#its 15 fuckin pages how did I get here

[syndianites]

me wanting to have someone beta read this fic for me

VS

me wanting to do it entirely on my own so I can cause shock and awe into everyone I know

[somehow-a-human]

Whose POV is it Anyway?

The End?

DO NOT ASK NEIL ABOUT FAN THEORY

We're here. We did it. We made it to the final episode. I'm so proud of us.

For reference & context, I recommend reading these posts:

Whose POV is it Anyway? - Introduction

POV "Your 'Something's Wrong' Voice"

POV a Trip to Hell and a 25 Lazarii Miracle

POV a Companion to Owls

POV The Dirty Donkey & I think I Found a *Clue*!

POV Bodysnatchers & Cosplaying a bookseller

POV 1941

POV The Ball

Lens Filters

Lets fuckin go baybee.

Up until the demons are accidentally allowed into the bookshop, the filter is clearly still the warm and hazy Bronze Glimmerglass of Aziraphale's POV. This is clearly visible after the demons enter and Aziraphale activates the portal. When viewing the top down shots, Aziraphale/Maggie/Nina's side is warm and golden toned, and the demons side is cold and green.

As the bookshop battle commences the lighting gets cooler and cooler toned as the demons move farther into the bookshop. The lighting is still warm around Aziraphale when he removes his halo, but once it's blown up, we've instantly lost the warm glow and everything is now cool and dark toned.

Throughout Crowley's entire stint in heaven with Muriel, the lighting is cool and bright, and Crowley's sideburns are long. I'm going to give this an inconclusive POV.

When Crowley comes back to the bookshop with the archangels the lighting is still cooler, I would say its most similar to the Black Diffusion FX (BDFX) filter, however there is a fair bit of haziness so it may also be the Black Pro Mist (BPM) filter, and his sideburns are still long.

Gabriel then recovers his memories. And I think this next bit is key when we think of the filters.

The first memory we see is the Tadfield aribase. I did go back and compare this scene to season 1 and it is a fair bit more saturated and warmer toned than it was graded in season 1. I would say that's because Gabriel is now remembering this memory through his lens of how he now views Beelzebub.

The Russian Cafe memory is next, and the scene is very green toned, dark and cool. It reminds me clearly of the Black Pro Mist filter often used for Hell.

The American Bar memory is not nearly as dark, but still a bit cool toned and saturated. I'd say this one uses the Black Diffusion FX filter.

The Resurrectionist Pub is warm, golden, and hazy with fuzzy halos around the lights & I believe we're seeing it through the Bronze Glimmerglass filter.

3 stages of their relationship. Strangers at odds, then cautiously on the same page, then optimistically absorbed in their love for one another.

We return to present day scenes in the bookshop and these are all cool toned, and I would say in the BDFX filter.

... and I'm pretty sure the filter doesn't change the entire rest of the episode. The debate about Gabriel and Beelzebub, the conversation with the Metatron, the final 15. It stays the same, and Crowley's sideburns remain long. And I'm also going to give it an inconclusive POV label. We've reached some sort of equilibrium?

Don't worry, I'm ending this post here, but I'm following it up with my conclusion, and you don't even have to wait to read it! There's too much to summarize my feelings after writing these analysis at the end of this one post, it deserves it's own thing!

NEXT Whose POV is it Anyway - a Conclusion

[sharkbiite]

part 2 of explanation

-- with my set of mind i continued on to reply instead of blocking which leads us to how we are now, heres some ss of what else i said. and yes i did use the r slur, but i reclaimed))

which i do not read isaacwhy smut soo dont know where they got that from

first of angst is not kissing and cuddling..lmao thats fluff, and good for you that you did it at 10 years old, now 10 year old you would know how we feel cause sure as hell you were getting hated on for this aswell.

I decided it would be a good idea to pull the young card. disclaimer i am not 15. i say i am younger as an advantage for people to leave me alone because ive saw many do it and successfully got left alone because they were a minor. i am 18 years old, born may 24th 2004. not 15.

and yes, i still am in highschool. held back a grade. i graduate next month. first of all its not pedophilia when its fiction so that doesn't make sense, second of all if i WAS 15 i wouldn't be in middle school anyways 😂 i'd be in highschool if i were to be 15 so..fact check!

continued on the minor act, i never sexualized any people in tgc. ever. and i would never either, i dont write smut and if i see it on my page i like and scroll. i never read it. and i dont recall tanner saying he was uncomfortable with it, and if he was, im sure theres clips you could show me saying that. and yeah it is disgusting. assuming is disgusting. ‼

which leads a mutual of mine which i will not name but you probably know who, found out i had been chatting with them and saw that i have been saying i was supposedly 15. they posted about it and a few people reposted their post. i explained to them i was not 15 and heres what i said.

and after this we decided to continue to be mutuals and they sided with me, we both dearly apologized to eachother and all is well. i'd like to apologize to you all for lying about my age. im a fully grown adult and should not be lying about my age. and i'd like to apologize to larrycroc and isaacwhyfanficreader for accidentally boosting their ego too much, beware for those fuckin nuts.

[bitternanami]

absolutely love this addition, especially the idea of him deploying his backstory like a bomb the moment it becomes useful to do so, its so evocative!! hes weaponized every single part of himself !!!! (and in so doing further internalized the dehumanization enacted upon him by utaya, elves, the islands ruling class, etc) (clawing at the walls about this)

and reading this made me realize i rly want to zero in on the conversation in the governors meeting room bc the more i look at the few pages it gets the more i find to dig into. its so dense !!!!!!! politically and in terms of characterization

for instance as you brought up!! its so so interesting that kabru takes pains not to really talk about milsiril when he first confronts the canaries, when she is a clear In to the position he wants to hold in that conversation--cithis is the first one to mention her at all, which he politely concedes, and then moves on.

there is definitely a part of that choice based in not wanting to involve her as a person, because things get stickier and harder to control if she gets involved. for kabru, keeping a thumb on how others perceive him is crucial to the game plan here, and introducing the opinion of someone he cant influence as readily, whos known him since before he began living exclusively for A Purpose could easily throw a wrench in things

but i also think he doesnt lean on who his foster mother is nearly as hard as he does his standing as The Last Utaya Tallman for ideological reasons. systemically, elven superiority is an inescapable reality in which he and everyone he knows is forced to live, and its been this way since long long long before he was born. he could play up his closeness to elf society, and it might be effective, but in this conversation he instead chooses to place weight and meaning chiefly on his tallman identity. kabru of utaya, an identity characterized thru the elves eyes as an undeniable, inextricable reminder of their own fallibility, and that of the systems they work to uphold. their greatest failure in recent memory--15 years is the blink of an eye to them. its still raw, undoubtedly

and as kabru of utaya, he embodies an accusation directed toward the existing structures of power. his demand to be heard echoes further if its laced with guilt, after all, and leaning on the privilege of knowing the right people plays into their game. thats something which he, for all his pragmatism, refuses to do bc it would undercut his angle + long term goals rhetorically

and even for taking this stance!!! and refusing the easy out!!! what the canaries actually begin to respond to is not the quality of his argument but his proximity to their vice commander! the way they talk to him then takes on the cloying dismissive tone milsiril uses with him; look how big youve gotten! its so strong of you to want to be an adventurer, you should cheer up a little--one of them even asks if hed like some cake in just the way she did, to make the comparison clear.

the way milsiril treats kabru is the way the canaries treat kabru is the way elves treat human society at large. there is no argument you can make and no way you can position yourself that can make people who are entrenched in the belief of your inferiority respect you. and he and rin grew up around this!!!! fuckin elves man!!!

it’s funny when ppl talk about the harpy omelet scene and say things like “why did he do all of that? he didn’t need to. JUST doing that for laios???” (seen these nearly verbatim on posts i’ve made.)

i don’t really get how you can hear his backstory & not understand that every decision he makes within the dungeon is fueled by a profound trauma borne out of horrific, structural negligence. of course he would do fucking anything to enact his plan? if he computes “getting in laios’s favor = proxy control of the dungeon” and he has very limited time to do so, he will jump at the chance. he’s already DIED for this.

kabru has maybe the clearest possible motivation that a character can have. he has a Protagonists Motivation, and it guides him forward in a very coherent way in the beginning of the story. things get more complicated in later acts that directly address how that motivation manifests itself/gets contradicted, bc ryoko kui is great at exploring this, but it’s still extremely present.

and as a labru fan i strongly dislike the implication i see from some ppl that his interest in laios is mostly personal or romantic (posts that range from pure joke to actual ship meta.) even when taking the “confession” at face value, where i think he was telling the truth, there’s still a lot more to it than that. i think at first kabru does see laios as a means to an end in a way that’s impersonal, partly because he tends to keep everyone in his life at arms length. but that “end” (preventing history from repeating itself) is something foundational to his psyche, and we should consider that potential sense of safety getting mixed in with his warring fascination/apprehension towards laios. he’s drawn to him for visceral reasons, and his stated motivations are so intertwined with his sense of self that untangling this push-pull is much more interesting than boilerplate Yearning, to me.

it’s just confusing when any meta or basic discussion of kabru diminishes the weight utaya has on his inner world and i’m really surprised every time i see it? like i understand that different types of meta will put other lenses on things intentionally, and in most cases i think it’s an interesting tool to work with. but it’s a massive disservice to his character to put the most foundational experience of his life on the back burner ESPECIALLY when it’s in favor of shipping. dissecting character relationships, romantic or otherwise, is at its best when you have their full personhood in mind!!

[froothjuce]

The youtube mobile channel page redesign is fundementally wrong (big suprise, i know) (longe post)

why the hell is the banner in a box. just put the last fuckin vestige of customization we have left in an even smaller box so it looks like shit. fucking of course. its called a fucking channel banner they literally had it put together so it fit to the screen and it looked fine but NOOOO everything gotta conform to their "shove everything in fucking rounded boxes" aesthetic because fuck you and common decency i guess.

so heres the previous layout, courtesy of an old screenshot i took

and, like, this layout works. the spread fits well and acts as a good divider on the header on initial appearance

frankly in general I'm just tired of people rounding edges that really shouldn't be rounded

they did it to the video player on desktop, and i dont care if all you miss is like 15 pixels, its still really dumb just in concept

they want everything to be as bland and inoffensive as possible for the fucking adwords money, and they're applying the same principle to their fucking web design. they are burning our balls off for the insurance money.

this website is the only thing making me realize i'm not taking crazy pills and that literally everything is getting worse in more ways then even most people are talking about.

and you wanna know the fucking cherry on top? of all of this? here's the previous layout before that.

(only image i could find on short notice.)

…thats right. the new layout is just a much shittier version of the older one. like, i could get behind left aligning the icon. cause thats how they do it on desktop, it makes sense, you know?

and double guess, lets go back to the original goddamn One UI layout, the initial "taking the horse of user customizability and fun out back and shooting it to death." inciting incident.

(ignore that this image is like 5 pixels)

THIS IS A BETTER LAYOUT THAN WHAT WE HAVE NOW. THE LITERAL FIRST VERSION WOULD BE BETTER THAN THE FUCKING PRODUCT OF THE SHAREHOLDER ROOM THROWING DARTS AT THEIR DICK TO DECIDE HOW TO SIZE THE ELEMENTS.

and i have no doubt in my mind that they're gonna continue to make it worse somehow. they will take every last ounce of customization we have left. because thats what they always do. trust nobody. nothing is ever safe. THIS FUCKING WEBSITE ISNT EVEN SAFE HAVE YOU SEEN THE STATE OF THINGS AROUND HERE? and before you say "oh just use fucking blungovidupload" BUDDY ALL THOSE WEBSITE ARE EITHER FILLED WITH RACISTS OR HAVE AN VIEWERBASE OF LIKE THREE PEOPLE. THERES NO FUCKING WORTHWILE PLACE TO RUN. WE ARE ALL FUCKED. especially me, who was kinda banking on being able to at least hit something on youtube, because i feel like i probably couldn't handle the world as it is without fucking breaking my entire spirit to a depressing extent due to the current state of, like, everything.

its weird to end this incoherent rant on a bleak note, but its true. nothing we do matters in this context. because they hit it big, and they don't care about us. honestly, people say kill them with kindness? i dont get it. we've tried compassion, it doesn't work. i am beyond the need for compassion. i run on spite, anger, and shitposting. at all times.

god gives her shittiest website designs to her most mentally unwell internet history gals

[dirkjakeweekly]

DIRKJAKE FIC RECS

This is a rebloggeable version of our sidebar page reproduced in full, for those who prefer to save things on their own blogs for later!

INTRO

This page is not intended to be an encyclopedia, but rather a non-exhaustive list of a few Dirkjake Fanfics (and Fancomics) for those that may be interested in the ship, but a little too tired of trawling through AO3 search! Some of these contain NSFW or suggestive content, viewer discretion is advised.

[ FIC RECS (last updated Jan 2021, click readmore for full list) ]

It’s only a canvas sky

Their guardians dead at the hands of the Condesce, growing up in the shadow of her slow takeover of the Skaian Federation, Dirk Strider and Jake English have spent their whole lives alone up until shortly before their twelfth birthdays.

Or: Dirk fixes a transmitter, makes a friend, builds a robot, and tries to communicate affection over distance to the barest possible minimum.

Read here!

GOD’S BRAND NEW FATE SELECTOR (Fancomics)

In ONE PARTICULAR TIMELINE, detached from many similar ones, an aspiring divorcee stands by his baby’s cradle and attempts to hatch an escape plan with some aid from the ghost of his long-deceased boyfriend. He’s not exactly helpful.

SOMEWHERE ELSE ENTIRELY, Dirk Strider is overcame by the nagging feeling his splinters may be getting a little out of hand and far too into his head, when he gets a booty call.

One timeline is Epilogues-Compliant, another Epilogues-Divergent. 

Read here!

We’re All Friends & Family Here (And Frankly, We’re Sick Of Your Shit)

It’s been about a year since the big Fast Forward, and sure, things on Earth C aren’t perfect for everyone. But they’re fine. Really. It’s fine. Everything is super fuckin’ swell, and that’s that.

It’s not like one night is going to change anything.

Read here!

Perpetuity

“Call it a car crash waiting to happen, you’ll just call it your downfall”

Dirk is a romantic, just not a particularly optimistic one.

(Written pre-epilogues release, post-game, fix-it)

Read here!

Tailspinning Into the Epilogues with Dirk and Jake (complete series)

Read here!

Stark Nonfiction (Part of the Tailspinning series)

Jake tries his hand at a gentler epilogue.

Read here!

Between the Lines (Part of the Tailspinning series)

“It’s just… I can’t remember the last time I felt so at peace, I guess. It was such a lovely jaunt with Jade, and instead of being all torn up about coming home, I feel even better, now. It’s actually been a real while and a half since I felt… bad, you know? Like actually bad.”

You don’t have much in the way of emotional permanence about that sort of thing. Surely it was months ago, when you were staring gloomily at the bottoms of bottles like the world’s most up-his-own-ass useless overdramatic dilettante. Did it even really happen, if it all, in hindsight, just seems like a dumb pantomime of misery to get attention? A successful dumb pantomime of misery to get attention, mind you, you definitely got it, and a boyfriend to boot. Was it ever really as atrocious and apocalyptic and unsurvivable as it seemed?

Read here!

A Palate Cleanser (Part of the Tailspinning series)

ROXY: hay everybody its jakes turn! ROXY: hes got a few words hed like to say about our dear departed buddy

The eulogy we missed on Candy’s page 15.

Read here!

Eschewal

“you hope he’s a benevolent god”

Read here!

Grublr. (Fancomic)

In the consort kingdom, atop of the large, humongous mansion where the god of Hope lives, there is an apartment complex.

Read here!

The Hitchhikers Guide to Your Ex-Boyfriend (Fancomic)

Jake English waking up sore and alone on a cold floor is not a strange occurrence for him as of late. The ethereal beam of light and sluggishly churning floor is new, but he’s woken up in stranger places.

If circumstances were better he’d probably have something shocked and relevant to say about this strange landscape he’s found himself in, but circumstances are in fact legendarily shit right now.

(A comic/fic where Jake English gets rights)

Read here!

The Four Kings, the God Thief, and the Black Diamond Pirates

Dirk and Vriska have it good. They raid ships, pillage merchant vessels, constantly poison each other, possess a lucrative pact with the Wind King, sing a lot of dope fuckin’ sea shanties, and captain a loveable crew of pirate scum. They’re ready to kick back, take it easy, and become the vile and revered scourge of the diamond trading line.

Then they find someone in the water.

Read here!

Sea shanties for Thots (Four Kings continuation)

Jake English has never done anything wrong, ever, in his life, if you don’t count literally all that stuff from the first installment of oxfordRoulette’s diegetic-musical-cum-found-family-pirate-AU. Luckily, that was in the last story, and he is completely better now in all respects. None of that nonsense is a thing anymore and it will not be relevant at all! Surrounded by friends and allies, with a very cool piratey boyfriend and a hold full of treasure from his recently decimated country, he’s got everything a fellow could want.

What will he do?

Befriend an octopus god. Learn to fish. Kick back. Take it easy. Kiss his boyfriend a lot. Open a jewelry company? Pursue immortality. Confront his past. Embrace his future. Maybe save the world. One thing’s for sure: there will be a lot of songs involved.

Read here!

Two idiots at Homoville, N69, TX

In a moment of desperation, Dirk goes on r/relationships. Things get oversharey real quick. He types as follows:

“I [23M] cannot understand my [24M?] roommate. He is the most bizarre man to ever set foot on earth and I’m afraid I’m losing him.”

or, and They Were Roommates.

Read here!

Drive it home with one headlight

Some mistakes are so fucking big that they divert the path of your life entirely, sending you somewhere you were never meant to go. Some mistakes are so seismic and so obvious that when you look back on your life all you can see is the beacon where you made them. Some mistakes leave you so far off course you don’t even recognize who you are or why you’re still here.

You don’t usually get a chance to make amends.

Read here!

A Tallied List of Various Occasions in Which Jake English Encountered the Elusive Smile Belonging to One Dirk Strider

Jake English, explorer extraordinaire, tracks down the most unique treasure of all: a nerd in pointy sunglasses.

Read here!

BONES OF BLACK MARROW

Dirk summons a demon for the exclusive purpose of ‘cathartic boning.’ He gets what he wants.

NOTE: This fic is ergodic (think House of Leaves), which means it cannot be downloaded for offline perusal on your kindle/pdf reader. Also has CYOA elements, so clicking “Entire Work” will make the fic impossible to read.

Read here!

fire fly

A wedding. An anxiety attack. A daring tryst.

Read here!

DIRK TOPS (Fancomic)

Ever think about how Dirk Strider got full narrative awareness of the fanfics where he’s the big scary hunk in charge and went “I can do that” when he wasn’t, in fact, able to do that? i do. i think about that.

Read here!

MLM stands for Moron loving Moron (Fancomic)

aren’t you TIRED of longing? don’t you just want to go APESHIT while dating your best bro? i mean, you’ve earned it, right? (Collection of oneshot comics. marked as complete, updates whenever)

Read here!

fist is a four letter word

Jake’s face quirks. “App?“ 

“Yeah, app. Like, application. You know your phone can do other things right? Like, apps.”

“You sure do keep using that word! I’m not quite sure I understand what you mean.”

“You know, apps.” You try to think of how to explain apps. You suddenly can’t think of what apps are.

What’s the name of an app.

Literally just name any app.

He’s staring at you.

Oh my god.

Read here!

Witching Hour

There’s something almost magical about that time between too late at night and too early in the morning. It’s the perfect time to meet a stranger and go on an adventure.

Read here!

[calpalirwin]

Hush, Hush

Request: Could you please write a Michael x Reader based on the song Hush Hush by The Band CAMINO? Where they have a secret relationship. Maybe include a scene where the guys find out because read accidentally LEFT THEIR FRIGGIN UNDERWEAR

Content: Heavily implied smut

Word Count: 3.6k

And away, and away we go!

__

Y/N spotted Calum easily as he tried to look as inconspicuous as possible in a plain black t-shirt, blue jeans, a hat covering his head of curls, and sunglasses pushed up on his face. “Hey, you! How was your flight?” he greeted as he wrapped his cousin in a hug.

“Long, but worth it to be here,” she grinned, returning the embrace with the same amount of warmth as the bright LA sun outside. “You fuckin’ take a page from the Avengers? You know this disguise is shit, right?”

“If I learned one thing from all the covid nonsense, it’s actually that this shit disguise works surprisingly well.”

“In covid we covered the lower half of our faces, ya dingus.”

“Works the same either way. Half the face covered is half the face covered. You check any bags?”

“Nah, I crammed as much shit as I could in my carry on and backpack.”

“Sweet, let’s roll.”

“So, you like living here in LA?” she asked as they made their way to his car.

“Yeah. Kinda hard not to. Nice weather. Good people. So, I know you’re here to look at houses and stuff, but Mum didn’t explain to me why you’re moving here. She was just like ‘pick up your cousin from the airport and be good’ like I was just gonna leave you to fend for yourself or some shit.”

Y/N laughed. “While I definitely appreciate you picking me up, and letting me stay with you this week, I’ll kick your ass if you start babying me. You may be taller, but I’m still older than you.”

Calum laughed along. “That’s what I told Mum but, she wouldn’t listen. I was like Y/N’s a big girl, she doesn’t need a chaperone.”

“That’s Aunt Joy for ya though. She misses you. We all do. Well except me, of course.”

Calum snorted as he clicked the unlock button on his car. “Yeah, I miss everyone but you too, so I guess we’re even. But what was it that sent you here?”

“Job relocation. Well… sort of.”

“What do you mean sort of?” he asked as he placed her suitcase in the backseat, the backpack following. 

“So I’ve been doing a lot more freelance work since my job’s been fucking me around since day one. And I finally said fuck it, I’m gonna make my own business. So while I’m here to look at apartments and shit, I’m also here to scout out business locations looking to rent out space.”

“Well shit, why didn’t you tell me before now?” he asked as they got in the front seat. “Moving’s expensive. Starting your own business is expensive. Living here is expensive. Doing all that shit at once? Geez, you a secret millionaire?”

“You’re not the only successful one, Cal. I make good money.”

“You know I don’t mean it like that. I just meant that you could’ve told me what was really going on. So that way I could’ve put you in contact with Andy and Sarah already, cuz they probably know some people who can help you out. Hell you can help them out by freelancing for them. They work too damn hard, they could definitely use the extra help. Plus you’re fuckin good at what you do. And I could’ve also told you that you don’t need to bother looking for a place cuz you could just stay with me.”

“That’s exactly why I didn’t tell you, Cal. I wanna do this on my own.”

“I’m not saying you gotta live with me forever, Y/N. I’m just saying you can while you focus all your energy and resources on what really matters which is getting your business up and running. Plus, I know you’re gonna pick like the most cheapass, run-down studio apartment anyway because you’re gonna justify it by saying you’re just there to sleep anyway. So why spend any money on some shitty apartment when you can just stay at my nice, nonshitty house for free instead? I mean, you’re only there to sleep basically right?”

Y/N’s eyes narrowed. She hated that he knew her so well. “There’s no way you’re letting this go until I agree to move in with you, is there?”

“Not a one.”

“Fine. But only until I get my business off the ground. Once that’s up and running, I’m getting my own place.”

“A decent place,” Calum pushed.

“A decent place,” she agreed with an eye roll. “I’ll even splurge for an actual bedroom.”

“You got yourself a deal.”

“You got yourself a roommate.”

~~~

Michael couldn’t keep his eyes off Y/N. He knew he wasn’t supposed to stare. A.) Staring was rude, and he wasn’t a rude person. And B.) Calum was his best and longest friend, and Y/N was his cousin which made her inexplicably off-limits. But there was something so tempting about wanting someone you knew you couldn’t have. And it didn’t help matters that every time he caught himself looking her way, she was already watching him.

“I’m Michael,” he introduced stupidly when they both ended up in Calum’s kitchen by themselves. 

“I know,” she grinned. “We already did introductions, remember?”

His cheeks flushed pink, and one of his hands rubbed at the back of his neck. “Right. Yeah. H-how long did you say you’re staying with Cal for?”

“Well originally I was only gonna be here for a week while I sorted things out. But Cal’s… strong-willed about things. So I’m staying with him indefinitely while I get sorted instead.”

“Mmm, right. With your new business and everything. So you’ll be around quite a bit, huh?”

“Loads,” she nodded with a flirtatious smile. “And I’ll probably be lonely. I don’t really know anyone here besides Cal. His friends seem nice though. And one of them’s really cute.”

Michael breathed deeply, and even from the small distance between them she could feel his hot exhale on her skin. “We can’t,” he sighed in defeat.

“Says who?”

“Says like every bro code.”

“Are you saying you don’t want this as badly as I do?”

“Want it so bad,” Michael admitted, his voice a low whimper. His green eyes looked around. While nobody from outside was peering in, they were still in everyone’s line of sight if someone happened to glance their way. Which meant that they only had two options, neither of which led to what they really wanted which was to slink away from the party without raising suspicion. “But we can’t. Not now, anyway. Not here.”

“Right. I don’t want to make anything weird between you and Cal. Or between me and him. And we don’t even know what we are. Maybe this is just an infatuation that’ll run its course if we don’t play into it.”

“Maybe it’s not,” Michael countered. “God, I hope it’s not, cuz I really want to play into this.”

“Me too. God, I hope you’re right.”

“Hope he’s right about what?” Calum asked, as he came in through the sliding glass door. 

“Uh, my business!” she blurted. “Mike was just telling me that he thinks it’s gonna do really well here cuz I’ll be able to get more connections with your help and stuff.”

Calum hummed in response. “Mike’s right ya know. Like you already did the scary part of moving out here. The rest is just doing your job. Which you already know how to do, and you do it very well I might add.”

Michael let out the breath he’d been holding as Calum disappeared off to the bathroom. “Fuck, that was close. You think pretty good on your feet.”

Y/N chuckled nervously. “Thanks. God, he scared the shit out of me, and we weren’t even doing anything.”

“Backing out?” Michael asked with a twinge of a challenge to mask the underlying brace for rejection.

“We’re fucked if we get caught.”

“So fucked.”

“Guess we better not get caught then.”

Michael grinned.

~~~

She smirked at the message. A painful month of sneaking behind her cousin’s back, and she only wanted the man with wild trouble in those piercing green eyes more with each hidden touch. Needed him the same way Michael needed her. From the doorway, Calum wolf-whistled at the outfit lying on the bed: a slinky black dress with a slit in the thigh, and a matching black lace bra and panty set. “Going somewhere?” he questioned in amusement.

“Yes!” Y/N said with indignation. “Not that it’s any of your business.”

Calum chuckled, raising his hands in surrender. “I didn’t mean it as a bad thing. It’s good that you’re going out. You going out with friends, or a guy?”

“Friends,” she lied.

“That’s a hell of a dress for a girls’ night out,” he chuckled again. “You could tell me if it was a guy, ya know. We’re not little kids. I’m not gonna be shocked if you’re getting laid. Be a little worried if you weren’t in all honesty.”

She bit into her lower lip, wondering briefly if it was better to come clean now. Y/N decided on half-admittance. “Alright, it’s a guy. But we’re still in that figuring it out stage. Enjoying each other’s company.”

“Yeah, I bet you are,” Calum smirked.

“Shut up,” she laughed. “And get out so I can finish getting ready.”

“He picking you up?”

She shook her head. “No, we’re meeting up at the bar.”

“So, you’re driving?”

“Relax, spazz. I’m taking an Uber. No drinking and driving here.”

“Good. And hey, do me one small favor?”

“Sure. What is it?”

“Go back to his place. Don’t bring him here. Rather spare myself the mental image.”

“I wouldn’t dream of bringing him here, you’re good.”

“Good, good. And hey, if he ends up not enjoying your time anymore A.) he’s an idiot, especially if you’re meeting him dressed in that. And B.) Call me, and I’ll come get ya. No matter the time.”

“Thanks, Cal. Now seriously leave.”

20 minutes after Michael asked to meet in 15 minutes, she was climbing into his car. “Geez, what took you so long?” he questioned, leaning across the seat to press a heated and bruising kiss to Y/N’s lips.

“Cal walked by when I was getting ready. You know for the quiet one, he really doesn’t ever shut up.”

“Shit, think he’s getting suspicious?”

“Nah. I mean I told him I was sort of seeing somebody. But I don’t think he thinks it’s you.”

“Sort of seeing somebody, huh?” Under a passing streetlight, she could see the corner of his lips pull up in a smirk. “You can call me your boyfriend if you want.”

“Oh, is that what you are?” she teased.

Michael chuckled. “I mean not to be heavy, but we’ve been seeing each other a while now. I think this is becoming something more than passing infatuation. I’m not seeing anyone else besides you. I don’t want to see anyone besides you. But if you don’t want to label this because of Cal or whatever, I can respect that.”

“No, no,” she said, softly, fingers tracing across the thick tattooed band on his arm. “I’d like that. Plus, might make telling Cal easier? So we can stop sneaking around? Not that I haven’t loved this. But, I’d really like to not act like we don’t know each other around company.”

His hand brought hers to his lips to stamp kisses over it as he pulled into his driveway. “We’ll tell him soon. Until then, I’m gonna enjoy keeping you to myself.” His gaze turned to take her in, his next breath catching in his throat. “Fuck… Did I tell you how stunning you look, yet? Or was I too busy griping about Cal holding you up like an ass?”

Her cheeks blushed. “Too busy griping. But that’s okay.”

“I think I can think of a way or two to make it up to you.”

“Oh, is that so? Do tell.”

“I think showing you might be more appropriate.”

She shuddered at his words. “Humor me anyway?”

“Let’s just say if my neighbors don’t know me already, they certainly will by tomorrow, because I am going to thoroughly enjoy familiarizing myself with every inch of your skin. And listening to how good my name sounds rolling off your tongue, and how good yours tastes on mine.”

How they managed to make their way inside the house was a mystery to them both as hands tangled in hair, and tongues explored mouths and the column of the other’s throat. Teeth nipped skin, as Y/N’s fell back onto the couch, and Michael marked a path down her body. “Pretty,” his voice taunted from underneath the skirt of her dress as he snapped the waistband of her panties, before pulling them down and off her legs, spitting the lace fabric out of his mouth.

“M-Mike,” she panted, her back arching, searching for him.

“Aw,” he taunted more, his face inches from hers. “You can do better than that. C’mon, I’m sure I got a few neighbors who don’t know who I am yet. Don’t you want to tell them my name, pretty girl?”

“Mike!” The repetition of his name was louder, the desperation in her voice stronger as her fingers wrapped around his wrist and guided him towards where she needed him.

As they surrendered themselves to each other, their names mingled together in the air like the most profanity-riddled melody, each of them certain that by the time daylight broke through the curtains, the neighborhood not only knew his name, but hers as well. 

~~~

Michael tiptoed around the clothes scattered on the floor as he made his way to the dresser, a wide smile plastered on his face. Their first bout that had shook the foundation of the house had led to them curled up on the couch, whispering the sweet promises of budding love against each other’s skin, before retiring to the bedroom. Which then led to a much slower love making of hot moans panted against heated skin, fingers intertwined, and locked gazes swirling with desire, love, lust, and passion. Afterwards exhaustion set in, and they fell asleep in a tangled web of limbs and bedsheets. 

He’d woken up, sure that this had all been a dream, but much to his delight, she was still sleeping soundly in his arms. And after waking her up, he was grabbing her some clothes to put on before joining her in the shower. Or he would have if someone wasn’t banging on his front door.

Confused, he made his way to the front of the house, pulling the front door open to find Ashton, Calum, and Luke on the other side. “See? I told you guys we should’ve waited until he responded,” Luke said with a shake of his head.

“Aw, who gives a shit?” Calum asked rhetorically, shouldering his way past a still confused Michael to get inside the house.

“Uh? What are you guys doing here?” Michael asked, stepping out of the way as Ashton and Luke followed Calum inside.

“Saturdays are for the boys, remember?” Ashton grinned.

“Yeah, but like… did we have actual plans? I- sorry… still waking up.”

“Long night?” Calum teased with a smirk.

“I’ll say,” Luke answered, blue eyes zeroed in on a pair of panties half-wedged between a couch cushion. “You got a girlfriend, Mikey?”

“Holy shit!” Ashton choked, giggling at the sight of Michael with his face frozen in terror. “Is she still here? Is that why you’re so jumpy, mate? Ya got your girlfriend hidden somewhere in your mini mansion?”

“I- What? Pffft, no!” Michael sputtered, grabbing the panties and balling them up in his fist, his green eyes looking wildly at Calum for any indication that his friend might be on to him.

Calum misinterpreted the look as a plea to step in on Michael’s defense. “Aw, leave him be guys. We should be celebrating that he’s finally getting back out there, not giving him shit for it. So when are we gonna meet the girl? When she comes back to claim her lost panties? Or should we leave to not embarrass the poor girl, and meet her some other time?”

“That,” Michael chimed in, “is a great idea, Cal. You guys should leave, because this is part of a matching set, so I’m sure she’ll be by the moment she realizes, and she’ll probably be embarrassed enough as is. So it might be best if you guys aren’t around when that happens. No offense.”

“Matching set?” Calum asked with a raised eyebrow and Michael gulped. “Damn, that girl knew what she was doing.”

The green-eyed blonde chuckled nervously. “Heh, yeah. She’s really cool. I like spending time with her. We’re still kinda figuring some stuff out, but I’ll be sure to bring her around s-”

“Hey, Mike? Have you seen my pa- oh fuck!”

“Y/N!” Calum thundered, jumping to his feet, while Ashton and Luke sucked in their breath and Michael and Y/N looked like a couple of deer trapped in headlights. “The guy you’re seeing is Mike?! You’re fucking my cousin?! And I’m finding this out now?! How long has this been happening?!”

“Maybe now’s not the time to ask questions,” Y/N hissed, trying to make herself as small as possible as she clutched the large towel around her like a lifeline.

“GET DRESSED!” Calum barked, his mind racing.

Michael and Y/N bolted to his bedroom, Ashton’s and Luke’s unrestrained laughter finally breaking free in the background while Calum screeched at them that “IT’S NOT FUNNY!”

“It’s a little funny,” was the barely audible response between wheezes and gasps for air.

Behind the closed door in the safety of the bedroom, Michael and Y/N shared a frantic look. “Well… that wasn’t the way I pictured that going in my head,” Y/N mumbled as she pulled the shirt Michael offered her on over her bra.

“Luke found your underwear,” he mumbled back, handing her the wadded up lace. “Sorry, I wrinkled it.”

“It’s fine,” she told him, stepping into them and then taking the offered gym shorts and stepping into those as well while he pulled on a pair of grey sweats over his boxers. “Hey,” she said softly, reaching up to cup his face and focus his frazzled mind on her. “We’re fine. Right?”

He gave her a small smile, relaxing at her touch. “We’re more than fine,” he nodded, kissing her forehead, each of her cheeks, her nose, and then finally her lips. “I still want you. And if Cal can’t deal with that… well… I…”

“Shh, don’t think about it. Cal’s not gonna care. Just gotta let the shock wear off, first.”

He nodded, his forehead resting against hers, green eyes searching for any kind of hope that they weren’t about to self-destruct; that if it really came down to it, they’d at least hesitate to choose Calum over the other. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered, a tear sliding down his cheek despite his best efforts at self control. “This is all my fault. I- I just need you to know that this wasn’t a fleeting moment of infatuation for me. That I-“

“Ssssshhhhh,” she soothed, her thumb rubbing across his cheekbone. “Don’t do this. Don’t say goodbye before we have to.”

They slowly crept their way back to the living room, finding Calum in full interrogation mode. “Did you two know?” he was asking Ashton and Luke, whose bodies were still shaking from barely controlled laughter.

“Hand to God, we didn’t know,” Ashton swore.

“Honest,” Luke agreed before both men sputtered into a new fit of giggles.

Calum’s eyes narrowed, not sure what to believe as he turned on his heel, coming face-to-face with Michael. “Did they know?” he demanded.

“No. Nobody knew,” Michael told him.

“So what? Are you embarrassed to be with her, or something? Are you embarrassed to be with him?” The brown eyes shifted back and forth between the couple.

“No,” it was Y/N’s turn to answer. “We just didn’t want to come to you guys with the news before we figured out what we were to each other first.”

“And what are you to each other?”

“We’re dating.”

“And how long has this been going on?”

“About a month.”

“So, the whole time? Great… You’re a real pal, Mike.”

“Oh, leave him alone,” Y/N defended. “Like you go blabbing to the world whenever you start to get to know someone? No. You wait until you’re sure it’s not just a fleeting moment. Gimme a break, Cal.”

“So… this is like… for real then? You actually like like each other, and shit?”

“We really do,” Michael nodded.

“I see… Hey, Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“Remember what I told you last night about not bringing the guy you were seeing home because I’d rather not have that mental image?”

“Yeah. What about it? Change your mind?” she teased.

Calum gagged. “Fuckin’ God, no! If you’re gonna insist on fucking Mike, do it as far away from me as possible. Also if you want to move out sooner, totally fine with that.”

Michael blinked in confusion. “Wait? You’re cool with this? With us?”

Calum shrugged. “If you make each other happy, you make each other happy. Not my place to tell you who you can and can’t date. But,” Calum’s tone changed to be as menacing as possible as he glowered at Michael, “break her heart, and it’ll be the last thing you ever do.”

“What if she breaks mine?” Michael countered.

Calum laughed. “Then I’ll help you pick up the pieces, while secretly wondering what she ever saw in you because let’s face it, she’s too good for you.”

“I’d be more offended if you weren’t totally right.”

__

Tag List

@aquarius-hood1996​ @creator-appreciator​ @philthepegacorn​ @myfavfanficsever​ @cxddlyash​ @youngblood199456​ @stormrider505​ @tarltongrl96​

[lets-steal-an-archive]

[thread]

fuckin' this, folks. and I mean you KNOW I am here for fanfic, now and always, but that is NOT what this nomination is about! do you know how advanced an archival system ao3 is? the ways its indexing and DB structure improve discoverability for MILLIONS of readers?

I know librarians who'd kill for that kind of tech! and this is glued together from cloudsourced specs while training their OWN coders on the way. and - this is not wordpress, people, they OWN THE SERVERS. they fund and pay wages for sysadmining! there's rackspace!

no, okay, look, listen, look: this is my job. I do it for a living. it is the only way I could go to cons, could take time to write. I only, only, ONLY ever took a programming class because Ao3 existed and showed me it could be done.

think of it this way: if someone nominated twitter (...go with me) for an award, would you immediately conclude they meant the tweets? pff. no. that's content. that's the squishy stuff. tech is the skeleton it rests on. well, guess what: the Archive of Our Own is Real Tech too.

's better than Amazon is for providing new content to read. god, the filters. the freeform tagging (sure, yeah, it's not Machine Learning, it's manually wrangled - someone had to go tell the robots 'AU' == 'Alternate Universe'). sort by length!! fuckin' ratings!!!

and - those of you who haven't been to ao3, y'know, may I suggest if you're curious, go take ten minutes and look? I'll wait. A good place to start might be the fandoms front page. https://archiveofourown.org/media

Go tell me if you can figure out how that works. Heck, I almost wanna start a scavenger hunt. Find a fic over 100k. Change the font to large. Go print a fic to mobi, or epub, or pdf and load it onto your tablet or kindle. Find me some meta with more than 500 comments.

The UI design is IMPECCABLE. Search box in the top right. fonts all clean and clear. never, EVER see any javascript overlaps or partial loads or slow graphics - they know better than that. you can slap a custom skin on it. heck, there's a link to the source code in the footer!

How about a fic - here we go, Speranza's classic, Written by the Victors. https://archiveofourown.org/works/15 There's a bunch of UI you don't see if you aren't logged in - the heavensent 'Mark for Later' button, for example - but still. Everything you could click is easy to grok.

Want more like it? Super easy and intuitive to click a tag, or the fandom, or a pairing (or even just M/M if you want to load half the site) and see more fic in that category. Sort by comments or hits or kudos and you get a good idea which ones are worth opening.

These folks REALLY know their UI. But, okay, hang on, yes they do, and many are trained pros, but many also aren't! the people building this site just WORK HARD, they try things out, they listen to feedback and iterate - (how much Big Tech can say as much these days)

- but ALSO, and here's what's important to realise, this is a community project, a community space, and it was DESIGNED to TEACH. (Did you know when it was first proposed, they trialed Ruby and Python to see which was quicker for beginners? I know 'cause I voted Python 🐍🤷‍♀️😂)

Do you know how rare it is to find that in Open Source? Listen, okay, I'm a professional techie and I would NE-E-EVER venture into eg the Linux core with 'Jennifer' attached to my sig in any way whatsoever. Aside from that, much of OSS is, hmm, results-oriented.

They expect you to show up fully-functional on day one, w/ a pull request ready to patch. Remind me, what's the demographic balance in Ye Average compsci program? And of those, who's working nights / caring for relatives / otherwise unable to Do Their Time posturing on github?

But the Organization for Transformative Works isn't here for that. They know (we know) that Fan is a Tool-Using Animal. idlewords.com/talks/fan_is_a… And the Archive of Our Own is proof of that.

So maybe think on that a little, the next time Patreon has a ToS hiccup. The next time Jack removes like counts. Think of what Archive coders built, in the face of Livejournal's hypocrisy, in spite of everyone telling us it was Too Much, we'd bitten off more than we could chew.

That. That's what this nomination is about. And yeah, we built it so we could host the smutty Harry/Draco and the conspiracy theories about Sansa and alllll the Naruto time travel fixit fic you could POSSIBLY ever read. And that's pretty fuckin' great, in my book.

(...I do not have a SoundCloud, but I do have a hugo nominated podcast, @serpentcast , which is entirely made up of the three of us yelling about fanfic in the same breath as professional fiction & media. which is where it has always belonged.)

[feverwritingandtextposts]

Break (Metal Bat x Reader)

Pairing: Metal Bat x Reader Summary: Your exams are coming up, so you decide to help Badd study. Badd has other plans though. 

Read it on AO3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24584905

I was in the mood for metal bat fluff so this is just really pointless fluff ajddsjsa. Reader is a fellow classmate.

The morning light shines in through the room’s singular window, illuminating the room with the refreshing ardour that only good weather can bring. At this time of day, the public library was blissfully empty and quiet, a welcome respite from your usual hectic days. But the tiny study room you and Badd were sandwiched in was hardly soundproof, and even within its walls you can hear the cheers and wailing of kids running about their day outside.

Out of the corner of his eye, Badd watched the kids chase each other cheerfully, feeling more restless with each passing moment. He turned to you, fully engrossed in your practice sheet, and completely ignoring him. This was not how he expected his weekend to go.

Badd threw down his pen, impatient. 

“Let's take a break,” he grumbled, sending you a mildly pleading side eye. 

You didn't bother to look up at him. 

“Badd,” you reasoned, pen not stopping its avance on the page, “its only been 15 minutes.”

Badd groaned, leaning back on his chair, tottering precariously on its back legs. “It's been 25 fuckin minutes, babe c’mon.”

You turned to face him, raising an incredulous eyebrow. “Did you really keep track?”

“Yeah?”

Rolling your eyes, you turned away with a shake of your head, resuming your work. 

“(Y/N),” Badd whined leaning in close to you. “Its a Saturday. Why are we at a library on a Saturday? We could’ve just gone to the mall, or the movies, or-”

“We’re here,” you interrupt him, putting your pen down with a sigh, “because the end of the year exams are coming up and we need to study.” You cast him a meaningful glance. He especially needs to study. 

Badd pouts, lower lip jutting out petulantly. On such a stern face, it really shouldn't be as cute as Badd makes it. Damn him. 

“But we never get any time together. We should be spending our weekends having fun!” he pleads, casting you his best approximation of puppy dog eyes that you’re sure he learnt from Zenko. He leans in a bit closer for effect, eyebrows upturned and lower lip wobbling. You squirm, feeling your weak self restraint already crumbling. 

“Fineeeeee,” you sigh, resisting the urge to smile at Badd’s instant ecstatic grin. “On one condition.”

Badd’s smile disappeared. “What…?” he asks, hesitantly. 

“We finish this practice paper first, and then we can have the break.”

Badd eyed the worksheet in front of him warily. “And what are we gonna do for our break?”

You tilted your head at him, confused by the question. He was the one who brought up the break in the first place. “I dunno? Anything you want I guess.”

That was apparently the wrong thing to say. Badd’s smile turns sly at your words, fixing you with a roguish lopsided grin that sparks butterflies in your stomach. “Anything I want?” he grins, voice dropping an octave lower suggestively. 

You snort, trying to ignore your own blushing cheeks and hoping he didn't notice (he did). “Just start your work Badd.”

“Yes ma’am,” Badd snickers, looking more refreshed than before after teasing you. 

You watch him scratch his pen on the paper, smiling to himself. You squirm in your seat, your embarrassed blush still etched on your face. Just what was Badd even planning to do during his ‘break’? His enthusiasm now is making you rethink your decisions. Not like you would mind doing… things. But here? In the library? The public library? He wouldn’t. Would he?

Even as Badd’s eyes remained trained on his paper, his smirk grew wider, as if he could sense your inner turmoil. Or maybe he could just hear you fidget. “Better start writing, Miss Honour Student,” Badd teased, turning his head a fraction to peer at you. “I’m gonna finish before you if ya keep staring.”

Your eyes narrowed at the challenge, despite your flush at being caught looking. “As if!” you snap, turning back to your worksheet, lips quirking at the sound of Badd’s responding laugh.

You managed a few more of your comprehension questions before your mind started to wander once more. It really wasn’t your fault that the thought of Badd’s hands on you was just so intoxicating…

Your steamy daydreams were cut off abruptly by Badd’s heavy hand descending on your shoulder. You freeze up under the sudden contact, shocked at your own lack of concentration. Badd leans in with a low hum, his hot breath ghosting over the shell of your ear, making you shudder. 

“What? You’re still not done?” he asks, sounding dejected as he peers at your work over your shoulder. Reaching over and involuntarily caging you in his arms, he flips over the page you’re working on. In spite of yourself, you feel your body lean back a little into his warmth. He grumbles behind you, seeing that you still have a page left to complete.

“Man, even I’M already done,” he groans, flopping back into his seat beside you. The sudden loss of contact makes you feel cold, but you keep your face straight. 

Not quite believing him, you hold out your hand for his paper. There’s no way he’s done. It hasn’t even been that long. 

You scanned through the paper quickly, blinking rapidly with each word you read. Beside you, Badd watches on seriously, head propped up on his clasped hands, elbows resting on his knees.

Its… True that he’d finished the paper… But it’d be a stretch to say that he’d finished it correctly. You sighed inwardly. Reaching, over for a pencil, you scratched out his errors quickly before tossing the worksheet back to him with a flourish.

“... Does it matter? I mean, its done.”

“Yes,” you sighed, levelling him with a look, “it matters. You’re just going to end up learning the wrong thing if you don’t correct your mistakes.”

Badd groaned, but turned back to his work obediently to do as you told him, pouting the entire time. You hid your amused smile behind your hand before turning back to your own work. Badd was doing his best, so you had to too! No more distractions!

Psyching yourself up, you dove back into your work with increased feror, blind to Badd peeking your way.

You were just finishing up your sentence when you felt your boyfriend’s hands snake onto your shoulders, gently rubbing your soft flesh through your shirt. You didn’t even realise he had gotten up to stand behind you.

“Uh,” you drawl, pausing your writing in confusion. “Badd, what are you doing?”

“Helpin’ ya,” Badd supplied cheerfully, not pausing his massage. At your lack of response he leans in closer, peering down at you with a smirk. “You were working so hard, thought I’d give you a hand.”

You looked up, meeting his burning dark eyes. “I don’t know how a massage is going to-” your breath hitched as Badd’s strong, firm fingers carefully worked out the tense knot in your shoulders. “You know what? Keep going.”

Badd snorted, warm hands continuing their ministrations. “Knew you’d like it.”

You hummed, picking up your pen and continuing with your work. Or so you would like to, but the feeling of Badd’s hands on you, and how his calloused fingers have started to creep onto the sensitive spots on your neck and collarbone, have wiped all thoughts of studying from your mind.

“Badd…” you mumbled, blush rising under his intense stare. “I think that’s enough now. I can’t concentrate.”

“Hm?” Badd grunted, fingers now thumbing confidently over your collarbone, dipping past the neckline of your shirt. “Why’s that?” he asks innocently, although the amused smirk pulling at his lips says otherwise.

You narrowed your eyes. This asshole knew exactly what he was doing to you.

At your pointed look Badd chuckles, his voice low and gravelly enough to spark a rush of heat through your body. “Well,” he drawls, leaning in, “if you can’t concentrate now, maybe you need a break?”

Groaning in defeat, you reach up, catching his large hands in your own. Badd smiles excitedly, sensing his win in sight. 

“Fine,” you chuckle, “let's take that break.”

Badd’s smile breaks into an ear splitting grin. Reaching forward to envelop you in a tight hug, he lets out a victorious whoop, making you laugh at his volume. 

“Shh!” you insist, patting his bicep, “the librarian will hear you!”

Badd laughs, unbothered, turning his face to nuzzle your cheek. “Fuck them, let em hear.”

You rolled your eyes. “And if they chase us out?”

“Well damn,” Badd says, eyes dancing with mischief, “guess we can’t study for a while then.”

“Badd.”

He laughs again, louder than before, and its so infectious you can’t help but join in. The two of you stay that way for a while, Badd leaning over you, wrapping you comfortably in his arms, just enjoying each other’s presence.

“Alright,” Badd starts, voice a low grumble in your ear. “Let’s get that break started eh?”

You flush at the implications of his words, turning to gaze at him through your eyelashes. Releasing you, Badd takes a step back to his seat, and you lean forward to throw yourself back into his arms only to pause awkwardly, arms extended, when you realise that he grabbed his backpack.

“Uh, Badd?” you ask gently, wholly confused. “What are you doing?”

Badd raised an eyebrow at you quizzically. “Leaving?” he waves a hand at you quickly. “C’mon man pack your shit, lets go.”

“Wha-” you start, still confused even as Badd reaches over and starts helping you pack your stuff. “Go where?”

“Out, duh,” he heaves your bag onto his shoulder along with his own as you sit there, gaping at him. “The weather’s great today man, let's go to the mall or something.”

“What!” you exclaimed, face reddening in annoyance or embarrassment you couldn’t tell. “Weren’t you gonna… Weren’t we gonna…?” 

“Hm?” Badd hums, one hand already on the door, turning back to look at you with a look of such genuine confusion that you nearly believe him. Nearly. “Gonna what?”

“Gonna… You know!”

“Know what?”

“You- Badd!” you splutter, blush fully threatening to burn off your cheeks as your tease of a boyfriend finally breaks out in laughter. 

“Hmm (Y/N),” Badd snickers, leaning in close to you, one hand reaching to brush the hair out of your face, “what kind of break were you thinking of eh?”

You fume quietly, glaring at him, not quite realising that the blush on your face was making you a lot less intimidating than you thought. 

“You’re terrible,” you mutter, torn between annoyance and amusement at the situation.

Badd chuckles, moving to give you a soft comforting peck on the lips, his lips quirking up into a smirk against your own as he feels you kiss him back quickly. 

“Well, now that you mention it, maybe we should move our break to your place instead hm?” 

[littlespaceporgs]

The Clone Wars Reacts - Part 5

Or Leah loses her shit at Jar Jar, thirsts for Aayla Secura for an episode and a half, and then swoons for Riyo Chuchi.

Welcome once more to the Reacts series! I’m a busy woman for now but I am setting up a schedule for this series which will be

Today we’re covering episodes 12, 13, 14 and BONUS! 15. This is because I got super bored during episode 14 and basically didnt write anything so, here you go! As per usual, major spoiler alert for season 1 of the clone wars! If you haven’t read the previous parts to this series, I suggest you do so that you can follow along! 

Part 1 - Episodes 1 and 2 Part 2 - Episodes 3, 4 and 5 Part 3 - Episodes 6, 7 and 8 Part 4 - Episodes 9, 10 and 11

Tags (if you want to join, my taglist can be found on my page!): @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky @girlvader @simping-for-fives @littlevodika @hounding-around @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life @onabouteverything @acciokenobi @catsnkooks @captainrexstan @roseofalderaan @fractiouskat

We’re well past the half-way point, so there is 2 parts left of season 1, and then onto season 2! So lets get into it!

Episode 12: The Gungan General

> heheheheheheheh jar jar I am KEEN

> I get hondo and jar jar in one episode

>> this’ll be funny

>>> actually no scratch that, this is gonna be hilarious

> oh and they woke up in a cell this will be fun

> HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA AND THEYRE BOUND TO DOOKU

> DISASTER I TELL YOU

> “if I keep my mouth shut you’ll devise a plan so get off the god forsaken planet?” “YES”

> this dude seems traitorous as fuck (im referring to one of the pirates, not dooku shockingly)

> I wish Ahsoka and Yoda were in this too, I want more disaster lineage

> ah he is indeed a traitor

> “HEIDY HO CHANCELLOR”

> JAR JAR WHOO

> “stop messing around, we’re landing. Secure yourself” “MESA TRYING ITS STUCK”

> promptly followed by jar jar falling everywhere

> oh and now he’s in the cockpit

> oh shit that senator guy is definitely dead right?

> “do control tour protégées insolence” “anakin, control your insolence, the count is concentrating”

> “do we know where we’re going?” “Ssh anakin” “DO we know where we’re going?”

> is it safe? Of course it i- riiiiiight

>> I forgot this was the clone wars for a second, this is gold

> FRIENDS DONT DRUG FRIENDS HONDO

> y’know, dooku’s quite amusing when he’s not trying to kill my favourite characters

> “are you now in command” “uh no, binks is the highest ranking” ooooohhhh boy

> ooooooohhhh and some mind tricks too, nice

> I hate to say this, but jar jar is actually smart

> holy shit

> beasties are nearby too, we’ll be fine. they run, we run

>> Dayum jar jar actually making good decisions?

> I present a real and accurate image of my reaction to this statement

> Mesa be having an idea oooohhh booooyyy

> obi wan that is no way to speak to your grandmaster

> be patient master the count is elderly and doesn’t move like he used to

> I would kill you both now if I didn’t have to drag your bodies

>> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH this is the only reaction I’ll accept

> then falling all over each other is the only thing I’ve ever needed to see

> “ this is not going well” no shit

> my question is why did obi wan not drop Dooku?? Does he actually still care about this man?

> you’re right, I don’t think youre going to be friends 🤦‍♀️😂

> sneaky lying snake

> bruh they don’t even know you’ve got the Jedi captive??????????

>> so how does that work you dumbass

> no shit, you will look like fools obi wan

> “there be some bombad clankers” 😂😂

>> “huh YOURE right, bombad clankers” I love the shock

> YOURE RIGHT HE IS SMARTER THAN HE LOOKS, GIVE JARJAR SOME CREDIT

> oh boy anakin, just keep your mouth shut genius

> man electrocution doesn’t look like fun

> HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH

> The next few lines of confused joy are me reacting to jar jar somehow single handedly taking out 3 tanks

> what the fuck

> JarJar I I’m what-

> JUST DID A GOOD THING, I DONT REGERT THIS THING AT ALLLLLLLL

> fuckin JarJar was great

> “KILL HIM HES NOT A REPRESENTATIVE, HES A PLAGUE” I’m ded 💀😢💀

> serves you right you snake, now dooku gonna choke your ass

> oooohhhhh that’s how these two twits (hondo and obi-wan) became friends

> “and... he knows where you live” Oof the subtle threat is real

> hem I love obi wan very much and his sarcasm

 Episode 13: Jedi crash

> I JUST SAW AAYLA I AM EXCITED I AM ALSO ATTRACTED TO HER VERY MUCH

> SHES HOT

> I LOVE HER

> AND HER VOICE JUST MAKES ME ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

> I wish I was bly, not gonna lie

> I have a quick question - the 501st colour is blue right? Then why do they have a gold squad, doesn’t the extra colours just confuse things?

> I love seeing anakin and Ahsoka in action coolest thing to watch

> And anakin

>> I am also quite attracted to him

>>> imagine dragging your hands through that hair as he- wait no I have minors in my followers not gonna finish that

> Uh oh

>> Oh anakin you twit

>>> HE LOCKED HOMSELF IN WITH AN EXPLOSION JDGKJDJFKFKFKFKFF

> HES INSANE

> Are all Jedi so reckless? Just the good ones - love this by the way

> Oooohh shit for a STAR

> I mean like? I know anakin doesn’t die, but this shit is concerning

> Perfected the art of destroying ships and getting master almost killed? Sounds familiar

> I hate it when they just call them “padawan “ it just feels very impersonal like bleh

> Like I love aayla but god the Jedi preach some bullshit

>> God forbid someone raises a child and gets attached to it

>>> Like for fucks sake

>>>> Can you tell this is something I’m passionate about?

> Anyway, moving on

> Oh hi anakin! You’re alive!

> That bird lookin thing is tryna eat my boy 😤

> Oop - well that dudes dead

> Aawwwwwww aayla looks so sad, this makes me sad too

> Can we just appreciate this?

> Well these little critters are cute

> Ooooohhh I think I agree with this little dude

> You can skip the paragraph if you like, its just me going off about ‘peacekeeping’

> Alright gonna get mildly into it for a second, the clone wars really gets into it with episodes like this, displaying how the entire galaxy was starting to lose faith in the Jedi and their peacekeeping ways, in the movies we just got that people just started hating the Jedi because they became part of the war, but this really fleshes it out and shows just how slowly and gradually the loss of faith is. Because he’s right, the Jedi aren’t peacekeepers anymore, they bring as much destruction with them that the separatists do and have become symbols of war. They’re fighting for a good reason yes, but they can no longer claim that they are peacekeepers or that they played no role in this war.

> ANYWAY BACK TO REACTS

> AH MY TWO FAVOURITE WOMEN AND A PRETTY BACKGROUND AGAIN!! They really do be doing me a great service

Part 14: Defenders of Peace

> I’m really not into this episode, just saying it now

> Anakins just as bad as obi wan, like honestly just chill bro, fucking REST

>> MY BOYS DESERVE SOME GODDAMN REST AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL OK-

> Okay but is it taking a life if it’s a droid?

> Ugh this dudes ugly as fuck

> What did you think was gonna happen?? Of course your village was going to be ransacked

> I could go on forever about the pointlessness of this war like it just makes me mad palpatine you slimy git-

> My reacts this episode are really boring huh, I’m not into it 😭

*fully I didn’t write anything for about 10 minutes here because it’s just a little boring*

> HOLY SHIT NOW THATS A FUCKING WEAPON

> Yep sorry that’s it for this ep, I’m so bored 😂

>> Anyway, bonus episode because that one was short!

Part 15: Trespass

> YES OBIWAN WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO

> AND IS THAT RIYO CHUCHI I SPY?????

> Hahahahahahahhahahaha it’s not tatooine, you got that right

> Oh god this dude already sounds like a dick (its the chancellor dude but not palpatine)

> Why’s he so defensive over it?

> Oh yikes, that does not look good

> Seppies don’t do that though - this is... odd

> Ah and the same thing has been done to the droids

> Off topic, but I think I’m going to make a clone wars drinking game that I can do while I do my reacts, so I’m going to make that this week, send me your ideas in the comments or dm me!

> Back to ep - pfffffffttt obi wans little taps and then anakin really goes WHACK

> Anyway I’m going to do this in the next couple days and then every Friday night I’ll watch a few eps and drink away

> Alright back to the episode once more

> Abominable snowman????

>> Definitely

> This is gonna go well isn’t it?

> “Well? Say something”

>> “Just shut up” *visible eye roll*

> What the fuck is their mouth

> Okay really obi wan, I think it’s pretty clear they don’t speak basic

> YEEEEEEAAAHHH THATS MY BOI ANAKIN

> Awwwwwwww that shits cute, fucking bear huugggg I want to be hugged like that

> I’m not fussed if it’s anakin, obi wan or kit fisto but please someone love me

>> Preferably kit fisto

> Anyway this dudes a dick (again, its the chancellor dude)

> They obviously have intelligence, and this dude has issues

>> I’m thinking he’s trying to compensate for something 👀

> Oof you really gonna tell a Jedi what to do?

> HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA the other people’s were there already

> Ugh he reminds me of my very racist grandparents oh boy

> You’ve been told like 4 times that it is not your jurisdiction anymore and you still can’t take it?

>> BRUH

> She’s so tiny and adorable and her voice is just 🥰🥰🥰🥰

>> Oh no

>>> I’m simping for another character

> Surely this guy dies

> HAHAHAHAHAH HE JUST GOT SPEARED SERVES YOU RIGHT MOTHERFUCKER

> What a dick, he shall not be missed

> She’s just, so pretty??? And smart????

>> FUCK MY BISEXUAL ASS CANT HANDLE THIS

> he’s seriously not dead yet?

> AAAHH RIYO YOU SMART GIRL YEEEEESSSS NEGOTIATE THAT PEEEEAAACCEEEE

> THATS MY GIRL SENATOR CHUCHI YEEEESSS

Welp that’s it for today folks, it was lovely, see y’all at some point this week where I say the drinking game rules and then next drunken Friday (even though these are gonna be released on saturdays but I write them on fridays?)

[chicago-reeed]

Detroit Evolution

So

These are some notes that I took while I watched DE for the first time. It’s a lot. Like, six pages, a lot. I decided I should probably spare everyone’s dashboards and put it under a cut.

Warning: overuse of the fuck word because I am a dramatic little shit who gets overwhelmed easily

- Alright here we go. I don’t know if I’m mentally prepared to go through this hhhhh

- THE CINEMATOGRAPHY I NUT

- fuck he smellin the flowers good

- “hey tin can :P” “good morning gavin :P”

- I’m actually fucking crying IVE HAD TO PAUSE SO MANY TIMES JUST TO BREATHE AND IM ONLY AT 1:25

- FUCK ITS 1:27 AND HES FIXING HIS COLLAR HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WATCH THIS WHEN MY VISION IS BLURRY WITH TEARS

- “I don’t need to breathe” BAZINGA

- *slaps my face repeatedly* keep it together bitch

- “I like the way you look<3” aaaaaaaaannd here I go again

- HAHAHA HE WAS DAYDREAMING SAME NINES SAME

- oh god oh god witty banter WITTY BANTER I CANT FUNCTION

- C H R I S  IM SCREAMING

- detective motha fuckin chris I don’t need to see any more I got what I came for

- Honestly all they need to do to calm down the protestors is get nines out there so he can say “please stop you’re being very mean >:/“ and they would probably just go home ngl

- “I’ve never been intimidated by people who hate androids” OH MY GOD NINES WITH THE BAZINGA’S TODAY WHAT A LEGEND

- can I just say the white jacket is such a power move I can’t believe nines invented fashion

- Gavin bein soft and reaching back for Nines in the crowd🥺homygod

- Gavin “no one calls him plastic but ME” Reed

- The only time I will support police brutality™️

- Gavin is so OP we stan

- Nines “you raise a fist, then I get PISSED😡” RK900

- “y’all have a nice day” Protect Detective Chris Miller at all costs

- Nines sees Gavin’s scars as charming PUT ME TO DEATH

- ADA OH LORD SHES STUNNING IM SOBBING

- Okay I need to pause and breathe again the cinematography got me chokin

- Uh ooohhh someone is jeeaaalouus😛

- Nines really said “no worry fam I’ll airdrop the case files to u”

- Ada: *exists*

- me: I hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me

- HA GAV DEFINITELY JEALOUS RIP

- And nines back at it again with the sass I AM LIVING

- Chris and Gavin’s reactions to Nines imitating Ada is the best thing I’ve seen all year

- “I can do your voice too” HIS FACE IMDBDHDJKDJD CRYIGGGSBSN

- oh ;-; shit Michael really finna make me cri

- God damn the intro credits are so beautiful

- TINAAAAAAA BABYYYYY

- Real coffee hours with the sharktreuse mug🦈

- “our boy” SHIT IM CRYING AGAIN

- Tina knows Gavin was absolutely feral before Nines appeared at the DPD

- Half An Asshole squad please stand up we ride at dawn

- Gavin with the knockoff timbs WE STAN😎

- maybe “thank god, I hate you, you love me, move your feet, oop” will be our always

- I’m living for the whole “criminal minds” vibe goin on here

- Bruh Gavin got the hook-ups fr fr

- ❤️WITTY BANTER WITTY BANTER WITTY BANTER W❤️

- The level of reed900 is staggering

- I’ve had to pause and breathe so many times it’s pathetic I’m not even 15 mins in

- GAVIN SAID mwah<3🖕IM FUCKING DIED

- 850% godt damn Nines got that IOS 50 update

- NINES PUT CHRIS’ PROMOTION PARTY IN THE CALENDAR WHAT A GOOD DAD

- maybe “our calendar” will be our always

- Chris “wingman of the year” Miller

- Who’s that Pokémon??? It’s JEALOUS GAV

- The way Nines said “I don’t feel anything for her.” I see you bud

- insecure Gavin needing reassurance™️

- Im fucking dying I fucking died bro BRO WE ALL KNOW WHO YOURE TALKING ABOUT, NINES, WE ALL KNOW

- Asexual Nines FTW👊😤👏👏👏❤️He gives zero fucks of ANY kind

- AN ANGEL HAS APPEARED WITH A GLOWY BLUE SCARF

- BREAKING NEWS: affection-starved Gavin™️ is literally begging for love

- GAVIN REED STOP BEING MEAN TO GAVIN REED OR ELSE

- “But there’s much more to admire about you than to detest, I think.”<333

- JJ not being suspicious at all nope no way Jose

- Lazzo has said two words and I love him already

- I don’t think I’ve seen this episode of COPS before🤔🤔🤔

- We all know Nines secretly wants to wear those fun glasses

- “Officer I swear I’ve never seen that arm in my life, it’s my friend’s he just asked me to hold it for him, Android arm what android arm heh”

- “Like robot arms, not gun arms.” You’re doing great sweetie🥰

- HAND TOUCH HAND TOUCH HAND TOUCH H

- Chris “the interrogator” Miller😎

- THE CINEMATOGRAPHY

- soft n sleepy gav™️ is soft n sleepy

- FUCKING SLEEVELESS SWEATSHIRT IVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT GAV IN A SLEEVELESS SWEATSHIRT FOR SO LONG AND NOW IT’S REAL IM

- You can wear my😋😘sweeaatshiiiirt😝😁🤗 (I’m sorry I had to)

- inconspicuous loving glances™️

- #GiveAndroidsFuckinHealthcare2K20

- AAAHHHHHHHH I CANTT BREAF

- HEAD>ON>SHOULDER

- INCONSPICUOUS LOVING GLANCES™️

- Gavin has not slept in 80 years

- He really said “I’m fine” BITCH

- Bed time for brats™️ no later than 8:30pm

- hell yeah sleepover time

- “stop lookin at my insides n shit” I want that on a t shirt

- ANDROID DREAMS

- Nines is so soft I might die

- But he’s somehow equally suave as fuck how is this fair

- Oh my god dream!gavin is like Nines’ conscious this is so presh

- “What do you think Gavin was gonna say?” nsndJSKDOFIWKDBDNDNSJDBBDJDJDJDNDJXJNDIFUIFIEKWN HES STILL THINKING ABOUT THEIR CONVO

- dream!gavin you sly dog

- “To have this. Out there.” DONT FUCK WITH MY HEART LIKE THAT THIS INNER-MONOLOGUE FLUFF IS SO SWEET

- Nines being insecure™️

- Listen to dream!gavin, Nines, he has big brain

- The fact that Nines subconsciously KNOWS that irl!Gav “just wants someone that doesn’t hate him” but he’s STILL like alas, I can never be what gavin needs :’(

- nu babie don’t be sad🥺

- oh my god they’re both train wrecks protect them at all cost

- c r i p e s❤️the reed900 hurt/comfort we all needed

- FUCK

- Concerned boyfriends™️

- Maybe “I’m fine” will be our always

- GAV🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💔💔💔💔💔💔

- Insecure boyfriends™️

- Nines “I’m not going to get any closer to Gavin because I can’t help him but also I want to cuddle with him because he had a nightmare” RK900

- did someone say  c a t

- dumb babie gav jus spoon the dumb android so you both feel better

- Me: *rubs evil hands together* aha here comes the angst

- cue tragic backstory

- oh

- tragic backstory indeed

- YES DAD!FOWLER WE LOVE

- Gavin is so desperate for anyone to care about him I’m crying tears

- SHIT IT’S CUDDLE TIME™️ NOW IM REALLY FUCKING CRYING

- Alexa this is so god damn sad play despacito

- YES

- HAND>HOLDING

- HEAD>ON>SHOULDER

- NINES’ SKIN RETRACTING WHERE THEIR HANDS ARE TOUCHING THIS IS LIKE EVERY REED900 STAN’S DREAM COME TRUE

- Oh shit it’s about to get domestic I don’t think I’m mentally prepared

- YOU CAN WEAR MY😝💪SWEEAATSHIIIIIIRT🤪🔥🔥🔥 (I’m never letting the sleeveless sweatshirt thing go)

- Uh oh NO FUCK I’ve read enough fan fiction to know that this is where Gavin’s fucking trust issues kick in and he decides pushing nines away is safer than getting closer to him SHIT

- AND NINES GETS CONFUSED AND HURT

- AND THEN GAVIN GETS HURT

- I feel angst in this Chili’s tonight

- “I need you to leave” aaaaaaahhhhhhhh here come a whole different kind of tears

- frick dude that ouches

- Insert sad babie noises

- Oml the tension☠️poor Chris and Ada are like😑😑

- Chris could solve this case all by himself change my mind

- Gavin and Nines = (ò///-///ó)

- Chris = :D~oblivious~

- HELL YEAH PARTY TIME

- BEST WIVES TINA AND VALERIE AHHHH

- reed900 who??? I don’t know her. I only know ❤️valerina❤️

- I can’t believe Gavin and Nines invented angst

- I went and got blue gatorade just so I could pretend I was drinking thirium like Nines

- #DetectiveChen2K20

- real sad gavin hours

- Ruh roh Gavin bouta die from the ‘rona virus because rat man smokes hella

- CINEMATOGRAPHY CHEEEEECK HOLY SHIT

- my entire aesthetic in a single shot jfc

- Aaaaahhhh Nines trying to be a supportive bf just makes me ;-; [takes damage]

- HES ACCEPTED GAVIN AS MORE THAN A PARTNER🥺that, my friends, is what we call character development

- We stan the otp aggressively talking about their feelings

- “I’m not going anywhere.” FUCK™️

- SMOKE>FACE

- Aaaaand they’re back at square one. It’s cool it’s fine it’s all good we can work with this.

- Gavin: I don’t need you ò-ó

- Gavin: *immediately after Nines leaves* fuck ó-ò

- “It’s fine”™️

- I love Ada so much hhhhhh she said 🤨

- “Basic Instinct” TINA WITH THE HEAT OMG

- *nervous laugh* haha Ada sis maybe chill a little bit ha ha

- oh no I have a not good feeling

- ADA CHILL ADA CHILL

- WHY IS HE FOLLOWING HER INTO AN ALLEY AFTER THAT SKETCHY TALK

- AAA FUCK FUCK FUCJDJEMNSNDJDNXU FUCK I FUCKING KNEW IT FUCK SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT FUCK

- 😖x1000000

- Oh my god this is so fucking sad Alexa play The Sound of Silence

- Nines got fucked up and Gavin is CONCERNED

- aayyyyy bro Nines full on nakey

- Tina and Gavin sad bro huggin👊😔

- ADA HOW DARE YOU. HOW VERY DARE YOU.

- Uh oh Nines is fckn PISSED

- he MAD mad

- Tina speakin straight facts I love her

- WOOP GAVIN FINALLY ADMITTING HE NEEDS NINES

- f u c k  right in the heart

- I don’t want to attempt writing any notes at this moment because my thoughts are completely incoherent I am a MESS

- “I need you to come back, Nines.” DONT PLAY W ME LIKE THAT

- HAND HOLDING FTW

- Did Gavin really almost bring Nines back through the power of love I am SHAKING

- Dream!Gavin speaking truth as ALWAYS

- These damn flashbacks making me feel some type of way

- OH SHIT HE AWAKE

- that actually low key jump scared me

- God damn these sets are so fucking pro, I’m so happy

- REUNION

- Tina really say “Chris ;) ;) lets go get some ;) coffee ;) ;) ;) ;)”

- CHRIS’ REALIZATION FACE FUCKING LAID ME OUT I HAD TO PAUSE I WAS LAUGJINB SO HARD

- You Undead Asshole™️

- Gavin: ( ⚆ _ ⚆ ) fuck he actually heard me talk about my feelings n shit

- Nines: You literally told me you fucking needed me like five minutes ago

- Gavin: huh weird that doesn’t sound like me I actually hate you

- ooOOHHH  S H I T

- REALLY IS THIS REALLY HAPPENIGN

- woah shit sorry I blacked out for a second what happened

- MY POOR LITTLE FUCKING REED900 HEART IS EXPLODING AND IMPLODING AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME

- CAAAAAAAAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE TONIIIGGHTT

- holy shit I actually gave myself a bloody fucking nose because I smacked my face too hard in excitement

- ❤️💘🧡💞💕💘💓💚💛💘💞💓💛💛💞💘❤️💚💘💜💕💖❤️❤️💕💓💗💘💖💚💝❤️

- FUCK

- “What dipshit programmed you to do that?” 🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️FUCK

- My aunt came in and told me she heard me shouting then asked why I was crying

- HAHA FUCKING CHRIS IS MEEEE

- shit I need to like..,,,,physically recover from that

- whew okay break time is over let’s fucking go

- Nines in the cheeky turtleneck I SEE U

- #DETECTIVECHEN2K20

- Gavin: I’m ready to take this hoe DOWN

- Initiate protocol: SAVE ADA FROM HERSELF

- I could listen to Tina talk to dispatch for hours🥰❤️❤️❤️

- WHITE TRENCH COAT WHITE TRENCH COAT WHITE TRENCH COAT WHITE T

- Gavin being hella concerned boyfriend™️

- FIGHT SCENE™️

- omfg that crowbar really went *CLANG* when it hit Ada’s steel fkn abs what a legend💪😎

- Hell yeah epic Nines gif moment

- no Ada don’t choke Gavin it only makes him stronger

- CHRIS THE MOTHER FUCKIN GOAT😎👏👏👏he really said “fuck ur monologue I’m here to get shit done”

- ADA QUEEN YOURE OKAY SWEETIE

- That character development godt damn

- I might be reaching but Gavin is now wearing a white/off-white shirt/gray that kINDA RESEMBLES DREAM!GAVIN’S SHIRT. Coincidence? I THINK NOT. THATS SYMBOLISM IF I EVER DID SEE IT.

- “buyer’s remorse, huh?”

- “I can’t be everything you need.”

- That awkward moment when you realize the person you were hiding your feelings from has also been hiding their feelings from you.

- “a year of that fuckin’...Ken Doll face smirkin’ at me every day” BE CUTER GAVIN, I DARE YOU.

- naked hand = love

- CHEEKY BASTARDS

- FUCK FUCK FUCK ME

- THAT WAS SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL

- So my review of this film could be summed up by saying that I basically cried for an hour and fifteen minutes.

- Holy damn

[hufflautia]

hI this is a tOTALLY ANONYMOUS PERSON ASKING. and i am asking u to answer everything on here😌

lmajfniasnf yall i forced menna to send me this ask and i was kinda kidding but also a bit serious but also kinda kidding- ok anwyas here we go 

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed? closed 

(2) Do You Have Freckles? no 

(3) Can You Whistle? yes

(4) Last Song You Listened To. “Needed Me” by Rihanna

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour? grayish green

(6) Relationship Status. in love with loki<3! 

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now? cold, my fingers are cold and menna knows this 

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky? no i did not, quite the opposite actually! 

(9) How Many Followers? around 650 

(10) Zodiac Sign. taurus

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour? brown

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily? yea

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower? usually 

(14) What Books Are You Reading? no book bc i have no brain cells 

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14. 

“i cannot imagine,” replied the scarecrow; “but we can go and see.” -the wonderful wizard of oz! i forgot i had that book, i got it from library for school last year but then quarantine hit and i couldn't return it bc the library closed 

(16) Favourite Anime? i barely watch anime, so i guess “Attack on Titans”, being that its one of the few animes I've watched

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of? my math teacher 

(18) Do You Collect Anything? only the souls of the innocent. also chapstick. 

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch? wontons that fucked my stomach up bc the meat was not cooked properly :D don't we love that?????????????!!!!!!

(20) Do You Dance In The Car? not rlly 

(21) Favourite Animal? dog 

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics? no 

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed? usually 11 or 12- depends on day

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now? no 

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean? pool 

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog? clandestineloki

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water? i don't care as long as its safe

(28) What Makes You Happy? my siblings, my best friends, loki, tom hiddleston

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

i saw this and thought it was a good fit but then i realized it was too calm so

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music? without

(31) Dogs Or Cats? DOGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be? yellow 

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox. i don't care

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean? I've never swam in a lake before, so lake

(35) Do You Believe In Magic? yea

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing? gray

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue? no 

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It? depends

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You? yes 

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now? of course, loki will always be an obsession of mine bruh 

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly? nO BC IM SCARED OF BUTTERFLIES 

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People? yes:’( 

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams? of course

(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes? yes 

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry. ParaNorman

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds? sunflower seeds

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be? the neighbourhood

(48) Are You A Picky Eater? kinda 

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper? eh 

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning? kinda 

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write? yes 

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud? depends on mood

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents? wrap 

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up? sleepy hallow ft foushee- deep end freestyle 

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather) winter?? 

(56) What Are You Craving Right Now? l o k i (my original answer was warmth but its basically the same thing) 

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed. 

(58) What Is Your Gender? female

(59) Coffee Or Tea? tea

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About? nope, i finished it on Friday and Saturday like a bad bitchhhhhhhhh

(61) What Is Your Sexuality? bisexual

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning? depends on day 

(63) Favourite Pokemon? squirtle i guess

(64) Favourite Social Media? insta 

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories? they're fine 

(66) Do You Get Homesick? kinda 

(67) Are You A Virgin? ill leave it up to ur imagination bitch (MENNA IM SO SORRY IM NOT CALLING U A BTICH IM JUST SAYING THAT IN GENERAL) 

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now? i forgot the name, but its white and fancy and from the same brand 

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm that is a very good question, probably the motel 

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life? AHAH depends on what u mean by “still in my life”!!!!!!! i guess technically yes, but I've already cut off those bitches in my head 😌 manifesting it into existence <3 

(71)  Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters? avatar 2 

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex? i don't have one 

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now? “not you, i didn't wanna hurt you”

(74)  What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest? brown bc if i say any other color, its probably a yt person and also brown be smexy

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set? yes, yes 

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate? honey buttered biscuits 

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone? among us, maybe Minecraft 

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not? no bc i don't know how and i would call for someone else to help 

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?probably bc I'm a hermit

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network? amsifnda this is ME ur talking to 

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People? yes kinda, unless they're awkward (aHEM BREAKOUT ROOMS WITH NEW BUT AWKWARD PEOPLE-) 

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them. i used to but not anymore 

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?  i want it closed but the person i share the room with leaves it open bc they say we’re gonna fuckin suffocate if we leave it closed and i hate it bc ✨trauma✨! DONT WE LOVE TRAUMA??!?!?!?!??!?!?!? :D............

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today? i baked biscuits, i did college stuff, i showered

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed? usually mismatched pjs 

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now. chapstick, natural skincare serum, lotion, face masks

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person? day 

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc. don't have any

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

a snake chased me and it was weird as fuck

(90) Favourite Soda Drink? don't have one 

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite? people laughing, violin and piano, my friends voices, my siblings voices

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More? SWEATS

(93) How Do You Look Right Now? comfy 

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You. showering

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want? maybe an important quote? “dont trust owls” imprinted on my face

(96) Favourite YouTuber? stephanie soooooooooooooooooooooo 

[happymetalgirl]

The 15 Worst Metal Albums of 2020

This list might have been shorter if not for my running into a few awful albums at the end of the year that I had been avoiding wisely up until that point. My morbid curiosity got the best of me, and what’s done is done. I’m paying the price for it by going back over the worst albums I heard all year. Let’s get this over with.

15. Ghøstkid - Ghøstkid

This was the debut solo album from the former singer of Eskimo Callboy, who had a pretty decent backing of hype heading into this release under the Ghøstkid moniker, but with the namesake frontman putting in no more than the standard performance on a bunch of poorly assembled tracks in an unappealing and dated poppy metalcore style, ultimately the eponymous album wound up disappointing me pretty substantially.

14. Powerman 5000 - The Noble Rot

Powerman 5000 are just such a low-rate band that even one of their more okay albums makes it here. While not as astoundingly, mind-numbingly basic as their worst material, The Noble Rot is still some of the most unevolved, underwritten, and forgettable electro rock and industrial metal I’ve heard from a big name artist. This is some eighth grade level songwriting here, and that’s a fuckin’ feat for a band that’s been around longer than any eighth grader has.

13. Corey Taylor - CMFT

There was a lot of hype around Corey Taylor finally coming out with a solo project, and it was pretty damn disappointing to hear a bunch of uninteresting classic rock too tacky for Stone Sour. CMFT focuses on the fun side that has made its creator such an enigmatic figurehead in the metal press, but its one-note approach does little more than highlight Corey Taylor’s songwriting deficiencies. I really could have seen this album turning out better too, with just some more time and care put into it, if a fun time of an album is what Taylor was going for. Unfortunately Taylor tried to make a party album and a grand ceremonial tribute to his greatness at the same time, and ego-petting and partying don’t really go hand in hand.

12. Evildead - United States of Anarchy

It has some good bones underneath it, but Evildead’s long overdue (if anyone was asking for it) third album wears out its welcome so quickly with some of the most adolescent thrash I’ve heard in a while. The band gets some good rhythms going and the vocals aren’t terrible either, fitting the older thrash style pretty well. But the band’s predictable formula tires out very quickly, and the political commentary of the lyrics is too cheesy and cringeworthy to ignore. It seems every year we get a handful of these kinds of albums that try to get into the simmering thrash revival with some ultra retro approach, and a good portion of those albums are from long-defunct bands who figure their primitive old-school approach might be a selling point despite their sounds often being even more juvenile against the backdrop of today’s metal landscape. So it’s not a huge surprise or anything to hear an album as ham-fisted and corny as United States of Anarchy; this year it just happened to be Evildead.

11. Five Finger Death Punch - F8

They may not always place highest in this list, but they always manage to make it here, and this was actually an improvement on the last album, not that that’s saying all that much. In fact, I’d say this is the only time in the band’s history that they actually shifted their trajectory upwards. But while the band’s ugly continual creative decay has been a hard thing to watch and made them the five finger punching bag of the metal world, there seems to be a large enough swath of mouthbreathing chuds who love their incoherent derivative shit and flock to their shows enough to put them in lucrative headlining slots and on top of the metal world. Goddamn that sure sounds a lot like someone else we all know doesn’t it. I’ve criticized them plenty in the past, and while indeed an improvement, F8 only mildly remedies the numerous problems with Five Finger Death Punch. Still septic to the system are the predictably formulaic and tiresome songwriting, the stale production, the corny butt rock choruses, the shitty bootlicking worldview that bleeds into Ivan Moody’s douchey and faux-deep lyrics, the contrived ballads and country-dabbling. Even with an improvement in the flow of the track listing and a few more bangers that somewhat hearken back to their first album, F8 is still an over-thought and overly calculated batch of Sirius XM fodder that’s trying to please everyone in some superficial way. I’ll grant that it seems as though the band realized they had been giving the more metal-immersed side of their fanbase that has been with them the longest smaller and smaller crumbs with each new album. I’m not gonna hold my breath for this being anything more than placating for the time being; I’m sure the next album will find the band back on whatever bullshit they feel (or their execs feel) they need to be on to pull enough streams from inattentive radio metal bros. I always end with the disclaimer that I still steadfastly stand by the band’s first two albums, and even American Capitalist to a degree, and that I totally acknowledge the immense potential for greatness this band could seemingly at any time decide to fulfill. Ivan Moody is a talented vocalist with a lot of star power and they really could have been the second coming of Pantera or singlehandedly ignited a new wave of American groove metal and metalcore or carried it on their own. But instead the band have followed the money on the path of least resistance to fast-track their way to the top of festival tickets, which I’m sure affords them quite enough luxury and comfort in life, more than most bands these days get, but it doesn’t exempt them from criticism, and unfortunately I think their legacy will show that they were a lowest common denominator kind of band at the end of the day when they could have been, again, like a second Pantera or something.

10. Anvil - Legal at Last

Another year, another album of Anvil unable to evolve past their prototypic thrash of their forty-year-old origins. Though as tacky as ever, Anvil actually also managed to make a mild improvement on their last album on the musical front at least. The songs are a little more energetic and easier to get through, if not for the lyricism though. Anvil lyrics are never anything beyond a fourth-grader’s poetry assignment for their English class, but some of the Facebook boomer lyrics here are fucking cringy dude. A quick look at the track listing will let you know exactly where you’re gonna find the juiciest cringe, but honestly, even as far as cringe goes it’s nothing comedically special and cringe culture in general is played out anyway. So do yourself a favor and just ignore Anvil the way they deserve to be ignored.

9. Halestorm - Reimagined

It feels a little harsh to place an EP here, especially for a band whose album back in 2018 was one of the best things I have heard to come out of hard rock in a long time. But these stripped back covers and revisions of songs from the band’s catalog just suck all the oomph out of them, perhaps making the case by contrast for the importance of the role the rest of the band behind the indeed charismatic powerhouse frontwoman Lzzy Hale play in making their sound what it is. It’s unlikely this points to any kind of new direction for them, so I’m not particularly worried about them running into this problem again. Plus, I don’t think Halestorm and Lzzy Hale are like fundamentally incompatible with more ballad-y rock music, this forced balladization of older songs just did not work, and it makes perfect sense as to why.

8. Gama Bomb - Sea Savage

The fact that this album is only number 8 on this list is just depressing for its reminder of just how much shittier it got this year. The fact that there are seven albums from this yet worse than Sea Savage, goddamn. With one exception, this was maybe the stupidest album I heard all year, at least in the thrash department it was. God this thing is a sugar high mess. I feel like a toddler on an entire bag of Halloween candy or an elementary schooler on a 2-liter of Mountain Dew sat at a computer to program a thrash album would’ve probably come up with something like this. The erratic operatic highs and dumbass lyrics, it all just embodies everything that ever made thrash look bad. It’s like that drunk guy at a party who’s hyper as shit and doing a bunch of crazy stunts for attention because he thinks it’ll make the people there like him more, but really he’s just embarrassing himself. Yeah, definitely the worst thrash metal album I heard all year, and one I wish I could unhear.

7. Amaranthe - Manifest

One of the albums I was avoiding but reviewed late out of my own weird sense of obligation that I wasn’t surprised to find only validated my reasons for avoiding it in the first place. The weird combo of dancy pop music and power metal isn’t as crazy of an idea as it might seem at first thought. In fact, that’s basically in part what Babymetal are doing, and actually getting better and better at. But Amaranthe get the worst of both worlds with Manifest, unsavory pop melodies and utterly generic symphonic metal to make for something I’m not at all surprised I was so repulsed by.

6. Trapt - Shadow Work

Yep, I listened to it. God, no wonder this band is flailing in irrelevance with aggressive MAGA nonsense being their only audible desperate plea for attention. The album, thank fuck, isn’t steeped in the same bitch boy tantrum that the band’s singer has engaged in all year to the point of getting his band’s Facebook page banned for hate speech, and the music isn’t like offensively poorly made or anything like that either. There’s clearly a conscious meeting of the baseline requirements for the type of music they make, but holy fuck it’s so damn flavorless and predictable. It’d be one thing if this was the trendy thing to be doing, but this diet hard rock for people who think Three Days Grace is too wild has been out of fashion for over a decade. And Trapt are just recycling the same dumb formula that overstayed it’s welcome in the early 2000’s. Yeah, I’m not surprised at all, but god, it’s the kind of thing that has to be apparent to the band themselves too unless they’re lacking of any and all self-awareness. Trapt have thrown themselves to the forefront of the online metal world’s discourse by being an annoying, toxic, and childish presence all year; the silver lining being the unity among metalheads in roasting their laughable posturing about their Pandora numbers and the juicy memes about their one hit “Headstrong” that rile the snowflake singer up without fail. And this shit album is just another reason to laugh at them and more fuel to roast their crybaby Trumper frontman with. Go back into your hole, Trapt. 3/10

5. Unleash the Archers - Abyss

I talked about it in my review, but there really is only one simple thing that sinks this album so low. And that is just how incredibly low-effort and lifeless it is with a genre that’s supposed to be so life-affirming. Power metal isn’t the most highly revered genre in metal, but that’s just for its cheesiness. I love it; when it’s at its best, it’s some of the most inspiring metal music out there and I genuinely wish there was a bigger demand across the board for it. But Unleash the Archers just sound so flat and unenthusiastic in this album, and, sorry, in power metal, unabashed enthusiasm is just nonnegotiable. The guitar parts are phoned in and lacking in imagination, and the vocals especially are so narrow-range, it’s all so antithetical to the ethos of power metal and it doesn’t make a strong case for itself. I’ll leave it there; this album is lazy and lifeless so I feel no need to waste any of my time and work on it.

4. Burzum - Thûlean Mysteries

Ol’ Varg must’ve needed a new wizard hat or camouflage pants or whatever goofy shit he’s been doing since retiring the Burzum name to focus on his racism and LARPing because I thought Burzum was supposed to be finished. I thought you were done with Burzum, Varg. Apparently not too done to not dump an hour and a half of embarrassingly half-baked ambient dungeon synth song fragments that sound, so many of them, quite obviously unfinished. Varg Vikernes has been a washed-up shell of the musical god the various weirdos who idolize him make him out to be for a long time now, and it has shown in the gradually degrading work he had put out after his release from prison. Yet after clearly not caring about creating music in any meaningful way for a long time, Varg drops this heap of shit in his fans’ laps. I suppose they deserve it, but I’m sure some of them are delusional enough to lap it up with a smile on their face while still believing their white nationalist idol to be a musical genius. Again, it’s entirely dull ambient music, not metal at all, but it deserves to be shit upon for its astounding laziness and purposelessness.

3. Asking Alexandria - Like a House on Fire

Doubling down on exactly the unflattering crossover of pop music with their significantly sanitized butt rock in their apparent quest for arena glory that started with their self-titled album back in 2017, Asking Alexandria’s bid for the big spotlight that Imagine Dragons occupies didn’t get any stronger this year with Like a House on Fire. After three or four years of aiming for this style, the band still aren’t even all that competent with the basics of fucking pop rock, which is pretty downright laughable. Honestly, for an album so high up here on my shit list, my feelings on it are more or less just that of unsurprised disappointment; as soon as I got a feel for what the band were doing with the album, I knew it was going to be a mess of predictable results. And lo and behold. This was just such a wholly inexcusably floppy paper towel of an album, and one more Asking Alexandria release I know I won’t be returning to ever again.

2. Hollywood Undead - New Empire, Vol. 2

Coming on at the last minute to get on the scoreboard, reliably, is Hollywood Undead. When I reviewed both volumes of this project earlier, I referred to them as “corporate Linkin Park”, and I stand by that 100%. This album especially showcases nothing but what an incoherent, vapid, clout-chasing act they are, with such a corny, focus-grouped sound that sounds like it was made in a lab by a bunch of out-of-touch boomers. God, they could’ve been safe too if they had left it with the more tolerable first volume back in January, but this follow-up sequel from just this month was exactly why I had avoided listening to the first installment in the first place. And I should’ve never played this second one either. The album opener, “Medicate”, is probably the worst song I sat through in my own volition this year, and the rest of the album doesn’t get much better. It’s nothing new for Hollywood Undead after I gave their 2017 album my award for least favorite album of that year: more unfitting interplay between machismo posturing Eminem-cosplay and the sappiest, wimpiest radio rock and pop choruses; more cringy tough-guy struggle bars; more forgettable-at-best instrumentals. Congrats again, Hollywood Undead, you made one of the worst albums of the year once again.

But even worse than Hollywood Undead is an album that I feel like is already so legendarily bad, that there is no other album that could’ve been sat here. It had to be this one.

1. Six Feet Under - Nightmares of the Decomposed

Shitty metal bands everywhere can breathe a sigh of relief any year Six Feet Under decide to put out new music because any album they release is just about bound to end up as everyone’s #1 worst album of the year, and boy is that guarantee becoming more and more airtight with each successive release. It’s truly astounding too how Six Feet Under manages to outdo themselves every time. I don’t even want to think about what could possibly come after Nightmares of the Decomposed; we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. But for now, holy fermented shit, this thing is not just bad, it’s like the holy grail of terrible TERRIBLE albums and I don’t want to know what kind of apocalyptically despicable album Chris Barnes and company could possibly conjure to outdo this one. And make no mistake, it’s still Chris Barnes dragging this band down. I gave this album a 1/10 instead of a 0/10 because there was at least a sliver of salvageable instrumentation on it, as thin of a sliver as it was, a few halfway decent musical ideas of you squinted hard enough. The instrumentalists are checked out and clearly just participating for the paycheck, but I can’t even imagine what kind of professional instrumental performance could possibly overshadow the embarrassment that Chris Barnes put to tape in the studio here. Maybe that says it, because it honestly sounds utterly unprofessional. It’s baffling how this got through management and sound engineering to be released to the public because I don’t think I’ve ever even heard any amateur high school band’s vocalist sound this bad. Vocal ingenuity is generally something to be applauded in the metal world, and pioneers like Randy Blythe, Dani Filth, and Travis Ryan deserve all the praise they get for their innovation with dirty metal vocals, yet what Chris Barnes has “invented” here on Nightmares of the Decomposed to compensate for his continually-deteriorating vocals is just sad. The man simply cannot perform highs anymore, clearly, and the alternative is this fucking comical, cartoonish squealing that sounds more like a bratty toddler gargling their own snot than it does anything fitting for a death metal record, even a death metal record at stupid and cheesy as Nightmares of the Decomposed. Chris Barnes should be thankful that metal is not a sport and that there’s not nearly as much of an abundance of performance statistics to point to and analyze to see what kind of records are broken in a legendarily awful performance. I feel like if there were any kind of performance stats to pull up, this album would have to break some kinds of records. Like this is worse than that 7-1 Germany-Brazil World Cup game, this would be like if the Brazilian team all got unholy levels of blazed and repeatedly scored on themselves because they kept going the wrong way and kicking the ball into their own net, and then pissing their fucking shorts. Even in 7-1 defeat, Brazil had more dignity than Chris Barnes here. Six Feet Under and their label have to know they are a laughing stock and that people will listen to them at this point for the sheer entertainment value of how mind-blowingly awful they sound. It’s not an illegitimate marketing tactic, and it’s the only explanation I can come up with for how this passed inspection. If that’s their mission, to be a spectacle and instill cringe in death metal fans in a regular ritual of comically stupid performances across every successive album, they’re sure doing it, and I guess this baffling headache-trophy is their well-earned prize. Congratulations Six Feet Under, you did it again! Worst metal album of the year.

[descendantofthesparrow]

Part of your world - Harry Hook x reader - Part 15 - talk

a rewrite of the harry hook x reader that @bluediamondsevie wrote for me

summary: a who doesn’t love the Disney World, well, (y/n) especially loves descendants, and one day, as she dances in her kitchen getting ready to head out. 17-year-old (y/n) becomes part of that world, now a certain blue-eyed pirate meets the girl from a world where he is a fictional character and he has an actor named Thomas Doherty.

 Key:

 h/c- hair color

 e/c- eye color

 h/l- hair length

 s/c- skin color

 y/n- your name

 your stuff

---

You were glad to get that off your shoulders, the relief of knowing you no longer had to ignore Harry was exhilarating. Now you sat at one of the tables, waiting for Harry to return, Uma stalked around the shop, taking and dropping off orders.

You sighed and dug through your bag, withdrawing your sketchpad and pencil, opening to a blank page.  You sat for a moment, not knowing what to draw before inspiration hit you, and you began to draw.

10 minutes later, a pretty goddamn good looking sketch of Harry was on your page, from his diamond cut jawline to his soft fluffy hair, it was Harry.

Specifically, it was Harry from a week ago, when you, Uma, Gil, and Harry were chilling on the deck of the revenge, and Harry had laughed at one of Gils jokes, and you had locked the memory of his face in your brain (as you have done many times) and now you had sketched it out. It was one of the few times you saw the true harry, not harry hook, son of captain. Without the eyeliner and hook, he was just a 17-year-old boy who was kind and loving to the people he cared about. But to others, he was a psychopathic, bloodthirsty, and uncaring.

But he wasn’t like that, not really.

He was the boy you loved, you would never leave his side, not if you could do anything about it.

--- Mal pov---

“okay! Okay, so what are we gonna do?” Jay asked, silencing Evie and Carlos, all three looked at me, and I rolled my eyes.

“we!” I spoke, stalking over to them and grabbing my bag “are not doing anything, this is between Uma and me, and shes a punk and guess what?! Now I have to go and get him!!”

Carlos quickly tried to stop me, holding his hands in front of him “woah woah woah, you’re still going to have to go through harry hook and his wharf rats”

“Yeah,” jay jumped in “besides, in the short time we've been here, I've heard Umas got a new crew member that took down Hook, you’re gonna need us”

I rolled my eyes, Hook wasn’t that hard to take down,…I hoped, he was one of the few Villains that scared me.

“Uma said to come alone”

“Mal come on.” Evie pleaded, I just made a face and shrugged, Carlos sighed and made his final statement

“Uma said to come alone. I know one thing, I’m not going anywhere” Carlos flopped onto the couch, looking up at the three of us. Jay sighed and said; “we’ll be here when you get back.”

I just nodded and started to walk out.

--

I arrived at the chip shop and slammed open the doors, seeing shrimpy tossing orders to her patrons, not caring if they were correct or not.

I smirked when she looked up and locked eyes with her, I sang out; “im back~” shrimpy scoffed, and gestures to an empty table

“loser party of one, right this way, please” as I walk forward Shrimpy shoves a chair at me, I fumbled to catch it and she laughed cruelly.

I sit and look around, it still stunk like old fish and shit.

“place still stinks”

Shrimpy made a face of innocence “oh im sorry, we were down a butler today…princess” I glared, hating the name.

“where is he?” shrimpy only laughed and tossed her apron onto the floor, grinning at me.

“you know I've dreamed of this? You wanting something from me, and me watching you squirm like a worm on a hook~”

“im so flattered that you dream of me, I haven’t given you thought since I left”

Shrimpy growled and slammed her hands on the table, but I wasn’t paying attention anymore, my sights had locked onto a girl.

A girl with (h/c) (short/long) hair, and (s/c) skin, she turned slightly to look at shrimpy, and I recognized her as the girl I saw on the rooftops earlier today.

‘Oh, so shes apart of shrimpy’s crew’ Mal thought, turning back to shrimpy, hiking her hand on the table, prepared to not lose ben to the sea bitch ‘that makes it easier’

---

Fuck! Shrimpy wanted the wand in exchange for Ben, shit.

“there's no way we can give Uma the wand, we can't just let her destroy Auradon!!” Evie forced out, panicking over the situation.

“if we don’t give her the wand bens toast” Carlos ground out, Evie just waved her hands around still panicking “great! So we're just gonna give Uma of all people the wand!” a thought came to my head, Carlos’ printer!!

“wait, you guys!! Your 3D printer!”

Carlos’ eyes brightened and he smiled “ a phony wand” “yeah!” “im my sleep!” Evie stopped us with logic “but the second Uma tests it, she’ll know it’s a fake”

“then we’ll just get Ben out really fast we’ll need some kind of diversion” the four of us Sat for a second before Jay jumped in “smoke bombs” I grinned and pointed at him, Evie jumps at the idea “that’s perfect! I’ll get the chemicals we need at lady Tremaine’s place, that could work!”

Evie walked over to me and complimented my hair, I gushed that Dizzy did it and Evie squealed, but the boys brought us back down to earth.

“Oh, one more thing!!” Evie, Carlos, and Jay stopped, looking at me in confusion.

“remember the girl the FG wanted us to find?” they all nodded, clearly remembering the picture of the (h/c), (e/c) girl.

“shes apart of Uma’s crew, when the smoke bombs go off, who ever’s closest to her, grabs her.”

They nodded.

“we’re sending her back home, no matter the cost”

--- back to you---

You were finishing another sketch of Harry, though this time Uma and Gil were apart of the sketch. It was a sketch from a week ago, just like your last sketch, but this was when you were sitting across from the trio and the sight of them being normal teenagers instead of vk striving to escape their hell hole had burned into your memory.

As you finished the details of Harry's hair, you felt a presence behind you. Glancing behind, it was one of Gils brothers…the one you first encountered on your arrival to the isle.

He smirked cruelly and tore the sketchbook away from you, you growled and tried to grab it but he held it above you, laughing.

“come on girly~ don’t you want your book back?!” you snarled, jumping trying to snatch it, when the oaf grabbed your waist and pressed you against his chest, making him smirk at the squish of your chest.

“let me go you fuckin cunt”

“oh such a dirty mouth, don’t worry, I know how to clean it~” you paled at his remark, as he glanced down at his crotch, and then at your mouth. Disgusting.

“tell ya what, if you do a little something for me, I’ll give you back your book, if you know what I mean”

You quickly tried to wriggle away, but his grip held tight, and he cackled but stopped when a hook was pressed against his neck.

You sighed in relief, Harry was here.

“I suggest ye put the lass down ye Gypit Hoor” Gaston jr gulped and released you, but he still had your sketchbook and Harry noticed, he gripped the wrist holding the book and twisted it, Gaston gasped and released the book, it fell to the floor. You rushed to grab it and shuffled behind Harry.

Harry growled in Gaston jr’s ear and whispered something. He paled and nodded, Harry huffed and released him, Gaston took the opportunity and bolted.

You sighed and flipped open the book, checking for damage. Luckily only a corner of the cover was scuffed.

Looking up you saw Harry gently gazing at you, you could see the question in his soft ocean blue eyes.

‘are you okay?’

You smiled and nodded. He smiled back and tilted his head, raising his eyebrow.

“Now lass, ye said ye wanted to talk?” you nodded, but reached out and tugged at his jacket nodding towards the door.

“yes, but in private, its important that this is only for your ears”

Harry's eyes widened and he nodded, following you out the door and to the ship, as you walked side by side, you didn’t notice Harry glance at your free hand, he bit his lip, wondering how you would react.

Fuck it.

Shyly reaching out, he brushed his fingers with yours, you jumped slightly, and with that he retracted, his face pink.

You glanced at his face, seeing his embarrassment, he-he wanted to hold your hand?

…fuck why is he so cute!...

Knowing he lost his nerve to do it again, you reached out and curled your pinkie around his.

Harry turned red, only thinking ‘holy shit holy shit holy shit, im holding (y/n)s hand holy shit’

Soon you arrived at the ship, but even when you entered your room, Harry didn’t release your hand. Continuing to lock his fingers with yours.

“sooo” Harry mumbled, curious on what you wanted to tell him “what did ye want to tell meh?”

You froze, oh right…tell him who you really were.

You sighed, releasing his hand and taking a deep breath.

You looked up at Harry, who was staring at you in confusion and concern.

“what I am about to tell you is not to leave this room, understood, this is a secret between you and me.” Harry nodded, and his eyes turned serious.

You internally smiled, glad to have his support back. Now, to tell him. Just let it out in one go.

“I’m not from the Isle” Harry made a face, what?

“im, not an Auradon runaway either” Harry swallowed harshly. What was going on? Did-did you lie to him the entire time he knew you?!

“im from a different dimension where you are a character from a movie called Descendants 2”

Harry only stared at you, you lied to him? Pain started to seep from his chest “wha’- wha’ about yer ma? The one ye told meh ye escaped from?”

“im sorry but I lied to you about that, I didn’t know how you react to suddenly meeting a girl from a different dimension?! Tell me to harry what would you have done if I immediately told you who I really was?”

Harry's pain decreased, dear god what would he have done? Meeting a girl who knew the ins and outs of this world?

“i-I would have takin’ ye hostage and forced the information out’ve ye”

You nodded hurt by knowing that Harry would have hurt you just to get information about his world, to rule over it.

“s-s, but how do I know ye are telling the truth, for I know ye are just pulling me leg?” you were prepared for this, fishing your phone from your pocket, you unlocked it and opened the page from earlier. “Thomas Doherty”

You handed the phone to harry and his eyes widened at the identical boy on the screen, he saw beneath the picture was a description.

“Harry Hook played by Thomas Doherty”

He quickly pressed the images tab, seeing multiple pictures of the actor who looked exactly like him, before stopping at a picture, one of Him Uma and Gil, all standing on the stage, Uma and Gil grinning at each other, he himself was glaring at Gil.

“wh-where are ye?” you sighed, shoulders slumping, “im not there because im not supposed to be, im technically supposed to standing in front of you right now actually”

Harry nodded slowly, glancing back down at your phone. He sighed walking forward and bumping his forehead on yours, making you slump in relief and you fell into his side.

“I understand lass, but” you drew back slightly looking up at his face, confusion, and pain set on it.

“why did ye ignore me?”

Releasing a shaky breath you slowly revealed what happened, though some reasoning was changed.

“I told Uma bout me being from another world, and” “wait Uma knows?” “yes, I told her yesterday.” “alright continue”

“anyway, and I realized something, you and I had become really close, and I thought that if I left this world, you would be hurt by it, and so to spare you the pain of that, I started to ignore you. But Uma kinda cornered me and told me something that changed my mind, and now…here we are.”

Harry nodded, before seeming to think something over.

“(y/n)?” you hummed, looking into his eyes “what do ye mean ‘if ye leave this world’ ?” you sighed and hugged yourself, “there's a chance that Im forced back into my world”

Harry growled, like hell that would happen, he just got you back!!

“but” Harry stopped, what? “I won't leave your side, not if there's anything I can do about it.”

Harry nodded and seemed to ponder over something for a minute. Before holding out a fist, his pinkie finger extended. And he spoke in a slightly broken voice

“ye promise?” you didn’t hesitate, threading your pikie with his, smiling at him, determination in your eyes

“I promise”

As you both stood there, you saw Harry's eyes flash towards your lips, your eyes widened slightly, what?

Harry began to lean in slightly, you ignored the condescending voice in your head, leaning in as well, but before anything really happened, the door slammed open, and there stood Uma, a proud grin on her face.

“come on you two, we gotta go over the specifics of the plan for tomorrow with the crew”

She turned and made her way back to the deck. You and Harry stood there for a moment, faces red, before Harry broke away from you, walking to the door, you stared sadly at his back, thinking you had gone back after the awkward moment just then, before he stopped and looked back at you, extending his hand, and smiling softly.

“Shall I escort ye me lady~” you giggled and grasped his hand letting him lead.

“you shall~”

Dear god, you hope you never had to leave this handsome pirates side~

 ---end of part 15---

Comment or message me for part 16

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[tessatechaitea]

The Ray #1

In 1994, I had no idea who Christopher Priest and Howard Porter were so I have no idea why I purchased this comic book.

Although (continuing the thought from the caption which is just me saying, "Fuck the format! I can do what I want!") I was in my early 20s in 1994 so I was probably into that edgy fascination with freaks and body deformity. I hadn't seen Tod Browning's Freaks yet but I'm sure I would have jumped at the chance if I'd known about it. It's the only reason I can figure why I bought a comic book about a character I knew nothing about. Because it looks like he's a hero with a deformed baby leg. I probably picked it up off the shelf and yelled, "Fuckin' A, dude! Look at this ganky bastich!" It was 1994 so obviously I was emulating Lobo in my every day life. Some of you might be thinking, "Ugh! You're so gross and problematic!" But I'm just being honest! I was a young man, masking like crazy in order to hide my vulnerabilities so I wouldn't be crushed by social interactions and existential threats to my psyche. I had to act tough to survive the crazy streets of Santa Clara, California! Back then, Silicon Valley wasn't like it is now! In 1994, hulking techno-nerds were roaming the streets with razor sharp circuit boards looking to cut the genitals off of anybody who criticized the Neo-Geo CD home gaming console. If you looked at them funny, they'd challenge you to a game of Cyberball and you'd better hope you won because they were also obsessed with Mortal Combat and if you lost, the last thing you'd hear would be a bunch of techno-nerds screaming "Finish him!" before you found yourself upside down gagging on the filthy water of an unflushed public toilet. The early nineties were some rough years! Especially when you were into heavy metal! People think grunge and rap killed metal but think about what people thought was "rock and roll" during the early 90s: Warrant's "Cherry Pie" and Extreme's "More Than Words." I mean, Feetal's Gizz! Metal was dead long before grunge and rap came by to fill its grave. Anyway, you could totally be into freaks in the early 90s because the Internet didn't exist so your opinions weren't reaching anybody outside your small circle of friends. All the other people of the world who didn't know you at all didn't have a way to tell you you were a piece of shit because of one single thing that comprised the myriad facts of who you were. Fuck you, Internet! No, no! I'm sorry! Don't be mad at me, Internet! I can't live without you! Also, maybe I just bought this comic book because the cover was shiny and embossed and growing up in Santa Clara was so boring that it made this comic book looked exciting. The issue begins with The Ray battling Brimstone. Remember him from Legends?

Brimstone is as big as Godzilla and he's already killed hundreds of people, judging by the apartment buildings he's smashed.

I don't know who The Ray is or where he's from. What part of the United States of America uses slang like "gaffle," "put my serve on," "zoom this buster," "bone out," "feebs," and "rot." Is this just Christopher Priest trying to mimic youth speak? I would expect this kind of thing from an aging comic book writer like current Neal Adams but Priest was in his early thirties when he wrote this. Maybe The Ray is from another Earth and Priest's theory was that slang words would obviously differ between Earths. But not so much that you couldn't get the gist of what he's saying. Except for "gaffle." I don't know what the fuck he wants to do to Brimstone when he says he's going to gaffle him. I know what I would mean by it but that doesn't seem appropriate in this situation.

Oh wait. The Ray was just writing fan-fiction about himself.

So the Brimstone fight didn't really happen. Or it did happen but The Ray is using it as fodder to write comic books about himself. So he's like Clark Kent writing articles about Superman? At least writing comic book stories about your own adventures isn't unethical. Fucking Clark Kent. What kind of a journalist uses his soap box to simply promote himself? No wait. Journalists fucking suck. I despise journalists for the same reason I despise police officers. If you're just letting your profession go to shit because a bunch of people are abusing their positions of power and not actually doing the public service they're supposed to be doing, you're just as bad as the worst apple in the barrel. There's a reason that whole apple/barrel thing is still a saying even though nobody really associates apples with barrels anymore. Maybe The Ray isn't writing comic books although it seems like the super edgy postmodern take a writer in the 90s would think was fucking mind blowing. We got Kyle Rayner, comic book artist, as the new Green Lantern. Why shouldn't we also get a comic book writer in there as well? Or The Ray might just be writing stories for his college paper which would mean he's just as unethical and terrible as Clark Kent, I suppose. But in an amateurish way. The Ray (whose name is Ray Terrill so it was lucky he got light-based powers) stops trying to write and decides to tell the readers about the last few days. He's a young guy who works at a fast food chicken joint and has just leased his first apartment. It's a piece of shit with some garbage and/or artistic sculpture in the middle of the room but he doesn't have any credit or money so he's stuck with it. I bet there are corpses under the floor boards as well as other things too boring to mention (but which I'll mention anyway) like rats and cockroaches and dried semen stains.

This is Ray's narration of the place which I read after I wrote the previous paragraph. Was I writing comics and named Christopher Priest in 1994?

The Ray spends all day handing out flyers to Clucky Chicken while standing right outside Clucky Chicken. Is that what flyers are for? To remind people about the thing they can totally see right in front of them? I guess they could be coupons. While he's handing out flyers, his super cool cousin Hank stops by to gaffle some swang all up in through him.

This must be Earth-15 where they say things like "Yo trip dat frum, golderboots!" and "Swank on into my PQs, Flub Daddy!"

The Ray is disappointed that he's a man now because responsibility sucks. Kids can't stand curfews and rules but man is it sweet to be able to come and go as you please (within curfew, of course!) while doing whatever the fuck you want and not worrying about money for food or rent. The Ray can't even fuck his girlfriend because she saw him in the chicken suit and is all, "Oh, um, I just came by to say I can't come by! Bye!" The Ray can travel at the speed of light anywhere he wants while carrying other people. That makes sense because comic books. He takes his cousin Hank Fonzerelli to see a volcano shaped like a hand in Hawaii only to discover that it's another Brimstone. It's activated by a henchman of Darkseid while The Ray and Hank are checking out a surf competition or a luau. It's at this point when The Ray gets back to the beginning of the story where he was failing to stop Brimstone from destroying a city. As he picks the story back up, Superboy arrives to save the day. Not the boring Superboy who used to be Superman and learned a terrible secret about himself on his sixteenth birthday about an extra candle. The new Superboy who arrived on the scene after Superman died. He might also be boring but I wouldn't know having never read any comic books about him. The new Superboy is an arrogant dick and The Ray hates him. That's probably why The Ray winds up killing him. Or he thinks he killed him. Everybody reading the comic book probably thought The Ray killed him too (because we were all dumb-dumbs who actually believed DC Comics had killed Superman off for good. Why wouldn't they?! He was a big boring boy scout whose powers kept fluctuating because editors and writers thought the problem with writing Superman stories was that he was too powerful. But the real problem with writing Superman stories was that those same writers and editors were unimaginative assholes who didn't actually understand Superman. Why else would Superman have died from a fist fight?! Seriously, Dan Jurgens. What were you thinking?! Superman should never have been killed because he encountered something more powerful that could just beat the shit out of him. Superman should have been killed because of a philosophical or ethical dilemma where he realized the only way to save the world was to allow himself to die. He should have been Jesus but instead he was just Apollo Creed. Who I think was a metaphor for John the Baptist? The issue ends with the narrator letting the readers know that Superboy isn't actually dead and why would the idiots think he'd be killed in The Ray when he was currently starring in his own popular monthly comic book? Stupid dumb comic book readers! But the narrator also mentions that The Ray is out of power (I didn't know he had to recharge) and Brimstone is kind of mad. Then he's all, "If we were you," (I don't think a proper editor in 1994 would have allowed a writer to use the plural pronoun "we" as a non-specific gender singular pronoun so now I'm picturing the narrator as a small group of old people), "We'd be back here in 30 days!" And I guess 22 year old me agreed with them because I purchased Issue #2. The Ray #1 Rating: C. C is average, right? I didn't find anything I particularly loved about this issue but I also didn't find anything I absolutely hated. Except for Superboy but I think I was supposed to hate him so that's a positive critique. I probably purchased the next issue because I wanted to find out what happens to Hank Fonzerelli. What a cool dude! The letters pages don't have any letters but it does have a story by Brian Augustyn about how Christopher Priest changed his name from Jim Owsley. It also explains that Priest's idea for The Ray was to have a teenager suddenly have to deal with god-like powers while still being a teenager. I think before this that was called "Spider-man". Except for the god-like powers! Those were more spider-like powers.

[pythonmelon]

The Great Girl Genius Reread: volume One

A little collection of the thoughts as follows! this one was pretty short and sweet, but it was such a nostalgia wave. 

-I dunno, the art is still not perfect- it's so clearly Phil and Kaja from the start- but I found it so charming in this era. It's god so much detail and very... interesting. This is also me getting to actual experience all the stuff I know about now, especially the great detail of the color coming back into the world after her locket gets stolen -Finally I get to revisit Moloch and the first introduction of the jagers and all the little details. Like, I'll never get over the clank with the jager symbol on it's knee which is kinda what made me want Virgil to be a staff mechanic in jager skin -And seeing Phil telling these poor kids who have been standing there for 15 years the same story -And going  as she talks about her mom n such, and seeing how far she's come compared to later books -She's so much less straight laced and healthier bodied and it's so weird to see it now, which makes it neat -I love her little clanks and how its her Thing- every spark has their Thing, after all, and how she was working on them from the beginning -and that jagers are established on the second page -Ah yes, Doctor Merlot, the original bitch, and doctor Glassvitch, the original good guy

-I miss Beetleburg and Baron Wulfenbach and Von Pinn and how it all kinda started so charming. I remember the first four or five volumes so fondly, though I only remember bits and pieces of all of it in general -Also I'm still so fond of the slaver engine plots -All the little deets about how sparks worked and their legends and the very subtle introduction of color here, it's such neat worldbuilding, immediately immersive but not hard to grasp -The immediate concern Beetle shows... if only he saw what came of it -Ah yes, Gil in public, aka "snotty rich boy facade". I love the absolute clarification that if Gil wasn't a good enough heir he would chop him up and start again, it's not like he doesn't make good on that by using Gil's body later

-Aaah, Gil in his spark rage...

-I miss some good ole spark vs non spark social stuff too. Agatha really is surrounded by sparks and warriors and constructs rather than, outside of Violetta, relatively normal people -I love how succinctly they get Merlot down, and the people around sparks with how they're effected, god if this isn't immediately the best example of how sparks work -Also I miss Boris... -God shrinking violet Gil -Castle Heterodyne was SET UP SO EARLY, WHAT? I'll never say Phil and Kaja don't plant their ideas early and plant them well, especially at this point -All jagers need specific orders so they don't just go be mischief monsters huh -I MISSED YOU PUNCH, I love Agatha's giant parents. Also Adam/Punch really did have a big effect on Virgil. Being mute is a thing, it is a thing that can be fix, just a big nice man -I wish we could've seen more about her childhood with uncle Barry, just because she was with him until she was like 7-9 -Her starting to break through at five, the power of the locket that it fuckin made Omar's organs shut down -Her first big boy... -"Hoctopus" is the best use of the jager accent -I do enjoy how competitive Gil and his dad are. They really are father n son, huh -I like that it's not "The spark must be a man" but "we've already seen her" that gets the Baron to take Moloch -"They're fuckin, clearly"- Baron Wulfenbach -Heterodynes sure do smell good, huh -Zudok is my favorite original jager, he's a fun boy