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hihello-pinky · 1 year

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Sight (3)

Suna Rintarou x F! Reader

Sometimes, it takes losing someone to finally see them. He wished he knew this before, but Rintarou had to learn this the hard way.

WARNINGS: mentions of abortion, mentions of suicide, smut (fingering, oral [f receiving], lack of protection, rough sex, creampie) please let me know if I missed any!

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. This in no way represents my views of the original anime/manga characters.

WC: 6.3k Genre: Angst, Romance, Hurt/Comfort Other Tags: Forced Marriage, Developing Relationship, Denial of Feelings, Emotionally Repressed, References to Illness, Angst with a Happy Ending, + more to be added.

Here’s the long-awaited part 3!. Thank you all for waiting and for the love and support!!! Kindly reblog and comment if you liked it! ALSO, I’m not sure how many parts are left.

part one part two part three part ?????

leave me love?

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

“I don’t know what game you’re playing with you agreeing to my parents’ crazy demands but just so we’re clear, there’s only one ending to this fucking marriage: divorce.”

Suna watched as you squirmed in your wedding dress. The two of you had just arrived at the new house, and he already hated it. First, he hated how he had just been forced into marrying a girl he barely knew. Second, he hated how you’re acting as if you’re the victim of the whole ordeal when this wouldn’t have happened in the first place if you just agreed to get an abortion.

And lastly, he despised how you looked so damn beautiful in that wedding dress.

The fidgety and nervous girl during his wedding night is nowhere to be seen as you’re standing in that very same room, your eyes looking straightly at him and your voice firm as you repeat, “I want to file for divorce.”

“I heard you the first time,” he responds as he clicks his tongue. “But I won’t do it.” He’s trying to be careful, unsure of where you’re actually getting at. A few nights ago, you just confessed about being in love with him and now you want to divorce?

A small laughter leaves your lips, regaining his attention. “Rin,” you call his name and as usual, hearing that one syllable from you stirs something inside him. “You don’t have to worry about anything. We’ll talk to your mom and dad, and I’ve already spoken with the family lawyer. We can always co-parent.”

“No.” Maybe if he’s not busy getting annoyed about your mind game, he’d have noticed how your eyes are squinting, how your fingertips are slowly rubbing against your temple. “There will be no divorce unless you explain to me everything about this sudden shit you’re pulling.”

“Rintarou, -”

“I’m so damn tired, Y/N!” What surprises Suna is not his sudden outburst. It’s the quick realization that for the first time in five years, he’s addressing you by your name. “Are you playing with me? You confess, you make me feel guilty, you make me want to apologize, but now you want to divorce!”

You shake your head, hoping that the action will also help in easing your headache. “Why are you reacting like this, Rin? Isn’t this something that you’ve wanted since day one?”

It’s the same question he has for himself. Sure, he entered the room ready to apologize for the past years and maybe try for any way to salvage the relationship you both have, but here you were, offering him the easy way out and yet he doesn’t want to accept it.

Instead of answering you, he takes a deep breath to calm himself down. “Listen, I don’t know what shit you’re pulling but I’m serious when I say I’m not signing any papers unless you talk to me and explain what the hell’s going on.”

“Rin, I’m tired,” you say as you sit on the bed dejectedly. “I’m so, so tired.” Your voice breaks at the last word as you bring your knees to your chest, hugging it before beginning to sob. This isn’t the first time that he’s witnessing you cry but the way the sobs come out of you as if they physically hurt and how your body is shaking... it’s a sight that he does not want to see.

Other times he would have chosen to leave you alone and his mind is currently shouting at him to go back towards the door and leave the room but his body is doing the exact opposite – his feet bringing him closer to you. The next thing he knows, he’s crouching down in front of you at the bed, hands hovering over you but not touching. “What is it?”

As soon as the question leaves him, he feels silly. How were you supposed to answer him when the sobs wracking out of your body barely stop? Suna rakes a hand through his hair, unsure of what to do. He looks up at the ceiling in frustration. “Fuck, Y/N, tell me what’s the matter. Why the hell are you asking for a divorce out of the blue? Is this because of what happened a few nights ago?”

“I’m scared.” Your small voice surprises him. “I’m scared, Rintarou.”

He diverts his eyes back on you but your face is still buried behind your knees. “Look at me.”

He watches as you slowly acquiesce and the broken look on your face tugs at his heart. Your eyes resemble shattered glass and it’s as if all the broken shards are piercing through his chest at the moment. “I’m scared.” A hiccup. “I’m so damn scared.”

Suna shakes his head as he gazes at you, seemingly unable to break the eye contact despite the feelings it’s currently bringing him. “I don’t understand.”

Tears well in your eyes again as you begin to explain with a shaky breath. “I went to the hospital a few days ago to get checked about my recurring headaches and blackouts. I received the test results yesterday and they don’t look good. I’m so scared, Rintarou.”

Every word that escapes from your mouth makes his heart feel heavy. “Then why are you asking for divorce?”

You’re silent for a while as you break eye contact and he can tell that you’re carefully deliberating your words. The suspense is making him feel uneasy but he also knows he can’t force and rush you. “I’ve always known there’s a possibility that it would happen to me too. But then, Doctor Hirai said that its progression is mainly stress-induced. I need to be in an environment which will be better for my mental and subsequently, my physical health. More importantly, I’m scared that what I will go through will hurt the children in the long run.”

“So, you prefer that you’d suffer alone?” He asks without thinking.

At that, you turn to face him again and smile sadly. “I’d still suffer alone even if we remain married, right? At least once we separate, I’ll be in a much healthier environment. We won’t have to pretend in front of the children anymore. You’ll have your freedom and I’ll have my peace.”

Suna can feel himself frowning, knowing how there’s truth in what you just said. He sighs deeply before speaking, choosing his words carefully. He opens and closes his mouth a few times, his attempt frustrating him. In the end, he settles for three words instead. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

--- *** ---

Hearing those words from your husband makes your heart clench. You bite your trembling lower lip and close your eyes, finally letting the tears fall once again. You hated this. You hate having Rintarou see you cry.

What happens next surprises you. You feel gentle fingers wiping away your tears, the touch soft and delicate. You crack your eyes open and convince yourself you must be dreaming.

“I know this is long overdue and it can’t undo all the things I’ve put you through in the last few years, but I’m really, really sorry. For being a horrible person, for being a terrible husband, for being a bad dad... I’m sorry for what I did a few nights ago.”

You hear the unspoken truth from his last sentence: I’m sorry I can’t reciprocate your feelings. Instead of dwelling on it too much, you try to wipe your tears. “You weren’t much of a bad father,” you say and see how his eyes slightly widen in surprise. “For what it’s worth, I appreciate how you’re trying to be a good dad to the kids.”

A frown makes its way to your husband’s handsome features before he scoffs bitterly. It makes your heart clench. “Why do you have to be so kind?” He asks quietly and then looks at your face as if searching for something. “I’ve been such a horrible person to you and here you are, telling me that I wasn’t a bad father to our children.”

Your heart softens a bit at his words as new tears start to pool in your eyes. “I’m just speaking the truth, Rin.” He’s still studying your face and you look at his in return. This is the first time you’re both staring at each other like this again; the last being those five months that you two were on good terms. “It gives me comfort, knowing that you’ll continue to be a good dad to Risa and Ryuu once we separate.”

At that, the frown that has dissolved from his face returns, and in a much stronger note. “I still don’t think having a divorce is necessary. It will not do much and that word may even bring trauma to the kids.” It’s amazing how quickly you’re able to understand where Rin was coming from. And almost immediately, you’re brought back to that day.

You watched as Rin was almost done watering the newly-planted seedlings in the backyard. A week prior, you had shyly asked him if it’s okay to have a small garden and without much thought, he agreed. You wanted to do the task yourself but he had insisted he do it instead, saying something along the lines of Jiri scolding him if she ever finds out he let a pregnant woman do a laborious task.

So, there you sat on one of the newly-bought reclining chairs, watching as Rin worked. It’s been a few weeks since the both of you started to be on good terms and the more you got to know him, the more it became harder for you to ignore how handsome your husband truly was. Especially at that moment, with him wearing loose sweats and a thin plain white shirt, arms flexing as he held the watering host.

After more minutes of trying to distract yourself from staring at Rintarou, he turned the water system off and went to join you, taking the vacant recliner beside you. “It’s crazy how my parents didn’t even think of having some work done on the backyard, considering all the efforts that were made in the house’s interior.”

You looked at the backyard and imagined how it would look like once your garden blooms. “Maybe they wanted to at least give you the chance to decorate it as you want?”

He let out a dry laugh and then straightened on his seat. “Then, I want to have a small playground there.” You trailed where his finger was pointing and saw that he was referring to a corner of the yard.

“A playground?” you asked, surprised that he would even suggest one. You both had been careful with the topic about your children and what would happen after they were born, and this was the first time that he was bringing up something related to it.

“Just a slide and a swing set would do, to be honest.” His eyes were still trained on that same spot, as if he’s already picturing the item he’s planning to place there. You hummed in response, savoring the peaceful silence that was beginning to take over.

Rintarou was the one to break it. “Who in your family is a twin?”

You blinked at him in surprise. “Oh, um, my dad.”

He nodded, taking in the information. “And you have siblings?”

“Yes,” you answered softly. “Two step sisters. I’m the middle child.” He turned to you and as expected, there was question in his eyes already. “My mother died shortly after I was born. When I was around ten years old, my dad re-married.” You looked at the corner that Rintarou had pinpointed for the playground. “She was a lovely lady, my step-mom. I just wish my father had met her earlier. It would have been nice to grow up with both parents around.”

The scoff that left Rin’s mouth surprised you. It was your turn to look at him with curiosity. His jaw clenched a little before he spoke. “My parents were mostly absent while I was growing up. I’m an only child and since my parents both settled on a city away from their hometowns, I never got to develop a relationship with my other relatives and children in playgrounds never seemed fond of me.

“You know what the best part is?” He spat the word “best” and it almost made you flinch. “The times they would spend with me would always end up with them threatening each other to just divorce and I would just be there, having a front-row seat in watching their fights.”

He was silent after that as you stared at him. You couldn’t imagine the parents that Rintarou was referring to was the same sweet couple who apologized to you on behalf of their son during the first time you met. But then again, you knew part of the reason they forced the marriage was because they wanted to punish him. You picked your words carefully. “I couldn’t imagine how difficult that was for you. I’m sorry that happened to you.”

Rin only shrugged. “Don’t worry. I got accustomed to it quickly. Whenever they would fight, I just had to show them some achievement from school and they’d be all happy and proud and forget that they were just about to rip each other’s heads off a few seconds before. It was an effective study tool, I guess.”

You frowned at his sarcasm, picturing a young Rintarou working hard on his studies, hoping to appease his fighting parents.

You close your eyes as you try to compose yourself. No matter how long it has been, no matter how many times you remember that afternoon, the memory still hurts you. “Rin, I understand your sentiments and I don’t want to invalidate your feelings and experience. But you should know that it’s not the same situation. Weren’t you the one who told me that our marriage is supposed to end in divorce?”

He sighs frustratedly. “You know damn well that that was anger-driven. It’s not the same now. I care for the kids and I don’t want them to get hurt. I don’t want them to have the same relationship I have with my parents.”

You truly do understand your husband and you know he has his reasons. But so do you. And between the two of you, it’s a fact that you’re the one who cares more about your children. So, with a deep breath, you share the part of your explanation that you omitted earlier. “Rin, I’m about to lose my sight.”

--- *** ---

“I don’t understand, aren’t pregnant women only supposed to have cravings for food?” Suna asked as soon as the traffic light turned red. It was eight minutes past ten in the evening and you had just left the mall after completing a buzzer-beater shopping for an item that you swore won’t allow you go to sleep if it weren’t in your hands.

The item in question being a copy of your favorite author’s latest book which you had asked him to pick up for you earlier that day. He had been busy at work and asked Yuto to buy the book instead. When he handed you the package once he got home, the delighted expression he expected on your face was nowhere to be seen and in its place was an irritated look. “This isn’t the correct edition; it’s the first one. What I want is the most recent release – the 10th anniversary edition with a special chapter!”

He was glad his years of playing volleyball in high school gave him good reflexes or else he wouldn’t have caught the book you threw to his face. “Okay, okay, I’ll ask for an exchange tomorrow.”

You had looked at him as if he had grown two heads. “Tomorrow? I won’t be able to sleep at all if I don’t get to read it tonight!”

He inwardly cringed at the sound of your loud voice. You were already in your sixth month of pregnancy and contrary to what Jiri had told him, your mood swings were still a menace to deal with. So, he checked his watch and with a heavy sigh, announced that he would make a quick trip to the bookstore. When you insisted to tag along to make sure he gets the correct edition, he didn’t put up a fight.

“It’s not like you can eat a book,” he mumbles irritably again, looking at the still-red traffic light. “And that saleslady was a bitch.”

Beside him, you just let out a hum as you sniffed the pages of your precious book. “You’re lucky the smell of new books is one of my favorite scents in the world. I’m feeling too happy to entertain your negative ramblings. God, I can’t wait to get under my comforter and begin reading this.”

You continued on with humming a soft melody. Rintarou sneaked a glance at you before the lights turned green. You had returned the book to the paper bag and the image of you hugging it to your chest as you looked out the window was enough to make him smile, something that he had been doing a lot since the two of you began spending a lot of time together.

When you arrived home, he quickly jumped in the shower as he assumed that you changed into night clothes and got under the comfort of what used to be his bed alone. The king-sized bed had become a place for two, ever since you had moved into the room some weeks prior. It didn’t even take him long to shower but by the time he joined you, you were already asleep, barely even able to get the book out of the paper bag.

After a quiet laugh, he carefully plucked it from your hands, placing it on the bedside table. He never enjoyed reading and couldn’t find the appeal in doing so; he’d much rather watch shows or play video games. However, when the two of you got to talking about things you enjoyed, you were so passionate about your love for books. It was your step-mom who had introduced you to it, you said, and it was a special bond between the two of you as your sisters weren’t readers.

Suna’s eyes softened as he recalled what else you had shared to him.

It was your step-mom who read books to your father all day and all night after he went totally blind. Then, it was subsequently you who read him books after she took her own life.

“That can’t be.” Suna is pretty sure that he misheard you. He shakes his head in disbelief. “Maybe you need to get a second opinion.”

He’s quick to hate the look of defeat in your eyes. “I’m sure the results will be the same. I don’t want to get my hopes up only for them to be shortly crushed after. Please don’t make this harder for me anymore.”

When he replies to you, he hopes the frustration can’t be heard in his voice. “Okay, I won’t force you if you don’t want to. But, let me be there for you.” You give him a wide-eyed look, expression full of surprise. “I meant it when I said I’m sorry to you. I want to...” He sighs heavily, wanting to break eye contact but he steels himself to hold it. “I want to try. To actually try for this marriage to work. I know it may be too late and I’ve been such a dick and an asshole to you. And honestly, there are still a lot of things I need to process but let’s not make these big decisions abruptly, okay? I don’t want you nor the kids to suffer a lot.”

Suna figures this must be the most honest he’s been with you since the children were born. He just hopes you’ll give him a chance. However, he won’t even blame you if you decide not to trust his words.

You’re the one who breaks eye contact and don’t respond to him for a second, a minute... and when the silence lingers on, he carefully calls for you. “Y/N?”

He watches you close your eyes, as if preparing yourself for what to say next. When you open them, they’re welling up with tears but you give him a small smile that tugs at his heart. “For what it’s worth,” you say, “Doctor Hirai said that there’s a possibility that it can only be a temporary blindness since it got detected early.”

Suna doesn’t even hold back the sigh of relief that he lets out. He holds your hands and stands up from his position in front of you. You follow suit, making the two of you face each other. He’s so much taller than you that you have to crane your neck up while he looks down at you. There’s a barely noticeable smile on his lips. “We’ll get through this, Y/N.”

--- *** ---

“Hey, Y/N, you didn’t come here the past few weeks.” Hajime greets you as he arrives at where the parents sit in the playground. You both watch as Kenta joins Risa in the sandbox, her face brightening in joy.

“I think my daughter has a crush on your son,” you comment before turning to him. “Nice to see you, Hajime. I was, ah, quite busy in the last weeks.”

He hums in response and looks at all the kids playing. “Is Ryuu not feeling well today? I don’t see him around.”

Before you can respond, your son makes an appearance, and you notice a happy look on his face. This prompts you to look at the person who’s holding his hand only to find that Rintarou is already looking at you with an unreadable expression on his face.

“Oh,” Hajime says as he stands up from where he’s sitting beside you. “Rintarou, right? Risa and Ryuu’s father?”

Rin breaks eye contact with you as he looks at Hajime’s outstretched hand. He shakes it quickly. “Yeah, also Y/N’s husband.”

The awkward moment is shattered when Ryuu groans. “Dad! You’re squeezing my hand tightly!” Rin must have loosened his hold for your son pulls his hand away before looking at you. “Can I play now, Mommy?”

You’re about to nod when you notice something on the corner of his lips. You fight a smile and put on your ‘inquisitive mom’ look. “Why did it take you long to come here, Ryuu?”

His eyes, which looks so similar to his father’s, widen and he bites his lip, quickly shooting a look at Rin who you can tell is trying not to smirk.

“Ryuu?” You ask again.

He pouts and breaks. “We saw an ice cream man on the way from the restroom and Dad bought me a cone.” He bites his bottom lip to stop it from trembling. “I’m sorry.”

You inwardly sigh before leaving the bench to crouch down and match your son’s height. “Isn’t ice cream time after we leave here? What would Risa feel when she finds out you ate ice cream without her?” Ryuu only gives you a guilty look and sensing that he’s about to cry, you ruffle his black hair and kiss his forehead. “Don’t do it again, okay? Now, go and play.”

He nods and mumbles a quick promise before he goes to play with some kids in the rows of see-saws. Once you see him off, you return to sit on the park bench. You see Hajime talking to the other parents a few meters away, not even noticing him leaving.

“He quickly excused himself the moment you bent down to talk to Ryuu,” Rin explains as he takes the place where Hajime had been seating. You’re surprised he even offers an explanation, remembering the venom in his voice the last time the two of you had been talking about your friend.

“I see.” You watch the children play. Ever since that talk in the bedroom three weeks ago, things have been slowly changing between you and your husband. So far, he has kept true to his words and you can see that he’s trying to make things work between you two. And part of it is that he wants to be more involved with your children. The twins had been excited this morning when they found out that their dad is tagging along to the playground.

“I saw Ryuu look longingly at the ice cream vendor but he told me he’s not supposed to get ice cream yet. I bought him a cone anyway and told him to tell you that the line in the restrooms was long.”

You swiftly turn to look at your husband incredulously. “Did you just tell my son to lie?”

He smirks and shrugs. “Don’t worry, it seems like he’s brought up well. He can’t lie at all.”

Still, the scandalized look on your face doesn’t go away. “Rintarou!”

The smirk doesn’t leave his face and does something that surprises you. He laughs. Not the condescending or hateful way he had laughed at you in the past five years, but a genuine laughter. Before you know it, his fingers are softly straightening the lines on your face. “Stop worrying too much, Y/N. The kids will be fine.”

--- *** ---

[ left the hospital already but dropping by osamu’s for some onigiri ]

[ ok. tell me when you’re home ]

[ okay ]

[ actually, don’t. i’ll just pick u up otw home. stay there for a while? ]

[ um, ok ]

[ cool ]

[ also, tell samu to stop being a fucking prick & resume talking to atsumu. i’m not their messenger for fuck’s sake ]

A small giggle leaves your mouth as you read Rintarou’s last message. Osamu looks at you curiously after he bids goodbye to a customer. “Usual order?”

You nod at him. “But can you prepare them for later? Quick change of plans, I’ll have some food for here first.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Waiting for someone?”

You shake your phone at him. “Rin says he’s picking me up.”

The way his eyes widen almost makes you laugh. “Really?” You know he must be confused, after all, you were just here a few weeks ago, looking as stressed as ever because of your husband.

“Yeah,” you suddenly feel like blushing so you look down at your phone instead. “He also says you should talk to Atsumu again because he’s getting tired of being your messenger.”

Osamu then laughs. “I bet you just censored all the curse words in his message.” The way you suppress a smile is telling enough. “I see you two are on some kind of truce? What happened?”

You contemplate for a while. Sacha is the only one you have confided to about the happenings of the past few weeks. But then again, Osamu has been nothing but nice to you and you figured it wouldn’t be a problem if you tell him about Rintarou’s resolve. “Well... Rin said he wants to try to make our relationship work.”

The gray-haired man is quiet for a while. “Did he now?”

“Yeah... Do you think it’s a bad idea, Osamu?”

The man shrugs. “Not at all. I mean, you look a lot better than you did the last time you were here.” His statement makes you smile. “So, I take it things have been different since then?”

You nod. “Yesterday, he tagged along to the kids’ weekly trip to the playground then after that, he took us to lunch in the mall and then went shopping the whole afternoon. Risa and Ryuu were so happy.”

Osamu almost drops the glass he’s been wiping and he sends you a strange look. “Today is Tuesday, no? So that makes yesterday a Monday?”

“Uh huh. Why?”

“And you’re saying Rin spent the day with you and the kids?”

You nod, not knowing where he’s getting at. You look at him quizzically and can tell that he’s trying hard to suppress a smirk. “What’s the matter, Osamu?”

Finally, the man lets out an amused chuckle. “Nothing,” he says as he begins preparing your food. “It’s just that if there’s one thing that Rintarou Suna is constant about ever since he started working, it’s that he never takes a day-off on a Monday.”

--- *** ---

Suna tells himself he’s not keeping track but it’s the fourth Friday in a row that he’s spending home. Usually, he’ll be out in some bar to drink and maybe look for a woman to bring to a close by hotel or to a bathroom, if he couldn’t wait. But ever since he has decided that he wants to try to work things out with you, he’s been skipping the routine.

He goes to your bedroom and sees it empty; you’re probably in the kids’ room. He takes that time to jump into the shower. Suna is a man with needs and missing his week’s end routine means one thing: he’s horny. Many times, he has been tempted to go back to his old way and ring someone for a booty-call. You didn’t need to find out and if you did, surely you would understand, right? Old habits die hard, after all. Whenever the temptation comes, he shakes his head and pushes the thought away, knowing that it’s a terrible idea to pursue.

So, he’s left with doing something that he never thought he would do again – getting himself off in the bathroom with his hands, like a pathetic lonely teenager.

Suna’s not sure how long it takes him in the shower. He’s afraid that his hand might not work for him anymore next time. It’s not helping that he’s spending more time with you, the girl that he has always found attractive, even during the times he hated you.

When he exits the shower, he finds you in bed already, leaning against the headboard as the blanket covers the lower half of your body. You’re wearing a silk set of pajamas and the strap of your top is sliding down on your shoulder. He gulps. He has taken you before, but why is he suddenly nervous?

“Are you okay?” Your voice breaks him out of his inner thoughts. You must have felt him staring at you because your eyes are still trained on your book as you ask him the question.

“Yeah...” He moves to the closet to grab a shirt and pair of shorts. He quickly changes into them and once he pulls the shirt over his head, his eyes meet yours looking at him.

A faint blush colors your cheeks as you return your gaze to your book. He finds himself smirking and decides to call you out. “You know, it’s completely normal for a wife to watch her husband changing.”

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He doesn’t speak until he’s on the bed beside you, getting a whiff of your sweet scent. He leans closer and tries to peek at your book. “What are you reading?”

He knows his closeness unsettles you for you quickly shut your book close. You turn to him instead and bites your lower lips as soon as you realize that there’s barely any distance between your faces. “Can you move, please?”

“Why? Am I making you uncomfortable?”

You squirm and Suna has to admit that he’s having too much fun with this. Sure, the past few weeks you’ve been spending a lot together has been good, but this is something different. There’s something about making you so flustered that makes him feel things he does not want to acknowledge yet. “I’ll take your silence as a yes, then.”

He’s about to move back, afraid that he might not be able to stop himself if he continues to tease you any longer, but before he can do so, you softly tug at his shirt. You’re not looking at him, your face turned away from him, but not enough to hide the redness on your face. “Hmm?”

“Rin,” the soft way you say his name almost makes him groan. “C-Can we...”

Fuck. Is this happening? “Yes, Y/N? Can we what?”

If it’s possible, your face reddens even more. “You know what I want to say.”

He chuckles and despite knowing he shouldn’t be taking too much pleasure from this, he does not relent. “I’m not actually sure. I need you to tell me exactly what you want, wife.”

You whimper at the word and finally say with a barely audible voice, “I want you, Rin.”

This time, Suna lets himself groan out loud as he tips your chin up so that you’re meeting eye to eye. “Are you sure, Y/N? I haven’t been with anyone since that day I shared my resolve to you. I’m not sure if I can be gentle at all.”

You nod quickly before speaking, your voice laced with desire. “Just take me, please, Rin.”

That’s all he needs to hear before he’s sucking marks on your neck, his hands quickly removing the covers from you. He ignores the thud of what he assumes to be your book hitting the floor. You’re just as eager as you tug at his shirt. He groans and removes the piece of clothing with the same urgency as you’re undressing yourself.

He maneuvers you so you’re lying completely on your back with him hovering over you, his lips busy alternating between your breasts. A sweet moan leaves your lips as his hand finds your damp center. He makes you come with his fingers alone before his lips are trailing down your body. The moment his tongue enters your pussy, you pull at his hair and the slight sting makes him growl.

“Please, Rin...” he feels you trying to close your legs and he slaps your thigh to keep you from moving. It seems to work as you stop and just continue to pull at his hair. It doesn’t take you long before an orgasm consumes you again and he laps at your release.

Suna pulls back and he watches you try to steady your breathing as he pumps his already hard cock. “Ready?”

The needy look you send him makes him groan. “Yes. Please, Rin. I need you.”

He growls out your name before sheathing himself inside you. “Fuck, your pussy is so fucking tight.” He doesn’t start off slow, his thrusts already intense but it seems like you don’t mind it either as you’re continuously letting out your sweet and addictive moans. Your hands clench on the sheet and he takes them, placing them on his back. He groans at the feeling of your fingers scratching and he finds that he does not mind getting marked by you anymore.

Suna busies his lips on your neck and collarbone as his thrusts become harder and faster, sounds of your skin slapping together echoing in your room. “Feels so fucking good,” he pants against your ear, making you clench around him tighter. He gets ahold of your legs and press them against your chest before his hips move with powerful thrusts against you. You’re moaning endlessly now, but not loud enough to cover the creaking sound of the bed and the headboard meeting the wall.

Sensing that you’re nearing your release, Rintarou sneaks his hand in between your legs and plays with your clit, giving it the last push before you’re moaning out his name and coming around him. It doesn’t take him long to follow after you, his hips stilling as he comes inside you.

You’re both panting and it takes Suna a few moments to compose himself before he’s pulling out, the both of you letting out hisses at the sensitivity. He covers his eyes, chest still heaving, as he says, “Fuck. I really needed that.”

--- *** ---

You can’t help but giggle at Rin’s statement. You weren’t a very sexual person but you knew it must have been hard for him, especially since he told you he hasn’t been with anyone during the past few weeks. You’re still both panting and you half-dreaded for him to leave you alone like he usually does in the past after sex.

However, much like he’s been surprising you with his actions in the past weeks, his hand reaches for his shirt and wipes you down. He’s sitting upright on the bed and you feel his eyes on your still naked body. You see him bite his lip as he watches you, the desire still evident on his face. The way he’s looking at you gives you the confidence to reach down and stroke his half-hard cock. And with an innocent smile that you know he’ll be able to see through, you ask, “One more?”

As it turns out, Rin’s stamina and your neediness leads to two more. You now lay on the bed, already cleaned up and changed, your eyes closed. You know that you’re breathing is soft and Rin must have mistaken it for you already asleep for you feel him carefully leave the bed.

You discreetly watch as he opens the bedside table’s drawer and takes out his cigarette pack and lighter. The soft steps of his bare foot are barely heard as he makes his way to the terrace. As soon as the door slides shut beside him, you close your eyes.

Baby steps, you tell yourself. At least he waited until you fell asleep. And even though he still didn’t kiss your lips tonight, the fact that he gave you aftercare was enough. You know there are a lot of things that Rin has to work on and he had told you himself that it may take a long time before he can be someone that he himself can be proud of. “Baby steps,” you whisper to yourself again.

Unbeknownst to you, it’s the exact same words that the man outside tells himself as he lights up what he decides to be his last stick of cigarette ever.

TO BE CONTINUED.

taglist: @warrior-of-justice @alisa--things @wolffmaiden @kurookinnie @simp-nerd-16 @alex-is-100 @k4g3hika @harukaaaaa172993 @themoonreflectsthesun @lvjycrow @cantbedenied @sweetlikerockcandy @sirimiripetrichor @yamiakari-chi @noideawhothatis @nervouscoffeetaco @lovemyfamily4ever-blog nervouscoffeetaco kamukayakmonyet yuqixidle ieathairs cantbedenied gariben beomeomgyu esmeisdrunk-blog 123j456l iluv-ace semitje @justablogforreblogs

#suna x reader #haikyuu angst #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smut #suna rintarou #haikyuu fic #haikyuu fluff #suna smut #haikyuu #haikyuu suna

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amcoffey · 4 months

Text

Feel Better

Trafalgar Law x chronically ill Reader

(It's a little bit of a "squint your eyes to see the romance" deal)

Summary:

You’ve never missed a dose. No matter what medicine you were on, you took it at the exact dosage and the exact time needed. This truly is no small feat. You have been on a lot of different medicines in the many years since your diagnosis. Pills, injections, IV infusions. It didn’t matter what it was: you never missed a dose. Well… Never until now. To think the only time you’ve ever missed a dose of your meds is because you got isekaied into One Piece. It sounds like a bad joke. Who is going to ever believe you? Note: One Piece belongs to Echiro Oda. Not I, a lowly fanfiction writer, who is just using his characters to cope.

Word Count: 3,249

CW: Chronic illness, medical jargon, descriptions of pain

Other tags: hurt/comfort, angst, second person perspective, probably out of character Law (ya girl hasn't caught up yet. I'm in Wano)

It didn’t matter what it was: you never missed a dose.

Well… Never until now.

To think the only time you’ve ever missed a dose of your meds is because you got isekaied into One Piece.

It sounds like a bad joke. Who is going to ever believe you?

You wouldn’t if you weren’t in that exact situation. You'd laugh if it wasn't for the anxiety raging within you. Sat in your uncomfortable seat, your leg bounced uncontrollably. You ignore the calculated gaze of the man in front of you.

“Can you please explain what happened?” He was quick to the point. There was no nonsense with him. He wanted to talk about what happened.

And, to put it simply…

“I can’t.” You didn’t.

A large part of you was hoping desperately that maybe if you prove you’re more trouble than you’re worth he’ll drop it. Law’s eyes narrowed.

“Can’t? Or won’t?” To your disappointment, he wasn’t giving up that easily.

“Both actually.” You answered, defiance in your voice as you glared at him. “Can I go now?”

“Nope.” His steely eyes don’t leave yours as he sits forward in his chair. “Not until you tell me what happened.”

“There’s nothing to say.” You lied. He let out a tight sigh in response.

“You cannot think I’d believe that given what happened.”

“Nothing happened.” You insist as you stand from your chair. Pain immediately shoots through your stomach that you do your best to ignore. It didn’t matter though because Law definitely noticed the wince. “Anyways thanks for the talk captain! I’ll be seeing you!” You move to push past him but you're stopped when he sticks his arm in your way.

“Sit down.” Law didn’t even move from his seat but effortlessly pushed you back in yours. “Where are you hurting?”

“Umm… Nowhere.” You were pushing his buttons, you knew you were. But you'd rather make the Surgeon of Death mad at you than discuss what he wanted to. Law sighed as he shook his head.

“You’re being stubborn,” You lowered your gaze to the ground. You can’t look at him. “Why can’t you just talk about it?”

Why? Why can't you talk about it? Because you were not in this situation. You couldn’t be! You were not about to talk about your chronic illness with Trafagalar Law of all people.

Because why would you tell him about it? You were in remission, you were fine. Whatever happened that got him so worked up was just… A fluke.

It had to be.

“Has this been an ongoing problem?" He speaks up again as he shifts forward. "Why haven’t you said anything about it?”

“In my defense,” You sat back in your chair and sighed. Your arms circle around your torso. You were looking everywhere but to him. “I didn’t think I’d be here for this long.”

“Defense noted,” He states. "But you are here. You have been." Given how uncooperative you’ve been, you expected him to start getting angry by now. And yet, when you braved a look at him, you saw his gaze was much softer than you were expecting. “I suggest you explain. You happen to be with the best doctor around. I can help.”

You scoff. Gaze darted back to the floor. That wasn’t the first time you’ve heard that.

In fact, you heard those words the day you got teleported here. You had switched health insurance and had to change gastroenterologist. That day you had your first appointment with him.

“I’m the best around.” He had reassured you. But when you started giving your medical history he cut you off. Just to tell you a bunch of basic information you already knew.

"Your condition is an autoimmune chronic disease. There is no cure."

As if you hadn't spent the last 10 years grappling with that fact.

And then when you got home you passed out and ended up in the Grand Line.

At first you thought the scariest part of showing up here was the fact you had no idea where ‘here’ was story wise. Back at home, you were reading One Piece. You had just read about the Strawhats getting an SOS call that told them about a place called Punk Hazard. But you couldn’t get farther in the manga. You were waiting for the next volume to arrive to your apartment. The ironic thing is it probably arrived by now.

But you were wrong to fear the characters and story. The actual scariest thing about being here was what you were dealing with right now.

“Hey,” Law’s soft calling brought you back to reality. A reality you wanted nothing to do with.

“I don’t want to talk about it, ok?” Your voice was smaller than you wanted it to be. He sighs and there’s some note of understanding in it.

“Have you ever thought that maybe talking about it will make you feel better?”

“It won’t.” You say with certainty. Then knowing he was going to have more questions you didn't want to answer you add “Talking about it reminds me it’s there.”

“Oh really?” His voice is still soft but there’s some exasperation behind it. “And the debilitating abdominal pain you were in not 30 minutes ago doesn’t?” Well… Shit. He had a point.

"I didn't say it was abdominal pain." You countered. It was the wrong thing to focus on. But it was something

"You didn't have to. I could tell." His lips quirk up in a victorious smirk. "Doctor. Remember?" You roll your eyes and return your attention to the floor.

"I'm not saying a word." The smirk he had on must have been wiped off by now but you didn't check. You saw in your peripheral as he dragged his hand down his face.

"Come on! You were practically paralyzed." You winced, this time not in pain. But because of the truth his words held. "You wouldn’t move, wouldn’t talk. Your face got deathly pale and patchy. You keep pretending that’s nothing but that… That was not nothing.”

Why do you even care? You bite back the question as your leg continues to bounce. It didn't matter why he cared. What mattered was he was right.

That's when the it hit you...

Paralyzing pain… Mouth sores that’ll make eating impossible. Fatigue that makes me wish I wasn’t awake. Your arms started to tremble, your leg bouncing more and more without your knowing. Vomiting up my meals, the malnutrition. the depression... I can’t escape it.. More and more thoughts flood your head, capturing all your attention. You don't notice Law look at you in concern, opening his mouth to say your name.

You shoot out of your seat, knocking it to the floor.

“I need to go.” You rush to the door. I need to leave this room, this world, I need to go, I need to go back!

Home....

You don't think as your legs move on their own. They're rushing you out of the room. But before you can even get to the door, Law is there. He has a hand on it, preventing you from leaving.

“Hey-” He tried to reason with you but you weren’t having it.

“No, please just stop.” You were shaking at this point. Pain was creeping back into your guts, expanding them, filling you with dread. You can feel your face grow paler, accompanied by patches of hot skin. “I-I need to leave.”

“No.” Law’s gaze hardened as did his voice. His eyes scan your appearance, studying you. You hate it.

"Stop looking at me!"

“You need to tell me what’s wrong with you!”

“What’s wrong is that fact that it took me 3 years to finally get a handle on my last flare up!" Panicked words were bubbling up faster than you could suppress them. "And now all that work was for nothing because I’m relapsing!” Tears were streaming down your face. The pain was unbearable and you squeeze your eyes shut. Your shaky legs were barely holding you up even though you wanted nothing more than to collapse.

You were so happy and so healthy for the first time in so long. This couldn’t end. This couldn’t be the end!

“Let me help you.” Law insisted. His hands brush against your elbows and you snap backwards. Your knuckles were white from how hard you onto your arms. You looked like you were holding yourself up.

“You can’t-”

“How do you know that?” He demanded. He had been doing a remarkable job holding back his emotions but they were starting to spill out too. “You won’t even let me try?!”

“You think you're the first person who wanted to try and fix me?!” The tears in your eyes made if hard to see him. “I got worse with my last doctor! And talking about all of this just reminds me of all the hell that is awaiting me because I've skipped too many doses!” Your body wracks hysterically. You lean again the wall to help you stand as pain ravages your guts. You don’t notice how Law is in front of you again until he gently grabs your hands. He lets them tremble in his.

You can't find it in yourself to stop. “For 3 years nothing worked and now I have something that works and it is about to be ruined because I’m missing too many doses because I’m in One Piece. The best thing I can do for myself is go home! I hav- I have to…” Finally, after holding all it in for so long, you break down into incoherent sobs. Law lowers your head onto his shoulder as you sob uncontrollably. He doesn't say anything. He just holds you against him, supporting you with everything he's got.

You hunch inwards, crying even harder as your insides twist in agony.

You know from much too much experience that once it starts, you can't do anything to make them better. You just had to wait the pain out.

Pathetic cries come from you as you think I can't believe I'm relapsing.

….

It takes so long for you to calm down. The pain subsided after a while but you were still crying when it did.

It didn’t matter to Law. He was patient. Neither of you move from your spots. It's only when you let out an almost relieved sigh that he moves to lift your head up. A gentle grasp on your chin has you tilting your head up for him. And a careful look told you he was studying your features again, looking for signs you were in pain. When he didn’t find any he exhaled a sigh.

You half expect him to spit some sort of sarcastic remark about how dramatic you’re being. But instead he asks: “Can we sit back down?”

You nod weakly and let him guide you back to the chairs. When you sit down you don’t look at him.

But you know he’s looking at you. But he doesn't say anything. Maybe he didn't know what to say. You wouldn't blame him.

It was quiet for a long time. Just the sound of your hiccups and sniffles.

Until finally…

“I had a terminal illness when I was a kid.” He broke the silence. He caught your attention with that. Your eyes slid over to him, eyebrows knitted together in worry. “It didn’t really get bad until I was a teenager. But by the time I was 10 I knew I was going to die. And when the symptoms finally showed I just knew that my life was over.” His gaze was heavy and his usually sardonic smile held so much sadness in it. “I can still remember the pain. I felt like my body would give out at any moment. Everything hurt.” As he spoke his hand drifted to his chest.

He continued. “I had come to terms with my death. But... There was someone who didn’t. And that someone saved my life.” When he looks back at you his eyes brighten a little. He brings his hand to the back of your neck and pulls you forward until your forehead rests on his. “I’m not giving up on you. I know you’ve felt it too, that your life is over before it could begin. It’s not. I promise you.”

You didn’t know what to say.

“How.. How are you alive?” You couldn't help but ask. If his disease is terminal... He gives you a smirk.

“I’m not lying when I tell you I’m a really good doctor.” You’re taken aback. “Is your illness terminal?” He asks and you feel his thumb draw circles on your neck. It's so calming you almost forget to answer his question.

“No, I don’t think so. I’ve never heard of anyone dying because of it.” You speak truthfully. “But it could ruin my intestines and cause them to stop working…And...” The tears start to return. Oh god…

“It’s alright,” He whispers. “That’s not going to happen.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I’m going to help you. I thought that was obvious.” He laughs lightly.

"Oh... Right." For the first time since he first sat you down, you smile.

“Do we…” You sniffed as another question popped up in your head. “Do we even have the same medical knowledge? O-or vocabulary?” Law tilted his head against yours.

“What do you mean?”

“Well... Do you remember when I said I was from a whole 'nother dimension?”

A scoff escapes from his lips. “How can I forget?”

“Yea so… Doesn’t that mean we have different knowledge?” You leaned back out of his reach, raising your arms. “Our worlds have such different histories. That means we have different medical history right? What if I tell you and you don’t even understand?”

“We’ll never know if you don’t tell me anything.” He gave a small smirk that was borderline infuriating. But you couldn't find it in yourself to be mad. You let out an exhausted sigh but nod.

“...Ok. I’ll talk.” Law gives a genuine smile and gets up to grab his notepad. When he sits down again you have his full attention.

Here we go.

It takes some time to explain your situation. You explain the name, the symptoms. You watch helplessly as Law writes down what you’re saying.

“Are these episodes you’ve been having today normal?”

“Only when I’m flaring up. That’s the abdominal pain. It feels like something is expanding in my guts, past their limits.”

“How do you treat your condition?”

“With medicine.” Medicine that I am more than certain doesn’t exist here. “Every 14 days I take 80 mg over 0.8 ml of Humira or Adalimumab. It’s an injection that goes either into your thighs or your stomach.” As you recite the information you're painfully aware of how it had been since your last Humira shot. Law picks up on this but doesn’t state the obvious that you’ve been on his ship for over 4 weeks. Your leg starts bouncing again.

Law doesn't look up from his writing but says calmly "You have nothing to fear."

Your leg bounces less after hearing that. And a smile grows on his face.

When Law finishes writing you have to ask: “Did you understand anything that I said?”

“Pretty much. I mean your disease is called something else over here. But there is documentation about these symptoms in our world.” He smirked as he glances to you. “And you thought I wouldn't be able to be help.” You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face.

“Wait.." You pause, taking in his words. "You think you can actually help?” Law scoffs.

“I’m pretty offended you thought I couldn’t. Do you really think so little of me?” You shrugged.

“I’ve gone through many doctors, captain. You aren’t the first person to act like you could be my savior.” He rolled his eyes and studied his notes again.

“You mentioned not having control over your illness for 3 years. Was that when you were diagnosed?”

For some reason that question startles you. “No, that was just when it last flared up. I've been diganosed since I was a teenager.” Law looked like his heart dropped as he looked back at you.

“How old were you?

“13.” You try to answer as if this wasn’t the most tragic part of your story. You were just barely a teenager and your whole life got turned upside down in the span of a day.

You could remember lying in that hospital bed. Your doctor spoke to your parents, using terms he didn’t bother to define for you.

"Their condition is an autoimmune chronic disease. There is no cure."

It took you a few years to truly understood what that meant.

“... I was 13 when I got rid of my illness.” Law softly spoke up. Your eyes found his.

“Really?”

“Yea.” He sighed heavily. “It’s insane to think that while I was curing myself of my condition, you were just getting yours.” There’s a distant look in his eyes. “But also… How you talk about this speaks to years of experience. I’ve never had a patient tell me their treatment plan in as much detail as you can.” You give a humorless laugh.

“What a useless skill I have.”

“Clearly not useless.” Law scoffs lightly. "And this disease. It's a problem with your immune system?"

"Yea. It gets confused and attacks healthy cells, mistaking them for unhealthy ones. I don't know the exact science of it."

“That's fine." He reassures you. "It sounds like you just need an immune system rewrite.” You lift your head up and look at him in confusion.

“What? To treat it I just need to block some of its functions so it doesn’t go out of control and attack everything.” You ignore the obvious that you don't know how that would work as you look at Law.

“I’m not talking about treatment.” He stands up and pats your head. “I’m talking about curing you.” The words pass through your ears and make you dizzy.

Cure… Me? I can be cured?

Law starts to walk away, going to a desk and rummaging through it as you process those words.

"...Why?" You speak up as you gaze in his direction. He turns to look at you.

"Why what?"

"Why are you helping me? Is there a catch or something?" He looks a little perplexed, like he didn't know the answer himself. But in the end he just shrugs.

"It's nice having you on my crew. You can offer insight that no one else can, being from another universe and all."

It felt like there was more to it than that. But you don't push it.

“And you can do it? Just completely rewrite my immune system?” Law just smirked and lifted his eyebrows in a cocky manner.

“You say our world is what… A series of comic books in your world?”

“I mean that’s putting it mildly but yea.”

“How far did you get in those comics?”

“Uh… Punk Hazard?”

Law laughs lightly and looks at you. “You definitely don’t understand what I can do.”

Author's Note:

My partner is convinced Law could fix me. So I wrote a roughly 3,249 word one shot about that fantasy. What a nice fantasy that is. Originally wrote this for ao3 but thought it might do well here. Hope you enjoyed this wildly out of character fic. It's my copium :]

#trafalgar law x reader #law x reader

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thecoffeelorian · 5 months

Text

Hold My Hand (Crosshair x Reader)

Premise: This is the third installment of...what should have been a one-shot, but here we all are a long while later, so it's probably best to just keep on going down this road to see where it leads. Anyway, Part One was Understanding and Part Two was Red Flags, so if you haven't checked those out yet, feel free to do so now.

Story Notes: One small thing about the tagging system, if I didn't say it already: I hope to make a few more updates for this series, so just in case I am, in fact, keeping the folks who want to read and reblog in the loop, please don't hesitate to do so when you are able. If I'm not...you're welcome to ignore this from here on in, and I'll eventually stop tagging you altogether. Thank you, goodnight, and good luck.

Special Notes: As ever, the header was made by @stars-n-spice. Also, little shout-out to @talesfrommedinastation for inspiring me to use a form of sign language between two characters, one that was originally invented for speaking in deep space when the commlinks didn't work, and also mostly inspired by something similar in "The Expanse".

No-Pressure Tags:

@momojedi @moonstrider9904 @calicos-clones @bigboypantstime @youreababboon

@tink1221 @ms-grassi @galaxyglittering @ah-prick24 @littlefeatherr

@donntmindmejustwandering @housepartyfortwo @beatthisbi @urmomsmattress @mysticalgalaxysalad

@groguandthebadbatch @pendustt @weirdest-lights @flyiingsly @courtney0-0

@emmaflame1336 @briefexpertdeer @shadow-rebel-223 @littlemammoth69 @theosb0rnway

@shazkenobi @reader6898 @maxims-multifandom-corner @monster20045 @darkangel4121

@nevadastarrsworld @thatacefr @crosshair-lover @bennieandthejets-5 @jamine-boi-124

@lani03sstuff @ttzamara @beezez-blog @myeternalsin @sublimeclodkidcolor

@nish-xiii @ash04w3 @clonereeses @lllllmm @melymigo and anybody else looking for a tale that doesn't end in disaster.

🩶 It's my fault.

🩶 This one simple sentence, this confession, jolts through both you and Omega like a blaster bolt. It's more than enough to make the tears start forming in her eyes, and the questions to build up in yours.

🩶 He doesn't seem to be done talking yet, though, because what spills out of him next speaks volumes.

🩶 "I thought they would--protect us, but they lied. They've been lying this whole time."

🩶 By this point, his hand is shaking so much that you don't think about it, that you don't dare to ask any more questions for fear of making an already painful thing several times worse.

🩶 Rather, you're just moving in to take a gentle hold upon it, if only to offer him whatever comfort that you can.

🩶 To your own comfort, though, he doesn't flinch, pull away, or start telling you off in front of Omega even though you would understand perfectly if he did.

🩶 Instead, whatever's causing all of his ills today eases just a little at the moment of contact with you, because the next thing you both know, his panicked breathing is slowing down and his tense posture starts to loosen up.

🩶 This moment can't last very long, though, because as Omega quietly reminds you, she still has to call home and she thought she heard voices calling in the distance. There is literally no time to lose.

🩶 In turn, you don't mind bringing both of your guests to the old spaceport that used to be your family's business during the war, but since then has had to be converted to a ship repair shop like several more wartime industries have done on your planet. However, there are still a few things you can use here, because you haven't exactly let everything go to rust.

🩶 One of these things is the communication console, a somewhat rusted thing, but still able to access encrypted links like the one on board the Marauder. It's here that Omega hears the voices of her surviving brothers for the first time in what feels like forever, and like any other missing child would do, she's able to let a few relieved sobs out of her system.

🩶 She's also composed herself enough to plan her next few steps, for her next move is to go straight to one of Ryloth's moons for a pick-up...or so she tells the two men on the other end of this line.

🩶 You can only hope that this means she wants to surprise them, guaranteeing two returns of lost family members for the price of one flight, as the old sale slogan goes.

🩶 At this same time, though, Crosshair's got a surprise of his own, for as Omega's busy talking, he's busy signaling to you without saying a word. It's the old spacewalk sign language, the one developed by the first workers within the asteroid belt for when their comms stopped working...and right now, he's telling you that he won't be following Omega down the ramp when the time comes.

🩶 How come, you sign back, a look of confusion upon your face. Don't you want to go with her?

🩶 They'll be looking for two clones traveling together, not separately...and besides, I already know I won't be welcome there.

🩶 Oh...? And where do you plan to go, if not with her?

🩶 I'll improvise. Now...act natural.

🩶 Both of you fall awkwardly silent as Omega finishes her comm; then skips back to you with the most heartbreaking of hopeful grins.

🩶 "They're coming to pick us up," she announces, twirling around in place like a happy little service droid. "We get to go home, home, home!"

🩶 "That's--that's great, Omega," Crosshair manages, forcing out the words as though trying not to choke on them. "Just--don't forget not to leave anything behind, all right?"

🩶 That's your cue to signal to them to go back to the house with you--you definitely have to hide the extra used dishes and utensils until further notice, what decent person wouldn't--but before you do, you're careful to make sure that the shop sign stays upon the word "Closed". The last thing anybody needs right now is some pushy customer demanding service.

🩶 Once you take all of the necessary precautions, though...you have to take just one more look around this little home of yours, if only to reassure yourself that you'll return to it soon, if not eventually.

🩶 After all, just like your mother used to say, the galaxy can be a huge, scary place.

#star wars #the bad batch #tbb #tbb crosshair #the bad batch crosshair #clone trooper crosshair #crosshair tbb #crosshair bad batch #crosshair x reader #tbb omega #omega tbb #omega bad batch #tbb crosshair and omega #tbb crosshair x you #the bad batch season 3 #tbb: the surprise guest series

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dark-type-appreciator · 2 months

Text

Intro post! :3

Hello! Like my description says, I'm Liam! I'm 16 and I found this website a while back and decided to finally make an account!!! I really like dark type pokemon (bet you could guess that XD), and I'm always open to talk about them! I also really like other catmons ^w^ curse of being a warrior skitties fan I guess...

I also like drawing, warrior skitties, and roleplaying! I have other interests but those are my main ones! I play games sometimes, but I'm not very good at them x_x

I'm not really a pokemon trainer… I only have one pokemon haha! His name is Goldie, and he's a purrloin! He's kind of a cranky old man but he loves me!

umm, what else? I get confused sometimes, please be patient, I'm autistic (and other things). Same goes the other way around!! If u need me to rephrase something, please tell me! Also i misspell things a lot, auto correct is my best friend. Hopefully its not too bad!

Oh! Also I am a furry! :3 I almost forgot to mention that asjhdjahs

Here's my pokesona!

not the best reference, it's kinda old... Maybe I'll redo it someday!

Also- if we're friends, pls tag any bug types!… I have a really bad phobia of them, and I don't wanna see them at all. Thank you!!!

also- look look look!!

They're friends.. :3

[OOC under the cut]

Hello! Actias/moth (@act11as) here with a new blog! On a different account! Wowie! Follows will come from here, of course! Once again, general unreality warning! Out of character posts will be green, and tagged as #ooc and #Moth's yapping to avoid confusion.

Dark themes will be explored on this blog, such as past abuse and neglect, general mental illnesses, dysfunctional family dynamics, emotional and psychological abuse, as well as (witnessed) domestic abuse.

Everything will be tagged (and please tell me if I missed something!) But please be safe when interacting!

These themes will not always be present, and Liam's blog will usually stay lighthearted. Still, it's good to keep in mind!

Boundaries, and so on!

No NSFW or suggestive things! Both the muse and mod are minors. Don't be a fuckin' weirdo. *Almost any kind of blog is allowed to interact! Sentient Pokemon, Eeby Deebies, Evil teams, fallers, etc! *Self-Insert fallers, please do not interact. I personally cannot handle these kinds of blogs. Self-insert ocs are fine, but the idea of a real person on rotomblr being isekaid into Pokémon is not. (Liam will likely not believe you for a while- unless he has significant reason to. He'll think it's a roleplayer, otherkin, or something like that. He will be willing to play along though!) In-Character Anon hate is allowed! Feel free to bully him, but remember that I'm not obligated to answer everything! Pelipper Mail, un-mail, and Malice are off currently! You may be able to convince him to turn it on! Mystery Gifts are closed! Though if this and Pelipper mail were to open, this one is preferred! Musharna mail, and Musharna malice are always on! Magic anons are off.

Organizational Tags! (HOW DID I FORGET FOR SO LONG)

Liam Chatters - General post tag! As long as he's saying something in the text portion, it'll be tagged. Reblog! ^w^ - Reblog tag. Pretty self explanatory Future Sight (queue) - Queued posts tag! Again pretty self explanatory. Liam used Doodle! - Art tag! Liam's art will be tagged as this, for those who want to see it. Foresight - Out of character tag. It marks posts that will potentially be important in the future. This can range from his opinions on things to heavy lore posts! Good tag to read through if you think you're missing something!

ONGOING ARCS:

#Mask Off - [Technically pretty new- I'm sure you get the gist though]

PAST ARCS/EVENTS:

#Lucy Strikes! - One of Liam's friends stole his phone while they were supposed to be visiting. General warnings for bullying.

Blocklist:

These are blogs Liam has blocked in-character! usually for lore reasons! these are not blogs that have personally been blocked, feel free to interact on anon if you're on this list!

@/tinkatinktrain

@/sound-type-advocate

#// also important note: you don't actually have to tag bug types. that's just on there for character reasons. mod loves bugs!!#Liam chatters #pkmn irl #pokemon irl #rotumblr #rotomblr #pokeblogging #intro post #pinned #Moth's yapping

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avatarl0v3r · 2 years

Note

Hiii can i request Lo’ak being in love with Human fem reader and they share their first kiss but mama Netyiri finds them and forbids them from seeing each other again? But reader almost dies protecting Lo’ak so Netyiri let’s them date each other?

“Na’vi Can’t Be With Humans”

Lo’akxFem!Human!Reader

This is a longer one

Index: the reader and lo’ak have been bestfriends for years and soon grew feelings for each other but Neytiri doesn't want her son to be with a human

warning/notes: cussing, near death experience, somewhat jealous Lo'ak, angst (if you blink you’ll miss it), not proof read, the war between humans and Na’vi is still going on, in the first part Lo’ak and reader are 15, when the year time skip comes read and Lo’ak are 16, Tsireya is one of my favorite characters but for this story she might be a bitch, i picture y/n as black in all my story’s but i don’t mention skin color nor hair type etc but in this her hair is curly (3b-3c)

Na’vi can’t be with humans masterlist

WC: 4,206

Tag list🏷️: @iloveavatar @mashiromochi @nyotamalfoy @debsworld23 @dioriez @nao-cchi @brookesbizzareadvendture @minkyungseokie

You’ve been on pandora since you could remember you were born here along with Spider, but the difference was you were curious about life on earth both your parents were scientist and worked on making you an avatar to just survive around here and it was fully mature when you were the age of 12 even though you were 15 your parents wanted to run a few tests on it before you used it, so your mother gave you her music player that you could take with you anywhere.

It had many songs on it, and you would listen to it all the time. Lo'ak who was your best friend was interested in the music that would play.

Neytiri wasn't very happy about this let alone the fact Lo'ak was friends with you, but Jake brushed it off for he was also human at one point.

As a human girl you weren't that tall compared to the Na'vi only standing at 5'8 the same height at Tuk which you hated mainly because she was 8 years old, and you were 15 years old.

One morning you woke up and grabbed your music player from off the table and started listening to "kill bill" by SZA sining the song as you got dressed for the day unlike Spider you actually got somewhat dressed you walked out your room with your music player and headed outside saying good morning to your parents who were looking over things with your avatar "Heading out" you say as you walk pass them "Mask" your father yelled "Got it" you said as you grabbed the mask and put it on your face walking out the door.

you seen Spider running past you "Bet ill be you there first" you rolled your eyes "Unlike you im in no rush to get there" you say slightly annoyed he would even talk to you you started to ignore him which made him annoyed and just leave you alone.

—

Finally, after a few minutes you made it to where the Sully kids were Neteyam looked over and noticed you and smiled and walked up to you and hugged you "Hey Tey" you said smiling Lo'ak looked over hearing your voice and a sight pain hit his heart as he watched you hug Neteyam.

You walked over to him and sat next to him he pouted you rolled your eyes smiling "Oh my what is it this time" you crossed his arms and turned his head away from you kind of like a baby who doesn't get what they wanted "Im offended you hugged Neteyam before me" you looked at him with disbelief and started laughing "This is what its about," you continued to laugh he only glared at you "Lo'ak i apologize i hugged Tey before you even if he greeted me before you" you said sarcastically before hugging him dramatically before jumping up and turning to your group of friends "Who want to go swimming?" Everyone nodded and headed to the river.

—

it was starting to get late the sun was almost setting and you and kiri were talking on a rock about random things, and laughing while watching everyone play in the water you looked at Kiri and asked her “What would i do if i liked someone…you know more than a friend” she looked at you wide eyed.

—

Lo’ak had looked over at the sound of your laugh and only heard little bit of the conversation “What would i do if i liked someone… you know more than a friend” he didn’t know why but your words hurt him his energy was off the rest of the day and he just headed back home before it got to late and he didn’t tell you goodbye you weren’t the only on who noticed this Kiri noticed too.

—

You all went back to the mountains where the Na’vi stayed Kiri told Jake she would be walking you back home since it would eclipse “Bye Lo’ak, bye Neteyam” Neteyam waved bye but Lo’ak just ignored you making you stare at him in confusion.

As you and Kiri walked you were thinking about how Lo’ak was acting “What’s wrong?” you looked at her “I’m just thinking about how Lo’ak was acting back at home” you look away from her and at the path ahead of you both “Well, i mean Lo’ak likes you and we all know that you like him back and maybe he heard some of our conversation and took it as you liked someone else” you looked at her slightly guilty “I hope not…I would feel terrible.”

Kiri and you arrived at your home you turned to her and hugged her “Thanks for the talk love you bye” she smiled “No problem love you too bye” she waved as she walked back towards her home as you shut the door behind you.

Your parents looked at you with warm smiles but their expressions changed after seeing your face your mom was the first to speak “You okay baby?” you nodded and took the mask off hanging it up where it’s meant to and walked to your room.

Your parents were left there confused after a few minutes and getting ready for bed and everything you came back to your room and laid under the blankets just sitting alone with your thoughts until your bedroom door opened and you looked up.

“Oh hi momma” you sat up in your bed your back resting against the head board looking at her “What’s wrong?” “Noth-“ she cut you off before you could finish talking “And don’t say nothing your a shitty lier” you sighed “Tell me what happened”

You told her everything and for a moment it was quiet “Look here’s what i’d tell you to do talk him one on one, no friends, no eavesdroppers, just you and him then tell him about how you feel and shit” you laughed at her words “Maybe” “Love ya” “Love you too” she headed for the door and was about to close it then stopped turning around “Oh yea your avatars almost fully matured” you smiled “Hell yea.”

—

The next night you told Kiri about your plan and went and found Lo’ak dragging him along with you “Bro hurry up” he laughed at you sprinting ahead of him “Hey! don’t fall your mask might break” he said his voice full of worry as you ran, even if he’s not the one you like he couldn’t bring himself to stop caring for you.

You came to a stop at the top of a tree overlooking some of Pandora “Shit” Lo’ak said as he stopped almost running into you grabbing you by your shoulders to keep you both steady.

You laughed at his face but didn’t ignore the fact his energy was still off your turned away from him and sat down allowing your legs to hang off the tree edge, staring at the world in front of you the world looked as if it was almost fake, it was dark but the bioluminescence forest lit up the night, the moon hung over Pandora like a blanket, you could hear animals running around and making noises, and the air smelled like fresh grass and free soil the smell relaxed you.

You stared at the world in front of you. There was a comfortable silence between the both of you for sometime Lo’ak broke it with his voice to “So why’d you bring me out here” you looked at him having to think of your words “Well i want to tell you something I-“ Lo’ak cut you off “Y/n i’m happy for you really i’m glad you found someone” you looked at him confused “I’m sorry what,” you then started to laugh “your joking right, please tell me your joking.”

You noticed he was being serious, and your laughing stopped as you sighed and looked at him "Lo'ak who do you think i like?" He looked out at Pandora "Neteyam" you burst out laughing "Fuck no i do not like Neteyam" he looked at you shocked "What do you mean" you looked at him "Holy shit Lo’ak your slow are you gonna make me do something to get it threw your head.”

“What-“ before he could finish you kissed him Lo’ak’s eyes widened his heart rate increased he relaxed and melted into the kiss, the two of you broke apart you then hugged him just sitting there looking at pandora.

—

“Lo’ak” Neytiri was looking for her son because it was past eclipse the sight she saw was one she never wanted to see again her son was kissing the human girl she had never wanted around he eyes widened and she ran over to the two of you ripping you apart she hissed at you causing you to stand up and get as far away as you could “Mo-“ Neytiri looked at her son the anger in her eyes causing his words to get caught in his throat “I don’t want you around my son nor my family do i make myself clear” she said anger lacing her words you only nodded and headed back to your humble abode.

That night you laid in bed you couldn’t tell if you were mad or sad, you really didn’t feel anything besides the tears pooling down your face you were mainly just confused as to how Spider can still hangout with them even with all the shit going on between him and Kiri that’s what you were mad and sad because you no longer could you ended up just watching Nexflix on your tablet since your parents still had a connection from earth you could watch movies here so that what you did.

—

Lo’ak was angry at dinner Neytiri seemed to think she did a good job as a mother telling Y/n she didn’t want her around her kids she had yet to tell Jake of this Lo’am was to angry to be hungry.

Jake noticed “What’s wrong Lo’ak” all the anger that had built up exploded out of him “Mom told Y/n she doesn’t want her around me or any of us she thinks Y/n’s just like the other people, even though you were a human too the only difference was you went into your avatars body so i don’t fucking understand what the difference is between you and Y/n you had a avatar to put your soul in while Y/n doesn’t THATS the only fucking difference she’s still a human and so is dad with or without his Na’vi body and not even you,” Lo’ak pointed to his mom “can deny that you still choose to save him in his human form so before you say anything about Y/n think about how hypocritical your being!” with that he stood up and stomped out of the hut and grabbed his Ikran and flew away.

Jake looked at Neytiri a anger she’s never seen before in his eyes “Neteyam, Kiri take Tuk outside and do something i need to have a talk with your mother” they nodded and headed outside.

“What’s wrong with you” she looked offended “Me ?! Y/n’s kind killed my father, my sister, ruined my home, her and Lo’ak kissed and you ask me what wrong with me” Jake sighs “Me and her father are close He’s like my brother Y/n is like my niece and for you to just push her away and forbid her from seeing our children is bullshit, Tuk loves her like a sister, you have no right to do that Neytiri.”

—

Lo’ak flew to the lab you lived at and landed his Ikran and crept to your window he peaked inside the room seeing you laying there watching people moving on your screen he recalled you had called it ‘Netflix’ whatever that is he noticed your tear stained face, your red nose, and puffy eyes as if you’ve been crying your whole life made his ears press flat against his head and his his expression change to that of sadness, sadness because he knew it was his mom who said those hurtful things to you, sadness because he knew he couldn’t disobey his mom and be with a human.

Lo’ak hated that word human what was the point of that word honestly every human he’s seen looked the same besides skin color, hair color, hair texture, and gender but they all had hair, five fingers like himself, without tails, and weren’t blue, Na’vi have the same thing most are blue or some shade of blue, have four fingers, no hair besides their head and ends of their tails.

Lo’ak knew his dad was once human which is why he was angry when his mom yelled at you to never come back, means no more hanging out with him, no more making flower crowns with Tuk or telling her stories, no more making fun of Neteyam with him, no more annoying kiri, nothing at all just how it was before he met you, the thought made his sick to his stomach.

Ears still flat against his head and nervousness flooded his body and mind he hesitantly knocked on your window waiting for you to notice him, when you finally did you’re glum expression changed to one of happiness as you paused your show and climbed across your bed to the window to open it you had no idea why he went to your window when your parents always allow him over no matter the time but still you opened the window and allowed him to clime inside his tail bumping your vines and tabistrys hanging off your wall and ceiling.

“Lo’ak watch the tail” he looked confused then noticed he had pulled down a vine and was now wrapped around his tail you helped him get out of the vine before sitting back down in the bed and covering yourself up allowing your body to claim back its warmth.

Lo’ak sits on the edge of your bed not knowing where to start you just watch him waiting for him to do something as your waiting your mom walks in the room and stops before she’s all the way in “Lo’ak when’d you get here, why didn’t you just use the door?,” she laughs slightly “anyways Y/n your avatar will be read to be taken out next week” she said a large smile on her face and shut the door and walked back down the hall, which made you smile.

Lo’ak looked confused “What’s an avatar?” you laughed slightly “It’s my Na’vi body, that looks like me, it just has some human things to it like you” you said smiling before everything was quiet again.

“I’m sorry” you looked confused “for what?” his ears were now flat against his head while his face showed sadness “My mom…” you smiled sadly at him “It’s okay, you’ve got nothing to do with it, but you shouldn’t come around here anymore since i don’t want you to get into anymore trouble” you weren’t sure if it was possible but his ears laid even flatter against his head sad by what you said but he knew it was true.

“We can watch Netflix, listen to music before you go?” he smiled it made him happy you still wanted him around you just didn’t want to get him in trouble, the two of you cuddled the rest of the night watching a show until it was time for him to leave.

“Bye Lo’ak.”

—

It had been a year since the last time you or Lo’ak seen each other, you had somewhat gotten over the fact Neytiri had forbid you from seeing Lo’ak and the rest of them, you’ve gotten used to fact Neytiri forbid you from seeing Lo’ak and the rest of them, you’ve gotten used to using your avatar along side your parents, even joining them in the lab and doing experiments which you loved, celebrating your 16th birthday, you missed Lo’ak with your whole soul but what were you to do.

Lo’ak on the other hand hated he hadn’t seen you, his family had to leave to find a place to protect them and the people, him and his family went to the Metkayina a few months before, but then Kiri had a seizure and Jake contacted Norm and Max to come see what was wrong.

—

“Uncle Norm, uncle Max where are we going?” you asked as you were packing your things “Something happened so hurry and meet us at the helicopter” uncle Max said before him and Norm walked out the lab.

You had gotten the rest of your stuff around and walked out heading for the helicopter. You were interested in knowing where you were going but your uncles would tell you anything, Max was your biological uncle because of your mom while Norm was kinda just a close friend of your dad.

You sat there looking at the landscape in-front of you “Holy shit!” you laughed with a smile your Uncle Max smiled at your reaction “Language” he said “Please you were smiling at me” you said rolling your eyes.

This was your first time seeing the ocean and the animals jumping out of it “This is amazing” you said while smiling.

Soon you had landed when you hopped out many pale-ish blue Na’vi were staring at you whispers coming from each of them things like “Her hairs curly like ours but with more noticeable curls” etc. you get it, you walked past then and seen Jake you ran to him and hugged him he gladly hugged you back “Hey kid” he said laughing you let him go forgetting how tall Na’vi are Max and Norm walked up to him “Where is she?” Jake nodded and led them through the village to their marui your eyes widened at the sight “Holy shit, what the hell is wrong with my friend!” you say to Jake “Take it easy, we don’t know” you sigh “I’ll take some scans” Max and Norm nodded.

You scanned her body “So Jake what happened?” Jake had to recall what happened “The kids said she connected her queue to the tree the Metkayina people have her similar to the tree of souls and she just passed out” you look closely “She had a seizure, but it shows nothing wrong with her, her brain work seems perfect, you can let her do it again” Jakes eyes widened “What never??” you sighed standing up “If she does this again and has a seizure under water, she may not survive this time she was lucky.”

Ronal walks in and looks at you and your uncles “It seems i am not needed here” she turns to walk away Neytiri says something to her before your all kicked out Max and Norm are ready to go as they walk back to the helicopter and seen Neteyam and hugged him smiling “Holy shit- Y/n, i’ve missed you” he said hugging you back disbelief in his voice “i gotta go catch up with my Uncles ill see you later” you jogged off catching up with the two grown men “We aren’t leaving yet, not until i know Kiri is gonna be okay” They looked at each other knowing you weren’t gonna let this one slide “Fine” they both said you put your stuff in the helicopter and grabbed your music player and a hair tie you put your hair into a makeshift bun just so it could hold your curls securely and put the headphones on and walked along the beach.

You thought about life a year ago, how you missed Lo’ak, but now you’ve changed within that year gap of not seeing him, you’ve matured a bit more and acted somewhat differently, you didn’t take that many adventures around Pandora anymore, you worked in the lab with your parents and other scientists, became less naive, became more closed off in a way, kept to yourself, got a hell of a lot stronger, you wondered what Lo’ak would think of you now it was eating you alive thinking of all the possibilities.

What if he found a mate.

What if he doesn’t like the person you’ve become.

What if he forgot about you.

No, Lo’ak couldn’t have forgotten about you, but then again where was he you only seen Neteyam, Lo’ak was no where to be found you sighed and dipped you feet into the water allowing yourself to relax and breath.

Soon your thoughts were interrupted by laughing this caught your attention so you walked over your eyes widened seeing Lo’ak with another girl it kinda hurt you knowing he probably moved on from you, but it hurt knowing he made a friendship like your and his with someone else.

You turned to walk away leaving you in your thoughts once again with tears rolling down your face and your curls sticking to the tear trail, before you were pulled out your thoughts ones again “Hey! who are you come back here!” the person yelled based off the voice it was Lo’aks just slightly deeper.

You started to walk faster your face already cleared of tears your only focus was getting as far away from here as you could.

A hand landed on your shoulder to your shock without thinking you grabbed the arm twisted it and pulled it forward flipping the person onto the ground then landing with a thud you eyes widened “Shit i’m sorry” you say quickly before helping the person up.

“It’s all good” the person said brushing the sand out their hair you were very short compared to the Na’vi in front of you “You sure? I did kinda just flip you onto your back” you nervously laugh the Na’vi looks at you then their eyes widen with shock.

—

Lo’ak and Tsireya were laughing in the water, oh how he wished he was laughing with Y/n.

Lo’ak longed for Y/n everyday since the last time he saw her but when he started to hang out with tsireya the more he longed.That was until he noticed a small human looking figure walking away from the beach where they were “Lo’ak someone’s watching us” reya pointed to the fleeing figure making Lo’ak go after them and end up where he was now in front of the person that flipped him onto his back.

—

You stood there not sure if he recognized you, the other Na’vi walks up to Lo’ak and rest her hands on his arms giving you a bitchy look you roll your eyes not caring she was taller than you.

The girl looked at you as she held Lo’ak tightly against her “If you don’t mind we’re hanging out at the moment” you rolled your eyes “Yup, my bad” you said moving your body past Lo’aks.

The pair watched you leave Lo’ak thinking you looked and sounded familiar but he didn’t have much time to think about it since reya pulled him along with her Lo’ak kept watching your figure that was until he heard Tuk scream a name he hasn’t heard in years.

“Y/n!!!.”

Lo’aks eyes widened and he ripped his arm from reyas “Lo’ak?” she asked confused “Not right now Reya” Lo’ak ran until he caught sight of the you.

—

“Hey Tuk” you said looking at her “You’ve gotten shorter” Tuk laughed “Oh? maybe it’s because you’ve gotten taller-“ your words were cut off as you hit the ground “I missed you so so much” you looked down it was Lo’ak he had his arms wrapped around your waist while tears streamed down his face “I missed you too Lo’ak” you said kissing the top of his head over and over again.

—

When Neytiri seen you a Lo’ak hanging out she hated it, Jake on the other hand was happy to see his son so happy.

Tsireya on the other hand was not so much she blamed you for taking Lo’ak away from her even though it had only been a few months she knew she wanted to mate with him, you were extremely nice to her wanting to get to know her after Lo’ak introduced the two of you, when meeting her you could tell she hated you but you stayed being nice no matter what.

You and Lo’ak spent time together all the time from morning to night, when Kiri finally woke up it was time to leave.

Lo’ak greeted you that morning only to find out you had to leave “You leaving already?!” you smiled sadly “Lo’ak you know i can’t stay here even when if wanted to i couldn’t there no place for a human here” you said looking around eyes settling on Tsireya knowing she would be happier if you left “But when would i see you again?!” you smiled sadly “I’m not sure Lo’ak, but i can promise it’ll be very soon.”

You hugged Lo’ak he hugged you back just as tightly his tail wrapping around your human figure, Tsireya felt a growl in her throat as she watched.

You and Lo’ak parted ways once you’re feet hit the helicopter floor but you knew you’d be seeing him sooner than you thought.

This is gonna have a part two or this is gonna be a hell of a lot longer then it needs to be

#avatar #avatar x reader #avatar way of water #jake sully #pandora #lo’ak #neteyam #atwow loak #lo’ak avatar #lo’ak x reader #lo’ak x you

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theunfortunateplace · 8 months

Text

Say you love me (Neteyam X OC!Na’vi) Chapter 18

Read On Ao3 Previous Chapter Next Chapter

Pairing (Neteyam X Original Metkayina Female Character)

Synopsis: follow Luaewe as her world literally gets turned upside down with new na’vi joining her village. Never having to face many obstacles besides finding her way back home. How will she be able to handle the constant jealousy she's faced with and an unwanted love triangle. Disclaimer: All characters in this fic have been aged up for the convenience of storytelling and to match the aging system up with both Pandora and Earth

AGES

OC Luaewe-22 Neteyam-23 Kiri-23 Lo'ak-21 Ao'nung-23 Tsireya-21

Warnings: Smut, Thigh fucking, P in V, Marking, Heavy impreg talk, Breeding kink, Creampie (let me know if I missed anything else)

I awoke bright and early along with the Sully family. 'Teyam and I said goodbye to my mother with her of course not sparing me the kisses. Even Neteyam got smothered in some. This trip was originally supposed to be us two but it quickly turned into a family trip. Was Neteyam happy about that? Nope. Not one bit but he eventually got over it. I on the other hand was excited regardless I never traveled that far before.

Travels like that were only meant for the traders of the clan. “Are you sure you packed everything?” I heard Reya ask as we approached the others by the ikran. “Of course I did! I even packed extra for you.” Lo’ak answered back while giving his ikran a pet. She was tagging along too her mother insisted it was the right thing to do and Lo’ak didn’t want to leave her alone.

“Why do I have the feeling they will be bickering the whole travel?” Neteyam whispered in my ear as we approached his ikran. I chuckled and looked up at him. “ because it’s highly likely that it’s going to happen, but I’m sure if you fly fast enough we won’t hear it.” I winked at him causing him to smirk at me. He leaned down and kissed my lips.

I felt his hand caress my face as he deepened it. “Ma teyam did you drink the tea this morning?” I asked in between kisses. He pulled apart resting his forehead on mine. “Yeah…I did…maybe we should have made this trip sooner.” He said in a worried tone.

I tossed the items my mom requested for me to bring on his ikran and cupped his face. “You'll be fine… if you feel like you need to take a break do it. Don’t push yourself harder than you need to.” He nodded his head placing one last kiss on my lips.

“OK, love birds, are you guys done sucking face so we can fly out?” I heard Jake call out as he finished loading everything up. I heard Neteyam groan pulling away fully reaching to secure the sack I placed on top.

I chuckled and quickly placed my hand on his. gesturing for him to check if the saddle and everything else were secured. I looked over at Kiri as she talked with Spider who sat in front of her. I still have yet to have a proper conversation with him… every time I try to it’s like he avoids me as if I were ill. I shook my head turning back to the ikran that was staring me down. I gave him a pat on the head only for him to blow air through his nose at me nudging while against my hand. “ you ready for the ride big guy?” His face changed making me raise a brow confused by his reaction, but he quickly licked a long strip on my cheek. I groaned and patted his head.

“Yup-yup, I love you too.” I walked off wiping all the slobber away and shook my head that dude needs to work on expressing his feelings in another way. I climbed on top and sat towards the front in my normal spot. I can’t believe I would be going to the forest…. Let alone meeting his grandmother. I felt his eyes lingering from behind me causing me to look and sure enough he was.

We didn’t have much time and every second we spent here the less time we had to make it there before his rut. “OK, is everyone ready?” I asked shaking the worriedness from my voice. I gestured to 'Teyam to get on and he followed. “All set!” Jake called out. Before I could even reply back I felt 'Teyam wrap his arm around me tightly inching closer to me. “You know the drill hold on tight.” I gripped the leather strap and he took flight.

I gasped feeling the wind rush past my face as the ikran screeched out. No matter how many times I fly with him it never gets old.

Jake took his position leading us in the front while Neteyam followed closely behind. Ever so often I could hear their voices communicating their next move or to ask questions. The technology was all new to me. Neteyam didn’t wear the device often but I guess since we are going to the forest it’s necessary.

I wonder if they use it because you can’t hear anyone when flying and it’s not like us, the Metkayina, where we have sign language….

My mind was filled with so many questions. Sure I’ve wondered how different clans lived their life but it just dawned upon me that the Omaticaya use many forms of human technology…

My mind was like this for hours new thoughts popped in. Questioning many different things it wasn’t until I felt a drastic shift in our direction that I realized we were making our first stop.

He landed the ikran and got off. Holding a hand out to assist me, I smiled and thanked him with a kiss causing him to smirk.

“Gosh, I have to pee!” I hear Reya say as she practically runs off somewhere. I chuckled and looked over to Kiri and Spider. I locked eyes with Spider and I saw nothing but fear in his eyes. Even though I was waving and smiling at the pair. I bit my lip and turned back to Neteyam who was looking at me with a confused face.

“What's wrong?” He asked I shook my head reaching for the snack bag and pulling out some dried fish. “It's nothing.” I looked up and smiled at him only for him to caress my cheek. He leaned down moving closer to my lips, when I suddenly I heard a crunch. I opened my eyes to find this man chewing on my damn fish.

“You little-“ he abruptly kissed my lips and started running away. “ I’m gonna get you once we get to the forest, you fish thief!” I yelled out. I huffed and ate the remains fish in my hand and walked over to Lo’ak who was stretching his legs out.

“How was the ride so far?” I asked he scoffed and smirked. “ I’m sure you can guess what it was like Luaewe.” I chuckled and shook my head.

“Well, it’s almost eclipse she will go to sleep soon, and the crankiness will wear off.” He smiled slightly and looked away for a short moment. “ I don’t suppose you have something that will help with nausea?” I smiled and patted his shoulder.

“And who would I be if I wasn’t prepared for everyone? Come I’ll give you a couple of things to give her.” He let out a sigh of relief and quickly walked over with me.

I undid the knot on the satchel that held all my medicine and took out some candy I made. “These should help.” He raised a brow. “You sure, because it just looks like candy to me.”

I chuckled. “It is candy, I made it. I figured we wouldn’t have time to sit and brew tea and all that extra stuff…well you guys might but Neteyam and I don’t.”

He hummed.” You know that’s a really smart idea. I never seen something like this.” I smiled and thanked him. He looked off again and scratched the back of his head causing me to raise my brow.

Is there something else wrong? Why is he acting like this? Normally he’s cracking jokes or goofing around or something. “OK, what's going on? This.” I moved my hands in a circular motion. “ is making me worried.”

“ I- shit…. You know this is really awkward to talk about especially considering you’re my brother's mate and now my sister...” I huffed and placed my hands on my hips. What the hell is he trying to say? And why is it so hard? “Lo'ak?” He looked at me directly. “ Just say it.”

I chuckled, causing him to smile. “How did you know you were in love… what did it feel like?” I blinked slowly, completely stunned by the question.

“Wow ok, I wasn’t expecting that um…. Well ha….At first, I was extremely conflicted due to some stuff that happened in my past… I don’t think there was a specific incident that made me love him, it was really everything combined. Like sure when you like someone you feel a pull or whatever but every second I wasn’t with him felt emptiness… when he held me even at the most awkward times.” I chuckled and looked off into the distance. “ It's like this warmth engulfed me and I’m not talking about body heat. I could literally feel his love. I don’t know, it's hard to explain but when you know you know.”

I looked back at him only to find him in a transfixed state. As if he were thinking really hard. It wasn’t until Reya called out to him that he snapped out of it. We don’t have deep conversations together but I could tell he was going through something.

I felt arms wrap around me from the back and I smiled leaning into his chest. He placed a kiss on my forehead and hummed. “ Where did you run off to fish stealer?” He looked down and chuckled.

“ I had to handle some business before we headed back out.” I raised a brow in confusion. I mean if he had to use the bathroom he could of ju- ooooooooh. I turned around and he tilted his head.

“ Why didn’t you ask? I would've helped.” I said lowly. He smiled and gently grazed his thumb against my cheek. “Ma orae if I did that I definitely would have not been able to hold back and would have pushed myself into an early rut.” I pouted but accepted his words. That’s the last thing either of us want. “You're right.....well, did you at least get the satisfaction you needed?” He laughed out and gently ran his hands up and down my back only for him to firmly grasp my ass making me gasp out in shock. “‘'Teyam, your family is right there!” I whispered, yelled, looking around quickly to make sure no one was watching

He lowered his face to my ear and playfully nipped it.“Shh, it's not like they would notice.” Of course they would you’re literally gripping my ass in broad daylight gosh I hope Tuk isn’t looking over here!

“It was enough, but I would have preferred that tight little pussy you have.” I playfully swatted his arm causing him to chuckle moving his head away. “You can be touchy all you want but you better keep that mouth in check!” I pointed my finger at him and furrowed my brows.

“OK, I’ll keep it in check. Wouldn’t want to accidentally turn you on, or we would be stuck here for days and I probably would end up with a broken arm again.”

Too late for that ‘'Teyam, and I’m sure he can tell because that damn smirk on his face is staying put. He leaned down kissing my lips. I felt his hands starting to grope my ass as he tried to deepen the kiss. I pulled away quickly and pushed his chest away. He looked at me as if I had betrayed him but quickly came back to his senses. “Shit, I’m sorry.” He pulled back fully and let out a frustrated sigh.

I shook my head and gave his arm a squeeze. “It's okay, that’s why I’m here to keep you in check.” I said trying to lighten the mood, he let out a soft chuckle and nodded his head. “We should head back out. I’m not sure if everyone else is ready but we gotta go.” He said while looking around.

He pressed his fingers on the device and spoke. “Me and Luaewe are gonna head out first.” I watched as Jake popped his head up from whatever he was doing. “OK, we will meet at the third stop.”

I reached back into the back and took out another piece of dried fish. I was just standing there watching them both communicate but I had no clue what they were saying. I felt Neteyam’s hand graze my lower back.

I turn away from the bag making sure to close it and look up while taking a bite of the fish. He chuckled and leaned down. I instinctively moved away having a feeling he would take another bite from me but he held me in place and kissed my forehead.

“Come on, my pretty girl it’s time to go.” Heat suddenly rose to my face causing me to look away. But I quickly grabbed the saddle and hopped up. He positioned himself behind me swiftly connecting his kuru. He wrapped his arm around my midsection and before I knew it we were off in the air again.

I have no clue when the next stop will be maybe hours from now well into Eclipse. I bit my lip feeling him reposition himself behind me as we leveled out in the air. Gosh, this was going to be a difficult ride. I mean I knew it was but shit his fucking dick is pressed up against my ass and it’s taking everything in me not to reach back and grab it.

But the last thing I want is for us to crash into the ocean……this is gonna be a long trip.

“OK, we will camp here for tonight leave out early morning and meet up with everyone at the third stop.” I hum as he helps me back off the ikran.

“How many more stops till we get there?” He walked over to the bags and took some off. “maybe two more, it all depends on the weather really.”

I smile and fold my hands together. That’s awesome we’ll I’m sure the weather won-“ the sound of thunder crashed interrupting me. “Well shit.” He chuckled as I looked up to see if there were any rain clouds.

I quickly walked over to him and took some of the bags. “Will those be alright in the rain I’m not sure how your material holds up?” We moved under a tree and set everything down. “Yeah, it's made out of leather and we waterproofed it…. It would be ideal if we found a cave if it’s going to rain but we will have to make do with this tree.” He said fiddling with something in the bags. I tried to help but he told me to just sit so I did.

If I knew one thing about Neteyam it’s that if he tells you he’s got it and doesn’t need help he doesn’t. Well until you hear cursing or a loud noise. I watched as he strung up the material that would keep us dry.

I shook my head subtly walking back over to him and went into the bag taking out the blanket we would sleep on. I heard his playful scoff from behind me and I smiled. He should have known I wouldn’t stay put. I jolted up feeling a sudden wetness on my back. “Looks like we landed just in time.” He said while quietly moving the other bags under the material. I hummed and sat down watching the rain hit the sand. “ I should have known not to jinx the weather.” I lightly chuckle as I feel him pull me closer and wrap his arms around my waist.

“It's fine, at least we get to enjoy the rain together…. You know I just realized this is the first time since mating we will sleep alone.” I smiled and rested my head against his chest.

“You're right… it’s weird not having Tuk trying to infiltrate our cuddle time or my mom waking us up.” I shook my head. I’ll never forget the day when Neteyam and I were about to have our afternoon nap. Anyone walking by would think we were about to have sex with how intense we kiss before we sleep.

But that didn’t matter to Tuk. She ran into our area and jumped on us complaining how it was unfair we didn’t spend time with her as much as we do with each other.

“Mhm, we are finally alone. Maybe when we get back our marui will be finished hopefully not though. It’s my duty- well back in my clan once mated the male or one who initiated creates the hammock or marui as you guys call it.”

I raised a brow confused do they not sleep in marui’s like us. “ wait so how do you guys sleep?”

“ in hammocks. There are individual ones, then ones for couples, and lastly the family ones but after moving to the mountains because of the war… we had to set up tents you can still sleep in the hammocks inside or sleep on the floor…. It’s kinda complicated you’ll see when we get there.” I hummed and moved forward reaching for some fruit.

“ I’m excited especially since you guys really talk up the forest.” He chuckled while placing a kiss on top of my head.

“ because it deserves to be talked up!” He held his hand out and I placed some of the fruit in his hand willingly. “ you think Sa'nok will make some porridge for me?” He let out a laugh and I looked up with a serious face. “ I’m serious! You said it was better so now that I’ll be there I can’t leave without tasting it!”

“You'll get your porridge don’t worry… and the other delicious foods,” I closed my eyes and hummed. That’s another thing I had no clue about. The types of food they ate…

I felt his face dip against my neck lightly nipping at my skin. “Why do you have to smell so good ma Orae?” He grunted against me. I bit my lip feeling his dick press against my back. “ I don’t know why this time around is so hard for me but shit!” I felt him squeeze my hips trying to lift me up but continued to restrain himself.

“Let me help you-“ I said trying to turn around he lowly hissed warning me to stay put. “Luaewe, you know we can’t.” He strained.

“But it’s hurting you! I can’t stand seeing you this way, 'Teyam. You don’t have to put it in. I can jerk you off or you can put it in between my legs.”

He nipped my neck again as his hand slid around to the front forcefully cupping my pussy. My breath shuddered at his fingers grazing my clothed clit.

He let out a deep chuckle against the back of my neck but cursed as I touched his thigh. I was still wet from earlier. It’s probably what’s driving him to behave like this. Gosh, I feel so bad! And the fact that I can’t even help. “My hand isn’t even fully touching your pussy and I can feel how wet it is.”

He playfully tapped against my clit causing me to jolt back in surprise. “What I would do to be inside you right now… feeling that tight hole squeeze me as I fill you up with my cum.” I let out a whimper as he continued to speak in my ear.

Fuck I don’t remember him talking this dirty before. I let a moan slip from my mouth and I could feel him smirk against me. “But this will have to do. Lay down for me sweetie.” He patted my thighs letting me know what he decided and I followed his instructions.

I laid down on my side with my thighs pressed together looking back waiting for him to move closer to me. He looked at my ass hungrily grabbing it with his hand. Even with hands as big as his some of it flowed out between his fingers.

He chuckled lowly moving his hands up my hips speedily undoing my tweng. His chest pressed up against my back causing me to lean into him. He dipped his face back into the crevice of my neck and let out a deep growl. “You smell so good.” His fingers found their way to my folds massaging my entrance. I let out an airy moan reaching back to hold his forearm. “So wet for me. Fuck I just want to be in you!”

You and me both! “Please?” I let go of his arm reaching back further for his cock that was pressed between my ass. “ I don’t want your fingers. Put it between my legs ''Teyam.” I gave up trying not to sound desperate right now. I wanted my mate and I couldn’t even have him the way I wanted.

He moaned as I gripped the base of his cock as I lifted my leg up slightly. “mmmm.” I bit back my moan as I rolled my hips back into him. Setting him in place nestled snugly between my folds. He forcefully grabbed my face detaching his lips from my now abused neck and latching them onto my lips.

He started moving slowly at first. Almost antagonizingly slow. Even in his horny pre-rut filled brain he still had it in him to torture me. But that all came to an end very quickly. His hand caressed my body spending extra time on my breast. When suddenly he sped up out of nowhere causing me to jolt forward with the increase in stimulation.

“ ssshit!” I moaned out while gripping his arm once again as he pulled me back holding me still. “I’m not even in you and you’re running?” He scoffed “How is my mate supposed to tend to me when she can’t even take my cock rubbing up against their tight little pussy huh?”

He lowered his hand to my clit rubbing it ferociously. I gasped, feeling an orgasm fast approaching but he switched up the pace on purpose. “Please please please please please-“ I choked out begging for him to make me cum but he refused. He pulled his hand away gripping my breast again.

“Fuck, I love these! And your fucking ass. I wonder how big they’ll get when you swell with my child.” It’s just his pre-rut talking. It’s just his pre-rut talking. I chanted to myself trying to rationalize his words. He leaned down kissing me once again quickly deepening it. “Please let me cum.” I begged against his lips.

He smirked moving to my ear. “You wanna cum? Yet my cock isn’t in you? You think I’ll let you do that?” I whined getting frustrated with this game! “All you have to do is-“

“Just fuck me already damn it!” I shouted out fed up with all this teasing and non fucking. Maybe I’m out of my mind maybe I’m just fucking horny but if he cheats me out of another orgasm I will lose it!

I felt him smirk pulling back slightly and slowly pushing into me. “Yes yes yes yes!” I chanted as the swell of his cock stretched me. His lustful moans filled my ears as he settled deeply into me. I gasped, feeling our Kuru’s connection. I didn’t even feel him touch mine.

He moved slowly trying not to hurt me but he could tell I was fine and quickly picked up pace. The sounds of our skin hitting and the sound of my squelching pussy overpowered the downpour that was upon us. Thank Eywa we were alone or else this would be an embarrassing thing to happen with everyone there. Though his speed picked up his strokes were deep and with the curve of his cock it almost felt like it was intentional.

“T- 'Teyam, you're too deep!” His hand went back to my breast rolling my nipple in between his fingertips. I moaned out arching my back from the new stimulation. He chuckled sinisterly knowing exactly what he was doing.

“You're mine.” He nipped my ear with his teeth “If your breasts are this sensitive now just imagine what they’d feel like full of milk.” His stroke grew deeper, more aggressive. I cried out feeling him grow larger. How is that even possible? “Fuck ‘'Teyam please you’re too-“

He growled tightening his hold on me refusing to let go. “ I’m gonna fucking breed you! I’m gonna get you pregnant muntxate.” My pussy clenched vigorously around him causing him to chuckle. “You like that huh? You like when I say I’m gonna get you pregnant hm?”

His hand moved to my belly causing me to gasp. “ I’m gonna love watching you waddle around the village parading that round belly. Having it be a physical example of what I did to you.” He said while caressing my belly as if a bump were already there

He bit down onto my shoulder pushing me right over the edge. He held me tight as a scream of pure pleasure ripped through my throat. My body convulsed from how intense the orgasm hit me. But despite how forceful it was he continued to rut into me as his knot began to swell. I couldn't help but get turned on even more. Knowing the risk of us already performing tsaheylu. If he were to knot me, I would for sure get pregnant.

He bit down harder as his cock twitched inside of me spurting his hot cum against my cervix. I can only imagine what it feels like to be stuffed with his knot.

I reached placing my hand on his thigh and rubbing it as he came down from his high. His soft lips peppered my neck with kisses causing me to smile. “Fuck.” He breathed out, “I- I'm sorry, my love…… I got carried away shit.” I shook my head while attempting to look back.

“It's okay, you're alright right?”

“Mhm,” he said lowly while dipping his face in my neck still trying to calm his breathing. I reached back brushing the braids out of his face. “Then everything is fine and you feel relieved no?” He nodded his head and I smiled.

“Then there’s no need to worry ‘'Teyam.”I tried to pull away to fully check out his arm but instead, he tightened his hold around my waist. I chuckled while tapping his hand.

“Alright big guy, let me go I need to properly check your arm.” He groaned and I couldn’t help but let out a little laugh at his antics. But my laughter was quickly replaced by a shudder of my breath as he pulled out of me causing the cum to rush out of me.

“Gosh!” It felt almost erotic feeling the warmth of his seed run out of me and onto my inner thigh. I looked back to see his glistening cock slowly relax and knot fully deflate. I sat up with him following suit and reached for his arm.

Unlike Ronal, I wouldn’t be able to tell the healing status when most of it had healed already but I can’t tell if it’s broken. I felt around for anything out of place and listened to him for any small sounds to slip from him. But there was nothing everything was fine. I looked up and smiled while letting his arm down, “Nothing is broken.” I said softly

He reached up to caress my face and pulled me in for a kiss. “Thank you.” I giggled against his lips and patted his thigh.

“It’s my duty.” I squealed as he pulled me into his lap and laid down. “ ‘Teyam! We have to wash up.” I whined only for him to shush me.

I let out a groan and laid my head on his chest accepting defeat. His cum is gonna get all crusty! “You're gonna be the one scrubbing your cum off of me!” Laughter erupted from his chest

He cupped my ass while sitting back up. Good because I didn’t want to deal with that in the morning. “You just won’t let me enjoy my muntxate huh?” He said while standing up still holding onto me.

“You must want a crusted-up muntxate then if you thought I would just let you let me lay there! Skin as smooth as mine takes care!” He shook his head playfully and scoffed.

I felt him playfully tap my ass, “alright, let's make it quick then”. He looked out from under the material keeping us dry and hummed. “It looks like the rain slowed down but we should still make it quick.

“Are you gonna put me down?” I asked while tilting my head he smirked. “No, this is payment for not letting me lay down with you.” I groaned playfully but I enjoyed it when he carried me. To him, I practically weighed nothing. I leaned that quickly from how many times he scooped me up and placed me in his lap.

I smiled and shook my head as I pushed my face into his neck. “Nga yawne lu oer“

“ I love you too,” he says. I tried to shove my face deeper and he chuckled. The rest of the night was spent with us bathing and playing around in the water longer than we should have but we eventually got out and went back to ‘camp’ as Neteyam called it.

I was cuddled up against his warm chest with his arms wrapped around me. I listened to his heartbeat while the sounds of light rainfall could be heard in the back. I gasped while closing my eyes feeling the connection of our kurus.

His hand grazed my back as he placed a kiss on my forehead. “Sleep Ma Oare, I’m not going anywhere.” He said in a low tired voice. I continued to listen as the sound of his heart beating turned into a trance….

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#avatar #avatar fanfiction #avatar the way of water #avatar smut #avatar oc #neteyam #avatar 2 #avatar way of water #neteyam smut #neteyam fluff #neteyam x oc #avatar slow burn #say you love me

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Nova’s Notes - North and South Weekly - Wk 1

So, today was the first entry of North and South and because of the Droughtula, I’m glad to have a beast of an entry to analyze! Also, as a note, I’m probably not going to quote as much of this, since there is so much of it — I’ll just refer to the part I’m talking about. One more thing: this is my first time reading this book. Feel free to share your responses, but no spoilers please! (I know this is a 100+ year-old book though, so I’ll probably filter tags)

Reading the first long paragraph, we can already get a glimpse of Margaret and Edith’s dynamic. They’re cousins and raised together from childhood and Edith is called pretty by all — except Margaret. But now, Margaret is starting to see her better qualities, since Edith is about to leave her and get married and Margaret is going home to live with her father.

What does that tell me? They may not be on the best of terms (at least on Margaret’s side), but even so, Margaret can’t help but feel sad at the upcoming “loss” of her cousin. There’s more evidence to support this: in later paragraphs, she’s referred to as “spoiled” and weak-willed, though it’s unclear whether that’s Margaret’s opinion or Gaskell’s omniscient opinion (which I think is something to watch out for). Then again, she also refers to her as “dear” and observes that Edith would stay with her fiancé even if someone came along with more money and comfort (since she’s so spoiled). Needless to say, I think Margaret has some complicated feelings.

I believe Margaret sees her for what she is — as spoiled and a bit of a child (which we’ll get to later) — but she’s still her cousin and can only see her as more dear. I love that Gaskell writes about this feeling of idealizing a person more when you know they’re about to leave (moving, marriage, etc.) because, as someone’s who been through this, I can very much relate and I appreciate her writing about this. Even if you’re not on the best of terms, you find yourself missing their annoying mannerisms too (unless they’re like, super bad or something lol)!

Moving on, Margaret overhears her aunt — Mrs. Shaw — talking to her friends about Edith’s marriage and her own marriage. What’s interesting here is that her main concern was making sure a) Edith married someone within her age range (unlike her own marriage) and b) love is of the utmost importance. Obviously, this is something pretty common in today’s society — in fact, it’s encouraged — but I do wonder how this was taken when it was first published. Was the aunt seen as frivolous and privileged, or revolutionary and modern? I did some research and it turns out by the time this was published (1854), this was already a well-established belief. So I guess she was simply echoing what most of society was already thinking!

What does stand out to me is that the aunt does talk about the age difference in her own marriage being a “drawback”. I don’t think I need to discuss how our society views age-gap relationships today (let’s just say it’s a hot topic), but I do find it interesting how very relevant this conversation from Mrs. Shaw still resonates with me so many years later.

However, Gaskell doesn’t seem to hold Mrs. Shaw in the highest regard, either. She describes her as “considering herself a victim to an uncongenial marriage” and now that her husband is dead, tries to find something else to be anxious about. Furthermore, she only does things because someone else wants to (and complains about it) while “all the time she was in reality doing just what she liked”. While these aren’t the worst things ever, I wouldn’t call this a glowing character review either. I would almost compare this to Mr. Woodhouse from Jane Austen’s Emma, who bemoans every little illness and thing that befalls him when he is actually pretty healthy.

Not that she’s seen to be a horrible aunt or mother to Margaret or Edith — it’s pretty evident that she cares for both of them by the way she dotes on Edith and how she took Margaret in as a child (I’m not entirely sure why — I think it was to teach her how to be a lady?). I like that Gaskell is already showing a lot of different sides to these characters!

Margaret is asked to model Edith’s wedding shawls, since she is currently down for a nap. She goes up to the nursery and reflects on when she first came to this house as a child. She was considered a wild thing — playing in the forest and all that. On the first night there, her new nurse already seemed intimidating and the nursery itself more akin to a prison. Poor little Margaret began to cry, but the nurse demands her to stop so as to not “disturb Miss Edith”. Then, she was all the quieter when her father and aunt went to check on her later, since she felt bad for being upset. I can well imagine a child of nine fostering a bit of resentment for her cousin after an introduction like that — not a big one, because I don’t think she’s that kind of character, but just a little one. How would you feel if you were thrust into an unwelcoming environment and told your emotions were a problem? It’s not Edith’s fault, but it’s not Margaret’s either. The upside is their relationship remarkably improved after that and she can look upon the nursery with fondness.

Honestly it gives me the same vibes as Charlotte Brontë’s Villete, which was published almost around the same time (though the roles are reversed in this case). At the beginning of the book, the protagonist, Lucy Snowe, is visiting her godmother but they have a new visitor: Polly. Tensions clash when they both have to stay in the nursery and Lucy sees Polly as a spoiled brat, while Polly sees Lucy as unfeeling and unkind to her. Obviously, not the same situation, but I think it’s a little peek into what this kind of dynamic is like!

Moving on, Margaret models the wedding shawls and they actually seem to fit her better than Edith (she has the height for it). The key point here is that “no one thought about it” though: they don’t seem to notice or appreciate Margaret’s beauty. While Gaskell remarks that Edith is known for her prettiness, the same attention does not seem to be applied to Margaret. I wonder if this will be a running theme? What I do appreciate is that when Margaret looks at herself in the mirror, she smiles and poses — she seems to know her own beauty and be somewhat self-confident, even if others don’t tell her. Or at least, she’s having fun dressing up like a princess, which is super cute and I love that for her!!! Why shouldn’t she have fun with this?

Enter Henry Lennox, Edith’s fiancé’s brother — a mouthful. He, understandably, causes a stir amongst everyone and even Edith wakes up from her nap as if she feels the vibes that her future in-law has arrived (to paraphrase the author, lol). While they ask him questions, a very interesting line pops up about Edith’s soon-to-be sister-in-law that I wanted to share and had to do some research on to figure out the meaning of:

“[Edith] had a multitude of questions to ask about dear Janet, the future, unseen sister-in-law, for whom she professed so much affection, that if Margaret had not been very proud she might have almost felt jealous of the mushroom rival…”

After googling what a mushroom rival was (because, what????), the consensus I found was that it means “an unimportant rival”. It was also a way to jab at the “nouveau riche” who found themselves in upper-class circles, but came from lower-class origins. I think ultimately what Gaskell is saying here is that Margaret sees her cousin’s sister-in-law as someone that may try to “steal” her cousin’s affections, but in the end there’s not much to worry about, since Margaret has established affection with Edith (almost like people with generational wealth) and Janet doesn’t have much to compete with because she is too new to Edith’s acquaintance (thus making her like the nouveau riche). Just my interpretation, though, please feel free to sound off in the comments!

Henry goes to sit next to Margaret after Edith’s questioning and Margaret seems very happy to seem him. Not shy at all! Their conversation is interesting. First he starts off with (kind of) mocking her and the ladies “playing with shawls” and how it’s “very different” compared to his “real true law business”. So yeah, not winning any points with me right off the bat, but let’s see where it goes, I guess? I mean, it could be just a joke, right?

He comments on how he’s noticed her doing all the hard work for the wedding and how he hopes she gets a break from that soon. She tries to deflect and mention Edith as also working hard, but he sticks by his assertion that she has been the one doing all the planning work for his brother and Edith’s wedding, which she can’t really deny. Even if she has not done all the work (I imagine Mrs. Shaw has taken up some of the heavy-lifting), it seems that the emotional toil of all the planning is what has made an impact on Margaret.

She wonders if a wedding must always be this way and even suggests that she would like her wedding to be more calm without all of the extra fluff Edith’s has (a bit of a controversial topic in those days I think — in my research I found that Victorian marriages were modeled after Queen Victoria’s ceremony, which included many traditions we still see today). That leads to this passage:

“‘The idea of stately simplicity accords well with your character.’

Margaret did not quite like this speech; she winced away from it more, from remembering former occasions on which he had tried to lead her into a discussion (in which [Henry] took the complimentary part) about her own character and ways of going on. She cut the speech short…”

I find this interesting — that Henry being complimentary is inherently distasteful to her and she immediately turns him away from it. I’m not sure if it’s because a) his compliments suck (who calls someone’s character simplistic — I don’t think that’s the compliment you think it is buddy) b) that’s her future relative-in-law and she thinks it’s weird for him to compliment her or c) she’s just not good at taking compliments in general. I’m actually not sure which it is — I need to see more of her character — but I do know the conversation does not improve from here on out.

She makes a rebuttal to his compliment by saying she is only thinking of her home in Helstone and it’s not a character trait. He tries to get her to talk more about it, but she will not be drawn in. At least not completely. She converses, but also gets quickly annoyed with him. You kind of have to read along to get what I mean, but their conversation is like two steps forward and one back.

Finally, he says, “You are rather severe to-night, Margaret.” And she seems kind of surprised by this because she didn’t realize she was being “severe”: she genuinely could not describe her home as he wants her to. Her justification is basically you can only understand it if you’ve been there, which she did kind of say before this point.

Don’t get me wrong: I love a good banter session, but this one just feels different in a negative way. I also feel like this back-and-forth banter is a set-up. This is how Margaret interacts with the people around her now, because they don’t seem to quite understand her. They think she’s being “uncooperative” or difficult — I don’t think she is. Or perhaps she is, but it’s also Henry’s fault for not changing the subject when she made it clear that she didn’t want to talk about her home and couldn’t describe it!!! I believe her change of scene will help her find people who do get her and maybe she will have a similar form of banter, but this time it will be different and she will be understood. That’s just my speculation, though!

He continues to talk to her, but they hit a roadblock yet again because he asks her “what she does to occupy herself in the country” and when she doesn’t have a good answer, goes to the point of saying:

“I see, you won’t tell me anything. You will only tell me that you are not going to do this and that. Before the vacation ends, I think I shall pay you a call, and see what you really do employ yourself in.”

Idk if someone told me this, even jokingly, I would not like it. This would be my response:

Like why does he need to know her every move?!?!?! I just feel like he’s not asking the right questions and he definitely seems to be making light of her “quaint” living (which I think she’s playing into just so he’ll leave her be). The problem is, he’s just filling in the blanks for her by describing what she does in her current home and then asks “oh so what will you do at Helstone? Archery, parties? Oh, you’re too poor for that? I see you won’t tell me anything.” He sounds exhausting to talk to!!!! Just be a good listener!!!!! Maybe that’s just me and I’m reading too much into it though. I don’t know how much we’ll see of him since he probably won’t be living where Margaret is going, but I honestly hope it’s not much. Or maybe I do — I want to know why he is this way, I’m nosey. 😂😂😂😂

Honestly, it kind of feels like when a neurotypical person and neurodivergent person have a conversation and it just…doesn’t go that well because both people have a different way of communicating and its frustrating for both sides. I know I’m being hard on Henry and whether he deserves that or not is up for debate (I’ll wait for final judgement), but it could just be a case of that. I’m also not saying people of different neurotypes can’t have a satisfying conversation — they definitely can — but it takes understanding from both sides and I do feel like both sides here are not trying to understand the other’s perspective. Just like I could be misunderstanding this whole conversation, I really don’t know!

Also, I’m pretty sure Henry is romantically interested in Margaret, but I don’t know if she returns the feeling. While she was initially was happy to seem him, she seems more annoyed by his conversation than happy (never a good sign). If he is flirting, I think it needs some workshopping because…uh…that ain’t it, pal.

I also notice that when Henry takes his leave, he remarks that “besides, Aunt Shaw won’t like us to talk.” Ok…what does THAT mean???? That nugget of lore is fascinating, but hard to glean much from. Is it because their conversations are always like this and Mrs. Shaw is just tired of hearing the back-and-forth? *Or* is part of the reason they have back-and-forth like this BECAUSE of Mrs. Shaw? Hopefully I’ll find out!

Enter Edith’s fiancé and that’s when the real stir begins! Edith is so excited she runs out of the room just to walk in with him (we love a dramatic entrance lol). We get the chance to observe both brothers while they observe Edith and Margaret in turn. Compared to the captain (and the whole family) it seems that Henry is the “plain one”, but on the whole seems “intelligent” and “keen”. But his interest in watching both women seems to be “slightly sarcastic” — which, what does mean?????? Henry, you’re so confusing!!!!!

Edith decides to show off how good she is at being a soldier’s wife by doing everything herself! Can you guess how well that goes? Yeah, she immediately can’t carry the tea-kettle because it’s too heavy for her and it gets all over her dress. She shows this to her fiancé “like a hurt child” and her fiancé either hugs her or does a relatable “kiss it better” thing — lol (shoutout to a special user in the comments section for helping me figure out what “the remedy was the same in both cases” meant :D). The chapter mostly ends with discussing how they made the tea and then “all was bustle until the wedding was over.”

I think it’s interesting that we don’t get a clear picture of the aforementioned fiancé — now husband. The only thing I can really mention is that he’s obviously affectionate with Edith and seems to humor her childish moods.

As for Margaret, I avoided talking too much about her character, specifically because I think we get it through the way she interacts with others. This is already long so I’ll make a quick list of what I think we can glean from her character so far, in no particular order:

Reflective

Understanding — for the most part (not with Henry)

Playful (to herself)

Doesn’t like too much attention

Determined

Not afraid of conflict

Speaks her mind

Loves her home

Loves her family, but knows their faults

Values tranquility

Helpful

Observant

Self-confident

I think that’s it! I’m excited to read more and hope you enjoyed my ramblings :)

#whew that was a lot #long post #north and south #north and south weekly #novas notes

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