#italian struggles: its 3 am

[myrquez]

same pecco

[mawce-ness-lonchster]

FREE DOGS TO GOOD HOMES IN THE EASTERN KENTUCKY/WEST VIRGINIA AREA

So i did Not intend to bring this to tumblr for privacy reasons but its getting to be too much.

I have 5 dogs that are in need of good homes that can give them the love they need. I am barely able to support their basic food needs, much less much needed veterinarian visits and proper enrichment and i am struggling to find shelters and rescues nearby to take them. Please reblog to spread to possible homes.

The first 3 pictured are sisters 14 month old italian greyhound mixes (in order: astrid, gobber, hiccup) and the last two are alaskan Shepherd brothers, 2 years old in august (white nose is max, black nose is ace). All have been socialized with children of all ages and have been around other dogs. Gobber is good with people but not as good with dogs. All are very loving towards people when they get to know them. They are still in need of vet visits and fixing surgeries, but are otherwise excellent dogs. Please dm for further info (serious inquiries only)

NOTE: only one dog (of these) per home, they need attention without having to fight their siblings.

[gingernut1314]

Oh my god. Four words. Jealous Polnareff one-shot.

Imagining you and Pol (before part 3) are out shopping or maybe at a celebration. Then Polnareff needs to go try on clothes (if shopping) or grab drinks (if at a celebration); and for whatever reason, you refuse to come with him because you insist on needing to watch over your guy’s cart or bags. After some whining Pol will eventually go and retrieve what he needs to, promising to be back soon. While he’s out, you may or may not run into someone and start talking. This person could be a friend or a family member, but Polnareff being Polnareff started jumping to conclusions. Later, he pulls you away being dramatic and pouting.

This could either turn fluffy as you comfort him or maybe even nsfw if Pol wants to show you that you’re his and he’s yours.

Jealous

Polnareff x GN!Reader

Summary: After Polnareff returns from getting you both more refreshments, he finds you kissing the cheeks of another man.

Warnings: jealous polnareff, takes place before JJBA part 3, french and Italian pet names, Italian reader

Word Count: 1.5K

Song: Jealous Spotify | Youtube

A/N: I got three words for you: Eating this up. Jealous Polnareff?? YES PLEASE!!!! Jealous Polnareff at a celebration and getting Jealous over a family member?? CACKLING ITS SO GOOD!!!!!! Also.......i am so sorry this took so long, it's been a struggle out here 💀 I hope you enjoy!!! I didn't add any spice cause I'm not really motivated to write for that right now buuuut when I do in the future I will keep this request in mind and give you a little part 2!!!!!

Taglist: @cinnbar-bun @lostfirefly

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The streets of Naples, Italy were packed with people waiting to watch the fireworks bloom across the sky as soon as the sun fell away. It was a festival you had grown up as a kid loving and one you had wished to come back home for to show your partner, Polnareff. 

He had been more than excited to come, wishing to know more of you and your home. Though, he had not been all that excited when you had posed the idea of him going to grab you two some more drinks and snacks before the sun disappeared. 

“And leave you here on your own? No. We can go together.” He had insisted, taking your hand in his with a gentle squeeze. 

“But we will lose our spot and I’m telling you this is the only spot you want.” You said, gesturing towards the spot you had elbowed and argued with to get. A spot that overlooked the blue waters of the Tyrrhenian Sea and was high enough that one could all but touch the fireworks as they shot off from the boats below. “You’ll be gone for only two minutes. I’ll be okay.” 

Polnareff had hesitated for a moment longer. A hesitation you eased with a gentle grab of the back of his neck to pull him down so that you could place a sweet kiss to his lips. So that you could murmur loving words against them that had him folding to your whims with a grumbling fine before heading off. 

You watched him go with a pleased smile before a man knocking into your shoulder, turning your attention back to your very important job of keeping your spot. 

Polnareff grumbled when he was met with long line after long line, the sun setting lower and lower the longer he stood. At this rate, it would be dark before he made it back to you…but you had wanted this so he was going to make sure you had all the snacks and drinks you could need. His main goal was to make you happy, and he would be damned if he wouldn’t make you the happiest person alive. 

Seeing you happy made him hap--

Polnareff froze when he finally spotted you after what felt like hours of being away. Spotted you placing a soft kiss to the cheek of another man. 

It wasn’t an uncommon practice. As a Frenchman, Polnareff was sure to greet those he knew and loved with la bise. A simple kiss to either cheek starting from the left and going to the right. And he knew you were accustomed to doing them as well, seeing as you were born and raised in Italy where such kisses were very common. 

But something about how you looked up at this man. How you held his upper arm oh so gently. 

No…no he was just being jealous. Looking too much into the situation and--

You moved to place yet another kiss to this man's cheeks.

Polnareff knew thanks to you that the number of kisses meant something. That one was reserved for quick hellos and goodbyes. For friends and acquaintances you might not be the closest to. For strangers and yet here you were--placing a second kiss.

So you knew him well. A friend you might have known from childhood or--

A third kiss. 

You were gifting this man a third kiss. 

Very close.

You were very close to this man. 

Maybe--maybe a past lover? 

It had to be. Who else would you grace your glorious affections to? 

Yet, just as Polnareff went to storm over there and demand answers, a large group of travelers walked before him. Travelers he pegged as Americans by the bit of conversation he overheard in their passing. He huffed and hurried to push through them despite their barks of protest but, upon making it to the other side, found the man gone. 

You looked his way and smiled happily as if you hadn’t just been with another man. As if you hadn’t just met up with a past lover. 

Polnareff almost let his rising jealousy and slight hurt fall away upon gazing upon your smile again, but they were too big to drop. 

“Amore, come quickly!” You waved quickly over. “The fireworks will be set off in a few--” Polnareff was crossing the way and standing in front of you before you could even finish your sentence.

“Who was he?” You blinked up at him, slight confusion furrowing your brow. 

“Who--what?” You said. “Why do you look so upset?” You continued, raising a hand to feel over the warm skin of his cheek but Polnareff, despite himself, moved from your touch. Your own hurt shot through your chest like a dagger. “Amore--” You started, that hurt pouring into your voice.

“Who was that man you were just with? You--You kissed him. Three times. Three times means you know him well. Very well. You--you must love him, yes? Who is he?” Polnareff rambled out, making your hurt soften and concussion turn to amusement. Amsuemnet you couldn’t help but show with a small chuckle. “You find this funny?” Polanreff huffed.  

“Yes.” You snatched one of the drinks from his hand and took a sip that you dragged on just to see Polnareff stress about who you had just been with for a short while longer. 

“Amour--” Polnareff all but whined at your all but disinterest in the seriousness of the situation. 

“You think I would show that much love for just any man?” You turned your gaze away from Polnareff to look over the darkening sea. Polnareff huffed, moving so that he could keep his gaze trained on your face. The man beside him hissed his annoyance but Polnareff hardly cared.

“No--no of course not. That is why he must be very dear to you. A--a past lover? A first love.” Oh god--the thoughts just kept tearing at his heart. A first love--how could he compete with that? With a love that had been so new and innocent and un--you were laughing again. 

“Darling--sweetheart, that was my brother.” Polnareff blinked as he slowly registered the words coming out of your mouth. Brother. That had been--that was your brother. You pointed over the railing at another person in the crowd below. 

“And that is his partner, just there see?” Your brother's partner looked around as if searching for someone. Their search had their eyes turning upward, finding you there. A happy smile pulled to their lips as they waved furiously to you and you were very quick to return the greeting. “He saw me and wanted to get a heads start in welcoming me back home before we went to go meet them all. No secret lovers or past lovers….though that would have been something huh?” You joked, turning back to him fully, that bright smile back on your face. 

“I-I-amour, I am sorry. I just--” You shrugged, reaching back up to place your hand on his cheek. He let you gratefully, leaning into the touch that was always so gentle and comforting. 

“It is alright, amore. I am glad to know you love me so much you would fall apart at such a scene. It makes me feel very special.” Polnareff nodded, leaning down closer so that he could breathe in the scented mist you had put on before leaving the hotel. A scent that he just could never get enough. 

You can’t help the content sigh that puffed from your nose as you leaned forward and pressed a delicately soft kiss to his lips. This kiss was one you had not thought of sharing with any other since the moment Polnareff had swept you off your feet. 

The sudden pop and whistling wizz that sounded through the dark air had you whipping around to watch the first fireworks bloom in the sky. It cast a pink glow over the dark sea and gathered crowds--crowds who Oooed and Aaahed at the beauty before them. 

Just as the second round of fireworks were shot off, Polnareff grabbed hold of your chin and guided your attention back onto him. His lips were set in an easy smile and his eyes, which were now illuminated by the green of the firework overhead, bore such unyielding love and affection in them that it stole the very air from your lungs. Such a look that had you forgetting about the fireworks because they could never beat the beauty of the man before you. 

“You are very special to me.” Your lips parted on a shaking intake of breath, your heart fluttering at his words. It was a slight movement Polnareff’s loving eyes shifted quickly to watch. “And you are mine and for that, I am truly blessed. Forgive me but…I will do anything to protect such a blessing.” 

The boom of yet another firework sounded as you threw yourself forward, nearly knocking the man you loved backward in your rush to fit his lips against yours once more.

[mysticficti0n]

All my attention Part 7

warnings- swearing, slow burn, flirting, dirty talk, praise, romance,

words- 4.7k

If you'd like to read the previous parts → All my attention series

a/n- so if you're new here I am British and cannot speak any German, I speak a little French, Spanish and Italian but German- no. I also do not trust Google translate so this is gonna be like an avatar thing (if you've seen the newest one Jake says that their language just became normal or something along those lines) so in reality this is all in German, you as a reader know German but, its wrote in English... make sense? no... well. Also you guys are fucking amazing thank you for all the likes on not only All my attention but the hc and request story like it means so much ♡

(hey guys I'm finally back! I'm so so sorry this has taken so fucking long but I've been beyond busy these past few days and I've had no time to even go on my computer but anyways enjoy this- part 8 is about to be crazy thats all ima say, love you all)

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backstory- you are the 5th member of Tokio Hotel and you always thought the love was equally platonic between you and a certain guitarist... but what if that all changed?

I sat in the back of Gustav's dads car with a knocked out Georg and Tom who's eyes didn't leave me for the whole trip, everyone was in small slurring conversation chuckling and yawning struggling to keep themselves awake as it was 3:47am

I turned my body, Georg falling off my shoulder to lean on my back which I had to try not laugh at while facing Tom who had a small grin on his face "what?" I asked in a whisper

"nothing nothing" my eyebrows furrowed eyes scanning him, his fingers toyed with the ring on his other hand

"you sure?" he nodded before turning away to look out the window, leg bouncing "okay" I turned myself back, Georg again falling back onto my shoulder mumbling something "sorry" I whispered patting his arm which rested next to mine, I watched Tom still bounce his leg so with my free hand I placed it on his knee, he didn't look back but a breath fell from his body.

I felt us pull onto the drive and stretched my legs out as much as I could seeing the boy to my left fully wake up and get out the car giving his hand to drag me out to like he hadn't been snoring in my ear the entire ride, Tom grabbed my bag as I saw him swig it over his shoulder making Bill, Simone, Gustav and Bella laugh a lot more than it should leaving David to try shut them all up and get them into the house, I shoved Georg to the group watching him trip on thin air cursing until he hit the bonnet of the car bumping into Gustav

"Tom sweetie go take Y/n back so her mother wont pester me about it later" I laughed seeing the women wave her son to follow me home

"alright" he spoke going back out the house and pulled me with him "come on" his voice wasn't jokey like usual- he sounded pissed off but I decided it was best to shrug it off, he helped me cross the wall and up the steps to the front door

"thanks for today it was actually really fun" I gave a smile having my bag off him "did you hear what I said?" I asked seeing him only nod again "whats wrong? why are you acting like this?" I spoke in a angered whisper "you were fine with me- well more then fine with me until we got into the car then you acted like you didn't want to know me"

"its nothing I-i'm just tired Y/n I promise" his voice was softer but I couldn't believe him

"why was your leg shaking and why did you play with your ring then because you can't have been fine then hm?" he breathed out looking worried

"you saw the ring thing?"

"of course I did because I was worried about you" his eyes flicked to mine, I didn't drop his gaze feeling him get closer "you didn't speak much and then- then" I was hushed by his lips pressing against mine, his strong arms holding my back in a hug, I let my self melt back into him, my hands going across his hips kissing him back tenderly.

"there isn't another girl like you in the world Y/n" Tom pulled back placing his head on mine "not as caring, loving, sweet, cute, beautiful"

"are you proposing again?" I spoke with a tired laugh, he pressed a peck to the corner of my lips

"not yet sweetheart, goodnight" he let go cupping my jaw before walking to his house leaving me stunned 'not yet'?

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"Y/n- sunshine wake up!" I opened my eyes expecting to see my mom stood over me

"morning mo-BILL WHAT THE HELL!" I screamed seeing the boy pull away laughing, I curled my blanket around my shoulders falling back into my nest of pillows seeing the boy give me a look making me move over so he could sit with me. He jumped onto the bed beside me crossing his legs and leaning back onto the wall "what do you want at- 11:24 in the morning then, you're literally never awake at this time" I asked looking back at him from my alarm clock

"I think it's me who should be asking the questions Y/n-" a smile I'd never seen before spread across his face "so... last night" I tried to think back, I remember the meal, going to the night club, dancing, drinking a lot and- fuck

"err, yeah last night what about it?" I spoke trying to hide the nervous laugh from escaping my mouth

"oh come on you're not that stupid- I saw it y/n/n" I wanted the world to swallow me up whole- what did he see? god which part did he see?! "so wanna explain your little kiss with my brother on the door step last night?" I slid further into my bed pulling the sheets over my head whispering a 'no thanks' but Bill didn't take that as an answer ripping the sheets from above me "Hey! I wanna know your little secret with him!"

"its nothing- just like our usual flirting we do and have done since we were like 13!" Bill raised an eyebrow "okay fine maybe there's some little feelings-"

"I KNEW IT!" the boy danced grabbing my hands dragging me from the warmth of my blanket "YOU TWO LOVE EACH OTHER!" I rolled my eyes pulling my hands from the singer

"woah we don't 'love' each other- its just mutual appreciation!" I went to my door pulling a hoodie off the peg and slipping it on to try distract from the fact Bill knew of mine and Tom's little- thing

"well last night I can tell you he didn't describe it as 'mutual appreciation'" I felt my stomach drop- what the fuck had that man said! I looked to his twin who was holding his chest laughing it all up pointing to my face

"oh god what was he saying? was it only to you or did the others hear- oh my god I want to die!" I hid my face again, the red feeling like it was going to make my head pop, Bill pulled my desk chair out setting his legs onto the table in front

"no don't worry only to me- we were having a smoke while everyone was up stairs and he said- from what I remember 'Y/n's awesome right?' I agreed of course and then he went 'she notices everything and genuinely cares you know' and I was nodding along not really caring what he said because I knew he'd drank and shit but then- oh but then he said 'I just fucking love her, like actually love her' and when I say I dropped my fucking jaw-" I felt like I was going to pass out, did he say this all? he was drunk surely he didn't mean it? but what if he did? all the questions spun around my head mixing with the tiredness and hang-over form last night

"I don't know what to say-" my eyes met with Bill who still had that shit eating grin along his lips "fucks sake what now?" I asked seeing him dismiss me "no what is it?"

"he's down stairs" if I didn't feel like jumping from my window and running into the city never to return I did now, I didn't realise how embarrassed I'd be- but nobody was meant to know. Bill stood giving me a 'reassuring' pat on my shoulder and walked out my room down the stairs leaving me to now face Tom on my own.

ten minuets after I managed to pull myself down the stairs seeing my little sister sat with Tom holding her mini guitar she had from Gordon for her birthday (okay Stella playing guitar with Tom was requested and its the cutes mf thing) her small fingers eagerly playing all the strings while he tried to show her how to actually do it while containing his laughs "no-no Stella look watch me, like that boop boop boop" he sang in tune with the strings as he pulled them

"boop boop boop! Boop boo- Baba!" I smiled to the young girl who was no longer interested in the guitar running to me with a gummy grin "Baba you wake!"

"Hi Stell! I'm awake yeah!" I picked her up onto the side of my hip squeezing her tightly, she pointed to Tom who pointed back at her "who's that?" I asked seeing her little eyes work

"Tom!" I spun her around as she clapped to herself for remembering "and momma a-and daddy and Seesee" she did little grabby hands to Simone otherwise known as Seesee by Stella, I placed her to the floor so she could go sit with her, Bill and my parents. Tom had placed the neon pink guitar back and sat leaning into the cushions of the sofa

"she's gonna be a guitarist when she's older and I better get credit" he spoke eyes shut as I sat next to him flicking on the Tv

"no she'll be a singer like me" he laughed shoving me slightly but quickly grabbing my arm so I didn't fall off the end of the sofa...unlike the bed situation "have a voice better than Madonna and P!nk"

"probably I mean she's your sister after all" I looked over to him and caught his eyes already on me "what were you and Bill doing for so long up stairs anyways? he said he was gonna go wake you up then didn't come back down for like half an hour" fuck- the whole conversation came flooding back to my head, I couldn't keep this from him, he deserves to know as much as me... God why is life so annoying like that?

"smoke?" I asked getting up closely followed by him, we went to the front of the house as Stella was now playing mommies and daddies on the deck with Simone, we sat on the steps and he pulled his cigs from his sweatpant pocket "thanks- okay well... you need to not be angry alright" his head shot to mine with a weird look "say swear"

"swear" his voice was unsure sounding but he'd said it now

"right- so do you remember last night? besides the meal and club?" he took a long drag from the end of the cigarette

"yeah if you mean the me and you parts- clearly remember them" a smile replaced his straight face as he thought back to the night

"Bill knows" I spat out seeing his face immediately drop again, head snapping to me "he saw us- on here- last night" I breathed head dropping not being able to confront Tom's looks "and you also told him that you erm- that you love me... I mean you were drunk so it was probably just that mixed with us kissing and stuff" he was still silent, I could only hear his slight puffs as he had his cig

"Only Bill knows right?" I nodded bringing my head back up "Y/n don't worry he wont say anything- I promise you and well what I said I... I didn't not mean it" I finally let my gaze fall back to him. His hand moved from his knee to my thigh calming me instantly "I wish you didn't hear it from him but- I do love you" I was completely taken aback when Tom said it. I didn't expect to hear those three little words from him ever in the way he said them. I felt my heart racing and my palms started to sweat as I tried to process what he had just said again, I thought Bill was just overdramatising things but- no. it was both thrilling and terrifying. I looked into his eyes, and saw the sincerity there. I knew that he truly meant what he said

After a few moments of silence, I finally found my voice and confidence to even speak "I... I love you too" The smile that spread across Tom's face was one of pure joy, my heart soared. I felt adrenaline run through my body mixing with the blood flowing through my body as his hand moved to my face pulling me in gently, pressing his lips to mine for the first time since we really said 'love you' It was a different kiss to the others we'd shared, softer, loving, tender- I knew it wasn't going to lead to anything it was just a kiss to really set in stone our feelings- feelings we knew were more than we ever imagined having

"I've been waiting to say that to you for months- like properly say it to you not just in a friendly way" my head leaned onto his shoulder taking in his warmth as the afternoon breeze blew over my exposed legs, I stepped out my cigaret waiting for Tom to finish his looking up past his jawline that was so effortlessly sharp, skin so soft not a spot or blemish, his lips so perfectly fitted to his face, those eyes that when the sun hit them they went a golden brown "enjoying the view?" his voice rung looking down at me

"your pretty" I say back seeing a hot blush wipe over his cheeks "aww" I pecked his cheek standing up to go back into the house but a grasp on my leg stopped me, looking down I saw the wheels in his head turning

"wanna go on a date tonight?"

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I looked in the mirror one last time, checking the outfit- pulling my skirt down my thighs more and fixing my necklace- then my hair, I tried something different, a spiky bun which took so much time but finally I was done, I grabbed my phone and keys, money and sprayed myself with perfume. I looked to my clock "7:00 okay I have five minuets" I spoke to myself going down the stairs seeing my mom sat with my dad watching a movie "how do I look?" I spoke walking to them and they both smiled

"Beautiful sunshine! absolutely beautiful" she clapped her hand "did you take any photo's of yourself?" she asked getting ready to grab her camera

"of course she has Angelica its Y/n- you look lovely sweet" my dad laugh letting my mom getting comfy again into his chest "remind me what your doing again"

"Oh meeting with some old friends from school for a dinner thing-" I lied, I knew if I said 'oh going on a date with Tom' they'd be asking question after question

"so why is Tom driving you?"

"he's seeing some his mates not far so said he can drop me off " dad hummed and I herd a knock at the door "love you!" I called hearing a faint 'ditto' from the two as I walked out the house "hey!"

"wow-" Tom sounded, I smiled looking to him, red shirt with skulls, matching cap and blue bandana jeans "I feel underdressed by you now"

"come on- you look hot" a laugh escaped his lips as we went to his car, he opened the door for me giving his hand so I could get in "thank you" I grinned

"no problem babe" he climbed in to his side starting the engine making the car shudder awake, we started the drive, his hands between having to move the gear stick held my thigh, pressing the pads of his fingers when he was getting pissed of the the other drivers "your hair looks nice by the way" my heart melted, my eyes falling over to him

"I tried something different- I'm glad you like it" he nodded rubbing my leg before taking his hand away "where are we going by the way?"

"somewhere special- were like 2 seconds away- oh here" we pulled into a small car park which looked quiet empty which was refreshing, especially since the last time we went out- the car was full of flashes of light pulling us from the road, voices screaming and shouting our names as we tried to get the doors open but paparazzi knew we were coming and they wouldn't hold back on two teens. our names were bouncing around the mouths of people and people who wanted clear photos shoving forward making people knock into us. to even get to Tom I had to jump the hood of Tom's car to him, grabbing his arm as he pushed through the sea of lights shouting for them to move while we tripped over peoples feet, microphone cords and what not.

but this time it was silent besides the purrs of the cars that passed, I went to open my door but the dreadhead reached over slamming my door "stop being stupid" I breathed a laugh waiting for him to jog and open my door "m'lady"

"oh why thank you sir" he pressed a kiss to my cheek, not letting go of my hand, we walked into the restaurant named the 'star night lounge' and i nearly screamed "This-this is the one I was talking about like 6 months ago!" the boy nodded chuckling at my face

"I remember these things- come on we need to go in" hurriedly we walked in, the smell was the smell of romance, dark and rose, dimly lit tables placed around, candles hanging from rods on the wall "its better than the pictures" I nodded taking everything in

"welcome to star night lounge- how many?" a women asked with a smile looking to Tom to which he answered 2 "okay, if you'd like to follow me" she grabbed menus and turned away from us walking down a small entry way and turning to the left, we followed her and walked into the one room I remember falling In love with when I first saw it on the website "is this okay- I will say its a bit darker in here than other parts"

"this is amazing" I exhaled looking around

"no this is great, thank you" Tom spoke as the women left us, it was all perfect, the room, the night, Tom. we sat down quickly across from each other, small glances and smiles passed along the way, we weren't the only people in the room so the noise of small chatter and jazz music played in the background

"Tom this is amazing! I-i don't know that to say" my voice slipped "its just" his hand came over the table taking mine "I'm being a baby i'm sorry"

"its okay don't be sorry" his lips pressed against my knuckles "look you deserve a good date Y/n- I don't remember you once going out with Brian, I want to be better than he was"

"you already are" I smiled seeing him press another kiss to my hand "so much better- god there's a list"

"want me to be shocked?" he laughed "...you look so pretty in here babe" I felt like I could pass out there and then and never ever get back up, his thumb drawing over my fingers, eyes watching me and smiles plastered over our faces.

Together we flicked through the menu asking what each other might have, arguing over the same dish until we came to a settlement "Good evening- what can we get you for dinner to night?" a different women walked over with a calm smile pulling her pad and pen out, Tom nodded his head at me to go first

"I'll have the star burger please... with fries" she nodded writing it down and turned to Tom

"I'll have the kabab please- the er.. fuck which one?" his face went red looking over to me a slight panic in his eyes

"chilli kabab please- oh and two playboy bunny cocktails please and thank you" I ended letting the server take our menus and leave to the kitchen

"Y/n I didn't want that stupid cocktail!" he huffed falling back into thseat "it's a girly one" I rolled my eyes seeing him be a actual child, with my foot I rubbed his legs

"its one drink Thomas- grow up" his tongue pressed into his cheek, smirk creeping across his lips "you herd me"

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"Please Tom let me pay for my half at least" I pleaded seeing him shake his head "Tom!"

"Y/n I have it god sake put your money back" he said bluntly, snatching my change from my hand and throwing It back at me. I sat back glaring at him "don't look at me like that"

"like what?" I spoke seeing him roll his eyes but become distracted as the bill came over, he picked it up and his eyes widened the tiniest "lemme see" my hand went to reach over and grab the paper

"no" Tom turned to the other women swiping his card and the payment went through with a 'beep' and I fell back "thank you- Y/n come on"

"I hate you- why couldn't you let me pay?" I asked as he grabbed my hand pulling me from the restaurant "and how much was it?- thank you!" I smiled to the women behind the bar "a lot I bet and thats why you're not telling me huh?" I started again his hand tightened around mine, pushing me against the door of his car, my mouth zipped shut

"stop with the questions- I'd be a arsehole if I let you pay a single penny, so shut your pretty lips before I make you do something to keep you silent-" a red flush painted my body, his hooded eyes scanned me up and down "good" he lent forward pressing a kiss to the corner of my closed lips before opening the door for me to which I sat in and waited for his door to open.

the drive home was different- no words shared but so many things said with out looks, his hand holding my leg in place as he toyed with my skin giving me trails of goosebumps along my thigh, he threatened to push under my skirt, every time making me hold my breath waiting for some sort of friction but he just pulled away making me internally curse. we got home, our street dark, pulling into my drive nobody else was there sending a excited shock through my body.

We walked hand in hand up to my door- the same place as the night before, were we shared a kiss that would lead to us saying we loved each other not just platonically, Tom stood across from me, his hands hidden in his jeans "thank you for tonight Tom- I loved it so much"

"no problem- sorry I was a cunt about the bill, I didn't mean to sound so.. you know?" we shared a laugh as I walked to him wrapping my arms around his neck pulling him to look at me

"I liked it-" our lips met eagerly, I'd been waiting for this since we left the restaurant, the palm of his hand reached down, grabbing my ass, bringing me closer "fuck-" I let go to reach behind me to the door, opening it and pulling Tom in with me a terror washing over him

"Y/n what about your parents-" I turned back to him and smiled

"I forgot they were going out- they aren't here, Stella is at nans- it all okay" I kicked the door closed and his mood swung back, dragging my body back to him and hauling me up over his shoulder "TOM!" I screamed having to push myself up on his lower back as he carried my up the stairs, I felt the coldness of his lip ring as he pressed open kisses to my exposed thighs. we made it to my room where the main light was on and he dropped me onto my bed, crawling above me

"look at you- so beautiful below me hm?" I nodded my head listening to his every word "such a pretty girl"

"your girl-" I added seeing his face brighten slightly before falling dark again as his hand cupped my jaw

"all mine?" I nodded, his hand traveled to my waist sending a warm sensation through me "is this mine?" again I nodded my head, I felt his hand go down to my legs gently rubbing circles around the skin "is this mine?" like before I nodded "mhm.. and how about this?" his fingers drove to the inside of my thigh, involuntarily my legs parted just enough for his hand to palm me through my panties making me gasp "is this mine?"

"m-mhm, all yours Tom" I answered trying not to close my thighs around his hand, a sadistic smile painted his lips as he leaned down to me, hand not moving

"you like this don't you? with my hand just there- is there something you want?" I couldn't keep myself from him, crashing my lips onto him with so much want

"I-want-you" I spoke between kisses "please" I begged, Tom pulled off me, standing above looking down at me leaving me cold without his heat on me. he walked over switching the light off leaving us in a dim darkness, only light being from my desk, I watched as his hands went below his shirt pulling it over his head taking the cap and headband off too throwing them to my floor, his abs looked defined in the light, his muscles looking bigger than ever, the feeling between my legs only grew

"take a picture sweetheart" he purred going to his knees, the feeling of him unlacing my boots

"don't tempt me" I smiled leaning up to watch him pull the boots off and chuck them back under the bed and crawled back on top of me "thank you" I whispered into his ear

"no problem darling" he dove down into my neck, peppering kisses all over working down my chest as I struggled to keep myself propped up on the sheets, he stopped at the neck of my shirt looking up at me as I gave him a nod to take it off, he came back pressing another kiss to my lips before his hands pulled the top over my head exposing my bare chest to him, his eyes only became darker staring at me, I felt worried but the adrenaline soon kicked that as his lips pressed against mine pushing me onto the mattress below "god you are beautiful everywhere huh?" I grinned pushing him away giggling, he went down again, letting his lips go around my sensitive nipple, licking the bud until I was holding back a moan, his other free hand needing me, I let my nails dig into his back causing noises to fall from his lips

"shit- Tom Oh" I started feeling myself only get wetter, his teeth grated my skin coming back up to my neck "I- holy shit, i need you" I whimpered as his hands traveled to my thighs

"breath Y/n- I'm getting there sweetheart there's no rush" a sly smile gripped his mouth "relax"

"I am- just bored of waiting" I teased hooking my legs over his waist swapping our positions, him below me staring up in shock "relax" I mimicked

"watch your mouth" my hips rolled against his as his words exited him "Y/n-" Tom warned

"what? can't take it?" my voice was thick of lust, drowning his ears, pressing a kiss to his skin working down to his exposed collar bone "or is it you don't want me?" I whined to him, pushing myself down harder hearing a groan from him

"you're a tease y/n/n" I laughed letting my hands circle his chest

"shame..." I breathed "is this hard for you Tommy?" his eyes closed at the nickname, mouth tightening shut, his hands holding my highs still, squeezing harder than before, his jeans feeling much tighter "hm- I guess it is" as I went to climb off Tom pulled me back, slamming my torso to his

"don't you dare" our eyes met, I grinned at him but he wasn't as happy "I'll wipe that smile away in a second doll"

"yeah?" he nodded "do it Kaulitz"

[rapha-reads]

IWTV rewatch

Season 1 episode 2 [... After the Phantoms of Your Former Self] - part 2/3

- [Daniel] "White master, Black student, but equal in the quiet dark" - *spits out the water I just drunk* DANIEL MOLLOY THE QUEEN THAT YOU ARE. And Louis immediately answering the provocation with a slam down of his own. I am so here for the Louis/Daniel bromance, the way they can just spend hours snarking at each other. Saltmates, if you will.

Louis is such a Bitch, the way he decides to eat that fox in front of Daniel to remind him that "vampires are killers", and the way he lets the blood drip, when canonically vampires never waste any blood (at least in the book, that's one of the thing Lestat repeats often, a vampire's feeding is clean, no trace of blood left anywhere, but in a visual media about vampires, of course it looks better to have the blood dripping on the chin after, sometimes you gotta privilege aesthetic over function).

[Louis] "Vampires are killers, apex predators whose all-seeing eyes were meant to give them detachment, the ability to see a human life in its entirety, not with any mawkish sorrow, but with the thrilling satisfaction of being the end of that life and having a hand in the divine plan."

Yeaaah, like Daniel says, "don't expect every reader to swallow that one". Because for one thing, you don't even fully believe it, Louis, you who's about to spend several years starving yourself feeding only on rats and cats, you who just had a fox for supper instead of going hunting, you who hates feeding on humans and doesn't let even your fellow vampires witness you feeding (book canon), you who also goes during the 20th century from crisis of faith to fully atheist and uncaring about religion... Pretty words. Empty words. I'm not buying it.

"Mawkish": lacking flavor or having an unpleasant taste / exaggeratedly or childishly emotional (Merriam-Webster). Well I didn't know that word. Collins Dictionary tells me that the best translation to French would be "mièvre", and now I am loving this even more. "Mièvre" is not a very used word in French, which is a shame because it's a very pretty and very evocative word, and "mawkish" definitely gives me the same impression. Yey, I learned something new today! New word to incorporate to my vocabulary.

- I swear I'm not trying to comment every single minute of this episode, but every single minute brings something interesting. I have to stop on Louis and Lestat's conversation about languages and killing being its own language, as a multilingual person myself (I could spend hours talking linguistics, sorry not sorry):

[Lestat] "'When I first started learning English, I abhorred it. Every word felt like a doorknob falling out of my mouth. Chapeau is a hat, étoile was a star...' [Louis] 'Killin' folks ain't a second language!' [Lestat] 'But when I started dreaming in English, that's when I embraced it. And now, I have English consonants to thank for this astonishing jawline.' [Louis] 'These are nightmares I'm having, Lestat, not dreams.'"

Firstly, yeah, Lestat's right, "hat" is weird. It's chapeau in French, cappello in Italian, kapela in Greek, even quba'a in Arabic, and Arabic is not even an Indo-European language... The heck does hat come from? *resists the urge to go linguistic deep dive* Secondly, yeah, he's right, he does have an amazing jawline - taking this opportunity to bring attention to the scar on the corner of his mouth, book readers know what's up. Where was I? Ah, yeah. No, Lestat's right about a foreign language sounding weird in your mouth until you start to understand its spirit instead of only its letter - words falling out of your mind versus dreaming in that language. Been talking English for long enough that I do dream in English, and been multilingual all my life so I adapt to languages fast enough, but it's still a struggle. I'm fluent in Spanish now, but I don't dream in Spanish yet, and I sometimes feel like the word sounds wrong when it actually sounds like it should.

What it means in regard to Louis is that he's a slow learner. Gotta sound the kill one by one, taking your time, before you get to be a consummate killer. Can't learn a language in a night. Can't learn a language if you don't practice. Can't get used to killing if you don't kill, and can't survive if you don't kill, and vicious circle, doesn't kill>doesn't survive>doesn't practice>doesn't learn>doesn't survive>doesn't kill... Extremely interesting to see that Lestat IS actually teaching Louis about vampire ways, but Louis is not ready to listen yet, or, to continue the metaphor, they're not speaking the same language and they haven't learned to understand each other's language (not talking about accents obviously, but once again taking the opportunity to praise both Sam and Jacob's vocal work, between Sam's French accented drawling English and Jacob's Creole slang in NOLA and flat "standard" English in Dubai, it's a feast for the ears).

Okay, while Lestat's teaching Louis how to read minds (the Mind Gift, that book!Louis actually doesn't get in the books until very, very late on, and isn't good at, and doesn't show), wanna just say: look how giddy they are! Look how soft they are with each other! Look how fondly Louis speaks to Lestat, how fondly Lestat looks at Louis! We forget, and Louis too, but in between the misunderstandings and the drama and the anguish, they DID love each other, they DID have good times, they DID build a life with each other. It wasn't complete (and no I'm not talking about darling Claudia, I'm talking about speaking the same language), but it was good enough for quite a few years.

Oh man, Louis reading his family's minds, I coulda told him that's a bad idea *points to every literature with a man reader*, but also that passage in Narnia (Dawn Trader) when Lucy spies on her school friends and hear things she didn't want to read and didn't have to know. Don't have time to go search for that passage now, but Aslan tells her something like "some things really do not need be done", or sum' like that.

- Oh, hey, look. More social commentary. That white guy's gonna get eaten if he keeps patronising Louis like that. "You truly are an exceptional Negro" - hey Lou baby, can I kill him please? Lemme kill him for you. "I had let them talk to me like that so long, I had stopped hearing it" - oh, and Louis' accent is slipping here, can you hear it. Really, REALLY love how that change from book canon adds so many layers to Louis' character. Hey, have I said lately that Louis' my favourite? 'Cause Louis is my favourite. "Yes, sir. Of course, sir. Subject, verb, agreement, sir. Smile, nod, yes sir." - AWARDS FOR JACOB, all the awards for Jacob please, and my gods how much do I adore Louis, that sassy, snarky, bitchy queen. I want to have a book club with him.

"But I wasn't a man anymore. I was something else. I had powers now, and decades of rage to process, and it was both random and unfortunate, the man picked that night to dabble in fuckery." - so first, Jacob keeps on flexing his vocal skills by letting Louis slip more and more back to his original accent, and then, YES KING, get his ass, DRAIN HIM. And in a more meta way, all hails liberation movements and the process of reclaiming one's identity. Maybe not through murder, we all ain't lucky enough to be vampires, but yeah, rage is a good tool actually. Rage can lead to enormous movements that change the fabric of society for the better. Never underestimate the power of repressed rage finally expressing itself when it's yielded by clever, resourceful, empathic beings. Sorry, that was the "segregated Southern States social commentary as a mirror for 21st century's current liberation movements social commentary" minute, back to the vampires.

[Lestat] "You are a library of confusion" - first of all, Sam's delivery, with the hand gestures and the head shake, MAGNIFICENT, but also, it's Lestat starting to realize that maaaaaaybe he bit more than he can chew. Maaaaaybe.

[Louis] "'There's some things you don't get about America, Lestat.' [Lestat] 'Yes, let's have this conversation again.' [Louis] 'Colored; white. Creole; French. Queer; half-queer, mostly queer, what is it?' [Lestat] 'Non-discriminating.' [Louis] 'Complicated situation we got here is what I'm saying.'"

ICONIC. And also, maaaaan do I love that that's the road RJ and Cie decided to go with, one of the only changes I've been having issues is the time skip (from 1797 to 1910, cf. episode 1 part 1 rewatch). But this little conversation here actually warms me to it! The layers, man, the layers. Also, love that Lestat self-identifies as non-discriminating, that's so totally him about basically everything: skin color and ethnicity, sexuality and gender, species, age... Drama Queen really said "everything goes, eeeeeeverything".

- "How can I say no to you?" - awwww, Lestat is so whipped for Louis.

[Louis] "From 1912 to 1917" - oooh thanks for the time stamps. So it's been two years since he's turned, and it's on for 5 years of stability. The famous "honeymoon era".

[Louis] "I made a mountain of money, enough to retire and be buried like a pharaoh" - uuuuuh *side-eyes cautiously Queen of the Damned* let's not talk about Egyptian monarchy yet, yeah, that'll come to burn us soon enough.

Oops, the baby scene. And Louis realising he can't hold on to his family, that they're about to slip between his fingers like sand... Ow. [Grace] "I'm sure Mama would love to see you" *rapid glance* *giggles* That's siblings for "yeaaaah no, lol, Mama would definitely NOT love to see me, you crazy".

[Louis] "I no longer kill. My last victim was in the year 2000." BUT DID YOU EAT THE BABY, LOUIS. "I sit here a master of my instincts." But did you eat the baby, Louis. Slight aside, but how is this dinner still on going?? WAIT, go back a second: [Daniel] "And you know this how, you guys have a thread on 8chan?" - BENJI MENTION? I sooo want to see Benji's radio. Though if we still follow book events but on show timeline, Armand hasn't met Benji and Sybelle yet, because they're turned a decade after Daniel. Repeating myself, but RJ did say he'd adapt Prince Lestat, and Benji's one of the main players of this book, so I'm sure we'll see him, but it's going to be a while, I think.

- Wait, I need to relisten to that conversation:

[Daniel] "'And what about the others out there? Have they mastered theirs?' [Louis] 'Just the opposite. Most of them are slaves to the blood, exhausted from decades, centuries of hiding, giddy to increase their numbers.' [...] [Daniel] 'Is the pandemic the opening they've been waiting for?' [Louis] 'Pandemic, the unravelling of geopolitical foundations. [...] One of them, a brute in Madagascar, called it 'the great conversion'.'"

Oh, lots to say here. Lots that will spoil the books too. Because hey, y'all know what happens in Queen of the Damned, after Lestat's concert? Yepppp. Pretty sure Rolin Jones just planted the seeds of seasons 3 and 4. And served on a silver platter with delicious 21st century social commentary. I'm having the time of my life.

[Daniel] "'Well most people I know like to play a little ball in the afternoon, or maybe go down to the beach, catching a few rays.' [Louis] 'Yes. What on earth would a meth-addicted son of a coal miner in West Virginia want with eternal life?' [Daniel] 'Did you eat the baby?' [Louis] 'Or the Arab youth whose whole family were wiped from existence...' [Daniel] 'Did you eat the baby?' [Louis] '... by a Western drone? No, I'm sure you're right.'"

SHOTS FIRED. And another Benji mention! And a personal attack. And Louis being his glorious catty self. And Daniel being his glorious one-minded self. We're heading for another "outburst", lmao.

The Damek scene is just so fucking weird, I'm wheezing. Nothing to say here, just: this show is a freaking comedy. Between Louis perfecting the Little Drink but his taste of the night just passing out, and Daniel going "you might have a drinking problem" and then going back to his idea of the night, "the goddamn baby, Louis, did you fucking eat the bloody baby", this is peak humor.

Aaaaaand we need a third part, still 15 minutes to go.

episode 1 | part 1 | part 3 | episode 3 | episode 4 | episode 5 | episode 6 | episode 7

[doppiopinkman]

I am on my hands and knees begging you to tell me some of your Secco headcanons 🙏

Ok! I saved this ask for Secco Saturday!

Here's a bunch of stuff that's not in any sort of order

I think Secco Rottario is around 26 or so during Part 5.

He's canonically not very good with technology. However, I think if you were to dump him in the middle of the woods for a few days with nothing but a bindle and a dream, he'd be okay! He'd be fine! He'd probably even come back carrying food he hunted and foraged for!

Secco from the main universe to me has blonde hair. In the Jorge Joestar universe, he has a mop of dark brown/black hair. Main universe Secco's hair is natural, Jorge Joestar Secco's hair is not.

Secco has a tattoo of a chocolate bar (dedicated to you know who) as well as other smaller tattoos in miscellaneous areas.

Speaking of tattoos! Jorge Joestar Secco has an Evil Dead chainsaw tattoo.

He doesn't talk much around other people, especially around people in Passione. He mostly listens in on other's conversations, using false rumors (i.e., stuff about lobotomy) about him and Cioccolata to his advantage.

Only a select few people in Passione have been able to figure out what the fuck his deal is. Those people are Cioccolata, Tiziano, and Bruno. Cioccolata doesn't need an explanation, Secco trusts this man to the point of joining the mafia with him. Tiziano is a lawyer, so it's kinda his job to pick apart people's personas and arguments, plus his stand is the lie detector stand. And we were there with Bruno.

Secco usually can't find his words for some things. But he knows a scary amount of anatomical vocabulary, all from experience and studying with his doctor. The word 'bitch' has left the room and in its place came 'Scapula', 'Tibia', and 'Vertebral Column'

If you ask Secco to play SSB with you, he's picking Mr. Game & Watch and will be struggling the whole time. If you have the DLC characters, he'll pick Minecraft Zombie and will be struggling the whole time.

He's a little freak at Poker! He's got one hell of a poker face, plus if he's up against people who've never seen him face to face before, he has the added benefit of mystery and intimidation on his side.

Secco probably lies a lot about his life before Passione. From "I lived in an abandoned theme park with 3 roommates" to "I was created in a lab by the Italian government, but I escaped." The truth is probably incredibly mundane in comparison. Again, only Cioccolata knows the truth, and he's NOT spilling the beans. He probably even adds to the lies like a yes and improv scene.

He's not picky at all with food. He ate a dirt off the ground, c'mon now.

[aristotels]

Despite Croatian small stature and insignificance, its proximity to the vast expanse of Mediterranean shoreline is absurd. The return of Bosnia and Croatia back to rest of Serb lands, which are more populous and culturally rich, makes more sense in terms of geopolitical considerations. After West destroyed Yugoslavia, all those small countries are just so irrelevant with no Belgrade to lead them. Do you believe that in the future, a greater number of Croats will embrace Yugoslav identity and begin to identify as Yugoslav and Serb instead of Croat?

i love these very obvious bait asks but let me entertain you. this is the last time im giving an actual answer to this.

1) there is no reason for croats to identify as serbs. yugoslavia means yugoslavia, it does not mean greater serbia. in general there is no need for any country in yugoslavia to identify as nationalistic, because the identity should be yugoslavian.

there is a reason why i always say im dalmatian in my posts, and why i call myself a yugoslav. croatian in my bio is there to simply let know which part of yugoslavia im from, because i dont expect many people to know about dalmatia.

2) croatia, serbia, montenegro, bosnia etc are INCREDIBLY culturally rich countries, to the point that croats argue within ourselves; dalmatian culture is very different than kvarner, theyre different than lika, thats different than zagorje, thats different than posavina, me��imurje, etc. All these places have different types of food, music, dance, mentality, and even as croatian i cannot understand the dialect used in gruntovčani (and many people from zagreb will struggle with velo i malo misto), and i have trouble with istrian dialect, and they have problem with forski dialect. wherever you go in yugoslavia youll encounter these things.

3) why would croats "return to serb lands" when we have been on the adriatic shore since 7th century? im dalmatian, and we even carry name dalmatia from the illyrian delmati tribes due to assimilation. our culture is mediterranean, our dances and music are different than stereotypical slav-culture you may envision. along with četnik views i guess you also share them with italian iredentists? partizans - croatian, serbian, slovenian etc partizans died to liberate dalmatia from the fascists. tito knew the importance of adriatic shore, italians placed my people in camps and forced dalmatians to italianize our names.

p.s. od vardara do triglava was yugoslavian motto for a reason. yugoslavia was always supposed to be where it is.

4) "belgrade to lead" even with belgrade as the center josip broz tito was slovenian-croatian. and guess what? that doesnt even matter. the over-centralization and nationalism were problems after his death, and nationalism which YOU are propagating was not blameless in the fall of yugoslavia.

personally i have problems with zagreb centralization too before you start being annoying about my BOG I HRVATINE identity.

5) you see, i know you dont know what youre talking about because yugoslavia didnt seek to assimilate the identities. the regional identities were important - the NATIONALISTIC ones were the ones being discouraged, and those are different things. as a yugoslav you are SUPPOSED to say "the adriatic shore is mine, the panonian sea is mine, the dinara hills are mine, i wasnt born there but these things are things of my people, for i am yugoslavian, and as yugoslavian slavonija and hercegovina and srem and vojvodina are mine, because those are my people, thats my homeland".

and thats why i have lepa brena in my bio. because "oči su mi more jadransko, kosa mi je klasje panonsko, sestra mi je duša slovenska, ja sam jugoslovenka" is incredibly beautiful and brena always kept the yu identity and the beautiful diversity it encompassed. and still is today. you think that differences are yugoslavian downfall and not strength, and that it should divide us and not unite us. you dont see the "we love your splitian music and your beautiful city :) greetings from belgrade" and "my best memories are from sarajevo, greetings from zagreb" and you dont hear belgradians telling me "haha we love your accent! the coffee is free for you :)" when i visited, and you dont see the waiter which was serving me and my serbian guests here in neretva, who said "of course we will make turkish coffee for you, take these free pancakes for your kid, you have a long drive ahead" and you dont see or hear the differences in exyu bands, the music which is fantastic and still holds up, because zabranjeno pušenje and daleka obala were very different and that diversity made for a rich cultural scene.

and why do i think you dont see any of this? because im sure, so very sure, that you dont speak serbian, nor croatian, nor bosnian, nor macedonian, nor slovenian, nor montenegrin. i am very certain you are not a yugoslav yourself.

you are a reactionary looking to instigate shit and a mindset that new yugoslavia cannot be built on. you are looking to divide people. you are sending these things on purpose. and i may be an idiot for catching on, but i felt this needed to be said.

and this is the last time im adressing this bullshit. next time send a message in serbo-croatian. im not going to answer these things in english anymore.

why would we be discussing our yugoslavian homeland in a foreign language?

p.s. you can keep sending this shit but my dads side of family is serbian you absolute idiot, and a part of my moms family is serbian as well. hardest part of visiting belgrade is choosing which cousins to stay with and how to not offend either of them.

[magnuficent76]

★○~ ! INTRO POST ! ~○★

{ ★ HOWDY ! Name's Magnus ! I'm an adult from Brazil and this is my art blog. I'm mainly an oc artist, but I occasionally make some fanart for games if it manages to make me insane enough. My main tag is #magoriginals , but there's more under the cut along with extras about me ! Hope you enjoy me bog :D here's some of me art ! ★ }

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[bharv]

I believe it was regarding futurism? I could be mistaken, though - Gort Inspo anon

Italian Futurism!

So going to preface this by saying I am very much a layman when it comes to art history this is just my own little interest. Gonna put a cool sculpture image for attention (and also like. Yeah) and then go under the cut:

So the manifesto for futurism was the following tenets (bolded for emphasis of particular themes by me:)

Manifesto of Futurism

1. We intend to glorify the love of danger, the custom of energy, the strength of daring.

2. The essential elements of our poetry will be courage, audacity, and revolt.

3. Literature having up to now glorified has exalted a pensive immobility, ecstasy, and sleep. We intend to exalt aggressive action, feverish insomnia, the racer’s stride, the mortal leap, the punch, and the slap.

4. We declare that the splendour of the world has been enriched with a new form of beauty, the beauty of speed. A race-automobile adorned with great pipes like serpents with explosive breath… a race-automobile which seems to rush over exploding power is more beautiful than the Victory of Samothrace.

5. We will sing the praise of man holding the fly-wheel of which the ideal steering-post traverses the earth impelled itself around the circuit of its own orbit.

6. The poet must spend himself with warmth brilliancy and prodigality to augment the fervor of the primordial elements.

7. There is no more beauty except in struggle. No master-piece without the stamp of aggressiveness. Poetry should be a violent assault against unknown forces to summon them to lie down at the feet of man.

8. We are on the extreme promontory of ages! Why look back since we must break down the mysterious doors of Impossibility? Time and Space died yesterday. We already live in the Absolute for we have already created the omnipresent eternal speed.

9. We will glorify war – the only true hygiene of the world – militarism, patriotism, the destructive gesture of anarchists, the beautiful Ideas which kill, and the scorn of women.

10. We will destroy museums, libraries and fight against moralism, feminism and all utilitarian cowardice.

11. We will sing of great message agitated by work pleasure or revolt: we will sing of the multicolored and polyphonic surf of revolutions in the modern capitals; the nocturnal vibration of arsenals and docks beneath their glaring electric moons; greedy stations devouring smoking serpents; factories hanging from the clouds by the threads of their smoke; bridges like giant gymnasts stepping over sunny rivers sparkling like diabolical cutlery; adventurous steamers scenting the horizon; large breasted locomotives bridled with long tubes, and the slippery flight of aeroplanes whose propeller has flag-like fluttering and applauses of enthusiastic crowds.

Futurism favoured the new, the machine, the strive for an almost post-human clarity of spirit. They were obsessed with the fragmentation and dissection of form, the impact of technological advancement, the shunning of what was perceived to be holding man back. It's probably no coincidence that the movement had a profound impact on Mussolini and the development of the fascist aesthetic in Italy.

And Gortash has SO many references to the future of Faerun, to the machine, to the Ultimate State of unity without free will, the feeding of brains to technology which we see in a number of prototypes, of a new age for Baldur's Gate through combining technologies and destroying the systems of the past. He is a man of the present and the future alone!

[arkiwii]

user meeblo made me want to do a nostalgia trip through my first operators and the context I got them, if anyone cares! and its pretty funny i swear because you can see my eternal struggle to get just one non rare operator (im cursed)

under the cut because mass posting of screenshots from my game

I remember I joined just after Ideal City concluded, so I never got the occasion to get Gavial alter, F

But the joint operation banner for CC #10 was here! and many liberi operators available in it, so i pulled so much

seems like dobermann was my first pull, which i remember being happy with because i was convinced she was a rare/strong operator since she was in the main scenario... well i ended up barely using her

Exusiai was my first 6-stars from that guaranteed banner, and Quercus my first 5-stars from standard pool 81! I really wanted Mudrock at the time, but I was too focused on getting the birds out of the CC#10 banner

La Pluma my BELOVED, i got her on the CC#10 banner and she carried me through the entire game, and also was my second E2, she's amazing

a bit more of 5-stars history, Ayerscape soon followed and was my main too for a while - then I realized around a week after I started the game that I had vouchers (i am so oblivious), and got Projekt Red and Silence from them! I literally started the game for these two, AND Aciddrop that I rolled not long after, so I was really happy about it! and shout-out to Mr.Nothing who showed up on the CC#10 banner

Finally, some 6-stars!

So, a fun story. you see how La Pluma, Mr. Nothing, Passenger and Mulberry have a ton of potential? Well. It's because the banner was about to end and I REALLY wanted Magallan. so, yeah. i whaled a bit. never pulled Magallan. Passenger showed up so many times I still can't believe it

Also got Carnelian - and we can see the first side stories I did, in the heart of a surging flame was the first because I've been told that Ceylon was a BIRD

Here it starts to be funny

I pulled Blaze and Fiammetta so randomly as off-banners, then on a standard banner, I got Phantom and Aak (off-banner) on my first 10 pulls

Dossoles Holidays event rerun, we can see I was farming CC at that time since I got Erato and Bibeak, then Dorothy Vision happened, from which I pulled Ptilopsis, I really wanted her!

Saga is here because my biggest struggle when I started was with Vanguards. I only used Texas and Courrier, and it was awful - a friend recommended me to pull Saga because she was a very good Vanguard, and she arrived, glad she did! I still use her today

Now. Now we go into the funny.

I rolled Mlynar out of boredome in like 13 pulls because "apparently he's strong so why not" (never used him), Conviction from April's fool, and now, we go into the problem.

LAPPLAND.

At that time I was around chapter 5-6? and there was a lot of those explosive slugs, ice slugs and stuff. I NEEDED Lappland, I kept borrowing her as a support unit. And good for me, she got a banner, with Ifrit and Weedy! So I pulled

I got both Ifrit and Weedy, then TWO off banners, Archetto and Hoshiguma, before I got Lappland. She took me 100 goddamn pulls to get her. I hate you Lappland

Then my first top operator tag with Saria! i was in italy at the time. italian saria. then Nearl Light rerun

Now the enter the second funny and it's worse than Lappland.

smiles.

TOTTER.

Yes. A 4-stars. With 50% rate to drop.

See Ch'en, Stainless and Goldenglow? I pulled these 3 BEFORE TOTTER. JUST. HOW. I must have slapped 100 rolls too for him, for just a 4-stars. i am cursed i told you.

Flametail is very funny. Her banner was up and I was like "well, i pretty much like her, and i wouldn't say no to another vanguard, but im afraid i wont pull her, and im trying to save..."

Then i got her FIRST PULL? she wanted me

i screamed and shaked irl

THEN I rolled for Ashlock because if i get Flametail I HAD to get Ashley. do not separate them

Got Irene on her banner with Ceobe as well, really glad I did I really loved her and using her in IS3!

With the thank you celebration i decided to put an end to my failed Magallan hunt on CC#10 banner and directly bought her from the 6-stars voucher

Texalter and Penance I got on Il Siracusano banner because. yeah. i didn't really wanted them but cool i guess

Break the Ice rerun, I rolled like hell for Gnosis (BIRD), then got a senior operator tag with Elysium, directly followed by a top operator tag with Hellagur! then CC#11 happened and I rolled Fartooth in my first 10 rolls

Once again rolled very hard for Skadi and got her!! Mayer appeared on the next banner :]

Then What the Firelast Cast while I was visiting a friend. this friend saw me going through all stages of grief trying to roll Reedalter and getting Pozy and Mudrock instead, but finally got them...

I got Schwarz from that one banner with a guaranteed 6-stars you don't have, was secretly hoping for Mostima

Justice Knight 👏 DROPPED completing my Pinus Sylvestris gang

3.5 anniversary and I bought the one voucher that guaranteed either Dorothy, Surtr or Silverash, and got Dorothy, woo! I got Chongyue while trying to get Firewhistle potentials

And finally my last hunt with Cantabile, in like 140~ rolls, where I pulled a dupe Blaze and Irene, but I got Reed so that's a W

And Mostima, I'm glad she showed so soon because i was TIRED

I can finally save for Lone Trail now! I have about 100 rolls saved in one month without any pulls (except the free ones), so goal to 300 rolls before the event starts!

That's all, that's my funny little history in Arknights!

In conclusion, fuck Lappland, Totter and Cantabile, they're not invited to my birthday party

[nuwildcat]

WIP Wednesday Cocktails and Chapter 2 of Silvered Perceptions

Right so if you’ve read my fics you pic up pretty quickly that Porsche, Tay, and I share a love of cocktails. I have officially given in and admitted that I just love to write a good cocktail into a story. Upon the suggestion of @dr-lemurr​ I am going to make a post this week including the recipes for the cocktails featured in this weeks chapter!

First all of these cocktails are served in chilled glasses. This is super easy to do, you just add ice and water to the cocktail glass while you are preparing the drink and then toss it out before pouring!

Cocktail 1 (Porsche’s experiment) The Tamarind Daiquiri:

This drink requires a cocktail base made of Tamarind, lemongrass, fresh ginger, and brown sugar. I’ve linked the recipe here.

2 ounces White Rum (We went with a Phuket local rum called Chalong Bay)

1 ounce Tamarind Base

1 1/2 ounces fresh lime juice

Combine the liquid ingredients in a shaker with ice and shake for 30 seconds, or until the shaker starts to ice over on the outside. Strain into the chilled daiquiri glass and garnish with a twist of Lime peel.

Cocktail 2 (Kinn’s Drink) The Revolver

2 ounces of Bourbon

1/2 ounce of Tia Maria (coffee liqueur)

2 dashes of orange bitters

Combine ingredients in shaker and shake until chilled, 15 seconds. Strain liquid into chilled Nick and Nora glass. Flame orange peel over the glass to release essential oils and twist to garnish.

Cocktail 3 (Tay’s Drink) The Hanky Panky

1 1/2 ounces of Gin

1 1/2 ounces of Sweet Vermouth

2 Dashes of Fernet-Branca (a bitter Italian digestivo)

Combine into a shaker with ice and shake until chilled, 15 seconds. Strain into chilled coupe glass. Twist an orange peel over glass and then garnish with twist.

Here’s a snippet of Chapter 2!

After pulling the empty keg out from under the bar, Porsche grunts as he levers the much heavier full one into its spot. Twisting the line into place is easy, he’s done this a hundred times and will probably do it a hundred more.

Yok bustles behind him, bringing freshly cleaned fruit over to the cutting board she has set up and preparing to get chopping. They open the bar together most nights. It’s easier. The two of them have been doing this for so long that they don’t need to speak when they’re working. Jom often joins too, but he’s busy with a family party tonight.

Porsche and Yok are most of the way through the prep and starting to goof off as Yok has him make the new cocktail he’s working on for the menu. He’s come up with a tamarind, ginger, and lemongrass base that they are trying to pair with the right alcohol. Today he’s mixing it with a Thai white rum from Phuket, Chalong Bay Rum, and lime juice to make a funky take on a Daiquiri.

Yok sips hers and hums, smacking her lips in satisfaction. Porsche is pleased with how this one came out. They can use the local aspects of the drink to make it sell better.

“Best thing I ever did was hire your scrawny ass,” Yok teases him.

Porsche scoffs dramatically, “Scrawny? I was not scrawny!”

Yok tips back her head cackling. It pulls a smile out of Porsche as well; he loves this woman with all his heart.

“You were though! Still trying to fill out and figure out your way in the world.” She reaches over and pinches his cheek. “You may have been a fighter even then, but it took you time to grow into those long legs and yourself.”

She isn’t wrong. Porsche struggled to fit in, not looking or acting like an omega “should”— whatever that fucking was. Yok, who knew something about the struggle to find one’s own identity, acted as a guide and a confidant. She never judged, but she did make a great shoulder to cry on.

This chapter will come out tomorrow, so keep an eye for that! Still need to read chapter 1? You can find it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44397949/chapters/111665977

[the-italian-benedictmafia]

the mafia reveal.

"Mafia" is an informal term that is used to describe criminal organizations that bear a strong similarity to the original "Mafia": the Italian Mafia. The central activity of such an organization would be the arbitration of disput

so um.

ITS MEEEE TRUMAN

tbh it was obvious but teeheeeeee

im gonna be honest. i was fucking around the entire time. the popsicles meant NOTHING I AM SO SORRY SOPHIE. 3/4 of the shit I said was on the fly and I was shitposting.

i am working with no one else, I did this on my own and I have no clue what the other accounts are :]

i made this account after i saw the initial commotion in the discord and did not realize all the Italian posts were from the same person. i thought it would be funny to do what Gert was doing so I did it and instantly started shitposting. the Mexican flag happened (WHICH WAS A COMPLETE ACCIDENT I THOUGHT NOT REFERENCING IT WOULD B FUNNY SO I DIDNT) and I was regarded as the IMPASTA

me getting blocked by Gert was very funny I loved it. however I still wanted to be an ally in my own silly way so I drew attention away to prevent their identity from being found out. also because I was bored the day before spring break ended but uh oh school!! last two days I've struggled to stay active and have been cueing a lot of posts. this has been a top tier shitpost account and although yes I've been hinting a lot I am absolutely alone here.

i am not a south park fan or a hairspray fan

i did hide a lot of things in the videos though!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! check them out closely

i am just doing things <3

sorry fir throwing people under the bus <3

i raiise a toast to all the new italian impersonators and just know if you want help fucking around I am here :3

ALSO IF ANYONE HAS QUESTIONS FEEL FREE TO SEND AN ASK OR MESSAGE OR DM OR @ ME IN DISCORD OK ILY GUYS

i also ran @italian-jacksonandjillson

ALSO SORRY GERT IF YOU WERE UPSET OVER ME IMPERSONATING I DID NOT INTEND TO INFRINGE ONYL TO INFRINGE FUNNILY <333333333

BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[fracturedporcelaindoll]

Dear diary,

Is self awareness really so grand?

I feel it's both a blessing and a curse, for you are aware of actions that may result in possible outcomes as well as gain a better insight to yourself but at the same time the saying of ignorance is bliss is true as well in that you'll have less worries as you wouldn't additional be overthinking nor contemplating all the realizations that come with being self aware or gaining more self awareness~

Like as an example the realizations that I'll never get my hair platinum blonde it's just naturally too dark that the dye will not have that effect. But moreover the fact that I love princess aesthetic hair, the voluminous cascading curls but naturally my hair is very fine and straight with a slim slight wave to it~

The additional information that perms do more damage to hair and the fact that if had curls I'd have to use comb or tease out the tangles not exactly thrilling experience- flash back to comb being used for tangles as child- so painful~

The struggle with sticking to diet is progressively harder and why because of this idolized notion of normal... is it normal to have 3 meals a day, eat what you like that's reasonably healthy and still not gain excessive weight?~ maybe for the lucky few that have fast metabolisms or great genes but for average individuals no....~

It just adds more stress cause why can't you be like everyone else? Oh the irony~

I need to lose the weight I've gained and I could regret the decision to have that pizza that was given as promintial advertising but no because that was the most delicious pizza ever...~

Claimed to be traditional Italian and I can say it was certainly so... in a world of over done lack luster and oily pizzas this was the best...~

The secret to good pizza is not just the dough or crust its everything~

The crust was perfect, the sauce was spicy without being overly so and the taste of herbs was appreciated, the cheese... never have I had such mouth watering delicious cheese and the pepperoni crispy flavorful without being excessively oily~

Dieting is hard for various reasons, yes some due to literally feeling hungry.. don't you just wish could naturally reduce appetite by more force of will or thinking not so easily achieved~

Then emotional aspects, period cravings and stressful days or something as simple wanting to snack while watching a movie..~

The late night snacks have always been one of harder ones for me to resistant indulging in~

I don't like my face maybe if I had cosmetic surgery, double eyelids, cute button nose, big doe eyes or nice cheekbones than I'd like my face but nope don't like it as it is~

I considered getting a furry aesthetic mask because the ability to craft doll like aspects blended with realism of creatures is admirable and beautiful to me as an art~

Although I am not a furry myself or have much interest in exploring such realms but do admire the art of craftsmanship to make such elaborate masks~

I realized that would draw more attention and while I may already be considered weird for my aesthetic tastes fashion related I don't need more attention so the usual of sunglasses paired with face mask is probably the most practical way to go about covering up~

My only issue with face masks is it makes drinking impossible since have to remove mask and then the stuffiness, flogging up glasses and walking into stuff will happen lol~

Maybe I'll start saving up for a total makeover~

[space-blue]

okay first of all how does anyone bear to do asks i need to keep switching between two tabs trying to figure out what questions i'm trying to ask, there's got to be an easier way-- BUT right, Behind the Scenes asks: 1, 5, 12, 18 PLEASE, and 23. (PS am i supposed to ask so many? prob not. screw it, i'm greedy (PPS am i supposed to be anon rn idk if that's correct etiquette)) THANKS!

I jot the numbers down somewhere if I'm getting overwhelmed. You did great though! And no, there is no etiquette on how many to ask, don't worry. If there's a double I'll just send you to the other ask. More means I get to talk about fic more, which is great! :3

What was the first fandom and/or pairing that you wrote fic for?

Star Wars, Thrawn x OC. I was pretty sauced. I think I have some great moments in there, and I was free to create all the banter I wanted, etc. But it suffers a LOT from me being completely new to multi chapter work. I go into meandering tengeants and don't know when to stop on the world building. It had its fans and really dragged me into the whole fanfic universe though. Maybe one day I'll finish it, but I had no idea which way to go. I feel like I wrote myself in a corner, somewhat haha

5. What is the perfect environment for you to write in?

I don't mind loud spaces like cafes or pubs, so long as the music isn't obnoxious and I can hear my own. I just like places where nobody is going to come to me to interrupt me. Sadly I live and work in a backpacker hostel, meaning I have 50 odd housemates at any given time, without counting the 250 guests. I get interrupted a LOT. So right now, hidden in my bed or hunkering down at my fav cafe, would be my answer.

12. Is there a trope you haven’t written yet but really want to?

Yes! There's this Tarkin & Ahsoka fic I mentioned in this ask. It focuses on the amnesia trope. I really, really like to write sort of mind fucky things from character PoV. So Tarkin struggling with shattered memories and having to rebuild himself while trusting this total stranger… Hard. Especially when WE all know she's lying to him to try and use him for her side, because the rebellion just needs the help that badly. I do need to make better research on real amnesia before I apply scifi logic to it... And I need to not be hyperfixation on Quaritch's blue ass. His own trope scratches a similar itch, since he's a clone with implanted memories. So identity crisis as well...

18. What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

OK ok I have this entry from my Hannibal ficlets that focuses on a secret inside the "mind palace" Hannibal Lecter has. I've read all three relevant Hannibal books, watched the films, all TV series… And then I read the book Piranesi by Susanna Clarke. It's excellent and I recommend it. It focuses on a man living inside an enormous house that has three levels going in all directions, with clouds in the top level and a sea with rushing tides in the bottom. There are statues everywhere… And birds… And it's very WTF and it takes you a long time to understand what's going on. It's in this man's pov too which thickens the mystery.

I love the works of Piranesi. He's an italian architect and archaelogist who once got sick. 22 yo and delirious with fever, he sketched a series of 'infinite prisons' which you can see here!

So I'm writing this tiny daily ficlet, trying to stick as close to 200 words as I can, and I was folding myself into a piranesian pretzel trying to FIT THE DAMN EXPRESSION in. Making Hannibal's mind palace into a piranesian thing.

There is a corner of his mind always plagued by snow. It is a torturous journey there, through labyrinthine passages, down echoing stairwells and across bridges arcing over the piranesian landscape of his palace. It is easy to lose one's way, to be distracted by the vaulted ceilings of a chapel, the confines of well used hideouts, or the familiar outlines of his Baltimore office. But if he keeps walking, fingers brushing against all the door-frames of all the halls of his mind, eventually they alight on damp wood, cold and brittle. 

[he's off to visit his baby sister, who he keeps in there. He was forced to eat her by soldiers as a child, yeah it's dark]

23. If you had to remix one of your own fics, which would it be and how would you remix it?

I'm not super hung up on this idea. I write and move on. I have 151 works currently and I've been on ao3 for not even 3 years. So as you can imagine I have a tendency to create a new work rather than worry about remixing.

This being said I'd probably completely retool my very first fic, as per answer 1. I'd change the OC, shorten the plot by A LOT, get the action started sooner, completely drop a lot of worldbuilding… It's a slog, which can be very sweet in a fanfic when you're enjoying the slog content, but dear lord, it makes for awkward re-reading. I'd make the OC an alien instead of a human raised by aliens. Too much going on.

[sereniv]

hi! i saw one of your posts about native americans reconnecting, but i have a hard time understanding things so i thought i’d just ask you specific question:

So, i wanna reconnect to my native side, but i dont know if its disrespectful or not. Basically, i look really white and dont tan easily. I have some native features and all but they arent that noticeable.

now some backstory about my native side:

i know two or more of my relatives died on the trail of tears on my moms side that i know about. We have their information and stuff like that where it shows that they are native. then i have 2 more ancestors i know of who were my great great grandparents. they were native and i believe they lived in a reservation or tribe. I think my great great grandma died in like the late 1800’s. Then, their grandchild, whos my great grandma, you could tell she was really native by looking at her if that makes sense. she died in 2004.

my great uncle on my dad’s side also lives on a reservation too.

i know i have more native ancestors because the native ancestors i know of for sure, have like 5+ children or a bit less.

most of my native ancestors were like in the 1800’s to early 1900’s.

i know i belong to a few tribes, one of them being cherokee. My mom told me the other tribes but i forgot the names.

neither me or my parents grew up around the culture, but i want to learn more about my family and where i come from and be involved in the culture.

Would it be disrespectful if i called myself a native or reconnect?

sorry if this doesn’t make sense or if its too long i’ve just been wondering about this for a while

have a good day <3

Wow this is a lot!

ok so

Firstly, though i get what you are meaning, there is no one way to look native. But i assume you mean looking sterotypically native, but again that doesnt hold up to mean much in terms of you being native

Secondly, when it comes to reconnecting (and calling yourself native) you should ask yourself why its important.

For me, i had always struggled with identity especially on forms, though not as native. I was told i was native but it was unclear because no one would talk about it.

Then i connected with a cousin and learned some info and found out i have Yaqui heritage and it felt like a piece of the puzzle. But that created a new emptyness that needed a piece and i still have that, and thats the actual reconnecting

Reconnecting looks a lot of ways, but the biggest thing is community. what are you doing for the community either within your tribes or indian country as a whole

this can mean learning your language (what im doing), learning your history (i am slowly). getting involved which can mean many things from donating to participating

but it shouldnt be a preformance. you should still be you. finding out youre native or reconnecting doesnt mean suddenly you are now more spiritual or that you have to look or be some certain way

Reconnecting is catching up on what you didnt grow up on. its going slow. its understanding your place in the community

now everyone is different, but for me i dont think ill ever feel Native like i belong. ill always feel like an outside ill always doubt myself.

But ive tried ignoring it and "just being white" like ive tried in the past and it always feels like a lie. but it would also feel like a lie if i didnt include being white (italian), because i am white. but i am also native.

Recognizing your privileges as someone who looks white and (if like me) grew up white is important.

But also internalizing that being White isnt bad. Which sounds silly, but a lot of mixed people nd people reconnecting tend to see their white side as tarnishing. as bad or boring

White as a race doesnt exist. Race doesnt exist BUT it exists in our society, therefor its still an important distinction in conversations

For example. White privilege, not Italian privilege But Italian heritage and ancestry, not white heritage and ancestry

What i always tell people is before focusing on claiming native, is to first claim your white side. Because every "white" culture (maybe except british idk lol) has its own music, language, history, food, traditions and customs, etc.

For me im big on family and ancestry, to imagine the people and their lives who came before me. I like thinking about it

So being italian i feel pride, not because i grew up italian culture, but because that is my history. i was always told i was italian growing up. that is part of me. same as being scottish/irish. it all is a story and im interested in that story

But i always knew more about being italian and scottish/irish, rather than Mexican/hispanic/native. and thats because my dad wasnt in my life which is why it was a big part of me that felt empty

Now you dont have to have struggled with identity or anything like that

but you have to have a reason. And the thing is, is you can even NOT claim native. You can say you have native heritage, you can learn you can do everything youd do if you claimed it, but recognize that You as a person just arent native your history is, but maybe you just cant feel that connection

and thats fine. But hold out on claiming native until you can tell whether or not you Are. And that is different for everyone.

But recognizing your history and heritage is a great way of connecting without Being. its hard to explain

The reason why i claim and not just recognize is out of anger at assimilation in the family. native and italian. out of the feeling of loss, never have grown up with any of it because of assimilation

I have family who is enrolled, i have family who speaks italian. and im bitter because i always felt ..something about that even though i could never put it into words. and still cant really

So ask yourself why claiming native is important. what does being native mean to you? for me it feels like defiance and it feels like embodiment and it feels like reconnecting (though because of disability i cant do even half of what i would like, but i do my best)

I feel so much anger and sadness and longing and in a way worse than i was before i learned more about my heritage. i feel even more broken in pieces especially when i cant participate because no one records anything and i cant make zoom calls because im always too tired

or when theres memes and i dont get them, italian or mexican or native or yaqui

and this is common ive found for mixed and people who are reconnecting

its a commitment. that you can go back on i guess

but for me thats not an option even if i wanted to because i would again, feel like im lying

First thing you want to do is sit on it, think about what is important, connect with your other sides be interested in that

ask yourself what this all means and address your initial feelings

and remember that you can recognize your history, your heritage, without claiming it.

which can sound confusing. but it feels different. you refer to it differently. You are an ally, rather than being.

i feel like im in the middle, the line always moving. back and forth but always in the middle

And ive seen people ive talked to, realize that they dont connect to being native. That acknowledging their history, and even being involved while not claiming feels right. that claiming never had heft to it. it was empty words

but acknowledging can feel just as meaningful as claiming could feel. full, and meaningful and like a piece to your puzzle

So really introspect, think about it, get involved

and for other people's sake, only claim if you Are. because its not like a Queer identity where you can try it on

it can hurt people if you just try it on.

And i know for me it felt like i had to make up for lost time right away. but i realized that i have time. it shouldn't feel like making up for lost time. you accept that the past happened. and thats it

talk to people, learn your language, your history, know where you are in a conversation by sticking to what youve experienced and letting others talk when its something you havnt experienced

and just be in the present. there is no rush, there is no alarm. And it can feel that way, like you have to cram everything in.

But when you claim native it should be because you Are native. And that means you have always been

because native isnt just one thing. and it is also not blood quantum

and it also isnt just 'a feeling' (like, in a sterotype way)

Its really hard to explain but basically, slow down. you have all the time in the world to figure these things out. your heritage and history arent going anywhere.

when i talked to my cousin, i felt waves of emotion all kinds, and it felt like i had to rush. almost like before this information floated away i had to catch it

and it was anxiety inducing, i guess thats what it was, anxiety

but now i feel more normal. still have issues lol, but i feel i can relax more and know that i have all the time in the world to reconnect. even if that means learning a new word a month if thats the best i can do.

i could go on but i think this is long enough sorry i tend to type a lot 😅

sorry if i didnt answer everything, you can re-ask and clarify if you want

edit: also idk if i put this already but you should look into your tribe and contact them or family members like cousins and actually like confirm that you have history with that tribe thats where you start when reconnecting

it can get complicated if you can't figure it out and it doesnt mean you aren't native but cross that bridge when you come to it.

and this is just one story, one feeling, one opinion

i recommend going to reddit in the the mixed subreddit or native american (theres no real sub for mixed natives so you can try both) and asking your question you asked me to get a more well rounded view

[mari--lace]

thank you for the tag @novasforce

Number of stories posted to AO3:

17

2. Word count this year:

38568 (on Ao3. It doesn't account for what I only published on an italian fanfiction site [which doesn't have a word count like Ao3])

3. Fandoms I wrote for:

taking the list from AO3:

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Black Widow

Daredevil (TV)

Harry Potter

Hawkeye (comics/TV)

The Mirror Visitor

Miraculous Ladybug

Moon Knight (TV)

Ms Marvel (comics/TV)

She-Hulk: Attorney at law

Spider-Man (MCU)

The Avengers

4. Pairings:

I mostly wrote gen relationships this year, but here are the pairings:

Matt Murdock/Jennifer Walters

Matt Murdock/Claire Temple

Matt Murdock/Natasha Romanov

Clint Barton/Laura Barton

Michelle Jones/Peter Parker

Draco Malfoy/Luna Lovegood

Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng (MLB)

Adrien Agreste/Marinette Dupain-Cheng (MLB)

5. Stories with the most:

Kudos: What am I looking at, Matt? — published right after She-Hulk ep 8 and the hype for the episode did the rest, my most popular story ever :")

Bookmarks: same as above!

Comment threads: A marvelous october, which has 31 chapters. The fic with more comment threads on a single chapter would be the same as above!

Word count: Same as above with its 31 chapters. As a writer, most of my stories are pretty short; my longest one-chapter story on Ao3 (for 2022 at least) would be Sorelle dal sangue diverso, a one-shot in Italian.

6. Work I'm most proud of (and why):

What's in a soul? I'm really proud of how this turned out. It has Natasha coming back without her memories when Bruce snaps his fingers and it delves on the bond between memoried and identity. Is she still Natasha? Is she not? She meets Matt along the way.

7. Work I'm least proud of (and why): maybe a short hogwarts!au I wrote in italian for a challenge. I'm not super satisfied with the final result (mostly because it doesn't really go anywhere), but it was one of the first things I wrote for the Daredevil fandom, so there's that.

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

"oh my goshhhh this is so poetic and beautiful. "Would you like to tell me why?" MY HEART.

Also, Nat saying she “Swapped it for an orange rock.” made me smile. A very Nat thing to say. (And she says she's not still Nat!)"

"oh wow, this is so good, and so poignant? in a way. how you portrayed Nat’s identity issues and struggling to be someone you’re not, someone everyone expects you to be, felt so real. this fic was so lovely. thank you so much for writing! <3"

Both those two comments made me smile so much 🥹

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: Pretty much all the first part of the year, from January to September. I wrote next to nothing then.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: Maybe that I actually wrote about Clint and Laura. Also Jennifer Walters, I wasn't expecting it but I found writing from her pov pretty easy and kinda fun.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing: from What's in a soul?:

“I'm the ghost of a sister. I'm the ghost of a friend. I'm the ghost of a killer and a hero.” She pauses. Her heartbeat slows back to its usual steady rhythm. “I'm a shadow who is more comfortable talking and fighting with a vigilante than surrounded by people who say they love her.”

12: How did you grow as a writer this year: I wrote a lot directly in English, which is something I didn't really do before (I've translated a few stories in the past, but translating and writing are pretty different processes).

13. How do you hope to grow next year: I hope to keep writing, first of all, in both English and Italian. I hope to improve and to be able to write meaningful stories.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): I can't not mention @ceterisparibus116. I read pretty much every Daredevil story on her profile and I fell in love with everything – the themes, the characterizations, the plots. So good aaaaaaaaaaaa

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: there's always something from my experiences in my writing, usually in a not very explicit way, but yeah.

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: Don't write to cater to an audience; write to cater to yourself. If you love what you do, readers can see that love, and they'll believe in it, too. <- I'm keeping @novasforce's advise because it's really good! And I completely agree. Write what you like first and foremost, without worrying about how many people might or might not read and appreciate it.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: I am working on something for the DDE, so there's that. I'm also joining a challenge to write a story a month according to certain themes, so I hope to be able to fulfill that too (last year I only got 7 months/12).

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read:

Just, anyone who wants to do this feel free to! Plus @reginadiutopia @drogatadiapifrizzole @folkloristico