#its a new environment with new people so I feel this kind of anxiety coming to me

[hunniebunnietarot]

"When I First Saw You"

First of all, I apologize for the delay on this reading:( I've been so unmotivated and busy, but I got it up FINALLY! If you can please tell me what you think of this reading or if you have any other suggestions. Enjoy!

Tarot Masterlist

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How?

I’m seeing this as a situation where you are in need of assistance because of something(or someone) that is bothering you. This could involve an older woman that is bothering you and your person steps in to help before it gets too far. It won’t be anything too serious, just a misunderstanding between you and this older lady, where she is the aggressor. This might take place in a work environment where your manager will be antagonizing you and they step in simply because they can’t stand to see someone be mistreated. It is also possible that your future spouse won’t step in to help you in this conflict. This could be the cause because they see how well you can handle yourself, so they kind of hesitate but still keep an eye out so that nothing goes too far. Now, this conflict could be a long time coming as you have bottled up your emotions thus far through all of the mistreatment and unfairness. The saying “The straw that broke the camel’s back” comes to mind.

Also, for very few of you this could be a misunderstanding between you and your fs in the first meeting.

When?

This is just a confirmation of everything said before. You are feeling trapped in a situation with someone else and are being led to take action. You probably gave this person the benefit of the doubt so many times, but something just finally snapped. With that being said the months that are being highlighted here are November, March, and June.

How?

You might relocate due to a new job opportunity. I see you kind of getting back on your feet after some kind of loss. Specifically I feel like you’ll be moving somewhere that is known for its diversity. You will be wanting to nurture yourself after this hard time in your life, being held down by circumstances for so long. More specifically you could be going somewhere that is good for your spiritual/physical health, such as: a spiritual retreat, a temple, a spa, a resort etc. You could run into this person there. You will actually end up making friends with this person at first because you two may relate in some ways regarding your spiritual journey. You both could have a history of depression or anxiety, come from similar backgrounds, or be of the same sex.

When?

You will definitely be coming out of a bad period of (possible) depression. The good news though, is that you will absolutely be thriving when this person enters your life. Although you may be a bit unstable still, trying to find your footing, you’ll be well on your way. For extra confirmation: you may be the kind of person that has that extreme view of having to completely uproot your life to “start over”. Some of the people in this pile may be recovering addicts and learning to trust themselves again. Months December, October and August are highlighted here.

How?

I think a friend will set you and your person up on a blind date. They might think that you work too hard even though you’re already successful. Around the time this happens you may express to them wanting to be in a relationship, but never actually taking action to do so. So they take it into their hands and offer their help, whether you want it or not (I see them as kind of pushy and excitable). Your friend reminds me of Elle Woods from ‘Legally Blonde’. This may be a blind date or them just dragging you out of your comfort zone to have fun out and about. I also want to point out that your future spouse could be someone that you already know, meaning they would have already been aware of you(and vice versa) because of mutual friends. You may just know or recognize them in passing.

When?

Again, you will be experiencing a time of financial abundance. You will be guided to do something outside of your normal routine by a friend. You could be a workaholic and have one of those routines where you only go to work and then straight back home(same lol), so they suggest something different. The Summer months are highlighted in your spread: August, June and July.

How?

You will meet your future spouse through a family member, I think it will be someone from your father’s side of the family. It could be an emotional event, such as a wedding of one of your family members, and your person happens to be one of their guests. This means that they could be a friend of your family or the person they will get married to. Whatever this event is could take place in a different city, state, or even country then where you are on a daily basis(destination wedding). You could not get along with some of your family and have worries about your person being told bad things about you(really random but it's here). 

When?

The months present are April, November, and September. This time of your life will be quite restless feeling. You could be stuck in a “I miss those days” kind of mentality because not much will be working out for you when this person comes into your life. You are not satisfied with your circumstances.

~~~

More coming soon, I promise lol

[collegetennisoriginstory]

So, I was romancing Sam on every playthrough but decided to branch out finally, and now I have a tier list; ‼️Potential spoilers‼️

Tobin: By far my favorite RO. I typically don't like the archetype of "brooding ro and their charming ro counterpart" It just doesn't interest me as someone who has seen a lot of het romances employ this trope. But giving Tobin the chance they deserve and finding that I like how they respond to my MC's own flirtatious nature and then discovering how they feel about my MC being the same gender, just adds an extra layer of interest for me that I appreciated. They're kind, considerate, and very thoughtful of their friends. Very quickly blew the rest of the competition out of the water for me. I think their mindset when it comes to tennis explains why they're not the no.1 Seed despite being the captain of the team, and it honestly surprised me. I think the full weight of their route is explored best when MC is similarly looking to go pro as it parallels Rayyan nicely. Their kidness is the space they give you is born from experience and the fear of doing to MC what was done to them and I just eat that stuff up. Also it is very rare to have a black RO who is treated with any level of depth, and I just 🥹love that we Tobin.

Rayyan: In a surprise twist, Rayyan gets the second spot for similar reasons as Tobin. I think the enemies to friends to lovers(partners) arc that is presented in their story is intriguing. Like Sam, they have a level of history with the MC that makes them familiar when heading into the new space, so I made it a habit to stay near them when at all possible. Rayyan isn't particularly cold, or as cold as ppl might assume, I think they have a very good balance of being a sort of quiet and reserved person that still manages to be personable. I feel that playing like I do, my MC might've come off as flippant to them, which only adds to the anxiety that they feel going into this season. Their struggle of being visually Arab in a world and country that sees non whiteness as punishable is very felt. It's really special to me that the two most prominent ROs are dark skinned people of color. Sorry for being biased, but even when I wasn’t actively romancing them, they got major points for that.

Sam: My baby gets the third spot and I think that's fair. What i adored about Sam is the pining of a friends to lovers story. I never make the first move with Sam, despite playing very flirty, bc I see my MC with not having to put up a front with Sam. So the things they do or say that signify to others that my MC is looking for something physical aren't used with Sam; they believe MCs closeness with them is strictly platonic while my MC believes that Sam has been lightly rejecting this whole time. Just something about those missed connections get to me. (Also, the varcity jackets!? So cute) Now, Sam loses points due to being away at another university for a majority of the story thys far. Which made me wonder if placing them in a new environment with MC might change things for them. Everything IS different now; so, who is to say that their relationship hasn't run its course? Juicy, but due to lack of presence, I'll keep them at 3rd.

G: They're French. Automatically, a point is taken off. They're also very sexy as a woman (my MC is a they/them lesbian) so I felt that, to remain true to character, I would have to ignore that and see what G has going on. Ngl, they do sort of play out like a romance novel character in the most obvious way so far 😭 no hate though. I just couldn't not think about "Oh, you sexy French student." Whenever they said anything. Smoldering looks from across the room at a crowded college party, like okay 400 days of summer <3. I think they're rather perfect for players who are looking for some steam outside of the locker room. They have the same issue as Sam, as in, they're not present in the locker room. They're not our teammate, so we don't really get the same level of relationship building with them as u would a Rayyan or Tobin. And I don't think that's a bad thing necessarily. I feel that speaks to the amount of work put in to make the team feel real and not just thrown together characters. Once I started to romance my teammates, I found it hard to flirt with anyone else, as I felt that they just didn't understand my MC on the same level.

Felix: ngl, they'd have to get security to get me off them, I have this burning rage in my heart whenever they show up. "🤼‍♂️ This is for Tobin, Cakepop‼️" I am sure there is indeed depth to them as a character, I am sure it hurts to hear someone say "I can not love you the way you want me to." And we are only human, we don't always behave the way we want to. But Felix makes my nipple itch they just remind me of men who just hold this anger for their exes unreasonably. I think there is an interesting parallel to be found in a Tobin route MC and Felix. I just don't have the language to put it together bc I will never romance them and I don't think I ever will, personally just can't bring myself to do so. They are what I felt Rayyan would be, and I'm fine with meeting them with hostility.

All in all, I'm glad I branched out to see what the other ROs were like it's definitely a testament to ur hard work and is greatly appreciated. I will continue to be messy and kiss Tobin, Rayyan, and Sam because I am toxic aim to be a learning experience, not a lover 🫶🏽

Oh my god~ It was so interesting to see your gradual evolution / journey through pursuing the different ROs.

I think it's really interesting in particular to see how Tobin's character is sort of 'hidden' beneath multiple layers, and you have to really work at unpeeling those layers, and it's really rewarding as a writer to see that route 'give' readers so much unexpected joy.

And, of course — I have a soft spot for stoic / unexpressive, overly-competitive, serious characters who are secretly just a giant sap. For Rayyan in particular, I think their drive to excel at tennis is counter-balanced against their loyalty, their ride-or-die-ness with the people they love. I love the extra bit of psychoanalysis that you did regarding Rayyan's anxiety about MC not taking tennis seriously, which is fine on its own, but really becomes an issue if they're partnered.

Sam having less 'screen-time' than the others is totally fair, and I think (or hope) will be made up for by the sheer amount of history they share.

As for the whole "French sexy" stereotype, I actually do think this is a crucial part of G's arc. The idea that perhaps they both see each other as 'archetypes' at the start (the jock-fling during one's exchange year, the sexy french exchange student), and then as they start understanding each other as real people, and then as they start (possibly) falling in love with each other (with all the eccentricities, all the imperfections), the relationship takes on more depth and dimension.

Finally, thank you so much for taking the time to explore all these different routes, and I'm so glad that doing so was rewarding for you :) I absolutely loved reading this message, so thank you also for sharing! It's always so fun listening to how different MCs, or different MC choices, and just different readers in general — have different takes on the ROs!

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon ep 154 spoilers n thoughts n all that yeah

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HE DID THE THING HE DID THE >:3 THING YESS YAYYYY YAYAYAYAYY HAHAHAHAA

GOD HES SO FUCKING SILLY WAHAHAHA

jesus christ running from the cops every which way LMAO i really like their faces here javier w exasperation and lloyd just. being him

AND THE UGLY COSPLAYER BIT WHAT 😭 HELP LOL?? i guess cosplayers walking around isnt really a common thing in korea idk i feel like. they didnt really commit an offense until lloyd tried bribing that cop guy lol

like it makes me think back to dkc and how michael and the other guy (I FORGOT HIS NAME SORRY) went to seoul for a bit and kind of caused several accidents and i feel like that fits better w getting the cops attention compared to,,, rummaging thru trash? but also i am not familiar w korea's police system! nor do i know their policies on foreigners n whatnot so who am i to say yknow

i also really really wish that besides the cop chasing, we got to see a lil bit more of javier's reaction to seoul and its citizens, the clothing and the culture and how the buildings look, what does he think of them? whats his feelings on an environment so dissimilar to his own, and does he notice anything abt it that reminds him of lloyd and his sudden acquisition of all his knowledge? maybe theres more of that in the webnovel,,, itll be a while before i get there tho unfortunately

anyways thoughts aside more reacting

UUUAGHHHH JAVIER NOTICING EVERY SINGLE TIME LLOYD APPEARS SICK OR UNWELL BUT LLOYD BRUSHING IT OFF. EXPLODES INTO TEN BILLION PIECES. AAGHH AAGHHHH AAGHH screaming crying god that engineer needs a god damn hug

also them in civilian clothes! they look so dorky lmao the hats r super cute tho AND I REALLY LIKE THAT JAVIER HAS GLASSES THATS SO SILLY how can he see though wouldn't it be like vaguely blurry . most glasses are prescription,,, tho they did find this stuff discarded so maybe theyre just,,, decorative??? do people still wear decorative glasses???

i have more thoughts on their attire but it coincides with some thoughts i have for the latter half of this ep so i'll bring it up then!

THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE EPISODE THE MOUNTAIN TRAIL AAGHHH AAAHHH

i started tearing up oh my FUCKING god i feel so insane ohhhhhhhh ohhhhhhh my heart ohhghhh

trying to keep his bluff up all the way through even though he's visibly struggling im gonna throw up im gonna throw up

most if not all the panels in this latter half of the episode make me feel like this so i'll try not to be repetitive and jump straight into my thoughts LMAO

i think the way lloyd is drawn in these panels is really, REALLY well done, and not in just an "oh the art looks good" kind of way, but the choices they make with the posing and the camera angle makes me feel insane

because the moment we cut to the shot where they're on the trail, we do not see lloyd's entire face at ALL. the most we see is his nose and mouth, and that makes my heart squirm like a motherfucker, because who else did we see that way in the webtoon?

kim suho, all the way at the beginning.

we don't actually get to know suho's face until way, way later in the webtoon adaptation, which is once he's way more secure in his position as lloyd frontera

so seeing this,,, it's like we're thrown back to then, it's like LLOYD is thrown back to then, back to when he was just suho kim; someone who thought of himself as nothing, as someone who just couldn't function correctly in this world, and god does my heart ache

and lloyd right now feels it too, the anxieties he once had coming right back. and i think that makes the clothing choices for lloyd specifically really impactful too, specifically upper body

the blue poloshirt is eerily reminiscent of the blue tracksuit suho used to wear, and it's the layer underneath a green jacket with a collar similar to lloyd's usual coat. it's like a reminder to the reader that once upon a time, he was just suho wearing lloyd's mask in a strange, new world. i think this experience is a reminder of that to suho, too,,,

also, the bucket hat is able to cover most if not all of his hair. in some of these panels, you can't even tell that it's lloyd underneath. it might not be the same body, with the way the camera is positioned, especially with some of them being from javier's point of view, it's like,,, "who is speaking right now? the face of lloyd frontera, or the heart of suho kim?"

and in the middle of this, we hear javier speak and ask suho if he hated his behavior, blamed himself for his anxieties, and only then do we get to see one of his eyes, but just one.

idk if the timing of this is intentional (i dont know if ANY of this direction is intentional) but id like to think that javier responding in search of clarification (rather than responding in silence or in disgust) helped suho be a little more inclined to opening up and being honest with who he was in this world. i really really like that

AND THIS ARGHHH ARGHHH AAAHHHHH ROLLING AROUND ON THE FLOOR LIKE A PILLBUG HAVING A SEIZURE AGHHHH

it makes it so so telling that he's the type to live for others, he always has been, to the point of being a workaholic. a quiet, good kid, trying to make amends for the struggles he has by burdening himself with the responsibility of protecting his parents names, of protecting the people he loved. he's done that since the beginning and he keeps doing that over and over and over, both here on earth and there in lorasia.

it makes me so upset (in a character drive way! not in a "this is bad" way) that he thinks of himself as nothing without this responsibility, when this ability to move forward and endure and fight for people is something beautiful in and of itself. it's not every day that you meet people like this, selfless and hardworking and tenacious to their core. back then he encapsulated his identity based on his inability to function in a world that requires social and physical interaction - something that isn't his fault! - and while he was able to move past that in lorasia, he was thrown back to this encapsulation once in seoul. he started to think of himself as "suho in lloyd's body" again, instead of "i am lloyd frontera" as he said before his "bluff" failed. MY HEART HURTS.

and i think that's why javier's concluding note, that in the knights eyes he is just the same person, is so impactful too.

because javier doesn't see lloyd based on his anxiety. he sees him for who he is. someone who protects the people he cares about. someone who is brilliantly cunning, quick on his feet, rational and brave and tenacious tenacious tenacious. for all the things suho admitted to javier, these truths haven't changed for the knight. he's the same person.

javier sees a guardian. javier sees kim suho.

AND THAT is what gets suho to his feet and we finally see his full face again. AND OOHHHH THE LOOKS THEY GIVE EACH OTHER AGHHHH AHHH

the marks of tears streaked on his face but he's smiling with so much renewed energy and javier softly smiling back IM GONNA THROW UPPPP THESE TWO MEAN THE WORLD TO MEEEE AHHHHHH AAAAAAHHHHHH

exploding. exploding. exploding. exploding. exploding.

anyway that's all (for now. if you see me on twitter i might still be agonizing over this /pos) i will SEE YOU NEXT WEEK! i hope we get a cool view from namsan tower and javier reacting to that that'd be nice :3 ANYWAYS BYE

[alchemie-tarot]

Cold Moon Pick-A-Card: What is Coming To A Close In Your Life?

Here’s to the last full moon of 2022. She invites us to look back on everything that transpired this year, especially the events that had us face our shadows. Transformation can often take place in darkness. Know that it gets brighter from here. ✨🌕✨

Feel free to choose the pile/s that call out to you. Some details may not resonate with you since this is a general reading. As always, nothing is set in stone, so please don’t take it too seriously.

Extra: The Justice card was at the back of the deck before I started shuffling. When I was still warming up, shuffling without intention, Justice dropped from the deck. She is a general theme for the piles of this reading. She has our backs.

Extra (2): Featuring my photographic attempts to capture Miss Mama Moon.

Pile 1

Cards: King of Pentacles, 5 of Wands, 3 of Pentacles

Right away I see that this is about your work, or something you’re putting a lot of effort into. You’ve established yourself in this place, but lately it feels rigid, like there’s hardly any room to breathe. “No freedom” came to me quite strongly. This could be a lucrative pursuit you have lost your passion for. For others, it could also be something you pursued for the sake of financial stability and security, but now you feel that it’s time to move on to something you genuinely like and flourish in. 

There seem to be voices in your head pulling you in different directions, arguing with each other. For most, though, I feel that it’s more so from your surroundings that are affecting you than your thoughts. Has someone been disrupting your space lately? They seem to be driven by self-interest. Your environment could be tense and filled with clashing egos, or some of your peers are threatened by your power. Either way, they just mess up your vibe.

Take a deep breath, Pile 1. I see that whether you decide to stay or to choose another path, you’re in for a breath of fresh air. This crowd will close its chapter in your life, and new connections will come in. They will be nothing like your previous or current peers. Collaboration is valued at a spiritual level. They will see you as someone to invest in, and you will mirror this view towards them. 

They could be older or more experienced in the field that you choose. In fact, you’re likely to find a mentor in them. They will bring you to places you haven’t been, I feel. It’s really up to you where.

This is the speediest and most straightforward interpretation I’ve ever done for a pile so far. I feel like you will realize quickly when these people come around, or they will approach you right away.

===

Pile 2

Cards: 9 of Swords, King of Pentacles, The Fool

Are you having a hard time getting some good sleep lately? Something seems to be keeping you awake or has been giving you unpleasant dreams. I could sense an almost tangible anxiety around this trauma. I believe it’s related to money or something material that’s important to your security. 

Some of you may have been carrying a responsibility like this on your shoulders quite early on in your life, and it has taken its toll on you. For a few, I feel the energy of someone stern who may hold some power over you in your career or, again, in relation to money. It’s like they’ve been blocking you from getting any kind of breather.

Putting my arm around you, Pile 2. These things are not easy to navigate at all. I hope I can ease your worries somehow, since this reading is about things in your life that are coming to an end. 

The big break you’ve been waiting for is not so far from your horizon. It will feel like the brightest of new beginnings. Seriously, you’re moving from the bleak darkness of worry that never seemed to end, and into broad daylight where you can see the land across you for miles. Your burdens would be made light and, perhaps for the first time in a long time, you’ll be able to throw your cares in the air and think about yourself. 

I feel the need to add: when I shuffled for this pile, the first card deliberately slipped out of the deck without falling. It took me a few seconds to decide if I was going to get it. The same happened with the rest of the cards. I felt unsure even in the order I was going to lay them on. This new beginning may unfold slowly and you may find yourself going from hopeful to fearful, back and forth, worrying if things are on the right track.

Please take it easy on yourself and know that it’s normal to have moments of doubt especially after you’ve been through a heavy situation. Every little glimmer of hope contributes to the new foundation you’re making. You will get there. 

When you do, you will feel like a child. What felt like years of torment will gradually return to you in the form of healing. Instead of a mountain to climb, your next step will feel like the start of an adventure.

===

Pile 3

Cards: 2 of Cups, 3 of Pentacles, Knight of Swords

Okay, I feel like you have already got a lot of abundance in your hands. I see that you’re quite gratified within a relationship or a kind of partnership that’s close to your heart. You’re busy with projects you enjoy working on, with people who admire and trust your abilities in your team. You’re surrounded by energies who lift you up and encourage you to be productive.

Not gonna lie, this is not the kind of scenario I expected to see in a reading about something coming to a close in your life. These three cards came all together and I had a distinct sense to order them this way. I was dumbfounded at first glance. At the same time, I don’t feel like it necessarily means that your auspicious situation will come to an end. Fortunately, the third card explains what’s on its way to you.

The Knight of Swords is all about independence. There is an opportunity for you to experience going solo. It’s more of putting some distance between you and your tribe in order to be in your own space for a while, rather than cutting ties with them.

A swift change seems to be on the way that needs you to be quick on your feet. An emphasis for you to make your own decisions. Maybe you’ve been relying a bit too much on your circle? Yes, they make you feel safe, but there’s a sense of being oblivious to the consequences of certain actions when you’re only taking account of the blissful feelings.

Again, I don’t necessarily think that what brings you joy is about to be stripped from you. This may just be a way to test your tenacity and dedication about something. It involves a lot of your inner strength. You may come face to face with your priorities. Regardless, only you can say what is meant for you deep down. Hold on to that.

===

Pile 4

Cards: 6 of Wands, 6 of Pentacles, 10 of Wands Rx, 10 of Cups

An extra card jumped out. What are the odds that a pair of Sixes and then a pair of Tens came out? That’s pretty cool.

Being generous comes naturally to you. You share what you can to people in need and these people really look up to you. This admiration makes you feel good about yourself and you take pride in being able to help others. It’s like a part of your identity now and because of that, you may think you have peaked at this position. There’s a feeling of wanting to give and give on behalf of everybody. Because of the little attention you genuinely turn to yourself, you may be on the brink of burnout without knowing it. You could even be denying it.

You’re not solely a giver, Pile 4. There is no need for you to prove this about yourself over and over. We already know it. You need to refocus because I feel like you’re having a problem disengaging from this role. If you persist in this mindset, it will end up doing more harm than good. It’s safe for you to express how you truly feel. It’s okay to acknowledge that you need support, too.

All the noble deeds you have done will return to you tenfold. True, stable, and long-term harmony in all fields awaits you. You care so much for others, but now you need to be open to receive. The people you have lent a hand to would happily return the favour. Letting this go will help your innate abundance spread more evenly to everyone– and yes, that includes you, too. You deserve it most of all.

===

Thank you for taking the time to interact with this reading. Feel free to share and let me know how you found it, if it resonated or not, etc. Don’t be shy to send me feedback or details about it, if you’d like. I would really appreciate it!

Take care always! ✨🌕✨

[kyouka-supremacy]

I usually like to imagine that Beast! Sskk's relationship is just as intense and, if not, even more tumultuous than than canon! Sskk, but the other part of me says they get together quicker (whether they work together as partners quicker or simply become boyfriends quicker, your pick) entirely because I find the prospect of the beast! ADA interaction with Beast! Atsushi so funny

Like on one hand, Atsushi is known as the White Reaper of the Port Mafia, one of the most terrifying and ruthless assassins. But he also has the personality of a very skittish cat that stands in corner of the room and does not talk to people aside from stare at them (its the anxiety) but since he masks his usual emotions so much he just looks really menacing.

And on the flip side the ADA cherishes Akutagawa; they trust him and they believe in his intuition, so if Akutagawa assured them that there is no harm in Atsushi's presence, then surely they have nothing to worry about, right? Yeah but they forget Akutagawa's weird as fuck and finds companionship in the most questionable people, so they should've figured to prepare themselves in advance

So now there are rules in the ADA regarding Atsushi when he is in their building:

1.) Akutagawa needs to stay in the room and keep atsushi company for everybody's mental health (so many weapons came out in the 3 minutes it took for Akutagawa to go to the cafe for a snack and come back)

2.) Dont stare tiger boy in the eyes too long he'll get defensive (at least he was kind enough to repair the broken wall in the agency office)

3.) Dont turn the lights off when he's in the room he blends too well in the dark (everyone had at least 2 heart attacks cause they couldn't see or tell he was there)

4.) Dont take photos of him he'll know when the camera is pointed at him (fukuzawa tried to video him playing with the trinkets and Akutagawa's desk and he got so embarrassed he left and ghosted everyone for a few weeks)

5.) Dont comment on the amount of sugar he takes (emotional support sugar packets for his coffee. Same incident as rule.4)

6.) If sskk does some out of pocket homoerotic enemies type shit, ignore them. They're not gonna stop. (Ada made a betting pool, and it keeps pooling in more money. Akutagawa doesn't know its existence yet)

Okay first of all Anon THANK YOU I LOVE YOU WITH EVERYTHING I'VE GOT LITERALLY NOTHING IS GOING TO EVER GIVE ME AS MUCH JOY AS OPENING MY ASKBOX TO SEE A LONG ASK TALKING ABOUT BEAST SSKK. DAY WEEK MONTH ABSOLUTELY MADE I LOVE YOU FOREVER.

Second of all Beast ada is SO unhinged, they all literally went “this is our little murderous wet dog of a new member and this is his doubly murderous catboyfriend”. I love the set of rules, in my mind Kunikida actually wrote them down and hang them next to the door of Fukuzawa's office, hoping it could help avoid confusion in the office as much as possible. They are updated occasionally. I love Atsushi being... Completely unstable like yeah that's literally everything Beast Atsushi is (on the verge of breakdown / violent panic attack 24/7). Like he IS a feral cat he IS going to launch at you and scratch your face. And I LOVE how Akutagawa's presence instantly calms him because??? It would??? Because they have this unmatched connection and Atsushi knows no one understands him as deeply as Akutagawa does, and that at least is comforting and soothes him and makes him feel safe. + major abandonment issues that will have him quietly (and then not so quietly) spiral into panic as soon as Akutagawa is gone and he's left alone in an environment he's not familiar with. I'm dying at the idea of Atsushi ghosting the ada for weeks on more than one occasion that's such a dysfunctional behavior and that's so him I love it. I love all of these brilliant spectacular showstopping thank you so much Anon I owe you my life

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Logan Lancing

Published: Feb 28, 2024

People who have escaped cults all tell a similar story. That story starts with a desire to belong, coupled with a desire for purpose. Strong familial and social bonds are generally preferable to shaky relationships, isolation, and the feeling of being an outcast. Likewise, feeling like one’s life lacks any meaning or purpose is a recipe for anxiety, depression, or even madness. If you talk to people who have escaped cults, they all tell you that they didn’t set out to join a cult—the cult set out to prey on them, offering to fill the voids that we must all grapple with, to varying degrees, throughout our lives. The cult offers inclusion, affirmation, and a secret cult knowledge of life’s purpose. All one must do is take the leap of faith.

Cults are incredibly effective for a variety of reasons, most of which is their ability to lead initiates deeper into the cult, even when those initiates start to sense that the “inclusion,” “affirmation,” and “purpose” offered to them comes with some very nasty conditions and ultimatums. Cult survivors describe how difficult it is to stop placing one foot in front of the other when the cult has total control of one’s physical, social, and emotional environments. Cults work tirelessly to control all information entering an initiate’s eyes and ears. Cults control the books you can read, the news you can watch, the organizations you can trust, the experts you must listen to, and the people you confide in. The cult environment is one of endless propaganda designed to be so effective that one loses control of their own thoughts; loses control over the voice in their head.

Once an initiate finds themselves in the cult’s totalizing environment (see Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism by Robert Jay Lifton) the cult lifts the veil of love, affirmation, and inclusion and reveals a cycle of psychological abuse designed to drag the initiate deeper into the cult’s doctrine. This abuse is justified through a language of purity—initiates must let go of all the bad influences and contamination of their former lives, revealing their deepest secrets through ritual confessions. The point is to strip the initiate down, leaving them totally vulnerable and exposed. Only then can the cult rebuild the initiate in the cult’s image.

Cult survivors will tell you that they often didn’t know they were in a cult until someone pierced the cult’s totalizing environment with a message from the outside; a tether to a long-lost reality; an invitation to step back into the real world. The Queering of the American Child is one such tether, and I hope parents nationwide will receive the message loud and clear: Education is in the grip of a religious cult—the Queer Cult.

Now, I don’t mean “queer” as in “gay” or “lesbian” or “bisexual.” I mean “queer” as it is defined in the academic literature of the Queer Cult’s doctrine: Queer Theory.

Unlike gay identity, which, though deliberately proclaimed in an act of affirmation, is nonetheless rooted in the positive fact of object-choice, queer identity need not be grounded in any positive truth or in any stable reality. As the very word implies, “queer” does not name some natural kind or refer to some determinate object; it acquires its meaning from its oppositional relation to the norm. Queer is by definition whatever is at odds with the normal, the legitimate, the dominant. There is nothing in particular to which it necessarily refers. It is an identity without an essence.[1] (Halperin, 1995, p. 62, italics in original)

Our children are “experiencing the queer,” as Queer Educational Activist Kevin Kumashiro explains in his 2009 book, Against Common Sense: Teaching and Learning Toward Social Justice (2nd edition). Specifically, our children are experiencing the “queer” because they have been purposefully placed in a state of psychological crisis. “Crisis,” Kumashiro says, “should be expected in the process of learning, by both the student and the teacher. Like queer activism, queer teaching always works through crisis…the goal is to continue teaching and learning through crisis—to continue experiencing the queer.”[2] (Kumashiro, 2009, p. 55)

The Queer Cult has total control of our national discourse as it relates to sex, “gender,” and sexuality. Our children are fed a steady diet of cult doctrine through mainstream media, social media, popular culture, the psychiatrists they consult, and the doctors their parents trust. Not least of which, our children attend schools that universally push the idea that children can be “born in the wrong body.” America’s children learn that they have “gender identities” that might not match their “sex assigned at birth.” A Medical Industrial Complex waits in the wings with irreversible puberty blockers, cross-sex hormones, and “gender affirming” surgeries.

The social and emotional pressures to conform to the Queer Cult’s corrupted understanding of reality are hard to bear. Most people know that “radical gender ideology” is insane, but they go along with it because they don’t want to be considered a “bad person,” “on the wrong side of history,” or worst of all, a “conservative.” The cult’s moral extortion racket is designed to drag us deeper into their agenda; deeper into what Queer Activist Michael Warner calls a “queer planet.”[3] However strong the pressure may be, we must remain tethered to reality—not only for ourselves, but especially for our children. As we say in the book,

[Queer Activists] believe they can arrest the steering wheel of History and drive us all off the ledge. Under normal circumstances, all of this nonsense would be cause for endless mockery and laughter. Unfortunately, Queer Activists have proved to be remarkably effective. Today, they already have one hand on the wheel, and our kids are in the car.[4]

In The Queering of the American Child you will learn what Queer Theory is, where it comes from, how it got into schools, and what it’s attempting to do with your children. You will learn that Queer Theory has nothing to do with helping gay kids, and nothing to do with helping troubled children feel “included” in a healthy set of societal norms. Letting the cultists speak for themselves, Dr. James Lindsay and I bring in hundreds of citations to lay bare the Queer Cult’s agenda. Our schools are initiating children into the Queer Cult through psychological manipulation and child abuse. What you read will shock you, and that’s a good thing. Welcome back to reality.

--

References

[1] Halperin, D. M. (1995). Saint Foucault: Towards a gay hagiography. Oxford University Press. (p. 61) [2] Kumashiro, K. K. (2009). Against Common Sense: Teaching and Learning Toward Social Justice (2nd ed.). Routledge. (p. 55) [3] Warner, M. (1991). Introduction: Fear of a queer planet. Social Text, (29), 3–17. [4] Lancing, L. and Lindsay, J (2024) The Queering of the American Child: How A New School Religious Cult Poisons the Minds and Bodies of Normal Kids. New Discourses. (p. 65)

[tordenvejr]

Hi! a few years ago, I messaged you about some of my anxieties about stagnating because I was too scared to grow out of childhood. You offered me some kindness and wise words that I haven't forgotten. I wanted to thank you for that and share that I'm finally taking the first steps towards the kind of independence that I've dreamed of!! My heart's still breaking that I might upset my mother, but I'm trying to find a balance between that and the joy of of having my own space. From what you've shared here, you seem to have worked hard to maintain a loving relationship with your family that still has strong boundaries in place, and I really aspire to that. Thank you for sharing your wisdom here!!! I appreciate the example you provide 🧡 sending you lots of love

i so appreciate you taking the time to share this update with me 🤍🤍🤍 i'm so happy to hear that you're moving towards what you want! and so proud of you!!! i understand, it takes a lot of will to do on a practical level and then there's the emotional aspect undernearth with the ache of going against what is known and familiar. and releasing the hooks that were formed in childhood of enmeshment with our family/environment, and letting a new way of relating and connecting take its place. i absolutely have and continue to! i appreciate you recognizing that (-: it definitely doesn't mean i always feel seen, heard and honored when i do, but then my work is not letting their inability to meet me where i need to be met be reason for me to dismiss or invalidate myself. if i feel my line has been crossed, then i can take space, i can choose what if anything i want to engage with the person about. if my boundary is being pushed then my work is not to give up on it to make things easier for others, but to emphasize and stand by it. that doesn't mean it doesn't fill me with anxiety at times because it certainly can, but i still do it because i am not going back to a place of mistreating and disrespecting myself in the name of appeasing other people. it does not mean the urge to put others first doesn't come, but i can make it through the 15 minutes (or hours) of doubting my right to boundaries and wondering if i am a horrible person for having them — and in the end it doesn't dictate my choices. i know your situation is different, i'm sharing this because i don't want to give you the idea that i am perfect (not saying you're saying this in any case, but my point stands) at it or that i (or you) have to be. you are further along than you might think, i'm sure ⭐️ i wish you all the best!

[looniecartooni]

Henchmen for Hire Update 3 (I don't think anyone really reads these)

I am having trouble finding the character color pallets with the markers I have, so I bought some new ones as well. I could just look for the colors digitally, but that seems like too much effort for wittle old pencil and paper person me. I might just go digital when I discover how much paper costs and how I probably over consume it.

Oh- and the female protagonist has a name now. Her name is Claire B. Ellody (B stands for Bunnie. Get it because magicians and rabbits. My 1 am brain thought it was funny). She is a 24 year old magician who only knows card tricks and whose only magic power is that if danger tries to hit her, she can easily dodge it. However, despite knowing nothing can truly, physically hurt her, she still gets very scared. I mean- anyone would get anxiety from pointy things coming at them, right? (Its kind of a Scooby Doo situation where despite you knowing what the logic usually is, you still think its the illogical thing) (Also- poor girl has pre-packaged trauma).

She will learn to improve as the series progresses (as one might expect from a story), along with her best friend who happens to be an ancient deity- like person that wears giant dorky glasses. Why the glasses? Because I am obsessed with glasses characters even though they can be problematic You'll find out. He does need them for everyone else's safety. I have a list of names I am debating for him. The person that named him has a name already, but now I'm trying to figure out what the heck he'd name him. Requires more playing around to figure it out. Definitely needs to do with rocks.

He's a fun guy. He can manipulate rocks and the environment around him. Buuuuut he'd prefer to attack you with stalagmites if you dare try to cross him. He just... really likes spikes for some reason... some reason you might learn when you read Henchmen for Hire! (whenever the heck it comes out and if people even like it. I like it- does that count for anything?)

Feel free to ask me questions if you are at all interested in what I might come up with in the next couple of... months? Hopefully soon. I will be graduating from college and my family really wants me to get settled with an in person, well paying job (keep pushing Veterinarian when I'm graduating with an Art History degree). But I will try my best to publish Henchmen for Hire so long as people are interested in it. So please- inquire away if you can.

[chloeinletters]

Hello! I'm wondering if you'd be willing to answer a couple of my questions regarding writing. I've been feeling so stuck recently since I've had to drop out of school for financial reasons :( P.S. I admire you and your writing so much <3

Do you consider your main genre of writing to be creative non-fiction? We have similar writing styles, but I've been unable to classify what I've been putting on the page.

What advice do you have for someone who wants to start freelancing with no article writing or blog experience? What kind of projects should I be looking for and how should I create a portfolio with nothing to show?

Thank you!

I'm sorry you had to drop out. That environment is irreplaceable but I hope you know it's not impossible to grow as a writer without it! It's just different! and I mean that in a good way. Most of my growth happened outside of school. I know it doesn't make it all better, but I wanted you to know that I had an unconventional journey as well. I dropped out for a year for mental health reasons and it took me six years to complete my degree. So you're not alone! Anyway to answer you questions.

I consider it creative nonfiction yes. Everything I write unless specified or obvious speculation is stuff that has happened to me. My mind doesn't really work to create fiction truthfully! Every creative writing class we had to do it in I was like banging my head against a wall.

My advice would be to write a few articles or pieces for your own personal blog so you have a bit of a portfolio. when I was taking courses my teachers were saying list everything when you begin. Like it doesn't matter if its your own personal blog or whatever just list it. If they check the owner of the blog they check but then you at least have something on a resume that says hey I have XYZ experience. Do not hold back on your experience. I also had someone write out my resume with me after I graduated and we started by listing like every possible accolade I could think of. Do that for yourself too you'd be surprised what you've already accomplished even if it seems to you insignificant.

Go to Chill subs and make an account. This is like the best possible resource I wish I had it when I first began. Its a database of like genuine publications that arent just going to have your stuff sitting in their submission database for 3 years. it's user-submitted and suggested and runs on donations. But it's phenomenal if you want to begin following and finding literary mags, zines, or websites taking submissions. You can sort it by prestige of the publication if it's intimidating to submit somewhere "big" they have like up-and-coming to Paris review level. There are a lot of filters its just great. That is the one thing I would truly take away from this. USE CHILL SUBS!

What to look for is an interesting question. Look for the projects that excite you. Often literary pubs will give a theme. Notice which ones get the gears turning for you. If you were to write something right now what theme would entice you? Love? Friendship? growing up? What stories do you like to read the most and what do they all have in common? Lean into those things and write as much as you want about what you uncover. tell the same story three times three new and different ways. There are people who have made careers out of writing about friendship. You do not need to venture anywhere you don't desire to go. Personally, I love writing about love and mundanity. The everyday is so boring to some people but to me its beautiful and I write about it anyway. it took a few years for me to realize this and to feel good about doing what I wished, but it's worth it. Any anxiety that I have about writing the same thing over and over is remedied by the fact that stories set in the more we tell them. They get better and more poignant.

Best of luck to you. You can do this. You already have everything you need to do it.

[kirstinmdarling]

Shifts & Zodiacal Release

Back into to world and continuing the last stint of paving my way in the Sun phase of life...is something. Realizing that I can find something that is mundane but fulfills my need to speak loud and unabashedly is far more anxiety inducing than I could have imagined.

The world that I left in 2020 is so different then the world i am walking into. And sure, my best like is hunkering down into my research & socializing with few on occasion. Community is important to me but in my time...when I have the spoons. Noticing that folks assume I am extroverted because of my Gemini Rising, that I see how kindness through acknowledgment matters I am finding very funny. In this area the world hasn't caught up.

Hyperverbal and caffeinated does not equal extroverted. This trailing idea almost seems like it didn't make it through the progression.

I think that the new agey language of ascension is silly and bullshit. A neo-Christian execution to try to continue the discredit of astrology. Why astrology specifically? No, its not the age of Aquarius, we are still far off form that. But there have been combinations of transits over the last several years that have created great changes and they are just taking motion. (you can read more on this is another post Titled post 2020 astrology) This is not presa the reason for this decompositional post.

There are things that you forget with your interaction becomes digitally interpersonal. How people look at you, how they pay attention. This time I am bolder with my identity, testing the waters to see how "progressive" people think they are vs how they are. I am less quiet about inequity, which I am noticing is emboldened, and in the environment that I have found is heard and desired in, maybe theory? But that is my speculations until I see if it is proven. Will the words of a company who claims, a company who does do, actually show that they really are here for it or is it conditional to a tax write off. Even if I hope to stay at this place of work and equally hope that the waves my existence causes don't muck it up to bad. Because I am seeing that I'm not in a toxic environment like my pre covid employment. With this I am getting closer to feeling like I can do on many levels. To address water issues with the backing of such a large household name, and to pay for an astrology college that will open the doors to lecturing and continue my life's work at a larger level. But again, we will see with the nodal shift. A lunar profection year really does come with speedy changes.

-K

[shinidamachu]

Whoa, thanks for your response. Well I hope you have more peaceful and NORMAL days ahead. 😂 Always fun chatting with you! ❤️

Of course! And thank you for your interest. It's nice to talk about this kind of stuff with other people, helps get rid of the anxiety. And on that note, here's a more in dept answer:

Lula was first elected president in 2002 and stayed in power until 2010, when he helped elect his successor, Dilma Rousseff. Which means that I literally grew up under the Workers' Party administration. A (center) leftist administration. An administration responsible for taking Brazil out of the Hunger Map.

"If at the end of my term, every Brazilian have the opportunity of having breakfast, lunch and dinner, I will have accomplished my life's mission." Lula, 2003, first speech as Brazil's president.

Lula's term, specifically, turned the country into the 6th biggest economy of the world. For the first time ever a metallurgical with no higher education was elected president and for the first time ever poor and black people were going to college, were going to airports, were hopeful.

"Brazilians are taken by a feeling of well-being, buying more cars, traveling more, acquiring their own houses and accomplishing dreamns until then unattainable. WE'VE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER." 2010, ISTOÉ Magazine.

I might have been a child then, but I remember it well. The concern for the environment, the very strong anti-guns policies, the inclusion of LGBT people in a society that constantly marginalized them and of Brazil as an international leader... That's the progressive environment I grew up in.

So when Bolsonaro was elected in 2018, it was quite a shock to me. Not because I didn't see his victory coming – I did and that's why I spent months dealing with the worst anxiety crisis I've ever had in my entire life – but because for the first time I was really seeing the racist, misogynistic, homophobic face of my country, something the Workers' Party administration had shielded me from in their attempt to erradicate it.

But there's no unseeing that now. It turned out the Brazil I naively thought was so gentle and accepting, so proud of its diversity, so full of love, happiness and love despite the difficulties, was... decidedly not so. The country I loved so much didn't love me and my people back. It was heartbreaking.

When Dilma Rousseff got wrongfully impeached, we knew dark times were ahead of us just by looking at who were the people happy about it and who was not.

The last six years have been hell, screaming in the dark as we watched with our hands tied a right winged and then a fascist government destroy in record time what we took more than a decade to build, like Sisyphus watching that damn boulder roll down the hill again: we're as good as starting from the scratch.

But honestly? There's something so inherently optimistic about the concept of starting over. It might sound exhausting but it's also a chance to try again and do better, to learn from past mistakes and then leave them behind.

When I look at Bolsonaro's ministers...

And at the ministers Lula has just nominated...

It's impossible not to get excited about the screaming difference. Especially concerning the Ministry of the Environment which now went from this:

To Marina Silva, one of the greatest, international acclaimed names regarding environment preservation and the fight against climate change:

Don't worry, I'm not under the impression that those guys are perfect heroes who are here to save us. Lula has made mistakes in the past. So did Dilma. But nothing – absolutely nothing – takes away from the fact that the Workers' Party indisputably has given Brazil its best years: economically, progressively, culturally.

Will they do it again? It's hard to say, especially with the terrible congress we elected. But I don't expect them to, because the next four years have got to be all about rebuilding. New mistakes will probably be made and that's inevitable but at least we're on the right path now.

You came to my inbox before and asked my what I was expecting from the new government. I replied with a joke about how after tasting four years of literal fascism all I can ask for is some well deserved normalcy and my point still stands.

But most of all, I expect to look forward to what the future holds for us after so many years of feeling hopeless. I want to feel again that we can dream. That things can change and that they do matter. I want my country to be what I once thought we were.

[elevatorelevenhatesyou]

What The Hell Is Wrong With Destiny 2 And The People Who Play It

I got bored of Destiny 2 some years ago and stopped playing just before they cut half the game out. After that, every time I thought to myself "yknow I feel like some solid shooty gameplay, maybe I should reinstall Destiny 2" I would realize that the moment of fun my memory conjured up was of some part of the game that no longer exists.

Some time ago, they decided to do a big story event where several of the in game world locations got taken over by the bad guys, and those locations would be "vaulted" and would no longer be accessible. Kind of a neat idea story-wise that I would normally even be in favor of, but in practice it just meant that all the best content got taken out of the game forever.

My favorite activities were the Escalation Protocol endless fight on Mars, the Black Armory Forges, doing jobs on the Tangled Shore so I could barter with Spider, and the two Vanguard Strikes: A Garden World and The Will of the Thousands. My favorite weapons were the Hammerhead heavy machine gun and the Kindled Orchid hand cannon.

Now I have none of those things.

I only came back to Destiny 2 when they did a big promotional Free Week, when the latest two expansion packs became available to play for free. I don't really care enough to do a thorough analysis of why, but I don't like any of the new stuff as much as the stuff that got thrown out. Rather, I want to talk about the something deeper that was a really big part of the experience of coming back to this game in its current state without having played all the lead up stuff. 

I've been playing a lot, still, even though the best stuff is gone, but it's only because of inertia. The general moment to moment gameplay is still Good. I like shooting stuff. I like the pace at which shooting stuff is broken up by tossing a grenade or shooting a giant laser. Charging up a void grenade by holding down the button for a second is viscerally impactful and I wish every game had something like that.

I was gonna praise the environment design but all the best environments were removed, and instead we get a place that's just ice, a place that's just more Hive caves, and a place that's just more Earth ruins. The paradise in disrepair of Titan, the pieced together nonsense of Mercury's Infinite Forest, the angular alien computer labyrinths of Io, the islands of space rubble tied together with rope to make up the Tangled Shore, all gone now.

Enemy design though, is actually really good most of the time. It could be better, but what's there is certainly miles ahead of most other shooty games that only pit you against generic dudes with guns. It isn't quite on the level of Vermintide 2, but it wouldn't take much to get it there. I won't go into how I'd do that though, because I'm here to complain about all this other stuff.

So yeah, the basic core gameplay loop of running around shooting guys and occasionally casting a spell, that's all pretty nice, especially with the visual and auditory polish, like the little explosions when you get headshots, and the deep thumping of hand cannons firing and such. Plus, there's a lot of varied little grinds to do that give you an excuse to go places and shoot stuff. And Then They Fuck It Up. They fuck it all up, they do it on purpose, because they want your money.

BUNGIE HATES YOU AND WANTS YOUR MONEY

So there's this thing, this concept, a psychological phenomenon, a driving force within people that can be seen in many aspects of life. They call it "Fear Of Missing Out," or FOMO, and it's a source of anxiety in many people. Advertisers may use it intentionally to get people more interested in buying that one flavor that only comes around in a specific season. It's not necessarily bad, sometimes it can push people to discover new things, but still it is anxiety, and many game developers try to avoid creating that sense in their players.

Not Destiny 2. Destiny 2 is weaponized industrial grade FOMO.

A great deal of Destiny 2's content is delivered through Seasons, which Google tells me last an average of ten weeks. Every season includes a big treasure trove of brand new loot, probably some new game mode, some new story bits but who cares, and a giant rewards track full of challenges and useful stuff like cash and upgrade materials and whatnot.

Seasons are also locked behind a pay wall called the Season Pass. The Season Pass is not cheap. I haven't done any math about this but I estimate that less than a quarter of the content added in any given season is available for free. At the end of the season, most of that stuff gets thrown away forever. If not at the end of the season, then after a few seasons. At time of writing I think some parts of the previous three(?) seasons are still available. I'm not a hundred percent sure what's still there though, because it's locked behind season passes I don't have.

All this is IN ADDITION to the Expansions, which are what you'd expect of DLC: a hefty chunk of new story, some new location to play in, and a bunch of other new stuff like gear and cosmetics and whatever.

Since there are two different ongoing sets of paid content, nearly everything new is unavailable to free players. The new story stuff, the latest game modes, and the best gear. The Beyond Light expansion introduced a new subclass and I don't get that either, because I'm now also a free player, even though I actually bought the previous two expansions, Forsaken and Shadowkeep. Incidentally, a bunch of Forsaken is now gone, so I no longer have access to a bunch of the stuff I paid for, thanks for that. Witch Queen introduced a weapon crafting thing, and surprisingly I do get that, though I only get like a quarter at best of all the crafting recipes.

Paywalled cosmetics and story is one thing, but best gear is quite another, especially in this game with all its PvP shit that they care about so much. Differences in gear are usually pretty slight though, so I'll ignore that for now. But locking all the newer game modes behind paywalls is just stupid. Don't you want the paying customers to have as many people to play with as possible?

New thing in season 18 is called Ketchcrash, some kinda thing were we invade a pirate ship in space. Sounds cool. Okay, gave it a try, it was alright, some neat little set pieces in there, can see this being a fun grind. So what rewards do I get? What comes next? Oh, nothing is next and I get no rewards, because I have to buy the season pass. Welp, guess I'll never do any of that ever again, said thousands upon thousands of free players.

They don't care. They have whales to suckle from. It speaks to a deeper sickness, an apathy that pervades the design and the playerbase. I hesitate to call it a "community." If it's a community they don't communicate very well.

NOBODY KNOWS ANYTHING AND NOBODY CARES

Hey Various Destiny Wikis And Information Resources, is it still possible to get the Archon's Thunder? I sure would like a heavy machine gun that does solar damage.

NOPE! I had to do like a half hour of research, skimming through old news articles and shit, before I found what looks to be a fucking gold farmer website confirming that this thing's not available anymore.

Where are all the wiki people?? I can tell you where they're not! THE WIKI! Yo quick question HEY DESTINY COMMUNITY, BY HOW MUCH DOES THE PUBLIC DEFENDER MOD INCREASE REWARDS FROM PUBLIC EVENTS? NONE OF YOU FUCKIN KNOW, DO YOU?

Mod's been part of the game for years but I literally couldn't find an answer to that question. It’s been around since before I started playing years ago! (I don't know exactly when it was introduced because I could not find that information either, ironically.) Whatever, it doesn't matter, or rather it doesn't matter enough to the end game grinds that all the whales are doing.

Hey Warframe Wiki I have a highly specific question about this new sniper rifle, one among hundreds of weapons in this game. It gains a buff after several consecutive headshots. Does it count the headshots separately if you hit more than one with one shot? Do you know the answer, Warframe Wiki?

oh you've got basically everything i could possibly ever need? 

even though this rifle was released last week. like seriously last week, ACTUALLY LAST WEEK, NOVEMBER FUCKING 30TH, LITERALLY LAST

WEEK

No wonder Warframe ate your fucking lunch, Destiny. You cretins.

I feel like this speaks to the kind of person Destiny wants to attract. Do you care? Nobody cares. Warframe meanwhile has all the chuunibyous who are extremely invested and passionate and joyful. Warframe sucks and I hate almost everything about it despite my three thousand hours of playtime in it, that's another long series of rants, but the playerbase at large actually give a shit about helping each other and making the game as fun as it can be for everyone else. There's something terribly selfish and apathetic about the way Destiny players consume content, and I think I know why that is. It's because Destiny rewards selfish behavior.

THERE’S NO I IN TEAM, AND THERE’S NO U IN IT EITHER

Competition is everywhere. First of all, out of the basic daily grinds available at the tower, ONE is Co-op, and THREE are PvP. So, that says something. Also, certain quests require you to get kills against players, so PvP is forced (Hey go fuck yourself Malfeasance). I absolutely fucking hate this. But more than just having a really big PvP focus in terms of game modes, competition is built into the fabric of the basic gameplay. There's actually almost no cooperation at all. You CAN cooperate, but the mechanics don't actually incentivize it. In most cases, they discourage it.

The vast majority of daily quests take the form of "Get certain number of kills with X" such as with a specific weapon type, damage type, with grenades, melee, headshot kills, stuff like that. There are also a bunch of skills and perks and armor mods that work off kills, like spawning orbs of light or elemental wells on kill, weapons that gain temporary buffs on kill, etc. But the thing is, "on kill" only works when YOU get the final blow, which means when you have three players together doing the same activity, they're competing with each other for getting the last hit on enemies, whether it's for gun calibration bounties or just because it makes your gun reload faster.

You can revive teammates when they go down, but you hardly have to. It's not like the enemies are dangerous enough that you really need three guns to handle them. In most places there's only a five second wait before someone can revive themselves. Even when it increases that time it's still only up to about thirty seconds, and in higher difficulties there are even mechanics that PREVENT you from reviving teammates. Because cooperation? This sucks.

Compare to Warframe again, Warframe builds a lot of mechanics really haphazardly, but they still somehow manage to make reviving teammates a basically desirable thing to do, and there are a lot of area buff abilities on certain frames. They all have pretty big areas, which is useful since warframes jump around a lot and are really fast. There are also tons of enemies, even infinite enemies in many cases, so getting 150 kills with Magnetic Damage or whatever is pretty chill no matter how many people you're playing with, unless one of them is Volt and he's doing that constantly zap everybody in a six mile radius build.

Compare to Vermintide, a REAL co-op game, where the entire thing is built around cooperation. Special enemies can disable players who are by themselves which makes staying with the team necessary for survival. Enemies are uniformly potentially dangerous and they come from any direction. The characters talk to each other and have fun banter. AND there are lots of big area buff abilities.

Meanwhile in Destiny 2's main co-op modes players are constantly at odds with each other. There's not even a penalty for running ahead and leaving your teammates behind. In fact, the game will teleport THEM to YOU if you go too far ahead. There's a healing grenade which I don't think I've ever seen used even once. Warlocks can drop healing wells, but they're small and don't make a big fuss so allies may not see you do it, and even if they did it's on them to come and get the buff, not on the warlock to put the buff near their allies. Titans can make barricades but you can't shoot through them so most of the time they just get in your way because it wasn't you who dropped it so you weren't expecting it. It's all selfish design.

To some extent this is because the game is balanced to be playable solo, which is fine; solo shooters like Halo are in Bungie's blood. But then Strikes in Destiny put you in teams ANYWAY, and the mechanics aren't ready for it. Selfish behavior is rewarded constantly, and cooperative behavior isn't, so the playerbase is subtly nudged towards being selfish and apathetic. I think this is why nobody bothers to make comprehensive wikis with detailed information.

But here's where it comes back around to being about money.

BRING YOUR FRIENDS, BUNGIE WANTS THEIR MONEY TOO

Strikes and open world stuff forces you into playing next to other people when you don't want them and constantly remind you how much nicer this would be if you had friends to play with, but the hardest endgame content, Raids and Dungeons, DON'T. They don't merely suggest, they FORCE you to beg your friends to play Destiny with you.

One might try to argue no no no no this is about building a community, people are encouraged to actually talk to each other like human beings. Kay first of all if you want that shit so bad why are the other things all done with matchmaking then? Second of all the way I know they really desperately want new people to be able to get to Raids and Dungeons as fast as possible is because they fucking told me so.

Oops, tipped your hand there didn't you, Bungie! Behold the Gift of the Thunder Gods Treasure Chest, with its big quest marker pointing you to it. Inside they just give away for free an ENTIRE GEAR SET of Almost top level equipment, all with exactly the power requirement to do Raids and Dungeons. Most armor pieces you find lying around have an attribute total between 49 and 55, but these ALL have a nice solid 60, plus a set of three weapons, two of which are decent, and the third being THE THUNDERLORD, an extremely powerful heavy machine gun that occasionally causes giant lightning strikes. Progression? Difficulty curve? Tutorials? Story campaign? Fuck all that shit. Join up and immediately go help your whale friends do Deep Stone Crypt. Oh can't do Deep Stone Crypt because it requires the Beyond Light expansion? Don't worry, they bought it for you. How nice of them.

Thank Christ that shit finally got taken out like a few hours ago. I’m sure they’ll replace it with something similar any moment now. Or maybe they’ll wait a few months until the next season or something. I seem to remember they did something like this around the time I started playing way back; suddenly bumping everybody’s gear up to a certain power level so that new players don’t have to get used to the game before they’re roped into doing stuff.

I think this is intentional. I think Raids and Dungeons don't have matchmaking because they want to select for the people who are invested enough in the game to want to play "late game" content, and then give those a challenge that requires them to actually find people to play with, specifically so that they will go and find more people to play Destiny 2. They want all the activities to be accessible at any time because they want to maximize the amount of stuff that a new player might be roped into doing by a friend who plays a lot. They certainly don't do that for the new consumer's sake, because throwing all this shit at new players is confusing and overwhelming, not to mention makes no sense from a storytelling perspective.

ALL the grinds are long, but the late game grind for millimetric power increases and trying to get exactly the right combination of random perks or exactly the right stats on your armor is ESPECIALLY long, but more over it's EXPENSIVE, because the very best top of the ladder equipment is all price locked in expansions or seasons. Remember that solar machine gun I wanted? Are there any other solar machine guns in the entire game? Only one. It's in this dungeon, which requires the Witch Queen expansion. So basically players like me can get fucked. I find this to be horrifyingly insidious game design.

Even more insidious though is Rank Streaks. Doing these main activities earns you rank points, and you get Streaks if you play them consecutively, which increases how many rank points you get. If you go do some other activity, your streak is broken and it resets. In other words, you are rewarded for doing the same thing over and over. This is one of the worst ideas I've ever seen. It's certainly a really strong incentive to make people do the same thing over and over again, but why do you WANT people to do that? Why do you PUNISH people for wanting to do multiple activities for the variety? Is this somehow not completely backwards? Is this somehow not incredibly anti-consumer? Is this somehow not extremely toxic to the players? Especially new players, holy shit. Like fine whatever, cater to your fucking mouthbreather whales. Maybe you have enough of the dumb fucks to keep you afloat even if everybody else hates you, but your godawful community of directionless morons would be a lot healthier if you got more people to play with them. It's almost like going outside. And streaks are shared across all your characters, so you can't even have one character who does the PvP shit and another character who does Strikes. As if encouraging you to get bored of content as fast as possible wasn't dumb enough, it also forces you to mainline things you hate if you want the rewards. Not only am I forced to do Crucible and Gambit if I want the Ascendant Shards or whatever, I can't even take breaks from them because if I do I'll get punished with Even More Crucible and Gambit.

But like I said. This is selecting for a very specific type of whale. People who want variety and fun and companionship, they don't give a shit about those people. They want the people who REALLY want to get the Best Loot and want it as Fast As Possible. They want players who will do ALL the long grinds, and will pay Bungie money to let them do it faster.

And here's my last piece of damning evidence: Vaulting. Vaulting is one of the worst decisions I've ever seen a game make.

Remember what I said at the beginning about FOMO? Vaulting is how you give your entire playerbase the Fear of Missing Out, about everything, all at once, forever. Fortunately they may not ever do it again since EVERYONE hated it, except for the hardest of hardcore PvP Assholes who never do anything but crucible. THEY didn't lose shit, obviously. They even get to keep the crucible maps set on Titan and Mercury and all those other places I liked but will never see again. Fuckers.

But here's why Vaulting is so sinister. Even if they never do it again, the THREAT still looms over every part of the game now. This part of the game that you really like? This gun, or world, or mission type, or ability, or character? Guess what, it might just fucking vanish someday! Isn’t that awesome!? And we’re gonna replace it with the Cosmodrome! Or maybe with NOTHING! 

So if you want the shiny thing you'd better get it RIGHT NOW, RIGHT FUCKING NOW, GET AS MANY PEOPLE TO PLAY WITH YOU AS YOU CAN SO YOU CAN GET THE THING BEFORE WE TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU FOREVER! Oh and you'll need the season pass and the latest expansion to get most of it give us cash.

Destiny players are driven by terror like they're the fucking Black Dog Knights.

Except me, because giving up on things is my specialty. As soon as Darktide gets polished enough to run properly on my computer I'm dropping this shit and its fat fucking hundred gig ass like it was endorsed by Trump.

EDIT: I got back into playing Hades. Hades is a fantastic game. Bye, Destiny 2!

[ne-nu]

How come I've wanted to be a good surfer all my life, but now that I have the opportunity to get into it, I am indifferent to it?

ChatGPT said:

ChatGPT

That’s a really interesting and thoughtful question. It sounds like you're grappling with a shift in your motivation or enthusiasm toward something you've wanted for a long time. There are a few possible reasons this might be happening, and it’s something many people go through when their goals or dreams feel different once they’re within reach. Let’s explore a few possibilities:

1. Expectation vs. Reality

Often, when we imagine something for a long time, we picture it as being one way—exciting, rewarding, or fulfilling in a certain way. But when we finally get the chance to pursue it, the reality may not meet those expectations, or it might feel different from what we anticipated. Surfing might have always seemed thrilling and idealized in your mind, but now that the opportunity is here, it could feel less exciting, or perhaps even more challenging or daunting than you expected.

2. Fear of Disappointment or Pressure

Sometimes, when we finally have access to something we've wanted for a long time, we experience a kind of performance anxiety or fear of failure. You might feel pressure to be good at it or to live up to the vision you’ve had of yourself as a surfer. This pressure can create a sense of indifference or avoidance, as if you’re mentally guarding yourself from the potential disappointment of not living up to expectations. It’s like you’re protecting yourself from the fear of not succeeding, so you might subconsciously shut down the desire to even try.

3. Burnout or Overwhelm

If you’ve been dreaming about something for years, it’s possible that the idea of it has become more of a “distant dream” than a real goal. When you get the opportunity to pursue it, it might feel overwhelming or like there’s a lot more work involved than you initially thought. Sometimes, the sheer number of steps it takes to start something new (like learning a physical skill or investing time in training) can lead to burnout or emotional fatigue before you even get started.

4. Shifting Priorities

As we grow and evolve, our priorities and interests can shift. What you once wanted might not align with where you are in life now. Perhaps there are other aspects of your life that are taking up more mental or emotional space right now—work, relationships, other hobbies—or maybe you're realizing that your identity or passion has changed over time. It’s normal for what we value to evolve as we grow, and sometimes that means letting go of an old dream or desire.

5. Perfectionism or Self-Doubt

If you've always wanted to be a good surfer, you might have built up an idea of what it takes to succeed in it—like mastering the waves, having the perfect technique, or looking cool while doing it. But when you finally step into it, the reality might involve a lot of failure, awkwardness, or learning curves, which can feel discouraging. Sometimes, when the process feels like it won't live up to the idealized version in our head, we lose interest or feel indifferent, because it doesn’t match our expectations of perfection.

6. Psychological Reactance

This is a psychological phenomenon where, when something becomes more easily accessible or when we feel like we have to do it (because it’s now an opportunity, not just a distant dream), we might subconsciously rebel or lose interest in it. The more we feel like we “should” do something, the more we push against it, even if it's something we've wanted for years. It's kind of like the classic case of “you can’t want what you already have.”

7. Unresolved Internal Conflict

Finally, sometimes there’s a deeper internal conflict or unresolved feeling. Maybe there’s something about surfing—like its lifestyle, commitment, or even the environment around it—that no longer feels like it fits with who you are right now. You might have wanted it for so long because of a certain idea or image you had in mind, but now that it’s within reach, there might be something holding you back, like a change in your values or perspective.

How to Approach It:

Reflect on Your Why: Take some time to reflect on why you wanted to be a surfer in the first place. What excited you about it? Is it the physical challenge, the connection with nature, or the sense of freedom? Reconnecting with your original motivation could help reignite your interest.

Start Small: If you feel indifferent or overwhelmed, it might help to break things down into smaller, less intimidating steps. Maybe you could go for a casual surf lesson, or even just spend time by the water watching surfers, without any pressure to perform.

Allow Yourself to Be Okay with Indifference: Sometimes, we experience periods of indifference or hesitation when we’re at a crossroads or are experiencing a shift in our identity. It’s okay if you don’t feel that burning passion right now. You might return to it later, or you might find something else that sparks your interest.

Give Yourself Permission to Let Go: If, after some thought, you realize surfing no longer holds the same appeal for you, that’s okay too. Interests and passions can change over time, and it’s healthy to acknowledge that. Perhaps there’s something new that excites you more right now, and that’s completely valid.

[flockofdoves]

having power side view mirrors in my new car is so amazing honestly. manual side view mirrors feel kind of unsafe because i cant even reach over to adjust the right mirror on the road if its just me in the car and even when parked the back and forth of stretching to reach it makes it hard to have it perfectly adjusted

but power mirrors on the other hand its interesting the pros and cons. its still by and large a big pro because its nice to be able to open/close them without having to take my hands off the wheel for too long and its quicker which makes things like leaving parking garages less anxiety inducing. and its nice to be able to adjust all the windows and close the back ones even if a passenger forgot to close it all the way. and my laundry baskets don't knock against the window cranks and open them a little bit causing wind noises while driving

but theres little funny things i hadn't thought about that i kinda miss. like i keep having the windows open and then shutting off the car only to have to turn on the car again to close them

also i love coming home and watching all the birds in my driveway who after the initial scare of seeing a car drive in, settle down after a couple moments and just let the car be part of the environment as long as they don't see people or hear the car make noises. and i like to crack my window halfway to see and hear them better but when i did that yesterday the noise of turning down the window was loud enough that it made a blue jay half across my yard notice me

none of it barely matters (i guess except the thing people always say about being able to close windows if your car short circuits underwater?) but its making me imagine if it would eeven be practical or possible for a car to have combo electric and manual windows

[hearthandheathenry]

hi, how r u?

If u doing a reading, will love one

I m hs. Been in a new place and struggling to make friends. Made one recently, he is MS. We are close but somethings are still amiss

Want to know if my friendship or bond will grow stronger like best friends and stay? ( Not love but real good friends)

Thanks

Hey there! I'm sorry if this has been sitting for a long time, I just saw that I received an ask!

I'm doing very well, thank you for asking, and I hope your life will also get better in time! High school is hard for everyone, especially if you're in a new place, so don't forget to give yourself some grace. If it makes you feel better, I was in an abusive relationship and miserable all 4 years of highschool, and now I am married to my highschool best friend who is so kind, with a beautiful daughter and watching my dreams come true! So, even if some mistakes are made, we all come to a point in our lives where we can choose to really turn things around and go after everything we want! If you're in a position to do so, I would highly recommend doing so earlier rather than later in life, but know that things will unfold as they're meant to and you will find your power at the right time (and who knows, maybe its now!) If you would ever like some wisdom from someone whos been there and done that and experienced many things and witnessed many things, please don't hesitate to ever ask for advice! I will never give advice I am uneducated on, so I can always direct you to proper resources that may help if I dont have an answer for you. (And this goes for anyone who may want to reach out to me - you are not alone and I will always be a shoulder to lean on when needed!)

To answer your question, I do one card tarot pulls while shuffling until a card literally jumps out while I channel your question, and my guides have chosen to deliver the 9 of wands out of my deck. The 9 of wands specifically represents: "last-minute challenges on your way to your goal. You have come a long way and are determined to not give up now. With your goal in sight, you find the courage and tenacity for one final push. You have been given a last chance to prove you are worthy of success and it is up to you to rise to the challenge."

In terms of general meaning of the 9 of wands, wand cards represent action, creativity, energy, enterprise, intuition, hope, and potential. They also represent the timeframe of days, springtime (so now), and fire.

My personal interpretation of the card plus your question, is that anxiety or other factors may be affecting you and holding you back from furthering your friendship and creating lasting bonds in this new place. You are understandably nervous and unsure in such a new environment, but my age-old wisdom knows that having confidence and the strength to be yourself will get you the best results, and the most authentic and best of friends. Perhaps you haven't let your guard down with your friend, or may be fronting someone you think he will like more than your authentic self. Take a deep breath, assess your actions, and make the conscious effort to just be you, without fear of losing your friend. If he is meant to be around you, he will accept you for who you are, and will love being your best friend. The same will apply to making other new friends as well. Exude confidence, work on loving yourself, and in turn you will be magnetic and welcoming to others around you. People will feel your warmth, and authenticity is the strongest vibration we exude (seriously, there's been studies! Even stronger than love!) The universe seems to be giving you a great opportunity for self growth and achieving what you want, it just needs you to have the courage to go after it and grasp it! Its a great lesson and will help you evolve and grow in the long run.

From a personal opinion, If you miss this opportunity, don't beat yourself up too harshly. Sometimes we just aren't ready, and life will always be throwing new opportunities our way (the universe wants to see us grow!) But if you can manage to find the strength to grow into your power and overcome your fears, amazing things can happen! Best of luck to you on your journey, and don't hesitate to let me know if you need anything else!

[denisezd0]

 Academic Blog #4

If we were asked to express that there is a step between people. What would you do? Here is one of the artists I chose to analyse. Italian illustrator Davide Bonazzi's expression.

One step beyond the other

Do you go to university for knowledge or just for money in exchange for a diploma？

In the fairy tale, the candy house is a way to find your way home through the little stones, but now you can find your way to your home by giving me 0 or 1.

Davide Bonazzi is a Bologna-born and bred illustrator working with major publishers, agencies and animation studios around the world. Davide's illustrations represent complex subjects in a narrative and witty way. His style combines digital media with the textures of scanned found objects, adding a warm and evocative atmosphere to his illustrations. I feel that its work leans towards magical realism, focusing on the intersection of reality and fantasy, and transcending social constraints. Transcending the real world through creative means and exploring the depths of the human mind and consciousness.

What will we think when we see this picture？ How would we feel? Would it feel dangerous, would be wondering why that man swam into the ocean. Maybe the swimming pool happens to be broken, so why is the swimming pool in the ocean？ Will sharks come and eat us, is it a conservation theme. These are just my thoughts when I see them.

Academic definitions of magic realism can be divided into two categories - narrow definitions and broad definitions. The narrow definition of magic realism tends to see it as "an aesthetic that belongs organically to non-Western or marginal cultures," while the broader definition sees magic realism as "a universal aesthetic that reveals the supernatural core of what is real everywhere. So what is the significance of the success of magical realism？

Davide Bonazzi had this to say about the idea for this piece: Brandeis Magazine asked me to introduce Samantha Mocle to a new book by Professor Andy Molinsky on "Reach: Helping You Step Out of Your Comfort Zone, Take on Challenges, and Build Confidence"! Article. I struggled to figure out how to represent the concept of "comfort zone" with a good visual metaphor and how to get out of it. After a few attempts, I focused on sports: the track, the playing field, and the swimming pool are good examples of comfort zones, where playing can be a lot of fun, where one can exercise, improve oneself, break records, become a great athlete in the world, and yet (despite all this) end up in a state of isolation and protection. In another way, the open ocean represents real life and the feelings it offers: wonder, fear, freedom, anxiety, excitement, and what people spend a lot of time in their comfort zones not being able to experience. I think there is a "swimmer" in all of us who dares to break the mould from time to time and go a little further.

Magic realism is a narrative mode, as Davide Bonazzi said, he wants to express how to go through such a process. And how this process is in a social environment. Through magical and grotesque characters and plots, as well as all kinds of supernatural phenomena inserted into the narrative and depictions that reflect reality. Is it really possible that the swimming pool is in the same "container" as the sea？ Davide Bonazzi depicts two worlds, one isolated and the other adventurous and surprising. A simplified technique with a mysterious and bizarre atmosphere integrated into common themes, with jokes and clowns that tell us the reality and the truth, reminding us of our current circumstances. I think that's what makes it work.

Compare the effects of two different magical realist techniques in novels and paintings

Magic realism aims to teach the public how to read between the lines of politicians' speeches and thus become a mature human being. Defenders of truth, therefore, suggest that magic realist novelists actually end up telling "lies that tell the truth". One Hundred Years of Solitude "Magic Realism" is the work of Colombian writer Gabriel Garcia Marquez. The story is about the rise and fall of six generations of the Buendía family over a hundred years, as power and lust are reincarnated. Old Buendía, the first generation, is tied to a tree in his old age, and Ursula, the matriarch of the Buendía family, is always quietly supporting her family behind the scenes, but she is full of a sense of justice. to fight for the people. The last descendant-Orellano's son was eaten by ants when he was just born, and Orellano disappeared with Macondo after reading the last draft of the gipsy's prophecy.

Novels need a context and a historical background, and as a literary phenomenon, magic realism arose in Latin America for profound social, historical and contemporary reasons. Mariano Siskind claims that magic realism is both a "formal and historical" cultural phenomenon. Author Gabriel García Márquez was awarded the 1982 Nobel Prize for Literature, with the Royal Academy of Sweden justifying the award because "like other important Latin American writers, Márquez has always been a champion of the weak and the poor, resisting both internal oppression and external exploitation."

Chapter fifteen of A Hundred Years of Solitude is taken from an incident that took place on 6 December 1928 in Xenaga, a city on the northern coast of Colombia. A strike by workers in a banana factory had been going on for over a month. plantation owned by the United Fruit Company in Ciénaga. The workers were demanding better wages and working conditions. Although the novel A Hundred Years of Solitude describes the massacre as having claimed around three thousand lives, the conservative government led by Miguel Avadia Mendez sent the Colombian army to suppress the workers, and the actual number of deaths is still unknown.

Illustration is a visual expression of art forms, the use of patterns to express the image, with its intuitive image, the real sense of life and the beauty of the infectious force. The use of artistic contagion can trigger the emotional resonance of the audience. When I see a picture, I want to cry or cry out immediately, but when I see a book, maybe I want to cry only when I see half of it, or I will cry only when I finish reading it. In a sense, visual communication is a kind of activity that uses visual symbols as a channel of information transmission to achieve information exchange and mutual sharing, and it is the main way of disseminating information.

Any form of artistic expression has its limitations, and I think the biggest difference between fiction and painting in terms of the effectiveness of the technique is whether it's your story or the ideas you're trying to express, and I'm not denying that one side isn't there, it's just the size of the weight that's given to it. If it's a story, then fiction is the best means of telling it.

References

Figlerowicz, M. and Mertehikian, L. (2023) ‘An Ever-Expanding World Literary Genre: Defining Magic Realism on Wikipedia’, Journal of Cultural Analytics, 8(2).

Hart, S.M. and Hart, J. (2021) ‘Magical realism is the language of the emergent Post‐Truth world’, Orbis litterarum, 76(4), pp. 158–168.

Thompson, R. (2010) ‘Rupkatha Journal on Interdisciplinary Studies in Humanities: Editorial’, Rupkatha journal on interdisciplinary studies in humanities, 2(3).

Wang, Y. (2022) ‘Illustration Art Based on Visual Communication in Digital Context’, Mobile information systems, 2022.