#it's..... yeah it's literally just projection

[demaparbat-hp]

Want to know what I believe? It's right here

Dig a little deeper and it's crystal clear

.

(WIP)

[biologistofthedepths]

tags from @quaranmine:

#UGH NOT ANOTHER RECALL FOR ME TO LOOK AT #also if you ever want me to rant about budgets. i am here #i literally think like half of our government's dysfunction can be traced back to the fiscal year #like guys. guys. the last time congress passed an on-time budget was 1996. 1996!!! #every year since 1996 there has either been a stopgap funding bill (continuing resolution) or a government shutdown #let me tell you something: govt agencies do NOT like to do things on an uncertain budget #the FY24 budget wasnt passed until like 6 months late. #many govt offices didnt receive funding until like...may of 2024. for a fiscal year that started oct 2023. #do you know how much that messes up projects? #there is operational funding during the stop gap time ofc but management dislikes green-lighting things without a final budget #so yeah you've got operational money during the continuing resolution. everybody's being paid. #but if you don't know how much money total you have it's a little hard to confidently fund projects or travel or whatever #because what if you spent too much and the budget is short? #(note: the forest service recently cut all seasonal non-fire positions for 2025 due to anticipated funding shortfalls) #also a ton of govt agencies failures are just like. because congress didnt fund a program enough or defunded it completey #or the majority conservative supreme court took away powers..... #anyway. obviously this is not the ONLY problem with the govt lmao there are so many #but i do think that the general public REALLY doesnt understand enough about how much the congressional budgets screw things up #like that's just one of many things. but it's something i rarely see brought up in discussion like it was on this post

[royalarchivist]

Fit: It was a lot of fun being at the event on Friday, it was a lot of fun. You know, I'm very grateful for the Arkanis team for having Bad and I.

Fit: Although admittedly, it was kind of an annoying weekend in some ways, because I guess – I heard about this – apparently when Bad and I were doing our improv bit or whatever, a couple people on Twitter thought that it was like a jab at Quackity, which is insane to me because it was like... not related to his situation at all. And like, normally you ignore that kind of stuff, but it literally got so bad that I had to talk to Quackity this weekend, you know, and we– I actually just had to let him know, "Hey, just so you're aware, a couple people on Twitter think that this is a jab at you, but it's not" and he fully understood and whatever, but like... You know, I'm saying like, he's getting ready for his big announcement, like, that's like the last thing he should have to worry about, you know? Typical Twitter moment, they just take something out of context and they just run with it. But you know, it's all good, I'm very excited for his new project.

Fit: You know, Quackity is one of those people– he's one of the– He is one of the kindest, most genuine streamers that like, I've ever been in contact with. Like, after the Florida hurricanes where we had back to back hurricanes, he was one of the first creators to actually reach out to make sure that I was ok. Like, he's just one of the most kind, genuine people. So for people to think that like, we would be feuding is insane! You know what I'm saying? Like, people, they make up these conflicts in their heads, it's crazy.

Fit: So that was annoying, but yeah, it's all good. We all love each other. There's no bad blood or anything like that.

[aeonmnei]

even more filipino haji

imagine him holding your baby cousins or nieces and nephews and they all call him kuya hajime…yeah…that’s good shit

always blesses

will dance cariñosa and sayaw sa bangko with you even if he’s bad at it (super excited on the inside. will have a heart attack every other second though…are his hands sweaty? is he smiling too much? is he not smiling enough? did he lift you too strongly? what if you fall off the bench?)

(he was worried about the wrong person falling off the bench. while he was thinking about this, he missed his footing and fell on his butt.) (he’s fine)

you’ll see him in his pambahay one way or another. ratty ass t-shirt or sando with basketball shorts and tsinelas that he flips up from his foot to catch and point at tooru for dramatics

legs of steel. definitely has those calves and thighs…sigh 💞

doesn’t really like eating whole fish…he likes the fish, don’t get him wrong, it’s just the process of removing the meat from the bone and all. but if you don’t know how to/like taking the meat off the bone, he’ll do it for you. likes the crunchies so if you like the belly or head meat you guys are perfect

before a party, the two of you are probably in a corner of the kitchen rolling lumpia and/or turon. he’s really good at folding the rice paper

walis warrior! if you don’t like sweeping, he’s the man for you

he DEFINITELY smells like katinko in the summer. barely has to put it on cuz he rarely gets bitten but never likes the feeling of even one itchy bite. drown that hoe in menthol!!

awkward pictures alllll the time. he can walk near a sign that says california or something and his mom will make him stand and smile in front of it

his mom also told her friends hajime plays volleyball and then told him to play volleyball for them. “mom it’s not– huh?? i can’t play FOR them, it’s not performative!”

it might be a little annoying sometimes when he comes off as unnecessarily mean or overprotective when he tells you (in a harsh voice) to move away from the road or lock your car doors but he just cares and doesn’t know how to show it

hajime in a barong. that’s it

heyyy @mercuriians enjoy 💪😼

[joejhang]

my aftg hot takes

most of these are pretty lukewarm but i'm gonna get flamed for them anyway but whatever. spoilers ??? ahead ??? idk read at ur own risk

i don't think andreil ever say i love you to each other; i feel like the discourse about this is virtually endless ever since nora said it but honestly her explanation was so valid??? they're such a show not tell couple it just makes so much sense for them to show the "i love you" in their actions than ever saying the words out loud. esp bc neither of them have ever really heard those words and have them mean anything real or true or actually loving. personally i think their little percentages and the "i hate you"'s and kisses and keys mean more to them than an "i love you" ever could. i'm not a purist on this tho i do think i could visualise it happening maybe somewhere along the road i just think nora's explanation for this is very very in line with canon andreil.

i don't hate thea muldani; i've made a post abt this but basically my thoughts around her are literally just: she's a human being, and she's never gonna be perfect. i also find it very...interesting how the fandom likes to flame thea (an explicitly stated woman of colour) for being "problematic" and a "terrible person/character" when she doesn't act all that different from andrew, neil and kevin (white men) ??? idk it seems a little strange to me bc she seems pretty on par with them on whatever moral compass this batshit crazy fandom has decided to impose on these fictional and very much morally ambiguous characters. anyway go check out my post i go a lot deeper into thea's character and why she does a lot of things wrong but i don't rlly think she's deserving of the insane amounts of hate she gets in the fandom.

i don't think andreil ever get married; this MIGHT be me projecting bc the idea of marriage is just a very complicated and rough concept in my mind but also just i feel like there's something so beautiful about andreil never really putting a label on their relationship??? like they never define it by calling the other their "boyfriend" or "husband" they just are. they have nothing "concrete" binding them like a marriage certificate but they choose to stay with each other through everything. idk it's real to me but again i'm not a purist people can do whatever they want.

i've said it before but i'll keep saying it till enough people hear me: the aftg fandom mischaracterises literally the main fucking characters; i'm mostly talking about andrew and ESPECIALLY neil here bc neil is not a sweet, sunshiney, oblivious, blushy softboy and andrew is not a cold, unemotional, stoic, "conceal don't feel" stone. since i've already bitched on and on about neil's mischaracterisation let's just talk about andrew for a sec. i think andrew is actually a deeply emotional person and is fully aware of the feelings he experiences. does he vocalise or express them often? no but more often than not they show themselves anyway. him crashing out after neil was kidnapped, letting himself get walked like a dog by neil for three books straight, choking allison for slapping aaron, idk i could go on. but yeah you get it.

i don't actually think neil is that oblivious; before people come at me like "but nora said!" or whatever yeah, i know she said he's as dense as a brick when it comes to people flirting with him. considering how much of the ec the aftg fandom likes to disregard allow me to disregard this little bit of it, yeah? this isn't me tryna impose my own projections onto nora's characters, this is lit just me tryna explain how i understand neil josten (he's my bsf btw). he literally clocks his feelings for andrew in trk (after his deep convo™ with nicky) but he just files it away for later bc he doesn't consider attraction or romantic interest anything to be thinking about considering he's got the mafia and his serial killer dad on his tail. i also don't really blame him for not catching onto andrew's feelings earlier (tho doesn't he get pretty fucking close during that one convo they have in exites in trk???? someone correct me if i'm wrong but) bc dude andrew was out here sending fucking mixed ass signals like bro was saying "you are a pipe dream" and "i hate you" in the same fucking conversations like??? neil has always taken andrew at face value and he's not about to question him now. he's also never confused or uncertain about nicky or marissa and what their comments about him meant, he just genuinely does not gaf about them so he doesn't acknowledge them or pay them any attention in his narration. i truly truly think his dismissal of all the advances made upon him in aftg were borne out of indifference, not obliviousness.

have already said this in detail but i don't think andrew's actually a misogynist; the wording doesn't feel right. i'd probably describe andrew's distrust of women (esp. those in motherly/mother roles) as a similar ingrained wariness that neil has for older men. this is something borne out of trauma and shitty experiences that takes time and trust to unlearn. nora says a lot of things the fandom disregards and for me, this is one of those things i'm a little iffy about. misogyny actually isn't reflected in andrew's actions at all, i'd say. does he respect women? no. but he doesn't respect anyone unless they've actually earned it. and among the people he does respect and care for there are women (renee, bee). he doesn't treat women any differently and obv doesn't think they're any weaker than men are (considering renee wipes the floor w him their first sparring sesh). andrew's an equal opportunity hater and i don't think he actually has any sexist or even misogynistic tendencies. i think what is there is just a slightly biased worldview of disliking/mistrusting mother figures, given his bad experiences w tilda and cass (they've left him w more long-term emotional damage that's probably rlly difficult and complicated for him to work through esp considering cass did love??? him and he did want her enough to be willing to suffer dr*ke to be close to her; there's more to it but for the sake of word count i won't go into it) but honestly it doesn't actually show that much??? if people wanna say he hates women, sure, but for one, he doesn't hate a lot of things he's just very indifferent to them and two, he holds a pretty similar apathetic distaste for most people and things, so it's not like a very big distinction. i also think the whole "no girls" thing w aaron was very much a personal thing, and his mistrust of katelyn probably came from aaron's past (apparently negative) experiences w other girlfriends and friendships in general. and if i remember correctly the deal wasn't even "no girls" it was just "family only" which is why aaron didn't make friends w the rest of the foxes either. i digress but i don't think saying "andrew isn't a misogynist" is robbing him of any nuance as a character.

i like nicky and honestly feel similarly towards him as i do about thea; he isn't perfect and never will be and i think while the way he acts towards neil and others (see: matt, kevin) is pretty untoward and inappropriate, i also do see where he's coming from, esp after aaron's explanation of it. that it's a defence mechanism coming from someone who's experienced a lot of prejudice and harm because of his sexuality. obv i think everyone can agree his assault on neil was fucked up but i think nora was right in saying that nicky was high and drunk and not rlly in his right mind at the time, and he does apologise and i'm pretty sure she also said he and neil work it out privately anyway. he's a messy character and definitely not perfect queer rep but again, he's pretty realistic, and i think he's honestly a rlly well-written and complex character.

[lorensonebraincell]

AIGHT YA GIRLIE HAS PULLED UP TO THE PARTY 🏍️💨 MOODBOARDS ARE EATING CONCEPTS ARE EATING THE FEW BULLETPOINTS I'VE SEEN IN PASSING ARE EATING I AM SAT AND READY

joong being a natural leader and having a certain way of pulling people's attention is so true like he may be shawty in blue or twink in pink but damn is he MADE to be the centre

(not me having to look up the meaning of philanthropist LOL)

AHHH YES READER DELULU FOR HONGJOONG 2.0 WILL THEY PLAY EACH OTHER AGAIN THIS TIME

as helpless as sheeps in a herd (wait also sheeps? sheep?? HAHAHA) honestly same for hongjoong i will be a sheep blindly following him off the edge of the cliff 😻☝️

heh hongjoong getting a thrill out of playing the leader DOM VIBES ???? he can be my leader RAHHHHH 👹👹👹👹👹

OH WOW IN THE FORM OF LOVEMAKING DID I JUST MANIFEST SOMETHING THE TRAILING OF HIS FINGER IS SUDDENLY SO SPICY OOH LA LA

i too would willingly put a blindfold over my eyes for him 😎👩‍🦯

OH WOAH WOAH WOAH HELLO??? YOU DID NAWT TELL ME YOU WERE WRITING SMUT ASKFLJHDSKGLJSDG GORLIE YOU SPICY OMG SITTING ON HIS LAP RAHHHHHHH

oof exploiting people now for the greater good of the nation it's so morally grey and literally how politics operates (LOL AND THE FACT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT HOW POLITICS IS YOUR TRADEMARK BC IT ALWAYS SOMEHOW GETS INCORPORATED IN YOUR FICS)

OOF CAN'T VS WON'T LEAVE YOU

AGAIN MOODBOARDS EATING EVEN THOUGH I'VE ALREADY SEEN THEM

THESIS SUPERVISOR ADKFLJSDHGKLSJG PROJECTING REAL LIFE EXPERIENCES INTO YOUR FIC ASKLJFHDSKJHGFS

you've always had a different air about you ✨you're not like other girls✨

okay but like girlie i get it BEING THAT CLOSE UP TO HWA AND BRUSHING HIS HAIR OUT OF HIS EYES i'd be an absolute goner too like i'm in the process of eating all the scissors in the world

omg please gentle and composed hwa but also clumsy and rough at times tHAT IS LITERALLY HIM HE'S JUST A BABY 🥹🫶

ohohohohohohohoh hwa ohohohohohohohohohohoh brushing against each other hohohohohoohohohohoh how unprofessional hohohohohohohohohoh okay now my turn

YEAH WHO WOULDN'T LIKE THE ATTENTION HWA GIVES THEM LIKE ONE LOOK FROM HIM AND MY PROBLEMS WOULD BE SOLVED THE CROPS WOULD BE WATERED THERE WOULD BE WORLD PEACE

ASFJKLHSDGLSDHG LICK HIS THUMB AND RUB YOUR SKIN STOP I'M NOT OKAY RN THE IMAGE THAT I JUST CONJURED IN MY MIND DFKJDSHGKSGHJ THE AUDACITY YUMI

WOAH WOAH WOAH EVEN HWA IS DOING THE SPICY WITH YOU WOAH YUMI YOU DID N A W T TELL ME ABOUT THIS DO ALL THE BOYS DO THE SPICY ??? WHO ARE YOU

omg can i just say i love the last line thing you're doing with all the fics summing up their villain roles and their relo with the reader very demure very mindful very cutesy 💅

god can you imagine going on a blind date and meeting YUNHO like mum dad i am ready to be wed and married to this fine gentleman tyvm i would like our banquet to be held tomorrow :D

CORPORATE LAWYER YUNHO RAHHHH HE'S SO HOT i would commit a crime just so i can see him in court heehee 🤭

UM SCHOOL TEACHER WHO WORKS WITH CHILDREN THAT IS CLOSE ENOUGH THAT'S BASICALLY ME YUNHO IS MY HUBBY CONFIRMED 🤗

you also like how tall he is and how his hand engulfs yours almost entirely my size kink go brrrr real hard and also sometimes i like to take out my ruler bc i remember his hands are like 21cm and i imagine just how big his hands are in comparison to mine for my daily dose of delulu

SITTING IN HIS LAP WHILE HE GAMES ADLFDJSGK AND HIM BEING SO MUCH BIGGER THAN YOU YOU CAN CURL ON TOP OF HIM STOPPPPPP I CANT TAKE THIS MY SIZE KINK IS ACTUALLY GOING BRRRRRRR OFF THE CHARTS RN ISTG YOU'RE DOING THIS ON PURPOSE

okay that's so cute though like ik yun is a bad guy but him doing bad things whilst wearing the hoodie with your lil embroidered sunflowers is so cute HAHAHAHA honestly red flags are that red, really, like i'll take him <33

HEHEHE I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN BY GUERRILLA 2.0 BC THIS CONFRONTATION IS GIVING FLASHBACKS OF READER DISCOVERING WHAT YUNHO DOES HOHOHOH

aww you bring out all the good in him 🥹 listen yunho if you're my bb i'll let you bring out all the bad in me >:DDD

YOU EVEN WITH SUN ARE LIKE THE SUN DAMN OKAY i was wondering how you were going to use this pair of quotes and when and WOW OKAY POP OFF

yeo's moodboard needs its own art exhibition

okay but why is it so fitting that yeo is this mad scientist like i can totally see him and his meticulously organised jars with body parts

AH YES THE DARK MORALS BEHIND MEDICINE EXPLORED AGAIN it's so twisted to do bad for good but damn does it hit every single time

ooooooooh reader this time being JUST as evil that's kinda badass that she can open up bodies like a pro sashimi chef

the characterisation in this one you popped off like yeo with pity in his voice bc he genuinely believes what he's doing is for the greater good and advancement in meds oof this hitting

what a good man to make his test subjects die quickly and painlessly LMAO we stan a man who cares 😍😍😍

yooo yeosang being the opposite of hwa. clumsy to others but in reality poised and delicately precise

CHICKEN CAMEO HAHAHAHA I SWEAR THAT HAS TO COME HAND IN HAND WITH ANY YEO FIC

omg ngl i thought there was going to be a twist and you were going to make the new test subject like one of the members or someone who we'd be like NOOO PLEASE NOOO

RAHHHH SAN IS ALREADY SO DADDY RAHHH PE TEACHER AND COACH OMG RAHHHHHHH ASFKJDSLKG ARF ARF ARAF RWOOF OWOWFOOF ARWOOGOA AJFDSLKG WFRAFDDRAWRF

choi san works harder at night doing what ;) ;) ;)

omg i love this trope like ofc san would be a villain who does what he does to deal justice to those who didn't receive it OFC HE WOULD STILL BE A GREEN FLAG AS RED FLAG AS HE IS

WOO CAMEO he's everywhere in everyone's au's LOL

you can't smile your way out of this HAHAHAHA OFC SAN WOULD BE THE TYPE TO DO THAT THAT AIN'T EXECUTIONER!SAN THAT'S LITERALLY JUST CHOI SAN AND THEN THE baby HE TRIES TO PULL ADFKJDSGHSG YES OKAY WHATEVER YOU SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT 🧎‍♀️

woosanreader dream team fr like yes go uphold justice ✊✊✊

OOOFFF WAITTT THAT'S DIFFERENT NO KILLING ONLY MAIMING AND RELATED TO THEIR EVIL I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK BABES

from being the stalker to becoming the stalked hohhooh retribution is coming for you my dude

who are you IT'S JUST ME MYSELF AND I 🎤

oof tell me why mingi dipping his brush in onyx ink gave me prince/royal mingi vibes and now i'm craving royal mingi fics

HUEHUHEUEHE mingi being a big baddie but letting you get away with interrupting him for TEA TIME

(okay sorry i know he's supposed to be a big baddie but him painting i can only imagine how dorky the painting would look like irl AHAHAHHA)

OOOH YES IT'S COMING BACK TO ME GIRLIE DELIVERING CHICKEN AND THEN BEING TAKEN IN BY MINGI RAHH

SONG'S GIRL SONG'S GIRL SONG'S GIRL AHHHHH LEMME PRETEND THIS MEAN HE'S HAD HIS EYE ON YOU FOR A WHILE AND HE YAPS ABOUT YOU WHY'S THAT REALLY CUTE I THINK I LIKE THE COLOUR RED

teach your girl some manners YEAH I'M HIS GIRL HEHEHEHE

why does morally black mingi with morally white girlie hit so hard and you being his solace <333 HE'S JUST A BIG SOFTIE PLS

HAH i meant your colour of choice Y E AH oKAY Y Y Y yY BIG GUY YOU KEEP PRETENDING YOU'RE NOT SIMPIN PFFTTTT

awwww omgGGG STOPP the last splash of yellow on his canvas 🥹 mans letting someone pick a colour to go on his painting that's a love language fr fr

WOOYO BEING THE PRIVILEGED POS IS SO HIM AHHAHAHHA OFC HE'D BE THE SNOBBY SON OF THE RICHEST BUSINESSMAN LMAOOO

he just wants your attention 🤪

omg and ofc he's the type to play with fire and literally set a mansion on fire

no bc why is it so perfect that your relo and dynamic with him is literally just riling each other up (him you more than you him) like he is just MADE to rile others up but still have them be fond of him the LIL BRAT <3

WOAH WOAH UNBUCKLING THE BELT OF YOUR PANTS WOAH WOAH SLOW DOWN WOOYO HOLD YOUR HORSES BUDDY what is with you writing enemies to lovers for woo and including smut in the fray HAHAHAHAH

all for me YES 🤲 TAKE IT ALL 😍

AHAHAHAH OFC WOOYO WOULD BE ABLE TO SWEET TALK AND TURN THE TABLES OVER THE PHONE the main was born to be a yapper and he's a damn convincing one at that

LAST ONE LESGO MONSTER OF CAPITALISM I AM READY

OMG DID YOU END UP DOING RIVAL CEO READER OHOHOHOHOH

looking like he just won the lottery at the sight of you ooOHHhHHhhh jongho i can just imagine the cocky smirk on his face

how the tables have turned i bet you had to read it and make sure you used it properly after the number of times we've changed it around LOL

AHAHAHAH i love jongho with all of his financial crimes wooyo would get an absolute KICK out of this

the others using sweetheart as a nickname is already (#*$&@#* but /jongho/ using sweetheart RAHHH I NEED HIM TO SAY IT WITH HIS COCKY SMIRKY VOICE

awwww jongho being a lowkey softie for you and telling you that you shouldn't be atoning for other people's sins aND TELLING YOU YOU'RE STRONG BUT THEN ALSO SIMULTANEOUSLY BEING LIKE IF YOU'RE EVER TIRED YOU GOT ME BABES LEAN ON ME LIKE IF THAT AIN'T A GREEN FLAG THEN IDK WHAT IT IS (i am colourblind to red)

ahhhh look i defs do not have the brains to work out that it is all part of the plan to trick me instead but hey if it's jongho i'm willing to let myself be tricked 😻

HOHOHOHOH BABES YOU DID SO WELL WITH THIS AS ALWAYS and you ate with all the concepts and different plots and they all fit the members so well. i'm so proud of you for finishing this and i know how hard it was to push through but look at you :')) made it to the end with your last fic of 2024 :'))) not me feeling sentimental when this whole time we've both been like YEAH LET'S TAKE A BREAK YEEAHHHH NO WRITING YEAHHHH :'))

but honestly this is a break well deserved <3 you've worked so hard to pump out fics over the last few years so ENJOY THIS BREAK AND YOUR DRAMA BINGING <333

Ateez as Villains

disclaimer: read at your own risk. do not interact if not comfortable with any tropes. reminder that this is a work of fiction and must be treated so. 

warnings: absolutely no morals here, 18+ mdni, illegal acts (abduction, murder, physical abuse, stalking, trafficking, financial crimes, dirty politics, corruption), suggestive/nsfw scenes, explicit language (swearing, insults), death, violence, blood & injuries, weapons, smoking, drugs, alcohol

a/n: couldn't have done this without @eightmakesonebraincell's and @chronicvagabonds' validation lmao also tribute to tite kubo for coming up with the juiciest dialogues, some of which i quoted here

Hongjoong

The Manipulator

hongjoong always knew he had leadership skills

from being the team leader whenever he played games as a young child, to growing up and eventually influencing people

he was often told that he has a certain way of pulling people’s attention and leave something stirring inside them with his words

so it is no surprise that hongjoong is where he is today. a renowned businessman, philanthropist and… politician

hongjoong adjusts the sleeves of his shirt and glances at you from the mirror

you are standing behind him, holding his coat for him. he wears it with a proud smile and holds his chin high

“tonight is very important. for me. for this country.” 

he goes on about how there will be people from all over the country

people who are the foundation of this nation. people who care about the future of this world 

and if you weren’t so blinded by the adoration you have for this man you would have called him delusional

but the fact is that you are deluded by him. hongjoong has the ability to cast a spell with his words

he feeds his supporters the lie of a better world in the near future, and they bow to him

hongjoong smiles devilishly at the thought of what entails the events of tonight

he can picture it clearly- the cheers and desperate screams of his followers as he steps on the podium

the cries of these people, as helpless as sheeps in a herd, waiting for an upright politician to save this nation 

he can feel the thrill just imagining what it will be like tonight when he addresses the nation as the new face of his political party

to a common person, he would just be another man with a good heart striving for a better change

but the common person is weak, and for them… he is their salvation

they will hear his words tonight- words he has carefully crafted himself. the cues will register in their minds, and they will end up seeking him to announce their undying support and loyalty, to shower in his glory

you straighten hongjoong’s coat and smooth over his shirt, your hands unsteady with anticipation

“aren’t you happy to be right next to me when i conquer the stage tonight?” he whispers, lifting your chin up

you meet his eyes and he can see his answer there

you hope he doesn’t see the conflict in your eyes. the conflict is to be concealed in your heart, in the deepest, untouchable corner of it

you are blessed, they tell you, to be the politician’s favoured

and you are- you truly are. hongjoong loves you. he adores you

in fact… he’s almost obsessed with you

and why wouldn’t he be? you were the one who led him here

you were the one who held his hand and showed him the right path- his partner, and now his secretary

oh, how you sometimes wish you could turn back the hands of the clock and go back to when hongjoong was hopeless and thought that the world was a wretched place beyond saving

that is when you told him that the only way to run this world was to join hands with the elites of this nation- or to become one

it must be the fates that led him to where he is today

after all, isn’t he a king without a crown? a ruler without a throne?

he is a born leader and a strategist. he has always been good with his words

it’s how he earned the favour and graces of the elites and the politicians and made a place for himself- not under them, but beside them

but to stand beside those people, you have to be a little… corrupt. and morally ambiguous

the world is not run by saints, after all

“sweetheart?” he calls when he sees you are distracted

you don’t miss the warning tone in his voice. tonight, you have to be on your toes

you have to seek out willing supporters and show them that they mean the world to hongjoong and his political party

but more importantly… you need to target other politicians, find their weaknesses and if lucky, have some join hands with you

“i’m here,” you tell him and he nods firmly, pressing a kiss to your temple

“i will see you tonight,” he promises, and you know what he means

he always gets such a thrill out of playing the leader

he gets so much energy, and he has to take it out one way or another

and what better way to take it out in the form of lovemaking?

you feel warmth course through your body as he trails his finger down the middle of your chest purposely

he almost smiles maniacally as he leaves first, giving you a moment to gather your wits

you pour yourself a glass of drink- you can’t possibly do this sober

you join hongjoong as he gives his first speech- a very normal talk about how this nation is on the verge of collapse

corruption, crime, inhumanity, dirty politics? you name it

you admire his resilience, really. whatever he is talking about comes straight from his heart, and he has been talking about these issues for a long time now

you also admire his pompousness and the audacity to talk about dirty politics, when he is the face of dirty politics

you join the audience when they clap for him, your heart full of pride

there is a break where he meets with the high-profile people and asks them to consider joining hands with him

‘to make a better world for the future generations’. such inspiring words from such a young political leader

except hongjoong’s trick is that he always, always has something over them

he has a team dedicated specifically for this task- to dig dirt on his political targets so he can wield them like the blade of a guillotine over their heads

despite his evil means to climb the top, somehow, his image and reputation remains far too clean

and that is because he knows to take these actions behind the scenes, away from any eyes

a true politician, he’s been dubbed

it is about midnight when the hall almost empties, leaving only the members of your party and some new faces- people who are willing to hear him out and decide if they want to join his party

you wish you could tell them that it is a trap- hongjoong will promise that their efforts and support will lead them to something great

‘the greater good’, he always says, except these people do not know what they are getting into

they are merely sacrificial lambs, the stepping stones that will lead hongjoong closer to his utopia

they will, for the sake of loyalty, put a blindfold over their eyes. they will hold him in high reverence as he becomes their lord, their saviour

he will feed them copper pellets and claim that this is the best that they can get while he himself sits on a throne made of gold

and when they empty every last drop of whatever they have to offer- their blood, sweat and tears

hongjoong will discard them without remorse. that is who he is- a master manipulator

when you are done wrapping up the event in the deep, dark hours of the night, hongjoong finds you in your bedroom

his chest is heaving with energy that is threatening to combust from within him

he outstretches his hand and you saunter over to him

his hands are dominating when he holds you, though his kiss is soft and unrushed

until that too becomes scalding hot

he is quick to lead you to the couch where you sit on his lap, finding him painfully hard

he groans loudly and starts to unbuckle his pants, and you instantly know what he wants- you always know what he wants

he easily slides his hard length inside your warmth and groans heavily in relief, resting his head back and just letting you both stay still

you only move to rest your head against his shoulder. he can have you like this for as long as he wants

“we have a lot of new supporters tonight,” he begins, chuckling deeply, “the polls seem to be in our favour too.”

his dark curls caress your face as you snuggle against him

“we also managed to score deals with many influential politicians and businessmen tonight,” he tells you and you look at him with pride as he names them

“soon,” he begins, trailing his hands under your dress and squeezing your thighs, “soon… we will have our people in every sector- in business, healthcare, industrial, courts… we will be controlling the nation- we… we are the leaders of this nation.”

his cock twitches inside you as he finishes that sentence and you bite your lips in thought

“what are you thinking, love?” he asks, caressing your face

“i just sometimes wonder,” you begin- can you admit your bare thoughts to him?

he squeezes your thigh as a sign to go ahead

“i wonder how we got here, joong,” you admit, “you know that we are exploiting people-”

“for the greater good-”

“for the greater good, yes,” you finish, nodding and he furrows his brows in concentration

“these people are just like us. we were once slaves of this society, but now we are the leaders. and they are our slaves. but…”

“they will offer us what they have,” hongjoong replies softly, “and we will make the best out of it. isn’t that right?”

you nod. there is no more space for any more questioning

you have never like the darkness in his eyes when you question his- your- methods

all he knows is that he is right

he knows what he is doing is wrong in essence, but it is about the bigger picture- he is doing this for his nation

and you cannot expect to run a nation claiming to be a saint

the nation is run by wolves, and to make space there, you must be some sort of a predator. that is who he has become

his grip on your thighs tighten and he starts to grind your body on him

between the sounds of pleasure is the groan of pain as he spanks your thighs and remind you of your place

“all you have to do is follow me,” he breathes into your ear, trailing his lips across your cheek. “all you have to do is stay with me. together…” he thrusts hard inside you. “together, we will rule the world one day, you and i.”

you nod and he swallows your moans as he kisses you, thrusting with all his might until you both come crashing down

he takes you to the shower and you both quickly clean up and get in bed

as you watch his figure relax and succumb to sleep, you confess to him

“you are a great politician, hongjoong,” you tell him and the corners of his lips curl in a smile. “i’m just afraid of going too far with you. every day, we learn that we can get worse than we are, yet…”

“yet, it has become my addiction and my duty,” he whispers, hand finding your bare arm and caressing it. “don’t you want to rule the world?”

“you will rule the world. i will be treading on your shadow, following you closely and sharpening my teeth… but afraid.”

“afraid of what?”

“of you,” you breathe and he opens one eye

“you won’t leave me, will you?” he asks innocently, yet it is there- the warning in his tone

you are responsible for who he is today. you are an accomplice

every person he ruins to get closer to the top, you are equally responsible for it

“of course not,” you tell him, “i can’t leave you.”

hongjoong notices your choice of words

you can not leave him- you do not have a choice

he holds you close and kisses you like he means it that night

it would be such a shame if he would have to throw you away after all of this, right? 

it would truly be such a shame if you are just like the others in the end- weak and helpless

since you know exactly what is going on inside hongjoong’s head, you tell him you love him like you really mean it and you let him hold you close

it may be a trap, but you don’t mind being trapped if this is where you end up every night- in his arms

your lord, your saviour

The Manipulator and the Manipulated

Seonghwa

Jekyll

park seonghwa is a man who is adored wherever he goes

be it at work- at a prestigious university as a neuroscience professor, dr. park, or at social gatherings, formal or informal

he is a man born with the best manners, the most caring and generous heart

you’ve seen him around the department as a masters student and attended a few of his classes 

but you never got to interact with him personally until it’s time to choose a thesis supervisor and you learn that you have a chance with him

it’s purely because he’s amazing at what he does 

your subfield matches with his specialty so it will be better if he’s your supervisor (and it’s only a bonus that the man is painfully hot so you’ll never be bored)

your professor recommends you to seonghwa and he goes over your synopsis which leaves him intrigued because coincidentally, he’s researching in molecular neuroscience as well

he gladly takes you on because he believes you both will be helping each other along the way

plus, he recognises your name- you’ve always had a different air about you (and he remembers you from somewhere else too)

he’s looking forward to working with you, that’s all

so when you arrive on your first day as his supervisee and research assistant

you catch him in his natural habitat- unaware of his surroundings, humming a tune to himself and swiping his hair hurriedly to the side with the hand that’s holding a clear solution of some sort while struggling not to drop his notes on the table that has a few microscope slides 

basically, moments away from a disaster

he spots you and grunts as if asking for help and you immediately drop your bag to rush towards him, only now noticing that somehow, he’s holding his glasses by his teeth

you first take those out of his mouth and he groans in relief. “can you please help me wear my glasses? those cultures are moments away from expiring.”

“oh goodness,” you mutter and you lock eyes with him as you put on his glasses for him

and your intrusive thoughts take over because you simply cannot take how his hair is poking his eyes so you gently brush his hair out of his eyes

for a moment, time is frozen for all sorts of reasons

before seonghwa takes a deep breath and you blink, immediately getting out of his way and holding his notes for him

the notes apparently hold the readings on how much solution he needs to pour so you read it for him and consequently save him from a disaster

as soon as he is done freezing the cultures, he holds the edge of the table to save himself from slumping in relief

and you share a laugh, the ice breaking just like that

he tells you that the student assigned for taking care of the cultures had an emergency and he had to rush from another department

and he thanks you for helping him

you both move to his office to go over your thesis and he helps you create a timeline

you wrap up the meeting with a clear direction of what’s next and with a schedule of shifts where you will be assisting him

it doesn’t take long to get used to being a part of his team of five calm students with a little streak of crazy

and you suppose dr. park has an eye for people like that because you fit right in

you are all very dedicated so he seems to be at ease when you are working, though he does monitor you more closely since you’re new

you start to spend more time in the lab simply because you like how it feels there

it is like a little cocoon where you can tune out the rest of the world and work on your thesis without distractions (plus, it helps how people from your team pop in once in a while to throw some suggestions at you)

you like how it is there- neat and clean

the sound of metal against metal, glass against glass. the smell of the cleaning agent which calms you since it is something familiar now

and then there’s dr. park himself, gentle and composed, yet at times clumsy and rough which results in the room cackling with laughter

however, there’s a side to him that you only see when you’re alone with him

you’re not sure if he’s like that with everyone- he must be, right?

does he pay as much attention to everyone else as you?

perhaps, you’re delusional. that must be it

seonghwa knows you must think that, because he has not been very obvious but he has not been subtle either

it’s just that he remembers you from that time. he remembers seeing your face in his friend wooyoung’s data

wooyoung, who is an expert at singling out people like them

people like seonghwa who have a little streak of crazy in them, yet manage to be a part of the society almost seamlessly

wooyoung’s company does a good job at managing these people because they ultimately help the black market grow

seonghwa is half convinced wooyoung’s company is just a faction of the government but of course he can’t confirm that

all he knows is that he cannot act out too much and get caught

in return, he knows when someone like him is in his radar

here you are, glasses perched on the tip of your nose as you examine different slides under the microscope, muttering to yourself about the readings as your scribble them

he can’t help but notice how you always wear that one specific shade of deep red on your lips or how your hair falls in the most irresistible way in front of your face

he’s never looked at a student this way- ever- but you’re not just a student now, are you?

so when he makes his move, approaching you from behind as silently as he can

he’s not disappointed when you turn- he didn’t make a sound, yet you knew

you’re not even surprised, and that excites seonghwa to no end

“ah, dr. park,” you go casually, as if him sneaking behind you was normal behaviour. “can you approve of these hypotheses?”

seonghwa hums and stands awfully close to you, your sides brushing against each other

he purposely crowds in your personal space as he leans in to confirm the readings of the specimens on the table

“everything’s perfect,” he announces, meeting your eyes

you’re still sitting so you have to look up at him and lord. what a sight he is even from this angle. you could totally get used to it-

“what are you looking at, sweetheart?” seonghwa smirks knowingly 

you have to physically struggle to maintain your composure because you are pretty sure you were gawking

“nothing, just zoned out,” you say, which isn’t a lie but not the whole truth either

he knows though. he knows the effect he has on you because he hasn’t been subtle

from the casual touches to the unnecessary (but not undeserved) praise

from the prolonged eye contact to the suggestive smirks

there is something electric between the two of you, an undeniable tension

and while you’re not one who sticks to the rules, you can’t help but wonder just why is dr. park playing with you?

“you sure you’re okay?” seonghwa leans in and searches your eyes for any signs of lies

upon finding none but gaining satisfaction from the way your lips part in surprise, he draws back 

you try your best not to make things awkward for the rest of the time you’re with him

and in the following days, his advances only start becoming stronger in nature

you like the attention he gives you. you like how he always puts his hands on your shoulders and gives them a little squeeze whenever he finds you sitting

you like the way his warm breath caresses your cheek when you’re both sitting side by side inspecting a specimen

you enjoy the sound of his gentle voice as he instructs you

it’s almost as if he knows. it’s almost as if he’s asking for it

does he not know that once you become obsessed with something, you’ll try- no, you will possess it at all costs?

so one night when you’re both working at late hours, busy with wrapping up one section of your thesis

you can’t take it when seonghwa scolds you teasingly for being clumsy 

“you’ve got pen on your chin,” he says and before you can take care of it, he himself scoots closer-

too close for it to be professional anymore because at this point, he can probably count the freckles on your face too-

and begins to rub at your the skin near your lips gently

he frowns when it doesn’t come off, and then he has the audacity to lick his thumb and rub your skin again

“dr. park,” you mutter, about to remind him how you are supposed to be a teacher and student

you’re not friends (despite the very friendly relationship you have developed with him)

seonghwa only hums and you can’t help but notice how he stifles a smirk as he moves his thumb to your lower lip and swipes it, all the while maintaining eye contact

you raise a brow in challenge, silently questioning why he’s still holding your chin

he leans in as if to kiss you and you stop breathing

except he tilts his head to whisper in your ear

“would you like to attend the next soul society meeting with me, love?”

to say that you freeze is an understatement

you don’t move when his lips caress your cheeks as he stays in that position

you don’t move when he purposely trails his lips along your cheek as he draws back

“what’s your classification?” you manage to ask, your voice barely a whisper

the way seonghwa smirks is something you’ll never forget

“jekyll,” he says. “nice to meet you, hyde.”

there’s a moment of silence where all you can do is stare at the man in front of you

a moment of pure static

as soon as you take off your mask and your lips curl in a smirk, it happens

you don’t know who took the first step but you’re both kissing each other

it’s rushed, passionate and desperate, the air filling with your grins and giggles and you’re only glad you’re not in the lab right now because the way seonghwa clears the table with a swipe of his hand, making the notes fall on the ground

only to lift you up and seat you there so he can kiss you better? being in the lab would have done some damage alright

between kisses, you learn how seonghwa recognised you

you ask him if he lured you here somehow, but he tells you it’s just luck that you’re here as his student right now. you don’t quite believe him though

but you let it be- if he’s jekyll, that means he’s got the brains to scheme

he tells you that he’s glad to have found his hyde because he would prefer someone else to do his dirty work for him

you agree- it’s been far too long since you’ve had an adventure, and you’ve heard about the notorious jekyll in the soul society too. you just never connected the dots

he takes you to his private lab (not before feasting on you and fucking you on that very table)

for the next few weeks, you familiarise yourself with his actual research

mind altering chemicals and drugs, anything to do with control

very illegal stuff, but the soul society funds him with whatever he needs

he can’t believe he found you- you’re perfect for him

seonghwa believes he has morals and he can be a good person

so you make the perfect partner because you can be the bad person in his stead

you’re his alter ego, the voice in his head that he never lets come out

you’re the person who not only matches his freak but helps bring it into manifestation. you are now his face

while he advances in molecular neuroscience in the world, you advance, on his behalf, in the underworld

there’s no blood on your hands- you both only produce drugs. you’re not responsible for what is done with them

you do sometimes assist in the practical work, which seonghwa avoids, because after all, he has a reputation to maintain as dr. park

no one suspects a thing. you’re just supervisor and supervisee who share a similar obsession with research

nothing to worry about

Jekyll and Hyde

Yunho

The Hunter

when you finally got to a blind date that your friend begged you to go to, you didn’t expect to meet a man who would actually catch your eye

there is something about this man, jeong yunho, that instantly pulls you in as if you really are tied by a thread 

for starters, he is incredibly handsome and has a soft vibe to him that exudes warmth

his voice has a soothing quality and his mannerisms are as gentle as his gaze. his laugh is pure and he makes quite a good company

he just makes you feel comfortable and safe right away, which is kind of surprising

so when yunho tells you about himself, confirming that he is indeed a corporate lawyer at a well-known firm, you are simply in awe

you thought your friend was bluffing when she told you that she is trying to set you up with a ‘beauty with brains’

she was not lying, is all you can think now

you’re a simple school teacher, you tell yunho with a laugh

however, the man’s eyes are practically twinkling as he hears your stories about school 

you’re only telling him because he insisted, and now he can’t stop appreciating your profession, saying that it’s admirable how you are able to connect with children and educate them

the conversation steers to your likes and dislikes, your preferences, and what you’re looking for in a partner

surprisingly, the two of you have a lot in common

you both have a special place in your heart for food. you both love travelling. and there are some things he does not need to say out loud 

like how he’s a caring person- always making sure you’re comfortable and your bowl is full, draping his coat over your shoulders when you leave the restaurant and scour the streets for something sweet

the hand that he offers you is not suggestive and you like that (you also like how tall he is and how his hand engulfs yours almost entirely)

just two people who talk about anything and everything- that’s who you become by the end of the night

as you settle in bed later, you’re still smiling about how his eyes twinkled when he learned that you too have a thing for gaming too

you have good feelings about this person so far but there’s a feeling scratching at your heart that has you restless

it is the way his eyes darkened almost dangerously, only momentarily, when you insisted that you could get home on your own

he was a gentleman, no doubt about it, insisting that you could never be too sure these days especially with the news being so horrible lately, the crime rate spiking up dramatically in the past few months

you just did not like the idea of having a stranger accompany you all the way to your home, even if it was this gentleman- this was only your first meeting

so he made you promise to call him and let him know when you get home 

and here you are. you dated him for a few months before you both decided to move in together into an apartment that suited your needs

he’s perfect in every way- attentive, responsive, caring, funny, and he gives you space when you need it

which matters the most because you value your personal space a lot

he understands the importance of personal space very well and even though you share a room, you both let each other be 

you let him be when he’s gaming, and he lets you be when you’re staring at the ceiling or reading

more often though, he’ll have you sit on his lap as he games

since he’s so much bigger than you, you’ll curl on top of him to read or scroll and he’ll be focused on his game, liking your presence

it doesn’t always lead to something but when it does, it’s always fun

he has you smitten- his kisses still make you feel like it’s your first time sharing a kiss (and he’s damn good at it)

his touch lingers on your skin throughout the day and you cannot wait to be back in his arms again

it is just another night when you decide to walk and take the longer route back home because apparently yunho was going to be late and you did not want to be home alone

it gets quieter as you navigate through the streets and alleys

and when you take a turn and notice a familiar figure, you stop in your tracks

is that… not yunho? the back and the height looks pretty much the same

the man is watching a woman at the end of the street who is using her phone as if waiting for someone

the woman catches the man watching her and grows wary- you can tell even from the distance

you can tell that she is very much pretending to be on call when she starts moving

despite every cell in your body urging you to ignore this and go back home, you start to follow the man when he starts to follow the woman

you are careful to maintain a distance, cursing yourself internally for being a curious little shit who seeks thrill like there’s no tomorrow

but the woman takes a left, and the man takes a right, leaving you standing in the middle of the street, taking a few deep breaths

nothing happened, you think. you turn and start to trace your path back

and just a minute later, there’s an unmistakable sound of a woman’s scream filling the air

every hair on your body rises as your heart drops and eyes widen

you’re frozen in one spot with no idea what to do next- should you go check on the woman? see if it was the same person? 

not once do you think of calling the police though

you walk back home, lost in your thoughts with the image of the man’s familiar figure branded in your mind especially since you are pretty damn sure that those were little sunflowers embroidered on the hem of the hoodie

sunflowers that you embroidered on yunho’s hoodie

when you open the door to your apartment, though, you hear the sound of the TV and yunho is sitting very casually on the couch

“ah, you’re home,” he grins and waves, just like he usually does

he’s not wearing the hoodie anymore

“i thought you were gonna be late?” you ask

“you’re late,” he counters. “why did it take you so long to get home?”

“just decided to take a walk,” you smile, ruffling his hair and planting a kiss on the top of his head before going to your room 

you grab your clothes and move towards the bathroom to take a shower, and it is then that yunho’s eyes widen

“ah, babe?” he calls, his voice uncharacteristically high

when you don’t answer, he rushes towards the bathroom and finds you standing in the doorway

your eyes are fixed on the sink which is a pale shade of pink with handprints on it

yunho curses himself internally- he rushed to hide his hoodie as soon as he got home, jumped in the shower, spotted the bloody sink from when he first washed his hands and decided to make it look like he had been home for a while before cleaning the sink

only he fucking forgot

it doesn’t look as bad- it’s not a bloody red, for starters

“ah, i forgot to clean that up,” yunho awkwardly laughs, proceeding to move inside and open the tap, taking a sponge and cleaning the edges of the sink

yeah. it does not look that bad

“i accidentally spilled that red ink you have in the room- i don’t know why i got curious and messed with it.”

that’s not the colour of your ink, though, and you know it never leaves stains like these

“don’t worry about it,” you tell him, but your eyes are wider than usual. yunho notices that

he lets you shower in peace, all the while thinking if you suspect something

truth be told, he saw you when you were following him back there which is why he took another turn to mislead you

he also knows you are far too observant for your own good

he can’t lie- one of the reasons he fell for you is because of that. you are just like him

though you are free of sin unlike him, your mind is a mess

you notice too much that is not meant to be noticed. you sometimes say things that even he has not thought about. you question if human morals are an actual thing or a made up construct

is it from reading too much fiction? he thinks not

when you come out of the shower, something possesses you to move to the balcony

and that’s another thing yunho likes about you (which also scares him a little at times)

it is your intuition- which leads you to inspect the little corner where you pile up useless stuff. you can see the sleeve of his hoodie there

you pick it up and find it wet in certain spots

on its black base, you can’t tell what it is, but the sunflowers are stained a suspicious red colour, and it’s definitely not your ink 

you look towards your right where yunho is standing, vigilant

there is a moment of silence before you lower the hoodie 

“it really was you,” you say, unwavering

your heart is not speeding because you’re scared- it is speeding because you are right

yunho is still, contemplating how to deal with this

did he think he could hide his secret from you forever? no. was he prepared in case he gets caught? no

he just never imagined it would unfold like this

and now… will he have to hurt you if you threaten to expose him? he can’t bear to hurt a hair on your head

you bring out all the good in him. he does not know how you do that, but you make him believe that he can love with all of his heart too, just like any other person

you make him feel whole, and it would be such a shame if things fall apart now

to his surprise, you drop the hoodie back and walk towards him until there’s little distance between the two of you

you hold both of his hands in yours and look at him earnestly

“are you going to tell me what you have been up to?”

yunho is surprised at how calm your voice is and how accepting your eyes are

he sighs deeply before steering you to the couch in the living room

and then he bares his heart to you

he is a monster. that is it. he hurts people and it satisfies this ugly part of him

he does not always want to, he justifies, but sometimes, he just can’t help it

and the only reason he gets away with it is because he is not stupid and carefully chooses his victims- people who are miserable. people who have no one around them

“well then… i’m lucky to have one person in my life, right?”

yunho’s eyes widens at your response

you fulfil the criteria of being his victim- you have no one 

you have no one but him- how did that happen?

he thinks back to your first date and he can’t help but feel overwhelmed

he buries his face in the crook of your neck, his head about to explode 

why are you not running away from him? why are you caressing his head and holding him close?

you don’t tell him everything right away. you only ask him to trust you

so he trusts you and waits for you

he learns little bits about you- you, who do not care who yunho is, as long as he is transparent with you

you, who has a twisted sense of morality. you, who might be as bad as yunho, even worse

though, your hands are clean, you tell him sarcastically, it’s just your head that is a mess

and it’s a blessing that you two are together and can be honest about this too, right? how lucky you are to have each other

“you, without sin, are like the sun,” he tells you one night as he kisses the top of your head and holds you close

“you, even with sin, are like the sun,” you respond.

The Hunter and His Guide

Yeosang

The Mad Scientist

there is something about the innocent features of his face, the gentleness in his mannerism, the absolute ethereal aura about him

that contrasts strikingly with the pitch black (or maybe, just two shades lighter) of his soul

the man only knows how to scheme and how to take the best possible route towards his goals

the goals are all related to science

sure, he is contributing to the scientific area, doing researches no one else would do

doctor kang yeosang- a scientist and philosopher, held in high reverence in the medical field, contributing with numerous researches centering the human body

nobody needs to know exactly how he gets such extensive, solid results to support his theories

he comes off as a soft-spoken man, someone who possesses a kind heart

he is willing to overwork himself in order to make life easier for others

he is much appreciated by his peers

they don’t need to know that behind his neat and professional setup is a dark, cold space that holds his real workspace

the endless corridors lined with shelves upon shelves of jars 

jars containing the human body parts within them

from the brain to the spleen, from the heart to the liver

each jar meticulously lined in an organisation such that only yeosang could close his eyes and know where to pick what he needs

each organ in the jar has a story of the human that it once was- the story that yeosang himself scribes and tucks in the safe (and in a corner of his heart)

taking it out only to read and reminiscence, or to make another addition

such as the one that he is about to make now, sauntering with an almost skipping manner, highlighting his delight in the events about to unfold

his pristine white lab coat flows behind him, a symbol of everything that he would not be doing tonight, which only adds to the irony of it all

he finds you mirroring his expressions, eyes wide with anticipation and lips curled in a stifled smile

and he can’t help but smile wider, the sound of his footsteps echoing loudly as he speeds towards you so that he can finally hold you after the long day he had, tired of playing it cool in front of everyone

you are snaking your arms around his neck immediately as he bends down to capture your lips in a fierce kiss, earning a surprised but pleased yelp from you

you let him have his moment, kissing him back with equal passion until he draws away and rests his forehead against your shoulder

“long day, huh?” you press your lips against his temple. “how did the presentation go?”

the presentation being at a conference of the national medical association where yeosang was the chief guest, awarded for his valuable insights to the medical world

“i sometimes wonder if i’m the only one wearing a mask,” yeosang confesses.

you know what he means

there surely must be others just like him

you can’t expect to make medical advancements while sticking to the stupid laws and regulations they have carved for you

the medical associations do not allow anyone freedom 

“it’s tiring to pretend my research was simply a result of my team’s hard work,” yeosang continue, “they didn’t do batshit. i wish i could credit you instead.”

“but you can’t,” you caress his dark locks. “that would certainly raise suspicion since i’m… underqualified.”

well, that’s arguable 

you may not be as good as yeosang at what you do but considering that you come from a non-medical background, yeosang would say that you are pretty close

in fact, overqualified

“i don’t think there’s anyone more qualified than you,” yeosang lifts his head to look up at you, eyes scanning your face. “you’re an expert of the human body.”

you are an expert, that is true

you did what you had to do to survive as a young girl who lost her way

you were meant to be a test subject yourself but you created your own path and proved that you were good with your hands- almost artistic

and that you could open up humans as long as you had a good knife

your skills were a bit rusty when yeosang found you in the black market

but he was thoroughly impressed and made an offer. it was an offer that you couldn’t resist 

you would no longer be bound to be a slave for the rest of your life

you would be his equal. an accomplice 

“but you are the mad scientist. i’m just your unofficial assistant,” you pat his cheek in answer

it’s a wonder that you’re here now, in his arms

a muffled sound interrupts your little moment

you both steer towards the big room and yeosang looks around for a moment to take in the glory of his workplace

the crisp white walls and clean tiles smelling of antiseptic, marred with red stains of blood that is dripping from the man’s limbs

the man who is currently tied to a stretcher in the middle of the room

the instruments and tools that he would be using tonight to open his test subject up are glinting with silver, ready to be used

he has chosen the perfect target- a relatively healthy, middle-aged homeless man

really, no one would care if he went missing

in fact, you were doing him a favour by putting an end to his miserable life, right?

surely, he did not wish to live without a home and the means to survive

though here he was, sedated but struggling nonetheless, as if finally having found the will to live

“ah, he created a mess,” yeosang begins, clicking his tongue in disappointment as he inspects the bruises around the man’s wrists. “i’m sorry you had to wait so long, hmm?”

it’s almost eerie, how yeosang’s voice drips with pity

but that’s what you like about him

he thinks of the greater good. he is doing all of this for the greater good

there is no personal desire to kill random human beings, no

he simply needs test subjects to study the human body, so there can be advancements in the medical world

he just can’t believe that the world does not have a cure or even a prevention for most of the diseases in this age

he has taken it upon himself to contribute to the medical world so people do not have to suffer anymore

he complains about this a lot 

if people had guts, they would have done this ages ago

sometimes, he refers to the awful medical experiments done by humankind- especially on women

he is different from them, he claims

he cares about their pain- that is why he makes sure to make his subjects’ death quick and painless before he starts to conduct his experiments

it’s just too bad that he doesn’t have much time after the person passes to study certain functions of a living human

(so sometimes, he makes exceptions and asks god for forgiveness. easy peasy)

you watch yeosang with a sort of wonder and a little something that resembles fear as he caresses the man’s head in farewell

he asks the man to say his last words, to choose them carefully, to take his time and to make peace with the fact that there is no way out

the sedatives seem to have made the man somewhat placid

the test subject stops resisting to lock eyes with the doctor 

he says something about the regrets he’s had in his life and how he just wants his misery and pain to end now

yeosang’s brows are furrowed in concentration as he listens to each and every word, nodding along as if he aims to fulfil every desire this man possesses 

his hand is gently caressing the man’s head

when the man is done, yeosang tells him that his contribution to medical research won’t be forgotten

he looks at you to find you already staring at him with an unreadable expression

he signals you to get the job done and you inject the medicine meant to stop the man’s heart

you watch the man take his last breath, his face contorting in pain as his heart ceases to function

yeosang has already moved on from the little moment he had, putting on medical gloves and snapping them against his skin rather dramatically

“let’s get to work, shall we?”

you smile in response, following his instructions

soon, you are testing the functioning of the man’s abdominal organs with various equipment and drugs that yeosang has bought from the black market 

you have to work quickly before necrosis begins and hinders you

yeosang is very careful with his methods. his hands are steady as if he has done this a thousand times already 

and though he comes off as clumsy in the public eye, he is anything but here

his eyes are focused, darting between the electrodes placed on the man’s liver to the readings on the screen

it goes on like this for a while, yet another failed experiment as the liver fails to respond as desired to the electric shock and necrosis takes over

it doesn’t disappoint any of you though

yeosang has a strong vision and no amount of failed experiments is going to stop him 

plus, there’s always something you learn even from failure

you begin to clean up when you notice a broken nail lying on the stretcher

you pick it up with tweezers and inspect it- it must have broken when the man was struggling to break free

yeosang catches you looking at the discoloured nail with curiosity and he hums in question

“hair and fingernails are beautiful ornaments.” you ask, “so why do they seem so baleful when they are removed? 

yeosang stands beside you, pondering

“the answer is simple. they are previews of what is to come. of death.”

you look at him to find his eyes twinkling with the knowing glint of someone who’s seen it all

after you both finish recording the data of tonight’s session, yeosang is back to being the cute and clumsy person that you absolutely adore

the man is craving chicken after today’s hard work so you fulfil his wish and take him to his favourite place

you both sit across each other, drinking beer and savouring the juicy meat while talking about casual stuff- just an assistant and her boss

just two friends who met by chance and felt an instant pull towards each other

just two lovers, fated to be together and find solace in each other’s company

as if the stars have aligned for you yet again, a familiar face walks in and sits on the table next to you

you meet yeosang’s eyes and you both stifle a smile

it’s one of the potential test subjects you’ve had in your file, due for observation

and what better observation than to sit next to them in a casual setting and eavesdrop naturally?

yeosang raises his beer glass in toast and you share a knowing smile, raising your own glass in toast 

just two partners in crime. that’s who you are

The Mad Scientist and his Accomplice

San

Executioner

choi san works hard during the day

he goes to the school and makes sure his students are in top shape

as their p.e. teacher and coach, he has every student’s physical status on his fingertips

he knows their strengths and their weaknesses. he also knows their desires

so if a student is not a good runner but wants to run better, he would never tell them to give up, he would personally coach them and make sure they know that their body is not the limit

they can be a good runner, a good player, a good swimmer- anything

as long as they are steadfast, they can conquer the world

so choi san is loved and respected by the students, known to be a very caring teacher

but choi san works harder at night. no one needs to know that

certainly not his colleagues who always go about how hardworking a teacher he is

when he is free from the school, he goes to his home and changes before driving to his friend’s place- a warehouse where a few of you hang out

someone programmes, another composes, another works out

just an innocent hideout that you’re all using even in your early thirties

except that you also huddle around to read the new request you receive on your app

“i am a twenty-one year old female. two years ago, the man who dated my older sister killed her, but due to lack of evidence, he did not receive the jail time he deserves. he claims that he is innocent, but ever since he got out, he’s been bothering me because he had to serve his short sentence anyway. he is threatening to kill my family and then me if i go to the cops. i am scared to leave the house because he is stalking me and i can always see him wherever i go. please help me. i won’t go to the cops anyway- they didn’t do anything then, and they will not do anything now.”

san is contemplating if he should accept this request

you look at wooyoung who is immediately weighing the pros and the cons

you look back at san who is still deep in thought and you gently rest your hand on his thigh, bringing him out of his head

“i’ll take it,” he mutters. “accept the request, y/n.”

you nod and go back to the computer to accept the request

you have a phone call conversation with the client where you set up a meeting

it’s you and wooyoung who go to meet with the respective parties. san works in the shadows

the next night, san finds you deep in thought outside, leaning against the worn out wall of the warehouse

he joins you, hands in the pockets of his baggy jeans

“i know what you’re thinking,” san begins, glancing at you. “you’ve been awfully quiet since the meeting.”

you shrug in defeat. “i know i can’t change your mind.”

“it’s not going to be the same,” san refers back to the one time you all took a request from a 19 year old girl who was being bullied by her seniors

it got to a dangerous point and had you been a little late, you might have lost the girl

san lost his temper that time, though

and while he couldn’t physically harm the kids who were bullying the girl, he had them locked in a room for one night while he educated them

and funnily enough, san was scarier that night

scarier than every other time he actually wields a weapon

you asked him that night if there were any just people left in this world full of evil

“all people are evil. to believe that you are just, you must believe that someone else is more evil than you”

was his response. safe to say, the girl was living her best life now, but you saw a new side of san that night

a side you had never seen all your life, and that was saying something since you were childhood friends

“we won’t let it get to that point,” san assured, outstretching your hand and you pouted before taking it

he caressed your knuckles, his voice assertive. “i will take care of it. properly. i always do.”

“do you think i only worry about things going wrong?” you finally say out loud, the words that you want to say to him every time he goes out in the field 

san, despite himself, breaks into a smile that would seem so out of character to anyone who has not known him for long

“you can’t smile your way out of this,” you sulk further, snatching your hand away and folding your arms

“baby,” san begins, trying to take your hand again but you’re not having any of it

“i’m worried you’ll get hurt. i’m worried about the pain you’re willing to go through so you can lessen the pain of others.”

san stops teasing then, mimicking your position as he leans against the wall next to you

there is a thick silence surrounding you and you wonder what wooyoung is doing inside- is he napping?

“it’s something i have to do. something only i can do. you know that, right?”

“i know,” you say, almost a whisper. “and that’s what makes this more frustrating.”

because it was originally your idea

on a summer night when you were all about to graduate, a tragedy happened in your town

a man went on a spree, killing and wounding multiple women and children for weeks

you, who knew one of the victims personally, were shocked by the act and disgusted at how lazy the police were being

it turned out that the assailant was a high-profile businessman and the police were trying to cover the case up as per the orders of their superiors

the three of you were hanging out in the warehouse, each burdened by their own train of thoughts, until you finally said it out loud

“what if we were some sort of a private service where we help the victims? especially when the police can’t?”

it was wooyoung who agreed first, and san who disagreed

it took him some convincing to finally agree, and you set rules

you were not going to kill anyone- only maim

if it’s a serial killer, you maim their hands so they can never hold a weapon again

if it’s a bully, you maim their mouth so they think before they speak

the three of you are a team, but san is the executioner

wooyoung is his eyes and feet, and you are the brains

so it is ironic how worried you are about san now, when you gave him this role

“i know that i can get hurt,” san begins, taking a deep breath. “but there is no pain as long as i keep my eyes on the balance scale.”

this time, when he outstretches his hand, you take it. he plants a sweet kiss on your knuckles

“don’t worry about me, hmm?” he tugs you closer so you can rest your head against his firm chest as he embraces you. “i can’t focus when you’re so worried.”

“i can’t help it,” you tell him. “you’ll just have to get used to it.”

san lifts your face with his thumb below your chin, his brows furrowed with concentration and worry as he looks at you

his eyes are sharp as he scans you so you smile

immediately, his body relaxes and the corners of his lips curl in a smile as he pecks your lips- once, twice

and it is about to turn into a deeper kiss when wooyoung claps loudly to get your attention

“alright, lovebirds. get inside. we have a heads-up.”

you scowl at wooyoung who smirks in response but you both immediately join the youngest inside

your client has texted to let you know that she’s about to go out so you can stalk her stalker

you and wooyoung take your equipment to the van and san prepares himself 

he’ll be observing tonight, but he is prepared in case the stalker catches on

just like that, you observe the stalker for a few days, assuring your client that she is safe

you plan a trap to lure the stalker to an abandoned area where san will have a little chat with the stalker 

and when the day comes, all your client has to do is threaten to call the cops on him

he comes after her and that is when san knocks him out with a punch

the stalker finds himself tied to a chair in an empty room when he opens his eyes

there is the stale smell of something resembling death in the room, and that makes the man resist 

from the darkness, san emerges, clad in all black, his face covered with a mask

and his favourite weapon, the dagger, in his hand

you and wooyoung are watching from the camera embedded on his coat

you can see the glint of the dagger as he twists it dramatically in his hand

san circles around the man once as if to gauge the room 

even through the camera, you can tell how thick the air must be feeling

san meets eyes with the man and removes the tape over his mouth, wincing when the man screams his lungs out in hopes that help would come

there is no help, not for miles

“who are you?” the stalker spits on the ground near san’s feet 

san only shuts his eyes in mild annoyance. he is not easily riled up

“you have been found guilty of the crime of stalking. tell me… what should be your sentence?”

the man pales, fresh beads of sweat trickling down his forehead 

“it will be better if you admit to your wrongdoings and give me a fair number. you don’t want to leave it in my hands.”

“what do you mean sentence?” the stalker starts struggling fiercely, almost falling off the chair. “i have already served!”

san grins under the mask, closing in like a cat and stomping on his foot, making the man let out a guttural groan of pain

he leans in to whisper in his ear

“but… that was for murder. and unfortunately, i am not charging you for murder tonight. otherwise… you would not have walked out alive.”

the man gulps loudly, meeting eyes with who has to be the person he has heard so much about in prison

most of the people in prison feared this man- the judge, they called him

the man was the judge, jury and executioner for criminals, feared more than the cops or actual prosecutors

“surely… you’re not him, are you?”

you wince at the fear in the stalker’s voice and meet wooyoung’s eyes

san never confirms if he is that. he simply finishes the job right there

the stalker’s screams are heard for quite a distance, even outside your earpieces

you shut your eyes momentarily and when you open, you can see the blood oozing out of the man’s left leg

san is wiping the dagger with the man’s own jacket as he tells him that he will never be able to stalk people again

the man screams and screams, waiting for something more, but nothing else comes

san’s job is done

he tosses a broken piece of glass near the chair for the man to free himself if he wishes to

when san comes back to the van, the air is sombre, just like after every finished request

wooyoung pats his shoulder in acknowledgement and mutters a joke in an attempt to lighten the mood, which works

“they still call you the judge, huh?” wooyoung teases as he drives

“judge, jury, executioner. how scary, choi san.”

san raises a brow at your comment- he can tell what you’re referring to

you’re referring to the first time when he came back covered in blood

and the first time he realised that no matter what he did, you would never be scared of him

and that you and wooyoung would always have his back and guide him

“i think i’m only the executioner. you both are the judge and jury.”

“makes sense,” wooyoung agrees. “but the world does not need to know that.”

Judge, Jury and Executioner

Mingi

The Overseer

“the future, pitch black, upside down”

mingi dips his brush into the onyx ink, finishing writing the words on the big canvas

the canvas that is a splash of colours- red for the blood on his hands. white for the innocence he lost too soon. blue for all those nights he spent trapped with only the moon as his friend

and finally, black for the future. the future is the only uncertainty in his life

despite being a leader of a notorious gang, he can never be certain about his future. there are always people after his life

he cannot trust anyone- not one soul-

“sir,” a voice interrupts and he knows who it is instantly

even if he did not hear your voice, he knows you are the only person who would dare interrupt him in the middle of his private time-

“tea, sir. you’ve been cooped up in here for too long,” you say, placing the mug on the table

-for something as meagre as tea

mingi spares a glance in your direction, noticing how you are still dressed in your usual all-black fit

which means you have not gone to sleep yet, even though it’s well past midnight

“and what are you doing up so late?” he asks as he picks up the cup and sips it, finding it exactly to his liking. a flavour only you can nail

“watching you paint,” you confess without hesitation

because in this place, in this room, between the two of you, there may be truths hidden, but there are no secrets

mingi is amused to hear that though he does his best to hide it

“and what do you think of the painting?” he asks, allowing you to take a closer look

you smile at his permission to inspect his art and you inch closer to the painting, now standing beside your boss

you read the words on it in a whisper and cock your head in thought

“isn’t this too dark, even for you?” you question 

mingi shakes his head in amusement and looks down. only you could have made this observation, having been at his side for a solid seven years now

where others would say that his paintings were too ‘colourful’ considering the kind of person he is, you still find them too dark and void of life

you’d know better, because you know mingi inside out

he first found you when he was a street thug in the process of becoming something big

all he had was his raw strength, a strategic brain, a few rusty weapons and some loyal friends

he went on to fight gang after gang, always emerging victorious and merging the losing team with a good deal- it’s how he earned respect around and gained a reputation

every other gang knew not to stand against him unless they wanted to risk losing everything they had

when he first opened his office in the darkest part of the town, he found you purely by chance

you were nearing the end of your teens- a rebellious little girl who cut ties from her family and ran away from home

at that time, you had multiple part-time jobs trying to make ends meet, hoping to find a place to live

and one fateful night, you found yourself in front of a building to deliver chicken, peering up at the light coming from the 4th floor- this must be it 

although… you weren’t sure if the loud sounds coming from the floor were just men having a good time or if something had gone really, really wrong

men will be men, you thought, wanting to get the delivery done with so you could move on

only when you reached the 4th floor, you spotted men lying on the ground and clutching their limbs, blood all around

while every sane part of your brain screamed at you to pretend you saw nothing and go back, you recalled how when you received the order, they promised a big tip to the rider

you could not miss that, could you? you had to find a place to live, and you needed every penny

so you started with the men who seemed to be unconscious. you took any cash they had, being careful to hide your face in the hoodie

you moved to the office, hearing a crashing sound and flinching

you made quick work of grabbing more cash from the thugs- they had to be thugs

they all had guns, for fuck’s sake

you went into one of the neater rooms and placed the bags of fried chicken there

and you froze when a burly man made his way inside, wiping blood from the edge of his mouth

“ah… you must be song’s girl, eh?” he snickered, scanning you up and down

“i- i’m delivering chicken,” you pointed at the table. “i’ll be on my way then-”

“not so quick,” his gaze darkened 

instinctively, you grabbed the nearest object, which so happened to be a mug and chucked it at the man, successfully hitting his head

he clutched his head in pain and you made a dash outside, bumping into another man

the tall man seemed mostly unscathed save for a bruise on his cheek

he held your wrists to steady you and his eyes darted in the man’s direction who was clutching his head no more

“oi, song!” the burly man called. “teach your girl some manners, will you?”

the man called song pushed you to the side and a gunfight ensued

you took shelter behind a shelf, observing how the taller man successfully shot his every target

when he thought he was done- and was out of bullets, he looked in your direction and tsked loudly

you were about to come out of the shadows when you noticed one of the supposedly unconscious men take aim of song’s head

your eyes widened and almost instinctively, you grabbed a heavy metal object from the shelf and rushed to the man who was targeting your saviour

to say that mingi was surprised to see a young girl save him from his enemy by nearly crushing the man’s skull?

he knew you were something special right away

you both stared at each other for a long time before he told you to go back to his office, lock the door and not come out until he comes back

he was done sooner than you thought, and while his men cleaned his mess, he found you in his room, sitting rather calmly

“so you’re the delivery girl,” he narrowed his eyes

“i hope the chicken is still warm,” you responded. “if you can just pay me so i can leave-”

“why did you do that earlier?” he asked, voice low and rough that sent shivers up your spine

“i don’t know,” you answered truthfully

mingi paid you more than extra that night and told you to come next time they place an order 

the next time would turn out to be the last time you would ever work a part-time job

mingi offered you a place in his gang, and you took it

you are still not sure what your position in this gang is though- they smuggle drugs but keep you away from the work, so what are you doing here?

personal assistant? chef? manager? all of these? 

sometimes, you are accompanying wooyoung in the field- the gang now has an official base and a few legal businesses

sometimes, you stay in the kitchen with seonghwa and wooyoung to cook

other times, you sit with yunho and hongjoong to plan and offer your opinion on their strategic takes

you aren’t sure if you are qualified for that- you probably aren’t

somehow, though, the gang members respect you for whoever you are

you are the light in their dark life, they joke. you are someone’s friend now, sibling to some, secretkeeper for others

but you still aren’t sure what you are to mingi

whenever you ask him why he took you in, mingi always responds with something different

“you were clever grabbing all that money from our enemies”

“you saved me- though i must say i could have handled it”

“you looked like a lost cat”

“you didn’t report us”- excuses, all of them

truth be told, mingi has no idea what you are to him either

he has a certain fondness for you that he has for no one else. of course, it didn’t happen instantly

he took you in because he realised you had a strategic mind and he could really use that

he insisted the office needed a ‘feminine touch’ even though it came in the form of a cranky teen who wouldn’t stop asking questions

but somehow, the two of you formed an unbreakable bond

he finds solace just being with you in one room, even in complete silence

he loves to hear you talk, even though you mostly question his morals

because he is not a good person, you found out

song mingi is not conventionally good. he is a man of principles, but he does not have the best morals

despite all that, you learned a lot from him. the world is a harsh place, and only he can protect you 

he learned a lot from you too. the world is a harsh place, and only you are his safe space

when at times things get stressful, he comes to seek you. he finds you in the shared residence and sits with you

if he is feeling down, you will have him lay his head in your lap. you will caress his head and let him be

if he wants to talk, he will. otherwise, he will watch you for a long time until he falls asleep, unguarded

when he gets tired, he will seek your arms. all he has to do is show up and you will know what to do

you will drop whatever you are doing and spread your arms

it is his home at this point. that’s how things are like

are you in a relationship? you don’t know

all you know is that song mingi is the most important person in your life

it doesn’t matter if he lives life the way he does

it doesn’t affect you anymore- the blood on his hands or the chaos in his mind

it doesn’t bother you because you know his heart, and that is all that matters

so standing in his private space right next to him, inspecting his painting with a critical eye, you tell him that the painting is not him

he tells you to pick a colour and you reach out for a box, making him chuckle

“really?” he asks

“the future may seem black, but…” you begin. “it doesn’t feel so dark when i’m with you.”

mingi takes a deep breath at your words. you always get him like this, and he is not sure if he can restrain himself anymore

your heart aches when you see him curl his fists, a sign that he is holding back some words or an action

“tell me what you’re thinking,” you request, though it registers like a command in the gang leader’s brain

“i’m thinking that i never should have given you this life.”

you shake your head at that- how many times has he voiced out that he wished you had lived a better, normal life, away from the clutches of the underworld?

“no, you’re thinking something else too,” you comment

“i’m thinking that i want you to stay here, with me, forever,” he responds

you nod in approval. “i’m right here. i’m not going anywhere.”

“you could get hurt,” mingi says, taking a step closer and closing the gap between your bodies

“i am a big girl now, mingi,” you laugh, wrapping your arms around his waist and hearing his erratic heartbeat

his arms are still by his sides for a moment before he embraces you

“i’m old now, in fact. how much longer will you keep me waiting?”

mingi grows stiff at your question. so you know

of course you do

mingi cups your face and locks eyes with you

“i won’t break,” you promise

“i know,” he smiles, pecking your forehead. “i’m afraid you will break me.”

your lips curl in a smile and he rests his forehead against yours

“are you sure about your choice?”

“yes,” you breathe. “i want you. i’m yours.��

mingi draws back

“i meant your choice of colour,” he tilts his head in the direction of the painting and the box of paint you picked for him

“of course you did,” you laugh at his attempt to distract you

mingi leans in to close the distance between your lips

it is soft and unrushed. you both have waited for the right moment, the right time for years and everything feels absolutely right at this moment 

you go first, asking him to join you in your bedroom and he agrees

he assesses the canvas once again

as a finishing touch, he sprays a final splash of yellow- the colour you picked for him

yellow for hope, for all the light in his dark world

The Overseer and his Shelter

Wooyoung

The Maniac

it has always been a cat and mouse game with you and wooyoung

you chase after each other, running in circles with no start or end

it’s almost as if you both have sworn to keep your eyes glued on each other, watching every move, anticipating what is next

someone’s lips curls up in a failed attempt to restrain a smile- a smile that drips with mischief and mockery

someone else’s eyes glint with threat and promise that this is not over, their fists curled in anger

you chase after each other like cat and mouse

only…you’re not sure who is the cat and who is the mouse

sometimes, it is you chasing after wooyoung

jung wooyoung, the son of one of the richest businessmen in town

a privileged piece of shit who is not right in the mind

a crazy bastard who has made it his life’s mission to not only drive you to the edge of the cliff but to push you and laugh in victory as you fall

he takes advantage of you being a criminal investigator 

some people jest that they can’t tell if wooyoung means to ruin your career or lead you to your promotion

with the amount of times wooyoung has gotten himself in trouble (and gotten away with it) he keeps your desk full of cases that you spend most nights investigating

while he keeps your hands full, what frustrates you to no end is that he almost always gets away with his crimes only because of his social standing and his connections

he gets away with petty crimes. he gets away with bloody fights that could very well have him spend one night in the station, cuffed 

he gets away with major crimes such as money laundering and tax evasion

no matter how much you try to investigate, you cannot

there are the warnings of your superiors who threaten to fire you because this is not your worry

and even if you do start to investigate, wooyoung’s team is quick to wipe any evidence of said crimes

you’re pretty sure that at this point, he might be hiding a body somewhere in his house

you wouldn’t be surprised. man once set his enemy’s mansion on fire

to make things worse, he got away with it- even when he was the only one grinning and playing with a lighter on his way out 

while the others scrambled like mice, he sauntered in style

he gets away with anything

you reputation at the station is already in shambles because of it

they call you his shadow at this point, considering how you are always following him

the truth is, you just want to wipe the shitty grin off his face for once

you want him to suffer defeat when you finally put him behind bars

you want him to chase after you like you chase after him

you might come off as delusional, but you’re half convinced that whatever wooyoung does is on purpose at this point- to get your attention

it wasn’t always like this, you and wooyoung

it started with a simple fight that broke out at a party where all the high-profile people were

someone was stupid enough to call the police- but you were more stupid because you went ahead and handcuffed wooyoung

you told him that you couldn’t waste this opportunity because you were investigating another case related to his father’s company anyway

and he? he laughed out loud like a maniac

you soon learned why, going home with the sound of your superiors scolding you still ringing in your ears

here you are, a few years and a lot of chasing each other later

except… you get something out of the chasing now

all he has to do is corner you. all he has to do is rile you up as he tells you why you lost this game yet again

with his burning gaze and honey voice, he pins you to the spot

with his fingers tracing the curves of your face, he tells you how much he loves you chasing after him 

as if he’s all that you ever think about. he might be right

“don’t you think we’re meant for each other?” wooyoung questions almost innocently, licking his lips subconsciously as he trails his finger down the curve of your neck until he reaches the first button of your shirt

“don’t think too highly of yourself, wooyoung,” you respond, your chest rising and falling in controlled breaths

you can not let him know the effect he has on you

however, wooyoung doesn’t need any sort of confirmation

you can try to keep your gaze steel all you want. you can attempt to sound sure and fake indifference, but the fact is that wooyoung knows

all he has to do is take another step forward and fill the gap between you two

his warm breath caresses your face and you gulp despite yourself

he watches you intently and squeezes your neck just a bit, causing you to part your lips for air and then he brushes the tip of his nose against yours

his other hand is slowly but surely unbuckling the belt of your pants and taking it off

you can only thank god in an ashamed relief that you’re in a private space- the space being one of the empty rooms in a random building on a random street because you had been tailing wooyoung

(at least the door is locked)

wooyoung brushes his lips against yours as your pants fall on the ground and pool on your feet

the sound that makes has heat rushing to your face- this should not be happening

you are a fucking detective and wooyoung is your target

but you can’t complain when his fingertips dance along your hip bones

all he has to do is swipe his fingers up your panties

upon finding them soaked (as usual), he smirks and you smack his chest

he catches your fist in his hand, though

“all for me?” he asks

in a matter of seconds, your lips are upon each other, tongues in each other’s mouth as you wrap your legs around him

he picks you up effortlessly and places you on a very dusty table

he gets rid of his clothes all the while kissing you expertly, aiming to please you, dominate you

he sucks on your lips, your neck, anywhere he can get his mouth on

and when he finally takes off all your garments, he has more places he can get his mouth on

“admit it, detective,” he breathes against your clit. “you’re obsessed with me.”

“get to work before i cuff you and fuck your brains out, wooyoung.”

wooyoung’s laugh echoes in the room as he recalls that night- a night he is sure he can never forget

“does that mean i get to experience that again if i stop now?”

you are moments away from your high- how dare he ask if he can stop?

he gets the hint and gets to work, and he makes sure he does a good job, licking and sucking at your clit until you’re screaming

for bonus points, he dives his cock inside right after and stays still as he starts to kiss you eagerly

this time, you’re the one who loses to him and lets him take control

you let him thrust into you. you let him praise you and humiliate you to no end

truth be told, you’re addicted to him. there is no going back from here

wooyoung knows how to use his tongue and he whispers sweet nothings

he is also surprisingly good at aftercare, even though you don’t accept it from him

well, you try not to, but he is insistent

he takes you home and he invites himself in

you go to the shower and he goes to your room to admire the effort you put into bringing him down

loads of files and a board full of his ‘accomplishments’ staring back at him- nothing he doesn’t know

“you think your daddy will help you if i start to investigate the slush fund you have?”

“which one?” is his response, and he grins widely as you gape at him

he can practically see the gears in your head turning and he adores that

it is a cat and mouse game after all. he must give you something so you keep coming after him

(and you must give him something so he keeps finding you too)

while you’re still processing what he just implied, your phone rings

you flinch when you pick it up, getting an earful from your team leader once again, because where were you?

you were supposed to tail wooyoung to confirm that he is meeting up with a notorious gang member who does his dirty work

the case you’re team is on these days is targeting the gang, and yet again… wooyoung is involved

so what the hell were you doing, your superior asks

“jung wooyoung did not meet up with the gang leader,” you say into the phone, your eyes fixed on wooyoung 

wooyoung has a shit-eating grin plastered on his face

“and how do you know that? i thought you lost the tail-”

“yes, i did lose the tail,” you bite your lips in thought- you can’t tell your team leader that wooyoung has a strong alibi this time-

but wooyoung goes ahead and snatches your phone from you

“detective lee,” wooyoung greets and you mutter a string of curses under your breath

you watch wooyoung charm his way through the matter

telling the detective that he was in a tight spot because of the gang they are investigating

and how it is a shame that a ‘civilised’ person such as himself is being linked to thugs

he tells him that he almost got attacked but you saved him, and you hid him in an abandoned building, being wise enough not to blow your cover 

you can’t tell how he does it, but by the end of the call, your team leader is fully convinced that you did a good job today and he even praises you when you take the phone back

when you end the call, you glare at wooyoung

“what?” he shrugs. “i needed an alibi.”

“is that why you took me to the building to fuck me? because you needed an alibi?”

wooyoung watches you with mild curiosity

“did you think it meant something else?” he asks

it would have hurt if he really meant it, but that’s the thing

you both know he doesn’t mean what he says, especially about whatever is going on between you two

he has risked his position and even his life far too many times just to get you alone and fuck you

so you only smile and shake your head in response before telling him to fuck off and get out of your sight

(and he does. not before a second round)

when he leaves, you watch his car disappear from the window before going to the board and updating everything you got out of him tonight

everything about his business and his crimes. everything to make your case on him stronger

it’s truly a wonder how much you can get out of fucking someone right and you’re positive you can see the end of this case now

though… you’re not sure if you will ever take this to court. but that’s something you’ll worry about later

for now, you will follow him like a cat follows a mouse

and he will chase after you like a cat chases after a mouse

The Maniac and his Shadow

Jongho

The Tyrant

it is always a little too cold in the building for your liking

the building that is choi enterprises, located at the heart of the city, standing tall with numerous floors, laden in luxury

it is a workplace and home to some of the people in this city and a symbol of something untouchable to the others

as you enter the building, accompanied by your secretaries and a guard, you instantly feel the temperature drop despite the warm tones of the interior

the employees that greet you may have smiles on their faces but it’s all an act. you can tell, because you know what a genuine smile looks like

choi enterprises somehow always manages to keep the most calculating people to themselves. it might be why the company has flourished so much in such a short period of time

“to the private elevators, miss,” a man says and you recognise him as one of the ceo’s personal staff

you follow him and tug your jacket closer, wishing you had worn it instead of draping it over your shoulders

you catch your reflection on the golden glossy door of the elevator and straighten, lifting your chin up

you will not be pushed into submission, you repeat for the umpteenth time

however, things are not in your favour this time

in this never ending game of business rivalry, you and choi jongho have never seen eye to eye. you always stand in opposition, defensive or offensive

sometimes, you manage to outsmart him while making a new business deal or scoring a new project. other times, he is a few steps ahead and wins the game

except when you lose, somehow, the loss is much greater and a bit personal

your company always suffers more when you lose, which is why this little meeting you are going to have with jongho is no less than a negotiation- a war, if you must

sometimes, you wonder if jongho has a personal grudge against you. these meaningless battles start to seem like an excuse to see you

if not, then why is jongho looking like he just won the lottery at the sight of you?

“as beautiful as ever,” he says, scanning your figure slowly

you don’t move an inch, pretending those words don’t affect you

the secretaries move to another room, leaving you and jongho alone

jongho gets up from his chair and moves to the middle of the room, motioning you to take a seat

you watch as he pours a drink for you, his muscles flexing through the coat he’s wearing 

you take the drink- you need something to calm your nerves

“i suppose the odds are not in your favour, considering you found your way back here”

an allusion to the time he said that you were meant to find your way back here again and again, that you were just a lost kitten and he was your master, controlling you

at that time, you thought he meant to spite you, but time after time, he proved himself right

you always find your way here, always as the opposition. this time, though… you won’t bend

“if the odds are in your favour,” you begin experimentally, downing the drink in one gulp and then pouring one for jongho. “would you like me to join hands with you?”

now this is new- jongho’s eyes slightly widen at your remark

“ah… how the tables have turned,” jongho started to chuckle lowly

you let him be for a moment, scoffing internally

jongho had earned the right title over the years since he stepped up as ceo of his father’s company

a monster of capitalism

known to be the owner of many questionable businesses, borderline illegal, evading taxes and having slush funds unashamedly, heavily involved in money laundering- the list goes on and on

a true financial villain- a true monster, yet… being able to get away with everything, unscathed. that’s who jongho is

he has bribed every soul who would dare go against him. and those who do not take the bribe? he makes sure they kneel

and you… you’re pretty close to being his next target- he did say you would look pretty on your knees for him

“is business not going well?” he asks, faking innocence. he knows

you are a rival company- seo enterprises. everything that jongho’s company is, but… more legal

your forefathers were once partners, and they created their independent companies without a hint of rivalry

they were the definition of true brothers (and partners in crime)

the difference between the values of your company came when you and jongho stepped up as ceo

you had made it your life’s mission for your company to earn a good reputation and moral image, while jongho seemed to have made it his life’s mission to simply conquer the world, no matter what or who the stepping stone is

“business is well,” you narrow your eyes at him. “it’s about the land in ilsan.”

jongho doesn’t seem surprised to hear that. it is always like this- he knows what moves you will make

“ah, the one where we are about to construct a gallery?” jongho asks

“we?” you repeat. “that land is a shared property. why have you not consulted us before going ahead and signing the documents? how could you begin this project without us-”

“the other option is selling it to the government because of the redevelopment project,” jongho leans forward, “and you know how much i despise the government getting their grubby hands on what’s mine”

you know he is right, and he knows that you are not here to argue about why he started this project without telling you

jongho relaxes back, considering all his options before deciding to strike. “you’re worried about your involvement in that project, is that right?”

“well,” you mirror his position, “i would like to keep my reputation clean unlike yours.”

he chuckles at that, proud of his deeds. “yeah, well, that’s going to be hard, sweetheart. that gallery is going to be an optimum location for storing money.”

you know what he means. the gallery is going to display priceless pieces of arts. those pieces are but a means of illegal transactions for the elites

you swallow your anger, taking a deep breath. “i’d like to have my shares back, then. before construction starts.”

“uh…” jongho gets up, fixing his clothes. “you’re going to have to convince me for that.”

“please,” you scoff, but he only shakes his head, ignoring that because he knows this ‘please’ was wholly sarcastic

“try harder,” he smiles mockingly before turning his back to you and moving to the window, putting his hands in the pockets of his pants and staring down at the city

a tyrant- that’s who he is

he expects to get the maximum output out of anything he set his eyes on, no matter the cost- money or lives

you join him by the window, pointing at a few spots. “that’s where people held protests against your company last week,” you tell him. “apparently, you have been exploiting labourers too.”

“that’s what they think,” he spits. “i gave them more than they deserve. they just never learn to accept. they never get pleased.”

you look at jongho- he sounds like he is saying the truth. he has the art of sounding like a victim at times, thus justifying his actions

“doesn’t all that venom in your heart make you dizzy?”

jongho glances at you, his lips threatening to curl into a smile at your words

“doesn’t it get tiring, pretending to be moral?” jongho asks, trying to read your guarded eyes 

“there’s no pretending. i never claimed that i was full of morals, mr. choi,” you sigh. “i just wish for my business to have a legal foundation.”

“and it will, you don’t have to worry,” he responds, curling a section of your hair that had been resting on your shoulder in his fingers

you don’t flinch at his touch. you’ve known him since the beginning, and nothing he does fazes you anymore- except when he leans closer experimentally, locking eyes with you and trying to read you

“you will get your shares, but you will have to convince me,” he says, voice barely above a whisper

it is a challenge. it is always a challenge with choi jongho

“why are you so obsessed with me?” you laugh this time, swatting his hand away

he joins, and everything almost seems normal for a moment- just two friends with too many inside jokes, except… it only lasts for a moment

“how can i convince you?” you ask, sombre

“you know what i want from you, y/n,” he replies in a similar tone

he wants a true partnership, except his idea of a partnership is where you bend to his will (and so is yours)

“don’t turn this into a legal battle, jongho,” you warn, “i would hate to summon you to court.”

“don’t turn this into a petty rivalry,” he counters, “you will benefit from this project. you reputation won’t be harmed.”

“i don’t want my name next to yours,” you tell him in all honesty and you think you see hurt flash in his eyes

“that is not possible,” jongho declares. “our companies are not mentioned without each other. we are fated like that, you and i.”

that is true. no one dares to touch the two of you, so you two have always been alone

there is no one you both can trust. there is no one next to you 

except the two of you are always together, wherever you go, be it business parties, political dinners, or high-profile events

you can only trust each other, because despite knowing everything about each other’s business, despite being at war with each other

you are always honest with each other- honest about your intentions and purpose

there is no one next to you because you two are always together, leaving no space for someone else

do you hate that? not really. does he hate that? he’s not sure

“you can buy my shares from me,” you start, “or you can shift them elsewhere. i can handle whatever loss comes with that.”

“or… you can let it be and use the revenue for something ‘moral’,” he taunts and silence envelopes the room

“no matter how much you try to maintain a clean image,” he starts, gentler this time, “you cannot undo the damage your forefathers have done to your company, y/n. seo enterprises will always be known as the company that exploited the weak to get to the top.”

you don’t wince at that, though your heart aches to hear that

“just like your company. except you are continuing in their footsteps,” you say

jongho nods, watching how your shoulders are curling inwards

“you are not weak, y/n, stand straight,” he almost scolds, taking you by surprise 

you find yourself straightening at his words, confused to see how conflicted he looks

“you are the strongest person i know,” he tells you, and he means it. “i just don’t get why you are atoning for their sins.”

“i don’t know either,” you smile in defeat. “i just am.”

“well, if you ever get tired,” he gently places his hands over your shoulders, “i am here for you. you can lean on me.”

you lock eyes with him, scanning his face. his smile seems genuine

the way he kisses your forehead makes your heart melt

when he embraces you, you lean on him physically

and you almost give in, except…

“i can lean on you, huh?” you say, soaking in the warmth of his body, taking as much as you can before you continue 

“so you can end my career, merge our companies and crown yourself king?”

you look up at him, finding him smirking

just like you thought

“not a chance, choi jongho.”

“how can you see right through me every time, y/n?” he laughs loudly as you smack his chest and move towards the sofa to grab your purse

“i’m the only person who knows who you are,” you tell him. “you can own the world, but you will never own me.”

his eyes glint almost dangerously

“challenge accepted,” he says

you mockingly wave goodbye before exiting the room

choi jongho never changes, and neither do you

but somehow… it gets more addicting and electrifying to be with him, to compete with him and to stand with him

even though he is a tyrant, and you are everything that he is not

The Tyrant and His Defiant Ally

[firstkanaphans]

That one ask/reply shitting on THK and GMMTV in general is really.... something. 🙃 I think you and @invisiblegarters already expressed most of my thoughts on that but I just want to add that based on every Jojo interview I've ever watched (and I've watched a lot of them during Only Friends), I never once got the impression that he's being forced to worked with branded pairs and, as you pointed out, it's actually kind of insulting to suggest he's having these pairs forced onto him and has to write stories he actually doesn’t want to tell just to suit those pairs. During OF I saw a lot of talk (from the same circle of people who are now criticising THK before a single episode has even aired) about this too (about Jojo probably being forced to keep SandRay and TopMew together just because the actors are branded pairs) but everything always pointed to the opposite being true: Jojo (along with the other OF writers) wrote a script where 2 of the couples are together at the end and one is not. And he chose the actors according to that story, NOT the other way around (he chose branded pairs to play those 2 couples because he always planned on them to be together and therefore felt branded pairs would fit that kind of a story/ending).

Not to mention I thought Jojo being a simp for Khao was common knowledge, but I guess not? But yeah, uh, anyone that has ever watched any of the Soonvijarn videos knows this. It was only a matter of time before Jojo got to work with Khaotung tbh (and clearly wants to keep working him and First, given he chose to work with FK immediately after he already worked with them). Directors have faves and it's very clear Khao is one of Jojo's.

The only thing I will agree with that original post on is the fact that it'd be nice to see some of these branded pairs act in projects solo or with a different partner. However, that doesn't have to mean they should stop working with their branded pair altogether. I don't see why they couldn't do both. Though honestly, for me the main determining factor is what the actors themselves feel happiest doing. There are certain actors who definitely do not/did not enjoy being stick in a branded pair and that was visible from the moom. I'm glad for those of them who are no longer in branded pairs, since that's obviously not something they wanted. However, FK are not one of those pairs. From everything I see of them right now, they both feel happy and fulfilled working with each other. The moment they stop feeling that way, I will stop wanting to see them act in shows together as a couple. People seriously need to stop being so vehemently against branded pairs as a whole. (There's also a lot of hipocrisy going around: Branded pairs are totally fine if it means these people will get to see a pair like MaxTul play a couple in multiple series, but as soon as a GMMTV branded pair acts in several BLs together, branded pairs are suddenly bad and are holding the actors back. Double standards much?)

[This ask was sent in response to this post, but I would just skip down to @invisiblegarters addition because it's the only part worth reading]

Yeah, there’s an anti-GMMTV branded pair movement going on here on Tumblr and I don’t understand where it came from or what its purpose is considering early GMMTV pairs such as OffGun and TayNew are exempt from criticism. 

It seems to come down to just a fundamental misunderstanding of the genre. In romances, the two main characters end up together. If they do not end up together, it’s not a romance. It does not matter if the two main characters are played by a branded pair or not. This is just how romances work. 

Not to mention that these shows are conceptualized way before they are ever cast and are oftentimes based on novels, so the casting has literally no bearing on the story at all. In the case of THK specifically, Jojo has been working on that script for at least two years. FK weren’t even a branded pair back then!

To suggest that queer characters are only getting happy endings because a company is trying to sell fan meets is incredibly insulting to not only the queer creators who make these works, but also the queer viewers who want to see a happy ending for themselves on screen.

[trashrattt]

I totally think Code lyoko should have it's talked about reboot, mostly because

- when it came to Carthage, the most canon explanation from Franz himself, the explanation only lasts about 1 minute and 25 seconds, and nothing else comes of it

Sure, we knew why Xana was created, but like, Franz never really said Xana stopped it as it was his main intended purpose, why Xana was made to begin with, so like, that's a real issue in canon consitering Franz wanted to stop the project but never got to consitering Xana gained autonomy and all

And like, Carthage was kind of hinted at to be a bad thing too, you'd think that could be a real issue in universe

- spent 3 whole seasons building on this one character only not to do much with it at all and give him a really bad rep in universe afterwards

Okay, you know me, I like William an abnormal amount, but with all things considered, he wasn't a character to begin with, neither was a plot device imo

Yeah, he absolutely has no personality, argue with the wall if you need to

So like, yeah, he got posessed, but then what? Sure he was used to try to throw Aelita into the Digital sea, but like, tarantulas could do the same thing with those long ass arms, they could just use them as bats

And you've literally seen megatanks push her closer to the digital sea when she used a energy field as a sheild of sorts, so really, what was the point of him to begin with of other monsters could do the same thing no problem

And after a whole season of dawdling around, the writers rushed the whole "set him free" arc after ignoring it for basically the whole season, like there wasn't any episodes besides cold sweat where the characters actively try to break him free, you'd think there would be a little more give from the characters considering how #depressed Yumi was

(and yes, I know the show says, "I made ___ program" but let us see the FAILURE!!!!)

Even then, when he came back, the characters all decide "fuck this, you ain't shit to me" and dropkick him back to his life without any support, like dude lost months of his life without something he either remembers or blanked out on

- character writing in season four

Okay, this isn't really a reason why, it's more of saying "Why did you make your characters worse, we deserve better"

Because Odd in season four just became an absolutely terrible person, man

Constantly throwing his freinds under the bus just for some scheme he pulled or literally abusing the fact that he knows about Lyoko as a point to say to the others "This is why we're friends!!!1!@1!!" Even though at this point their friendship is downright terrible, like to the point where they just want to get Lyoko dealed with so they can fall apart like a poorly put together cup with scotch taped all over it

Imo nobody seemed to like each other as opposed to season 1 and 2 where they talked casually, like they had an actual friendship going on, not like "so, what's new on Lyoko, I want this shit dealt with today..." they were actual friends who did stuff together and had fun, I miss that :<

Anyways that was a more personal take, but season 4 just leaves a bad taste in my mouth with that rushed ending of theirs

Uhm oops, this was a long rant of what I dislike about the show, I was supposed to make this post simply to tell you guys what I'd propose for a continuation

Here's what I'd do:

Consitering Carthage was an abandoned idea from the depths of season 2, we build on that again

I'm imagining a non-terribly written Evo mixed with the chronicles, like bitch I actually love the idea of Ulrichs dad being tied in with Carthage simply because like, it would make so much sense (absolutely don't pull a chronicles though making EVREYONES mothers under the sun being tied in, that was stupid)

I'm also thinking, the antagonist we have is still a program, but it isn't Xana like in main series

Sure, they're simular, but it's a remnant from Carthage that has the same ideas as Xana, but worse (this is all first draft, but that's like the main idea that could work)

Also, give Will and actual personality this time, not just this "I'm soooooo sad" attitude that any traumatized character has, he has the potential to be COMPLEX!!!!

Kids cartoons nowadays are getting complex so don't say "Oh no they can't, it's a kids cartoon"

Anyways I'm hoping they build off of Carthage because that would be a PERFECT continuation aauaghh

Enjoy (?) My unexpected rant, idk

[tinfoil-jones]

Gravity Falls: For Your Own Good, Ch. 6

Summary: A few years after moving to Gravity Falls and having his lab built, Stanford Pines happens upon his estranged twin brother, Stanley. He mentally prepared himself to be suffocated by his brothers neediness all over again - what he wasn't prepared for was Stanley walking right past him like he didn't even notice him.

Rating: M for language, violence, and adult implications

Preface: Dialogue only, but some actions will be annotated for clarity. Cross-Posted on AO3 Here

First - Prev - Next

CH.6

“Good evening, Stanley.”

“...”

“I can see in lieu of speaking, you have instead chosen to communicate with an obscene hand gesture- two obscene hand gestures. I'll excuse your immaturity because I understand you might be feeling… upset.”

“Upset? Me? What could I possibly be upset about?”

“I understand your current state of… lodging is making you apprehensive. On account of being involuntarily committed.”

“You not picking up sarcasm doesn’t surprise me. And this isn’t an involuntary commitment; this is an unlawful abduction and confinement. I have enough experience with both to know the difference.”

“You what?”

“Ask me whatever stupid questions you’re about to ask, but I refuse to stand up. This is literally the first bed I’ve had since prison; and in that bed I had to worry about bed bugs, dirty needles, poisonous snakes… and Jorge.”

“What was that last thing that you just whispered to yourself?”

“Don’t worry about it. Now, what do you want, Doc? You here to scan me again? Get me to take more drugs? Ask me weirdly personal questions like your hot friend?”

“I want to talk. I may have come on a little strong when we crossed paths in town, in order for you to truly understand where I’m coming from, I’m going to have to give you some context in place of your lost memory.”

“Please tell me you’re not about to give me the tragic backstory of you and your missing twin.”

“Listen, Stanley, you don’t remember this; but we had a falling out ten years ago.”

“Aaand you’re doing it. Yeah, that’s pretty much what I was expecting. Fine, I’ll play along.”

“We were in our senior year of high school. You ruined a project of mine, and it cost me my dream college. We had a fight, and you got- you left home after that.”

“Man, dunno why I’d do something like that.”

“You were scared of me leaving you.”

“Did a shitty thing, and ended up alone anyways. That's something I'd expect from me.”

“And then you tried to justify it and say there was a silver lining-.”

“I’m sorry.”

“...What?”

“I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that.”

“... Where’s your excuse?”

“Hm?”

“Your excuses- your reasons? You cannot just apologize- so casually.”

“Sure I can. I just did. You don't accept it, that’s your right."

“...You don’t mean that.”

“Naw, I’m pretty sure no one deserves to be betrayed. I’m sorry you were.”

“Saying sorry doesn’t make it okay.”

“Didn’t say it did. Nothing can- it’s already happened, and there’s no changing it. You don’t wanna forgive and forget? I won’t make you.”

“And you’re going to simply… move on?”

“Look, PhD, I can’t tell you why your real twin did what he did, or what was going through his head when he did it. But he did the wrong thing to the wrong person, and paid for it. It’s too bad you had to pay for it too.”

“You are-.”

“Can see why you’d get us mixed up though. All I do is ruin things, too. Maybe if that thing with your project hadn’t happened, you wouldn’t be a wackjob who carries a tranq gun with him everywhere and abducts people off of the street.”

“I’m not mixing anything up. You are exactly who I keep trying to tell you that you are. You’re just not you right now.”

“I’m never anybody but me. You feel better now? Get all of that out of your system?”

“Now that I have told you what separated us-.”

“I’m gonna take that as a no.”

“Can you fill me in on the years that followed?”

“Doc, a lot of what I remember is like smoke - it’s hazy, and it’s hard to hold onto, can you be specific?”

“How about we start with something tangible?”

“Like what?”

“I am going to slip a paper and a pen through the slot in the door. Write down a list of the people who’ve tried to kill you.”

“You sure?”

“Yes. You told my associate a number of alarming things during his interview with you, and he reported that a not insignificant number of those things revolved around people trying to kill you.”

“A lot of them still want me dead, you know. If they figured out where I was, they might raid this place. It’s not too late to just… let me go, and we can pretend none of this happened. I’m not gonna hold a grudge against you, it's clear to me you've got issues because your real twin is either dead or hiding in Cuba.”

“They can try. They’ll fail.”

"Gutsy. We coulda been friends if you weren't insane."

"...We were."

"If you say so."

To be continued...

[eva-does-her-best]

I honestly agree with your reasoning here. I've experienced both sides but the discussion always gets aggressive when talking about lesbians, when it is about gays it is treated more lightly or as a joke.

And I've only really had this conversation with trans women, which was really alienating because it was back when I still thought I was one. They would get so upset at me for saying men could be lesbians, specifically when it was about trans men, if I just said men they took it as an absurd joke but if I said trans men they were very quick to call it transphobia.

And no matter if it was about gays or lesbians, it was always "that is not real, it's internalized transphobia", it made my blood boil, I hated the paternalistic tone on that like they know better. "I used to feel gay for liking men because I still did not accept that I was a woman" ok, that is your own experience stop projecting onto others. "I mean if someone says they are a woman and gay I will accept it I won't tell them they are not, but I believe it is internalized transphobia" alright, so you are quite literally as the saying goes in our language 'telling the dumb that he's right', gotcha, yeah really cool of you.

And also, I don't know if it is a coincidence but isn't it reminiscing of something that they get so aggressive and defensive when it comes to trans men but so paternalistic and infantilizing when it comes to trans women? Folks can we stop reinventing the binary please?

im just saying people don't get anywhere near as pissed off at me for saying that gays can be women, genderfluid, multigender or nonbinary as i do when saying lesbians can be men, genderfluid, multigender, or nonbinary. this isn't because lesbians literally can't be those things, this is because of rad fems and how many people are getting wrapped up into their rhetoric. this is because of lesbian separatism. this is because of "political lesbianism". it doesn't make it right. this is politically charged and has nothing to do with real lesbianism.

these beliefs aren't even being pushed by actual lesbians most of the time: most terfs and rad fems are not actually lesbians, but women who pathologically avoid men at all costs. most rad fems and terfs are NOT lesbians, but "political lesbians", where their stances on gender and sexuality have everything to do with regressive, restrictive politics and nothing to do with queer identity. they're just looking for a girl's club to join to bitch and whine about how much they hate men. this has nothing to do with lesbianism.

there's a reason i don't hear anywhere near as many people saying "female gays are invading the queer community and putting us in danger!!!" as i do people saying that lesbian men are an active threat to the lesbian community. this has nothing to do with the truth and everything to do with rad feminism, terfism and lesbian separatism. remember that the first targets of lesbian separatism were butches, cis trans or otherwise. this has nothing to do with preserving the lesbian community. it has nothing to do with doing what the lesbian community wants. never forget that the first people targeted by these individuals were butch, gnc, trans, and genderqueer lesbians.

this is just "women safe, men dangerous" at its finest. there's a reason why people are so much more angry and militant about lesbian men than there are people who are this destructive about female gays. yes people are shitty about female gays but the treatment toward male lesbians is so much more widespread and viewed as good and right. and it's not because that's what the lesbian community wants- it's because so many lesbians suck up to rad fems for approval. so many lesbians secretly think that rad fems and terfs are "right" and want their approval. so many lesbians suck up to those beliefs and espouse them because of how aggressive these people are, but just because they're firm in their beliefs doesn't make them right.

you don't have to behave this way about male and mascs lesbians, because none of this has anything to do with actual, real lesbianism.

[nauseaspecters]

i don't enjoy the fandom depiction of chuuya being the 'second choice' character trope all his life.

unedited rambling under the cut. i'll structure my text posts better when it's not 4am

he's experienced and underwent through a lot of situationd of abandonment and betrayal, with unreciprocated attachments, definitely.

for the sheep, although they were almost like his family, since they were all he knew for 8 years, they viewed him as a weapon and a tool. stormbringer elaborates and adds complexity to this later but as a basis, it was true that they viewed this young teenager (chuuya) as more of an indispensably strong weapon to protect their survival, yet dispensable as a human if chuuya were to 'fall' to the other side. so much so that they jump to the chance to stab him (literally.) it's true chuuya does experience varying levels of not feeling he is doing enough.

however, to dwindle his character trope down to being "the other woman" type trope or the "constant second choice" is a misunderstanding of not only his character, but the characters around him as well. i see this seen most with dazai, mori, kouyou and the sheep.

in the case regarding dazai: chuuya is often labelled as the second choice to oda, and sometimes people use it as a point to pity chuuya in. however, it should be considered that chuuya and oda, and what they meant to dazai, cannot be compared. their relationships and significance to dazai were not in the same realm, and to think of it as "dazai chose oda over chuuya" ignores all the other factors as to what their relationship is built on. also, dazai choosing to leave the pm is not choosing oda over chuuya, it's hardly even related to chuuya, and especially not some decisive battle. it was dazai who was impacted by his dying friend's wishes and words, and he left for many reasons. ugh i will speak forever so i'll make that a different post. TLDR: chuuya is not the second choice to 'oda'

in the case regarding kouyou: i don't see this as commonly and i'm honestly a sucker for chuuya angst, but i don't think it's also right to think of chuuya as a second choice to kyouka in terms of kouyou's affection/care. firstly, kyouka is a young girl, and kouyou identifies herself in kyouka, with a deeper attachment of obsessive protection and instillment of what kouyou experienced. since kouyou was hurt by trying to reach the 'light', and she sees that same self in kyouka, kouyou shields kyouka in an unhealthy manner and isolates her from what she think will ultimately fail her. chuuya is a boy and from what we know, kouyou most likely does not see chuuya in the same style of projection and reflection. she's set to mentor chuuya in a very professional PM standpoint, and most likely does not form that deeper neurotic attachment that she has to kyouka. yes, chuuya calls her ane-san, but that doesn't mean they're necessarily also the closest. so to say that chuuya is the second choice to kyouka is strange, as it's not even a choice. chuuya is not in the picture for the type of internal bond that kouyou feels towards kyouka.

some additional stuff bdcause im rambling:

there's some weird extreme perceptions of kouyou as either someone that doesn't care about chuuya and a very close older-sister like doting on chuuya (the latter being a popular interpretation). i think kouyou cares to some extent, yeah. i think a lot of the pm that interact more extensively cares about each other to some extent. however, we do need to remember this is in the context of the PM. it's an inherently toxic and unstable environment, rooted in , well, Crime and power dynamics. kouyou was probably not the perfect mentor to chuuya, and nor are they some close healthy protective sibling-type dynamic either. the PM is rooted in abuse and a dark environment, it's unrealistic to think that a relationship we barely see much of is sunshine and rainbows.

ps: also sometimes it's not the matter of being a second choice he is just not a choice. as sad as that may sound.

[danicat9]

Have You Eaten?

Leo Valdez x Reader Smut

Warnings: smut (MDNI!), female reader, penetrative sex, oral f receiving, unprotected sex (this is fictional, please practice safe sex), generally nsfw content, Leo is 21 and the reader is around the same age, google translate Spanish, not proofread

Your POV:

It was late and Leo still had not come home. This wasn't out of the ordinary for him, we had been best friends since I came to camp around the same time he did and we started dating when we were seventeen. I knew his habits, so I knew he was likely caught up in a project, but being demigods, part of me still worried about if he was okay; especially now that we had an apartment not far from camp which meant attacks might be on the table.

It was getting close to 10pm, and while Leo regularly pulled all nighters in the shop, I knew he hadn't brought dinner with him today and the likelihood of him stopping to go get dinner was slim. I finally decided to bring him dinner and check in to make sure everything was okay.

On the outside, Leo's shop looked like a run down mechanic shop that looked unassuming to mortals. On the inside, it was something completely different. Leo ran a shop fixing things for other demigods and occasionally even the gods if it was something his father didn’t have time for. Festus stayed here too and Leo was constantly giving him upgrades to the point I was sure Festus could probably do literally anything.

When I walked into his shop, Leo was no where to be seen but the lights were all on so he was here somewhere.

"Leo!" I shouted.

No response.

"Leo, where are you? It's me!" I shouted

Still no response.

I continued wandering through the shop until I saw a pair of legs underneath a machine that was on a lift. Leo probably had headphones on and I didn't want to startle him and make him hit his head, so I went around to the other side of the machine and started tapping out Morse Code. He wouldn’t hear it, but Leo was so in tune with his machines that I knew he would feel the vibrations and notice it was code.

Like clockwork Leo slid out from underneath the machine and took off his headphones.

"Amor!" He said with a grin pushing his goggles up.

He wasn't wearing a shirt, he was covered in grease, and he had a new hole in his pants on the knee. His curls were absolutely wild and the only clean part of him was where he had his goggles on.

"Rough day?" I laughed.

"Yeah." He sighed.

"Have you eaten?" I asked.

"Yeah, a little bit ago."

"What time?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"Like noonish."

"What time do you think it is now?" I asked trying not to laugh.

"Judging from the question, far from noon."

"Babe, it's a little past 10 at night. You need to eat." I said pulling his dinner out of my bag.

"You're the best, mi amor." Leo said excitedly.

He had probably hyper fixated on the machine and forgot he was even hungry. I sat down with him at his work bench while he ate his dinner like he hadn't had a meal in days.

"I would hug you, but I'm covered in grease and who knows what else." Leo explained.

Part of me didn't care because every time he took his shirt off my brain just stopped functioning properly, but the part that was still functioning knew I was wearing a white shirt. I had to stop wearing light colors when visiting the shop.

"What are you working on today?" I asked when he finished eating to get my mind off of how hot he looked.

"A machine for Hermes. It helps with larger deliveries to Olympus... like gorgon heads, y'know, larger things one might want to ship up there." Leo laughed. "It's broken and I'm trying to get it up and running asap."

"Oh." I said disappointedly.

I was hoping that he would come home, but projects for the gods, especially gods like Hermes were important.

"What's wrong, mi vida?"

"Nothing, that sounds cool but frustrating. Are you any closer to a solution?" I asked trying to cover up my disappointment.

"Amor, don't change the subject, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just figured you would come home with me, but if it's for Hermes that's a big deal." I said.

Leo suddenly grinned at me.

"I'm going to call it a night and come back in the morning, Hermes can wait." Leo said inching closer to me, "I'm going to shower and change here so I don't track all this grease into the apartment."

I wasn't sure how Hermes was going to feel about the delay, but I was happy to hear Leo was coming home now. Hermes was an easier going god anyway though, I’d be more worried about Ares or Hera. Leo got up and headed towards the shop's small locker room and I sat on his bench waiting for him. I sat there for about 3 minutes before I realized what Leo had been insinuating and I jumped up to follow him.

Leo was already in the shower and I quickly stripped off my clothes and slipped in with him.

"Look who finally decided to join." Leo laughed.

"Next time you've gotta spell it out for me." I laughed.

"It's okay, it gave me a chance to get the grease off, that really was gross. I genuinely have no idea why there was that much grease on that thing. I’ve gotta give Hermes a crash course on machine maintenance." Leo laughed, "but, now I can focus on you." He said lowly while grabbing my hips.

Leo could go from 0 to 100 in seconds and this was one of those moments. He went from joking and laughing to having me weak at my knees in seconds.

He tipped my chin up to kiss me and let his other hand wander my body. I put both of my hands on his shoulders for stability because I knew I couldn't trust my knees or the slippery shower floor. His lips traveled from mine, across my jaw, and to my ear where he grazed his teeth against my earlobe.

"Missed you so much, amor." He whispered

I let out a sigh and Leo took this as a challenge. He turned me around so my back was against his chest and wrapped his arms around my waist. He moved my wet hair off my neck and started biting and sucking at my neck until he found my sweet spot. I bit my lip as a small moan threatened to escape my lips.

"Let me hear your pretty sounds, mi amor." Leo growled.

With one arm still around my waist holding me against his body, he let the other wander up where he ran his fingers over my ribs before wrapping his arm around my chest. He grinded against me and I instinctually responded by pressing my ass against his hips harder. Leo groaned and held my body against him even tighter.

I could feel how hard he was already, and it only made the pool of heat between my legs worse.

"Please." I whined, desperate for any sort of friction.

"Please what?" Leo asked moving the arm he had around my waist lower letting his hand get dangerously close to where I needed him the most.

"Touch me, Leo."

Leo smiled against my neck before lightly dragging his fingers through my folds. I arched my back and tried to buck my hips against his fingers but he held me still against his body.

"Already so wet for me," Leo said kissing my ear, "I'll have to fix that for you, amor."

Leo's hands were by far one of my favorite parts of his body. His long calloused fingers basically had a mind of their own. The fine motor function he had from being able to work on even the tiniest parts of machines made his fingers quick and relentless. Leo and I started dating after the war and we were each other's first everything. We shared our first kiss on the beach and we lost our virginity to each other in Leo's bed in Bunker 9. Neither of us knew what we were doing, but gods did we learn quick, especially Leo. His problem solving skills were top tier and he had an innate talent for figuring out how everything worked, including people apparently. He was embarrassed to admit it at first, but he figured out sex the same way he figured out machines, by paying attention to every last movement and reaction and then using trial and error until he found something that worked. Leo very quickly became so in tune with my body that he knew how to get me to orgasm better than I did. Unless he purposely drew things out, I knew the second his fingers went between my legs he was going to have me undone and moaning his name in minutes.

Leo quickly started to rub calculated circles with his thumb while I held onto the arm he had around my chest for dear life. My nails left little crescent shaped marks in his copper skin and I moaned out his name. Without warning he pushed a finger into me and began meticulously curling it inside of me against my g-spot.

"F—fuck Leo." I moaned.

"That's it, such a good girl for me." Leo said as he kept up a relentless pace.

My knees were growing weaker and Leo could tell so he adjusted his grip on me to support my body weight more. The hot water was still pounding down on us and he didn't want to risk me falling.

"Gods mi amor, if I would've known how soaked you were I wouldn't have spent my evening under a machine." Leo groaned as he added a second finger.

I whimpered and let my head fall back against his chest. He immediately took the opportunity to kiss my forehead.

"My beautiful girl, come on, let's see how many I can get out of you tonight before I have to carry you out to the car."

Leo added a third finger and I knew I was done. As much as I tried to prolong and enjoy it, I couldn't and he knew it too. My walls clenched around his fingers and my knees grew even weaker. At this point I was barely supporting my own weight.

"Thats it, let go. I've got you amor." Leo said quickening his pace even more.

A somewhat embarrassingly guttural moan escaped my lips as white hot pleasure poured over my body and made my head feel warm and fuzzy. Leo didn't slow his pace down and grazed his teeth against my ear while saying the absolute dirtiest things imaginable as he worked me through the orgasm. He finally slowed down and gently removed his hand from between my legs and turned me around to face him again. He put his fingers into my mouth and grinned as I tasted myself on his fingers.

"Taste that amor?" Leo asked, his voice now huskier than normal, "I must be the luckiest man ever. You brought me dinner and dessert right to my shop."

Before I could react, he took his fingers out of my mouth and pressed my back against the cold tile wall. He dropped to his knees and looked back up at me with a devilish grin. My brain was still foggy, but I thankfully had enough sense in me to grab onto his wet curls before he started kissing up my thighs. He spent what felt like an eternity sucking and kissing my thighs before moving up to my lower stomach. He placed a kiss on my lower stomach and each hip bone before running his tongue over my already swollen clit.

He tossed one of my legs up on his shoulder to get a better angle and held onto my hips so tightly I knew there would be bruises tomorrow. Right now all I cared about was his mouth. Leo was great with his fingers, but he could spend hours with his head between my thighs and he has even tried, I’ve always just stopped him when it got to be too much. Leo Valdez was the definition of pussydrunk.

He grazed his teeth over my clit and immediately began sucking. My grip on his curls tightened and he groaned against me. The vibration sent shivers up my spine and I arched my back off the tiles of the shower.

"L—Leo, fuck, feels s'good!" I breathed.

Leo hummed against me while he pushed his tongue inside of me. As he moved his mouth his chin nudged my clit and I cried out his name again and again.

Leo held my hips firmly as I tried to buck them and he was drawing me closer and closer to the second orgasm of the night. At this point all I could muster up were desperate pants and moans.

The familiar build up was close to breaking and Leo knew it, but he didn't let up. Between sucking and licking and the occasional graze of his teeth, I was a mess above him. Leo went back to sucking at my clit, but without a warning he removed one hand from my hip and shoved two fingers inside of me. My walls tightened around his fingers and soon after, a second, and more intense, orgasm took over my body.

My cum dripped down his face and he eagerly kept sucking and licking while pumping his fingers in and out of me at a relentless pace. I finally had to gently push his head away before he finally gave my overstimulated pussy a break.

Leo's eyes were dark with lust as he licked his lips and stood back up. He knew he had to give me a break, but he wasn't any less needy.

"So fucking hot, amor." He whispered while placing wet kisses all over my face and neck.

His hands roamed my stomach and chest before both of his hands made their way to my breasts. He kissed me sloppily and squeezed my breasts in his hands and I moaned into his mouth. He let his hands keep wandering where they found their way to my ass. He gave it a quick squeeze before leaving his hands there to rest while he kissed me.

"One more time?" Leo murmured.

"Gods, if you don't fuck me right now Valdez I'm going to kill you." I panted.

I was still very overstimulated from the last two orgasms, but feeling his hard cock against my ass and stomach for this whole shower was making me desperate. Leo may only be 5'6", but that was the only small part of him.

"That's my girl," Leo whispered, "need to feel you so bad."

Leo's hands dropped to the back of my thighs and I took the cue to jump. Leo caught me and pushed my back against the shower wall. I wrapped my legs around his waist and Leo took his time kissing my forehead, nose, cheeks, and lips.

"I love you so much, mi amor." He murmured.

I whimpered as the tip of his cock brushed through my folds teasing my entrance.

"Please Leo." I moaned.

"Please what?" He asked with a grin on his face.

"You know what." I said in frustration bucking my hips against him, "You look so goddamn hot without a shirt and then you tease me like this, asshole."

Leo laughed against my lips and kissed me.

"I know, I can't help it, amor, I like to take my time with you."

Leo's tip rubbed tauntingly against my clit, his precum mixing with my arousal. I bucked my hips towards his again and he firmly pushed them back. He then finally lined himself up with my entrance after what felt like an eternity and slowly began to push himself in.

Leo was very vocal during sex, he was already moaning and he wasn't even halfway in. "Fuck, mi corazón, s'like you were made for me." He moaned when he finally bottomed out.

He didn't move for a few seconds and let me get used to his size before he began a slow pace.

"Leo!" I moaned as he pushed in and out at an agonizingly slow pace.

"Louder, amor." He encouraged.

I called his name out louder and dug my nails into his back. He picked up his pace and I let my head fall back against the tile.

"That's my girl, let me hear you." He grunted.

He let one of my legs down so only one was wrapped around his waist for a better angle and it felt like he was even deeper if that was even possible. He pressed his chest against mine and picked up his pace. His hips snapped relentlessly into mine as he whispered a mixture of dirty words that made my pussy drip for him and 'I love you' over and over. Somewhere along the line he also had switched to mostly Spanish as if having his cock buried inside me preformed a factory reset on him.

The sounds of pants, moans, and wet skin slapping against wet skin filled the shower and it sounded downright sinful. Leo let his head drop to the crook of my neck and shamelessly moaned out my name like it was a prayer and I was his religion.

My stomach felt the familiar build of a third orgasm and Leo could feel me clenching around him. He groaned and slowed down.

"Leo, I'm so close, don't stop." I whimpered.

"I want to enjoy this longer, amor. It’s been a long day, I’ve missed you." He said kissing my forehead.

He slowed to a halt, but didn't pull out. Instead, he pulled my other leg back around his waist and shut the water off. With his cock still buried deep inside of me, he carried me out of the shower to a bench next to the lockers. He lowered us both down so he was on top of me and gently pinned my wrists above my head with a grin that told me I shouldn't plan on walking anywhere any time soon. I nervously looked around though because I didn't know how he was planning to do this on a bench of all places.

"Don't worry, amor, this bench is bolted to the ground." Leo laughed recognizing instantly what I was thinking.

“You’ve thought this through.” I laughed

“Many times.” He said with a grin.

With my wrists pinned above my head he leaned down to kiss me while he started to move again. His hips snapped into me so hard and fast, I couldn't even concentrate on kissing him back. He continued his pace and moved his head to suck at my neck.

It didn't take long to get me close again and I hoped he would let me finish this time.

"L—Leo, please, fuck, I'm so cl—close. Pl—please let me finish." I stuttered.

"I know, me too, amor." Leo grunted.

I could feel his pace getting more erratic and the knot in my stomach was so close to snapping.

"That's it, that's my good girl, cum on my cock." Leo growled.

His skin was heating up and his hair was steaming so I knew he wasn't far behind me so I finally let the orgasm take over. Like clockwork, I felt Leo twitch inside me and his hips falter before he came hard inside of me.

"F—fuck, Y/n." He moaned as he worked us both through our highs.

He finally slowed to a stop and peppered kisses all over my face.

"Te amo, mi vida." Leo murmured.

Leo stayed put while we both caught our breath, then he slowly pulled out. At this point my legs were shot, so Leo carried me back to the shower to finish the original task of cleaning up. He gently cleaned us both off placing little kisses everywhere he could reach. He then carried me out of the shower and helped me dry off and he was grinning the whole time.

“What?” I finally asked after he had been grinning at me for a while.

Leo pointed at my legs and I looked down and gasped. I hadn’t thought much about how long he had spent kissing and sucking at my thighs, but now I was. Little bruises formed the letter “L” on one leg and the letter “V” on the other leg.

“Leo!”

“What?” He laughed.

“It’s hot outside! I’m going to have to wear pants now!”

“Hey,” he said putting his hands up, “just making sure everyone knows the Bad Boy Supreme has been here.”

“What are you twelve?”

“Twenty-one, but I’m dyslexic so it’s hard to tell what the birthday cards said this year.”

“Leo!”

I tried to be mad at him for making me suffer through pants in this weather, but he made it hard to be mad. He was also constantly up to stuff like this. A lot of times he played it off as a joke, but I was beginning to think part of him did it because he was used to rejection and I was the most consistent thing in his life. That was a conversation for another day though.

When we were both finally dressed and ready to go home I was exhausted. Leo was too, but he knew he just ruined any chances of me walking to the car on my own and he didn’t seem like he wanted to drive.

"Let's stay here tonight, amor." Leo sighed.

I agreed and he carried me up to his office where he had a bed just like he did at Bunker 9 for instances where he pulled all nighters working, or instances like this.

The second he put me in the bed I was out cold. I didn't wake up until I heard voices in the morning.

"I stayed here all night, something is majorly wrong. I'm going to need a little longer."

"Take as long as you need, it's just Percy trying to ship things to Olympus and stir the pot because Zeus is too scared to do anything to him now anyway. As funny as that may be, it's not exactly priority mail.” Said a voice that sounded like it was Hermes, “Also, you might want to button your shirt up to your collar and fix your hair, Valdez. I think Aphrodite is planning on coming by today because she’s been going on for days about something she broke that your dad won’t fix for her. She’ll walk out of here trying to plan the next biggest wedding since Percy and Annabeth’s with Hera if you’re not careful.”

"Fuck. Fuck Hera. Shit, don’t tell her I said that she’s as my mom would say ‘un poco loco’."

“You don’t have to tell me that. I know.”

I laughed and rolled over in Leo's bed. That was his problem to deal with.

[inkskinned]

one of the things that's the most fucking frustrating for me about arguing with climate change deniers is the sheer fucking scope of how much it matters. sweating in my father's car, thinking about how it's the "hottest summer so far," every summer. and there's this deep, roiling rage that comes over me, every time.

the stakes are wrong, is the thing. that's part of what makes it not an actual debate: the other side isn't coming to the table with anything to fucking lose.

like okay. i am obviously pro gun control. but there is a basic human part of me that can understand and empathize with someone who says, "i'm worried that would lead to the law-abiding citizens being punished while criminals now essentially have a superpower." i don't agree, but i can tell the stakes for them are also very high.

but let's say the science is wrong and i'm wrong and the visible reality is wrong and every climate disaster refugee is wrong. let's say you're right, humans aren't causing it or it's not happening or whatever else. let's just say that, for fun.

so we spend hundreds of millions of dollars making the earth cleaner, and then it turns out we didn't need to do that. oops! we cleaned the earth. our children grow up with skies full of more butterflies and bees. lawns are taken over with rich local biodiversity. we don't cry over our electric bills anymore. and, if you're staunchly capitalist and i need to speak ROI with you - we've created so many jobs in developing sectors and we have exciting new investment opportunities.

i am reminded of kodak, and how they did not make "the switch" to digital photography; how within 20 years kodak was no longer a household brand. do we, as a nation, feel comfortable watching as the world makes "the switch" while we ride the laurels of oil? this boggles me. i have heard so much propaganda about how america cannot "fall behind" other countries, but in this crucial sector - the one that could actually influence our own monopolies - suddenly we turn the other cheek. but maybe you're right! maybe it will collapse like just another silicone valley dream. but isn't that the crux of capitalism? that some economies will peter out eventually?

but let's say you're right, and i'm wrong, and we stopped fracking for no good reason. that they re-seed quarries. that we tear down unused corporate-owned buildings or at least repurpose them for communities. that we make an effort, and that effort doesn't really help. what happens then? what are the stakes. what have we lost, and what have we gained?

sometimes we take our cars through a car wash and then later, it rains. "oh," we laugh to ourselves. we gripe about it over coffee with our coworkers. what a shame! but we are also aware: the car is cleaner. is that what you are worried about? that you'll make the effort but things will resolve naturally? that it will just be "a waste"?

and what i'm right. what if we're already seeing people lose their houses and their lives. what if it is happening everywhere, not just in coastal towns or equatorial countries you don't care about. what if i'm right and you're wrong but you're yelling and rich and powerful. so we ignore all of the bellwethers and all of the indicators and all of the sirens. what if we say - well, if it happens, it's fate.

nevermind. you wouldn't even wear a mask, anyway. i know what happens when you see disaster. you think the disaster will flinch if you just shout louder. that you can toss enough lives into the storm for the storm to recognize your sacrifice and balk. you argue because it feels good to stand up against "the liberals" even when the situation should not be political. you are busy crying for jesus with a bullhorn while i am trying to usher people into a shelter. you've already locked the doors, even on the church.

the stakes are skewed. you think this is some intellectual "debate" to win, some funny banter. you fuel up your huge unmuddied truck and say suck it to every citizen of that shitbird state california. serves them right for voting blue!

and the rest of us are terrified of the entire fucking environment collapsing.

[spec-s]

hi *transgenders your lester*

[what-am-i-doing-in-this-fandom]

I was wondering, does Fiddleford still have a wife in your Halloween au? And if yes, does she know about him being a vampire?

I've been sitting on this ask for a bit, but I think I should finally answer.

In my AU, Fidds is actually pretty old-- not like ancient or anything, but surely a few centuries?

Anyway, so way back, when he was human, he did have a wife and a kid!! But when he got bit and became a vampire, he actually outlived them :(

He tries to think about them often, but it's definitely one of the things he chooses to erase when he creates the memory gun

[grzybjek]

A collage I made for one of the characters from my newest story. His name is Kundel by the way hes an absolute manfail and a menace