they got the best Legal and Detective minds this side of Japanifornia! So Apollo Trucy and Athena immediately hop into action. Miles and Phoenix are discussing what they saw in handcuffs, Maya and Pearl are attempting to channel anyone they can but nothing is working(?) Franziska is attempting to keep everyone in order so she can investigate and question, Gumshoe has the police force looking into it, Klavier and Blackquill are taking statements in a church confessional, Ema is taking samples, and all around it is a DISASTER: BUT

They realize after this fact that they have NEVER solved a case this fast ever.

(Turns out the Vicar had mafia connections and ex members of the clergy were planning to turn the church into a gang front but the priest wouldn't let them but took them in as his children regardless and a rival gang was involved it was a whole thing thats a story for another ask though.)

Anyways the whole thing had them thinking about all working together more often than not, and not only was a marriage planned, but more unions were planned and they had gathered new recruits to help change the law system of their country.

and then Phoenix and Miles kissed and they lived happily ever after.

All in all a disaster but it wouldn’t have gone any other way (:

[writing-for-life]

I’m running a Sandman blog. As such, I feel I can’t not say anything, but I’ll make this short (for me):

I believe victims. I work with them almost every day. My trust in the legal system on these matters is therefore also limited and a complicated affair. I unequivocally believe that the sexual assault allegations against Neil Gaiman are true. Having said this, I will withhold further commentary as the situation unfolds, because it’s too complex.

I also believe that stories have meaning to us that goes beyond their creators, and that meaning doesn’t suddenly fall away because of their creators’ actions, although it can, and that’s also okay.

Our feelings are allowed to be complicated, and no one deserves any type of harassment because they still love a story while simultaneously grappling with feelings of anger, disgust or simply sadness towards or about its creator. Neither does anyone deserve any hard feelings because they decide they don’t want to engage anymore.

Our feelings are our own, and we don’t have to justify them to anyone.

Fandoms exist because of story and community. And those stories and communities don’t suddenly stop existing, so I hope we can remember to treat each other with respect and empathy moving on from here.

Edit:

On a more constructive note, and also speaking as someone with both personal and continuous secondhand experience of SA who already sees the damage caused by unreflective knee-jerk posting on here:

You don’t have to make repeated public statements to disassociate yourself from works. Once is enough if you feel you have something to communicate to your followers. Not at all is enough, too. Simply do what you need to do. It’s enough if you know what you stand for, and to act accordingly.

Get your information from original sources, not “summaries” and hearsay on Tumblr. The amount of misinformation, both accidental and malicious, I have seen on here is shocking. All podcasts are freely available with transcripts. Stop believing the people who tell you otherwise, because they either don’t know what they’re talking about, or they aim to control the discussion for their own agenda. If you want to partake in discussion, get info from the source, because that’s truly something you owe to the victims. Otherwise, consider to withhold your opinions. We don’t have to add to the noise, there’s enough of it already, and it somewhat disqualifies itself if it adds its own agenda: This is not about LGBTQ+ issues or whether you deem an outlet trustworthy (it’s about the victims). It is not about your own opinions about kink (it’s about the victims). It is not about your disabilities or struggles that render you “unable to listen or read”. It is about the victims, not about you. So consider to stop centering yourself.

You are not a bad person for enjoying the work of a person who did wrong, neither does condemning them automatically make you a good person. How you behave towards your fellow human beings does. So if you feel tempted to judge, or even harass, other people for their love of a piece of media, take a breath first. Because in that moment, it has stopped being about the victims—it has become about centering yourself as righteous.

Don’t read into works, but don’t pretend they exist in a vacuum either. We can’t truly separate the art from the artist, but we can (re)assign meaning unique to us. The moment you interpret a piece of art, it reflects you. It will mirror back your feelings and worldview. If all you feel while engaging is negative, it is time to disengage. There is enough art in the world you can enjoy. But don’t judge those who still find meaning even if you don’t.

Take action in the real world, and step back from online discourse. Put your money where your mouth is, donate to women’s shelters or volunteer, organise fundraisers. In short: Make a difference where you can. Online opinion pieces are not that place, neither is keeping yourself in a state of constant aggravation by obsessively checking the tags. All it does it make you unwell.

Don’t support the creator financially. I know I won’t from here onwards, especially where there is a clear divide between his work and that of others (the creator credit for The Sandman also belongs to Mike Dringenberg and Sam Kieth, as you can see on literally every Sandman-related published work. And the intellectual property belongs to DC/Warner since it was work for hire. The Sandman was never creator-owned). Secondhand books are an option, so are libraries. They’re everywhere, and eBay is your friend in that case. You can also still read and enjoy the works you own, it doesn’t harm anyone. You don’t have to bin, burn or sell them. If that feels right though, go for it. It’s your choice, but don’t expect others to make the same choices.

Most importantly: You have nothing to prove to anyone. You know who you are, that’s all that matters. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

[springtrappd]

You said in one post that the author of Solar Lunacy is ableist. Could you explain how they're being problematic? I know almost nothing about them or the story itself, so I wouldn't know if they've said or done anything sus. Also, thank you for actually criticizing the Daycare Attendant stans, almost nobody in this site does that.

thank you for asking! it's rare to see, you're right, but it's also rare that people are willing to actually engage with that critical posting, so -- again, thank you! as for your question: oh boy, can i!

first: the basics. dissociation is a psychological response to overwhelming stress wherein the brain... disassociates from itself, placing a barrier between itself and the harsh reality. the most famous dissociative disorder is dissociative identity disorder (DID), known formerly as multiple personality disorder (MPD) or split personality. did occurs when someone without a fully-formed identity (read: a child) undergoes such severe stress that the 'brain' dissociates from its identity itself, creating alternate identities (personalities) to deal with the things they can't. these alternate identities work together to form a system. it's way more complicated than that and you can read more on it here and here but that's the bare minimum for the ignorant in the audience. we all caught up? good! moving on.

now, the question of whether or not the daycare attendant is a system is a touchy one. i've seen multiple different stances on the matter, seen a lot of arguments, and typed (and deleted) several hundreds of words about it, and the answer that i've come to is that, for the sake of this argument, whether the dca is a system in canon doesn't matter. what matters is how bamsara treats them. how do they handle the characters, how do they frame the switches in personality, the confusion, all the parallels to real-world symptoms -- how do they expect the viewer to feel, what do they pull from the cultural lexicon, yadda yadda. does bamsara -- regardless of their intentions -- depict the dca as a system, and if so, how do they handle it?

the answer is that they depict the dca as experiencing altered identity states, switching (and even blurring) between identities, and even repeatedly acknowledges them as a plural entity.

and it is these behaviours, specifically, that are used to make the dca scary. bamsara's daycare attendant is scary because they experience altered identity states. because they blur identities. because they are a plural entity. because they display the textbook symptoms and behaviours of a disorder most commonly caused by childhood sexual abuse. and it is the fear that this is inspires that makes them (but especially moon & eclipse) sexy.

now, one can argue that this is simply in line with existing horror media, and they would be correct: most pop culture depictions of dissociative disorders are extremely ableist, and have real-world consequences! but what makes it really, really shitty is that... i don't want to think about this stuff. i don't come to fandom to be reminded that people are terrified of what they don't understand, and that that very very often includes the mentally ill. i don't want to be reminded that there are people who don't believe dissociative disorders exist at all. i don't want to reminded that they -- the sick, the survivors, the unlucky 140 million -- are spoken of in the same way as monsters. i don't come here for harsh realities. but solar lunacy is the most kudos'd fnaf fic on ao3, and we all have to live with that.

if you liked solar lunacy or bamsara's content or... whatever, i don't particularly care. i'm not mad about people thinking evil alters are sexy, or engaging with horror content that says shitty things about systems -- it's your life, live it how you please (and i've got a vanny icon so who am i to judge lmao). sometimes the things that make us happy are kinda shitty, and that's okay! our views are shaped by the society we live in, and there is no society on earth that is kind to the mentally ill -- there's no way to undo that, to stop that from influencing you in some capacity. but... all i ask is for you to think about this stuff, and try to educate yourself on the topic. there's nothing wrong with making a mistake, or having flaws -- but there's something wrong with making a space that feels unsafe, that reflects some of the more uncomfortable aspects of our society, that unintentionally hurts people. it's just up to you if that something is something you care about.

i hope that answers your question, anon (and anyone else who's curious). take care, mate!

(edit 13/01/2023: due to some technical difficulties on tumblr's end, the notes aren't quite showing up properly, so here's the link to bamsara's reblog chain if you can't find it.)

[girlscoutbrownies]

sbg headcanons!

(i had to put a title because it keeps just showing up as “aiden” in my notifs)

some of my favourite school bus graveyard headcanons! (in celebration of 101 followers) some are mine, some belong to other people that i’ve taken as well

these got really, really long so ill split it into two parts: aiden, tyler, and taylor for this post and ashlyn, ben, and logan will be in the next

——

aiden

(bit of a tw for disassociation around the end)

- uses he/any pronouns, he mostly doesn’t give a fuck. also doesn’t care if you stick to he/him because he likes it. he also tries out mirror pronouns every once in a while and flipflops between any

- unlabelled energy. also doesn’t care abt that type of stuff, but he’s asexual and it takes him a while to grow feelings. he’s afraid of letting people close to him but it really doesn’t matter to him, not that much. he’s pretty apathetic about it

- generally smells like shittily applied cedarwood cologne. it’s one of those cheap drugstore brands and sometimes he forgets to apply it in the morning, and he doesn’t spray it very well. also smells like grass sometimes

- his favourite subject is psychology/maths/anything logic based (he likes those puzzles). growing up with his bitchass karen mom who probably twisted all the words he said, he doesn’t like cryptic or vague language or poetry (english class) because it reminds him of her. in math, there’s only one answer. in english, there’s hundreds. also the words swim on the paper and he finds it hard to focus

- he has his ears pierced. he begged his parents to take him to an ear piercing studio they just ended up taking him to claire’s but he was still so happy about it

- he BEGGED for a dog or a pet when he was very little but eventually stopped at some point. he asked for stuffed animals and never got any because “it would be too hard to keep track of when we’re moving and you would lose them and get sad” and he’s still very upset about it. used to hug like three pillows when he slept

- he was told they were settling down in georgia and now his current room has millions of stuffed animals i will not hear any arguments about this

- he’s a kicker in his sleep (when he gets any). he kicks plushies off his bed like all the time, he’s not apologetic though he’s just like “oh shit”

- worst and best guy to have a sleepover with. super clingy

- he knows very few actual life skills other than operating a microwave for frozen meals because he largely grew up alone without his parental figures in his life. ashlyn and tyler eventually teach him how to cook

- his growth is stunted bc of that period in his life and he’s short like ashlyn

- he is a HORRIBLE gossip addict. they’ll be sitting at the lunch table eating in silence and he drops “did you hear that samantha’s parents are divorced and madison dropped her bc samantha’s mom doesn’t drive them to the mall anymore” like HUH WHERE DID YOU HEAR THIS?

- he gets school lunch and very rarely (if ever) brings lunch from home. sometimes ben makes him lunches

- plays with his food (this is canon) but he makes storylines out of whatever he does its like his personal roman empire

- big fan of extreme foods (spicy, sour, etc) ((he grew up eating plain ramen)) and loves weird food combinations. everyone always makes weird faces at him when theyre at the mall and he orders weird shit

- he doesn’t know proper meal etiquette until someone has to tell him, his parents didn’t teach him anything (I HATE THEM)

- he’s a really bad cook like ben because he always ends up getting distracted, and somehow manages to skip over steps in the recipes.

- he probably likes cooking shows though and is like “yeah i could do that” (he can’t do that)

- the first time someone (tyler) made aiden a homecooked meal he started cry laughing (it was mostly crying) (nobody talks about it)

- the few times his mom has made him meals whenever she’s home they’re really bad. they don’t taste anything like home, but he didn’t know what home tasted like so he just cried. his mom thought it was because of how good it was (it wasn’t) and he just cried harder

- he dislikes bitter flavours, especially like, orange juice that you make from scratch but you don’t put any sugar in it (it’s because his mom once tried to make homemade orange juice/lemonade to feel more like a “real mom” and it was horrible

- he’ll still eat bitter food though he just wouldn’t like it that much

- likes crunchy food or food that pops in your mouth (poprocks) bc he thinks its cool

- probably needs glasses from how long he’s spent staring at screens (his backstory)

- the one thing his parents consistently did as a kid was take him to his doctors appointments so he has stellar teeth

- he’s fit and fairly athletic (jumping off walls and all) but he doesn’t play sports because he just. isn’t interested in any of it. he tries everything but nothing really sticks that much

- he eats his greens but probably wouldn’t care much for the healthy vegan lifestyle, not that much of a picky eater (this part is canon)

- his favourite holiday is halloween because 1. candy (which he didn’t get much as a kid unless he specifically asked for it or ben brought it over) and 2. he loves dressing up it’s so fun to him

- understimulation is the BANE of his existence he genuinely wants to tear out his own hair every time he gets like that. gets really irritated

- he disassociates a lot, generally experiences a lot of derealization. he doesn’t feel like he’s in his own body sometimes

- insomniac

- chases thrills so that he can “feel” something. doesn’t care if it hurts him or not, because at least then he’ll remember he’s a real person and that his life matters

- really bad at telling when people are lying/are irritated with him. he just keeps pushing until they explode

- good with secrets (his own) but isn’t good at deflecting if asked about someone else’s. he’s just like “ummm. would u look over there. a bird!”

- runs really fast, he wakes up early in the morning to take a walk around the neighborhood. he sometimes encounters tyler if he happens to go into his city (which is often, because he doesn’t like being in his house)

- his house is always really cold, which is why he tends to run really warm (his body is compensating). he knows how to turn the ac off, but it always ends up turning back on in the middle of the night

- he grew up learning The Gifted Child instrument; the piano. he dislikes classical music (he says it’s boring but it’s because of this). he also almost got forced to learn the violin but he once practiced so hard his fingers started bleeding which is how he got out of it

- likes verbal validation bc his parents never told him they were proud of him

taylor

- she/they cis demigirl, gets a bit upset at being misgendered though (people think she’s the transfem twin because tyler passes really well)

- bisexual fem pref

- decorates her locker for almost every occasion. halloween, christmas, easter, birthdays. also decorates other people’s lockers for their birthdays before school starts with sticky notes

- has tons of stuff in her locker (except food because tyler won’t let her) just in case anyone needs anything but she’s not very organized so she doesn’t know where anything is

- because of this she’s one of those people that barely makes it to the door before the bell rings but she’s trying to fix that habit

- enjoys crime documentaries/true crime, horror stuff. used to make tyler watch with her but his anxiety gets really bad and he started getting paranoid

- adores christmas bc it’s a family holiday she makes tyler and her mom homemade gifts every year

- loves dogs with every bone in her body she asks santa for one every year but alas. tyler always has to write “a letter from santa” back saying they ran out of dogs at the north pole

- uses emoticons like “:D :] :3” all the time when she types, downloaded a bunch of sticker packs too. especially cat ones

- had her future all planned out as a kid and told her dad she’d be a mechanical engineer and build trains and rockets to bring him places when he started getting really sick and couldn’t move anymore

- her hair is actually kind of dry (compared to aiden’s or ashlyn’s) because they couldn’t afford great shampoo or anything

- has an ehh skincare routine and doesn’t care much for her fashion sense, just wears whatever’s comfortable

- knows a lot of random facts as conversation starters, she’s surprisingly good at small talk ( + comforting people)

- gossips with aiden aallll the time bc she’s super sociable and knows lots of people who tell her secrets. she doesn’t tell any of the important ones but just little drama things

- her and aiden are bffs

- really likes kids because they’re funny, she has a big imagination like them so it’s easy for her to play with them

- she’s a swiftie and whenever someone asks her if she likes taylor swift as a joke bc of her name she says “i like all music!” (she loves tswift)

- really likes sweets over most types of food, she’s healing her inner child guys

- has always ALWAYS wanted to go to a circus/carnival/festival when she was younger, but they couldn’t afford tickets. she still has that dream but she obviously has bigger priorities now…

tyler

- transmale he/him

- doesn’t care that much about dating, he actually doesn’t think about it that much until he meets The Gang. he always too busy taking care of his family to bother with relationships

- dislikes heavy meals, eats in small portions. it’s a habit

- used to be a picky eater but isn’t anymore, when he was younger they struggled to put food on the table so

- he’s like tigris from ballad of songbirds and snakes; when he prepared food for the family he’d eat bits and pieces of it while cooking. eats raw meat sometimes but once got sick from it so never again because he doesn’t want people taking care of him

- he HATES being sick. HATES HATES HATES it, hates having to burden people

- stress cooks because he likes having things to do with his hands. he also runs laps/paces around when he’s stressed

- runs his hands through his hair so it’s always messy

- he doesn’t bother combing his hair unless it’s for a special occasion like the first day of school, he just doesn’t care that much

- gets up early like aiden to keep up his physical fitness, doesn’t stray far though because his mom wakes up around the same time he does

- is VERY punctual. will be furious if someone makes plans and then is late. always arrives somewhere like, fifteen minutes early. he’s trying to break taylor’s habit of being late

- occasionally scolds taylor about how messy her locker is

- is extremely (and kind of scarily) meticulous. clean backpack, clean locker, clean room. it’s a habit

- book smart and figures things out pretty easily. he has an internal computer inside his head i swear. latches onto concepts very quickly

- likes math because he’s good at memorizing concepts but biology is his worst enemy, he gets queasy very easily

- motion sickness

- doesn’t actually have a set plan for the future, other than “help his family.” will probably do something related to sports (sports scholarship) or will do something math/analytical related

- spams people when they don’t respond to him but quits eventually (semicanon)

- has some sort of separation anxiety i swear he does

- keeps every single promise he makes because he hates broken promises (his dad told him he’d be fine and out of the hospital soon), he also doesn’t make a lot of promises

- dislikes nicknames like “champ” and “buddy”

- he’s ambidextrous

- he always seems to be like, tense? can’t relax at all. it might be because of his anxiety (HE HAS ANXIETY)

- only ever relaxes if he’s at home

- rarely watches television, he says it’s a waste of time (he always gets distracted and gets up and goes to do something else) he can leave it in the background though

- i think he has chronic pain, i don’t know where but i just think he does. everything just aches sometimes and he’s so young fuck life

- he’s okay with kids like his sister, not as good as her but he’ll take care of them (habit x37362828) he’d probably say everything really monotone though “there’s santa claus, wow.”

- he and taylor both have a pretty strong southern accent from living in middle of nowhere georgia (i think someone made an art post on this a while back :D)

- is really bad at video games because he gets frustrated easily

- he grinds his teeth when he sleeps and has jaw pain what a loser

[hantheheart]

ok so ive been marinating on some thoughts of 4KOTA again so

18+ 4KOTA and friends but BOOZE EDITION

Percy Platoon first

Donny is a BEAST, this mans can drink so much. It takes so much to get him drunk. He's near the top of ranking here. He gets a little cranky when he's drunk but you can bet your ass he spends so much of the time of getting there making fun of everyone and the time after getting there of being a jokey teasing.

Anne, I think isn't too much of a fan but she can drink a good amount before she's drunk drunk. High middle of the leaderboard. She's a happy drunk and also just more of what she's already like but at 100% the whole time. She will knock herself out within an hour, and it will be Gawain's job to carry her to bed

Percy and Nasiens are. Frankly, I think they're mildly immune? Obviously, Nasiens can frankly erase the effects of alcohol and I'm p sure Percy just can't. It just doesn't work on him. Does this make them top or bottom of the leaderboard? Who knows.

Tristan Platoon

I think Isolde and Jade are both middle ground as well, but opposite side of the middle. Isolde has a slightly higher tolerance than mid and Jade is slightly under. Isolde is a crier, she's real emotional type and she WILL hug somebody. Jade will try to be the hugged one, but he heavily disassociates man. He goes off, he's on another planet.

Chion, I will be mean too, I will not lie. He is pretty low on the leaderboard but not the bottom, it doesn't take much to get drunk and he's a little more obviously mean than usual but he's so wobbly its hard to take him seriously. But he does absolutely make fun of our bottom of the leaderboard.

Tristan is smack between Chion and Jade. He's fairly low tolerance but you can thank the genes he got from Meliodas for being able to handle any booze at all. He's giggly and sweet and always winds up laying on somebody somehow. Shoulder, lap, back, this man will find a way to become a feather boa on you if he can.

AND LANCE!!! Oh this is what spurred this whole post! Lancelot my boy my guy my little purse chihuahua

IF I could direct your attention to Ban's wiki page, you will see that Lance's old man is a LIGHTWEIGHT! Ban gets shitfaced at the slightest amount of booze and you cannot look me in the eye and tell me Fairies have any better chance. Lance is the LIGHTEST LIGHT WEIGHT IN BRITANIA and he HATES IT. And worst yet, he's just like his dad when he's shitfaced. He gets real friendly and by GOD he won't stop laughing.

Chion loves to gloat about how he can drink more than Lancelot, but Tristan and Percy are by far the worst of it, they WILL tease him relentlessly the day after because he would not stop telling them they're his beeeeeessssssstttt frrrriiieeennndddsss~!

And last but certainly not least.

Gawain is just. Impervious. She can down a whole barrel of good shit and act no different. Her face doesnt even flush. You literally can't tell if it does anything and she'll certainly never tell if it works. She and Donny absolutely do drinking contest cause Donny always thinks 'this time I'll win' and then doesn't.

[genderkoolaid]

also while looking up stuff about Too Much Blood I found this gem:

Its like. impressive how bad cis people can be at inclusive language. What's the point of putting "assigned at birth" labels if you are just grouping them in with the terms "men" and "women"? The point of AGAB language is to disassociate certain sexes/body types from gender. But if you are putting "women and AFAB" or "men and AMAB", the implication is that cis people are the Real men and women, and trans people are just people who are the same sex as the Real men and women.

Its kind of hilarious. The whole goddamn point is that there are men who were AFAB and women who were AMAB. Putting down genders and AGABs defeats the point of using AGAB language in the first place.

[witch-hazels-musings]

favorite distraction 

warning: sfw, fluff, spice - character perspective - pining 

includes: Alhaitham (pre-relationship), Childe, Diluc, Thoma

character x gn reader | anthology 

Alhaitham

Alhaitham pinched the hairs on his eyebrow while he read the book sprawled on his desk. The words enticing him into deep thought even as he turned page after page. Every once in a while he’d come across a passage that made him roll his eyes but he never followed through with the action - it was more of a ‘in his head’ type of response. One that also reminded him to unclench his jaw. 

A flicker of light drew his attention. It started with curiosity but quickly spiraled into a focused observation as every synapse in his brain fired while looking at you. 

You weren’t doing anything spectacular. Mostly you were organizing a stack of documents he planned on dealing with later. It wouldn’t have taken him very long after all but he also found no reason to stop you if it saved him from doing work down the line. 

Surprisingly you never complained. If you did it wasn’t to his face. Or, at least, he thought so - to be honest there were a few times he disassociated when you talked to him. It wasn’t necessarily because what you were telling him was boring, it was more like it set off a chain-reaction in his head that he had to follow to its conclusion. 

He could note several occasions where you set off his brain - one of them being now. 

Your body language for-warned him you were about to turn his way so he dropped his gaze to his book. 

“Alhaitham?” He placed his hand on the page and looked up at you. His expression remained unaffected but the rest of him didn’t. His lungs breathed you in, his fingers twitched at how close you were. He wasn’t a man of many wants, preferred the simple things. A relationship was none of those - he didn’t need it. “I’m sorry but,” you pushed a form his way, the pages were sealed together but you’d turned to one in the stack and pointed at the bottom, “You forgot to sign this one.” 

He leaned toward the document, his hair brushing over your arm making you pull it back quickly. “Oh.”

“Let me know when you’ve finished.” You mumbled before rushing back to the stack of papers. Alhaitham was painfully aware of the way people looked at him, talked to him or about him, scoffed at his decisions no matter the kind. He wasn’t oblivious to their reactions, just indifferent to them. Why should he care - people should focus on themselves and not the lives of others. 

But --

Grabbing a pen, he signed the document and verified there wasn’t another one missing. He considered letting you check back in to find it was finished but, instead, he rose from his chair, placed the book he was reading upside down to not lose his place, and made his way toward you. 

“Here,” he called to you when he was close enough, his hand resting on the table. You were surprised to see him. Didn’t you just say to let you know when he was finished?

“T-Thank you,” you stumbled over your words as you took the document and placed it in the pile. He noticed you stealing several glances his way while you worked. “Um - did you need anything else?” You asked and, honestly, he didn’t know what to say to that. 

“No,” he answered which should have been the end to it ... 

But -- 

“You’re distracting.” He blurted out with an empty expression. Eyes locked on your face, taking in everything you did. 

Panicked, you looked at him, “I’m - oh - I’m sorry. I can leave?” He didn’t respond, so you did, “Yeah, right, I’ll leave. So sorry,” It was like watching a bird desperately try to grab all the twigs from the forest floor before fluttering away to their nest. He thought about helping but ultimately didn’t. 

“Alhaithaaaam,” a familiar voice broke his fixation on you. The blond burst through the door to his office so loudly it made you jump and back up into him. “Hey, I forgot my -- oh, hello, y/n,” Kaveh smiled and waved at you but all Alhaitham could focus on was the feeling of your arm against his palm and how warm you felt. 

“H-hello ... bye,” you said in one fluid sentence before dipping out the door and disappearing all together. 

Kaveh made his way toward the table, his head swiveling multiple times as if he were processing what had just happened as slowly as a turtle crawls. It took Alhaitham two tries to answer whatever question was thrown his way. 

“What did you say?” 

“My keys? Do you have them?” Kaveh asked and raised his brow. “Are you okay? You look ... odd ...” 

“I’m fine,” he huffed and turned to head toward his desk. 

“Okay ... well did you say anything mean to y/n? They looked odd too -” 

“You’re distracting.” 

“Huh? What did I do?” 

“No, I told them, ‘you’re distracting.’“ 

“Oh.” ... “OH!” Kaveh shoved the scholars shoulder before snatching his keys, “That’s so rude! Why would you say that?” 

“Why? It’s the truth.” 

“You can’t just tell people they're bothering you like that -” 

“I didn’t say, ‘bothering me,’ I said, ‘distracting.’” 

“I don’t hear a difference.” Kaveh crossed his arms and furrowed his brows at him. 

“How’s this then,” Alhaitham spun on his heels and returned to his chair. He lifted his book and found the spot he’d stopped at moments ago, “you’re annoying.” 

“That’s worse!” Kaveh shouted while Alhaitham started to read. It took longer than he thought it would for it to click, “Wait - was that directed at me?!” When Alhaitham didn’t respond, he threw his hands in the air and stormed off, “Whatever, just be nicer to people. And stop taking my keys!” 

The room fell silent again until he was left completely alone with his thoughts. He couldn’t understand why his honesty would come across as rude. 

You were distracting; then and now. 

You were so distracting that it took more and more of his energy to think about anything but you. 

--

Childe

“Do you have to go right now?” You asked and rubbed the sleep out of your eyes. There was a small clock on your bedside but with how dark it was there was no way you’d figure out the time. “How’d they even call you this late?” 

“It’s a secret,” Childe said, grabbing the clock in your hands and placing it facedown on the wooden end-table. “Go back to sleep,” he kissed your forehead and pulled at the sheets that had fallen to your waist. The cool air caused goosebumps to rise on his back, he could only imagine what it did to you. 

“But I want to see you off. I’ll grab my --” Childe cut you off with a lingering kiss. His hand cupped the back of your head as he guided you onto the pillow still warm from when you were asleep. The silken sheets made it easy for him to leave you there even if it was difficult for his will to do so. 

“Back to sleep,” he repeated, his lips passing over yours as he spoke. The sensation drove him mad. He gripped the bedsheet to stay calm. 

“Not fair,” you breathed and he stole another kiss from you. 

“I won’t be gone long.” You nodded, he couldn’t really see you but he felt your nose run next to his, brush against his cheek. “Sleep,” he demanded and pecked your nose with a quick kiss before prying himself away from you. 

Gathering his things, he made his way to the bathroom and closed the door so he couldn’t disturb you. He caught his reflection in the mirror and lingered on several scars that lined his chest. A long gash that put him in a healing ward for nearly two weeks, another wound that kept him from using his delusion for a whole month. Though it wouldn’t have been that long if he’d listened to Dottore. Lifting his arm, he looked at another scar that he’d received from places he conjured in his nightmares. 

Clenching his jaw, he turned on the water and splashed his face with the cool liquid before throwing on his shirt. 

Childe was annoyed he had to leave so abruptly. He swore he’d smash his fist into the face of whoever called him away. He had his suspicions, only a small handful of Harbingers would be brave enough to request him in the middle of the night, and even fewer brave enough to enter the one place he forbade anyone else from ever stepping foot in.

Call upon him wherever, whenever, but don’t ever do it near you. 

When Childe finished putting his clothes on, he left the bathroom to grab his bag and pack away the other items he’d need for the expedition. Whatever it was it better be over quick. 

Slinging the bag over his shoulder, he made his way to the door but not before glancing back at the bed, not before breathing through his straining heart at the sight of you asleep and bathed in moonlight. 

He was so weak. 

The bag slipped off his shoulder, fell down his arm and dropped quietly on the floor. He walked toward your side of the bed and looked down at your face. His hand felt magnified to you. It moved on its own to caress your cheek, hovered, trembled above you out of fear of waking you up. Out of fear of seeing your eyes look at him. Of your smile. Of the sound of your voice calling his name. 

If you asked it of him, he run to you without question. 

Kneeling, he watched you for a moment. Took you in. Reveled in the sight of you and became jealous of the moon. He dropped his head and took in a breath. 

“You’re distracting,” he professed, his hand rubbing his chin, covering his smirk and clenching jaw. Childe rose up just enough to press a soft kiss to the corner of your mouth, “So damn distracting,” he whispered and watched how you moved beneath him. 

Tearing himself away, he picked up his bag and exited the room. Careful not to slam the door too loud in his irritation. 

The Fatui always talked about how Scaramouche had a sour look on his face, but they’d never seen his after being torn from the bed of his lover and favorite distraction. 

--

Diluc

He meandered through the halls of the Winery, eyes locked on the papers folded in his hand. He had a habit of tucking them behind themselves so he could hold onto them more comfortably. So he could keep his left hand free to sign a form or sniff a cup of just brewed wine. It felt like he’d only made it a few steps before someone else pulled his attention away.

“Excuse me, Master Diluc,” an attendant called to him with a sharp bow. He hated when they addressed him as such, but he stopped trying to fix it long ago. “The equipment you ordered arrived, what would you like us to do with it?” Diluc looked past the attendant toward the front door even though he had no view of outside from this angle. 

“Nothing is missing?” They shook their head, “Alright,” he turned back toward the cellar, “instruct Earnest to set it up in the back corner of the cellar. It should be clear as of yesterday.” 

“Yes sir,” they bowed.

“This new processing method is reserved for our non-alcoholic beverages. Do remind them when you see them,” they bowed again before passing him while Diluc returned to the papers in his grip. He lagged for a moment as he tried to find his place until catching his stride and moving down the hall toward the stairs. 

He drew closer to the study but before he passed through the door, a familiar laugh drifted toward him, stopping him in his tracks. Diluc glanced down the hall seeing only a sliver of light stretching across the ornate rug that had been there since before he was born. No other sound followed so he continued through the door as planned. 

A few moments later, he exited the study to investigate the source of the heart-straining laughter. 

Pushing the door to the bedroom open, he saw you laying across the bed. Your feet kicking in the air, hands holding a book which held your attention.  You laughed again, pressed the pages to your face with a lovely smile before pulling back and turning the page.  Diluc swore he wasn’t a jealous man but oh how he wished to be that book.

It took only a few strides to reach you, and a few less for you to finally look at him. 

“Hello, Handsome,” you hummed. 

He cleared his throat, “Hello.” His cheeks warmed at the nickname you gave him. Of all the things to say -- 

“Whatcha doing?” Lifting onto your knees, you ett him face to face. Closing your book over your fingers, you tapped his chest when he took a step closer to you.

“I might ask you the same thing,” he answered eyeing your book. 

“I figured I’d take a break. Wanna join me?” You inched toward him. His body reacted strongly to feeling of your weight against him as you slid your arms over his shoulder, falling into his chest. 

With a heavy sigh, he closed his eyes to avoid looking at your smile, “I cannot. There are still a few things --” 

“Boo -” you pouted, pulling away from him as you deflated. His hands held your waist so you couldn’t get very far. When they got there he wasn’t sure but they felt so right he didn’t question it. “Okay.” 

Diluc hated seeing you unhappy but he was terrible and finding the right balance. 

“Will you have dinner with me then?” 

He thought it was a silly question. The two of you always had dinner when he wasn’t otherwise incapable of it. With a smile, he told you his intentions, “Yes.” 

“Yay!” With that you were back in a state that made him swoon. He adored your smile more than anyone could. “I won’t hold you then,” you explained but not before you leaned in to kiss him. 

Dangerous --- 

It shouldn’t have distorted him so badly. He’d kissed you plenty of times before this - when one of you left the Winery grounds, when you’d both be too busy to see much of the other, in passing as if to tell the other, ‘hello, i’m thinking of you.’ They were simple but he cherished every one. This one, however, settled in his stomach to intensely. Before you could slip away from him, he pulled you back for another. 

and another. 

and another. 

Until you were laying on your back and his hands pressed into the well-made bed. He pulled back to take you in. How heavily you caught your breath, how tenderly your fingers pressed against his chest or rested against his stubbled chin. He kissed your fingers and you sang at the touch.

He said your name making you shiver at the sound, “Have I told you that you’re ... distracting ...” he breathed over your lips, gaze growing heavy as he looked down at you. 

Your voice had changed in such a beautiful way, “Good distracting or bad--?” 

“Not sure yet,” he answered as his lips connected with yours for a long, lingering kiss of many. 

--

Thoma

Thoma rolled onto his side. The warm sheets sliding across his skin while the sounds of birds and even earlier risers than him spilled through the open windows. He took in a deep breath, catching a whiff of familiarity and comfort. 

Something passed over his side and, before he knew it, that familiarity was pressing against his back. 

Thoma chuckled, “Morning.” He kept his voice low so as to not be so jarring. The only response he got was a unhappy groan. Slowly, he ran his hands over the arm pressed against him, across the palm of the hand that opened to greet him. He caressed the skin and his back grew warmer. “I have to get up,” he said, albeit reluctantly. 

“Mmm, no,” you mumbled, capturing his index finger in your grip. 

“Haha, come on -” He tried to pull his hand away but you held strong; stronger than anyone should be for just waking up. “Okay - okay, a little longer.” He submitted and you relaxed against him. 

Thoma closed his eyes but didn’t fall back asleep. Instead, he listened to the sound of footsteps in the polished hallway, heard whispers of attendants going about their morning, careful not to wake their neighbors up. The Kamisato Estate was more accommodating than people expected, even the staff quarters were more lavish than some of the hostels and homes speckling the island. Thoma wasn’t raised here, but he grew up here. It was like a home to him but you were changing that feeling every day. 

He didn’t just work hard for himself, he worked hard for those he cared about. Prying himself from your arms every morning took a little piece of him, he wanted to give you a good life. One outside of the walls of his employer. 

So, even though you had managed to slip another arm around him. This one under his head. He had to part ways. 

“Okay, time to --” Thoma was captured by you as you launched yourself up and hovered over him. One hand pressing into the bed near his face while the other landed at the back of his neck. He moved to his back and looked into your determined face. 

“I’m not ready for you to leave yet,” you explained, lips dragging down into a frown. Even when you scrunched your face up, even when your hair stuck out at all ends he thought you were one of the most enchanting beings he’d ever seen. 

Maneuvering his hand between the sheets and your limbs, he touched your forehead and let his hands run across your hair. “When will you be ready?” He asked, knowing no amount of time would be reasonable enough for you. Be it a few minutes, an hour, several days, if you could steal all his time you’d do it - and he was so very tempted to let you. 

If only you knew how often you filled his mind. How frequently he found himself thinking of you, looking for you, hoping for your well-being. He thought that after you agreed to be his, after you swore you’d be by his side that his passions for you would stabilize but that - he found - was not the case. 

“I’m never ready,” you answered. 

“I know,” he replied, cupping your face and pulling you to him. He kissed your lips gently, moved to your nose where he gave you another, turned your head without resistance to pepper the space below your eyes with more of his love. When he finished, your arms were shaking so he helped you fall to your side. 

“Thoma -” 

“Mmm?” He asked as he followed after you, his nose pushing against your jaw so he could kiss the warmth of your neck. 

“Y-your distracted --” 

He slid closer to you, placed his arm over your head so he could block you, wall off your expressions so only he could see. “I guess I am,” Thoma mused, his nose brushing against your own until you looked at him and he sealed your bravery with a kiss. 

--

[psychiatricwarfare]

PLEASE tag unreality posts properly

ok so ive noticed that some of yall really have no idea what unreality means and i can tell because i have the tag blacklisted so i dont get needlessly triggered while scrolling through tumblr dot com and as long as im told its not real its usually fine so ill click on the button to view it and itll be like... a picture of someones childhood home.. that... that is Not unreality. even if it is YOUR childhood home and it makes YOU disassociate. that is Not unreality and you're needlessly making Other delusional/psychotic/disassociative people's minds run wild as it tries to guess What in this picture isnt real & can spiral into convincing ourselves that nothing is real

on the other hand, sometimes ill be hit with a post with No Warning that says some shit like "THEY are coming for you. Hide." and like do i need to explain how this is harmful??

im not saying you cant shitpost or weirdpost or creepypost or whatever but pls tag properly (learn how under the cut)

if you dont know what should be tagged as unreality, its anything that isnt actually real/true, i would say that most importantly, unreality should be tagged on posts that could trigger delusions in people. think back to the me or ps5 song, the guy who originally duetted her has come forward asking people to please tag it as unreality due to the lines "its me boy im the ps5 speaking to you from inside your brain" and "listen to me, boy, your free will is an illusion" triggering people into experiencing delusions. in general, if the goal of your post is to harmlessly scare someone at 2am by making up a spooky scenario or evil creature or whatever, it needs an unreality tag

"you have been chosen" type posts are a form of unreality as well and can trigger delusions of grandeur, religious delusions, etc.

eerie and unsettling posts (i particularly see this with photographs) with no words and/or anything fake added are NOT unreality, it is only unreality if there are UNreal elements or if the entire thing is made up

common tags that unreality is found in are things like weirdcore, dreamcore, liminalcore (<- this one is usually mistagged unsettling photographs of real places), chaos posting, etc.

if you have any more questions i highly recommend interacting with (& befriending) more people who experience dissociation/psychosis/schizophrenia/delusions/paranoia/etc so you can get a better understanding of what people like us experience

[tirfpikachu]

i think so many wrongly trans-identified people - which obvs isn't all trans folks, just ppl like me as a detrans dyke - are just gender criminals. they're made to think that means they need to separate themselves from their agab entirely instead of just seeing themselves as a post-gender sexed creature, like a female rabbit or male dog, just a neutral body type while messing around with gender roles.

i fought all the gender off my body like it was a plague taking over me from my sexist misogynistic upbringing and Society tm. you can be cis/non-trans and still be post-gender. you can be gnc as hell and not be trans or dysphoric about your sex, or disassociating from your sex category, and instead just be anti-gender. you don't need to be trans or nonbinary to be post-gender and gnc. it can even be a political thing, a protest against the patriarchy. you just can't assume that every cis person has stereotypical cis privilege. you just can't assume that anyone who isn't trans-identified or nonbinary-identified doesn't face gncphobia that can be just as horrific as transphobia, or be uncomfortable with the gender roles forced on them. anyone visibly gnc or transitioned, or both, faces bigotry in society. this should be a better indicator of oppression than simple label terms. it should be about real, tangible experiences of gncphobia, misogyny, sexism etc.

this is why nonbinary used to not be a trans-exclusive term, btw. some people truly were like "i'm cis, i'm not trans, but i'm agender." but then people jumped in and yelled that no, that couldn't be true, they must all be trans and they must all be dysphoric, even when the person was straight up openly like no, i'm not trans, i'm fine with my sex, i just think gender roles are dumb and i think being nonconforming is cool. but that's not the case anymore; you say anything about gender being stupid, hating gender roles, hating how you're treated for being female or being male and feminine, and boom! people say you're a repressed trans person and you need to accept your "true self" away from the category of your birth sex, instead of expanding what it means to be a man/woman. you can't say you're male/female and just fooling around with presentation. unless you're a gay male drag queen of course, but even then many get pressured nowadays to identify one way or another. this helps nobody. literally nobody. just like telling a bi person they're a repressed lesbian, or telling someone straight that they "look gay" is shitty and unhelpful, and honestly often gncphobic, sexist & biphobic/homophobic... you can't simply say that someone is looking or acting trans. the feeling of not belonging to your sex category to an extreme extent, of being dysphoric, is not something you can tell from the person's appearance or behavior, right? that's not just gncphobic but also lowkey transphobic to say that you can always "just tell" unless they straight up visibly transitioned (and aren't detrans). it's shitty rhetoric. you can't get all creepily giddy at the thought of someone you know being trans too, just like it's gross when straight girls fetishize their male friend coming out as gay bc they have the classic gay bestie fantasy stuck in their head. with dysphoria there's also an ableist fetishization aspect to it as well, bc it's a disorder but its suffering and treatment is often romanticized even outside the trans community and seen as a fun little glowup. we cannot keep enabling this kind of behavior. it's simply unhealthy and actually reinforces gender roles. we should ALL be post-gender. we should ALL throw away stupid gender roles and instead be ourselves and do what we want, no matter what the patriarchy wants us to do.

it's okay to use the trans label, or to be dysphoric. it's okay to be nonbinary. but it's also okay to not be trans, yet still feel post-gender. this goes doubly for people affected by misogyny and homophobia!

[merakiui]

MERA, THAT NEW TREY FIC HAS TICKLED MY BRAIN SO GOOD LIKE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! ヾ(≧▽≦*)oヾ(≧▽≦*)oヾ(≧▽≦*)o

Surreal horror has always been one of my favorite types of horror because of the unsettling atmosphere and the reality-bending and you wrote it so well! You did amazing when you wrote the dream sequences in DRU, and now to actually read a whole dang fic with the theme?? With Trey of all people???? OTZ OTZ OTZ You've unlocked so many new possibilities with his Doodle Suit, truly the Gaslighting King of all time 👑👑👑

AND THE SYMBOLISM!!!!! please please please please ramble about them if you want-- I'm having so much fun rereading this fic again and again. The Violet Butterwort caught my attention cause isn't that a carnivorous plant? 👀👀 Trapping insects in its leaves like a certain grass-haired man??? 👀👀👀

Anyway, all I'm saying is, Trey is not the only chef around cause you definitely COOKED with this one 🔥🔥✨✨

( ≧ᗜ≦) AAAAA OMG OMG THANK YOUUUUUU!!!!!! ✨ ✨

I'm so happy it tickled your brain! I adore surreal horror in film and writing. There's just so much potential for the craziest of things to happen! Dream sequences or sequences that feel like dreams are some of my favorite things to write. The ones in DRU are also just as surreal. <3 I originally wanted to write this concept with Jade (Kalim was second on my list), but I decided upon Trey in the end because I think he suits the surreal horror vibes so well! Doodle Suit + the power of seamless gaslighting........ what a terrifying combination.

I wanted the story to feel obscure and almost like a trip with the imagery and descriptions. Sort of like the vibes in Alice in Wonderland. Just,,,,, utterly bonkers.

👀 you are very right about the butterwort hehehe!!! As for other symbolisms/details, these are the main ones in the story! I left out some of the symbolisms of various lines or words because that would make for such a long analysis of my own work. ^^;;;

It is under the cut due to length (forgive me)! A warning for mentions of sexual assault and drugging!

✧ the binary can be translated into messages. :)

✧ the feeling of itchiness - feeling as if you don't fit in your body after it's been violated. Feeling like something (trauma/blocked memories) is beneath your skin and you can't get it out no matter what you do. Also, itchy as in discomfort.

✧ grass - this is meant to be Trey. It's how Reader views him throughout the story.

✧ violet butterwort - as you noted, it's a carnivorous plant that traps insects! It's also a symbol of resilience and a common charm used to ward off supernatural evils.

✧ birthday cake with 20 candles - the plot is that Reader and Trey are/were in a relationship and on Reader's twentieth birthday Trey drugged their tea (chamomile) and had his way with them when they were half-conscious. Thus, Reader was never able to indulge in their birthday cake because Trey took it all. Cake can also be a metaphor for Reader's body.

✧ the line "it will take twenty more..." is in reference to the healing process and how it's going to take Reader time to heal from everything.

✧ xylophone chimes/broken glass - the juxtaposition of something sweet-sounding with something jarring.

✧ the white rabbit - a sense of innocence/comfort lost.

✧ "Soups are easy to eat. Easy to slip special sentiments in." - a reference to drugging.

✧ "Soup is what becomes of your brain when your body is too itchy." - disassociation during something traumatic (in this case, sexual assault).

✧ the hedge maze that never has a true exit - the feeling of being lost and trapped and never having a real escape.

✧ the grass bow around the white rabbit's neck - the obsessive and unhealthy hold Trey has on Reader. How he can't let them go.

✧ static - lots of noise and amidst the noise there's Trey, whose own voice is sometimes static and other times soothing enough to cut through the static.

✧ the sequence of "it's here and then there and then here again..." - an allusion to the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland when he's giving Alice directions, but they're all over the place.

✧ every time the grass whispers or speaks - things Trey told Reader when he assaulted them.

✧ "In and out. Out and in. In and out. Out. Out. Out. Incessant itchiness. Get it out." - double meaning for breathing but also the act of sex (thrusting).

✧ the questioning of "that didn't just happen, did it?" - how Reader feels in the aftermath. But also just a general question in response to gaslighting. A consistent questioning of one's reality.

✧ Reader's association of the word "gross" with cake (especially birthday/confetti cake) - it ties into the above and also the part in the story about favorite foods and memories.

✧ teeth falling out - usually, in dream interpretation, this symbolizes a recent loss or mourning of something lost.

✧ hyperdontia - the horror of having a mouth and a voice but never being able to use it because it's so clogged with teeth, so no one will ever listen to or hear the things Reader desperately wants and needs to say.

✧ Frozen Charlotte dolls - Victorian era dolls that could float in the bath. They were also baked into cakes. They're called Frozen Charlottes based on a folk ballad called "Fair Charlotte," which tells the tale of a young girl (Charlotte) on her way to a ball with her lover (Charlie). It's dreadfully cold out, but she frets over the fact that wearing a coat will prevent everyone from seeing her pretty dress. She freezes to death on her way to the ball and arrives in her carriage as a frozen corpse. I think these dolls are fascinating and so cute, so I just wanted to compare teeth to Frozen Charlottes. The description of having a dozen tiny dolls stuck in your throat made for unpleasant imagery, so I wanted to write it!

✧ "A black rabbit blinks up at you with its milky-white eyes. Its nose twitches. Once. Twice. Thrice. A loud gust slithers through the field in which you currently observe, surrounded by decaying greenery and wilted wildflowers. They sprawl endlessly, clawing at the horizon beyond with broken fingers. You watch monochrome tones sway, dried petals flaking off like scabs against a battered, bloodless sky." - this is the same paragraph as seen in the beginning, only certain details have been changed. It's a hint at some sort of cycle that Reader's just only beginning to see. Idyllic beauty is no longer so blinding now that Reader sees what they didn't notice before.

[lcs-library]

waugh,, hi lc !!! im so happy to see u on my dash again aaaa 🥺❤️ need some comfort ue ue ue,, so if at all possible,, could i hey black tea and London fog w juza from the normal menu please? thank u !! n if not,, no worries eee !! 💕

HI HAHN HI HAHN HI HAHN JUMPS UP AND DOWN AT YOU!!!!!!!!!! YEAS OFC HEHEHE YIPPEE!!!!

Request rules | Cafe menu | Autumn menu

Black Tea: How do they comfort their s/o?

🍡He seems like the type to have no idea what to do.,.,,(real of him tbh)

🍡He’d walk in on you kinda disassociating and staring off and be a little confused.

🍡“Sugar? …Sugar? You okay?”

🍡When you finally turn to look at him, he notices your cheeks are a bit tear-stained, and your eyes are a bit red and puffy, making his heart sink. 

🍡“Can I come close?” He asks in the softest tone, unsure of what would set you off.

🍡Once you agree, he sits next to you, not sure if he should touch you, talk to you, or even offer anything. He chooses to wait for a bit until he’s sure it’s okay for him to help you out.

🍡“Hey, uh… ‘m here if you need anything. ‘Kay?” 

🍡You nod, and move to gently rest your head against him. Juza’s breath hitches for a moment, before he gingerly wraps an arm around you to hold you snugly against him. 

🍡“I’ve got’cha, okay? ‘M here, and I’m not gonna leave. I love you.”

🍡With that, he plants a light, but loving, kiss to your forehead, and, for a moment, you believe everything will really be okay. 

London Fog: How do they spend a rainy day with their s/o?

🍡Juza LOVES rainy days. And I mean LOVES them.

🍡He’s the kinda guy who will sit at the window with a cup of hot chocolate and watch the rain fall for hours while listening to some soft music.

🍡And with you there? Peak. Nothing can top it. 

🍡So when you decide to stay home from all of your commitments to spend a long, quiet, rainy day with him, this man is in HEAVEN. 

🍡You start the day by lying in bed with him, holding each other close in a mess of limbs while the rain softly patters against the roof, a reminder that the two of you are warm and safe away from it all. 

🍡Of course, Juza’s the first to leave the bed, given how tied he is to his routine, though you’re a bit slow to follow.

🍡You groan once he leaves the bed, reaching for the bit of warmth he left, while he can only give you one last longing look before leaving the room. He wanted to do something special for you, after all.

🍡After a while, once you finally have the motivation and energy, you sit up, swinging your legs over the side of the bed, only to be greeted by Juza re-entering the room with a tray in his hands. You freeze, watching him as he takes the utmost care not to spill its contents before setting it down on the bedside table.

🍡Glancing at it, you notice that on it is a plate of waffles, as well as two mugs of cocoa, and a bit of fruit. Your expression softens at the gesture, and you turn to thank Juza for his hard work.

🍡He blushes deeply, his hand shooting to the back of his neck.

🍡“‘S nothin’, just the least I could do for ya, canceling everythin’ for me.”

🍡You grin, thanking him once more before digging in, while he takes one of the steaming mugs. 

🍡It was the perfect start to your rainy day with your perfect partner<3

🍡The rest of the day was also pretty lazy hehe, mostly just chilling and lots of parallel play<3 yeah<3

[proth-blog]

When or if black takes your sona to meetings do they fall asleep?

Also here have an ido- I mean a baby

Ok so I like to think there are two types of meetings 1 were its basicly the lords talking about things they need to do in alagadda, like if they need to had infrastactures or change some streats or if mirth's war fleat needs something stuff like that, then there is the second one whice is more the court wanting to have meetings with their restective lords, in this case anguish, and usually this request are filed through by their closest servent or haed servent/maid, in this case my sona; having that in mind in the first type of meeting my sona would not fall asleep because she would get the belt lets say but would probably disassociate for most of but would still need to pay attention if her lord needs some input during or after the meeting, since the lord closest servents are kinda like managers for the other maid/servents so whatever is a miss in that section of their lords palece or "cleaning stuff" they know, but for the second one she also can fall asleep or be eepy in general because she has to take notes and deal with the courtiers that are getting to bothersome or act out of their role.

Also little fun fact in the start of her doing this anguish had to do most of her job because she was still learning how to read and writed so couldn't note down what the courtiers were complaining about lol, also she didn't what to do because unlike alagaddians she doesn't come with the knowledge on how to do her job but this isnt really a turn off for anguish because he likes teaching but also verbaly and physicly abusing people who fail at understending what he is teaching them 👍👍👍

Also also another fun fact my sona started to draw little protraits/doodle of the courtiers who were talking her ear off in the meeting and anguish saw it and went "mmmm i can exploit her more if I teach her actual painting things" like her drawings weren't good since they were just doodles but he saw potential into finding a portrait artist for free and for 24/7 so convinient for him

Anyway here two idio- i mean silly little guys